Timesuck with Dan Cummins - 409 - Elvis Presley

Episode Date: July 1, 2024

What do you know about the King, baby? Did you know how poor he was growing up? How quickly he became famous as an adult? Did you know he had a pet chimp, Scatter, that he let get drunk and terrorized costars on some of his movie sets? A lot about Elvis and a little bit on the history of Rock n Roll this week!  Thank ya very much. Watch the Suck on YouTube: https://youtu.be/pd-Dm1tfkOUMerch and more: www.badmagicproductions.com Timesuck Discord! https://discord.gg/tqzH89vWant to join the Cult of the Curious PrivateFacebook Group? Go directly to Facebook and search for "Cult of the Curious" to locate whatever happens to be our most current page :)For all merch-related questions/problems: [e-mail] (copy and paste)Please rate and subscribe on Apple Podcasts and elsewhere and follow the suck on social media!! @timesuckpodcast on IG and http://www.facebook.com/timesuckpodcastWanna become a Space Lizard? Click here: https://www.patreon.com/timesuckpodcast.Sign up through Patreon, and for $5 a month, you get access to the entire Secret Suck catalog (295 episodes) PLUS the entire catalog of Timesuck, AD FREE. You'll also get 20% off of all regular Timesuck merch PLUS access to exclusive Space Lizard merch. And you get the download link for my secret standup album, Feel the Heat.

Elvis Presley aka Elvis aka the king of rock and roll although Elvis himself would publicly declare that Fats Domino was the real king of rock and roll is considered one of the most influential figures not just in the world of music but just for the 20th century in general. His name denotes images of swaying hips black pompadour hair big sideburns rhinestone jumpsuits and capes and 1950s rock and roll. Elvis released his first record in 1954. His popularity exploded because of his unique sound that combined elements of pop, country, gospel, and rhythm and blues. And of course, there was his looks.

So, so, so many ladies swooned for Elvis. Teenagers all across America, mostly teen girls, worshiped this guy. Especially in the late 1950s and during the 60s. Elvis, a young man who came from an impoverished family living first in Tupelo, Mississippi, and then in Memphis, Tennessee, suddenly became unimaginably famous and wealthy. Elvis would go on to star in 31 feature films, appear in numerous widely viewed television specials, and he would break a ton of live concert performance attendance records. Over the course of his lifetime Elvis would perform in 1,684 shows and record 784 songs. He'd win three Grammys and to date has sold

over a billion records globally according to his estate which would be more than any other artist in history. Other sources have him neck-and-neck with Michael Jackson for the most sales of any solo musician, and then right behind the Beatles for the third most sales ever. When Elvis died on August 16th, 1977, at the age of just 42, the world lost a cultural icon, a troubled icon.

Behind the curtain of fame and fortune, the King's personal life was marked by a whole bunch of affairs, a very troubled and pretty cringy marriage to a girl he started dating when she was 14, numerous terrible decisions made on his behalf by his shady manager, years of drug abuse, spiritual searching, a deep fear that he would lose everything he'd ever dreamed of and be forgotten, and the burden of trying to be Elvis all the time. Elvis once said, the image is one thing and the human being is

another. It's very hard to live up to an image. This week we'll discuss the music that influenced Elvis in his early days, how he became known as the king of rock and roll, his career, his personal life, his death, how he changed the music industry forever on this blue suede shoe wearing nothing but a hound dog. Burning love, suspicious minds, biographical edition of Time Suck. This is Michael McDonald and you're listening to Time Suck. You're listening to Time Suck.

Happy Monday and welcome or welcome back to the Cult of the Curious, dear meat sack. I'm Dan Cummins, King shit of suck mountain, 2024 team USA men's gymnastic Olympic team alternate, cock sock puppet ventriloquist coach, and you are listening to Time Suck. Hail Nimrod, hail Lucifina, praise B to good boy Bojangles, the bestest dog, and glory B to triple M. And no announcements today. So much information to cover, time to get curious and learn a bit about the early days of rock and roll, baby. Thank you very much. And so much more. Gonna start off today with an overview of how rock and roll became a popular music genre followed by a full timeline of Elvis's life, career, marriage, and affairs and his

death. Elvis, known as the King of Rock and Roll, one of his many nicknames. Some of his other nicknames included the Hillbilly Cat, Elvis the Pelvis, and the Memphis Flash. But none of those quite stuck like Presley the Pussy Executioner, which was his most widely known, no, the King of Rock and Roll. Was his big nickname. One of the first uses of his nickname occurred April 19th, 1956, when a reporter named B. Ramirez called Elvis

the 21 year old King of the Nation's Rock and Roll set in the Waco News Tribune. I love the rock and roll set. What's up with this rock and roll set? A month later an article in the Memphis Press Scimitar called him the fledgling king of rock and roll. After opening in Vegas in 1969 a reporter just called Elvis simply the king. And the king pointed to Fats Domino, a black artist and one of the pioneers of rock and roll, and said, no, that's a real king of rock and roll. This is one of his many acknowledgments of the black artists who produced the first rock and roll songs and kickstarted the new genre of music. Elvis's style combined country music and blues to help form rock and roll, but contrary

to popular belief, Elvis did not invent rock and roll. His music was inspired by country music, blues singers, and the earliest rock and roll artists like Fats Domino. Another black artist considered by many to be the original king of rock and roll was Little Richard. Little Richard was from Macon, Georgia, three years older than Elvis. He and Elvis were friendly. Little Richard actually once said, I thanked the Lord for sending Elvis to open the door so I could walk down the road. And then the legendary Welsh singer Tom Jones once said that he and Elvis were at one of Chuck Berry's concerts in Las Vegas and Elvis was mesmerized. And at one point

he turned to Tom and allegedly said there's a real king of rock and roll up there right now. Chuck Berry, another African-American musician from Missouri, nine years older than Elvis, often called the father of rock and roll. When I asked the father of rock and roll. When I asked Google who invented rock and roll, Chuck Berry and Little Richard were the first two names that came up. However, music was a segregated industry and producers promoted Elvis far more than his black contemporaries and

predecessors, which made him the face of the rock and roll movement. Encyclopedia Britannica defines rock and roll as a style of popular music that originated in the United States in the mid 1950s, and then evolved by the mid 1960s into the more encompassing international style known as rock music. Though the latter also continued to be known as rock and roll. Rock and roll combines elements from yeah, country music,

rhythm and blues, goes deeper than that. According to Britannica, the seeds of the music had been in place for decades, but they flowered in the mid-1950s when nourished by a volatile mix of black culture and white spending power. Black vocal groups such as the Dominos and the Spaniels began combining gospel-style harmonies and call and response singing with earthy subject matter and more aggressive rhythm and blues rhythms. Heralding the new sound were disc jockeys

who created rock and roll radio by playing hard driving rhythm and blues and raunchy blues records that introduced white suburban teenagers to a culture that sounded more exotic, thrilling and illicit than anything they'd ever known. In 1954, that sound coalesced around an image, that of a handsome white singer, Elvis Presley,

who sounded like a black man. Rock and roll used to be a euphemism for sex actually and Elvis's music known for its sexuality. His songs appealed to rebellious teens, was condemned by church leaders, government officials, and parents groups who thought it was the devil's music. Get out of here! Get out of here, devil! What are you doing now? To help in the dark Get that rock and roll away from the kids! That condemnation just made the kids want to listen to it that much more. The genre exploded in the 1950s because of its popularity amongst young people with a new cool sound.

In 2015, the New Yorker published a piece on Elvis in the history of rock and roll and staff writer, professor, author Lewis Menand wrote, Rock and roll, the music associated with performers like Chuck Berry, Little Richard, Buddy Holly, and the early Beatles, is music that anyone can play or can imagine playing and everyone can dance to. The learning curve for performing the stuff is short. The learning curve for appreciating it is non-existent. The instrumentation and the arrangements are usually simple, three or four instruments, and frequently about the same number of chords. You can add horns and strings and backup singers. You can add a lot more chords, but the important thing is the feeling. Rock and

roll feels uninhibited, spontaneous, and fun. Rock and roll was originally performed by black artists for a primarily black audience and then performed by white artists for primarily for a primarily white audience who played to a much larger audience. According to the New Yorker, Billboard began charting songs in 1940 and by 1949 there were three categories. Pop, country and western, and rhythm and blues, which replaced the previous classification of, quote, race music. Every week, Billboard listed the songs most frequently sold in record stores, songs most

frequently requested in jukeboxes, and songs most frequently played by disc jockeys. Because the market was segregated, rhythm and blues sales were reported mainly by stores that catered to black customers. On-air plays were reported by radio stations with primarily black listeners. Jukebox requests were reported in places with primarily black customers etc. But then a rise of local radio stations disrupted things. Before the 40s audiences mostly listened to national broadcast networks like CBS and NBC for the radio. Then the FCC issued a policy to try and break up this monopoly. Licensing of local stations increased from 800 in 1940 to over 2,000 in 1949. By 1950 the

majority of people were now listening to local radio instead of national radio. And some of these local radio stations, unlike the national stations, catered to a black audience. Although the black music market was smaller, it now had more power than it did before. An increase in jukeboxes and local radio stations led to an increase in independent record labels for rhythm and blues records between 1940 and 1950. And written again by Louis Menand, rock and roll became possible when it started to dawn on people that not everyone buying R&B records or listening to R&B songs on the radio was African American.

Alan Freed, DJ in Cleveland, one of the first to call R&B music listened to by white teens, rock and roll. Shortly after this new exciting sound hit the scene, music producers were looking to expand the market so they could make a whole bunch more money. They wanted a white superstar who had the R&B sound that appealed to the young masses. And producers wanted white singers because of the rapidly growing television industry as well that catered largely to peckerwood cracker ass fuck faces. But for real, almost everyone was racist back then. Thought along racial lines and the TV market did cater pretty much exclusively to white people.

By 1955 over two-thirds of American households now had a TV set. TV dominated by variety shows. They were the most popular shows, had a massive audience, and they frequently featured musicians, which meant TV was the new way to market music. And all of that set the stage for the rapid rise of Elvis Presley. Elvis's first single went on the market in July 1954. He was marketed as a quote crossover artist who could appeal to pop country and R&B listeners. Elvis didn't seem to fit in with any particular category at first. From the beginning it was mentioned

that he sounded like black singers which appealed to young white audiences who liked that sound and he also appealed to advertisers who liked his whiteness. Elvis faced criticism for taking inspiration from and openly admiring black artists in his day, for the New York Times, he was simply seen as too low-class or perhaps just too no-class in his refusal to deny recognition to a segment of society that had been rendered invisible by the cultural mainstream. Interestingly for a white dude who grew up in the South in the 1940s and 1950s, Elvis, while he certainly had his flaws, appeared to be very ahead of his time when it came

to race relations. He has in recent times been accused of cultural appropriation, which I think is wildly unfair. Elvis didn't steal black music. He was influenced by a lot of other artists just like literally all artists are, black, white, and otherwise. And he was for sure influenced by black artists, primarily, and he never tried to hide that. He covered a lot of songs like other other musicians, black, white also do. Paid royalties to sing those covers and gave credit to those artists.

I found a lot of people weighing in on the question of whether or not Elvis stole black music on Reddit and Quora. And I like what Quora user Joshua P. Hill, who appears to be African American, wrote, Well said, Mr. Hill. Okay, now that we know how rock and roll came to be, how it influenced the man who became known as the king of the genre, let's begin our timeline of Elvis Presley's life and career. Thank you very much. Shrap on those boots, soldier. We're marching down a time-sucked timeline. timeline. Elvis Aaron Presley born January 8th 1935 in Tupelo Mississippi. Tupelo located in Lee County has a population of around 45 million creatures when you add up insects, rodents, people, raccoons, and possums. Has

about 38,000 people. A lot more than roughly than the roughly 6,000 who lived there when Elvis was born. And Elvis specifically a big reason for the population being bigger now than it used to be. Being the birthplace of Elvis definitely has led to a lot of jobs in the hospitality and tourism industry in Tupelo. Over a hundred thousand people a year visit the 15 acre Elvis Presley Park. Which includes the home his family lived in when he was born. His dad and uncle built the house for, as legend has it, 180 bucks just two years before Elvis was born. And I know a dollar went a lot further back then, but that's fucking crazy that for 180 dollars you could build a family home. You literally could not build a tree fort for that much money today.

Not one that would be safe for any kid to play in. The church Elvis first attended, also part of the park, they moved it from its original location in town. This is the church where Elvis was first exposed to the southern gospel music style that would strongly influence his music. Also where Assembly of God minister, Brother Frank Smith, is said to have shown young Elvis how to really sexually gyrate his hips around. Brother Smith called that peacocking. He'd once famously shown young Elvis how to really sexually gyrate his hips around. Brother Smith called that peacocking. He'd once famously tell young Elvis, Jesus will love you no matter what son, but if you want all the girls to love you,

well, you gots to entice him. You gots to show him that you ain't just got a cock son, but you know how to shoot it. And then he'd energetically thrust his hips around and kind of hump the air and just make sounds like woo woo woo, kakakow, ayayay, come get it, woo! Stuff like that and that's nonsense. But there really was a brother Frank and he said to have taught Elvis how to play the first chords he'd ever strum on the guitar. A, D, and E. Building blocks for so many songs, especially that E minor there too. Elvis's father, the guy who built a little two-room house Elvis began his childhood in, a house that was a whopping 300 square feet by the way,

was Vernon Presley and his mama was Gladys Presley but Elvis called her hot sauce because she used to walk around the house wearing nothing but see-through skimpy lingerie. Mama hot sauce! Looking good! Sorry, no I won't be consistently this ridiculous all the time. I was in a weird mood putting together this info. No, I'm pretty sure he just called her mom or mommy, maybe mama, probably not hot sauce. And mama Gladys Presley was born April 25th, 1912. Vernon was almost exactly four years younger, born April 10th, 1916. Both of them raised in Mississippi. Born and raised. Vernon, 17, Gladys was 21 when they first met in 1933. They fell in love quick, as people did often back then,

when the dating pool tended to be a lot smaller for people than it is now, and when there was a lot more pressure to get married if you wanted to have sex. And they did quickly wanna get married, but couldn't legally because Vernon was underage. So Vernon lied at the courthouse listed as age 22. Gladys lied lied too, said she was 19 and they paid the three dollars required for their marriage license with borrowed money because they were poor as shit. So much easier back then to bullshit

your way into things than it is today. You couldn't pull off this marriage today. Now if you lied about your age to some government official and you're trying to get your marriage license they would just look at your driver's license or birth certificate or access info about you off your social security number and be like what no you're not you're not 22 you're 17 what are you doing oh yeah sorry forget it never mind. Elvis born into some serious poverty yep Elvis and his family were and apologized to any poor whites who listen here they were were Peckerwoods. Mm-hmm. They were literally Peckerwoods. Doesn't mean they're trash. Doesn't mean they're rednecks. But they were white, were dirt poor, and they were living in the rural south. So Peckerwoods they were. It's a fun word to say. His

family relied on welfare for most of their food and the generosity of neighbors for most of Elvis's diapers. In 1938, when Elvis was just three, his dad Vernon would go to jail for eight months for forging a four dollar check. Clearly they were hard up for money. Following that, their shack, as their home is often referred to, was repossessed and then they'd bounce around from rental to rental, often living in government assisted housing. In 1978, Vernon told Good Housekeeping magazine, At that time, there was almost nobody poorer than my wife Gladys and me.

But we were thrilled and excited when we learned that we were going to be parents. Gladys worked at a local garment plant while she was pregnant, but then quit towards the end of her pregnancy. And what was supposed to be the happiest day thus far for the young couple, January 8, 1935, the day of Elvis's birth, was actually an incredibly tragic day for the Presley family. Elvis, it's hard to imagine this because he became so handsome, was a very ugly baby. And his birth filled the family with a lot of sorrow.

He was so fucking ugly, the doctor who delivered him threw him on the floor immediately, tried to stop him to death. Started screaming stuff like, die devil, die! I'll return you to hell! Infernal abomination! You will not use me, Satan, to deliver that demon spawn into this world And again, that's crazy talk, but it really was a tragic day the young couple learned that Gladys was pregnant with twins But only one of them was alive Jesse Garen Presley was the firstborn but sadly born stillborn and then Elvis wouldn't arrive for another 35 minutes It's fucking crazy man being in labor for another half hour after learning that your child is dead. Vernon spoke with Good Housekeeping decades later

about the loss of Jesse Garan, saying, I was desolate at the loss of our child. But then my father put his hand on my wife's stomach and announced, Vernon, there's another baby here. At that time, Elvis was born. Medicine hadn't advanced far enough for a doctor to predict twins. So his arrival took us completely by surprise.

That's fucking wild. What an emotional roller coaster ride, right? You're so excited for your first child. Your wife is delivering the baby. Then the baby is dead. Immediate grief, mourning. And then, your fucking dad, who's like probably helping deliver the baby is like, which is weird, but what happened back then?

Your dad is like, so sorry about your son, but uh, surprise! You got, you got a redo! There's a, you got a mulligan! There's another baby in there! Uh, and then that second baby's fine. And then the drama wasn't over. After giving birth to Elvis, Gladys now almost bled to death, had to be taken to the hospital and held for several days. Yes, she was taken to the hospital, as in she gave birth at home. That's how you did it back then usually, especially if you were dirt poor, no hospital and often no doctor for delivery.

So now, although Elvis was technically a twin, he grows up as an only child. Gladys and Vernon never had any more kids. It's never stated explicitly why that I found, but I have to wonder if after Gladys nearly died in childbirth and was taken to the hospital, some surgical procedure, you know, possibly rendered her infertile, you know, left her unable to have more kids. Elvis got his name from his dad. Elvis was Vernon's middle name.

And Elvis would visit his brother's grave as a child and as adult. He would talk about Jesse pretty often. I wonder how that affected Elvis growing up, or I guess just in general. I mean, it's not like he ever knew Jesse. No one did because he died before he even spent a minute outside the womb but he knew he was supposed to have a brother and not just a brother but a twin brother constant companion for better or for worse but then instead

he grows up alone. I wonder when he was around like uh you know other brothers who were really close if he got jealous. Did the loss of someone he spent the first nine months of his development in the closest possible quarters with but also never truly met, you know, leaving with a bit of melancholy. I'm curious how that would affect your development. Gladys would stay home to care for little Elvis. Vernon would work some odd jobs to barely kind of pay the bills. As I mentioned, the family struggled financially.

Vernon will outlive both Gladys and Elvis. He'll die of a heart attack June 26, 1979 at the age of 63. Two years after Elvis, just over 20 years after Gladys dies in 1958, also of a heart attack. She died at the age of only 46. Vernon will also in his later years benefit a lot financially from Elvis' superstardom. Elvis gave his dad some token job to let him help manage his affairs. He paid him $75,000 a year, which is equivalent to $350,000 today and also just bought him a ton of other stuff and took care of him. Elvis actually did a great job of

taking care of his family once he hit a big and and a lot of other people who are close to him. Elvis worked a lot growing up to help his family even as a little kid doing odd jobs like mowing people's lawns. He grew up surrounded by family in Tupelo various aunts and uncles and cousins and grandparents. His paternal grandparents Jesse and Minnie Mae. Minnie Mae was called Dodger by Elvis. Lived right down the street and Elvis loved Granny Dodger. I guess she got the nickname of Dodger because no matter what trouble life threw at Minnie Mae, she always managed to dodge it and just keep on pushing forward. Pretty fucking

stellar nickname in origin. And Dodger would later say of Elvis's early childhood years, he was so cute, he used to get mad at Gladys for whatever reason and would walk over to my house. I always knew he was upset because he'd be carrying some of his clothes in a paper bag. He'd tell me he was running away. And that's pretty adorable.

Dodger shared another cute little grandma moment saying that one day Elvis on a dare sat in a ditch and got his clothes soaking wet. I was looking after him that day and I paddled him pretty good when he came inside. He cried and I promised not to ever do it again because he looked so pitiful I ended up crying myself. Yeah, she never spanked him after that again. And then she also tried to talk his mom Gladys out of ever spanking him either. Dodger would live with Elvis towards the end of his life in Graceland where he continued to adore her. She would outlive her grandson by about three years. Little Elvis, while he adored Dodger, was apparently afraid of his grandpa Jesse. Grandpa drank a lot and Elvis didn't like how he acted when he was drunk and he wouldn't care to

be around people who drank a lot for the rest of his life. Jesse, Dodger, Vernon, Gladys, more family all attended the Little Assembly of God Church in East Tupelo where Elvis was influenced by both the sermons and the music. And he also loved hearing blues singers in his neighborhood and listening to country music radio at home. And what a great place to be born when it came to being exposed to the blues, right? So close to Memphis, home of the legendary music label Sun Records, and Mississippi home to a whole bunch of blues legends and pioneers. Muddy Waters, considered the father of the Chicago blues sound, born in Mississippi in

1913, definitely an architect of rock and roll. Robert Johnson, who the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame describes as the first ever rock star, born in 1911, Mississippi. B.B. King, considered by many to be the greatest blues guitarist of the 20th century. Born in Mississippi in 1925. Willie Dixon, another architect of the Chicago blues sound, early rock and roll pioneer. Born in Mississippi in 1915. John Lee Hooker, considered one of the best blues musicians of all time.

Mississippi born 1912. Bo Fuckin' Diddley, one of Elvis's biggest influences, considered one of the main artists who created the original rock and roll sound out of the blues born in Mississippi in 1928. And I can keep going. Elvis was born in the same part of the country where the blues was born and not long before him. And between Mississippi and Memphis where he spent the second half of his childhood, he was born in just about the best place in the entire world when it came to somebody who wanted to be part of the emerging sound of rock and roll. 1945 Elvis did one of his first public performances at the age of 10 after a teacher overheard him singing. Thought he had a beautiful

voice. Took him down to the principal's office. Let the principal hear him sing. Principal also thought he had a beautiful voice and they talked to him entering a local talent contest. And on October 3rd, 1945 Elvis sang a song or Elvis sang a song called Old Shep in a local talent contest. And on October 3rd, 1945, Elvis sang a song called Old Shep in a youth talent contest at the Mississippi Alabama Fair and Dairy Show in Tupelo. He had to stand on a chair to reach the microphone. The talent show was broadcast on WeLo radio. The very first time Elvis's voice was heard on radio airwaves. And that performance did not shoot that talented little Peckerwood into fame and fortune. Did I mention earlier how much I

love to say the word Peckerwood? I feel like since I was raised poor, rural, and white, even though I didn't grow up in the South, I can legitimately identify as a Peckerwood. So I can drop the P word as much as I want. Anyway, little Pecker word Presley, he didn't really pick the best song for his first public performance. Old Shep is a fucking sad song. It's very slow. It's about a kid whose old dog is in pain, so he shoots it in the head to put it out of its misery.

Seriously, that's not even some of my bullshit. That's not a great song to make the kids dance and go wild. That's a song that's going to make people cry. Elvis did not win the contest. He took fifth prize though, and received $5 worth of fair ride tickets which I bet he loved because if he didn't know no one loves a fair more than a peckerwood. 1946 11 year old Elvis really wanted a bicycle but his parents couldn't afford one and his mom who was very protective of her baby boy also thought they were too dangerous

and so Gladys talked him into accepting a guitar instead. This is how it all started Vernon and Gladys bought Elvis's first guitar at the Tupelo hardware company for $12.95 A lot of money for them to spend at that time, but less than a bike The Presley family moved to Memphis, Tennessee in November of 1948 when Elvis was less than two months away from turning 14 and Memphis will be the home for Elvis for the rest of his life his primary residence Memphis a lot bigger than Tupelo. There's over 1.3 million people in the metro area today, over 600,000 in the city proper. And when Elvis and his family moved there, it was already a big city, almost 400,000 people in the city limits. The city home of the legendary Beale Street, full of all kinds of music venues, has been called

the home of the blues. Traveling black blues musicians first started playing in clubs in Beale Street in the late 1860s right after the Civil War ended. The street was created in 1841. The first band to form on Beale Street was the Young Men's Brass Band formed by Sam Thomas in 1867. Robert Church, an entrepreneur who bought a lot of land around Beale Street, became the very first African-American millionaire in the American South. And when Elvis and his family moved there on any given night, you might hear B.B. King, Muddy Waters, Louis Armstrong, Memphis Mini, a number of other musicians playing some Memphis blues and or some early rock and roll. Man, what a place for a

young Peckerwood with a good voice who loves to play guitar and sing rock and roll to be. And here young Elvis with a fresh start, a new city redefines himself. He was no longer the teacher's pet and the mama's boy he had been in Tupelo. He grows his hair out for the fifties at least. Slicks it back, starts to look like a rock and roll rebel. Starts to look like the young Elvis we've all seen countless pictures of. Well, the Presley Packerwoods had moved to Memphis in search of better economic opportunities. They were still dirt fucking poor. In fact, the Presleys were able to pack literally everything they owned outside of their car into one big trunk that fit on top of their car. That was all they had. They just had that car

and the shit that fit in that trunk on top of that car. And I'll share some information about Elvis Presley's first years in Memphis right after today's first of two mid-show sponsor breaks. And I'm back. If you don't hear these ads get the entire catalog ad free and more by signing up to be a space lizard on patreon for five bucks a month. Thank you to our space lizards. And now let's return to 1948 and learn about how young Peckerwood became the king. Thank you very much. From 1948 to 1953, Elvis and his parents lived in North Memphis in a variety of public housing or low rent homes, some of Memphis's lowest income neighborhoods. Vernon and Gladys worked a variety of different jobs, while Elvis attended L.C. Hume's Middle School and High School Also worked part-time to help support the family.

One of his jobs when he was in high school was working as an usher at the movie theater, Lowe's State Theater in downtown Memphis. Only job that we know of that he ever got fired from. Supposedly another usher at Lowe's told the manager Arthur Groom that Elvis was getting free candy from some female employee who had the hots for him.

And Elvis responded to this accusation by punching this other usher in the fucking face. I love it. And then Groom responded by firing them both. Fired Elvis and the kid he punched. One of Elvis's friends he met as a kid at Elsie Humes was Gene Red West. If you're a fan of the original Roadhouse movie with Patrick Swayze, you fucking should be because it's one of the greatest movies ever made. Red played Red Webster in that movie,

the dude who ran the auto parts store in town. One of Swayze's friends, one of Dalton's friends in that movie. Red also had small roles in 16 of Elvis's movies and in a whole bunch of other movies. He worked as a Hollywood stuntman, worked as a songwriter, he penned tracks not just for Elvis,

but for Pat Boone, Ricky Nelson and others. And he worked for 16 years as Elvis's personal bodyguard. The two became great friends, read married Elvis's secretary in 1961 before Elvis's dad fired Red for being a little too aggressive as a bodyguard and manhandling some of Elvis's fans. Elvis also met George G.K. Klein at L.C. Humes when the two were in eighth grade and both 13 years old and they'll remain close friends for the rest of Elvis's life. GK will later say

Elvis was the only kid in school that could sing. I was really lucky because his mother liked me. When they were kids GK was the guy that Elvis looked up to. He was class president, one of the most popular kids in school, fucking cool guy. He'd go on to become a popular Memphis DJ and TV personality, started in 1957. He'd also snag cameos and aid of Elvis's movies, write two books about Elvis after his death, and he got married in Elvis's Las Vegas Hotel Suite in 1970 with Elvis being the best man. Bill Black also attended Elsie Humes a decade before Elvis, and then he'd go on to become a member of the Blue Moon Boys soon after Elvis graduated high school. Blue Moon Boys was a trio consisting of

Elvis, Bill and guitarist Scotty Moore that formed in 1954. While Elvis went solo soon after he had Bill and Scotty appear on numerous records and in several of his movies. Many of Elvis's friends who knew him before he became famous like Red West, GK Klein, Red's cousin Sonny West. They all became known as the Memphis Mafia. It was a nickname given by the media to Elvis's entourage who toured with him, lived with him in Graceland, etc. Elvis would give them jobs, put them in his movies, give him some kind of stipend just so he could help him and help himself by keeping himself surrounded by his best buddies, his

oldest friends, people he felt like he could trust. As Elvis's fame grew more and more and more people wanted a piece of his money, he became a little more paranoid and leaned on his old friends more. According to Patrick Humphries, author of Elvis's number one hits, The Secret History of the Classics,

the Memphis mafia members, quote, acted as Elvis's bodyguards, babysitters, drug procurers, girl getters, mates and car buyers. Various members of the Memphis Mafia played vital roles in keeping Elvis numerous dirty secrets out of the public eye. A couple of them had been arrested with false prescriptions attempting to collect drugs for Elvis. Quite a few had taken physical hits in the service of protecting Elvis. And none were paid more than $500 a week. For that they were often shouted at,

abused, and belittled by the king when he felt like it. Doesn't sound too friendly and fun, but perhaps Humphreys was exaggerating or sensationalizing to sell more books. According to former Memphis mafia member Marty Lacker, everyone had assigned responsibilities and they were far from leeches, hangers-on, or whatever else they were called. They all had jobs to do so that Elvis could do his. And as far as being there for the money, that's laughable because there really wasn't much in that area to be for or to be there for. Most of us were not there for the money.

We were there because we were we all cared about Elvis and each other like brothers. And Elvis would buy them a bunch of shit, bought them cars, bought a lot of houses, again, put them in the movies. Elvis called the Memphis mafia his TCB crew, taking care of business. He even had a TCB logo drawn up and had it painted on the side of his private jet and some other assets. Okay, back when Elvis was in high school now, after meeting some of his high school buddies, he began to become known by his junior year for his singing and guitar playing. He stood out amongst his peers that year also because he had longer hair and those sideburns.

Elvis performed in his school talent show his senior year and won, receiving the most applause of any act. Even performed an encore. And he'd later say, I wasn't popular in school. I failed music. Only thing I ever failed. And then they entered me in this talent show. When I came on stage, I heard people kind of rumbling and whispering and so forth because nobody knew I even sang.

It was amazing how popular I became in school after that. Interestingly Presley, while he would learn to play guitar, piano, bass, ukulele, and would also mess around with the drums and the accordion, never learned to read sheet music. He played shit by ear or played to others showed him how to play. While growing up in Memphis Elvis listened to both the blues and gospel music whenever he could. He regularly attended all-night gospel sing-alongs in downtown Memphis where white and black people would sing together, which was a new thing in the still heavily segregated South. Elvis graduated from Hume's June 3, 1953, an impressive accomplishment for Peckerwood.

Following school, he did not jump straight into rock and roll stardom. He got a job at Parker Machinist shop. But also over the summer following high school, he stopped at the Memphis recording service, a home of Sun Records, owned by a man named Sam Phillips. According to Peter Worlnick, Phillips said he founded Sun Records for quote, Negro artists in the South who wanted to make a record

and just had no place to go. I set up a studio just to make records with some of those great Negro artists. Some of those artists were James, or one of them, no, James Cotton, who recorded for Sun in 1953 and 1954, had a minor hit called the Cotton Crop Blues. He would tour for years as Muddy Waters' harmonica player. Another was Rufus Thomas, first recorded for Son in 1951, right after they became known as Son.

Right before they became known, excuse me, as Son in 1952. According to the Mississippi Blues Commission, Rufus Thomas embodied the spirit of Memphis music perhaps more than any other artists. One of Philip's first recordings, produced in 1950, featured a young Ike Turner. The much more talented and iconic Tina Turner's future husband. And Tina Turner was a force of fucking nature. Also, Hail, Lucifina. Did you know she became a citizen of Switzerland for about the last 10 years of her life? Spent almost the entirety of her last 10 years in Switzerland. She would be an interesting biography. Possible futures suck.

But we're talking about Elvis! When Elvis arrived at Sun Records in the summer of 1953, Secretary Marion Keisker asked him, who do you sound like? And he immediately shot her in the chest while screaming, I'm the king, baby. The rest of the world wants to sound like me. Thank you very much. No, he said, I don't sound like nobody.

Elvis paid four bucks. He got in the $4 as a small advance for a summer job, to record a demo acetate of the songs My Happiness and That's When Your Heartache Begins. And he did that as a birthday present for his mama. The king of adorableness. Afterwards, Marion Keisker wrote about his performance, said, Good ballad singer, hold. So his first session was solid, you know, okay, we could bring this guy back, but you know, didn't blow our mind. That My Happiness record

would later sell for $300,000 in 2015 to an undisclosed internet buyer at an auction. Sam Phillips as I mentioned regularly worked with black artists. He was well aware of segregation in the music industry. He knew that no matter how good some artists were, some radio stations would just not play him. Many many years later he would say in an interview for Time magazine, I knew that no matter how good some artists were, some radio stations would just not play him. Many, many years later, he would say in an interview for Time magazine, I knew that for black music to come to its rightful place in this country, we had to have some white singers come over and do black music. Not copy it, not change, not sweeten it. Just do it.

Elvis would become this person. A pretty young white boy whose style incorporated elements of both black and white music that would appeal to the masses. In January of 1954, Elvis recorded another demo acetate at Sun Studio singing, I'll Never Stand In Your Way and it wouldn't be the same without you. But again, nothing really comes of it. But they're like, okay, he's good. He's good.

He's got something. Around the same time, he also failed an audition to be in a local vocal quartet, the Song Fellows, and got rejected to be in the band that Eddie Bond was putting together. And then Bond will open up for Elvis at some show just a few years later. April of 1954, Elvis begins working as a delivery truck driver for Crown Electric Company in Memphis. Starts taking night classes to become an apprentice electrician. So clearly he is not sure that he's gonna have a career in music. But then on June 6 1954 at the suggestion again of this Secretary

Marion Keiskir who also became a DJ station manager Elvis called back to Sun Studios by Marion to have him sing a song Sam Phillips wanted to put on a record and she asked him if he could be there by 3 p.m. and Elvis famously later said I was there by the time she hung up the phone. He initially sang without you but Phillips wasn't happy with his performance there. He asked Elvis what else can he sing. Elvis did a lineup of some popular songs at the time. Phillips was impressed, decided to match Elvis up with local guitar player Scotty Moore and bass player Bill Black, right, the Blue Moon Boys, who would serve as his original band. Next month, July 4th,

Elvis meets Scotty and Bill for the first time. July 5th, after a quote tedious recording session, Elvis, Scotty and Bill broke out into a sped up rendition of the 1946 song That's Alright. That's Alright by Arthur Big Boy Crudup, a black blues singer. And this was one of the, this was the first of five singles Elvis would record and release with the Sun label. And I'd love to play it but after running into a lot of copyright issues with Michael Jackson's music a few months ago I want to avoid any Elvis tracks today unfortunately I'm feeling that his estate's just as aggressive as Michael's when it comes to not not my god not

letting anyone even play a short clip of one of their songs on YouTube. Four days later, July 8th, 1954, local Memphis station, W H B Q is handed over 19 year old Elvis's record for that's all right, uh, by Sam Phillips asked to play it. He plays it and the switchboard lights up like a fucking Christmas tree. So many people called on the station that the station played the song again immediately and then played it another time and another time and another time. It was lightning in a bottle.

Elvis's star was just starting to rise. He was about to start living in a Peckerwood paradise. During the summer of 1954, Elvis, Scotty and Bill, the Blue Moon boys, Blue Moon boys, perform all over the place in bars, small theaters, little clubs with Scotty as their manager. Elvis also continues working for Crown Electric because still not making enough money and music to feel confident that this is definitely gonna be his career. Also pretty funny,

they only had that one known song and that's what the crowds came for and we just played constantly. Johnny Cash later recalled catching one of Elvis's early shows that summer and watching him sing That's Alright over and over and over. He said like a record stuck on repeat. And the crowd, mostly teen girls, apparently didn't find that weird. They fucking loved it. That'd be so weird as a performer. Hey everybody, I think you'll enjoy this next little number. Since it's the same as the previous number. All right boys, let's kick it off. That's all right. You know, sing the song. Thank you very much. Oh, you're making a young man feel welcome.

Making a man feel like you want to hear more of him crowd cheers. Well, I got more for you We call this next number. Well, that's all right, then just sings like five more fucking times a row Thank you very much. Thank you very much. Thank you very much We have time for one more song. Hope it gets you in the mood for some backseat bingo after the show How about a little more of that's all right? I Wonder like after summer of doing that he just wanted to fucking punch the radio every time I heard that song while he wouldn't cut his first full album for a few years he

would learn a variety of other songs cut for the singles that would do well but not become pillars of Elvis's catalog and round out the show a bit Elvis's recording engineer bones how that's a fucking great name for a recording engineer. What's up? What's up, Bones? He later described his early recording sessions process in a 1971 book. Everyone who fucking met Elvis wrote a book about Elvis. This is a book called A Biography. And Howe said, so what it boils down to was Elvis produced his own records. He came to the session, picked the songs, and if something in the arrangement was changed, he was the one to change it. Everything was worked out spontaneously. Nothing was really rehearsed. Many of the important decisions normally made previous to a recording session were made during

the session. What it was, was a look to the future. Today everybody makes records this way. Back then Elvis was the only one. He was the forerunner of everything that's record production these days. Consciously or unconsciously, everyone imitated him. People started doing what Elvis did. That's pretty awesome. He was a true artist. October 2nd, 1954, Elvis performed at the Grand Ole Opry in Nashville, Tennessee for the first time and it did not go well.

Someone there actually suggested that he focus on truck driving. Elvis obviously didn't listen. Elvis, Scotty, and Bill all quit their day jobs in mid-October to focus on recording more and touring. Now they were just 100% professional musicians. October 16, 1954, the trio appears on a live and very popular Saturday night country music radio show called the Louisiana Hayride, broadcast out of KWKH radio in Shreveport. The show was like the main competitor of the Grand Ole Opry radio show at the time. Louisiana Hayride carried by 190 stations in 13 states,

exposing the band to a much wider audience and Elvis fucking killed it. So much so that the station's producers asked him to sign a year-long contract to keep coming back and performing regularly for them right there on the spot. Right? How exciting for a young dude. He's just 19. A month later, November of 1954, Elvis signs the one-year contract for multiple Saturday night appearances on Louisiana Hayride. This is a big breakthrough moment for him and his popularity grows rapidly. But at the same time, his continual Saturday commitments prevent him from traveling outside the South and he remains a regional act. A few months later, January 1st, 1955, Elvis

signs a new contract with manager Bob Neal. Two weeks later, Elvis is connected with a man named Colonel Tom Parker through Louisiana Hayride. On January 15th, Parker was a promoter, manager, connected with different acts and Hayride. He was a manager for country stars Hank Snow and Eddie Arnold at the time. I'd never heard of Hank but he was fucking huge. Born in 1914, he started recording in 1936 and would record a ridiculous a hundred and forty albums between 1936 and 1966. And Parker will soon kick Bob Neil to the curb and will serve as Elvis's manager for the rest of his life. We'll learn more about this shady son of a bitch down the timeline.

Don't worry about Bob. He was fine. He'll go on to manage Johnny Cash and a bunch of other artists. February 6, 1955 Elvis played Elvis played two shows at the Ellis Auditorium in Memphis with his band. In between shows he met Colonel Tom face to face for the first time at a cafe. His manager Bob Neal was also there. During the cafe meeting the three men sat at a table, decided to work together to make Elvis a household name. Throughout 1955, Elvis, Scotty and Bill continued to tour, do shows with other

country stars, Colonel Parker becomes much more involved with the tour, gives them a chance to tour with Hank Snow. Band also takes on a drummer named DJ Fontana or Fontana. And Elvis's pelvis really gets going in 1955. Those hips were agirating more and more on stage making a lot of pennies very wet. Young women, teenage girls fucking loved Elvis. I'm sure that gave Colonel Tom a lot of confidence regarding Elvis's chances of becoming a household name and heart

throb. Elvis sometimes reminds me of a much more attractive Roy Orbison. Roy was fucking phenomenal. He first signed with Sun Records in 1956. My mom loves Roy. Not a sex symbol. Roy looks like a dude who played in a rockabilly cover band on the weekends when he wasn't working on people's taxes. Elvis had Roy's voice, sound, and then the looks. Already in 1955, girls getting excited when they see Elvis perform. So excited they're doing shit like passing out, breaking through security barricades, you know just having fucking nervous breakdowns. It's crazy. August 15th, 1955 Elvis signs an official management contract with Hank Snow Attractions,

which was equally owned by Snow and Colonel Tom Parker. Bob Neal continues to work with Elvis in an advisory role, but Colonel Parker is now Elvis's exclusive manager. And soon Snow will be no longer connected to Elvis. It'll just be Tom. Let's talk about Tom Parker aka the Colonel. Bit more now. He was a Dutch immigrant who moved to the US as a teenager. His birth name was Andreas Cornelius Van Quuk and he was born in Breda, a city in the south of the Netherlands, June 26, 1909. He arrived via transatlantic ship in Hoboken, New Jersey in 1927, connected with some biological family in New Jersey, but soon disappeared after he told

him that he got a job on the Holland America shipping line. Parker now returned to the Netherlands but then left the Netherlands again unexpectedly in 1929, informed his family he was safe and then cut off all contact with him. So what happened? Well, years later, Dutch journalists potentially connected Parker to an unsolved murder in Breda. That year, a 23-year-old grocer's wife was killed in what looked like a robbery gone wrong. Is it possible that Parker killed her and fled the country?

That's what some think. Andreas Van Quaak changed his name to Tom Parker, joined the US Army under a false identity upon his return, was discharged in 1931. He then re-enlisted but then deserted in 1932. He was captured, punished with solitary confinement, and in solitary confinement he suffered a psychotic break. And then he was discharged again in 1933. After leaving the military, Parker now gets a job in the traveling circus as a horse trainer.

This guy led quite an adventurous life. Some sources say he had a very similar personality to P.T. Barnum. He even called Elvis my attraction. Tom Parker given the nickname of Colonel in 1948 by Louisiana Governor Jimmy Davis for assisting with his campaign. Reminds me of Colonel Sanders, right? Honorary title. And from there he transitioned into the music industry. Parker managed Elvis' career with an iron fist, dedicating his life to making Elvis a star at any cost,

because he believed in his talent and also because if Elvis were to get rich, so would he. Elvis reportedly disliked confrontation, felt isolated and insecure in his fame, and Parker used that to his advantage by allegedly threatening that he would lose everything if he didn't follow the Colonel's orders. Parker was an undocumented immigrant. He did not have a passport, never became a naturalized citizen. He claimed he was born in Huntington, West Virginia, but his true identity was revealed when his family saw him in a photo with Elvis.

The Colonel would also consistently shoot down lucrative opportunities for Elvis to tour overseas, including the government of Saudi Arabia offering Elvis $10 million in 1975, equivalent to about $60 million today for one fucking show. Allegedly because he was afraid he'd be caught by immigration if he tried to get a passport. He was still an illegal immigrant at that point. He didn't want to let go of his control over Elvis, so he would sabotage opportunities for him to tour anywhere without him. Also at the time, the standard fee for managers was 10 to 15 percent of what the talent is paid,

just like it is today. Parker started off with 25 percent, later increased that, and 25 percent's already criminal, 25 percent increased that to 50 percent, which is just fucking straight up robbery. At times, Parker would make more money than Elvis off of Elvis's shit, which is so fucked up. At times Parker would make more money than Elvis off of Elvis's shit, which is so fucked up. In addition to his 50% cut, he would sometimes charge additional fees to act as an advisor, a consultant, a technical director, etc. 1997 The Washington Post reported, The two made unimaginable amounts of money.

For Presley, what he received was so much more than he ever expected that it was apparently more than enough. For Parker, what started out as concern for his clients' needs was gradually replaced by a fiscal greed that only a Wall Street shark could appreciate. Reflecting on Elvis' career, many, if not most of Elvis' diehard fans and biographers would criticize the choices Parker made heavily. He doesn't seem to be a good do. Washington Post claimed that Elvis was, quote, castrated by Parker's choices throughout the 60s because he didn't do any concerts from 1961 to 1969. Elvis became unimaginably wealthy and famous but his career might have actually

reached greater heights had he not had such a morally dubious and controlling and complicated manager. November 20th 1955 now backing up Elvis signed his first contract with RCA Records based in New York City, Colonel Parker negotiated the sale of his son contract to RCA. That contract included his first five singles and other unreleased songs. Sale cost $35,000 with a $5,000 bonus going to Elvis. RCA re-released his five singles on their label and Elvis also signed a contract with Hill and Range Publishing Company to establish a firm called Elvis Pressey Music Inc. He would share publishing ownership of songs recorded by him and purchased by Hill and Range. By this

point Elvis was now the hottest new star in the music business. And in 1956 he became even more popular. He became a heartthrob as famous as the Beatles when they later became so famous in 1964 when they played on the Ed Sullivan show. 1956 in Jacksonville, Florida a judge was so worried about Elvis's growing cultural influence that he wrote out a preemptive arrest warrant for Elvis for quote, impairing the mortals of miners. Stating that Elvis was to literally be arrested should he ever dangerously swivel his hips in the Sunshine State. Why is Florida's government been so fucking ridiculous for so long? It's a beautiful state, but holy shit, let it be known that if Elvis Aaron Presley should

ever gyrate his hips in a sexually egregious manner, filling pure virginal Florida young ladies' minds with satanic, vaginal, moisture-inducing visions of the orgasmic, thigh-shuddering pleasure in erect, throbbing penis being rotated around by said hips could provide to them, I will not hesitate to imprison this young square-jawed mega-chad for the crime of making the youth think that sexuality is something that should be enjoyed. If you're a young meat sack, listen to this. Let moments in history like this remind you that a lot of us adults, including adults who have been appointed to culturally esteemed positions such as judges, a job that in theory

is reserved for people with the soundest minds and shrewdest, wisest judgments, are actually wildly irrational fucking idiots. The world is, and has always been, and likely likely always will be full of a lot of very successful people I wouldn't trust to wipe my fucking ass. A lot more confidence in brains. So please always feel free to question authority. Hylen Imran. And now Lusifena demands that I return to talk about how how sexy young Elvis was. For an early concert in his hometown of Tupelo, a hundred National Guard members

had to surround the stage to keep a riot from breaking out. A riot that would have been composed largely of teen girls and young women ready to let Elvis impregnate them. And teen boys and young men fucking furious that these women and girls were way more into Elvis than they were into them. In the beginning of 1956, an outraged Ed Sullivan Sullivan upset by Elvis's brazenly sexual performances declared that he would never ever have Elvis on his show. But by the end of the year he changed his mind because Elvis had become such a cultural phenomenon that Sullivan relented worried I'm sure about being culturally irrelevant if he didn't. 60 million people will tune in to Elvis's Sullivan debut, which was 80% of America's total viewing

audience. 80% of all of the TVs in America tuned in to watch the handsome Peckerwood devil in the blue suede shoes telling America's youth they weren't nothing but hound dogs crying all the time. By January of 1957, Ed Sullivan will be telling his audience that Elvis is a decent fine boy. Fast turnaround on that one. Back in other bit, January 10 10, 1956, RCA held the first of Elvis' recording sessions at their Nashville studio. By the end of the year, he'll incredibly already account for over 50% of the label's record

sales. One of his earliest recorded songs for RCA was Heartbreak Hotel. January 27, 1956, the single's Heartbreak Hotel and I Was The One released on vinyl by RCA. In the first three weeks on the market, the record sold 300,000 copies. Remained at number one on Billboard's Pop Singles chart for eight weeks. Also hit number one on the country chart, number five on the R&B chart. Massive crossover appeal. With country music was consumed by an almost exclusively white audience that time. R&B music consumed by an almost exclusively black market at that time. And this was

Elvis's first single to sell over a million copies and he would earn a gold record award. He currently has a hundred and seventeen gold records. He has more gold platinum and multi-platinum recording industry Association of America artists records you know than anyone else. 171 gold records, I'm sorry 117 gold records, 94 platinum records, 34 multi-platinum records. He has sold internationally, they say, you know, his estate says over a billion, you know, units, over 150 million in the US alone. Staggering numbers. Elvis made his first network TV appearance on January 28th,

1956. He turned 21 just three weeks earlier. Elvis and his band appeared on Jackie Gleason's stage show on CBS. His performance was so well received, he was invited back immediately to perform five more times over the next two months. Just blowing up. February 1956, Elvis' fifth and final single with Sun Records is released. I forgot to remember to forget. Backed with Mystery Train.

Reaches number one on Billboard's National Country Singles Chart. March 23rd, 1956, RCA ships out Elvis's first full-length album titled simply Elvis Presley. It'll sit at number one on Billboard's Pop Album Chart for 10 weeks and became his first album to exceed a million dollars in sales and helped him land a film deal. March 25th, 1956, Elvis arrives in Hollywood, Showbiz, to start a two-part screen test for Paramount Studios. A little over a week later, April 3rd, Elvis appears on the Milton Berle show. It's on NBC for the first time. He sings on the deck of the USS Hancock in San Diego in front of a screaming audience of sailors and their dates. Probably most of these are dates doing the screaming. A few days later flying

back to Nashville for a recording session. He almost dies when his plane gets lost or his pilot you know gets lost and essentially has to make an emergency landing in El Dorado, Arkansas to refuel. And then because now a fuel tank was not properly engaged the plane's engine cuts out mid-flight and almost crashes. Elvis lands unsure if he'll ever fly again, but then later that month he signs a one-picture movie contract with Paramount Pictures, which includes options for six additional pictures. So he will be flying again. A lot. Bouncing around doing concerts, recordings, and filming movies. From April 23rd to May 9th, 1956, Elvis performs at the New Frontier Hotel in Las Vegas, his first Vegas performance.

And he received a quote, lukewarm acceptance from the crowd because his music did not appeal to older adults at the time. Newsweek called his show a jug of corn liquor at a champagne party. I wonder how many of those assholes in the audience that were there that night who didn't understand him and or hated him would brag to people later about how they saw him you know when no one knew him. They saw him in the early days because they're a true fan. He didn't care probably too much about you know Bomba and Vegas that first time. He still has number one album as published on the Graceland website regarding Elvis in 1956. Through all of this the travel and personal appearances around the country

and new Elvis recording sessions and releases continue. The crowds get bigger, wilder, and wilder. Elvis's fame grows dramatically. Some of these shows have to end early due to fans storming the stage. Elvis creates pandemonium wherever he goes. Everywhere but Vegas apparently. Elvis made another appearance on the Milton Berle show June 5th, 1956 where he performed Hound Dog. This performance according to the Grayson website drives the kids in the audience wild and disgust the press and some of the adult viewers. Fucking prudes. Prudes have always sucked, haven't they? What a terrible way to go through life just to be easily disgusted and offended. This ends up being considered one of

Elvis's most controversial performances which is crazy because he didn't even whip his dick out one time and he never even said anything like, who wants to get their pussy fucked? Thank you very much. Elvis was condemned by religious leaders and parents but that only helps cement his popularity amongst the youth. Hell yeah. Time magazine wrote about Elvis's performance in May of that year. Without preamble the three-piece band cuts loose. In the spotlight, the lanky singer flails furious rhythms on his guitar, every now and then breaking a string.

In a pivoting stance, his hips swing sensuously from side to side, and his entire body takes on a frantic quiver, as if he had swallowed a jackhammer. As if he swallowed a jackhammer. That paints quite the picture. Later in 1956, Elvis said about his signature stage moves, some people tap their feet, some people snap their fingers, and some people sway back and forth. I'd sort of do them all together, I guess.

Jack Gould, the New York Times, was one of the many reviewers who did not enjoy Elvis' performance. He wrote, Mr. Presley has no discernible singing ability. His phrasing, if it can be called that, consists of the stereotyped variations that go with the beginner's area in a bathtub. His one specialty is an accented movement of the body, primarily identified with a repertoire of the blonde bombshells of the burlesque runway. And you know who cares about Jack Gould now?

Fuckin' no one. He's completely forgotten. Ben Gross of the New York Daily News, another forgotten critic, hated Elvis even more when he publicly opined that popular music, quote, has reached its lowest depths in the grunt and groin antics of one Elvis Presley. Elvis who rotates his pelvis gave an exhibition that was suggestive and vulgar, tinged with a kind of animalism that should be confined to dives and bordellos. What a couple of tools.

Tepresci's great displeasure, he soon found himself being referred to as Elvis the Pelvis, which he found childish. July 1st, 1956, Elvis appears on NBC's The Steve Allen Show. And he finally fucking snaps. Tired of all the criticism, sick of the critics, right? The moral majority condemning him just consistently. On live TV, he stops playing hound dog and he lashes out saying, You think this is obscene America? You still think this is vulgar?

Well, you ain't saying nothing yet, baby. I'm gonna fuck your daughters America, all of them. And I ain't helping raise none of those babies neither. And they're all gonna grow up to look exactly like their daddy. A constant reminder that the king fucked your family. Well thank you very much." And then he cracked open a can of Whipple and he pounded it. And that was the first time Whipple ever appeared on live television. And he played something unlike anyone had ever heard. love you baby it's now or never how old stuff up because i just drank fifty times a lethal dose of liquid cocaine what's a caffeine equivalent of ten thousand cup coffee

but i can't feel my face and my skin is covered in spiders fuck you fuck your family stay off of my blues play shoes and drink WIPPLE thank you very much

that was fucking crazy uh..., here's what really happened. Right after today's second of two mid-show sponsor breaks. And now it is time to see what happened on July 1st, 1956, when Elvis appeared on NBC's The Steve Allen Show. He performed a toned- down version of Hound Dog, where he dressed in a black and white tuxedo and sang to a basset hound. That's a bummer. I would have preferred some kind of Whipple moment.

He also did a cowboy comedy sketch featuring Andy Griffith. Elvis also, in December of 1956, works out a $50,000 three appearance deal with the Ed Sullivan show, the highest amount ever paid to a performer for appearing on a variety show at that time. The Ed Sullivan show received the highest ratings out of any variety show at that time. And apparently Elvis and Colonel Tom, we're going to make them pay for criticizing him early in the year. Elvis also continued recording, releasing songs and touring throughout the year. Some point in 1956 Elvis played in La Crosse, Wisconsin and freaked out some members of the local Catholic diocese newspaper staff. They sent a letter to the FBI. That's how worried they were.

They actually wrote a letter. These fucking idiots. To FBI director J. Edgar Hoover. Warning that quote, Presley is a definite danger to the security of the United States. Like an adult, a fucking adult, wrote that sentence and believed it. God, so many people should be sterilized. Presley is a definite danger to the security of the United States. How can we feel secure with his pelvis? He wrote, his actions and motions were such as to rouse the sexual passions of teenage youth.

After the show, more than a thousand teenagers tried to gang into Presley's room with the His actions and motions were such as to rouse the sexual passions of teenaged youth. After the show, more than a thousand teenagers tried to gang into Presley's room with the auditorium. Indications of the harm Presley did, just in La Crosse, were the two high school girls whose abdomen and thigh had Presley's autograph. Oh God! He's rousing the sexual passions of the teenaged youth! If he's not stopped soon, they'll be fucking like dogs in the streets!

Society will break down. August of 1956, fucking hate people. August 1956, Elvis began shooting his first film, Love Me Tender, the only movie he ever acted in where he didn't receive top billing. Paramount loaned him to the 20th Century Fox production company for this production. So September 9th, 1956, Elvis made the first of those three appearances on The Ed Sullivan Show, again, most popular show in America. 80%, as I mentioned earlier, of the National View and So September 9th, 1956 Elvis made the first of those three appearances on the Ed Sullivan show. Again, most popular show in America. 80%, as I mentioned earlier, the national viewing audience watched this show. The 60 million people.

Elvis's star soars higher. Right? What a rush that must have been. He's 21 years old, just two years earlier. He had a day job. Known in the music industry, knew who he was. Now he's the biggest heartthrob in America. Probably the whole world.

Right? Meteoric rise. Elvis's first movie, Love Me Tender, premieres New York City two months later, November 15th, 1956. The film was set in the South during the Civil War era. Movie is a hit, receives positive reviews from the critics. According to Graceland's biography on The Singer, Elvis ends the pivotal year of his career when regional popularity gave way to unprecedented national and international fame. The year of 1956 has seen regional popularity gave way to unprecedented national and international fame.

The year of 1956 has seen the beginning of Elvis's souvenir merchandising, the beginning of a successful movie career, huge record sales, history-making record-breaking personal appearances and more. Elvis has become the primary symbol of the new youth culture in America. He has also become one of society's most controversial figures. His unique blend of white country and gospel music, black R&B and gospel, white pop music, his particular brand of charisma and talent, and the resulting success and controversy have helped him greatly to begin without

premeditation, a cycle of change in music and pop culture, and the mores of American society. Nothing will ever be the same for Elvis Presley or for the world. Can you imagine single-handedly changing the culture in a noticeable way of the world? January 6, 1957. Elvis makes his final appearance on The Ed Sullivan Show. Still upset, he would hold a grudge from time to time with Ed criticizing him early in the year. He sings Hound Dog again while brutally sodomizing Ed in front of his own staff and audience.

Live television was the fucking craziest shit that anyone had ever seen. You ain't nothing but a hound dog, cropping all the time Well, you better keep your mouth shut, then you ain't no friend of mine Well, they said that you was hard-classed, well, that was just a lie Yeah, they said that you was hard-classed, but I'm coming in your eye Yeah, you ever say shit again, Ed, I'll fuck you a second time. Elvis broke his own record, this performance. Over 75 million people, 99% of the total view nods of America, watch Ed Sullivan get buttfucked for approximately three minutes on live TV.

And near the end, start to seemingly enjoy it. While Ed would deny it for the rest of his life, based on his facial expressions and grunting noises, it was pretty clear that he came. And again, here's what really happened. Elvis was only filmed from the waist up for this performance because his suggestive dance moves were just, they were too much. You gotta keep the kids at home safe from his rotating, hypnotic pelvic thrusts. We must protect the youth!

Ed Sullivan tried to defuse the controversy about Elvis by coming on stage and thanking him. And then that's when he told the audience and viewers that he was a decent fine boy. And a delight to work with. This was important for Elvis because, you know, Sullivan was like a kingmaker this time. He was considered the most influential person in TV, which is fucking crazy to me. I don't know if you've ever watched the old Ed Sullivan show. He had like the charisma of a chalkboard I'll never understand why that show was so popular

Elvis started production for his second film loving you that same month also started dying his hair his signature black at the time And yeah, he did not have black hair. He was born a blonde by the time he was an adult kind of sandy blonde brunette I thought he was always had black hair, but nope. He died at jet black. Started dying it because he felt it came across better on TV, right, when a lot of people watching black and white. Color TV existed but wasn't really affordable until the 1960s. That black hair popped. March 25th of 1957, Elvis purchases the Graceland mansion in Memphis, Tennessee. He buys it for himself, his parents, his paternal grandmother, the Memphis Mafia. The mansion, which was over 10,000 square feet at the time of purchase, he would renovate

it more and increase it. It was surrounded by 13.8 acres of land and it cost him $102,500. Vernon and Gladys were the first ones to see the mansion. They put down $1, dollars on March 16th. How cool for them. Family had moved to Memphis with nothing less than a decade earlier now living in a big mansion with baby boy. They officially moved in May 16th, 1957 and then Elvis began living there on June 26th, 1957. Graceland originally part of a 500 acre cattle farm owned by the SD2 family. originally part of a 500 acre cattle farm owned by the SD2 family. The land had been part of the family for generations, was named after a relative known as Grace. Grace's niece,

Ruth Brown Moore and her husband Dr. Thomas Moore built and managed in 1939. Moore, a professor of urology at the University of Tennessee after the Moore's move out. Mrs. Moore allowed a church to use the property for picnics, weddings and gatherings. Elvis wanted a huge place because he wanted his immediate family with him when he was home. Also wanted to be close to his staff, his entourage, right? The Memphis Mafia taking care of business and they would spend a lot of their time at Graceland when he was home. Elvis particularly fond of his cook Mary Jenkins Langston who will pass away at the age of 78 in June of 2000. She started working with the family in

Graceland in 1963, continued working for them for a dozen years after Elvis died. In 1996, Langston did an interview for the BBC documentary, The Burger and the King, which talked all about Elvis's super weird eating habits. Let's talk about that. Excuse me. Elvis loved food, as most of you I'm sure know. And he loved super shitty, the worst it was for you, the better, comfort food. As a little kid, he grew up eating anything and everything. A lot of southern poor people grub, right? Squirrel meat, pig feet, collard greens, chitlins, a variety of peckerwood casseroles. He loved meatloaf, cheeseburgers, chicken fried steaks, caramel cakes, banana pudding.

Langston said he said that the only thing in life he got any enjoyment out of was eating. That guy was an emotional eater, clearly. Langston described a typical meal for the king, saying for breakfast he'd have homemade biscuits fried in butter, sausage patties, four scrambled eggs, fried bacon. I'd bring the tray up to his room. He'd say, this is good, Mary. He'd have butter running down his arms. She said, my God.

His favorite snack was a fried peanut butter banana sandwich, which sounds fucking disgusting. And I like peanut butter. I love bananas. You know that. Come on. And I guess it had to be made just so. Elvis didn't accept Langston's first five attempts of making the sandwich. His dad Vernon then suggested Langston toast the bread before she fried it. She had to use two sticks of butter for every three sandwiches Elvis requested. Sweet Jesus. Almost a full stick of butter per every three sandwiches Elvis requested. Sweet Jesus. Almost a full stick of butter per sandwich. Langston recalled, it would just be floating in butter. You'd turn it and turn it and turn it until all the butter was soaked up. That's when he liked it. Clearly this dude was not lactose intolerant.

That sandwich would fucking blow my butthole through the bottom of the toilet. Elvis would ask for this sandwich at all times of day and night. God. He also loves something even more decadent called Fool's Gold Loaf. This is the most like ridiculous thing I've ever heard of somebody consistently eating. To make this monstrosity, you preheat the oven to 350 degrees, take a loaf of uncut Italian white bread. You cut it in half lengthwise. Slather each side with butter. So much butter. Just the more butter the better. Bake the bread for 15 minutes. While the bread's baking, you pan fry a pound of bacon. Then you take the bread out of the oven. You hollow it out.

Then you add a full 16 ounce container of peanut butter. Creamy peanut butter to one side of the bread. Another full 16 ounce jar of grape jelly, that's on the second piece of bread, then you add a half pound of bacon to each side and then you just fucking close up this monstrosity and sometimes he would actually deep fry it after all that and then he would eat the entire fucking thing in one sitting. It's over 8,000 calories, four times the amount of daily calories recommended for an average sized man for the whole day. Towards the end of his life Elvis was rumored to have two of these

motherfuckers cooked up for him and he would eat all of one and part of another. I would literally throw up and be wrecked for hours if not days with diarrhea if I had half of one of these. I'd probably get dizzy, might get a fever, probably hallucinate. Food like this, food and so many pills would eventually catch up with and kill the king. Back to his indulgent cook, Elvis would go on to buy four cars and a house for Mary Jenkins Langston, in addition to paying her more than cooks were being paid at that time, just because he loved her and she took care of him. I came across example after example of Elvis taking care of people

like this. He had a lot of flaws, but man he was extremely generous. Jerry Schilling, a member of Elvis's Memphis mafia, told the Memphis Face Paper, the commercial appeal, after a while when someone's here at Graceland on a daily basis, they become family. And that's how Elvis thought of her. And actually he reminds me that way of Larry the Cable Guy randomly. Same way at the height of the blue collar comedy tour. Same way with his people. I saw it firsthand. Benefited from it actually. Very generous guy with his money. Rare but comforting to know that people like that exist. Elvis also kept a bunch of animals at Graceland. Reminds me of Michael Jackson in Neverland Ranch just minus the super creepy molestation sleepovers. Vernon C. Gladys raised chickens and hogs on the property

and Elvis kept a pet turkey named Bowtie. He had a minor bird, a member of the Starling family, that he taught to repeat excuses for why he couldn't come to the phone. I guess his bird would say, Elvis is asleep! Elvis isn't available! Elvis isn't here! Pretty awesome. He was sent a wallaby twice by some Australian fans, donated both animals to the Memphis Zoo. Not sure how he sent a wallaby through by some Australian fans donated both animals to the Memphis Zoo

Not sure how you send a wallaby through the mail, but I guess they did it somehow He owned peacocks for a while, but they kept scratching at their reflections on his car. So we shipped them off to the zoo owned multiple horses donkeys and dogs and best part I Love this part so much did not know this about Elvis just like Michael Jackson had bubbles to chimp Elvis had a fucking chimp name scatter Scatter the chimp. Elvis had a fucking chimp. Name's Scatter. Scatter the chimp. He purchased him in 1961.

And he was fucking weird with Scatter, just like Michael was weird with Bubbles. When you become the most successful musician in the history of your musical genre, I guess you're just supposed to get a crazy chimp. Is Taylor Swift about to get a chimp? I'd love that. Start dressing it like her, bringing it

to the recording studio, ask it what he thinks of her new songs. Scatter was formerly owned by local TV personality in Memphis, Captain Bill Killibrew. And like most chimps who are owned by people who treat them like people, he became very difficult to control. Elvis and the Memphis Mafia would let Scatter drink whiskey. Apparently he loved it. They also thought it was funny to dress him up in little suits drive him around in Rolls-Royce for a few years he would travel all around with Elvis he would get drunk he would trash dressing rooms hotel rooms film sets he would terrorize Elvis's co-stars Elvis brought

the chimp on the set of the movies GI blues Blue Hawaii jailhouse rock he liked to walk around with him carry him around between takes and scatter was apparently a fucking menace with women he liked to pull in the him, carry him around between takes. Uh, and scatter was apparently a fucking menace with women. He liked to pull in the dresses, like to try and look up them. A trick apparently taught to him by some Memphis, Memphis mafia members who thought it was funny. He would try and pull women's blouses down, uh, grab with their boobs. He got drunk.

He would just full on masturbate in front of people. You sometimes bit people. It's fucking insane. And then scatter met his demise in Graceland not long after ripping off one of the maid's wigs. I guess he scared the shit out of her and then died soon afterwards and some Memphis Mafia members thought that she poisoned him. And I know that's sad, but if true, could you blame her? Can you imagine if your boss had an alcoholic chimp that would beat off in front of you?

Try and fucking pull off your clothes? Try and molest you That's some crazy shit to deal with at work How's work on Janice? Ah Good for the most part my boss is generous really generous work isn't that hard but But what it's just but his goddamn monkey scatter The next time that motherfucker tries to grab my tip or pull off my dress and beats off I'm gonna fucking kill him Back to the 50s now and that brief little tour of Graceland

Elvis spent most of his time away from home as famous musicians tend to do April 2nd and 3rd 1975. He did his first international shows in Toronto and Ottawa August 31st Elvis performs in Vancouver and that would be his final performance outside the US for the remainder of his life. And his thought again that that was because of his manager Colonel Tom not wanting to travel outside the US because he didn't have a real passport. October 17th 1957 Elvis's movie Jailhouse Rock premieres in Memphis. Film opens nationally on November 8th quickly reaches number 3 at the box office.

Jailhouse Rock considered one of Elvis's best acting performances in a classic of rock opera movies. The dance sequence to the film's title song, choreographed by Elvis, often cited as Presley's greatest moment on screen. The Jailhouse Rock production number is also called the grandfather of pop rock music videos, which were popularized later in the 80s. A cult classic in 2004, Jailhouse Rock was selected for preservation in the U.S. National Film Registry and was deemed a culturally, historically, and aesthetically significant

film. On November 10th and 11th, 1957, Elvis performs his first shows in Hawaii, also his last public appearance before he joins the Army. Before talking about his service, I just want to say that if you want to watch one video about Elvis on YouTube, you get a feel for how much his fans loved him in the early years at the peak of his sex symbol status before he went into the military. Watch just the first 30 seconds of a video titled Elvis Presley Fan Reactions 1950s posted on Danielle Walden's YouTube channel. It's just footage of teenage girls in the 50s

losing their fucking minds at his concerts. Like, it looks like they're having, honest to God, nervous breakdowns. If there was no music in the video, just no title, it would be hard to tell if they were scared for their lives, thought they were about to die, or if they'd just been dosed with some hallucinogen or just tripping balls,

if this is footage of them in an insane asylum, if they're literally being visited by God, or about to be attacked by a hammered and horny scatter the chimp or seeing like a UFO land in front of them or were just told their entire family was murdered. They're crying, convulsing, freaking out. Some of them just seem dazed and lost like shell shocked. A lot of them look like they're about to faint. Some look angry for some reason. They're just Their emotions are all over the place. They just have more emotion than they know what to do with. And then collectively, all of these fans get real sad and scared when Elvis's early career

is disrupted and he is drafted into the U.S. military due to the Korean War. You know about that war. It's the war that John Bon Jovi was there to write so many songs about, according to me, in some past episodes of No One Else. Now Elvis fears that all his success will vanish while he's away. December 16, 1957, the Memphis Draft Board announces Elvis will soon receive his draft notice. Elvis said about his impending military duties per the Arizona Daily Star, I'm kind of proud of it. It's a duty I've got to fill and I'm going to go do it.

On December 24, 1957, Elvis requests a brief deferral to finish filming the movie King Creole. He is granted the deferral and given an induction date of March 24th, 1958. From late January to early March 58th, Elvis' film recorded his fourth movie, King Creole, considered another one of his best acting performances. Meanwhile, tens of thousands of fans are sending letters to the draft board begging them, please give Elvis an exception. A lot of tears shed by a lot of horny, love-struck teens afraid that their dream of marrying their blue-eyed, pervy, chimp-loving crooner will be destroyed if he dies fighting. March 24th, 58, Elvis is inducted into the U.S. Army at the Memphis Draft Board.

He receives his haircut at Fort Chaffee, Arkansas, March 25th, which was a major press event, right? His signature locks, his sideburns shorn right off. Oh, I'm sure so many tears were shed over that. A lot of fucking pillows punched and frustrated. Why God? Why are you doing this to Elvis? Before he left, Colonel Tom Parker has Elvis record a ton of singles to be released while he's away to keep his star from fading. He arrives Fort Hood, Texas for basic training March 28th, stationed there for six months. He will move Vernon and Gladys into a house near Fort Hood so they can be with him when he's not on duty. Rockstar and a mama's boy. Only child still needs to be coddled and adored by his parents. I am fascinated by that need in adults. Like I love my parents. I would never in a million

years want to live with them or just be around them all the time Both my parents and I have a pretty different, you know interest in lifestyles I guess if it matched up and you truly enjoyed each other's company all the time. Why not? But I don't know During his post basically on June 10th 1958 Elvis has his last recording session until 1960 July 2nd the movie King Creel opens nationally received the best reviews out of all of Elvis's films Makes it into the top 5 of the box office. The movie is set in New Orleans, based on the Harold Robbins novel, A Stone for Danny Fisher. August 8th, Gladys Presley gets sick, returns to Memphis to be hospitalized for acute hepatitis.

Elvis is granted emergency leave, arrives in Memphis August 12th, which was good because he was now able to visit his beloved mother twice before she dies early on August 14th. Dies young, 46 years old. Her funeral held August 15th buried at Forest Hill Cemetery near Graceland. Vernon and Elvis both seen mourning later outside of Graceland. According to author Peter Gwirlnick who wrote Careless Love, The Unmasking, or excuse me, The Unmaking of Elvis Presley, they had their arms around each other and were sobbing uncontrollably oblivious to the presence of anyone Elvis was interviewed by some reporters about how he was holding up the day of her funeral he cried throughout the interview she's all we lived for he sobbed she was always my best

girl and that fucking sucks right not even fame and fortune can protect you from loss Grim Reaper doesn't care how much money you got or how beloved you are Elvis only 23 years old when his mom dies completely devastated by her loss And then doesn't have you know much time to really kind of you know process it to degree before he has to get back to His military duties he returns to Fort Hood August 24th 1958 September 19th of that year Elvis boards a train to New York, then boards a USS Randall to sail to his assignment in Germany, and he'll arrive in Germany October 1st. He was stationed in Friedberg for 18 months,

maintained an off-base home in Bad Nauheim Bad Nauheim that he shared with his father, grandfather, and some Memphis mafia buddies. Got to have his entourage everywhere. Elvis's European fan base grows during his time in the military and he maintains a massive fan base in the US eagerly awaiting his return. 1959, another big year for Elvis. It doesn't hit any new milestones with his career but he does meet his future wife Priscilla in Germany. August 15th of 59, Captain Joseph Baaljuh moves from

Texas to the Wiesbaden Air Force Base in Friedberg, Germany with his wife and children. One of his daughters is 14-year-old Priscilla Ann. Priscilla Ann Wagner, later Baaljew, born May 24th, 1945 in Brooklyn, New York. Only child from Anne Bollews, I think it's like Bollews, tough French word for me. Married to her first husband, James Wagner. Wagner was a Navy pilot who died in a plane crash when Priscilla was just an infant. Ann remarried in 1948.

Now Joseph, fucking B word last name, raises Priscilla as his daughter. And on September 13th, 1959, a mutual friend invites Priscilla to a party at Elvis's home off base. Like many teen girls, Priscilla was a fan of Elvis. Her dad had given her her first Elvis record when she was 11. He had told her, I don't know what this Elvis guy is all about, but he must be something special. I stood in line with half the armed forces at the PX to get this for you.

Everybody wants it. That day, Priscilla was sitting with her brother Dan at the Eagles Club, popular dinner spot for American military families. She saw a man in his 20s watching her. She had noticed him checking her out before. He now comes up to her and her family, introduces himself as Curry Grant. He asks if she likes Elvis. When she says she does, he invites her to join him and his wife at Elvis' home.

Her syllabus again, 14 years old. So she has to ask her parents for permission. Curry spends the next two weeks meeting her parents while her father checks out his credentials, and I'm not sure he checked him out hard enough because Curie was a fucking creep who wrote a book later admitted to being a sex addict who had the hots for this 14 year old. Curie promised Priscilla's dad she'd be chaperoned at Elvis's home. Once her parents granted permission Priscilla was taken to Elvis's house introduced to the singer who was 10 years older than her. When that really matters he is 24 she is 14. She is a freshman in high school.

He's been a legal adult for six years. He asks her if she's a junior or a senior, but Priscilla tells him she's in the ninth grade. And Elvis says, wow, you're just a baby. Yeah, which is probably why you should fucking just cut it off there. Elvis now plays the piano, sings for the group. Seems like he's mostly singing to impress her.

She thinks she'll never hear from him again after that night, but he calls her house a few days later asking her to come over in the evening. On her third visit to the house, Elvis asks her to come to his room, promises not to harm her and says, I'll treat you just like a sister. This is some fucking creepy quotes. And then once she makes it to his room, he lifts his dick out and he goes, surprise, I don't have any sisters. And I'd fuck them if I did.

Thank you very much. Now he didn't do that, but this is creepy as shit. his room he lifts his dick out he goes surprise I don't have any sisters and I'd fuck him if I did thank you very much now he didn't do that but this is creepy as shit in the bedroom Elvis holds her as he talks to her about how he misses mom when it's time for Priscilla to leave he kisses her and says we have plenty of time little one god holy fucking grooming Batman maybe if you're referring to someone as a little one you're like way too old to date them Maybe if you're referring to someone as a little one, you're like way too old to date them. And look, it was a very different time. Very different cultural norms back then. If Priscilla was 16, not 14, no one would have batted an eye. And while I don't think Elvis was a pedophile, even for this era, 14 is very young and creepy for a 24-year-old man to date.

Priscilla's father insisted on meeting Elvis if she wanted to keep seeing him. Elvis agreed. Priscilla's father told him that he had to pick her up, bring her home for dates. He asked Elvis what his intentions were. Elvis said, Well, sir, I happen to be very fond of her. She's a lot more mature than her age and I enjoy our company. It hasn't been easy for me being away from home and all. It gets kind of lonely. I guess you might say I need someone to talk to. I need someone to diddle, sir, and I'd like to diddle your daughter. He doesn't say the last part. He says, you don't have to worry about her, Captain. I'll take good care of her. In reality, Elvis believed he could

quote mold Priscilla into his ideal woman. He allegedly told a friend that she was quote young enough that I can train her any way I want. And Priscilla will later corroborate that that is what happened to her. And that's what makes this so icky to me. This is, you know, gross now, be gross in 1959. It's the power imbalance in this sexual relationship that bothers me. He's not just older, he's wildly famous and rich. He has all the money, all the power, the fame.

And she has, right, what? Her youth, an incomplete identity that he wants to shape to his will, to his desires. That's not a mature, healthy relationship. He wants a fucking doll that he essentially owns. Someone who adores him lives to serve him. Someone whose identity is connected to his in the same way a young child's identity is connected to their parents but also wants to have a sexual relationship with her. A relationship I'm sure where he sets all the boundaries, right? Where her job is just to always say yes. And I know I know I could speculating here, but for a guy who could have dated so

many attractive women, why does he pick a 14-year-old? I'm guessing his ego has grown so huge already. You know, he's been worshipped for long enough now by so many fans that he wants a relationship with someone who will just worship him in a way that only somebody that young can. His marriage to Priscilla, to me, is the biggest single knock by far against Elvis's legacy. Initially, Priscilla was very much under his control. Of course, she's a kid. She would become more independent as she grows older and wants to have more control of her life, which is what happens when a child becomes an adult. Priscilla wrote in a 1985 article for People magazine, I found myself deeply involved with Elvis. Something in his southern upbringing had taught him that the right girl was to be saved for

marriage. I was that girl. At the same time, he molded me into his woman. I wore the clothes, hairstyle, and makeup of his careful choosing. My parents became confused and bewildered by our relationship. We tried to make them believe that it was proper and platonic. It wasn't. And they wanted to believe me. Whenever they tried to stop us from seeing each other, I

pleaded and cried and made them and myself miserable. In retrospect, I don't think anyone could have stopped me from seeing Elvis. Yeah, her parents are right to be concerned. Priscilla started staying out late with Elvis, which made it difficult for her to get through her school the next day. She was failing some of her classes now. She did manage to get her grades up to at least pass by the end of semester One day Elvis saw how tired she was offered her a handful of pills He told her you don't need to know what they are

They give them to us when we go on maneuvers if I didn't have them not take them throughout the day myself Oh, excuse me. I'd never make it throughout the day myself, but it's okay. They're safe And Priscilla wrote Elvis honestly believed he was doing me a favor by giving me the pills And I'm sure the thought never entered his mind that they could be harmful to him or me. Yeah, Elvis for sure did not have a good gauge on what pills were safe and what ones weren't. If the government were like, hey, these pills are okay for you to take. He's like, well, all right. Well, that's all right.

Let me take all of them. She didn't take them. She instead put them in a keepsake box. She later learned they were dexedrine, a stimulant used to treat ADHD. Elvis took the pills to get through the early wake-up calls in the military. Also then started taking sleeping pills before he was drafted because he suffered from insomnia and occasional sleepwalking. So he's taking uppers to get him up during the day, depressants to go to bed at night. That's a dangerous fucking cycle to get yourself into. He'll never leave this cycle. Priscilla and Elvis continued seeing each other for the remainder

of his service. She fell deeply in love with him. He also had strong feelings for her. Priscilla wrote that she and Elvis did not have sex because he said she was too young. If you're an adult and you're dating somebody you don't want to have sex with because they're too young, you probably shouldn't be dating them. Maybe just don't do that. Elvis served in the military for two years. By 1960, he was eager to leave and return to performing. January 20, 1960, Elvis promoted to sergeant. Granted his full sergeant stripes, February 11, 1960. Would not enjoy that rank long because he would then leave the army March 2.

He would leave Germany, arrive in New Jersey for a press conference on March 3. Officially discharged from active duty March 5th. Elvison arrived in Memphis March 8th for another press conference at Graceland. He said he was worried that his absence had damaged his career, but those fears turned out to be unfounded. In his post-service press conference, Elvison said his time in the military was difficult. Quote, I was in a strange land. In the outfit I was in, we had quite a bit of field duty.

We stayed in the field for six months out of the year and it gets cold in Germany. It's pretty hard to adjust to. And then he added, I had quite a few interesting experiences. Slept out in the snow, ate through rations. I suppose the biggest thing is that I did make it. I tried to play it straight like everyone else. I made a lot of friends that I wouldn't have made otherwise. All in all, it's been a pretty good experience.

The hardest part of the entire military service was being away from the fans, just being away from show business altogether. That was the hardest part of it all. Wasn't the army, wasn't the other men, it was that. It stayed on my mind. I kept thinking about the past all the time, contemplating the future. That was the hardest part. When asked about the photos of him and Priscilla

at the airport when he was leaving Germany, he said, "'Oh, don't you worry about her. "'No, we didn't fuck. "'No, not yet. "'I'm saving her young little puss for later. "'Thank you very much. "'Let it marinate. "'It's all in the up and up. "'I'm gonna didn't fuck. No, not yet. I'm saving her young little puss for later. Thank you very much. Let it marinate. It's all in the up and up.

I'm gonna fuck her. Boy howdy. I'm gonna destroy that puss when it's ripe. When it's ready, like a gentleman. Thank you very much. And then everyone gave him a fucking standing ovation. They broke out in a round of for he's a jolly good fellow. Which then devolved for some reason into singing that in Italian.

Maserati buccare spaghetti, Maserati buccare spaghetti, Maserati buccare Maserati Bugatti spaghetti Maserati Bugatti spaghetti Luigi pizza pie Don't worry about that if you're confused That's alright. You missed a few episodes. It's fine, darling. Everything's fine. Thank you very much But for real when asked about the photos of him at Priscilla at the airport when he was leaving Germany He said there was one girl who I was seeing quite often over there. Her father was in the Air Force and Then the media just didn't press him about Priscilla Instead they asked him if he had a spark with Nancy Sinatra, Frank Sinatra's daughter, who was 20. He just laughed at that. The two had flirted, become close friends, but allegedly did not date. Elvis and Nancy had just met. She greeted him upon his return from Germany

at Fort Dix in New Jersey because he was scheduled to appear on her dad's show. And then they would later film a movie together. On his press conference, Elvis said he needed to cut records, do a TV show with Frank Sinatra, and film three movies. Elvis had his first post-military recording session, March 20th. Part of the session was for his album Elvis' Back, which reached number two on the Billboard Pop Chart. On March 26th, Elvis taped a special called Welcome Home Elvis for Frank Sinatra's Variety Show with ABC.

It paid $125, grand for his appearance. In addition to singing, Elvis soon got back to acting. Between 1960 and 1968, Elvis will star in some 30 movies. And most of them are fucking terrible. Panned by critics, not exactly loved by audiences outside of his most devoted fans. Many will blame Commander Parker, right? For just, uh, or Colonel Parker, excuse me, I always want to call him Commander Tom, uh, for just trying to squeeze as much money out of Elvis's movies as possible, right?

Quantity over quality. In August and September of 1960, Elvis filmed his sixth movie, Flaming Star, which was not panned by critics. He played the son of a white father, a Native American mother who feels torn between two cultures. Flaming Star opened nationally December 22nd. Elvis would earn recognition from a tribal council for a positive portrayal of a Native American. Director and screenwriter Quentin Tarantino will later call the film a truly great 50s western. Maybe the most brutally violent American western of its era, even though it was just outside of the 50s. This is one of two films where Elvis played an indigenous person. In the fall of 1967, Elvis filmed the movie Stay Away Joe, a western comedy.

In this film, Elvis plays another character who is part Native American. Supposedly Elvis was a little bit Cherokee. Some sources say 1 16th. Others say 1 32nd. His great-grandma was supposedly a woman named White Morning Dove who was Cherokee. August, excuse me, October of 1960. The soundtrack for Elvis's movie GI Blues reaches number one in the Billboard album chart, remains there for 10 weeks. Remains on the chart total, in total for 111 weeks. GI Blues, the most successful album

of Elvis's entire career in terms of Billboard chart, kind of like longevity. Blue Hawaii, the best selling album during Elvis's lifetime with 2 million copies sold in the first 12 months. And speaking of Hawaii, March 25th, 1961, Elvis is back in Hawaii for a press conference and an evening performance at Pearl Harbor. It was a benefit concert to raise money for a memorial for the USS Arizona, which sank during the bombing of Pearl Harbor.

This was Elvis's final live non-movie performance for a long time, all the way until 1968. The dude was too busy making movies and cutting soundtracks for those movies to tour for seven years. The show raised $62,000, which helped boost the slow-going fundraising efforts. Memorial was completed in 1963. October of 1961, the soundtrack for the movie Blue Hawaii enters the Billboard chart and will stay there for a full year and a half. It remained in the number one spot for 20 weeks, which is crazy. The album contained Elvis's classic single, Can't Help Falling in Love, which made it to the number two spot.

His song, Good Luck Charm, made it to number one in 1962 and was Elvis's last number one song until 1969, thanks to so many fucking pot-smoking hippies taking over America's music scene. Blue Hawaii opened nationally November 22nd, 1961, considered one of his best movies, top-grossing film of his career. According to the Graceland Biography, its characteristics of a non-cerebral plot,

lavish scenery, lots of songs by Elvis, and lots of pretty girls became the basis for the Presley formula movies of the 60s. This formula characterized most of Elvis's movies and also destroyed his dreams of being a serious actor. Elvis secretly hated most of his movies. He once said in a private conversation, it was just a Hollywood image of me was wrong

and I knew it and I couldn't say anything about it. Elvis was inspired by earlier singers who became respected actors like Bing Crosby, Dean Martin. He said in an interview with Life Magazine, I wanna become a good actor because you can't build a whole career on just singing. Look at Frank Sinatra. Until he added acting to singing, he found himself slipping downhill. What a strange thing for him to think. You absolutely could in that era build an entire career off of singing. Ray Charles fucking crushed it in the 50s and 60s writing hit after hit in touring. Same

for Johnny Cash and many others. Colonel Parker or somebody pushed that false idea in his head that he needed showbiz, needed some Hollywood. Elvis wanted to play serious roles so he could build his action skills, but those few films like the movie Flaming Star where he played a biracial Native American did not perform as well as the other more classic Elvis movies, more formulaic movies. Colonel Parker pressured him to do more of these mediocre films because of the money. He's paid a lot. He earned $500,000 or more per film plus a percentage of net profits. Elvis's movies performed so well they saved the studio allied artists international from bankruptcy. Vernon Presley, his dad, revealed in his 1978 Good Housekeeping article

that Elvis hardly ever watched the movies he made because he didn't like most of them. He he'd been given a million dollars a picture which he was given later plus 50% of the net so he's paid well for his work but he had never but he never had script approval or control of the songs and his pictures or over anything else. Colonel Parker allegedly turned down potential lead roles in better movies like West Side Story and A Star is Born. If he played a leading role in those films you know possibly he could have turned down potential lead roles in better movies like West Side Story and A Star Is Born. If he played a leading role in those films, you know, possibly he could have transitioned from a singer to a serious award-winning actor. Fucking Colonel Parker! Somebody should have gotten Scatter good and hammered. Unleashed that insane chimp's wrath on him. Scatter, by the way,

what a great name for a crazy monkey. Oh shit, the chimp's loose! Scatter everybody, Scatter! Run for your lives. 1962, another important year in Elvis's personal and professional life from June 17th to July 1st. Now 17-year-old Priscilla travels from Germany to visit Elvis in Las Vegas. First time seeing each other in over two years. After Elvis left the army, Priscilla's parents told her that he would probably forget about her.

But Elvis called her 21 days after he left Germany. Did not forget about her at all. Priscilla wrote letters and the two had infrequent phone calls during their time apart. And now Priscilla party with Elvis and his entourage during her trip to Vegas. She took amphetamines, sleeping pills, keep up with his crazy nocturnal schedule of sleeping all day and being up all night. She wore the outfits he purchased for her. Their hair and makeup how he liked. big and dramatic. She was his living doll. She was devastated to leave, but she returned to Graceland for Christmas that year.

Then Priscilla moved to Memphis permanently in early March 1963 while Elvis was away filming a movie when she was just two months away from turning 18. Several months earlier, Elvis asked Priscilla's parents to allow her to move to Memphis and finish high school there. Her parents refused at first, but Priscilla just kept pushing the issue. Eventually allowed her to move because she told them, if you don't let me go, I'll find my way. Elvis assured her parents that she would not be living with him at Graceland. She would live with his dad Vernon and his new wife Dee Stanley, his stepmom. He agreed to enroll her in a Catholic school and make sure she graduated.

Elvis implied that he wanted to marry her. Once Priscilla arrived in Memphis, she enrolled at Immaculate Conception High School. Did live with Elvis' father for a short time, but then soon moved in with Elvis in Graceland permanently. Priscilla regularly stayed out with Elvis and his entourage, the Memphis mafia, till 5, 6 a.m. on school nights. She was exhausted. Her grades were slipping. Elvis was sleeping up to 14 hours a day now due to a combination of the pills he took. Priscilla started to use sleeping pills, diet pills, stimulants to help herself get through school. Although Priscilla was referred to as Elvis's living Lolita, they allegedly did not have sex until their wedding night. However, they were allegedly intimate with each other in

other ways. Mm-hmm. Elvis was also seeing multiple other women at the same time. He was fucking around as much as he wanted. But he of course expected loyalty and devotion from her. Priscilla described herself as Elvis's living doll, to fashion as he pleased. That's her quote. He insisted she have porcelain caps put on her teeth at one point, demanded she improve her posture,

had her dye her hair black, wear elaborate updos, wear whatever colors and styles he preferred at any given time. Priscilla would later tell the Hollywood Reporter in an interview about her early years with Elvis, it was a different time. I lived in his world. I wanted to please him. I wanted to fit in. I wanted to have fun with him. I wanted to see what it was that he liked. In her 1985 memoir, Elvis and Me, Priscilla would write about the psychological and physical abuse she experienced during her relationship and marriage with Elvis. Elvis once gave her a black eye because he lost his temper with her during what had been

a playful pillow fight. Another incident, he threw a chair at her when she criticized the song he recorded. She wrote, if he thought it would teach us a lesson, he'd blow some minor grievance out of all proportion. And even as he was yelling, he'd blow some minor grievance out of all proportion. And even as he was yelling, he might wink at someone nearby. Then 10 minutes later, he'd be fine, leaving us bewildered and emotionally depleted. There are also times you would leave us emotionally uplifted.

He was truly a master at manipulating people. Why the fuck was he doing shit like that? Probably the drugs. It's part of it. All the pills he's taken. And I'm guessing because he never had to face any consequences, right? No one's going to hold him accountable for this behavior. He's in an echo chamber of a bunch of sycophants. People just completely depended on him for their livelihood.

No matter how much he fucked with people, they just stayed around. I'm guessing he knew that they knew that if they left, they were never going to be able to replicate the kind of lifestyle they had with him. July of 1963, Elvis started production for his 14th movie, Viva Las Vegas. Viva Las Vegas opened nationally June 17th, reached number 14 at the box office. Not a great showing, but by the end of the year, the soundtrack outranked the Beatles a hard day's night. Still crushed with music.

Viva Las Vegas considered another tie, one of his high quality or higher quality movies. As mentioned, Elvis had relationships or alleged relationships with many women throughout his life. He dated some of his female co-stars. One of these women was his Viva Las Vegas co-star Ann Margret. Ann Margret Olsen, a Swedish-American actress who has won five Golden Globes, been nominated for two Oscars, two Grammys, six Emmys, and a Screen Actors Guild Award. Ann Margret was six years younger than Elvis, just starting her career when she started the 1963 movie Bye Bye Birdie,

which was not an Elvis movie, but was inspired by Elvis being drafted and featured some Elvis songs. Before filming they had to record the soundtrack and Elvis and Anne Margaret sang three duets, which sparked their romance. Their romance blossomed during filming in Vegas, Elvin and Anne Margaret, seen holding hands, walking into his dressing room together, eating lunch privately. All this while Lisa Marie is waiting for him back home dressed exactly like she's supposed to be. It's pretty fucking dark. They continued their romance after filming. Elvis sent her letters, flowers, a pink heartbed. I had one, you know, like shipped to her.

Then their relationship ended abruptly in 1967. And Anne Margaret would write in her memoir that other factors in Elvis's life forced him apart from me. And what was the main other factor? Him being engaged to Priscilla. Which will definitely throw a monkey wrench into your romantic plans, right? If you know that they're living with somebody else who they're engaged to, somebody they've groomed. Or at least that should throw a monkey wrench into your plans. Anne Margaret also wrote that Elvis was her soulmate.

Laurie Williams, who appeared alongside Elvis in the films Roustabout and Kiss and Cousins, said that Anne Margaret was the love of Elvis's life. But he just couldn't control her, like he wanted to maybe. She's not going to wear whatever he wants, do whatever he asks, when he asks it. 1964, another year of change for Elvis. That year he began a deeper search for the meaning of life. She gets a little weirder for the king. April 30th, 1964 he meets hairdresser Larry Geller who will become his spiritual advisor. That's alarming, right? I don't know that you should

have your hairdresser and spiritual advisor be the same person. Did I mention he's taking a fuck load of pills? Yeah, he's almost never sober. I think that's probably how you end up with a spiritual advisor slash hairdresser. By being high a lot. Elvis was feeling dissatisfied with his film career and his music and life in general. He was trying to find deeper meaning in life. His road manager, Joe Esposito, later said his quote about Vanity Fair, he was always trying to figure out why he was the one picked to be who he was.

Why he was the one chosen. He was into all these things that you couldn't solve. He liked to show his intelligence by trying to find the answers that no one else knew. Elvis and Geller would go on some vision quests together. Oh, fuck yeah, bro. Once they were driving on a rural road outside of Flagstaff, Arizona, and Elvis thought he saw the face of Joseph Stalin in a cloud. God, how high was he? According to Geller, Elva said, Why Stalin? Why Stalin? Of all people, what's he doing up there? What a great fucking bus to be in! Elva's driving the bus, pulls over suddenly, runs outside. Take a better look at Stalin in the clouds. Geller catches up to him. They stand there together. Elva seems joyful. All of a sudden he shouts, It's God! It's God! I'm not sure what they were on,

but it sounds like it's probably pretty fun. Priscilla wrote that she and Elva started experimenting with psychedelics around this time. While a lot of articles about Elva say he never used hard drugs, while publicly he made a big point to make statements during his life about being against weed, being against drugs, very anti-drug, that was bullshit. There were several reports by those who knew him so well like Priscilla, numerous Memphis Mafia members, who said like Jerry Schilling, who said that he did do a fair amount of drugs, a lot more than he led on.

He experimented with LSD for starters, which I should add was legal in the US prior to 1967 and was being promoted by many at the time as a psychological wonder drug. And apparently Elvis dropped acid with Priscilla and Schilling and his hairdresser slash guru, Larry Geller. Elvis would spend a lot of time talking about God's plan for the universe. Which sounds right. If you're not talking about the nature of the universe when you're fucking around with psychedelics, well, you're probably not taking enough. Elvis became interested in shit like Cairo's book of numbers published in 1936 which uses numerology to define personality traits. He used numerology to weed out people who were numerically incompatible with him now.

Oh boy. Cairo birth name William John Warner, just some dude born in Dublin in 1866, ended up in Hollywood before he died there in 1936. Some think he had legit spiritual gifts. A lot of others think he was a grifter. I want to guess he was a grifter. He became a palm reader to the stars, seems to have mainly worked with wealthy old women who he took hundreds of thousands of dollars from. Hard to find good sources on what he did for sure didn't do. Just a lot of rumors

and speculation. Elvis also came to believe that giving into his sexual desires was inhibiting his spiritual growth for a while and briefly experimented with celibacy. Eventually Elvis's manager, Colonel Parker, convinced him that Larry Geller was full of shit, that he was using mind control to manipulate him. And then one night Larry was banished and now Elvis burned all of his spiritual books except for the Bible. And then Elvis remained a Christian a name for the rest of his life but it seems as if his spiritual searching phase was over now. By the end of 1964 Elvis was ranked the sixth biggest money-making star of the year. His single blue Christmas slash wooden heart reached

number one on the Christmas charts. December Colonel Parker negotiated a new movie contract with United Artists and MGM deals that helped him achieve his goal of making a million bucks a movie which loosely translates to about ten million dollars today and he was getting a huge percentage of the profit. 1965 Elvis had a famous encounter with the Beatles. He invited the Beatles to his home while they were on tour. I guess it started off on an awkward note. Beatles former press officer Tony Barrow told the BBC, there was this embarrassing silence between the mega famous five. Stood there facing each other with very

little import being, very little of import being said. According to one story John Lennon asked him why don't you go back to making rock and roll records and Elvis responded it's my movie schedule so tight. The atmosphere then loosened up a little once Elvis started a jam session with the group that'd be cool to see. Lennon will also say that Elvis was stoned the entire time that they were there. Years later Elvis would make some disparaging comments about the Beatles drug use and that will not sit well with the band who felt rightly so that he's being pretty hypocritical. 1966 Elvis experienced a renewed interest in music which prompted him to buy some new

equipment, spend some free time working on that new music. He met a new producer Felton Jarvis May 25th started working on another gospel album called How Great Thou Art. RCA released the album February of 1967 and it won him a Grammy. August 30th, 1966, RCA chose to extend his contract all the way until 1974. Elvis proposed to Priscilla just before Christmas of 1966. It wasn't exactly romantic. Elvis proposed partially because Colonel Parker was worried about a potential scandal that might occur if the two never got married. May 1, 1967, Elvis and Priscilla get married in a private ceremony with a group of family and friends at the Aladdin Hotel in Las Vegas. They then spend a few days in Palm Springs before returning to

Memphis. Priscilla turned 22 May 24th of that year. May 29th, Elvis and Priscilla get dressed up, have a second wedding reception in the trophy room of Graceland for friends and family not in Vegas. Priscilla gets pregnant almost immediately after the wedding. Her pregnancy is announced during the production of Elvis's movie Speedway. 1968, another big year for Elvis, comparable and important to 1956. He stopped worrying about public perception or what Colonel Parker always wanted him to do.

And he started living his own life. Started living for himself for the first time doing shit that made him happy regardless of what anyone else thought. Living an authentic life for once. And that was how he ended up in a new romantic relationship while he's married with Scatter, his chimp. Making this relationship extra shocking is the fact that Scatter's been dead for years now. Fans struggle to accept seeing him kissing, hugging, a mostly decomposed primate in new publicity photos. His new movie that co-starred the dead Scatter, called The Chimp Gimp, was an X-rated flick where Elvis played a BDSM dom and Scatter played his dead sub, and it bombed at the

box office. And by box office, I mean a handful of adult theaters, mainly in LA and New York. And then Elvis was arrested in one of these theaters, caught in the act of literally skull-fucking Scatter. He was charged with a misdemeanor count of desecrating the corpse and a felony count of being a naughty boy who won't go pee-pee in the potty who also fucks dead monkeys. But then the felony charge was dropped because chimps are not monkeys. Priscilla was charged as an accessory to something bad, fulfilling the whole thing as Elvis commanded her to do. I'll stop now. When I added that little section to my notes,

I laughed too hard by myself in Starbucks. I was just thinking about somebody who doesn't know shit about Time Suck. They just want to learn about Elvis. Maybe some older fan. They want to go down memory lane and they're barely able to handle my bullshit up until that point and then that horror, they're out. But seriously, 1968, huge year for the king. January 12th, NBC's Vice President Tom Sarnoff announces there will be an Elvis Christmas special by the end of the year. Elvis and Priscilla's only child Lisa Marie Presley born February 1st of 1968. Priscilla later claimed that after Lisa Marie's birth the two, well she said never had sex

again. I will reference they had sex at least one more time. But Elvis apparently told her that before they were married that he just didn't like to have sex with a woman who's had a child. Okay. Was that why they stopped having sex or did he just get tired of playing with his doll and he wanted a new toy? Did his doll have a mind of her own now and that wasn't fun for him? Did he realize that being in a relationship with someone who just does whatever you tell them is not actually very satisfying? Elvis started rehearsals for his Christmas special in early June

of 1968. Filming takes place June 27th, June 30th. The Christmas special is often called the 68 special or the 68 comeback. Before production started, Elvis spoke to producer Steve Binder and asked him, what do you think of my career? And Binder allegedly told him, I think it's in the toilet. And Elvis constantly surrounded by people always kissing his ass who just say yes to him no matter what, apparently pleased by this honesty and said, well finally someone's talking straight with me. Elvis's manager Colonel Parker wanted him to wear a tuxedo, sing classic Christmas songs. Elvis went against his wishes by wearing leather, singing rock and roll songs with his original band the Blue Moon Boys.

They're fucking back baby! Elvis sided with Parker publicly, but according to author Peter Gwerlnick, he allegedly told Binder to fuck him. I hope that's true. NBC producer Bob Fincke would also later say that Elvis was not interested in what Colonel Parker had to say about this show. He wants everyone to know what he can really do. For Elvis, 1968 started off as a low point career-wise. He felt his music was being overshadowed by newer,

you know, cooler bands like the Beatles and the Rolling Stones, and it was. Bob Finkel offered the directing job to Steve Binder because he was rebellious, had experience directing a concert film, and wanted to create something that would make its mark on music history. Binder asked Elvis what he thought about that

and reportedly said he was scared of death. The name of the special was simply Elvis. It was meant to be a retelling of Elvis's life and career through music featuring hit songs like Heartbreak Hotel, Hound Dog, Jailhouse Rock. Binder told Elvis to perform like he was doing a live concert to reclaim his roots. Elvis was terrified it wouldn't work out. Binder reassured him if the special was successful all the closed doors in his career would reopen. Colonel Parker wanted Elvis to end with a Christmas song at least, you know, one song so he could have a radio hit during the holiday season, but Binder wanted Elvis to end with something different, something personal.

He and Elvis talked about his sadness about the recent assassinations of Martin Luther King, Robert Kennedy, and that led to Elvis's song, If I Can Dream, written by Walter Earl Brown of the Skylarks. According to the Graceland website, one can surmise that he pours out years of career frustration and pent-up creative energy into the performance of these songs. His natural talent, charisma, sensuality, and stage presence have not been diminished by the years in Hollywood. In fact, Elvis' looks, sounds, moves, and grooves better than he ever has.

At 33, he's better than he's ever been and better than anybody in the business. During the special for which he lost weight, was in the best shape he'd been in years, he introduced a new song called Memories. He performed gospel music towards the end of the special performed a lengthy production number with song dance some fucking karate moves. He's doing that now November of 1968 Elvis's single If I Can Dream reaches the number 12 spot his Elvis LP reaches number eight on the pop charts. He's had a good year. And then Elvis's TV special airs December 3rd.

And it was one of the biggest TV hits of the year. Captures the attention of 40% of the viewing audience. It has been said that the 68 special represents Elvis's return to his roots. He was just as sexy as pre-war Elvis. 1956 Elvis is back. Many Elvis biographers cite this special as one of the highlights of his career and also that he'll never recapture the magic that made him a superstar again following this concert. It is considered

one of the greatest TV moments in all of pop rock history and provided a huge boost for the final decade of Ellis's career. The special renewed his creative energy he now started to focus more on music than acting and returned to performing for massive crowds. January and February of 1969, Elvis records in Memphis for the first time since 1955. Did some all-night sessions at American Sound Studio that will be considered some of the best work of his career. The sessions yielded four hit singles that were released in late 1969 and early 1970. In the ghetto, in the suspicious mines. Don't Cry Daddy and Kentucky Rain.

In the spring 1969, Elvis filmed his 31st and final movie, Change a Habit with Mary Tyler Moore. From July 31st to August 28th of that year, he's booked for a four week, 57 show engagement at the International Hotel in Las Vegas. New hotel with the largest showroom in the city. He performs with rock musicians and orchestra, a male gospel backup group, a black female gospel backup group. His performances break all existing Las Vegas attendance records and receive rave reviews. The king is back baby. Thank you very much.

During this engagement Elvis recorded his first live album, Elvis in person at the International Hotel. During this engagement, Elvis recorded his first live album, Elvis in Person, at the International Hotel. Opie nights so successful that manager Colonel Parker immediately renegotiated his contract on a tablecloth in the hotel coffee shop. In September of 1969, RCA releases Elvis' single Suspicious Minds, his first number one single since 1962 and also his last. January and February of 1970, Elvis does another month-long engagement at the International, breaks his own attendance records from the first run. February 27, 1970 Elvis performed six shows

at the Houston Astrodome, first venue outside of Vegas he performed in in many years. And he attracts a total crowd of over 200,000 people, averages over 30,000 people to show and he fucking murders. Also worries about being murdered. During this run of shows his life was threatened. It had been threatened many times over the years. You know he's super famous. A lot of people are crazy. But the FBI took this threat seriously, beefed up security, and it made Elvis nervous enough to perform with not one but two guns on his body during the concert. He performed with a little derringer pocket pistol in his right boot. Caliber not mentioned. And a 45 caliber pistol in his waistband.

I love it. There were some stand-up shows I've done over the years that I would have loved to have been strapped for. It really would change the energy during a heckling situation if the performer could start playing with a gun. I'm sorry, what was that? You said? You know, just points gun at an audience member.

Speak up, motherfucker! You want to dance? Let's dance! Picture Elvis, though, in his white jumpsuit. Right? Big sunglasses, rhinestone cape, pistol in each hand. A little less conversation, a little more action please. Gonna need you to sit down before I blow out your knees. All this aggravation ain't satisfaction in me. A little more biting, a little less bark, a little less fighting, a little more spark a little less bark a little less fight a little more spark close your mouth open up your heart baby satisfy me satisfy me I'll shoot your fucking brains out thank you

very much after recording some more singles July of 1970 Elvis returns to Vegas for the Elvis Presley summer festival another month of shows at the International that opens on August 10th that's awesome he had a festival of just him MGM was present to shoot a documentary cut titled Elvis. That's the way it is and the documentary opened in theaters November 11th 1970 His album with the same title also released that month reached number 21 in the album chart Elvis starts a nine-city tour September 9th 1970s first proper multi-city tour in 13 years December 21st you visit its president tricky dick Richard Nixon at the White House and yes yes you've heard right they did fuck as in fucked around they shot the shit. Years later came out that Elvis revealed his true

feelings about the Beatles during this meeting told Nixon that he thought the Beatles were destroying American culture allegedly saying the Beatles have been a real force for anti-American spirit. The Beatles came to his country, made their money, then returned to England, where they promoted an anti-American theme. The following year, he attended a tour of FBI offices, said to director J. Edgar Hoover, Beatles laid the groundwork for many of the problems that were happening with young people, with their filthy, unkempt appearances and suggestive music. What the fuck?

Like, he was shit on by the press early in his career for the same stuff, right? Destroying American culture. Now he's doing that thing, turning that against the Beatles? Must have been jealous. In 1970 the Beatles were a lot more popular and culturally relevant with the American youth than Elvis. January 16th, 1971, Elvis attends a banquet where he and nine others accept the honor of being one of the ten outstanding young men in the nation, named by the United States Junior Chamber of Commerce. This yearly award recognizes young men who have made great achievements in their field as well as humanitarianism and community service. Elvis said in his acceptance speech,

I'm glad I'm here not the Beatles those fucking mutts those fucking dirty hippies fuck them you know they're trying to destroy American youth or they're fucking the girls you know I'm sick of it and we should murder them we need to get them right now we need to string them up. No, he said, when I was a child, ladies and gentlemen, I was a dreamer. I read comic books and I was the hero of the comic book. I saw movies and I was the hero in the movie. So every dream I ever dreamed has come true a hundred times. I learned very early in life that without a song, the day would never end. Without a song, a man ain't got a friend.

Without a song, the road would never bend. Without a song. So I kept singing a song. Well, good night. Thank you very much. A dude knew how to give a speech. March of 1971, Elvis started a recording session in Nashville. But then had to cancel due to eye pain. He was diagnosed with secondary glaucoma. He was only 36, but now Elvis would suffer from various health issues for the rest of his life.

Which is fucking weird Right. Why him? It's almost like popping pills constantly and eating a bunch of 8,000 calorie bacon peanut butter jelly sandwiches could be bad for you Huh? Summer of 1971 Elvis had a two-week engagement at the Sahara Hotel in Lake Tahoe, Nevada Where he broke more attendance records. Do love Nevada? Him and serial killer Dick Bird. Las Vegas strip strangler. Late summer Elvis completed another engagement at the international now renamed the Las Vegas Hilton International Hotel. Yet again breaks his previous attendance records. Also earns the Bing

Crosby award for the National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences. The organization presents the Grammys. This award later renamed the Lifetime Achievement Award. November of 1971, Elvis goes on a 12 city concert tour. By this point, he's wearing his fucking jumpsuit and cape every show. Fuck yeah. His capes had this sequin eagle design. He felt symbolized strength and freedom. His sequin jumpsuits gave him the flexibility to do a lot of karate dance moves. He also wore a rhinestone encrusted dance belt, basically a jock strap, underneath his jumpsuit. One will be sold at an auction years later and it's so great. So over the top. Right? He's a rock and roll Liberace now. Jumpsuit and cape Elvis is my favorite Elvis. It's just a shame that Scatter was murdered and couldn't have joined him on stage in a

matching jumpsuit and cape. Can you imagine that show? Elvis hopped up on pills, gyrating his pelvis, fucking sweating so much, scatter beside him, openly beating off, clearly drunk. That is some serious showbiz. Are you not entertained? Although Elvis was still enjoying his career resurgence, his marriage with Priscilla is falling apart. Of course it is, right? They never fuck anymore.

Their entire relationship was a manipulative sham. Elvis and Priscilla separated in late 1971, early 1972, and she moved out of Graceland with their daughter Lisa Marie. Both of them had been unfaithful. Elvis was fucking everybody. Priscilla admitted to having an affair with a dance teacher and also with her karate instructor. And I don't blame her. Elvis had been fucking around with her for their entire relationship and largely neglecting her. Mike Stone, that karate instructor, was actually sought out by Elvis. He recommended that Priscilla train with him.

That had to have stung. When he found out that Mike had been treating Priscilla's vagina like his personal dick dojo. Elvis strongly considered hiring a hitman to kill Mike according to some of his Memphis Mafia buddies. He didn't. Mike's still around. He's 80 years old.

I guess I live on some remote island in the Philippines. This dude's interesting. In his prime when Priscilla met him, he won 91 consecutive karate tournament matches and was nicknamed the animal. He and Chuck Norris would sometimes train together. Bruce Lee felt that Mike Stone was the most talented karate point fighter of his era. I have a feeling Mike's quite the character,

dude with a lot of great stories. Elvis must've been a little pissed knowing that there was not a chance in hell that he could use his karate moves, which are only good for the stage, to beat this dude's ass. Mike Stone would have fucking destroyed the king. January and February 1972, Elvis performs at yet another big engagement at the Hilton Vegas. He just owns that place. Then that spring, producers film him recording in Hollywood and on stage during a 15-city concert tour. MGM will use that footage for another doc called Elvis On Tour.

The producers of Elvis On Tour will win a Golden Globe for best documentary in 1972. Elvis's gospel album, He Touched Me, was released in April of 1972 and would earn him a second Grammy for best inspirational performance. He continued touring in June. He played four sold-out shows at the Madison Square Garden in New York City, one of which was recorded for his live album, Elvis as recorded at Madison Square Garden. Pretty direct title. Also pretty funny footage. A lot of fucking karate chops at his Madison Square Garden shows. A lot of weird drama solos with him doing odd

karate moves. So sweaty. He's still facing problems in his personal life. He and Priscilla's separation formalized July 26, 1972. They've been living separately for months now. Now Priscilla is in Vegas for one of his shows. He calls her to his hotel room. She notices he's drunk and Priscilla later wrote, he grabbed me and forcefully made love to me. It was uncomfortable and unlike any other time he had ever made love to me before and he explained this is how a real man makes love to his woman. This is one of the final straws for Priscilla causes her to go through with the divorce. So first time he fucks her in years sounds like a lot like marital rape. Right he's lucky Mike Stone didn't show up and fucking karate chop him to the hotel wall. After

separation Elvis starts openly seeing a woman named Linda Thompson, who is his quote, main female companion for the next four and a half years. Elvis met Linda at a midnight movie screening in Memphis that year. She was 22. He was 37. He was instantly attracted to her. They were kissing by the end of the flick. Thompson wrote that Elvis swept her off her feet with trips and sweet talk. But like Priscilla, she had to deal with his temper, controlling nature, and drug use. September 4th, 1972, at the end of another month at the Hilton, Elvis has a press conference, announces plans for a TV concert to be broadcast worldwide from Hawaii, the first concert of its kind. January 4, 1973. Elvis performs his TV special, Elvis Aloha from Hawaii via satellite.

The show was performed at the Honolulu International Center Arena. It was a benefit for the QE Lee Cancer Fund, QE Lee Hawaiian composer who died of cancer in his 30s. TV special was broadcast in Australia, South Korea, Japan, Thailand, the Philippines, South Vietnam, 30 European countries. In total, this is so crazy, 1.5 billion people in 40 countries watched this special, watched it live. His audience was a billion and a half people. NBC broadcast a special on April 4th. Yeah, sorry, broadcast on April 4th.

It attracted 58% of America's total viewing audience, was seen in more American households than the first walk on the moon. The king is still the king. Tickets for the pre-broadcast rehearsal show and the January 14th concert had no price. Every audience member asked to pay whatever they could and the concert raised around $75,000 for the QE Lee Fund. The Grey Sun website calls the concert one of the pinnacle of his superstardom. One of the all-time great moments in his career. Soundtrack album from the concert reached number one of the, excuse me, the pinnacle of his superstardom. One of the all time great moments in his career.

Soundtrack album from the concert reached number one on the Billboard Pop Album Chart in May of 1973. His first number one album since 1965 on any chart. March 1st, 1973, or I'm sorry, not on any chart. His first number one album on that specific chart since 1965. A lot of charts. March 1st, 1973, Elvis and Colonel Parker sell his music rights with RCA and sign a new management contract, keeping them as 50-50

partners. Elvis enters a new seven-year contract with the record label. This is such a fucking stupid deal. The 50-50 partnership is so fucking stupid. He's been robbed. And then they're selling the Masters. Parker sold the Masters for all of Elvis's recordings for $5.4 million, a fraction of what they were worth. Parker took 50%. Elvis only received $1.35 million after taxes and his giving half away to Parker. And then most of that went to Priscilla and the divorce settlement. Elvis should have fucking fired Parker for even suggesting this scatter. Should have been reanimated and trained to rip his face off, it is estimated this deal cost Elvis's estate over 300 million dollars in royalties as of 1997 per a Washington Post article that year. I would guess

it's now cost them closer to a billion dollars. Parker heavily criticized for this business decision and most others. Yeah amongst diehard Elvis fans again he seems pretty universally hated. August 9th 1973 Elvis and Priscilla appear in court to finalize their divorce. They'll remain amicable for the rest of his life. Share joint custody of Lisa Marie, who's five at this time. Songwriter Mayborn Axton, a friend of Elvis who co-wrote Heartbreak Hotel, would tell People Magazine that when Priscilla left Elvis, it killed him. It hurt his ego and it hurt his heart.

How sad. His little doll didn't want to play with her master anymore. In 1978, Priscilla will tell People magazine, my life was his life. He had to be happy. My problems were secondary. I wanted to grow. I wanted to do things. Priscilla received 1.7 million and eight thousand dollars a month for the next ten years. Then she went on to become a very successful actress herself and businesswoman. Will play a key role in managing Elvis's estate later. She actually killed it in the comedy Naked Gun.

Man, that was one of my favorite movies as a kid. And she was the female lead. Elvis went on tour again in March 1974, returned to the Houston Astrodome, where he set a one-day attendance record with two shows. Also performed in Memphis for the first time since 1961. Had to play four shows to meet demand. His live performance of How Great Thou Art

earned him a third Grammy for best international performance March 1st, 1975. And then he continued touring May, June, July that year. March 75, Barbara Streisand talked to Elvis about starring in that movie A Star is Born. A former offer was made to Elvis April 4th. The Colonel, right? Fuck things up, responds with an overly aggressive counter offer 10 days later and that is rejected. Elvis continues touring in the spring and summer of 75. He opened in Vegas

on August 18th. Ended his engagement August 20th. Was hospitalized until September 5th for fatigue. He's gaining a lot of weight now. Still popping a lot of pills. Still eating a lot of absurd peanut butter and jelly and bacon and banana monstrosities. He'll make up these performances in December of that year. His Las Vegas physician Dr. Elias Gannum said at the time he just got very tired and fatigued. He thought it would be best if he cut his show short this time rather than run into complications. We can't find much wrong with him. One of the liver enzymes is elevated and what he needs is rest. Final two years of Elvis's life, busy in terms of concert performances.

Behind the scenes, Elvis is suffering from some serious health issues. A lot of problems in his personal life. Excuse me. February of 1976, he does a recording session at Graceland. And then songs from that recording session will be used in his albums from Elvis Presley Boulevard, Memphis, Tennessee, and Moody Blue. Elvis toured from March to October of 1976. From October 29th to the 30th, Elvis did another recording session at Graceland,

which included his last ever single, Way Down. Elvis and his girlfriend Linda Thompson split up in November. Later that month, he met 19-year-old year old actress Ginger Alden with him until he died. Elvis proposed to Ginger after just two months of dating. She will witness him truly descend into madness. He'll do shit like fire his gun at the TV, does this numerous times in various hotel rooms and at home.

Once put a bullet in the wall next to her head when she tried to stop him from overeating. Priscilla Laders also will write about his downward spiral. She said he was bored with his career towards the end and just bored with life in general. When work no longer challenged him, when it was you know not going how he wanted, he would search for fulfillment elsewhere. And Priscilla wrote, in the absence of any significant professional challenge, Elvis created his own real-life drama. His fascination with guns was now an obsession. He became paranoid over death threats. And from his association with the Memphis local police, he had access to a list of drug pushers. He felt he personally should get them off the streets. Phoning me

late one evening, he said, Silla, you have anyone you want taken care of? Strictly top secret. That's a fucking weird phone call from Ellis. She wrote about how his performances were getting weirder. She said, the style, grace, and pride for the past eight years had been the hallmark of a Presley live performance, and it now bordered on self-parody. Frustrated with the lack of challenge of each passing show, Elvis resorted to sheer flamboyance, symbolized by his costumes each more elaborate than the one before, loaded with an overabundance of fake stones, studs, and fringes. There were voluminous capes and cumbersome belts to match.

He was performing in a garb that added 35 pounds to his weight. It was as if he were trying to upstage himself instead of relying on his raw talent. He also stopped caring about his hygiene, like his personal hygiene, towards the end of his life. Obviously depressed. His Memphis Mafia buddies are having to beg him to take a shower. He preferred just eating these weird fucking deodorant tablets and only wiping his armpits and ass crack.

He was suffering from constipation thanks to all the pills in his super fucked up diet. He would frequently, I guess, pass out on the toilets. Friends would have to pick him up off the bathroom floor. He was going on a radic spending spree. He bought some random lady a Cadillac in Memphis just because she happened to be in the showroom when he was buying literally a dozen dozen other catalogs for his friends or Cadillacs for his friends How fun to be that lady though? Can you imagine you're thinking about you know?

Maybe getting a Cadillac Not sure if you have the money and then fucking Elvis shows up and you're just excited to meet one of the most famous people In the world and then he's like, oh just throw a throw a caddy on my I'm gonna tape there. Yeah, thank you very much No problem Elvis continued touring November of 1976 as becomes more and more unstable Performs at the Hilton in Vegas for the last time from December 2nd to December 12th Throughout the year Elvis was deeply disturbed by the upcoming publication of this tell-all book Elvis What happened written by three former Memphis Mafia members Red West his cousin Sonny West

Which is another personal bodyguard of Elvis's, and Dave Heabler, after Vernon Presley fired the three men that year. The expose was published 15 days before Elvis died, and Sonny wrote in the book's opening note, He will read it and he will get hopping mad at us, because he will know that every word is the truth, but maybe, just maybe, it will do some good. The tabloid-like tell-all book was full of revelations of Elvis's drug use over other overindulgences like lots of girls, erratic and often abusive behavior. Red West wrote in the book, for many years with real seriousness, he called us his disciples.

He was willing to feed and clothe and give you a good time, but he liked to be in charge of what he gave you when he gave it to you. Above all, he needs to be needed. Heibler wrote in the book, Elvis is committing slow suicide with the drugs. It seems he is bent on death. And that sentence will seem pretty prophetic two weeks later. Elvis toured in late December, early February, 1977. Then again in March after vacation in Hawaii. He's hospitalized in Memphis from April 1st to April 5th.

Elvis is in extremely poor health, right? He's overweight, suffers from severe constipation, diabetes, glaucoma. All of that will be confirmed by his autopsy. Using a shit ton of prescription drugs, examination of his toxicology reports will uncover traces of 14 different drugs in his system, 10 of them in significant quantities,

including morphine and codeine. His personal physician since 1967, Dr. George Nikopoulos, aka Dr. Nick, his very own Dr. Feelgood, prescribed at least 8,805 pills and drugs to the king, including Dilaudid, a narcotic painkiller, Quaalude, a sedative, Percodan, a narcotic painkiller, Edemerol, another painkiller, and Cocaine Hydrochloride generally used for surgery. Just way too much shit. Silly continues to tour in April, May, and June. His single Way Down released in June reached number 18 on the Billboard charts. Elvis toured again from June 17th to June 26th.

Three of his shows were recorded for another live album and a CVS TV special called Elvis in Concert, which aired October 3, 1977. Elvis did his final concert performance, June 26, at the Market Square Arena in Indianapolis. His album Moody Blue, also released in June. It'll reach number three in the charts after he dies and sell over 2 million copies. Elvis returns to Memphis for some time off from June 27 to August 15. Then still not ready to leave August 16th, 1977 Elvis dies in Graceland at the age of only 42

He'd arrived in Graceland just after midnight August 16th, 1977 after visiting the dentist in the early morning hours He planned last-minute details for some more tour dates spent some time with family and staff Supposed to fly to Portland, Maine for a show that night and then continued touring from there Went to bed around 7 a.m. He typically would stay up, you know, all night, sleep all day. By the late morning, he was dead from heart failure. Nine-year-old Lisa Marie was home at Graceland when her dad died. She said in an interview with TV Land that she couldn't sleep on the night of her father's death. At 4 a.m., she left her room to find him and he urged her to go back to sleep. Lisa Marie recalled, I ran off and he'd come in and kiss me good night. That was the last time I saw him alive. Damn. Around 2 30 p.m. Elvis's girlfriend Ginger Alden

finds him face down on the bathroom floor. According to PBS, severe constipation may have contributed to his death in addition to drugs. He was sitting on the toilet and quote, straining very hard to have a bowel movement. A maneuver that put a great amount have contributed to his death in addition to drugs. He was sitting on the toilet and straining very hard to have a bowel movement, a maneuver that put a great amount of pressure on his heart and aorta. The Memphis fire station received a call at 2.33 p.m. reporting that someone at the house was having trouble breathing. Ambulance arrived a few minutes later. Two medics finding almost a dozen people huddled over Elvis's body took them a moment to realize who he was because his skin was dark blue and cold to the touch. They found no pulse, no light response in his eyes.

Yeah, he was having a lot of trouble breathing, as in he hadn't been breathing in quite a while. Still, Elvis's personal doctor, Dr. Nick, orders the ambulance to take Elvis to Baptist Memorial Hospital, which was 20 minutes away. Not clear why he didn't want him to go to the Methodist South Hospital, which is five minutes away. Most likely because he knew the staff at Baptist would be discreet. Efforts were made to revive Elvis,

but come on, he'd been dead for probably hours. He's pronounced dead at 3.30 p.m. Nine doctors then performed the autopsy, find no signs of stroke, heart failure, or lung disease. They find Elvis was chronically ill with diabetes and constipation. There was evidence that indicated long-term drug abuse, but they would need to complete toxicology testing to confirm that.

8 p.m. medical examiner Dr. Jerry Francisco does a press conference where he announces that early testing indicates Elvis died of cardiac arrhythmia due to undetermined heartbeat, which is another way to say heart failure. So they are saying some hard stuff. Dr. Francisco and Elvis said Elvis had a history of mild hypertension and there was evidence of coronary heart disease or coronary artery disease, excuse me, which could have been contributing factor

contributing factor in his death. Autopsy team was surprised by his statement because Dr. Francisco had witnessed but did not lead the autopsy. And his statement didn't match the rest of the team's findings. The team did not make an official conclusion about his cause of death at the time, I'm sure Colonel Tom and others were pressuring them to keep quiet or lie, but they believed

drugs were the probable cause, which they were. Dr. Francisco told the press that determining the official cause of death could take weeks, but noted that drugs were likely not a factor because there was no evidence of drug abuse, I wonder how much he was paid to say that. He said the only drugs detected were those prescribed to Elvis for some hypertension and a blockage of the colon, but that was a bunch of bullshit. A toxicology report was released weeks later, showed Elvis had high levels of a lot of prescription painkillers in his body. Again, 14 different drugs, 10 of them present in significant quantities. He was a walking pharmacology experiment.

Elvis's funeral took place August 18, 1977 and estimated 18,000 people lined up along Presley Boulevard to watch the funeral procession. The Washington Post reported at the time flags were lowered to half staff throughout much of the south. Major radio stations were reported to be planning a moment of silence at the time of his funeral Thursday. President Carter lauded Presley as a symbol of America's vitality, rebelliousness, and good humor. October 2nd, Elvis and Gladys Presley's bodies are moved to Graceland and reburied. In the late 70s, early 80s, as the family is settling Elvis' estate, the courts begin to investigate two members of Elvis' inner circle, his doctor, Dr. Nick, and his manager, Colonel Parker. Because they were shady as fuck.

Tennessee Board of Health launched the investigation, initiated criminal proceedings against Dr. Nick. As mentioned, since 1975, he had prescribed over 8,000 pills for Elvis. He admitted to writing the prescriptions. His defense argued that Elvis was so addicted to painkillers, Dr. Nick issued the prescriptions to keep him away from illegal street trucks.

The jury will absolve him of negligence but suspend his license for three months. 1980 Dr. Nick indicted a second time for overprescribing drugs to Elvis and to singer Jerry Lee Lewis, another client. November 5, 1981 Dr. Nick acquitted of 11 counts of criminally overprescribing addictive drugs to Elvis and eight other patients. His defense attorney argued that Dr. Nick was a good Samaritan who treated drug-dependent patients like no other doc or that no other doctor was willing to take. Dr. Nick testified he did prescribe drugs to his patients but many of the drugs prescribed to Elvis were thrown out or substituted with placebos according to him. He claimed all nine patients in the indictment were getting drugs from other sources and had a drug problem when they came to

him. He gave him drugs to eliminate other sources and weaned them off once he was their sole supplier. What he said, a lot of people think he's full of shit. He was acquitted in that case, but his medical license was suspended. Also alleged that Colonel Parker defrauded Elvis because that parasite for sure did that. During Elvis's autopsy, he was already finalizing a souvenir merchandising deal. Memphis judge investigated Elvis' estate on behalf of Lisa Presley, found that Parker's 50% fee was extremely high for the industry standard of 10 to 15%. Lisa's representatives issued a report in 1980 stating that Parker defrauded Elvis' estate of

$7 to $8 million over three years. He never registered Presley with BMI, which manages music rights, and 33 songs earned him no royalties. Also, Parker sold 700 songs in 1973 and somehow he received $6.2 million over seven years while Elvis received $4.6 million. The court declared Parker guilty of self-dealing and overreaching, found that he handled business affairs in his own interest as opposed to the interests of his client. The Presley estate sued Parker, settling with him for an undisclosed sum in 1983. And then Colonel Parker died in 1997 at the age of 87. Graceland

opened up for public tours in 1982. 3,000 people came to see Elvis's home on June 7th when it opened. Elvis had appointed his father Vernon, his executor and trustee. Elvis's beneficiaries were his grandmother Minnie Mae, Dodger, Vernon, Lisa Marie, and Vernon was allowed to provide funds to other family members as needed at his discretion. Vernon will die in 1979, Dodger will die in 1980, which will then leave his daughter Lisa Marie as the sole heir to his estate. Her inheritance held in trust until her 25th birthday, February 1st, 1993. Vernon appointed three co-executors

to succeed him, the National Bank of Commerce in Memphis, Elvis' accountant, Joseph Hanks, and Lisa Marie's mother Priscilla Presley. Until her death, which was eerily similar to her dad's, Lisa Marie had sole ownership of Graceland, the original grounds, and her father's personal effects. In late 1981, Priscilla and Elvis's executors hired an investment counselor to help them open Graceland to the public for tours. Elvis earned up to a billion dollars in his lifetime but his estate was only worth seven million dollars at the time of his death. Fucking Parker and his extravagant spending. Graceland costs were over

five hundred thousand dollars a year in maintenance and taxes. Lisa Marie forms a new trust called the Elvis Presley Trust to continue managing the estate. The Elvis Presley Trust establishes a business entity called Elvis Presley Enterprises. Lisa Marie will be the owner and chairman of the board until 2005 when she sells her major interest in the company. Priscilla continues to be involved in Graceland's business affairs to this day. 1984 Elvis's estate claimed that his record, which include vinyl, cassette, CD, and digital, again had exceeded one billion dollars worldwide. Or one billion sales worldwide. Yeah, way more than a billion dollars.

Elvis earned a few posthumous awards in the decades after his death. He was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame during the first induction dinner, January 23rd, 1986. American Music Awards posthumously awarded Elvis the Award of Merit, January 26th, 1987. He was inducted in the Country Music Hall of Fame, 1988. Finally, Elvis was inducted into the Groomers Hall of Fame for his work on Priscilla in 2001. I mean, inducted into the Gospel Hall of Fame, November 26th, 2001. September 2011, Elvis received the first diamond certification from RCA for his 1970 Elvis Christmas album.

Elvis' daughter Lisa Marie will go on to have four kids of her own. Two will come from her first marriage to musician Danny Keough. Danielle Riley Keough, known for her recent lead role in Daisy Jones in The Six, and Benjamin Storm Preston Keough, known for his resemblance to Elvis. Benjamin, a musician, died of suicide January 12, 2020, sadly. Lisa Marie dropped out of high school, went to rehab for drug abuse. She struggled greatly during her life. Met her husband there. Got married in 1988, divorced in 1994.

Later married former Suck Subject Michael Jackson in one of the fucking weirdest marriages ever. A total publicity stunt. Also got married to possible future Suck Subject actor Nicolas Cage. She released two albums in 2003 and 2005, which actually made it to the top 10 of the Billboard 200 and were certified gold. 2006, she married music producer Michael Lockwood, had twin daughters Finley and Harper with him. Priscilla never remarried, but she had a son named Navarone Garibaldi Garcia from her relationship with music producer Marco Garibaldi. During a Q&A after the premiere of a 2023 film, Priscilla confirmed that she intentionally never married again. She said,

I just don't think that he could handle that. That's crazy. To be honest with you, I never wanted to marry after him. I never had any desire. No one could ever match Elvis. Interesting she felt that way after what he put her through. Feels like a bit of Stockholm syndrome maybe. And they just had a very complicated relationship. Lisa Marie Presley died January 12, 2013 at a hospital in California at the age of 54. She'd been in poor health. In the months before she died she suffered from fevers, nausea, abdominal pain, and vomiting. She died two days after she made her last public appearance

at the Golden Globes. Priscilla said about her only daughter's death, listen I think about her all day all night. I miss my daughter very very much and it was a shock to all of us but mostly for a mother you know who when they lose their child a lot is lost of them too. As a parent we grieve. We can't believe it. We try to understand. You know the thoughts of my daughter. I know she wasn't that happy. I know that when her son died that was really when she just didn't want to be here. Authorities later announced that Lisa Marie died from complications of bariatric surgery. Died of natural causes due to the effect of a

small bowel obstruction. Also had a bunch of opioids in her system after struggling with her own prescription painkiller addiction for years just like dad. Heart problems, bowel problems, pill problems. Lisa Marie left Graceland to her children but then Priscilla challenged the will in court claiming that a 2016 amendment replacing her as the co-trustee with Riley and Benjamin Keough was invalid. The dispute resolved August of last year and the Presley estate was passed to Riley Keough and her half sisters. And one final note, Elvis' estate has made somewhere between $500 million and a billion

dollars since he died, despite Colonel Parker making one of the worst music catalog deals in history. Last year in 2023, the only dead celebrity who made more than the king of rock and roll, who made about $100 million, was the king of pop, Michael Jackson, who made $115 million. That's fucking wild. Making $100 million or more after death. Clearly, if you want to have real, true staying power as an artist, you need to get yourself a dangerous, out of control chimp that you dress up like a person and allow to terrorize others.

Rest in peace, scatter. I hope you're living well and not ripping anyone's face off. And let's get out of this timeline. Good job, soldier. You've made it back. Barely. And now before some final thoughts, one more sponsor, oh very excited to announce that we have some music for you today brought to you by Pootie and Juju Records. Cocky Steel, the world's most popular erect penis sock puppet, has just collaborated with Woody, the most famous possessed puppet in the world on their first album of recorded music.

Cocky and Woody reimagine the King. Take it away Cocky and Woody re-imagine the King. Take it away, Cocky. Well, it's one for the money, two for the show. Try to get rid of knockoff, cut cold, but don't you. Have my blue sweat wash. You can do this legally off the oil from our blue sweat balls But you can shrug me down, squeeze my shaft, rub my head all over your ass Do anything that you want to do

But I, oh, honey, look out for my balls, don't you? Step on my blue sweat balls You can do this thing with the old, from our blue sweat balls Now it's your turn to sing in a very different voice, Woody Thank you You ain't no butter booze hound, drinkin' all the time You ain't no butter booze hound, drinkin' all the time Well, you don't ever share your liquor, so you ain't no friend of mine

Well, they said that you would share the hooch, but that was just a lie They said that you would give me a swig, but that was just a lie Yeah, you don't ever share your liquor, so I hope you burn a lot Back to you, cocky, with your very different vocal stylings Back to you cocky with your very different vocal stylings You know I can't be found hanging on Randy's trick If you can't come around please send a nudie pic Don't be cruel to a cock and a sock. Baby, if I made you mad, flashing you by the bank,

please, if you think I'm bad, pull off the sock and give me a spank. Don't be cruel, ho-ho-ho, to a cock and a sock. I don't want no other love. Baby, as soon as you and your boobs and your private parts I'm thinking of. Holy shit! What artistry! What innovation!

Cocky and Woody, re-imagine the King out now on Poodie and Juju Records. Oh my God! That was fucking terrible. The King and Scatter the... Bubbles and Scatter the Chimp probably could have fucking done a better job. That was the worst thing I've ever heard. Now that there are only probably about five people still listening, Elvis Presley, the king of rock and roll.

What a crazy run that dude had, right? His career did not span a very long time. He released his first album in 1956, died 21 years later, 1977, but it feels like he lived about a hundred lives in those two decades. He was born a dirt poor Peckerwood in Tupelo, Mississippi, 1935, remained dirt poor until his music career took off shortly after graduating high school in Memphis, Tennessee. Then he stayed in Memphis for the rest of his life. Great place to be for a rock star at that time. So much important music being made in and around that city. Elvis recorded his first single in 1954 with Sun Records.

He was internationally famous within two years selling millions of records appearing before massive audiences performing on America's most popular television shows. Elvis's unique sound combined pop, country music, gospel, rhythm and blues. He himself said he didn't sound like anybody else which was true but Elvis did make an effort to give credit to the many musicians that influenced his early career most of whom were early black rock and roll rhythm and blues stars like Fats Domino and Chuck Berry. Elvis, while he wasn't the first rock star, he did become the face of rock and roll, which terrified social conservatives and religious and cultural leaders. He had those dangerous hips that

excited the youth. Elvis helped popularize rock and roll around the world, made himself an icon in the process. During his career, he broke numerous performance records, sold millions of albums, earned an estimated a billion dollars in his lifetime, starred in 31 films, changed the music industry forever and also definitely groomed Priscilla to be his rock and roll stepford wife of the sort. Interestingly, all of Elvis' fame and money did not in the end seem to make him very happy. He had all the money, all the fame.

He dated Hollywood stars, more than just Ann-Margret. He was sexually linked to Cybill Shepherd, Ann Helm, Peggy Lipton, Playboy model June Wilkinson, bunch of random fans and on and on and on. He had friends, a lot of friends, wife, others who were, at least for a number of years, extremely devoted to him. Critics and fans alike loved a know, at least for a number of years, extremely devoted to him. Critics and fans alike, you know, loved a bunch of his songs, number of his movies. He won a ton of awards, super handsome, on and on and on. But because of some hole inside of him, he never figured out how to fill.

He was just often miserable towards the end of his life. Paranoid. You know, he was still so young. Despite everything he had, he still struggled like the rest of us with relationship problems. Even Priscilla in the end wouldn't just do what he wanted. He had friends turn on him, managers steal from him, lost his beloved mother at an early age, worried about no longer having fans support him. Interestingly, in the months before he died, very worried his fans would soon forget him.

Clearly that hasn't happened. He struggled with drug addiction, struggled with food addiction, probably sexual addiction, had a bit of an existential crisis, struggled to find meaning in his life, going on spirit quests because he wondered what the point of all this really is just like many of us wonder. And I think there's an important lesson in all of this. Don't base your happiness in the external as much as the internal. Elvis couldn't have had more external things go well for him. If you think the next big thing is finally going to make you happy,

you probably won't. You'll probably get there. Just start looking for the next thing after that. Right? Elvis had all the money, all the fame, all the girls, all the accolades. Still wasn't enough. Right? He tried to bury some kind of pain he was carrying and pills and food.

That didn't work. I wish he would have stayed on his spirit quest a little longer. Not throwing out all the books, but one, maybe he could have found some inner peace. Uh, his story at its core is actually not that unique. right? I've known numerous incredibly successful, wealthy people, healthy people who are fucking miserable. I've also thank God known people who are broke as fuck. People with no big impressive career to brag about. People with no famous friends. People who aren't taking big expensive trips. People who aren't getting a bunch of accolades, people who aren't even terribly healthy, who are so goddamn happy. You don't have to conquer the world to find bliss. You don't have to make millions of dollars. You don't have to find fame. You don't need all the accolades to have the big legacy. Maybe you just need acceptance to kind of win in life. Maybe you just need to

make peace with wherever you're at, except that life is and will always be messy Or who knows? Fuck it. Maybe what you really need is an alcoholic chimp that you've trained to terrorize others. Maybe he's scatter time for takeaways Number one, thank you very much Elvis Presley one of the wealthiest celebrities in the world, baby I end up to a billion dollars during his lifetime. Sold over a billion records. Number two, Elvis Presley had a twin. January 8th, 1935 Gladys Presley gave birth to Elvis' older brother Jesse Garan first

who was sadly stillborn. Elvis born about 30 minutes later, grew up as an only child. Number three, Elvis appeared to teen audiences or appealed to teen audiences because of his unique sound, the combined country, pop, rhythm and blues, elements of early rock and roll, and of course, he was handsome as fuck, baby. Perfect jawline, mega chat, and great hair, velvety voice. Pearson blue eyes, an ass that just would not quit as he shook around on stage, thank you very much.

His songs and dance moves, considered highly provocative for the time, outraged a lot of stick in the mud critics in the 50s but they were outnumbered by the masses who adored him. Number four Elvis starred in 31 movies most of which he hated. Elvis had dreams of being a serious award-winning actor but his manager Colonel Parker pushed him towards cash grabs to star in cheesy formulaic flicks because those made a quick profit and appealed to Elvis's fan base. The Colonel allegedly turned down lead roles for Elvis in West Side Story, fucked up a star is born for him. Number five, new info, Elvis's hobbies. Elvis had a wide variety of hobbies.

1960, he earned his first degree black belt in karate, earned his second degree black belt in karate in 1963, and he would carry his black belt card with him for the rest of his life. Maybe he did think he could take Mike Stone, who for sure would have annihilated him. He also enjoyed roller skating. He liked riding roller coasters at local carnivals and fairs. Another favorite pastime of his was racquetball. God, I picture him playing racquetball with a fucking rhinestone jumpsuit and a cape. Oversized sunglasses, big button-chopped sideburns. I also picture him playing doubles, with scatter just exactly like that at his side

and fucking hammered. Elvis also interested in law enforcement greatly. In 1964, he was named special deputy sheriff for Shelby County, Tennessee. Loved collecting guns and police badges and he and his Memphis mafia buddies enjoyed attaching a police siren to Elvis's car and would sometimes trick speeding drivers into pulling over.

One of Elvis's friends would then sometimes pretend to be a police officer, give the driver a lecture on speeding, then instead of giving him a ticket, Elvis would appear and give him an autograph, which is pretty funny and wildly illegal. He was only allowed to get away with that because of who he was, you know, his fame, and fame, and it was a different time. Time Suck Top 5 Takeaways Elvis Presley, the King Baby, has been sucked, thank you very much.

Thank you very much to the Bad Magic Productions team for helping making Time Suck, starting with the Queen of Bad Magic, Lindsay Cummings. I wish she would submit like Priscilla, but she will not. Thank you to Logan Keith, oh yes, the Art Warlock, baby. Recording this episode, designed and merged for the store BadMagicProductions.com, baby. Thank you very much. Thanks to Olivia Lee for her initial research today to injustice to the King. Thanks to the all-seen eyes moderating the Cult of the Curious private Facebook page, Mod Squad, making sure Discord keeps running smooth, baby.

Everyone over on Time Suck's subreddit and Bad Magic's subreddits. Thank you very much. And now let's head on over to this week's Time Sucker Updates. You ain't nothing but an update. Updates? Get your Time Sucker Updates. This episode has me in a weird mood. Starting off with some very important Disney information.

Roy Disney's fucking dark hold over the Empire is waning. Curious Act Rebecca Cover shares the following news saying, Hey Dan, just finished listening to the Dan Schneider episode and I just thought you should know Mickey Mouse is officially 100 years old and is now in the public domain. You can literally put Mickey in any situation you want. Although I kindly ask you not to because my daughter is currently obsessed with the Mickey Mouse Club and after the visuals you just gave, we will need to take a break for a few days. But Mickey could literally star in an episode of Pootie and Juju. No one can

tell you no. There's also a horror slasher movie starring Mickey called Mickey's Mouse Trap coming out in September. It looks so bad I'm very much looking forward to it. I just wanted to say thanks for making my long nights to work a little better. I work midnights pretty much by myself in a surgical supply factory and time suck and scared to death truly my comfort shows. So much love to you and Lindsay Becker. Well thank you Becker thank you very much. No thanks for doing what you do. Obviously surgical supply is pretty damn important anyone who needs surgery wants to live through it. And thanks for bringing this to my attention about Mickey. That old mouse might need to be abused in some new ways now. I did watch the trailer for Mickey Mouse or Mickey's Mouse Trap. It

does look horrible, but also how fun that Mickey can appear as Mickey in a slasher flick now. Now I love this next update so much. A very cool update from a Nigerian prince or dude who happens to be Nigerian who's also a brilliant author. Sharp sack. Wally Talabi shares the following. Hey Dan thank you you beautiful bastard. Longtime listener but this is my first time right into the show. My name is Wally a Nigerian engineer and writer currently living in Australia. No this is not a scam wink. Episode 23. Wink. I've been listening to Time Sucks in 2019 when I first started researching my novel. Literary, fantasy, adventure, heist, romance novel, shigiri, and the brass head of Obalufon.

Obalufon. Oh my gosh. Obalufon. There we go. Obalufon. And then Wally wrote, I know you will struggle to pronounce that very Nigerian book title. So here's the link to a video. Yes. He gave me a link to a video, whether you pronounce it correctly. I still had to pause. Then Wally continues. The novel features a reimagined version of famous occultist Alistair Crowley as a side character in a very modern-day story of gods, monsters, capitalism, and more. Well, I've done a lot of research on his life, I was looking for some more sources and a fun way to get more info. So one day I searched his name in Spotify, hoping to find

a podcast about him that I could listen to on my daily walk. Behold, I found your podcast, Bonus Episode 18, Aleister Crowley, the wickedest man in the world. I listened to it and thoroughly enjoyed the mix of education and humor that you brought to the episode and I decided to listen to more episodes. I've been a regular listener ever since, apart from an extended break last year when I was promoting my book and moving to a new country. I even named my weekly pub quiz group the Space Lizards, after going into the back catalog and listening to the first episode, Lizard Illuminati Conspiracy. Your episode on Aleister Crowley gave me so much information and so many threads to follow

up on my research and to enrich the novel. Yay, sex magic, Hail, Lucifina. I feel I owe you for helping me make the novel what it ended up being. Thankfully, the book has been a big success. It's been nominated for seven major writing awards, was named one of the best fantasy books of 2023 by the Washington Post, has been a best seller in a few countries, not the U.S. unfortunately, but I hope that will change. And the feedback on it has been largely positive. Thankfully, most of the people who have loved it have rated it better than 3 out of 5 stars.

So thanks, Daniel the Man, for what it's worth. I think you would enjoy the novel. And if you read it, it'll probably give you several ideas for future episodes. Since the plot, African gods on a heist to retrieve an item from the British Museum, revolves around many things drawn from the real world and history, which could be the basis for new episodes. African mythologies, stolen cultural items and museums, and so much more. Maybe that can be my way of repaying you, giving you a fun way to learn something while hopefully also entertaining you.

And if a few other space-leaders buy the book too, that would be awesome! Anyway, thank you again. You're a funny, logical, honest, open, and informative. That's something special. Even if you don't read this in the show, I hope it brings a smile to your face. Keep on sucking. Cheers. Wally Tolabi. Tolabi. Wally Tolabi. Tolabi. There we go. My god. Wally Tolabi. Wally. Sorry. Sorry. Even though I looked it up so many times. Sorry. I still struggle with the name of your book and your last name. Yeah. You made my day, man, with this message. I admire fictional authors so much, especially those in the fantasy, sci-fi, and or horror genres. Kudos to you.

Very impressive to get those accolades. There's a lot of people, you know, writing books. Holy shit. And you're a fucking engineer. Share some of that brain with the rest of us. And hug the shit out of your parents for raising such an impressive human being. Or if you've accomplished all this, you know, in spite of them rather than because of them well double kudos. Yeah I've been stockpiling books for some day when I'm working a bit less and

reading a bit more for fun and I just ordered the hardcore edition on Amazon of Shigeti and the Brass Head of Obalyufan written by Wally Tullaby and it's gonna end up in my hands in just a few hours from now. I just ordered it right before recording the show. Pretty cool that in Northern Idaho I can hear about a book written by a Nigerian man living in Australia and even though we don't have a huge bookstore here but we do have the Well-Read Moose. Please check out the Well-Read Moose if you swing through Coeur d'Alene. I also buy books from them but I can still get that book in less

than a day. Modern tech pretty amazing. Nimrod is so pleased. I appreciate the time he took to send the message and finally now this last message comes in from Double Dick. A man who admittedly does not listen to the show never listened to it but he has a message for us nonetheless. Mr. Richard Dickinson that released his name shares the following. Mr. Cummins, I was told by my kids, all listeners of your show, to email you about my big stick. I have not listened to your podcast, but if you read this, maybe I will. Fair. My girls want me to tell you that I was a D1 offensive lineman. My last year was 1977. Same year

the king died. After which, due to injuries, I started a family. And the year I was born. Huh. Daughter number one wants me to tell you about my nickname because you talk year the king died, after which due to injuries I started a family. And the year I was born, huh? Daughter number one wants me to tell you about my nickname because you talk about penises a lot. My name is Dick Dickinson and my nickname in college was Double Dick. That's so great. When I finished playing I was six foot seven, 318 pounds, Jesus Christ. As I started my family, I of course wanted a boy or two. Instead I had two fiery redheaded girls. Of course I loved them dearly as they made me get in touch with my inner teddy bear. I was good with two beautiful girls. I knew I would be the best girl dad. My wife, bless her heart, sat down with me when the girls were six and seven, asked if I wanted to try for a boy. I was 34. She was 32. I was one of three kids, so I gladly agreed.

Soon after, in 1989, my wife becomes pregnant. My daughters are so excited to have a brother. They volunteered to share a room, took it upon themselves to make a boy room or some version of it. I have to say it was so bad it was great. I watched from my lawn chair with a six-year-old style as they painted for the first time and we laughed the whole week. They hung my bowl pictures, brought in football stuff, signed jerseys for my pals, and made it into the NFL to my expectant son, who we were going to name Dick Jr. Oh yes, double Dick the second. Come to find out my wife is gonna

have triplets. Triplets Mr. Cummins. Three. The result? Three girls, all redheaded. I now had five daughters Mr. Cummins. When the older two came of age, I got nervous about boys. My girls were lookers and I had a plan. I did not want to do the answer the door in my tidies or brandish an axe, but I did want to send a strong message. When I graduated my offensive line coach gave me the stick he used in practice to tap me on the head if I got too high on a block. I ducked under that thing thousands of times. He signed it, had it lacquered. I cherished it, hung it in my office for many years. Now any new suitor had to meet me in my office. They were instructed to wear a coat and tie and write an essay about the reasons they wanted to

court my daughter. My wife protested, but I was a father and I did not want my girls to be exposed to idiot ruffians. If they really wanted to date my daughters, they would do as I instructed. Much to the delight of their parents, the young gentleman would enter the house with beads of they really wanted to date my daughters, they would do as I instructed. Much to the delight of their parents. The young gentleman would enter the house with beads of sweat and were directed to my office. While the boy nervously adjusted in his seat, I carefully applied another coat to the lacquered stick on my desk while I listened, nodding.

I would hold it in my mitten paws as I walked behind the boys, like Capone in that movie. Now 30 years on, my daughters are vying for my double dick stick. My oldest two had three boys apiece, so no stick. As my youngest three start their families each of them want to have my first granddaughter. So their fathers can inherit, or so they can inherit the double dick. Yeah, their fathers can. Two of my triplets are with child and are praying for a daughter. Until then, ol' double dick still lacquers his double dick stick. Thank you, sir. As I get on in age, I feel the effects of my playing days. If you could do an episode on head trauma and former football players, I would sure give it a listen. Yours truly, double dick.

Well, shit double dick. I would have loved to be your buddy while you were showing those guys that stick. I love that you made them write a fucking essay. I laughed so hard I cried when I first read that part. Just picturing them writing this essay, you know, just so annoyed, having to get dressed up, put on a tie, then sit in front of you, this fucking huge strong man, lacquering that stick, pacing behind them, just so nervous, so much sweat. If I had a video of that, I'd watch it regularly. And I love this called the Double Dick Stick.

Thank you for that. Also, thanks for raising, you know, beautiful and funny as hell daughters. And finally, there is an episode of Time Suck that covers CTE, episode 385, brain damage, murder and football, the Aaron Hernandez story. So check it out. You know, I'll still think you're cool as hell, even if you hate it. Thanks for sending that message, and thank you everybody. Thanks, Time Suckers. I needed that. We all did.

Thank you for listening to another Bad Magic Productions podcast, baby. Scared to death, Time Suck each week. Short sucks, a nightmare fuel, and the Time Suck Scared to Death podcast feeds some weeks, baby. Please do chase your dreams like the king. Just while you do, easy on the pills, baby. Easy on the peanut butter and jelly and bacon and bread and bananas. All good things in moderation except for time suck.

Suck and suck and suck and keep on sucking, baby. Thank you very much. I do know that it was fucked up for the Memphis Mafia guys to let Scatter get drunk and then train him to look up women's dresses. But not that I do this now, you know, in real life. It is fun to think about training a chimp just to fuck with people. Here's what I thought of first when I thought about wanting to do this. Like what if you dressed a chimp up in a free hugs t-shirt and then you snuck that chimp into a petting zoo, but you trained him to slap anyone in the face who tried to hug him,

kids included. And then you sit there and you just watch kid after kid get fucking slapped by a chimp who is supposed to show them love, supposed to hug him. And this chimp reeks of whiskey and punches parents who yells at the chimp for slapping their kid. I mean if I was able to make that happen I might literally laugh myself to death.