Timesuck with Dan Cummins - 431 - 400+ Dead in the Forest: The Malindi Doomsday Cult

Episode Date: December 2, 2024

We take a look at the recent, tragic final act of a doomsday cult in Kenya that left 448 dead and another 613 missing in March of 2023. How did cult leader Paul Mackenzie, pastor of Good News International Ministries, convince his followers to starve their own children and then themselves to death? And how did the Pentecostalism he based his messages in contribute to his insane and deadly teachings? Merch and more: www.badmagicproductions.com Timesuck Discord! https://discord.gg/tqzH89vWant to join the Cult of the Curious PrivateFacebook Group? Go directly to Facebook and search for "Cult of the Curious" to locate whatever happens to be our most current page :)For all merch-related questions/problems: [e-mail] (copy and paste)Please rate and subscribe on Apple Podcasts and elsewhere and follow the suck on social media!! @timesuckpodcast on IG and http://www.facebook.com/timesuckpodcastWanna become a Space Lizard? Click here: https://www.patreon.com/timesuckpodcast.Sign up through Patreon, and for $5 a month, you get access to the entire Secret Suck catalog (295 episodes) PLUS the entire catalog of Timesuck, AD FREE. You'll also get 20% off of all regular Timesuck merch PLUS access to exclusive Space Lizard merch.

End times is here and people are being crucified. This is what one woman living in Melindi, Kenya was told by her brother, Melindi Doomsday cult member Solomon Wendow. Like hundreds of others, Solomon had left his family behind to join a charismatic preacher, Paul McKenzie, on his compound in the nearby Shekahala forest. For almost two decades McKenzie had been preaching an end times message, a message that the world was filled with devils and demons, evidenced by women wearing wigs and the short lengths of

their skirts. He preached that the new world order was a satanic cabal orchestrated by the United States and the United Nations, that Kenya's new proposed identification system, with everyone receiving an individual number just like our social security system here in the US, was clearly the infamous dreaded Mark of the Beast. The rapture was near. For years he had been preaching against secular education and modern medicine as well, topics that had gotten him into trouble more than once. In 2017 he was arrested after several children in his church died from not receiving proper,

readily accessible medical care. But he was found not guilty and released back into the world after he very likely bought his way out of incarceration through bribes. To avoid future legal trouble and to try and make a lot of money in the grossest way possible, he would move his group away from the prying eyes of non-followers and out into the Shakahallah forest for their final act. There he and his followers would live on sections of land he named after biblical places. With Mackenzie residing in Galilee, the area Jesus had lived for most of his life, Mackenzie and his followers tried to make their home on a sunscorched wasteland of scrub and spindly trees, waiting for the coming apocalypse that seemed

ever closer with the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic. And soon their makeshift home would turn into the most gruesome of crime scenes. In January of 2023, McKenzie announced that he had a new plan for his group. With his beliefs based in the Pentecostal branch of evangelical Christianity, he had long placed an emphasis on how bodily experiences were manifestations of God's influence. Things like speaking in tongues, being miraculously healed and more. And now he would take things further. He told his cult members they were all going to go on a fast. They were going to have to starve themselves to death and that would prove they were truly worthy of a special place in God's kingdom and his kingdom on earth was near the apocalypse was set to begin in mere days and

Apocalypse of sorts would truly happen the end times for the Malindi cult When authorities later investigated the aftermath of the cult's last days They found a greater horror than they could have possibly ever expected Something on par with the Jonestown massacre and the hundreds of dead bodies left in the wake of the Ugandan cult, the movement for the restoration of the Ten Commandments of God. In other words, a massacre and one where far from everyone had died of starvation. So what happened to the Melindi cult? Who is Paul Mackenzie? Where is he now? How did he convince his followers

to quote, meet Jesus through mass starvation as he told them they would? All of this and more in another Colt, Colt, Colt, Doomsday, the end times are not here because these motherfuckers are literally always wrong with their predictions. Addition of Time Suck. This is Michael McDonald and you're listening to Time Suck. This is Michael McDonald and you're listening to Time Suck. Well, happy Monday and welcome to the cult of the curious. I hope you fucked those turkeys up last week. Into December now. How, how, how. I am Dan Kellmans, the suck master, Oedipus complex denier, penis envy supplier, anal fixation desirer, and you are listening to Time Suck. Hail Nimrod, hail Lucifina, praise be to good boy Bojangles, and glory be to Triple M. Now that I thank the gods of the suckfurs may they guide my

mushmouth for this recording. No announcements again other than to say thank you for all of you who have helped donate over ten thousand dollars on top of the patreon contributions to this year's Bad Magic Giving Tree. We will spend over thirty five thousand dollars in total to make the holidays extra special for over 30 families and owe so many kids. So thanks for being awesome year after year everybody. And one more thing, Vera if you're listening, thanks for the matcha latte at the Ironwood Starbucks in Coeur d'Alene November 25th. Sorry if I was weird when you approached I actually thought you were someone else, someone I sat right behind on a flight recently

who was insanely rude to the flight attendants who I may have talked some shit about loud enough for her to hear as I sat behind her and instead of being a fan giving me a nice latte I thought at first that you were enraged Karen coming to confront me and I just felt so embarrassed after you left I was panicking when you first walked over I did not want to get into a weird confrontation at a coffee shop. I like to go off into work. So again, thank you. That was so nice. You're awesome and hopefully if I see you again, I won't be as weird. And now onto a topic that began to make international headlines beginning in April of 2023. Headlines like massacre death toll rises to 226 like massacre death toll rises to 226 and Shakahala or Shakahala excuse me massacre organs missing from some. The last headline would lead to speculation

that the bodies found in the mass graves have been part of some large-scale organ harvesting conspiracy. One more way for Paul McKenzie to make money off of his followers even in their deaths. It would later be regarded as inaccurate that there was any organ harvesting going on at least that's what the government is saying. I don't trust the Kenyan government. McKenzie evaded authorities for a long time even though he was arrested and charged with multiple crimes throughout the 2010s where there seemed to have been plenty of evidence to secure conviction, but he always seemed to slip right out of the authorities grasp. It's

almost like he was bribing them. As we'll see in our exploration of Malindi, Kenya. There is a strong possibility He paid someone off in these cases the Kenyan government has long been wildly corrupt Maybe he really was harvesting followers organs and authorities, you know covered that aspect of his crimes up because they were somehow complicit in those crimes or More likely maybe worried about his impact on tourism which was already suffering. Regardless of what was you know going on or not going on with his followers organs what we do know for sure is that for decades, two decades I think probably, Paul Mackenzie ran a church called Good News International Ministries, sometimes

referred to as the Good News International Church, where over a period of time his messages became more and more apocalyptic. And they were already apocalyptic when he first got going, owing to the extremist strain of Pentecostalism that influenced Mackenzie's teachings. And today we will explore that strain of Pentecostalism as well as the rise of Pentecostalism in general and how it became especially popular in Kenya, I found his history highly entertaining and fascinating before getting into this very recent, very horrifying episode. And of course, we'll get to know Paul McKenzie, a strange, devious, charismatic leader who wanted to become

a pastor, seemingly to have a God-like influence over people's lives, to tell them what to do, you know, have them give over their money to him, to instruct them how to die, or as he put it, to help them meet Jesus. Here we go. Let's begin by talking about today's cult leader's Pentecostal influences. Paul McKenzie was a strong proponent of the teachings of William Branham. Excuse me. I always want to say Branham with this guy, but it's Branham.

William Branham, a Christian minister and faith healer who initiated a massive boom of faith healing in post-World War II America. And William, or Willie, was unequivocally 100% full of shit when it came to his faith healing. The dude was a blatant grifter, a terrible human being. Slick Willie became a convert to Christianity at a church in Indiana, pastored by a man named Roy Davis, one of the founding members of the second iteration of the Ku Klux Klan in 1915. A man who would use the word of God to actively recruit for the KKK for decades. Fuck yeah bro, what a way into the church.

Slick Willie's family had strong ties to the KKK, so he would keep those ties for the rest of his life and never denounce the KKK. In fact, whenever asked about them, he would speak highly of them. Roy Davis would finance Willie's entrance into the world of practicing faith healing at tent revivals and would help him open his first church. Davis, in addition to being aggressively racist, also was a blatant grifter who clearly used preaching to line his pockets. A guy who did not believe in or give a shit about saving souls. He was jailed numerous times over his life for various con artist crimes. He sold bullshit contraptions that promised to cure various ailments like cancer. He abandoned his first wife and children, didn't pay spousal or child support

Got into legal trouble numerous times for cashing forged checks and banks in several states Got into trouble for being married to more than one woman at the same time And he was even brought up on federal racketeering charges for crimes committed against his congregation at the Jeffersonville Church and the congregations of other churches he had relationships with in other states. He was a total sleazebag. And this guy is the guy who baptized Willie Branham and he was Willie's mentor and clearly taught him how to pray on the faithful. Old slick Willie, taught by the late great Roy Davis,

a man who had influenced the teachings of the Melindi Doomsday cult like no one else, also preached a version of the so-called doctrine of the serpent seed. Oh, so fun. Not even a little bit Batch It Crazy. This snake oil salesman claimed that Eve was literally fucked by some kind of snake, or snake-like evil creature in the Garden of Eden. And that non-whites are the descendants of this snake fuckery. Basically everyone not of European descent, you know because that's that's where the Garden of Eden was I guess in Europe, everyone not of European descent you know is a evil snake demon folk.

Sorry to break the news to all the non-white meat sacks listed this week. But, uh, your snake, uh, your snake demons. I mean, on the bright side, you know, at least you can, um, excuse me, uh, handle hot weather. You're like better than us non-snake, non-demon folk. You know, like, like you don't have to worry about like a, like a heat stroke. So that's, that's pretty cool. You know, it gets really hot. You can, you can enjoy it more than we could, you know, you could like lay out on

those sun rocks and kind of warm yourself and stuff and that's fun. Uh, let's talk about slick willies. Slick faith healing now. Uh, sad to this guy who was so obviously a liar of the worst kind helped launch the modern charismatic movement. And for proof that he was a bullshitter to his American audiences, Brandon frequently claimed in sermon after sermon, several high profile events occurring during his international tours that definitely for sure did not happen.

Events he knew damn well he was lying about. So his grift was absolutely intentional. For instance, he claimed to visit and pray for the UK's King George VI while en route to Finland in 1950 saying he totally healed the King through prayer. But in reality, he definitely never even met King George. The king was chronically ill when he claimed to meet him, never got better, died about a year after Branham claimed to have totally healed him. That's a pretty lazy lie. So much easier to pull off a grift in the days before the internet made fact checking so much easier. Even better, Branham frequently claimed to pray for and heal the granddaughter of famous

and beloved founder of modern nursing Florence Nightingale. Said he did that at a London airport. Branham's campaign even produced photos of an emaciated woman who they said was Nightingale's granddaughter. But there's a little teensy tiny problem with his claim. Florence Nightingale never had any children. She never adopted any children. So she couldn't have had any grandchildren, could she? Not even through marriage, because she never married.

She also only had one sibling, a sister, who also never had kids. So she doesn't even have any direct descendants of any kind. Another lazy lie. Two of so, so, so many. Slick Willie's entire public persona and alleged devotion to God was clearly an act. American newspapers back in the 1940s and 50s, back with the mainstream press, was far more reluctant to attack the credibility of a popular so-called man of God that now they frequently wrote accounts of how people Willie supposedly faith-healed as he traveled the country taking people's money were never in fact healed as Branham claimed.

Dude was also caught by the IRS cheating on his taxes even though his church had a non-profit tax-free status, I believe, and he claimed the world would end before the 1960s did, which obviously didn't happen. And then this dipshit who even claimed that he was a prophet of God in his final years and that his word was as, you know, true to God's word as scripture, you know, samezies, died in 1965 at the age of 56 due to injuries sustained in a car wreck and by the time he died, Willie was labeled as the leader of a doomsday cult by many and was banned from almost every Pentecostal church in America thanks to his grifting. And it was this dipshit who spread his

bullshit brand of evangelical Christianity throughout Africa and who influenced cult leader Paul McKenzie more than any other single religious figure. So cool cool cool. Oh and there are still millions of people to this day who think that William Fuckhead Branham was a righteous man of God. Magical thinking. It just lets you worm your way around even the most blatant, pesky old facts. Just keep believing whatever you want to believe. Now to really understand Branham's grift, and thus the grift of the Melindi cult that he would influence tremendously, we'll have to go back to Pentecostalism's roots. Since this is the branch

this particular brand of crazy comes from. Pentecostalism is a movement within evangelical Christianity that places special emphasis on having a direct personal experience with God through the baptism of the Holy Spirit as described in the biblical account of the day of the Pentecost in the book of Acts from chapter 2 verses 2 through 11. When the day of Pentecost came they were all together in one place. Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting. They saw what seemed to be tongues of fire that separated and came to rest on each of them. All of them were filled with the Holy

Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit enabled them. Now they were staying in Jerusalem, God fearing Jews from every nation under heaven. When they heard this sound, a crowd came together in bewilderment because each one heard their own language being spoken. Utterly amazed, they asked, aren't all these who are speaking Galileans? Then how is it that each of us hears them in our native tongue? Parthians, Medes, Elamites, residents of Mesopotamia, Judea, Cappadocia, Pontus in Asia, Phrygia, and Pamphylia, Egypt, and the parts of Libya near Cyrene, visitors from Rome, both Jews and converts to Judaism, Cretans and Arabs. We hear them declaring the wonders of God in our own tongues.

So speaking in tongues clearly to me, sorry I had to kind of fight through some of those words. It's not a lot of words I'm saying every day in that one section. A bunch of old nations, most of which that don't exist anymore. Speaking in tongues clearly to me is to be able to speak in a magical way, like what they're saying here Where everything you say can be understood by everyone who can hear you in their own native tongue in their language But since that is literally impossible for anyone to do what people do now when they say that they're speaking in tongues is The exact opposite of what it says there to me

They speak gibberish that literally no one can understand because they're not speaking any language at all. And such powerful proof that oftentimes people just believe what they want to believe because they want to believe it no matter how nonsensical it is. To be fair the gift of speaking in tongues is also based in 1st Corinthians chapter 12 verses 4 through 11. I think this is where some of the confusion comes in, in my opinion. There are different kinds of gifts but the same spirit distributes them. There are different kinds of services but the same

Lord. There are different kinds of working but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work. Now to each one the manifestation of the spirit is given for the common good. To one there is given through the spirit a message of wisdom. To another a message of knowledge by means of the same spirit. To another faith by the same spirit. To another gifts of healing by the that one spirit. To another miraculous powers. To another prophecy. To another distinguishing between spirits. To another speaking in different kinds of tongues. And to still another the kinds of tongues and to still another

the interpretation of tongues. All these are the work of one and the same spirit and he distributes them to each one just as he determines. And that gets interpreted as proof that you can talk in gibberish, different kinds of tongues, and that another person, an interpreter, will tell others present what your gibberish actually meant, the interpretation of tongues. But when viewed alongside the verses I just went over in Acts, isn't it obvious that this would mean that one person would have the supernatural ability to speak other languages

they don't already know, other real languages that people understand, that they could use to spread the gospel, and that another gift would be to understand others speaking a language they don't know so they could again help spread the gospel by receiving the Lord's messages from people speaking in tongues that are foreign to them, right? I mean back when people didn't have Babel or Rosetta Stone or Google Translate, you know, those would be some pretty handy gifts for doing some missionary work. What do I know? Here I am just applying some common sense and logic to what was written. How stupid of me? Oh my heck. Why do I waste my time with such things?

Anyway, essentially Pentecostals believe that faith must be powerfully experiential. As in you feel that shit in your bones, but seriously you feel it in your body. Experience visions, speaking tongues, etc. It's not something found merely through ritual or contemplation. Like whereas Quakers, for example, tend to root spiritual experience in quiet reflection, and Catholics experience a relationship with God with the priesthood serving as a sort of intermediary, Pentecostals root their relationship with Christ in explosive expressions that usually involve the entire body. Shouting, screaming, wriggling around on the floor, miraculous healing to the laying on of hands.

Pentecostals are known for raising their hands while singing, praying aloud in a fervent manner, sometimes jubilantly running through the aisles during church services, cries of thank you Jesus and hallelujah, or other spontaneous expressions of praise and love for God are very very common. My grandfather on my dad's side, Bill Cummins, was a Pentecostal preacher for most of his life. So when I was a kid, I would listen to his sermons, you know, here and there at whatever assembly of God church he was pastoring at. Yeah, it's not what you're used to. If it's not what you're used if it's not what you're used to That shit is wild. You know people get taken with the spirits. They're they're making noises

The one might I don't know normally equate with an insane asylum and I'm not joking People start loudly babbling in an incomprehensible language. Some people have what looks like full-blown epileptic seizures, end up convulsing on the floor, screaming out like, you know, like maybe somebody should call an ambulance kind of screams. Here's a few sound bites from actual Pentecostal sermons where the faithful are really getting filled up with some. I pray in Jesus name, in Jesus name, in Jesus' name, in Jesus' name. Oh yes, strengthen him, strengthen this Christian fellow in the name of Jesus. Oh yes, oh yes, Jesus.

Oh yes. He's going back and forth there from English and Tunks. And then here is a clip from a different Pentecostal church where the band really gets into it. It helps whip folks up into a religious ecstasy. And there is so much shit going on right here in this video. One guy just shaking his head violently back and forth. Another guy looks like he's trying to do the backstroke. Some ladies dancing on their toes while screaming, looks like she's crying.

There's another guy spinning really hard. People are, you know, stopping him from falling down. Some random guy in overalls looks like he's out of a weird horror movie, doing some weird little fucking thing with his feet, skittering back and forth. I mean, there's some people are laughing Some people are crying some people look angry a lot of fucking shit going on Pandemonium So, yeah, it's a It's a very different, emotive experience.

Like other Christians, Pentecostals believe that one must be saved by repenting of one's sins, accepting Jesus as Lord and Savior, thus being forgiven of sins. As another Christian sect, water baptism is essential following one's decision to commit oneself to Christ. Technically, I used to be Pentecostal. That's the only denomination I have ever been baptized into. However, water baptism, not the same as the baptism of the Holy Ghost in the Pentecostal faith, which is a distinct spiritual experience, manifested as some sort

of other worldly intervention, like being given the gift of speaking in tongues. This is regarded as a gift from God available to Christians of any denomination. And though some branches of Pentecostalism hold that speaking in tongues is essential for salvation. I actually remember my dad talking to me about how that mandate really bothered my uncle, who never felt compelled to speak in tongues despite being a lifelong Pentecostal. Others don't see this as essential to salvation. One thing that's important to remember is that Pentecostalism is not a church in and of itself, but rather a movement that includes many different churches. It's a branch of

Christianity that has many new little branches continually emerging from it. Like any other branch of any other religion, it's you know constantly mutating and evolving. It's also a movement of renewal or revival within other denominations. There are, for example, you know, Baptist churches that are also Pentecostal. It's worth noting that it's not always easy to see if a church is Pentecostal because many Pentecostal denominations don't include the word Pentecostal in the name. So it could just say Baptist, but they might have a Pentecostal flair to it. In the West,

Pentecostalism is strong in a lot of so-called non-denominational churches full of mostly black members. It's also the basis for numerous American and Australian mega churches such as the Hillsong Church. One of the world's largest churches, the Yon-do, a full gospel church in Seoul, South Korea, where up to 250,000 people attend each Sunday, is a Pentecostal church. That's fucking crazy. Currently, that's so many people. Currently, there are two basic streams

or strains of Pentecostalism. The more widespread one adheres to baptism in the name of the Trinity, the Father, the Son, the Holy Ghost. Second group, often known as Jesus Name or Oneness, Pentecostals, tend to be even more radical in their expression of beliefs, and they adhere strictly to the text found in Acts 2 38 indicating that

believers should repent and be baptized in Jesus name. Hard stop. One is Pentecostals require the rebaptism of those who have been previously baptized in the name of the Trinity because they don't think that counts. They believe Jesus is the only dude you need to achieve salvation and you shouldn't include anybody else Not even the other parts of the Godhead. It's like a it's taboo. No other name of Jesus. Nice try, Holy Spirit Stop trying to steal JC's fucking baptismal thunder you attention-hungry diva. It's not always about you ghost Old slick Willy Branham would adhere to this strain of teaching But before we take another look at slick Willy in order to connect him to Africa and the teachings of Paul McKenzie

Let's examine the beginnings of Pentecostalism in the US and how that would set the stage for Pentecostalism to be spread to the far reaches of the world It all began with something called the Azusa Street Revival The Azusa Street Revival would be led by William J. Seymour, a black preacher who had grown up in extreme poverty in rural Louisiana. When this Willy's father died, 21-year-old Seymour became the main provider for his family. As he tried to scrape together enough money to support his mom and seven siblings amid a rising tide of racism, he made the decision to move north.

In 1895, he moved to Indianapolis, where he attended a Methodist Episcopal Church and became a born-again Christian. Also in Indianapolis Willie was introduced to faith healing, foot washing, the imminent second coming of Christ, and separation from the world in actions, belief, and lifestyle, including not wearing jewelry or necklaces. Too sinful! The fuck you doing Edith? A diamond necklace? Really? Ugh, why are you hanging it right above your tits? Why is it pointing towards your cleavage?

You want people to look? To imagine what it would feel like to suck on them titties? Answer me Edith! You think it's funny? You think it's funny to damn men's souls by causing the lust after burying their faces in damn titties? Are you wearing that necklace? Because you want me to slap some lubricant lotion between them titties and rock my hard cock back and forth until I come another necklace. Not gonna happen, Edith.

No, fuck all that noise, Satan. You can keep your jewels. I'll keep my soul. Thank you very much. To help with the devil. But for real about the necklaces. The church he went to thought that they were very sinful. Seymour would continue learning about Christianity in Indianapolis. I was going to say Indy and then I tried to say Indianapolis right after and what came

out was like, Indianapolis? Have you been to Indianapolis? But anyway, Seymour would continue learning about Christianity and Indy and trying to make money on the side till he contracted smallpox and ended up blinded in his left eye. Damn you devil! Trying to take his sight so he can't see the very people he needs to save. Seymour decided the illness was a sign from God and that he was being called to the ministry.

Okay, yeah sure. Everyone knows God never has enough one-eyed willies preaching for him. Come on now. One-eyed Willie now moved to Houston in 1903 where he preached the teachings of well-known Pentecostal preacher Charles Fox Parham who was leading the growing movement in the Midwest. Pretty bummed Charles's name was not also Willie. Before moving forward Charles Fox Parham also a blatant grifter. He gathered a large amount of donations on multiple occasions by telling followers that he knew exactly what the Ark of the Covenant was. Like for sure, 100%. But of course you would never find it and never give them back their money. He raised money for a compound by selling a device he claimed could turn rocks, just ordinary old rocks,

into gold. Mm-hmm. Seems like if that contraption existed, you wouldn't need to sell it to raise money because you could just make all the fucking gold you wanted. But whatever. He was accused of sexually abusing followers, was even once charged with sodomy for having sex with a man decades younger than him, all while preaching about the sinfulness of homosexuality, of course. And I can go on and on. We can do a whole episode on him. Worth noting that literally every founding member of Pentecostalism I looked into, other than One-Eyed Willie, has a very shady history full of money grab scams. Back to One-Eyed Willie. Jay Seymour now.

Late in 1905, Neely Terry, a black woman, also not named Willie for some stupid reason, who attended a small church pastored by Julia Hutchins in Los Angeles, California, made a trip to visit Houston. While in Houston, she visited Willie Seymour's church. She was impressed with one-eyed Willie's message about speaking in tongues. And once she returned home to LA, she suggested that Willie be invited to speak at her church. Willie received and accepted the invitation in February of 1906. He received financial help and a blessing from Parham for his planned one-month visit. Early in April he preached several times but not all members of the church agreed with his teachings, especially since he himself had not yet spoken in tongues. But he was invited to stay in the home of congregation member Edward S. Lee and he began to hold Bible studies and prayer meetings

there. Willie and a small group of new followers soon relocated to the home of Richard and Ruth Asperey. Asperey. I think it is actually Asperey. Asperey at 216 North Bonnie Bray Street. A couple of whites. One-eyed Willie being taken in now by some dick. Some white dick and his baby Ruth. Fantastic. Now white families from local churches began to attend as well. The group would get together regularly, pray to receive the baptism of the Holy Spirit on April 9th 1906 after five weeks of Seymour's preaching and prayer and three days into an intended 10-day fast, Edward S. Lee, gosh dang it, be spoken in tongues for the first time. Noice! Dropping those freestyle God bars.

Soon, six others began to speak in tongues as well, including Jenny Moore, who would later become Willie Seymour's first wife. Mrs. Seymour! Seymour, that one-eyed Willie! Come on now! A few days later, on April 12th, Willie Seymour himself now spoke in tongues for the first time after praying for it all night long. News of that event spread quickly.

City was stirred. Oh boy, crowds gathered. Services were moved outside to accommodate the crowds who came from all around. People fell down as they approached. They attributed it to God. People were baptized in the Holy Spirit. The sick were said to be healed. They weren't, but they said that.

For several nights, various preachers spoke to crowds of curious and interested onlookers from the front porch of the Asbury home. Members of the audience included people from a broad spectrum of income levels and religious backgrounds, white, black, Latino, poor, rich, a big melting pot in a world that was still deeply segregated, a place where women and men held equal status in a time where women still didn't have the right to vote. Pastor Julia Hutchins, yes a lady, was a pastor. What the fuck? But no, she eventually spoke in tongues as her whole congregation began to attend the meetings

Soon the crowd became very large were full of people speaking in tongues shouting jumping dancing singing moaning She got so wild the front part front porch literally collapsed Forcing the group to begin looking for a new meeting place rock and roll, baby They were fucking they were going hard and roll, baby. Oh, they were fucking, they were going hard. Oh, yeah, yeah, oh yeah. Let's fuck this porch up. Such as I am. A neighbor who witnessed the porch collapse

described this new style of worship as follows. They shouted three days and three nights. It was Easter season. The people came from everywhere. By the next morning, there was no way of getting near the house. As people came in they would fall under God's power and the whole city was stirred. They shouted until the foundation of the house gave way, but no one was hurt. That's incredible.

The group eventually discovered an available building at 312 Azusa Street in downtown LA, which had originally been constructed as an African Methodist Episcopal Church in what was then a very impoverished part of town. Rent just eight bucks a month, equivalent to 280 bucks roughly today. So that is quite a deal. Since the previous church had moved out, the building had served as a wholesale house, a warehouse, a lumber yard, stockyards, tombstone shop, that's random, had been most recently used as a stable with rooms for rent upstairs, which meant that congregants gathered amid swarms of flies, stepping over discarded

lumber and plaster on the floor. Nonetheless, it was secured and cleaned in preparation for services. And One-Eyed Willie held the first church meeting April 14th, 1906. Church services were held on the first floor where pews were placed in a rectangular pattern. Some of the pews were simply long wooden planks sat on top of empty nail kegs. There was no elevated platform for the preacher to stand on as the

ceiling was only eight feet high. Wasn't even a pulpit. William Seymour usually sat behind two empty shoe boxes, one on top of the other, and he usually rested his head at top or inside the top one during the meeting deep in prayer. By mid-May 1906, anywhere from 300 to 1500 people would attempt to fit into the building, all of them from different backgrounds, men, women, children, black, white, Asian, Native American, rich, poor, illiterate, educated. Many of them flocked to LA from outside the city after hearing about the Azusa Street Revival, eager to participate in this new exciting form of worship. Indeed, those who participated reported glowingly about the experience, saying most often, I am saved, sanctified, and filled with the Holy Ghost.

Many of them reported speaking in tongues themselves, even experiencing healing miracles. But not everyone thought that the Azusa Street revival was amazing. The LA Times described it as follows, meetings are held in a tumbledown shack on Azusa Street and the devotees of the weird doctrine practice the most fanatical rites, preach the wildest theories and work themselves into a state of mad excitement in their particular zeal. Colored people and a sprinkling of whites compose the congregation, and night is made hideous in the neighborhood by the howling of the worshippers, who spend hours swaying forth and back in a nerve-wracking attitude of prayer and supplication.

They claim to have the gift of tongues and to be able to understand the babble." What asshole wrote that? Who dared to shit on this righteous parade? What the frick? That sounds like some shoot that... Well, I would write. Perhaps to counter this negative press, numerous other articles would be printed saying similar things. The church started printing its own newspaper called the Apostolic Faith. The Apostolic... Excuse me, the Apostolic... Oh my god, Apostolic. The Apostolic Faith and many secular reports

advertise the events of the Azusa Street Revival internationally. Thousands of individuals visited the mission in order to witness it firsthand. At the same time, thousands of people were now leaving Azusa Street with intentions of evangelizing both domestically and abroad. Reverend K.E.M. Spooner visited the revival in 1909 and became one of the Pentecostal Holiness Church's most effective missionaries in Africa, working amongst the Swana people of Botswana. A.G. Jarr and his wife were sent from Azusa Street as missionaries to Calcutta, India, where

they managed to start a small revival. Speaking in tongues in India did not enable them to speak the native language of Bengali for some reason. It's weird. I guess the Indians were just enable them to speak the native language of Bengali for some reason. Weird. I guess the Indians were just too sinful to receive the good word. I mean, they are brown demon snake folk. So how could they really communicate with God? But One-Eyed Willie was also a brown demon snake person. What the frick is going on? Some kind of devil trickery is afoot.

Get out of foot. Get out of here. The Gars later traveled to China where they arrived in Hong Kong, began to spread Pentecostalism in mainland China, at least to some people who spoke English or through translators who spoke English and Mandarin Chinese. They did this mainly by working through other Protestant churches and organizations that had already been established. Gar will end up significantly contributing to early Pentecostalism through his later work in redefining the quote, biblical evidence doctrine and changing the doctrine from a belief that speaking in tongues was explicitly for evangelism to a belief that speaking in tongues was a gift for the spiritual empowerment of all.

A ton of missionaries will be sent out from that one little church on Azusa Street. Some 38 left in October of 1906 alone. Within two years the movement has spread to over 50 nations, including Britain, Scandinavia, Germany, Holland, Egypt, Syria, Palestine, South Africa, Hong Kong, China, India. And now Christian leaders are visiting the Azusa Street Church from all over the world. But then by 1913 the revival at Azusa Street had lost its early momentum and most of the media's intention and crowds had left by 1915. Seymour remained there with his wife Jenny for the rest of their lives

as pastors of a small, almost exclusively African-American congregation, though he often made short trips to help establish other smaller revivals later in life. But even though the Azusa Street Revival was now over, Pentecostalism was not. It was spreading like wildfire. And now let's circle back to the man who would later become influential to the Melindi cult thousands of miles and decades later, William Branham. Right after today's first of two mid-show sponsor breaks.

Thanks for sticking around. Now let's circle back to the man who would later become influential to the Malindi cult, thousands of miles and decades later, William Branham. Branham led a strange and very interesting life. He was born near Burnsville, Kentucky on April 6th, 1909, when over in LA, the Azusa Street revival was in full swing. He was oldest of ten children born to Charles and Ella Harvey Branham. Later he would claim that when he was born, quote, light come whirling through the window about the size of a pillow and circled around where I was and went down on the bed.

Yeah, I'm gonna call it bullshit. I'm gonna call bullshit on that one. His early life as he reported it when he was running his scams would be full of mystical experiences. Of course, Coal Leader 101, write yourself a new and mystical backstory. He'll claim that when he was three he began to hear heavenly entities speaking to him. That same year his family moved to Jeffersonville, Indiana. When he was seven years old, he'd say that God told him to avoid smoking and drinking alcoholic beverages. A commandment he would say he always followed. As he described it, a human voice just as audible as mine is said, don't you never

drink smoke or defile your body in any way. There'll be a work for you to do when you get older. Why it like to scare me to death. You could imagine how a little fellow felt. I dropped those buckets and home I went just as hard as I could go, screaming the top of my voice. No, he didn't. No, it never happens like Willie. Uh-uh. That's what he claimed. He'll often tell his later audiences that he grew up in deep poverty, often going with out even

proper clothes. Branham called his childhood a quote, terrible life. Not true again. Contrary to his deep poverty poverty claim Branham's father owned a large and successful farm near Utica or Utica Utica and I think it's probably Utica, Indiana and he also worked for OH OH Wathen owner of RE Wathen distilleries in nearby Louisville, Kentucky making lots of illegal liquor Wathen was a supplier for Al Capone's bootlegging operations, a big supplier. Later, William would tell his audiences that he was required to help his father produce and sell liquor throughout Prohibition. So that's interesting. So God didn't want Willie to ever drink alcohol.

He was very clear on that. But he didn't say shit about Willie helping his dad make some coin, sling and hooch to others. Huh. Now let's talk about his religious life. Though he had supposedly heard voices his entire life, voices from heaven, he didn't make the connection to God until much later in life. Which literally makes no fucking sense whatsoever. It kills me when people like this become wildly successful. Even though their story is just like lazy nonsense, it drives me crazy, Brandon told his audiences that he had left home at the age of 19 in search of a better life traveling to Phoenix, Arizona, where he worked on a

ranch for two years. And then he began a supposedly successful career in boxing. There's literally no evidence whatsoever of this dude ever working as a prize fighter, of even winning or losing a single professional match. Also, he looked like a scrawny little dork, small frame, delicate looking hands, weak looking in the shoulder. I highly doubt this dude could ever throw or take a significant punch. While Branham was away whooping so much ass in the ring, his brother Edward, at the age of 18, shot and killed a

Jeffersonville man and was charged with murder. Edward then died of a sudden illness only a short time later. Slick Willie returned to Jeffersonville in June of 1929 to attend the funeral. He'll later say that this is the first time he heard a prayer. Again, weird, right? So God told him, like God's speaking to him as a kid a bunch, told him to never touch alcohol or cigarettes, but never once told him to go to church. Never once told him to pray. Everyone's told him to get baptized. Just gonna let his soul remain in peril. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. Soon afterwards, he gets hurt working for a utility company and says he is overcome by gas and has to be hospitalized and now God starts telling him to go to church.

Shortly thereafter, he begins attending the first Pentecostal Baptist Church at Jeffersonville, where he converted to Christianity, thanks, as I said earlier, to Roy Davis, the Ku Klux Klan dude, a man who later became the national imperial wizard, the leader of the KKK. And within a year, literally bankrolled by the KKK, Branham is traveling alongside KKK leader Davis and participated in religious revivals in other states and actively recruiting new KKK members. Also at the time of Branham's conversion, the first Pentecostal Baptist Church of Jeffersonville was a Baptist church that adhered to some Pentecostal doctrines including divine healing and speaking in tongues. Branham

would report that his baptism at the church was done using the Jesus name formula of oneness Pentecostalism. Soon he started holding his own tent revival meetings, working solo, and in his first month he would report converting 14 people. He later told his followers that his ministry was accompanied by miraculous signs from the very beginning that when he was baptizing converts on June 11, 1933, in the Ohio River near Jeffersonville a bright light descended upon him. Per one of his sermons I was baptizing down on the river my first converts and the 17th person I was baptized and I started to to put him under the water and just in a whirl come from the heavens above and here come that light shining down hundreds and hundreds of people on the

bank right at two o'clock in the afternoon in June and it hung right over where I was at a voice spoke from there and said as John the Baptist was sent for the forerunner of the first coming of Christ You've got a you have a message that will bring forth the forerunner of the second coming of Christ and it He'd like to have scared me to death coming of Christ and it he lacked to have scared me to death. From what I can tell no one else who was there heard this voice just just slick willy huh. Around the same time he started dating his future wife Amelia Hope Brumbach Brandon married Brumbach Brumbach right Brumbach in June of 1934 with Amelia decide he will become the pastor of his own church, continuing to travel, hold tent revival meetings,

where he allegedly inspired people to speak in tongues and cured their illnesses. But then three years later, July 22nd, 1937, his wife dies of pulmonary tuberculosis, and then his daughter Sharon Rhodes, who'd been born with her mother's illness, dies just four days later. And that is unbelievably tragic. just four days later and that is unbelievably tragic. Willy will now use this tragedy though to pull on the heartstrings of his congregation with more bullshit and undoubtedly get them to give him more money. That grosses me out. He's gonna use his wife and daughter's death to tell his lies, to get people's money. He told his audiences that his wife and daughter died because he failed to embrace Pentecostalism. He wasn't Pentecostal. Even though he had been Pentecostal for fucking years. He was before he met his

wife, Pentecostal, preacher. His wife was Pentecostal. This is nonsense. Branham said he made several suicide attempts following their deaths, but that also conflicts with historical evidence. But this claim, being a God-fearing man who suffered so much because he hadn't fully accepted the glory and divine righteousness of the Pentecostal faith, that propelled him to great heights. He would take on a prominent role in a rising tide of massive healing revivals that occurred in the U.S. in the 1940s and 50s. This period of revivals was described by Christian writer John Crowder as, quote, the most extensive

public display of miraculous power in modern history. Religious historians name uh Branham's June 1946 St. Louis meetings as the inauguration of the healing revival period. Branham said he had received an angelic visitation on May 7th that year commissioning his worldwide ministry. According to Time magazine, over 12 days in June, Branham drew a crowd of over 4,000 sick people in St. Louis who desired healing and he diligently prayed for each and every one of them. Following the St. Louis meetings, Branham launched a tour of small oneness Pentecostal churches across the Midwest and the southern states from which stem reports of healing and even one report of a resurrection from death. That's fun. By August, his fame has spread widely. Healed meetings that month in Jonesboro, Arkansas, drew a crowd of 25,000 with attendees from 28 different states.

Like with Azusa, the Azusa Street Revival, Branham's revivals were interracial from their inception were noted for their racial openness during the period of widespread racial unrest, which is surprising for a dude bankrolled by the KKK, a man who did not hide his love for the KKK in later interviews, a guy who would preach that whole, some of us looking at everyone with a little excess melanin, our demon snake folk, that bullshit. I guess he must have reasoned that money from both white and black folks spend exactly the same. Why not grift everybody? An African American minister participated in the St. Louis meetings,

claimed to be healed during the revival, helping to bring Branham a sizable African American following from the early days of his revival. Branham held interracial meetings even in the southern states, using a flimsy rope to divide the crowd by race in accordance with local law. He seemed to have a way with these crowds, unlike other revivalists of the area. He spoke quietly, only occasionally raising his voice. Wasn't bombastic. After being built up by a couple of other preachers, he would appear before the crowd

relating stories about his personal experiences and then requesting God to, quote, confirm his message with two or three faith inspired miracles. Supplicants seeking healing submitted prayer cards to Branham's campaign team stating their name, address, and condition before these you know sermons. Branham's team would then select a number of submissions to be prayed for personally by Branham and they would organize a prayer line. After completing the sermon he would proceed with the prayer line where he would pray for the sick.

Branham would often tell supplicants what they suffered from, what their name was, their address. He would pray for each of them, pronouncing some or all of them healed. Branham would also call out a few members still in the audience who had not been accepted into the prayer line, stating their illness and pronouncing them healed. And it looked like a miracle,

especially because Branham told his audiences that he was able to determine their illness, share details of their lives, and pronounce them healed as a result of an angel who was guiding him the whole time. Oh, thank you. Thanks, angel buddy. Appreciate the help. But of course, there was no angel. There was no cards handed to him by his team. Adding to his theatrical presentation, a presentation in front of an audience of people all worked up into religious ecstasy like the people you know in the clips I played earlier right people getting all fucking worked up this circus-like atmosphere Slick Willie now says that the angel has provided the vibrations he's felt in his head oh I feel it when he touched the sick person said oh you healed! And then he communicated to the nature of the other, oh you got the gingivitis! Or something, you know? Oh you got, oh you got the clap, oh no you got the pubic glass!

But he would not then guarantee healing. Gives himself a nice out, smart. In addition to these magical vibrations in his hand, Branham claimed to see a ball of fire or a celestial light circle the room and land on those he was supposed to heal. People who had filled out cards before. Later in 1948, he also claimed to be able to see the events of people's lives from their childhood to the present. Oh wow. Making people think he was a... he's a fucking wizard. Some kind of seer from the Old Testament. Nice! By the 1950s, Willy was traveling internationally to Finland, Sweden, Norway, South Africa, Portugal, Italy, India, Switzerland, Germany, more.

He would use all this to further bolster his mythos with some of the lies I mentioned earlier, right? Like healing the dying King George VI, you know, healing Florence Nightingale's non-existent granddaughter. Two other especially dumb lies he told were claiming to stop in Egypt in 1954 and meeting with King Farouk, even though Farouk had been deposed two years earlier in 1952, not King at that time, not living in Egypt at that time. The other especially dumb lie was Willy claiming to visit the grave of Buddha while he was in India. But Buddha doesn't have a grave.

He was cremated. And his ashes spread over multiple locations. But who fucking cares about the truth? Come on everybody! Oh damn! God damn it! Move your feet! Forget what I said earlier! I want to start punching holes in the wall or become a prophet!

Oh man... Sleek Willy is also doing shit. Shit that journalists caught him doing, like bringing the same damn actors from city to city to pose as people who are paralyzed to be miraculously risen once he healed them, but like over and over. You know, he'd rise them up, oh my god they can walk!

Oh my gosh! Oh walk! the power of Christ. Oh, look at him. Everybody's crying And then that person would be paralyzed again for the start of the next show in the next city and they were shows These revivals they were just shows theater pomp and circumstance Something to sell to grift right get donations flown into predatory pockets like other bullshit faith, this soulless fuck would help get an untold amount of believers killed. One such case was Carol Strubler, who at the age of nine, 1954, was prayed for by Branham at a recorded revival in Washington, DC. One newspaper reported Reverend William Branham of Jeffersonville, Indiana prayed for her and assured the heartbroken mother that her daughter would live. A week later, the mother told this newspaper she was confident the evangelist's words were true, so much so she canceled a scheduled visit to St. Christopher's Hospital in Philadelphia.

Well, Struehler will die of acute leukemia just three weeks after Brandon told her mom that she was healed of a fatal sickness. Another kid, and she might have died anyway, you know, but really? Now that mom's like, ah, no, we're good. Cancels treatment. What a motherfucker. Another case was four-year-old Donnie Morton diagnosed with a rare brain condition. At recording meetings in California during April of 1951, Brandon pronounced Morton healed. Totally healed. Family then chose to not pursue traditional medical care. And little boy died six months later in October.

Probably could have lived. Maybe could have lived. Because of shit like this, Willie would frequently be banned from preaching in places like South Africa and Norway. And as I mentioned earlier, he would face legal trouble in the US. The IRS will charge Branham with tax evasion in 1956. Branham's case was eventually settled out of court when Branham admitted to tax evasion in 1956. Branham's case was eventually settled out of court when Branham admitted to tax evasion and agreed to pay a $40,000 penalty equivalent to about $400,000 today. Also in 1956, Branham helped launch and popularize the ministry of one Jim Jones, that Jim Jones,

founder and leader of the People's Temple Cult, one of the most infamous cult leaders, one of the most murderous cult leaders of all time. What a crazy connection. Joan needed a religious headliner to endorse his new ministry and he invited Slick Willie, for price I'm sure, to share the platform with him at a self-organized religious convention held at the Cattle Tabernacle Auditorium in Indianapolis from June 11th to June 15th, 1956, when grifters collide! Unite! Then, started in the late 1950s, Branham began to transition towards a teaching ministry, speaking on the controversial doctrinal issues he had avoided for most of his public career.

His views will be called Branhamism and they will be foundational to the Malindi cult. His main tenant is faith healing. Branham believed or rather claimed to believe, I don't think for a second that he bought what he was selling, that literally all sickness was the result of demonic activity and could be overcome, all of it, by the faith of the person desiring healing. Brandon argued that God was required to heal when faith was present. He fucking had to, you guys, all right? By law, by God law. If you prayed hard enough and were devout enough,

he literally, by a holy space ghost, coast to coast heaven law, had to heal your illness. This led him to conclude that individuals who failed to be healed, well, it was their fault. Like those little kids earlier, they fucked up. They didn't pray hard enough. They lacked adequate faith. They brought that shit on themselves.

That is such an evil thing to put on people. Truly him pushing his belief on people makes me so glad he died in a car wreck. Uh, that belief is so damaging. It's the, it's the height of victim blaming. Oh, your mom died of cancer. God sucks that she didn't, she didn't love you enough. Stick around. You know, I mean, she could have been a better person.

She could have, she could have given herself, you know, more fully over to God. Had more faith, you know, if she wanted, if she wanted to stick around to her, you know, for her family, easy peasy. That's the kind of thoughts this belief puts in people's heads. It feels so much arrogance and destroys so much empathy. Very related to the worst elements of prosperity gospel preaching, right? It's also part of that just world theory, AKA aka just world fallacy bullshit, that cognitive bias. I see a lot of people self-servingly employ that assumes that people get what they deserve. If you're healthy and doing great in life, it's because you're the best. You are so

devout and righteous, good for you. People not doing well, the sick and the poor, don't waste a single tear on those pieces of shit. Fuck them! They deserve their misery. They brought that shit on themselves. Good. How convenient. One of Branham's twisted doctrines, his teachings on Christian restorationism, has had the most lasting influence on modern Christianity. This teaching holds that Christianity should return to a form mirroring the primitive Christian church. And why should it do that? Who cares? on modern Christianity. This teaching holds that Christianity should return to a form mirroring the primitive Christian church. And why should it do that? Who cares? Who cares?

Haven't you learned yet that none of this has to make sense? This teaching supports the restoration of apostles and prophets, signs and wonders, spiritual gifts, spiritual warfare, and the elimination of so-called non-primitive features of modern Christianity. Branham taught that by the end of the very first century of Christianity, the church had, quote, been contaminated by the entrance of an antichrist spirit. Oh, I was wondering when he was gonna bring that up. How the damn tricksy devil poisons everything! Even the early church. That's why we can't have nice stuff. Because Satan! Oh yeah! Go on, get out here get devil so much striper

this suck 80 striper only by the way I heard the devil join the band sometime around 1990 and that's why you can't trust our later albums and that's why I won't play that evil shit anyway because that early demonic contamination the church stopped following the pure word of God and was seduced into a false form of Christianity. Gosh dang it. And because of that, Slick Willie wrote that all denominational churches, all of them were hybrid institutions, some Jesus, some devil, and thus sterile and doomed to death. Oh, and the Roman Catholic Church had the mark of the beast, if you didn't know. While all Protestant churches except his, maybe a few other non-denominational,

oh my god, non-denominational churches, were the image of the beast. And when all the denominations, how many times am I gonna have to say that fucking word, came together as a true original church, Brandon said that would initiate the rapture and Jesus's return. Are you following all this? If not, don't worry. It actually doesn't make a lot of sense, but it is what the man preached. Similarly, he preached the doctrine of annihilationism. That's kind of a cool word, uh, which held that, uh, the damned will be totally destroyed after the final judgment.

Their spirits not trapped in hell, but just completely gone. Noice! Just fucking poof, bro! Get ready to get annihilated, heathens! Catholics, Muslims, Jews, Hindus, Buddhists, most Protestants, everyone else, you're fucked. I can't wait until you literally do not exist on any level. Hell yeah! Ding!

Yippee! Then as Brandon's ministry progressed in his final years, he increasingly condemned modern culture. That would be especially influential for the Melindecote. He taught that immoral women and secular education were the two central sins of modern culture. You hear that, bicycles? Let me repeat that. Women, women who do shit like let dudes ride their fucking bikes into ditches and jump them off ramps and try and pull some cool tricks when they don't have rings on their handlebars. Women who don't let their husbands always tell them what to do and submit. Women who do shit like dance to popular music and wear red lipstick

these fucking harlots And also anyone who's educated look at look at you college degree uppity fuck faces scientists teacher librarians, yeah You're making God angry You're chappin as holy bottom. He's mad as heck. He's not gonna take it anymore. Gosh dang it. Random viewed formal education is quote Satan's snare for intellectual Christians who rejected the supernatural and quote Satan's tool for obscuring the simplicity of the message and the messenger. Ditto.

You know, there's not a lot the slick-willing I agree on but we do both understand that the dumber culture is the better it is. If it was up to me, I would fucking blow up every school in America right now. I'd burn every book. It's not the Bible. I'd have doctors and professors and librarians publicly executed. And that'd be a good start. That would just be a good start towards fixing our culture. And if you don't agree with me, well, you're demonic. It's just that simple. Not today Satan. Get fricked. Go on now. Go on now. Yeah, pushing that button again. Probably too many times. Slick Willy denounced cigarettes, alcohol, all television, all rock and roll.

Many other forms of worldly amusement like bullying. Yeah, go ahead, Damon. Spare and strike your way straight to hell. Willy's ideology of rejecting the modern world was like a built-in cult creator. Following teachings of rejecting the modern world helped get the Malindi cult isolated out on a compound. Slick Willie even more strongly condemned the quote immorality of modern women here here. He taught the women with short hair were breaking God's commandments and he quote ridiculed women's desire to artificially beautify themselves with makeup. Yeah, no shit. Lipstick and a pixie cut?

Uh-uh. I literally start screaming and running away in fear for my soul if I see a woman with a pixie cut and lipstick. I'm actually recording today's episode with two broken legs. Yeah. I was on the third floor of this office building the other day. Saw this redhead wearing coral lip gloss, foundation, mascara, eyeliner, and a skirt.

Didn't even cover her knees. And heels. And this form-fitting top with a push-up bra and low-cut revealing ample cleavage. And I literally screamed, you'll not have my soul, devil woman! And I fucking threw myself out of the nearest window. My legs might be shattered, but my soul's intact. Ten out of ten would do again. Willie believed women were guilty of committing adultery

if their appearance was intended to motivate men to lust, as in wearing a skirt. He felt that was literally the same in God's eye as just fucking some dude outside your marriage, and he viewed a woman's place as quote, in the kitchen. Finally someone gets it. He got it. He just got how life works. Citing the creation story which Eve is taken from Adam's side, Brandon taught that women were essentially the worst. They would take their eyes off of them for a second. The price start fucking a snake or something.

It was insane. What he actually wrote towards the end of his life about women. If you take their eyes off of them for a second, the price start fucking a snake or something. It was insane. What he actually wrote towards the end of his life about women. Here's one thing he wrote. There is nothing designed to stoop so low or be filthy but a woman. A dog can't do it.

A hog can't do it. A bird can't do it. No animal is immoral, nor it can be, for it is not designed so it can be. A female hog can't be immoral. A female dog can't be immoral. A female bird can't be immoral. This music's a little bit distracting. A woman is the only thing that can do it. She is designed alone for filth and unclean living. A dog can't and no other female can. It's just the woman that can.

A dog or any other animal is once a year. And that for her babies. Not for sexual pleasure, but for her babies. The old sow hog, the old slut dog. Once a year, one moment, that's for her babies. But a woman is designed for any time she desires. A woman is a byproduct of a man. She's not even in the original creation.

That's exactly right. By her beauty and her sex control, her shape that was given to her by Satan, the byproduct that Satan did, she is sent to deceive sons of God. She can sway more of them to hell than any other instrument Satan has got. That's exactly right. Only a piece, scrap, made of a man.

To deceive him by a God made it right here, he has proved it. That's what she was made for. I wonder what his wife thought of that. He had remarried in 1941. He also had another daughter. God, what a great dude. What a righteous, hot, hard father-daddy, patriarch. By the way, he did crack me up with the term old slut dog.

Fucking what? I just pictured this guy just being mad at female dogs too. You old slut dog. Oh, look at you getting humped. Look at you getting humped by Satan, you old slut dog, you. This guy's a fucking maniac and he's one of the main founders of Pentecostalism. Uh, man, okay. Sorry. But let's pull it back together now. And of course, Willie believed that Eve, you know, as I said earlier, fucked a snake.

And created races of mud people. Brandon was incredibly racist. Towards the end of his life, despite the interracial beginnings of his church, he publicly supported segregation, openly opposed interracial relationships, and connected people of mixed race ancestry to the whole wicked hybrid race of the serpent. He wrote, what good would a white woman want to... I kind of miss having that clown music actually. What good would a white woman want to have a baby by a colored man making him a moloto child? It's not sensible.

If I was a colored man or a brown man or a yellowed man or a red man, is there people of these? I would be just as happy about it. Yes sir, I sure would. That's the way that my maker wanted me and that's the way I am. Right? Why does man want to tamper with anything for? When man gets into it, he ruins it. Let it alone the way God made it. Let a man be what he is. By the grace of God, let him be. But he has to cause great fusses now causing rights and big fusses.

It's like he had a fucking stroke right before he started talking And everything else across the nations and across the world just because he wanted to stick his head out about something That's the ignorance of the man. That's right. Hibert again Instead of leaving it the way God wants it. He wants to make it his own way He has to do something about it, you know, he has to make his own self a name God be merciful to him. It's a pitiful thing. How is he a real person? I would argue that the quote, ignorance of man, is not understanding that race is a social construct and that we are all just slightly optically different expressions of the

same fucking species. I mean, if you're going to say that God doesn't want you to fuck people who don't look like you, who exactly are you supposed to fuck? Are you just supposed to fuck people with the exact same skin color? Do they have to have the same eye color? Like how far are we gonna take it? Same hair color, same hair texture, same basic body composition as well. Right, is that how you find your soulmate? You just scour the earth to find someone who looks almost identical to yourself? That seems pretty creepy and weird and incestuous. I'm so glad Lindsay doesn't look a lot like me. Transisting to the Malindi cult now. How the hell would this shit appeal to snake folk from Kenya? Well, let's find out right after the second of two mid-show sponsor breaks.

I'm back, baby. Now let's figure out how the hell did William Branham's racist serpent folk strain of Pentecostalism insanity appeal to Kenyans? Well, the Branham's racist serpent folk strain of Pentecostal insanity appealed to Kenyans. Well, the Branhamites reached Kenya in 1970 as part of their worldwide expansion project, wherein they printed over 200 old slick willies dumb shit sermons, putting 300,000 copies into circulation and also paying to produce a William Branham hour show on the radio. Oh, what a bunch of lucky ears to get to hear that. Less than 50 years later, according to a hour show on the radio. Oh, what a bunch of lucky ears to get to hear that Less than 50 years later according to a 2017 book on the subject. There will be roughly a hundred and seven million Pentecostals in Africa and It's thought that a major factor in its rapid spread was how it tends to blend with African indigenous religion

Not not outright denying the existence of other religious figures and spirits But blending them into a greater Pentecostal view of a spiritual world. One of these concepts is the Tanzanian concept of Ngovu. Ngovu can be translated as power, life force, or strength. The Swahili term may refer to physical strength acquired through rest, exercise, eating properly, to political power, or to the power of batteries. But it is also often used to refer to a mysterious invisible power or to the power of batteries, but it is also often used to refer to a mysterious invisible power that influences the course of human life. According to Tanzanian theologian Cosmos Holu or Hule, Bantu people have a highly developed sense of an occult mysterious power which

surrounds and envelops them and which can be used for both good and evil. Bantu believed that this power is somehow inherent in them but must be increased by God, ancestors or witch doctors in order to enable them to resist adversarial powers of evil being. For many Tanzanians good health and fertility as well as success in school, work, business, love, believed to depend upon access to N'Govu. You also need safety and protection against the harmful N'Govu of others, as witches and different spirits always threaten to sabotage the success of you know people. This concept will fit easily into a Pentecostal framework. There are ultimately two sources of N'Govu, God and Satan. Divine N'Govu available to all born-again Christians through

frequent praying, biblical study, sanctification, participation in ritual fellowships, satanic engovu, exactly the opposite. And this engovu is what you feel when you're taken in the Holy Spirit. When you start bouncing around and singing and dancing and speaking in tongues and just getting all excited and worked up. And Lord, if it blows our little minds, let them be blown. Father, we want all of what you have, all of what you have. We thank you.

There's a lady screaming on the floor. There's people calling on hands and knees. It's getting wild! It definitely helped that Kenyans already worshiped their gods with a lot of emotion. A lot of dancing, shouting fits of religious ecstasy. The Pentecostal style of faith expression, you know, very familiar to them. Also the concept of faith healers, very familiar to Kenyans. Before the arrival of Pentecostalism, for many ordinary Kenyans, people we might think of as witch doctors, healers, doing the same shit that faith healers were doing. Traditional healers who claimed to harness good spiritual forces to help you and help block bad forces from harming you, they were already very immersed in the culture. There was a whole industry for them. Popular healers were already traveling from city to city,

advertising services and newspapers on the radio. Some had stalls in city markets, put up posters, sign boards outside their homes and other places. Very common for healers to use titles like Professor and Doctor, indicating that they kept up with modern medical standards, even though they usually didn't, and the title was bullshit, while at the same time possessing traditional knowledge and spiritual powers absent from modern biomedical institutions. Kenyans were already visiting these healers

in large numbers, cases of sickness and infertility, but also in search of financial success, political success, success in love. In a similar way, politicians who wish to be elected are workers who wanted to impress their bosses and gain a promotion. They're seeking assistance from some healer. They'd buy their bullshit snake oil,

most commonly sold in the form of a powder or liquid medicine, which was often poured on the face or the body. Problems related to sex, male potency, fertility, infidelity. Some of the most important sources of income for these healers. They had potions for all kinds of shit. If a woman knows or fears that her husband is being unfaithful, she might ask a healer

for some medicine, usually coming in the form of a small object or powder that she could place in the food she's cooking for her husband. Whenever the husband's away from her, the engulfal of the medicine will cause him to forget about other women and miss his wife. Is the theory. Providing protection against witchcraft and other kinds of spiritual disturbances. Another main task of these healers. Anti-witchcraft medicine usually came in the form of a powder that was placed on a window sill or a doorway. You know, it can be put directly into a person's blood through small wounds as well. All kinds of rituals.

African society particularly Kenyan, Ugandan, Tanzanian, Nigerian, the places that the Malindi cult members would come from Well prepped for the arrival of Pentecostalism and its magical supernatural or supernatural claims You know because they already believed in very similar shit Pentecostalism would take over the traditional role of African healers and then rebrand those traditional healers as players on the devil's team. What a great business move. You know, you let somebody else establish a market for you, then move in on that market and sell the exact same

bullshit that you've now rebranded with a major upgrade. The new medicine won't just cure your earthly ills, it will literally make you immortal. It'll get you to live in heaven forever. And then with your upgraded spiritual product, completely take over the market by advertising that your competitors, i.e. the people who built that market for you, are now demonic and trying to take your soul into hell. Checkmate motherfuckers! Well, Pentecostalism also was familiar in its emphasis on patriarchy. Traditional African society, very patriarchal, already male-led, right?

There's a lot of traditional gender roles. And interestingly, Pentecostalism's rejection of modern... Oh, modern... Oh my gosh. Modern... Modernity? Modern life! Modernity. Modernity. Modernity. Ah, that one I didn't expect it to get me. Short skirts. But anyway, the rejection of modern life. Modern things. Short skirts, haircuts for women. Radio, television, mass media, cigarettes, alcohol, and more. Branded as a rejection of an invasive Western culture in the African Pentecostal mindset. Even though Pentecostalism itself is an

example of invasive Western culture. That's pretty ironic. But so this is how Pentecostalism is able to spread so easily in Kenya and surrounding nations. And slick Willy Brandham's brand of Pentecostalism is the kind the leader of the Malindi cult Paul McKenzie preached. Let me introduce you to Paul before we jump into our timeline. McKenzie founded the Good News International Church in 2003. According to their website, Good News International Ministries established 17th August 2003 by the servant of God P.N. McKenzie.

The church has branches in various regions around Kenya. The ministry has been growing in strength from its early days. Now has a congregation over 1000 in the Melindi Church and more than 3,000 in all the branches. The mission of this ministry is to nurture the faithful holistically in all matters of Christian spirituality as we prepare for the second coming of Jesus Christ through teaching and evangelism. I got to sneak in that second coming message. Little red flag. Your church is maybe a little cultish. Could just say they're trying to save souls, you know, to lead the faithful in a godly life and prepare souls for ascension onto heaven. But no, got to get a little apocalyptic.

I'll continue with the website now. Through the Gospel program End Time Messages viewed through Channel 813 on Star Times Decoders, God's Word-based teachings, preaching and prophecy on End Times decoders, God's Word-based teachings, preaching, and prophecy on end times commonly referred to as eschatology is aired. The program seeks to bring the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ which is free of deceit and man's intellect. The program is aired to you every weekday Monday through Friday 8 a.m. to 9 a.m. and weekends on 8 a.m. to 9 a.m. and 8 p.m. to 9 p.m. The servant of God Paul and Mackenzie has reached many souls and undoubtedly transforming lives with the

gospel of truth as guided by the Holy Spirit. So yeah, so tune in to channel 813. That's where we find the best TV programs once you get up into the 800s. If you turn your dial to the 813th channel, that's where you're gonna find the good shit. Turn your dial to the 813th channel. That's where you're going to find the good shit. Paul will claim to have closed his church in August of 2019, but as we will see soon, that is not true. There will be literal bodies to prove as much. So what did he preach that would lead to so much death?

From his pulpit on a compound, Mackenzie gave hundreds of sermons, many if not most of them with apocalyptic themes. Those sermons were filmed, put on YouTube. We are about to win the battle. Let no one turn back. The journey is about to be accomplished. Read one banner across the screen behind him as he preached. One series of videos on his church's YouTube channel has the caption, End Time Kids, or did have the caption, shows groups of young children delivering messages to the camera. Others culminate in exorcisms in which followers, often women, ride around on the ground while he torments demonic forces within them, part of his alleged evidence that he could speak directly with

God. And these videos referenced in sources must have been removed because I cannot find them. I think he shut down his channels or somebody did. These YouTube channels had thousands of subscribers and a Facebook page set up by his church linked to many of the videos. It is not clear where the sermons were filmed but there is a reference to an upcoming preaching event by Pastor Mackenzie in Nairobi in January of 2020 which contradicts his claim to have ended his preaching activities the previous year. Another theme of Pastor Mackenzie's sermons mirroring a major theme of Willie Branham's, is the idea that formal education is evil. It is satanic and it's used to extort money.

He once preached, they know education is evil, but they use it for their own gains. Those who sell uniforms, write books, those who make pens, all kinds of rubbish. Oh, yeah, man, fucking pens are such rubbish. They use your money to enrich themselves while you become poor. Says the guy enriching himself at the expense of his poor followers In 2017 and again in 2018 Paul is arrested for encouraging children not to go to school as he claimed education was not recognized in the Bible Yeah, buddy. Keep your followers dumb makes it so much easier for them to swallow your bullshit Mackenzie also condemned education for promote for promoting homosexuality through sex education programs.

He told the nation newspaper quotes. I told people education is evil. Children are taught gayism. Why is that word so funny to me? I'm checking out children being taught being taught gayism. Children are taught gayism and lesbianism. I am blown away by how many people still think you can somehow be taught to be gay. I don't know about you, but I'm not that impressionable.

Like no one told me what gender I was supposed to jerk off to as a kid. No one told me to jerk off to the thought specifically of losing my virginity to my neighbor Paula, this hot lady who lived next door on I-13. No one convinced me to jerk off to pictures of nude African women in National Geographic magazines that my grandpa gave me in junior high. I did it because when I found myself staring at them titties or staring at Paula sunbathing in a bikini and imagining what her titties look like, I felt some blood flow into my little weiner. And yeah, it was little, okay? I could have picked a neighbor dude, right? Could have jerked off to pics of naked tribal men in the

same National Geographic magazines, right? Their cocks were out. No one was watching me. I wasn't talking about what I was doing to anybody else. I just chose what I chose because I'm hardwired, clearly, to enjoy it. Women's bodies, not even joking right now. Literally my favorite thing on earth. And whatever's in second place, not even fucking right now literally my favorite thing on earth and whatever is in second place not even fucking close Lindsay was asking me what I liked about her body other day I told her she looked really sexy and I was like all of it I wasn't joking all of it curve over hips little ankles feet where hair flows down onto her neck The way her neck is smaller more delicate than mine and just on and on and on and on

I wasn't taught to appreciate any that no one in my family talked about sexual stuff at all really growing up. I was surrounded by prudes. Just think about how ludicrous it is to think that a teacher could teach your kid to be gay. Who was gonna be straight. Your kid was definitely gonna be straight. And then, ah, fucking science teacher got to him. Like if you're not bisexual, asexual, or pansexual, if you really like playing around with one gender's genitals and really dislike the thought of playing around with the other set of genitals, do you really think that anyone on earth could have taught you to switch those genitals around? Like sometimes I'm gullible, you can trick me in some ways, but you're never going to trick me to suck a dick. There's not a teacher in the world that's smooth. It's gonna convince me not only

to suck it, but that I like it. I mean they say never say never, but I'm gonna go ahead and say that I'm never gonna have a life moment where I start sucking some dick. And then I just think, oh god, god damn it! Oh you got me! You tricked me! I like it now! I never had any interest! Never jerked off to the thought of this one time. God damn it. Ah Seventh grade science teacher you son of a bitch Anyway, Paul also encouraged mothers to avoid seeking medical attention during childbirth and not to vaccinate their children So much so much crazies in one of his old videos a woman narrates how she helped deliver a baby through prayer alone Without the need for a cesarean's excuse me section adding that she later received prompting from the Holy Spirit to warn her neighbor against vaccinating her child. The pastor then echoes

her sentiments that vaccines are never necessary, claiming that doctors serve a different God. Oh boy, yep, let's turn public sentiment away from medical professionals. That's a great way to fast track your nation into becoming a third world nation if it's not one already. That's a great way to fast-track your nation into becoming a third world nation if it's not one already. Paul also claimed a plan by the Kenyan government to establish a unique identity number for citizens to access governmental services. Again, I mentioned this earlier thing about our Social Security numbers. That was the mark of the beast. He also discouraged women from plating their hair wearing wigs, wearing ornaments aka jewelry. Evidence of the influence of the quote new world order that seeks to westernize and demonize the whole world. He claimed that the Catholic Church, the UN, the US operating in Illuminati type

cabal, in the end the most dangerous belief of the Malindi cult would be something called the latter rain version of William Branham's message. The latter rain movement within Pentecostalism began in the late 1940s with an emphasis on moving away from denominational churches to help prepare for the end times. It's actually too much to get into to explain it fully and it's also nonsensical. And it had a fundamental doctrine though of fasting. There was an emphasis on fasting to achieve quote atomic power as described by Franklin Hall's book Atomic Power with God through Fasting and Prayer. Very straightforward title. Hall was a Pentecostal faith healer born in 1909 who published that book in 1946.

He and Willie Branham toured together in the mid-40s and throughout the mid-50s here and there before parting due to creative differences over how they interpreted the good book. Hall, another grifter and maybe also insane. book. Hall, another grifter, and maybe also insane, he literally preached often about how Christians could raise the dead, like some kind of fucking necromancer, dark wizard, and he preached that if you fasted long enough you'd never have body odor, never have BL again. In 1946 this genius wrote, it can only be the beginning of a new age for good if the power of the spirit is developed to a high degree in many.

By the most powerful agent known to man, fasting and prayer, a 21 or 40 day prayer and fast period will most assuredly hasten the Christian to such a great and deep experience with God that 21 days would be equal to 21 years. I picture him working out equations on a chalkboard as he's talking about this. Okay, here's the one. Oh, yeah. Okay, 21 days. Okay, 21 years. 40 days equal to 40 years. Experience shows us that the 40-day period gives far greater results than a shorter time. No, it doesn't. What? No one should be fasting for 40 days. Brandon himself in 1961, five years after his fallout with Hall in 56,

will admit that people are going insane through this fasting doctrine. He will be like, no more. He says, I've had people after a certain book was wrote and put out about fasting, people come to my line, women pregnant and things like that, come in my line, lose their mind, go insane into institutions from that. See, because you can't just do that. Just because somebody else has done it, there's no sign that you're supposed to do it. Let God lead you to do what you're doing. If you're led to, when you get hungry, it's time to eat. When God puts a fast on you, you don't get hungry. It's God dealing with you. Jesus was afterwards and hungered. See, after his fast was over, he hungered. But so, however, just let

that. You just judged that by yourself. I'm your pastor is more apt This is all a quote a better position to tell you those things if I said wrong, forgive me If that lunatic Is saying that your message is too crazy? How crazy are you? So fast you might sound especially insane as a way to become closer to God But Pentecostalism is founded on experiencing physical manifestations of God in the body. So why wouldn't someone who believes in Pentecostalism, you know,

you know, helping God by doing something like starving themselves? I mean, if you believe that God wants you to jump and spin around and babble nonsensical shit, like, not to be incredibly inflammatory, but like a fucking lunatic, I can't not be inflammatory if I'm gonna be honest about this How would believing God wants you to starve yourself seem any crazier? Especially if everybody around you is doing it right if everyone else is reporting experiencing God by doing it and becoming truly saved Like the so-called latter rain version of the doctrine Paul Mackenzie believed or said he believed that extreme fasting would hasten the convoer's passage unto heaven

by cleansing their body of evil. And McKenzie merged that belief with one of Branham's doctrines. Following it to its grim conclusion, among the transcripts of William Branham's sermons found on Paul's fucking death compound was a sermon translated into Swahili called the Rapture, that slick willy preached December of 1965 just mere days before his death. In this sermon Branham makes several statements about how some of his followers will need to become martyrs to help bring Jesus back to earth to cleanse it of evil for the rest of the followers. Jesus was about death. He's about yeah a lot of death. He said that Jesus will give his faithful a new world, one free from satanic influence on modern living.

He said, quote, education and the educational system, science and civilization is of the devil. This is so fucked. Civilization is of the devil. We're supposed to live in caves, I guess. He said it's the devil's civilization. The Bible said so. And our civilization is coming on. We'll have nothing to do with this civilization at all.

It's nothing of it at all. It will be a different civilization. Into this civilization, into this scientific world we got, more scientific we get, further we go into death, things, traps to kill and everything. In that new civilization there will be no death, no sickness, sorrow, no pain, see? There won't be none in there. So this civilization will have to be destroyed because it's of the devil this guy sounds like he has an IQ of about 45 Yeah, he was very successful oh

Boy indeed much would be destroyed by Paul McKenzie not civilization, but hundreds of lives people who truly died in vain who didn't change shit The world will march forward into an increasingly technologically advanced future whether you wanted to or not. Every generation, every generation has had people who have prayed for some sort of advancement, industrial, scientific, secular, intellectual, technological, to stop, to go away, to have life return to a simpler time. That's never worked, not in the long run. To have life return to a simpler time. That's never worked, not in the long run. Human scientific progress over the last 10,000 or so years,

going back before the earliest days of the religion's now in existence, the teachings, the writings we have, it reads like a graph of the history of the U.S. stock market to me. Yeah, there's dips, there's regressions, sometimes big ones. Sometimes the progress is so slow, it's hard to tell that the line's moving upwards. But over the course of say, 100 years, years, thousand years, there's always growth. Right? We're gonna have our dark ages, but they're not gonna entirely wipe out the progress made in the years before them. And then there'll be a period of

enlightenment and progress following them. The pendulum swings back. We are an inherently curious species and curiosity breeds innovation. John C. Maxwell, an author who has written numerous New York Times bestselling books on leadership and a guy who is currently an evangelical pastor, lived in South Florida even he gets it. He wrote, change is inevitable. Growth is optional, meaning the times they always be a change. Whether or not you choose to grow and develop from that change, well that's on you. I like that. Paul taught his followers to resist the

changing of the times though by starving themselves to death and they did stop the change but only for themselves. Meanwhile the world continues to spin in advance for the rest of us and I think that will continue to be the case for a long long long long time. I think nine times out of ten history is the best indicator of the future, right? Past, best indicator of the present, the future. History will keep marching forward. And now let's look at a timeline of the rise and tragic fall of the doomsday and death cult with the ironic name of Good News International Ministries. Their news was anything but good. Shrap on those boots soldier. We're marching down a time-sucked timeline.

On August 17, 2003, Paul McKenzie starts Good News International Church. Before the founding, McKenzie worked as a taxi driver in Nairobi, Kenya from 1997 to 2003. Not much is known about his life before that. I bet he was a lot of fun to ride with. I bet he was saying all kinds of crazy shit in front seat. Some sources say he was born in Kenya. Others say he was born in Tennessee

and then later relocated into Kenya. Some sources say he went to college in Tennessee or Texas studying theology. I don't think so, maybe. His background, like the backgrounds of so many cult leaders remains mysterious. As reported in 2023, he was 51 when he was arrested, putting his birthday sometime in the year 1971 or 1972. Supposedly,

he has a younger brother named Robert. Other sources say he grew up in a family of 12. Who knows? While working as a taxi driver, he decided to become a preacher, but differences between him and various church leadership authorities got him kicked out of three consecutive churches. Eventually in 2002 he met Ruth Kehinde at a nearby Baptist church and shortly after Ruth invited him to preach at her home. Good news, International was born. It was a normal church in the beginning. Ms. Kehinde's daughter Naomi will later recall. She remembered the messages being pretty basic, salvation through faith in Christ alone, the Bible is the ultimate spiritual authority. Not long after the launch, Mackenzie, salvation through faith in Christ alone, the Bible is the ultimate spiritual authority. Not long after the launch, Mackenzie set up several branches in Nairobi and along the Kenyan coast, quickly attracting over 3,000 followers.

And at some point, perhaps before the church's launch, he got married to Joyce Mukumba. We don't know a lot about Joyce. According to some comments I saw on YouTube and Facebook from alleged former members of Paul's cult, Joyce will get sick in 2018 and die because Paul forbid her from getting Western medical attention. And that does track. With multiple branches of a new church prospering, Paul McKenzie moved to Malindi, a town that sits at the mouth of the Subaki River on the Indian Ocean along the coast of Kenya with roots going back to the 5th century CE

Today it's a city of about a hundred and twenty thousand people very popular with tourists particularly Italian tourists With tourism being the main industry lots of hotels lots of resorts that sort of thing And resort town with that kind of economy means, you know, sometimes it draws people Look into profit from tourism in some desperate ways like sex workers. This is pretty pretty sad about Malindi. In 2014 a BBC journalist reported visiting a busy tourist beach in Malindi and meeting two girls and a boy all under the age of 18 who all were working as prostitutes. In a good month they said they could get a client to pay them to spend the day with them nearly every day. Most of the

tourists in Malindi came from Italy or or come from Italy as I said, and these three teens said their clients were mostly Italian men between the ages of 50 and 80. Ugh. With the dull look in her eyes, 16 year old sex worker Maria explained to a BBC reporter how she goes about her daily business. She said, I asked my friends who work as beach boys to find me a male tourist. When I get a client we strike a deal, say for 60 bucks, 35 pounds. As the journalist was speaking to the teens, an elderly man approached the two girls with money in his hands, and that's when I say 60 bucks like US dollars. When he then spotted the journalist he signaled to the girls that he would be back later.

Another journalist writing in 2019 reported seeing a similar interaction writing, the other seeing a similar interaction writing, The other day a girl who looked like she was in her late teens stood next to me at the newly opened Ocean supermarket in Malindi. She was wearing a long rather unruly weave, tight shorts and was chewing on a lollipop. Because she didn't appear to be shopping, I assumed she was there with her parents on a back to school expedition. This wasn't until I saw the man she was with, a European who looked like he was in his late

50s or early 60s. The girl coyly pleaded with him to buy her another lollipop and he grunted a yes and walked away, with her tagging along like a child following her daddy. In other countries and situations I might have concluded that the young woman was the man's adopted daughter, but there was a Lolita-like flirtatiousness about her and the body language between her and the man suggested that the relationship was transactional. Later the author describes,

Young men are also being lured into the business. The other day I saw a group of young men, usually referred to as beach boys, with bare chests standing in line as if in a slave market outside a famous hotel in Malindi. The idea, as someone pointed out, is to get the attention of aging white women staying at the hotel who would be willing to quote, sponsor the men in exchange for sex. This display of a young male body on a beach in Kenya left me wondering how far we've come as a nation when our youth are forced to peddle their flesh to earn a living.

Stories of married local men taking on foreign quote wives during the peak holiday season and then going back to their real foreign quote wives during the peak holiday season and then going back to their real Kenyan wives during the low season are common here. Man, how exploitive. Also, I am not even slightly surprised that the main sex shoppers for the teen girls in Kenya are Italian men. If I have learned anything about modern Italian culture in previous episodes, it is that Italian men are literally the horniest motherfuckers on earth. Back home in Italy, they're constantly taking mistresses, aggressively hitting on tourists, literally beating off in the bushes while they watch other people

fuck or beating off in their balconies as they watch women jogging or even literally beating off while also riding a bike as they slowly cruise by some American college girls. Those are all real examples, by the way. Like for real, what the fuck is going on with libidos of Italian men? The Italian stallion machismo stereotypical culture is clearly real. Maserati, buccare spaghetti, Antone Bandonez, mannessa tomè, tomato, peperoni, dolci, and cabana, mango, gelato, Luigi! That was perfect Italian for, seriously, are a significant percentage of Italian men essentially just boners with legs?

Anyway There seems to have been some attempt to remedy Underage sex work in Malindi with many hotels barring underage local girls Not sure about boys from visiting guest rooms But that backfired simply drove the sex trade underground with children now going not to hotel rooms But to more dangerous private villas and just random places outside. I mean if you want to fuck you can find you can fuck almost anywhere. Lucifino will tell you that. One underage boy explained to the journalist how after the hotel enacted their room ban he started taking clients up to a rocky outcropping on the

beach when the tide came in a cave below became cut off from the rest of the beach and Afford privacy and he and his John's could then use some dead seaweed on the sand as a mattress Some men the boy reported this is this is horrific Some men the boy reported like to involve like to involve dogs when they had sex with local girls And they paid the girls up to five hundred dollars to film them having sex with local girls and they paid the girls up to $500 to film them having sex with the dogs God I would love to hear about someone just shooting these dudes dead Stealing their cameras and the money they were gonna use to pay these girls to be degraded on film

They just leave their fucking disgusting bodies in these caves According to government officials child prostitutes Malindi can earn more in a couple of days than a teacher does in a month, incentivizing children to drop out of school very early. How tragic, right? Why mess around with algebra when you can get fucked by a Doberman in some rape cave on the beach? What a life. Bribing police officers look the other way when it comes to this kind of shit. Apparently, it's very commonplace.

Also, it seems that local officials officials while they will publicly say they want this underage sex work to stop actually don't take any steps to end it because they know that being able to fuck Kenyan kids is one of the main draws of tourism in Malindi. If they actually abolished it it could be devastating for the local economy. That is what some sources state. My god. So local politicians wish Kenyans would lean further in towards being a sex destination. Mombasa, a senator from Mombasa, Emma Mbura, once publicly urged Mijikenda women to go topless and wear just a laso around their hips. And the Mijikenda, that's a group of nine related Bantu ethnic groups by the way, Mbura

argued that foreigners used to come to Kenya's coastal region specifically to stare at naked African titties and that the recent practices of covering them up kept many away. She apparently believes that if more coastal women just walked around naked, foreign tourists will come in droves to Kenya's beach resorts and she's probably not wrong. Nothing has ever consistently sold better than sex. It was in this world rife with corruption where education takes a back seat, where desperate people will do anything to make a few bucks, like literally being filmed fucking dogs in a cave, where the government does little to protect its citizens, protect its children. This is where Paul McKenzie will thrive and so will his cult. In 2008 McKenzie splits ties with Ruth Kehinde. According to her daughter, it was because Mackenzie's messages had gotten more and more apocalyptic.

There were also disagreements over cash. Ruth accused Mackenzie of stealing tithes and that tracks. Right, taking people's money, probably his primary motivation from the very beginning. Accused of theft, Naomi said that Mackenzie, quote, started accusing my mother of witchcraft. Oh, classic! The best grifters know that the best defense against accusations is a strong offense. Right? Someone accuses you of corruption, start screaming about how corrupt they are. How of course they would say that because they are worse than a thief. They are evil, demonic. They're a witch. Burn the witch. Assassinate their character so that no one will believe anything they say. McKenzie, likely with the money he'd stolen, now builds himself a big concrete prayer hall

and a plot of land he had purchased on the outskirts of Malindi and declared this the new headquarters of his good news international church. Now he leans further into his warnings of the coming battle of Armageddon. Join me if you don't want your soul to perish. I am the way, the only way. He also fucks over his old business partner Ruth one more time, taking with him one of her daughters, Mary, who he marries to one of his most fervent followers, a guy named Smart Wakalama, a former hotel cleaner. Now fast forwarding six years ahead. In 2014, Mackenzie starts posting online on his blog spots,

GoodNewsInternationalMinistries.blogspots.com. His first post is titled, all caps, gotta love an all caps title, Have you not seen? Have you not heard? The end is real. Oh, cult, cult, cult. Why come up with some, uh, some creative? When you can just scare up some money with a tried and true straight down the middle fear-mongering. His post would read, It is up to every reader to discern that which lies in the other side of the page. The writing is on the wall bold enough to be seen from afar that the world is headed somewhere. But the million dollar question is, where? It is so sad that I may write in all manner of description, but a choice of life lies

on your side of the court. I urge you to do the right thing. There is little time left. The end has come. The time when people used to think that this statement is used to appeal to fear so as to have many converts, is gone. Go through the whole of Matthew 24, Matthew 24-8, Matthew 24-14, 2 Timothy 3-1. The word talks of the things that will precede the manifestation of the Messiah.

The world leaders are constantly making statements, which do not need language prowess to comprehend. You heard this right. The incumbent president of the USA, in a bid to extol the biblical vision of equality, said that regardless of faith, creed, and religion, etc., all men are equal before the law, while pushing for an agenda of universal gay rights. You probably have not seen the malice in this statement. The man is a law professor, quite an orator, and an adept artificer. To me the statement would mean the law is paramount, and should the word of God disdain

homosexuality refer to the touchstone of equality, regardless of faith, creed? Now then, have you not heard? Was this just mere talk? No, it wasn't! All caps. Let's look at these three comments made by the papers he reads in the... One. He says it is not in his place to judge homosexuals, and said they should not be marginalized,

but condemned the gay lobby as a serious problem. Two. He continues, if someone is gay and seeks the Lord in goodwill, who am I to judge? And then he writes a bunch of like symbols, like he's swearing, but like, you know, not swearing because there's a

ampersand and fucking percentage mark and stuff. Three, finally he says, The problem is not having this orientation. It is lobbying. That's the most serious problem, I think. Likewise, the above talk is no mere talk. I must say it is inarguably a big joke from such a spiritual head. Does this guy ever read the scriptures? Has he read the first chapter of Romans? Does he even know what led to the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah? I am short of words to express

my astonishment. This mastery of trickery is only derived intuitively from the devil. How can one laud the gay person and refuse a group that caters for their interest? It is marketplace common knowledge that people of same interest will always group. The faithful and wicked alike group. Should you really want to disagree with the lobbying, then treat the right sickness, refute gayness. I may be a little rusty, kindly assist. Did the people of Sodom and Sodom get destroyed because they had a LGBT,

lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender social movement? destroyed because they had a LGBT, lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender social movement? Anyone else starting to think that McKenzie had a strong hankering for some cock in his loophole? Right? Come on. Seriously, who cares that much about other people being gay other than a very repressed, angry homosexual? I'm personally convinced that most people who go that hard, pun intended, against homosexuality are hard for fellow homosexuals. Right? They want it so bad. And they hate themselves for wanting it. So conflicted.

But they hate openly gay people more because they just think that if they just wouldn't be so gay, if they would just take the lure of getting one's dick sucked by another dick-owning bipedal mammal, oh, they'd be free from their lust. I'm speculating. But I'm pretty convinced I'm right. He continues with his weird tirade. And yes, I know it's a weird choice to play this dark synthwave behind it, but I kinda like it.

Homosexuality is only one but a quest to satisfy vile desires. Romans 1.26. Everyone got a fantasy, but that which leads you to destruction run away from it. All caps now. Sex is the current devil's most potent weapon! Lowercase. Aren't the cases of rape, bestiality, incest, sodomy, prostitution, infidelity, fornication, indecent sexual behavior, name them, making news headlines? Can such acts include illegal or legal homosexuality do one good, other than putting one in a cocoon of the marginalized.

The other day, a well-known media personality goes public about his gay sexual relations and feigns comfort in it. Earlier, this guy was all over kissing ladies in a bid to conceal his status as depicted in a widely read lifestyle magazine. I get filled with sorrow to hear of such distasteful sexual expeditions of public figures. A fellow man won't make you happy, neither will a fellow lady. What you have is just self-consolation, which you well know deep within that you are living a lie.

There is abundant joy in Christ Jesus." Wow, he really, really likes to talk about gay sex. He's obsessed with it. And he's obsessed with it. And he's still not done. He's still not done. He continues, I spoke with the man recently

of what I thought was my brother. He confessed to me that he has not attracted, all caps, to his wife. No, okay. When I suggested he pray for the Lord Jesus to restore his manly desire, he said a true miracle would be for her to lose her lady organs and grow a male penis. All caps.

He told me that he dreamed that his wife had a chest both flat and hairy. Lowercase. He began to look physically ill when he spoke of her vagina. He spoke of detesting the smell. He told me that he prefers skin that does not lubricate, all caps, like the skin of penis or anus. Lowercase, I was horrified for my brother. I feared his soul was lost with perversion and sin.

I agreed to do whatever is necessary to save his marriage and soul. We went to the market and he showed me a picture of his wife. I bought a wig, fashioned in her style and the same type of dress she wore. I bought a bra filled with two melons, size of her breasts. I then led him to a secret cave on the beach. I used to go too often to sit and think and preach to teens. I agreed, all caps, to be his wife in cave, lowercase, and encouraged him to call me by his wife name

and to treat my anus like vagina. I told him not to look at it or touch my penis at any time, that would be sin. That would make it gay. To help prevent him from seeing my penis, I imagined having sex with my own wife, which made me all caps erect, for I am so very straight

and only love for women's bodies. Lowercase, to keep myself straight, I struck my own erect penis while he made my straight anus a straight woman vagina until he planted his straight seed deep into his wife's vagina, which was also my straight anus through the miracle of Jesus Christ.

I then made his no longer gay mouth my own wife's vagina until I planted my straight seed into the straight vagina of my wife, which was also my straight brother's straight mouth through the miracle of Jesus Christ. Okay, I hate to write that last part. You know that. I hope you know that. Actually, I hope you did know that. But I think you know that. That was I hope you did know that. But I think you know that.

That was too much fun for me to put together. Okay. Here's what he really wrote. To end his first blog post. This is his opening blog post. the word of truth to the ends of this world of will. Do not worry if they listen not, because some have chosen to perish but gladly welcome them, that will give their old ways to God the righteous one. These things ought to come and let us also be on the lookout. We don't get involved in any way. Recall Romans 1.32, who knowing the ordinance of God, that they practice such things as He repeats it. The word says God is love, 1 John 4-8. The sinners and the righteous alike are a product of His creation, and He says they are all good. Where then does this partition arise from? Our sins.

It is sin that separates us from the perfect will of God. Gladly there is an escape route, a ransomed offer of love. Jesus paid for our sins, which offer us a chance to repent. Revelation 3-19 says, As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten. Be zealous therefore and repent. You and I need Jesus. Take a bold step, walk to the nearest church that preaches the true word or contact me

through GoodNewsInternationalMinistries.gmail.com or call 0710-333-072 or call 0710-333-081 and we'll be glad to get in touch with you! So, okay, I'm gonna be honest. There was a lot of moments in that post where I was like, I don't think I even know what the hell is going on anymore. Most of his subsequent posts would just be a list of, you know, Bible verses. I felt like he got out everything he wanted to say in that first post.

The world's evil and it's the gay's fault. And he didn't really have much to say after that. He didn't want to keep repeating himself. The following year, 2015, a man named Titus Catana joins Mackenzie's church. He would eventually rise to become deputy pastor. Initially, he was full of admiration for Mackenzie and his preaching. We will hear from him soon. In 2017, Mackenzie created a YouTube channel that he used for his ministry to warn followers against demonic acts. Demonic acts like using credit or debit cards to pay for things instead of cash and wearing wigs.

Anyone else not expecting those two things to be the first two demonic acts he mentioned? I thought he would focus more on homosexuality. I didn't see wig coming. If you buy a wig with a credit card, is that like doubly demonic? If you buy a wig with a credit card, is that like doubly demonic? If you buy a wig with a credit card while flirting with somebody of the same sex, how demonic is that? If you buy a wig with a credit card, if you're a dude and you have two dicks in your mouth, will that immediately just conjure the devil? Tis I Satan!

Thou hast summoned me! Who dares buy a wig on credit while doing such gay shit? Along with Times TV, a gospel channel that beamed his increasingly fiery sermons over the internet and across Africa, this channel greatly increased his follower count. And how was all this funded? How did he pay for all the camera equipment, video editors, studio, you know, etc. Sometime around 2016 a member of the group sold their property, remember his group, sold their property on the island of Lamu for 20 million Kenyan shillings and then gave all that money to Mackenzie. He then allegedly used that money to purchase property in the cities of Mubasa,

Malindi, as well as two vehicles and of course his TV station. This move convinced several other followers to follow suit selling their properties given all the money to the church but really just straight to Mackenzie. Now with his new media exposure he begins to tell worshippers crazy shit they should no longer visit medical doctors ever. If they need healing he'll heal them and they should stop sending their kids to school. Anything the kids needed to learn, you know, God will teach them. He now sets up his own unregistered school at his church and has his followers pay to send their kids there to not learn shit.

He also claims divine healing powers for which he will charge his followers for. He told me he had received a revelation from God about education and medicine being sinful. Titus Catana will later recall. Everything bad started with this. On August 8th, 2017, something terrible would happen in Kenya that would be good for Mackenzie when it came to his ability to control his followers. Kenya's presidential election was decided that day and there was an explosion of violence hit in the country due to the results that would soon follow.

Mild protests and political tensions surfaced in parts of Western Kenya and Nairobi on August 9th following allegations by the opposition leader, Ray Laodinga, that the Electoral Commission system had been hacked and polling results manipulated in favor of Uhuru Kenyatta. On August 11th, following the announcement of Kenyatta's victory at the polls, opposition supporters all over Kenya protested with chants of, Uhuru, let's go! In western Kenya, police fired tear gas canisters and water cannons to disperse protesters now who were throwing stones and other objects at police.

They were burning tires, lighting fires on the road. On August 11th and 12th, police carried out house-to-house suppression operations. During these operations, officers will break down doors, beat residents, steal money, steal phones, take TV sets, sexually harass and or assault, rape girls and women. Many residents fled, only returned later to find their possessions looted, presumably by the police.

But they were still the lucky ones. Human Rights Watch confirmed through multiple sources that the police killed at least 10 people, including a six-month-old baby in Kissamoo County alone. In neighboring Saia County, police fatally shot a protester near the town of Saia and beat a 17 year old boy to death on the outskirts of Ugunja as they pursued crowds of protesters into the villages. Human Rights Watch found no evidence that protesters were armed or acted in a manner that could justify the use of such force.

On August 12th, the Kenyan National Commission on Human Rights reported that the police had killed at least 24 people nationwide. The real number most likely a lot higher, as Kenyan media were slow in reporting on the violence and families have been afraid to speak out about it. In the town of Kisumu, hospital staff and county government officials confirmed that at least 100 people, mostly men, were seriously injured in beatings and shootings. Many others did not go to the hospital for treatment for fear of being further targeted or arrested. So who knows how many were hurt. As of August 17th, at least 92 people with serious injuries, including three women who

said police raped them, had not sought medical help. According to Idris Omondi, the chairperson of the makeshift Kisumu County Disaster Management Center that was registering those affected by the violence and police abuses. Of course, the police maintained it was all the protesters' fault. So did the government. On August 12, the acting Cabinet Secretary for the Interior and Coordination of the National Government, Dr. Fred Matiangi, denied the police used live bullets or excessive force against protesters and blamed criminals for the looting.

No sources indicate that there is a connection between this violence and the Malindi cult. But it might explain why Mackenzie was allowed to go ahead basically unimpeded with his cult following. There's also a more direct connection following all this kind of stuff. As a result of the violence tourism in Malindi would suffer enormously and continue to suffer for years with many hotels, shops, and restaurants closing down as a result and then that would roll into COVID which would make it worse. And this means that a lot of people are now out of business and destitute, including the already desperate underage prostitutes, and therefore a lot more people are open to joining the cult. That's going to promise they'll be taken

care of as the world as we know it ends. Initially amidst this chaos, McKenzie will be arrested in October of 2017 on four charges. He's charged with radicalization and promoting extremist beliefs as well as denying children access to health care and education and running an unauthorized school and television station. And also single-handedly destroying Kenya's fucking wig industry. Wig sales down 67% year to year, thanks to McKenzie's videos linking wig purchases to demonic worship. Maybe not that. For real though, as a direct result of McKenzie's preaching, several children had recently died from not receiving proper health care. While the court proceedings continued, 93 children would be rescued by government

authorities from McKenzie's church. McKenzie will plead not guilty and somehow be acquitted. Then the next year, his TV station will be shut down by the Kenyan Film Classification Board for continually pumping out harmful messages. He's detained again, 2019, released on bail. He then escalated his confrontation with the government, denouncing its introduction of national identification numbers for citizens as the mark of the beast, right? That whole thing about the apocalypse. Threatened with further prosecution, McKenzie shunned his followers in 2009, or stunned his followers in 2019 by announcing he was

closing down his ministry, selling off all his property, and retreating into the nearby Sheka-Hallah forest. So not really done with his ministry, just gonna go full- on cult. He invited followers to join him and purchase small plots on what he said will be a new Holy Land. Titus Katana, his deputy preacher now, will be one of the people who joins him. He bought an acre of land from Mackenzie for around 3,000 Kenyan shillings, then worth around 30 US dollars, which he considered to be a great price. It was a very good price for Mackenzie who didn't own the land he was selling. So pure profit. That's fantastic.

Due to selling shares for a cult compound to be built on land, he does not own. I think he just leveled up right there with his grifting. That was pretty balty. Meanwhile, his sermons got, of course, even more apocalyptic. He prophesied to his followers in early 2020, in a nearly three-hour-long diatribe, Look what will befall all nations of this world. Anger, frustration, and many things, and many disasters, will make human beings cry without help. That is what will cover the world. Then things get even more chaotic. On March 12, 2020, the COVID-19 pandemic reaches Kenya. The initial cases are reported in the capital city of Nairobi and the coastal area of Mombasa.

The pandemic increased the appeal of Mackenzie's message. The world is ending. Just look around. More began to take him up on his offer to join him on his compound. Hundreds move out to the Shackahalla Forest. One of the new converts that year will be Lorene Risicki, a woman who was introduced to Mackenzie's preaching by her mother Priscilla. Lorene and her three children all move to the Shackahalla Forest. Another will be Solomon Wendow, a former street hawker we met at the very beginning of this episode, a man who brought his wife and two young children out to the woods with him. Still another will be a woman named Agnes who would join Mackenzie's church while in high school. She'd already shaved her head, you know, to get rid of

her sinful hairstyle and entered a church arranged marriage by the time the group was moving to Shakahalo. Mackenzie convinced her to come to the forest by calling her up and essentially scaring her into joining him. Agnes will later say to reporters, the pastor called me. He called me and said, my daughter, you are being left behind. When the ark is closed, it will be too late. How many others did he call and say that shit to? Mackenzie's followers believed that the 800-acre property

he was selling parcels of, again, he did not own, would be an evangelical Christian sanctuary from the fast approaching apocalypse. The Sheka Halla forest sits on an expansive land between two popular tourist destinations in Kenya, Savo National Park, a place I would love to go to some days. So many cool animals and the Indian Ocean coast. The area was deserted, mostly full of spindly brushes and dirt.

Agnes would fortunately leave the compound in September of 2022. She escaped into the forest and then into town when she was told she couldn't get help from another woman to deliver her third child for some nonsensical reason. Mackenzie's hold over her was finally broken. She had no idea that she had barely avoided a massacre to come. Four months later, January of 2023, Mackenzie issues new instructions to hundreds of people who have moved to Shakahala where they now live in divided districts with names like Jericho and Jerusalem. Mackenzie lived in Galilee, named after the area where Jesus lived most of his life.

So what were the new instructions? A methodical plan for mass suicide through starvation. The first to perish Mackenzie commanded were to be the children, who were, quote, to fast in the sun so they will die faster. Titus Catana later said, recalling the pastor's words. Like what in the actual fuck? Think about how brainwashed you have to be to follow those instructions, to agree to starve your kids to death. Starve them out under the hot sun, help them die faster, but still die slowly and in agony. An agony that you'll hear listening to their hunger cries, wails of torment. And yet dozens and dozens of parents will do this.

In March and April, Mackenzie preached it will be the turn of the women, finally followed by the men. Fathers will first force their kids to starve to death and watch their wives starve to death, then finally starve themselves. And they did all of that, thinking that they were following the commandments of a loving God. God, what a world. According to later survivor testimonies to the police, McKenzie told his followers, quote, the fast would count only if they gathered together and offered them his farm as a fasting venue. They were not to mingle with anyone from the outside world if they wanted to go to heaven and were to destroy all documents given by the government including national IDs and birth certificates.

Cult! Cult! Cult! Cult! Right? That sounds like something God would be worried about. ID cards? Birth certificates? McKenzie claimed that he would stay alive to help his lead, to help lead his followers to quote meet Jesus. But once everyone else was dead and you know and all the work was done, he was like gonna totally starve himself to death too. You know for sure in advance of the coming apocalypse. 100%. He was definitely not just gonna like run off with all their money and leave their dead bodies in the woods for vultures to feed on.

Ah, haha, no way. Now hurry up and die. In a video posted online in March of 2023, Mackenzie said that he had heard the voice of Christ telling me that work I gave you to preach end time messages for nine years has come to an end. At one point he identified the day of the apocalypse as April 15th, just a month away. Everyone needs to die stat. Around this time right-hand man Titus Katana decided that he was out. He'll later say that he went to the police to report that kids were dying in the forest, but the police did not take action. And why not? Some think McKenzie bribed them.

Others think they just didn't give a shit that a bunch of poor unemployed people would soon be dead, that the Kenyan government cared that little for its people. Some also think that they didn't want to draw attention to what was happening in the woods because the press that would result would be bad for tourism. By the time Titus spoke with the police,

dozens, if not a hundred or more people were already dead and most of them were kids. They'd been locked in huts for five days without food or water, so much for leaving them out in the sun. Too noisy, too easy for them to escape I guess. Once they were dead or almost dead, their bodies would be wrapped in blankets and buried. The ones who were still breathing, just buried alive. People doing that to their own kids. A curious non-cult member, a man named Victor Cuato, would visit the compound in March hoping to uncover exactly what the hell was going on there. Tipped off by defectors from the cult, Victor found dead bodies and nearly dead emaciated believers who, though in the

throes of an agonizing death, cursed him as quote an enemy of Jesus when he tried to help him. They were that brainwashed. A starving woman, her head shaved on orders from the cult leader, flailed angrily on the ground as Victor approached her offering her sustenance. I wanted these starving people to survive, but they wanted to die and meet Jesus, Victor later recalled. What do we do? Does freedom of worship supersede the right to life? According to the news outlet Al Jazeera on March 23rd, a lot more death was nearly avoided when McKenzie was arraigned in court, but then

released after paying his bail. So a lot more death, yeah, nearly avoided. But he was released after paying his bail of 10,000 Kenyan shillings, yeah equivalent to about 70-75 bucks. He was arraigned after two kids were reportedly starved and suffocated to death by their parents at Mackenzie's request. Mackenzie claimed to have no knowledge, saying, I am shocked about the accusations placed before me. I closed my Good News International Church in Malindi

in August of 2019. It's important for people to accept that. I even sold the equipment there in the chairs as well. If a person used to worship with me, then they should do it on their own now and not by my name," he added. Follow Christ, not Pastor McKenzie. And then for some reason he was not charged with anything and allowed to go free and more carnage will follow. In early April of 2023, Solomon Mend, the former street hawker who moved to Shakahala in 2021 with his family, telephoned his sister in Mombasa,

told her that, quote, we are starting a fast so that we can go see Christ in Golgotha. A reference to the hillside of Jesus's crucifixion in the Bible. His sister was shocked. She told him, I'm praying for you, but we need you. So don't crucify yourself. For the next couple of days, she would get a bunch of concerning texts from her brother. Texts that both pleaded for her help, but also showed that he was still under Mackenzie's influence.

The same time, a man contacted the police after his wife and daughter left Nairobi to join Mackenzie's community and did not return. The police finally entered the forest to explore the compound to investigate on April 13, 2023, two days before Mackenzie's prophesied apocalypse date of April 15. But they hadn't shown up just in the nick of time for most. They discovered a hellish scene of dangerous emaciated people in shallow graves full of bodies. Fifteen members of the group were rescued by the police that day. They stated they had been ordered to starve themselves to death to meet Jesus.

The 15 followers were in such poor condition that four of them died on the way to the hospital. Over the following three weeks, police searched the entire compound, not sure why it fucking took them that long, finding so many more shallow graves and a few additional survivors who were starving to death. The first bodies recovered from the graves were mostly children, and many of them bore the signs of sexual abuse. It's always the kids who seem to get fucked first, literally, in these cult compounds. Man, cult leaders preaching about the evils of homosexuality, how sinful those people are, while simultaneously fucking kids.

What is more of the world going to wake up to the fact that it's the supposedly righteous straight people blabbing on and on about the evils of modern life who are the people the world should worry the most about when it comes to being evil and doing shit to kids? No study has been done to my knowledge exploring the connection between, say, evangelists and pedophiles, but I would bet my life that there is a much higher percentage of fire and brimstone evangelists compared to homosexuals who are pedophiles, adulterers, thieves, etc. It's the soapbox moralist preaching about devils in our midst who are so often the devils in our midst. One of the graves uncovered by the police contained the bodies of five

members of the same family, three children and their parents. One grave had 12 kids in it, and some of the bodies, not even buried, just carelessly cast aside. Soon, making all of this even more disturbing, it would become apparent that some of these bodies had not simply starved to death, they had been beaten to death with crude weapons. Authorities will come to believe that McKenzie hired some local thugs to kill off his followers who changed their minds about fasting, as well as those who just took too long to die. Later autopsies will be conducted on more than 100 bodies and show that many victims

who didn't die of starvation died of strangulation, suffocation, and blunt force trauma. Police also initially believe that some of the bodies were missing organs, leading to suspicions of organ harvesting, as I mentioned earlier. Later autopsies performed on 112 of the exhumed bodies will supposedly rule out this possibility and I say supposedly because Kenya's government, again notoriously corrupt, and if the authorities had discovered evidence of organ harvesting, they might have suppressed that evidence concerned about how that could really, really further hurt tourism. Authorities also discovered a number of other emaciated individuals who incredibly had not

died including one who was still alive after having been buried for three days. That person was taken to a hospital for treatment, not sure if they lived or died after that. Another person lucky enough to survive was Salama Masha, a 28-year-old mother who walked for miles with her five kids out of the forest shortly after she heard about the plan to kill the kids. Her children were ages 8, 7, 5, 2 and a half, and just a newborn. She said, I fasted for a while, but when my husband asked me to subject the children to fasting, I was disturbed. The cry of my second last born daughter, aged 2 and a half

years, broke my heart after I subjected her to fasting for a day. She writhed in pain and I changed my mind. I told my husband I was leaving. She said, by the time I was leaving the farm, I was weak. My children were so frail I had to breastfeed my, I guess it was not a newborn, a one-year-old. My one-year-old despite the fast and that weakened me more. I fasted for four days before I took a break and then for seven days before I gave up after a session of prayer that revealed I was doing the wrong thing. She would later come to believe that her husband, Kehinde Katana, died in the massacre because he refused to leave.

That's nuts, man. His wife, five kids, flee and he's still like, nah, I'm gonna stay here. I'm gonna stay here and starve it out. Thank you. I said she came to believe her husband died because his death was not confirmed when she spoke to reporters. Some family members and cult members presumed dead still don't know for sure if their relatives are dead or maybe they fled or are missing. So many bodies still have not been identified. Among

those who are presumed dead but whose bodies still have not been positively identified is the family of smart Mawakalama, his wife Mary and their six kids. Lorene Risky and her three children also still missing or Lorene Risky, there we go, racked by guilt and grief. Lorene's mother Priscilla, who introduced her to Mackenzie years before, will visit the Malindi morgue each day to search for her daughter and three grandchildren, just for weeks and weeks. My only hope now is to see my daughter either dead or alive, Priscilla told reporters. Some families had to arrange their own investigations just to figure out if their relatives had

survived. Francis Wanji had to organize a private rescue mission to the forest where he hoped to find his daughter and her family. He had been shocked to hear that they had moved to the forest in the first place since both his daughter and son-in-law had they had good jobs told them they were just relocating to a different part of Kenya. On the rescue mission they found Wanji's oldest grandson still barely alive. His two younger grandchildren were dead. They've been suffocated to death by their parents. He would say to reporters, it is so painful I could not even explain it because it's something I don't even think about in my life. And I wonder how my child, my daughter, could change to be such an animal to kill her own children just because she wanted to go see Jesus. Authorities will find a small house that was McKenzie's private abode in the compound.

Inside they find copies of sermons of William Branham's old slick willy as well as a detailed menu reserved for McKenzie noting well-prepared and ample-sized meals. That motherfucker just feasted while hundreds starved around him. On April 14th, the day after authorities first showed up at the compound and the day before his prophesied apocalypse, McKenzie turned himself in to authorities and he looked great. Didn't look real skinny. More than 20 bank accounts of his will now be quickly frozen. I bet he thought he could still bribe his way out of the shit. April 23rd, Amos and Kingi, head of the Senate and a former Caliphi governor, made a statement about the massacre. He said,

and a former Caliph-e-Governor made a statement about the massacre. He said, How did such a heinous crime, organized and executed over a considerable period of time, escape the radar of our intelligent system? How did evil of such an astounding magnitude take place without being detected? How did this pastor gather so many people, indoctrinate, brainwash, and starve them to death in the name of fasting and then bury them in a forest without being detected? Whatever happened to the good old days, when we all used to enjoy paying a young teen girl to get fucked by a doberman on a camera in a cave? These are the questions I'll be asking a couple boys on the beach I'll fuck later tonight. He didn't say those last few sentences.

You know that, but I wanted to make it clear. Interior Minister Kithuri Kandiki made a statement about how those responsible for the massacre should be subjected to severe punishment in accordance with the law. While the state remains respectful of religious freedom, this horrendous blight on our conscience must lead not only to the most severe punishment of the perpetrators of the atrocity on so many innocent souls, but tighter regulation including self-regulation of every church, mosque, temple, or synagogue going forward. regulation of every church, mosque, temple, or synagogue going forward. Civil societies and religious leaders alike condemned the events as extremism aimed at taking advantage of people and praying on their faith. Anthony Mujeria, archbishop of the

Nyeri Catholic Archdiocese in central Kenya, said it was an act of extremism where scripture was twisted to deceive followers. He said religion should not and cannot be the cause of people losing lives through radical extremism, that people have to do exceptional things to gain followers. He said religion should not and cannot be the cause of people losing lives through radical extremism that people have to do exceptional things to gain blessings from God. On April 24th search teams had to stop digging for bodies until autopsies were completed on the first 90 bodies found because the local morgue didn't have enough room for all the bodies. Just too many dead people. The death toll will eventually rise to 448

as of June 12, 2024 with the number of missing reported as 613. Some sources say 429 bodies have been exhumed. A local news outlet, K24 TV, noted that the exact number of people who perished in the massacre might never be known following reports that there are instances where bodies were plunged into random deep pit latrines scattered in the expansive area where cult leader Paul McKenzie led an unknown number of his followers. As the body count continued to rise, curiously, Paul McKenzie's family came to his defense.

On April 25th, 2023, Citizen TV reported that his brother, Robert McKenzie, says Paul stopped preaching in 2019. He had taken up farming, was therefore not responsible for the deaths in Shock Hall. He wasn't even there. Come on, dude. He said that McKenzie's instructions to shun modern education and medicine were never mandatory.

Robert said, my children go to school and they go to the hospital and McKenzie has never forced me to have them do otherwise. If you don't take your children to school then that's on you and not Mackenzie. I don't think it's quite that simple. Any parents who survived the massacre but subjected their kids to any of this bullshit, yeah, they should be punished severely. They should be charged with murder if they force their kids to starve. But Paul Mackenzie should also be held responsible for this shit. You know, my god. Soon a new person of interest will surface in connection with the deaths. A second pastor also based in Malindi is arrested April 27th in connection with the Shakahala forest massacre. Shakahala, my god. Ezekiel Odaro, popularly

known as Pastor Ezekiel, was a Kenyan televangelist and the head of the New Life Prayer Center and Church for many years, where he attracted crowds of up to 50,000 people. To his followers, he was a gifted spiritual leader who claimed he could cure HIV and AIDS with holy water. So he's a fucking dickhead. He sold scraps of fabric, allegedly doused in holy water, for 100 Kenyan shillings apiece at his rallies. So, another one of those assholes.

People crowded my church because I am the chosen one, he told a TV news channel in December of 2022. Or because you're just really good at being really bad and are a complete fucking sociopath. Yee. As soon as he was linked to Mackenzie, his church was shut down and authorities now suspect that O'Dearo may have used the mass graves dug for McKenzie's victims to bury some of his own church members. Odero will admit that at least 15 people died on the premises of his church and that he had the bodies processed at his private morgue. Why does he have a private morgue?

Two of these assholes killing followers in the same area of Kenya at the same time. Odero and McKenzie shared a history of business investments, including the TV station they both used to pass radicalized messages to followers according to court documents. All of this deeply angered many in Kenya. Tens of thousands believed and supported both of these pastors for years, trusted them with their salvation, and now many of their friends, relatives, and community members were dead. Within weeks of the initial discovery, a mob of angry residents, many of them grieving relatives of missing cult members ransacked Mackenzie's former church, tearing down his pink front gate and smashing the surrounding wall. Jumping ahead to

May, Mackenzie, his third wife, Rhoda Mbua Mwaw, not sure what happened to his second wife, and 16 other members of his cult were being detained by authorities as of May 7th. Mackenzie would be denied bail on May 10th and as of June 14th, the total number of people arrested in connection with the massacre was 36. It'll rise tremendously. It seems like many of the members who were rescued were still intent on fasting when they were found. On June 12th, 65 victims were arraigned at the Shanzhou law courts in Mombasa for the crime of attempted suicide. According to the Citizen Digital News Service, the prosecution made an application to have them remanded in prison because the rescue center can no longer hold them.

They are also said to undergo a mental and medical assessment and be forced to eat in prison. Also in June it was reported that the Shakahala forest will become a national memorial site. The forest where grave crimes have been committed will not remain as it was, Interior Minister Kithuri Kandiki said. The government will convert it into a national memorial, a place of remembrance so that Kenyans in the world do not forget what happened here. National Memorial, a place of remembrance so that Kenyans in the world do not forget what happened here. On July 8th of this year, McKenzie's trial finally began. McKenzie faced charges of terrorism and literally hundreds of charges of murder and manslaughter

over the deaths of more than 400 of his followers, and he appeared in a packed courtroom in the Indian Ocean port city of Mombasa along with 94 co-defendants. Yeah, 94. He had already pled not guilty in January. His co-defendants, all 94 of them, pled not guilty in January. His co-defendants, all 94 of them, faced charges of murder, manslaughter, as well as child torture, cruelty, and separate cases they would all plead not guilty. In August, dozens of witnesses will begin to testify. On Thursday, August 15th, a nine-year-old

identified only as E.G. and hidden inside a witness protection booth, told a packed courtroom the children were not supposed to eat so they could just die when her parents denied her food and water for eight days the girl said she knew she was going to die just like her two younger siblings already had for days her parents had beaten her when they caught her sipping water my god or looking for food famished and frail she said they dressed her in special attire meant for death. Eek! Sadly on September 9th of this year, the trial was paused and will not resume until March of 2025 due to a shortage

of prosecutors in Kenya. There are so many co-defendants and so many different charges against so many different people, it is likely we will not know what sentence Paul McKenzie gets, if any, for several years. While that sucks, the Kenyan government is currently working on a better way to monitor Kenya's churches. Many of them are very small and led by unsupervised individuals. Efforts to regulate religion in the majority Christian country have been fiercely opposed in the past as attempts to undermine constitutional guarantees for the division of church and state. But current Kenyan President William Ruto has set up a commission to review regulations governing churches.

So, maybe it'll change. I hope it does. And with that, let's get out of this timeline. Good job, soldier. You've made it back. Barely. Hey! Hey! it's Bob. Yeah, it's Bob. Bob's found a little bond that FruitDop is. Started up in MIA the past few weeks. I had to get out of the country. Far away. But I also bring my little tiny fruit trees with me so that they can grow.

I'm in Kenya now. But don't tell anybody. I'm also killing it. I'm killing it you fuckers. I found some land no one's using in the Sheka Holoforest. It's perfect for fruit. No one comes by. A lot of holes have already been dug to plant stuff. Good soil too. Anyway, just want to let you know all is good. Climate's perfect for tiny delicious mangoes. I made some new friends who invited me to their church. It's fun. We dance a lot. And you don't even have to memorize the songs. We make up all the words. And you don't even have to know the dance steps.

You just shake it and scream it a lot. Kind of scary sometimes when they talk about the devil being everywhere. But they say I'm safe. As long as I don't buy wigs. Watch TV, listen to radio, read books, go to the doctor, have sex with someone who looks like me. Ha ha ha! Let my woman wear makeup. I don't do any of that stuff! I'm not a woman! I'm just god damn it I'm not just going to twigs together god damn it I'm not just going to twigs together god damn it I'm not just going to twigs together god damn it

I'm not just going to twigs together god damn it I'm not just going to twigs together god damn it I'm not just going to twigs together god damn it I'm not just going to twigs together god damn it I'm not just going to twigs together god damn it I'm not just going to twigs together god damn it I'm not just going to twigs together god damn it I'm not just going to twigs together god damn it

I'm not just going to twigs together god damn it I'm not just going to twigs together god damn it Bountiful Bountiful fruit it's bountiful not beautiful. Bob's haha too many words. Bob's bountiful Bountiful fruit not bits. I gotta change it. I'm not just gluing twigs together god damn it. I think I joined the cult of Africa. I don't even care. As long as I can't let me make my tiny trees you can keep sucking my tiny fruit.

Huh. Sounds like there are still more cults over there in Kenya. You know how it works out for Bob. I have wondered where he's been the past few weeks. I'm glad he's not focused on you know taking revenge and killing me and my family anymore. The Malindi doomsday cult or as the Kenyan media termed it the Shakahala forest massacre. Who knows what details may emerge in the coming years about all this? We'll likely hear more about what happened more about Paul McKenzie's life

More about the people who joined the group more More about the abuses he perpetrated on them. I'm sure there was, you know, a lot of abuse that is simply just not been uncovered yet. Because, you know, records of it, texts, letters people have sent, police reports, just have yet to be made public. Due to the sheer volume of people, there are to interview family members, people who knew McKenzie, who knew his young pastor. That means this process of discovery will probably take years. Hopefully in that process, we will learn more about the victims. That means this process of discovery will probably take years.

Hopefully in that process, we will learn more about the victims. We'll learn more about what Mackenzie promised them. Did he promise them riches at any point? Did he just simply convince them that dying was what Jesus wanted them to do to prove their devotion to him? Did he simply just convince them

that the world was ending anyway? Right, the world was evil, not worth living in. Did he get them good and tired and miserable and confused living out in the woods so miserable that death sounded like a great way to escape all the misery? And would they have been so miserable in the first place if many of them weren't being exploited by tourists who saw a lot of them clearly as subhuman sexual playthings? Would they have been as susceptible if COVID hadn't badly damaged the area's fragile

tourism-based economy if more of them went to school? I feel like it can be hard to comprehend how an event like this can happen today in a world hadn't badly damaged the area's fragile tourism-based economy. If more of them went to school. I feel like it can be hard to comprehend how an event like this can happen today. In a world of cell phones and remote jobs and more opportunities than there's ever been. But that doesn't mean the opportunities get distributed equally. Our lives may be going great, or maybe not even that great, but really good relative to what they could be. But that doesn't mean that other meat sacks on the planet have the same advantages. We need to be more vigilant about the

struggles of other people, right? So we can be vigilant about how people like Paul McKenzie can take advantage of those struggles. Also, man, magical thinking, damn it! When you open your mind to believing something like God really wants you to show your love for him in ways like acting like like this. Madness. I mean I'm not trying to pick on Pentecostals, I'm honestly not, but seriously, if you're willing to believe, whatever that is, you are the perfect candidate to get taken on a ride by Coal Eater because you have left reason so far back in the dust.

So when someone starts, you know, sharing their spiritual beliefs with you, it doesn't have to make any sense at all for you to believe, you know, just about anything. You've truly been conditioned to suppress the voice of reason I believe nearly all of us are born with that bullshit detector in the back of our minds that little voice of like what the fuck is going on here this is weird this is confusing I mean you've been taught to to see that voice is the voice of the devil and to ignore it to suppress it which is very dangerous and the only agenda I have in telling you this is I just don't want to see you get grifted by some motherfucker like Paul McKenzie or William Branham.

It doesn't have to be that extreme either. It could be, you know, grifts in smaller ways. And life is inherently going to be full of a lot of pain and misery and confusion. Why add more to your plate by allowing yourself to be brainwashed into thinking that education is evil? Wigs are demonic. Teachers want to somehow turn your straight kids gay. Fuck Paul McKenzie. Fuck slick Willie Branham.

And fuck every other wolf in sheep's clothing like them. Right? Wear your wick if it makes you feel better. Put on that lipstick if it makes you feel sexy. Read all the books you can because it's fun to enrich yourself. And if you'd rather get your dick sucked by someone with a dick or get your pussy licked by another puss owner, well then get your shit sucked and licked in the way you prefer. No part of me believes any god worth worshiping is going to care. Just like no part of me believes that a creative force beyond comprehension, capable of creating the spark that blew up into the big bang, if that's indeed how it all began,

is going to insist you show your devotion this way What the fuck Time for today's top 5 takeaways. Number 1. The Shakahala Forest massacre occurred between January and April of last year. After hundreds of people moved to the Shakahala Forest with a taxi driver turned Doomsday pastor Paul McKenzie in 2020 and 2021, spurred on by his own apocalyptic rhetoric and recent world events,

it seemed a massive idea that doomsday was imminent. McKenzie would reveal his new plan in January of 2023. That new plan was mass starvation, beginning with kids, then women, then men. Overwhelmingly investigators found the dead to be women and children. And when followers didn't comply with the new plan, they were somehow forcibly beaten,

maybe even sexually assaulted and potentially buried alive. Left to die out in the woods. Number two. Paul McKenzie is yet another Pentecostal preacher who was dabbled in some shady shit. Like his idol slash inspiration William Branham. Slick Willie! Once a small-town farm boy, Slick Willie would go on to inspire some of the biggest revivals of the 20th century. He claimed to be able to heal people, but nope. He got in trouble more than once for not being honest about his finances as well. Number three, the massacre in the Shackahalla Forest definitely claimed somewhere between 429 and 448 lives as of this recording. The number of missing people currently sits at 613.

So perhaps the true death toll. Oh, man. currently sits at 613, so perhaps the true death toll, oh man, I guess over a thousand if those numbers are being listed, like those are the men, there's over you know 420 dead and there's at least an additional 613 missing, that's oh my god, a crazy amount of people. The desire to meet Jesus, so compelling for so many people, especially people more likely to be desperate like the people of Melinda were. I have a suggestion for all the believers.

You're definitely going to die. It is just a matter of time. So why can't you just wait? If the Bible is true, Jesus isn't going anywhere. Number four, Paul McKenzie wasn't the only pastor associated with the murders. It's estimated that Ezekiel O'dero may have used the same site as a dumping ground for his own bodies. People who died because, like McKenzie, O'dero also advocated against education and medicine.

Medicine is good. Education is good. I know one thing for certain about anyone who tries to convince you otherwise. They are either ignorant, a grifter, or both. Number five, new info. There's one practice we didn't get into regarding Pentecostals. The niche practice of some Pentecostals, not many, but some, the practice of snake handling. Also called serpent handling, it's a religious rite observed in a small number of isolated Pentecostal churches that began in the early 20th century in Appalachia. Or Appalachia, you hog folk, dog folk, sons of bitches!

If believers truly have the Holy Spirit within them, the belief goes they should be able to handle rattlesnakes Any number of other venomous serpents without being bit. They should be able to drink poison and suffer no harm whatsoever Some of that is based on a passage from the New Testament Acts 28 1 through 6 When they were escaped then they knew that the island was called Melida and the barbarous people showed us little showed us no little kindness. For they kindled a fire and received us every one, because of the present rain and because of the cold. And when Paul had gathered a bundle of sticks and laid them on the fire, there came a viper out of the heat and fastened on his hand. And when the barbarians saw the venomous beast hang on his hand,

they said among themselves, No doubt this man is a murderer whom, though he hath escaped the sea, yet vengeance suffereth not to live. And he shook off the beast into the fire and felt no harm. Howbeit they looked when he should have swollen or fallen down dead suddenly. But after they had looked a great while and saw no harm come to him, they changed their minds and said that he was a god. Snake handling churches interpret this not as evidence of a cool miracle, but as an actual call to handle snakes. During the service, believers may approach the front and pick up the snakes, usually raising them into the air, sometimes allowing the snakes to crawl around their bodies. Although individual incidents may actually be understood in a variety of ways, those who die from snake bites are never or rarely

criticized for lack of adequate faith. It's believed they just, it was their time to die. Of course, those who get bitten usually do not seek medical attention, but they look instead to God only for their healing and that works out about as well as you would imagine. Unsurprising, this has led to a lot of tragedies, including an attempted murder in 1992. Glenn Summerford, this guy, the former serpent handling pastor of the Church of Jesus Christ with signs following, located in an abandoned gas station in the area of Sand Mountain, Alabama. This guy looks probably exactly like you're imagining.

He was convicted of attempted murder of his wife with a rattlesnake by forcing her to be bitten on two occasions and one weekend at their home. Darlene's hellish ordeal began on a Friday night when she said her husband Glenn drunkenly accused her of having an affair with another preacher, another snake handler. He then forced her hand into a snake cage where she was bit for the first time, then denied her medical attention. The domestic squabble carried over to the next day, now it's Saturday night, when Summerford in another drunken rage grabs Darlene by the hair, drags her to a shed where he kept 15 snakes. The preacher gave his wife a choice. She could stick her face or her hand in the snake box.

Darlene chose the latter. When the ambulance arrived at the home, Darlene Summerford was already waiting for them in the driveway. She was clutching a substantial wound on her wrist. It was weeping blood. The skin surrounding the gash was already turned black and necrosis had begun to take root of her soft tissue. During the subsequent trial some members of the congregation sided with Glenn because they are fucking morons and others sided with his wife Darlene because they're slightly less stupid. Each some referred to Q as the other of infidelity and backsliding from their faith by drinking alcohol. Glenn was eventually, I'm guessing they were pounding some old crow or the equivalent, Glenn was eventually

convicted of attempted murder and sentenced to 99 years at Bullitt County Correctional Facility where the 79 year old remains to this day. Despite a lot of prayers he was denied parole back in February. There are many more wild stories about snake handlers out there, perhaps we'll save them for an episode of their own one of these days. Time Suck Top 5 Takeaways 400 plus dead in the forest the Malindi doomsday cult has been sucked. Yikes! What a crazy ass tale. Thank you to the Bad Magic Productions team for helping making Time Suck start with Queen of Bad Magic Lindsay Cummins.

Thanks to Logan Keith helping publish the episode, designing merch for the store at badmagicproductions.com and thank you to Sophie Evans again for more killer initial research. Also huge thanks to the Allseen Eyes moderating the Cult of the Curious 3 out of 5 stars private Facebook page. They're fucking rock stars doing a lot to give a lot of people a good sense of community. And now time for this week's updates. Let's start with some laughs. Complete and total idiot.

Long time space lizard, Kyle Terrio, chairs a Cummins law moment that had Lindsay Dine when she read this email. Kyle writes, Hey master sucker, all I can say right now is fuck my life. I've been slightly Cummins law before, but this takes the fucking cake and it's my own damn fault. My wife just became a dental assistant and got a new job at a nice wholesome family dental office. She wanted me to come in for a visit over... She wanted me to come in for a visit for over a month to practice on me. Fast forward to the day I finally have an appointment. I'm listening

to the German pedophile short-suck. Yep, whatever you're picturing, exactly what happened. I paused it right in the middle of you describing Fritz... I paused it right in the middle of you describing Fritz fucking his foster kid. I walk into the dentist's office and they're like, oh, you're her husband. I sit down and I have to look for my work phone number on my phone, which just immediately starts playing full volume in a fucking dentist's office with elderly people and my wife's co-workers who are all women. And you are describing how he fucked all of his foster kids and how he loves them so much. I swear to God, I wanted to end my life right there. No one said anything.

I did the visit. My wife later told me she had to explain that I just listened end my life right there. No one said anything. I did the visit. My wife later told me she had to explain that I just listened to a podcast that says fucked up shit. So you got me, you fucking asshole. Your loyal sucker, Kyle Tarrio, love everything you guys do, three out of five stars wouldn't change a thing. Maybe change that one episode. My god, Kyle.

When I read this, as I was editing my notes, I cry laughed. I think I actually wheezed. Just picturing how fucked up this scene is. They're definitely still talking about you. Some of your wife's new coworkers are for sure concerned for her. Next time you go back in, if you ever do, you should offer to babysit your wife's coworkers' kids to, quote, prove you're not weird. Please try it and report back. Next up, demented pervert Morgan Marbaker shares a repressed memory brought up by listing to last week's suck on Sigmund Freud.

Morgan writes, hey Dan, long time scared to death and times like listener here. Although I was first a fan of your stand-up, my dark-humored husband Michael introduced me to it. That's nice. I just finished listening to the Sigmund Freud episode and while listening I thought to myself, I clearly remember wishing that I had a penis. In fact, my mother has a picture of me trying to pee while standing up at the age of four. Serious penis envy, am I right? I would even stuff socks in my underwear and walk around the house. When my mom asked me what in the world I was doing, I responded with, I'm being like daddy.

My mom loves to tell that story every so often in case I forget. But now that I've listened to this suck I can I don't know proudly tell her that I was a totally normal girl at least in Freud's eyes. So thanks for covering yet another interesting topic and making me feel not as much like a complete weirdo. And if you read this on the show could you give my husband a shout out I'd greatly appreciate it since without him I probably wouldn't have discovered your podcast. Three out of five stars wouldn't change a thing. Loyal time suck lister and scared to death Robert Morgan. Oh, thank you Morgan

Morgan I also laughed so hard at this. You are a complete weirdo by the way But many of us are including myself. I hope that sometimes you still stuff socks into your underwear I just prance around the house. You know, I think you know, I think you should do just to keep your marriage spicy. I think you should seduce, you know, your husband Michael with this following move. When he comes home, one of these days, just be ready. Be waiting for him wearing nothing but underwear with a bunch of socks or maybe like a dildo stuffed in the front. And when he asks you what you're doing, just yell out like in a childlike voice, I'm being like dad.

I'm being like daddy. Just like with Kyle. Please do that and report back. I hope that doesn't work if you do that. It's so creepy. Also, thanks for bringing Morgan into this madness, Michael. And now for one more. Reformsucker, new man, Mega Chad, CJ. Sends it a great update to the old Incel episode. CJ writes, hey there, I've written in before but I'm not sure how I'm wanting to explain this. So apologies ahead of time if it becomes a rambling mess. I've been listening for a long time, getting caught back up recently after taking a break to listen to audiobooks and some other podcasts. How fucking dare you. About a week or two ago, I listened to the Incel-

some other podcasts. How fucking dare you. About a week or two ago I listened to the Incelisphere episode and while what I have to say doesn't really directly relate to the content, I want to share my experience from what I listened. I'm 26 and a recovering alcoholic. I've been sober for a little over three years now. That's awesome. When I was drinking it dominated my life and darkened my mind. I was angry at myself, at the world, and at God. I hated everyone around me, believed they hated me too, including my family. I had very well brainwashed myself into being the absolute worst I could be because I didn't think life was worth being a good person. And listening to that episode threw me back to what my mind was like at that point. I was just adjacent to the woman-hating ideology of that group.

So close to finding a new group to blame for my hardships because I was tired of blaming myself. And I was ingesting so much negative content, I can't believe I didn't make it there. I guess what I'm saying is, is that I felt what that group feels now. Overwhelming hatred, inadequacy, denial, fear, and looking back on those times, listening to that episode, I actually started to cry because I realized how close I was to the point of no return. Had I not gotten sober and gone to rehab, met my now wife and her son and had another son of our own, I would have been dead or worse. I don't know the point I'm trying to make.

I guess I'm trying to say thank you for that realization. I never would have looked back on that time and noticed how close I was to a fate worse than death. Living in more hatred than I already was had it not been for that episode. I have more gratitude for my life now than ever before because of it. I apologize if none of this makes sense, but I had to give context for my thanks. And an episode idea? Do you want about Alcoholics Anonymous? AA and its founding. It's an amazing story and there's a reason it's a story still being told that's helping thousands get sober every year. I love the podcast everything you guys do over there. CJ. Well CJ, no that made total sense. That was a great update.

So glad you dug deep. You had the balls to deal with your own shit and to stop blaming the world for your own choices. Right? So hard to deal with the problem of your own making if you can't hold yourself accountable. And yeah, that's a great topic suggestion again. Yeah, so happy you recognize what a negative feedback loop you'd fallen into. A simple perspective shift can be miraculous. I've actually been working on that a lot myself the past few weeks. I have these stupid insecurities and anger and self-loathing triggers from my childhood so many fucking years ago that I realized recently I've just ignored and never really addressed just

kept like nah nah just push it down and one just kind of flared up somewhat somewhat out of nowhere recently just reared his ugly head for the first time in a long time, a feeling that I thought I was finally done with. And it kind of freaked me out. I'm like, why am I back here? And instead of avoiding it again, I dug in, forced myself to really examine some things that happened and get to the source of a lot of the anger and shame

and work on saying goodbye to it, you know, and not being afraid of it coming back again because I made my peace with it it, forgiving myself, forgiving others, sorry for being cryptic. It's just a, it's complicated to get into. But I realized it has been fucking with my perspective for most of my life, because I have let it, and shifting my perspective has left me feeling so grateful for my life recently. I think I subconsciously constantly was just giving myself so much work to do to avoid thinking about certain shit. And I'm finally addressing it and just working on enjoying wherever the fuck I'm at for the day.

You know, I can't change it. And it's making a huge difference. My overall happiness and just feelings of self-worth. And I know maybe I'm not making sense now, but I was saying that to say that I get it. I get how we can get so lost in a rational anger It can drown us how we can think it's others that are holding us under the water But but once we finally are able to break our head above the surface. No one no one else is there It was just us the whole time Holding ourselves down and the mind is such a powerful muscle for better or for worse

I'm glad you're swimming dude. Keep to keep the head above water. Enjoy the beautiful life You've got it cuz the only life you got right right it's the only one you have so you might as well enjoy it I mean you're stuck living it hail Nimrod and thanks for the messages everybody we all did well thank you for listening to another bad magic productions podcast scared to death and time suck each week. Short sucks and nightmare fuel on the time suck and scared to death podcast feed some weeks.

Don't try to faith heal anyone this week. Unless you're also encouraging them to get medical treatment and you just want to cover all your bases. All right, I get it. Or you want them to die. And keep on sucking. Let's hear a little more from Pastor Ulf Ekman again. This comes from a regular Pentecostal church service back in the 90s in Sweden, of all places. oh I got the old time video. Are you ready when the bridegroom comes?

Are you ready when the bridegroom comes? You, yeah, what? I don't believe this has anything to do with God, but I would go to that church. I would pay to see that. More entertaining than a lot of stand-up comedy shows I've been to over the years.