Timesuck with Dan Cummins - 416 - Alexander Hamilton

Episode Date: August 19, 2024

An in-depth look at the Founding Father behind the hit musical Hamilton. How did Alexander contribute to the founding of the United States? And how did he end up dying in a duel with fellow politician Aaron Burr?Merch and more: www.badmagicproductions.com Timesuck Discord! https://discord.gg/tqzH89vWant to join the Cult of the Curious PrivateFacebook Group? Go directly to Facebook and search for "Cult of the Curious" to locate whatever happens to be our most current page :)For all merch-related questions/problems: [e-mail] (copy and paste)Please rate and subscribe on Apple Podcasts and elsewhere and follow the suck on social media!! @timesuckpodcast on IG and http://www.facebook.com/timesuckpodcastWanna become a Space Lizard? Click here: https://www.patreon.com/timesuckpodcast.Sign up through Patreon, and for $5 a month, you get access to the entire Secret Suck catalog (295 episodes) PLUS the entire catalog of Timesuck, AD FREE. You'll also get 20% off of all regular Timesuck merch PLUS access to exclusive Space Lizard merch. And you get the download link for my secret standup album, Feel the Heat.

Alexander Hamilton, star of the hit Broadway musical that I still have not seen to the Great Desmay of My Wife. I have heard the songs. However, we won't be talking about the musical much today. This will be a more in-depth examination of the actual man. Hamilton was one of the most influential founding fathers in United States history, but before the hit musical, named in his honor, his story received far, far less attention than most of his contemporaries, perhaps because he never became president. Alexander Hamilton was a war veteran, a personal assistant to George Washington for many years,

and arguably his most trusted advisor, the first secretary of the U.S. Treasury, and a leading figure when it came to establishing a national system of currency and banking and credit, a leader of the early Federalist Party, one of the founders and implementers of the Constitution, a dude who got shot and killed in a duel in the exact same place where his son also fought in a duel, and a man often called the father of the US economy, which is how he ended up as the face of the $10 bill. You might not know much about Hamilton, but if you grew up in the US, you've seen his face your whole life. Before he got shot, Hamilton was one of the most powerful and influential politicians in the entire

country. Something when he was born, no one could have reasonably dreamt of. Hamilton came from extremely humble beginnings. He was an illegitimate child, a bastard, and he lived in poverty after his father abandoned his family. Dads, am I right? What a bunch of rascals. By the age of 13, some sources say 11, he was working as a clerk at a trading company. Can you imagine working as a clerk back when you were in 7th or 8th grade? I can't. I was proud of myself for using my grandpa's lawnmower to mow some of the neighbor's lawns for $5 a week. No one was putting me in charge of balancing any ledgers or handling payroll. Can't even fathom a real grown-up full-time job at that age. Hamilton was mostly self-educated, learning through experience on the job and prolific reading and writing. His goal once his

father left was to make a name for himself, to improve his station in life and with a combination of his tenacious personality, hard work and some luck, he did just that. Hamilton, through the help of some very generous and caring locals who believe in his tremendous potential, was given the opportunity to travel to the American colonies and pursue an education, which he then would soon abandon, and for feeling called to fight in the American Revolution. His bravery and strategic prowess on the battlefield earned him a spot as George Washington's right-hand man, and he went on to lead a siege during the famous Battle of Yorktown,

the battle that marked the end of the Revolution. Hamilton, never afraid to fight and speak up loudly about what he believed in, then got heavily involved in federal politics in the post-war period and became a key player during the Constitutional Convention of 1787. Hamilton would help create the system of government that is still a place in the U.S. today. Washington would appoint Hamilton to his presidential cabinet and Hamilton would enact policies that would shape politics both at home and abroad. Hamilton was also embroiled in multiple scandals, including the first political sex scandal in U.S. history, as well as multiple heated political feuds.

And one of those feuds, with Aaron Burr, led to the duel that ended in his untimely demise and led to historical villainization of Burr that may the duel that ended in his untimely demise and led to historical villainization of Burr that may not actually be that fair. Burr has been historically written off by many as a wishy-washy career politician with no real backbone but is that actually true? Or was he if judged by today's standards far more progressive than Hamilton ever was and maybe even a better dude? Today we ignore the sensationalized depictions of Hamilton and instead seek to portray the real life

and politics of Alexander, his impact on the early United States, all the scandals and drama, and the infamous duel that caused his death in this historical founding father, birth of a nation edition of Time Suck. This is Michael McDonald and you're listening to Time Suck. Happy Monday and welcome or welcome back to the Cult of the Curious. I'm Dan Cummins, Suck Master.

President of the let's at Least Shun Ruby Frank for the rest of her life when she's unfortunately released from prison someday club. And founder of the Let's Just Go Ahead and Kill former leader of the Kid Willie Sex Cult, Colin Batley Right Now Club. And you are listening to Time Suck. And those two topics back to back.

Oh man, after Ruby Frank and the Kid Willie Sex Cult, I needed a palate cleanser this week Zero kids have to go down on their mom in today's episode Thank God and no kids are being told, you know They're a demon and locked up in a basement with no food or water But we will talk about a bastard kid today who was a grown man was sometimes a bit of a rascal Also, just really quick Lindsay and I caught Willie Nelson when he stopped through Spokane on his tour with Bob Dylan and John Cougar Mellencamp. And holy shit, Willie is a fucking national treasure. He was phenomenal at 91 years young.

So incredibly inspiring. Man, I listened to him all the time growing up. One of Pop Awards favorite musicians. One of mine too. Cannot recommend catching him enough if you get the chance. Because this might be his last tour when he's 91 Bob Dylan you can skip I know that's not a popular opinion but I've seen the two worst concerts of my life were Bob Dylan in 2001 and then Bob Dylan a couple nights ago he wrote a lot of great songs great songs performing them

He wrote a lot of great songs. Performing them? Melanchamp sounds as good as ever. Now let's get going. So how am I laying all this out? Well, I'll start with a brief overview of the events leading up to the American Revolution, followed by a full timeline of Hamilton's early life, focusing primarily on him working as the highly sought after Dom slash Topp in an 18th century Caribbean BDSM kink dungeon. Then moving on to his military and political career that shaped the government for more than two centuries and the infamous duel with Aaron Burr that resulted in his death. Of course, I'm joking about the kink dungeon, or am I?

Maybe you're going to see a very different side of Alexander Hamilton today. Hamilton rose to prominence during one of the most turbulent times in US history, the birth of the US history. Of US history really. The American Revolution made a name for himself during that pivotal war before he went on to become a founding father whose policies are still in place today. American Revolution was fought over tensions between residents of the 13 North American colonies and the colonial government that represented the British crown. If you want a deeper dive on that

war go back and listen to Time Suck 147. Just gonna give a little overview today. Before the Revolution there was the French and Indian War, an imperial struggle between Britain and France and North America which saw the North American colonies of the British Empire against those of the French, each side being supported by various Native American tribes. That war lasted from 1754 to 1763 and it was actually part of another war. The French and Indian War was the North American chapter basically of a much larger worldwide conflict known as the Seven Years War. It fought between 1756 and 1763 involving

over a dozen of Europe's biggest players led to the loss of over 900,000 lives possibly up to over 1.4 million lives. After this major war that the British Empire won Britain one of the three biggest players along with Prussia and France imposed taxes on the colonists to pay off debts incurred due to that war. And this new tax system was initiated in 1765. The Stamp Act was the first direct internal tax on colonists by parliament and it led to concerted resistance in the colonies. Stamp Act was a tax on legal and official documents and publications in the American colonies passed by the British parliament March 22nd, 17 1765 and the act was intended to raise money to not only help with war debts but also to pay for a large standing British army stationed

in North America. The tax applied to newspapers, almanacs which actually were a popular thing back then. I don't know that a lot of people are fucking rushing out to get their almanac anymore. Almanacs big deal though. Pamphlets also big deal. Broad sides, legal documents, dice, playing cards. Showed that the tax had been paid. Britain issued stamps that were affixed to documents or packages. And the colonists were mostly outraged at the lack of representation in Parliament when it came to passing this tax. They didn't have, you know, any say. Just no say in whether it passed or not. That whole taxation without representation representation argument and they wanted the same rights as many other British subjects

nine colonial assemblies ended up sending delegates to what they called the Stamp Act Congress an Extra legal convention that meant to coordinate the colonies response to the tax You know basically we're just gonna lay down and take this or are we gonna fight back? The opposition was successful and the tax was repealed in 1766, but tensions remained over some other taxes primarily. Particularly British import duty taxes in American ports and then those tensions escalated substantially beginning in 1770. That year British soldiers opened fire on a mob of angry colonists killing five men and wounding six others in an incident that became known as the Boston Massacre. This incident was the result of tensions centered around Boston leaders wanting to control duties on imports to the town without British Parliament interference. The fight over taxes and representation led to violent outbreaks in the streets between Bostonians and royal customs officials.

And to quell the violence, British soldiers occupied Boston starting in 1768. And this military occupation, of course, did little to subdue the rising anger between Boston colonists and British power. Instead of controlling and subduing the American population, British military presence just exacerbated the issue. Then on December 16, 1773, a group of colonists, somewhere between 30 and 120 men they boarded

British ships many of them disguised as Mohawk tribal warriors and they dumped 342 chests of tea into the Boston Harbor an act of protest we now call the Boston Tea Party British Parliament outraged they consider the destruction of the tea an act of treason and passed a series of measures called the coercive acts now now in response later known as the Intolerable Acts. This was a series of four laws meant to punish the American colonists for the Boston Tea Party. The Boston Port Act was the first of the Coercive Acts. Parliament passed the bill March 31st 1774. King George III gave it royal assent May 20th and the act authorized the Royal Navy to blockade Boston Harbor. Because, quote,

the commerce of his majesty's subjects cannot be safely carried on there. The blockade commenced June 1st, 1774, effectively closing Boston's port to any commercial traffic. Additionally, it forbade any exports to foreign ports or provinces. So they just kind of completely fucked over all of Boston's merchants. And all of the merchants in the surrounding areas dependent on shipments and goods coming into that harbor. The Massachusetts Government Act then ensured that only British loyalists governed Massachusetts colony and the act for the impartial administration of justice gave an incredible amount of

power to the loyalist governor of Massachusetts. Even allowing him to deport suspected criminals to Britain to be tried there instead of in the colonies. Another thing the colonists were now outraged over. Right of charge with a crime, there was no certainty you'd be tried by a jury of your peers. You could be shipped off to England where some judge, you know, possibly not a fan of American, you know, colonists at all, very loyal to the crown, could try you in a trial that was not at all fair. The quartering act was the fourth and final of the main intolerable acts. at all, very loyal to the Crown, could try you in a trial that was not at all fair. The Quartering Act was the fourth and final of the main intolerable acts.

The only act of the four to apply to all of the colonies, it allowed high-ranking military officials to demand better accommodations for troops and to refuse inconvenient locations for quarters. Colonists were now legally responsible for quartering soldiers whose primary job was to make sure that those colonists did not rebel against them. Basically, they had to pay for their own oppressors, which you know didn't sit real well with them. Collectively these acts were the final straw for the colonial subjects and now a group of colonial delegates including George Carmel Popcorn Nipples Washington

Met in Philadelphia in September 5th or September 5th, 1774 to organize resistance to the Intolerable Acts. This became known as the First Continental Congress, which was the first government of the 13 colonies. And I'm pretty sure George Washington was not known as Carmel Popcorn Nipples. What a conversation start of a nickname that would have been. The new Congress issued a Declaration of Rights, affirming its loyalty to England, but also disputing Parliament's right to tax them without representation.

So not a declaration of war yet, more of a declaration of, please stop fucking this over. We need to have a talk, or we might have to declare war and start fucking you back. Congress passed the Articles of Association calling on the colonies to stop importing goods from the British Isles starting on December 1st, 1774, if the Intolerable Acts are not repealed. A little, uh, you want to mess with our money? Okay, but we can fuck with yours right back. The Congress also declared that if Britain did not resolve their grievances in a timely manner, they would meet on May 10th, 1775 and cease exporting goods to Britain September 10th of that year. The First Continental Congress then disbanded October 26th, 1774, and they would not need

to meet again in May of 1775 because by then a war was already beginning. And leading directly to that war, April 18th, 1775, hundreds of British soldiers marched from Boston to Concord, Massachusetts to seize a cache of arms. Fearing what was looking like an imminent insurrection, General Thomas Gage, the British governor of Massachusetts, had received instructions from Great Britain to seize all stores of weapons and gunpowder accessible to American insurgents. He also set out to capture Patriot leaders Samuel Adams and John Hancock, known to be hiding out in Lexington. As the British departed, Boston Patriots Paul

Revere and William Dawes set out on horseback from the city to warn Adams and Hancock and rouse the Minutemen, aka colonial militia members. On April 19th, local militia clashed with the British at the battles of Lexington and Concord, and the opening shots of those battles, collectively, are what became known as the shot heard round the world. That marked the beginning of the American Revolutionary War, even though they didn't know that those first skirmishes were going to lead to a major war at that time. These initial skirmishes involved less than 6,000 men in total, resulted in 121 known deaths. But there was still hope among many at that point that a true war could still be avoided.

Now the Second Continental Congress meets Philadelphia May 10th 1775. During this gathering representatives still profess their loyalty to Britain but also declare that they will fight Britain, keep fighting Britain, if they don't repeal numerous acts affecting the colonies which Britain has no interest in doing. Then a month later June 14th 1775 this same Congress creates the Continental Army names 43 year old George Washington as commander-in-chief fucking go karma popcorn nickels Nipples go almost got him popcorn nickels Which doesn't ring the same Washington had made a name for himself as a great military mind in the French and Indian War

Now Congress issues its declaration of the causes and the sesty of taking up arms They added on the olive Branch petition, an appeal to King George III asking him to stop being such a fucking stubborn, stupid, fat-headed twat and help resolve their differences. But the king did not want to stop being a fucking stubborn, stupid, fat-headed twat and he dismissed the petition and so now it's truly a war. The first major battle of the revolution, the Battle of Bunker Hill, took place June 17th. Again, less than 6,000 men will fight, but now there will be 341 confirmed deaths, nearly 1,500 total casualties. The British win this battle, but also suffer a much higher number of casualties, and are shocked at how well the Americans are fighting.

And they know they're in for a prolonged and bloody struggle. After these skirmishes, by June of 1776, the majority of American colonists now wanted independence. In the spring of 1776, colonial governments had sent instructions to their congressional delegates, allowing them to vote for independence. Virginia's government instructed its delegation to submit a proposal for independence before Congress. And on June 7, 1776, Virginia delegate Richard Henry Lee, all Dick Hanke Lee, submitted the proposals. A proposal. Congress postponed the final vote until July 2nd, or July 1st. I don't know why I can't just fucking get

these dates straight. But appointed a committee to draft a provisional Declaration of Independence should the proposal pass. This committee consisted of five men, but most of the declaration was written by Thomas Jefferson. After those five guys all compared scrotum sizes, collectively decided that Tommy had the biggest sack by both surface area and weight and thus should do most of the writing. Or maybe he was just a better writer, sources vary. And on July 4th, 1776, Congress voted to approve the Declaration of Independence, which allowed them to now seek alliances with foreign nations as an independent nation themselves.

And this of course is why we celebrate American independence on July 4th to this day. And the U.S. will form an alliance with France, the nation they had been pitted against in that French and Indian War, two years later in early 1778. And there's a good chance the colonists would have lost the war if they hadn't done that. So while we did save, France has asked nearly two centuries later in World War II, really we were paying them back for saving our asses way back in the Revolutionary War. I think that historical detail is often forgotten. Between 1778 to 1782 France would provide the Continental Army with supplies,

arms, ammunition, uniforms, troops, naval support. They provided loans, clothing, gunpowder, muskets, cannons, provisions, military leadership, while the colonists struggled to not only fight the powerful British, but also learn how to properly govern themselves. And there were problems, growing pains, with the new colonial government from the very beginning. For example, the new American Congress could not collect any taxes to finance the war and therefore had to rely on contributions from the colonies, the states, which is not a great system. If the American military had to rely on some sort of, you know, just give what you can contribution system for funding today, we would not be, we would not have the American

military that we know of. Actually, if the American military had to rely on a system, you know, akin to church tithes more than legally mandated taxes, we probably wouldn't have America. We'd be part of Russia or China. In the end the Americans won the war obviously after securing the surrender of the British Yorktown in the fall of 1781, although sporadic fighting would continue into 1783. The Treaty of Paris signed in November of 1782 and on September 3rd 1783 Great Britain formally recognized the independence of the United States.

And today's subject, here we go! Alexander Hamilton would arrive in the colonies in late 1772 and be around for almost all of this. And now let's learn about how he helped win this war and more in a timeline of Hamilton's life from its beginning to end and then we'll actually keep on going for a few decades past his death to examine how his wife Eliza helped preserve his legacy. Shrap on those boots soldier we're marching down a time suck timeline.

Alexander Hamilton is born on January 11, 1755 or 1757. The exact year is unknown because Hamilton was a dirty scumbag. Real snake in the grass, real rascal, rapscallion if you will, a real hoodwink and ratfink. No, Hamilton said he was born in 1757, but official documents list a year as 1755. Most historians believe that Hamilton lied about his age, so let's go with 1755. And why would he lie? Well, if he did, it was for a good reason. In 1768, when Hamilton was likely 13 years old and not 11, his mom died, effectively leaving him an orphan, and shaving two years off of his age would have made him a more desirable candidate for an apprenticeship to a local businessman. And he needed an

apprenticeship to make it out of poverty. So maybe he wasn't working as a desk clerk, you know, when he was 11, 13, still pretty damn impressive. Hamilton was born in Charlestown on the island of Nevis in the British West Indies, a group of islands separating the Gulf of Mexico and the Caribbean Sea from the Atlantic Ocean. A very important British colony at the time. Wasn't very populated then. Still isn't now. There are only about 1,500 people in Charlestown. St. Kitts in Nevis is now a sovereign state, the smallest in the Western Hemisphere in terms of both size and population, consisting of just two islands in the Caribbean with a total population of less than 50,000.

The first capital of Nevis was founded in 1690 but was destroyed by an earthquake. Ron Chernow, author of one of the most well-known biographies on Hamilton, writes of Nevis, To modernize, Nevis may seem like a sleepy backwater to which Hamilton was confined before his momentous escape to St. Croix in North America. But if we adjust our vision to 18th century reality, we see that this West Indian setting was far from marginal. The crossroads of a bitter maritime rivalry among European powers vying for a mastery of the lucrative sugar trade. Yes, the Caribbean was prime territory for growing then a very lucrative sugar cane in Hamilton's time, when that sugar was called white gold. Not that Hamilton's kin were making lots of money off of it. He came from a very lower middle class family.

According to Chernow, on both his maternal and paternal sides, Hamilton's family clung to the insecure middle rung of West Indian life. Squeezed between plantation aristocrats above and street rabble and unruly slaves below. Street rabble. That's a funny term. So what does your family do? Not much. They're street rabble. They mostly scrape together a meager existence. Griftenfolks being tricksy and false and scurrying about for scraps when they're not hiding in the gutter.

I picture street rabble looking a lot like Gollum from Lord of the Rings. Alexander's parents were Rachel Fauset, Lavian, and James Hamilton. Jimbo, Slim Jim, Jay Bird, Jazzy Jay, Jay Dog, Jim or Jim Jam? James might be one of the easiest names to pile nicknames onto actually. James Spicy Sausage Thumbs Hamilton or just James Hamilton was born in 1718. The fourth of 11 children. His grandfather was Alexander Hamilton, the 14th Laird of Combus Keith line of Scottish Hamiltons. They possessed a coat of arms, once owned a castle back in Scotland. Family came from Ayrshire, Scotland, a county in the southwest.

Alexander had complicated, mostly negative feelings about his upbringings, but he did seem to be proud of this side of his heritage. He once said, quote, pretty fucking cool shit about the castle, right? I mean, damn, this shit was tight. You know what I'm saying? Like, for real, for real. No, he said, the truth is that, on the question as to who my parents were, I have better pretensions than most of those who in this country plume themselves on ancestry.

Okay, dude. I was back when heritage mattered a lot more than now, I guess. I've honestly never cared much about who my ancestors are. I don't really care what notable people are in my family tree or what countries they come from. And I'm curious, you know? And sure, being proud of your heritage, that can be fun, like, oh cool, but I don't really care. Like, I don't, it doesn't help perform my identity like some people I know. Sometimes I think people just get way too into their heritage, act like it makes them better than other people, but I think it's so stupid because none of us have literally anything to do

with anything our ancestors did. Right? Like people too quick to reference our ancestry remind me of crazy die-hard fans of various sports teams People who kind of act like like they have a hand In the accomplishments of the team. Did you play? No, do you coach? No, then actually you don't have fuck-all To do with how many games are won or lost? Oh You're great great great so many grades grandpa was William the Conqueror cool. Have you personally conquered anything? No, but how about we file a little bit of trivia under who gives a shit? Great, great, great, so many greats grandpa was William the Conqueror. Cool. Have you personally conquered anything? No? Then how about we file that little bit of trivia under who gives a shit. But times are different back when Alexander Hamilton was around

and for whatever reason heritage really mattered to a lot of people. His father James Hamilton was sent out by his brother on a four-year apprenticeship in 1737 and he traveled all the way to the Caribbean where he met Rachel Fauset in the 1850s. Rachel Fauset's the 1850s. Rachel Fauset's father, John Fauset, was a physician and a French Huguenot or Protestant. John Fauset had come to the West Indies because of the revocation of the Edict of Nantes. The Edict of Nantes was revoked by King Louis XIV and it guaranteed, or it had guaranteed, religious protection for Protestants. And then it was gone. John settled on the island of Nevis, where he, according to one source, quote, acquired a pretty fortune. Alexander Hamilton wrote that his grandfather was a man of letters and much of a gentleman. John married a British woman named

Mary Uppington. They had seven children together. Alexander's mom, Rachel, born around 1729. Five of the Fawcett children would die in infancy or early childhood. Jesus Christ, five out of the seven. That is absurd. Sad sign of the times. Only Rachel and one older sister would survive all the way to adulthood. The Fossetts owned a small sugar plantation and when Rachel came of age her parents married her to a much older man, Johann Michael Lavien, Danish merchant who settled on the island of St. Croix in the Danish West Indies. Hamilton wrote about his mother's husband, A Dane, a fortune hunter of the name of Lavien, came to Nevis, bedizzened with gold, and paid his address to my mother, then a handsome young woman having a snug fortune. According to Chernow, snug meant she had a pretty easy life up to that point.

Rachel was sixteen when she agreed to marry the much older Lavian in compliance with the wishes of her mother but against her own inclination. They were married in 1745. Rachel's son Peter, Alexander's half-brother, was born the next year and Lavian would not be a good husband. Rachel's mom was wrong about him. He was abusive to Rachel, also spent almost all of the inheritance she would receive after her father died in 1745. Rachel, after years of abuse and watching this asshole waste her family fortune, would leave her husband in 1750, which was a big deal back then. That did not happen very often. Levin would file a divorce decree alleging that Rachel had committed indecent and suspicious errors

and called her shameless, coarse, and ungodly. So a nasty divorce. He acted on a Danish law that allowed a husband to imprison his wife if she was twice found guilty of adultery and no longer lived with the husband. Rachel was actually arrested and thrown into the town jail. Not sure if there was even a trial. Or if he just said that she cheated on him, whatever, and then they just threw her in jail. Crazy how little it took to arrest people back then. When she was released months later, Rachel decided that she had to flee the island to

get away from Leavian and avoid imprisonment again, or worse, which meant she left her son Peter to go live with his father. That's a tough choice. Rachel now moves to St. Kitts, about 140 miles from St. Croix. It was there that she met and moved in with James Hamilton around 1752, despite still being legally married to Lavian. For shame! Lock her up!

Lock her up! Kidding. Lucifina knows I'm kidding. The two now have a son named James, a bastard. Born in 1753. Then, of course, another bastard, Alexander, is born. Lavian didn't divorce Rachel for five more years, not until 1758. James Hamilton, not the best father, he would abandon the family in 1766 when

Alexander was likely 11 and now Rachel and her sons live in poverty. It's possible he left the family so Rachel would not be charged with bigamy, a crime that you could be sentenced to death for back then. Hamilton, as you can see, had a tumultuous childhood. He was deeply ashamed of the fact that he was illegitimate and his political opponents would use that insecurity against him. Future President John Adams once called Hamilton the bastard brat of a Scottish peddler. Pretty dirty to use someone else's bastard status against him. It's not like they had anything to do with that, you know. It's not like it

was their fault in any way shape or form. I remember when I was a little kid thinking that bastard was such a shameful thing. I don't know, must have read it in a book or something. I remember I found out one of my cousins was born before their parents, or his parents, got married. I remember asking my mom in all seriousness, like so melodramatic, doesn't that mean that he's a bastard? I think she was like, what? Shut up. Don't say that. I felt stupid. I dropped it Apparently I was very puritanical for at least one moment of my childhood How does he live with the shame mother the shame of his bastardness? I probably picture my cousin like doomed to some sort of dick in the Dickensian life

You know working as like a chimney sweep people even calling him pip You know his bastard status just wouldn't allow him to surpass that. Pretty ridiculous. Super ridiculous that that was actually a way people once behaved in real life. Like they would look down on someone just because their parents weren't fucking married when they were born. I wish we knew more about Hamilton's childhood, but while Hamilton was known for being a very prolific writer, one topic he wrote almost nothing about and rarely discussed was his childhood in the Caribbean. He wrote, uh, my birth is the subject of the most humiliating criticism. So he didn't like to talk about it. Rachel set up a small shop to support herself after her husband

left. Alexander started working as a clerk at age 13, 11, probably 13. Hamilton's mother Rachel then became ill and died in 1768, most likely due to yellow fever. Plus, you know, years of stress and overwork. She was just 38 years old. Custody of Alexander now transferred to some of his mother's relatives and now he will be employed at a trading company called Beekman and Kruger, owned by two New York merchants who had recently moved to St. Croix. And before we really get going on Hamilton's rise from humble beginnings, time for our first of two mid-show sponsor breaks. Thanks for listening to those ads.

If you don't want to hear anymore, get the entire catalog ad free and more by signing up to be a space lizard on Patreon for five bucks a month. And now back to Nevis in 1768 when Hamilton gets the job that will dramatically change his future. While working at Beekman and Kruger, Hamilton learned at an early age all about trading ships and global commerce. Hamilton's son John will later say about his father's first job, amid his various engagements in later years, he averted to this time as the most useful part of his education. Hamilton's duties included keeping track of money and inventory, charting courses

for ships, computing prices and different currencies. He also developed strong penmanship skills back when that actually mattered. It's funny how much times have changed, right? Like, when was the last time an employer talked to you about your penmanship skills? Sorry, Nancy, but I'm afraid you're just not cut out for upper management. Your penmanship is atrocious. Look at this. Is that a capital S or lowercase z? Even though I was in grade school, I'm like, what are we doing working on penmanship is atrocious. Look at this. Is that a capital S or lowercase z?

Even though I was in grade school, I'm like, what are we doing working on penmanship? Alexander's employers were impressed with his work ethic and autonomy. Hamilton will later talk about how he had to work especially hard, harder than his peers, since he was not born with any advantages. His biographer Chernow would write, he was a proud and sensitive boy, caught in the lower reaches of a rigid class society with small chance for social mobility. Hamilton was good at his job, but he disliked the work. His longtime friend, Nathaniel Pendleton,

will later recall that he conceived so strong an aversion to it, to the clerkship, as to be induced to abandon altogether the pursuits of commerce. And I love that detail. Dude kicked ass at working as a clerk when he was no older than 13, even though he hated it. Little dude had a strong desire to succeed despite his lowly birth and circumstances and was willing to put in the work to do so.

I respect it's nasty in the grind. In a letter dated November 11, 1769, when Hamilton was either 12 or 14, he wrote that he felt demeaned by his low social station. This letter was written to his friend Edward Stevens, who was now studying in the colonies. Hamilton wrote, To confess my weakness, Ned, my ambition is so prevalent that I contemn the groveling and conditions of a clerk or the like to which my fortune condemns me and would willingly risk my life, though not my character, to which my fortune condemns me, and would willingly risk my life,

though not my character, to exalt my station. I'm confident, Ned, that my youth excludes me from any hopes of immediate preferment. Nor do I desire it, but I mean to prepare the way for futurity. No one fucking says that anymore. For my futurity! I'm no philosopher, you see, and may be justly said to build castles in the air. My folly makes me ashamed, and beg you'll conceal it, yet, letty, we have such schemes successful when the projector is constant. I shall conclude by saying I wish there was a war. Alex Hamilton. That is so well written for a young teen, and also so much of what a young teen boy would write. I wish there was a war! I want to show the world how tough I really am.

How brave. I want to show the world that I'm a hero. Well, Hamilton will get his war and to his credit, he will be heroic. As time passed, young Hamilton was given more responsibility, tasked with collecting more money owed to the firm. He once directed a cargo ship full of mules along the northwestern coast of South America. At the end of the journey, he lectured the skipper because the mules were starving and in poor condition. As a teenager Hamilton enjoyed expressing

through... oh my gosh, as a teenager Hamilton also enjoyed expressed himself through poetry. In 1771 at the age of either 14 or 16, let's go with 16, and I'll stop listing both of his age possibilities going forward, Hamilton's poems were published in the Royal Danish American Gazette, a paper founded in 1770. He introduced his poems with a note to the editor, Sir, I am a youth about seventeen, and consequently such an attempt as this must be presumptuous. But if, upon perusal, you think the following piece worthy of a place in your paper, by inserting it you'll much oblige your obedient servant, A.H. In his first poem, Hamilton wrote about a virgin resting by a brook with lambs wandering

around her. Okay, poet Neils wakes her up with a kiss, oh how romantic, before carrying her away in his arms for marital relations. Oh, fuck yeah, bro! Of course that's what this teen boy's writing about. Getting laid. One line reads, believe me, love is deeply sweet in wedlock's holy bands. All right. His next poem gets a little more raunchy. His next poem opened up with the line, Celia's an artful little slut. That's really taking things in a more hardcore direction

with that one. Letting his racing teenage hormones dictate his writing there. The poem describes a manipulative woman and ends with, so stroking Puss' velvet paws, how well the Jade conceals her claws. And Purs, but if at last last you have to squeeze her somewhat hard she spits her back up pernizgad good faith she has you fast okay did you know that the word slut was being used to describe a woman of low or loose character or per be a woman who's promiscuous back in the 18th century I did not that word was actually first used in that context in England way back in the mid 15th century. For some reason I thought it was a much more modern slur.

It's just funny for me to picture people saying it way back then. Antonio, I love you, you naughty little slut. I cannot release from my faculties our moments of forbidden pleasure, our loins damped from our collective passionate vigor, having become conjoined as a key to a lock. damp from our collective passionate vigor, having become conjoined as a key to a lock. I have never uttered or inscribed in ink by me to another living soul, only to you, my feelings of this sort, you tarty little skank you,

you rotten buxom harlot, how I desire you, how my throbbing cock worships thee. I will never love another as I love you. I will never cherish as I cherish you. I always love only you, and that loose yet tight sweet conniving confounding pussy that is my Achilles heel now and forever, and the sweet pound of flesh that will lead me to my downfall for sure. In 1772, Alexander was promoted from bookkeeper to manager at the ripe old age of seventeen.

But his time with the trading company was coming to an end. A massive hurricane hit the island of St. Croix the night of August 31st 1772. The newspaper the Royal Danish American Gazette, first known newspaper published in the Virgin Islands, reported in an article written by Hamilton that it was the most dreadful hurricane known in the memory of man. Fucking big one. The wind blew quote like great guns for about six hours, save for half an hour's intermission. The face of this once beautiful island is now so calamitous and disfigured as it would

beggar all description. Hamilton's description of the hurricane was published in the Gazette October 3rd, originally written the week after the hurricane. The editor introduced the letter by saying it was written by an anonymous youth for his father and a gentleman found it accidentally and showed it to others. Not sure why all that was said by the editor, because that's not true. Hamilton wrote, It seemed as if a total dissolution of nature was taking place. The roaring of the sea and wind, fiery meteors flying about in the air, the prodigious glare of almost perpetual lightning,

the crash of the falling houses, and the ear-piercing shrieks of the distressed were sufficient to strike astonishment into angels. The kid really knew how to paint a scene. Hamilton also viewed the hurricane as a divine rebuke of human vanity. Okay, and he wrote, this is pretty melodramatic, Where now, oh vile worm, is all thy boasted fortitude and resolution? What has become of thine arrogance and self-sufficiency? Death comes rushing on in triumph, veiled in a mantle of tenfold darkness. His relenting scythe, pointed and ready for the stroke, see thy wretched helpless state

and learn to know thyself. Despite thyself and adore thy God, O ye who revel in affluence, see the afflictions of humanity and bestow your superfluity to ease them, succor the miserable and lay up a treasure in heaven." Alright, just fucking calm down, Diva. Feels a bit dramatic to me. Okay, Mr. Scrabble. Different times, I guess.

According to the author Ron Chernow, Hamilton did not know it, but he had just written his way out of poverty. I guess people loved to read shit like that back then. If everything was written like that now, I would just probably just voluntarily be illiterate. Locals were impressed that a young man could write so beautifully. The governor of the island now wanted to know who wrote the piece, and once Hamilton was identified a group of local Businessmen put together a fund to send him to America to be educated The main donors were likely his past and present bosses as well as his guardian Thomas Stevens and very cool

They didn't know him anything didn't have to give him a dollar, but they saw his talent I mean, you know you heard that right? Took a liking to him paid to send him to America to be educated just because they felt it was the right thing to do and I love that. According to biography.com, Alexander's employer Nicholas Krueger was the main contributor. He thought so highly of Alexander's accounting skills that he and other businessmen pulled the resources with a minister and a newspaper editor named Hugh Knox to send Hamilton to America to receive that education. So that's the version is true. Very cool Nicholas.

Now easier thing to do, the selfish thing to do would be to keep Alexander around as a star employee. Instead he chose to go through the hassle of finding a replacement, sending away his most promising young clerk because he knew that was what was in the best interest not for him but for Alexander. Very altruistic right? Important to take little moments to remember that while the world has always had a lot of scumbags, also, it's always had a lot of great people. Alexander arrived in New York in late 1772. He flew there. Fucking don't even worry about it. Don't question it.

No, he took a ship. He started going to school at a prep school in Elizabethtown, New Jersey, but within a year in the fall of 1773, he was already enrolled at King's College, now Columbia University. Hamilton arrived in a country in a state of turmoil. Colonies were on the brink of revolution for the reasons I laid out earlier and Hamilton found himself more drawn to politics and academics. 1774 he wrote his first political articles defending the Americans. He wrote three total pamphlets. Back when pamphlets were a big fucking deal because he didn't have websites and emails. These pamphlets supported the Continental Congress on issues of non-importation, non-consumption,

and non-exportation of British products. Determined to become a self-made man and preferring to learn through experience rather than through books, Hamilton will leave King's College before graduation to join the revolution. He'll drill with the New York Provincial Artillery Company in 1775 at the age of 20 and soon he'll go on to fight and play leading roles in several key battles. Very next year, March 1776, Hamilton has made a captain in the Provincial Artillery. He's fucking doing it. He's making that name for himself.

Then later that year, he'll fight in the Battle of Long Island, August 27, 1776, a battle also known as the Battle of Brooklyn or the Battle of Brooklyn Heights. It was actually fought in present-day Brooklyn, not Long Island. A British victory that resulted in 300 American deaths and over a thousand soldiers captured. But Hamilton was said to have led and fought well. It was the largest battle fought during the Revolutionary War in terms of both troop deployment and combat and it would give the British the port of New York which they will hold for the rest of the war. Hamilton next fought in the Battle of White Plains,

just above New York, October 28, 1776, another defeat for George Washington and his soldiers, and following it they would retreat from New York. Shortly after these defeats, the Americans got two big wins during the Battles of Trenton and Princeton, in December of 1776 and January of 1777. Big crucial battles. Hamilton participated in the Battle of Trenton and Princeton in December of 1776 and January of 1777. Big crucial battles. Hamilton participated in the Battle of Trenton which prevented the British from crossing the Raritan River in New Jersey and attacking Washington's main army. Since August of 1776, the British under General William Howe had been pursuing Washington's Continental Army and pushing them out of New York.

On November 16, the British had taken Fort Washington in Manhattan, captured over 2,000 Americans. British forces then started pursuing the Americans in New Jersey. In mid-December, Washington took his army across to Delaware to camp out in Pennsylvania. They were hungry, had little ammunition and supplies, they were miserable. They knew they'd have to take action soon,

though, so Washington planned an assault on some Hessian mercenaries hired by the British at Trenton. On December 25th, 1776, Christmas Day, the army crosses the frozen river and begins a 19-mile march towards Trenton in the middle of a snowstorm, a fucking blizzard now considered this legendary march. And during the battle on December 26th, Washington beats a garrison of Hessian mercenaries and then withdraws before reinforcements can arrive. The mercenaries only had 1,400 soldiers. Washington had 2,400.

German Commander Colonel Johann Rall, leading the British Hessian forces, had been warned about the attack, but his troops were too tired to properly prepare a defense. After Colonel Rall was shot off his horse, fatally wounded, somewhere between 800 to 900 of his mercenaries surrendered. Only five Americans were wounded in this fighting.

Another two did freeze to death. This victory was a huge morale boost for the young American army and it led to a lot of new recruits joining the fight in subsequent weeks and to existing recruits re-upping their enlistments. Washington knew they wouldn't be able to hold Trenton for long due to a large number of British forces in the area and he withdrew again back across to Delaware. Then on December 30th he was back in New Jersey with 2,000 soldiers. Washington heard that there were 8,000 British soldiers coming for him. So he asked his militiamen, whose initial terms had expired, to please stay an extra six weeks. They do. He now has about 5,000 poorly trained soldiers.

British General Charles Cornwallis did not have 8,000 men, yet closer to about 5,500. After some skirmishes on January 1st, Cornwallis withdraws and assumes the Americans are trapped. Then that night, Washington orders 500 men to keep the campfires going as a fucking decoy while the rest of his force march to Princeton. They extinguish their torches, cover their wagon wheels in cloth so they can move quietly and without being seen. Oh, caramel popcorn nipples! He was a fucking great tactician. Washington's forces arrive in Princeton January 3rd, quickly break through British defensive lines. The Americans will lose somewhere between 25 and 44 men with another 40 wounded.

The British will lose somewhere between 50 and 100 men with another 58 to 70 wounded, and somewhere between 194 and 280 will be captured. Again following this victory, Washington moves his men before British reinforcements can arrive. February of 1777, George Washington invites Alexander Hamilton to become his aide-de-camp, or personal assistant, with the new rank of Lieutenant Colonel. Big-time promotion. Hamilton's smart, his valiant actions in the new war have gotten Washington's attention,

and for most of the next four years, Hamilton will work as Washington's assistant and become his most trusted advisor. He'll write letters for Washington, compose reports on reform, restructuring of the army. Washington will later send him on important missions when France enters the war because he had become fluent in French and could act as a liaison officer with the French. The two grew very close during their time together. Hamilton would also fight in two more important battles in the fall of 1777. The Battle of Brandywine Creek fought between Washington's army and the British September 11th of that year. Forces met near Chad's Ford, Pennsylvania. More

soldiers would fight at Brandywine than any other battle in the war. It was the second longest single-day battle with continuous fighting for 11 hours. The British won this battle, conquered Philadelphia, the U.S. capital at the time, September 26. Nearly 100 Americans died fighting, while approximately 600 more were wounded and another 400 were captured. Philadelphia will now be under British control for the next nine months. Nearly a month later, the Battle of Germantown fought October 4, 1777, another British victory in Pennsylvania. After the Brits took Philadelphia,

Washington launched a surprise attack on a poorly defended British camp, but the army did not pull off his battle plan. And this loss caused a lot of Americans to start to question his leadership. However, despite the defeat, the French were impressed with how well the Americans were fighting overall and would decide to help them. Also, Hamilton met his future wife during his military service. While being stationed in Morristown, New Jersey from December of 1779 to March of 1780, Hamilton took a liken to Elizabeth Schuyler, two years his junior, and within a year of their courting, December 14, 1780, Hamilton will wed the daughter of Revolutionary War General Philip

Schuyler, and they will go on to have eight children together. Alexander was attracted to Elizabeth because she was hot as fuck, and as a self-described, quote, titty guy, he loved that she had, quote, huge tatas. Her bra size was 40 triple L. Her nickname was Tipsy Lizzy, because she fell over a lot due to her center of gravity being rocked by 50 or over you know 140 or so pounds you know being nothing but boo. Alexander often called Motorboat Hamilton by those who knew him best was immediately enamored. He started carrying around an extra handkerchief whenever he was in Tipsy Lizzy's company to wipe the drool off

his chin and he had to really work hard to not constantly make sounds and her presence like a OOGA andGA! A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A married her in part because he wanted to increase his status. Common thing back then. His father, her father, Philip Schuyler was a powerful man. He was the patriarch of one of the most distinguished and wealthiest families in New York and he owned tens of thousands of acres in the Albany area. He also made a name for himself, commanded a militia during the French and Indian War in the 1750s and then distinguished himself further during the American Revolution. Philip helped plan a number of revolutionary war battles including the decisive American victory at the Battle of Saratoga in 1777 which marked a

major turning point in the war. Elizabeth's mother, Catherine van Rensselaer, was a socialite born to one of the oldest and wealthiest Dutch families living in New York State. Elizabeth, who went by the name of Eliza or Betsy usually, born in August of 1757, one of eight surviving the name of Eliza or Betsy usually born in August of 1757 when eight surviving children And Eliza was as written by contemporaries considered a beautiful woman and a quote bright star on the social scene She was a charismatic young lady Military and political figures made frequent visits to the Schuyler family One of those visitors was Alexander Hamilton who first stayed with the family and first met Eliza when traveling through Albany in 1777

who first stayed with the family and first met Eliza when traveling through Albany in 1777. Then in the winter of 1780 Eliza and Hamilton reconnected, a party thrown for Washington's staff by Eliza's aunt near Morristown. Eliza arrived in Morristown February 2nd 1780 bringing letters from her father to deliver to Washington. Because he was on Washington's staff Hamilton was able to socialize again with Eliza. Notice is you've grown up. Eliza's 22, Hamilton's 25 now and he becomes quote, smitten with her. A fellow aide said Hamilton is a gone man, and Hamilton now spent as much time as he could visiting Eliza. He normally had

a perfect memory, but one evening after returning from seeing her, he forgot the password to camp and was barred by the sentinel from entering. That is adorable! She was in his brain. He Could not stop thinking about her. Oh man, I love how powerful romantic infatuation and love can be. Most of the time. Most of the time I love it. Having a 16 and 18 year old at the moment,

sometimes it's a little annoying. One day you're their best buddy, the next day they're madly in love with somebody new. And you're just like, okay, cool. Guess we'll hang out again when this is over. By the time Hamilton left Morristown in March of 1780, he and Eliza had agreed to get married. Eliza knew about Hamilton's background, which wasn't considered ideal for a woman of high class, but she was too smitten by him to care that he was a dirty lowborn bastard.

All of the Skyler daughters were said to be intelligent and beautiful women, and Hamilton may have also been romantically interested in her older sister Angelica Schuyler. Their attraction was obvious, apparently, to a lot of their friends, a lot of contemporaries. Some people assumed they were lovers, and they exchanged a lot of letters that many historians have found maybe a little flirtatious. According to biographer Ron Chernow, Hamilton likely would have proposed to her if she was available, but she was married. How uncomfortable would you be if you knew that your partner actually wanted to fuck one of your siblings probably more than you? Oh my God. Imagine figuring out that if your sibling would have been available, they would have chose them. Or in the writing letters, imagine finding a letter

between your spouse and your sibling, like, Dearest Angelica, your sister and I are enjoying our honeymoon, and I find my mind wandering back towards you as always. When I close my eyes and I lean in for a kiss, it is your lips I imagine touching. When I untangle your sister's bodice and release her bosom, it is your breasts I imagine laying my lustful eyes upon.

I care deeply for your sister, I do. But she does not set fire to my loins as you do. My love for her does not throb and harden as it does for you. How I wish you were here. Perhaps we can all share a bed when we return. You two shared a bed as children and certainly saw one another's bodies bereft of the puritanical trappings of modern attire. At least tell me you'll consider it. Alas, I must stop writing now. Your sister and I are to try for a child. Just please know, sweet, sweet

Angelica, when I finish inside your sister's womb, it is your womb that I think of." So I mean, yeah, that'd be pretty creepy to find that. I mean, if you found a letter between, you know, your sibling and your spouse, it probably wouldn't be that explicit and creepy. Maybe it would though. You know, I have known a fair amount of people actually who either they in a previous relationship got cheated on and the person who cheated on them cheated with a sibling or people who are actually married and had like the husband had an affair with his sister. That'd be fucking crazy. Hamilton also wrote letters to Margarita, aka Peggy Schuyler, Eliza's younger sister, describing his feelings for Eliza. And one of those said,

She is most unmercifully handsome and so perverse that she has none of those pretty affections which are the prerogatives of beauty. Her good sense is destitute of the happy mixture of vanity and ostentation which would make it conspicuous to the whole tribe of fools and foplinks. She has good nature, affability, and vivacity, unembellished with that charming frivolousness, which is justly deemed one of the principal accomplishments

of a belle. In short, she is so strange a creature that she possesses all the beauties, virtues, and graces of her sex without any of those amiable defects, which are esteemed by Connoisseur's necessary shades and the character of a fine woman. He didn't know how to write. I like the fools and foplins line. We gotta start trying to work that in the conversations. Look at these fools and foplins headed out on their scooters. That's a look. I swear

the world just get more full of fools and foplins by the more fools and foplins thinking the fucking foplins uh Hamilton and Eliza's marriage would not be perfect but they did love each other deeply and Eliza would be extremely loyal to Alexander by mid-summer of 1781 Hamilton was eager to get back on the battlefield back on February 15 1781 Hamilton had been reprimanded by George Washington after some kind of misunderstanding and although Washington quickly tried to mend the relationship, Hamilton insisted on leaving

his staff now. He left in March, lived with Eliza near Washington's headquarters, and then he would repeatedly ask Washington for a field command if we were to come back. And in July of 1781, he would be granted that. Washington gave Alexander command of an infantry battalion in Marquise de Lafayette's division. Lafayette was a French nobleman who had volunteered to join the Continental Army. We can do a whole suck on that guy. Very important historical figure. After returning to France following kickin' ass for the Americans, Lafayette became a key figure in the French Revolution of 1789 and the July Revolution of 1830.

And continues to be celebrated as a hero in both both France and the US today Sometimes known as the hero of two worlds for his accomplishments in the service of both France and the US Okay during the fall of 1781 Hamilton helped lead the attack at the Battle of Yorktown Which would be the last major land battle of the revolution the siege lasted from 17 of September 28 excuse me to October 19 1781. The year before, in the summer of 1780, 5,500 French soldiers had landed in Newport, Rhode Island to help the Americans and their assistance shifted the war in the Americans' favor. In mid-September of 1781, Washington and the French arrived in Williamsburg, Virginia, just 13 miles from Yorktown. By this point, the British, under Lord Cornwallis' command, constructed a defense of 10 small

forts called Redouts with artillery, batteries, and trenches. Cornwallis asked for aid, was promised a fleet of 5,000 soldiers. There was about 2,500 Americans and 4,000 French soldiers, facing approximately 8,000 British. The Americans started digging their own trenches and launched an artillery assault on October 9. Washington now ordered the digging of a new trench October 11th, which meant the

Americans would have to destroy Rebouts 9 and 10. The French took care of 9, the siege of 10, assigned to one Alexander Hamilton. And according to historian and author Michael E. Newton, in Hamilton's day, showing courage on the field of battle was one of just a few ways for an unknown person to win fame. Hamilton had a genius and was hardworking, but did not come from an illustrious family like most of the Founding Fathers. He knew that winning glory in battle would make him famous and help further his career. Command of Redoubt 10 was originally given to someone else, but Hamilton objected, arguing it was his turn and he had seniority. He desperately wanted to prove himself. When Washington overturned

the decision and gave him command, Hamilton rushed over to his friend slash second command, Nicholas Fish, and excitedly said, we have it! We have it! Years later, John Adams would tell his friend, Benjamin Rush, that Hamilton had blackmailed Washington to get command at Yorktown, saying Hamilton flew into a violent passion, demanded the command of the party for himself, and declared if he did not get it, he would expose General Washington's conduct in a pamphlet. And I doubt that happened. Hamilton and Adams were, you know, they had a rivalry. I bet that was Adams talking shit there.

The strategy of the Patriots under Hamilton's command now, however he got it, was to approach in silence with guns unloaded, encircle the enemy, and force them to surrender quickly with few casualties. It was a surprise attack in the dark of the night. Bayonets were used instead of guns for as long as possible. That would be fucking intense. And soldiers were ordered to keep silent. Ron Chernow wrote in his book, "'After nightfall on October 14th,

the Allies fired several consecutive shells in the air that brilliantly illuminated the sky. Hamilton and the soldiers came out of the trenches and ran a quarter mile with their bayonets out. For the sake of silence, surprise, and soldierly pride, they had unloaded their guns to take the position with bayonets alone. Dodging heavy fire, they let out war whoops that startled their enemies. The whole operation had consumed fewer than ten minutes. It's badass. Hamilton's report on the battle was published in newspapers. He did not mention his accomplishments, but Lafayette's report was published as well,

in which the French hero did praise Hamilton's valor. Hamilton lost just nine of his 400 men in this battle, with another 30 being wounded. The French lost 27 out of 400, with 109 wounded. General Cornwallis got fucking trapped. His aid would not be coming because they were blocked by a French fleet. And then patriot forces snuffed out the last remains of resistance amongst the British. Cornwallis attempted to evacuate October 16th, but a storm stopped him. On October 19th, the Brits sent a drummer boy out followed by an officer with the white handkerchief.

The Americans would take over 7,000 prisoners, including Cornwallis, who would then be shipped back to Britain as a loser. March of 1782 the British Parliament now passed a resolution calling for an end to the war. But they still had 30,000 soldiers roughly in North America, in New York, Charlestown, and Savannah. And there would be more sporadic fighting back when it was a lot harder than now to get the word out that the war was over. Finally a year and a half later, holy shit news moved slow the days before phones and mail was taking places by airplanes. And the that the war was over. Finally, a year and a half later, holy shit news moved slow in the days before phones and mail was taking places by airplanes. And the Treaty of Paris would be signed September 3rd, 1783, officially ending the war.

The siege of Yorktown was by far the biggest moment of Hamilton's military career, and he accomplished his goal of making a name for himself, which now allowed him to launch his political career in the post-war period. And before we discuss Hamilton's post-war life, time for today's second of two mid-show sponsor breaks. Thanks for listening to those sponsors. Now let's return to the 1780s when Alexander Hamilton is emerging from the aftermath of the Revolutionary War as one of the new nation's most important political figures. While serving as Washington's advisor during the war, Hamilton had observed the weaknesses of the Continental Congress such as jealousy between states and a lack of centralized power. And he believed these problems were

caused by the Articles of Confederation. Articles of Confederation and Perpetual Union was the first written Constitution of the U.S. It was written in 1777 but not ratified until March 1st of 1781. This document named the thirteen colonies the United States of America. Articles of Confederation allowed states to remain sovereign and independent, while Congress acted as a last resort for interstate disputes. Congress had the authority to make treaties and alliances, maintain armed forces, and coin money, but they could not levy taxes or regulate commerce, an issue that led to the later Constitutional Convention of 1787

From the beginning of the American Revolution Continental Congress wanted a stronger union in a government that had enough power to win the war But the states feared central authority Commonly accepted political notion at the time stated the Republic could not adequately serve a large nation and would turn it into a tyranny There's still today a lot of people who believe in some version of this that the federal government has far too much power. Not me. What's the point of the United States of America if we're not actually united? There were six drafts of the articles and the final draft was decided in 1777. Benjamin Franklin had written the first draft, presented it to Congress in July of 1775. The fourth version, written by John Dickinson of Pennsylvania, in June of 1776, would be the basis for the final draft. A committee discussed and revised

the draft in late July and August. The third version of Dickinson's original was printed, and in November of 1777, the final articles were approved for submission to the states. By 1779, all states had approved except for Maryland. Then Thomas Jefferson of Virginia persuaded his state to yield land claims to the West of Maryland, which convinced Maryland to ratify the Articles, and they went into effect on March 1, 1781. Article 3 described the confederation of states as a firm league of friendship for common defense, the security of their liberties, and the mutual and general welfare. The confederation would have a one-ch one chamber congress and each state would get one vote. And as mentioned each state retained its sovereignty,

freedom, and independence. The states not united. But now with the ability to levy taxes, Congress has a lot of trouble paying off debts accrued in the war. Alexander Hamilton analyzed the financial and political weaknesses of the government in letters to Robert Morris, the superintendent of finance, along with Hamilton and a Swiss-born man named Albert Gallatin. Morris is widely regarded now as one of the founders of the financial system of the U.S. Before he gets started in politics, Hamilton decides to study law for a little bit. In November of 1781, as the war is winding down, Alexander moves to Albany to go to law school there, and then he is admitted to a law practice eight months later, July of 1782. Seems pretty quick,

eight months. I guess not as many laws to study back then. No need for three years after four years spent getting your bachelor's when it's a brand new country. You really don't have that many laws. Months later, the state of New York elects Hamilton to the Continental Congress and Alexander quickly gets to work writing essays arguing for a strong central government as he also works in law. No one loved an essay more than Alexander Hamilton. He will write a bunch of them.

From November 1782 to July of 1783 he argued in his essays for expanding federal power in the Continental Congress emphasizing the weaknesses of the Articles of Confederation. And then also started practicing law in New York City in 1783. He interestingly primarily defended British loyalists aka the Tories in suits brought against them by Patriots. When the British had taken over New York in 1776 many Patriots fled and loyalists occupied their abandoned homes and businesses and then when Patriots returned to their homes after the war and found them occupied well they fucking sued the people living there under the

Trespass Act which was established in 1783 specifically to allow rebels to collect damages from loyalists who did occupy their homes and businesses. But Hamilton didn't find that this was a very fair law in every instance and in 1784 he was lead counsel in Rutgers versus Waddington, a landmark case that established a principle of judicial review that we still use today. The belief that courts have the right and responsibility to interpret the law. Hamilton worked on 45 more trespass cases and was instrumental in repealing the Trespass Act. Same year Hamilton assisted in founding the Bank of New York.

Dude had his hands in a lot of important new jars. And he officially starts to work in politics. Like really really work. Alexander wins an election, is elected to the lower house of the New York State Legislature. He took a seat in January of 1787. The legislature also appointed him a delegate to a convention in Annapolis, Maryland. And they met in September of 1786 to discuss the dire financial situation of the new union. Hamilton suggested that this convention had exceeded its powers. He called instead for a meeting of representatives from all states to

discuss the nation's most important issues. He drafted an address to the states, which was endorsed by the confederation congress in February of 1787. All 13 states now invited to send delegates to Philadelphia. How strange and exciting it must have been to live through all this, right? To live in a land that is no longer under British control, but also a land where no one has really figured out how to govern themselves yet. Very chaotic, but also, man, you could legitimately entertain dreams of how much better than before everything could now be. I think we've lost that for the most part, right? Or at least it feels that way to me most times. Like for example, we know right now

that our healthcare system is completely fucked up. Like it's a terrible joke. Navigating the health insurance game when you get sick is unnecessarily complicated and time-consuming and expensive and horrific and I'm positive it leads to a preposterous amount of avoidable deaths every single year and so many people can't even afford insurance to play that game You know and it's responsible for the unnecessary suffering You know this lack of you know health care for everybody and then the mess for the people who can't afford insurance It's responsible for the unnecessary suffering of tens of millions of Americans every single day

How many people do you know who have serious health issues? They could get fixed are fixable But they don't get them fixed because they can't afford to you know, even if they have insurance, you know Because their premiums are too high or whatever the deductibles people with arthritis bursitis You know that could be helped with PRP injections Maybe insurance won't cover it or it's very expensive to cover people with torn tendons, crushed discs, hernias, debilitating migraines, hearing problems, digestive problems, on and on and on. You know, and they just kind of just fucking live with it. They just deal with it. Because they can't afford to get it taken care of even though it could be fixed. It's bullshit.

And it doesn't need to be that way. If we had stronger politicians willing to gut our current medical system, people willing to stand up to big pharma, to big insurance company execs, you know, big big lobbying firms and just tell them that the price gouging gravy train is fucking over That we don't give a shit what it does to their stock market valuation You know people who will rebuild things better It could be fixed But with all the laws and the books and the checks and balances the different branches of our divided government Full of politicians who refuse to work with members of the opposing party because of optics People who care much more about how often they get their Instagram posts like or their tweets

Retweeted that they do about bringing about true reform and all the high-powered attorneys of wealthy pharmaceutical insurance companies and all the pockets They can grease of so many politicians bringing about true form to our system now to me outside of a very bloody revolution Seems completely hopeless But back in the late 1780s, after they did shed a lot of blood to tear down the old system and build something better, right, you actually could fix shit. You know, you had this blank slate. You could paint it how you wanted.

If you could get enough people to agree with you, you could really build something special. And I'm so jealous of that. The Constitutional Convention opened at the Pennsylvania State House on May 25th, 1787. This was the same place the Declaration of Independence had been adopted 11 years earlier. Fifty-five delegates attended, but delegates from Rhode Island refused to participate. Hamilton was one of just three New York delegates that

attended. The delegates were largely educated men who were merchants, farmers, bankers, and lawyers. And they were all men. Because back then, all women were submitted. And basically considered to be the property of their husbands and fathers. Sorry, ladies. Lucifina is not happy about this. Oh, and they were all white men. In case you forgot.

As one historian noted, it was a convention of the well-bred, the well-fed, the well-read, and the well-wed. Nicely put. Many had served in the Continental Army, Continental Legislatures, or the Continental Congress. Eight of them had signed the Declaration of Independence, and six had signed the Articles of Confederation. In this convention, unanimously selected George Washington to be president.

June 18, Hamilton gave a six-hour speech on his idea of how the new national government could work Yeah, fuck me six-hour speech one speech six hours. No, thanks. I don't care how good it was. I Hope there was intermission. There's no way I could sit for six hours straight Just listen to anyone talk about anything and I have to grab some snacks, you know, get some water go use the bathroom Sneak out sneak back game when it's all over tell people how great it was Hamilton believed the federal government should have had powers over the states. In this opinion, not well received. Didn't have much impact at the time. He was criticized for wanting what others saw as a monarchy, the very thing they had just broken away from.

During the convention, the delegates created a constitution that did give power to the federal government, but still had a chance of being accepted by American citizens wary of a federal government's power. They established a system of government that is still in place today. A federal government with three branches, executive, legislative, and judicial, as well as a system of checks and balances. The preamble outlines the purpose and guiding principles of the Constitution. The Bill of Rights are ten amendments that guarantee protections like freedom of speech

and religion. These became part of the Constitution in 1791. Reporters and visitors were not allowed at the convention, but James Madison did keep a detailed account of what happened and his widow will later sell his record to the government for $30,000 in 1837. The delegates spent that summer debating all sorts of various issues. One issue was the number of representatives per state. Larger states wanted the population to determine the number of representatives. Smaller states wanted equal representation.

And of course they did. And you know what? Shut the fuck up Rhode Island. You're lucky the rest of us even allow you to be a state. Says a guy from Idaho. State that also doesn't have that many people. And would have almost no say politically if it weren't for the Senate. The Connecticut Compromise proposed a bicameral two chamber legislature with proportional

representation of the states in the lower house as far as population, House representatives, and equal representatives in the upper house, the Senate. Another divisive issue was slavery. Northern states wanted to outlaw slavery federally. The South insisted it should be a state-to-state issue. In the end, Northerners reluctantly agreed with the Southern states only so the South would not secede and form their own country. The convention also decided that enslaved people should be counted as three-fifths of

a person in order to determine how many representatives a state could send to Congress. It's fucking crazy. It became known as the Three-Fifths Compromise. I'm sure those slaves were all fucking super pumped to contribute to a larger amount of delegates from states that had zero intention of ever freeing them. The convention also agreed that Congress could not prohibit the slave trade in any manner before 1808, and that states were required

to return fugitive and slave people back to their owners. By September of 1787, the Committee of Style, which concluded Hamilton, Madison, William Samuel Johnson, Governor Morris from New York, and Rufus King of Massachusetts drafted the 4200 word final draft. And Rufus King, that's a fun name. I was not familiar with that founding father. He was actually a big fan of Alexander Hamilton and his fiscal policies. The other two New York delegates opposed Alexander's plan for a new government and withdrew from the convention, which meant New York not actually represented. Nevertheless, the remaining delegates signed the Constitution September 17, 1787.

Hamilton couldn't sign for his state because he was just one person, so he just signed as an individual. 39 out of 55 delegates signed the Constitution. Three refused to approve the document. That's pretty funny, right? When it comes to politics and religion, you just can't ever get everyone to agree. You can't get everyone to agree on what's real or what's what the right course of action is. We so cherish the Constitution today, but it was not loved by everybody when it was created. Nine out of the 13 states had to ratify the Constitution for it to become law. New York anti-federalists went on to the press to criticize the Constitution arguing it gave Congress too much power

and the Americans would lose too many of the freedoms they just fought for. Hamilton wrote articles responding to criticisms in the Constitution in New York. Wrote them in the papers under the pen name of Caesar. Very common at that time to write under pen names so you didn't have to worry about blowback hurting your career. When people didn't seem to care what Caesar had to say, he started to write new articles defending the Constitution under the pen name of Publius now. From October of 1787 to May of 1788, Alexander Hamilton, James Madison, and John Jay collaborate

to write many more essays. They wrote what would become known as The Federalist, a series of essays defending the Constitution and the new government. These essays were published in several New York papers. John Jay helped negotiate the Treaty of Paris as well with Secretary of Foreign Affairs under the Articles of Confederation.

Madison was in New York at the time serving in the Confederation Congress. And The Federalist is considered one of the classics of political literature. It was later called The Federalist Papers. Hamilton wrote some of the most important essays that interpreted the Constitution, explained the powers of the executive office, the Senate, the judiciary branch, and promoted the theory of judicial review. He wrote 51 of the 85 total essays. And the first 77 essays were published in a book titled The Federalist in 1788. The first Federalist paper was published October 27, 1787 in the Independent Journal written

by Publius and addressed to the people of the state of New York. Hamilton used that fake name so he and James Madison would not be accused of betraying confidentiality and the introductory paragraph stated, "'After an unequivocal experience of the inefficiency of the subsisting Federal Government, you are called upon to deliberate on a new Constitution for the United States of America. The subject speaks its own importance, comprehending in its consequences nothing less than the existence of the Union, the safety and welfare of the parts of which it is composed,

the fate of an Empire, in many respects the most interesting in the world. It has been frequently remarked that it seems to have been reserved to the people of this country by their conduct and example to decide the important question. Whether societies of men are really capable or not of establishing good government from reflection and choice, or whether they are forever destined to depend for their political constitutions on accident and force. If there be any truth in the remark, the crisis at which we are arrived may with propriety be regarded as the era in which that decision is to be made, and a wrong election of the part we shall act may in this view deserve to be considered as the general misfortune of mankind." Don't fuck it up you guys. This is very important.

John Jay wrote the next four essays, but then dropped out due to rheumatism. He wrote a fifth essay after he recovered. James Madison later, fourth president of the US, contributed 29 of the essays. And Federalist 10 considered the most influential of all the essays and in it Madison argued against French philosopher Montesquieu's assertion that democracy was only possible for small states. That reminds me of the current argument that the Nordic model of government, where there's still capitalism but also free health care, higher education, etc. You know in countries that consistently rank at the very top of indexes, global indexes, of who has the best overall quality of life, that that's only possible in small countries. Is that true? Or is that a lie that American

politicians have perpetually, you know, sold us? Politicians beholden to corporate interests. Madison suggested a larger public could balance the interests of different groups, writing, Extend the sphere and you take in a greater variety of parties and interests. You make it less probable that a majority of the whole will have a common motive to invade the rights of other citizens. Hamilton emphasized the government's weakness in law enforcement under the current articles, then defended the Constitution in the next 14 essays.

Seven essays were dedicated to the importance of taxation. Madison wrote 20 essays on governmental structure and checks and balances. Madison wrote in Federalist 51, if men were angels, no government would be necessary. If angels were to govern men, neither external nor internal controls on government would be necessary. So true. Government is necessary because too many of us are too fucking stupid and selfish to be left to our own devices. Or just cruel. Hamilton wrote the last 21 essays describing the powers of the three branches of government. In paper number 85, Hamilton wrote, after laying out his arguments,

Thus have I, fellow citizens, executed the task I had assigned to myself, with what success your conduct must determine. I trust at least you will admit that I have not failed in the assurance I gave you respecting the spirit with which my endeavours should be conducted. I have addressed myself purely to your judgments, and have studiously avoided those asperities, which are too apt to disgrace political disputants of all parties, and which have been not a little provoked by the language and conduct of the opponents of the Constitution. The charge of conspiracy against the liberties of the people,

which has been indiscriminately brought against the advocates of the plan, has something in it too wanton and too malignant not to excite the indignation of every man who feels in his own bosom a refutation of the Columny. Perpetual changes, which have been wrung upon the wealthy, the well-born, and the great, have been such as to inspire the disgust of all sensible men. And the unwarrantable concealments and misrepresentations, which have been in various ways practiced to keep the truth from the public eye, have been of a nature to demand the reprobation of all honest men.

Is it not impossible that these circumstances may have occasionally betrayed me into intemperances of expression, which I did not intend? It is certain that I have frequently felt a struggle between sensibility... Easy on the flute! Easy on the fucking flute!...struggle between sensibility- EASY ON THE FLUTE! EASY ON THE FUCKING FLUTE! Struggle between sensibility and moderation. And if the former has in some instances prevailed, it must be my excuse that has been neither often nor much. Sorry about that, flute guy. That actually wasn't a YouTube video.

I have a fucking band in the studio today. The FUCKING FLUTE GUY! Gotta keep keep it down December 7th 1787 five more states ratified the Constitution in quick succession February of 1788 Massachusetts and other states agreed to ratify the Constitution with assurance that amendments guaranteeing freedom of speech religion and press would be proposed immediately Maryland and South Carolina soon followed. June 21, 1788, New Hampshire becomes the ninth state to ratify the Constitution. And the new Constitution goes into effect March 4, 1789.

Virginia ratifies June 25, 1788. New York finally ratifies July 26, 1788 with Hamilton's convincing after a ratifying convention in June. That year Hamilton was reappointed as a state delegate to the Continental Congress. North Carolina and Rhode Island, the last two states, of course, to ratify the constitution. Rhode Island, you motherfuckers. If you would have held out Massachusetts and Connecticut would have tag-teamed and spit-roasted your little ass. Divided you up. I don't know why I like to go hard on Rhode Island. I should be picking on Delaware. They have less people.

Or Vermont. Least populated of the eastern states. Did you know that during the American Revolution, Vermont declared independence separately from the original 13 colonies? And that the Continental Congress was just basically like, you know what, how about you shut the fuck up, Vermont? And just refused to recognize their independence and then they just fell in line in 1791. That's true.

George Washington, it's not great. First president of the US April 30th, 1789, Washington appointed Hamilton to act as the first Secretary of the Treasury from 1789 to 1795. Hamilton believed the Constitution gave him authority to create economic policies that would strengthen the central government. That was the main goal of his during his time as Secretary of Treasury. James Madison, then in the House of Representatives, introduced 19 amendments to the Constitution in 1789.

On September 25th of that year, Congress adopted 12 amendments sent then to the states for ratification. Ten amendments were called to Bill of Rights and ratified December 10th, 1791. Meanwhile, Hamilton would propose fiscal policies that initiated the payment of federal war bonds, had the federal government assume states' debts, instituted a federal system for taxes, and would help the U.S. establish credit with other countries. Huge deal. Congress first tasked him with planning for the adequate support of public credit. In his first two reports, published in December of 1790, Hamilton urged Congress to fully assume national debt accrued by the states

during the revolution, then establish a tax system to pay for it. If a strong opposition was only able to get his plan through Congress by bargaining with then Secretary of State Thomas Jefferson, southern states agreed to vote for assumption of debt if the future capital of the new nation would be located not in the north but on the border between the north and south on the border of Virginia and Maryland and that is how the location and creation of the District of Columbia came to be. Washington DC neither a northern state nor a southern state but bordering both. The compromise was reached during the dinner between Hamilton and Madison June 20, 1790, became known as the dinner table bargain.

And the compromise led directly to the passage of the Residence Act, which formally created Washington, D.C. in July of 1790. So that's some cool trivia. Hamilton's third report also submitted in December of 1790. In it, he advocated for the Bank of the United States modeled after the Bank of England. Congress passed the bank charter and he persuaded our new president George Washington to sign it into law. And this is huge. You can't really be a nation if you don't have financial order. You have to mint your own national currency, be able to borrow money from other nations,

be able to lend money to other nations, have a treasury to store money collected from taxes, etc. The backbone of a nation is its economy, and Hamilton had a huge influence in building hours. In his report, Hamilton argued that the Constitution was the source of implied and enumerated powers, and this doctrine of implied powers became the basis for interpreting the Constitution in subsequent years. In his fourth report, issued in December of 1791, Hamilton

proposed to aid industry growth with protective laws. He argued for subsidies and tariffs to promote industrial growth. He believed that the country's general welfare required the encouragement of mass manufacturing and that the federal government was obligated to help the economy out in this way. The first political parties in the US were partially influenced by division over Hamilton's economic policies as well as foreign policy issues. Hamilton, and I think this is pretty awesome, did not care for or approve of political parties in general. He thought they would cause disorder and instability. And holy shit, does that ring true today.

My god, so much division. It's insane. He thought the government should be full of superior individuals who were above parties and fucking hail Nimrod. Bingo! I didn't know he said that when I essentially preached the same shit in some stand-up shows the past couple years. I would love to see political parties outlawed if I could magically have it my way. All of them, honestly. Every politician would, in my ideal world, of them, honestly. Every politician would in my ideal world have to stand alone and instead of being able to ride the coattails of more well-known politicians and their party in order to be elected, they'd have to live and die on their voting records if they'd already served, on the merit of their life's work, and on their political platforms. Political parties I think encourage a wildly unhealthy amount of group think and too much fear of career and

livelihood repercussion for standing up against a party platform. Ironically though, Hamilton would later become a leader of the future Federalist Party. More on that in a bit. He did so because he needed support and strong leaders in the executive branch which would allow his economic programs to pass in Congress. And that is unfortunately why we have parties. Fuck. Are they an inevitable necessary evil?

I'm not sure. James Madison and Thomas Jefferson were two of Hamilton's main opponents and the early founders of the Democratic Republican Party. One big difference between this party and the Federalist was that the Federalists wanted to keep some ties to England while the Republicans wanted to strengthen their partnership with France. Hamilton tried to block Jefferson's policies that would help relations with France because he disliked the egalitarian principles of the French Revolution. Hamilton even went as far as to warn British officials that Jefferson was too attached to France and suggested they send communications to him and the president on foreign policy.

This caused a major feud with Thomas Jefferson, one of several feuds in Hamilton's lifetime. And I do love the passion Hamilton had for what he thought was best. He was not afraid to forcefully oppose anyone. Hamilton's most well-known feud would involve Aaron Burr, another prominent politician. Hamilton and Burr became rivals of a sort in 1789 when they debated the Constitution. Alexander Hamilton, Aaron Burr also had some important similarities. They were both orphans, both war veterans, both successful young politicians. Aaron Burr had been born in Newark, New Jersey, February 6, 1756. Came from a long line of English gentry who were active in politics. His father was a Presbyterian minister and the president

of the College of New Jersey, which will later become Princeton. Both of Burr's parents died before his second birthday. Afterwards, Burr and his sister were sent to live with their wealthy uncle. So maybe he and Hamilton did not have that similar of backgrounds. Orphans, but one came from a lot more money than the other. John Sedwick, author of War of Two, told History.com, Burr was orphaned but was as high born a character as you could find. It was John Adams who noted that almost nobody in American life was as much of a shoe-in to the very top as Burr. In 1769, 13-year-old Burr enrolled to the college in New Jersey, graduated summa cum laude in just three years. Three years, starting when he was 13. Was college so much easier back

then or are kids just so much lazier now? I get worried that sometimes I push my student to be 19-year-old too hard, start grinding now, right? Because a lot of people like, ah come on, cut in some slack, he's just a kid. But back in the 18th century, he'd be expected already to be making a fucking name for himself now. Already have a degree, right? Real job, maybe starting a family, providing for him. Burr then attended the Litchfield Law School in Connecticut, but his studies were put on hold because of the war. He served as an aide-de-camp to Colonial General Richard Montgomery. Oh, fucking Dick Gumry.

During the Revolution and served well, received a Congressional commendation for his bravery. He also fought with infamous traitor Benedict Arnold during his 1775 expedition to Quebec. Arnold, just real quick, had fought with the distinction for the American Continental Army, rose to the rank of Major General before defecting to the British in 1780. General George Washington had given him his fullest trust, placed him in command of West Point in New York. Arnold was planning to surrender the fort to British forces, but the plot was discovered in September of 1780, whereupon he fled to the British lines. Back to Burr now. By 1776, Burr was promoted to

major, was appointed to serve under George Washington at his home in New York. He was later transferred to the staff of General Israel Putnam, whom he would work for until he retired in 1779. Burr then returned to law school in 1780, became a licensed attorney in 1782, opened a private practice in Albany, the city where Hamilton once studied law, then later moved to New York City to practice law there for the next six years. 1789, Burr was appointed the Attorney General of New York. He was married to a widow named Theodosia Provost. Uh, Provost. Theodosia Provost!

And in 1783, Theodosia gave birth to a daughter of the same unfortunate name. She and Burr were happily married until she died in 1794 and then Burr's daughter sadly will die in a shipwreck 18 years later in 1812. Much to Burr's frustration, Hamilton seemed to continually outshine him due to his confidence, charisma, and energy. We will check back in with Burr very soon. The first bank of the United States I mentioned earlier proposed by Alexander Hamilton was chartered in 1791 and helped fuel the nation's early economic growth. It was a high point of Hamilton's career. The concept of implied powers, which allows the government to do things that are not explicitly

written in the Constitution, is what allowed the charter of this bank. First bank was granted a 20-year charter, based in Philadelphia, then had branches in eight cities. Critics were troubled that two-thirds of the bank stock was held by British interests. The bank was profitable but critics argued that it was too cautious and it was constraining economic development and the charter will not be renewed in 1811 but then a second bank in the US will be formed in 1816. And President Andrew Jackson, subject to Suck 106, pulled all funding from that bank in 1832 and

ceased operations when the charter expired in 1836. And now back to Burr. I said it was gonna be soon. Hamilton's political success was somewhat dampened by his feud with Aaron Burr. Hamilton was angered when Burr successfully ran against his father-in-law Philip Schuyler for Senate in 1791. Hamilton wrote in 1792, I fear Burr is unprincipled both as a public and private man. I feel it a religious duty to oppose his career. God wants me to stop this motherfucker. I love that he wrote my religious duty is to oppose his career. Clearly very ideologically opposed these two. Burr was known for defending the free press, the abolition of slavery. He advocated actually for a greater degree

of freedom of the press than Hamilton did and was more opposed to slavery than Hamilton was. Despite how the Broadway musical depicts Alexander, recent evidence has shown that he was not as opposed to slavery as previously thought. He did not fight to end slavery and in fact had slaves in his own household. Aaron Burr also owned slaves at one point in his life but as a New York Assemblyman in 1785, he publicly supported a bill to end slavery and was far more vocal than Hamilton when it came to abolitionist views. He fought harder to defend a free press than Hamilton. Burr defended the rights of Thomas Greenleaf, a newspaper editor whose

shop was ransacked by an angry mob, and John Burke, a printer and playwright who was locked up and threatened with deportation for criticizing George Washington in print. He also fought harder than Hamilton did for representation for average citizens and defended immigrant rights. He opened the first bank in New York that extended credit to the middle class instead of just the rich, and he fought for an electoral system that would give more power to each individual voting district and less to powerful families like Hamiltoniltons who were used to run in the state. He also praised British feminist Mary Wollstonecraft and introduced a New York State Assembly bill that would have

given women the right to vote. Yeah way before that happened. Burr was actually the only member of the Founding Fathers who openly and publicly believed wholeheartedly in the rights of women. Hail, Lusifena! He educated his daughter Theodosia better than most men of the time. By age 10, she could translate Latin and Greek. And Burr wrote, I hope yet by her to convince the world what neither sex appears to believe,

that women have souls. Jesus Christ, that's fucking so sad. That was just a common belief. While Hamilton viewed Burr as an opportunist who would change his beliefs and allegiances to whatever advanced his career, a lot of historians think that while not as instrumental in helping form the system of government we have today, Burr was actually a better man in many ways than Alexander Hamilton.

Funny, right? Maybe Lin-Manuel Miranda, or Miranda, excuse me, Lin-Manuel Miranda, lionized the wrong founding father when he wrote the musical Hamilton. Anyway, after six years in the Senate, Burr would lose his re-election to Schuyler. He was bitter, blamed Hamilton for ruining his reputation, turning the tide of public sentiment against him. In 1793, Congress was further divided between delegates who wanted to remain neutral and those who now wanted the U.S. to support France in their war against Britain. The French Revolutionary Wars were hostilities between France and other European powers that

lasted from 1792 to 1799. Some sources count skirmishes that would extend until 1802, during the height of the French Revolution. Hamilton thought the Revolutionary Wars would be an opportune time to end the alliance with France, but Secretary of State Thomas Jefferson did not. Washington sided with Hamilton, and in April of 1793, he issued a proclamation of neutrality. A lot going on back then. The U.S. was just barely getting started as a nation born out of war, and more war was

continually raging all around them. There were calls for war against Britain by many Americans because the British had seized some U.S. trading ships in the French West Indies. But Hamilton thought war would be a national suicide because his new financial policies relied greatly on trade with Britain. Hamilton persuaded Washington to send Supreme Court Chief Justice John Jay to London to negotiate a treaty. Hamilton wrote instructions for him, manipulated the negotiations, and supported the treaty

when Jay returned with it in 1795. This foreign affairs issue strengthened the division of the first two political parties, the Federalists and the Democratic Republicans. The Federalists supported a strong national government and emphasized commercial and diplomatic harmony with Britain. Most Federalists lived in the commercial northeast, but there were also Federalists in Virginia, North Carolina and Charleston, South Carolina. The majority of plantation owners and farmers in the south and the West were not Federalists. The Democratic Republican Party founded in 1792, actually the oldest active party in the U.S. They would evolve into the modern Democratic Party of today.

And Democratic Republicans, not a confusing name at all now, favored a decentralized, limited government. The modern Republican Party would not emerge until 1854 to combat the expansion of slavery into Western territories after the passing of the Kansas-Nebraska Act. The Federalist Party will completely dissolve by 1824. Back to the late 18th century, Washington signed the J-Tree August 18, 1795, a controversial move. The treaty meant to diffuse tensions between England and the U.S.

U.S. government objected to English military posts along America's northern and western borders. As mentioned, Britain violated American neutrality in 1794 when the Royal Navy seized American ships in the West Indies. The treaty was written and negotiated by Justice John Jay, signed by King George III November 19, 1794. When Jay returned with news of the signing, he encountered fierce opposition in Congress led by Democratic Republicans Thomas Jefferson and James Madison. They thought the treaty gave too many concessions to England and weakened American trade rights. Washington didn't love the treaty but his priority was preventing another war. During the opposition Congress approved the treaty August 14th 1795.

Okay back it up a bit. Hamilton left Washington's cabinet January 31, 1795 amid some criticisms. Also positioned didn't pay enough. According to the Department of the Treasury website, Hamilton's position paid $3,500 a year, which is about $75,000 today. And because of that, he decided to join the New York bar. He still maintained close contact with Washington who consulted him on policy matters. September 19, 1796 Hamilton drafted the majority of Washington's farewell address, which was published in the Daily American Advertiser, a Philadelphia paper. Washington's speech emphasized the importance of unity.

He said, You have in a common cause fought and triumphed together. He said, You have in a common cause fought and triumphed together. The independence and liberty you possess are the work of joint councils, and joint efforts of common dangers, sufferings, and successes. Your union ought to be considered as a main prop of your liberty, and the love of one ought to endear you to the preservation of the other. Unity, the man stressed unity.

Something too many politicians certainly do not stress today. Washington also discussed the dangers of party loyalty, which he believed would foster a spirit of revenge, and allow, quote, cunning, ambitious, and unprincipled men who would usurp them for themselves the reins of government, destroying afterward the very engines which have lifted them to unjust dominion. Man, that ring's true today. Man, we see the spirit of revenge in today's politics so often. We have a political landscape full of cunning, ambitious, and definitely unprincipled men.

And I don't think they're all bad, by the way. I think some are very, very good. No believing. But God, we got some devils in politics today. Today like every other era of history I guess. Washington with Hamilton writing for him also warned against getting involved in other nations affairs saying steer clear of permanent alliances with any portion of the foreign world. We certainly have not followed that advice.

Our resources, our money spread all over the world. Not that he necessarily ever wanted to run for president, Hamilton's chances of becoming president were ruined by the publication of the Reynolds pamphlet published on August 25, 1797. In this 95-page pamphlet titled, Observations on Certain Documents, Hamilton went public about his affair with a woman named Mariah Reynolds. He did it to clear his name after he was accused of some illegal financial speculation. This was the first major sex scandal in American political history. This tell-all pamphlet contained details of the affair and described how Hamilton made

blackmail payments to Mariah Reynolds' husband to cover it up. According to Hamilton, in his words, Sometime in the summer of the year of 1791, a woman called at my house in the city of Philadelphia and asked to speak with me in private. in the summer of the year of 1791. A woman called at my house in the city of Philadelphia and asked to speak with me in private. I attended her into a room apart from the family. With a seeming air of affliction, she informed that she was a daughter of Mr. Lewis,

sister to a Mr. G. Livingston of the state of New York, and wife to a Mr. Reynolds, whose father was in the commissary department during the war with Great Britain, and her husband, who for a long time had treated her very cruelly, had lately left her, to live with another woman, and in so destitute a condition, that though desirous of returning to her friends, she had not the means, that knowing I was a citizen of New York, she had taken the liberty to apply to my humanity for assistance. As she continued to speak, I felt something, a powerful stirring in my loins, which I admit

now with great shame, but is the truth. You see, I am and always have been a tiddy man, and never before have I laid eyes upon titties in the shape and magnitude of Mariah Reynolds' titties. I imagine myself standing as she spoke, crossing the room and releasing them from her dress. I imagine myself grabbing them, squeezing them, gently pinching their nipples and tugging on them. Pushing them together with enough pressure to barely allow my swollen memory to pass between them like Moses parting the Red Sea with his staff. If the Red Sea was Maria Reynolds' titties, you see, then Moses' staff was my erect silent flute. And then when I ejaculated, I realized, dear reader, that I was not imagining anything at all.

Heavens no! My fantasy was real, and a lustful affair had indeed begun. JK. Only the first paragraph of that was what Hamilton wrote. According to Hamilton, for real now, Mariah Reynolds came to his family home in Philadelphia in the summer of 1791, asked to speak to him in private. She was a pretty 23-year-old at the time, he was 36, and she told Hamilton that her husband James was abusive and left her and their young daughter to go be with another woman.

Mariah also did ask him for money to help her travel to see friends in New York. Go stay with him. Hamilton was at the height of his power, was probably the second most powerful man in the US. Biographer Ron Chernow wrote that this should have made him especially watchful of his reputation, but he had this pesky little thing called a hard dick, and he loved pussy, and he would be far from the first man to follow his dick into some terrible decisions. Hamilton took a 30-note bill to Mariah's roaming house one day, and she took him upstairs, and according to Hamilton, it was quickly apparent that other than pecuniary consolation would be acceptable.

Very fancy way of saying he realized they might soon be fucking. Hamilton and Mariah started a sexual relationship that night and then would meet at his home after Eliza took the kids to visit her father in Albany. Oh boy. And then James Reynolds found out about this affair, confronted Hamilton via letter demanded $1,000, somewhere around $25,000 today, in exchange for his silence, and Hamilton paid. By January of 1792, he'd paid two installments. Reynolds then remained in Philadelphia, even though he'd promised to leave the city.

And surprisingly, he actually encouraged Hamilton to resume the affair. But Hamilton would stop seeing Mariah in the summer of 1792. Then in November of that year, Reynolds and his associate, Jacob Clingman, get arrested for their involvement in a scheme to defraud the government by opposing its executors of deceased Revolutionary War veterans trying to get back pay. While out on bail, Clingman approaches Pennsylvania Congressman Frederick Mullenberg, his former employee, claims Reynolds also was involved in illegal legal speculation with one Alexander Hamilton. How juicy!

Mullenberg visits Reynolds in jail, speaks to Mariah Reynolds at her home, and then confronts Hamilton. And now to help prove that he was not involved in any financial crimes, Hamilton comes clean about the affair and shares letters from both James and Mariah. Mullenberg, future president James Monroe and politician Abraham Venable leave this meeting with Hamilton believing he was innocent of all charges, promised not to say anything about the affair. But then Monroe sends copies of the documents Hamilton showed them to Thomas Jefferson, and John Beckley, a clerk for the House of Representatives, also keeps a copy.

His secret is out, or rather it will be. As the years pass, Hamilton continues his political career with great success. Mariah and James Reynolds split up, and then, would you know it, her divorce attorney is Hamilton's nemesis, Aaron Burr. How fucking happy was he to hear about this affair? Oh, I bet he drank to that big time. But to his credit, he did not start smearing Hamilton's name. He could have, but he didn't.

If the situation were reversed, I think Hamilton would for sure smear Burr's name over this. Mariah marries her husband's associate, Jacob Clingman, the day before her divorce becomes final. And in the fall of 1796, Hamilton writes a series of essays using the name Fossitian. In these essays, he talks shit about Thomas Jefferson and alleges Jefferson once had a sexual relationship with an enslaved woman named Sally Hemings. Oh dude, you were not in a place to point fingers. Journalist James Callender now, who loved a good scandal, couldn't believe Hamilton would point the finger at Jefferson when he also

had had an affair and he wrote in the summer of 1797 that Hamilton had an affair and used federal funds to illegally speculate in government securities with one James Reynolds. It was most likely John Buckley, the clerk who kept a copy of Hamilton's documents, who gave the papers to Callender after Federalists fired him as House Clerk. Hamilton blamed James Monroe though, and they almost got into a duel over it. They were talked out of their duel by, how fucking random is this, Aaron Burr. Hamilton now decided that the best thing to do was to reveal everything right come completely clean publicly about his affair so he could

deny the speculation charges. This was of course humiliating for his wife and kids and it hurt his political career greatly. The scandal meant had he ever wanted a presidential run it was not likely in the cards for him now. The following are some excerpts from the real Reynolds pamphlet published in late January, or excuse me, published in late August 1797. Lies often detected and refuted are still revived and repeated in the hope that the refutation may have been forgotten or that the frequency and boldness of accusation may supply the place of truth and proof. The most prolificate men are encouraged, probably bribed, certainly with patronage if not with

money, to become informers and accusers. And when tales, which their characters alone ought to discredit, are refuted by evidence and facts which oblige the patrons of them to abandon their support, they still continue in corroding whispers to wear away the reputations which they could not directly subvert. If luckily for the conspirators against honest fame, any little foible or folly can be traced out in one whom they desire to persecute. It becomes at once in their hands a two-edged sword by which to wound the public character

and stab the private felicity of the person. With such men nothing is sacred. Even the peace of an unoffending and amiable wife is a welcome repast to their insatiate fury against the husband. I dare appeal to my immediate fellow citizens of whatever political party for the truth of the assertion that no man ever carried into public life

a more unblemished pecuniary reputation than that which I undertook the office of Secretary of the Treasury, a character marked by an indifference to the acquisition of property rather than a novidity for it. With such a character, however natural it was to expect criticism and opposition, as to the political principles which I might manifest or be supposed to entertain, as to the wisdom or expediency of the plans which I might purpose-propose, or as to the skill, care, or diligence with which the business of my department might be executed, it was not natural to expect, nor did I expect that my fidelity or integrity in a pecuniary sense would ever be called in question.

But on his head a mortifying disappointment has been experienced. Without the slightest foundation, I have been repeatedly held up to the suspicions of the world of a man... of the world as a man directed in his administration by the most sordid views who did not scruple to sacrifice the public to his private interest, his duty and honor to the sinister accumulation of wealth. Let's get our fucking wordy back then. The charge against me is a connection with one James Reynolds for purposes of improper pecuniary speculation.

My real crime is an amorous connection with his wife. For a considerable time, with his privity and connivance, if not originally brought on by a combination between the husband and wife, with the desire to extort money from me. This confession is not made without a blush. I cannot be the apologist of any vice, because the order of passion may have made it mine. I can never cease to condemn myself for the pang, which it may inflict in a bosom eminently entitled to all my gratitude, fidelity, and love. But that bosom will

approve that even at so great an expense I should effectually wipe away a more serious stain from a name which it terrishes with no less elevation than tenderness. The public too will I trust excuse the confession, the necessity of it to my defense against a more heinous charge could alone have extorted from me so painful and indecorum." Uh, he maybe just could have said something like, uh, yeah, I fucked her, but you know, I didn't take any money. God damn it. These fucking weasels are trying to frame me for some shit I didn't do, but I'll admit to the shit I did do. Maybe some version of that would have been a little better than those 12 or 13 fucking thousand word sentences. Despite the public embarrassment,

Hamilton would still serve his country. In 1798, Hamilton was appointed Inspector General, second command of the armed forces during the Quasi-War, an undeclared naval war with France. This was actually the first time in U.S US history that America's neutrality was threatened. During the Washington administration, France sent an emissary called Citizen Genet to the US. This violated Washington's neutrality agreement. Instead of meeting with the President in Philadelphia, Genet landed in South Carolina and recruited privateers, made his way to the Capitol.

The US refused to support France, signed the Jay Treaty. This angered the French and then they harassed American vessels. President John Adams sent ambassadors to France. The French government sent officials listed as XY and Z in documents to meet Americans. The French now demanded a $250,000 bribe, a $10 million loan, and an apology from the Americans before talks could even begin. This angered President Adams and he asked Congress to back defense measures. Congress asked Adams to publish his correspondence from American diplomats and when he did Congress was angered by what they thought was a French insult. Over the next two years France captured and harassed American vessels, tried to

hinder US trade with Britain. The US focused on building up the military in preparation for a war now, even bringing Washington out of retirement to appoint him as commander in chief. The whole ordeal was controversial because of the issue of American neutrality. Thankfully, there was never a massive war, although there were several ship-on-ship battles and the tensions ended when Napoleon gained control of France in 1800. And that now marked an end to Hamilton's military career. And then Washington will die of a throat infection in the middle of the quasi war on December 14th

1799 at the age of 67 as rumored he got it from sucking Hamilton's dick. That's not true No Hamilton wrote to Washington's secretary after his death I have been much indebted to the kindness of the general and he was an aegis very essential to me An aegis is a Greek word for shield. Another reason the quasi-war was a major event in US history was the Federalist Party split over negotiations with France. John Adams was Washington's vice president and his successor. He was a Federalist and was the first US president who was officially aligned with a political party. The Federalist nominated John Adams for president and Thomas Pinckney for VP. Hamilton now tried to manipulate the electoral college so Pinkney would

be president but Adams won which led to the party losing trust in Hamilton. Adams retained Washington's cabinet. The members consulted Hamilton, gave him confidential information which meant he was able to exert influence over Adams. In 1798 the Federalists gained control of both houses of Congress. Madison then backed the Alien and Sedition Acts, a highly controversial move. There was widespread public outrage and Madison was attacked, especially by Hamilton and his supporters. The Alien and Sedition Acts were four laws passed by Congress in 1798 when Americans feared a war with France and the laws restricted the activities of foreign

residents. They limited free press and free speech, especially speech that criticized the government. There were fears that French spies had infiltrated American society. The Naturalization Act required residents to live in the US for up to 14 years to become citizens. The Alien Enemies Act allowed the government to arrest and deport all male citizens of an enemy nation during war. The Alien Friends Act also allowed the president to deport any non-citizens suspected of plotting against the government. Damn, man, just a few short decades. After becoming a nation

composed of immigrants, we already have some very loud anti-immigration voices. The Sedition Act outlawed false scandalous and malicious writing against the government or the president, and it was pretty subjective. Excuse me. The Adams administration also passed a land tax to pay for the potential war, which wasn't well received. Federalists accused the Democratic Republicans of being in league with France. In June of 1798, Hamilton wrote in the Gazette of the United States that Jeffersonians were more Frenchmen than Americans and claimed they were going to emulate the independence and welfare of their country at the Shrine of France. Once Adams opened diplomatic negotiations

with France in 1799 and reorganized his cabinet, Hamilton and his supporters cut their ties. Adams wanted to rid his cabinet of anyone he thought was one of Hamilton's spies. They really don't like each other. The Federalists were split during the election of 1800. The party lost the election to the United Democratic Republicans. The final candidates were split during the election of 1800. The party lost the election to the United Democratic Republicans the final candidates were John Adams for the Federalists Thomas Jefferson for the Democratic Republicans and Hamilton got some revenge against Adams by trying to prevent his re-election in October of 1800 Hamilton privately circulated the public conduct and character of John Adams Esquire President of the United States pamphlet

Adams Esquire President of the United States pamphlet. Aaron Burr, the little hatchet job there, Aaron Burr the Democratic Republican candidate for VP had a copy published which forced Hamilton then to acknowledge his authorship and now Hamilton started a letter writing campaign against Burr from December to late January of 1801. Dude loved to talk shit about people and letters. Equivalent to tweets today I guess right or I guess on X they're called posts now. I hated Twitter and I don't like X any better but I know politicians love to talk shit there as do letters. Equivalent to tweets today, I guess, right? Or I guess on X they're called posts now. I hated Twitter. I don't like X any better. But I know politicians love to talk shit there, as do their supporters and antagonists. Hamilton in one letter wrote to politician Oliver Walcott Jr. on December 16th, there is no doubt but that upon every virtuous and prudent calculation, Jefferson is to be preferred. He is by far not so dangerous a man and he has

pretensions to character. Thomas Jefferson and Aaron Burr both won the election because they won the same number of electoral votes and that meant that the House of Representatives had to now choose the president back when vice presidents were picked very differently than they are now. The original system, I forgot this, the original system for electing presidents provided that the candidate receiving a majority of electoral college votes Would become president and then the runner-up would be the vice president So the people running against each other were joined. Isn't that crazy?

When you think about like that modern terms, I mean with that system in what in 2016 Hillary Clinton would have been Donald Trump's vice president and in 2020 Trump would have then been Biden's vice president. It's fucking crazy. What a compelling reality show. Either one of those terms would have been. Yeah, that old system was changed in 1804 with the 12th amendment. Also, I didn't know that Burr came that close to being America's third president. So back to this electoral tie, the federalists wanted Aaron Burr to win but persuaded key players to select Jefferson. At the time each state's delegation had to vote as one block. The deciding vote went to Delaware Federalist James A. Baird, the representative of his state. The first time, the first ballot he voted for Burr. Burr won six states, Jefferson won eight,

but Vermont and Maryland were split evenly. With no clear winner, the nation was in chaos. Militia on both sides started performing drills to prepare for a potential civil war. Hamilton wrote to James Baird on January 16th telling him that Burr was, quote, a man of extreme and irregular ambition. And then Baird seems to change his mind about Burr, suggests that he might vote for Jefferson to prevent a national crisis. Baird then met with two of Jefferson's friends because he wanted to confirm if Jefferson was

elected he'd leave certain federalist policies and office holders in place. Baird then submitted a blank ballot during the 36th round of voting. This kept going around and around trying to figure this out. February 17th, 1801 federalists in Vermont, Maryland allowed the states to vote for Jefferson which then secured his victory. So Hamilton went out of his way to fuck Burr out of the presidency because if Baird would have just kept his vote for Burr, Burr likely would have been president, not Jefferson. Following this election, Hamilton becomes less involved in politics. He's made a lot of enemies with his meddling and he's staying busy with other forms of work. In 1801, Hamilton builds a country house called the Grange in Manhattan, a beautiful

estate located at West 143rd Street, just east of Amsterdam Avenue in Harlem. So funny to think about a country house existing in Manhattan today. Nothing about Manhattan screams a country. The Grange, which is currently a national memorial, was modeled after his father's home in Scotland, has views of the Hudson and Harlem and East Rivers. That same year he helped found a federalist paper called the New York Evening Post. That paper morphed into today's New York Post. Yep, Alexander Hamilton, founder of the New York Post, which is pretty cool. Also that year, Alexander's first son Philip dies a violent death. November 24th, 1801, after participating in a duel to defend his father's honor against New York lawyer George Eaker.

How bad would that suck to have your son get killed defending your honor? Did he ever fully heal from a wound like that? Like a tragedy like that? I doubt it. Eaker had given a speech accusing Hamilton of being a monarchist during the Fourth of July celebration. Philip Hamilton saw his speech when it was published and is furious. And he then spots Eaker at a theater in Manhattan November 20th, 1801. He and a friend, Stephen Price, barge into Eaker's theater box, taunt him about that speech.

Eaker tries at first to ignore them, but they won't stop. And then he asks them to, you know, if you're gonna keep talking, let's go step into the lobby and discuss this. And according to author Ron Chernow, Eaker said, It is too abominable to be publicly insulted by a set of rascals. Philip and Stephen are shocked and they respond who'd you call down rascals? Rascal was a huge fighting word back then and it often preceded a fucking duel. Like you could for sure get killed just for calling some dude a rascal like that would happen. People did

get killed for calling another guy rascal. Hard to imagine today. You can call some dude's wife a cunt and probably not even get punched. We are not nearly as scrappy as we used to be. Not even close. Back to 1801 now, a fight almost breaks out when Eaker grabs Philip by the collar. Then the men, you know, they're told to take their dispute outside. They go to a nearby tavern. Eaker once again calls these guys rascals. And as he returns to the theater, he says, I expect to hear from you. Philip and Stephen said simultaneously, You shall.

By the time Eaker left the theater, Stephen had challenged him to a duel. Philip decided to wait until he could speak to a family authority on dueling about this duel. He was advised that Eaker's insults did indeed demand a response. You can't command respect if you just allow other men to call you a rascal. But since Philip committed the first offense, he was advised to try to resolve things peacefully. On Sunday, November 22nd, Eaker and Stephen Price duel in New Jersey. They exchange four shots with no injury and the matter between those two guys is considered closed. But there's still the beef between Iker and Philip Hamilton.

There were now efforts to negotiate a truce between Philip and Iker, but Iker would not retract the key word of rascal. Even if Philip apologized. He was 100% certain that Philip Hamilton is indeed a rascal! He is a rascal to his very core! His bones are rascally! His loins are full of rascally sinews and tendons and whatnot. So now these fuckers agree to another duel at 3 p.m. the next day. Say what you will about George Eaker, which is probably nothing.

You've probably never heard of him. But he never backed down from a duel. Two in two days here. Alexander Hamilton was aware of this duel. You know, he was in a tough spot because he disagreed with dueling. He was worried about his son, but he also respected this code of honor that man of the day lived by. He knew his son was at fault in this situation.

He now advises Philip to throw away his shot so that if his opponent fires and kills him, it will be murder. That seems on the surface like pretty dumb advice. Are you really going to care if your opponent is charged with murder? Hang for murder if you're dead? No. Philip followed his father's advice, did not raise his pistol. Eaker does the same and then the two men stare at each other for I guess around a minute until Eaker lifts his pistol. Philip now goes to lift his gun but before he can fire

Eaker shoots him above the right hip. The bullet goes through his body, bounces off his bone, lodges in his left arm. Philip fires before slumping to the ground but he misses. Philip is then rushed away to see a doctor and it is too late to save him. According to one Dr. David Hussick, Hamilton, quote, was so much overcome by his anxiety that he fainted and remained some time in my family before he was sufficiently recovered to proceed. When Hamilton actually saw his son, he turned to the doctor and said, Doctor, I despair. Alexander and Eliza held Philip throughout the night and then he died around 5 a.m. November 24th in their arms. What a fucking nightmare.

Philip's death devastating to Alexander and Eliza. One friend wrote, never did I see a man so completely overwhelmed with grief as Hamilton. Historians believe his son's death influenced Hamilton's later reluctance to fire at Aaron Burr. Three years later, 1804, another presidential election is on the horizon. Thomas Jefferson and Aaron Burr did not make a successful president-vice-president pairing. Jefferson often left Burr out of important discussions and when he ran for reelection in 1804 he removed Burr from his ticket. Burr ran independently for New York governorship that year and then lost.

Some federalists were now talking about secession and in 1804 they negotiated with Burr for his support. Most federalists except Hamilton had favored Burr's candidacy for New York governor. By the way, when he picked earlier, I should probably mention this, when Thomson chooses to leave Burr off of the ticket, that's because they did change things. By 1804, now it's like a president runs with the vice president. Okay, Hamilton pushed for the election of his opponent, Burr his opponent, and then that man wins by a close margin for the governorship of New York. And once again, Hamilton has fucked Burr out of winning an election.

And then in April of 1804, a letter written by Charles Cooper is published in the Albany Register, which references a conversation between Alexander Hamilton and some other dinner guests where Hamilton said that Burr was, quote, a dangerous man and not to be trusted. He stopped just short of calling him a rascal. Some sources say Hamilton did call Burr the most unfit and dangerous man in the community. The letter also referenced an even, quote, more despicable statement made by Hamilton about Burr. Maybe he did call him a rascal. Well Burr received the paper after losing the New York State Governor's race when

he's already pissed. And on June 18th Burr writes to Hamilton requesting acknowledgement or denial of the use of any expressions which could warrant the assertions of Dr. Cooper. Oh shit! Did you or did you not call me a dirty rascal, sir? The letter was delivered by William Van Ness who will be birthed second in the duel with Hamilton. Hamilton responded on June 20th replied that he could not avow or disavow any statement that was said and refused to describe what his quote more despicable opinion was. He claimed he could not recall. I did not have sex with that woman kind of thing here. He also wrote that he was ready to abide by the consequences, a dead giveaway that he was

ready for a duel. Oh fuck yeah. Uh-huh, duel's coming. Mm-hmm, Burr's got big testicles. With his dude. But he called me a rascal! Burr and Hamilton exchange three more letters. Burr continues demanding an apology. Hamilton continues to refuse to give him one. Then on June 22nd 1804, such a silly way to fucking die, June 22nd 1804, Burr writes a letter that ends with, Thus, sir, you have invited the course I am to pursue, and now your silence imposed it upon me.

It's fucking on like Donkey Kong, motherfucker. In this letter, their chosen seconds made arrangements for a duel. Or after that letter. The formal request delivered on June 27th. A lot of steps to this. According to the National Park Service, in the 18th and 19th centuries, the concept of personal honor was central to the worthiness of a man in affairs of politics. One's honor was critical to preserving their reputation and therefore suitability for interpersonal

affairs and public office. If one had a perceived lack of honor, it diminished their viability for leadership. Duels were considered the extreme endpoint of honor culture and a way to preserve a man's honor. Duels were not merely emotion-fueled brawls, but rather a formal process through which decorum, bravery, and willingness to stand up for one's beliefs and actions were displayed. Affairs of honor could start with an insult against one person, usually about their politics or character. If the insult was bad enough, that person would be forced to defend their honor.

First, the person who was offended would send a letter requesting an explanation, in a vowel or disavowal and a prompt response. There were chances for the other party to concede. One could concede before shots were fired in a duel. If this happened, the affair ended and at least one person's honor was restored. And when it did reach the point of shooting, most duels were not deadly. This duel was scheduled for July 11th because the New York Supreme Court was holding its final session in Manhattan and Hamilton wanted to finish up his client's pending lawsuits.

He also needed to sort out his personal affairs in case he got shot and killed. God, can you imagine how Eliza felt about all this? She already lost her son to a duel, and now her 49-year-old husband, sole family breadwinner, ready to throw down. Only a few people knew about the duel before it happened and Hamilton and Byrd did not tell their extended families. Hamilton apparently didn't want a duel but felt obligated to defend his honor. Hamilton decided he would throw away his shot as he had once advised his son Philip.

Hamilton wrote, It would even give me pain to be obliged to shed the blood of a fellow creature. Some have speculated that Hamilton was depressed and suicidal and that rather than killing Burr, he would have Burr kill him. Then I know that given the choice I would way rather shoot some dude dead who was pissed at me than have him shoot at me. I'm not hankering for a duel, not at all, but if I have to be in a duel, God please let me shoot first. Let my nerves allow my aim to be true. In preparation for the duel, Hamilton made financial plans listed out his debts, wrote a letter to Eliza July 4th where he expressed unwillingness to go through with Killingburr. The letter read, this must increase my hazards and redoubles my payings for you.

But you had rather I should die innocent than live guilty. Heaven can preserve me and I humbly hope will. But in the contrary event, I charge you to remember that you are a Christian. I doubt she was real thrilled to read all that. I would love it if she wrote back some version of it. Stop being such a baby and fucking fight, Alexander! Shoot that son of a bitch right between the eyes. Towards the end, Hamilton wrote, fly to the bosom of your God and be comforted. With my last idea, I shall cherish the sweet hope of meeting you in a better world. Adieu, best of wives and best of women. Embrace all my darting children for me." Man, he really was willing to die.

Hamilton said he had no personal ill will towards Burr and he realized he would gain nothing but would hazard much from this duel. He explained that he could not apologize though because that would mean, excuse me, because he meant what he said when he said it So that's it does have integrity He knew he had to go through with this duel to preserve his reputation And he wrote the ability to be in future useful whether in resisting mischief or affecting good in those crises Crises ease of public affairs which seemed likely to happen would probably be inseparable from a conformity with public prejudice in this particular.

So no one's gonna fucking trust me if I don't do this. Hamilton left Eliza at the Grange on July 9th, rode to lower Manhattan to draft his last will. Plans were finalized that afternoon. He was apparently calm, even happy during his final days. One of the things he did was visit Robert Troupe, an old buddy from King's College, who was ill at the time. On the night of the 10th, Hamilton's second Nathaniel, or excuse me, his second, Nathaniel Pendleton, tried to convince him not to throw away his shot and Hamilton said, my friend, it is the effect of a religious scruple and does not admit of reasoning. It is useless to say more on the subject as my purpose is

definitely fixed. So he was gonna make this deal, duel, real easy for Aaron Burr. The duel occurred at dawn July 11th 1804 in Weehawken, New Jersey, the same place Philip died almost three years earlier, just right across the Hudson there from New York. Early that morning Hamilton traveled across the Hudson to Weehawken. They chose to go across state lines because while dueling was illegal in New Jersey, officials less likely to prosecute there than they would be in New York. All the people who were present, except of course for Burr and Hamilton, turned their backs during the duel to maintain deniability about their involvement,

and then they later disagreed over who fired first and when. William Van Ness accompanied Burr, Nathaniel Pendleton accompanied Hamilton. They were responsible for representing the principal to the other party and acting as field assistants. Dr. David Hostick was on the scene again as a doctor. Before the duel, Hamilton wrote, I resolve to reserve and throw away my first fire, and I have thoughts even of reserving my second fire. Hamilton confirmed his written intentions moments before the duel, according to Nathaniel

Pendleton. According to History.com, the events of the duel itself are not clearly remembered in history. Who shot first is a mystery and various accounts report different versions of the story. But what is consistent in the record is that there were two shots heard within seconds of each other. Hamilton seconds that he fired into the air, which was backed up by evidence of his shot hitting a tree. Burr shot Hamilton in the stomach. According to author Ron Chernow, Hamilton lifted his pistol as in a tree. Burr shot Hamilton in the stomach. According to author Ron Chernow, Hamilton lifted his pistol as did Burr. Both guns were

discharged with explosive flashes, separated by a split second or perhaps several seconds. Pendleton was adamant that Burr had fired first and that Hamilton's shot was merely the effect of an involuntary exertion of the muscles produced by a mortal wound, a terrible blow in the abdominal area above his right hip. Pendleton wrote, Hamilton rose up on his toes writhing violently and twisting slightly to the left before toppling headlong to the ground. Hamilton seemed to know that his wound was mortal and proclaimed instantly, I am a dead man. Burr started to go to Hamilton, but his second told him he would be placed at the crime scene in front of too many witnesses.

They withdrew, Van Ness shielding Burr's face with an umbrella. Burr still wanted to go to Hamilton, so Van Ness ran to see him and reported back. Van Ness would maintain, That General, uh, that, General Hamilton fired first. I am as well persuaded as I ever was of any fact that came under my observation. Guessing he's just trying to keep Burr from being charged with murder. Pendleton returned to the scene the next day, found Hamilton's bullet,

hit the limb of a cedar tree 12 feet off the ground, four feet away from where Burr was standing. Burr's bullet hit Hamilton on the right side of his abdomen, lodged in his spine. An account from Dr. David Hasek stated that Hamilton was in penaltons arms when Hasek arrived Dr. Hasek recalled his comments of death. I shall never forget He had at that instant just strength to say this is a mortal wound doctor when he sunk away and became to all appearance lifeless Hamilton was rushed to the home of William Bayer jr. In Greenwich Village Eliza and the kids were eight miles north of the Grange and arrived in time to be able to say goodbye to Alexander.

And then Alexander Hamilton died around 2 p.m., July 12th, 1804. He was very likely 49 years old, although most sources will say 47. He passed gently, quietly, almost noiselessly. In his dying moments, he said he had no malice towards Aaron Burr and that he was dying in peace because he was reconciled with God. His body was buried at Trinity Church in Manhattan, and you can still visit his historic gravesite today at the Trinity Church Yard Cemetery. Aaron Burr faced public outrage in the aftermath of Hamilton's death. He was charged with murder and then fled south. Those charges were later dropped and Burr returned to Washington to finish his term as Vice President.

This would not be the last scandal of Burr's lifetime. Three years later in 1807, Burr was charged with treason for allegedly conspiring to plan the secession of several western states. Burr's trial took place in Richmond in the summer of 1807 when he was 51. He was accused of leading a deep dark and wicked conspiracy against the U.S. The details about the conspiracy plot are unclear. We know that Burr raised a small army on the frontier, may have hoped to lead a campaign against Spanish territories in Texas and Mexico. Very possible he planned to seize the land for the US, or he wanted to found an entirely new nation and install himself as leader.

Whichever the case, he would be acquitted of treason charges in October of 1807. After the trial, he became a villainous figure in the US. He spent the next four years traveling around Europe, trying to get support for revolutionizing Mexico and freeing Spanish colonies. He returned to the US in 1812, broke, focusing on rebuilding his law practice. And then by 1830, he was dependent on his friends for financial support. In 1833, he married a wealthy widow, Eliza Jumel, but then they divorced. He then suffered multiple strokes, was left paralyzed, and died under his cousin's care. September 14, 1836, on Staten Island, at the age of 80.

Now let's talk about Hamilton's widow Eliza real quick before getting out of this timeline. She would make it her mission to preserve her husband's legacy after his death in 1804. Initially, she and her children were at risk of losing everything after Hamilton died. He was $55,000 in debt due to mortgages, bonds, and personal notes, plus outstanding balances on his legal clients. Most of the debt came from building the Grange. The estate was expensive to maintain, and it would have been impossible for Eliza to keep paying the mortgage. Luckily, Hamilton still had many admirers. How cool is this? Hamilton's friends came together and purchased the Grange for $30,500,

then sold it to Eliza for 15,000 so she could live there as long as she chose to. And that is beautiful. However, Eliza was still unable to afford the expensive upkeep and in 1813, she will sell the mansion and move to downtown Manhattan. At this time, the area was isolated, had no free public schools. Eliza wanted to honor her husband's memory. She believed that all

children should know how to read so they could study the Bible. Others helped him as a child receiving education, so she wanted to pay that forward. So she established the Hamilton Free School in northern Manhattan, which offered education to students whose families could not pay for private school. She found a small house near Fort Washington located at the intersection of modern-day Fort Washington Avenue and West 183rd Street, which she repurposed as a schoolhouse. And soon her new school was packed with students. The student body grew and grew and eventually the students needed a new building. Eliza couldn't afford a new facility, but a group of wealthy women helped her out. In March of 1818, the group petitioned the state legislature to incorporate a free school

and asked for $400 for a new building. Their application was approved and the school received annual city funding. By the end of May they had a one-room 1,050 square foot school house that could hold 40 to 60 students located at Broadway between West 187th and West 189th streets. The school could only afford to pay one teacher, but it also provided textbooks and slates for the students. Eliza not involved in the day-to-day affairs, but she did regularly visit the school and would hand out awards to the students. She focused most of her time on the orphanage in Lower Manhattan. Eliza founded the Orphan Asylum Society, which was the first private orphanage in New York City. The facility housed hundreds of children.

Eliza wanted to help orphans because Hamilton was an orphan who received an education, right, thanks to the generosity of benefactors. The seeds of the big successful orphanage had been planted years earlier, back in 1806. Isabella Graham and Sarah Hoffman, who were also widows, social activists, and friends of Eliza, approached her for help. Hoffman found five children crying over their mother's body in a tenement. They realized the need for an orphanage in the city. Eliza and her friends rented a small house on Raisin Street in Greenwich Village, hired a married couple to take care of the

kids. In March they founded the Orphan Asylum Society, recruited more women to help. They took in 20 kids the first year but had to turn away nine times as many. They set a goal to raise $25,000 to build a bigger facility on a donated parcel of land on Bank Street in Greenwich Village. Eliza went out to ask for donations and the founders received 10 grand from state legislators. The cornerstone for the orphanage was laid in July of 1807. Another accomplishment she achieved was raising money for the Washington Monument, which still stands in the National Mall in Washington, DC.

Eliza retired in 1848, passed away in Washington, DC November 9th, 1854. She was 97. She outlived her husband by five decades. Holy shit. Eliza stayed in love with her husband till the very end of her days. She continually kept a bust of him on display Showed it off to visitors She often talked about how she longed to be reunited with her Hamilton when she passed and reading that did not definitely did not Fuck with my allergies at all When I first read it cuz I'm a man and I have total control of my emotions

I only sometimes cry to make other people feel better not because I actually need to do the feeling weakness of some sort. Long before she passed, Eliza had made it her mission to save her husband's name from slander. She and roughly 30 assistants sifted through all his papers for years so they could publish a biography of his life. But she destroyed her own letters. I guess they were too personal. Eliza's fourth son, John Church Hamilton, took on the project and continued with it after his mother's death. The biography would be published in 1840. Initially 1841, however, near all copies were destroyed in a fire while in the process of binding.

During the next decade, John edited his father's collected writings under the authority of the Joint Library Committee of the U.S. Congress. The seven-volume authorized edition, The Works of Alexander Hamilton, containing his correspondence and his political and official writings exclusive of the Federalist, Civil, and Military, published by Order of Congress in 1850 and 1851. John also wrote a biography in seven volumes, published between 1857 and 1864, titled

Life of Alexander Hamilton, a History of the Republic of the United States of America. At the time of Eliza's death, the Hamilton Free School was in disrepair, was unfit for use according to the New York Herald, but it still had 60 to 70 students. School unfortunately destroyed in a fire in 1857. Fortunately more public schools were built nearby and then the trustees converted the Hamilton Free School into the first lending library in the area. Later became the Dyckman Institute, an educational

advocacy group. The school later evolved into a scholarship fund for students from Washington Heights and Inwood who wanted to attend Columbia University. And finally the Orphan Asylum Society became Graham Windham, a private nonprofit social services agency that gives parenting support and mental and behavioral health treatment to 5,000 children and families a year. Also operates as a school for at-risk youth. So good job Eliza! She and Alexander both left quite the legacies and now let's hop out of this timeline. Good job soldier. You've made it back. Barely.

Alexander Hamilton. What a life he led. The orphan from a little British island in the Caribbean made his way to the American colonies to study at King's College, aka Columbia University. Then dropped out to fight in the Revolutionary War, where he quickly became the right-hand man to America's greatest hero in that war, George Washington, a man he was not afraid to stand up to. You know, he was using Washington's at his side for months or, you know, left his side for months over some disagreement that may have been based on Hamilton feeling like he should have been given more authority in the battlefield. And then Washington gave him that authority, respected him that much. And then he helped the Patriots defeat the British in the pivotal battle of Yorktown

that resulted in General Cornwallis, leader of the British forces in America, surrendering. Then following the war, Hamilton worked as a lawyer, helped establish the principle of judicial review that we still use today. Then he moved into politics, writing dozens of essays that helped shape our current system of government. His biggest contribution was probably as the first Secretary of the Treasury under President Washington, establishing the US's first monetary system, the national debt, the tax system, and the custom service. Also founded and designed the first bank of the US in 1791, which served as the Treasury

Department's financial agent, depository for public funds, issuer of currency. Hamilton's work helped establish the country's modern banking system and federal budget process. Pretty incredible. And like every other meat sack, not perfect. He had at least one extra marital affair, talked a lot of shit about other politicians, Aaron Burr in particular, and went out of his way to destroy the political careers of those he disagreed with, including writing and publishing hatchet pieces under fake names. In the end, his shit talking was literally what got him killed when he disparaged Aaron Burr one too many times and refused to apologize about it, which led to a duel he seemed determined

to lose. What a crazy end to quite the life. Going over Hamilton's story this week has made me feel more hopeful, actually maybe, about political change. This guy fought so hard for what he believed to be right. And he did change things significantly for the new nation of the US. Maybe it's not too late to fix a lot of what's wrong with this nation today. Maybe if we all keep talking, if we exercise our right to vote in each and every election,

if we do our best to hold politicians accountable and not re-elect them if the abandoned campaign promises. Maybe if we rally and support politicians who don't seem afraid to stand up to corporate America and make sure our capitalist system is working for all the people and not just the upper 1%, we can make America the best it's ever been. Time now for today's takeaways. Time shock top 5 takeaways. Top 5 Takeaways Number 1, Alexander Hamilton, born July 11, 1755 or 1757. Historians aren't quite sure, but many believe Hamilton lied to make himself 2 years younger, so probably 1755. Details about his early life are very hard to come by, as it was a source of great shame for Hamilton.

He hated the fact that he was a bastard and had to work a lowly clerk job to get his start in life after being orphaned. Number two, Hamilton served in several key battles in the American Revolutionary War, but the biggest success of his military career came when he led a siege during the Battle of Yorktown. His bravery on the battlefield helped him secure a good public image, which was critical for him to launch his career in politics. Number three, Hamilton was a major figure during the Constitutional Convention of 1787, and he helped convince the state of New York to ratify the new Constitution, which established a three branch federal government in a system of checks and balances. Hamilton supported a strong central government and would later join the Federalist Party.

Number four, Hamilton was involved in multiple scandals during his political career, including a major sex scandal in 1797. His most well-known feud involved rival political politician Aaron Burr. And after Hamilton meddled in two elections involving Burr, then made some unsavory comments at a fucking

private dinner party, Burr challenged him to a duel. And now Hamilton felt forced to respond to defend his honor, even though he had zero interest in dueling. From the very beginning Hamilton planned to throw away his shot. Burr on the other hand did not, and I can't blame him. Hamilton died the day after the duel. Burr was charged with murder, but those charges were later dropped. At number five some new info, a little more information about Alexander Hamilton and slavery.

He had a very complicated relationship with slavery. Hamilton grew up around slavery in the Caribbean. He walked past auction blocks, routinely saw enslaved people being whipped and otherwise abused in the public square as a child. I can't imagine how much that would desensitize you, just lead you to see others as less than human. Slavery was all around Hamilton on St. Croix. 22,000 of the 24,000 residents were enslaved on sugar plantations. Hamilton's mother enslaved five people, hired them out to supplement her income, also enslaved four boys who acted as house servants.

She bequeathed one of the enslaved boys to Alexander, but the court denied his inheritance because he was illegitimate. Beekman and Kruger, the trading firm where Hamilton worked, imported enslaved people from West Africa. In 1772, Hamilton wrote a letter for the company seeking two or three boys for plantation work. He asked that they be quote bound in the most reasonable manner you can. When he came to America to study, Hamilton was surrounded by wealthy enslavers. Some fellow students even brought enslaved servants to school.

According to History.com, in his ambition to rise above his humble beginnings, Hamilton appeared to have frequently swallowed his anti-slavery sentiments as he pushed for acceptance into America's colonial elite. For example, Hamilton did not like to discuss slavery with George Washington, who enslaved over a hundred people at his Mount Vernon plantation. In 1774, while a student at King's College, a young Hamilton published his first major political essay titled, A Full Vindication of the Measures of Congress, which compared slavery to British oppression.

Five years later in 1779, though, Hamilton supported a plan to arm and enlist enslaved people and reward them with freedom. Hamilton wrote to the Continental Congress on behalf of the proposal, the dictates of humanity and the true policy equally interest me in the favor of this unfortunate class of men. I have not the least doubt that the Negroes will make very excellent soldiers with proper management. Their natural faculties are probably as good as ours. His proposal failed to win support and the plan was abandoned. Then in 1780 Hamilton married into a slaveholding family. Philip Skyler enslaved up to 27

people in his mansion, a nearby farm. In 1785, Hamilton helped found the New York Manumission Society, which sought gradual emancipation for enslaved people. The organization established the New York African Free School and helped pass a law in 1799 that freed the children of enslaved people, yet over half of the society's members enslaved people. Hamilton helped create a timetable for the society's members to free their enslaved workers but it went nowhere. Then in 1787, Hamilton knew he would need to compromise on slavery to protect the early government so he supported the three-fifths clause we discussed earlier.

Hamilton also involved in purchasing and selling enslaved people for the Schuyler family. In 1784 he attempted to help his sister-in-law Angelica require a formerly enslaved person. Yikes! He may have also owned slaves towards the end of his life. Historians disagree on whether his records refer to enslaved workers owned by the Schuylers or by the Hamiltons. For example, a 1796 cash book entry recorded a payment from Hamilton to Philip Skyler for quote, two Negro servants purchased for him, no excuse me, two Negro servants purchased by him for me. A ledger entry in 1797 noted a $225 deduction from the account of Angelica Skyler's husband

for the purchase of a quote, Negro woman and child. There's no definitive proof, but Hamilton's grandson, Alan McLean, Hamilton did say that the transactions were for his were for his grandfather. He wrote in the 1910 biography, it has been staged that Hamilton never owned a Negro slave, but this is untrue. We find that in his books, there are entries showing that he purchased them for himself and for others.

Hamilton criticized Aaron Burr for being an opportunist who would change his ideologies to help his career but it sure seems that he did the same shit when it came to the issue of slavery at least. Alexander Hamilton has been sucked. Thank you to the Bad Magic Productions team for helping make time suck. Starting with Queen of Bad Magic, Lindsay Cummins. Thanks to Logan Keith, helping to publish this episode, designing merch to the store, for the store. I cannot talk today. At badmagicproductions.com. I had COVID last week and didn't, not like the worst symptoms overall, but my God, the most

brain fog. I feel way better than a few days ago, but Jesus. Thanks to Olivia Lee for her initial research this week. Also thanks to the all-seen eyes, moderating the coldest and curious private Facebook page, Mod Squad, making sure Discord keeps running smooth, and everyone over on the Time Suckers subreddit and Bad Magic subreddits. And now it's time, of course,

for this week's Time Sucker updates. Updates, get your Time Sucker updates. week's Time Sucker updates. Update! Get your Time Sucker updates! Today's first update coming in from Super Sucker James Hall, Jimmy Jam, writing in with the subject line of MCMTC, Deborah and James Green released from prison. And Jimmy Jam wrote, I just listened to the MCMTC episode and skipped forward and started googling. There was very little information on what the leaders are up to now, very little comes up on Google. The Debra Green wiki page is for a physician that lit her house on fire.

The MCMTC Debra Green doesn't have a wiki page, strangely. I saw on wiki that Debra was released, though, on January 28, 2022 2022 following a complete dismissal of her charges and James Green was released from prison on May 4th 2023 what the actual fuck your Liam Neeson take and shoot him up fantasy is playing so hard on my head now I'm an utter disbelief I prayed to be Nimrod's will that they be brought to justice eventually in it court or in court or otherwise I'm sure this has already been sent in in the updates but still wanted to reach out in the off chance you didn't already know, I don't know if we covered this before because I don't remember.

Thanks for sending this in and yeah, it's disheartening to hear. Yeah, we covered the Aggressive Christianity Mission Training Corps cult. Is their actual full name? In episode 256, Green was the self-proclaimed general of the Aggressive Christianity Missions Training Corps, which is a compound south of Gallup, New Mexico. She was arrested in 2017 along with her husband and son-in-law amid widespread allegations of physical sexual abuse of children there. Green would plead no contest, be sentenced to 71 years, but then she would appeal and

have the conviction vacated, it seems like on a technicality. Both of these crazy fucks abused followers for decades ruined so many lives and now they're free over some bullshit. Why do we make it so easy for predators to walk free? With politics in my brain today, we need to support politicians who are tougher on sexual and violent crimes. It's very easy. When you're caught fucking with kids, you never get to walk free again. Ever. Most of the kid-willy occult fuckfaces from last week suck, right? They're free. We need to bring back public beheadings for certain crimes. Send a strong message, you know? Don't fuck or fuck with kids. And obviously the kid-willy thing happened in Wales, over in the UK,

but you know what? The whole world should get harder on this. Next up, from another sweet sack, Donald Rourke, who wrote it with the subject line of Dan's mush mouth made me crash my golf cart. And then Donald writes, been listening for a while now to both Time Suck and Scared to Death, you finally got me. Here I was doing security checks at a storage facility. I managed listing to, or at a storage facility I managed, listing to episode 414, the Taiping rebellion. At about 20 minutes 30 seconds in the King of Moshmouth says while talking about ancestor worship Quote making offerings of food and drink flowers and incest at gravesites Incest at gravesites Dan. I laughed so hard. I ran my golf cart into a building. Well, thank you Donald

I had a lot of people riding with that one. I love that the funniest thing I said that episode was unintentional I had a lot of people writing with that one. I love that the funniest thing I said that episode was unintentional. Yet performing incest at an ancestor's grave site, that's a very different visual than leaving incense. Much funnier, much more disturbing. And now one more just a quick silly one from funny sucker Terry Harmon Call, who writes in with the subject of moony drills. And Terry writes, a family friend told me

how she used to do moony drills with her daughter in the 70s. I'm guessing. I'll call the mother June and the daughter Barbara. June told Barbara she needed to react to moonies at the door by screaming for an adult. Because the moonies would totally be coming to a town of 1700 people in the middle of nowhere Oregon. June would go outside, knock on the door, pretending to be a moony. Barbara would answer the door and then June would yell and jump at her. June would calm her down and suggest Barbara knock, and June could show her how to do it. Before Barbara could knock, June would fling the door open, yell and jump at Barbara again.

Ha! June sounds like a nut, Terry. I'm not sure how this drill prepared Barbara for anything other than being nervous about her mom. But maybe it also did make her fear the moonies. I like I just like the idea. I wanted to share this because I like the idea of running drills with your kids from when people come to the door. They made me think about how fun it would be to have a drill with your kids when like a Jehovah's Witness, you know shows up at the door and just have your kid when they show up have your kid just say like straight face real somber real solemn, can you help us? There's a darkness in this home. And then have the parent run

past the door behind the kid after the kid says that down a hall or whatever in this wearing the scariest, most demonic looking Halloween mask you can find just like growl, just like growly or something. And then just have the kids say, still just very somber, straight face. Did you see the darkness darkness not everyone can see the darkness and Then they just slowly shut the door in the Jehovah's Witnesses face turn around and walk towards wherever their parent ran with the mask And then just hide until the the Jehovah's Witness leaves like how much would that fuck their mind up? Like it doesn't have to be jobs with it. Just be anybody I just think about who is coming to doors because solicitoritor, whoever. Could be the fucking, I don't know, somebody from FedEx.

But like if you both really committed to that, no one smiles, no one laughs, you know. Even if the person had thought for a second, and that's just somebody in a Halloween mask, I think they would still second guess themselves if the person slowly shut the door and then walked away in the way I just described. And they would just kind of wonder, what did I just see a demon destroying a family? Not sure why scenarios for fucked up shit like that formed so quickly in my mind. And now with that weird moment, I'm going to get out of here. Thanks time suckers. I needed that. We all did. Well, thank you for listening to another Bad Magic Productions podcast.

Hopefully my fog brain didn't ruin it. I spent an extra couple days like, wait, what? Making sure I think, thought I understood what I was talking about. Scared to death, time suck each week, short sucks, nightmare fuel. On the time sucks, scared to death podcast feeds some weeks. Please do not accept a duel this week. If you're not prepared to shoot back. Just apologize.

It's not that big of a deal. You can apologize and have honor. We all say stupid shit from time to time. Just eat some humble pie and just keep on sucking. Ad Magic Productions Dearest Angelica, your sister and I are freshly returned from our honeymoon. She may be with child now and I have you to thank. I could not have ravaged her so if thoughts of you did not so freely float into my mind. As a sister to my wife, I imagine your intimate anatomy must be quite similar. Thus when I penetrated her, it was as if I was penetrating

you, my darling. Did I mention I swiped a pair of your knickers when I last visited your father's house? Our honeymoon would have been a disaster without them. Before our trysts, I would step outside our chambers, retrieve your knickers, and inhale the scent of your loins deeply. And it would allow my resolve to harden and make fornication possible. Know that when your sister has my child,

it will be less your niece or nephew, more your daughter or son. Its flesh may belong to your sister, but in spirit it will be your child. Sweet, sweet Angelica, how I miss you so, how you torture my thoughts. Pray as I do that your sister passes unexpectedly and peacefully in the night. Soon, and be ready to take her place in our bed when she is gone. Respectfully, Alexander Hamilton, founding father,

hopeful sister-in-law fucker.