Timesuck with Dan Cummins - 419 - Joey Buttafuoco and Amy "The Long Island Lolita" Fisher

Episode Date: September 9, 2024

Do you remember when seventeen-year-old Amy Fisher shot the wife of her thirty-five-year-old lover, Joey Buttafuoco, in the face in May of 1992? At the time, I was too young to really give this story any attention, but what a wild story it is! Today, we get a little tabloid-esque, but also share the history of the cringey term "Lolita" and discuss the recent history of "age of consent" laws in this cautionary tale. Merch and more: www.badmagicproductions.com Timesuck Discord! https://discord.gg/tqzH89vWant to join the Cult of the Curious PrivateFacebook Group? Go directly to Facebook and search for "Cult of the Curious" to locate whatever happens to be our most current page :)For all merch-related questions/problems: [e-mail] (copy and paste)Please rate and subscribe on Apple Podcasts and elsewhere and follow the suck on social media!! @timesuckpodcast on IG and http://www.facebook.com/timesuckpodcastWanna become a Space Lizard? Click here: https://www.patreon.com/timesuckpodcast.Sign up through Patreon, and for $5 a month, you get access to the entire Secret Suck catalog (295 episodes) PLUS the entire catalog of Timesuck, AD FREE. You'll also get 20% off of all regular Timesuck merch PLUS access to exclusive Space Lizard merch. And you get the download link for my secret standup album, Feel the Heat.

Have you ever had a crush on someone that you were definitely not supposed to have a crush on? Maybe it was a crush on someone who worked underneath you. Maybe it was someone in a position of power above you. A teacher or a boss, a professor. Or maybe it was simply that this person was already spoken for. They already had a boyfriend or a girlfriend or a husband or a wife. Though it would be nice if we could all only find ourselves romantically or sexually interested in people who are always good for us, age appropriate, single, on a similar life path,

it's oftentimes the differences that seem to make us so attractive to one another. So if you've had this kind of crush, what did you do about it? Did you suffer in silence? Did you try to confess your feelings and end up getting flustered and stumbling all over yourself? Did you maybe get really drunk and do something super embarrassing? Or did you get over it? Did you maybe look back months or years or decades later and realize that you had really dodged a bullet, that probably nothing good or at least nothing worth it would have come

out of it? For the main characters in today's story, that would not happen. When 16 year old high school student Amy Fisher met 35 year old mechanic, dad, husband, huge dirtbag Joey Budafuco, she was not instantly smitten. But she sure became that way. The Long Island mechanic was effortlessly popular in his Long Island, New York town of Massapequa and at the garage complete auto body where he worked. And Amy, a high school student, wasn't exactly unpopular. She definitely had friends. But she'd also always sort of drifted to the sidelines, been friends with kids who weren't in the popular group. She was being bullied at school by older girls who saw her as promiscuous.

And one of those girls, a senior, beat the hell out of her when she was a sophomore leading to an extended stay in a hospital. Most of the time, Amy felt worthless, like so many teenagers unfortunately do. As an only child of two parents who seemed to spoil her rotten and give her anything she wanted, she looked for that same outpouring of affection from others, but didn't usually find it. Not until she met Joey Badufuco. When she was still 16, the two began to have an illicit, an illegal affair at the age of consent in New York at 17. It began after Amy purposefully damaged

her car just so she could visit him at a complete auto body and the two of them would then hook up in the apartment above the shop or at Amy's parents' house or at a number of seedy motels littered across Long Island. The affair initially made Amy feel great. She bragged to her friends about all the great sex she was having with Joey. It made her feel competent and sophisticated. She felt superior to Joey's wife and high school sweetheart, Mary Jo Buttafuko. Joey thought he was getting the deal of a lifetime for a particular kind of sleazy dude. A hot high schooler on the side, a faithful and loving wife at home.

But Joey, of course, would end up getting a lot more than he bargained for. I feel like that's normally the case with affairs. Never exactly recruited to join a think tank, Joey, holy hell does this guy have a bunch of rocks for a brain, neglected to think this situation through. That an emotionally stable, normal high schooler is not going to pursue sleeping with a dad of two over twice their age. And indeed, Amy was anything but stable.

She first started pressuring Joey to leave his wife and Joey initially seemed to have sort of humored her. But then it became more and more clear to Amy that Joey was not going to leave his wife. They had two adorable children, a bunch of friends, took regular Sunday outings on their boat where they barbecued and water-skied. Why would he give all of that up for Amy? Especially when he was already sleeping with her. With her and who knows how many other women or teens by the spring of Amy's senior year, 1992, the arrangement seems to have soured. Neither of them were getting what they wanted from each other anymore. Amy initially appeared to have gotten over it like so many teenagers get over their first big crushes. The now 17 year old started going with someone slightly more age-appropriate, 29 as opposed to 35, and seemed to look

forward to graduating and heading on to college and then her real life. But then on May 19th, 1992, Amy would do something that made it painfully clear she had not gotten over Joey. That she was pissed off that he was casting her aside. On that day, Amy approached the Massapequa house where Joey, Mary Jo, and their two children lived and rang the doorbell while Mary Jo was painting some furniture in the back. When Mary Jo answered the door, she had no idea why a teenage girl was standing on her porch holding one of Joey's complete autobody t-shirts. A tense, terse conversation followed and then Amy pulled out a gun.

The wild, tabloid fodder, juicy gossip of a story of Amy Fisher, infamously dubbed the Long Island Lolita, her affair with Joey Botafuco, and how sometimes a crush is definitely better left alone. Right now, on this true crime, but very unlike most of the true crime we've covered here before, edition of Time Suck. This is Michael McDonald and you're listening to Time Suck. Happy Monday and welcome or welcome back to the Cult of the Curious. I'm Dan Cummins, suck nasty, inquisitor's apprentice, professional rascal, guy who knows, you know, now wants to take a trip to Long Island and you are listening to Time Suck.

Important announcement before we get started. Coming up on our next episode drops this year's Street Team Stickers. Hail Nimrod on September 16th at noon Pacific time. The sticker packs go live in the store at badmagicproductions.com. Set your alarms. Once the 500 packs are gone, packs you only pay shipping and handling for, they are gone. And then get to sticking so you can win that $200 Bad Magic merch credit just by slapping stickers around your neck of the woods. Also a comic friend of mine, Greg Fitzsimmons, just released a new special on YouTube, You Know Me. I haven't had the chance to watch it all yet but what I've seen is fantastic. He's a veteran, a master of his craft, but doing it a long time, true master of joke

writing, and it's free to watch. So watch it. And also before I forget, Hail Nimrod, Hail Lusifena, praise good boy Bojangles and Glory B to triple M. And one more thing. Chapel or chapel? I want to say chapel. I want to say yeah, it is chapel. Her name is spelled like chapelle but it's chapel I just looked at that up before I started recording chapel rhone I was sleeping on her just started to listen to her music came across one of her songs on a playlist like a week ago her music is fantastic I don't normally gravitate towards pop but there's something very special with what she's doing is it normal to sit by yourself in a dark room taking a break from writing horror stories, doing

true crime research, listening to a chapel rhone and then just watching some of her videos and then just like cry a little bit and not totally understand why? Is that normal to have her music make you feel so many feels? Because that's what happens! And I'll stop now after fumbling through all that. Okay headed back to the realm of true crime for today's episode but not our usual foray into that space. No true murder this week. The story is admittedly pretty tabloidy kind of story I'm honestly rarely drawn towards but I remembered all the buzz the story got when it came out at the time I mostly ignored it and then recently skimming

across YouTube for some kind of pronunciation video I came across a video for Joey, but a fuku and yes His name does make me laugh because it sounds so much like Joey, but a fucko and I thought oh, yeah What was that guy's deal again? And then I remember the phrase Long Island Lolita and the name Amy Fisher And I was like didn't Alisa Milano play her in some movie What are what are a couple movies like kind of like life time II movies made about Amy Fisher. And I was like, didn't Alisa Milano play her in some movie? Were there a couple movies? Like a kind of like life timey movies made about Amy Fisher?

Yep. And well, the more I looked into it all, the more my curiosity was piqued and here we are. And I'm glad we're here. It is a crazy story. Take away the age difference between the two and it's a very common and relatable tragedy, right? Young couple gets married.

They have kids, start to build a nice life for themselves, buy a nice house, then a nicer house, buy a boat maybe, live in the dream. Then one of them starts to risk it all by stepping out, having sex with other people. Usually it's a dude having sex with a younger woman. And for a while, right, this person's living the high life, they're having their cake, they're eating it too, but then as many of their friends who have learned or become suspicious about the affair or affairs have been expecting, it all comes epically crashing down. How many politicians and evangelists and actors and others in the public spotlight have lost it all or lost a lot over an affair or affairs? How many

friends and or family members have you personally watched go through this? Maybe you've gone through this. Maybe you're going through this right now. After my divorce before I met Lindsay, I jumped into a rebound relationship way too quick and without getting any of the therapy I so desperately needed looking back and I started stepping out and I'll never forget what a friend said to me when he figured Something was up. He took me aside and said I don't know exactly what you're doing but I know where this story ends with a you-haul and tears and

That's so true They were right and then this person who told me that this also cheated a couple years later got caught and lost his relationship It's it's so tragically common When my relationship came crashing down, I felt deservedly like scumbag. I was being a scumbag I was deeply ashamed still carry shame. Luckily learn from my mistakes. I learned that was not who I wanted to be That is not the case with Joey, but a fuku Amy was not his first affair would not be his last Joey Budafuco. Amy was not his first affair, would not be his last. He just kept doing the same dumb shit. Kept getting caught, kept being forgiven for a long time, kept, you know, risking ruining

his life further until eventually he was all out of forgiveness and lost it all. Such a cautionary tale. A tale as old as time, as they say. Whoever they are. Yeah, this episode is a great reminder to not cheat. Go to therapy. End your relationship if you have to, but don't try and live a double life. And keep your relationship, but also other relationships, because odds are it's going to catch up to you. In the end, it's going to be some version of a U-Haul in tears. Mary Jo Budafuco, the woman who was almost murdered by Amy Fisher after being shot in the face, would luckily make a somewhat full recovery.

Though she would suffer from facial paralysis and other health complications, but she wouldn't die from the bullet that Amy shot to the right side of her skull. Even though there wasn't a murder, Amy Fisher and Joey Budafuco still hold a steady place in many people's list of crimes of the century, especially if you happen to live in New York, especially Long Island, or the greater New England area in the 1990s. Within hours of the shooting that would blow the story of the affair wide open, the media picked up on it as a case of nearly lethal attraction, fatal attraction, branding 17-year-old Amy Fisher as the Long Island Lolita, who seduced Joey Butafuco, got jealous, and tried to ruin his family

forever. Articles about the pair just were like media hit after hit after hit made even better by the distinctive personalities of the leading woman and man. Amy Fisher was the only child of Elliot and Roseanne Fisher, a spoiled teenage princess who got whatever she wanted and used her sex appeal as a way to get attention. Joey Budafuco, God, he's a character. Brash-talking, charismatic, but dumb as shit mechanic who'd grown up in Long Island, had a habit of joking around with the press more than he refuted them, which would not help him in the sense of becoming fodder. These two became punchlines for years. They're still punchlines. Alongside others from the 90s, people like Tonya Harding, the Olympic figure skater who had a hand in the assault of fellow figure skater

Nancy Kerrigan or Monica Lewinsky, infamous for having an affair as a White House intern with then president and again much older man Bill Clinton. She was 22. He was 49 when they first started fucking around in the White House. Bill Clinton, by the way, last president to balance the federal budget in 1998. He was the first to balance the budget in 29 years. Today the US carries over $35 trillion of debt. Huge accomplishment, but to so many he's a punchline because of his affair. In recent years the culture has seemed to shift around Harding and Lewinsky, both being the subjects of cinematic retellings of their scandals, I, Tanya, and Impeachment, American crime story respectively.

And these retellings are much more sympathetic to the women involved than the press was at the time of their scandals. Interestingly, no such apology seems to be coming Amy Fisher's way. Why is that? To answer that question let's first get into the concept of what a Lolita is before diving into the sordid tale of Amy Fisher and Joey Budafuco in the timeline. Have you ever heard the term Lolita thrown around? I bet you have. I have. But honestly, I didn't really know exactly what it meant.

I thought it was synonymous with seductress or temptress or lusifena. Not quite. Kind of but not quite. These days, you might be more likely to recognize the term from the Japanese fashion subculture, which is distinctive for its emphasis on ruffles, petticoats, bows, all things girly. And similarly, Japanese animes where young girly girls are sometimes described as lolitas. Or you might know it from a distinctly more sordid place, the dark side of the internet, where lolita is a sort of code word for women who look, but hopefully are not, underage. The broader cultural definition is of a girl, a young girl,

specifically a young girl who is quote, precociously sexual. You might think of a 13 or 14 year old girl in crop tops and short shorts wearing heart-shaped sunglasses acting like a girl who's well into high school if not college. Do you know where the term, even the imagery, comes from? Comes from a book, and a book not written really all that long ago. Lolita is the name of a 1955 novel written by Russian-American novelist Vladimir Nabokov that addresses the rightfully controversial subject of hebephilia, the attraction not to very young children who haven't hit puberty yet, but to children, typically girls, who have just begun to go through puberty, or are just on the other side of it. Kids from the ages of 12 or so to 15.

So, still fucked up, but maybe a little less fucked up. They go on after eight-year-olds. The protagonist of this novel is a French literature professor who moves to New England and writes under the pseudonym of Humbert Humbert. Pretty weird name, pseudonym. He's obsessed with a 12-year-old so-called nymphette, Dolores Hayes, whom he kidnaps and sexually abuses after becoming her stepfather, fucking gross. Privately, he calls her Lolita, Spanish nickname for Dolores. The novel was originally written in English, but fear of censorship in the U.S. where Nabokov lived in Britain led to it being first published in Paris, France in 1955 for Olympia Press. Though a lot happens in the plot, this complicated and convoluted, what the book actually is is quite simple. A thought experiment on

Nabokov's part. Could he write so charmingly, so charismatically, that the audience wouldn't become just outrageously fucking disgusted with the actions of Humbert and actually see Dolores how he saw her? Could he get people to sympathize with someone who is a child rapist? One of the things that men like Humbert Humbert and their real life counterparts use to advance their quote claims that they should be able to have sex with whoever they want or at least anyone who is pubescent or post-pubescent is the,

let's call it, murkiness around age of consent laws. In the United States, each state and territory sets the age of consent either by statute or common law, depending on the jurisdiction, and the legal age of consent is now between 16 and 18. In some states, it's restricted by age difference, so-called Romeo and Juliet laws, where the younger partner is deemed able to consent to having sex with an older one as long as their age difference does not exceed a specified amount. To make exceptions for like a 19-year-old and a 17-year-old, an 18 to make exceptions for like a 19-year-old and a 17-year-old, an 18-year-old and a 16-year-old type thing.

In other states, the younger partner is deemed able to consent to having sex with an older one as long as the latter is not in a position of trust or authority or is not recognized to be abusing the inexperience of the younger one, and in some places is completely unrestricted in ways other than just age. Unsurprisingly, while the unrestricted age of consent is now between 16 and 18 in all US states, the laws have widely varied, disturbingly varied across the country in the past. Super fun to double check or add to all of Sophie's initial research on this one, by the way. Googling as a 47-year-old man shit like, what what is the unrestrained age of consent by state? Yeah, that's not creepy at all

Whatever NSA agent has been assigned to surveil me the past eight years certainly got pinged a whole bunch this week It's what the fuck is coming to looking at now my god. I've got to get this monster locked up Yeah, I did all my research in prep either at home or at the office on this one I was not about to have my browser open to searches like the one I just described at a local Starbucks or some other coffee shop. Oh hell no. There's not that many good coffee shops to work at around Coeur d'Alene. I don't want to not be able to show my face at any of them anymore thanks to this episode. Anyways back in 1880, back back in the good old days, the the age of consent were set at 10 or 12 in most states.

That's fucking crazy. 10 or 12. Just think about that for a second. 10 or 12 years old. With the exception of Delaware, where it was, oh wait for it, and have your barf bag on hand. Seven. Not 17.

Seven. As in a second grader. What the actual fuck? Now according to one random person on Reddit, quote, the quoted age of consent for Delaware in 1880 is only in regards to the crime of rape and was set by an 1871 act. Most states had separate punishments

for raping an adult woman and raping a child. When Delaware made the rape of a child a capital crime again, the age between an adult and child was adjusted from 10 to seven, likely so fewer people would be subject to the death penalty. How many fucking people? We're fucking eight year olds. Raping a person over the age of seven

still carried a 10 year prison sentence. Every other source I can find just says seven though, for consent. I hope the Redditor is correct even though it's still super fucked up but otherwise so much more fucked up otherwise there was a seriously messed up debate that led to this law like when they were legislating this they were apparently all in agreement that a six-year-old definitely too young to fuck but then when it came to a seven-year-old I just

pictured them initially leaning towards classifying a 7 year old as a kid, but then one creep was like, now hold up a second. While I do believe some 7 year olds most definitely still look like childrens, let me show a little picture of my niece. I mean, do my eyes deceive me? Or are those titties? I mean those titties are bigger than the titties of some full-grown into 20s or 30s women's And if we could get our jawless off with those titties, then why not with these titties? And there's just a bunch of this gross murmurs of agreement. Mmm. Yes. Here's a good point. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah

What the fuck? Yeah, and again, even if it was still just for a rape classification that is still so messed up Seven is not even in the ballpark of not being a kid. You're still like a little tiny kid. Ten is still super gross. So is twelve. Have you seen a twelve year old lately? If Monroe was twelve, some grown ass man would have tried to court her. I legitimately might be in prison for murder right now. 13, 14, 15, 99% of kids those ages look so young.

They all in a certain sense look very young. And all of them emotionally are still so young. Their bodies might look mature, but their brains not even close to being finished cooking. Thankfully, the ages of consent were raised across the US during the late 19th and early 20th centuries. By 1920, 26 states had an age of consent at 16. 21 states had an age of consent at 18.

Just one state, fucking Georgia, held on for 14. And if you're like, hey, those numbers don't add up to 50 states, well, you are right. Back in 1920, there were still just 48 states. Hawaii and Alaska, still on the fence. Also Jesus Christ Georgia. Just because the rest of the nation wants to infantilize our young full-titted, curvy-hipped, ripe as an August peach Southern Belle, that doesn't mean we should blindly

follow suit. If the rest of the state decided to jump off a cliff, would we follow? No sir. Now let's protect our fine young southern gentleman by keeping those titties free To be fine. What the fuck? Way worse in Georgia the last state to raise the age of consent from 14 to 16 was not a state in 1920 was Hawaii Hawaii didn't change their law until 2001 yikes and I do keep referring to to just girls when talking about these consent laws. Age of consent laws historically not, or excuse me, age of consent laws historically only

applied when a female was younger than her male partner. Which is kind of weird, right? Just such a culture with boys of, oh if he can get it, let him get it! Let the boy play! Hello, Mrs. Robinson! I feel like that is also reflective, though, of the fact that statistically, women just aren't as fucking creepy as dudes, actually. It wasn't until 2015 that age-consent laws across the U.S. had all become gender-independent.

And even more fucked up, until the late 20th century, many states had provisions requiring that the teenage girl must be of, quote, chased character in order for the sexual conduct to be considered criminal. Holy shit! provisions requiring that the teenage girl must be of, quote, chased character in order for the sexual conduct to be considered criminal. Holy shit. Yes, Your Honor, she is only 13, but she's even thrown around that pussy for a minute. Why should my client be sent to prison

for dipping their bucket in a well that's been quenching thirst for many months, if not years, before he ever dared to drink? I mean, that's essentially what they were saying. 1998, Mississippi became the last state to remove that chastity provision from its code. Good job, Mississippi. Way to stop slut-shaming children just before the end of the 20th century. Very progressive.

Looking at all this, we can see that age consent laws haven't been a one-size-fits-all concept throughout history and throughout geographic space and the people who are against age consent laws for one reason or another many of them these days are Libertarians but do not look at me I'm not on that bandwagon. Quick to point out that the inconsistency of these laws means that there's not a quote right way to deem a young person ready for sex so is there a wrong way? Yes. Yes there's not a quote right way to deem a young person ready for sex. So is there a wrong way? Yes. Yes, there's definitely a wrong way.

I'll admit it can get gray in certain instances, like with a very mature 16 year old and an immature say 20 year old, which is why the Romeo and Juliet laws exist. But in 2024, there's no justification for me of a 16 year old and a 35 year old getting together. It's not the old days before a 16 year old and a 35 year old getting together. It's not the old days before modern medicine and transportation and a time of massive gender income inequality where a 16 year old girl would shack up with a 35 year old man because he owned land.

She couldn't get a job. He needed kids to help him work the farm and she lived way the fuck out in the country where there's only like three dudes in the area who aren't already married or her brothers and he's the best of the sad lot. The times have changed and the laws have reflected that. But the argument is if you can have sex with a 16 year old in Hawaii why can you only have sex with an 18 year old in California? And what magic takes place on someone's 18th birthday that makes them suddenly ready for a sexual relationship that they weren't ready to have when they were 17 and 11 months. Framed that way, I

admit there is no perfect way to regulate sexuality. And I will add there are some 20 year olds who are emotionally less ready for a sexual relationship than some 16 year olds. Emotional maturity, just like physical development. Well it's gonna vary from person to person, sometimes considerably. Adding to the argument, why can't for example kids who are 16 in some states get their driver's licenses Be able to operate a dangerous motor vehicle easily capable of killing them and anyone else in the road around them But not be trusted with their own or others bodies when it comes to their sexuality and these are again Obviously not my opinions. I hope that's obvious

And these are again, obviously not my opinions. I hope that's obvious. They're just some of the questions that come up when you try to put a boundary on something that actually is somewhat vague, like adulthood. Most scientists agree that brain development doesn't finish until your mid-20s, even your late 20s. So does that mean that we should try to keep people from having sex until then? And to be fair, not all of the people who ask these questions want to have sex with teenagers. I don't think. Some are just worried about the government having domain over people's personal sexual relationships.

You know, too much power. Like in 2022, an Arizona Libertarian Party candidate for Senate, Mark Victor, said during a debate that the age of consent should be left to a vote and not decided by state legislature. And that does not mean that Mark wants to fuck kids. debate that the age of consent should be left to a vote and not decided by state legislature. And that does not mean that Mark wants to fuck kids. Even though when he said that he had a thin little tiny mustache and he was wearing tinted fucking glasses. Aviator style no less, indoors. As if he was hoping to maybe attract the attention of some casting directors watching the debate who would then cast him as a pedophile. He actually did have that look. Dude needed some better advisors. But seriously, in the absence of a definitive answer

to thorny questions about when people become adults and how that should be processed to the law, I hope that everyone listening could recognize that someone in their 30s or older having sex with a teenager, even an older teenager who may want to date older people is almost certainly detrimental to their emotional and psychological development.

Even if these teenagers willingly consent, even if they are the ones pursuing you, it is the obligation of the adult to not involve them in something that they are not emotionally and psychologically equipped to handle. Joey Budafuco would not do that. He fell squarely into the age is just a number rationalization camp. He fell in love with his wife Mary Jo when she was a teenager. He was too. But then they both got older as people do and it seems he may have started to become less attracted to her and more attracted to girls who looked like her when they first met. And when an attractive teen firecracker named Amy Fisher started hanging out around his shop and flirting with them, well, Joey thought he'd hit the jackpot.

A woman to raise her children, cook his meals, be his companion in their upper middle class social circle, and a teen girl to have lots of crazy sex with. That was his life. Until of course, it wasn't. Until it all came epically crashing down. And now, let's tell this tale. Right after our first of two mid-show sponsor breaks. Thanks for listening to those ads.

If you don't want to hear them anymore, get the entire catalog ad free and more by signing up to be a space lizard on Patreon for five bucks a month. Thank you, space lizards! And now, let's jump into this timeline. Let us begin with the first born of our main characters today. Joseph A. Botafuco. Born on Long Island, New York, March 11,, 1956, cannot find out what the A stands for. Not even after looking into a birth registry from New York from 1956.

Let's pretend it's Ass Clown. Joseph Ass Clown Butafuco. He was the youngest child of Luis Butafuco, a homemaker and Casper Butfucker, a former race car driver who now worked at tracks all over Long Island. The Buttafucos, guy that really is some name, were natives of Massapiqua, moving into their two-story brick home on Biltmore Boulevard when Joey was just three years old. And then tragedy soon struck. Excuse me, when Joey was barely four, his mother, Louise, died.

She stepped in front of a moving bus when it finally sunk in that she would hear teen boys whisper stuff like, isn't that Mrs. Buttfucker for the rest of her life? I'm not sure how she died. Sources don't say, but she died. Sources do say that Mr. Buttafucko soon remarried and his new wife, Willie Mae, Willie Mae Buttfucko, Willie Mike Fuckubato had a son a son Bruce from a previous marriage.

Not sure if Bruce took his stepdad's name, but I hope he did. Bruce Buttfucker has a classy ring to it. And then Casper the Friendly Buttfucker opened his own gas station now in Jamaica, Queens, and with a partner opened Complete Auto Body and Fender. Meanwhile, Lil Joey Buttfuck, I promise I won't always change her name to that, was grown up and it wasn't long before he met Mary Josephine Connery when they were both freshmen at Massapequa High School on Merrick Road,

same grade, although she was a year older than him. Joey was instantly smitten by the hazel-eyed Mary Jo, the eldest daughter of a large Irish Catholic family from nearby Massapequa Park, and soon they were a hot ticket. Soon, Jo was getting her butt fucked. I mean, was on her way to being a butt-a-fucko. Mary Jo was watching Joey lift weights, cheering him on during some kind of amateur arm wrestling matches he competed in, and then afterwards they'd go to one of their houses and cuddle. And by cuddle, I mean probably fooling around. Mary

Jo's parents, Francis and Pat Connery, were pleased by the match. Joey's family was close-knit and Italian Catholic, just like the Connerys, checked a lot of boxes for him. Then when Mary Jo was in her sophomore year at Massapequa High, her family moved a few miles away to a large rambling blue Victorian style house in the village of Massapequa Park. Surrounded by a brown picket fence, the house, larger than Joey's, had a small garden in the back, wooden country-style sign hanging by the front door, the Connery House. Soon the two were spending all their time there and already making wedding plans. Joey's high school yearbook in 1974 had just one phrase printed under his photo, I love Mary Jo.

Pretty adorable. But they were just kids, prone to making bad bad decisions and bad decisions were made. At one point Amy would later say that Joey told her this. Joey cheated on Mary Jo and got another girl pregnant. This cheating began so early. He was never going to be faithful to Mary Jo. Clearly, Joey wasn't that devoted to Mary Jo and they should have broken up. They were too young. Joey clearly was not ready to settle down. He was still in high school. Well, that girl eventually gave birth to a son and then Joey would have nothing to do with raising this boy as the girl and their son. And her parents all moved to Florida. Shortly after high school graduation, Joey then joined his brother Bobby working at Complete Auto Body for

their father, learning to fix all sorts of different models of cars. Early that year, Casper Botafuco, that is fucking quite a name, bought an adjoining property and expanded their repair shop almost two-fold. And now, with his life started, the young couple would take the next step. I should say with their life, together started. Joey Bottifuco married Josephine Connery, married in 1977 at the local Saint Rose of Lima Roman Catholic Church. The newlyweds moved into their first home, a modest little place on Ashland Avenue in Baldwin, just a five minute drive from the shop. Their son Paul was born three years later.

Three years after that, their daughter Jessica was born. They would have had children even faster, more of them, but you know how those buttafuccos do. Always treating the back door like a front door. They only had vaginal sex for variety, and it was back to the butt, buttafuco butta-bing. If they could have had butt babies, they would have easily had a couple thousand kids together. Classic buttafuckos. They love to go take the bike on the road, but only if they can race to do some of the mud, if you know what

I'm saying. And I think most of you sadly do. Okay, despite my nonsense, they were a normal family, buying their kids toys, decorating their home, occasionally splurging like when Joey got himself a motorcycle. But behind the closed doors of 637 Ashland, a problem was intensifying and getting out of hand. Joey, snorting a little cocaine. Doing a little bit of that alley coke. Like a lot of it. And doing a lot of blow tends to add a wee bit of chaos to one's life, if you don't know. All good things in moderation, especially coke. Started as a sporadic treat late at night after the kids were put to bed, but then Joey

he started hanging out with the local Long Island rock and roll band doing some drugs with them, some other musicians, and now let's leave him for a little bit. We'll catch up with his Coke wheelings and dealings in just a little bit here. Let's back up a little. Amy Elizabeth Fisher was born August 21st, 1974. For her parents, Elliot and Roseanne, it was love at first sight. Roseanne was just 21, Elliot 39. Being into much older men seems to have run in her family. For the couple, Amy's birth made it seem like

they were destined to be a happy family despite the large age gap. They'd already faced a lot of judgment for the 18 large age gap. They'd already faced a lot of judgment for the 18-year age difference. Judgment from friends, parents, co-workers, mentors. They were also from very different backgrounds. Elliot was a Brooklyn native, raised Jewish, Roseanne an Italian-American Catholic. She grew up on Long Island. Together before they had Amy, the couple had already opened Stitch and Sew, a discount upholstery shop in the working class section of

Freeport, a sizable village of over 40,000 on Long Island South Shore. Long Island just packed with one village flowing into the next. Ellet managed the store while Rose did most of the custom work, sewing drapes and slipcovers, reupholstering furniture. They spent long hours to shop, working six days a week. Slowly, the Fishers began to build a reputation as good business people who offered fair prices and quality work. They built up a solid customer base and they were wise with the money they made, invested in

stocks and bonds, set aside money for the retirement. And then with baby girl Amy they were living the dream and she would be their only child. When Amy was four months old the fishers moved into a four-bedroom brick and white shingle high ranch in the Mandalay section of Wantaugh also on Long Island South Shore the neighborhood was quiet tree-lined nice middle-class enclave near the beach the three roads in the area main ones Bayview Riverside Drive Mandalay Beach Road ended at a marina where the area's more well-to-do residents docked their boats and based on pics online it looks like the entire area is pretty well-to-do

now I got sucked in I don't entirely understand why I love checking out in residents docked their boats. And based on PicsOnline, it looks like the entire area is pretty well to do now. I got sucked in. I don't entirely understand why I love checking out an area's neighborhoods on Google Maps and on YouTube walking tours, but I do. And Wanta, pretty damn adorable looking. There are so many cool places to live around the world. Kind of blows my mind.

Wish I could live hundreds of years so I could experience them all. Well, Mandalay Elementary School was just around the corner from their house and Elliot and Roseanne were able to watch their daughter walk down the street every morning where she would cross assisted by a smiling yellow-vested crossing guard. Sounds ideal. Amy loved school.

Her parents were active in her education, showing up to performances, to meetings with teachers. The only bad spot in her early childhood came from a freak accident that resulted in a serious eye injury when she was a little kid, leaving her vision in one eye slightly blurred. When she was two and a half, she threw a ball at the ceiling, shattered a light fixture, looked up just as the glass fell. She had to have surgery and ten years of vision rehabilitation therapy. And that perhaps led to her parents spoiling her even more than maybe they were already going to do.

They would give her a dog, fish, hamsters, lizards, they enrolled her in soccer, softball, proudly hung her artwork on the walls, she loved to paint and draw, they would buy her basically any toy she wanted, and maybe all that indulging backfired. Amy never really seemed to fit in at school. She didn't really have any close friends. Those she went to school with remembered her later as a consummate attention-getter who would do anything on a dare, anything to get more attention, like showing up to school wearing a clown's wig. It was like the more attention she got at home, the more, you know, the star of the family that she was, the more attention she also wanted from

the rest of the world. She wouldn't get it. As she grew up, her parents continued to shower their daughter with attention and gifts. If there was a new toy-out man she got at the day it came out. She'd bring it to school the next day to show her friends, which probably did not help endear her to them. The fishers were able to keep spoiling her because business kept booming. They were doing so well that by the time Amy graduated sixth grade, Elliot and Roseanne were thinking of getting a bigger house. Amy didn't want to move, but Elliot and Roseanne fell in love with a $360,000 house in nearby Merrick that checked all the boxes for him. Large, two-story split level, two-car garage, secluded dead-end street. Merrick, with his perfectly groomed lawns, large, often new houses was at the time at least a step up from Wanta.

Might still be nicer today, but poking around online, they look pretty similar to me. The couple would be even closer to their stitch and sew business now, shorter commute. They moved in 1986 when Amy was in seventh grade. Though they'd only move a few miles down the road it was a huge change for Amy. She hadn't wanted to move. She was used to getting her own way but she didn't get it this time. And then something tragic would happen soon in the family's new home. One day not long after they moved in while her parents were at work Amy, just 12 years old, led in one of her father's acquaintances, a guy he had hired to lay some new

tile in the bathroom, and he allegedly sexually assaulted Amy. Years later, she would boast to friends that she had lost her virginity in seventh grade, saying she'd, quote, fucked a tile man. Perhaps this allowed her to see the assault as something fun and interesting, rather than as something disturbing and sad, and to bury her own feelings about it and gain social acceptance in the process. And this molestation, unfortunately, would seem to send Amy's life in a new hypersexual direction if she wasn't already hypersexual for her age. Just a few months after the assault, Amy enrolled at Merrick Avenue Junior High for 8th grade. It wasn't, yeah, Merrick Junior High. I don't know if it's, I don't know why it's, maybe it's called Avenue.

Now I'm like, should I double check that it's called Avenue? It wasn't easy being the new kid at the school. Amy was quiet. She felt shy around her more boisterous classmates, most of whom had known each other since elementary school. But within a few months, Amy had settled in. She even met a classmate, John Pasillas, in art class, who became her first boyfriend. Amy and John, they passed love notes in class. They would meet after school to make out.

Amy would cheer for John at football games and wrestling matches. They would talk on the phone for hours. You know, like much of Amy's life, their relationship was pretty idyllic and all American. But then by the end of the semester, John told Amy he liked someone else, and the two broke up. And Amy was crushed. Because she'd been seeing- because she would be seeing him at the junior high dance with his new girlfriend soon, she got her parents to get her the all-star treatment. New dress, gobs of makeup, and an escort in a white limousine. Probably too much. Probably spoiling her too much there. Now let's stay in 1986 and see what's up with the butt fucks. I mean the butt fuckers. The buttafuckos.

That year the buttafuckos sold their house in Baldwin, moved over to one Adam Road West in the upscale neighborhood of Biltmore Shores in Massapequa. Their new house cost $186,000. The couple took on a $126,000 mortgage. They seemed to be

set up well financially. Joey and his brother pooled their money to buy out their dad's partner, and now Complete Auto Body was theirs and theirs alone. A true family business. However, by the mid-80s, their brother's business relationship was crumbling because of sweet, sweet cocaine. Oh, that nose candy. It'll get you. Cocaine will tell you, you don't need to work so hard.

Now just enjoy your life. You just need to keep snorting more cocaine. Everything's gonna be fine Joey ass clowns drug use without a control and daddy Casper and brother Bobby butt fuck were upset about it They were butthurt if you will and after months of bitter arguing they had an intervention and Joey did not take it Well, he claimed he was fine. They didn't have a problem. He sold back his sheriff complete auto body to his dad and bro Coke was talking to him too much Trying to tear us apart. Oh, he they're jealous. We got a good thing going here. We're having fun, aren't we? Why would you want the good times to ever end? We don't need them now together. We can do anything

We'll open our own place. Oh, we'll blow them out of the water. Just keep snort, brother. Just keep on snorting and everything's gonna be fine Joey believed he was better off on his own With the money he received he opened his own auto body shop nearby on New Bridge Road But within two months the business collapsed and then Joey lost tens of thousands of dollars Fucking coke and Joey don't worry about it, baby. Just a minor setback two steps for one step back That's that step back now snort me. Let's fucking go, baby Now at rock bottom Joey decided that he does have a problem and needs to face it

Checks into South Oaks mental health center in Massapicua for its 28 day drug rehab program and it seemed to work Joey turned it around. He's not only now stop snorting coke He stops drinking which too often used to go hand-in-hand with the blow. He goes to meetings, he starts working in complete autobody again for his dad and bro. And he's able to get his shit together, in large part thanks to the unfailing support of his wife Mary Jo, who never considered leaving him over all this for a second. Fall of 1988 ended up being a turning point in Joey's life, and he was moving in the right direction again. But it won't last a long time. Also in the fall of 1988, Amy began ninth grade at John F. Kennedy

High School. John F. Kennedy considered the cool high school in the area at least at that time, full of a spoil rich kids. School's parking lot was filled with convertibles, Corvettes, even some BMWs. Kids packed mansions for house parties on Saturdays or when the weather was warm they'd head over to the town beach or to Jones Beach State Park down the road, just one expressway exit away. For seniors, beach parties were a weekly occurrence whenever the weather was good, beginning as soon as school let out on Fridays. But Amy, a lowly freshman, wasn't invited to the cool parties. Not right away. She seemed to know that she'd never be popular in the conventional way, so she tried a new tactic it seems. She began to brag about her older boyfriends, started to dress like a girl who would have

older boyfriends. Sometimes she wore comfortable clothes still, oversized champion sweatshirts, jeans, red cowboy boots. But she also wore provocative outfits, skimpy shorts with her ass cheeks hanging out, tight form-fitting crop tops that bared a lot of skin as well, didn't leave a lot to the imagination. With her wavy shoulder length dark hair, her slight five foot three frame, she soon began to get attention right from the upperclassmen that she wanted to get attention from, and from random men on the street. And she liked it. And while she may not have been promiscuous at this point, Amy would say she only had one relationship with a fellow high schooler around

this time, a classmate named Rob that was pretty vanilla she said, you know, walking on the beach, kissing, taking pics of one another, that sort of thing. She did start to gain a reputation at school for being promiscuous, which did not lead to a lot of the other girls at school liking her, especially upperclassmen. One group of popular girls, some real mean girls it seems, and I finally saw the movie Mean Girls by the way. Yes, it was fantastic Tina Fey is a gem Well, these girls would make fun of her push her in the hallway that sort of shit as she walked to class knock books out Of her hands, you know

She's truly being bullied and she tries to fight back and during her sophomore year She gets into a big screaming hair pulling fistfight with one of the girls in the Mean Girls click a senior who was a lot Bigger a lot stronger than Amy was. And this girl beat the shit out of Amy. Repeatedly punched her in the face hard enough to break her nose and dislocate her jaw. This was a serious fight. Lots of blood and bruises. Amy ended up in the hospital. Her face was swollen, black and blue. Had to have surgery on her nose. It was serious enough that she would miss her sophomore year exams. Her parents, extremely upset, rightfully so, they filed a 1.2 million dollar

negligence lawsuit against the school district, charging that it failed to protect her daughter from an escalating situation of bullying that lasted for months leading up to the fight. The senior was charged with misdemeanor assault but took a plea deal, got a reduced charge of harassment in juvenile court. Amy received a permanent order of protection against the girl, and her parents paid the Fishers $5,100 for medical bills. It is unclear if the case against the school ever proceeded. Doesn't seem like it did.

I don't think they got a big settlement. And even if it did, it would soon be overshadowed by a much bigger story involving Amy. Amy, now about to start her junior year with the memories of her assault fresh and other students minds is struggling. Not only is school a tough place to be but several extended members of her family also died of breast cancer around the same time and her dad Elliot had gotten into some sort of fucking quibble some falling outs with various family members over what is not clear, but it was serious enough that they stopped going to large family gatherings around the holidays, which plunged Amy further into isolation. Then things got worse in 1990 when Elliot Fisher had some heart problems, underwent a quadruple

bypass surgery. He now needed to take daily medication and his doctors told him to avoid stress at all costs. Well, that was soon going to be impossible. Despite all the stress, Amy, still having a normal childhood, maybe, she would later, while in prison for attempted murder, allege that her dad, well, that wasn't the actual charge, but that's what she went there for, because she pled down. But while in prison, she would allege that her dad physically abused her growing up, and Joey would allege that her father sexually molested her. Maybe all that happened, it doesn't come up in hardly any sources. Wasn't something that she fully admitted herself the sexual part. I don't know, I certainly wasn't there. However, I should add, also add,

Amy's account of her childhood did keep changing after her arrest. You know, it started off being pretty idyllic, and as more time went on, she painted it as being more and more tragic. Before she became a porn star, and then while she was working in porn, she claimed that Joey literally pimped her out. In prison, she claims that Joey planned his wife's murder, but then later she would say it was her fault. She claimed for a while that she had a secret abortion at 16, but also would claim that despite rebelling as a teen, despite being a sex worker, she literally never drank a single beer, ever had even a cigarette. I don't know. She's kind of all over the place and clearly troubled, so it's hard to know

what's real from what is a kind of a plea for sympathy. But she could be telling the truth, she could be trying to paint herself as more sympathetic, she could be, you know, both could be true. She could be someone who was repeatedly sexually victimized growing up and someone who shot Mary Jo in the face. Yeah, just for for several reasons. Anyway, to the outside world at this time, right before she met Joey, it seemed at the very least the life was going well again for Amy. She was playing soccer, she would jog around the school track, stay in shape, love to kill hours on the Nintendo. She'd watch days of our lives

while she would down six packs of diet soda, blast songs by the Beatles, the Doors, others on her CD player. Very typical teen, again, in many ways. Rarely cleaned a room to the irritation of her parents, that kind of shit. In quieter moments, she painted in watercolors, dreamt of studying at the Fashion Institute

of Technology in Manhattan. Lindsay actually considered going to that school before going to their sister school in LA. When Amy was 16, her dad got her a Yorkie named Muffin. Amy loved the dog, dressed her up in pink ribbons, played with her in the backyard. To all the world, Amy looked like a normal kid who had the kind of adolescence that many of us, you know, would wish for, would hope for, but also the adolescence if you dug in a little deeper, you know, full of highs and lows, but ultimately normal. If anyone knew that Amy struggled to cope with rejection, disappointment, and that her sense of self-worth was all over the place,

they probably thought she would just grow out of it, like most teens do. But several forces intervened to create a situation which Amy would only sink deeper into her own troubles. The first was her junior year schedule. Amy arranged her classes so they filled periods 1 to 5, meaning her last class, English, ended at 11.41 a.m. Her parents didn't get home until 6, meaning Amy had no more than six or had more excuse me than six hours to spend by herself. Second factor was driving. Amy had been eager to learn how to drive for years, of course, often practicing in her father's 1987 tan Ford Suburban or mom's 1982 dark red Cadillac.

Shortly after she turned 16 in August 1990, Amy took her road test and passed. By October, she had her junior driver's license and shortly after started hounding her parents for a car. And then Elliot purchased her a Dodge Daytona at a used car dealership in Merrick and to make sure it was road worthy, he took it to Complete Auto Body just four miles from the Fisher home. There, he asked Joey a buttafuckface to check it out.

Joey Test drove it, peered under the hood, returned it to Elliot with his blessings. He had no idea that he would see that car and others owned by the Fisher family many more times in the near future. A few days later, Elliot gave the car to Amy. A month or so later, just before Christmas 1990, Elliot takes his wife's Cadillac to the body shop for Joey to do some repairs on it. And this time he brings Amy. And he introduced Amy to Joey the way he always did as the little princess. I Don't like it. Spoilers get rotten and introducing her as little princess. That's too much. That's a great way to end up with an entitled monster The two men chatted about what the Cadillac needed is Amy wandered the office reading inscriptions on Joey's trophies later She would tell a friend. She thought Joey was fat

He definitely a little thick. She didn't seem very impressed by him, but over the next few months something would change. Not long after her first meeting with Joey, Amy had a minor accident with a Dodge, damaging the driver's side mirror. She panicked. Her parents had told her not to be driving it when she was,

and she called Joey for help. And from this point on, the two would see each other frequently. Joey would maintain that Amy got in as many as 10 quote-unquote accidents as an excuse to keep bringing the car she damaged the shop to see him. The Fishers would claim that there was only one accident in August of 1991, three days after Amy's 17th birthday, and that Joey had billed the Fisher's insurance for a bunch of non-existent repairs. Which is something that he would get caught for many years

later. So maybe he did that. Whatever happened, Amy seemed to want to see Joey a ton. And before she turned 17, she told him that she wanted her car personalized with pink stripes and the name Amy, spelled A-I-M-E-E. She thought it was a cooler version of her own name, painted on the driver's door. Such a teen thing to do. I can see myself doing something similar and then being embarrassed a few years later. Something similar when I was that age.

Not now. That'd be so fucking weird. On the side of my Ford F-150 now, at this age, be like, yeah, just get Dan. Can you just spray-paint Dan? But like, spell it like fucking D-A-Y-N. Just on the door of my truck, please. During these meetings, at some point, Amy and Joey started flirting. Not sure who flirted with who first, not that it really matters. They teased each other, bantered lightly about sex.

Amy bragged about seeing a variety of young men, presumably to entice the 35-year-old Joey to make a move. She became a fixture at the auto body shop, wearing her trademark flimsy outfits. She got to know Joey's dad, Casper, his brother Bobby, and all the other mechanics in the garage. And that is fucking weird. Imagine that you're Casper, right? You're his dad. And you notice that this high school girl acting flirty, right? Dressing provocatively is constantly coming to your shop and hanging around your 35 year old married son.

You're not going to say something to him or her? And what if you notice your son flirting back? Dude, if that is my son, holy shit are we having a tough conversation. I see that shit one more time and you are fucking fired on the spot and I'll have no problem telling your wife why you were fired. Conversation. Taking care of your family is important.

Part of taking care of someone is holding them accountable when they're fucking up. Joey's fucking up. One afternoon at his dad and brother's shop, uh bought Amy a slice of pizza and a diet cola while another mechanic worked on the dodge and then he began taking her along when he ran errands for the shop. Why? How is no one taking him aside and saying some shit? I don't know maybe they were or maybe the other guys at the shop were also dirtbags. Amy now starts acting out when she's not at the garage. She cuts school a few times, starts hanging out with friends in nearby Levittown until

late. Her parents tried to enforce a curfew, but apparently Amy paid them no attention and they didn't get tough with her. And Levittown, by the way, random trivia, one of the very first planned suburbs in the US, became a model for the design of so many other suburbs around the nation following World War II. Anyway, now that Amy had a car and a junior license, she's out of the house more than ever. After three weeks of constantly arguing with her parents, one evening in early February of 1991, 16-year-old Amy Bolts drives to her aunt's house, spends the night there without telling her parents

where she'd gone. The Fisher's frantic had called the police, followed a missing persons report. Over the phone, a weary Elliot Fisher described his only child as totally uncontrollable. Following that night, Amy moved in with her grandmother for two weeks, giving the whole family a chance to cool off. Ironically, at one point during those two weeks, Elliot Fisher dropped by Joey's auto body shop to commiserate about his daughter's wild ways with the guy who was fucking his teen daughter March 1991 Amy seems to get her act together She begins going to school regularly again logging only two absences and Joey might not have been sleeping with her at this point

By the way, but very soon if not already But she's still showing up late almost every day in March of 1991. She ends up failing a class. Then by the spring of 1991 she's talking about moving out permanently. She approaches a classmate, Chris Drellos, who planned to rent a house with a few buddies. Asks if she could join in. She even gave him some money as a down payment. And she and Chris began to date casually. Then Amy and the much older man she'd been flirting with for months also hook up if they hadn't been hooking up already.

On the afternoon of July 2, 1991, Amy dropped off her Dodge, a complete auto body, and Joey offered to drive her home. It was just a 10 minute trip down the road, but Joey would be gone for nearly three hours. And again, what the fuck are his dad and brother doing? It was three hours because he and Amy had sex in her parents' house, in Amy's childhood bedroom with all her stuffed animals around. And evidently, they couldn't get enough of each other. Later that evening, around 8.30 p.m.,

Joey and Amy meet again, this time at the Freeport Motor Inn and Botel. Yes, Botel instead of motel. A tidy 61-room motel just a mile south of the Fisher's Stitch and Show shop. Stitch and so shop. It's kind of a tongue twister. At the front desk Joey asked the desk clerk for the short stay rate for four hours and paid the bill $45.36

in cash. Amy waited in the car parked and back. When Joey came out they went together into the room with the king-size bed. Following all this they would keep sleeping together. Joey would go to the Fisher's home almost daily. The balls on this piece of shit to not only be in a romantic relationship with a 16-year-old high schooler, but to be constantly fucking her in her parents' house. Seems like he got off on some uh taking some big risks thinking only with his dick here. Wasn't he at least a little worried about a neighbor seeing him, you know continuing to come by?

Well, they'd also sometimes head to some South Shore motels or even fucking the apartment directly above the complete Auto body shop where his dad and brother worked that his dad and brother owned after the shop closed for the day around 5 p.m They returned to the Freeport Freeport Motor Inn four times But they favored the Gateway Motel in Merrick. Two of the motel's managers there would later remember Joey from his visits. He chatted amiably as he filled out his registration card, always paid in cash. Apparently Joey didn't worry about getting caught, he printed his real name on the registration

cards, but he did write down his business address, 1025 Merrick Road, rather than list his home address 1025 Merrick Road rather than list his home address He went so often that the night manager started to simply fill out the card for Joey when he showed up Rather than have him walk all the way to the office to do it Meanwhile, Amy was attending summer school making up credits for the class. She'd failed at the end of July She got a job as a sales clerk at Jean country and Sunrise Mall in Massapiqua I don't think there's any gene countries in a while, but that sounds like such a mall store from the 90s Let's go to Gene Country

She lasted only a few weeks there because she regularly called in sick and showed up late because she was fucking Joey But a brain but a balls, but a fuckhead At least a couple of those sick days were spent on Joey's new 31-foot powerboat, Double Trouble. They'd stop at a little marina where people would see them, including some of Amy's friends from school, and Joey didn't seem to care. Such a dipshit. Boating was the thing that helped put his family back together after his coke addiction problems. He loved taking Mary Jo and the kids out on the same boat all the time, waving to other boaters, exploring new areas. Almost every Sunday, he would bring steaks to grill on board.

And yet Joey was letting Amy go tan on Double Trouble alone while he was working. Did he just want to get caught? Was he falling for a high schooler? Amy was definitely falling in love with him. Joey validated everything she thought about herself, which was special that she didn't need school, that her parents didn't understand her

He stroked her hair told her how beautiful and sexy she was and he spent money on her He took her out for expensive candlelit Italian dinners would buy her clothes and jewelry But not everything was perfect. Of course, it wasn't sometimes they fought Amy got upset when she felt like Joey Just wanted to have sex with her and nothing else Accused him only caring about because, yeah, that's true. She complained about him to her friends, but Joey would always make it up to her, send her flowers, you know, even send flowers to like a friend's house. Like, in the balls.

Beg her to come back. Speaking of friends, some of her friends, she didn't have many, but some of her few friends, like a blonde haired girl named Maria Morabito, very suspicious of this entire thing. They didn't like Joey. They thought he was scummy, Maria and others, because he was scummy. They tried to tell Amy that Joey was never going to leave his wife to be with her like he had said, but she said they were wrong. She believed that he actually loved her. And what about Amy's parents, Elliot and Roseanne Fisher? How did they not know about any of this? Well, they were not entirely oblivious to what was going on actually.

In early August 1991, about six weeks after the affair began, Amy's mother took her to a gynecologist. The young girl had been complaining of painful irritation. Well, the doctor gave a startling diagnosis. Mild case of chlamydia. Amy flustered told her parents that she had gotten it from a local mechanic they knew. Joey Budafuco. Elliot Fisher is enraged. He calls an assistant district attorney, James Clark, said his daughter

might be having an affair with a married man and he was thinking of pressing charges of statutory rape. Clark said he could file a complaint or contact the local police precinct. But Joey never did either. Seemingly thinking that if he tried to actually parent his daughter for the first fucking time, she would simply leave again. Or was he hiding something? Did he ultimately not want to go to the police because he was worried about Amy what she might say about him? That's what some people think. Not many, though. Totally speculating here.

But it makes me wonder. Meanwhile, Amy went to the repair shop and told Joey she said her parents were very upset and called the police and he, not surprisingly, panics. Hell yeah, he panics. He knew how this affair, this illegal affair with a minor could ruin his life. Well, he immediately calls the Fisher home, tells Amy's mother he wants to come over and explain that night. Does that decision surprise you? Surprised the hell out of me when I first heard it.

Few hours later, Joey Budafuco is standing in the Fisher's living room, insisting that nothing, absolutely nothing is going on between him and Amy. In the beginning, Elliot Fisher was suspicious, didn't believe him, said, you better not be going near my daughter. But Joey was so convincing, saying all the right things, you know, oh, Amy was, oh, she's way too young. Oh my gosh, I have a wife and kids. I would never put my family in that kind of situation. And in front of her parents, Amy now recants, says she lied, that it hadn't been Joey after all, with somebody else. Elliot and Roseanne get so embarrassed they actually apologize to Joey. So did Joey

give her an STD? STI? Well, it's unclear. It actually could have been someone else. Around the end of that summer, Amy began working for an escort service called ABBA. ABBA would later allege that Joey introduced her to ABBA, which he denied. In the fall when Amy began her senior year, her classmates noticed something new that she was wearing a beeper at all times. Periodically, it would go off during class. The beeper itself was not novel amongst John F. Kennedy students. Many of the young people carried them to keep in touch with friends. In Amy's case, the beeper was to get in touch with clients. But was she actually a sex worker or was this

another one of Amy's lies? Well seems like she was telling the truth. Confirmation would seemingly come from a man named Peter DeRosa when after her arrest the chunky 29 year old salesman would tell Fox networks a current affair that he had a homemade videotape of him and Amy having sex. He said he had hired her as an escort. DeRosa sold his interview and the tape for $8,000 saying he had paid Amy $185 for their first sexual encounter. They'd had three dates in total, though their second date cost $100 and their third $150.

It was the second date that he'd filmed, setting the camera up secretly from his bedroom closet. Fuckin' creep. In the video, Amy is pictured sitting on the edge of his bed as DeRosa helps pull off her jeans clad in only a skimpy white unitard. Amy giggles, lies back, crisscrosses her legs. She bounces up and falls back again as DeRosa sheds his boxer shorts. He joins her in bed. The camera catches several minutes of their arms and legs flailing.

Amy's heard asking DeRosa to turn out the light. He does, reaching for a lamp switch on the nightstand next to a bottle of baby oil. For the next seven minutes there's darkness. In the background you can hear Aerosmiths back in the saddle again from a CD player. And at one point Amy says, that's great lover. Well before airing this tape, or a little, you know, censored portion of it, a current affair, would show the tape to six seniors to confirm that it was Amy. Six fellow classmates.

The students apparently did confirm it was her. In the fall of 1991, she would continue seeing clients dispatched by Abbott's manager, a woman named Lorraine Wetzberg. She had about 10 steady customers, most of them older professionals, doctors, and lawyers from the south shore of Long Island. Gross. This escort service would claim that Amy gave them a fake ID to get work with them and that their escorts you know, would only go on dates with clients.

Dates were sex never promised. Mm-hmm. Despite her new vocation, Amy is still planning a life with Joey. She told friends that Joey said he could help her get a job as a nude dancer at Goldfinger's, a strip bar in Queens. Amy claimed he had told her he had connections and that she could earn up to $500 a night. But there was one problem. Mary Jo Budafuco. Rather than try to hide his wife, Joey seemed to be a man entirely without shame.

Joey would talk about her frequently. Pictures of her and the kids hung prominently at the repair shop. Together they were a popular couple around town. At Biltmore Shores beach club parties, every summer Joey and Mary Jo would head the conga line, dance the cha cha. They would shop together out, holding hands, waving to different store owners around town, chatting people up.

Joey just another sociopath. Another master of compartmentalization. On holidays they would join their families at mass at St. Rose of Lima, about a mile away, the church they got married in. Almost every month it seemed a family event would bring their extended family together, a communion, a birthday, an anniversary, a graduation. The Badufukos never missed a single one. Joey made no secret of how beautifully

found his wife and that began to drive Amy crazy. She also learned that Mary Jo had caught him apparently having two previous affairs and told him after the second that if he had another one she was gone. And yet here he was indulging in that third affair. She wondered did he actually want to be married to her or not? Without any answers from her lover Amy turned to her friends. She would show friends pictures of Mrs. Badufuco including one of a young Mary Jo. Would ask them did they think Mary Jo was prettier than her? They always of course told her that she was the prettiest.

So much drama and security and dysfunction here. Then just after Thanksgiving in 1991, shots were fired into the Buddafuckos living room, shattering a window. This is not a neighborhood where drive-by shootings, other random shootings happened. Mary Jo called the police, but they never found out what happened. Amy never confessed to doing this, but come on, if she didn't do it or have someone do it I would be shocked. Early December of 1991 Amy gives Joey an ultimatum. Divorce your wife, marry Joe or this affair is over. Do you want to guess what he chose? According to Joey he told Amy flat out that they should not see each other anymore and she was

stunned. She seemed to honestly think that her ultimatum would give her exactly what she wanted. For a few days Joey and Amy did not speak but then Amy began to call him upset. Told him she regretted her demand just wanted to make up. But Amy soon realized the damage had been done now. Joey was backing off. He began to tell her that with Christmas approaching he needed to spend more time with his kids. So was Joey finally doing the right thing and breaking it off? No no no no No, he continued to have sex with her of course because he's a horny idiot in a dirt bag. They continued to hook up throughout the winter into the spring but emotionally everything had changed. Joey

would call less frequently. When they would get together he would not stay as long after sex. Amy now tried to move on. She joined a gym, albeit one that Joey had recommended. Made an appointment with one of the gym's personal trainers, a guy named Paul Makeley. From their very first meeting, Amy and Paul clicked. Despite their 12-year age difference, Paul almost 30, they quickly became buddies. Once again, the teenager had found an older man to give her approval and make her feel special. Also, Paul is single. Amy starts working out several afternoons a week. During the day, she works out.

In the evening, she'll come back to the gym, hang out in Paul's office. And one evening, she spills her guts about Joey. She tells Paul about the whole relationship almost. She said they stopped short of sex, but Paul knew she was lying. He also knew she had mysterious amounts of cash and guessed that she was working as an escort.

But his close attention seemed to backfire. Soon Amy confessed now that she was in love with him. Instead of leading her on, he suggested they get some space, but Amy kept showing up at the gym, buying them lunch, little gifts. One point she bought him a new transmission for his 1981 turquoise Corvette to the tune of $1400. And he accepted that gift which was fucked up. She wrote him a long letter telling him she had never felt so close to anyone before meeting him. to tune to $1,400 and he accepted that gift which is fucked up.

She wrote him a long letter telling him she had never felt so close to anyone before meeting him. On Valentine's Day she sent him not one, not two, but three cards. But did she mean it or is she just trying to make Joey jealous? Well, Paul noticed that Joey frequently called Amy's beeper when she was at the gym. Still, before long, now Paul and Amy are having sex. Of course they are Everyone in the story is allergic to making good decisions

Sometimes you actually drop by the Fisher's house to have sex with a high school girl there another fucking moron in this story. I Guess I guess at least she's 17 and legal but it's still gross Usually they waited until the gym had closed for the night, but then Amy's father Elliot intervened He found out started to call frequently to express his displeasure with the relationship between the 29-year-old man and his 17-year-old daughter. And soon Amy would threaten to move out again. Also in February, two Molotov cocktail type devices were found burning in the street in front of the Budafuckos house. Is Mary Jo getting at least a little suspicious? Is she wondering what her cokehead chronically unfaithful husband has done now? Just like before, with the shots, the police don't turn up anything.

If Amy was responsible, she was trying her best not to seem like the person who did it. Like she was not spiraling. She went on a trip with Paul to his cottage in Vermont, where they walked hand in hand, planned to come back the next winter to ski. Man, she's also still seeing Joey. In March, just two months before the shooting, Joey gives Amy what would soon become a notorious gift a white complete autobody t-shirt. Amy would slip it over her clothes it hung down almost to her knees she was delighted she would even wear it to school and that is so sad to

me she is so desperate for approval and attention from older men and again I do wonder like if her dad didn't do something to her, that tile guy something, was that assault? Did it send her on a very different trajectory? I don't know, make some horrible new connection in her brain. Sometime in early May of 1992 Amy meets yet another man, a guy named Peter Gouagenti. This dipshit, only 21. They met with one of Amy's friends wanted to visit her boyfriend who lived in Brooklyn. The group then strolled over to a Greek festival at a nearby church where under the elevated subway line on 86th Street she started talking to Peter, a part-time auto salesman who dreamed of being a doctor someday.

At that very first meeting, Amy would tell Peter that she wanted a gun. She said she would pay him $800 if she could get one for her. And before finding out what she does with the gun, even though we know what she's going to do with it, time for today's second of two mid-show sponsor breaks. Thank you for listening to the sponsors. And now let's head to May 19, 1992 on Long Island when Amy has got a gun. Early on Tuesday, May 19, 1992, Peter Guaginti calls Amy's beeper and punches in his phone number. She calls back once Peter tells her he has the gun, same automatic.25 caliber Titan, one of the cheapest little pocket guns on the market at that time.

They agreed to meet at the Fisher home. At 11 a.m. Amy gave him directions to Berkeley Lane in Merrick and hung up the phone. Then Amy got in her car and went to school. She soon convinced a classmate named Josh to cut class with her. While they were driving, Amy suggested cruising by Adam Road West. Josh agreed. Amy paid careful attention to each house as they passed, including the Buddafuckos home. Then abruptly, Amy suggested, let's go back to school.

While Josh went to class, Amy went to the nurse, saying she didn't feel well and needed to go home. The nurse called her parents who gave their approval and Amy headed out. Peter Gugentti was already waiting in front of the Fisher home when Amy turned down Berkeley Lane. She pulled into the driveway, got out, climbed into his Thunderbird, handed him the money, he handed her the gun. Fascinated Amy just kind of like you know fingered the gun in her lap for a little bit and she gave Peter directions for where to drive next. Drive the two of them to north north to Merrick Road, turn right, then head

straight for about six miles to Massapequa, a right turn on Bayview Avenue and on to Adam Road West. It was a route she knew very well. Once they got to the split level house next to South Oyster Bay, Amy tucked her auburn hair into a baseball cap, told Peter to wait in the car for her to return. Meanwhile, just after 11.30 a.m., Mary Jo Budafuqua was outside in her back porch, painting some furniture when the doorbell rang. She was surprised to see a teenage girl in loose-fitting pants and an oversized t-shirt on her front porch.

Even more surprised when the teen said that Joey was sleeping with her 16 year old sister. Mary Jo was taken aback, but she did not believe the teenager because Mary Jo was a fucking ninja, just a master when it came to cognitive dissonance. She's very good at just believing what she wanted to believe. Mostly Mary Jo was confused. The girl stood there staring at Mary Jo with an intensity that was disconcerting. She asked Amy her name. Anne Marie, lied Amy. Mary Jo asked where she lived. Over in Bar Harbor, Amy replied, waving her hand in the direction of her supposed house,

but she waved the wrong direction. And Mary Jo said, Honey, Bar Harbor is in the opposite direction. What's this about? Where do you really live? Amy didn't answer now. Trying to figure out exactly what the fuck is going on, and Mary Jo points at the car now. Who's that with you in the car? My boyfriend, answered Amy. Mary Jo had had enough of this by now, and she just asked Amy to leave. Amy now said she could prove Joey was having an affair, in the form of a

complete autobody t-shirt, which she brandished at Mary Jo. She said she had found it in her sister's bed, which was proof for her that they were sleeping together, and Joey had left his shirt behind. And Mary Jo just shrugged. She told Amy that Joey would give those shirts to lots of people. Also, she said that was a weird story. She asked Amy if she was implying that Joey simply went back to work without a shirt. She said she was going to call Joey now and turn to the door. Amy did not expect Mary Jo to react this way to what she'd just been told. She wanted tears, hysterics. She wanted to hear Mary Jo say,

Oh my God, that bastard, I'm leaving him. Enough is enough. But instead, it just kind of got more of like, eh, just more of a shrug. Withdrawing the automatic pistol hidden deep inside her pockets now, or pants pocket, Amy raised it to eye level, pointed it at Mary Jo's right temple, and pulled the trigger. The bullet entered Mary Jo Budafuko and pulled the trigger. The bullet entered Mary Jo Budafuco's head just above her right ear, shattered her jaw, severed the carotid artery, ripped through her eardrum, came to rest at the base of her brain behind her right ear just an inch from her spinal column. She fell to the

pavement, blood streaming from her head, dazed. Amy stood over her victim. Police would later believe that Amy tried to shoot again but didn't know how to use the gun. Panicked, she broke the ejector off the gun then threw it into the flower garden below. Also reached down, grabbed the t-shirt still clasped in Mary Jo's hands. She ran to the waiting Thunderbird and she and Peter sped off. Backing up a few seconds, diagonally across Adam Road West, retired cop Joseph Slattery was sunbathing on his front desk. Front desk? retired cop Joseph Slattery was sunbathing on his front desk. Front desk? That's a weird visual.

He's got a desk out in front of his house. And what he always dreamed of doing once he was retired, he's like, you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna put a fucking desk on my lawn. Just a nice, like a school desk. And I'm gonna get down to my skin, my little skivvies. You know, I'm gonna get down to a nice little speedo. And I'm just gonna like, I'm just gonna lay on that desk,

which is tough, because it's very small. And I'm just gonna try to balance on that desk and work on my core strength while also catching some of the Sun's glorious rays No, he was sunbathing on his front deck When he heard the gunshot he got up bit unsteady in the heat Seconds later his wife Josephine stepped out onto the porch saw that Joseph was already off hurrying around the corner cutting across the grass From about 40 yards away. He saw Mary Jo,tafuko yelled at Josephine to call 911. Josephine called the police. Then she called Joey a complete auto body. Meanwhile, her husband Joseph dropped to the ground, spotting the bullet-sized

hole in Mary Jo's head. He held a compress against the wound, listened for a heartbeat. There was a heartbeat. She was not dead. Other residents were now pouring out of their homes and out of the Biltmore Shores Beach Club next door to the Botafucos. Down the road an ambulance and a squadron of police cars were speeding to the house, arriving shortly before noon. They found Mary Jo completely unresponsive but not dead. The emergency team radioed for a police helicopter.

Soon the helicopter landed on the beach next door. Paramedics stabilized Mary Jo's blood pressure, loaded her onto the helicopter landed on the beach next door. Paramedics stabilized Mary Jo's blood pressure, loaded her onto the helicopter just as Joey and his brother Bobby arrived. Immediately Joey sprinted for the helicopter. Police officers and Bobby tackled him trying to pull them away from the dangerously spinning blades above. Joey and Bobby watched as the helicopter floated up now. Meanwhile Caspar Botafuco, back a complete auto body, called Pat and Francis Connery, Mary Jo's parents. Along with Mary Jo's 27 year old sister Ellen, they all soon departed for Nassau County Medical Center in nearby East Meadow. At the hospital when they arrived,

a Catholic cleric stood near Mary Jo, ready to offer last rites. Doctors were determined not to let Mary Jo die though. They gave her a blood transfusion and an MRI, trying to see where the bullet had lodged and what damage it had done. Shortly before 3 p.m a neurosurgeon informed the family that Mary Jo needed immediate surgery. The bullet might be too dangerous to remove but the medical team hoped to at least repair the carotid artery and examine the base of her brain. It was a straightforward if terrible choice. If they didn't do it she'd be dead but there was no guarantee that she would ever wake up from the surgery, and even if she did, she might be paralyzed for life or severely brain damaged. Joey Budafuco quickly signed the paperwork.

Then he and the rest of Mary Jo's family nervously waited. And what was Amy now doing? Well, she was sneak over to the hospital and while fucking Joey Budafuco is waiting for his wife to get out of, you know, see if she's gonna live or not, he meets her in the bathroom down the hall and she gives him a blowjob No, that's a little bit too crazy for this story, but just on the edge of too crazy now What is she doing now? Let's back up when she climbed into the maroon Thunderbird it tore out of Biltmore shores on to Merrick Road and headed west Peter was fucking terrified He had not signed up for this

I don't know what he thought was gonna happen But apparently he didn't think this was gonna happen Amy's jeans and t-shirt had a lot of Mary Jo's blood on them. The Thunderbird tore down Hewlett Avenue, made a sharp left on Berkeley Lane. Amy got out of the car, hurried up to walk, still clutching the white, complete, autobody t-shirt. Peter Guglielgente speeds off to Brooklyn.

Peter Guglielgente, spaghetti mazzarare, bagate antono mandares! I had to get that out of my system. Wasn't even planning for it. As Amy fumbled with her keys at the door, her puppy Muffin greeted her arrival with excitement, barking wildly. Amy didn't have time for Muffin. Fuck off, Muffin!

She changed her clothes, quickly hurried to her car. She then dropped in on a friend who worked as a hairdresser nearby, chatted for a while. She was trying to establish an alibi. Then drove to Nassau County Community College, where she was planning on studying on studying marketing registered for the fall semester like everything's just going as planned. No one, not even her parents, would notice any difference in her behavior that day. Maybe she's a sociopath too. Meanwhile the Budafuccos and Connerys waited all night in the hospital. Just past 10 p.m. the neurosurgeons emerged from more than seven straight hours of surgery

and things at this point are not looking good. They'd managed to control the bleeding by tying off the carotid artery, but Mary Jo had suffered a mild stroke during surgery and as they'd feared the bullet proved too dangerous to remove. However, Mary Jo Budafuco would surprise everyone at 3 a.m. Just a few hours after surgery she'd start to moan fighting off the effects of anesthesia. A nurse stationed in a room hurried to her side. Mary Jo tried to talk but couldn't. She had a tube down her throat connected to a respirator.

But she did motion for a pen and a yellow pad hanging on a chart next to her bed. The nurse brought those to her, placed the pen between her fingers. Was I shot? Mary Jo was able to write. Yes, replied the nurse. Why? Mary Jo wrote, before suddenly drifting back to sleep. Yeah replied the nurse. Why? Mary Jo wrote before suddenly drifting back to sleep. Yeah good question. An hour later Joey entered his wife's room. He'd been checking on her repeatedly

throughout the night. He noticed the pad and with the nurse's help gently roused his wife asked Mary Jo who did this to her. Slowly Mary Jo wrote a 19 year old girl. Joey frowned. A girl shot you? Are you sure it wasn't a guy? But when Mary Jo wrote the same line again, Joey asked if she knew the girl's name. Mary Jo picked up the pen and wrote Anne Marie. Joey asked where the girl lived and Mary Jo wrote Dolphin Court. Then she was too tired to answer any more questions and closed her eyes again. She hadn't looked at Joey with any trace of suspicion, but Joey must have felt that all

eyes were on him. Despite the wrong name, he knew exactly who she was talking about. Choosing to pretend as though he didn't, however, he called the police and told them that Mary Jo had said a young girl shot him. 5 p.m. May 20, 1992. Now, the day after she'd been shot, detectives questioned Mary Jo. Incredible that she's able to be questioned the day after this. Doctors had already removed her from the respirator, but it had definitely taken a toll on her voice. She answered questions in a deep, guttural tone, almost unrecognizable from her regular voice.

But she was able to describe the Auburn haired girl with the t-shirt and the confrontation on the stoop. Joey, the detectives, Bobby, his brother stood by listening. I'm sure a lot of sweat is going down Butterfucko's butt crack. What happened next? Somewhat open for debate. The detectives would say that Joey Buttafucco broke down in tears. Admitted he knew who had shot his wife, Amy Fisher, the teenage girl he'd been having an affair with for almost a year. Joey would later try and say this wasn't true though, that he never told the police he had

sex with Amy Fisher. Instead he'd later claim he knew because he'd only given away one white complete autobody t-shirt. Uh-huh. And he would say he knew Amy casually from business only given away one white complete autobody t-shirt. Uh-huh. And he would say he knew Amy casually from business, you know, at the autobody shop. Nothing more. Yeah, I'm gonna believe the detectives on this one. Regardless, detectives now had the work cut out for them.

They tracked down a photograph of Amy, which Mary Jo immediately positively identified as her assailant. Amy, meanwhile, she had spent a normal morning at school. Other seniors were buzzing happily about prom night, post-grad plans. Amy had other more short-term plans. At 6 p.m., she went to the gym with a friend to visit Paul. Paul noticed something about Amy looked different when he asked. She said she had some stomach problems and was on her period.

They were then interrupted as they talked by the gym's desk manager, who had with him a copy of the Long Island newspaper Newsday, open to a story about the shooting of Mary Jo Budafuco. Looking at Amy's face, Paul would later say he wondered right then and there for a split second if she was the one responsible before he brushed it aside. May 21st, 1992, two days after the shooting, Amy goes to school again just like normal. Mary Jo was removed from intensive care that day against the odds. She had made it. Amy hadn't talked to Joey for a few days now, so she was surprised when, late that afternoon, she gets a page from him. He used their secret code, 007, totally, because he's a regular James Bond stud. Amy calls him back immediately, not knowing Joey was not the only

person on the line. Detectives from Homicide Division were also listing in. The conversation, however, was not that illuminating. Amy said she'd heard the mafia was responsible for the shooting. Joey asked if they could meet up. She said no. Minutes after the call, Amy heads out, telling her parents she's going for a jog in nearby Long Beach, along the boardwalk. She has no idea detectives are waiting for her down the block from her house on Berkeley

Lane, just a few hundred yards away. Amy slips behind the wheel of the LeBaron, deftly pulls off her jogging outfit underneath she wore faded blue shorts, a white t-shirt. She headed north to Merrick Road seemingly just to clear her head. A police car followed her for about a mile then lights started to flash and they pulled her over. It was 6 50 p.m. Thursday, May 21st 52 hours after the shooting of Mary Jo Budafuco and she is arrested. With the defiant expression on her face, 17-year-old Amy Fisher is taken to police headquarters in Minn-i-Ola for questioning and instead of asking for a lawyer, she makes things super easy for detectives. She does not deny shooting Mary Jo. At first, Amy insisted

that the shooting was an accident, that she'd meant to confront Mary Jo but not kill her. But the police poke holes in that theory pretty easily. Why on earth would she have brought a loaded handgun if she didn't intend to use it? Amy insisted, oh I only meant to hit Mary Jo with the gun. That the gun then fired by accident. Uh-huh, then why was it loaded? In the end detectives emerged from a night-long interrogation of Amy Fisher with a 10-page handwritten statement Excerpts were promptly leaked to the press. I showed her the shirt Joey had given me, Amy wrote.

I felt she didn't believe me and she kept asking me questions like where I lived, who I was with. At this time I felt like she was dismissing me and didn't care about what I was saying. I saw her turn to go back in the house at which time I took the gun out of my pocket and I hit her on the back of her head. I saw her stumble. I had my finger on the trigger. I went to hit her again because I was so angry. I then raised the gun again and it went off. I heard a pop sound, saw blood coming out of her head. Even if she wasn't telling the truth, it was good enough. Police now led Amy to a holding cell and locked her in.

A few miles away, Elliot and Roseanne Fisher are frantic. They hadn't heard from their daughter all night. Where the hell is she? Every few hours, Elliot's calling the police, only to hang up frustrated. He wants officers to canvas the streets of Merrick and Long Beach where Amy had said she would be jogging. Officers listened patiently, advised him to wait a few more hours. Amy, he was reminded, had run away in the past.

Give it some time. He'll probably hear from her soon. At 5 a.m., Elliot Fisher files a missing persons report. At 6.30, he goes to the gym to look for Paul. Paul's not there, but the manager connects him to Paul. Paul reports Amy's not with him. I don't know where she is. Now Elliot is crushed. If Amy is not with Paul, where the hell is she? Is she dead?

At 9 a.m., the phone rings and Roseanne grabs it. On the first ring is Detective Sergeant Daniel Severin informing her that her daughter is being held at the police station in connection with an attempted murder. That morning, police had taken her mugshot, confiscated her beeper, cut a few strands of her hair for some testing, and gotten ink impressions of her feet and fingerprints. The Fishers immediately called Christine Edwards Newman, the attorney they had used when Amy was assaulted her sophomore year by that upperclassman. When she called the police station, they informed her that they were taking a videotaped confession. She wouldn't see Amy until 3 that afternoon,

when the 17-year-old girl was first brought to District Court in Hempstead in handcuffs, said to be arraigned on charges of attempted murder, criminal use of a firearm, two counts of assault, and two counts of criminal possession of a weapon. Earlier that afternoon, a public information officer from police headquarters would call the Nassau County Courthouse press room for information, and they would get the first inklings of what was to become a media sensation. And now let's talk about the media real quick here. The shooting of Mary Jo Budafuco didn't make the news for four days in New York City.

And even then, it received only meager attention. Just like barely anything. But slowly over the next few weeks, the secret life of Amy Fisher ignited a firestorm of interest. Daily revelations began appearing on the front pages of the city's tabloids. The story was now just so dirty, so juicy. The media interest was partially spurned on by the police, who immediately and somewhat accurately labeled the incident

a case of fatal attraction. The log line for the story was essentially, infatuated with Joey Budafuco, Amy Fisher had jealously tried to kill Mary Jo after Joey attempted to end the affair. "'She wanted him and he didn't want her,' Sergeant Daniel Severin said at a press conference. If she couldn't have him, no one else could.

She was obsessed with him. It was a near-fatal attraction. The media latched on to this narrative excitedly. By the time Amy appeared in court, a whole bunch of media members were waiting outside in full force, brandishing cameras and microphones. Going into the courthouse, Amy ducked, her hair spilling across her face. The image of her in skimpy shorts and a t-shirt would play across televisions for months, occasionally in slow motion, accompanied by her new moniker, the Long Island Lolita. Right? Just had a nice ring to it for a lot of people.

Inside the courtroom, Amy sat in the corner of the detention area, weeping. Her case was the last to be called on for the day. In the near empty courtroom, her parents, Rose and Elliot, sat together in bewilderment as Amy's attorney, Edwards Newman asked the judge for a few moments to talk to Amy, her client. They met in the corner of the courtroom, talked in hushed voices. A few minutes later, Amy stood motionless before District Court Judge Bruce Alpert. It had been almost 24 hours since police had pulled over her car on Merrick Road. Since then, she had barely slept, hadn't eaten at all. She listened as Assistant District Attorney Fred Klein explained her fate. Your Honor, we have a very strong case, he said. We can prove she purchased the

gun, was driven to that location, rang the doorbell, and with a 25 caliber automatic handgun shot the victim and left her on the doorstep to die. She then disposed of the gun and clothing that was bloody and attempted an alibi. Yeah, doesn't look good. Attorney Edwards Newman, trying to do what she could, pointing out that Amy had never been in trouble with the law before, that her parents were local business owners who would keep a close eye on their daughter, etc. But none of that would matter with the charges serious. Klein was determined to keep Amy in jail. He had a copy of the missing persons report that Elliott had filed that night that went to her aunt's house a year before when she went jail. He had a copy of the missing persons report that Elliott had filed that night,

or excuse me, the night that went to her aunt's house a year before when she went there. He showed it as proof that her own family couldn't keep her in line. Judge Alpert ordered that Amy be held without bail, but granted Edwards Newman's request for protective custody. Without a backwards glance, Amy Fisher was now removed to the youth tier of the women's cell block

in Long Island's Nassau County Correctional Facility in East Meadow, where she would live in a 6' x 8' cell. Next morning, May 23rd, detectives would interview Paul, the guy at the gym who also, like Joey, should have never been fucking around with Amy. They soon came to believe he had nothing to do with the shooting. Meanwhile, Christine Edwards Newman was eager to help Amy, but she knew she'd have to get an expert in criminal law involved. She called Eric W. Nyberg, smooth-talking, expensive Suffolk County attorney. Amy's parents would drive upstate to meet him. He told him about

his most prominent case in which he had represented James Triano, an 18-year-old accused of the satanic cult murder of a Long Island teenager in 1985. After Nyberg had won an acquittal for that client, no case seemed too complex for him. The Fishers hoped he could work the same magic here. Nyberg's first mission was to get Amy out on bail so he could have her examined by a psychologist. He also needed to hire ballistics experts and investigators to reconstruct the timeline of the affair. The Fishers agreed to everything, even though it ended up leading them to have to close Stitch and Sew just six weeks later. Damn. Right, so expensive, they returned home to a street covered in vans full of reporters and camera crews,

which they strongly avoided. Nyberg told him that they would have to use the media to their advantage though, to counter the story that Amy was a hypersexual wild child. Roseanne would talk to a reporter from Newsday and say, She is a teenager and she has the normal ups and downs of a teenager. And she's breaking down in tears as she's saying this. She was always respectful to us. No, she wasn't. When we told her to call, she called. If there were rules regarding something, she obeyed them. She is the light of our lives. She is everything to us. Yeah, that was a bunch of bullshit. Our hearts go out to Mrs. Budafuco and her children, she added, carefully

omitting Joey, and she was clear about the toll the media had taken on her and her husband's lives. Words cannot describe this nightmare, she said quietly. Our friends and families can't come to our home because we are besieged by reporters. We can't go to their homes because reporters follow us everywhere. We can't let our dog into the backyard because they have opened our gates and moved our garbage cans. We are afraid to go into one of the neighborhood supermarkets or get a prescription at a drugstore because our name or address has been plastered everywhere. We have to keep our shades drawn all the time. Last night a TV crew tailed me so closely in my car that if I had stopped short, they would have hit me.

We feel like we've brought a plague over our entire neighborhood. Our lives have been shattered. I do actually feel bad for them. Our lives have been shattered. I do actually feel bad for them. Maybe or maybe not. I mean, they obviously didn't encourage Amy to go fuck Joey and they didn't shoot Mary Jo, but did they really make much of an effort to rein Amy in when she started to act out? Doesn't seem like they did. How responsible are they for the person their daughter turned into?

Working as a sexual escort in high school, missing classes all the time, continually disobeying them, but never getting any real trouble, never getting their car taken away, never getting their pager taken away. No other major punishments that I'm aware of. Knowing that their daughter is fucking, or very likely fucking, at least two much older men still letting her run wild. Well, Amy's case is obviously extreme. What did they think was gonna happen if they just continually indulged and never punished their little princess, their increasingly disrespectful and out of control child? Week after Amy's arrest, the case went to 23,

a 23 member grand jury sit in Nassau County Court in Mineola. The jury heard testimony from the school nurse from Roseanne Fisher from Josh, the classmate who took Amy for a drive the morning she shot Mary Jo, and from Amy's hairdresser friend. But the most riveting testimony came from Mary Jo Budafuco herself. In a heartbreaking videotaped interview with Assistant District Attorney Fred Klein, Mary Jo, from her hospital bed, sluggishly described her assault. The sight of Mary Jo heavily drugged, her head bandaged, but still despite everything alive, was the nail in Amy's coffin. The jury indicated that there was easily enough evidence to go to trial and Amy Fisher was indicted. Shortly after the indictment,

Nyberg told the Fishers that word of Amy's prostitution was about to break in the media now. The Fishers would suffer even more that week. But would they be able to bring their daughter home? On Tuesday, June 2nd, 1992, Amy was brought for a bail hearing to judge Marvin Goodman's courtroom on the third floor of the Nassau County Criminal Court. It was not a good time for the hearing. The night before, a current affair had just broadcast its quote-unquote Lolita tapes. Now portraying Amy Fisher as a frightened high school student in need of her parents' support, not gonna

be an easy sell. By 9 15 a.m. all the seats in the room were full. Amy entered the courtroom from the back door, her hands cuffed behind her. She wore dark pants and a black and white print shirt and she pled not guilty. Then it was time for Nyberg to give everyone an alternate perspective that Amy was a shy, scared child, made distraught by matters far beyond her understanding. Amy, argued Nyberg, had never been in trouble with the law before. Born and raised in Nassau County, Amy Fisher had strong roots in the community, her entire family, her parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, all Long Island residents. She had no opportunity to flee, no money to assist her.

Then he pointed at the fishers. They will assure this court by word and deed that Amy will return when this court mandates it. I stand here authorized to say to this court that they are willing to put everything they have, everything they own on the line. At home, he argued, she could study for her exams, improve her mental health, assist in her own defense. He asked Judge Goodman to set a $50,000 bail. Now it was Assistant District Attorney Fred Klein's turn. Once again, he reminded the court

that Amy had run away from home before, to her aunts, but still. He described how callously Amy had shot Mary Jo Budafuco, blatantly trying to kill her, condemning her to a lifetime of mental and physical anguish. One might describe his defendant as a 17-year-old girl who lives home with her parents and goes to school, he said. That would be about as accurate, Your Honor, as describing John Gotti as a businessman from New York City. That's a pretty damn good analogy. Nyberg attempted to refute some of Klein's charges, but it was too late.

Judge Goodman had made up his mind. He granted the prosecution's request, setting Amy Fisher's bail at not $50,000, but at $2 million, the highest in the history of Nassau County, Long Island. This was shocking to everybody, except those who knew Judge Marvin Goodman well. He was notoriously tough on the defense. Nyberg planned to appeal it right away, but for the moment, Amy had to return to jail. And then leaving the courtroom, Nyberg pulled a new trick out of his sleeve,

his last trump card, Joey Buttifuco. He announced, Mr. Buttifuco's involvement is much deeper than the DA is letting you know. He's talking to reporters gathered on the courthouse steps. Mr. Buttifuco was the individual that got Amy Fisher involved with ABBA Escort Service. This man is someone who used and abused her. I have personal knowledge he is nothing more than what I have alleged. He should be brought to task for this someday. We are not

painting Amy as a pure innocent little girl. She has a tremendous amount of problems. Mr. Buddafucko is on the top of that list. He's the pimp who put her in this damn business. He abused this young child. Yeah, well fucking played. Even if this dude didn't put her in touch with Abba, he might as well have. He is a fucking dirtbag who put his family in danger chasing his dick around town. This is not the only affair that blew up in someone's face. Pun kind of intended. Following the bail hearing, two young men stepped into the media blitz now to share

their stories. One is Christopher Drellos, 19 year old former classmate of Amy's from Kennedy High School who she dated briefly the spring before her affair with Joey. Chris had been a senior at Kennedy when Amy was a sophomore, although he transferred eventually graduated from Calhoun High School in 1990. He and Amy had remained friends. Chris first learned about Amy's affair with Joey Budafuco in August 1991, about two months after it started. Chris and Amy had stopped by the auto body shop for Chris to get some work done on his car. When he looked around Amy and Joey were nowhere to be found. Later Amy told him that Joey was her boyfriend and that they had great sex. Chris said he didn't think much of

it, if that was what Amy wanted, whatever. But another August afternoon Amy asked Chris to get her a gun. Amy explained her reason matter-of-factly. The only way she could have Joey to herself was to get rid of his wife. Chris claimed to be the first person Amy ever spoke to about killing Mary Jo Budafuco, and that she kept pestering him, he said, but he wouldn't give a gun to her. And then he said that he introduced her to his buddy, Stephen Sleeman, who owned a lot of guns, hoping that she would start bugging him instead and it worked. Stephen would later say to the media that Amy had asked him to kill Mary

Jo directly and Stephen agreed because in his words, I was looking to get laid. I really never thought she was serious. Apparently sex was part of the offer in exchange for murder. To make her think he was serious he said almost every day for an indeterminate period of time he would stalk Mary Jo Budafuco. And that Amy expected a full report at the end of each day. What time did Mary Jo go shopping? When did she return? Did anyone visit? But by the end of October, Amy had had enough of installing. He'd had plenty of time to plan the murder, but didn't. Time to put it into action. So on November 1, 1991, she practically pulled him out of bed, telling him to grab his rifle. Once she got into his car, she began to outline the plan.

She would ring the doorbell, say she was a student from Massapequa High School selling candy for charity. When Mrs. Budafuco stepped outside to buy the candy, Steven Sleeman, hiding at the side of the house, would step forward and snipe her. Steven said he didn't want to do it, but they were already on their way, turning onto Adam Road West. Amy hopped out of the car, stole up to the driveway, candy in hand. She rang the doorbell.

Mary Jo came out, said the kids had plenty of candy. From Halloween, it was literally the day before. But Amy insisted, so Mary Jo went to get her purse. And meanwhile, Stephen ran away. Good decision. Amy later yelled at him, called him a chicken shit. He revealed that the gun wasn't even loaded that he brought. She continued to berate him over the phone, telling him that she would get people to beat

him up. He said the last time he'd heard from her was May 16th, just three days before the shooting. When news of this arrangement broke, reporters were delighted. New headlines now read, paid me in sex, and Amy's horny hitman. Amy's story just kept getting juicier. And Nassau County District Attorney Dennis Dillon was getting pissed. He now had to contend with the fact that it was very possible that someone on his staff was talking to the press, which meant his prosecution of

Amy Fisher could be in jeopardy. Also in jeopardy because Eric Nyberg was starting loudly and relentlessly to demand that Joey Budafuco be charged with statutory rape. Daniel Severin didn't see the point in doing that as he would later say, quote, That guy is the biggest asshole. But do you know what would happen if we arrested every guy who was screwing around with a 17 year old girl? If we did that every time we'd be in trouble. Besides, was she 16? Was she 17? They said it started in the summer. As far as I know, they didn't punch a time clock. Everyone keeps saying, why don't you arrest him? For what? For making love with a 17 year old girl?

The real story is Mary Jo Budafuco got shot. And that? That is a terrible quote. That's a bit disturbing. Why can't you arrest Amy and Joey? And why was apparently every dude in Long Island trying to fuck the area's high school girls? I pictured this detective holding a very uncomfortable press conference. Just the longer he talks, the more awkward it gets. The more people start to get up and leave, because it's just so cringey.

Is making love with high school girls a crime? Age you can say in 17, people. Guys, I'm a fucking high school girl's kids. What? Entire history of humanity. And we're supposed to care now? You remember what fucking was like in high school? It was fucking incredible for me. Their bodies, like a new car, like a, like a new bicycle. You don't like riding a new bike? Is that what you're telling me?

That it's a crime? Riding a new bike? Are you also telling me that what, you never seen a 16 year old girl who looks like she could be 17? Or a 15 year old? Or you know, like maybe even like a 14 or 13 year old Hey, you know what? There's this 13 year old girl sunbathes next door to my wife and I's house I know she's 13 which is why I'm not gonna flirt with her not for four more years, you know But hey But if I didn't know that and my wife and I were having problems and I came home when I had a few beers and she Walks over she's taking off a swimsuit. She showed me a hot little tempter's body I didn't know that and my wife and I were having problems and I came home and I had a few beers and she walks over

She's taking off a swimsuit. She showed me a hot little tempter's body Are you gonna say that would make me a criminal to share my body with those and make love and make us feel so good? And that was like the last few people walk out there's like what the fuck he oh really what or you think I'm some kind of monster Let me let me call some of my friends to come down here back me up on this shit I would have done the same shit as Joey, but a fool go now. He's in a completely empty room Or you think I'm some kind of monster? Let me call some of my friends to come down here and back me up on this shit. I would have done the same shit as Joey Botafuco. Now he's in a completely empty room, just looking down, talking directly to his dick.

Ho ho! Guess who a couple dirtbags here, buddy? Guess it's a crime these days to be a red-blooded, passionate American man. Yeah, world just don't make any sense anymore. Back to reality now. Two and a half weeks after Amy is shot, Amy shot, Amy shot his wife, Joey finally decides to speak to the media himself. Shortly after seven in the morning, Friday, June 5th, Joey turns the dial on

his kitchen radio to his favorite early morning show, WXRK, home of shock rock jock, Howard Stern, whose controversial humor made fun of just about everybody. He's a bit toned down now, but you know, Stern was the king of shock jocks back then. Some morning, Stern would offer complimentary concert tickets to women who appeared in the studio and flashed in their breasts. He would hold butt bongo contests so he could tap some butts. Occasionally he would discuss the size of the genitals, you know, that kind of shit. And mock everyone. On this morning, Mary Jo lays aching in her bed Getting up only for daily trips to physical therapy where therapists are putting electric prods on the right side of her face

Stimulating the area continually for half an hour at a time The bullet had decimated her eardrum leaving her deaf in a right ear. Her balance is gonna be off for the rest of her life as a result Double vision is plaguing her sometimes. She has no vision at all in her right eye life as a result. Double vision is plaguing her sometimes. She has no vision at all in her right eye. Her face is paralyzed on the right from her forehead down to her esophagus. Since the right side of her esophagus doesn't work, she can't swallow. She's on an all liquid diet. Some of the nerve damage and paralysis will go away as she recovers, but for now she's in hell. Her and Joey's two kids, Paul and Jessica, they had dressed hurriedly and skipped off to school by the time Joey does what he's about to do here. Stern's talking on the

radio with a man who had said he had been Joey Botafuco's landscaper and that he had seen Joey and Amy kissing naked in the swimming pool and Joey's pissed. They don't even have a swimming pool and now that dumb fuck makes a terrible snap decision another one he picks up the phone and calls the show. For the next 10 minutes Joey chats happily with his favorite radio host, their conversation punctuated with good natured ribbing, lots of laughter. Joey is dumb as a fucking rock. Stern was not laughing with you, Joey.

He was laughing at what a putz you are. What a complete moron, as was his entire audience. Anyone with half a brain and at least a little bit of empathy and integrity listening is cringing at what a piece of shit Joey is. Joey actually complained about all the housework he'd been doing now since Mary Jo had been shot, added that his wife was better but still in a lot of pain. She's whining a lot, you know. Then he casually drops a bombshell, startling even Howard Stern.

Joey said he had not been unfaithful to his wife never he insisted had he had an affair with Amy Fisher as Stern continued to press him, but Afuqa repeatedly answered absolutely not He continued speaking to Mary Jo. Absolutely. Absolutely. She's my high school sweetheart I've been dying to be with a 37 year old girl my whole life. I finally got one What the hell am I gonna do going back back to 16, 17 year old throwback? I like this Howard Stern said. Listen, whether this is true or not, I would stick with this. I would be in complete denial." And then both men laughed. Oh, it's all a big joke. Joey claimed that basically Amy had fallen in love with him without ever participating in anything, you know, in his part, just on the basis of him seeing him.

Such a hot, hard father daddy the shop, covered in motor oil. He's such a stud. Not sure if you've ever seen a picture of Joey. He was never about to launch a career in modeling. He looks, well, exactly like the kind of guy you'd expect to do all this shit. Fucking, just fucking big poofy mullet. You know, it's like the guy that wears unbuttoned shirts down the middle of his chest, bunch of chest hair, gold medallion.

Looks like a fucking douchebag. You know what, Stern ribbed? If this is true, you are so attractive. You must have huge balls or something. Joey now gets out the phone. And after commercial break, Joey, excuse me, Stern quickly issued some demands to other media outlets. He says anyone interested in using a tape of the interview he just had must negotiate directly with him on the air and agreed to give him the following credit, Howard Stern, King of the Media. Well, the media would not credit him that way, but they would have a field day with his impromptu interview. Joey Budafuco's denial of the affair came as a complete surprise.

For more than two weeks, the media, from the New York Times to a current affair, had quoted detectives who said Joey had admitted having a sexual relationship with Amy Fisher. Neither Joey nor his lawyer, Michael Ridnau, the Budafuco's old family friend, had ever disputed these allegations. Detectives are immediately incredulous when he heard the news, Amy's attorney, Eric Nyberg, laughed. Joey had really not done himself any favors in those 10 minutes. With his wife convalescing in enormous pain after being shot over his affair with a high school girl, Joey's light-hearted banter with Howard Stern struck New Yorkers as beyond tone-deaf, unfeeling, immature.

Within days, Joey apologized, saying it was a mistake to call Stern. But by then the correct impression of who Joey was really stuck. In part because a lot of other people called into the radio station immediately to tell Howard Stern that Joey was full of shit. One of them was a co-worker of his at Complete Auto Body. And this dude said Exactly what he had told me that he gave her her first orgasm and that basically drove her wild and that's what made her so infatuated with him. I hid him in a customer's blazer one day in the back when she was looking for him up front. She was pacing back and forth in the front of the shop frantically looking for him.

The whole shop knew about it. There's no doubt about that. I know Joey personally and I know him well. I happen to know half the hookers in North Freeport know him by name I will swear in a court of law on a stack of Bibles I wish he would call right now because he would recognize my voice This guy this guy sounds like also like a fucking idiot. I love this thing of I Know Joey personally and I know him well, I happen to know half the hookers in North Freeport Freeport know him by name

Well, that means that you know them all as well And then you follow that with I would swear on a stack of Bibles these idiots The whole shop knew this married dude in his mid-30s was fucking an underage high school and they didn't do shit Just a bunch of dirtbags and how embarrassing for embarrassing for Mary Jo Thanks for now looking so bad That his lawyer and longtime family friend Michael Ridnau drops Joey now. Instead he will hire the Queen's attorney Marvin Kornberg. Ridnau will continue to represent Mary Jo. Kornberg will handle any criminal charges that

might be leveled to Joey. Now back to Amy for a second. There's still the matter of her bail. Is an appeal gonna work? Well the Fishers had about $584,000 in liquid assets. Their house valued at $400,000, but that barely touched half of what they would need for bail. Two days after the hearing, Eric Nyberg presses a four-judge panel at the Appellate Division of the State Supreme Court in Brooklyn to lower the $2 million bail. He cited a number of recent high-profile cases where the crimes were worse but the bail lower. He asked that Amy's bail be reduced to $250,000 bond or $50,000 cash. As it was before, Fred Klein's rebuttal was sharp.

This woman, he insisted, was no typical teen. She was a manipulative sex worker who would probably disappear shortly after she walked out of jail. Once again, the application is denied. She is staying behind bars. Meanwhile, in Massapequa, Joey Buttfuck-iniac is busy giving interviews on his front lawn now. He is pleased that the bail reduction is denied, but the repairman is quick to deny any animosity towards Amy. He explains, I don't hate Amy Fisher. I think she needs a tremendous amount of help.

She's got a lot of excess baggage up in that head of hers. Yeah, you put it there, so much of it. For Nyberg, he felt like Amy's inability to make bail was a death knell for her case. She barely ate. When she did, she promptly threw up. She slept very little, spent most of her time crying. Now on the telephone, she sounded incoherent. How would they put together a defense?

Amy had no assets, nothing to help her get out. Or did she? She had one asset, her story. She'd been on the front page of New York city newspapers for almost three weeks now. So Eric Nyberg takes a controversial step. He offers the exclusive rights to Amy's story in return for $2 million in bail. At a press conference he announces he is seeking the entire

bail which will be refundable if Amy appears for trial. Unspoken is the risk that the would-be story buyer will take. If Amy Fisher does not appear in court they're gonna be liable for $2 million. Well, within a few days, Nyberg is inundated with calls from Hollywood moviemakers, TV networks, even some well-known actors. He outlined his terms Amy and her parents would be available for an exclusive interview, but only after trial. No information to Vols could hurt Amy's defense, and Nyberg himself must be a participant to any interviews. He began to negotiate other terms, including the possibility of a round-the-clock security guard to make sure Amy did not run.

Nyberg soon reported he had 20 offers and was working through them. A legal battle over Amy's assets began stirring as well. Joey Butafucco's attorney lashed out, saying he would sue Amy for any money she received for her story. That money, Marvin Kornberg thundered, should go the Budaphukos, to Mary Jo's care. To make matters more complicated, the New York State Senate unanimously passed a revised Son of Sam law the same week Nyberg announced the deal for Amy's rights. The 1977 Son of Sam law, named for the serial killer recovered back in episode 167, restricted criminals and those under indictment from profiting from their crimes by selling their stories.

Simon and Schuster had sued to overturn the law, taking his case all the way to the US Supreme Court. The book company had published a book on mob informant Henry Hill, and that book became the film Goodfellas, starring Robert De Niro and Joe Pesci. Fucking brilliant film. In his ruling, the Supreme Court overturned the Son of Sam law, ruling that the law violated the First Amendment. Under the new law, victims of crimes would be able to lay claim to at least a portion

of any profits by the criminal over a longer period of time. It didn't prevent the criminal from making a profit. It made it easier for crime victims to collect, increasing the statute of limitations from one year to 10 years. Nyberg held firm, saying he was only doing this because there was no other option. He was trying to get a child out of jail. Still as the deals, if there really were any developed, Nyberg tried again petitioning Supreme Court Justice

Kenneth Molloy in Brooklyn. The court was on its summer recess, but at Nyberg's request, they agreed to reconvene. Nyberg, however, did not give the argument. He asked Thomas Boyle, a Suffolk County appeals specialist, to speak instead. So much money being spent on all this, all coming out of the Fisher's pockets. Fred Klein was there again. Boyle started by rehashing Nyberg's argument that Amy had lost

20 pounds now, representing 20% of her body weight. There was no private rooms at her jail, meaning she had no access to attorney-client privileges. Once again, bail reduction is denied. But the jail did agree to provide attorneys with private meeting rooms. Amy meanwhile, like everyone in the story, is getting her fair share of media treatment even from within prison. Males pouring in from outside the Nassau County Correctional Facility, the teen is receiving letters from movie studios, production companies, even actors. One group of would-be thespians, some waiters at the Russian Tea Room in Manhattan,

sent her a package of their resumes, hoping, quote, the teenager might help them land roles in a movie about her life. She's trying to ignore all this stuff, she requested kosher meals, starts forcing herself to eat now. She frequently is passing out, though, and suffering enormous nosebleeds from the stress. To distract herself, she watches Brady Bunch reruns, traces Disney characters on a little pad. Meanwhile, the struggle to make Amy's bail is still continuing. Mid-July, Roseanne Fisher and Eric Nyberg drive to Newark, New Jersey for a meeting with the wealthy bondsman Philip Convitz.

The 80-year-old grandfather, chairman of the International Fidelity Insurance Company, had been following Amy's case closely in the newspapers and he would agree to put up her bail money if Big if she agreed to suck his dick I mean she was 17 now come on Everybody knows that every man on Long Island loves to legally fuck a 17 year old Did you know that the old hair metal band hair hair old hair metal band my god winger? Wrote their hit not creepy at all song. Seventeen after doing some shows in Long Island. Wow!

Wow! This is right there in the song. Daddy says she's too young, but she's old enough for me. That song came out in 1988 when Kid Winger was 27. Four years before all this drama. How often did Joey Buttfuck listen to that song and just kind of go, huh, hell yeah, hell yeah, you guys get it? You guys fucking get it! Anyway, Convitz did put up the bail money. $100,000, $40k from the Fishers and $60k from the movie production company was paid to the bond company, and then he wrote a bail bond for $2 million. And for collateral, the Fishers put up their house,

assessed at $400,000. Stocks and bonds assessed at $475,000 and about $30,000 in cash. The production company was KLM Productions of Smithtown, a little-known investment group on Long Island, who had bought Amy's rights for a movie deal. The company also agreed to pay the Fishers an additional $20,000 if they made the movie to offset the $40,000 Amy's parents had paid towards the bond. Now, the Fishers got to bring Amy home after 61 days in prison, July 28, 1992. And this worried Mary Jo Buttafuoco greatly. I bet it did.

She's concerned that the unstable teenager will come after her again. Mary Jo, by the way, had just sold the rights to her story to TriStar Television for $300,000, hoping they would portray her and Joey as sympathetic parents, rather than as people caught in a tumultuous marriage. Now, Mary Jo would make a statement about the release in a press conference. What has happened to me physically, mentally, and emotionally can never be changed, Mary Jo said. My hope is now, while Amy Fisher is out on bail, she and her parents make good use of her time and consider obtaining for her some serious psychological help.

In my opinion, she needs it. Yeah, 100%. She did need it. As did your husband, as did you, Mary Jo. You need a therapy to help you learn that you shouldn't have stayed married to such a piece of shit, narcissistic sociopath. Mary Jo also said she would not feel safe until Amy Fisher was behind bars. Well the very next day Amy's back in court.

Judge Goodman issued an order of protection forbidding her from having any contact with Mary Jo or any member of the Buddafuku family. Her next court date is September 14, 1992, a pre-trial hearing. September 23, 1992, Amy Fisher now 18 and sadly, no longer of any sexual interest to 90% of men on Long Island, who now view her as an old maid with some kind of dusty mothball-filled granny puss, agreed to plead guilty to the lesser charge of reckless assault rather than face the uncertain outcome of a trial for attempted murder. Mary Jo Bonifuco is livid over the plea deal. Rich required Fisher to aid investigators still examining the incident. There was also a clear

indication that Joey Budafuco was vulnerable to a statutory rape charge if it could be proved that he had had sex with Fisher when she was 16. She tried to kill me and now she's taking my husband and trying to destroy us, said Mary Jo in a statement This girl is an attempted murderer a liar a prostitute and the DA is accepting her statement that she and Joe were together Something's wrong here. Oh Mary Jo something is wrong there the amount of denial and cognitive dissonance you employ When it comes to Joey is so sad Free on bail while awaiting sentencing Amy would also visit her old boyfriend Paul, fucking why not? Paul would now fuck Amy over. This is so dirty. When she rattled on about marrying Paul so that she could have conjugal

visits in prison and about a sports car she hoped her notoriety could buy her, Paul secretly videotaped the entire conversation, then sold the tape of this conversation to hardcopy, a national tabloid television show, and Amy makes headlines again. That, uh, that will keep my name in the press. I want my name in the press. Why? Because I make a lot of money.

I figure if I'm going through all this pain and suffering, I'm getting a Ferrari. She said on tape. When Amy saw the tape, she attempted suicide, checked into a psychiatric hospital. And while what she did say, yeah, was gross, this 30-year-old fucking loser at the gym taping her so we could exploit her to make cash off of her infamy? Also pretty gross. After she was released, she now voluntarily returns to prison to avoid the media.

So all that bail drama was for nothing. By now, police investigators had collected a handful of motel receipts signed by Joey Botafuco on dates when Amy claimed to have met with them. FBI handwriting analysts confirmed that most of the receipts did carry Budafuco's signature. But with a lack of any other evidence and with Amy's reputation making her less of an ideal witness, the DA's office announced that Budafuco would not be indicted. But Joey's problems are far from over. At her sentencing, December 1, 1992, Amy listens to Mary Jo Buttafuoco tell the court of the

lifelong pain she will endure as a result of her gunshot wound and the permanent disruption of her life and those of her loved ones. When her turn to speak came, Amy nervously apologized but continued to insist that Joey Buttafuoco encouraged her to kill his wife. Judge Goodman didn't seem to believe her. You are a disgrace to yourself, your family, and your friends, he told Amy, imposing the maximum sentence 10 to 15 years. You were like a walking stick of dynamite with the fuse lit.

The Butafucos happily declared they were satisfied with the verdict and reiterated that Amy was lying about her affair with Joey. To the surprise of everyone, especially the media the buttofuccos really did seem like They were gonna stay together major TV network soon aired the made-for-tv movies Whose broadcast rights and floated Amy's bond and paid the buttofuccos medical and legal bills? But again Joey's problems not over Still investigating exactly what had happened between Amy and Joey police began questioning employees of complete auto body in the spring of 93 Who said early spring who said they had heard Joey boast over and over about having sex with Amy that dumb motherfucker on

April 15th 1993 nearly a year after his wife was shot Budafuko is now indicted on six counts of statutory rape Doesn't count the sodomy and one count of endangering the welfare of a child. Hail Nimrod. About time. Buda Foucault pled not guilty, left court in a white Cadillac accompanied by Mary Jo. How humiliated is she?

That summer, Mary Jo accepted an undeclosed settlement in her $125 million dollar damage suit against Amy Fisher and Peter Guaguente. Peter now spent six months in prison for selling Fisher the handgun and driving her to the Budapest house. The New York State Supreme Court however denied Mary Jo's claim to any of the money with which Fisher made bail, ruling that the deal with Hollywood was within Fisher's rights as a presumed innocent defendant who was permitted to raise bail by any lawful means. Without this particular bit of indication and with the statutory rape charges looming, Mary Jo and Joey would now begin touring the national TV circuit,

reiterating that Joey had never had sex with Amy. Come on, Mary Jo, all his co-workers admitted that you're dirtbag of a husband who you knew previously had affairs. Was bragging all the time about banging a teenager. This poor lady. Dude destroyed her family. Dude who she had been with, she had been with him since she was a freshman in high school. Very tough pill to swallow. Prosecutors meanwhile ordered Joey to submit a blood test and physical examination to weigh Amy's charges that he had given her herpes and her claim to be able to identify hidden birthmarks on his body. How many SDIs?

Did I say S-D? Did Joey bring home to Mary Jo over the years? Mary Jo stayed home with her children when Joey went to court on October 5th, 1993. Would Joey keep his lie going now? So much of the American public, comedians, celebrities, TV hosts, are making fun of Joey. They've been making fun of Joey for fucking months about his lies, flanked by his his lawyer, Budafuko pled guilty to one count of statutory rape in the second degree. The most serious charge in a 19 count indictment against him. A count punishable by up to seven years in prison. Interestingly, the judge, Judge Jack Maxson, then said to him, I cannot accept your plea unless you are in fact guilty.

I cannot accept your plea unless you are in fact guilty." It was a long pause and then Budafuko finally said, on July 2nd, 1991, I had sexual relations with Amy Fisher at the Freeport Motel. Do you mean sexual intercourse? interjected the prosecutor. Yes. Don't let him beat around the bush. Does that count as a pun? I think it should. Yes, sir, Joey said. His defense attorney Dominic Barbera tried to, yeah Barbara perhaps, tried to spin Joey's admission into proof that he was a good guy. Weird. There was a family involved here, Barbara said of his client. That's the man he is. He did what he had to do in that courtroom so everybody else's life could go on. Oh,

your client's a piece of shit. And if you don't see that, you are too. November 16th at Joey's sentencing, Amy Fisher addresses the court, Your Honor, when this relationship began, I was not just a 16-year-old teenager taken to bed by a man twice my age. Amy said that in a voice so small it took court officers several minutes to find a microphone sensitive enough to make it audible. I was a 16-year-old teenager shown a world that I was not ready for,

a world of elaborate spending and fast boats. This man took me to expensive restaurants and cheap motels. I know with all my heart that if Mr. Budafuco had permitted me to cross the bridge between adolescence and adulthood unmolested, I would not be where I am today. As Amy watched from a table nearby, Joey Budafuco is sentenced now to six months in prison and five years probation. He's also fined five grand. He will later leave prison after serving 129 days of his sentence and he'll flash a thumbs up sign at photographers when he walks out because he's a classless douchebag. His wife, oh yeah they're still married, throws a welcome home party for him. Several hundred guests attend. Why?

What the fuck did that dipshit dude deserve a party? Holy shit that idiot was surrounded by a lot of other idiots. The New York Times printed the party menu, photographed the Buddafuckos celebrating together, big smiles and laughs. Meanwhile Amy Fisher is serving her sentence amid tabloid rumors of a romance with the prison guard and a lesbian affair with a fellow inmate. Tracks. The New York governor, or New York's governor, George Pataki tabloid rumors of a romance with a prison guard and a lesbian affair with a fellow inmate. The New York governor, George Pataki, eliminated work release for any inmate convicted of a violent felony around this time, ending Amy's hope for an early parole over the next few years. While she's in prison, Joey Budafuco will keep working as an auto mechanic, keep being the butt

of a lot of Joey Budafuco jokes, And he considers embarking on a career as an actor, a line of work for which his critics considered him well qualified. And then his dirty dick gets him in trouble again. Of course it did! Shortly after he and Mary Jo. Yeah, they're still married. And their kids moved to Los Angeles in 1995 now to pursue various opportunities offered by their national notoriety.

On May 24th of that year, Joey's arrested for and later pleads guilty to soliciting sex while he pleads no contest, but he was fucking he got caught soliciting sex from an undercover vice officer. Do just be single, just be another L.A. sleazebag desperate to continually try and fuck young women. You're old enough to be their fucking dad. Hollywood is full of that guy. In addition to ordering Budapuco to pay $1715 in fines and take an HIV test, the judge places Budapuco on two years probation. But then back in Nassau County, Judge Maxson finds Budapuco guilty

of violating parole, sends him to 10 months in prison. After serving most of those 10 months, Joey spends several years back in Hollywood trying his hand at acting. He lands a few small roles in very forgettable movies, straight to video stuff, and for a short time even hosts his own public access cable TV show in Hollywood. Wish I could have found clips of it. I did find an old CBS article at least describing the show, which I think was just called the Joey Modofuco show Here's an excerpt from that article the show which airs Thursdays at 1130 p.m. On public access cable Opens with shots of a leather clad Budafuco tooling around West Hollywood on a motorcycle

Various shots include his name and the marquee of the whiskey club on Sunset Boulevard a rock guitar Sets the mood as a chorus chants, Joey, Joey, Joey, Joey Bonifuco! The only lyrics in the short introduction. The set is simple, two office type chairs and a dark background. His guests like himself are scandal ridden and probed for details about their brush with infamy. His first guest is Devine Brown, who was arrested in Hollywood in 1995 for engaging in a sex act with actor Hugh Grant in a car. So that's cool. I'm sure it was riveting entertainment, very mentally stimulating stuff.

April of 1999, Amy will get another hearing. Comes after Judge Ira J. Wexner of Nassau County Court reduces Amy Fisher's sentence to a maximum of 10 years, from a maximum of 15, which makes her immediately eligible for parole. Wexner acted after having found that Fisher had not been appropriately represented by her lawyer at the time of her 1992 guilty plea. The New York State Parole Board will hear her requests and also others' comments. Mary Jo Budafuco will make an emotional appearance at the resentencing hearing. She will tell Judge Wexner that she had forgiven Amy and that she wanted her released from jail. Speaking directly to Amy, she said, you are being given a second chance in life and I pray you will take it and make something positive out of all of this

tragedy. Fisher in turn said, what happened to you? It was not your husband's fault. It was my fault and I am sorry. The two women actually clasped hands in a courtroom that fell silent over this. Very unexpected. And then the judge ordered Amy's release. Well, the board put her on probation until February 26, 2003 with curfew and travel restrictions to be set at the discretion of her parole officer. Amy had to undergo court-ordered periodic drug testing and have no contact with Joey or Mary Jo. She will be released May 11th, 1999 Wearing dark sunglasses to shield her eyes from the bright morning sun and TV news cameras Amy now 24 emerges from the state correctional facility at Albion shortly before 9 a.m

And embraces her mom Roseanne Fisher who led her to a waiting car. Not sure why the dad Elliott was not there Maybe because from prison Amy had made claims that he physically abused her or maybe because he and Roseanne had gotten divorced. The two were taken to a nearby airport where they boarded a privately chartered plane for their return home. After her release from prison Fisher soon became a columnist for the Long Island Press. Also got married to Lou Bellara, a man 24 years her senior, just could not stay away from guys twice her age, and she will have three children with him. Her biography, If I Knew Then, written by Robbie Wallover, was published in 2004 and

became a bestseller. Backing up two years now. 2002. Joey Butterfuckface participates in celebrity boxing, originally slated to oppose John Wayne Bobbitt for a televised match, Bobbitt was the guy whose wife Lorraine had cut his dick off. After alleging he had raped her for years, the guy whose dick was then reattached and he starred in some pornos. John dropped out though because he got arrested for domestic abuse. Just a lot of fucking classy folks in this episode. Bobbitt is replaced on the fight card by female pro wrestler Joni China Laura. So that's cool.

Joey Buttfuck now literally punching women for money. You can find most of this fight online and in the fight Joey fights dirty, pushes her, hits her in the back of the head. This man truly has zero shame, just no dignity at all. Buddafuku despite being booed the time, wins the fight in a majority decision. Mary Jo must have been so proud. Then in 2003, the Buttafuckos get divorced. Did you see that coming?

I did not. After all she'd endured, I figured that Mary Jo was gonna stay with Joey till the end. Both will claim that it was amicable. I doubt it. Maybe Mary Jo caught Joey cheating again. Caught him 10 more times. Got another STI from him. Maybe he fucked another teen. Who knows with that guy. That same year, 2003, Joey's arrested in connection with an auto insurance scam. Awesome. USA Today stated in a January 2004 article that he told undercover investigators how to file phony insurance claims for cars that weren't even damaged.

Will end up being sentenced to a year in jail, five years probation in exchange for a guilty plea. Still not done yet. August 2005, Joey charged with illegal possession of ammo. As a convicted felon, he was not legally permitted to own ammunition. Probation officers found the ammo during the search of his home. He pled no contest, began serving a sentence January 8, 2007, released nearly five months later, April 28. 2006, Amy Fisher reunites with Mary Jo Budafuco in Sessions Televised for Entertainment Tonight, and it's spin-off, The Insider.

In preparation, Mary Jo underwent a facial reanimation procedure involving static facial suspension, a facelift, and eye lift procedures. These surgeries restored balance, gave her back her ability to smile. Next was surgery to widen the ear canal, which improved her hearing, prevented future infections. At the reunion, Amy said she wanted to heal and move on with her life, and both women again clasped hands. But then later that same year Amy and Joey reunite at the lingerie bowl coin toss. An event where women played American football in skimpy outfits. Again no shame for either of them. May 13th 2007 the New York Post reported that Amy Fisher had left her husband and that Joey left his girlfriend and both reportedly were supposed to go on a date in Port

Jefferson Monday May 14th. Well, she had not left her husband, but she said provocatively to the press, I'm not 16 anymore. It was rumored that Amy and Joey were trying to pitch a reality show where they would live in a house together, and they were trying to drum up interest. Mary Jo was disgusted. She told the press, Why do we like train wrecks? Why do we like to watch? Why do we slow down when we go past an accident scene? It's the nature of the beast, I guess. Joey has lost everything. He doesn't

have a business. He's been in jail more times than I can count. He has nothing. There's nothing in his life and he's hit rock bottom. And so this is what he does. Guys, poor kids. Later that year, in October of 2007, Red Light District Video publishes a press release stating that it intended to release a sex tape of Amy and Lou Ballera that Ballera sold to the company. On October 31, frames from the video showing Amy naked were posted on various websites. November 1, a teaser clip is released by Red Light District Video showing Fischer naked while she showers in sunbathes. November 6, 2007, Amy sues Red Light District and its owner, David Joseph, claiming copyright infringement and other damages.

But by November 18, AmyFisher.com, whose ownership Fisher had previously fought to win, began pointing directly to the Red Light District website. Early January 2008, Amy announces that she has settled with Red Light and agrees to do a related promotional appearance. The same announcement indicated that she and Lou Ballera, her ex, or not her husband, excuse me, had reconciled. I guess they were separated briefly. That promotional appearance took place at Retox in New York City, January 4, 2008. Then, a couple months later, March 6, Fisher's a guest on The Howard Stern Show.

And one topic of discussion is meant to be her porno. But after the first phone call, which is from Mary Jo Budafuco's daughter Jessica, Fisher abruptly leaves the show six minutes into her interview. January 12, 2009, Amy now releases a pay-per-view porn film. Amy Fisher totally nude and exposed. Yes, I watched a little bit for research just to verify that it is in fact real. Also, while I can't find a date or a name for it, Joey Modafuku also starred in at least one porn. I don't know the date. It is on various porn sites. I did

watch some of this movie, this fine indie art house cinema to be thorough with my research. I do not recommend it. I would say that even for porn, very low budget and based on his performance I get why I couldn't find more films. Also in 2009 Amy Fisher signed to deal with Lee Entertainment to become an exotic dancer doing strip club shows at least once a month for an undeclosed amount of time. 2010, Mary Jo releases her book, Getting It Through My Thick Skull, Why I Stayed, What I Learned, and What Millions of People Involved with Sociopaths Need to Know. She said the realization that Joey was a sociopath came when her son Paul, who was

discussing one of her ex-husband's publicity stunts, labeled Joey as a sociopath. So it seems like she finally fucking woke up and was able to see Joey for what he really is. You know, better late than never. September 2010, Dream Zone Entertainment releases the adult film Deep Inside Amy Fisher. Calling it the first of eight such films Amy will produce and will star in. The company had announced the movie in July 2010 under the working title The Making of Amy Fisher, porn star. Following year 2011 Joey puts on his boxing gloves again. Oh hell yeah, at the age of 55 now to box

Fisher's husband Lou Balera who is 61. Oh what a fight for celebrity fight night. Some sad celebrities. China reportedly trained Balera for the bout. At least the whole thing was for a good cause, raising money for the film on charitable trust. Joey actually fighting a man this time gets his ass knocked out. So that's good. It gets knocked out by a 61 year old man. Mary Jo gets remarried to a man named Stu Tender in Las Vegas in 2012. Then he passes away six years later in 2018. In September of 2017, Mary Jo reveals that she had undergone more surgery to repair her partially paralyzed face. This included both another facelift, a repair of some nerves, it kept her from smiling or difficulty smiling. But Afuko is pleased with the results stating, It's the first time in 25 years that when I smile I can see the side of my teeth.

That's awesome. Now today, Mary Jo continues to raise awareness and to try to raise funds to cure facial paralysis. May of 2021, Jessica Budafuco told the host of the talk show, The Doctors, that letting anger towards her disgraced father build up over his affair served no useful purpose and that she had finally forgiven him. She said her life was hellish growing up

in the middle of a media circus. Her mom was shot when she was in the third grade and once some people stopped her and her father in the car and asked if she was his new underage girlfriend. I mean kind of a fair question. Jessica was also humiliated when she applied for New York University's theater program as a teen and one interviewer asked her, are you related to that clown Joey Budafuco? It is unclear what her older brother Paul has gotten up to Joey now 68 appears to be still trying to get people to think he's a good dude

November of 2019 ABC News reported he was working on a film about his early life that no one will fucking care about He said I'm not the kind of guy that's gonna sit here and blame anything on anything And how how I got, I made my own choices. I made my own life by my own choices, whether they were good or they were bad. I made some good choices. I made some bad choices. He said. He seemed to be on some sort of apology tour.

Today you can find Joey on TikTok. So that's pretty cool. Joey and his new wife, Rianne, started posting videos together in June of 2022, including clips of him with her kids, celebrating birthdays together, numerous videos where they address his past. And Amy? Well, she and Lou got divorced in 2015. She and her three kids live in Florida for, or lived in Florida for a period of time,

but she said she began to feel that her kids were being ostracized there. So Amy and her kids, they return to Long Island where they now live in a big four-bedroom ranch style home that mama bought for her. Of course, mommy still buying little princess whatever she needs. Not sure what dad is up to or if he's even still around. Elliot and Roseanne got divorced way back at the end of 1992, just six or so months after Amy was arrested for shooting Mary Jo. Roseanne filed for divorce on the grounds of essentially sexual abandonment

and friends said their marriage had been on the rocks for years. Although she still gets offered multiple opportunities for interviews and television appearances, Amy now claims it's just no longer worth it. She said recently her life has already been ruined and she simply wants some peace. However, clips of her masturbating on video on some webcams were being uploaded to porn sites. I have to be very thorough with my research! As recently as two years ago. They may have been filmed several years ago, I don't know.

Hopefully both Amy and Joey will stay out of the limelight for the rest of their days. Every time they make the news, it just seems to be for something cringey. And now let's get out of this timeline. Good job, soldier. You've made it back. Barely. Before a recap of today's Sorted Tale, time for another sponsor.

But it's a pretty good one. Well, it's a pretty bad one. But it's one I want you to hear. Today's Time Suck is brought to you by Joey Butafuco's Long Island Lolita Group Home for Troubled and Horny Teen Girls. Hey, it's me, Joey Butafuco. I'm back in Long Island to make some amends and also to apologize and also to right some wrongs. It's terrible that I took advantage of a very sexy, very horny, very sexually adventurous 16 year old girl who I had sex with like at least a hundred times. Often going at it three or four times in the same night.

Giving her powerful orgasms every time because I'm an Italian Stein with a hog built for some porn, you know. But that's not what I want you to talk to you about. Long Island, I want you to give me your teen girls. So I can help them. Get your minds out of the gutter. I want to teach your teen girls how not to act, how not to dress. I want to give them a safe home.

I want to be spending the night with them in their beds. Make sure some kind of fucking dirt bag doesn't try anything funny. I want to be taking showers with your girls. To make sure they end up to no good in there. I'm gonna be giving them nude massages to show them that you know not all naked touches from an older man have to lead to sex. And when they turn 17, yeah, yeah I'm gonna try and fuck them. I mean come on, they're sexiest out. I'm doing muthafucka baby, that's what I do.

But before that, I'm gonna protect your girls. So hand them over, Long Island, give me your girls, give me your teen girls. Let me smell them, let me protect them. Let me wash their naked backs in the showers, let me groom them girls. So hand them over. Long Island, give me your girls. Give me your teen girls. Let me smell them. Let me protect them. Let me wash their naked backs in the showers. Let me groom them. I mean, keep them safe. And you know, when the food's ripe, yeah, I'm going to pluck it. I'm going to eat.

I'm going to fuck them. Come on, I'm Joey Budafogo, baby. It's what I do. To find out if you or your teen girl qualify to stay at Joey Budafogo's Long Island Lolita Group Home for trouble and horny teen girls, fill out the appropriate form at lolitasforlife.com and be sure to include number of sexual partners, bra and panty size, sexual act preferences, and several photos of your child and age-appropriate lingerie.

It's Joey Budafuco, baby! It's what he do! God, that was a fucking terrible spot. That was disturbing. But on brand. But on brand. I mean, it's Joey Budafuco, baby. You know, it is what he do. For real now, Amy Fisher and Joey Budafuco. Remember up top how I asked why there seems to be no grand

reconsidering of this case now? How other controversial figures the 90s like Tonya Harding and Monica Lewinsky seem to be undergoing a process of being reconsidered? You know, perhaps having their crimes reinterpreted so they're not the villain or at least not as villainous, not seen as villainous now. Why hasn't that happened for Amy? Probably because to have a re-reconing, at least someone in your story has to be trying to do the right thing. They've got to be somewhat sympathetic.

Tanya Harding, as those who have seen I, Tanya Maynard grew up poor with a mother who pressed her to become a figure skating star by all means necessary. Monica Lewinsky while she grew up in an affluent family in San Francisco was also being blamed by everyone for the actions of a much older, you know, much more powerful man who had sworn to serve the nation and had used a little bit of his precious time doing so to have oral sex with a 22 year old. Both of those are subjects deserving full length sucks, or at least short sucks. With Joey Budafuco, you know, there's definitely no excuse for what he did. And with Amy Fisher, it's not easy to find a lot of sympathy for her as well. They both had huge advantages in life. Amy was the pride and joy of her hardworking parents. Parents who had set her up with everything she needed to be successful. A car, money for college, maybe someday deposit on

a house or a business loan. Had she made her personal struggles known to her successful, a car or money for college, maybe someday a deposit on a house or a business loan. Had she made her personal struggles known to her parents, she almost certainly would have been able to get therapy or psychiatric treatment. Little Credence has been given to the few vague claims that Elliot did anything sexual with his daughter, by the way. As proven by how hard they did try to secure her bail, Fisher seemed to only ever want to bring Amy home, seem to give her a happy, healthy home growing up, even though they indulged the shit out of her. Definitely seemed to spoil her way too much, but it doesn't seem like they likely abused her. Just again, spoiled her too often for too long. Why did Amy and Joey get together? Because they're

fucking idiots. Especially him. But also because attraction is a very powerful thing. It's something that oftentimes makes no sense to us. Why am I attracted to the person who is quote bad for me over the person who is quote good for me? Why am I attracted to the person who is taken rather than the person who is single? Why are some of us attracted to others who are far from age appropriate? And speaking of age, are the boundaries that age and consent laws draw around people superficial and somewhat arbitrary? Yeah, sure, but they're also there for a reason.

Because no amount of attraction makes up for the damage you can cause to them. No amount of attraction means you're going to make the right choices, and the person you're with is going to make the right choices. No amount of attraction means that if you're not single, you're doing them a huge disservice and possibly even putting them in danger. Attraction is powerful, but a bullet is even more so And by huge disservice, you know them I mean like the family around you Yeah, nobody would learn about all this more than Mary Jo but a fuku. Like I said, what a cautionary tale You want to play the field? Okay fine But make sure you're single or in a relationship where your partner knows you're fucking around and is cool with it

But make sure you're single or in a relationship where your partner knows you're fucking around and is cool with it Don't try and have the comfort of a stable relationship and on the side the excitement of being single it almost never ever works out It almost always ends in some form of a U-Haul in tears Now let's head to today's takeaways takeaways. Time Shuck Top 5 Takeaways. Number one on May 19th 1992 17 year old Amy Fisher shot Mary Jo Budafuco, wife of her affair partner in the right temple and left her for dead. So lucky she didn't kill her. Amy had apparently been wanting to shoot Mary Jo for months maybe even not long after the affair started in July 1991 she wanted to.

Why is it a little mysterious? Was it jealousy, plain and simple, egged on by mental health issues? Or did Joey, you know, act like he didn't want Mary Jo around anymore? Who knows? Number two, Joey Budafuco would plead guilty to statutory rape for having sex with Amy when she was 16. Amy would allege that he got her involved in the escort business, although who knows if that's true, and his whole collection of other assorted legal troubles in the 90s and 2000s would be a testament to his slimy character. Number three, age consent laws are controversial, at least somewhat, and we can probably agree not based strictly in reality. One 17 year old may be more mature than another. One may even be able to conduct a relationship with someone older of their own volition. But in almost every case, isn't it better if teenagers get to work out their angst with other teenagers?

Get to sexually develop with other teenagers. Isn't it better to let them experience their childhoods instead of force them into situations they don't have the brain development or life experience to deal with? While you, and by you I mean an adult, old enough to be able to at least drink legally, maybe rent a car, may be able to have sex with teenagers as young as 16 in some states, you probably shouldn't. Number four. Amy Fisher and Joey Botafuco refused to give up the spotlight despite all the attention given to them being negative. Even planning to publicize reunion at the lingerie bowl, faking that they might be getting back together, planning to have a reality show

where they lived in the same house. And when that didn't pan out, Amy most likely had her ex quote unquote, release her sex tape, after which she began a short-lived career in porn. And for some people infamy seems to truly be preferable to obscurity. In number five, new info, more trivia about Lolita.

Did you know the book was made into a 1962 movie directed by Stanley Kubrick? If that sounds like it would never fly today, having a 14 year old play opposite a grown man in a movie about his sexual desires for her, that's true. And that's a good thing. Indeed Kubrick would even later say that he chose Sue Lyon for her breast size.

They were more developed than other girls her age. And in the few instances that Sue Lyon who played Dolores spoke out in the later stages of her life, she cited her involvement in Lolita as having had a very detrimental impact on her mental health. That she was exposed to things no 14 year old should ever be exposed to. More recently there have been allegations of a sexual relationship between the film's producer James B. Harris, who was 34 when the film was made, and 14-year-old Lion during the production.

Still the movie's iconic for a number of reasons. It popularized the heart-shaped sunglasses as being part of a Lolita type character. In the end and later years Kubrick confessed that if he had fully appreciated the moral implications of adapting Vladimir Nabokov's novel for film, he probably would not have tackled the project at all. Yeah, just because you can make a movie about something, that definitely doesn't mean that you should. Let kids be kids. They'll have plenty of time to be sexual later. Time Shuck Top 5 Takeaways! Joey Buttafuckface! And Amy the Long Island Lolita Fisher.

This topic has been sucked. Thank you to the Bad Magic Productions team for all the help in making Time Suck starting with Queen of Bad Magic Lindsay Cummins giving me the time to do this. Thanks to Logan Keith helping to publish today's episode designing merch for the store at badmagicproductions.com. Thank you to Sophie Evans for her wonderful initial research on this one. And thanks to the all-seeing eyes moderating the Cult of the Curious private Facebook page, the Mod. Updates! Get your time sucker updates! This week's first update is from a sweet and silly sack, Katie Daniel, who writes in with

the subject line of, hey snowflake, JK Gosh dang. Triple M Cummins, I did not have you being a snowflake on my goddamn bingo card. I'm just kidding of course, but it tickles me to hear you being so sweet about Lindsay and your kids. I was pretty sure that you were, but I love hearing about it nonetheless. It really reminds me that all people are nuanced and imperfect souls just trying their best. Okay, that might have been a snowflake thing to say, but I probably am, so so what? I think that's a super important reminder right now.

If my best friend had tried to tell me my favorite podcast would be a dude raised in a generally conservative, racially and religiously homogenous rural area, I'd have said, go home mom you're drunk. She and my dad were two of about ten hippies in a town I like to describe as Westboro Light, where I was actually shouted out of my class for whispering to a friend the day after Bush Jr. won the presidential election that I was disappointed in the outcome. So the fact that I have been calmed about all of the unrest in the last several years and had my hope and humanity somewhat restored over and over is nothing short of a miracle.

The calm and the hope is not just due to things you and the Bad Magic family have said and done but because of the very wide variety of listeners you've humanized. In addition to the various difficult topics you've covered and made it clear when you are presenting facts and facts you found, when you're sharing your opinions, and when you're bullshitting, eventually, you silly asshole. If this is read on air, please give a shout out to my boyfriend Chris. It might actually be a couple years before he hears this, because he's goddamn hardworking, kind, gentle, thoughtful, hilarious,

and smart that he doesn't get to listen to you as much as he would like. He's also amazing in bed, and I hail Lusophina every time, or excuse me, every day that she sent him my way. But I digress. He's just the best and I love him so much. Love all you beautiful bastards just as not as much as I love Chris." Well Katie, what a great message. Chris sounds like a lucky man. You sound incredible. Yeah, thanks for sending in such kind words. Yeah, I do try to be decent. More and more as I get older. I think that's supposed to be how it works. And I do try to encourage others to do the same. To not let politicians and corporate interests do our thinking for us and divide us. That serves them, not us. To not disparage and marginalize others in knee-jerk

thoughtless ways for just being born looking or acting differently. To be kind unless you're met with savagery and then to be rightfully judgmental, vengeful or protective. To hear out the other side's arguments and then condemn them if need be. To have an open mind to to consider other perspectives, but also stay true to basic universal golden rule type moral principles. To understand and employ solid critical thinking skills so that you not only make better choices that improve your own life, but also improve the lives of those around you because we all are truly in this together. It's not that big of a ball. Collectively, we truly decide how equitable and pleasant or how inequitable and unpleasant this world will be. How unpleasant or pleasant it is. Do you ever think about how very different the world could be if we all decided to ditch a lot of the trappings of our past choices, old instincts that no longer serve us in the modern world if we stop desperately

clinging to wildly outdated ideologies? How we could reshape the world in so many glorious wonderful ways. I do And maybe we can't you know really totally reshape it how we want but we can we can nudge it in that direction I think it's important to try and do so I Feel very lucky to have found an audience of so many people who seem to share in general this kind of belief So hail, Lusifena Katie and thank you for sending that message Now veteran sucker Matt McNutt. Mr. McNutt. Oh, you and fucking Buttafucko could have a law firm together.

McNutt and Buttafucko! Matt writes in with a subject line of Iraq War anecdotes and shares some thoughts on the Saddam Hussein suck. Dan, Lindsay, Logan, all the Bad Magic crew. Insert sycophantic greeting. Just wanted to say I especially enjoyed the recent suck on Sassam Hussein. Learned more about how sadistic he and his regime were. Reinvigorated the pride I have in my small efforts to rid the Iraqi people of his tyranny.

I also loved how you kept going on tangents about a spoiled tantrum throwing psychotic son Uday. Though it wasn't a huge story even at the time, I'm surprised you didn't mention Uday's lions. Let me enlighten you. For the first 12 of the 15 months I was there in 2003-2004, my unit was assigned to Baghdad, patrolling a large area around the university in the downtown marketplace. Our rear base was in or around the Green Zone, in one of Saddam's palaces and the Bath Party houses along the river. Between the houses and palace was a large cage of iron bars and chain link fence which housed his lions. There were one adult male, two adult females, and five cubs.

The females were very aggressive and defensive, charging the fence, growling and spitting wherever we got too close. The male just laid around, didn't give a fuck. He was huge. His head was about the size of my torso. The cubs got used to us gawking, would even lick our fingers or let us scratch their heads with a finger or two that we could fit through the chain link. There was an Iraqi veterinarian that would come once or twice a week to feed them and give them all the vitamins they needed through a special side cage. If we were there when he came he would often let us help feed them, usually huge chunks of raw meat meat sometimes an entire donkey head or something similar. Through an interpreter I finally got to ask him why the lions were there in our base and

not at the zoo. He told me the zoo couldn't take them because they were man-eaters. Uday had on occasion literally thrown people to the lions for whatever offense he perceived. Side note only the adults were man-eaters the Cubs were born shortly after we got there. One more short story. We were still in Baghdad when US forces finally killed that shit stain and his bitch brother, Qusay.

Holy shit. Iraqis often celebrate by firing their guns into the air. And that night when the news broke, it seemed like the entire city lit up the skies. You could see tracers all over like a fireworks finale We were wrong. We almost shit our pants thinking an entire city of over 5 million people were rising up and attacking us Thankfully no unit that I know of reported any casualties Although I was told later that something like 80 civilians died and a couple hundred were wounded from falling rounds

Anyway, thank you for helping me reminisce about some of my old glory days And thank you Thanks for all you and the bad magic team do to keep us informed and entertained. Not sorry for the length or the girth since it's not that big. Just average. You get it. Best regards, Matt McNutt. Well, Matt, thank you for sharing stories from your service.

And thank you for your service. Man, can you imagine being tossed into a lion's enclosure to be torn apart and eaten? That is some Roman Colosseum shit. It's a terrifying way to go out. And I think I would actually feel bad for the lion as the lion was eating me. I know this isn't what you wanted! Also, 80 people died from falling rounds from a celebration. That is so darkly funny to me.

Like, all those people shooting rifles in the air, like, how many of them just didn't think about the consequences? Yeah, the bullets are gonna come back down eventually. And now one more message. Osric is a weary. Fucking no clue if I said that right. Seems like a solid sack. Don't know about his name but he seems for the message to be good. And they sent in a message with a subject line of deployment birthday shoutout. Hey damn, my good friend Nathan aka Whiskey Medic is about to deploy for the second time and was wondering if you could give him a birthday shoutout. He is going to be leaving his wife,

two sons, and despite having a pathetic shamecock, what this big deal, also managed to have a brand new baby girl born right before deployment. During his deployment he'll be missing out on some of his daughter's first achievements and I thought a shout out from the suck master himself might make things a little better while he's being while he's overseas. He is the one who actually showed me your podcast and I just wanted him to know that we are all proud of him serving his country despite how hard it is to leave right now. Happy birthday you crazy bastard come back in one piece so I don't have to continue dad watch by myself. Showbiz! Well, that is so nice, Osric. Nathan, sorry I missed your birthday,

but I know this episode will drop about a week before your deployment. For the record, Osric did send this message in time for your birthday as well. Yeah, happy birthday. Thank you for your service. And I hope you create a lot of good memories with your fellow servicemen and servicewomen

while you miss out on some memories at home. I hope you don't feel guilty about that. Just remember that we all miss shit. Every single one of us misses stuff. So please don't feel bad for a second about what you might miss while you're doing something so noble. Stay safe and Hail Nimrod.

Thanks, Time Suckers. I needed that. We all did. Thank you for listening to another Bad Magic Productions podcast. Scared to Death, Time Suck each week, Short Sucks, and Nightmare Fuel on the Time Suck and Scared to Death podcast feed some weeks. Please do not go full Joey Budafuco or full Amy Fisher this week. Don't start an affair with a high school girl. Or you're a high school girl don't start having sex with a guy twice your age. Have sex with your wife or your boyfriend and wrap it up when you do and then keep on and not necessarily in a sexual way. Sucking. TOS. Ad Magic Productions

How much less media attention would this story have gotten if Joey's last name was Anderson, or Wilson, or Lee, anything other than Buddafuko. I mean it's an attention-grabbing name, right? Joey Buddafucko, Joey Bekka Donuts, Joey Bada Bing Bada Boom Bada Keep Your Daughters Locked Up Around Him. What a guy! The pride of Long Island. Oh, Long Island's just fuckin' fine as sun. JK. Hmm. Maybe. I've heard things.