Timesuck with Dan Cummins - 56 - The Wonderland Murders (live performance in Hollywood!): Coke, Porn, and John Holmes

Episode Date: October 9, 2017

Four dead bodies were found on July 1, 1981, at 8763 Wonderland Avenue in the Laurel Canyon neighborhood of Los Angeles. It was the most gruesome LA murder scene since the Manson murders of 1969. Within days, America’s most famous porn star, John Holmes is suspected and brought in for questioning. Get ready for a tale of murder, coke, porn, more coke, a giant dick, and so much more coke, today, on Timesuck. Timesuck is brought to you today by Chubbies! Pre-ordered their new outerwear collection and look your best this Fall! Go to www.chubbies.com/timesuck to check out their awesome new collection. Timesuck is also brought to you today by the Dollar Shave Club. make the smarter choice and get the best shave of your life delivered right to your door. Get the first month of the Executive Razor and Dr. Carver's Shave Butter for only $5 with FREE shipping by going to www.dollarshaveclub.com/timesuck Merch - https://badmagicmerch.com/ Want to try out Discord!?! https://discord.gg/tqzH89v Want to join the Cult of the Curious private Facebook Group? Go directly to Facebook and search for "Cult of the Curious" in order to locate whatever current page hasn't been put in FB Jail :) For all merch related questions: https://badmagicmerch.com/pages/contact Donate to the Family Relief Fund for military veteran and victim of the Vegas shooter, Chris Roybal, by clicking here. Please rate and subscribe on iTunes and elsewhere and follow the suck on social media!! @timesuckpodcast on IG, @timesuckpodcast on Twitter, and www.facebook.com/timesuckpodcast

Hello, Time Sucker. You are about to listen to the first ever live recording of Time Suck. Recorded to Hollywood improv on October 5th, 2017, the field of the show, being a live show, it's going to be a little bit different than what you're used to, and while the audience was not mic'd as directly as I would have liked, you can hear them. And I will say, being there, the energy was fantastic. A lot of Time Suck shirts, a lot of just really cool people I talked to you out of the show. Following the top five takeaways, there will be a studio recording of this week's Time Sucker updates and a preview of next week's episode. Hope you enjoy this. I had a blast.

Now you guys ready for your show tonight? Yeah, please put your hands together for the host of time songs. Dad, come in! Hey, hey. Ah, Hill Nimrod! This is so weird. This is, I'm glad you guys showed up. This is different from me, for sure. You guys have listened to know that I've never done a live one. I'm very used to like being in a hotel room, staring at a couch cushion, which I

use to absorb sound on a road, like a maniac, or just in a basement, also like a maniac, recording it by myself. So today, I don't think I told you guys, it's the Wonderland Murrors. That's LA-based. So I thought, it'd be something fun. I like all the t-shirts, man, thank you guys. I feel a little weird wearing a shirt with a monogram of mouth and face, but fuck it. Might as well be proud of it. So I'll talk to you guys in a second. Here we'll do a little intro here to start.

July 1, 1981, LA detectives arrived at 8, 7, 6, 3, Wonderland Avenue in Laurel Canyon, here in LA, and they walked into what they described as the most gruesome crime scene they had seen since the La Bianca Tate, Manson Murders in 1969. And the bodies of four people, Ron Lannyus, Billy DeVarelle, Barbara Richardson, and Joy Miller had been found savagely, savagely bludgeoned to death with a metal pipe, a murder weapon that would never be found, but they knew based on the little striations that it was, in fact, a metal pipe,

and a fifth victim, Susan Lannyus, somehow survived, even though she was horrifically beaten. Within days, America's most famous porn star, John Holmes, suspected, brought in for questioning. Please believe the murders were retribution killing. For a recent heist, group of petty thieves and junkies who had called themselves the Wonderland gang had pulled off a few days earlier when the pretend to be San Francisco vice police.

I love the balls these guys had. They would just fake badges and they would just go rob other drug dealers and then just take their drugs and then snort and sell whatever they had. And they just fucked with the wrong guy. They went with the big fish, Eddie Nash, and then a couple of those later, like, you know, everybody at that house was found dead So it's a today is one of those kind of I think sucks where the the ride is maybe more fun than the destination We're gonna get pretty weird into the golden era of porn in the 70s a lot of a lot of dick talk today on the suck

So it's gonna be a tale of murder. It's gonna be Taylor Coke. It's gonna be a tale of a A lot of Coke, big dick. Mostly Coke, today is mostly about Coke. And this feels like the right place to do it. And the improv, I feel like a lot of Coke has been snorted here over the years. It's probably some Coke being snorted tonight. And let's get into it today on Time Stock. You're listening to Time Stock. today on TimeSuck. All the same. It's time. So. All right.

So thanks, guys. Yeah, thanks. Thanks so much for showing up. And you guys, you have a bonus one coming out tomorrow. You guys have not been fucking around on the reviews. I think I'm behind now, two bonus ones. I thought that would be like a slower crawl and I got a lot of research to do. It's been a fun ride this last year.

A lot of, I never thought I, I feel like a, I feel like a rain man of just weird fucking dark information. Like at any party, if someone is like talking about anything just creepy, I'm like, I have some things to add to that. I have too much information for that. So let's get into today's though. I'll say the announcement and stuff for kind of like for people listening right now to the live one at the end of the show because that would just be fucking boring to do here.

Tour dates and stuff that would just be weird. Like, hey, if you guys want to see me in Portland, you guys like, we're in fucking LA. We're not, we don't love you that much So let's get let's get into John Holmes man because the tail of the Wonderland murders It really starts with a tale of John Holmes aka Johnny what and by the way if you look at these notes man I don't know if you guys thought I was a brainiac who just had all of this shit in my head every week But not even close a lot of a lot of looking at a computer, especially because you guys know that if I fuck up anything at all, so many emails.

I now know that what is it? MLLE is mad about that. Yeah, I got a lot of corrections on that one. And it's Syka, it's Syka, I don't know, whatever that fucking ship was called last week. I got correct on that too. OK, but John Holmes, I know how to say that. So this is a guy who's still probably fairly known to middle-aged men who, I don't know,

still jerking it off to feathered bangs and unwaxed vaginas. He was a big deal. He was a big deal. And he was a big deal pretty much exclusively for just having a giant dick. It's no definite measurement of his dick exists. He died of AIDS in 1988 at the age of 43 and tragically no Guinness Book of World Records

officials were there to measure it, fully erect. No plaster mold was taken as porn stars I hear do now. It's estimated that John's penis was about half the size of Bojangles dick, which can be his fourth leg. Nobody else really info about this. I'm just gonna dump these. About this guy's dick. He claimed it, I'm so fascinated with this stuff because it was just, it's so enormous. He claimed that it was 16 inches long. 13 and a half is basically what, what everybody in the industry from the weird document, I was like, watched, said it was 13 and a half when erect and pretty thick, apparently as well.

Golden Age of porn actress, Seika, said it was like going down on a fire hydrant. So, so pretty, that's a quote, that's a quote. If you're really curious, just Google John Holmes, plenty of footage comes up. He put in a lot of hard work, a lot of long hours, pregnant slips and puns in here. And it's, okay, so here's some dick kind of,

to make it relative. I had to do some more research. According to a 2017 study, I love this, this was done by a British journal of urology international. The average length of the flaccid penis is 3.61 inches long, 5.16 inches when erect. So John was almost three times the size of a normal human dick. Which I feel like finding that guy for porn, it would be like

finding a nine foot center for a basketball team. Like it's just, he's a mutant, it's just like an unbelievable freak of nature. But I wondered like the age old question, like how do you measure your dick, right? Like, do you measure from the tip to the base? Do you measure from the tip to the butthole? Is my dad taught me? Do you measure from the tip to your friends butthole?

Is my friends dad taught me? None of that's true. None of that's true. I did learn, I did learn. You measure from the tip of your penis to where it connects with your pubic bone and apparently you're allowed to push in your fat. These are the scientists talking about this.

You're allowed to push in your fat. You don't get to include a foreskin. You don't get to stretch out your weird turtle weiner. If you're one of those people, it takes at an inch. That does not count according to the scientists. These same researchers surveyed a bunch of women and let them play with a bunch of different sized dick replicas. I'm not making any of this up.

And because they wanted to know, like, what was their preferred penis size? And apparently, for a one night stand or for a relationship, six inches long roughly, and five inches around, which seems pretty thick. Oh my God, is the correct response. Every guy in here just breathes a little easier when you said that. Like that seems a bit much.

And I don't know what's like funnier to imagine, just like these scientists doing this kind of research with a sense of humor. Or maybe I think it's funnier if there's no sense of humor about this whatsoever. Just completely sterile, just like a very cold environment just do you believe your penis is at maximum firmness? Would you like me to put my glove

hand at the base of your penis? Would it help to have another researcher rub the tip of your penis to reach maximum erection potential, just like very, very, very dry. Now, if there's any time suckers out there hearing this and they're kind of disappointed about the average length in the size, if you suffer from what scientists refer to as a teeny tiny weiner syndrome, aka, but seriously, where is the rest of it,itis?

Rest easy. There's a surgery. I didn't know this. You can increase your penis size. You can, you can, they say if it's under 1.6 inches Flaccid. I don't know how they came up with that exact of a fucking measurement. Like if there's a guy with 1.7, they're like, no, you're fine. You're totally the normal range. Less than three inches erect, you can have some options. You can have the ligament that attaches your penis to the pubic bone inside of your body loosened up to allow your penis to extend further out of your body.

That's known in my mind as the franken penis option. You can have liposuction done around the fat of the pubic bone. Please don't start my gut when I should have gestured. I feel like in my head, you're all saying like you could use a little of that And there's also there's also inflatable penis Penile prosthetics which are surgically inserted into the penis If you pay a little extra a little cuckoo bird comes that every time you come

That's not that part's not true but the rest of it is so a lot of bone surgeries out there But enough about Dixon General's talk about John Holmes. In the words of an industry insider writer Mike Sager regarding John's alter ego, Johnny Wad, he just said, quote, he wasn't that good looking, he wasn't that smart, he wasn't that brave, he just had a huge dick and you like to fuck. That was enough to get him famous. So let's learn about Johnny Holmes and kind of learn about the golden age of porn, which I didn't know. I'm like, why did people

care about this one guy? And there's some interesting kind of cultural stuff with the 70s and porn. It's very different than it is now. August 8th, 1944. John Curtis Estes was born in the small rural town of Asheville, Ohio, about 25 miles south of Columbus. He's the youngest of four kids born to Mary June Holmes, his biological father is thought to be Carl Estes, a railroad worker. The father's name was left blank on the birth certificate. Mary had been married to the father of her first three kids, Edgar Harvey Holmes. Edgar Harvey, that's a tough name. Prior to John's birth, and they would re-marry in 1945,

John would take the name Holmes, and they would divorce again in 1947. Edgar would no longer be in the picture. So whether his real dad was Carl or Edgar, either way, dad is not in the picture. Around 1947, Mary and the kids moved to Columbus and lived in a welfare project for a few years. And then Mary met Harold Bowman.

New Year's Eve, 1951, Mary and Harold got married. The family moves to Patiscala, Ohio, a little town of around 2000 people in the 50s and 60s when John would grow up and undoubtedly freak out other boys in locker room whenever he showered. In addition to being famous for John Holmes, Patiscala also has produced professional Boulder Robert Smith,

a man with seven career PBA titles. So they've kicked out a couple dudes who'd make a name for themselves being really good at knocking around some balls. I know that was corny. I know that was corny, but it was right there, a Boulder and a fucking porn guy in the same town. Yeah, no, you don't need to clap for that, that was fine. That was the eight-year-old in me. That seems fine. That was the eight-year-old in me.

That seemed young. That was the 11-year-old in me. And according to future wife's share, and Stepdad Herald was like a lifetime movie Stepdad. So not good. He's an abusive piece of shit. When Herald and Mary had their own kid, David Fures in the marriage, apparently,

he was down with a Stepkid. So John and other kids were just like second-class citizens. And pretty abusive. When John was 16, he threw him with the step kids. So John, other kids were just like second-class citizens. And pretty abusive. When John was 16, he threw him down the stairs. John had finally had enough, knocked his dad out. Then was worried about kind of like retribution, was worried about what he would do next time, told his mom if you don't sign me up for the army, I'm going to kill this guy. Mom signed him up for the army at 16, which I didn't, I don't know if that's a thing.

I didn't look up if that's a thing now. That's so weird to me that back then you could just go into the military at 16, which I didn't, I don't know if that's a thing. I didn't look up if that's a thing now. That's so weird to me that back then, you could just go into the military at 16 years old, but that's what he did. And so with the 1960, he goes after boot camp, goes to Nuremberg, Germany, where he was a member of the signal corps, also Marshall Applewhite from a few episodes ago, member of the signal corps, so fucking weirdos. There's probably like a bunch of listeners that are like, I'm a member of this signal core.

How dare you. So at the end of, so yeah, so 3 years late, 93 gets an honorable discharge. Goes back to Patiscala for a few weeks to spend a little time with his mom, strikes out for LA then on his own. And he actually had to flee local authorities after accidentally murdering a dude at the YMCA in the locker room when he turned too fast to his left, hit the guy in the temple with his dick and knocked him a fucking on the floor

and killed him immediately. Of course, of course that's not true. I love it. There's been a few of those times where I don't add the, of course, that's not true. And I've gotten people to be like, so do the dog really eat that kid? That's why I have to say it every time now, because I don't want someone to be a party, be like, did you know the John Holmes killed a guy in a YMCA locker room? A swear to God, I swear my mother's life. Okay, so 1964, it works a variety of odd jobs out here in L.A. He's a 20-year-old, no, he meets a 20-year-old ambulance driver. No, god damn it, he's a 20-year-old, he's 20 years old, you guys.

His name is John. I'm getting this back together. He meets a 21-year-old nurse Sharon Gabini and they move in together. Just a few months later, get married, August of 1965, just after he turns 21. And then the spring 1965, he has a job as like a forklift operator in a meat-packing plant. And which I think is kind of funny, that he's working at a meat-backing plant, and then he became the king of porn. A little bit of humor there for me. But he starts having health problems, which I guess kind of led to his career in porn

in a weird way. He got like three collapsed lungs in a period of six months because of the freezer, like the air temperature in this freezer, this meat-backing plant. So he's like recuperating, and he's playing poker in this, where was it? In Gardena and some of the like illegal poker house. And this is how it all starts. He just used in the bathroom. Some other guy in the bathroom who happened to also be an adult photographer, I guess just looked over at his dick and was like, I don't know how you like approach that. But he was like, hey, I think you could put that thing to work, you know, Earth.

But it led to him doing some adult photographs, some still photographs. And then, and if you look up stuff on him, he's a pathological liar, John Holmes. He will say he got into porn in some documentaries when he was a UCLA grad student. And some girl across the hall who he was having sex with was so impressed with his dick that she's like, you have to come into porn, not true at all. Basically almost everything the guy says in documentaries according to everyone else interviewed is just complete and utter lies.

Which again, I find weird. Like when you have the world's biggest dick, why are you continually exaggerating everything else? Like you've won the most biggest contest of life. You don't need to add other stories, but that's what he did. So shortly after this early photo shoot, Sharon, his new wife, Watson on John, and the bathroom measuring. I saw her numerous interviews say this.

He's measuring his rect penis in the bathroom. And I guess she's like, what are you doing? He's like, I know what I want to do with my life. Like, this is his moment of clarity when he's measuring his dick in a bathroom, and he's like, I got it. This is what I want to do. And he says he wants to go into porn,

which I think is a weird thing to tell your wife. And she's like magazines, movies, and apparently he was like both. And unbelievably, she didn't leave him. She thought it would be like a passing fat, and that eventually he would just get back to being, I don't know, a forklift guy and not be a porn guy. And I think that's so strange, but I also remember,

this is the late 60s, like around the summer of love. It's LA, free love, all these drugs. Like people are just like very forgiving socially. I don't think that would fly now. I don't think most marriages, if you were like, hey, baby, I know I was going to do accounting, but rather fuck strangers on camera. I doubt a lot of couples would be like, nah, man, just, you know, you follow your bliss, you follow your bliss. So that happens. And then around 1970, it's hard to nail down an exact time because not all early

kind of nude films had proper kind of credits. He got into actual film. And he got into loops, which I didn't know. Back then there was like peep shows. And guys, we put a couple quarters and some adult video store kind of peep show. And they would just watch a 10 minute loop with no noise of just, you know, whatever people have in sex.

And, but then in 1971, he got his big break, so to speak, in Johnny Wad, which would become his big name in porn. And I love the story of this. There's this guy Bob Chin who was an early porn director, who you can see on numerous documentaries, kind of talk about this. This is what he says happened, how he started his career, which I think is just fucking incredible. He walked onto this other shoot and introduced himself to Bob and says that he would like to get some work, you know, in the adult movies, and the guy's like, well, what can you do? And he's like, I can work as a gaffer. And Bob was like, nah, what? And I already have a gaffer.

So I'm good. And he was like, well, I can work as a grip. And he was like, ah, we already got a grip. And he's like, I can be an actor. And apparently, Bob said, what are your credentials? And legend has it, he just whipped his dick out and said, this is my credential. And Bob was very impressed, and his career was launched. And I think every guy, whether you want to do point or not, admires that in some weird way.

That you could get any job in that method, right? Or like a promotion or work. Just like, why do you think you deserve this promotion? Just zip, flop. I think you see why. I should deserve that promotion. Yeah, I can't argue with that. I can't argue with that. We're gonna give you a raise my friend. So impressive and a weird way. So they they and this is how sad like porn movies were like the production quality. They decide like kind of on the spot. They're like, okay, Bob and other producer like we can work with this guy. We can make we can make some movies with this guy.

Bob and Suther Producers were like, we can work with this guy. We can make some movies with this guy. And they come up with the name Johnny Wad because his other producer goes, man, look at the Wad and that guy. They take his first name. That's all the thought that went into it, Johnny Wad. And they put extra care into making this movie. They spent a couple hours riding it.

They rode it on the back of like an envelope. And then they shot it in a day. And then I guess like it raised standards. There was this other porn star in this documentary talking about how other movies after this were like, God, if we could just make a movie like Johnny Watt, like they really raised the bar. Like how fucking low was the bar?

Like what was it like before where it's like, man, we really, they went all out for Johnny Watt. I remember the good old days, man, we would just spend like so many seconds working on a movie. We'd, you know, we'd get it all ready for breakfast, we'd cast it, we'd ride it, we'd shoot it, we'd edit it, we'd be done before lunch, but then fucking Johnny Watt came along with a $750 budget. That was a total budget.

He got paid $75, which was a big money for that. And before we continue like with home, he's going to become very famous. I just didn't understand that because I'm like, how are people watching porn in the 70s where it's not like, you know, on a smartphone, you know, not that most guys are doing that a lot? Or their home computer whenever you're not home. I've heard that some of that goes on. But like, how are these guys watching me before VHS and everything? And I guess it was, you know, like, I did a

little like research into the history of porn in general. And it cracked me. It was way earlier than I thought. For some reason, I thought it came much, much later in film, but porn started being shot basically back when film started being shot, which goes back to the 1880s. The earliest surviving erotic film is a French film, a seven minute long strip tease called Le Coucher, Dela Marie, shot in 1896. The oldest surviving example of any motion picture is from 1888, called Round Hey Gardensine, just two seconds of Lady Walking from here to there. So they figured out, and I feel like it was just like, some dude is like, wait a minute, we can film a woman

and then watch it later in private. How quickly can we film her naked? Like it just had to have been a pretty fast process. So by 1910 and Austria, theaters would have stagnites kind of like men's only night at the films or the theaters. And actually in South America, like an Argent, and now I'm so confused on words,

Argentinia, that's a word, right? It's a country, right? Argentina, God damn it, thank you. See if I was it, if you guys weren't here, I'd be like, in, back in Argentina, I get a lot of emails, you fucking idiot. But there is this film called El Satario from 1907 where it showed people actually having sex.

That's the oldest film of people having sex. There was a blowjob, so pretty hot shit for 1907. Early German film from 1910 featured oral vaginal, even anal sex. The German's always fucking pushing the envelope of porn. Right? I don't think no for the shyest of films, like the shit films. No. 1920s silent film pornos were shown in brothels around America, which makes sense because early porn was illegal. It was like this weird, weird timing America from just basically like the early 20th century

all through kind of until the 80s, where the legality of porn was based on the county essentially it was shown. And sometimes it would be illegal but then also overlooked, like in Times Square that have peep shows, they could show nudity but they couldn't show vaginal penetration but they would and they just kind of like either bribe local cops a little bit or cops just didn't bother with it. But if you were like in Macon, Georgia, probably not gonna open up an adult film theater. Like if you were like Bible belt places,

they were way, way stricter on this kind of stuff. And yeah, and there was like various laws, and it was like an underground industry they called them stag films or blue films. And in the 40s and 50s, they would just get like passed around. It was essentially like you had to know a guy, which I think is so weird. Like basically how drugs are sold, like illegal drugs,

like you'd have like a coke guy, and a weed guy, and a naked lady guy. Which I don't know. Like I don't know how you find that guy, and you're a little telling like, hey, you, uh, uh. Hey, daddy, oh, uh. And the weed you gave me was out of sight, you know.

You know, it really razzed my berries if you got to make it ladies. Yeah. I don't know. That's all the link I can remember from a weird 50s website. Razz my berries. That's a real thing, people. You know, a cool cat who could rasp my pants. So in 1957, there was a landmark court case

at Roth versus United States, and it was a ruling that obscene material was not protected by the first amendment. So that kind of made obscenity and morality laws a lot stronger across the country. But then by the 1960s, there are like sex, toy, and linger and shop around the country. And then by 1970, there are around 750 adult theaters in the United

States showing porn, which again is so weird to me that you would just go to a theater to watch porn. Like that is the creepiest thing ever to me. There's one still operating in LA that I'll talk about later. We'll get into some yellow previews of the last existing. They're fucking great. But yeah, so just 1973, Miller versus California really opened up the legality of pornography

when Marvin Miller was convicted for mass mailing of sexually explicit advertisements for adult books and films yet for sale. His conviction was overturned. And then basically over that, porn was kind of tolerated across the country. And also in 1969, Andy Warhol, his movie, The Blue Movie. I don't know if any film kind of soars, know of that.

That was the first film in the US to contain an explicit sex scene and receive a widespread kind of mainstream theatrical release. And then in 1972, the film, Deepthroat, was released. And that was the first like, yeah, that was the first truly adult movie to get a wide release. So porn was cool then. So porn was making a mainstream move. During this kind of sexual revolution, which makes sense where

you know birth control is pretty easy to get for the first time. Abortions are pretty easy to get for the first time and most STDs can be knocked out with penicillin. So like it was the best time ever to fuck around. Like in the history of humanity, if you're like I want to be like just I want to fuck so many people. If you get a time machine, probably 65 74 is where you're going to want to go. All right, time suckers. Time for a quick word from today's awesome sponsor. Today's first ever live time suckers brought to you by chubby's never get tired of that fantastic name.

I love fall in Cordillet, Idaho. Now the leaves changing color, the cool, Chris Bear. Don't have to mow my lawn anymore. But here's something I don't love. Half into our pants outside again. Not getting to wear my Chubby's down to the lake. Luckily Chubby's has a new outerwear collection. That's right, Chubby's is no longer

fucking around with fall. They have pullovers, zip ups, vest that will keep you feeling warm and looking fresh. Everything in the collection is win resistant, made with a hundred percent woven nylon, super soft and functional, polar fleece. Some of the stuff is water resistant as well, and a lot of chubby jackets invest are also reversible, so you get all the warmth, double the style. I love the lumber from down under, outdoor, reversible classic red and black plaid fleece. The lamba from down under, cool twist on a black plaid fleece. The Lamba from down under.

Cool twist on a classic fleece man flip it inside out and it's a dope black and gray jacket. Really really cool looking. So get cozy with chubbies. Go to chubbies.com slash time suck today and sign up to get first dibs on chubbies, chubbies out of work collection. They're not even quite out yet. This is brand new shit. Get it before it sells out.ubby's outerwear collection. They're not even quite out yet. This is brand new shit. Get it before it sells out.

That's chubby's, c-h-u-b-b-i-e-s. dot com slash time suck. To experience chubby's outerwear chubby's dot com slash time suck. And now back to our live recording. So this is the world kind of John Holmes is living in 1971. He's in LA, second only to New York City in terms of kind of porn consumption. And he's the biggest dick in the industry and he kind of comes this underground sensation. So he gets known, he works, he works a lot, somehow he stays married. John and Sharon have the weirdest relationship to me where she doesn't leave him, but she

stops having sex with him, but they share the same bed still So like the hug kiss be affectionate just no sex But not get divorced and you know knowing that he's doing what he's doing She says this is the weirdest quote she goes I have no problem with your living with me But I don't want anything to do with you physically. I'll do your laundry. I'll be your mother, I'll be your confessor, I'll be your sister, I'll be your friend but I don't want to be physically associated with this. Okay. John had to have been like inside like, fucking sweet. Let me get this straight. You're gonna kind of pay the bills and do the laundry still but I'll just felt I can do whatever. Okay. I do find this lifestyle decisions like that,

fasting, I guess, whatever works for different people. It gets even weirder though, their relationship. In 1976, John and Sharon are living in an apartment complex in Glendale that Sharon is managing. And then 15-year-old, this is so creepy, but it is a different era. 15-year-old Don Schiller moves into one of these apartments

with her sister, brother, and dad, all having recently arrived from Florida After her parents divorced and John who's 31 at the time starts dating Don because he's a fucking scumbag Exactly gross is right. Yeah. Yeah, there's gonna be some more 70s context, which doesn't make it better But makes it more normal unfortunately for the time I guess things were so different back then I I just can understand like in that moment, like as Don's father, how do you not beat him to death? Like the most famous, you know who this guy is.

Like, and he's fucking your 15 year old daughter. How do you be like, I don't like it, but you know, whatever, it's the 70s. This doesn't make any sense to me. It's even creepier. Don's dad moves back to Florida. Sometimes he's there, 76 or 77. Don doesn't make any sense to me. It's even creepier. Don's dad moves back to Florida. Sometimes he's there, 76 or 77. Don doesn't move with him.

She moves in with Sharon and John, living in their two bedroom apartment. John and Sharon share the master bedroom. Don gets the guest room. John sleeps with Sharon, but fucks Don. That's the weird, very unique arrangement they have made. Sharon considers herself a mother to Don. Okay, that's a unique spin on Motherhood.

I'm just like your mom, Don. I'm just like your mom, who sometimes let you fuck out in the guest room. Like a cool mom. So weird. Things were so different back then, this disturbed me. In 1962, the American Law Institute recommended

that the legal age of consent be dropped in every state to age 10. Seriously, this is 1962. In fact, until the mid 1960s, the legal age of consent in Delaware was seven. Not kidding. Like a 50 year old man could legally have sexual intercourse with a seven year old in Delaware in 1949.

So insane and like, why that fucking age? Like how is it like, as a politician, you'd be like, six is fucking ridiculous. Eight? Creepy. So creepy. Okay, so also in 1976, here's where we start heading down the path to the Wonderland murders, John starts doing a lot of cocaine. If weed was kind of the drug of the choice for hippies in the in the 60s, Coke was definitely like the disco party drug of the 70s.

I don't know if you've ever done Coke, but I get it. I get why it's popular. I haven't done Coke a lot. I don't do it anymore. I've done it. I don't know, probably like five or ten times. And every time I was like, no, this is fucking great. This is absolutely the best. Like, whatever you're kind of into before, you're super into on Coke. Like if you think like ping pong is kind of fun, like normally get enough Coke and you're like, like, fucking ping pong is the best! How am I not playing ping pong all day every day?

So it's an exciting drug, but don't do it. But it's also really expensive. And the more you do, like the more you need to get the same kind of high and the high kind of depreciates. But don't do it. But it's also really expensive. And the more you do, the more you need to get the same kind of high and the high kind of depreciates. So John, while he is kind of famous, he's not making a lot of money. Like even if you're like the biggest porn actor in the 70,

you're still making like $1,000 a shoot. You're not doing more than a few shoots a week. And he's doing, they said like, someday is more than a thousand dollars worth of coke a day when he gets into like the height of his usage and so more than he can afford to buy so around this time uh John Holmes meets Palestinian immigrant and LA nightclub kingpin uh Adele Garib Nazarala better known as Eddie Nash now Eddie was a huge player in the uh you guys know uh Eddie Nash oh sorry that sorry, that was like a weird name.

Oh, a weird name to go through from John Helms. You're right. Right, yeah, you think like Eddie meets Frankie fucking Jing-Jong, right? I don't know who a nightclub guy would be. Frankie Necklace. But yeah, he meets Eddie Nash. And Eddie was like the godfather of the Hollywood nightclub

scene. He owned more clubs than anybody. He made a lot of money. He sold a lot of coke. Rumor would have ties with various kind of organized crime syndicates. He has a kind of interesting story. He arrived in like 1960 in LA, opened up just a hot dog stand, and then kind of through hook and a lot of crook,

he evolved that into a fucking empire by the 70s. Basically, he had 36 liquor licenses in Hollywood at the height of his kind of empire. So if you were out and you were partying in Hollywood in the 70s, you were putting money into Eddie Nash's pocket. And according to kind of a big LA nightclub 70s scenesters, like former Liberace Boyfriend Scott Thorsten, there was a party at Nash's house seven days a week, 24 hours a day.

And the way they talk about this is so foreign to me, because I grew up in the AIDS era, where it's like, you know, of like, you know, like the 80s and 90s, where it's like, an orgy, you're like, I'm not fucking my dick will explode. Like, there's no way. No, coke, I, no, my heart will explode. Like, there's just fear about all of this. They had none of this. Like, this house was just people fucking and doing coke and whatever like literally around the clock, just seven days a week, and that was kind of like Eddie's lifestyle.

And when he got really into doing blow himself in the 70s, he wasn't even really managing his clubs. He was just having a party at his house. And by 19, and he liked, oh, he meets John Holmes and he loves him, because he's like cool. He's like the underground porn king. So Eddie likes John because John has a big dick, essentially. And John likes Eddie because Eddie has a lot of coke.

So that's their kind of match. And then by 1979, John has gone from snorting Coke to free-base unit. Right, right, which is never like, that's a good decision. You never hear about somebody's like, you know, their life was going OK, but when they started free-basing coke, fucking up, up, up. Nothing but success after that. And I didn't really know what free-basing coke was before this. I thought it was the same thing as smoking crack. But little difference, I guess. Crack came a little

later in the early 80s, and crack is basically two thirds cocaine, and a third, like, baking soda and some water to crystallize it. Free-basing coke is actually worse in a way than smoking crack, because it's just like smoking pure coke. And he got really into it. So this is what John is doing now. And it starts affecting his career, where he, if you start enough coke and you don't have coke,

you can't get an erection. So, and I imagine imagine the bigger your dick is from what I've heard, if I only had a giant dick to know this for sure. But I guess I would imagine it would affect you sooner, because you got more blood flow to manage. So we can't get it up. And he wants to smoke coke and not go to work anyway. So we start to miss him shoots.

His low point came when they said that at one shoot, they couldn't find him when he was his scene. And they look around for him. Finally, like an hour later, they find him in a closet, just smoking or free-basing coke. Like he was carrying a briefcase of paraphernalia to free-based coke at that time. So he could just smoke it wherever he happened to be.

Like, that shows you how powerful cocaine is. We're like, you can get to a place when somebody's like, hey man, do you think we could pay you to fuck beautiful women? Uh, no. I would rather hide in a closet and just smoke some more coke if that's cool. Like, that's so insane. That is that powerful.

I feel like if, like, you see those corny bumper stickers, like I'd rather be fishing. Like you would just have a bumper sticker, like I'd rather be free-basin right now. Just more than anything. So now he starts to steal, as junk he's due, when they've reached his point. He steals from Sharon.

He has no income. He's not making money doing porn. So he's, he's, he's stealing. I can't believe Sharon doesn't leave him at this point. He steals from Sharon. He has no income. He's not making money doing porn. So he's, he's, he's, he's steel. I can't believe Sharon doesn't leave him at this point. He steals her jewelry. He starts selling things from around the house. He racks up $48,000 worth of credit card debt on their shared credit cards, which is fucking crazy

in the late 70s as well. I mean, to be crazy now, but even worse then. And still doesn't leave him. He starts just kind of stealing things around town. The craziest kind of theft he did, which I thought was just such a dick move, that was not a pun that I intended at all. That's just a word I use. After I said it, I'm like, yeah, everything was dick with his

emphasis. He would go to LAX or what, Burbank. And he would just go to baggage claim and just take a bunch of luggage and leave again. Like, he would just go to baggage claim and just take a bunch of luggage and leave again. Like, he would just steal this random bag of those baggage that showed up and then leave, and then take it to a pawn shop and sell it for more Coke money.

So if you've ever had baggage missing, well, probably someone sold it for Coke. That's what I had to do is from that. And he started hanging out in gay night clubs and Hollywood at this point, because he figured he could like, you know, lead gay man on, and because, you know, everybody had Coke at this point, because he figured he could lead gay men on. And because everybody had coke at that time, and he would just kind of let them think he was going to have sex with them

so that he would get coke. And then that goes to, he would actually just let them fuck him if they would give him coke. So he's really going kind of bottoming now. And he would think that sucking dick... Ha-ha! Another... He's a bottom. He's power bottoming now. And you would think that Succindick, he's a bottom, he's power bottoming now. I totally missed that one as well. So you would think that Succindick for Coke would be rock bottom. You'd be wrong. He does something even lower. He starts to pimp out his teenage

girlfriend. Like, as if just having sex with her wasn't immoral enough. Now he's pimping her and then he's mad at her for having sex with people. So now he's also beating her. So he's really kind of like patting his, you know, shit head to Hall of Fame resume at this point. And at one point, apparently, he even sold her to Eddie Nash. For Coke and Eddie Nash was a supreme degenerate. The worst thing I read about him,

I hope this isn't true, but I feel like it was. And this is gonna be really gross, but I feel compelled to say it because that's what I feel like time suckers just know holds barred. He would, in his bathroom, he would not have toilet paper for his personal bathroom. And he would just take a shit

And then he would let young women lick his butt clean for coke If you need a second to throw up in your mouth, that's fine Oh my god is correct Yeah, so that's who Eddie Nash is and that's who John Holmes is he's selling his his teenage to this girl So it just gets worse and worse. And then so basically with Eddie Nash, he's gotten to this place though where Eddie Nash isn't just giving him Coke for free. It's like his buddy, but he sells Coke.

He gets into debt and eventually Eddie cuts him off. So now he needs to find a new Coke dealer. That's where Wonderland comes in. This house, 8762, Wonderland Avenue, when he got cut off from Eddie Nash, like sometime in late 1980, he finds this house, he hears about it Wonderland Avenue, when he got cut off from Eddie Nash, like sometime in late 1980. He finds this house, he hears about it through kind of the junkie scene.

It's this house, it's owned by 43 little Joy Miller, who's an affluent ex-wife of Beverly Hills Attorney who'd recently become a heroin addict. And she just has this kind of party house in Laurel Canyon for heroin junkies and co-addics. And kind of like petty criminals. And also living there is her boyfriend, 43 year old Billy Deverell, a crane operator, small-time thief. Also living there is David Lynn, 42-year-old career criminal, 36-year-old

co-dealer Ron Lannius, and 32-year-old petty thief Tracy McCourt. Ron Lannius was a Vietnam Air Force vet who'd been dishonibly discharged and convicted of smuggling heroin from Vietnam back to the US and the corpses of American soldiers. So, yeah, fucking shady dude. Dirty dude. Yeah. David Lind is a biker member of the Aryan Brotherhood, who by 1901 had been incarcerated several times for arm burglary, forgery, assault, and rape. So, real-class acts hanging out at Wonderland. Very rough crowd, and by 1901's once homes this kind of mixed up with them.

And he kind of has a similar but sad relationship with them that he did with Eddie Nash. Eddie Nash thought he was cool, and he liked the novelty of this porn star. These guys liked the novelty of a porn star, but they didn't think he was cool. His career had already fallen apart by this point. And they would basically just make fun of him

in front of other party goers. He was just like a carnival freak act to them. Like they would just like demand that he take his dick out and show to other party goers when he didn't want to. Like they would like to mean him. Things were very low for his life. Not like he's a good dude anyway, but things were very low for him. And he gets into kind of trouble with them as well. Like he's buying coke initially, then he gets into kind of debt with them, then they cut him off. So he has like nowhere to go. So then he hears that these guys, they're doing various crimes around town.

They've stolen these random antique guns, and they're having a hard time selling them because it's an easily traceable item. Well, he knows that Eddie Nash likes to collect odd things and has more kind of criminal kind of dealings in these guys, and he's like, hey, all these guns sold into Eddie Nash in exchange for being back in your good graces so I can get more coke.

Like literally everything in his life is about just coke at this point. And so let's get, okay, I guess I didn't really announce where Timeline, we're going to get out of this timeline for the people listening at home and get into this stuff in more detail now. Good job, soldier. You've made it back. Barely. I'm not a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy.

I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy.

I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy.

I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. Dr. Carver's Shave Butter, so glad I made the smarter choice and switched over from whatever janky grocery store bullshit I was using before. I have a big bottle of Dr. Carver's Shave Butter at home. In a travel-sized bottle, I take on the road. And I have two executive handles, and I get four stainless steel, six blade cartridges,

shipped to my home every month automatically. Because if I had to remember to buy something every month, it just wouldn't happen. I know that about myself. I love not having to think about getting awesomeness just shift to my door. Smooth as shave my life and my wife now will only use my razors to shave her face as well. Oh it's so nice. Before Dollar Shave Club she had a beard thick enough to make Zach Galafanakis jealous. She had like I would say it was like a zizi top type of look she was rocking for when I met her. Uh, no, of course not. She uses it on her on her legs and she uses it on our armpits and she loves it. And I use it on my armpits as

well because that's how he likes it. I love, I love myself a smooth pit. And that's what I get with the Dollar Shave Club. So switch over. Make the smarter choice. Go to DollarShaveClub.com. Get a great shave. At a great price. Conveniently deliver right to your door, don't buy cheap disposable razor, give yourself a cheap shave, right? Life is too short for razor burn. Use Dr. Carver's Shave Butter and get a precise shave that helps prevent ingrown hairs and fights razor bumps. For a limited time, new members get their first month of the executive razor with a tube

of their Dr. Carver's Shave Butter from only $5, with free shipping. After that, raise it just a few bucks a month. That's a $15 value for $5. In your first month's box, you get an awesome, weighty handle. I can attest to that. It's fantastic. A full cassette of four cartridges

and a tube of their shave butter. And after your first month's replacement cartridges ship automatically at their regular price. No hidden fees, no commitments, cancel any time you like. You can get this offer exclusively at dollarshaveclub.com slash time suck. That's dollarshaveclub.com slash time suck.

And now back to the Hollywood improv. So it's 19-1. John Holmes, once America's most famous porn star, has had his career drilled by Coke. He's stolen from his estranged wife to my Coke, stolen from other porn stars. He did that as well. Like when they weren't home, he would know they weren't home, he would go and just take everything that wasn't nailed down. He's pimped himself out for Coke, he's pimped out and beaten his teenage mistress.

He's stealing luggage from the airport, he's just a fucking dirt back. He's been cut off from numerous Coke dealers. He's still friendly with Eddie Nash. Eddie Nash has a lot of Coke and a lot of money. He has neither. And so, you know, he comes up with the worst idea of his life to kind of involve the Wonderland gang in the situation with Eddie Nash.

And basically what he does with the gun thing, the anti-gun thing is when he went to Eddie Nash to sell the anti-guns, Eddie Nash just took them and didn't give him any money because he was in debt to him for previous kind of coke debts. So now he's fucked over with the Wonderland guys. Now he's taken their guns, given it to a guy who's not giving him coke, and now he owes those guys even more. So I'm not like, these guys kind of want to kill him. Eddie Nash doesn't really want anything to do with him. And so he's desperate for Coke. And this worst idea is he knows that Eddie has a lot of money. And he knows that these guys are criminals. And some of the things they

had done previously is do this some fake stings. We'll have like a fake police badge. And like I said, earlier, they'll go bust some other co-tealer. So he's like, well, this is the biggest bust. So he tells them that he'll go to Eddie Nash's house and he'll leave like a door kind of unlocked. And then he'll go back to the Wonderland house, let them know they'll show up, pretend to be fake police officers, they'll take, you know, he knows what the safe is. And apparently there's like a million dollars roughly, worth of coke and money and jewels and the antique guns

and all this kind of stuff with his house. Well, it works initially. Like, he does that. He parties with Eddie Nash. He goes back to the Wonderland House. He tells them, and this is now on June 28, 1981, is when he goes to Eddie Nash's house. He goes back the next morning, the morning to June 29, about 8 a.m. the guys finally leave for Nash's house.

Ten minutes later, the robbing Nash had a huge bodyguard, this like 300 pound martial artist, this Gregory Diles. They tie both of those guys up. There's a surprise by it. Take all the stuff and then go back to Wonderland. And now they're just celebrating. And apparently, they were being very stupid. They were just telling everybody who would listen

about this amazing, like, blessed they just got. So word gets back to Eddie Nash. He somehow puts it together that John Holmes might have had something to do with this, and he goes after John Holmes. And now there's kind of two different stories. At this, some think that John Holmes was pissed off at the Wonderland guys, because when he went back after that, when the guys brought back all the money,

he thought he was going to get cut of that. They didn't give him a cut of that They were pissed about the antique guns from earlier so now they consider themselves even and they just gave him like a bag of Coke and thought We're good. He thought he would get more money So now he's pissed at them So some people think that he went back to Eddie Nash and kind of ratted these guys out because he was pissed They made fun of him and he was pissed that they you know didn't give him more money, which I don't know how you Sell that like hey

I know I told these guys to rob you But they were supposed to give me a lot of money for it and you're a businessman and you get that I personally believe that The more likely version of the story where Eddie Nash finds out through his little fucking connections that John Holmes has something to do with it They go pick John up. They bring John story where Eddie Nash finds out through his little fucking connections that John Holmes has something to do with it. They go pick John up, they bring John to his house and basically beat him until he tells them where the Wonderland people are. And then, none of this was proven in court totally, but what everybody thinks happened is

John Holmes goes back, leads these guys to the Wonderland house, because he knows like little gate code, he can buzz them in, like, hey guys, it's John let me in, he lets these guys in, and then they just fucking leads these guys to the Wonderland House, you know, because he knows, like, little gate code, he can buzz a man, like, hey guys, it's John Let Me In, he lets these guys in, and then they just fucking beat these people to death with a lead pipe. And if you're very dark and curious, you can watch the crime scene footage on YouTube. I don't really recommend it. Pretty disturbing, but it was like the first crime scene ever recorded with video,

and so you just see, it doesn't look real. It's like, these guys were not fucking around. Like, they were taking home run swings on these people's skulls. Like, they were just caved in. I don't know a lot. I don't have a lot to compare that to. It's not like, you know, usually when someone beats

somebody with a head with a lead pipe, it's like, it's more of like a dent. Like, suddenly, that's a weird area I'm an expert in, but it looked excessive. And so and what's crazy about the crime also is no one they heard the screams the neighbors heard the screams but no one called the police for like 12 hours when a mover next door finally heard moaning and they didn't call the police because these people were partying all the time and they were just like used to people screaming over there.

And then I know this is, it's dark, but it was very funny to me. They also didn't call the police because some of the neighbors believed that what was going on there was primal scream therapy. I don't know, you heard of this. Primal scream therapy, I'll describe what it is here. It is actually incidentally Arthur Janov, the psychologist who invented primal scrim therapy, just passed away this past Monday, October 2nd, 93 years old. And it involved having people really

of their early traumatic memories by regressing to infancy early childhood in order to confront and exercise demons, they would go to this guy's therapy place and go to like a crib, like a crib for an adult, and they would wear little kid clothes, and they would just think about childhood stuff and scream really loud. And he made thousands of dollars doing that, and he's probably gonna have the loudest funeral of all time here in a couple days.

It's fucking insane. He was an utter lunatic. But that's that is so like fucked up, but also like, I don't know if it's funny. There's something dark to be funny about the people. It's people like, they're screaming for their lives and people like, ah, they're just working some shit out. L.A. was so weird in the, yeah, still is, but in the early 80s, especially so. So then, so after all this happens, you would think that John and Eddie and everybody were brought to trial and found guilty, right? But no, no, they were not.

John was arrested shortly after the killings. Wonderland gang member David Lynn was not one of the people in the home. He knew that John Holmes was the guy who told him to go to the NASH. He told the police that police arrest John Holmes. And John initially wanted to do a plea bargain. He wanted it immunity, and he wanted him, Sharon, and Don, to go live together and witness protection, because he's a maniac. And Sharon, to her credit, was like, fuck that.

No, that's too much, that's finally too much. And so she wouldn't do that, he was worried about her being killed, so then he rejects the plea deal, and then he just takes off, he takes Dawn, and they go to Florida, and they just hide out. Now, as he leaves, a murder warrant is put out for John's arrest. He goes to Florida where he pimpsed on out again for Coke, because that's what he does. Finally, Don gets a strength to run away from him and leave,

calls the police, tells him what hotel or motel John is staying at, has him arrested, he's brought back to LA, he's put on trial, and the case against him was built largely on two pieces of evidence. It was admission that Holmes allegedly made to LA Police Detective Frank Tomlinson after his arrest in Miami in December 1901 and a bloody palm print left by Holmes on the rail of the bed of one of the victims Ron Lannyus, the one who had made fun of him, where it looked like somebody was grabbing it possibly for leverage while swinging a pipe. Like it looked pretty bad. But he is found not guilty of the crimes,

because there's no, I guess, essentially, no eyewitnesses. No one is actually there to come to the court and say, I saw him do it for sure. And he claimed, yeah, maybe I was there. He actually never testified during his own trial, but previously like, yes, but I didn't have anything to do with it. And he kind of said two things.

He would say either he was there and had nothing to do with it or that he'd let them in but then left. And that does not kind of hold up because then later, and I don't know why this wasn't admissible in court, but Sharon, his wife said that the morning after it happened, John showed up at her place covered in blood. Like completely covered in blood. She gave him a bath, like changes clothes,

and he... Because she's a mom. She's a mom, she's a mom, be a mom. Mom taking care of her weird husband's son. She could clean him up, she could do laundry, like a good person. No, but she, I guess you know, like cleaned him up, and then he just told her flat out that he is like, he's like, I saw four people kill killed tonight. And somehow that doesn't get him convicted of anything. And he also, when he went to Don later that day, his other weird wife situation, he told her that he'd also witnessed the murders and again, nothing happens to him.

So he gets off when the trial is over and he wants to start a new life with Sharon. She doesn't want it to her credit. Don has literally left the country during the trial. She's went to Thailand. She lived in there with her dad who is now running a hotel there. And John goes back into porn, because that's what you do.

And now he's making $300 instead of $1,000. The golden era is gone. And his first shoot, he makes Lori Rose, aka Misty Dawn. A woman known as the Butt Queen. That was her title. Which I imagine would be a point of pride within the industry, like how you rationalize things. Like if you're gonna do it, like you don't wanna be like the butt,

like I don't know, bronze medalist or whatever. Like you're gonna be the top, so she was really into that. And, look, so they fall fallen love or lust or something, they get married. John's own to drugs at this point. Coke and now value him. He literally, I guess a week after they were married, just was surprised that they were married. That's what another friend said. Like, he saw pictures and he's like, what? We went to Vegas. We got married. He had no idea, apparently. And then instead of going on a honeymoon,

John decides to get AIDS instead. That was a weird choice that he made. Yeah, which I'm not surprised with all the things he's doing, like if anyone, and after everything, it's kind of hard to feel banned. He's such a fucking degenerate. Not that you wish that, but it's like, well, yeah. If you're fucking doing like, blow constantly

and just putting your dick anywhere someone will give you cocaine for it, probably think it AIDS in the early mid 80s. And so he was such a piece of shit. He gets banned from doing porn in the US, but in Europe they don't know. So he goes to Europe knowing he has AIDS and films more porn.

And if your fetish is watching porn with people who definitely have AIDS, You can find the videos. I hope that's the right thing. That'll be so weird. A one-per-hose like, fuck yeah! And then just got real quiet. But that is, there's Cisa Lina. Cisa Cisallonia, it's C-I-C-I-L-O-I-N-A.

Famous Italian porn star, Fnade, is Cifelmo with her. No, luckily she didn't get it. So that part's good. He died of a cardiac arrest related to AIDS at the age of 43, back in LA March 13, 1988. What happened to the rest of the people? Nash was investigated for the murders as well.

A little bit later, police initially couldn't pin a murder charge on him, but they found a lot of Coke in his home. And so they got him on some drug charges, sentenced him to eight years. According to Feds later, he brribed a judge with 100 grand. Got a sentence right in his two years. So he was pretty slick. And this is even Slicker.

In 1990, he was charged with conspiring to have the Wonderland murders committed. A jury deadlocked 11 to 1 in favor of him being guilty. The one person that said no, they found out later he gave her money as well. Like for sure, bribe her. God out of it, they did a new trial. They found him not guilty.

So apparently he bribed additional people. And then finally in 1999, he's charged with racketeering for various gang activity. And the Wonderland killings are again somehow added to his indictment in some way. He makes a plea deal and he gets two years. So he got two years when he's elderly anyway for having four people beat to death with a pipe. So I guess if you have money, you can do some shit. And this motherfucker is still alive

in the LA area today. He's 88 years old and living somewhere in suburban LA. I couldn't find exactly where, but apparently, you know, he's still, I don't know, probably has a nurse, he has a strange deal with to clean his bottom. And, you know, and that's that he gnashed. That just gnashed me a gnashed, guys. That's classic Eddie, you know.

That's a gnashed his bodyguard Gregory Diles, who is likely directly involved in the One-O-Line Killings. He died in 1995 of liver failure, Sharon remained in the LA area, continuing to work as a pediatric nurse. So that was cool. Never remarrying, she died in Haynes, California by Ventura, October 28, 2012, the age of 69. When she died, apparently, Homeskeleton crawled out just for a second to go, 69. And then just went back. That's what he would do. Then there's the two Wonderland gang members who helped Rob Nash, but weren't killed, David Lind,

Tracy McCourt. David Lind testified at Home's trial. It was put into the witness protection program. He was afraid of retribution from Nash. And he reportedly died of a heroin overdose in the Bay Area in 95. And then the other guy went to Colorado, was apparently in the Colorado prison system for most of the rest of his life dying of unknown causes in 2006.

What about teenage mistress Dawn? Afraid for her life in the US during home's trial, you know, she went up to Thailand like we said, struggle with post-traumatic stress, disorder, severe depression, but managed to earn a degree in gemology, which is, a weird degree but a degree nonetheless she got at the Asian Institute of Gemological Sciences which sounds like a place I would just like to hang out at for a day just take it all in she returns to LA in 1988 two weeks before Johnson comes to AIDS. It doesn't visit him, but I guess it's closure in a weird way.

She reunited with Sharon, remained close with Sharon. Her weird kind of mom, sister, I don't know. I guess they both, you know, had survived John Hums. And she worked in a legal profession in downtown LA for five years, paralegal and local county librarian for another four. Leaves California, goes to the Pacific Northwest, attends Eastern Oregon University, earns an undergraduate degree in communication

and gender studies in 2012, graduates summa cum laude, fucking awesome. Yeah, like fucking good for her, right? It gets even better. She gets a full tuition teaching fellowship and taught women studies in activism in Oregon State University, where she completed her Master of Arts in Women Studies in 2016, founded a nonprofit organization called esteem, empowering successful teens through education,

awareness, and mentoring. An organization dedicated to assisting teens who are struggling to find a safe and successful path to adulthood. She also developed mirrors of me, girls art, writing, and mentoring camp. For at-risk and marginalized youth, and she has a beautiful daughter, she has kept far away from the childhood she had. So fucking good for Dawn. She published a book about her early life called The Road Through Wonderland, Surviving

John Holmes. You can get the 2010 edition on Amazon with a forward by Val Kilmer, who played John Holmes in the 2003 movie Wonderland, which isn't bad. I watched it for this episode, it's all right. It's no fucking tombstone. It's no dark holiday, but, you know, well, not everyone is impressed with Don's life accomplishments,

rather than see her life as an example of overcoming an extreme amount of early adversity and then doing something extraordinary they choose to be idiots of the internet. So this is unbelievable. Yeah, these are just some extreme low-lifes. This is unbelievable to me. After I watched a video about the life of John Holmes, called it was like the YouTube,

like the e true Hollywood story, YouTube video. And user Crimson Rush, after watching this, says, Don has to be the stupidest woman in the history of humanity. Again, before I go further, just to remind, 15, 15, when it started, did she make good choices? No, at that point, who does it? 15, right? Like was she a 15-year-old who parents obviously were not at the top of their parenting game? Let her live with America's most famous porn star. Yes, she was that user

YouTube user Jamie van Kirk tries to chime in with some reason which never works in these threats He says read her book. She was just a kid when her dad basically just gave her into his care. He took advantage of her for sure. Someone said on the Wonderland murder website that you can read online for free now. Check it out if you haven't already. Good read. Right. That's a nice thing to come back with. Not to mean. Well, then a soulless fucking shit dumpster of a human. Lin Percell, this fucking piece of shit, chimes in with Jamie Van Kirk. Why would I waste any time reading her book?

He took advantage of her, come on now. She willingly stayed with a co-kid, abusive, piece of shit. This is the kicker. She's as disgusting as he was. Are you fucking crazy? As disgusting as he was, oh my God. Okay. On one side, let's think about this argument. On one side, you have a coked up manipulative porn star in his

30s who were less than 15 year old and then proceeds to introduce her to coke, pimps her out, beats her on a regular basis, a guy who helped four people get murdered if you didn't help murder themselves, a guy who willingly risk other people for AIDS, that's one side of the equally disgusting arguments. And the other side is you have Don, which you said, who overcame all of this abuse to go fucking create like mentoring camps, to go like get her like fucking masters and all this shit. Like, which are those people who are more disgusting?

Like in a moment like that with Lynn, I have the worst thoughts when I think of something. Like there's a dark part of me that when I read that, I wanted a pimp to find Lynn, Purcell. And I wanted him to beat the shit out of her and put her on the streets for like a couple of years and get her addicted to Coke and like more beating, more pimping, and then I wanted her to be brought to me and I wanted to ask her,

so who do you think is more disgusting right now? The Pimp or you? Like who, who, which side of the, is, are you as equally disgusting as the Pimp or just me? Or maybe more disgusting, like I just don't fucking understand where people come up with these kind of judgments. So Lynn Purcell gets James, the sky Jamie vanker tries to reason again with her. He says, Lynn Purcell, you don't have to read the book, but it was good. Her dad left her with him. She was homeless and she was under 18.

I think 14 of the time she met him. She may have been, which she met him. He was in his 30s, so yes, he took advantage 100%. Lynn Purcell's still not having it. She says, you don't have to be 21 to realize that when a man is beating the shit out of you on and off, you should leave. But no, stay and then try to be 21 to realize that when a man is beating the shit out of you on an off you should leave, but no. Stay and then try to profit from writing a book. I disagree with your logic.

Like, I fucking love this kind of stupidity where like this person is thinking like, like as if Dawn was 16, sucking a stranger's dick because she got pimped out by her abusive boyfriend and she, in her back her mind, she's like, this is terrible now, but I'm in my 40s. I'm gonna make so much fucking book money that this will all be worth it. Like it's such a ridiculous idea. So fuck you Lynn Purcell. User Stark Want says something that I would like to say at this point, he says, no more stupid than you were at 15

You judge mental creep. This is to Lynn. She wasn't a woman. She was a child just as you are now Exactly and then another user shows themselves to even be more hateful than Lynn user redrum types. She was a junky bitch and God what she deserved Who the fuck like who are why why is there just like so much just fucking so much evil? I Like who are you? Why? Why is there just like so much just fucking so much evil? I Could I try to find these people whenever I look this stuff up I always click on their user names and I want to find out if I can link to their like selfie videos to get more info I wasn't able to find Lynn. I wasn't able to find Redrum

But I was able to find Crimson Rush the initial guy and I just want to share this in my own spiteful way because if anyone happens And like this fucking he's exactly what I pictured want to share this in my own spiteful way, because if anyone happens to, like, this fucking, he's exactly what I pictured him to be. He's, and I say unmarried, I just didn't see the ring. He's unmarried, like, unattractive, creepy looking, 60-ish, bald, white dude, who posts videos of himself playing cover songs on his guitar, and he's always alone. That's the guy judging this 15-year-old girl. I'm like, a fucking, of course, you are.

I just think, I always have an especially, like, a different level of hate for elderly, hateful people. Like, I figure you get a pass when you're 15 for being a troll. But if you're like 65 and you're trolling YouTube, just fucking grab a hammer and hit yourself in the face as hard as you can. Like, there's no reason for you to be around anymore. So keep on fighting the good fight, Don, ignore these idiots of the internet. It is the Internet.

Okay, so I guess like conclusions on this kind of episode. I think what we learned is like through Don is like you can overcome so much, like I'm always amazed by the human spirit in kind of cases like that, where it's like, you know, we all have a rough days and everything, but I doubt statistically anyone in this room had a three-year stretch

as rough as Don's, and she just like overcame that to do so much, so that's cool. I think the other lesson is, easy on the Coke. I think easy on the Coke, right? Maybe no on the Coke, maybe not at all on the Coke. And before we leave the improv tonight, let's take five more looks back at today's tale

with some top five takeaways. Time, shock, tough, five, take away. Number one, the average penis length is just over five inches long. To be clear, erect. John Holmes had eight and a half more inches than that. A ruler was not big enough to measure his dick. I just, I can't even fathom that. Okay, number two, the Wonderland murders occurred in 1981, and we still don't know who beat those people to death,

for sure, with a lead pipe. However, we do know for sure that in 1981, Michael Motherfuckin, McDonald, triple him, was busy writing songs for his debut solo album if that's what it takes. Feature in the unforgettable hit, I keep forgetting, not in love anymore.

I keep forgetting, things will never be the same. Oh, okay. Some people are gonna be so fucking pissed off right now, listening. I would say for every eight people who are like, that's funny, there's two people like, dude, it's been a fucking old joke for six months now. Please stop it. Okay, number three, a lot of people watch porn and actual theaters

in the 1970s, how weird is that? And why does anyone still do it? There is still one in LA, at least one that shows straight porn and gay porn. It's a teaky theater. I don't know if you've seen that, it's on Santa Monica and just off of the intersection of Santa Monica and Western. It has some of the best yelp reviews I have ever read in my life. It's so great. It has a three-star yelp rating. Based on 12 yelp reviews, user D.D. gave it one star in 2015. She said, I'll make this short. $14 to get in for a four-hour limit. Two pornoes playing at the same time.

One on a huge projector screen, the other on a television, very dark, and dingy, and nut loads all over the seats. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Do not sit down, my friend made me and I felt really palsy. Go with your own risk. I love that her friend made her sit down. I just picked this weird scene, but there's not loads all over the seats. Sit down, DD! Sit down to the no load! Now you use her Jenny gave it five stars.

My favorite thing I've read it a while. She gave it five stars in 2014. I swear to God, this is a direct quote. You can look it up right now and you'll. She says, I had a good, I had a good old time here. Although it was mostly gay men cruising for guys, I was able to find enough buy or straight guys who enjoyed watching the straight porn flick I had a good, I had a good old time here. Although it was mostly gay men cruising for guys, I was able to find enough bi or straight guys

who enjoyed watching the straight porn flick that was playing, well, I played with myself and a few of them. Good times, X-Comection Point. Ah, good for you, Jan. What a good time, Gell. What a good time, Gell. I love that you would just go jerk off a bunch of dudes

and put them on theater and then be like, you know what? I gotta put this on Yelp. I gotta let people know. Number four, don't steal from Eddie Nash unless you don't mind the possibility of getting your skull caved in by Metal Pipe. Maybe 88 now, but I'm guessing he still doesn't fucking play around. Because the Wonderland killings were just a few of the killings he was suspected of ordering during the course of his life. And number five, new info, LAPD Detective

Tom Lang was the lead detective on the Wonderland killings, and if you recognize that name, he was also the lead detective on the O.J. Simpson murder trial. So he's either the unluckiest or the fucking worst detective in the history of the LFD. Two obvious fucking crimes. He's like, ah, I think. I don't know. Time, Chuck, tough, five, take away. So that's it.

I hope you guys had fun. I hope you guys had so much fun. Yeah, thank you guys so much for making this a fun show to do. I'll be up tonight for a long time, getting tomorrow's suck ready the bonus one. And so please just keep telling your friends, I hope you can do more live shows. And let's end this on two things. Let's do a Hail Nimrod, one, two, three. Hail Nimrod!

And let's end on the other words, we end every show with one, two, three, Keep On, Suckin! Thank you guys very much! All right, time suckers, I hope you enjoyed that. That was the live show. You know, I'm not sure if I made some mistakes on there. You know, I had my notes with me, as I always do, but I wasn't looking at them as much as I do when I record privately because there's an audience there. So I felt like I remember the show well enough to keep the facts straight in my head.

I hope you agreed. And if I didn't, I'm sure I'll hear about it. Quick note to be clear, I don't want Lynn Purcell to actually be Pempton Beeden. I only said that to illustrate that if, what happened to Don happened to her, I seriously doubt she would be so judgemental, judgmental of a 15 year old victim. Show was a blast. I really hope we can keep spreading the suck so that in 2018 I can do a proper tour of Time Suck

in addition to continuing to tour doing stand-up. All right, a couple things. Speaking of touring, actually, I will be in Portland, Oregon at the Helium Comedy Club this weekend. Come on, Portland. Always had a fun time there. Let's do it. October 12 through 14th. Also this weekend, I'll be at Parler Live in Bellevue, Washington one night only on October

15th. And that'll be a bananas comedy club in Hasbroke Heights, New Jersey, October 20th and 21st. Funny bone and Dayton, Ohio, November 2nd through the 5th. The Spokane comedy club in Spokane, Washington, right where it all started forming November 9th through the 11th. And I'll get the dates up for December and early 2018 added soon. You know, Grand Rapids, Michigan, St. Louis, Missouri, a bunch of other places coming up.

Be all over the place. Check the episode description for Times and take it links. Now, next week on Time Suck, we are going to go dark. I was gonna go in a different direction. I didn't wanna say it was, and I want people to be disappointed that they didn't get that if they wanted it next week. I just came across a dude I'd never heard of before

through a Time Suck suggestion, and he is fascinating in a horrific way. He's a monster. He's a fucking monster. Andrei Chikotilo, the butcher of Rostov, the red ripper, a Russian psychopath. I had never heard of who haunted the streets of the Soviet Union for 12 years. Between 1978 and 1990, he was a teacher. He was a married father of two and he would be charged with 53 horrific murders. And he looks like the kind of guy who killed over 50 people. Looks like a demon. This is no Ted Bundy, you know, manipulating people with his charm and good looks.

This guy looks exactly like the kind of guy who would kill a bunch of people. And he just, he's a fucking demon who was in the flesh. He was executed, thank God. If you're anti-capital punishment just in general, listen to this guy's story. Might change your mind. Might change your mind. Been a minute since we did a serial killer

and my morbid fascination with these pieces of shit just needed to fix. And so on Monday, it's gonna get one. Special thanks to Errol at the Improv in Hollywood for recording this week's live show. Thanks to Time Sucker Tim Wilson for suggesting today's topic. I know a few other time suckers did as well. Email topic choices into bow jangles at timesockpodcast.com.

If you don't mind, it's the best way to ensure getting credit. Sometimes in the chaos of keeping the show moving right now, a social media topic suggestions get lost in the shuffle. Big thanks to Time Sucker Superstar, Sydney Shives for keeping track of all the email topics. And another big thanks to Time Sucker and editor, Jesse Dobner. I said, Dobner, it is Dobner for cleaning up this week's show before I perform it. Big help. And thanks to all of you who followed the show on social media at Time Suck Podcast on

Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook, social media. It has an awesome new look right now. Thanks to Danger Brain, Sebastian, at Danger Brain, he's creative mastermind, and I love the evolution of the logo. Hopefully you'll notice that right now, you'll see it in your podcast feed. That is Sebastian's work. The previous two logos,

still a part of the TimeSug logo family forever. Still gonna do, you know, merge at some points with those versions as well. It's just fun to have an awesome new look. I've been a fan of Danger Brain long before. I ever even thought about doing Time Suck. So so so happy to be working with them now. Can't wait to get some Danger Brain products in the Time Suck Store. And if you need graphic branding, like graphic designing, you know, branding, just design work, logo, illustration work done, go to Danger Brain.com, work with the best, man, illustration work done, go to dangerbrain.com,

work with the best, man. Link in the episode description for them as well. And thanks for all the interest in becoming a space lizard when the Time Sok app comes out. That's so nice, you guys. I hope that happens in early December. Soon as I get an official launch date, it will be announced for sure.

A new website will accompany the new app for those of you who don't use smart phones and don't use apps for things like that. You can still be a space lizard. Thanks for the recent PayPal donations to Amazon purchases made via timescorkpodcast.com doing that and continue to buy time. So t-shirts and hats helps so much, so much as do the ITWing ratings. I'll figure out how to get some more products soon.

Love you guys. The feedback you give me truly keeps us DIY independent project moving ahead. And all right let's catch up on some previous episodes now and recent happenings in the suck world with some time sucker updates. Madame Mozel, let us get this shit out of the way right now. I know I represented in the Luxio dear God, I am an idiot. Turns out, I don't know anything about French. In the Amelia Ayerhard episode, I questioned the spelling of an early female aviator's name.

It was MLLE, and then I said, like, who's named Moul, P. Van Potelsberg, De la Portoerie. She does have way too many fucking names. Can we agree on that? I was like, you know, again, who spells her name that way? Well, it turns out no one does. It's the abbreviation for Madame Mousdeau, which is the French word for Mrs. you know, denoting a young and or unmarried woman. So just like, you know, no one is named Mrs.

that same way, you know, with the or at least of the our name Mrs. they don't write it out. MRS you know, with the, or at least if they are named Mrs. they don't write it out, MRS. Or, you know, I guess, no, I'm sorry, it'd be Mids would be the proper one, the proper correlation. So no, like, you know, no one's, no one goes by the name of MS, I don't think, and no one goes by the name of MLLE.

So time suckers Kirk, with row, David just back, Brandon, lightly, Nick Klein, San Schmull, or San, yeah, San, San Schmull, John Bowden, John Hasty, Livy Pelham, Kent Villeneuve, Villeneuve, fucking whatever your name is. I didn't have pronunciation guide for it. And so many others let me know that I was a dumb dumb. So now I know, right?

And just like, just like I know how Janome is not genome anymore. I will never forget. So thank you for that. Mademoiselle, M-L-L-E. Also, Las Vegas, let's talk about that, man. Obviously, some horrific, horrific shit happened there recently. And sometimes, I heard I met Atte Show just this past Thursday night. I talked to them about it. I talked to Steve and Amanda McLaughlin, and they just sent an email

about how the response to it really made them extremely proud of their city and I've heard this from other people as well a nice positive thing to focus on in this extremely negative situation. They wrote in saying, Dearest Reverend Dr. Suckmaster General just wanted to drop you a line about last night's devastating shooter attack here in Las Vegas. My wife and I were celebrating our first anniversary and we just happened to be on the strip when shit went sideways. At first we thought it was just a bad car accident with the way the police were coordinating off the street, nope, SWAT team showed up and we knew things were going down fast. Hundreds of our fellow strip-goers were ushered in the Excalibur casino and then we were placed and we were placed on lockdown for six hours while police cleared the scene. I just wanted to relay that I've never been a

party to the times that humanity had stepped up for each other until last night, and it was pretty goddamn awe-inspiring. Although we were only giving water and blankets and giving two conference rooms and hallways to rest in, we personally saw so many strangers giving comfort to others that didn't know where their friends and family were, or were at the music festival and ran from the automatic gunfire and watched their friends and family get shot, just complete strangers helping one another get through this mayhem. Anyway, that fucked hard is taking the long dirt nap and life will hopefully go on for those affected. The first responders here were incredible. We'll see you at the live taping on Thursday.

Keep on sucking best, Stephen and Amanda McLaughlin. Yeah, so thank you guys for that update that is so good to hear about, you know, a horrible, horrible event, but bringing out the best in other people. And also, another time sucker from Corona, California, let me know that a local veteran was killed in the Vegas shooting by the name of Chris Roybal. He was a dog handler in the Navy who served in Afghanistan and the shooter left his family without a father. He has a GoFundMe page set up. It's the Chris Roybal family relief fund link in the episode description.

Man, uh, fuck man. Such a such a tragic event so much so many lives torn apart by that stupid mother fucker. Uh, whose name I don't even feel like mentioned right now. Uh, and then you know, and this brings up obviously there was a lot of I got a lot of emails about like gun control in general about doing his with mother fucker. Whose name I don't even feel like mentioned right now. And then, you know, and this brings up obviously, there was a lot of, I got a lot of emails about like gun control in general, about doing a suck on it, which we will eventually, and like, what do we do about it?

And you know, I wish I knew, man, I wish I knew. I don't. It's a really, really tricky issue. And people who tried to make it very simple, I think they're being very overly simplistic because it's not. It's like, you know, do we get rid of automatic assault rifles? I think probably're being very overly simplistic because it's not. It's like, do we get rid of automatic assault rifles? I think probably we do.

I think a bump stock taking a semi-automatic or full automatic is probably too much, but would that really change anything? I'm not so sure. The guy in Vegas shot for roughly 10 minutes if he had only a semi-automatic rifle, would he have killed those people? Maybe would have just built the trigger a lot faster and killed the same amount

I don't know and also if we take away full auto capability Where did we stop after that? Do we do we then get rid of semi automatic rifles? What about rifles in general? What about all guns? You know every time you know people are shot in a situation like this. I know this was the worst one Of its kind, but you know the argument can be made that they'd still be alive Obviously if the shooter didn't have access to a gun. An automatic rifle can kill more people than a semi-automatic rifle, and a semi-automatic rifle can kill more than a regular rifle.

And a regular rifle can kill more than someone who doesn't have a rifle. So what's acceptable? Is it public shooting acceptable if only one person is shot? What about five, 10, 50? What number is unacceptable? And if guns are taken away,

will mass killings go away? That's another thing. Or will another form of weaponry just be used? You know, that's an argument I don't hear very often. And one that I think we have to really look at at the end of the day, I don't believe guns are truly the problem. I believe homicidal maniacs with guns

are the fucking problem. Will taking away their guns, take away mass murder, or will they just find some other means to their end? Will they then just use a homemade chemical fertilizer bond? We have to take away chemical fertilizer then. Will they poison a water supply? Will they set a fire in a crowded building and close off the doors. You know, there's a lot of different ways to kill a lot of different people. And I don't know what to do about this, but I do know we need to think more about the issue.

You know, sadly, like a lot of you, I don't have time right now, right today to properly research this issue with the other work that I have and form an educated opinion. But someday, I will, someday we will suck on gun control and we will talk about it as deculpted to curious. Okay, lighten things up a little bit. Let's get to a quick Heavens Gate update. Lee Bowman, several other time suckers, let me know why the Heavens Gate members who killed themselves all had $5.75 in their pockets. Time Sucker Corey League actually emailed one of the remaining Cole members like I did for

the episode and they got back to him and This is really cool actually. I think So this is the update he Corey says I message the representatives saying I was interested in the heaven's gate cult And then I had been studying it profusely and reading a lot of documents But my only question was why did they carry 575? Well, they replied with quote over the decade when group members went out to jobs, they would take a $5 bill with them to cover the vagrancy laws of the states they were in.

The three quarters were for calling back to the house. We used payphones in the 70s, 80s, and 90s. Each member symbolically took their ID, $5.3, $5.75, and checked out, quote, unquote, within the quote there, of the house. It wasn't for a silly, interplanetary toll. It was a humorous way to tell us they had all left to plan it permanently.

We know this may sound like dark humor to someone from the outside, but we knew what it meant. The ID also served to help the police with identification later. And then Corey says, keep on sucking man. If you want me to message this to you in a different platform, just let me know. I just thought you and the other suckers on board should be aware.

Well, that is pretty fucking awesome, Corey. And it makes me like the Heavensgate people a little more. I gotta say they may be my favorite cult man. If you're gonna willingly kill yourself in a mass suicide, why not have a sense of humor about it? Yeah. It's like, and here's why I like the Heavensgate guys in a weird way.

They didn't abuse members. Marshall, Apple White, he wasn't fucking anyone in the ass. Literally, like Jim Jones was. He wasn't manipulating young women like Charles Manson was into doing horrific, you know, murders and staying with him in his whole, like, Pimp vibe. He was that shit crazy. But, you know, everyone who traveled with him or tried traveling with him to space

did so of their own free will. He didn't strong arm his followers into coming on board with him. And leave an idea to make the job of the police who found them easier, leaving an exit videos to explain their choices to families, leaving some quarters as a joke. Gotta be the most polite suicide cult ever. And with a sense of humor on top of it. So that was very interesting to me. Last update, let's talk about those flat earth fucking idiots. Numerous, a lot of time suckers,

including Kirk Withrow, Nicole Alley, Joe, Yagalo, thanks for the pronunciation guide, Joe. And other cold to the curious members, let me know that the B-O-B, the hip hop dude, the flat earth believer, has set up a go fund me, go fund me a campaign to don't don't donate to this one, don't enter the Vegas one, not this one. He set up a go fund me campaign to raise money to launch satellites to prove the earth is flat. I wish I was fucking kidding. So far as a Saturday afternoon, October 7th, the day I looked this up, he'd raised $6,000 and 16 days towards his goal of a million dollars. $1,000 and 16 days towards his goal of a million dollars That does make me happy that he's only raised 6000 towards the million, you know

Like I would be I would be super bummed out if I looked and he'd like was already like somehow over goal Like he he already had 1.5 million And then he says in the you know when he's asking for support he says what's up guys? Help support B.O.B. Purchase and launch multiple weather balloons and satellites into space for experimental Exploration. He's donated $1,000 to the cause to keep it going and we'll be keeping you updated with step-by-step Documentation of the process help B.O.B. find the curve fuck me So I guess he's only raised 5,000. So you know, that's even better. God damn B.O.B. If by some chance you are listening

you know, that's even better. God, B-O-B, if by some chance you are listening, which I doubt you are, because as goofy as I can be, this podcast is probably still too intellectual for your tastes, but if you are listening, please, instead of raising a million dollars for satellites and weather balloons, shit that already exists, the other people are already fucking done

for a long time, how about you spend $29? $29 on a book called Barons How to Prepare for the GED High School Equivalency Exam. The main reason I am sure that you think the Earth is flat is because you dropped out of high school in the ninth grade and you've never educated yourself since you ignorant fucking lunatic. For a few hundred bucks, you can take your GED test online. Go to ged.com for more info.

I looked into it, you can as well. I also looked into getting an online college degree for less than $10,000, right? Less than 10 grand, you can get an online bachelor's degree after you get your GED if you put in the work. Use the $5,000 you've already raised to pay for the first two years. You can get an associate for that. Focus on science classes.

Stop hanging out with every friend you have now who doesn't currently think you're an idiot. Or just listen to this argument against a flat earth. Okay, here's how it goes. On one side of the flat earth argument on the earth is round side is every legitimate scientist alive. On the earth is round side is every college astronomy professor alive. On the earth is round side is every mother fucker working

at NASA, everyone who's worked as a pilot. Everyone of those people who are not also schizophrenic or otherwise mentally ill. On your side, on the other side, on the earth's flat side of the argument, is you, your dumb friends, Tealatequilla, and a few thousand other ignorant people who don't know fucking anything about science.

Please, stop acting like a character out of idiocracy. Stop dumbing down the masses, right? You're a public figure. There are people who find you very influential. There are people who listen to you. You are literally dumbing down America just by the fucking preposterous idiotic notions that you so vehemently claim to be true, please stop it. The world has enough ignorance, right?

Stop adding to it. Or, you know, keep being, you know, doing what you're doing. Keep giving us reasons to make funny on time, so I do find it very entertaining. So I guess really either way is a win. Alright, that is it for the updates today. Thank you TimeSuckers. Thanks TimeSuckers. I need a note. We all did. Alright, so have a great week everybody. Follow us on social media, at TimeSuck podcast on Instagram, where you can't vote for next Friday's,

you know, 1100 iTunes Review Bonus Suck, is it gonna be DB Cooper? Is it gonna be Bruce Lee? Or is it gonna be the Amityville House haunting? You get to decide, whichever one gets the most, you know, comments is the one that will be, you have until Friday the 13th of midnight,

Pacific time to make that decision. And have a great week, hail Nimrod, and keep on sucking. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.