Timesuck with Dan Cummins - 500 - Blowing Through the Mushroom Murders

Episode Date: March 30, 2026

The 500th episode! And for the 500th straight week of Timesuck, I will not be in my right mind (but is it ever right?). I'll also be sharing the story of the 2023 Leongatha, Australia Mushroom Murders, when four family members all became violently ill after eating a lunch prepared by Erin Patterson. A meal laced with death cap mushrooms. This case riveted Australia like few others in recent memory. Listen to find out why!  Thank you for keeping this podcast going! And check out https://bobsbountifulbonsaifruit.biz/  Merch and more: www.badmagicproductions.com  Timesuck Discord! https://discord.gg/tqzH89v Want to join the Cult of the Curious PrivateFacebook Group? Go directly to Facebook and search for "Cult of the Curious" to locate whatever happens to be our most current page :) For all merch-related questions/problems: [e-mail] (copy and paste) Please rate and subscribe on Apple Podcasts and elsewhere and follow the suck on social media!! @timesuckpodcast on IG and http://www.facebook.com/timesuckpodcast Wanna become a Space Lizard? Click here: https://www.patreon.com/timesuckpodcast. Sign up through Patreon, and for $5 a month, you get access to the entire Secret Suck catalog (295 episodes) PLUS the entire catalog of Timesuck, AD FREE. You'll also get 20% off of all regular Timesuck merch PLUS access to exclusive Space Lizard merch. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

On July 29, 23, five people sat down for lunch at a home in Leongotha, Victoria, Australia. Leon Gotha is a small, sleepy town about an hour and a half's drive southeast of Melbourne, surrounded by rolling green hills, award-winning wineries, and dairy cows, grazing, serenely in pastures, the kind of place where everyone knows each other and people tend to leave their doors unlocked. The hostess of the lunch, Erin Patterson, was a devoted mother who loved her children more than anything. an incredibly generous woman who still loaned her husband's family hundreds of thousands of dollars to help them buy homes, even after the two had separated yet again. A bookish woman who went to church, volunteered, loved to learn. A woman described as smart and witty, but not dangerous.

No one would have thought so, except for maybe one person. Her estranged husband, Simon, after nearly dying three separate times in the past two years, getting horrifically sick after eating food made by Aaron each time, he was starting to wonder what his on again, off again, partner and mother of his two children was truly capable of. And that's why he had turned down an invitation to this fateful lunch. But his parents, despite being warned that maybe Aaron wasn't who they thought she was, they still showed up, as did his aunt and uncle. And they had a truly delicious lunch, told friends and family afterwards that it was a fantastic afternoon. But then late that night, all four guests who had eaten lunch with Aaron Patterson became terribly violently ill. and within days three of them will be dead,

and the fourth will appear as if he will soon join them. This week I'll be sharing a story about a fake cancer diagnosis, about an Asian grocer that did not exist, about a woman much stranger and secretive than she appeared at first glance, and some death-cap mushrooms found under some oak trees, on another true crime, why did they do it? Murder mystery, how difficult will the Coke make it to tell this tale edition of TimeSuck? This is Michael McDonald, and you're listening.

listening to time suck. You're listening to TimeSuck. Well, happy Monday. Welcome or welcome back to the cult of the curious. I'm Dan Cummins, the master's sucker, part Lemurian, part Atlantean, frequent flyer on the astral plane, and you are listening to TimeSuck. Hail Nimrod, Hail Lucifina, praise be to Good Boy, Bojangles, and Glory B to Triple M, 500 Monday episodes right now. This is the 500th one, 500 straight weeks of Time Suck now. to September 18th, 2016, when I spent just a little over 30 minutes talking about the lizard

Illuminati. Man, thanks for still being on this ride. Those of you who have been on it since the beginning, for the 100th episode, you will know that I decided to celebrate with some cocktails. The drunk as fuck-suck of the Axemen of New Orleans. Lindsay had to help me finish that one, and I believe that's where the three-to-five stars joke originated. Then for the 200th episode, it was the shrewmed and doomed West Mesa Bone,

collector suck. Oh man. For 300, Bass Reeves on acid, tripping in the wild west, the LSD fucking destroyed me on that one. Could not make it through it. But it's so fun to try. For 400, it was Molly and Michael Jackson rolling on the king of pop. For that one, I think the feedback was you couldn't really tell how high it was. I felt fucking amazing. For 420, existentialism and weed, I'm high and we're all going to die. And now for 500, it was supposed to be the mushroom murders on special K. I was going to take ketamine. I had all these ketamine facts and history written out for you.

I was very excited. I've never done it. But the ketamine that I got tested positive for fentanyl. So that experience will have to wait. Always test. Fucking so glad I tested, Jesus Christ. What tested negative for fentanyl, though? Maybe some cocaine.

I know. I know. I get a lot of judgment for this one. I think more than other drugs. I was hesitant to do an episode on Coke. It is such a destructive drug. So let me make it clear. This is in fucking zero way an endorsement for cocaine use.

It is highly addictive, very expensive, often dirty, dangerous, thanks to getting crushed with all sorts of nasty shit. I have made fun of it so many times. It is easy to overdose on if you are not careful. People die, thanks to Coke overdoses all the time, sadly. That is why I was very careful. Thoroughly tested it. Tested negative three separate times.

Made sure the fentanyl strips I was using worked by doing several controlled tests. with just water, then use the same strips for the ketamine that tested positive for fentanyl three separate times. Use those strips to make sure the Coke tested negative multiple times. And here we are. I've set aside about 140 milligrams. Anything over 90 is considered a real heavy dose. Strong dose between 60 and 90. And so what I'm going to do is I'm going to pause the episode at the start of the time suck timeline. You won't hear it, right? I'll just jump right back. But what will happen when you're listening to the music is I have paused the episode, the recording, I have gone. I'll take my first line.

And then, and my voice sounds different right now. It's because I've had the never-ending fucking crud that has been going around here for the last month. It's been fucking annoying. Then I'll take what's left after the timeline. And then I'm sure I'll fucking wish I had more. That's one of the biggest problems with Coke. Once you start doing it, you just want to keep doing it and doing it and doing it because it feels fucking amazing. That's how it destroys people's lives.

It just floods your brain's reward pathways with so much dopamine by block the normal reabsor or re-uptake of this neurotransmitter, and that process causes dopamine to build up in the synapse, the gap between the nerve cells, resulting in an over-activation of receiving cells and producing very intense feelings of euphoria.

And that is the word I would use to describe the high, right? Euphoric. It didn't get popular because it makes you feel terrible. Also, I have two Narcan, single-dose nasal sprays nearby in the, you know, rare case of some kind of possible overdose.

I'm not worried about that, but I have them, as you should, will not be taking anywhere near the amount that would likely hurt somebody my size, but being safe and lindsay nearby in case something goes wrong. Cocaine typically comes on quickly in just a few minutes. High can last anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour or more. A lot of variance, you know, based on somebody's brain chemistry, the tolerance, the quality of what the coke is. I haven't done it in a couple years.

Other than a quick rub of some dust on my gumps from this batch that let me know, it's fucking very strong. Feels pretty pure. Hoping to feel a real euphoric early on in the timeline, hoping to do all the hallmarks of intense happiness, increased energy, feeling more social,

more talkative, more confident, more alert, hoping to feel like this song. I want to be the fucking human equivalent of this kind of happiness. Oh, Triple M just feels right.

Also, you know, I'm gonna let this, I'll stop it. I've been terrible about, one more thing. I've been terrible about promoting

bad magic productions The past few, well, years. But Logan has kept making new merch. And in honor of 500 episodes, he's made a Hollywood and Speedbump coffee mug, a camo hoodie, a new five-panel hat, a Dan Sanitarium tea, and he brought back a bunch of classics. There's so much in the store. Also a pair of killer new Brent Muir designs. He's so fucking good.

I especially love the cult of the suck graphic tea. Kind of gives me grind house, bee horror movie vibes in the best way. It's fucking sexy. and that's it. So going to dig into this story. Give a little control sample, right, before the timeline, normal me, and then we'll see if I change. Let's get started.

Aaron Patterson was your typical average 48-year-old woman. To many, if anything, stood out about her. It was, well, how painfully normal she seemed. Kind of boring. She didn't get out much. Wasn't dating anyone. Was kind of a homebody, bit introverted, dressed very, very casually. A lot of sweatpants.

didn't drive a flashy car. Her look very, very average, camousy, bookish, stay-at-home mom vibes. She had no significant criminal record, just a DUI for many years earlier. She'd gone to college, done well, worked a few jobs,

feedback mixed there. But then thanks to a pair of rather large inheritances, had not worked a regular gig in many, many years. She bickered with her estranged husband, but also still got along famously with her in-laws.

She was the last person, most people would suspect of killing several people. On July 29, 2023, Aaron Patterson hosted her in-laws, Dawn and Gail Patterson, along with Gil's sister Heather and Heather's husband, Ian Wilkinson, who was her pastor at a local church over for lunch. A very special lunch. She invited them over to discuss some kind of life-threatening diagnosis. She said she was scared.

She wanted to ask for their help and how to break the news to her children. She appealed to their sense of decency. and even the Wilkinsons were really more acquaintances, or even though they were, you know, more acquaintances and friends, they still came over. Aaron was a great cook, regular hostess, but instead of the typical shepherd's pie, her father-in-law especially loved, she decided to make a more complex special dish for this occasion. Beef Wellington served with sides of mashed potatoes and green beans, a fruit platter, and some orange poppy seed cake for dessert. Sounds delicious. And apparently it was.

She was a great cook. Her guests gushed over what a fabulous meal she had prepared. But then, holy shit, would they regret ever eating this meal after waking up sick in the middle of the night following this meal? Hidden inside the beef Wellington was something that did not belong anywhere near a kitchen or a dinner table. Death cap mushrooms. Native to Europe, these mushrooms arrived in Australia by accident. Their presence was first confirmed in Australia in the 1960s. They'd very likely probably already been around undetected for,

probably quite a bit longer than that. Death cap mushrooms commonly grow near oak trees. They're an ectomycor... Oh, this is a big-ass fucking word. Ectomycorizo. Ectomicorizal. Ectomacorizal fungi

that form symbiotic relationships with hardwood trees, particularly oaks. And they're quite rare. They only appear above ground for a couple of weeks, sometimes only a couple of days, before they start to decay. And death-cap mushrooms, as their ominous name implies, contain very powerful toxins that stop the production of protein in liver cells,

and then those cells begin to die, leading to possible, if not probable liver failure in death. Treatments are available, but none of them are 100% effective. Best case. Seems like you have about a coin toss chance of living if you eat this shit. The death cap mushroom is responsible for approximately nine out of every 10 mushroom poisoning deaths. Death caps look similar to commonly found perfectly safe. edible mushrooms used in cooking. The innocuous look, feel, even taste of a death cap mushroom means it can be very hard for someone who has eaten one to even know that they have been poisoned.

I looked at so many pictures online and they look so harmless. There's nothing that screams, do not eat this. They just look a lot like mushrooms I've seen at the grocery store. But just a single mushroom has more than enough nastiness inside of it to kill an adult. And they'd be easy to eat if somebody added them to your dish because they're reported to taste quite pleasant, often described as having a mild sweet or nutty flavor similar to edible straw mushrooms or common field mushrooms. Their pleasant taste combined with a mild odor when young gives zero hint of their extreme toxicity. So how did a bunch of death cap mushrooms get into that

lovely meal? Aaron would initially tell investigators that they must have gotten mixed up with some mushrooms she had purchased from Woolworths, Australia's largest supermarket chain, and some other mushrooms that she had got from a local Asian grocer. that she was completely oblivious to what they really were. What a terrible mistake. Who put those mushrooms in the store? That's crazy. We need to find that person and punish them.

But if her story were true, then there would have almost certainly been other reports of other death cap mushroom poisons in the area around that same time period, but there definitely was not. Also, since Aaron herself had eaten the same meal, why didn't she get deathly sick, like everybody else who ate it?

Did Aaron perhaps very intentionally add some locally forged mushrooms into a dish that she knew were poisonous. And if so, why? Was she a cold-blooded psychopath who'd been planning this for months, researching death caps online, foraging them, dehydrating them, serving them in individual portions to try and ensure that no one she wanted dead would survive? Right. Again, why?

Why would she murder four allegedly lovely, elderly people who were said to bring nothing but joy and light to their friends, families, and their communities? Including her, people who even erring herself said had been nothing but kind and good, stepping in as her de facto family after she had lost her own. Right? Killing these people didn't make any sense for Aaron. So is she innocent? Is she exactly who she has claimed to be a woman who made a terrible, tragic mistake? Well, a jury decided her fate this past summer. And if you're not already familiar with this case, you will soon find out what her fate is. Let's jump into the timeline now to learn more about Aaron, the day of the fateful meal,

and what happened in the trial that followed and as a reminder, I'm going to stop down. I'm going to take some stuff real quick, you know. Not putting this one on video, by the way. I don't need that documentation out there with this stuff. I would rather not have me doing lines recorded. And also, if somehow this were to get back to sponsors, I am fucking kidding.

And I'm going to be totally sober when I return from this timeline. Shrap on those boots, soldier. We're marching down a time-suck timeline. Okay. So, just about a minute ago. Probably take a couple minutes to set in. Just feeling a little numb. September 30th, 1974, Aaron Trudy Scudder,

was born and bred in Glenn Waverly, a middle-class suburb located deep in the southeastern suburbs of Melbourne in the Australian state of Victoria. And so we find ourselves back in the never-ending suburbs of Melbourne. So very soon after the Mr. cruel episode. The many, many suburbs of Melbourne. Some say they're infinite, that you'll die before ever visiting them all if you should be so flu as many of them this week, though. Back in the 1970s, Glenn Waverly was by the standards of people who live there, pretty dull

suburb, a quote, white-bred suburb of sausage rolls and apple scrolls, as one local put it. Families predominantly filled the homes of Glen Waverly, which back then was a semi-rural suburb on its way to becoming firmly rooted in suburbia as the Melbourne metro area continued to grow around it. Glenn Waverly was the site of the state of victorious first McDonald's that opened to the 12th of September, 1973. And that is pretty much as far as I can tell, it's only a claim to fame, even though it's not really a claim to fame.

Since the early 2000s, Glenn Waverly has expanded significantly becoming home to a large Asian community, plenty of highly sought after public schools, grew from over 36,000. in 2000, over 42,000 now. We don't have census data from when Aaron grew up there, but anecdotally, it was a lot less populated and a lot sleep here. And my lips are now, but I'm feeling pretty good. Aaron grew up an humble brick home on a quiet leafy street. Gum trees lined the front yard, parklands,

horse riding trails weren't far away, very safe, very comfortable. Aaron's family was a bookish intellectual one. Her mother, Heather Scudder, was a much respected lecturer at nearby Manash University, Australia's largest university, also an expert in death cap mushrooms and taught a class on how to kill people with free shit you can find in the woods.

No, she taught a class on children's literature. Also, I put this episode notes together a while ago, so I'd be surprised. So I worked on a bunch of other scared of death and time sucked stuff and came back to this so it feels fresh. Honestly, when I was in college, if there would have been a class called

How to Kill People with Free Shit you can find in the woods, I'd probably have taken it. Aaron's sister Canwin Would grow up To become a scientist Also working at Manash University

Specializing in geology You can find an old YouTube video For the Manash University Archives Of her talking about Volcanoes and their relation

To dinosaurs Going extinct She seems totally normal Very intelligent She does seem boring Right? I don't have this in my notes Now I'm going off notes

already She seems She seems boring She seems very introverted And just kind of don't But other than that Normal For decades

Gates-Mannash University has led the PAC as one of Australia's top universities founded in 1958. It's focused largely on research, particularly in science and technology, with an additional emphasis in cocaine. Now, working there was an impressive feat for both Aaron's sister and her mom, and Aaron was deemed even more academically gifted than her sister. But according to Aaron, growing up in an intellectual, high-achieving household came at a price. She claimed her mother was cold, critical, and emotionally neglectful, that she and her sister would literally hide in their rooms to escape their mother's wrath. She also said when I was a kid, mom would weigh us every week to make sure we weren't putting on too much weight, and so I went to the extreme of barely eating.

She would testify at her trial for later multiple murders that her lifelong battles with eating disorders and low self-esteem began with this behavior, also saying, I'd been fighting a never-ending battle of low self-esteem most of my adult life, and the further inroads, I made into being middle-aged, the less, less good I felt about myself. She probably should have tried some of this stuff. She'd feel fucking pretty good, at least for a little while. In text messages obtained by the Harold's son, Aaron wrote of her childhood. We had a horrible upbringing.

Mom was essentially a cold robot. It was like being brought up in a Russian orphanage where they don't touch babies. Now I kind of want to do the robot dance, but no one's even could see. Doesn't exactly sound like a wonderful loving home to have grown up in. But is this commentary true? A fair assessment? Maybe not. Aaron's later court testimony will make it abundantly clear that she is not a reliable narrator. However, certain behavior throughout her life does suggest that something may have been a little off with her family. Again, sisters seemed a little bit weird. She definitely gravitated towards her husband's family seeking refuge and support from them, while her own parents were conspicuously absent from many key moments of her adult life. Whether her childhood was as she described or not, it is safe to say that Aaron and her family were not terribly close in many, many ways. whose fault that is,

Aaron's or her families, is anyone's guess. Her sister can win, interestingly, will not testify as to Aaron's character at her trial. Won't make an appearance at all. Her parents also won't, but that's, you know, they're dead at that point,

so that makes sense. Aaron's mother, Heather Scudder, would pass away in January of 2019, and at the time, any former colleagues would remember the academic as a lovely co-worker who was highly dedicated to her job, but not somebody they necessarily socialized with.

She seemed like a pretty private person, as did Kane win, I should add. According to one Reddit user, I took two classes with the mother, Heather, and she was a fantastic teacher. My second favorite at Manash. She was far from cold and was a first-rate mind and really encouraging in my writing. She took a genuine interest in her students' thoughts and was also a feminist. I thought she would have been an awesome mother. Just one person's opinion, of course, but an opinion that seemed important to share. also I can't fill my teeth.

Aaron's father, Aeton Hugh Scudder, who by Hugh, very successful as well. Seems fairly quiet, private guy. He held director roles in multiple Australian companies, including his home state of South Australia and at Eden in New South Wales.

Despite his career success, Aaron Patterson called her dad a, quote, Dormat. She said, Dad wanted to be warm and loving to us, but Mom wouldn't let him because it would spoil us. So he did as he was told.

Aaron attended University High School in Parkville, another suburb, a very desirable school known locally as uni high that offered accelerated classes for academically gifted kids who would be continuing their education after high school. Some journalists for the Harold's son were able to track down and speak with about a dozen of her former classmates. Most did not remember her. Those who did remember that she was in the accelerator program, that she was one of the gifted students. One of the students who did remember her said that she didn't initially connect the dots when the name Aaron Patterson made headless. lines in Australia of 2023. When it clicked who she was that Aaron Patterson was Aaron Scudder, she was shocked because

she remembered Aaron being a quiet, reserve polite kid, a rule follower. Somebody who seemed kind of mousy. Somebody who would never fucking do an episode like this. A very non-threatening chill kid. Somebody who didn't associate with many of the other students but kept themselves. She also remembered, as did a few

other former classmates, that Aaron was exceptionally passionate about math and science, very academically focused. Many people online have speculated Aaron was, is on the autism spectrum. While the journalists were unable to track down and speak with anybody, who was particularly close with Aaron, some of the people interviewed did say that she had friends. She hung out with a little social group made up of other kids and that accelerated program

wasn't a loner and she seemed happy to most of those who interviewed. And she seemed happy to most of the people who were interviewed. She seemed well adjusted. However, one person who described themselves is a sister of one of Aaron's close. his friends at the school said that their sister described Aaron as a brilliant but unhinged person. That's an interesting quote, unhinged. Also, I wish I could record this from a hot tub right now. A few others who knew Aaron as a young adult spoke similarly of her, not how she was just fucking odd. I guess I'm odd. That's all we really know about her childhood. In 1992, Aaron graduated from

high school and was accepted into a science program at the University of Melbourne. very exciting academically speaking, the University of Melbourne, Australia's highest-ranked university, considered a tier above Monash, maybe gave her some bragging rights over her mom and sister. Little ways in the studying for a science degree,

she decided, ah, not my thing. Switched over to study business accounting, and then she would stick with that degree. However, when she graduated, a little unclear, as is what kind of student she was, based on journalists, having a hard time tracking down people who actually knew her. I'm going to say she was probably,

probably not incredibly popular. It wasn't exactly big on the campus party scene. Probably mostly kept to herself. She began studying, I don't know how fast I'm talking. She began studying at the University of, at the University in 1992, and we don't know based on public records other than studying and getting a degree, what she did for her college years or the five or six years that followed. My mouth is so numb.

In February of 2001, nine years after graduating high school, Scudder became an air traffic controller. She was excited. I could fucking air traffic control right now. I could be locked in. She was accepted into the notoriously difficult training program to become an air traffic controller with Air Services Australia at the Melbourne Airport. This was not a program.

Just anybody could get into. It demanded a high level of intelligence. In a single shift, a controller was responsible for the safety of thousands of passengers. You got to be confident, calm, resilient, able to think in three dimensions. As you're speaking to pilots, you're judging the aircraft's trajectory to the air in terms of heading. level, speed. I guess it's like playing like a giant video game or 3D chess. I've gotten pretty good Fortnite.

I can probably do it. I shouldn't be allowed to do it. At Air Services Australia, Aaron was part of a small training group of around 14 people. The trainees became, I guess, close like a second family, except for Aaron, because she's a fucking weirdo. She was not part of that work family. In the roughly year and a half that Aaron was at Air Services, Australia, she gained quite a reputation, not in a good way. Her colleagues would call her crazy Aaron, not very creative.

but also Scudder the Nutter behind her back. That's a good one. Scudder the Nutter has a nice ring to it. Aaron Scudder apparently was not just a bit of a harmless oddball either there. Her former colleagues described her as a pathological liar who pulled all these bizarre stunts for an audience of just one person herself. For example, one day Aaron pretended to be one of her colleagues. And she called her boss pretending to be sick,

says you couldn't come in to work that day. And then when the impersonated colleagues showed up, the boss was, you know, fucking confused. And then Aaron was heard giggling in the corner, but there wasn't a joke she shared with everybody. No one else was laughing. They weren't in on it. And they didn't think it was funny.

Reflecting on this years later, Aaron's former colleagues were not sure if this was meant to be some sort of prank or if it was a ploy to pick up more lucrative shifts covering the sick leave of others. Aaron's former colleagues also said she was aggressive and how she talked to others. Confrontational, argumentative. They spoke of attention while dealing with Aaron

when they were always unsure how she would act. She wasn't necessarily always unpleasant to be around, but you tended to be wary that she could snap or say something unpleasant at the drop of a hat, they said. She once made a bullying complaint against another air traffic controller. She was the only person on the team who regularly declined what few invitations to social activities she got. She also would apparently say random off the wall shit that people couldn't make sense of from time to time and was very secretive. That's a word that comes up a lot secretive. still Aaron's former colleague did agree on one thing.

She was bright. She'd taken the notoriously difficult test to become an air traffic controller had been one of the few to make it through the training program from her class. So book-wise, intelligent. Social skill-wise, not so much. She would not last long as an air traffic controller. A thousand planes would crash while she worked there. No.

Her manager had suspected her of having left work early after claiming to have worked a full day. after confronting herring about this and having her deny it they checked some CCTV footage found out that she had indeed been doing exactly what they accused her of it seems like a dangerous job to leave early when confronted with this evidence she allegedly just laughed kind of shrugged her shoulders and said quote ah you got me there that cracked me up on the first redid yep I lied

you got me no sense of denying it now is there well played good job she was fired in November of 2002 her next job was in a totally different field sometime between late 2002 and early 2004, she had been working in animal management for the R.S.PCA, the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.

This is an organization that's kind of like the UK and Australia's version of PETA. She worked out of their office in the city of Monash's council building in 2004, working out of this council building. She met a council engineer named Simon Patterson,

and she thought he had a nice wiener, potentially. At first, they were just friends. And then it sounds like they maybe became friends with benefits, but it doesn't say that for sure. They hung out. They went on camping trips together, just the two of them with like no strings attached.

So I'm going to guess they were doing stuff, you know. They also might have been platonic, though. It's not clear. I don't want to sound cruel. But when I've seen videos of both Simon and Aaron, I'm surprised they ever had kids. They have the same amount of sexual energy exuding from them as like a Thomas Kincaid painting.

Or like a CPAP machine. That same year that Aaron met Simon, she had a serious brush with the law. For reasons unknown, she was driving an unregistered car. She'd been drinking too much, lost control of her vehicle, crashed into another car. The crash was fortunately non-fatal, but she did not stop to check another driver. That's a no-no. She didn't hand over her name or address.

She just fucking took off. She fled the scene. When the cops cut up with her, they shot her to death. That's fucking non-s. Why am I saying that? She had almost three times over the legal blood alcohol concentration. limit of 0.05%. It's low there. She was also driving 35 kilometers per hour over the speed limit in a 60 kilometer per hour zone about 22 miles per hour over the speed limit. 20, wait, no, yes,

22. Yes, Miles for that part. Aaron pled guilty was fine $1,000 and she paid it off in $40 monthly installments. That's true. That's a little bit. That's a tiny installment. Her license was canceled. She was disqualified from driving to Victoria for the following two and a half years. but this running with the law did not seem to deter Simon because he had few options I'm just guessing why am I being mean to him

I don't know this guy he was in love with her mind that's what he said the two had been having deep conversations about art, politics and religion he loved how witty and smart she was but they didn't have too much in common at a core foundational level

Simon was a devout Christian Aaron was a Satanist no she was an atheist that would be funny if she was a Satanist their outlooks on the nature of life were totally at odds with one another. But still, they enjoyed, how is my mouth getting more known? But still they enjoyed engaging in friendly debates, including about religion,

with Aaron playfully trying to convert him into being an atheist. Not funny, Aaron, if he fucking loses his soul, is it? Then as their relationship progressed, Aaron became more open and curious to see what the Christian stuff was about. And she eventually agreed to join Simon one Sunday at a service at his family church in Kurumbura, small town of 5,000, about 120 kilometers southeast of Melbourne. where Don and Gail Patterson, Simon's parents lived,

and where Simon's uncle, Ian Wilkinson, was the pastor. And this has nothing to do with anything, but I just want to hear it for a second. Yes, James Ingram. You know these guys did a lot of fucking blow back then. They did. Simon and Aaron made the one-hour drive from the outskirts of Melbourne. To the Kurimboro Baptist Church, a quaint country church, with yellow panels and a pointed roof with dark green trimmings.

Aaron was very excited to attend her first-ever church, service. See what this religion stuff was all about. And as she sat in the pews with Simon by her side, Pastor Ian Wilkinson began his sermon, standing in front of a banner that read faith, hope, and love. And once his sermon was complete, she burst into flames. No, he invited the congregation to come up and receive their communion and blessing. And Aaron said she had a spiritual awakening. She felt there was something incredibly comforting and magical about this group church experience. This exact service marked a real turning point in Aaron's life. Up until this point, Aaron had approached religion as a sort of intellectual exercise, something to be debated and prodded, does it make sense? Is it rational,

et cetera? But this religious experience totally overwhelmed her. It was all feeling and emotion. Now her body fell out of odds with her brain. And that was how Aaron Patterson became a Christian. I wish I could be high forever. You know? I know you're not supposed to say stuff like that, but I do wish that. Right now, I wish that. And with that ideological obstacle, no longer standing in between Aaron and Simon. Now it was full speed ahead with their relationship. By July 2005, Aaron Scudder and Simon Patterson were officially an item. They started to go to Bible studies together. They kept going on camping trips.

A lot of camping started to regularly visit Simon's parents, Don and Gale, on the weekend. There might have been some hand jobs, probably some fingering going on. Not everyone thinks that goes against scripture, by the way. I googled. This is true. I put it in Google. Is the Bible against hand jobs? And the overview that came back began with this sentence.

The Bible does not explicitly mention hand jobs. I thought that was kind of funny. I also enjoyed the sentences that followed. Quote, however, many conservative Christian interpretations consider any sexual activity outside of marriage, including hand jobs to be sinful, sexual immorality slash fornication. The perspective often hinges on whether the act involves lust or violates the sanctity of marriage.

Thank you for taking my query so seriously, robot. I would say that the act almost certainly involves lust. I would fucking hope it does. I think I would find a handjob minus lust. Creepy. I feel like I was being studied. that my seed was being milked some sort of detached clinical research program

I wouldn't want to be jerked off in a non-lustful way naturally I had to follow up that first search with a question is the Bible against fingering and I was surprised that the answer was a little different this overview said the Bible does not explicitly mention fingering but most traditional traditional Christian interpretations consider any sexual simulation outside of marriage to be fornication and sinful

the Bible defines sexual intimacy as being designed for a husband and wife urging believers to flee from sexual immorality. It feels like the robot I talk to is sexist. Seems, I feel like they're fucking judge you're about fingering than handjobs. So sorry, ladies. Your pussies are evil. That's what I took away from that, right? Obviously.

Okay, now let's get back to this actual story. Right after today's first and two, mid-show sponsor breaks. If you don't want to hear these ads, ever again, please sign out to be a space editor on Patreon. Help us make monthly charitable contributions. Get the catalog guide free. Episodes three days early and more. Thanks for listen to our sponsors. I wish that one of our sponsors

was for something special right now. Now let's get back to the summer of 2005. Simon's parents, Don and Gale. They make me think of Miami Vice for some reason. Don and Gale. Don Johnson. Why am I thinking about his parents or the fucking detectives on Miami Vice?

They were much loved members of the Kurum Borough community. had nothing to do with Miami Vice. Don Patterson was a devoted high school teacher at Curranborough High School. Pretty much everybody of a certain generation in town had been taught by him at some point. His wife, Gail, was an office administrator at the same school. She knew everybody. Everybody knew her.

She's known around town for, you know, being a nice person. She's kind and generous. Simon also had two siblings. Three siblings. He had three siblings, but two of them show up in this episode. Anna and Matthew, the two that show up. And they also lived in Curram Borough, or at least near Curumborough. and I have the other siblings named later my notes.

They were close-knit, good, wholesome family, according to all the sources I could find. And after a couple years of dating with or without hand jobs or fingering, Simon Patterson popped the question and Aaron said yes. And then the very next year, the young-engaged couple's financial situation would change dramatically. In July of 2006, Aaron's beloved paternal grandmother died in Adelaide, South Australia. On her will, the Egyptian-born, Ores Scudder, left her house to one grandson, with the rest of her significant estate divided between her two sons,

including Aaron's father and seven grandkids. Orriss gutter had a lot to give around. She wasn't just rich when she passed away. She was wealthy. Aaron's share of the estate after it was divided nine times. Still ended up being worth the right around $2 million to be distributed over eight years.

Not going to lie, I'm always a bit jealous when I hear about people getting a big inheritance. That's just a foreign concept to me. I know I've said it before, but growing up, we didn't have a lot of money. Not my mom or my dad. My dad was a usual.

either bankrupt or in debt. My mom had to save up, change in like this big, fucking huge, thick glass jar for a couple years so we could have this one proper vacation to Disneyland. We were growing up. We drove from Riggins. I didn't drive. I was a little kid. She drove from Riggins to Los Angeles.

And obviously, Knottesbury Farms, Universal Studios went there too. I have some cousins who got a bit of an inheritance once. I think it was like life insurance related, maybe to a parent dying. Maybe their grandpa. I can't remember. I remember hearing about. one cousin getting $25,000, and I was like, damn, that's crazy. They used to open up a new

business, and they worked there for years. That was a pointless story. I also many years later in L.A. was friends with a guy who got an $800,000 inheritance from his grandma, and she wasn't even dead. She just gave it to him and used it to buy a house. And that's the most anybody I've ever known has gotten that I'm aware of.

No, that's not true. I know another person down there who got a couple million dollars. Getting $2 million out of the blue in your early 30s. That's fucking crazy. It's like hitting a lottery, except if you didn't even buy a ticket. And I know somebody died to make this happen for Aaron, and that's sad. But maybe they were a thousand years old. I don't know.

What a life-altering experience. In 2007, a year after getting their first big payment, Aaron and Simon Patterson get married. The wedding was a Patterson family affair. Don and Gale hired a marquee, put on a buffet for everybody. Who doesn't love a buffet? The wedding ceremony was held at the Kurumbura Anglican Church instead of the Baptist Church where Simon's uncle Ian normally preached on the weekends. They did that so Ian and his wife Heather could attend the new nephew's wedding as guests.

and enjoy themselves and not have to work. Simon's whole family was there, his sister, brothers, fucking another brother, cousins, aunts, uncles. Aaron's family, the other hand, they were all busy. And that's fucking weird. None of them were dead at this point.

She only has that one sibling or sister can win who just did not show up. And she lived with like a couple hours away. And her parents who also would live within a few hours, they didn't make it to their daughter's wedding either. They only have two kids. Aaron explained that her parents' absence as them being both

quote on a train in Russia that's fucking weird oh my parents gonna come to my wedding they're on a train right now in Russia they're stuck on a train in Russia I can't find an explanation for why Canwin didn't show up Simon's cousin David

walked Aaron down the aisle instead that's sad she couldn't even get a fucking cousin to walk her down the aisle and now I have to wonder to Aaron's family not attend her wedding because they are fucked up or because she's fucked up

did they hate Simon did they hate Simon's family I doubt it That doesn't seem to be the case. No one fucking seemed to hate Simon's family. Whatever was the reason. Seems pretty obvious. The relationship, very damaged.

Even if there was tension between Aaron's parents and Simon, or Aaron's parents and Simon's parents, you would think they could set that aside for one day to attend the wedding, but they did not. Now cushioned by Aaron's and, but she still got money. Oh, that was from the grandma. Aaron and Simon gave away all their belongings.

They quit their jobs. They hit the open road in a new Nissan patrol. Four-wheel drive SUV, truly built for off-roading. I watched some old commercials on YouTube. They look very Australian to me. And they look very fun. Simon and Aaron proceeded to drive all around Australia.

I picture them fucking going off jumps, like, wait, getting catching a lot of air. They probably didn't do that. They're for sure stroking and banging now. They're probably fucking, right? Then after that, they spend months exploring Africa, from South Africa to Zimbabwe to Botswana, Namibia. Simon's having the time of his life.

He didn't want to stop. He doesn't want to return back to their old lives in Victoria. Doesn't want to get a job. Just wants to keep living in hotel rooms. and tents and seeing the world. I mean, it does sound fun. Aaron, who's now in her mid-30s, wants to settle down and have kids, so she convinces Simon that the party is over.

Did I say Ian earlier? I said Simon for now. Party's over for now. They should move to Perth. It's a big city on the western side of Australia. It's the only big city, Western Australia. That's what they do. And then in early 2009, Aaron gives birth to their first child, a baby boy.

His name is not in sources due to Australia's privacy laws around crimes and minors. His birth, we know, though, traumatic. Aaron had to have an emergency C-section. C-Sycerian, her newborn son ended up being in the neonatal intensive care unit. The old Nick U, fortunately, her son recovered quickly, soon ready to go home. Aaron, however, not ready to go home. Hospital staff wanted to keep her there for longer, but she couldn't bear being separated from her baby. So against medical advice, she signed a discharge form, she walked out of the hospital with her little baby boy,

ignoring nurses and doctors who tried to stop her. And Simon will later testify that she was suffering from what sounds like a pretty bad case at postpartum depression. I wonder if cocaine could help with that. Aaron mentally struggled following her son's birth. She felt isolated, exhausted, completely out of depth. But thankfully, she had Gail, her mother-in-law to lean on.

Simon's mother became her lifeline. Right, during this vulnerable time, and Aaron would call her a bunch. They would talk, ask you to ask her for advice on feeding. you know, which nipple do I use? I don't know what advice she asked for. Sometimes she would ask her to help her interpret certain cries. Gail offered advice would help willingly, generously,

never made Aaron feel like a burden. Interestingly, no mention of Aaron calling her own parents or her sister with questions about her baby. They continue to be estranged, it seems. Doesn't appear there even were on speaking terms. April of 2009, Aaron and Simon had itchy feet again. They decided to hit the road once more. Fuck, it must be nice.

in a four-wheel drive with not much else but a tent. Seems like Simon pushed for that. And they took their baby boy, who was no more than three months old. That's dumb. Drove up the coast to Western Australia. Then drove over to the center of Australia to Alice Springs, which is in the fucking middle of nowhere. Then further across the outback to Queensland.

Queensland. This was a mammoth, incredibly ambitious trip. Over 5,000 kilometers, over 3,000 miles, over fucking billion inches. I don't know how many inches it was. Depending on exactly where they drove in total, they might have driven over 10,000 kilometers, over 6,000 miles. That's a long time to be in a car or a tent with baby.

It's a terrible idea. Why do people do shit like that? You just can't wait a year or so, let the baby get a little bigger, stronger? Aaron and Simon spent several months together stuck in the car for long days with their baby, driving down one remote outback road after another, pulling up at campsites to set up their tent, staying in whatever motel happened to be available. Still not working. They don't need to work.

This all proved too much for the young parents. and Aaron and Simon started to fight and fight. Of course he did. This is a bad idea. In November 2009, six months after they had first left home, Aaron and Simon finally reached Townsville, Queensland. And by that point, Aaron and Simon, they couldn't even fucking stand to be near each other,

let alone be in the same car. And Aaron bounced. She ditched Simon and their young son. She got on a plane, flew back home to Perth. She was like, fuck you, Simon. Fuck you, too, baby. Simon now stuck with a car and a baby. Had no choice but to drive from Queensland to Perth.

It was a one-week journey across the country with an infant in the back seat. 4,500 to 4,900-kilometer drive, roughly 2,800 to 3,000 miles, depending on which route he took. Guessing he probably took the shorter one. Dear God, when he finally arrived in Perth, Simon and Aaron agreed to meet up and make peace after a disastrous trip, which they did, kind of. But the damage was done. Now cracks that it had formed on the trip would just keep growing. Their marriage is on the rocks. They try counseling, but they can't figure it out.

They eventually decide that they can't exist in harmony when they're together, not even for baby boy. So they start living apart and they split custody 50-50. But don't get divorced. Aaron rented a cottage for herself and baby. Simon rented an on-site caravan. You know, he's like an RV close by. This marked the first of many short-term separations. By the end of January 2010, still in Western Australia, Simon and Aaron reunite briefly.

Unlike some couples, when they were apart, living separate lives, They were very amicable. They still really liked each other. Just didn't seem to, you know, do well living together. Aaron tried to distract herself from her marital woes, new mother struggles by keeping her mind busy. She was a lifelong lover of learning. Her inherited windfall, you know,

meant that she could pursue her passions as she saw fit. So she opened a secondhand bookstore called Carrie Books on Brockman Street in the small rural town of Pemberton, three and a half drive along the coast north of Perth. Not a lot around that. and she and Simon will live in that little town for approximately two years. They'll use the bookstore as an excuse to travel

a whole much more, driving all over West and Australia to collect books from libraries and estate sales. Simon even worked for a little while they were there for a local council. Aaron also started taking courses on law and veterinary studies, some course at Murdoch University in Perth, but that didn't go well. She was still depressed.

I do feel so bad for people who get it. Seems like I can last forever. She would sit at the kitchen table with a textbook spread out, baby crying in the next room. She'd just keep reading the same paragraph again and again, not able to absorb a single word, and eventually she would just stop opening the books,

gave up on the course altogether. 2011, Aaron's father, Hugh, died at the age of 65. Sources do not say how he died, or if Aaron bothered to attend her father's funeral, but I'm going to guess he did not. 2012, another rough year. Aaron and Simon tried to have another child, she does get pregnant, but then she has a miscarriage.

Following the miscarriage, she and Simon break up again. By the end of 2012, though they're back together again. In 2013, Simon and Aaron decided to give up on Western Australia, move back to Victoria to be closer to Simon's family. They buy a house together, even though they're fucking constantly back and forth, they buy a house together in Curranborough, and Aaron gets pregnant again. And in 2014, she gives birth to the couple's second and final child, a baby girl. also we don't know her name.

Now, Aaron and Simon try harder than ever to make the relationship work for the sake of two kids. But the very next year in 2015, Aaron and Simon, they break up another fucking time. They reconcile briefly a few times in the coming years, or they will, but not for long ever. For the most part, 2015 is the end of their romantic relationship era. However, just like they had done for years,

they were both willing to put on a united front for the sake of the kids. Aaron's kids were her greatest joy in life Her life now revolved around them And she'll say that they were all she really cared about at this point That's not healthy In my opinion, I don't think it's healthy Whenever I hear about somebody talking about

How their kids are all they really care about Like the focal point of their entire world I don't actually think Oh, that's cool, good for them No, I think that's sad That's get a fucking identity outside of being a parent I mean, yes, take parenting seriously God, yes, provide kids a loving home, yes

Be present, be available to them guide them, nurture them, coach them, mentor them. Yes, but have them be the focal point of your whole existence? That seems problematic. It feels like you're putting a lot of pressure on them. You know, it feels codependent to me.

Why not just show them a healthy example of having your own friends and interests, something they can also aspire to have someday, but why would anyone fucking listen to me? I'm fucking doing a podcast all fucking amped up. Everyone's built different. Aaron and Simon continue going on holidays together, presenting some semblance of a United Family Unit.

despite being more or less permanently separated now, also decided not to go through the headache of a divorce, no fighting over who owned or was entitled to what. They simply listed all their assets down on paper, Aaron's inheritance, loans, property, cash, et cetera, and they split it all up 50-50. But not only would Simon get half of what they had, he also got half of what remained from Aaron's inheritance.

That's generous. I think that's foolishly, overly generous. Clearly, while they struggled to coexist, romantically. They still cared for one another. Over the next five or so years, both even held on to some sliver of hope that they might someday figure out how to properly reconcile. Why do people do this themselves? If you can't figure it out after all that, it's fucking never going to happen. 2019, Aaron's mother, Heather Scudder, passes away from cancer. And now Aaron at the age of 45 gets

another big inheritance. Not sure exactly how much, but her parents owned a Beach House in Eden, New South Wales at multiple sources, say, sold for 900. thousand dollars and that the profits were divided between erin her sister so interesting that they left Aaron in their will despite not really having a relationship with her it fucking drives me crazy not knowing what happened for all i know they did keep in contact but just very privately and we don't get to know about it uh Aaron used her share of the money to buy two properties a mount waverly apartment in Melbourne back in her old neighborhood I guess and a Gibson street home in leangatha just down the road about a 10-minute drive from Kermbara, which became her primary residence.

Leongatha is a sleepy town with less than a million people, like a lot less. It has less than 6,000 people. Located in the foothills of the scenic strislecky ranges, a low mountain range of rolling green pastures and dairy farms dotted with small towns and hamlets. He doesn't like a hamlet. While to non-locals, it may appear geographically isolated. All these little communities are held together by close-knit neighborhood ties. Town's biggest employer is a dairy processing plant on the north side of town based on YouTube walk-through videos. There's a fucking million YouTube walk-through videos.

It's fucking crazy. It's cute as hell. It's a quaint little place where a lot of, you know, little local boutiques and cafes have a lot of TLC, only about 20-minute drive from some of, you know, Australia's southern coasts, popular beaches. The sleepy near-crimeless burg of Leon Gotha was hardly the place anyone expected a mass murder to take place in. Aaron custom built her Leon Gauthah house to be the family home of her dreams, intended

it to be her forever home, the place her kids, someday their kids could all gather and make memories for years and years to come. A large white-paneled house tucked off a dirt road on a semi-rural block at the edge of town. And she built it just 10 minutes, a 10-minute drive from Simon's parents' place in Curram Borough. The Patterson children could pop over to see their grandparents whenever they wanted, basically, to the outside observer of the Patterson's in. Aaron appeared very much like a cohesive family unit, despite Aaron essentially being divorced from Simon. Not legally, but they certainly weren't together, right? Another atypical social arrangement.

Despite this, as if to cement their connection even further, Aaron added Simon's name to both property titles as a gesture of goodwill, both the Mount Waverly apartment in Melbourne and his custom-built family home and Lee and Gotha. And at quick glance, this reads, is Aaron keeping the door open to reconciliation as just being a kind, generous person. And maybe at this point, that's who she was. I feel less high and I'm sad about it. Maybe she just wanted to appear like that to deflect suspicion for what she had planned. Details were later emerged that sure looked like in the coming years. She will take numerous shots of trying to kill Simon. Between November of 2021 and September of 2022,

Simon will be hospitalized three separate times with gastrointestinal distress. Second incident was so serious it resulted in Simon slipping into a coma. Had to have life-saving surgery, medical experts report commission for Aaron. Aaron's later trial will state that Simon's symptoms were consistent with the ingestion of barium carbonate, a key ingredient in rat poison. Seemingly oblivious to these attempts, Simon kept vacationing with Aaron, going on various camping trips, both with and without the kids, but they allegedly were not together romantically.

Aaron is still going to Patterson family gatherings with Don and Gale, still helping with church duties where Aaron, where Ian Wilkinson served as a pastor, both Simon and Aaron seemingly happily, harmoniously, contributing to whatever the kids needed. Aaron remained so close with Matthew Patterson, Simon's brother, that she would watch his kids so that he and his wife, Tanya, could have a break here and there. And then, this is fucking crazy. Aaron loaned Matthew $400,000 to help him and Tanya buy a house.

Holy shit. She didn't even ask for a collateral. Didn't set up a repayment schedule, didn't charge any interest. It was as if money did fucking not matter to her. That's wild. Then the generosity didn't stop there. She became even more of a family, favorite when she also loaned Simon's sister, Anna Marie Terrington, hundreds of thousands of dollars,

exact amount not specified, interest-free as well to help her buy a family home. What are you doing? That's weird. It's not natural to stay that close to your ex's family. And it's so strange that even though Simon and Aaron are not together, not together together, they're still going camping, even without the kids, just the two of them. It reminds me of a friend of mine from college's family situation. I'll keep it a bit vague. Casey hears this. He and his sister's parents fucking hated each other and they separated when he was young. Permanently separated. Would never get back together.

While my friend did not think that his mom dated anybody else, his dad definitely did, but they kept living in the same house, like till death. They did this for decades until he died in his late 70s. He lived on the top floor. She lived on the main floor. I think it was a three-story house, like two stories of the basement. They would have dinner together with their two kids. how fucking uncomfortable is that? And outside of those dinners,

apparently never talked to each other or hung out. And it's not like they couldn't afford a divorce. She worked as a librarian, he worked as a tenured, highly esteemed law professor at a local university. Now he's going to know who this is, if he hears this. His mom was very religious,

apparently did not want to get a divorce, but also hated my friend's dad, but also lived with him several floors the same house. I'm fascinated by situations like that. The way some people just cannot fully move on, choose not to. They seem to needlessly torch themselves.

by staying in this liminal space where they can't return to their old life, but they also won't move on to start a new life. I know Aaron and Simon's situation, not that exactly, but it's similar. You know, take away the rat poison attempts. Still be fucking weird. You want to stay friendly with your former in-laws. Cool.

But why would you loan them all that money? Feels like a good way to build resentment. Why be too generous? During all this, the COVID pandemic comes and goes. I feel like I might have COVID now again. The state of Victoria was subject to one of the world's most restrictive and longest lockdowns, lasting throughout 2020 and into 2021. 2021 was a disaster for a year for many Victorians.

Then in 2022, it will become a catastrophe for Aaron and Simon and mark a massive turning point in their relationship. The trouble all started with a simple tax form entry. Simon made a change in his relationship status. On his 2022 tax return, he ticked separated instead of married, which is fucking true. But Aaron and Simon had apparently both agreed to keep the separation off the books, handle everything privately between them. Makes me think of her old classmates

talking about her being secretive. And one day late 2022, Simon drops his kids off at Aaron's house. You know, comes out of his car. He sees Aaron standing there. Arms crossed, fucking glaring at him. We need to talk, she says. She found out about the tax return. She was livid.

She was apparently especially mad because this was not just about Simon being honest on a forum. This change affected her family's tax benefits, government benefits she was receiving for having kids. fucking, God forbid any of these people work. In a message later shown to the court, Aaron wrote that the change had family tax benefit

and child support implications that could cost her up to about $15,000 a year. And now the once very generous and financially relaxed Aaron, she's done playing nice with Simon and his family. Despite him claiming that his tax preparer had checked the wrong box on accident, following the tax form saga,

the chummy chatty text between Aaron and Simon, who I guess mostly communicated via the encrypted messaging app signal completely stopped, Why the fuck were they talking on Signal to each other? Were they sharing military secrets? Why don't they just text? That's weird.

There's a lot regarding the true nature of their relationship that we still don't know about. Aaron's text became curt, clinical, cursory. I like that word cursory. No more friendly chit-chat, just matter-of-fact updates about logistics, drop-off times, medical appointments. But she couldn't shut him out completely, after all. She still relied on him to chip in for things for the kids, things like doctor's appointments and school fees. Eventually, Aaron and Simon both agreed that Aaron, given that she was the kid's primary caregiver, should apply for child support. And their kids, by the way, are now 13 and 8 on November 18th, 2022.

Aaron applies for child support. She will quickly come to regret this. The child support agency reviewed her and Simon's financial records, read the calculations, and do you want to guess how much they ruled that Simon owed? Guess how much he had to legally pay per month to have to have. you know help raise his kids $40 seriously what the fuck

$40 a month for two kids 20 bucks a kid clearly he wasn't out there working right sounds like he was still living off money he had gotten from errands inheritance and so he couldn't contribute much I guess

Simon had previously been paying his kid's school fees but after that ruling he just stopped because he was only legally required to pay 40 bucks a month and now that's all he was gonna pay and he sounds like a fucking bum maybe he wasn't

I don't know him I might be missing something but I don't like that. Sounds like a leech. Would you be comfortable after living for years primarily off of your wife's inheritance and then when estranged,

would you still be comfortable with that? It shouldn't bother me maybe, but it does. And then after being financially carried for years and gallivant and all around Australia and Africa, back around Australia, going on what feels like more vacations in a year than a lot of people taking their lives, you're going to suddenly refuse to pay more than $40 a month

to help raise your kids. Despite the woman you're barely paying anything to now, she just bought your sister and one of your brother's houses. after carrying you financially for most of your adult life. It feels like Simon and his family may have taken advantage of Aaron's generosity. I mean, maybe she was the one pushing for it. Maybe she was one offering help all the time.

But it feels like him and his siblings took advantage of it. At this time, Aaron and Simon's kids are attending private school. And private school fees for primary school in regional Australia, often start around 8,000 a year. That number can climb with each grade level. Some schools that can reach up to 23,000 a year. So 40 fucking bucks a month, not helping. How did the court make that determination?

Now, Aaron starts pushing Simon to pay more. Like, come on, dude. Right? Who cares what the child support people ruled? When have we ever followed the system? And now Simon, when asked to pony up, he essentially throws up his hands. He's like, well, I'm just following government orders. You know, $40 is fair, so that's what's going to be.

But also, as you'll see, when I cover their trial, it seems as if Aaron had tried to kill Simon three separate times. Before he took this hard $40 stance, so maybe it wasn't just about the money. For now, Aaron is feeling a new kind of stress. for years for most of her adult life, right? She'd had an inheritance to cushion things. Allowed her to study whenever she wanted. She could take flexible part-time jobs, mostly for fun, like a quasi-vanity role as an editor of a community newsletter,

the Burr a flyer in Kernberg for a while. Moshe should be able to focus on being a mom and a homemaker, but, you know, she'd been too generous with her money, especially with how much she gave Simon's siblings, now that inheritance wasn't going to last forever, and she had no more relatives to die to give her more money. Maybe your sister, by doubt she'd have done. give her money. So Aaron now began to resent Simon for getting off easy, for having little

responsibility in her mind. And the resentment, attention, it deepens, it deepens. And eventually Aaron is at her wits end. She's openly furious with Simon, who from her perspective is riding a wave of bare minimum fatherhood responsibilities, especially again, after all the money she'd given him. You know, after working so hard to keep things silly, fucked her. Simon was a devoted caring father when he was with the kids, but that wasn't enough for Aaron. And she also knew getting him to do what she wanted was a lost cause, so she goes to his parents. She begs Don and Gail, please step in, talk to your son, knock some sense into him, get him to do what's right for the sake of the grandkids.

And this makes them uncomfortable. Don and Gail, they don't want to be involved in their son and daughter-in-law's marital squabbles. And they gently told Aaron that there were only two things they were willing to do. They could pray or they could pay. They told her, we'll keep you in our prayers. And if money does ever become an issue, you know, talk to us and we'll help you. And that does sound pretty reasonable. they hadn't lived off of Aaron's money, their son had.

Actually, three of their four children had possibly taken advantage of her financially. But not them. Aaron was not happy about that response. For her, this was not just about the money. It was about the principal. She didn't want their charity. She wanted their son to step in line,

do what she felt was blatantly right. With her in-laws out of the picture, Aaron Patterson turned to her friends for support, kind of. She turned to people, she considered her friends, but she never actually met these people, not in real life. they were online friends and they were about to get a front row seat

to the Patterson family drama and you'll hear about all that right after today's second and two mid-show sponsor breaks. Thanks for listening to those sponsors. Hope you heard some deals that you liked. Now let's hear about Aaron's circle of online friends. Aaron had become an avid true crime junkie over the past few years.

And she'd been spending hours, swapping theories and pouring over evidence in a Facebook group focused on the crimes of Kelly Lane, an Australian water polo player found guilty of killing her two-day-old daughter in 1996. In 2018, Kelly from behind bars became the subject of a major podcast after writing to a journalist claiming to have been wrongly convicted and begging her to investigate. And like many true crime cases, a whole online community of armchair detectives arose around it.

Aaron was right in the thick of that community. According to one of her online friends, Christine Hunt, Aaron was renowned among her peers for her nimble researching and tech skills. Christine described Aaron as a bit of a super sleuth and as someone highly regarded in the Facebook group. I need a little bit of this music to pump me up. And for them Lonelly lost in the dark. Okay. From within this larger Facebook group,

Aaron grew closer to a handful of members. And for them, a shared crime obsession developed into a virtual friendship. Aaron and our online friends began talking not just about true about true crime, but about their own personal lives as well.

Now I can't help but wonder. I can't help but wonder about all the time suck-related Facebook groups are out there. I hope I don't ever have to do an episode about a long time cold to the curious member who's now a murderer. Aaron would often send photos of her kids to her new friends. They were all she cared about. She'd tell them. And then soon she was sharing information about something else, the great Patterson family feud. Here are some of the direct messages. Aaron sent via Facebook messenger to her online friends. I mean, clearly the fact that Simon refuses to talk about personal issues in part stems from the behavior of his parents and how they handle things with him growing up.

that's his learnt behavior. This family, I swear to fucking God, they're a lost cause. I'm sick of this shit. I want nothing to do with them. I thought his parents would want him to do the right thing, but it seems they're concerned about not wanting to feel uncomfortable and not wanting to get involved in their son's personal matters

are overriding that. So, fuck him. So it doesn't sound like she's getting too, get along too well with them right now. Aaron accused Simon a gaslightner. She accused Don and Gale of using, quote, weasel words. She called Simon a deadbeat

Wonder why Gail was not horrified By his stance regarding child support I'm not gonna lie I'm a big fan of weasel words I might steal that I'm gonna use that Maybe I'll use it on Lindsay Just to rile her up

I'm like bullshit What are you fucking talking about Not with your weasel words lady If I hear one more weasel word Come out of your wiesly mouth I'll scream She probably heard that She's the next room

No more weasel words I don't know if she knows I'm talking to her When she was not ran in a raving and rave Aaron and her online friends would also swap recipes, mostly from Recipe 10 Eats, a popular Australian cookbook. They get excited about new kitchen appliances as well, sharing what they'd have been experimenting with. And in the spirit of sharing this kind of info,

Aaron let her friends in on one of her little parenting secrets. She'd been sneaking dehydrated mushrooms into everything she cooked, almost. Sneaking a bunch of good micronutrients into the kids' meals without telling them, I actually drink a protein smoothie made with a powdered mushroom blend almost every morning, it's great. I like this. I've been hiding powdered mushrooms and everything. Mixed it into chocolate brownies yesterday. Kids had no idea, she wrote.

To which one of her online friends responded, so fun, so fun fact. That's what she wrote. The dehydrator reduces mushroom mass by 90%. Do you think willies would mind if I put the dehydrator into their vegetable section and dry things before I buy them? Okay.

This is how the mushroom murders began with, you know, not just harmless talk about mushrooms, but about people doing good things with mushrooms. On April 18, 18, 2023, a woman unbeknownst to Aaron Patterson called Christine McKenzie, a woman whose name will come up at Aaron's trial later, was visiting, she was visiting her daughter, this Christine lady, in Locke, a small town, about a 25-minute drive northwest from where Aaron Patterson lived. During her visit, Christine took a walk around the local oval with her grandson and dog when she spotted something that frightened her growing under some oak trees. It was a monster, no is

mushrooms. She knew exactly what they were the moment she laid eyes on them. She spent years working as a poison specialist. She walked closer, wrapped her hand in the doggy plastic bag, pulled two mushrooms carefully out of the ground, took a photo of them. Christine then removed as many others as she could find, because this area was popular with dog walkers.

Almost said dog workers. It's popular with dog workers. There was a lot of working class dogs. A lot of dogs fucking live in rough lives, paycheck to paycheck. No, it was popular with dog walkers and children from a local kindergarten regularly visited. These mushrooms she found, death cap mushrooms were lethal, making them extra dangerous. Foraging mushrooms was a common pastime in that area, a part of rural Victoria,

and to the untrained eye, death caps, right? As I said earlier, it could pass for regular ass wild mushrooms that don't kill you. Later that day, Christine posted the photos on Eye Naturalist, an app that allows users to take photos of plants, fungi, animals, any piece of nature. The photos are uploaded. Identified using a combination of crowdsourcing and artificial intelligence. help scientists understand the ecology of different species. Eye naturalists has played a key role in the discovery of new species as well as sidings of species that have previously not been seen for decades. Later in court, Aaron will deny ever coming across Christine's photos of these death caps, but many will not believe her because of evidence I will share later. Jumping forward a couple months now to July of 2023.

It's a cold, chilly month in regional Victoria. And in 2023, it was when Aaron Patterson had a big favor to ask of her in a little bit. laws, Don and Gail, her estranged husband, Simon, and Simon's aunt and uncle, Pastor Ian Wilkinson and his wife, Heather. Heather was Gail's younger sister. She was an educator who post-retirement had continued to tutor migrants in English. Aaron reached out to them, invited them to her home to discuss some important medical news. She said it was important that the kids were not present. This was an adult-only conversation. They all locked in the date of July 29th on their calendars. Days before they arrived, Aaron began flipping through her cookbooks. She often cooked for Donning

Gail, a go-to meal for her quasi-in-laws is Shepard's Pie. It was the perfect weather for that. But this lunch, she's going to make something more special. She wanted to drop the ante. So she recalled from her childhood a dish her mother used to make something a little fancier, more complex on the culinary spectrum, crack cocaine. She wanted to smoke crack. No, she did something she could easily hide in a bunch of mushrooms.

A bunch of mushrooms in. Beef Wellington is what she made. Beef Wellington is a classic English dish that I've never had. It's a beef tenderloin. coated in paté, Duke Cell. I don't even know what that shit is. I'll be honest. A finely chopped mushroom mixture.

Maybe that's what it is. Wrapped in prosciutto or ham. Then encased in a puff pastry, baked until golden brown. Then traditionally served in slices, drizzled with a classic red wine sauce. Sounds pretty delicious. Aaron had found a good recipe for it

in a recipe tin eats. All right, I think I mentioned that. Her favorite cookbook. She went to Woolworth's grocery store to buy most ingredients, which, as mentioned, included mushrooms. Then she went to the butcher to buy the meat, be called for one big-ass log of beef tenderloin, but that wasn't going to work for Aaron.

According to her later testimony, she changed the recipe to individual packet portions because she said she couldn't find filets big enough. She wanted the fucking most meat anyone who ever eaten in their whole lives. All she found were twin packs of eye filets. Filets? No, it's got to be filets. So she adjusted the recipe to make individual beef Wellington parcels. Then on the evening of July 28, 2023, the evening before the big meal, Aaron received a text

message that made her blood boil. It goes from Simon, and his text read, sorry, I feel too uncomfortable about coming to the lunch with you, mom, dad, Heather, and Ian tomorrow, but I'm happy to talk to you about your health and implications of that at another time. If you would like to discuss on the phone, just let me know. Aaron quickly responded, how fuck am I going to poison you if you want to eat my food, you fucking shit fuck? You could take these weasel words and shove them up your cunt. No, she wasn't that aggressive. She wrote, that wasn't her style. She wrote, that's really disappointing. I've spent many hours this week preparing lunch for tomorrow, which has been exhausting in light of the issues I'm facing and spent a small fortune on beef eye filet to make beef

wellingtons because I wanted it to be a special meal as I may not be able to host a lunch like this again for some time. It's important to me that you're all there tomorrow and then I can have the conversations that I need to have. I hope you'll change your mind. Your parents and Heather and Ian are coming at 1230. I hope to see you there. And before moving forward, remember that she very likely tried to kill him three times with poisoned food before. So he had good reason to be wary of this lunch. The following Faithful Day, July 29th was a mild winter day. Erin Patterson woke up early to begin her lunch preparations. The following is all according to her account. She said she followed the recipe book, step by step, outside of a few thoughtful alterations like skipping the prosciutto

as her father-in-law Don did not eat pork. Then she got started on the mushroom paste, chopping the store-bought button mushrooms as finely as possible, adding them to the processor, creating a coarse breadcrumb like texture. When she tasted the mixture, she felt it was too bland. So she grabbed some dried mushrooms. She'd been stored in a Tupper container in the pantry, rehydrated them, finally chopped them, added them to the paste. Mushrooms have been sitting there for months, Erin said. She said she had bought them some time ago from an Asian grocery, whipped them out when she wanted to jazz up a dish. Dried mushrooms were more concentrated than fresh ones. And with that came an earthier, nuttier, richer flavor, I guess. Aaron then added garlic and shallots to the

paste. I've never fucking made anything this fancy my entire life and simmered the mixture on low for 45 minutes. Finally, she coated the beef and paste, wrapped up each parcel in pastry, and popped in the oven. Meanwhile, also that morning, Aaron dropped her nine-year-old daughter, 14-year-old son and his friend off at the Leon Gotha McDonald's, so they're not getting a fancy lunch. Aaron had arranged for them to spend the afternoon at the local cinema. Under no circumstances, she had told relatives could her children be present at the lunch? Back home, the smell of pastry and roasting beef filled Aaron's kids. kitchen and she made her final preparations checking and rechecking each part of the meal while she waited for her guest to arrive.

She refreshed her signal app. Why is she using Signal? See if Simon had changed his mind. He hadn't. It was just past midday when Ian Heather Don and Gale packed into a single car and drove down the straight road from Curranborough and Lian Gotha to the rolling hills of the Gippsland region. Their journey was a short one, only 13 minutes long, but a beautiful drive under an open blue sky. They drove past eucalyptus trees and other greenery. Ian and Heather were feeling good, appreciative of their invitation. They had been pleasantly surprised to get it. They didn't know Aaron that well. They had invited to her wedding.

You know, they saw her kids at church. Saw her church, you know, many times. Family functions. But, you know, they considered her less of a friend and more of an acquaintance. Aaron was mashing potatoes when the four people arrived. She led them to the house through the modern, open plan layout around the kitchen. Heather wanted to go off route She wanted to check out Aaron's pantry

Said she has been obsessed with pantries lately The Wilkins didn't have just built one themselves She wanted to see how Aaron had organized hers And Aaron stiffened curiously like she was hiding some shit Like she was hiding poison in there According to Ian Wilkins' later testimony She was extremely reluctant to let her lunch guests peek inside Ian thought at the time it was probably just a mess in there

And she was embarrassed So after allowing no one to inspect the pantry Aaron's house tour continued She let her guest through around freshly landscaped garden once back inside, headed back into the kitchen to finish off the lunch. There was mashed potatoes on the stove, green beans steaming on the stove, beef wellingtons, moments away from me ready to come out of the oven. Heather and Gail did the whole, oh, how can we help dance? But Aaron was like, now get out of here. I got it.

Then she served lunch. Group bowed their head. Somebody said Grace. And then they picked up their forks. And it was a delicious meal. Everybody was impressed. Ian and Heather both cleaned their plates. Gail ate half of hers while Don not only ate his whole serving

also polished off what his wife couldn't finish. It was delicious. After lunch, they picked it a fruit platter, nibbled at some orange poppy seed cake. Then the conversation took a serious turn. From here on, we're relying on the account of Ian Wilkinson, a sole survivor of this meal outside of Aaron. Simon Patterson's testimony also, based on what his parents told him before they died, and some medical staff testimony. After they'd eaten, Aaron made her big announcement.

She told him that something she had wanted to discuss with them was the C word. She had recently been diagnosed with being a vengeful, murderous cunt. No, that was me. I toss not a wheezo word. Cancer. But it does crack me up to think that a doctor could diagnose somebody's being a cunt. She said she had a diagnostic test. There was a spot on the scan that it looked like a tumor.

She told her lunch guest she was very concerned because she believed it was very serious, quite possibly life-threatening. She was anxious about telling the kids wanted to discuss. with her family, best course of action for helping them understand what was happening. However, before Aaron and her guests could get into the nitty-gritty of this diagnosis, somebody burst through the front door.

Aaron's son and his friend have come home early from the movies. Her son ran upstairs to get a textbook. He was learning about flight. He was really into like rockets, like those kind of toy rockets that you can light and they do fly up in the air. I wanted to show his grandpa, Don,

what he was learning, because Don loved rocket-propelled gadgets and shared this passion with his grandson. The two of them bonded over backyard, science experiments. It's around 3 p.m. When Don Gail, Heather and Ian say their goodbyes, pile back into the same car they arrived in,

driving off to the rural countryside, back to Kurumbara. Aaron tidies up, but the day continues normally for all the lunch guests, feeling healthy, well-fed, happy to have spent some quality time together over a delicious meal.

But then later that night, around midnight, Heather jolts out of her bed, rushes to the laundry where she starts violently vomiting. I'm guessing by laundry, there's also a toilet there. Or she just thrown up in the washing,

machine. Vomiting uncontrollably. Moments later, comes down with a terrible case of diarrhea as well. Moments later, Ian joins her in the laundry. There's got to be toilet at that place. He now is also violently ill. A couple spend the rest of the night doubled over the toilet bowl. There we go in agony. Meanwhile, across town, unbeknownst to Heather and Ian, Don and Gale have also come down with a bout of intestinal troubles that lasted all through the night. By morning, their condition still has not improved, so they call an ambulance. They're whisked away to Kiranborough Hospital. Also called their son Simon and their other kids too, just to let them know. Simon immediately where he drives over to his aunt and uncle's house, check on them, finds Heather in the lounge, sitting next to a, quote,

spew bucket, offers to drive them to the hospital as well. And when they resist, or they resist, they tell them that the hospital's not necessary, but he's like, no, you have to go. You're not good. So now Ian and Heather gather up their things, and as they're preparing to leave, Heather makes a comment that Simon will replay over and over again in his mind. She said, quote, I noticed Aaron served herself food on a plate different to the plate she served them. Simon initially brushes off her comment, drives him to Curramboro Hospital, a small country hospital. The beds are full.

Don and Gale already are there. The hospital staff tells Simon to take Ian and Heather to another nearby larger hospital in Lian Gatha, and he does. Back in the car, Heather can't stop thinking about the different plates. As they drive from one hospital the next, brings it up again. She says, Simon, is Aaron short of crockery?

Simon says, I don't know, maybe. Aaron doesn't have that many plates. Maybe that's the reason for the mismatched table placing. Internally, I bet he was freaking out, right? He was worried that she may have poisoned them based on details that will come out from Aaron's trial. He was convinced by this point that she had already tried to poison him.

At 11 a.m., they arrive at Leighatha Hospital. Heather and Ian wait together in a room, used to isolate patients, or they're met by Dr. Chris Webster, the on-call doctor on shift. At this point, Ian and Heather are both conscious and alert. they're clearly unwell and they continue to vomit,

but they don't seem to be fighting for their lives. Dr. Webster evaluates them, makes an early call that they're very likely dealing with a run-of-the-mill case of food poisoning. He questions them about all the food they consumed in the past 48 hours. When they tell them about the beef Wellington, he's like, fucking what?

Beef Wellington kills 90% of the people who eat it. No, he has follow-up questions. What was it served in? What did it taste like? Who cooked it? Meat, he said, is the most common source of food poisoning. And he seemed to think the meal was the source of their misery.

Dr. Webster then took blood samples and sends them off for analysis. Now I'm thinking of the Emmanuel Lewis, the actor who played Webster. I'm thinking that's their doctor. Back at Curram Borough Hospital, Don and Gale are given anti-naja drugs, hooked up to IV drips

while medical staff run blood tests. According to Simon, his dad, Don, quote, was really struggling. He was lying on his side, hunched quite notably, noticeably. His face was badly discolored. By 3 p.m. Sunday, the Patterson's blood test come back.

The results are extremely abnormal, the situation escalates, and Don and Gail Patterson are immediately transferred to Dandenong Hospital in Melbourne, much bigger facility with more specialists and equipment that the country hospital won't have. By 8 p.m. that night, Don had already vomited or discharged his bowels around 40 times. Oh my God. Specialist race to try and figure out why they're so sick. Next morning, the morning of July 31st, 6.30 a.m. Dr. Webster, Emmanuel Lewis, or whoever his name a man somebody, receives a phone call from a nurse updating him on how Ian and Heather had fared overnight. Not well.

They still have not stopped vomiting. They still have nonstop diarrhea. However, their vital signs, heart rate, temperature, and blood pressure are all pretty stable. Intervenous fluid is being provided without complications. There were signs that they were responding well to initial treatment. But Dr. Well, Webster tells the nurse, continue with the same care, keep him hydrated, keep him comfortable, keep me posted. Dr. Webster then heads back into work, where he receives a call from Dr. Beth Morgan. who's looking at for Don and Gale.

She's concerned now, this is not your typical food poison, or stomach flu situation. She said tests revealed that both Don and Gale had grossly abnormal liver function. And her take, this could be a rare case of death cap mushroom poison. She figured it out quick. And those words hit Dr. Webster like a freight train. If that was the case, his patients were on the precipice of an irreversible slide towards death. Everyone who ate lunch was now in serious danger, and there was one lunch guest still unaccounted for. where is Aaron Patterson?

Right as he's wondering that, at 8 a.m. Aaron shows up at Leongotha Hospital. She claims she's also suffering from intestinal distress. As soon as she enters a sliding hospital glass door, she loudly proclaims to a nurse, as one does, in these situations, I need to go to the toilet. I have bad diarrhea. And she runs the bathroom.

No one does that. Hello, everyone. My name is Aaron Patterson. I am also dealing with a lot of shit. So much. It's knocking on my back door right now. Oh, these pants, they're getting pooped on. If I can't make it to the toilet in time,

it's almost like someone, not me, put poison in my food. She emerges from the bathroom. Dr. Chris Webster greets her. We've been expecting you, he says. And then she projectile vomits directly into his mouth. And he has never been turned on like this. And they immediately start fucking. Maybe that last stuff didn't happen.

More weasel words. Dr. Webster is extremely concerned about Aaron's health and well-being. If it's a death cap, she will no doubt become critically unwell too. He looks her right in the eye and says, bitch, you're going to die. So live what little life you have left to the fullest. And now they fuck. No.

He just tells her that they need to act past. Symptoms from death cap mushroom poisoning can take six to 24 hours to appear. Then once they appear, symptoms may improve or go away for one to two days, given a false impression of recovery, but then the symptoms come roaring back and remain until death. Without medical intervention, over half of those who eat as little as a half cup of death cap mushroom will die. Time is of the essence.

Dr. Webster, Manuel Lewis, asked Aaron about where the mushrooms were obtained. And Aaron responds, quote, from the tippity-tip of your hard and handsome dick, and now they fuck. No, they don't ever fuck that I'm aware of. Aaron responded to one word, Woolworths, a major and reputable supermarket chain,

the kind that sources produce from commercial suppliers, a kind of place where death-cap mushrooms should never, ever end up. After a five-minute chat, Dr. Webster, I wish I would never thought of Emmanuel Lowe's, was juggling, was juggling, critically unwell patients at this point, and he had to go attend to some of them.

And a short time later, a colleague of his comes running over and tells him that Aaron Patterson has left the hospital. She's discharged herself against medical advice despite multiple warnings that her life is in grave danger. Aaron has more important things to attend to, since she's actually not dying, and it's just faking being sick, right? No one actually saw her vomit or have diarrhea. You only heard her say she did, watched her going to a private bathroom. She does have animals and children at home, though, children at home with after-school activities. She tells the nurses, she's got to go home, she got to let the dogs in. Got to put the lambs in, get away from the foxes.

That's one thing she said. Pack her daughter's bag for ballet. And then she promised she'll come straight back and try not to die. She did not seem to be worried about her health at all, which is fucking crazy in this situation. Crazy if she doesn't know exactly what has gone on. The nurses who watched her leave the hospital, they don't have time to argue with her. They're busy coordinating an emergency transfer for Ian and Heather to Dandenon.

hospital. After hearing that Aaron had left, Dr. Webster could not shake a gut feeling. What was up with her? He wondered. Who hears that they have ingested death cap mushrooms? Need treatment immediately to hopefully save their life. And they're like, yeah, but the dog. Who will let the dog in? Dr. Webster, with enough panic for the both of them, tries to call her once, twice, three times, leaves urgent voicemails after each ring dies out. He is sorry for bothering her, he says, but if she doesn't come back to the hospital immediately, he will contact the police and have them bring her. And he's not kidding.

When she doesn't return his call, he calls the police. But then at 9.48 a.m., Aaron returns to Leon Gotha Hospital on her own, ahead of the police showing up. Dr. Webster is now frantically busy, attending to his other patients. So Dr. Veronica Foote steps in, sits down with Aaron, explains the situation to her again. She is told that if this is death cap poisoning, as they are thinking it is,

the prognosis could include liver failure with life-altering, potentially life-ending consequences. the sooner we can administer treatment, she tells her the better chance of your survival. So now Aaron lets Dr. Foot run some preliminary tests. And the doctor finds that her blood pressure and heart rate are, quote, on the high side. Well, yeah, she's fucking anxious as shit, I'm sure.

According to Dr. Foot, the elevated heart rate and hypertension, aka high blood pressure, are consistent with symptoms of poisoning. And she writes down that Aaron appears to have a gastro-type illness. But again, she did not see Aaron vomit or experienced diarrhea. Aaron just told her that she's been sick. And not everybody agreed with Dr. Foote's assessment.

In fact, some doctors didn't think Aaron appeared unwell in the slightest. Still, plainest safe, which of course is the right play, Dr. Foote told Aaron that she needed to be given a round of IV fluids, antibiotics, an N-acetyl cysteine, a liver treatment. I could save her life. And hearing all that, Aaron appears remarkably calm. She patiently asked about the treatment, how long is going to take, whether it's absolutely necessary.

She calmly waits for the test to be prepared, but then some medical staff come back with bad news. There's been a change of plans. It appears that the hospital has run out of N. Acetyl-acetyl cystine. So Aaron will have to wait while the nurses check the rest of the stock. Maybe they'll find more. Maybe they'll have to order from another hospital. Maybe Aaron will have to be transferred to another facility,

and Aaron doesn't seem alarmed at all by this. Then when Dr. Webster finally makes it back to talk to Aaron again, he has more questions. Mostly just one question. Who else ate the beef Wellington? Aaron responds that her kids ate some of the meat from the leftovers. but they don't like mushrooms, so she'd scraped off the mushrooms.

Webster fucking panics. He practically shouts, Aaron, where are your children now? At school, she calmly replies. And Dr. Webster tells her, well, we need to get those children to a hospital right away. And Aaron, not into that idea.

She has just been told that her kids had very likely been poisoned with death cap mushrooms, almost certainly fatally, unless they are brought in for immediate treatment. Remember, does not take much to kill somebody, and she's like, nah, that'll probably be fine.

I wouldn't worry about it. it. Way too fucking chill. For the situation, Aaron Patterson tells Dr. Webster that she doesn't want to unnecessarily scare her kids and pull them out of school. Dr. Webster says, well, Aaron, they can be scared and alive or dead. Shortly after that conversation, Dr. Webster receives a phone call from the police. They'd arrived at Aaron's Leon Gotha home. Dr. Webster told them that Aaron was back at the hospital. Then he asked the officers to collect any leftovers from the Beef Wellington to test. If there were samples, they could test them, confirm what they already suspected, that death-cap mushrooms had poisoned Ian and Heather Wilkinson and Don and Gail Patterson also tells the cops

that there could be children in danger. Aaron now cooperates tells the officers where the leftovers have been thrown out. Soon after this, nurse Cindy Monroe approaches Aaron with a cannula, this metal tube, ready to insert it into her arm, and begin treatment for suspected mushroom poisoning. Aaron surprises her by pulling her arm back. She says, I don't want any of this. And then she gives a vague excuse about being anti-medical intervention. She's never fucking talked about that before in her life. She clearly did not anticipate hospital staff figuring out what she had done. She's panicking. Meanwhile, her pastor Ian had gotten so sick he can barely lift his head off the pillow. His wife, Heather, unsteady on her feet, can barely walk. Here's Aaron sitting up in bed,

looking perfectly healthy, seemingly not caring that her kids might have been poisoned, rejecting potentially life-saving medical treatment for reasons that make no sense. And now Dr. Chris Webster starts to get very suspicious about Aaron, the woman who cooked a meal. that it poised nobody else. She knows how serious, right, all this stuff is, and doesn't seem to care at all. By August 1st, three days after the fateful meal, the decision had been made to transfer Aaron Patterson

to Monash Medical Center anyway for more advanced care in case she suddenly takes a turn for the worse. A precautionary 24 hours in hospital, just to be safe. In the ambulance, Aaron calm and chatty. Meanwhile, her father-in-law dawn, now in an induced coma, with a life support ventilation tube down his throat, being pumped full of all sorts of meds. Aaron texts friends and family an update on her condition.

She's feeling nauseous, dizzy and tired. What is she? And now, Tanya Patterson, wife of Simon's brother, Matthew, pays her a visit. This is the couple that Aaron loaned $400,000 to. Don't buy a house. Simon is closed by as well at Austin Hospital, where all four of Aaron's lunch guests have been transferred, ventilated, placed on life support.

Despite escalating medical treatment, the conditions of Ian, Gale, and Heather have deteriorated massively. Their bodies are steadily shutting down piece by piece. That morning, Tani was in the hospital room with Aaron when a toxicologist came in to present her with her blood test results. He told her that she was fine and well enough to go home that all her vital signs were within normal limits and that her tests in clinical evaluation

curiously showed no evidence of mushroom-related liver toxicity. Aaron then asked the toxicologist about her potassium levels. They're fine, the toxicologist responded. For someone who supposedly had diarrhea, they were not even close to as low as they should have been. It was almost like she never had it at all. That weasel wordy fuck. At 1 p.m., Aaron is discharged from Monash Medical Center.

Then after 24 hours of observation, she is finally free, but someone from the Department of Health was now waiting to interview her about the lunch. They were worried about the possibility of more poisonous mushrooms floating around in the supply chain. A public health worker Sally Ann Atkinson pressed Aaron to give her details about the mushrooms she had cooked with. And now Aaron said that Aaron said that, uh, oh my gosh sorry i took all my glasses because i want to take out my shirt she said she said that she bought some dried mushrooms from an asian grocer in melbourne's southeast suburbs and bought others freshly sliced from woolworths she had not mentioned the Asian grocer to

dr webster uh when he had spoken with her so that's weird meanwhile monash city council officer troy shonect is given an important job go find the Asian grocer that sold the death caps immediately before they sell any more leave no one alive fucking kill everybody who runs that grocery store. He wasn't told that part. Troy spends the next few days thoroughly investigating more than a dozen groceries across the suburbs of Oakley, Clayton, and Mount Waverly. He searched more than a dozen Asian grocery stores across southeast Melbourne, looking for a clear, unbranded bag of dried or sliced mushrooms. It appeared to be repackaged. Looking like Shataki or porcini mushrooms and about 100 grams in size.

That's how Aaron described him. But store after store, but store keeps coming up empty until he reaches a place called golden grocery in Oakley. There he finds repackaged mushrooms from a bulk three kilogram bag. But according to Aaron, the packaging is quote, incorrect. Oh, no, sorry, the packaging is correct.

But the store didn't look the same, and the mushroom were half the size of what she bought. Each store would confirm that it hadn't recently changed suppliers or sold mushrooms, acquired from a non-commercial source locally. So Aaron's story, not adding up. Looking more and more like she's lying. Next morning, the morning of August 2,

2023, Aaron Patterson, arrived at the Coonwara transfer station, like a dump. Excuse me, big dumpster. We know this thanks to CCTV footage. Later played her to trial. Shows her pull in a black, bulky item for the trunk of her cherry red MGSUB.

Dumping it into a waste bin. Koon Wara, little town less than eight miles from Aaron's house. She told no one that she was heading there to throw things away. Wasn't normal for her to throw shit away there. More on that in just a bit. Two days later, August 4th,

2023, tragedy strikes. Heather Wilkinson passes away at 2.50 a.m. Her husband, this is so sad. Her husband, Ian, was close by when she died, but not present. He was fighting for his life in a medically induced coma, unable to say goodbye to his wife of 44 years, who had raised their four children.

Later that evening at 5.55 p.m., her beloved sister, Gail Patterson, Aaron's mother-in-law, also dies. It feels really weird in my brain right now. Even when I'm talking about sad things, none of my thoughts are sad. It's like they can't be sad right now. both of them had suffered terribly, these poor people.

Death by poisonous mushrooms, an incredibly brutal, painful way to go. They're in agony. Ian Wilkinson and Don Patterson remained in the hospital in critical condition, still fighting, still barely clinging to life. Earlier in the day, investigators received a tip that led them to that Coon-Wara transfer station, I just mentioned. Police arrived, searched through the waist bin thoroughly, and there, buried amongst discarded batteries and broken laptops. They find a black sunbeam food lab dehydrator. Aaron Patterson's sonbeeb Sonbeeb

It was Aaron Patterson's Dehydrateer At 1130 p.m. the next day August 5th Simon, Anna and Matthew And Nathan, that's the fucking other person That's the other kid And Nathan Patterson They all became orphans

Their father, Don, a retired school teacher grandfather, rocket, gadget enthusiast devoted to husband of 50 years Now died as well One week ago he's eating lunch In his daughter-in-law's house polishing off his wife left over Now he's gone

So's his wife, so is her sister Ian's still alive Earlier that day, a search warrant is executed at Aaron's Lee and got the house. Police seize a bunch of household items, including what they believed was Aaron's only phone. And then at 4 p.m., Aaron is taken to the Wanthaggy police station to be interviewed as a suspect for the first time, even if that's not what was exactly communicated to her. A senior constable, Stephen Eppingsall, and two detectives sit across from her in a small interview room. They thank her for her helpfulness, cooperation with the investigation,

in defining the source of the death cap mushroom so far. Now they've got a few more questions for. Regarding the mushrooms, they ask if she'd ever gone foraging for them. Aaron responds calmly. This is important. She tells him, no, never. That's what she said. No, never.

Weasel words. Have you ever dehydrated food, they ask? Never, Aaron says, more weasel words. There's a long pause before the detectives move on to their next question. They want to know about her estranged husband, Simon. Why did she invite his family over for lunch? and she tells investigators that she has no other family, that she loves Simon's family, a whole bunch, they become her family.

They've been nothing but good to her over the years, decent people who had never done anything wrong to her. Then she tells the investigators that, remember that one message though online, she wrote, fuck them. And she tells investigators that she suspects that Simon hated that she still had a relationship with his parents. Detective then informed Aaron that they'd obtained warrants for her medical records and that items had been seized from her house,

including an instruction manual for a sunbeam food lab dehydrate. her. Uh-oh. The thing they found in the dumpster. And she just told him that she fucking never dehydrated food. Why would she have that manual? She has to be panicking inside. Again, they ask, have you ever used a dehydrator?

Do you own one? She says, no, that she did not currently own a dehydrator. Her story's already changing. When did she last own one? They asked. She tells him a year ago. Oh, did I say I never did that? I meant never in one year.

I'm sorry. Now the interview wraps, but they have only just begun to investigate her. Obviously, she looks more guilty now. Investigators sit down to analyze the phone. Aaron had handed over. They find nothing, and that is suspicious because they truly found nothing on it. It had recently been wiped clean and factory reset not once but multiple times. That's fucking suspicious.

When asked why that would be, Aaron said that the phone had been hers and actually technically so was, but she'd given it to her son to use. And he did the first factory reset, but had only used the phone until May 10th. Why were a couple more unexplained factory resets happening after that? Oh, I don't know. And why would your son do a factor reset on your phone? This is stupid. It's a dumb cover story.

Why didn't she just fucking throw her phone away? I guess she just didn't think that, you know, she'd be investigated. Two days later, August 7th, Aaron Patterson officially named a suspect. The Victorian Health Department has just confirmed that death cap mushrooms were indeed involved in the fatalities. And the media descend on Lian Gotha, like a storm. Like a plague of fucking locusts. When Aaron Patterson is recorded standing outside her home speaking to report, She's hysterical.

And this is interesting because she displayed roughly zero emotion in all the previous interactions with medical personnel and law enforcement. To many, this will appear like it's all for show

or that she only cares about the deaths now because she's being looked at as a person responsible. If I had cooked up a meal for four people I cared about and three of them died and a fourth looked like

they still might die because of that meal, I would hope I would get emotional over being responsible for that, even if it was an accident. Wiping away tears that many called crocodile tears. She could barely speak,

told the media how much she loved Don and Gail, how they were the best people she'd ever met. Gail was the mom she'd never had, you know, after her own mom passed away especially. She sobbed about this fucking devastating loss of Ian and Heather as well, you know, says she hopes Don will pull through, even though he's still, uh,

uh, wait, yeah, even though he's already dead, Ian was still alive. You know what? Just listen to this. Just listen to this, uh,

interview. She does not appear genuine at all. It's a tragedy what's happened. Can you tell us about the meal that you caused? I'm so devastated by what's happened by the loss of Donning. Don is still in hospital, the loss of Ian and Heather. And Gail, there was some of the best people that I've ever met. Gail was like...

She doesn't think she's making tears. Gail was the mum that I didn't have because my mum passed away four years ago. And Gail's never been anything. but good and kind to me. And Anne and Heather with some of the best people I've ever met, they never did anything wrong to me. And I'm so devastated about what's happened.

It comes across, like, fakery, is that a word? More when you watch it. Because she keeps, the whole time she's talking, she's constantly wiping her eyes, wiping it her nose, but it does not look like her nose is running. It definitely doesn't appear that any tears have come out of her eyes. It looks like she's poking at her eyes to get them to produce tears.

This is a bad acting job. four days later on the 11th, the Department of Health conclude their investigation into potential retail sources of the death cap mushrooms. There was no store anywhere in the region that sold mushrooms that matched Aaron's description. Strongly appeared that she had sent them on a wild goose chase, so they had to go back to square one. Over the next couple of weeks now, forensic work continues on food samples, the dehydrator found at the dumpster, digital devices.

Also, investigators have new information to investigate a previous series of mysterious illnesses involving Aaron's estranged husband Simon Patterson. More on that in just a bit. Finally, on September 11th, 2023, there's good news. Ian is moved into a rehabilitation ward after a successful liver transplant. Dude had to get a fucking new liver to survive this. He'd been an induced coma on life support for weeks. But he responded to treatment, and with the help of that transplant, survived against all odds. 12 days later still, September 23rd, Ian's well enough to leave the hospital, but he returns home to an empty house as a recently recovered but freshly traumatized

widower. Also, as the only survivor of that lunch, he is the only person other than Aaron who can tell investigators what had happened at Aaron Patterson's table. Meanwhile, police have gathered some deeply troubling new information about Aaron that goes back years. Now for some possible previous murder attempts, right? They've alluded to several times. Simon told them that he thought Aaron had tried to poison him three separate times beginning in 2021. The first alleged incident happened in November of that year. Just before a family camping trip, Aaron brought over a bowl of Pene Bolinase specifically for him. She did not eat any, he remembered.

Said she had made it for the children, but brought it out to him in a Tupper container all of its own. Like his portion, one separate thing. After Aaron left, Simon ate the pasta before going to bed. Next morning, felt very unwell. Drove to Aaron's house to pick her up for a camping trip. Started vomiting shortly after arriving. Vomiting continues on the drive to the campsite so much so they can't camp is planned.

I have to stay in a fucking motel. Next day, Simon's condition continues to. deteriorate. He knew he needed medical attention. He goes to the Leongotha Hospital, where he's put on an IV drip, and he assumed it was stomach troubles due to stress. But a doctor concerned about his kidneys transferred him to Monash Hospital, where he remained for five days. He's diagnosed with severe dehydration due to gastroenteritis. A blood test showed acute renal impairment, kidney injury with elevated creatine levels, and modestly elevated lactate, but the medical staff were unable to determine the underlying cause of his illness. He recovers, he goes home,

moves on with his life. Six months later, May of 2020, he gets sick again during another camping trip with Aaron. This time, this camping trip was in the Hauqua Valley. Aaron and Simon has stayed at a public campground. Second night, eat some chicken corn, a curry with rice that she cooked up, brought pre-prepared. Once again, Simon falls sick, continues to feel sick for five days after the camping trip. Aaron goes over to check on him, ends up calling him an ambulance. Next thing he knows, he's in the Monash Hospital in a fucking,

now. Doctors told Aaron is his next akin that without surgery, he's going to die. They asked for her permission to operate and she does give it. He's intubated. He goes, he goes, undergoes various investigative procedures while in the hospital. Doctors are unable to determine the cause of his

illness. He stays in intensive care for three weeks. He's so ill, his family is twice brought in to say their goodbyes to him. June of 2020, Ian updated his friends and family on Facebook posting, my family were asked to come and say goodbye to me twice. I collapsed at home. Then was in an induced coma for 16 days.

Okay, a little over two weeks. I exaggerated. No, no, no. He was an intensive care. I didn't exaggerate. Why did I do that? He was in intensive care for 21 days. He was in a coma for 16 days. And then he said, through which I had three emergency operations mainly on my small intestine. Still, he did not suspecting, Aaron. Then the third suspecting poisoning attempt happened four months after the second one in September of 2022. Aaron had brought over a vegetable wrap for a camping trip at Wilson's promontory. Shortly after eating it, he starts vomiting. His speech becomes slurred.

And now he's fucking paralyzed. He can't move. He's completely paralyzed. Aaron calls an ambulance. Simon again recovers. But now he has three near-death experiences with no medical explanation. How did he not fucking connect this immediately to her? Simon talked about all this with his doctor,

her family friend Dr. Christopher Ford, who encouraged him to create a spreadsheet, listing exactly what he'd eaten around the time of each illness so they can try and figure out what's making him so sick. Now, he knew, of course, he'd gotten all the food from Aaron each time, but he still didn't think she poisoned him. But then February 2023, five months before the fatal lunch, Simon returns to see his doctor. He had now come to believe that his estranged wife was responsible. Why the change of heart? Well, because Aaron had given him a batch of cookies, claiming they had been baked by their daughter. Simon told Dr. Ford that Aaron was very pushy, called him multiple times to ask him if he'd eaten these cookies, tried to guilt-chip him into eating him. He began to suspect, for some reason,

an anti-freeze specifically was added to these cookies. Mr. Patterson then changed his medical power of attorney, removed his wife, quietly told a handful of family members about his suspicions. His sister Anna believed him, and when she heard about the lunch that Aaron planned for the 29th of July, Anna was anxious. She's the one who called her parents tonight before to warn them. but her dad, Don, told her not to worry about it, they'd be okay. And these people are not nearly suspicious as I am. After hearing Simon's suspicions, getting an invite for a big lunch, I think I might have been like, you know what,

why don't we go to the coffee shop instead? Talk about it there. Actually, I guess in the situation, invited by the mother of your grandkids, I probably would have gone over rather than back. No, I can't. I'm afraid you'll kill me. Sorry about that.

That's an explosive accusation. Investigators never figured out exactly what Aaron had allegedly been feeding Simon, though they suspected rat poisoning again, used on at least one occasion. They thought that because they found a file on Aaron's computer with info about the toxin barium carbonate. And all of that is why Simon refused to attend Aaron's lunch, but he thought she was only targeting him and that his family would be safe. Aaron Patterson's arrested. Charge with three counts of murder, one count of attempted murder,

November 2nd, 2023, little over a dozen weeks after having been named a suspect back on August 7th. Excuse me. Investigators have just uncovered some crucial evidence from her phone. Even though it had been wiped clean, phone records revealed that on the morning of April 28, 2023, Aaron's phone had connected to some cell towers that indicated a visit to lock, same small town where Christine McKenzie had found some death cat mushrooms growing under some oak trees. This, in addition to all the other evidence they had gathered, had left them feeling like their case against Aaron was pretty sturdy, but not a slam dunk.

Prosecutors still can't directly connect the dots between Simon's illnesses and the deadly lunch. There was not enough evidence to convince a jury that Aaron had tried. to kill him on those occasions. Victorian Supreme Court Justice Christopher Beale argued, or agreed, ruled that the charges should be heard in a separate trial to prevent jurors from misusing or overvaluing the evidence in relation to Simon.

This separate trial will never happen, though, because of not enough evidence to bring charges. For this trial, this means that the jury will never hear about the pasta, the curry, the rap, that the prosecution had to work harder to build their case around a woman who on paper appeared to be a devoted mother who loaned her in-laws hundreds of thousands of dollars.

In one of Australia's smallest courtrooms, the biggest trial in the country's recent history began April 29th, 2025. My mouth isn't that numb anymore. She's been incarcerated for over 600 days while she's waited for her trial to begin, but I'm going to do more at the end of the timeline. So I'm a fucking rollercoaster right back up.

Now seven different documentary teams and crowds of true crime fanatics descended on the 14,000-ish-person town of Morewell, some of them camping out all night in sleeping bags to reserve their spot in a public gallery to watch the trial of Aaron Patterson in person. The entire nation of Australia will be gripped by the case,

a seemingly average white woman financially stable a mother, a, quote, church person with no obvious motive that matched the horror of the crime she was accused of. Reduced to its simplest form, the jury had to decide

whether some beef Wellington cooked in Aaron's kitchen represented a terrible accident, a forging mistake, or cold-blooded murder, and the ultimate act of betrayal. The trial lasted 31 days. It focused on the four main pillars of the case.

one, the source of the mushrooms. Two, Aaron's behavior after the hospital, including a food dehydrator dump and a phone reset. Three, the cancer lure. And four, wheezer words. No, the mystery of why Aaron did not get sick. Starting with the mushrooms, where on earth did Aaron get them? Taking the stand, she explained she began to forage during the COVID pandemic. Remember she fucking initially was like, I've never forged.

She spoke of how she had long been a mushroom lover, had developed a taste for wild fungi varieties that have more flavor, foraging at botanical gardens, a nearby rail trail on her own property, mainly picking field mushrooms and activities she shared with her. Everyone's foraging. She shared with the kids. All that, again, from the lady who originally claimed that she had never done that, never had a dehydrator. Aaron explained that her love for mushrooms led her to buy a food dehydrator in April of 2023, spoke about how wild mushrooms had a small season. She wanted to preserve them for later use. So how did preserve a lethal fungi end up in a meal? Well, she stuck, by her earlier statements, kind of.

She said she used fresh mushrooms purchased from a supermarket and dried mushrooms bought months earlier from an Asian grocery store in Melbourne. She said she made a huge mistake that she had stored the store bought dried mushrooms from the Asian grocery in the same container as the foraged, dehydrated

mushrooms she got. But this so-called innocent mix-up theory was thrown into serious doubt by the digital footprint she left behind. The old digital footprint right, makes it so much harder to get away with this shit now. So much easier back on my dad's day.

Evidence showed that on May 28th, 2022, a computer in Aaron Patterson's home had accessed the I naturalist website. And the user, whoever they were, probably a stranger who broke into her home to do a bit of online mushroom research, they didn't just stumble upon a link.

They explicitly typed the word I naturalist into a search bar, then navigated to a worldwide map specifically built to track sidings of Death Cap Mushrooms. Dun, dun, dun. And on Eye Naturalist, there were two specific posts uploaded regarding death cap sidings in Aaron's area. On April 18th, there was the post by Christine McKenzie that we went over earlier in the timeline, discovered them in Locke. On May 21st, Fungi Expert, Dr. Thomas May uploaded a post identifying death caps in the tiny, less than 300 people, Hamlet of Outrim.

A 20-minute drive from Locke. The post provided specific coordinates for Nielsen Street. About a 15-minute drive from Aaron's House. Prosecutors used cell phone records to see if Aaron. Aaron had been to these locations when, you know, yeah, when these mushrooms would have been around. Dr. Matthew Sorel, a digital forensics expert, he was like, oh, fuck, yeah, dude. He analyzed Aaron's phone connections to regional base stations, suggest that it was very possible. Aaron had visited and stayed an outrun between 11.24 a.m. 11.49 a.m. May 22nd,

2023, nine weeks for the poisonings. Also agreed there was potential for the phone to have been stationary on a visit to lock for about 45 minutes in the morning of April 28th, However, the defense argued that the prosecution had not proven that Aaron had actually traveled to the specific areas where the death cap mushrooms grew, that cell tower data was not definitively able to place her exactly where the mushrooms were found, and that no data showed that there were still enough death caps available to harvest, even as she'd been there. But still, this all looks bad. Her cell phone, her weirdly restored de facto resetting cell phone looked like it was in the areas where the death cap mushrooms were growing. mushroom someone used her computer to search for and this certainly did not help her case especially after she's been proven to be a liar next the jury hears from Dr. Tom May

the world-renowned expert in fungi and the guy who uploaded that second post I mentioned he testified about some photos between April 28th and May 4th 2023 Aaron had photographed foraged mushrooms on the trays of a dehydrator the images were found by investigators on a Samsung tablet later seized from her home

Dr. May told the jury those images were quote consistent with death cap mushrooms to a high degree of confidence. That really fucking doesn't help her case when combined with everything else. And then the lone poisoning survivor, Pastor Ian Wilkinson takes a stand that poor bastard. He described his relationship with Aaron

prior to the fateful lunch as friendly and amicable, that they were more like acquaintances than friends, that he and his wife Heather were surprised by their invitation. They didn't really understand why they've been invited, but they accepted, you know, graciously anyway. They're nice people. Ian said that Aaron announced, to everyone that she believed she had cancer

and that she believed it was very serious, as in life threatening. Aaron's a strange husband, Simon, will testify and confirm that. He said that Don, his dad, told him after the lunch that Aaron was expecting to undergo chemotherapy. But, big problem, Aaron doesn't have cancer. Never did? No doctor had ever told her that.

Prosecutor Annette Rogers, who seems cool as shit, by the way, put forth that the cancer announcement was nothing more than a sick manipulative lure, a bunch of weasel words to trick her victims into coming to the table under the pretense of important news and how to tell her kids about the illness, a tactic that also ensured the kids would not be present at the meal.

During cross-examination, Aaron denied telling her lunch guess that she had terminal cancer. Ian, fucking nice pastor Ian's the liar, I guess. She admitted leading them to believe that she might need treatment in the next couple weeks or months regarding a vague issue where she thought maybe she might have had ovarian cancer. Why the fuck would you tell them that?

She said that was a ruse for something else altogether. And the plot thickens now. Aaron's defense team, led by Colin Mandy, senior counsel said, yes, Aaron had lied about the cancer diagnosis, but only because she was about to undergo a gastric bypass to lose weight and was embarrassed to tell them the truth. So why would she need to talk to them about that?

Because she needed to know that she would have her family support with the kids if something happened on the operating table. According to Aaron, she had booked an appointment for an assessment for gastric bypass at Melbourne's clinic, the Einrich Cosmetic Clinic, or at a Melbourne Clinic, I'm sure there's a bunch of them, in early September 2023,

and she fucked herself with this story. Again, prosecutor to Annette Rogers, awesome Rogers, pointed out a giant glaring hole with this that the very specific clinic that Aaron mentioned didn't offer that surgery, never had, didn't offer assessments or consultations for a surgery they did not give.

Rogers literally asked Aaron on the stand, I love this. Are you making this up as you go long, Mrs. Patterson. I hope you fucking choke on your weasel words. Her trial is not going well. After her bullshit cancer story unravels, prosecutors move on to the bigger, more incriminating question.

Why was Aaron not sick? Prosecutors would fixate on this as the single most damning piece of evidence against her. And here is Aaron's pathetic defense. Her lawyer said that Aaron did actually consume the same dish, ate all the same poison mushrooms. So why were there no toxins in her body? they said the answer to that question

dated back to a decades-long struggle with bulimia. Aaron would tell the court that she had only eaten a small part of her lunch. But later, when her lunch guests left, she devoured almost the entire orange cake, binging until she was about to burst, and then she vomited it all back up. Aaron had been binging and purging since her 20s.

It had continued longer into her 40s, she said she claimed that around the time of the lunch she was doing this two to three times a week, at least. Her defense also pointed to her medical records. Senior counsel Colin Mandy reminded the jury of unfakable indicators, blood tests showing low potassium, but it wasn't that low. Elevated hemoglobin suggesting your body was fighting something. Now her erratic behavior with medical staff and her decision to discharge herself early as scrutinized.

Aaron attributed that to a deep mistrust of the health system after doctors had previously dismissed concerns about her kids' health. This is nonsense. Prosecution then turned to Aaron's shady behavior following lunch, secretly dumping her food dehydrated her in the trash, lying about it, factory resetting her phone. security camera footage had been found showing her dump that food dehydrator. And Aaron explained this away as a simple, quote, freak out. I freaked out, okay? People freak out.

It's a thing. Can I go home now? She said that back in August of 2023, when Ian, Heather Gale, and Don were sick in the hospital, Simon had stormed up to her naughty Simon and said, Is that how you poison my parents using that dehydrator? Aaron told the quote that she then freaked out. She was terrified, self-conscious,

that people would wrongly blame her for the mushroom lunch. Aaron's lead attorney Colin Mandy told the jury, quote, she panicked when confronted with the terrible possibility, the terrible realization that our actions had caused the illness of people she liked. And therefore, Aaron Dump and the Dehydrated was a silly and dumb move, just done out of sheer panic, as was the phone reset, as was all the lies, she just continued to panic. You know, yeah, she lied. She's a liar.

But being a liar, the defense team said, does not make you a murderer. That's all they have left to use for their defense. In his closing arguments on June 19th, Senior Defense Council, Colin Mandy, said the prosecution's case was based on ridiculous propositions that Patterson would intend to kill these four people, blowing her entire life up in the process without a motive. Throughout the trial, the prosecution had told a 12-member jury that they did not need to prove a motive, only convinced them beyond reasonable doubt that Patterson intended, for whatever reason, to kill the two elderly couples and that she deliberately picked death-cap mushrooms to do it. Colin Mandy countered this. He said it was wrong for the prosecution to tell the jury it did not matter that Patterson had no motive for the alleged crimes, saying that a thorough investigation,

including the analysis of electronic devices, messages exchanged with her online friends, and evidence from family witnesses had found only, quote, 18 years worth of what we call antimotive evidence, evidence of why she wouldn't want to do anything to these people. However, Justice Beale sided with the prosecution. He told the jury that the prosecution didn't have to prove motive, reminded them that, quote, some murders occur for no apparent reason.

Fuck yeah, they do. The motives for such murders may only ever be known to the offenders. So what has the online speculation been regarding what Aaron's motive might have been? Let's look into the Ask an Australian subreddit. All these posts come from June 17th, 2025, two days before closing arguments. User breast cancer bitch. This is all real user names. Thinks there was no motive that essentially Aaron's just fucking nuts. She posted, I think she's not fully in her right mind. And so motive may not be logical. She may have intended to try to harm the husband

and then disassociated so much when he didn't come that she just went ahead with a plan. Something's not right in Kansas with that one. The Green Chronic seems to think a sense of revenge was the reason. They posted, Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. The motive is most likely revenge, a way to punish for perceived wrongdoings.

User Leather Dimension 73. Oh, okay. uh... Hey, Louzavina. Uh, added to this revenge theory posting, is going to hurt your ex more if all of his family are dead. Wet monkey talk. I love these things.

Added further to this sentiment, writing, punish the ex. It's the same sort of mindset that leads someone to kill their children, but leave their ex alive to suffer for the rest of their life. Hmm, sad but true. Excuse me. Um, Arni 24 posted a twist on that theory, writing, the in-laws did not back her with the child payments.

Simon was pissing her off. Simon's family had been paid a lot of loan money. They probably took his side also, and what better way to make the lot suffer by ending the parents' existence? That's basically what I've been thinking. Inevitable kale, 2759, expanded on that theory posting, you're all trying to find a logical motive,

and you're all thinking that she must be more intelligent than she appears to have been based on her actions. The clues to motive lie in the way she responded to finding out that Simon had referred to them as separated. She didn't want to be separated. She didn't consider the family to be separated. The extended family were the only real family she had. He blew that up and they, the extended family, did not rally sufficiently behind her.

In her mind, they all let her down. Simon needed to be punished. It didn't matter whether he had come to the lunch or not. Yes, she was blowing up everything that meant something to her, but they all caps let her down. That was the worst thing. And then New Cup 3069 posted something I had not thought of. A motive, I think, that could coexist with a popular revenge.

motive. They wrote, I get the impression Aaron wasn't well grounded in reality and that she lived a pretty colorless lonely existence. My thoughts are that she got away with poisoning the husband and got a hive from it. Think of the roller coaster with that. He almost died a few times with ICU for a month. Once he recovers, things get boring again. I have a family member like this. Will stir up serious dramas, suing people, fights with neighbors, et cetera, et cetera, because it gives their colorless life some excitement and attention from people that aren't usually bothered with them. She probably didn't mean to kill them. I think if she had, she would have been much better prepared.

I think her little game of playing God just got out of hand. Mouse emotional 813 replied with something else I agree with writing, I think she meant to kill them. She'd been unsuccessful the first couple of times with Simon, so she knew how much to use this time. Totally agree with the rest of what you said, though. She might have the smarts to be an air traffic controller, but that doesn't mean she was good at covering up a crime.

She didn't expect the hospital to realize what it was. They didn't work out. They didn't work it out when Simon was poisoned previously. Exactly. She'd gotten away with poison, Simon, and all likely three fucking times. She was never even questioned by the police or the hospital staff or openly suspected by Simon's family, right? At that time, I think that mixed with her recent obsession with true crime, made her overly

confident that she started to think she was a lot smarter than she was when it came to crime, right? She'd gotten lucky, but she took that luck as evidence that she was some kind of criminal mastermind, and that made her sloppy. just like, you know, with many of the serial killers, serial killers we've covered over the years. Get away with a few murders, maybe have a light brush with the law,

but walk away unscathed, then start to think, oh, shit, I've got this. I know how to get away with this shit. I'm smarter than the police. And then they get lazy, they get sloppy, and they fuck up. I didn't really find any other theories regarding motive. I thought were better than those ones. Most people believe she did out of some notion of revenge,

you know, over being let down by Simon's family overall. But I did find two other posts. I wanted to share just because it cracked me up. present policy 7120 wrote she was motivated to put death cap mushrooms in the food because she wanted the people who ate it to die very direct based on the other post they made I think this is like dry humor

not captain obvious shit what was her motivation to put death cap mushrooms in beef Wellington so people who eat them would die and then finally low-flying satellites posted bought some lions main from a seller at a farmer's market a couple weeks ago the seller had a sign with the prices, and then they wrote,

death cap mushrooms are free for politicians. And I thought that was funny. And now before moving on, I think Aaron's motivation was initially to kill Simon and his parents, as he was also originally invited to the lunch. I think she wanted to kill them for reasons redditors already stated,

she felt betrayed. She'd been so generous to them with her inheritance money. She loaned two a Simon's siblings, enormous sums of cash with no strings attached, no interest, no repayment schedule. She had via her inheritance, financially carried Simon for so many years,

added his name to two new properties after her parents had both died when she did not have to, when they were separated. That was when she decided to try and kill Simon the first time. She's resentful, bitter, felt taking advantage of. Then when Simon filed his tax return as being single, when he then started to refuse to pay more than $40 a month

in child support for two kids, which is so gross, and his parents would not take her side in this dispute over this. I think that's when she decided to kill Simon and his parents because she felt betrayed by them all. I think she went through with it when Simon backed out because it would not only still punish Simon,

but it would also punish his siblings. I imagine speculating here that she felt like they were all a bunch of opportunistic leeches, parasites, happy to take her money, but not reciprocate that generosity and stand up for her against Simon. I think she thought no one would be able to figure out that she had used death cap mushrooms

and that she would get away with it, maybe try and poison Simon again later. And I think she poisoned Ian and Heather Wilkinson to deflect suspicion away from her, make it not look like a targeted attack specifically on the Patterson family, hide her motive a little better. And perhaps, or perhaps they'd also,

at least in her deranged mind, sided with the Patterson family, not stood up for her regarding Simon, financially taking advantage of her. She felt maybe they deserved death for that as well, right? Doesn't have to be totally logical. After nine weeks of testimony, six days of deliberation,

July 7th, 2025, the jury reaches their verdict. The courtroom fell silent as Aaron Patterson sat motionless. Her hands neatly folded in her lap, her face completely still. Guilty, guilty, guilty. The jury's four-person read in quick succession. Erin Patterson found guilty of three counts of murder, one count of attempted murder. She doesn't flinch.

Show zero visible reaction. Not all the tears, she shared in that interview. Look straight to the jury, her face unreadable. It's all over within minutes. Patterson's lawyers, led by Colin Mandy, leave the courtroom without making a comment. There were no members of the Wilkins Center Patterson families in the courtroom to hear the verdict. just one unnamed friend of errands who quietly wiped away some tears

maybe also mumbled wheezel words outside of the courthouse the nation exhaled the trial had gripped Australia for months it's now over news cameras broadcast the verdict live social media explodes true crime forums dissect every detail of this case Justice Christopher Beale sets a sentencing

hearing from Monday, September 8th, 2025 at the sentencing hearing he rules that Aaron's crimes fell into the worst category of offending The only thing that saved Aaron from life without the possibility of parole was one factor, the brutal conditions of her confinement and the impact of what would likely be decades of isolation in the maximum security Gordon unit of the Dame Phyllis Frost Detention Center. A letter from Ophelia Holloway of Doug and George solicitors dated August 18, 2025,

outlined those conditions. Aaron had been held there for the last 15 months. Justice Beale read the conditions aloud, addressing Aaron directly. You have been kept in a solitary cell for upwards of 22 hours per day. Your cell is approximately four meters by two and a half meters. Your meals in medicine are currently delivered through a flap in the cell door. There is a two meter by two meter concrete yard, which adjoins your cell and by which you can access fresh air,

but you require permission to use it. You also require permission to communicate with the other prisoners in the Gordon unit. You have supervised in-person contact with your children once per month, and usually zoom contact with them on Tuesdays and Saturdays, but not if you have had or are having in-person contact with them within a couple of days. The maximum period that a prisoner in the Gordon unit could have out of their cell on any given day is four hours, but that wouldn't happen very often. Theoretically, prisoners in the Gordon unit are able to access the prison library twice per week for 20 minutes at a time.

You have not been able to do so because of staff shortages. And then Justice Beale moved on to why he was still giving her a lengthy sentence, saying, after learning from Simon on Sunday, July 30, 2023, that some or all of your lunch guests had been hospitalized, you showed no pity for your victims. Instead of informing those treating the Patterson's and Wilkinsons that you had used foraged mushrooms, which you could have done without having to admit

that you had deliberately poisoned their meals, you repeatedly denied foraging, insisting that the mushrooms for the beef Wellington were sourced solely from Woolworths and an Asian grocery. We will never know whether revealing the use of forged mushrooms would have made a difference. But the administration of the drug syllabinin, which is a specific antidote for death cap mushroom poisoning,

was not commenced on July 30th, 2023, because at that stage, the evidence regarding the type of toxin was inconclusive. Finally and most importantly, your offending involved in enormous betrayal of trust. Your victims were all relatives by marriage. More than that, they had all been good to you, and your children over many years,

as you acknowledge in your own testimony, not only were you cut did you cut short three not only did you cut short three lives and caused lasting damage to Ian Wilkinson health thereby devastating the extended Patterson and Wilkinson families you inflicted untold suffering on your own children whom you robbed of their beloved grandparents it's so fucking gross in so many ways victim statements were also read in total 29 different impact statements in her statement Ian Wilkinson's sister Dorothy Dicker last name noted and appreciated question how anyone could sit there and watch those four kind and caring people eat that meal. Ian and Heather's son David talked of his mother being desperate for water, which she was not allowed by medical staff, saying her insides were burning. David talked of his father's tortured appearance, his black lips, gone face, pained in serious expression. In his victim's statement, Pastor Wilkinson offered Aaron forgiveness for what she did to him. He said, quote, in regards to the many harms done to me, I make an offer of forgiveness to Aaron.

I say harms done to me advisedly. I have no power or responsibility to forgive harms done to others. However, I encourage Aaron to receive my offer of forgiveness for those harms done to me with full confession and repentance. I bear her no ill will. Man, a true Christian, that is very impressive. In commenting on the unprecedented coverage of your case, Pastor Wilkinson also said,

it's one of the distressing shortcomings of our society that so much attention is showered on those who do evil and so little on those who do good. That's true. The victim impact statements made it crystal clear. Don, Heather, Gail, and Ian, each and every one of them over many years, gave themselves generously and made lasting contributions to many, many lives. And Ian's case continues to make. They were good, kind, honest people, and they treated Aaron as one of their own.

In his statement, Matthew Patterson, Aaron's brother-in-law, again, whom she loaned for in $400,000 too, said, Aaron was embraced as part of the Patterson family. She was welcomed and treated with genuine love and respect in a way she did not appear to experience from her own family. Her actions represent a profound and devastating betrayal of the trust and love extended to her. Taking everything into account, Justice Beal, handed down the sentence, life in prison for each murder count, 25 years for the attempted murder charge, and a non-parole period of 33 years. And what all that means is that Aaron Patterson, 50 years old at her time of sentencing, will be 82 before she's eligible for release.

Now, one more thing before leaving the timeline. On September 18th, the last year, 10 days after Aaron's sentencing, the doctor, Dr. Chris Weber, a Webster, who called the police to have them bring Aaron to the hospital when he worried that she, too, had ingested toxic mushrooms, was legally disciplined for telling a BBC reporter that Aaron was a, quote, disturbed, sociopathic nutback. He was ordered to undergo monitoring and ethical education for a minimum of eight hours, focusing on addressing professional communication and patient privacy and confidentiality. Some Australians called for him to lose his medical license. Others applauded his honesty. I'm going to be one of those people. I mean, her murder trial was public, not private.

His comments came after she was found guilty of three murders. I do understand the importance of patient privacy, but also I hope his business picked up following that comment. I respect his professional opinion that she is, in fact, a disturbed sociopathic nutback. And now I'm going to get out of this timeline. But before you hear me next, I'm going to be fucking pumped up again. I'm going to have taken the rest, and I am glad.

I mean, Lindsay wouldn't have let me do more anyway, but I am glad I measured it out and only took a certain amount because if I had more, I'd want to do even more. And now I'm going to push this button. Good job, soldier. You've made it back. Barely. Before moving forward, today's episode is brought to, of course, by Whipple, Death Cap Cocaine Edition.

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The Aaron Patterson trial, one of the most significant, widely covered criminal cases in recent Australian history. The media likened the public fixation to the frenzy that surrounded poor Lindy Chamberlain in the 1980s. We did a short suck about her. That woman found guilty of murder, eventually cleared after authorities determined a dingo did, in fact, take her baby.

even before I went to trial the case of Aaron Patterson inspired a TV special, Silver Screen, drama series, bevy of podcasts, several documentaries, a handful of books have been published since. Why?

In part, I think, because there's a lot of mystery around it. For so much we still don't know about Aaron Patterson. She's never admitted intentionally poisoning her in-laws, has never admitted to trying to kill Simon either. So strange that she would be so close with these people, so incredibly generous to the Patterson family over many years,

And then after so many years of being on and, like in an on-again, off-again relationship with Simon, snap over a child support situation or about him listing himself as separated on a tax form. I guess those were the straws. One of those was the straws. My lips are so fucking numb. But not even that really explains it because it seems she tried to kill Simon for the first time back in 2021, the year before he tick separated instead of married on his 22, 20-22 tax return before the child support debacle. The more you study this case, the more confusing it gets. A lot of people have found Aaron fucking weird over the years, even disturbed. But there was no history of violence.

No one ever seemed to be scared of her. No one has come forward with allegations that she might have tried to poison anybody before she allegedly poisoned Simon. That's where I think the real fascination from this case stems from. Almost all of us have relatives or family friends or exes who are not our favorite people. People who remain in our lives out of some sense of obligation rather than out of genuine love for their company. People who we might, you know, share a meal with more out of a feeling of not wanting to be rude. not wanting to hurt their feelings, as opposed because, you know,

we really want to have a meal with him. Many of us have had on again, off again relationships, people who we might share a meal with because they want closure. We dread going, but we still go. That's very relatable. And it's crazy to think that one of these people could, for whatever reason, out of the blue,

just fucking poison us. Or that someone we exactly, that we actually do enjoy, grabbing a meal with could do that. Somebody we don't even know very well, who've never had any uncomfortable, run-ins within or uncomfortable run-ins in the past with could do that. That's scary in a way.

Then someone's snapping and coming out you with a gun or knife, right? In that scenario, you can at least try and run and hide or fight back. But what if there's so much sneakier? What if you never see the lethal strike coming? What if it shows up? Not as a bloodthirsty, violent attack, but as a delicious serving of beef Wellington. That's so scary because it leaves all of us feeling vulnerable. I feel like I'm not saying any of this in the tone I should.

It's impossible for me to do that right now. I mean, when was the last time you ate something cooked made by somebody else? A spouse, a parent, a friend, a co-worker, some stranger from the farmer's market. Somebody's the fast food place, they could get death cat mushrooms and just fucking sprinkling into your taco. Anyone can snap. Anyone can trick you into thinking that they're harmless with their fucking weasel words. But really, they're a killer. And that's, I don't like that.

I don't like thinking about any of that stuff. Let's go to the takeaways. Time suck. Top five takeaways. Number one, Death Cat Mushrooms, Native Europe. Death Cat Mushrooms arrived in Australia by accident. First confirmed in Australia in the 60s. Likely we're around undetected for longer than that.

Death Cat mushrooms grow near oak trees and only appear above ground for a couple weeks, actually, before they start to decay. Death Cat mushrooms contain toxins that stopped the production of protein in liver cells, and the cells begin to die, leading to possible liver failure and death. I don't want to be thinking about any of this on my next room trip. treatments are available, but none of them are 100% effective. The death cap mushroom is responsible for nine out of every 10 mushroom poisoning deaths. While just one mushroom can kill an adult, death caps are said to taste pleasant. Look similar to edible mushrooms used in cooking.

The innocuous look, feel, taste of a death cap mushroom means it can be hard for someone who has eaten one to know they've been poisoned. Number two, Simon Patterson told investigators he believed Aaron had tried to poison three times, starting in 2021, though the jury not allowed to hear that testimony. first time after eating a pasta dish, Aaron brought him. Got hospitalized for five days. Second time, May of 2022, after eating some fucking chicken curry, the Aaron made for a camping trip. He collapsed, ended up in a coma.

Spent three weeks in the ICU, 16 days in a coma. Underwent some emergency procedures, technically surgeries. His family was twice told to say their goodbyes to him. Third time in September of 2022 after eating a vegetable wrap. Simon suffered a seizure and paralysis. Despite those repeated hospitalizations, Simon did not immediately connect the dots. And it wasn't until a family friend who was a doctor suggested to keep a food diary, they started to suspect Aaron was poisoning him on purpose.

He feels like, never mind. Number three, Aaron originally said that she bought the mushrooms from a Woolworths and an Asian grocery. But later she changed her story. When the Asian grocery store explanation became untenable, because death cap mushrooms cannot be cultivated commercially, and there were no other reports that people get. getting ill or dying from mushrooms at Asian grocery stores.

She shifted to a new account that forged mushrooms had ended up in a container with Asian grocery store mushrooms. That makes it sound like the mushrooms themselves are Asian. And then accidentally ended up in Beef Wellington.

Number four, I feel like I'm more high right now than I was earlier. Aaron told her lunch guest that she might need cancer treatment in the coming weeks or months for an issue. She'd had a year or two earlier

during cross-examination. She denied saying it was terminal cancer, but admitted deleting them, to leading them to believe she needed treatment. Her defense team offered an explanation. Aaron was actually planning gastric bypass surgery. It was too embarrassed to tell the truth. But according to prosecutors,

the Einrich Cosmetic Clinic did not offer that surgery. And she's caught a lie. She shipped through her story. Maybe it was liposuction instead, she said, I don't know if I mentioned that earlier. Prosecution called out the cancer lure, a fake diagnosis designed to ensure victims showed up for lunch, and then all the kids would not be present for the meal.

A number five, new info, more evidence used to convict Aaron at her trial and a glimpse of her life behind bars. The day after the deadly lunch, she took her son to a lesson for flying his toy rockets, which was canceled. Not long before they were due to arrive. Despite that trip, she made a stop at a gas station and CCTV footage shows Aaron Patterson exiting her car before entering the building, then walking into a bathroom, and then nine seconds later, walking back out. Told the jury she went into the toilet to dispose of soiled tissues. she had used after she made an emergency roadside stop to relieve herself. I guess she just didn't wash her hands.

Why not, if you're not going to wash her hands, why not just throw that shit in a trash can outside? The prosecution alleged she went into that bathroom as a part of her fucking act to pretend to have diarrhea. Which out with a nine second trip, clearly she wasn't suffering from or she has the fastest butt hole in Australia. Also, according to Seven News Australia, while incarcerated awaiting her trial a few months before she was sentenced to fellow inmate accused Aaron. that's right, of tampering with her food, of making a meal of her, and of getting very sick after eating a meal Aaron had made. If she's still at it?

And who would eat a meal she made after knowing why she was in there? Okay. Time suck. Top five takeaways. Well, thank you to the bad magic production team for helping to make time suck. Thanks for listening to this 500th episode

called Blowing Through the Mushroom. murders. I had fun. Obviously, I had fun. I don't know if you guys had fun. Maybe you're like, oh, shame on you. I'm aware of that intellectually, but I don't care in this moment because I feel so good. Thank you to the bad magic productions team for helping making time suck. Thanks to Queen of Bad Magic Lindsay Cummins for standing by today for safety, for being here for the past 500 weeks. She's great. All the months that led up to conceptualizing the show before any episode was ever released. She was so patient. Thanks also to Logan Keith helping to publish this episode, designing merch for the store at bad magic productions.com.

And he's been fucking killing it on Nightmarefield recently. The whole time, but he keeps getting better. Thank you to Laura Woods for her research. I think she's Australian. Thanks to the All Seen Eyes for still moderating the cult of curious private Facebook page.

After all these years, I don't know, I'm laughing. The Mod Squad, thank them for making Discord cool. You know, TimeSuck Subredits and Bad Magic Subdited people. They're good. And now let's head on to this week's Time Sucker Updates. Get your Time Sucker Update. Oh my God.

I just remembered the last fucking update not that the other ones aren't good but the last one I hope it's going to blow your mind. It blew my mind.

First up, Tennessee sucker Griffin Smith sent an email to Bojangles at Timesuckpodcast.com with the subject line of Johnson City mini suck. I've gotten so many messages

about the Johnson City suck. Hello, master sucker. I hope you and your team are doing well in Nimrod Tolly Suck Dungeon. I am. I currently live in Chicago

right now for school but I'm in but I'm from Knoxville. so I couldn't pass up the chance to listen to an episode that took place so close to my hometown. I'm glad you enjoyed the pronunciation of Cock County. If you think that's funny, just remember that Cock County High School are the fighting cocks. At least their girls' team don't use that name from what I can tell. Attached as a photo evidence.

So you might gaze and wonder upon it. Yes, I did. However, this is not the only county you would enjoy in East Tennessee for Blount County is not pronounced like blouse or blount, but like blunt. I'm not yanking your chain or your cock. Furthermore, so it's Blunt County Furthermore, Mariville is pronounced like Murville.

Yes, it's strange. Anyways, I always love your stuff and I think you're pretty rad. Thanks. Well, hopefully, don't fucking do what I'm doing right now, though. If you somehow do decide to read this on air, please give a shout out to my longtime girlfriend, Abby. She introduced me to your podcast.

I'm thankful she did. Keep sucking cocks and blunts. Griffin. Thank you, Griffin. The suckage of cox and blunts will continue as Nimrod allows it. It does crack me up in schools. Refused to change their mascot.

Excuse me. when the lingo changes and suddenly it makes her mascot a little risque. I can only imagine what unofficial school songs and unofficial merch the fighting cocks have had over the years

same for the blunts. And Abby, thank you. Appreciate you, spread the suck. Hope Lucifina blessed you both with tons of genital fun. Don't do coke. Next up. A sweet message from a sweet sucker

Stephanie Ingram who wrote in with a subject line of requested shit story. Hello, beautiful souls of bad magic. I just finished the night caller and you asked for shit stories. I graduated from high school in 2006. Well, look, you, young child.

My principal was just a pretentious stick in the mud douchebag. He gave off kid-diller vibes and drove this mini-Cooper that was always parked right outside the main office. I wish I could take credit, but someone in my graduating class decided his senior prank would be to shit on the hood of his car. All the seniors loved it. I hadn't thought about that in many, many years.

Allegedly, it's become an urban legend in town, certainly better than the person who put cooking oil down the breezeway, forcing everyone to walk to class in the rain for a few days. I also wanted to share with you how much your shows mean to me. Like pretty much everyone in the world, fuck am I going through it? Your shows are the glimmer of hope that helps me carry on. Gives me something to look forward to is right now there are,

there's not much else to be excited about. Nightmer Fuel is my favorite thing ever. Fuck, I wish these were movies. That's them writing this, not me. I do too. I want you and Mike Flanagan to close. lab on a show or a movie or something. Oh my God, I would lose my fucking mind. Anywho, I always forget when it's nightmare fuel week and then I have wonderful, exciting surprise when I realize

there's a new episode. I have a whole routine, noise cancellation headphones in a recliner, in a shed, in my backyard smoking weed. I tend to listen to all the shows while I'm out there, but scared to death and especially nighttime nightmare fuel must be listened to out there. One of the recent episodes really got under my skin and scared the hell out of me. I loved it. Creeper extraordinaire. I don't remember what episode exactly, but it was. something to do with a shower. Oh, yeah. And I was in San Francisco with fog. And it was it. You weren't there. It was there. The doors to the shed were open. I was in the shed alone. The yard was very foggy. It was right around dusk. Every time there was a knocking sound effect, I just about jumped

out of the recliner. Felt like someone was knocking on the hall wall of the shed behind me. When my husband came out to the shed, I was about died of fright, not hearing him coming at all. I ended up throwing on the Hamilton soundtrack after the episode ended to get a different headspace before walking across the backyard into my house at night, I also sometimes forget Dynamo Fuel is not a movie or TV show yet or real people and will be Googling pictures. Oh, yeah, dummy, you're not listening to Time Suck.

Please never stop being you. I know thank you enough for what you've given me, Steph. Steph, I hope you're not disappointed me right now. I'm so glad you're loving the content. I still love getting spooked from a good, scary story. I've been needing to consume more horror content to stay inspired lately. I'm excited to see Hocum when it comes out,

starring Adam Scott. I like with the Irish director and writer, Damian McCarthy did with oddity and caveat. Now he's given more of a budget. Also, if you haven't seen the anthology series, Them on Amazon Prime, I thought it was so fucking good.

Also, just saw Bride. In the theater, not scary, not traditional horror. I think it's technically a gothic romance, but I found it to be a really pretty film, like a work of art. I'm going to be focusing more in a horror in the coming years, It would be a dream

to get something filmed but I'm already happy. Mike Flanagan, he's great. Especially loved haunting a pill house. Thank you again. Thanks just, you have so many people, some of you guys are so nice. Next have a message from an educated sack,

a doctor, Rosa Town, who sent in, oh, you're going to be disappointed me, Rosa. Sent in a message with the subject line of Lavelle's Thrive Supplement ended my friendship. Dear Dan, I've been a time-suck listener since the pandemic and three to five stars wouldn't change a thing.

You single-handedly, got me through writing my psychology research to doctorate during the many lockdowns in the UK. I'm now doctorate. I love that, Dr. Town. Think about that. If you get mad at me for what I'm doing now, think about good times. I love your reverence, but also openness to learning about and understanding the world. I wish there were more people like you on this earth. That's so fucking nice. I felt inspired to write in after your episode on Chris Watts. Really well researched, by the way. A lot of people were mad about my pronunciation of Shanan. It's so fucking complicated. There's so many opinions on the internet about how it said. It's been a normal

cathartic to hear your resulting jokes about thrive, which I have a disturbing personal connection with. If you're not thriving, you die in! My close friend from college, we both went to Smith. Oh, that's cool. One of the seven sisters. I stayed in touch because we drifted across the country and eventually world, started our careers after we graduated.

She's always been an interesting person, excuse me, very intelligent, but also nonconformist. At one point, she started up a substantial social media following for doing horse yoga, which kind of sums her up. What the fuck is horse yoga? During the first lockdown, I was in the UK working on my doctorate. I mean, she was back in the States working as a yoga teacher

and running a farm in Virginia. I was vaguely aware she had started her own business but didn't know what this entailed until one day out of the blue, she responded to my Instagram story to try and sell me thrive, of course. This was your typical, hey, girlie message, followed by an empathetic sentence or two about the state of the world, and then would I like to support her small business

by buying the most amazing supplement, which will change my life, make me less tired, also inexplicably, make my hair grow longer, stronger and thicker. As someone who has naturally thick hair, I was skeptical. That is funny. You want your hair thick? Fuck, it's already thick. I responded saying I wasn't interested in the product,

but I was interested in her and how she was doing. She took that badly saying I was not supporting her, and I was letting her down, and she thought I was a better friend. I don't like your friend right now. Rosa, fuck this lady. I would generally creeped out by the whole encounter, but decided to put it behind me while I focused on my research.

Months later, I noticed she had reposed posted a series of stories from a MAGA influencer who was blaming her child's autism on vaccines. Sounds on brand. My research focuses on young people in developmental psychology, and I have a lot of experience working with children with autism and other neurodevelopmental conditions. I know how dangerous these views can be for both children, families, and the wider public. The stories alarm me. Yes, thank God.

Especially knowing my friend is an intelligent, well-meaning person, and I reached out to her to tell her as much, I shared research with her that confirms there is no link between vaccines and autism. I gently asked her to take the stories down. She blocked me. I've always wondered if the entry point for extreme bodily autonomy slash anti-vaccine slash raw camel milk seriously views for my friend was becoming a thrive salesperson. The true evil of these MLMs is that they prey on people's fears and vulnerabilities.

Fuck yes. Given a simple answer to yes to complex questions. All the name of making a quick buck. I know I fucking hate these motherfuckers. your approach to thrive on your podcast will likely make someone think twice before they become involved with this company and others like it

thank you for doing what you do and I appreciate you. By the way, all the research on Whipple says it's safe for human consumption warm wishes, Dr. Rosa Town. It's fucking so cool to be a doctor. I mean, not that I know.

I'm not a doctor. Dr. Town, I'll be so proud of that. I would be so proud of myself if I was a doctor. It's a great doctor's name, by the way. Dr. Town sounds extradctorally or something. I don't know if Dr. Cummins has a good ring to it. I don't think it does. You're right about MLMs. The obsessive dedication

they ask for is disturbing. And the simplistic view, it's just these fucking patches are going to fix everything. That energy always bothers me. In a quaint of mine at the gym, he's a nice guy. He's had that energy lately, though, but with peptides, Jesus Christ, it's all he talks about. Like, dude, I fucking get the excitement. Take it down a notch. Yeah, they're cool. Maybe we don't all need to be on them all the time. For a guy who just did this episode on below, this might sound insane. But I think with a lot of health-related supplements, like energy patches, are you supposed to be that amped up all the time? Probably not. Probably not healthy. I feel fucking great now. I'm not going to start doing blow every day. I mean,

fucking Lindsay would murder me. And it would be a terrible example. But you're not supposed to feel like this all the time. It's not natural. Molly's probably my favorite drug in terms of how happy it makes me. But the happiness comes at a price, the more you use, the worse you feel later. I know this is going to make me not feel great tomorrow in my brain a little bit. With shit like thrive, I worry about that, right? Yeah. you might feel fucking awesome on some of their patches, but how good are you going to feel when you finally stop taking them? We can't afford to take them.

How dangerous is it to continually take that shit? There's not enough regulation there. We all want to feel our best. I know some of the stuff is it helpful. A lot of it, though, is snake oil that is going to do more harm than good in the long run. And again, thank you for what you do. What a noble profession you've chosen. I might influence some lives, but you will save lives.

And that's better. How many girls will you inspire to follow in your footsteps, too, right? How many others will, you know, period will you inspire? I'm so fucked up right now. I actually thought I wrote in my notes. How many others will your periods inspire? I was like, what the fuck? Why would I write that?

But how beautiful to be part of that cycle. And thank you for writing in. And now for one last one. I added this last minute. It just came in this morning. It's one of the greatest messages I've ever received in almost 10 years. A mystery sack or fictional character come to life, Bob Bounty, sent in a message with a subject line

of just a regular listener checking in, Hail Lucifina, and then check this shit out. You clicked it, you absolute fool. I'm in your inbox. Stop adjusting your glasses, Cummins, it's Bob. You think you can just filter around? Bob's benevolful, boss our fruit top is!

You think a few lines of code and a mark as junk button can stop the relentless march of microbotany? I know you've been screened in my emails, Dan. I can smell the cowardice all the way from my hyperbaric greenhouse. I've spent the last six months in a dark, heavily tarved basement,

crossbreeding a miniature pomegranate with a Venus fly trap. back, Dan, it has teeth, and it tastes like pure unadulterated citrus vengeance. The FDA tried to shut me down. The local zoning board called it a level four biological hazard, but they can't stop the harvest, and neither can you. The site is live. The relaunch is complete.

Bob's bountiful bonsai fruit.biz has been completely rebuilt from the ground up on a server hosted in a country that doesn't have extradition laws regarding experimental agriculture. I demand you tell your little cult to open their wallets, tell them to buy the biting pomegranates, tell them to buy the micro-kiwis that vibrate, when you hold them, tell them about the bonsai coconuts that are mathematically calibrated to be just hard enough to shatter a human molar. You will read this domain on the podcast, Dan,

Bob's Boundiful Bonsai Fruit.Opiz, say it with your mouth or so help me lose to phina, I will find out where you walk those dogs of ears and I will seed the grass with microscopic flesh-eating pineapples. We are bound together by the soil comens. Acknowledge the harvest. Bob. Holy shit.

Bob has gone full mad scientist. And this website is 100% real, and it is fucking glorious. You can really now go. And we don't know who did this because the email just comes from the website. We don't know the real name. Bob's Bountiful bonsai fruit.biz.

I have to drink some water. I'm so sorry. It's a real website. You go on it. It looks like a pirated site. Flashing thing. I am back. The gag order has been mulched.

Listen up citizens after years of dodging federal injunctions and accidental greenhouse fires. The signal is finally unkillable. It says some more stuff. Enter this orchard. You click it. Oh my God. There's so many banners and pop-ups.

Why? Congratulations, Meat, Sack. It says you've been selected for a free tally-a-wipple. Fuck your sleep. Push through the wall. And then I hit close. It says, you can't quit Whipple. Another pop-up.

Fuck your excuses. Push. Then I click, I submit. And then something else pops up. Showbies. A little spinning thing. We're giving away exactly free. What?

free pins and needles with it's spinning so it's hard to read with every order I say no thank you I have to follow the spin click that

and then another thing mother mother those apples are on sale that comes up oh my god then another pop-up don't look under the bed the shadow people are buffering

I click turn on the lights urgent alert another pop-up have you seen my soft peeling knife I'm just a Soviet grandfather I need it for the apples I click I don't know anything

what this big deal? You refuse grandfather, Nalor Russell. I click tap out. Fucking, Yamo be there pops up. Oh my God. I didn't even think of that. I'm going to play that again. Listen, there's so, guys,

if you like the silly stuff from this show, you've got to check this out. There's nothing actually for sale there. Bob's bound off, I mean, fake sale. If I click, buy it now, $500 cash-only whittle maker Apple. It's access denied.

System error. Car declined by the Illuminati, the lizards know. Then I click, I will pay in blood. Fuck, guys, thank you so much for making this ride so fun. I know it's morphed over the years. I know it's changed. I've changed, right? I think that's how you're supposed to go in life.

I know some content creators, maybe there's a, it's easier with them because they just kind of, you know, they come up with the formula and they do the same thing forever, and their opinions don't really change as they go on. And there's comfort in that. and I know some people have left because my opinions have shifted on certain things as I've taken new information. But there are always, I hope those of you,

I hope you understand that whether I'm ragging on a religious thing or apologizes, it actually does come from a place of, I don't want people to be taken advantage of, I don't want people to be harmed, I want everyone to have an equal playing field, it actually does come from a good place. And I think so many you get that,

and you have made, you've changed my life. It's been amazing. Thank you so much. Everyone for making this ride so fun, and let's get out of here. I'm suckers. I needed that. We all did.

If I felt more emotionally capable right now, I feel these things intellectually, but it's hard for me to feel these things right now. Thanks for listen to another Bad Magic Productions podcast, but I'm so happy. Be sure and rate, review time suck. If you haven't already, please don't slip Death Cat mushrooms into anyone's food,

unless they're real piece of shit, and they don't know that you made the meal, and you feel like you get away with it, but probably don't do that. And don't do Coke. And keep on sucking. At Magic Productions. I'm so glad right now

that I don't have more of this stuff. It is, don't do it. For real, don't do it. Like, do acid. Yeah, do acid. Do mushrooms. You still decide of mushrooms. You know, do fucking try Molly in a careful way,

but definitely test it for, what is it called, fentanyl? you know hydrated but you don't need to do cocaine I mean doesn't feel really good of course it does

that's why people do it but it's it is addictive and it doesn't last a long time and you just keep wanting to do more and more I'm glad I don't have more more with me right now nope I'd probably be a long time before I do it again

you shouldn't do it ever what am I even talking about but do I want more right now of course I do But I made sure I didn't have access to it for more of it right now. It's easy to see how people could be addicted to it, you know? But seriously, thank you guys so much for the ride. I have no idea how this episode turned out.

I do feel like at some points I was talking very fast, but maybe not. I don't know. I feel like my energy went up and down. I know I had trouble keeping my thoughts inside my head that I just wanted to share everything I was thinking with you and it was hard for me to focus. But I hope it was a good time. And that's it. and yeah, love you guys.