Timesuck with Dan Cummins - 376 - Debunking The World's Most Dangerous Conspiracy: The Protocols

Episode Date: November 27, 2023

Want to know where a lot of the core ideas from the many conspiracies that revolve around the idea the a small, secretive cabal of wealthy Jews control the world and want to enslave and destroy humanity come from? Some old debunked Russian propaganda that is still causing problems over 125 years after it was written. Today, I'll explore the roots of antisemitism, and how antisemitic beliefs have led to various conspiratorial allegations against the Jewish people, and to the creation of the fictitious Protocols and more. Hail Nimrod!Get tour tickets at dancummins.tv Watch the Suck on YouTube: https://youtu.be/0tlMV_6VaM8Merch: https://www.badmagicmerch.comTimesuck Discord! https://discord.gg/tqzH89vWant to join the Cult of the Curious private Facebook Group? Go directly to Facebook and search for "Cult of the Curious" in order to locate whatever happens to be our most current page :)For all merch related questions/problems: [e-mail] (copy and paste)Please rate and subscribe on Apple Podcasts and elsewhere and follow the suck on social media!! @timesuckpodcast on IG and http://www.facebook.com/timesuckpodcastWanna become a Space Lizard?  Click here: https://www.patreon.com/timesuckpodcastSign up through Patreon and for $5 a month you get access to the entire Secret Suck catalog  (295 episodes) PLUS the entire catalog of Timesuck, AD FREE.  You'll also get 20% off of all regular Timesuck merch PLUS access to exclusive Space Lizard merch.  And you get the download link for my secret standup  album, Feel the Heat.

In 1935, a Swiss judge, presiding in a trial of two Swiss national socialists charged with circulating the Protocols of the Elders of Zion, wrote, I hope that one day there will come a time when no one will any longer comprehend how in the year 1935, almost a dozen fully sensible and reasonable men could, for 14 days, torment their brains before a court of burn over the authenticity or lack of authenticity of these so-called protocols, that for all the harm they have already caused and may yet cause are nothing but ridiculous nonsense. Did you know that one of the primary sources, if not the main source for most modern, the Jews are secretly controlling the world and actively working to enslave humanity.

Conspiracy theories is a completely fictional piece of propagandist literature. The new world order, the trilateralists, the Rothschilds, the Bilderbergers, the Illuminati, the reptilians, agenda 21, QAnon, Pizzagate, on and on and on. Think about how many modern conspiracies revolve around a secretive evil cabal of people who control the banks, the media, the economy, people who want to enslave humanity, people who keep you poor, who want to do you harm, people who hate God. They just don't want to own your life. They want to own your very soul. People so vile, they kidnap children, keep them in cages, terrorize them, abuse them, sacrifice them to the devil in order to energize their adrenochrome and drink it to help them live longer evil lives, yada, yada, yada. Dig deep enough into enough of these conspiracies.

And you will find that about 90% of the time, the real culprits, the members of the cabal living in the shadows, the puppet masters are Jewish. Typically evil Jewish money and power hungry bankers. And what is the main source of this trope of the evil Jewish power hungry banker? Where does it come from? The protocols of the elders of Zion, the proven forgery and propaganda piece of the protocols was published over a century ago and initially almost disappeared from the history books with very little fanfare. But then several years after its arrival, it got passed around a little bit here, a little bit there. Then Henry Ford fell in love with it, really spread it around, as did Hitler.

And ever since, it's been a conspiracy staple and a powerful piece of hate used to rally the scared and the ignorant against the Jews. The protocol started off as an appendix, is really when it first kind of got passed around, added to a religious tract published in 1905. The author claimed the Protocols were the notes from a meeting of Jewish leaders, these elders plotting to destroy Gentiles and control the world. And it's a bunch of bullshit.

The Protocols are based very loosely on a real Congress where Jewish leaders did meet to discuss Zionism. But there was no world domination conspiracy. Nothing was secretive. The conference was witnessed, was reported on by plenty of non-Jewish attendees, reporters, etc. The protocols first quickly gained popularity in Russia. Very likely authored by a Russian propagandist. Propaganda in Russia.

Sadly, nothing new. After the 1917 Russian Revolution, the text was disseminanda in Russia? Sadly, nothing new. After the 1917 Russian Revolution, the text was disseminated in Europe and the U.S., all over, where it was picked up by people like, you know, American business tycoon Henry Ford. The protocol is also referenced by Adolf Hitler as justification for his final solution. Conspiracy theories about Jewish people are sadly nothing new. Antisemitism dates back to the beginnings of Judaism and has taken different forms over the centuries, but the basic tenets remain the same, hatred and distrust of those viewed as the other. This week I'm going to present a brief summary of the history of anti-Semitism as well as the infamous protocols of the elders of Zion

and its worldwide influence over the past hundred plus years. calls of the elders of Zion and its worldwide influence over the past hundred plus years on another tinfoil hat, conspiratorial shadowy forces control your every move. Edition of Time Suck. This is Michael McDonald and you're listening to Time Suck. You're listening to Time Suck. Happy Monday and hope you had a happy Thanksgiving, Meat Sacks. Welcome to the Cult of the Curious. I'm Dan Kelman, suck nasty, turkey lover.

Still a big fan of used women's bicycles. A guy with a seriously twisted up boner right now. I'm talking 360 degrees. Thank God I haven't fallen out of bed yet again this week upon it. And you are listening to Time Suck. Hail Nimrod, hail Lucifina, praise Bojangles and glory be to Triple M. Please leave me a rating and or review.

Throw me some of those five stars. Thanks to a lot of new listeners the past few weeks who've been doing so. Hope you stick around. Glad you are here in this weird universe. Also, thanks to the people coming over from the Jason Ellis Show. My episode of the Jason Ellis Show out now. That guy is such an interesting dude.

I love listening to him. My God, does he have a lot of crazy life stories. And just a cool way about him. He's been an awesome skateboarder for so long as well. Selling some cool skateboards that him and Tony Hawk sign right now. He had a great time, Jason. And let us get started. Since I imagine the nature of this week's topic will make many of you wonder if I'm going to address the current conflict between the Israeli government and Hamas,

let me address why I am not addressing that. Out of respect to both sides, I don't want to just toss out some knee-jerk reaction and talk shit out of turn. I've been using all my time, and I mean all my time, to finish out my existing stand-up obligations, take some podcast appearance trips to promote what we're doing here, do the best job I can with each of the, you know, episodes I'm releasing, deal with, you know, the trials and tribulations, just being a small business owner, being a present husband, dad, etc. And I just haven't had the time needed to thoroughly research, you know, what led to the current horrors in the Middle East and truly form an intelligent, nuanced opinion. I think doing that would truly take days. It would take a

full episode to share why I have come to any conclusions I've come to. It needs to be its own topic and it will be. For today, let me just say that the situation in the Gaza Strip is just, yeah, it's fucking heartbreaking. It's so sad to keep reading about the death of so many innocent people on both sides You know, especially about the many children who have died, who continue to die And that is just the most intelligent statement I can make right now I've been watching a lot of other people out there recently trying to, you know, make a real complicated situation sound very, very simple And I don't want to add to that shit So I hope you understand. I will, though, in today's updates, share someone else's opinion on the

situation in the Gaza Strip. They do seem to have looked way more into it than I have. And I really enjoyed the way they wrote what they wrote. Very lucky to have such curious and cool fans. So let us begin. Starting with an overview today of historical antisemitism, why I think the Jewish people have been a frequent target of unfair hate and scorn for many, many centuries. Then conspiracy theories about the Jewish people before jumping into a timeline covering the publication of the Protocols of the Elders of Zion and the book's impact on different regions of the world. Hail Nimrod, let's fucking go! 2016, the International Holocaust Remembrance Alliance adopted a working definition of antisemitism that states, Antisemitism is a certain perception of Jews which may be expressed as hatred toward Jews. Rhetorical and physical manifestations of anti-Semitism are directed towards Jewish or non-Jewish individuals and or their property,

toward Jewish community institutions and religious facilities. For the first time going over this research, adding to it, watching tons of videos about the protocols, etc. I found myself wondering, why is there a specific term for hatred of the Jewish people? Because I don't think there's a direct common usage linguistic equivalent for people who specifically hate black people, Asian people, Hispanic people, et cetera,

or people who hate Muslims, Christians, Buddhists, et cetera. Those folks fall under umbrella terms like bigots, racists, xenophobes. I think the specific, you know, like Jewish specific hate term of anti-Semitism exists because Jewish people historically might just be the most consistently hated and misunderstood people in the world. Like, think about it. Numerous black hip-hop artists have openly made anti-Semitic statements in recent years. Think about it. Numerous black hip hop artists have openly made anti-Semitic statements in recent years. Plenty of white supremacist groups have openly vilified Jewish people, made them public enemy number one. In fact, for the entirety of their organization's

existence. I just read an article that came out just a few days ago about a massive rise this year, 2023 and anti-Semitism in China. It's all over the world. Jewish people have been commonly vilified and openly accused of diabolical conspiracy type shit everywhere. Europe, South America, Africa, Asia, North America, whites, Asians, Africans, Christians, Muslims, and more have assigned all kinds of horrible stereotypes and traits to Jewish people and continue to believe them in many cases. Jewish people targeted in the biggest genocide in the history of the world, the Holocaust. Now it's fairly common to publicly deny that the Holocaust ever happened, to accuse Jews of making it up or greatly exaggerating what really happened for their benefit.

Why would they do that? Because, you know, they're Jews. They can't be trusted. They're inherently conniving and manipulative. They're wicked, wicked people given half a chance. They'd fucking enslave everyone and destroy the world, you know, et cetera, et cetera. So when was the term anti-Semitism coined? Well, let me share an excerpt from my jewishlearning.com that explains the origin better than I ever could. better than I ever could. Anti-Semitism as a concept and a movement was a response to the so-called Jewish question, which was itself precipitated by the remarkable economic,

cultural, and political ascent of the Jews during the 19th century and their entry into mainstream European life. For some of the peoples among whom they lived, this rapid accumulation of power was ominously threatening. Accustomed to seeing Jews as small-time chisels, heretics, peddlers, and parasites, they were now confronted by Jewish political leaders, cultural luminaries, bankers, captains of industry, army officers, professors, and bosses. No longer powerless outsiders, Jews were seen as wielders of surreptitiously acquired power. wielders of surreptitiously acquired power. Seeing only the dramatic success stories, this view ignored the thousands of still-impoverished Jews dwelling in Eastern Europe and in the slums of Central and Western European cities. Nevertheless, it was the fear of what Jews would do with their wildly exaggerated power that animated efforts to disempower them before it

was too late, first in Germany and then in many other countries. Conservative Christians, disaffected Democrats, former liberals, nationalists, cultural critics, thwarted academics, and visionary social reformers took action against the Jewish enemy in a variety of ways. Some, though certainly not all, were convinced that a mass movement organized on the basis of Jew hatred was the best way to proceed, assuming, probably correctly, that the great majority of their countrymen harbored some degree of resentment, suspicion, or disdain for Jews. The term anti-Semitism emerged to describe these efforts. In Germany, Wilhelm Marr, if not the coiner of the word, then certainly one of its major early popularizers, thought of himself as a modern man, a student of history and science.

Anti-Semitism allowed him to distinguish the party he launched in late 1879, the Anti-Semites League, from the religious bigotry of medieval Jew hatred. Like many, but not all, who shared his goals, Marr defined the Jewish question as one of race, not religious deviance. In the past, persecution had been episodic. Outbursts of terrible violence alternated with long periods of quiet relations between Jews and their neighbors. In Marr's view, such lackadaisical Jew hatred had allowed Jews to grow stronger and, in fact, launch plans for conquest of the non-Jewish world. Mere religious prejudice had failed to halt their rise. The Jews had become too powerful, too entrenched in society

to be beaten back by the occasional pogrom. Wow, that's some powerful shit. So why have the Jews been hated more than anyone else? What exactly have they done to be so frequently maligned? Well, they've taken their circumcised, dirty Jewish dicks, and they fucked up so many Gentile bicycles. Holy shit! Do they love to ride a Gentile bike and ride it hard? And when they're done, they don't even fucking have the decency to drop the kickstand. No, they just slam it to the ground. What do they care? They got what they wanted. Sorry if you missed the Duggar episode. That must be terribly confusing to hear. No, here is why I think, I've been thinking a lot about this this week, why they've been so frequently maligned and hated.

After over seven years of studying a lot of conspiracies here, not just on Time Suck, but on dozens and dozens of episodes of The Secret Suck as well. After more than seven years of studying a lot of history, digging into human behavior outside of studying psychology and sociology many years before podcasting, after being a very curious, nerdy person for most of my life, I would like to share some speculation that I pretty confidently feel is true. Walk with me a bit and let me share why I really think the Jewish people have historically been persecuted more than any other group worldwide. I'll start by citing some Pew Research Center stats. They're my favorite

research institution. Back in 2010, Pew conducted a massive study of religious adherence around the world, surveying 230 nations and releasing the findings in 2012. Worldwide, more than 8 in 10 people do identify with a religious group. I don't know why I expect it to not be quite that high. And out of over 80% of the world's religious people, 31.5% Christian, 23.2% Muslim, 0.2% Jewish. More than half the world's religious people identify as either Christian or Muslim compared to 0.2% being Jewish. And in the US specifically in 2010, while not quite 1% were Muslim, over 70% of religious

people were Christian compared to less than 2% being Jewish. In Europe, almost 75% of religious people are Christian, 6% Muslim, about 0.2% again, Jewish. So assuming these numbers are more or less the same today in the Western world, over 70% of the population is Christian and Muslim, and somewhere between 0.2% and 2% of the population is Jewish. And things have been more or less this way for centuries. Also, and this is very important, both Christianity and Islam, Abrahamic religions born from Judaism, and holy fuck, has being the mother religion for the two biggest religions in the world today,

really not worked out at all for Judaism. Why not? Because Judaism, by the very nature of its continued existence, is a direct rejection of both Christianity and Islam, just like Christianity and Islam reject both each other and also Judaism. Judaism does not recognize either Jesus being a deity and the literal son of God, the God of Abraham, nor does it recognize Muhammad as being a prophet of this God of Abraham, nor does it recognize Muhammad as being a prophet of this God. And because Judaism does not recognize the holiness of Jesus or Muhammad, they might as well constantly be telling all of the Islamic world, currently estimated at 1.9 billion people, and all of Christendom, roughly 2.4 billion people. So 4.3 billion people total, literally more than half of the people on earth that they're a bunch of fucking idiots worshiping some con artists and that canon has been perceived as being you

know a bit inflammatory at best and downright satanic at worst that shit historically does not help you win friends and influence people and that shit's been happening for centuries and long before that due to how old jud Judaism is, scripture-wise, since Abraham, around 1800 BCE, but more likely no earlier than the 11th century BCE and probably originating in the 6th century BCE, Judaism also came into contact with the ancient Greeks, the Egyptians, the Romans, and more. And since the ancient Jews also refused to worship all of their gods, they were also in cultural conflict with those societies, in conflict with the founding civilizations of the modern Western world,

societies that also had big numbers on them. Prior to the establishment of the modern state of Israel in 1948, there was not a Jewish homeland for over 2,000 years. And even back then, there was no massive, powerful Jewish state. You had to go back another 1,000 years for the possibility of a kind of powerful Jewish state. And that far back, the history books, well, they get pretty foggy. Are the old historical stories of the Torah actually true, greatly exaggerated, allegory, mostly made up? We don't know.

I lay all this out to show that going back to the earliest days of recorded history, the Jewish people have been a largely stateless people bound together by cultural traditions and shared faith, wandering through other people's lands, systematically rejecting their gods. And here's yet another huge factor in becoming a massive target of the mainstream cultures around them. Unlike many other religions, unlike both Christianity and Islam, Jews don't, they don't do missionary work. Remember the last time a rabbi knocked on your door, wanted to convert you? Or the time you saw a rabbi stand on a soapbox in some downtown street corner, screaming about how the end is near and you better get your salvation in order before you get your ass burned forever? Right?

Not in the traditional Jewish faith. It doesn't happen. The Jews are not out there on a regular basis talking to non-Jews about the core tenets of their faith. They do not evangelize. An important tenet of Judaism is that God's will is for people to exercise free will. As such, proselytizing is generally regarded as offensive in Judaism. In Israel today, it's actually illegal to proselytize to a person younger than 18 without the consent of both parents. Did you know that? I did not. It really makes it hard to grow your religion into something that can compete with the big dogs

if you're not out there constantly spreading the word. And even if you wanted to become Jewish, not easy. Without getting deep into the weeds of it all, a conversion candidate has to convince a rabbi and the Beth Din, a Jewish rabbinical court that operates primarily through Jewish law of their sincerity. Beth Din is Hebrew for house of judgment. The convert will have to undergo a considerable amount of study, like a lot, like years. In

addition to studying, potential converts typically expected to become very involved in the Jewish community. And there's even more to it. You know, holy shit, it is way harder than becoming a Christian, for example, which generally involves accepting Christ as. You know, holy shit, it is way harder than becoming a Christian, for example, which generally involves accepting Christ as your saver, being baptized, and that's it. You're in. Literally anyone can do that and do it quickly. So zoom out and think about this big picture.

You have a small group of people who reject most other people's prophets and gods, have done so for thousands of years. You have a small group of people who have almost always lived in other people's lands, who will not share all of their customs with these other people unless they really fucking want it and really work for it. Oh, and there's another massive factor in why Jewish people are continually targeted. Historically, Jews have followed a lot of strict rules.

You know, it's a very comprehensive religion. Won't eat certain food, wear their hair in a specific way that has nothing to do with the fashion trends of the time and place around them, dress in very specific ways based on tradition, don't work on certain days, and on and on. All of that means they have a real hard time fully immersing themselves in the cultures of the lands they have lived in. Think about being a guest in someone's home, right, or whatever, being offered some snack and then rejecting it. A lot of people take offense to that, find that rude, right or wrong. So what does all of this add up to? It adds up to being the ultimate outsider, the ultimate other. And who do we tribal meat sacks? We are such a tribal species, tend to fear the most outsiders, others. We fear what we do not understand and who we do not understand. And historically, we have had a hard time understanding

the Jewish people. And what do we tend to do with outsiders and others who we fear? We denigrate them. We persecute them. We scapegoat them. We slaughter them. And since there are generally not very many of these ultimate outsiders in any of the places they've historically lived, they've been so easy for the majority culture to target and persecute compared to almost any other group. Even the Romani people, another long targeted historical group known primarily as gypsies in modern times, tend to adopt the religion of the people around them. So they're less of an outsider. No one really goes it alone, quite like the Jews. And I think that's why I feel compelled to defend them so often here. I've always loved the underdog. I've always, you know, hated bullies.

I hate, you know, easy targets being targeted. Okay. I know that was a lot, but I feel like it's important to understand when it comes to trying to wrap our heads around why anyone would write the propaganda piece, uh, the protocols of the elders of Zion in the first place. Okay. Now let's talk about anti-Semitism in practice. The most extreme example of anti-Semitism is, of course, the Holocaust, when roughly 6 million Jewish men,

women, and children murdered by the Nazi German regime and its allies and collaborators. Literally the most massive genocide in recorded human history. Heavily documented historical event. So fucking weird. It feels like I need to reiterate that the Holocaust is heavily documented. Another terrible and enduring example of antisemitism is denying that the Holocaust ever happened, right? If you're a Holocaust denier, maybe try reading less pamphlets and more books. Maybe spend less time talking to weirdos at the end of the bar and more time talking to sober people at the library. Every time anti-Semitism, you know, or every day, excuse me, anti-Semitism permeates our society.

German journalist Wilhelm Marr first popularized the term in 1879, as we mentioned. This is also a political person. But anti-Semitism goes back to ancient times. The term Semites comes from Shem, one of the sons of the biblical boat builder Noah. Jewish people thought to be descendants of Shem. A Semite can technically refer to anyone from the Middle East, but Semitism and antisemitism refer to only Jewish people about 99% of the time.

In ancient empires, as I mentioned, such as the ones in Roman Greece, Jews often persecuted for remaining separate rather than assimilating and taking on the religions and the traditions of their empires. Christian leaders in Europe and Muslim leaders in the Middle East also promoted, you know, antisemitism in varying degrees as an effort to gain converts and demonize and stop the spread of the competition. And of course they did. There is no denying that major religion is in a sense of business. Not saying that doesn't mean a religion's beliefs, you know, are not true. I don't know. I'm not saying that there's not a lot of faith involved. Just saying that religions are institutions that are definitely monetized and no single institution in the world during the

middle ages was monetized more than the Catholic church. It's still one of the world's wealthiest organizations, maybe the wealthiest. We can't say for sure since they don't publicize their assets, but it's estimated that the church controls around 177 million acres of land around the world, including churches, monasteries, farms, and forests, which makes it the institution with the largest land holdings in the globe. That's more land than the entire nation of France,

almost twice as much land as all of japan If all of the catholic churches estimated land was in one place, it would be the 39th largest nation in the world. It's fucking wild And it owns not just land but very valuable land massive opulent churches and some of the most desirable locations on earth And then there are all all the nearly priceless works of art An unknown amount of cash, stocks, et cetera, estimated to be worth tens of billions of dollars. You do not amass all that wealth unless you're running a business,

a very successful business, the most successful business in human history. And part of religion's business model is trying to attain or maintain a competitive advantage over its rivals and dominate its business sector, so to speak. And one of the ways various Christian institutions have done that is to demonize Judaism. During the Middle Ages, economic, social, and political policies targeted Jewish people in Europe heavily. Many anti-Semitic practices in Nazi Germany originated way earlier in medieval Europe,

such as the practice of combining Jews to ghettos. Some countries required Jews to wear a yellow badge on their clothing or other distinctive markings to separate them from everyone else. Early Christianity also prohibited loaning money for interest. The church forbid it, but Christians found a loophole. Not a poophole loophole, not that exciting, but a Jewish loophole. Many wealthy Christians, particularly wealthy royals, still wanted to lend money with interest, right? Let their money make more fucking money. In order to get around Christian usury laws,

they hired Jewish bankers to do the work for them. And some Jewish people like the Rothschild family, well, they became very prominent figures in banking and lending, the most prominent. And then their success in banking made them targets of jealousy that fed the myth that the protocols perpetuated, that a secret cabal of wealthy, power hungry Jews control everything. Let me walk you through how the Rothschilds very frequently pointed to as proof of a Jewish global conspiracy became wealthy.

If the following sounds familiar, I did previously share this info in episode 114 on the New World Order Illuminati conspiracy back in 2018. Meyer Amschel Rothschild was a German Jewish banker born in 1744 in Frankfurt, and he would quickly build a banking empire unlike anything the world had ever seen. He was the son of a businessman who worked in currency exchange for a local minor royalty member. And why did his family work in banking? This is so important because he wanted to take over the world and eat so many fucking Christian Muslim and other Gentile babies. The sweet taste of Gentile adrenochrome. Meyer wanted to please his real God, Satan, and suck Baphomet's cock. And I don't know, maybe ride some lady demon's bicycles off some evil fucking Knievel big ramps

in hell over flames. And I don't know. I don't know. I'm not sure. I don't have all the exact details of what the evil Jewish Illuminati motherfucker was up to. Or instead of all that crazy talk. Meyer worked in banking because it was one of the very few careers available to medieval Jewish people, thanks to a combination of anti-Semitism and Christian usury laws. Jews were legally prohibited from most jobs from a large

variety of trades across medieval Europe. Money lending, though, not one of them. The all-powerful Catholic Church at the time forbade charging interest on loans by Christians, citing the Christian notion of usury, referred to in such verses as Exodus 22, 25. If you lend money to any of my people with who, sorry, start over. If you lend money to any of my people with you who is poor, you shall not be like a money lender to him and you shall not exact interest from him. Also Ezekiel 18, 13, lends at interest and takes profit. Shall he then live? He shall not live.

He has done all these abominations. He shall surely die. His blood shall be upon himself. So in order to get around the Pope forbidding Christians lend money, which included wealthy royals, wealthy royals who would have a court factor, a Jewish banker who would lend money on their behalf. They couldn't lend money, but they could have someone like Meyer Rothschild lend their money for them, have their money work for them, you know, the way all great investors do for a fee paid to, you know, Meyer, of course.

And Meyer was very, very good at lending money. He was the fucking Michael Jordan of medieval lending. After becoming a court factor in 1769, Mayor Rothschild steadily picked up more financial clients, right? Other people, other wealthy people, like, hey, man, he's making money for this fucking guy. Why can't he make money for me? And so it goes, and he has more people, more people, more people. Eventually, his expanding client base leads to him becoming the financial lender for Crown Prince Wilhelm in 1785. This prince became Wilhelm IX, land grave of Hesse Castle, a large German state. That dude had one of the largest fortunes in all of Europe. Then during the French Revolution,

Britain hires a bunch of Hessian mercenaries, soldiers belonging to Wilhelm. Rothschild handles the payments for these said mercenaries, and he's paid for doing that. So now he's viewed as a war profiteer, a label that has stuck, an opportunist, an evil, greedy puppet master pulling the strings of war to get Gentiles to kill one another so he can make his dirty blood gold. And then in the early 19th century, but really, you know, the guy he's lending the money for is making the real money. Then in the early 19th century, Rothschild continues to be the banker for very wealthy Wilhelm. Even after Napoleon invades Hesse and Wilhelm goes into exile. for very wealthy Wilhelm, even after Napoleon invades Hesse and Wilhelm goes into exile.

He and Wilhelm made a bunch of money financing sneaking goods into Hesse past the blockade Napoleon set up. Mayer also has 10 kids while he worked, and he brought several into his increasingly lucrative family business. He taught them well. One way of looking at that

is he was a great fucking dad who shared his knowledge and expertise so that his kids could prosper like he did. But that is not the way many anti-Semitic conspiracies view it. Now, they view it as he sold his soul to make the money he did, and now he sold his children's souls as well. This evil fuck. 1798, Meyer sent his third-born son, Nathan Meyer Rothschild, born in 1777 to England, to further family investments in textiles. Sent him with 20,000, he's expanding his business. Sent him with 20,000 pounds to get started.

The equivalent of over 2.6 million US dollars today, roughly. And by 1804, Nathan is able to open a bank in London. The Rothschild family's first foreign branch. And it quickly becomes the bank where smart, wealthy, often royal Londoners do their business. Huge market for wealth building. Meyer's youngest son, James, born in 1792, is sent to Paris in 1811, only 19 years old, to open another bank, enhancing the family's ability to operate across Europe. Paris, another great location for wealth building. And then so it goes, and they keep expanding and

expanding. And now they're globalists. Following the Napoleonic Wars, James would play a major role in financing the construction of railways and the mining business that helped make France an industrial power. They have kids who also become bankers. Many of their kids become bankers, financiers, big business people. Long story short, Rothschilds become the wealthiest family the world has ever seen. Oh, and did I mention that the head of their family, Meyer, was also associated with the actual Illuminati? Oh yeah.

Oh, fucking conspiracy theorists come all over themselves when they put this together. Yeah, he actually did help fund the initial very real organization of the Illuminati. So the head of the world's first, most powerful banking family, also the same man who founded the

illuminati in a sense with you know funded at least so dun dun dun and what was the original illuminati a small group of intellectual dissidents founded in 1776 by a college professor who was christian but was also jewish heritage wise adam weishaupt so he probably was just pretending to be christian to fucking trick us! The original Illuminati, also covered in Time Suck episode 114, just a bunch of dudes basically who felt the Catholic Church was intellectually

suppressive, which it was. And they did want to overthrow it. Because they were evil? No. Because they saw the medieval church for what it was, a ruthless institution built on control and exploitation. An institution that saw Jews like Meyer what it was, a ruthless institution built on control and exploitation, an institution that saw Jews like Meyer Rothschild, a lender, as someone worthy of being killed, just like it says in Ezekiel 18.13.

And all this leads to the resentment of Jews like the Rothschilds and Jews in general who have economic success. And not saying that all the Rothschild descendants were stand-up great people, by the way, excuse me. Some of them certainly have not been. Just showing where the evil Jewish banker stereotype comes from. Comes from a group of people being pushed into limited career professions due to discriminatory practices, laws, then being maligned for excelling in the positions they have forced to take.

It's fucking insane. And being maligned like this and in similar ways has led to a lot of death over the centuries. Before digging into this death, time for the first of two mid-show sponsor breaks. If you hate these ads, you can get the entire Timesite catalog ad free and much more on Patreon for $5 a month. Thanks for listening to those sponsors. And now time to talk about a history of anti-Semitic violence. The first recorded anti-Jewish riots took place earlier than I thought. Alexandria, Egypt in the year 38 CE. A representative of the Roman Emperor Caligula.

Weird. I always fucking heard that he was a really nice guy. Like a fair, just, you know, level-headed guy. But a representative of Caligula added statues of the emperor to the city's synagogues and destroyed much of the Jewish symbols in these synagogues. Basically, you will come to heal, Jews. You will worship the same gods as the rest of us.

You will respect thy emperor of Rome. Following the placement of these statues, which many Jewish people resisted, an edict was issued allowing anyone to kill any of the city's Jews. Here we fucking go. For not following kill any of the city's jews here we fucking go for not following the customs of the city's other inhabitants for choosing to remain being others they were eradicated right you don't fucking kiss the ring you don't get protection uh so you know cutting past many more examples like this a lot of jewish people were murdered

in europe during the crusades particularly during the first crusade when christian soldiers murdered jews in france and elsewhere in the Holy Roman Empire. In the 12th century, many Christians accused Jews of blood libel, the false allegation that Jews sacrificed Christian children every year at Passover to use their blood for unleavened bread. This accusation would resurface over and over for centuries, became part of Nazi propaganda in the 1930s. This myth predates Christianity,

actually goes back to the ancient Greeks at a time of tension between Hellenism and Judaism. In the third century BCE, it was alleged to a Greek king, Antiochus IV, that the Jews would kidnap a Greek foreigner, fatten him up for a whole year, ritually sacrifice him, and partake of his flesh. Seems that some prisoner told the king all this while being tortured. So maybe not the most accurate confession. Cool story, bro. This myth flared up in the 12th century, centuries later, over millennia later, after the murder of a young boy named William in Norwich,

England in 1144 CE. William goes missing during the week of Easter, which coincides with Passover that year. His uncle, who was a priest, randomly blames local Jews for his murder. Why not? Right? They don't worship the same God, so they must have fucking done it. Had no evidence. Soon this rumor spreads and morphs and the story becomes that Jews are crucifying a Christian child every year at Passover and multiple fucking kids all over the country. We gotta do something about this.

William becomes a martyr and later Jews in Norwich are attacked by mobs, fucking many killed, you know, those who are not killed, forced to flee. During the Black Death, a.k.a. the bubonic plague, when life was shitty fucking for everybody in Europe, it was shittier for the Jews. Another rumor spreads around Europe. This rumor is that these others, these people we don't understand, people not like us in every way, these Jews are poisoning the wells to spread the plague,

which leads to extreme flare-ups of anti-Semitism and violence, despite the fact that thousands of Jewish people also are dying from the plague and drinking from the same fucking wells. Why would they poison their own fucking wells? During just the years between 1348 and 1350, estimated that roughly 510 jewish

communities in europe completely destroyed over like you know shit like this now there's also rumors and conspiracies revolving around secret jewish conferences well with the goal to subjugate and destroy christians right these things just uh start to get uh spread around because you know like they're because we don't understand their their rituals because they don't let us into their you know religious practices so they must be fucking plotting to have revenge martin luther the leader of the protestant reformation in the early 16th century expresses anti-semitic beliefs in his writings martin luther relied on jewish scholars to translate hebrew scriptures into german he initially thought when he broke away from the catholic church that hordes of jewish people would flock to his reformed church and accept Christ as their savior. And when that didn't happen, he was like,

well, fuck them then. And he wrote a series of pamphlets, strongly denouncing them. In one pamphlet, Luther wrote, we are not at fault for not, or no, excuse me, worse. We are at fault for not slaying them. Rather, we allow them to live freely in our midst, despite their murder, cursing, blaspheming, lying, and defaming. Those evil folks. Why do we allow them to defame and blaspheme and murder, but also curse? Spain actually expelled its Jewish population entirely in 1492. Only Christian converts were allowed to stay. Those who were suspected of continuing to practice Judaism in secret will become tortured victims of the Spanish Inquisition. Not the first European nation to kick out all of its Jews. Also, England did the same thing in 1290.

German city of Mainz kicked them all out in 1090. Banned from Upper Bavaria in 1276, kicked out of France, but allowed to buy their back end at a substantial price over and over in the 12th, 13th, and 14th centuries. And on and on and on, kicked out of literally hundreds of various European cities, nations throughout the Middle Ages. Because of the continual mass expulsion during the medieval ages, Jewish populations now move east to Poland, Turkey, Russia, and elsewhere. In 1264, the Polish prince, Bolesław the Pious,

issued a decree allowing personal, political, and religious freedoms for Jewish people, which is why Poland would end up having a high percentage of Jewish people. Polish noblemen in the Middle Ages generally showed more favor to Jews than elsewhere in Europe because of the persecution they faced and because of a desire for their expertise in commerce at that time. That treatment led to Poland becoming home to the largest population of Jews in all of Europe. And then between 17 and 18% of the Polish population will be killed by Nazis and Russians in World War II. Most of Europe, Jewish people did not receive citizenship or rights until the late 17 and early 1800s. During the Enlightenment period from 1685 to 1815, European scholars began to debunk a lot of Christian superstitions around Judaism. And while that did help lead to less expulsion and death, did not, however, lead to a decrease in anti-Semitism. These same Enlightenment thinkers blame the Jews for the advent of Christianity and for the injustice committed by followers of Abrahamic religions.

They just couldn't fucking win, right? Hey, we're fucking tired of this group of people just killing you left and right. But on the other hand, we're fucking pissed that you kind of invented those people in a sense. So it's really your fault that all this is happening. Catherine, the great Empress of Russia was the first to give Jewish people

proper political rights in Europe during her reign from 1762 to 1796. Possibly up to a million Jewish people came to Russia. She was way less hateful towards the Jewish people than a lot of her predecessors. Russian royal family Catherine married into, intensely anti-Semitic. Peter the Great, they had a lot of great rulers, who ruled Russia from 1682 to 1725, famously declared that he would prefer to see in our midst nations professing Muhammadism and paganism rather than Jews. The Jews are rogues and cheats. It is my endeavor to eradicate evil,

not to multiply. So he saw them as just flat out evil. Before Catherine, Jews were largely banned from living anywhere inside of Russia. Converts Christianity tolerated, but Jews who refused to abandon their faith generally barred from living in the interior of the country. Peter the Great's daughter, Serena,

the Tsarina, Elizabeth. But when the city of Riga, formerly ceded by Sweden to Russia in 1721, today the capital of Latvia, petitioned Elizabeth to allow Jewish merchants to remain, she declared, I do not wish to obtain any benefit or profit from the enemies of Jesus Christ. Right.

Also seen as the killers of Christ. Catherine wasn't this harsh, at least not at first, but then while initially appearing progressive, Catherine had Jewish people set a land to keep them out of economic occupations and other professions. And they were then forced to hear conversion sermons from Orthodox church members. Catherine levied additional taxes

on the followers of Judaism, twice the taxes laid upon them as non-Jews. But if a family converted to the Orthodox faith, the additional taxes were lifted. Taxes would double again for those of Jewish descent in 1794 when Catherine now officially declares that the Jews bear no relation to Russians. She starts turning on them. Towards the end of her reign, there are riots and many, many Jewish people are murdered, right? Just on and on. After the French revolution of 1789 to

1794, Jewish people granted citizenship there, but only if they gave up their communal identity in order to gain respect and rights. So not really given fair treatment, right? Centuries of exclusion and persecution like this led to Jews developing a very strong, close-knit religious and community identity in much of Europe, which would then lead to even more hatred later. Okay, now let me start to shift things towards the publishing of the protocols. In 1797, a conservative French Jesuit priest named Abbey Beruel published a treatise blaming the revolution on the order of the Freemasons. The book was titled Memoirs Illustrating the History of Jacobinism. He wrote that the French Revolution was a conspiracy or plot to overthrow the royals and aristocrats in Europe.

The plot was organized by radical philosophers associated with Voltaire, Freemasons, the order of the Illuminati. The Jacobins, the rebel political club during the Revolution inherited this new system. And when I say Illuminati, I'm referring to Adam Weishaupt's organization I went over earlier, right? The Secret Society founded in Bavaria in 1776. That group would be discovered in 1784, and conspiracy soon followed that the Illuminati was still around after that 1784. And conspiracies soon followed that the Illuminati was still around after that 1784 discovery, which they weren't, trying to overthrow monarchies and transform society. The Illuminati was disbanded before the beginning of the French Revolution,

but of course, millions believed that they were secretly still in operation and secretly are still today. Almost a decade after the publication of his book book Barrowell received a letter from a man named Jean-Baptiste Simonini Gorgonzola, Ferecchini, Sofia, Machiavelli or just Jean-Baptiste Simonini who alleged the Jews were part of the conspiracy behind the French Revolution the original letter has never been found but yet it continues to have influence

over anti-Semitic conspiracies letter was dated august 1st 1806 barrowell received it august 20th not much is known about simonini but we do know he was a captain of the piedmontese army in italy and lived in logean in 1815 simonini congratulated barrowell on his book but alleged the jewish people were behind the Freemasons and Illuminati. Also wrote about how Jewish people had initiated him into their plans in Piedmont. Berewell tried to verify the letter's authenticity by writing to different people. He was told that Simonini could be trusted, so he starts to look more into this conspiracy. Berewell sent Simonini's letter to his friends, wrote that he believed the Freemasons started

the revolution. Although some Jewish people were Freemasons, he did not believe they were the sole force behind the conspiracy. However, copies of the letter are already in circulation among conservative elites who didn't share his perspective and the damages done. Simonini's letter first published many years later in 1878, you know, publicly in a conservative magazine and was then quoted in various anti-Semitic conspiracy texts. According to The Conversation, a nonprofit independent news organization, Simonini's letter marked the, quote,

starting point of a renewed debate about the role of Jews in European society, end quote. This letter is considered very influential in the publication of the Protocols of the Elders of Zion. This idea that a group of powerful Jewish people were trying to take over the world and control significant world events would soon become labeled the International Jewish Conspiracy, and this conspiracy has become widely popularized. In the 19th and early 20th century, increasing feelings of anti-Semitism took hold and spread

throughout Europe and Russia. The Jews are not not just outsiders but are dangerous plotters of world domination tens of thousands of jews are killed in anti-jewish riots called pogroms pogroms were normally perpetuated uh by local non-jews against jews in the community and they were often encouraged by or assisted by the government estimated that after the russian revolution in the early 20th century, there were over 1,300 pogroms in just Ukraine. From 1918 to 1921, an estimated 30,000 to 70,000 people killed in these riots. Almost half a million Ukrainian Jews left homeless. Also, nationalism is becoming popular across Russia and Europe in the 19th century. Nationalism is ideology based on the premise that individual's loyalty and devotion in the 19th century. Nationalism is ideology based on the premise that individual's loyalty and devotion to the nation state surpasses other individual or group

interests. Remember, many Jewish people, especially back then, deeply connected to each other because of their religious ideals and customs and due to the extreme discrimination and persecution and violence they faced. They generally did not assimilate into their nation's cultures, which now brought a lot of harsh criticism and suspicion against them in highly nationalistic countries, where it was especially not a good thing to be seen as the other, right?

Why aren't you fucking cheering beside us? Why aren't you waving the same flag? And due in large part to nationalism, antisemitism now becomes a racial issue rather than a religious issue. Nationalists did not want Jewish people to be part of their ethnically homogenous countries. Jews, maligned for so many centuries now, now just, uh, were not just viewed as followers of an inferior religion,

uh, they're viewed as an inferior race. Pseudoscientific theories start to gain traction and are used in countries where Jewish people will be made scapegoats for all kinds of societal problems. It becomes common for politicians to use antisemitism as a tool, low-hanging fruit, to gain shitty popular support. Now, let's begin to look at the protocols themselves. Also titled The Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion, the document purported to be a report of a series of 24 meetings held in Basel, Switzerland in 1897 at the time of the first Zionist Congress. First Zionist Congress is a real historical event, as I mentioned at the start of the show.

Theodor Herzl, who lived from 1860 to 1904, was the founder of Zionism, which was the movement to establish a Jewish homeland. A movement that would lead to the creation of the nation of Israel following World War II. Herzl, the first president of the World Zionist Organization in 1896, his pamphlet, The Jewish State, proposed that the Jewish question was a political question that should be settled by a council of nations. Herzl organized the World Congress of Zionists. They met in Basel, Switzerland in 1897, that August. Most of the Congress delegates were from Central and Eastern Europe and Russia, with a few others from Western Europe and the U.S. Present at the Congress were Orthodox Jews, but also atheists, businessmen, students. There were several hundred onlookers, including a number of Christians and international press reporters.

This was not a secret meeting. It was a very, very public meeting. The Congress lasted three days. Members agreed on a program called the Basel Program, which declared Zionism's aspiration to, quote, create a publicly guaranteed homeland for the Jewish people in Palestine. But according to the protocols of the elders of Zion, commonly abbreviated as the Protocols, well, this meeting went down very differently.

Jewish people and Freemasons made secret plans to disrupt Christian civilization and erect a world state under their joint rule. Liberalism and socialism were to be the means of subverting Christendom. If subversion failed, all the capitals of Europe were to be sabotaged. And the leaders of this alleged conspiracy were called the Eld elders of Zion. The protocols are thought to have been first printed in Russia in 1903 in the newspaper known as the banner. And then in 1905, the protocols, uh, really given wider circulation for the first time as an addendum to a religious tract about the imminent coming of the antichrist written by Sergei Nihilist, a czarist, civil servant, mystic, strident anti-Semite, and complete fucking wackadoodle.

The protocols were later translated to German, French, English, other languages, and soon became a classic staple of anti-Semitic literature. Just one year after the protocols were published throughout Europe, they were debunked as a plagiarism of a French satire and a German novel, and that the Russian secret police had something to do with its origin. But by then, the book had massive and far-reaching influence that ultimately spread around the entire globe. And most people who read it, just like I imagine most people who read it today

or read it today, don't know that it's been debunked. Eli Wiesel, a Nobel Peace Prize laureate and a Holocaust survivor, said about the protocols, if ever a piece of writing could produce mass hatred, it is this one. This book is about lies and slander. According to the U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum, the Protocols of the Elders of Zion is the most notorious and widely distributed anti-Semitic publication of modern

times. It lies about Jews, which have been repeatedly discredited, continue to circulate today, especially on the Internet. The individuals and groups who have used the protocols are all linked by a common purpose to spread hatred of Jews. And now it's timeline time where we look into the creation of the protocols of the elders of Zion. And despite how heavy this is, a lot of comedic moments, actually, and its impact on anti-Semitism in different parts of the world. Right after today's second mid-show sponsor break. Thanks for sticking around. And now I'll hit that timeline button. Strap on those boots, soldier. We're marching down a time suck timeline.

timeline. Backing up to 1864. That year, French political satirist Maurice Jolie wrote the Dialogue in Hell between Machiavelli and Montesquieu. The dialogue was meant to be an attack on the political ambitions of Napoleon III. The book does not mention Jewish people at all,

but its plagiarization will become the basis for the protocols of the elders of zion the french police uh later had joley tried and jailed for his pamphlet you don't fuck with napoleon even if it's the third napoleon who wasn't as powerful as the first in 1868 a prussian writer herman uh gucha publishes biarritz another book that will inspire the protocols of the elders of Zion. According to the Jewish Virtual Library, Gutsche was an anti-Semite and postal clerk and a spy for the Prussian secret police. Gutsche was forced to leave the postal work due to his part in forging evidence in the 1849 prosecution of Democratic leader Benedikt Waldek. Waldek!

Guy sounds like a real piece of shit real happy to throw innocent people under the bus he found Jolie's The Dialogue then writing under the name Sir John Redcliffe Guccia adapts The Dialogue into a story of a Jewish conspiracy in part of a series of novels titled Biarts

in one chapter titled Jewish Cemetery in Prague in the Council of Representatives in the 12 tribes of the 12 Tribes of Israel, Guccia wrote a fictional story about a secret conference of rabbis that met in the cemetery, of course, at midnight, yes, so evil, to review the events of the past century and make new plans. This work was translated into Russian in 1872. The chapter Council of Representatives was consolidated under the name Rabbi's Speech and was written in Russian in 1891. The exact origin of the protocol is unknown.

Most likely fabricated between 1895 and 1899 under the direction of Pyotr Arakovsky, chief of the Okhrana or the Russian police in Paris, secret police. Okhrana is the Russian police in Paris, secret police. Okhrana is a Russian acronym. In English, it means Department for Defense of Public Security and Order. Very Russian. The Okhrana were the pre-revolutionary Russian secret police. This organization will eventually morph into the KGB, the organization that made strong Russian pony boy Putin into steel of man he is today. This organization lasts from 1881 to 1917. The Okhrana was founded to combat political terrorism and left-wing revolutionary activity. The group infiltrated unions, political parties, sometimes newspapers, and they did this mostly domestically but also abroad.

Big propaganda and torture, guys. Sometimes we wrestle. Sometimes we stop for fun and make lies. What's this big deal? Not a good group of guys. Comrade Pyotr Rakovsky, based in Paris from 1885 to 1902. Many authors maintain that one of Rakovsky's agents in Paris, Matvey Golovinsky, authored the first edition of the Protocols of the Elders of Zion. Matvey Golovinsky authored the first edition of the Protocols of the Elders of Zion. Golovinsky lived from 1865 to 1920, was a Russian-French writer, journalist, and political activist. He came from an aristocratic family.

His father and friends, members of a literary discussion group of progressive-minded intellectuals who were sentenced to death at one point for basically not wanting Tsar Nicholas to be in charge anymore, but then pardoned and saved from death at the very last second. While studying law, Golovinsky joined an anti-Semitic counter-revolutionary group called the Holy Brotherhood. Undergraduation, or upon graduation, he worked for the Okhrana and arranged pro-government news coverage. The claim that Golovinsky wrote the Protocols was reinforced in recent years by modern Russian historian Mikhail Lepikhin.

In 1999, he studied the French archives in Moscow, which contained information supporting Golovinsky's authorship. In 2006, the New York Times reported that the release of Soviet-era files shed even more light on how the Protocols came to be. The files suggested that the book was indeed written by Golovinsky, and it was again determined that the sources he either plagiarized Or was inspired by or both Included the works of Guccia and Jolie New York Times critic Edward Rothstein wrote So a royalist Russian used the fantastical imaginings

Of a German and the anti-royalist text of a Frenchman Imitating the arguments of an Italian in order to defame Jews. Gotta say, those sneaky Russian secret police made a pretty good attempt to hide their sources. The original manuscript was brought to Russia in 1895, probably, and was privately used as a pamphlet, printed as a pamphlet, a warning about very dangerous and powerful satanic Jewish forces in 1897, but didn't get much distribution. The Okhrana used anti-Semitism to strengthen the power of Tsar Nicholas II, who was on shaky ground, and to discredit

dirty, weak, soft-as-fuck, woke-ass libs who expressed Jewish sympathy. Fuck what? You dipshits actually care about people who are different than you? People who are members of your culture or faith? What are you, some kind of humanist who practices compassion and empathy? Czar Nicholas II favored anti-Semitic politicians and rejected attempts to change anti-Jewish laws. Also supported the anti-Semitic and ultra-nationalist movement known as the Black Hundreds and other organizations formed in reaction to revolutionary forces, right? He's

trying to cling on to nationalism to stay in power. And the Jews are not a symbol of nationalism, so fuck them. From August through September of 1903, portions of the Protocols of the Elders of Zion are serialized in the Russian newspaper, The Banner. The Banner was based in St. Petersburg, Florida, ironically published by some retired Jewish men who spent most of their time playing golf, complaining about their children, asking their wives when supper's going to be ready, when not publishing their traitorous filth.

No, it was published in St. Petersburg, Russia, and established by the black hundreds journalist, Pavel Kuchovan. The Protocol is published in nine issues with the scary headline the jewish program of the conquest of the world imagine being jewish in saint petersburg at that time just seeing that headline right you're already on shaky ground and you see that and just have a sinking feeling in your stomach of this fucking oh a fucking vay again why can't they just leave us alone you know i have a i have a lot of jewish friends mostly because of working in comedy for

so long very high percentage of jewish comedians compared to the population overall and shit like this helps me understand a little bit at least in my head how they're able to survive in the tough business of stand-up most of my jew Jewish comic friends' sense of humor is real dark, sarcastic, cynical, and they have thick fucking skin, which you have to have to be a comic for very long. You have to be comfortable with rejection, having some crowds hate you, especially in the early years. As a people with all the rejection and persecution in their collective history, bombing on stage when no one's trying to kill you or run you out of town, they just don't think you're funny. That has to not be that big of a deal. That isn't shit compared to all this sad history. I just wonder if like on a DNA level somehow, the average Jewish person just has more grit and resilience because of their shared history than

many of the rest of us. Fucking tough ass people to survive all this shit. At the time of the publication of the Jewish program of the conquest of the world, Russia was highly politically unstable. The government and secret police trying to quell the coming revolution in 1905, which came about as a protest of Tsar Nicholas II. Nicholas II, as we went over a few times in the Suckverse previously, but it's been a while. Last Tsar of Russia, ruling from 1894 to 1917. Partnering up

with Rasputin didn't work out well for him and his family. Nicholas's reign was marked by the Russo-Japanese War, the first Russian revolution, World War I, and the 1917 Bolshevik revolution. Had a lot of fires. That's all he's trying to put out. And he was ultimately removed from the throne by the Bolsheviks. Jewish people in Russia hoped that Nicholas would be different from his father, who was more anti-Semitic than him. His father proposed classifying Jews into useful and non-useful categories, with severe repression against the non-useful people. He died before this could be finalized, but hundreds of anti-Jewish laws were passed during his reign. And that's right, hundreds.

Nicholas II came to believe Jewish people were behind the 1905 revolution. The 1905 revolution, characterized by massive political and social unrest, directed the Tsar and the upper classes. There were strikes, military mutinies. Tsar Nicholas forced to enact reforms with the state Duma, the lower house, the governing Senate, the multi-party system, and the 1906 constitution. The revolution was set off by Russia's defeat in the Russo-Japanese War. The Russo-Japanese War was a military conflict fought between the Russian Empire and the Empire of Japan from 1904 to 1905. Most of the fighting took place in modern northeastern China with navy battles around the Korean Peninsula. In the early 20th century, Russia was a world power, had large territories in Europe and Asia. In Asia, Japan was seen as a dominant country. The Russo-Japanese War would set the stage for World War I.

Some have called it World War Zero. Japan would win this war, but it lost a lot of money in the process. And Russia lost a lot of land and status. The Russian Empire was demoralized by the defeat, which increased anger at the monarchy and helped bolster the political dissent of the 1905 revolution. In response to this dissent,

the Union of the Russian Nation, aka the Black Hundreds, blamed the Jews for losing the war. It's their fault. And it's their fault for the subsequent dissent. All the riots, everything bad that's happening in the fucking world right now,

it's their fault. The protocols were published as a part of a propaganda campaign, right? Russia in propaganda, fucking hand in hand for so long, it's so sad. You know,

this propaganda campaign accompanied pogroms of 1905 inspired by the Okhrana, such as the 1905 pogrom of Odessa, Ukraine. Between the 18th and 22nd of october 1905 fucking an angry mob ethnic russians ukrainians also some greeks living there they kill over 400 jews damage or destroy over 1600 jewish properties also in 1905 some political protest in kishinev turned into violent anti-seemitic attacks where 19 Jewish people are murdered.

There were more pogroms in response to pro-revolution demonstrations in other cities. In Kiev, a city hall meeting led to riots, led to targeting Jewish people, led to 100 Jewish people being killed, roughly. December of 1905, the Protocols are published published again as I mentioned earlier this is their first wider publication as an appendix in the great in the small the coming of the antichrist and the rule of satan on earth by writer Sergei Nihilus and again I mean you heard the title holy fucking wackadoodle uh let me read you an excerpt from his super cool book how satan do not destruct destructive mother Russia. It is Jew. How many children get blood drank end up in grave dirt. It is Jew. How fly always end in bowl of mama borscht. Even when bowl dump out new bowl is poor from pot. there is new fly. How? It is Jew. How I never drank

more than three or one sip from vodka bottle. When full, I go bed. In morning, bottle empty. It is Jew. I don't know what he actually wrote. That book isn't actually a real fucking hot seller these days.

Long out of print. Like he printed it in 1905 and then I don't know. Hopefully by 1906 it was already out of print. Like he printed it in 1905 and then, I don't know. Hopefully by 1906 it was already out of print, but probably not. Sergei Alexandrovich Nihilist, born in 1862, died in 1929. He was a Russian religious writer, mystic, aggressive anti-Semite, and a czarist lapdog. Sergei was born to a landowning father and a noble mother. He studied law at the university

of moscow and was a magistrate in transca oh boy transcakeja a region south of the caucasus mountains that included uh georgia azerbaijan and armenia nihilist withdrew to his estate in the oral district located in western russia nihil was apparently, despite the title of his book, not particularly religious, just an opportunist. According to Michael Hagemeister's chapter in the book The Paranoid Apocalypse, a hundred-year retrospective on the protocols of the elders of Zion, Nihilus had always been indifferent to religion. Toward the end of the century, he succumbed to the apocalyptic mood that was spreading throughout the country. He thus joined those victims of rapid modernization and secularization who identified the downfall of their own world with the end of the world in general. Fucking doomsday paranoia. It's always been around, rampant over a century ago. Idiots

screaming about how the sky was falling back then, just like idiots scream about it now, ago. Idiots screaming about how the sky was falling back then, just like idiots screaming about it now. As convinced, the end is near. Just like so many are today and so many will be a hundred years from now and a hundred years further than that, but the world will probably just keep on spinning. Sergei's 1905 appendix is the version of the protocols that has been distributed as a standalone tract around the world and published in numerous languages ever since. And now let me share some real fucking wisdom nuggets some real very important if you don't want to be enslaved info

some translated passages from the protocols we're finally here a 1920 version called the jewish peril protocols of the learned elders of zion contains a translated introduction to the main text written by our fucking genius that we just went over, Sergey Nihilus. Here are some excerpts. A manuscript has been handed to me by a personal friend, now deceased, which with extraordinary precision and clearance, describes the plan and development of a sinister, worldwide conspiracy, describes the plan and development of a sinister, worldwide conspiracy,

having for its object that of bringing the unregenerate world to its inevitable dismemberment. This document came into my possession some four years ago, 1901, with the positive assurance that it is a true copy and translation of original documents stolen by a woman from one of the most influential and most highly initiated leaders of Freemasonry. The theft was accomplished at the close of a secret meeting

of the initiated in France. That nest of Jewish Masonic conspiracy. To those who would see and hear, I venture to reveal this manuscript under the title of The Protocols of the Elders of Zion. We cannot omit to remark that its title does not altogether correspond to its contents. There are not exactly minutes of meetings but a report made by some powerful person, divided into sections not always in logical sequence. They convey the impression of being the part of something threatening Okay, so there's that.

The FBI also released a lengthy PDF containing the protocols and other documents. The following are the translated first paragraphs. grounds, putting the nations at the mercy of our international agent tour, when our international rights of gold will wipe out all national rights. Of course they had to write gold in there, right? Another stereotype. What does the Jew crave? The gold! The gold above all else. They will gladly kill everyone you love for their precious Jew gold. Protocol 3. Our goal is only a few steps off. Soon, all the states of Europe will be locked in the coils of the snake, the symbol of our people. We have breathed terror into the palaces and made gulfs between the sovereign and the masses

of the people. We have stirred up every form of trouble. We have fomented all manner of disturbances. We have armed all parties and have made gladiatorial arenas of all states. A little more, and disorder and bankruptcy will be universal.

Soon, all institutions will be overthrown and everything will fly skyward under the blows of the maddened mob. How the fuck are so many people dumb enough to believe this cartoony shit? It makes me sad for humanity. Our symbol will be the snake. What kind of clandestine evil organization trying to stay secret picks that fucking symbol, that loaded symbol? We don't want people to know we are so

evil. So for our symbol, we shall choose a baby with a knife through its head. No, that's too on the nose. How about for our symbol, Satan with a pitchfork? No, still risks blowing our cover. What about a giant rat-faced Jewish caricature, but fucking baby Jesus? No, that's much worse. No, we'll go with the snake. No, just fucking pick a dove. Pick, I don't know, three fucking daisies, some flowers.

Two puppies snuggling up in a blanket. Not a snake. Come on. Protocol four. Gentile masonry secretly serves as a blind for us. And to the goyim cattle, its purpose is a mystery. Right, here's the Freemason shit, of course. Uh-huh.

Connect a fake secret society to a real one. A real one based in dudes just trying to network, learn some secret handshakes so they can feel cool and get away from their families and have some drinks. Right, now you get connected to a thing, people are like, oh yeah, I've heard of this secret society. Oh, this must be real. Protocol 5.

Our kingdom will be distinguished by a deputism of such magnificent proportions as to be at any moment in every place in a position to wipe out any goyim cattle who oppose by word or deed right they will rule the world and kill any gentile who opposes them uh yeah history really hasn't shown this to be true has it i mean four decades after this is written hitler was uh really fucking things up for the jewish people and they sure didn't use some Uh, yeah, history really hasn't shown this to be true, has it? I mean, four decades after this is written, Hitler was, uh, really fucking things up for the Jewish people. And they sure didn't use some magnificently proportioned depotism to destroy him, did they? Stop!

Protocol 6. We shall establish huge monopolies upon which the richest goyim cattle must depend so that all will go to the bottom and ruin when comes the political smash-up. shall establish huge monopolies upon which the richest goyim cattle must depend, so that all will go to the bottom and ruin when comes the political smash-up. Gentlemen, what a magnificent and significant combination that is! Protocol 7. In our government, besides ourselves, there must be only the mass of enslaved proletariat,

a few millionaires devoted entirely to us, police and soldiers. To do this, we must create ferments, discords and hostilities. Our intrigues must tangle up all threads and we must use all deceit, treachery and false as possible. Our greatest weapon, which is already in our hands, is the press. Fake news, fake news. Trying to get you to believe that the Jews don't already control control the world only going to allow a few gentile millionaires here's the top of the forbes 2023 world's richest people list number one uh bernard arnault 211 billion dollars not jewish number two elon musk 180 billion dollars not jewish actually got Not Jewish. Number two, Elon Musk, $180 billion. Not Jewish.

Actually got in trouble last week for agreeing with an anti-Semitic post on a social media platform that Jewish communities push hatred against whites. Number three, Jeff Bezos, worth $114 billion. Not Jewish. Number four, Larry Ellison, $170 billion. Is Jewish. But chose not to have a bar mitzvah because he doesn't believe in the religion. So he says. Number five, Warren Buffett, 106 billion, not Jewish. What? Four out of the five richest people at the time, right? This article is published Gentiles goyim. Uh, what's interesting

is if you look around a lot of conspiratorial websites will argue that those guys are secretly Jewish. They're trying to trick you. There's so much horrible shit, just fucking idiotic shit out there. And these websites have been influenced, whether directly or indirectly, by the old protocols of the elders of Zion.

Protocol 8. Goyim cattle. Sign papers without reading them. Only we, the Jews, are qualified to rule the world. We shall surround our government with economists, bankers, industrialists, capitalists, and the main thing, millionaires. For everything will be settled by gold. Uh, everyone signs papers without reading them. Protocol 9. Our weapons are limitless ambitions, burning greed, merciless vengeance, hatreds and malice.

Protocol 10. We shall establish one king over all the earth who will annihilate all causes of discord, such as frontiers, nationalities, religion, state debts, etc. And get peace and quiet, which cannot be secured in any other way. Huh. Uh, that's interesting about that protocol 10. Uh, they're real behind on that one. There's still a fuckload of frontiers,

nationalities, religions, et cetera, in the world. Also, I want to hear more about this peace and quiet part. I might be in favor of a Jewish global takeover. If they,

if somebody can finally ensure some goddamn peace and quiet it sounds pretty good. Protocol 11 The Goyim cattle are like a flock of sheep and we are the wolves. Secret masonry is not known to and its aims are not as much as suspected by the Goyim cattle

attracted by us into the show army of Masonic lodges in order to throw dust in the eyes of their fellows. Protocol 12. We shall, of course, absolutely control the press so that not a single announcement will ever reach the public without our control. Attacks upon us will be organs established by us

for our own underhanded purposes. No longer will be the masses be misled by the fantasies about the blessings of liberty and progress. In this way, we shall have a sore, a sure triumph over our opponents for without the press, they are helpless. Almost said Meisled instead of misled.

Again, in case you're wondering, even though I wrote a pronunciation guide, I still almost said Meisled. Also, we already know that the press is being controlled right the elder starting to have some senior moments starting to repeat himself and i just love like if you're secret organization and you want to like you know you know secretly take over the world and do this like devious shit that you actually would write stuff in your notes for our own underhanded purposes. Nobody fucking does that, but like bad characters in movies.

No, once I get a meeting, what do you want to do? I want to do some underhanded. We will complete underhanded treachery. People who are committing treachery, I fucking doubt are ever like calling it treachery. Do you want to commit some treachery? Do you want to commit some treachery? Do you want to do some underhanded, dastardly deeds today? What is this, fucking Cobra Commander again from G.I. Joe? Protocol 13.

The need for their daily straw and sawdust will keep the Goyim cattle from mooing. Or perhaps bellowing in protest. Sheeple. Protocol 14. cattle from mooing or perhaps bellowing in protest sheeple protocol 14 we must sweep away all religions but our own the religion of moses given to us the chosen people man they're really fucking up to sweeping away other religions part of their master plan did the author of the propaganda not understand how fucking hard it is to become jewish didn't uh look into the numbers also i love goyim cattle that's a really fun term protocol 15 fucking hard it is to become Jewish. Didn't look into the numbers. Also, I love Goyim cattle. That's a really fun term. Protocol 15.

We shall slay without mercy all of our opponents. We shall kill all members of all secret societies, and even all the Goyim cattle masons who have served as blindly non-nefarious schemes and plots will be shot or exiled. Also way behind on this part of the plan. I know quite a few Goyim cattle masons.

I was recently invited to become part of the Fraternal Order of Eagles. They have a bar. They have a nice bar and a great location here in town. Is that going to get me killed? Am I going to walk in in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho to this little fucking old man bar

of the Eagles and just hear somebody shout? My last thing I'll hear is I like walk to the bathroom. Go ahead and cattle. And then those fucking die. Go ahead and cattle. Okay. Protocol 16. The officials and professors of universities will be governed by detailed secret programs.

And the schools will not send forth any more milksops with ideas of liberty, equality, and progress. Fucking milksops, bro! Just wanted to say that. Protocol 17. We have long past taken care to discredit the priesthood and to ruin their mission on Earth

so that now only years divide us from the moment of the complete wrecking of that Christian religion. Eh, Catholic Church, still doing pretty fucking well. Still doing pretty well, even with all the scandals, still, you know,

a lot more Catholic churches than there are synagogues. Protocol 18. We have compelled the rulers to acknowledge their weakness in advertising overt measures of secret defense, and thereby we shall bring the promise of authority to destruction. Protocol 19.

We have done our best, and I hope we have succeeded. Through the press and in speeches, we have advertised our martyrdom. This has brought thousands of goyim into our ranks of livestock cattle. Martyrdom? Is this elder saying that all the pogroms, all part of the master plan, got to sacrifice a lot of our own so, you know, people think we're weak

when really we're the fucking strongest, right? While all these, you know, innocent Jewish people are dying, it's all part of the master plan so the elders can rise, right? Cue ignorant Holocaust deniers quoting this dumb shit. Protocol 20. You are aware that the gold standard has been the ruin of the states which adopted it, for it has not

been able to satisfy the demands for money. The more so that we have taken gold from circulation as much as possible. Protocol 21. We have taken advantage of the Goyim cattle governments to get our monies twice, thrice, and more times over by lending money that was not at all needed. Protocol 22. In our hands is the greatest power of our day, gold. In two days we can procure from our storehouses any quantity we may please. Surely there is no need to seek further proof that our rule is predestined by

God where's all this fucking gold massive storehouses did Hitler find those if he did I'm pretty sure he would have bragged about them a lot so I don't I'm gonna say they don't exist protocol 23 we shall improve morals prevent unemployment

and prohibit drunkenness there's a left turn I didn't expect there that was very different tone for that protocol 223. We shall improve morals, prevent unemployment, and prohibit drunkenness. Oh, there was a left turn I didn't expect there. That was a very different tone for that protocol. I mean, that part sounds pretty nice. That's a fucking real weird twist. And another thing. In addition to enslaving humanity and bringing about eternal suffering,

we shall also make sure everyone has pretty good jobs and not be drunk and stuff so that they can be more present and show up for their families in a better way. Like, what? Protocol 24. Hail the root of King David. Only the king and the three sponsors will know what is coming. That's it. I try to, you know, build it up, but it kind of ends with a whimper, that last thing.

The whole protocol, they started strong and then kind of faded out. In the epilogue, Nihilist wrote, these minutes were stealthily removed from a large book of notes on lectures. My friend found them in the safes at the headquarter offices of the Society of Zion, which is at present situated in France. According to the records of secret Jewish Zionism, Solomon and other Jewish learned men already in 929 BC thought out a scheme in theory for a peaceful conquest

of the whole universe by Zion. Wow. Back in 929 BC, they put this plan together. Holy shit. Has it not been working out? Like really not been working out. The elders, they gotta be disappointed. He continues, as history developed, this scheme was worked out in detail and completed by men who

were subsequently initiated in this question these learned men decided by peaceful means to conquer the world for zion with the slyness of the symbolic serpent whose head was to represent the initiated into the plan to the jewish administration and the body of the serpent to represent the jewish people the administration was the body of the serpent to represent the Jewish people. The administration was always kept secret, even from the Jewish nation itself. It's a secret society within a secret society. As this serpent penetrated into the hearts of the nations

which it encountered, it got under and devoured all the non-Jewish power of these states. It is foretold that the snake has to finish its work, strictly adhering to the design plan until the course which it has to run is closed by the return of its head to zion and until by this means the snake has completed its round of europe and has encircled it and until by dint of uh enchaining europe it has encompassed the whole world this it is to accomplish by using every endeavor to subdue the

other countries by an economical conquest the return of the head of the serpents to Zion can only be accomplished after the power of all the sovereigns of Europe has been laid low. That is to say, when by means of economic crises and wholesale destruction affected everywhere, there shall have been brought about a spiritual demoralization and a moral corruption, chiefly with the assistance of Jewish women masquerading as French, Italians, etc. These are the surest spreaders of licentiousness into the lives of the leading men at the heads of nations.

Hail Lucifena. These Jewish women, temptresses, they sound fucking fantastic. There are so many beautiful Jewish women. I can say that about, you know, any group of women, any class of, you know, group of women, whatever, whatsoever. You know, I just know uh you have so much more to offer than just your looks ladies but also so very glad you look the way

you do leah michelle kat dennings bar raffaelli scarlett johansson me lacuna's on and on great hair great curves great eyes great smiles great lady stuff okay back to this dipshit loser now it will soon be four years since the protocols of the elders of Zion have been in my possession. God alone knows how numerous have been the unsuccessful attempts which I have made in order to bring them to light or even to warn those who are in power and reveal them the causes of the storm which hangs over apathetic Russia, who seems unfortunately to have lost all count of what is going on around her. And only now when I fear that it is too late, have I succeeded in publishing my work. Oh, this person's so brave

in the hope that I may be able to warn those who still have ears to hear and eyes to see. There is no room left for doubt with all the might and terror of Satan. The reign of the triumphant King of Israel is approaching our unregenerate world the king born of the blood of zion the antichrist is near to the throne of universal power uh-huh uh by 1917 nihilist had published four editions of this shit book in russia the tone reminds me of just like this modern nonsense like this fucking david ike bullshit it's like it's always they're so brave right uh risking great peril to themselves uh they they publish you know this secret information about this nefarious group who's about to take over the world please listen to me please buy my book it's so important and go fuck yourself

uh in a classic bullshit artist uh sense you know each edition of this book would uh would contain a different account of how this guy found the original document for example the 1911 edition he claimed that he's his source stole the document from a zionist headquarters in france uh headquarters that never existed other editors of the book said the document was read at the first zionist congress in 1897 so which was it the intent of the protocols was to at the first Zionist Congress in 1897. So which was it? The intent of the protocols was to portray Jews as conspirators against the Russian state, as I went over, and then I went on, of course, to do so much more. 1917, the Russian Revolution overthrew the imperial government and put the Bolsheviks in power.

The revolution was a response to government corruption, Tsar Nicholas's policies, and Russia's losses in World War I. We've talked about this revolution and the Stalin suck, the Rasputin suck, and more. Rioting over food scarcity broke out in Petrograd, now St. Petersburg, in February. When the Russian army joined the rebels, Nicholas and his family abdicated. Provisional government was appointed in March. Russia tried to continue fighting the war, but the Petrograd workers' Soviet council favored withdrawal. Other Soviets formed in major cities and towns, but the movement was dominated by the Socialist Revolutionary Party,

then the Mensheviks, and then the Bolsheviks. By September of 1917, the Bolsheviks, led by Vladimir Lenin, achieved majorities in Petrograd and Moscow, Moscow Soviets, and had support among urban workers and soldiers. In October, the Bolsheviks staged a coup by occupying government buildings and strategic points. Afterwards, the Congress of Soviets approved a new government composed mainly of Bolsheviks. After the Russian Revolution, anti-Bolshevik immigrants took the protocols of the elders of Zion abroad. New editions circulated around Europe, the U.S., South America, Japan, more. In the 1920s, a version of the book was

published in Arabic. As more people learned about the supposed Jewish plan for world domination, the idea of a Judeo-communist conspiracy spread globally. After the Bolshevik Revolution, the white armies, counter-revolutionary groups, used the protocols to incite slaughter of Jewish people across Russia. Propaganda was spread to associate the Bolsheviks with being Jewish, linking Zionism to communism, but that is not true. While you can find websites that claim up to 75% of the Bolsheviks were Jewish, real number was between 5 and 6%. Lenin had 25% Jewish heritage, but was not raised Jewish in any way. He likely also probably did not know he had a Jewish grandparent.

Apparently, they did not talk about it. I mean, I wonder why. Stalin, not Jewish. Leon Trotsky was Jewish, but never considered himself Jewish in a religious sense. Never wrote Yiddish. Didn't keep kosher. Never entered a synagogue. Far more Gentiles, far, far, far more in the Bolsheviks than Jews.

Moving ahead to 1920 now, the first non-Russian edition of the Protocols, published in Charlottenburg, Germany, titled The Secrets of the Wise Men of Zion. Hitler will end up reading it, beating off to it. You know what? Who knows? That same year, the book was published in Poland, France, England, and the U.S. You know what? Who knows? That same year, the book was published in Poland, France, England, and the U.S. These editions of the book blame the Russian Revolution on Jewish conspirators. The Jewish peril protocols of the learned elders of Zion, then published in London in 1920. In the 1920s, British correspondents Robert Wilton, the London Times, and Victor Mardsen, the Morning Post, they lean on this publication to promote the idea of a Jewish conspiracy in Britain. There were 18 articles on the world domination conspiracy and protocols published in the Morning Post. Martinson translated the protocols into English and wrote in his introduction, The Jews are carrying it out with steadfast purpose,

creating wars and revolutions to destroy the white Gentile race, and the Jews may seize the power during the resulting chaos and rule with their claimed superior intelligence over the Jews may seize the power, during the resultant chaos, and rule with their claimed superior intelligence over the remaining races of the world as kings over slaves. Right, just more fake news. You know, clearly not a recent invention. Boris Brazel, former czarist prosecutor, then first publicized the protocols in the U.S. Brazel participated in the prosecution of Jewish factory superintendent, Menahem Mendel Beelis, who was accused of the ritual murder of a 13-year-old boy

and ultimately acquitted because it was a bunch of bullshit. First U.S. edition of the Protocols was titled The Protocols and World Revolution, including a translation and analysis of the Protocols and the Medians of the Zionist Men of Wisdom. Henry Ford read it. Oh, Henry. Oh, Hank, you brilliant industrialist. And also you incredibly,

like aggressively anti-Semitic fuck face. American industrialist, Henry Ford, founder of the Ford Motor Company. One of the many people who responded to the alleged conspiracy. Henry Ford, born in 1863, grew up during a time when millions of Jewish people

were immigrating to the US from Europe, you know, trying not to get slaughtered and shit. And Henry fucking hated them. Ford was a bit of a control freak, not a real tolerant man, known for trying to Americanize immigrants. He was very controlling of his employees, based wage increases on whether or not his employees

were living a Ford-approved lifestyle. This included things like having their wives stay at home, which I do agree with. Could you ladies, please fucking submit just a little subservience. Is all us righteous patriarchs like Henry Ford are asking? Is it really so much? Please stop having your own thoughts and hopes and dreams, right? Unless of course those hopes and dreams are our hopes and dreams for you because we know better. Ford also wanted his employees to, by the way, I love that some of you are sending messages to Lindsay now asking her to submit. Looking kills us both. Ford also wanted his employees to avoid drinking and gambling and contributing to a savings account.

Ford even established a sociological department within the company to inspect his employees' homes. Wow. Ford made English school compulsory for his employees because he thought they should abandon their own languages and cultural practices. You can see how that's not working out well for the Jewish people. During graduation ceremonies, workers dressed in traditional clothing from their cultures walked behind a stage built in the shape of a melting pot and emerged wearing a suit and tie. Ditch those wooden shoes, DeGroot. Lose that sombrero, Garcia. Shut the fuck up with the hoingy-boingy oof-da already, Berman.

This is America. In America, you do what soulless corporate leaders tell you to fucking do. Ford was just so crazy, like outside of work. You have to like, you better be dressing like I want to dress when you're home. Ford was considered progressive for hiring black employees and paying them similar wages to white employees. But he created segregation within the company by only hiring black employees for the most dangerous jobs and not allowing them to advance to, you know, better positions in the company.

So like kind of, but not at all progressive. and not allowing them to advance to better positions in the company. So like kind of, but not at all progressive. Hello. We love our black Americans here at Ford. See that machine over there where you have to sneak your arm into the opening and tighten those three nuts before the big heavy piece of metal slams the opening shut? And if you don't pull your arm out in time, it will literally crush every bone in your arm, and you'll be lucky to make it to the surgeon's table and have it cut off before bleeding out and dying. That will be your job, friend. It's the only job we have right now for black Americans. We care so much about. There's another position where you have to climb into a

furnace and clear out the material that just won't burn before someone turns the furnace on, but that position is currently taken. You gotta be be real fast for that job because the guy who controls turning the furnace back on, holy fuck is he super sadistic and racist. Ford opposed labor unions, described them as a global Jewish conspiracy. There actually is a connection between U.S. labor unions and Judaism in the early days of labor unions in the U.S. Many of the leaders were Jewish. Which makes sense.

For a people so routinely shit on. And exploited and demonized. You know I'm not surprised that many Jews fought for the little guy. To not be trampled. Ford believed Jewish people controlled. Not only labor unions though. But can you guess? Banks and the media. This part not nearly as true.

This part comes straight from the same conspiratorial narratives as, you know, the ones pushed by the protocols. He believed they were against him and his company, and he spread so much propaganda to vilify them. In 1918, Ford purchased the Dearborn Independent, his hometown newspaper. And from May of 1918 to October of 1920, And from May of 1918 to October of 1920, Ford published a weekly series titled The International Jew, The World's Foremost Problem on the front fucking page. My God, that is direct. I'm sorry. What is this series of articles about? The world's most foremost problem, which, of course, is the international Jew.

Not even like one of the world's biggest problems. You know even like one of the world's biggest problems you know not one of the world's worst problems no public enemy number one foremost problem in the world so much anger before to have some kind of personal association with some you know jewish person that he just never told anybody about did like a did a handsome jewish fella uh ride his mom's bike off a fucking cliff maybe trying try and do a backflip, wreck it, you know, leave it a ditch. That hateful series, it ran for a total of 91 issues. Yeah. Distribution in the tens of thousands. My God. His writers really had a lot to say about the Jews of the world with 91 articles. The Dearborn Independent was distributed in Ford car dealerships. Articles then not even done when it was all done. Then all the articles bound into four volumes,

nice hardback edition titled the international Jew and around 500,000 copies distributed to dealerships and subscribers. Wow. I'm picturing a real fucked up like job application process for Ford. Like they just ask you one question at the interview. Okay. Here's the question to question at the interview. Uh, okay. Uh, here's the question to fill in the blank. Uh, the only good Jew is a blank Jew. Uh, um, nice. Get the fuck out of here.

They'll love you. General Motors next applicant. Oh, um, hard, hard, hard working. Fuck off. You take that shit to Chrysler. Ah, I feel, I feel weird. I feel weird saying this out loud. Um, hard, hard, hardworking. Fuck off. You take that shit to Chrysler. Ah, I feel, I feel weird. I feel weird saying this out loud. Um, is, is the answer dead? Bingo, bingo, you're hired. If you would have said that more assertively, you'd be vice president. Fuck it, unreal. A few months after the terrible series starts, uh, Ford's operatives introduce him to a Russian woman who shows him a copy of the protocols. Ford gives the book to his editor. You know, he's like, ha ha, here's something good for you. Run it. They publish it.

Soon after Ford gives the propaganda, a massive adrenaline shot. The International Jew is translated into more than 12 languages, spreads around the world more than ever. Both Adolf Hitler and Joseph Goebbels, Nazi head of propaganda, personally praised Henry Ford

for publishing the International Jew. Some fans. Luckily, Henry is dead. And I can feel good about driving my F-150 and being jealous of guys driving Ford Raptors. And I've come around to the new Bronco. I really like it. Mark Fields, Ford CEO from 2014 to 2017.

Jewish. Thank Yahweh. Times have changed in a very good way at Ford. Back to when things were terrible. Adolf Hitler referenced Ford in Mein Kampf. Hitler said about Ford, You can tell Herr Ford that I'm a great admirer of his. I shall do my best to put

his tears into practice in Germany. I regard Henry Ford as a great inspiration. What the fuck? Oh, 1938, Germany even awarded Ford the Grand Cross of the German Eagle, their highest medal at the time for foreigners. Ford awarded the medal for his humanitarian ideals

and devotion to the cause of peace, you know, like Germany's Fuhrer and Chancellor have done. Is that why he got the award? Or was it mostly because he just shared Hitler's hatred of Jews? Ford's name even mentioned during the post-World War II Nuremberg trials, 1946, Baldur von Schrock, former youth leader of the National Socialist German Students League said, the decisive anti-Semitic book,

which I read at that time and the book which influenced my comrades was Henry Ford's book, The International Jew. In those days, this book made such a deep impression on my friends and myself because we saw in Henry Ford, the representative of success. In poverty stricken and wretched Germany of the time, youth looked toward America. And apart from the great benefactor, Herbert Hoover, it was Henry Ford who to us represented America. Man, you gotta be responsible with your platform. Holy fuck, what a legacy. Might have to properly suck Henry Ford someday. He did do a lot of amazing stuff,

but also obviously some real disgusting shit. Didn't realize he was quite that anti-Semitic. Shifting focus to other parts of the world, the Protocols published in Polish in 1920. That year, Arabs in Palestine and Syria referenced the Protocols to cause resentment against Jewish settlers in Palestine and Syria referenced protocols to cause resentment against Jewish settlers in Palestine and suggested that the establishment

of a Jewish state in Palestine would advance the international Jewish conspiracy. Uh-oh. Well, that part has happened. A little part of it. Also, that makes conspiracies go, ha ha, I told you. Also in 1920, Lucian Wolfe,

British journalist and diplomat, exposed the protocols as plagiarism in the Jewish bogey and the forged protocols of the learned elders of Zion. Anti-Semites around the world didn't give a shit. Whatever Illuminati shill,

look who's bought and paid for, folks. Enjoy your golden shekels. Hope your soul's worth whatever they gave you. 1921, New York Herald reporter Herman Bernstein publishes The History of a Lie, The Protocols of the Wise Men of Zion, a study by Herman Bernstein. In it, Bernstein declared the protocols a cruel and terrible lie invented for the purpose of defaming the entire Jewish people. This is the first time the

protocols were exposed as a fraud in the U.S. And again, anti-Semites did not fucking care. Kind of like certain conspiracy theorists don't care today. Doesn't matter what facts you present. Cognitive dissonance, much more powerful in the conspiratorial mind than reason is. From August 16th through the 18th, 1921, journalist Philip Graves exposed the protocols as plagiarism again in a series of articles published in the London Times. New York Times reported that an investigation disclosed that a complete copy of the plagiarized material was held in the British Museum. The original book was titled, as we said before, Dialogue in Hell Between Machiavelli and Montesquieu by Maurice Jolie, a lawyer and publicist. The writer claimed he received the old French book from a man named Mr. X. Mr. X told him, read this book through and you will find irrefutable proof that the

Protocols is a plagiarism. Mr. X was reportedly a Russian landowner with English connections. He studied the Protocols, investigated whether any occult Masonic organizations like the ones mentioned in the book existed in Russia. He purchased old books from a former officer of the Okhrana in Constantinople where he fled as a refugee. One of the books was a small French volume missing the title page, but the leather backing had the word Jolie printed on it and the preface was dated October 15th, 1864. Mr. X noticed a similarity between a passage in that book and a phrase in the French edition of the Protocols. He soon realizes that the Protocols largely paraphrase the French book. Graves directly compared passages from Jolie's work to the Protocols to prove it was plagiarized.

Investigations later revealed that one chapter from the 1868 novel, Biarritz by Hermann Gutsche, also inspired the Protocols protocols. The protocols became a major part of Nazi propaganda nonetheless in the 1920s and 30s. Nazi party member Alfred Rosenberg, odd name for a Nazi, introduced Adolf Hitler to the protocol sometime in the early 1920s. Hitler directly referred to the book in some of his early speeches. Throughout his career, he spread the myth that Jewish Bolshevists were trying to control the world. Right? Just a bunch of bullshit. Hitler blamed Jews for Germany's economic struggles in the 20s.

Easy scapegoat. He used the protocols to justify his legislation against Jewish people and to suppress opposition to the Third Reich. 1923, Alfred Rosenberg wrote the Protocols of the Elders of Zion and Jewish World Policy, which reached a wide audience. It was printed three times that year. wrote The Protocols of the Elders of Zion and Jewish World Policy, which reached a wide audience. It was printed three times that year. The Nazi Party published at least 23 editions of the book between 1919 and 1939. After the Nazis' seizure of power in 1933, some schools even used the book as part of their curriculum to indoctrinate students. 1924, Benjamin Siegel, German Jewish journalist, exposed The Protocols as a forgery. Again, in the book, the protocols of the elders of Zion critically illuminated. It's a good title.

But again, you know, no one wanted, you know, or anybody who wanted to believe the lies, you know, didn't care. That same year, Joseph Goebbels, Nazi minister of public enlightenment and propaganda, wrote in his diary, I believe that the protocols of the wise men of Zion are a forgery. However, I believe in the intrinsic, but not the factual truth of the protocols. That's even more fucked up. Who cares? This is all made up. You know, it is true that this didn't happen, but equivalent stuff has happened for sure.

They do think this might as well be true. Based on the other propaganda and slander I've read. Also public enlightenment. Funny to add the word enlightenment to the name of a propaganda department. How sad that that kind of shit so easily fools so many people. Lies? No, they're not spreading lies. They're spreading enlightenment. Are you illiterate? It says so right in their name. In Mein Kampf, Hitler wrote, To what an extent the whole existence of this people is based on a continuous lie is shown by the protocols of the wise men of Zion, so infinitely hated by the Jews.

For once this book has become the common property of a people, the Jewish menace may be considered as broken. Meanwhile, back and forth. Henry was writing about how much he wanted Hitler to come on his face while they both screamed about the Jews. Yes, Aryan daddy, reign your superior non-Jew, come upon me, impregnate my face

and a great beast will be born who will destroy the elders. Sorry, I just wanted to shock you for a second. Make sure you're still paying attention. Someone might get massively cumming lot by that little moment. Here's what was really going on with Hanky Goy. His dearborn independent stopped

printing anti-Semitic slander in 1927, but not because he suddenly became enlightened. No, only because a Jewish farm cooperative organizer named Aaron Shapiro sued Ford for libel. Actually the third man to do so, the first to take him to trial. The judge would declare a mistrial after Ford allegedly staged a car accident so he could hide out in a hospital instead of fucking face the court. Then Ford would settle with Shapiro out of court for an undisclosed sum.

Jewish leaders now call for a boycott of Ford's vehicles. Then the chairman of the American Jewish Committee negotiates an agreement with Ford where he publicly announces that no more articles reflecting on the Jews will be published in the paper. On July 27th, 1927, Henry Ford issues a public apology for publishing the protocols and admits the protocols are gross forgeries. Did he do that because he felt bad or because, you know, not doing that would be bad for business? We'll never know. Also, too little, too fucking late. You know, not doing that would be bad for business. We'll never know. Also, too little, too fucking late.

One public apology does not take back 91 fucking straight weekly issues containing wildly anti-Semitic articles in a series called The International Jew, the world's foremost problem for several years, and then binding that all into a big fucking four-volume set called The International Jew, printed a half million times, and having it published in a dozen languages

and reprinted more times all over the world. Millions and millions and millions of people read Ford's lies. How many people do you think heard his apology? A couple hundred thousand? Tops? And how many of those people thought he probably only apologized because the elders of Zion got to him. They threatened his livelihood. Henry said he was mortified to learn the book was fake.

Claimed he was fully aware of the virtues of the Jewish people. Uh-huh. And offered his future friendship and goodwill. Yeah. And then, which is why this really reads as bullshit to me, blames his assistant and editor for printing those articles. Wait, wait, what? We ran 91 separate issues. 91 91 straight issues getting people worked up about

the jews enough so they didn't want to kill him seriously oh wow wow wow wow i'm gonna ring pd's neck oh pd damn it i need to find myself a new assistant i i had no idea that he was doing that every week on the front page of my paper for fucking two years uh the dearborn independent closed that same year uh-huh ford directed the remaining copies of the international jew to be burned and ordered overseas publishers to stop publishing the book but his directions were ignored and damage was done and did he like you know give a whole bunch of his money to like the jewish cause to like help people, you know, who are being persecuted in Germany. Uh, no. 1958, Gerald L.K.

Smith, an American preacher edited and published in a bridge version of the international Jew, right? Bringing that shit back barely a decade after the Holocaust. Hmm. What a pile of shit. Uh, this contained one of the most common additions of the protocols in the

U S for years and years. And what would become, you know, years and years going forward. Gerald, an Arkansas preacher died April 15th, 1976, born in 1898 in Wisconsin, came from four generations of hardcore fundamentalist preachers. He was described by the New York Times as being anti-black, anti-Semitic, anti-Catholic, and pro-fascist.

He sounds super fun. I bet he'd be a real hoot to hang out with at parties. Google him if you want to know, you know, what a high and mighty hate-mongering asshat looks like. Very punchable face. In the 1920s, Smith became a well-known pastor in Indianapolis. Several churches wanted him as their pastor. He eventually moved to Shreveport, Louisiana. There, Smith transitioned from a poor fundamentalist preacher to a wealthy business owner who would own homes in Los Angeles,

Oklahoma, and Arkansas. His followers paid hundreds of thousands of dollars for his insane writings. It's fucking drivel. I love this. Smith actually ran for president of the U.S. with the America First Party in 1944. And he just, he wasn't, he wasn't quite successful. He came up like just short of winning. He received a grand total nationwide of just under 1800 votes. That is fucking great. FDR won with 25,612,916 votes.

Just fucking edged past him. Smith was known for opposing Franklinlin d roosevelt in the 30s and 40s i'm guessing fdr barely knew his fucking name if at all 1947 smith organized the christian nationalist crusade of the right-wing groups the christian nationalists called for the deportation of zionist the disillusion of the jewish gestapo organizations whatever those are the forced shipment of black people to africa and the liquidation of the un uh they were kind of like the og proud boys just as dumb more hateful smith also owned a monthly magazine called the cross and the flag where he shared his shitty beliefs decades later smith said he was proud of his hateful views only expressing regret that quote so many millions of my fellow

americans just don't like me. Yeah, I'm glad that guy's dead. 1935, a Swiss court finds two Nazi leaders for circulating the German addition to the protocols in Switzerland, what became known as the Bern trial. I went over at the very beginning of the episode, located in Bern, Switzerland. Justice Walter Meyer declared the protocols libelous and obvious forgeries. The Swiss Federation of Jewish Communities and the Bernese Jewish Community sued the Swiss National Front, a far-right nationalist organization for distributing anti-Jewish propaganda. The trial got international coverage and was also important

because evidence was presented in court showing the book was a fabrication. The judge wrote, as I read it at the start of the episode, I hope that one day there will come a time when no one will any longer comprehend how in the year 1935, almost a dozen fully sensible and reasonable men could for 14 days torment their brains before a court of burn over the authenticity or lack of authenticity of these so-called protocols that for all the harm they have already caused and may yet cause are nothing but ridiculous nonsense and they'll cause so much more so much more harm after this still waiting sadly for a time you know when they're when they're not causing harm in august of 1964 a subcommittee of the u.s senate judiciary committee issues a report titled the protocols of the elders of zion a fabricated historic document the senate concluded

the subcommittee believes that the peddlers of the protocols are peddlers of un-American prejudice who spread hate and dissension among the American people. By the end of the following month, September of 1964, not a single person in America mindlessly hated Jews anymore. And it's been that way ever since. Of course not. I don't think it did much good. Unfortunately, the type of person who believes that a secret cabal of Jewish leaders controls the fate of humanity, not going to be the type of person to trust the government, but still good on the Senate committee. 1985, skipping ahead, an English edition of the Protocols published by the Islamic Propagation Organization in Iran. The first Arabic version of the Protocols to become popularized.

Published way back in 1951, written by Muhammad Khalifa al-Tunizi. Book can still be found online. Excuse meifa Al-Tunizi, book can still be found online. Excuse me, Al-Tunizi, not all. Al-Tunizi offered an explanation for why he translated that edition into English saying, I do not warn against the Jewish danger because they are fighting against my people. And not because they carved Israel out of Palestine and in doing so became a neighboring enemy. And not because they are situated right in the midst of our own countries. But I warn against their danger to mankind, too. Even if all of that belongs to my motives for paying attention to this danger, I still warn against their danger to mankind. Even if they were expelled from our countries to any spots of land, wherever they were,

they were enemies to mankind. Man, what a great guy Tunisian is. He's not telling everyone that the Jews are a plague on humanity because, you know, they're bothering him personally. He's not doing it for selfish reasons. He just, it's very altruistic. He's just trying to get the word out. He's just trying to save humanity from the elders. That's all. According to the Anti-Defamation League, between 1965 and

1967, around 50 Arabic books on political subjects either directly quoted the protocols or were actually based on the protocols. Later in 1980, the Jordanian delegate to the UN spoke about the protocols as if they were a real historical document and not propaganda. In October of 1987, the Iranian embassy in Brazil circulated copies of the book, and the South Americans said, it belongs to the history of the world. In the U.S., the Muslim student associations at Wayne State University in Michigan and at the University of California at Berkeley

also spread the protocols. The protocols also referenced in the Charter of Hamas, defined by the Council on Foreign Relations as a militant movement and one of the Palestinian territory's two major political parties. Hamas governs about 2 million Palestinians in the Gaza Strip. Hamas, mostly known for armed resistance against Israel. Dozens of countries have designated Hamas a terrorist organization, including the U.S. in 1997. Iran gives Hamas material and financial support, and Turkey reportedly harbors some of the leaders. The rival party Fatah controls the Palestinian liberation organization and rules in the West Bank. Fatah has renounced violence. Hamas is an acronym for Islamic Resistance Movement, founded by Ahmed Yusin, a Palestinian

cleric. In December of 1987, Yusin established Hamas as the Brotherhood's political arm in Gaza. Hamas was founded at the start of the First Infitada, which was a Palestinian uprising against Israeli occupation of the West Bank, Gaza, and East Jerusalem. Hamas was supposed to counter Palestinian Islamic Jihad, an organization that used violence to resist Israel. And Hamas published their charter, their covenant in 1988. And I brought them up here because article 32 of the Hamas covenant references the protocols of the elders of Zion. The first two paragraphs state, world Zionism together with its imperialistic powers, try through a studied plan and an intelligent strategy to remove one Arab state

after another from the circle of struggle against Zionism in order to have it finally face the Palestinian people only. Egypt was, to a great extent, removed from the circle of the struggle through the treacherous Camp David Agreement. They are trying to draw other Arab countries into similar agreements and to bring them outside the circle of struggle. The Islamic resistance movement calls on Arab and Islamic nations to take up the line of serious and preserving action to prevent the success of this horrendous plan to warn the people of the danger emanating from leaving the circle of struggle against Zionism. Today it is Palestine. Tomorrow it will be one country or another. The Zionist plan is limitless. After Palestine, the Zionists

aspire to expand from the Nile to the Euphrates. When they will have digested the region they overtook, they will aspire to further expansion and so on. Their plan is embodied to the Euphrates. When they will have digested the region they overtook, they will aspire to further expansion and so on. Their plan is embodied in the protocols of the elders of Zion, and their present conduct is best proof of what we are saying. The Hamas covenant asserts that Jewish people are behind the French and Russian revolutions, the Freemasons, rotary clubs, imperialism, world wars, the UN, the drug trade, and even alcoholism. I'm surprised by alcoholism. That's a Jewish conspiracy? But in the protocols, it says they're going to get rid of drunkenness.

That's one of the best parts of the protocols, right? Protocol 23, prohibiting drunkenness. Which is it, elders? Are you promoting drunkenness or prohibiting it? 1993, the protocols declared it as a fraud in a Moscow court. Listen, maybe we take a Jew-controlled world, only want gold, joke too far with protocols. We start to feel bad around Holocaust time. We think of say something then,

but we worry people be pretty mad at us. So we give it a few more decades. The court ruled that the far right anti-semitic nationalist organization uh pamiat had committed an anti-semitic crime by publishing the book 2002 now an egyptian government-sponsored tv channel airs a 41 part miniseries based on the protocol so that's that's cool that's this century series titled horse without a horseman hopefully that title sounds cooler in e Egyptian. According to the New York Times, the series traces the history of the Middle East from 1855 to 1917 through the eyes of an Egyptian who fought British occupiers in the Zionist movement.

The show appeared in the primetime slot right after the evening news. Reached a wide audience, millions. Supporters of the show said they were just being open-minded about the authenticity of the protocols. Hala Saran, the VP of Dream TV, the company that produced the show, said, this is a quote, in a way, don't they dominate? Of course. What we read from the protocols, it says it's a kind of conspiracy. They want to control.

They want to dominate. I represent everybody in the street. We will see whether this happened throughout history or not. It's a fucking weird phrasing. What the fuck? Listen, I'm just saying what people on the street are saying. And the people on the street are saying, fuck the Jews, you know? That's literally what they say.

They're tired of them having the gold and eating the Gentile babies and being the puppet masters who control world's governments and shit. So I'm saying what they say. Don't kill the street messenger. Fuck is going on. I don't know what accent that was. I midway through, I thought I should try an accent and I probably shouldn't have.

US Senate passed a resolution urging the government of Egypt and other Arab states not to allow government TV to broadcast any program that portrayed the protocols as legitimate. But back in Egypt, they were like, Hey, your Senate's not going to censor these motherfucking streets or something 2004 the u.s department of state report on global anti-semitism asserts

the clear purpose of the protocols is to incite hatred of jews and of israel and he said that because the protocols had now become pretty popular on the internet in the u.s and europe neo-nazi groups white supremacists hol Holocaust deniers, and more, you know, continue to endorse the protocols portrayed as a real historical document. That same year, 2004, protocols published in Okinawa, Japan. Japanese citizens had been fascinated by Judaism, had participated in publication of anti-Semitic texts since the late 19th century. In the 1986 book, If You Can Understand the Jews, You Can Understand the World, 19th century. In the 1986 book, If You Can Understand the Jews, You Can Understand the World, okay, Japanese author Masami Uno wrote that Japan's economic troubles were caused by international Jewish capital. Okay. The book sold 400,000 copies in the first 12 months.

Masami Uno, a Christian fundamentalist preacher and anti-Semite, claims the 1976 bribery indictment of former Prime Minister Kakueui Tanaka and the rise of South Korea were part of a Jewish plot. He claimed the Jewish bankers created the strong yen to subvert and subjugate the Japanese economy. Other Japanese authors published works like Miracles of the Torah, which control the world, Understand the Protocols of the Elders of Zion, and Make Money with Stocks stocks targeted by the Jews. Jesus Christ. These books represented a boom in interest in Judaism in Japan.

In the mid 80s, Japan's Jewish population, only about a thousand people. A thousand people getting fucking more and more nervous by the day. With every new book of lies being published, I imagine. David G. Goodman, a University of Illinois specialist on Japan, wrote a letter to the New York Times that stated, anti-Semitism has greater intellectual currency and respectability in Japan than in perhaps any other industrialized society. Did not know that. However, despite their feelings of racial superiority to Imperial Japan, half a century earlier, much more friendly to Jewish people than Hitler was. In the 1930s, the Japanese military planned to populate Manchuria with a million European Jews seeking refuge from the Nazis.

But that plan never came to fruition. It was thought that newcomers would bring capital and learning from the U.S. to the area and plans to take over the world. During World War II, a Japanese diplomat stationed in Lithuania ignored government regulations and issued visas that did allow over 4,500 Jews to escape to Japan. So that's good. and issued visas that did allow over 4,500 Jews to escape to Japan. So that's good. During World War II, Japanese rulers in Shanghai accepted 25,000 Jewish refugees from Europe, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, and India. The foreign minister told a group of Jewish businessmen in December of 1940,

I am the man responsible for the alliance with Hitler, but nowhere have I promised we would carry out his anti-Semitic policies in Japan. I wonder if those Jewish buttholes, you know, those business leaders buttholes puckered up real fucking tight for a second. Like I wonder how long he paused

after saying the Hitler part. I am the man responsible for the alliance with Hitler. And now we have you. Ha ha. JK, gotcha. Ha, I should have seen the look on your faces.

Washington Post reported in May 1987, there was evidence too of feelings here of a special affinity with Jews. Perhaps it is due to perceptions that Jews have the same sense of purpose and group loyalty that the Japanese admire themselves. Tiny religious sects have even sprung up here

and there preaching that the Japanese are one of the lost tribes of Israel. Michael Shapiro wrote for the New York Times in 1995, the late 1980s were a remarkable time to be a Jew in Japan. Everyone seemed to be talking about Jews or writing about Jews or reading about Jews, even if he or she had never actually met one. David Goodman, an author, Masanori Miyazawa, wrote in their book, Jews in the Japanese Mind, that Masami Uno's works were so popular because they reactivated familiar images of the Jews. These images were familiar because of authors who rewrote the protocols of the elders of Zion, warning Japan about the danger of the Jewish people. Goodman and Miyazawa wrote that the Japanese have been both appalled and fascinated by the idea of the Jews.

In their book, Goodman and Miyazawa examine how anti-Semitism is related to Japanese xenophobia against all foreigners. 2005, in addition to the protocols published in Mexico City, suggested the elders of Zion orchestrated the Holocaust in exchange for founding the state of Israel. The fuck? It's a fucking terrible deal. Before we shake on it, let me make sure we understand the terms of the deal. We help you kill around 6 million of our brothers and sisters, but then you'll give us a very small piece of land in the Middle East, smaller than the little state of

Massachusetts that will be bombed pretty frequently for the rest of time. Okay? Another 2005 edition of the protocols authorized by the Syrian Ministry of Information claimed that the elders of Zion coordinated the September 11th terrorist attacks of 2001. Why would they do that? They never really got to that part. You know, just cause.

They did it just cause. Cause it's evil and shit and you know causes mayhem and whatnot. Additionally, an Arabic translation of the protocols posted on the Palestinian State Information Services website until protests in 2005 led to its removal. Carmen Matusik, a scholar who specializes in Islamic studies in Germany and the author of a book on how the protocols were received in the Arab world, wrote an article in 2013 that was the first published in the Israel Journal of Foreign Affairs, a publication of the Israel Council on Foreign Relations, which operates under the World Jewish Congress. Matusik wrote about how the protocols continue to be distributed in Europe in both English and Arabic versions, saying, the popularity of the protocols in the

Arab world is not at all limited to Islamist circles. The belief in a Jewish world conspiracy characterizes the general historical and political consciousness in much of the Middle East. However, the main reason for this is not the reference to the protocols in section 32 of the Hamas charter or other extremist propaganda.

The Jews' responsibility for every evil on earth is rather a very common academic and centrist worldview in Arab nations. That's fucking disturbing. That in Arab nations, the Jews being responsible for just all evils on earth is, you know, just a commonly held belief. You know, we just, it's just, we know it. Just common sense. Famous intellectuals, politicians, professors translate and comment on the protocols and they continue to promote it as a real historical document.

comment on the protocols and they continue to promote it as a real historical document. Lebanese politician Ajaj Nouwajid published an Arabic translation of the protocols, now one of the most widespread editions of the book there. According to Matusik, most Arabic editions of the protocols have the following blurb. Oh, you may not stop halfway, my dear Arab, as it is your duty to know most certainly what and who is international Jewry, working toward the devastation of Christianity, Islam, and all of civilization. If you stop halfway, you are harming yourself, your Ummah, your history, and your present and future descendants.

Do not be deceived by what you have known until now about Zionism and Israel. It is important for you to know that the international Jewry is behind the scenes and that has performed its criminal deeds for 20 centuries. Zionism and Israel are nothing but its facade. Read these protocols. That blurb often accompanied by a warning that no translator or publisher of the book has ever died of natural causes. Be warned, Death is the price paid for exposing the truth. Many Arabic editions of the book have added content such as forewords, uh, or yeah, forewords of older editions of the book and articles

written by so-called scholars and experts. Uh, the Arabic Wikipedia article on the protocols states that the idea that the book is a fake is an opinion of some historians. That's fucking sad. It is still apparently all too common in the Arab world to blame Jewish people for wars,

economic problems, even natural disasters. Fuck, more tornadoes. Stop already, Jews. Damn you, wizards. Jews are viewed as satanic antagonists and are blamed for the denial of heavenly blessings to islamic groups or theocracies december 13th 2018 the new york times published an interview with alice walker author of the color purple when asked what books are on your nightstand

walker answered that one of the books was david ike's 1995 book and the truth shall set you shall set you free we have some ike's books around here but satirically uh she said in ike's books there is the whole of existence on this planet and several others to think about a curious person's dream come true no alice no his books are not a curious person's dream come true they're a fucking wackadoodle's dream come true a wackadoodle doesn't care about using legitimate sources when presenting supposedly factual information that they're just pulling out their fucking ass. There was widespread outrage over her praise for Ike's book, which has been criticized for its anti-Jewish overtones. Ike's book, several of his other books, yes, so many, draw heavily on ideas from the protocols

of the elders of Zion. Ike argues that Holocaust denial should be taught in schools and promotes the idea that Jews themselves are responsible for most anti-Semitic attacks also describes the Talmud as a racist document Ike probably most well known for promoting the conspiracy theory that a group of child-sacrificing, bloodthirsty lizard people, many of whom are Jewish are secretly running the world

ah boy you know all about Ike's thoughts on all that shit dear space lizards listening, so many secret sucks were dedicated to that maniac's teachings and shitting on them. Ike featured heavily also

in the very first episode of Time Suck. I just heard about his fucking crazy when I started all this. Walker published a statement on our website saying, I do believe he is brave enough

to ask the questions others fear to ask and to speak his own understanding of the truth wherever it might lead. Alice, how are you so smart and so dumb? Walker said she and David Icke were being attacked for supporting Palestinians and that as a woman and a person of color, as a writer who has been criticized and banned myself, I support his right to share his own thoughts. Well, that's different than thinking they might be legitimate. It's a sad day for freedom of inquiry, thought, and speech when an attempt is made to frighten people into lying about what is on their nightstand. Okay, I do see what you're saying, but so is a copy of the Protocols of the Elders of Zion

not scary to see lying on someone's nightstand? Or what about a copy of the Turner Diaries? 1978 fictional book written by neo-Nazi William Luther Pierce, founder of the white nationalist group National Alliance, a book about a violent revolution in the U.S. where neo-Nazis overthrow the federal government, kick off a race war, leading to the systematic extermination of all non-whites and Jews.

Favorite book of Oklahoma City bomber Timothy McVeigh, old fucking Noodle McDryween. Or what about Thomas Dixon's The Klansman, an historical romance of the Ku Klux Klan, the novel that inspired the white nationalist propaganda film Birth of a Nation? What if someone's nightstand had only three books, Protocols of the Elders of Zion,

The Turner Diaries, and The Klansman? And those books were stacked next to a fucking white hood with a noose on it. Should no one worry about that? Right? Nothing to be concerned about. Klansman. And those books were stacked next to a fucking white hood with the noose on it. Should no one worry about that? Right? Nothing to be concerned about. I don't think those books or any other should be legally banned, but I do think we should be concerned about, you know, who is reading certain books and why the fuck they're reading them. Also, you can support Palestine and hate the protocols and the writings of people who present the protocols as truth. You can love both Palestinians and Israelis, or at least feel compassion towards both peoples. And since 2018, many recent conspiracies like QAnon overlap with the belief in a Jewish plot

to control the world. In the summer of 2021, a poll conducted by Morning Consult and published that summer found that 49% of QAnon supporters agreed with the claims in the protocols of the elders of Zion. And also nearly four in five Americans who agree with the protocols believe in QAnon. Strong overlap. Once you believe in the protocols, you open your mind to believing in any number of the blanks control the world conspiracies based on zero factual information. Maybe scariest of all, 32% of right-leaning adults and 11% of left-leaning adults surveyed agreed with the anti-Semitic claims shared within the protocols. Around 22% of all U.S. adults, little over one in five, hear that dumb bullshit I made

fun of earlier and think, yeah, yeah, that sounds about right. Oy fucking vey. Good job, soldier. You've made it back. Barely. Before sharing some final thoughts, super tasty sponsor, I want you to hear. Shalom and howdy cowpokes and chuckwagon ramblers, wranglers and menchers. Name's Yuri Shapiro Goldberg and I'm here for kibbitch, you schmendrick.

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But he makes it sound so delicious. Okay. The Protocols of the Elders of Zion, proven propaganda, proven to be propaganda time and time again. A lot of it's been plagiarized. If you care to look, you can find websites that showcase excerpts from the original plagiarized documents side by side with excerpts from the Protocols. It makes it real obvious that it's a blatant knockoff. It's old Russian propaganda that provided the Russian people with a boogeyman, a long, long vilified and hated boogeyman they could point to as a source for all the Russia's

problems, a scapegoat to shift blame away from themselves and the czar. The Jewish people have long been an easy target and a common scapegoat. They've been the minority in every nation in the world for almost all of human history and a small minority at that. Today, only in Israel are they the majority of the population where 73.6% identify as Jewish. Overall, globally, only 0.2% of people identify as being Jewish. And because a small group of people have a lot of traditions that forbid eating this or working on this day or wearing that, et cetera, they are and have been for centuries seen as being the quintessential other, seen as being different, outsiders. Others who do not push their beliefs on you. And that, while I actually prefer that mentality, can read to many as secretive. What are they

hiding? There are others who have grown more clannish in many ways over the centuries due to continual persecution. And that reads as more secretive to some, or as arrogant, or as a rejection. Why don't you assimilate and be just like me? What, do you think you're better than me? There are others who are perceived as being wealthier than the rest of us, which is not really true when it comes to total numbers. A higher percentage of Jewish people are wealthier than members of other religions. That is true, but overall, way more millionaires than many other groups. A 2015 study done by the nonpartisan wealth research firm New World Wealth found that 56.2% of the 13.1 million millionaires in the

world were Christians, while 6.5% were Muslims, 3.9% were Hindu, and 1.7% were Jewish. 31.7% identified as adherents to other religions or not religious. A 2000 study, however, did show that of all the religious people in the U.S., Jewish people have the highest average household income at 72,000. Is that because they're getting kickbacks from the world controlling elders? Is that because they're gold hungry puppet masters who will stop at nothing to destroy all the world's goyim? Or is it because Jewish culture has long emphasized literacy and education more than the cultures of other religions have? In Europe, a 16th century

code of Jewish law famously required that each Jewish community pay the salary of a teacher to work with its children to learn to read. At that time, almost all European Gentiles fucking illiterate. 2022, a national survey of over 5,000 Americans conducted by the Survey Center on American Life found that 43% of respondents stated that they were expected to go on to a four-year college. At the same time, nearly a third, 30%, reported that their families simply did not spend time talking about educational expectations whatsoever. As for the Jewish community specifically, full 80% expected to pursue a degree at a four-year school. Not only is this figure twice as high as the national average,

but far larger than those of other faiths. Less than half of Protestants, 41%, only 42% of Catholics reported having a similar expectation. And are Jewish people also more financially successful on average because of shit like the story of the Rothschilds? If you only allow Jewish people to be the primary money lenders in Europe for centuries and other jobs related to dirty money like traders and merchants, these are disproportionately taken up by Jewish people because other jobs are forbidden to them. Might you end up with the people overall disproportionately better with money than the rest of us? That just makes sense. That's fucking logic.

Weird how not having shame or guilt around money and value in education tremendously might help you be more financially successful in life. Who would have fucking guessed? Finally, why do we meet sacks so often just fear the other? Why can't we just be curious about the other? Fear what is logical to be feared, but then admire what's logical to be admired. Learn from the other. Why can't we just be curious about the other? Fear what is logical to be feared, but then admire what's logical to be admired. Learn from the other. When it comes to education, we should admire Jewish culture, and I do. What a great thing to value. But for some people, I bet the education intimidates them, makes them feel small, makes them feel inferior. While some of us can shake those feelings off and think, good for them. You know, not me, but good for them just because I'm not educated the same way. I don't

have to feel less than I can be happy for them. I can admire that quality. Others of us get angry, insecure, paranoid, don't want to believe that any shortcomings they have or, you know, uh, are their own fault. No, it's so much easier to look outward than inward, right? Easier to criticize others than to criticize ourselves. Easier to scapegoat and take a victim mentality than it is to dig deep and do painful self-reflection. But we should look inward more. Question ourselves first, question others, you know, second, as needed. We should get to know each other more.

That's the best way to reduce fear of the other. Travel to places where you're the minority. Meet people not raised like you who don't believe what you believe and see what it's all about. I've tried to do that for years now and it's helped me feel more like a global citizen than a nationalist. I found that most other people, regardless of religion, tend to want a lot of the same things. They want their family to be healthy, have a home, have some financial security, consistently have access to nutritious food, clean water, feel safe, want to feel like they can go out in the world, not be persecuted and hated for how they look, what God they believe in. If you're a goyim like me and you haven't done so already, go make some

juice. They're easy to find. What you do is you just look for little breadcrumb trails made out of gold coins and it leads to their lairs. And in the back of their lairs, look for secret doors that drop down at the earth's core. Go down in there. And you keep going down until you reach the elder's coven. And then when they're done eating Gentile babies and sucking Satan's dirty wiener, ask them how much they'll pay

for you to bring them more Gentile babies to eat or whatever and ingratiate yourselves to them. But for real, meet different people and find out that in general, they're just as cool and also just as annoying and just as smart and just as fucking dumb as you and your kind are. And don't fall for dumb shit, outlandish conspiracies like the Protocols of the Elders of Zion.

Believing and spreading shit like that has contributed to so much death, violence, and hatred. And they've already received more hate and death and violence than probably any other group on earth. And what's in it for you to hate them? Now, you don't get a fucking medal or trophy for believing in dumb shit like QAnon. You get literally nothing good for believing that stuff.

It'll make your life worse. Best case, you'll get a lot of new friends who also believe in stupid shit, small-minded, negative, shitty friends, bottom lot of new friends who also believe in stupid shit, small-minded, negative, shitty friends, bottom-shelf friends. That's best case. Worst case, you do something real stupid like murdering innocent people just because you falsely think that they're evil, and you end up in prison. As I used to say on the Is We Dumb podcast, just don't. And now let's just do today's takeaways.

Time Shock, today's takeaways. Number one, the Protocols of the Elders of Zion is a roughly 125-year-old fictional work of literature that purports to be the notes of a late 19th century meeting of Jewish leaders who plotted to take over the world. But it's fiction. Some sections of Protocols is a direct plagiarism of an 1864 book written by a French satirist, Maurice Joly. Joly's work does not mention Jewish people at all. It was written to attack the politics of Napoleon III. Protocols is also inspired by a chapter

in the 1868 German novel, Biarritz. The chapter describes a meeting of rabbis at a cemetery in Prague at midnight where they discuss a century's worth of plans to take over the world. Number two, despite the fact that numerous scholars and government agencies have declared the Protocols to be nothing more than a fiction, many people still believe it's a real historical document, including numerous notable academics and government leaders in the Middle East. Other believers in the Protocols include far-right, neo-Nazi, white supremacist groups in the U.S. and elsewhere around the world.

Number three, the Protocols have been rewritten and translated into many different editions and languages. With the rise of the internet and social media, now easier than ever to access this hateful material. One of the most famous editions of the Protocols was compiled into a book titled The International Jew, originally a series published in the Dearborn Independence, a newspaper owned by American industrialist and weird fucking dude, Henry Ford. Ford, notoriously anti-Semitic. 500,000 copies of The International Jew distributed around the U.S. Then the book translated into different languages well before Ford got sued for being anti-Semitic and finally apologized. Number four, in the 1920s and 30s,

Adolf Hitler referenced the protocols, which had already been denounced as a fake text, to justify discriminatory laws against Jewish people in Germany and ultimately the murders of Jewish people in concentration camps. The Nazi party published at least 23 editions of the book over two decades. Both Hitler and high-ranking party members knew the protocols was fake, but still believed in, you know, the general sentiment and used the economic crisis after the First World War to manipulate the public into believing this shit too. And number five, new info. Oh, my favorite quote I've seen in a while coming up. Oh boy.

Lindsay and I were laughing so hard last night at this. Back in May of this year, the protocols the elders designed was in the news and everything from Rolling Stone Magazine to USA Today, to The Guardian, to The Telegraph, and in the UK. Mom of the year and certified genius, Daley Salinas, complained about youth poet laureate Amanda Gorman's poem, The Hill We Climb, and got it removed from the elementary school section of a Miami-Dade, Florida school. Excuse me. Salinas complained about the poem, claimed that it was not educational and contained indirect hate messages.

Overall, her objections to the five contested books revolved around concerns of indoctrination and critical race theory. Then this past May, Salinas, yeah, so it was this poem and then four others, obviously. Then this past May, Selena's Facebook profile, found using personal details included in her complaint, featured a slew of extreme right-wing posts, including one from August 21st, 2021, voicing support for the Proud Boys and referencing support of the QAnon conspiracy theory. And a separate, now deleted March 31st post shared a summary of the protocols of the elders of Zion. And then this is the best part. In response to questions about why she filed complaints about Gorman's poem, Selena said that she was only sharing her opinion, that it didn't support the curriculum. And then added, she hadn't really

read the poem. She said, and I quote, I'm not a reader. I'm not a book person. I'm not a reader I'm not a book person I'm a mom involved in my children's education I fucking love that quote You might not find this funny I love it so much This person fighting to ban books says I'm not a reader I'm not a book person I'm a mom involved in my children's education

If you're not a fucking reader Please stay the fuck out of everyone's education. You imbecile. Oh my God. Not being a reader, not being a book person. She's sadly not smart enough to understand why she should stay out of education in general. Unless of course she's getting the education she clearly needs. Of course, that's the kind of person posting about the protocols. Don't be daily meat sacks. Don't be an ignorant spreader of hate. Be better than that, please, for all our sakes. And now let me read you a bit of the still banned poem. The poem she didn't read, but helped get banned, by the way. The horrible, indoctrinating, evil poem. This excerpt, by the way, is as bad as this poem gets.

When day comes, we ask ourselves, where can we find light in this never-ending shade? The loss we carry, a sea we must wade. We braved the belly of the beast. We've learned that quiet isn't always peace, and the norms and notions of what just is isn't always justice. And yet the dawn is ours. Before we knew it, somehow we do it.

Somehow we weathered and witnessed a nation that isn't broken, but simply unfinished. We, the successors of a country and a time where a skinny black girl descended from slaves and raised by a single mother, can dream of becoming president only to find herself reciting for one. And yes, we are far from polished, far from pristine, but that doesn't mean we are striving to form a union that is perfect. We are striving to forge our union with purpose, to compose a country committed to all cultures, colors, characters, and conditions of man.

And so we lift our gaze, not to what stands between us, but what stands before us. We close the divide because we know to put our future first. We must first put our differences aside. We lay down our arms so we can reach out our arms to one another. We seek harm to none and harmony for all. Let the globe, if nothing else, say this is true, that even as we grieved, we grew, that even as we hurt, we hoped, that even as we tired, we tried, that we'll forever be tied together, victorious, not because we will never again know defeat, but because we will never again. So division.

That is the shit. She was like, get out of my library. I don't like it. But QAnon post Zion elders of Zion post fucking idiot. Time. Top five takeaways. Debunking the world's

most dangerous conspiracy protocols of the elders of Zion has been sucked. Thank you

to Queen of Bad Magic and the rest of the team including Logan Keith recording the show Olivia Lee providing initial research this week. Thank you to the

Spacers on Patreon for supporting this show. Thanks to the All Seen Eyes moderating the Cult of the Curious private Facebook page, the Mod Squad, making sure the TimeSuck Discord channel stays fun, and everyone over on the TimeSuck subreddit and BadMagic subreddit. And now let's head on over to this week's TimeSucker updates.

Updates? Get your TimeSucker updates! First up, SuperSmartSuckerSally writes in with the subject line of, Updates? Get your Time Sucker updates. First up, Super Smart Sucker Sally writes in with a subject line of, The chick needs to be more subservient. Control your bra, Daniel. And now her message. I kid, I kid. I love you, Lindsay. I found Scared to Death a few years ago and then made the jump to Time Suck soon after. I've listened to every episode of Time Suck and Scared to Death.

I'm out of episodes, so please get on it and give me more content. Thanks. Long time space sitter who loves all things Bad Magic podcast and stand-ups, Daniel, you really need to get on that chick, the queen of the suck, and really make her subservient. On a more serious note, I'm definitely not sorry for the length of this email. And at the very end, I give a solution instead of just stating what the problem is. So I hope it's worth a read. I deeply value the nuanced discussions that Time Suck podcast, that Time Suck fosters around our intricate beliefs. I love how you are reminding us meat sacks that it's possible to support some liberal causes and yet hold other conservative beliefs, or that science and religion are not necessarily at odds.

With that, I have a few things that I want to bring up to my fellow space lizards about our current world affairs. First, I find the term unequivocally, in support of any government, troubling. If a government were to, for instance, deploy anthrax on a civilian population, would you still offer unequivocal support? You don't know what actions are done in the future, so how can you support it before it happens? That's the gravity of standing by a government without question. Supporting the government is a choice, but blind allegiance without scrutiny raises concerns. Yes, it does.

That is nationalism. Secondly, as a Muslim, I am appalled by Hamas's actions. Their attacks targeting civilians, including women, children, and the elderly are indefensible. The use of civilian shields in hospitals as bases exemplifies their terroristic tactics. There's no doubt that the events of October 7th bear the hallmarks of terrorism. Yet, the response by the Israeli government, albeit aimed at a terrorist entity, tragically and disproportionately affects civilians and propagates future hatred. Supporting civilians, irrespective of nationality, ethnicity, or religion, and criticizing the Israeli government's actions should not be mistaken for anti-Semitism.

Extremist sentiments, like advocating for the eradication of Israel, are inherently anti-Semitic. Similarly, making derogatory remarks about Palestinians, such as labeling them as criminals, or advocating wiping them off the planet amounts to xenophobia. Yes, it does. Embracing simplistic solutions overlooks the intricate history of the region. As a species, I'd like to think that we've evolved since medieval times. Meat sacks should aspire to resolve conflicts without resorting to violent medieval time solutions like bombarding a town. Empathy and understanding are vital for peaceful coexistence.

Understanding our current situation involves studying modern history. Justifying land ownership based on ancient texts from thousands of years ago doesn't validate displacing people from their homes. Exploring modern history, such as the Balfour Declaration, is crucial for those supporting either side. Proposing the eradication of either Israel or Palestine is as impractical as reclaiming land for Native Americans in the United States. The key is nurturing empathy for both sides. I urge everyone to research the ongoing atrocities committed by both sides. Hamas kidnaps and tortures soldiers and targets civilian areas with rocket fire.

Israel controls aid going into the territories and allows illegal settlements in designated Palestinian land where some settlers harass, attack, and sometimes kill Palestinians with little impunity. The continuous expansion of settlements, defying international law, poses a significant obstacle to achieving peace. It's akin to someone building a house in your backyard against your wishes despite being told not to proceed. That still does not justify any of Hamas's actions, but we cannot live in a world where it's an eye for an eye. Someone, somewhere, needs to step in and say, enough. In response to those questioning Israel's options following attacks on its sovereignty, I propose a hypothetical solution. Israel asserts that

Hamas leaders live in opulence, while the people they claim to represent suffer in poverty. Given Israel's advanced cyber technology, imagine if Israel were to utilize existing Palestinian airwaves and devices to broadcast evidence showcasing the lavish lifestyles of these leaders. If no such evidence exists, technology like deepfake could be employed. Such a move might incite the Palestinian population to rise against Hamas leadership. The strategy would avoid direct civilian casualties caused by Israel's actions and shift the PR battle, negating the need for Israel to defend its actions as it currently does. Then we can have a conversation about the ethics of cyber warfare instead of calling for humanitarian ceasefires and the loss of tens of thousands of lives on all sides. Three out of five stars wouldn't change a thing except that goddamn

calliope music. Actually, goddamn motherfucking calliope music. But I won't stop listening just for that. I look forward every week to having more knowledge shoved in my ear holes. Sally. Sally, well fucking done. When I first read your message, I just felt the urge to just alone start clapping. And it really made me want to explore the Israeli-Palestinian conflict as a topic. I know I'll need extra time and research energy for that one. So it'll probably be in January or February next year when I'm off the road and get to it. I've already sent an email, sent an email to Sophie this morning, like we got to do this quick. From what I know, what you laid out seems very well-informed and thoughtful. I've actually used your backyard analogy and the concept of truly returning a sovereign land to American Indian tribes in conversations with friends recently.

Also, Sally, I love your heart. It comes through in your message. Like me, you just don't want to see more innocent men, women, and children who are just trying to make it through their days, suffer and die. Hail Nimrod.

And thank you, Sally. And also this, just for a second. It's just for you, Sally. Just because you love it. Now let's lighten things up with some broken dick related messages.

From Clara Jones comes a subject line of broken arrow. And here's her ridiculous message. Dear Suck Vader, the master of the suck. I started listening to Time Suck in 2020 during the COVID shutdown. I was an essential worker, so me and four others on my shift worked very long, boring hours. I was so happy to find Time Suck and I very much enjoyed it. My husband does not get the humor. He did try, but alas, I found his imperfection. I then persuaded my son, Pierce Arvidsson, to listen and well, the apple doesn't far, far from the tree.

He has the same dark and demented sense of humor as his mother. He started listening while in the military, the Marines, and is a space lizard as well. We love seeing your live shows and have a trip planned to see you in Lexington. I have several items to cover. First-time writer, long-time listener. To start, I have a story that is not mine personally, but seems relevant for the time.

When I was 18 many years ago, I was working a warehousing job where I was one of three women who worked in the department. I was kind of endeared by most of the men working around me. One of which was an older man who would look out for me and whose wife I had grown to like as well. One day during our shift meeting, it was announced that he would not be back to work for several weeks. So overtime was going to be posted. The reason given penile trauma. That was literally what was said in the meeting. The reason given? Penile trauma. That was literally what was said in the meeting. When he came back to work, he described to anyone who would listen how his wife was on top

and came down to the wrong position, for lack of a better word, and broke his penis. He self-declared that his new name was Broken Arrow, as his penis would now always have a bend in it. I have so many stories to share, but we'll limit it to that one this time. Dan, if you'd please give my son Pierce,

his wife, the best daughter-in-law in the world, Aaron, and my bestest grandson, Barrett Arvidson, a shout out. Mama loves you all. Clara Snedeker. Holy shit, Clara. That was a good one. I love that your coworker owned it

and gave himself the nickname of Broken Arrow. Talk about making lemons out of busted dick lemonade. Also, that's kind of weird that they just announced openly at the meeting at work that he had penile trauma as a reason for his absence. I mean, isn't it? I guess HIPAA laws weren't around yet. Yeah, thank you for your service, Pierce.

Thanks for being a fucking weirdo who enjoys this shit just like your mom. Aaron, good job loving your husband's mama. And Barrett Arvidsson, I hope all this doesn't warp your young mind too much, but maybe just enough. Hail Nimrod. Now mathematical meat sack,

Lucky Biscayne writes in with a subject line of, you have a cute cock. A-C-U-T, one word. Well done. Talking about angles, they write, so inhaler of acumen and mispronunciations. I've been listening with skepticism of your recent cock situation. I did not believe you'd mislead us on the condition and angle of your new reality, but I cannot abide by the new dimensions.

The dude abides. There are new possibilities with your claim that your little buddy is now bent at 135 degree angle. One. It is indeed bent to this angle. What is the issue? What is the issue? With decades of hand to gland... I've never heard that. Oh my God, I missed it the first time I read it. With decades of hand to gland combat. With decades of hand-to-gland combat. That's so good. My monstrosity sets at a fine dog leg of about 154.26 obtuse degrees to starboard. I cannot offer toilet bowl accuracy as I need both hands and a Bible to lift it into a position where I find that the water is cold and deep. Okay, number two, it is actually at 45 degrees.

If you have, for effect, announced that your cock is at 135 degrees, when in actuality, your cock sets at an acute angle of 45 degrees, this is pointed at your left hip flexor. An average-sized cock at this angle would call for a sippy cup or a used half-and-half carton next to the your nation. I appreciate your comedic effect. I'm no dummy. Uh, lucky Biscayne BRTR. Uh, lucky. That's a, yeah, I actually tried consulting a lot of geometry images for my stupid bent dick joke. I mean, reality, uh, I see the 45 degree angle argument you're making. I thought I seen 45 degree angle, but for the joke i mean reality i i didn't want a smaller number and i didn't want to make it seem less severe i wanted

to like bend the other way so if like it's flat and then you go up to 90 degrees and then it just keeps going and i realized on the other side of the hip that would just be a 45 degree i was just trying to like bend it more somehow so i wanted to go past 90 degrees. I'm not a fucking geometry whiz, clearly. Oh, thank you. And finally, from thoughtful sack, Robert Vance, who writes in with the subject line of, I love Jesus, and then a common law situation in this nuanced message. Hey, Dan, just wanted to respond to you somewhat apologizing, or at least discussing how you sometimes suck Christian topics like the Duggar family. I'm a lover of Jesus and a hater of injustice. And when those who claim to love Jesus are willing to idly stand by and watch injustice or participate in it, it pisses me off

to no end. When you bring up these time suck episodes, witch hunting, the Duggar family, the crusade, you do it in a fair way. Christians have and will continue to mess up just like the rest of humanity. To me, this doesn't speak to the Bible being evil or immoral, but people being evil and immoral. There is absolutely no reason why Christians shouldn't be looked at under a microscope, just like all the other subjects of your episodes are. Keep up the good work. One quick story unrelated to everything else. I'm a self-employed handyman and I go into customers' houses all the time. One such customer, an older lady, was sitting in her chair in the living room while I was fixing a door in there. I had to use my phone for a flashlight.

Then I was done. I went to the next task on her list, which was in another room across the house. I left my phone in her living room. When I was in her bathroom, I must have pressed play by accident and resumed your podcast. In the faintest of background noise, every so often I heard a voice I thought sounded like Dan Coen's. Didn't think a lot of it. Finished in the bathroom, went in the living room to leave. And I heard you were on. You were playing at to her for at least 10 minutes. And during that time, you were talking about how the human race is going to go extinct due

to robot porn and sex dolls being so superior to traditional fucking. I grabbed my phone, turned you off and pretend like it never happened. My customer never mentioned it. I never mentioned it. And she has not hired me back. Keep up the good work. Three out of five stars, Robert. Ah, I love that she had a good 10 minutes of hearing that, Robert. And also, thank you.

Thank you for understanding. I love how you wrote, to me, this doesn't speak to the Bible being evil or immoral, but people being evil and immoral. Yes, overall, I don't think it's religion warping us meat sacks into immoral, but people being evil and immoral. Yes, overall, I don't think it's religion warping us meat sacks into immoral acts. I think us meat sacks warp religion into justifying the immoral acts we already wanted to do for whatever fucking reasons. Uh, hell never. I'm so lucky to have such a cool, smart, thoughtful, funny, uh, group of, a group of funny fuckers listening to this show. Uh, I definitely have felt very grateful for you all

this past Thanksgiving season. Next time, suckers. I needed that. We all did. Thanks for listening to another Bad Magic Productions podcast. Scared to death, time suck each week. Please don't persecute any Jewish people this week. It's pretty hacky at this point. It's overdone. If you have to persecute time suck each week. Please don't persecute any Jewish people this week. It's pretty hacky at this point.

It's overdone. If you have to persecute anyone, get creative. Maybe persecute, I don't know, people from Iceland. I have nothing against them. I just don't think they've been really persecuted before. I mean, who knows? They might think it's fun. Or don't persecute anyone at all and just keep on sucking.

And magic productions. I still keep thinking about that quote from Daily Salinas. I'm not a reader. I'm not a book person. I'm a mom involved in my children's education i wish you know like she saw that quote and then felt stupid but she didn't because he's she's not a reader maybe she's a listener though maybe she'll hear it here if you do daily please for yourself and for your kids and everybody else please feel stupid because if you feel stupid enough it might just move you To change And be better than that

Do it for your kids Who you supposedly Want to protect Hopefully Hopefully they're readers