Timesuck with Dan Cummins - 65 - Griselda "The Godmother" Blanco: Cocaine Queenpin

Episode Date: December 11, 2017

Griselda Blanco. The Godmother. La Madrina. The Black Widow. The Columbian drug lord who came BEFORE the Medellin Cartel. Before Pablo Escobar. The woman who helped turn 1980s Miami into one of the world's most dangerous cities. Let’s get into some cocaine. Let’s get into some Columbia, New York, and Miami. Let’s go full Griselda in this coked up, machine gun, gangster edition of Timesuck! Timesuck is also brought to you by by the socially conscious on-line fantastic mattress store LEESA! Go to www.leesa.com/timesuck to get $100 off of one of their incredible mattresses and help both the environment and the homeless while doing so! Trouble with the APP or new website? Email BitElixir! (you'll have to copy and paste - sorry) [e-mail] Merch - https://badmagicmerch.com/ Want to try out Discord!?! https://discord.gg/tqzH89v Want to join the Cult of the Curious private Facebook Group? Go directly to Facebook and search for "Cult of the Curious" in order to locate whatever current page hasn't been put in FB Jail :) For all merch related questions: https://badmagicmerch.com/pages/contact Please rate and subscribe on iTunes and elsewhere and follow the suck on social media!! @timesuckpodcast on IG, @timesuckpodcast on Twitter, and www.facebook.com/timesuckpodcast

Griselde Blanco, the godmother, La Madridna, the black widow, the Colombian drug lord who came before the Medellín cartel, before Pablo, the woman who helped turn Miami into both the most murderous city in America in the early 1980s with brazen hits, machine gunning down a rival at a mall liquor store in broad daylight, for example, ordering a hit on an entire family, and one of the drug lords who helped build Miami Skyline. 80s drug money built a lot of those beach condos, built a lot of those downtown skyscrapers. Unlike most Colombian drug lords,

it resulted in anything but keep the business away from her family. She forced her family into the business and it cost most of those around her their lives. And yet she lived the ripe old age of 69, ancient by drug lord standards. So let's get into some cocaine. Let's get into some Columbia, New York, Miami. Let's go full Griselda in this coaked up machine gun

gangster addition of Time Suck. You're listening to Time Suck. Yeah, wait. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hello Time Suckers. What's going on in the cult? The curious this week. I'm Dan Cummins,

and this is Time Suck. Hey, I'm Noom Not. Thanks to all the St. Louis suckers who came out this past week. I had six shows in St. Louis, and there were time suckers that everyone make an each show that much better. Thanks for letting me work out some new material to start the show off with you. And I'm recording in St. Louis. I'm recording a little bit of an echoey room that I can't help. Kind of ironic to me, then. In the midst of having a nice studio built that I can't always use, because I'm on the road all the time. I think that's good. It's good to be working. Quick tour announcements, and then we are off to visit the Godmother, Griselda Blanco. All other two announcements, or excuse me,

all other announcements, including news about some new merch hitting the store this week, and what the Friday's bonus episode is gonna be after today's tale. Details at the end of this episode. This week I will be in Appleton, Wisconsin on Wednesday, one night only December 13th at the Skyline Comedy Club. Come out and support me, please, it's a small market,

and if enough people don't show up, I won't be back for a long time. I'll be with the Comedy Club on state and Madison, Wisconsin this weekend, December 14th through the 16th. And then I'll be rounding out the year and comedy works. Denver, Colorado, December 28th through New Year's Eve, many 2018 tour dates now posted at dandcom.tv and time suckpodcast.com.

You can link to the tour from both places. Indianapolis, Indianapolis, Indiana, to kick off 2018. I'm gonna be at Morty's Comedy Joint, January 5th and 6th, two nights four shows. I'll be at Providence, Rhode Island, the Comedy Connection, January 19th and 20th. Chickpea, Massachusetts,

Cabot Comedy Club, January 21st, Philadelphia, at the punchline, January 25th through 27th, Chicago, January 31st to February 30th, Zanies and Rosemont, New York City got them comedy club, one night only, February 11th. And then two live podcasts now in the books for 2018, the Small Town Murder, Swapcast and Detroit on February 16th, 2018 at the Magic Bag is happening. Live Swapcast podcast tickets are on sale now. Two shows now in one night, stand up at 7 p.m. Swapcast show 10 p.m. Sisyphus Brewing, Minneapolis, March 3rd.

Only $10 tickets for the live time stock podcast there. They're not quite on sale yet, but I'm bugging that venue to get them up online. I'll announce first on Instagram. I'm sure when those are on sale, small room, I'm in 90 seats. And so hopefully they go fast. And I'll be doing stand-up shows there,

March, 2nd, 3rd as well. Check out the tour date section of the website for more info, ticket links in the episode description, and now the Godmother. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ How do you become a drug lord? How do you get into the business? Do you start off in a, go into like a private Catholic school in the suburbs with your doctor

for a dad and nurturing state home mom? Do you move from home coming queen one year to ordering hits on rival dealers the next? Do you study finance and business administration so you can stand top of the inevitable money laundering that's going to come with that co-cash Not usually now usually you start off in the dirt seems With nothing to lose everything to gain usually you're born into a world of drugs where life is fast and cheap Some shitty neighborhood and a gazelle does no exception to that. So let's take a long hard look at the birth Life and the death of gazelleel de Blanco in a time-suck timeline. Shrap on those boot soldiers, we're marching down a time-suck timeline.

February 15, 1943. That is when Grizel de Blanco was born, even though her tombstone says February 14, a lot of discrepancies in the historical accounts of Griziselda Blanco was born. Even though her tombstone says February 14th, a lot of discrepancies in the historical accounts of Griselda her life is shrouded in mystery and I think she wanted it that way. She embellished truths that wild rumors grow to create more fear in her enemies and rivals and she concealed her identity numerous times

to help evade capture by authorities. She was born somewhere in Columbia. She herself listed at least three different cities in accounts of her birth. Most likely she was born in Cartagena, a coastal city in the Caribbean. An old city founded in 1533, right? A city where indigenous people had lived, according to archeological evidence, since at least 4,000 BC. The Cucanos, the original harvesters and processors are cocaine. The Cucanos chew chew on the leaves of the cocoa plant and thousands of years ago,

they began crushing the leaves into a paste and drying it for a faster high. Soon after that, the crack anotribe figured out how to harden the paste, crystallize it, smoke it, and old pottery pipes. Then a third tribe, the cacano heddles, who couldn't make it themselves, but would buy it from the cacanos and the cacanos.

And the cacano heddles started stealing everyone's stuff and offering deflate fellow tribe members for just one more head of that sweet Cucano rock. And also around this time, the ancient tribes invented a form of disco. They began wearing all white suits to begin to wear their sunglasses at night and indoors. And they started driving nothing but soft top convertibles.

Clearly all that tribes have was bullshit, but the area has been inhabited since around 4000 BC in 1533. It was founded by Pedro de Haddadia, Spanish explorer, and quickly became an important shipping center for sending Peruvians silver back to Spain. And actually the Spaniards truly did encourage the indigenous people of that time to chew the cocoa leaves because it did get them high, kept them more obedient, allowed them to work longer hours in those minds. How strange is that? One day you have an entire culture and way of life that has remained virtually unchanged for centuries. And then the next day, some Spanish assholes on some boat show up and just change everything for the worse forever,

for you and your people. Suddenly you're part of their culture and you're not part of the good part of their culture. You know, yesterday you may have been some respected warrior or village elder. Now, you're just some smuck and still remind literally, just working yourself to death. So, some king across an ocean living in the country, you'll never see your benefit from, can get even richer than he already is. A forward to fund more expeditions, find more indigenous people, fuck them over to. God, the world just really isn't fair. It really, really is not.

Anyway, Cartagena, that's what I keep trying to talk about. Honestly, the more I look into Cartagena, the more I wanna go. It's a gorgeous coastal city, even about a million people, with beautiful old Catholic churches, colonial architecture, average temperature of 82 degrees year round,

museums, beaches, shopping plazas, nightlife, and currently, not too much crime. Looks amazing. If only Griselda could have grown up, to own like a cool beach restaurant or develop beachfront condos or run a nightclub or something. Maybe she could still be there today,

notably grandmother. So, entertain with all of us, how there are all these various paths we can take in our lives. So many points where if we would have zig-left instead of zagged right, or if our parents would have zig-left instead of zagged right, we'd been an would have zig-left instead of zagged right,

we'd been an entirely different person, living an entirely different life now, a whole new set of circumstances. Wherever she was born, Griselda was baptized in Santa Marta, also on Columbia's Caribbean coast, another badass-looking place to visit, a place of a little under half a million people,

founded on July 29th, 1525, by the Spanish conquistador Rodrigo de Bastezas, Basti Daz. It was the first Spanish settlement in Colombia, another postcard of the city with the stunning mountains of the Sierra Nevada, Descenta Marta Range, ancient ruins, mangrove forests, hiking trails, beaches, beautiful, Colombian women, the baptismal center of a woman who would lead a horrifically ugly life. The man Grasile de Calder, her, who might have actually been her stepdad, was a taxi driver named Louise Carlos Blanco. Griselda would let her tell friends

that she had been raised in poverty, unable to afford so much of shoes. Others would say that Louise and Griselda's mother Anna provided Griselda and her three younger siblings with, you know, their basic needs. They were poor, but they had their basic stuff. And she would carry the Blanco name her whole life. And then at some

point, very early in Brazil, the childhood, when she was around three, the family moved to Bario, Antioquia, decidedly not very nice at all neighborhood, far from the beach in Medellin. I remember Medellin from the Pablo Escobar Suck. The city Pablo was raised in. The city he'd be shot down in. The city he'd come to control for years through Ruthless violence and bribes. Home of the Medellin drug cartel to height of its power, the cocaine capital of the world, and at times one of the most violent cities in the entire world. Now Medellin is a city full of a lot of safe neighborhoods, declared the world's most innovative city by the Urban Land Institute and Wall Street Journal in 2012.

Well, Badiot and Tioquia is a neighborhood Medellin that is still by all accounts I came across as shit show. Underworld den of crime, vice and corruption, and when Griselda was young, her mother Anna was said to have worked as a prostitute in this neighborhood full of brothels. The neighborhood had earned its name in the early part of the century for attracting rural migrants from the Pueblos of the surrounding Antiochia district, who came to work in its hoseree factories. In the 1940s, it attracted poor migrants from the Caribbean,

like Grizilda's family. The bodyo was destitute, crowded, and at the time, isolated from the rest of the city in 1951, Medellin's mayor, with the tacit blessing of the Bishop and the city's mercantile elite, decided that these very qualities made it an ideal place to establish a red light district. The history of this bodyo is so crazy to me. And it's hard to find info on, man,

possibly a source of embarrassment for the locals. I'm not sure. Local government, maybe. Apparently from what I could find over the objections of local prominent citizens in Catholic priests, the mayor signed a decree designating a bodyo and bodyo and teo-kiah, Medellin's single tolerance zone.

So basically they declared it an anarchy zone. Do what you wanna do in Bario and Tikiya. And Tikiya, that fucking word kills me. I rehearsed it, I said it like a hundred times, literally before this episode. It doesn't look like it should have five syllables. When you just, it's a small word, word that somehow they've crammed two words,

you know, worth the syllables into. But anyway, the police aren't gonna fuck with you. You do stuff in Bario Antiquil. Just keep your, you know, elicit doings away from the rest of the city. The idea was to remove prostitutes, homosexuals, drug addicts, and thieves from the downtown business district, concentrate them, isolate them from the general population. Only in Bario Antiquil, we're fucking nailed at that time. We're women even permitted in bars in Medellin 1951.

Bars under the terms of this new decree never needed to close or even turned down their music, man. Sounds like a fun place to go. If you're 18 or 21, except for the lack of police protection, that doesn't sound fun. It's probably like a great place to hang out until you got stabbed or shot or murdered or raped.

Then like way less fun. That's when the fun stopped. On the first night of this new unusual decree, 30 private homes were converted to brothels in the first night. Yellow light bulbs were removed, red ones screwed in, a true red light district, like something out of Amsterdam, born overnight, and then body Oantiquias, streets are filled with cars,

arrived from all parts of the city to party harder than they'd ever party before, and naturally a statue of Luciferin herself was erected in the town square. And drugged out citizens fucked beneath it to pay tribute to the sultry goddess of debauchery. The sister of Satan smiled down upon all those beneath her and joined a new world with no morality. A world of why not?

Instead of do not, hail Luciferina, dark tempers of time suck, orgy beneath my feet children, Luciferina commands it, drink of the wine, suck of each other, stab each other, let your blood flow into my dark altar. Some of you get that. Those of you who don't, welcome to time suck, it's weird here. Prostudes arrived literally by the truckload, carried over from all around the rest of the city within a month and a half, the little barrio boosted 215 brothels, most of which had been family homes, some of which had even been schools, school one year, brought up the next.

The decree only lasted two years. It was rescinded in 1953, but it was too late to turn things back around. According to locals who lived there, Barrio and Tickia only got worse in 1953, concentrating all of the cities' vise into one place created strong criminal ties. The beginnings of a real organized crime in that city. That doesn't just go away with a new degree. That's kind of foolish. You don't build a criminal sanctuary, encourage them to live with each other, let them start

making a shit ton of money on various forms of vise. And then just two years later, they'd be like, hey, cool, Kata, I know you've been having a lot of fun the past few years, partying all night long and gambling and pimping and running brothels and strip clubs, dealing dope and all that. But after seeing how our crime rates skyrocket

around town the last two years, how's about you fellas, give it a rest. Go back to being cubes, time to be square again, daddy-o. Oh, what a drag. But I feel what you're laying down. Yeah boss, man, sure thing. Do you mind if we just sell the rest of our drugs real quick

so we don't have to lose money and all the hot product we've already paid for? Well, don't get frosted cool cap, but actually we depreciate it if you just threw it all the way up burned it. Oh wow, daddy, oh. Ooh, try not to flip my wig right now. We'll just trash our stash, I guess.

What about the 200 prostitutes that have working on my brothels making me thousands of dollars a day? I got so many stacked betties, really revving the local boys engines, you know? Oh, well, sorry, cool cat. I hate to go all making mouse on ya, but I'd like to have them knock it all off.

Maybe turn some of those brothels into some malt shops or drive-ins, you know? Let them work as waitresses, you know? Let them roll to skate around, pay them a decent wage. Sure, Daddy-O, that'd be swell, I guess. What about the, what about the gambling halls and 24 hour night clubs? I've been running the ones making me millions of dollars a year. Yeah, well, I, I hate to kick you in the wazoo again, but we got to close all that down.

Maybe open up a gymnasium for local youth, perhaps a chess club. Re-opener, a hosiery factory, make some nice leggings for your swell gals. How about instead of that, and this is just an idea, it makes some nice leggings for your swell gals. How about, instead of that, and this is just an idea, I'm not married to a daddy-o, but how about you fuck off? How about I take my well-armed army of thugs, and I put a bullet in your fucking family's heads, a bullet in the heads of every one of your fucking candy-ass police officers, and I fist fuck you to death in the middle of the street, and then just go back to run to my criminal empire, like nothing happened. How about that, daddy-o?

Uh, you know what, I'm hip to your job, okay. No need to flip your lid. I'm gonna make like a tree right now and leave. Please don't come to my family. Yeah, you know, maybe they didn't use quite all that 50s lingo in Columbia, I don't know. But nothing went away. Places still super dangerous.

A still on a travel advisory list as a place to stay the hell out of at all times of day, all days of the year. It's been a nightmare for over 70 years now. And this is where Griselda was raised, where she died many years later. Author Alonzo Salazar, a former mayor of Medellin between 2008 and 2012,

and accomplished chronicler of its underworld, wrote that in the mid-1950s, years before the first Coco paste, you know, arrived in Barrio, Antiquia. From Bolivian Peru, the neighborhood had already began, you know, breeding a uniquely Cosba-Polishin class of hustlers, smugglers, and thieves. Men flew from the Barrio to Caracas, Panama City, New York, often using false documents, carrying suitcases filled with marijuana, stealing in the streets, returning with fine clothes and dollars to Barrio Antiquia. They spoke a suave and cynical language of all, you know, kind of their own design to

kill was to Tulliar or Kiss, a corpse was a Monaco or doll. These men called themselves Gellophardos, a word that connotes kind of dandy and bum all at once. So they really were some cool cats thrown around their jav. One of these young hustlers would be Grizell's first husband, cool cat Jose Dario Trio, nicknamed Pestanias. Pestanias! eyelashes. That's weird. That's a weird nickname. Eh, what's up eyelashes? Good to see you. Good to see you, wrists. Just call each other body parts. Eh, are you? How you doing, cybers? Ah, I'm see you. Good to see you, wrists. Just call each other body parts. Eh, how you doing, cyber-ness?

Ah, I'm good, I'm good. Good to see you, belly-lint. No, I don't want a nickname. I don't want belly-lint. I don't want belly-lint. Okay, okay, how about to call you butt hair? No, no, no eyelashes. I want to go back to eyelashes.

Pestani is emerged as one of the more glorious califardos of the 1950s, kind of had an eluse cartel of like-minded traveling bandits, some banditos. I don't know why I got a kind of whisperer when I do that dexin. One of these rumors surrounding Grazelda is that she was prostitute herself when she met Pestanias, something she always denied, but yeah, okay, something you probably wouldn't know, I guess, maybe. This one probably is just rumor based on her age.

If it was true, she would have had to be in a very young prostate because she married Pastanias when she's only around 15 or 16. She saw those fucking sweet eyelashes and she's like, I gotta, I gotta, I gotta little stare into those. And she gave birth to her first son, Dixon, when she was 17 and 1960, their first son.

Other rumors persisted from her childhood to last it until her death. The most violent one is that the age of 11, Christelda, Christelda, kidnapped a young boy for ransom. When his wealthy family parents failed to pay, she killed him, criminal and murderer at 11. Yeah, I don't know, unsubstantiated rumor,

commonly repeated rumor, and entirely possible, you know, especially if it's true that she was raised by a prostitute and she ended up running away from home by the age 14 to escape the sexual advances of a man her mom was dating another rumor All of that while living in one of the world's you know developed worlds at least most dangerous neighborhoods I probably was just one of the most dangerous neighbors period gonna grow faster place like that You know good chance you're gonna grow violent in a place like that. Good chance you're going to grow up violent in a place like that. Between 1960 and 1967, she'd give birth to two more sons, Uber and Osvaldo. Uber, he actually went on to found the car service. That's pretty fucking cool.

That never happened. But his name was Uber. While raising him, Griselda assisted Pestanias in some passport forging in marijuana smuggling businesses he had going. Pestanias died in 1970. After a flare-up of hepatitis, he suffered New York. Man, dying young of the hip, that sounds crazy to me. So how many diseases now?

We no longer have to worry about dying up in a first world country. There's rumors also that he did not die of hepatitis, but that she had him killed over dispute involving drug money, which is fairly likely considering her violent past. We'll find out more about here soon. Pastania's body was flown home from Queens,

as funeral was remembered as one of the first of the, you know, of the big extravagant Barrio Antiquia send-offs, street festival, replete with Aguardiente, marijuana smoke, marachis, singing pistol shots in the air. Resel de Blanca would continue to live with Pastania's aging mother until the day of her arrest in California, some 15 years later. So that's interesting.

Man, shooting bullets up into the air. I was wondered like when I seen footage of people firing guns to the air like celebration, so those bullets have to come back down. Isn't that kind of dangerous? I mean, of course they have to come back down. But couldn't they hit and kill you? Well, according to one article I found,

they could of course hit you, but it's unlikely that they would and unlikely that they would kill you. According to the first article, they said they'd make it all the way up to about 10,000 feet up in the air. They could stay in the air around a full minute. And then the initial trajectory plus that distance dictates it. You know, probably going to drop a long ways away from you. So you're probably not going to hit by your own bullet.

You shot up. And this first article said that they won't reach their initial firing velocity on the way back down, make it unlikely they would kill you if you got hit. However, a newsweek article I found interviewing various members of the LAPD said that celebratory gunfire for sure results in woundings and killings. 1999, a nine-year-old kid was struck in the head and killed by a falling bullet. The 39th person to die from a stray bullet, a celebratory bullet up to that time in Los Angeles, St. Marickle said that schools can be penetrated by a velocity of 200 feet per second, and that stray bullets can reach 300 to 700 feet per second.

So damn, that's plenty. That's plenty to pair to school. So you know, probably shouldn't do it, I guess. Some jurisdictions will charge you, not with manslaughter, but homicide. If your stray bullet results in someone's death. So what a strange way to die, man. Walking down the street, stray bullet just falls out the sky and it takes you out. Somehow that seems worse to me than actually getting shot.

Anyway, on the late 1960s, the woman announced single mother, the lady from Barrio Antiquia, the killer who would become to be known as the godmother, Griselda Blanco, was introduced to cocaine. In her life, not long after Pastania godmother, Griselda Blanco, was introduced to cocaine. And in her life, not long after Pastania's death, one of the fucking sweet eyelashes was out of here. Coke was in. Cocaine was a novelty in Columbia in the mid-1960s. It had been in wide medicinal and recreational use in the US

until the 1920s, when it was prohibited for being addictive. If you want a more detailed history on that, visit or revisit Time Suck Abonus episode number five, the Pablo Escobar Suck. In most of South America, Coke will be outlawed as well, but its use was not widespread, and it was only produced in small quantities. In 1950s and 1960s, there was some illicit production of Coca-Pastes and Peru and Bolivia,

and a cottage industry based in Chile processed it into hydrochloride powder, which was smuggled north by way of Panama. But it was fairly small time. There just wasn't much of an international market for Coke yet. Key word being yet. That was all that's changed. The combination of political chaos and Chile and the collapse of Medellín's traditional textile industry helped push the processing trade over the Medellín, where a businessman

named Alberto Bravo, an old friend of Pistania, so old friend of eyelashes, Alberto Bellilint Bravo. No, he wasn't. I was busy converting empty garment factories into cocaine labs by the late 60s. The counterculture revolution in the US in the 1960s opened the floodgates for all kind of drugs. marijuana, of course, psychedelics for sure, opiates like heroin, yeah.

Also uppers like speed and coke. And demand slowly grew over the decade. In 1970, Greseldo Flutta Bolivia, with a female friend, bought her first $500 worth of unrefined cocaine. Second time, she sent a friend to Bolivia alone to pick up 10 times as much. She also started taking trips to New York City as Alberto Bravo established some drug contacts

there to sell Coke. 1971, Greseldo appears to have married Alberto Bravo and Forest Hills Queens. Bravo was better educated than Griselda. Spoke English, a language Griselda was never fully able to master. Griselda and Alberto would buy cocaine paste and Peru, process it and Barrio and Ticchia,

export it a little bit at a time. Under employed tailors, gratefully accepted Griselda's orders for custom lingerie into which she designed pockets and accommodated packets of cocaine. A neighborhood shoemaker, hauled out dozens of thick platform heels for her coque mule girls, Grazeldo cultivated mules, most of them women who flew to New York with as much as two kilos packed discreetly in their girdles, shoes and wigs, and flew home with them stuffed with cash.

She would carry that way herself. She herself worked as a Coke mule. A Grizzled as three young sons learned to line hard-sided Samsonite suitcases with cocaine, removing the interior shells and resealing them. Man, making it a family business. Kids get in here. I need you to help Mama stuff her suitcase full of Coke. Hey, hey, do you wanna help Mama stuff

her suitcase full of Coke or do you want Mama to get coffee or trafficking narcotics? And end up in prison leaving you to fend for yourselves and one of the world's most dangerous neighborhoods. You want to join help mom with coke or probably get kidnapped and killed and possibly raped in the street. You want stuff coke and mom with suitcases or you want to get

stuffed by sick men in a burial basement. Your choice kiddos, your choice. Mom is not making you do anything you don't want to do. Mom loves you. I love this used to, she used the local declining kind of, hose your, hose your industry helps, you know, smuggling. You know, just putting out of work tailors

back to work creating lingerie for truck traffic. And that's so weird and awesome, in a way. Maybe I love that teddy, but what's going on with your nipples? Oh, no, that's, that's just little packets of pure uncut, clubbing cocaine. Sorry, it came with the outfit.

That's why this little number cost $50,000. Oh, now I get it. I thought $50,000 was pretty expensive for a C-thru Teddy. In the early 1970s, Griselda moved her residence from Barrio Antiquia to the more gentile Lorelez, though she maintained her offices in the Barrio. Got to maintain that street cred, man. Can't leave the Barrio Antiquia. Home sweet got to say gotta stay gangster's fuck to run a coke empire

She began to accumulate shoes and jewelry and not be the dummy She got a lot of real estate including a cocaine processing ranches on the outskirts of town in New York where Guzeldo and Alberto flew frequently they developed an effective distribution system that includes stash houses and drop off points in Queens, Brooklyn Manhattan, the Bronx. Gwizeldo is now employing a full-time document forger and had paid connections in Columbia and Venezuelan consulates. Wow, man.

Making some of those consulate connections. The couple, and they're increasingly prolific fellow smugglers and underworld business associates are laundering money through New York and New Jersey banks and Columbia and businesses and Jackson Heights, sweet, sweet money laundering. Make that Coke money legit, put it through Walter White's break and bad car wash, man, get it clean, get it so fresh and so clean.

In 1973, Grizeld is New York years, Conte Attention of the US government and a federal investigation was created that became the drug enforcement agencies, the DEA's first major cocaine smuggling case. She was a pioneer. Open to 1973 was called Operation Banshee because it involves so many women. Often a cause of embarrassment among the male agents pursuing them, sexism may have helped Griselda thrive. A lot of the investigating officers had a hard time

convincing their superiors that she was a big deal. Just boss, she's moving a lot of coke. She's starting to kill some people. What? Little old Griselda? Come on. The sweet little clumbian lady? The one with the lingerie business?

Get out of here. So she has a little blow, all right? Maybe she sells a bit. Shit, I work for the DAA. I sell a bit. I sold a little bit of Club 54 last night. Come on, this is New York, baby. It's 1973.

We haven't discovered AIDS yet. We haven't learned how bad this shit actually is for you yet. Live a little, agent Debbie Downer. Well, Grazel does early New York years may have been her best years of her life. She's moved a million dollars worth of coke every six months. Nothing compared to the amount Pablo Escobar would soon move a few years later,

but still held a lot of money. You know, she had a great business partner and husband Alberto Bravo, the two had graduated from stuffing girdles and we're sending cocaine and boats now from the Columbia and coast, send a marijuana and shipping containers. One of the Brazilians employees would pick up Coke

along the Mexican border and there would be reports of frog men swimming in waterproof cases underwater. They were jumping off ships, they were doing stuff like just literally swimming Coke in New cases underwater. Here's jumping off ships. And we're doing stuff like just literally swimming coke in New York City. It's fucking crazy. On October 1974, a warrant was issued for Greseldos arrest

in an April 1975, Greseldos Blanco, Alberto Bravo, and 36 others were formally indicted for conspiring to manufacture import and distribute cocaine. 15 of them were arrested. The rest scattered becoming fugitives. Alberto and Griselda made it back to Medellin, where they avoided capture. And back in Medellin, Griselda gets a little violent.

It starts to get real violent. She puts a virtual chokehold on the airport, keeping everyone and her employee from the police to the pilots, making sure rival coax mugglers stood no chance of getting their kilos on planes. Now, the old Barrio and Tikiya really really helped her out here because it just happened to be located. Her old neighborhood next to Medellins International Airport at the time. The airport's still there but a new international airport has been

built far from that Barrio. Yeah good good move by the city officials. I don't want that to be people's first impression of Medellin. Grizeldo carried a pistol surrounded herself with thugs started gaining a reputation for arbitrary violence. One time during a party one of her ranches, Lesion has that she had four young men just shot dead by her guards, accusing them of betrayal. Once they'd been carted off in a truck bound for the dump, she just announced, empiriously, to her guests, nothing happened here. Nothing happened. Don't worry about the gunshots, everybody. I just had to kill four of my employees in front of you. No big deal. Enjoy the toggle bar. Enjoy it. All the coke, all the liquor you want, everything's free.

Just please do not betray or annoy me or I will have you shot in the face as well. But as you were, no, seriously, seriously, go relax. Have fun, seriously, have fucking fun or I'll shoot you in the goddamn face. Enjoy the enjoy the night. Griselda is credited with masterminding the city's first motorcycle killings. Medellins, hitmen had traditionally killed from cars until one of Grizeldas' hitmen got stuck in traffic in the middle of a job and then got arrested. One of the first fast Japanese motorcycles were just appearing in Medellin and Grizeldas

informed her, Sikarios, her hitmen, no more killing from cars. All motorcycle hits from now on. Stroke at Evil Genius really way easier for armed men, you know, to get away from the police uncrowded Medellin streets using a motorcycle All motorcycle hits now on. Stroke at Evil Genius really way easier for armed men, to get away from the police on crowded Medellin streets using a motorcycle than it would be to do on a car. Back in Medellin around this time

is when she first met a young Pablo Escobar as well. Pablo was only six years younger than Griselda but wasn't essentially born into crime like she was and he got under the Coke biz a little bit after her. Legend has that they met at a cock fight, which from what I understand, involves two naked men squaring off an adirt pit using their hard weans to slap each other silly,

a strange sport, but you know, I guess people like it. No, of course that's not what it is. Cock fights went out to roosters, slapped each other just with their rooster weans or something like that. I know it involves roosters. Both Priselda and Pablo worked with a local smuggler named Alberto Prieto, with whom Escobar moved liquor and appliances

from the canal zone in Panama. Graselda owned a numbers game with Prieto and would claim that she had financed later Escobar's first cocaine purchase, a half kilo with Prieto's encouragement. Man, getting Pablo into the cocaine. Interesting footnote, the story of Griselda. Well, Griselda and Pablo did not become fast friends

and as Pablo's business exploded, Griselda tried to have him killed. And when it failed, she and her husband, Alberto Bravo, fearing for their lives, left Medellin and went to Bogota. And then Bravo would soon die in Bogota in a parking lot shoot-outs. Now some accounts say that one of Pablo's men shot him,

other accounts say Griselda herself shot him after another drug money dispute. Along with rumors of killing a kid when she herself was only 11 now that our rumors she'd killed her first two husbands. The first one also the father of her first three sons. There's also accounts that she ordered the kidnapping and murder of Bravo's brother shortly before Bravo's death, man killing her own family. This lady did not fuck about. Griselda herself was rumored to have taken a bullet and she'd out with Bravo.

She'd denied until her death, but when she died in autopsy, he did reveal a scar from an old bullet wound. And what work, Griselda and Alberto, fighting about exactly, who knows? We'll never know, but maybe things wouldn't have escalated the way they did if the two of them would have gotten a better night's sleep. Maybe they just needed a night on today's sponsor, one of their products, Lisa. That's right. Today's time suck is brought to you by Lisa.

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So Lisa.com slash TimeSuck. They've only Grazelda and Alberto slept on one, but they didn't. Yeah, so she probably killed him. A short after Bravo's death, Grazelda shacked up with the brother of one of her hitman, a bank robber named Dario Sipolvida. 1978 Dario and Grazelda have a son, right? This is their third main man now. They named his son Michael Corleone Sipolida.

Wow, they actually named their son after Al Pacino's character in the Godfather. That is hardcore. That is commitment to the drug lifestyle. You're not a casual criminal. You're not a casual coqutiler when you name your kid, Michael Corleone. Like you know, in the bottom of your soul,

you are in the game forever. You know, just like you can't name your kid like Tom Brady, or Peyton Manning, or Adrian Peterson, and then just six months later, just be like, you know what, I don't care if it's a baloney more. No, it's a lifetime commitment. So fucked up. So weird for play dates, right? Hi little Bobby. How are you doing? I'm Griselda Mikey's mom. I like your Scooby-Doo lunchbox

Did you know that the Mikey's actual name is Michael Corleone? You know like the godfather the ruthless mob boss who ordered not only the deaths of many Many rivals but also his own brother-in-law Michael Corleone the man who had you killed, if you crossed him, no matter who you were, didn't matter, didn't matter who, anyway, you two have fun, all right? Let me know when you're ready for lunch and I'll make some mac and cheese and hot dogs. He would kill anyone, have fun kids. Shortly after Michael's birth, the family escaped Colombia from Miami, leave one country where a more powerful rival drug lord wants you dead and go to a country where there's still a federal warrant from Operation

Banche out for your arrest. Gwizelda entered the United States under a new name with a Venezuelan passport and the feds had no idea. She was now a Venezuelan housewife named Lucretia, you know, officially. She would return to Columbia until the US government put her on a plane to head to Columbia quarter century later. So goodbye for now, Barrio and Ticchia. So the Miami years, let's talk about them.

That's what she became really known for. Grizeldas time in Miami would be much bloodier than her time in New York City after the death of her second husband, Alberto Bravo. She was now fully in charge of her drug business. Her third husband, Dario Sipol, that was more of a hired gun in body man. Her bodyguard, body man. That's weird.

He's a body man. He likes, he was into bodies. He liked touch him. He like holding him. He liked taking a life out of him. No, but he was more of a bodyguard than a leader or mastermind. You know, now it's time for her godmother years, time for some carnage. She became increasingly violent from 1978 when she arrived in Miami to 1984 when she left.

Less than a week after arriving in Miami, She walked into a McDonald's and killed some poor dude dressed up as Ronald McDonald in front of a birthday party of about 30 kids And then she just announced to the group There's a new clown in town mother fuckers and then she insisted that the kids stop crying when she spent the next 20 minutes or so trying to make some balloon animals She finally gave up and she demanded that the parents make the balloon animals themselves killing each and every one of them when they failed to do so and then she told the kids now Now you can cry you soft American fox Where I grew up you had your parents killed in front of you to birthday party every day and you never cried about it And then one of the kids was like wait, how? How does that work?

You I thought you don't have one side of parents. I mean, you don't have one killed one. And then Resilda shot that kid and left. All right. Anyway, I just made about that McDonald's shit. Sorry, I'm just not sure where even where that came from. But there was a lot of murder when she showed up. The killings attributed to Griselda, the Sepulveda brothers, and their organization would

continue unchecked from 1978 into 84, when law, Florida law enforcement officials tallied more than 40 murders. Single lieutenant of Grizeldas, Jorge Rivera, Aya, acknowledged taking part in 29. That's where main hit man in the real body count may have been closer to 200. Part of the violence was due to increased competition in the drug trade.

Miami, the emergent Medellin cartel led by Escobar and the Ochoa brothers, was beginning to monopolize shipments of Coke to Florida, sending plain loads of Coke from Columbia through the Bahamas and into Florida. The Kilos were coded, you know, Mark for distributors who'd ordered them and Griselda was now just one of many left to squabble and fight over what was left over after the bigger dealers actually got their shipments. While a little slice of pie may have been all that was left to her, Griselda and her supposed brothers

distinguished themselves among the other local dealers with their extreme brutality to get all they could at that little slice. In 1979, when they set out to murder a rival cocaine distributor, they reinforced the walls of a white, Ford, a connoline van, and stenciled happy time,

complete party supply on one of the sites. And then they headed out for the day land shopping mall where Grizeldas man not only killed the distributor, they were after in his bodyguard in the liquor store, but sprayed the mall parking lot with automatic weapon fire. Two store employees were instantly wounded. Panesto and his companion, his bodyguard in Santa Chan, it looked like Swiss cheese, a medical examiner,

told the Miami Herald. Interesting details of this shootout. They painted on the words on the right side of the van that read happy time complete supply party and on the left happy time complete party supply. Like there was a telephone number listed, the line was disconnected. I just love that they put this elaborate plan together

but didn't think to match each side of the van. The mall they hit was Miami's largest in Kendall, a bedroom community, 10 minutes out the downtown. The drivers drove slowly around the outskirts of the 50-acre mall, pulled up in front of crowns, liquors, then squeezed between a beauty salon and a deli. Shortly after the van arrived, the target pulled up in a white Mercedes sedan with tinted black windows, and then went into the place where he'd placed his usual order for several thousand dollars worth of shivas, regal, and rare cogniacs, cogniacs.

He and his bodyguard felt so comfortable that they left their guns in the car, just getting my weekly several thousand dollars worth of liquor. No big whoop. I'm not envious of the violent aspects of the life of a drug dealer, but having thousands to spend each week on, you know, tippy top shelf liquor. That sounds pretty fantastic. They'd be in the store for less than a minute when two men from Happy Time van walked in without a word. The taller one walked up the target. 37-year-old Coke distributor. Distributor. Yeah, Hemenya's, but the Paneso.

Whipped out a 380-barreta handgun with the silencer shots of Columbia and drug lord four times in the face. Four times in the face. That seems excessive. Must have not been much face left after the fourth shot. Hernandez, the bodyguard, and the store clerk began running. The other gunmen sprayed the store with the 45 caliber Mac 10 machine pistol. I'm a man of machine pistol. I'm seeing the 30 round clip in a few seconds. Then the two gunmen calmly walked back to the idling van and jumped in the back. An accomplice slammed the accelerator as the Ford creamed out of the mall, the two men fired indiscriminately out of the van's rear door, smashing store windows, tearing up cars, sending shoppers, fleeing in terror.

And then they delivered a bunch of party supplies, you know, after the whole Ronald McDonald execution, they had a lot of birthday party goodwill to rebuild in Miami. No, now they lived in the van in the parking lot, hopped into another getaway car and were gone. And the brazen mall killing didn't just attract the attention

and raise the alarm of the local police, it caught the attention to the White House. You know, you don't get the fucking sheet up of mall in America. Not have the White House notice. The White House knew they had to do something soon. These cartel gangsters were better armed than the local police officers. You know, they got these automatic weapons while local police are still packing six-shot revolvers. You know, the cost of Miami were so overwhelmed by the new coke game of the early 80s. Federal authorities that by 1980 70% of all cocaine and marijuana entering the country past due to South Florida. That's a lot of coke to add to deal with. And by 1982 80% of

South Florida co-dealers were overwhelmed with the pure awesomeness that was Michael Motherfuckin McDonald's debut album if that's what it takes. How do I please you? How do I please you? 4 stars in Rolling Stone magazine 4 stars. Can't wait to horribly sing the New Times X studio and that's built. Oh, but seriously, the DEA said that the annual Miami Dope Trade brought in about 12 billion a year outpacing areas, two largest legitimate businesses, 11 billion for real estate and 9 billion for tourism. And a strange interesting side note, the drug trade really helped the real estate game. All right, a lot of Miami's early 80s and mid 80s condos in downtown high rises, as I said

in the beginning, were built with drug money. You know, the drug dealers laundered it, deposit it in local Miami banks, billions of dollars in drug money that the banks were then able to loan to local real estate developers. So really a lot of that 11 billion in real estate development also attributed to the 12 billion in Koch sales. I mean Koch truly did build Miami in the 80s. So weird. Although Miami had previously already had a reputation

for money laundering and astonishing volume of Narco cash now is passing through the city, Miami's continental bank was typical of many small independent banks. 70% of them Latin American owned that had opened in recent years in the area. At average 12 million annual deposits during the mid 1970s by 1980 was flooded with more than $600 million. I can think about that. Right a couple years earlier, they

get in 12 million a year and then suddenly one year, 600 million. The Federal Reserve branch, they covered Miami and Miami Beach, had a $5 billion currency surplus. Most in $1500 bills, larger than the 11 other federal reserve banks combined. So much fucking cash if flown into these banks. If you know, federal reserve districts elsewhere, or in the nation are running deficits, just crazy money being made by these cartels.

And they were, you know, able to hire armies with it to protect themselves and their profits. You know, and they were able to hire armies with it to protect themselves and their profits. And they were able to hire a lot of people from this expanding and sudden, kind of unexpected massive influx of manpower that happened in 1980. This is a weird little thing in this story.

April 20th, 1980, the Castro regime, Fidel Castro announced that all Cubans wishing to immigrate to the United States were free to board boats at the port of Marial West of Havana, launching the Merrill boat lift. Now 125,000 Cuban refugees are sent to Miami, many arriving from Mariel the very next day. And as it turned out Castro, a future suck for sure wasn't exactly sent over the crew in the crop. Number of the exiles had been released from Cuban prisons and mental health facilities. More criminals and murderers flooding Miami streets and they're looking for work.

And cocaine, rich and ambitious kingpins like the godmother, or like the godmother, totally ready to hire. Right? Can I see your resume? Two tear drop tattoos under your right eye, four bullet wound scars in your face. Ah, looks good to me. You're hired. Miami's murder rate sky rockets after this Cuban invasion. four bullet wound scars in your face. Ah, looks good to me, you're hired. My name is Murder Rate Sky Rockets

after this Cuban invasion. In 1980, the Miami Murder Rate was 25% higher than any other major city in the US. A shitload of people are still being killed in East St. Louis, Detroit, Newark, and other notoriously violent cities, but nowhere like there being killed in Miami. Miami had the highest overall crime rate

for violent crime in the nation in 1980, with robberies increasing by 105% aggravated assaults are up 106% and rapes by 33% up from 1979. So most violent crime is doubling or a little bit more than doubling. In the early 1980s, Miami-Dade County would regularly record over 500 homicides a year with 1981 logging a staggering 621 murders. Roughly two murders a day every day all year long. So much murder. For the state of Florida, as a whole, murders jumped up from a total of 1084 and 1979 to 1522, just two years later, 1921, while the population rose, right? You know, just under 15% in those two years. The murder rate increased 50%

and it's safe to say Miami's new drug war had a lot to do with it. So statues of Luciferina are magically popping up around all around the stage. You know, praise Luciferina, murder for her, snored the white powder, snored it to fuck, kill, praise the dark mistress. Oh man, man, uh, Griselda did actually have a lot to do with his rise in violent crime. She loved murder, she loved order hits. Sometimes in that landage fashion, you know, when Griselda sought to kill Papo Mejia, a former drug trade ally who had recently stolen a few kilos from her,

she sent a thug to greet him at the airport with a fucking bayonet. You heard that right. As an a knife attached to the barrel of a gun, dude took a bayonet and stabbed me here 10 times. Me here survived barely. Griselda's son is valdo later ordered a gold plated bayonet. He ordered gold plated bayonets to commemorate the attack. What a strange weapon to be attacked with.

You notice what kind of knife did he start with? The kind at the end of a gun. A bayonet? Did you get attacked after falling into a time machine and ending up in the Civil War? Who uses a bayonet? The asshole who stabbed me, that's who, that's how he stabbed me 10 times.

If you would've used a knife or a sword, I could've defended myself. But for the first eight or nine thrust, I just kind of laid there thinking, what the fuck is happening? Am I being stabbed with a bayonet? Am I being killed by a bayonet in Miami in 1980? Grizeldo also had me, he has father killed

and bombed his house. She allegedly secretly ordered Dario to hold with his brother killed. Just like she had Alberto Bravo's brother killed a few years earlier, and she wept inconsolably upon news of his death. Unlike Pablo Escobar, the Ochoa is another principal high ranking cartel family. She didn't shield her family from her violence with a drug business.

You know, remember, sons are packing suitcases when they were kids. Now they're soldiers. Dixon has said to have been one of the three shooters in the happy time, complete party supply van murders. You know, the teenage as Valdow already ordering around other hired guns. God, man, it's crazy that the, that that guy survived the 10 stamps, you're sorry, just keep thinking about that BANF stamp.

That's gonna come back to honor as you will find out. When you don't finish off somebody with a BANF, White House getting sick of all these murders in Miami, cartels are turning the city into a third world country. Task Force is formed by Ronald Reagan in January 1982, headed by Vice President George Herbert Walker, Texas Ranger Bush. It was called Centax-26, Centax-Bean an abbreviation of Central Tactical, the 26th meeting, it was a 26 such task force, and it was a joint effort between DEA,

US Customs, the FBI, US Military, and Bojangles. Three-legged, one-eyed steel-nerved hound of the suck. Bojangles was chosen to lead based on his work with narco traffickers and commies in Latin America. Little known fact, Bojangles is inspiration for Don Johnson's character in Miami Vice. I'm kidding. Michael Motherfucking McDonald was inspiration and tubs based on James Ingram. Bojangles actually developed a massive coke problem around this time. We went undercover, went too deep. He dated Reselter for six months, and when was not, uh, when she found that he wasn't

actually a drug dealer, she was furious. When she found out he wasn't actually a man, she was embarrassed. How did she not know her man was actually a three-legged dog? All the signs were there. The fur, the ball licking, the not walking upright, the sharp teeth, the red weiner. Bojangles had become a shell of his former self. He'd gotten so into coke he'd actually had a prosthetic leg of his turned into a pipe to free-based Coke with.

In the mid-80s you could often see him passed out, or borderline odied on some south-speech locale, dark times for Bojangles. He was spotted at least twice with time-set 56thopic, John Holmes, the creepy, abusive, coaked out horse-coct porn star who was also in Florida around this time, hiding out and avoiding a warrant for the Wonderland murders back in California. Two, three-legged cokeheads hanging out in Florida, real dark times for both jangles.

No. Sintek 26 was a joint operation, formed specifically to deal with Latin, drug-related homicides in South Florida. Miami's flooded by federal agents, local law enforcement finally had more firepower and than the gangs did. You know, and they were ready to put up a good fight.

And no fucks about this were given by Griselda. Later 1982, when Chucho Castro won a Griselda's hired shooters, kick their son as Valdó, out of his house after some kind of argument as Valdó was rumored to be a pecksylin' asshole, and the boss is kid, always the worst. Griselda sent Jorge Ayala, her most trusted hit man, one of the most feared hit man in Miami to shoot him. And Ayala accidentally killed Castro's two-year-old toddler son instead, shot him twice in the head. Two shots to the head man does not sound that accidental. Ugh, for a toddler.

He would later save the attack. The Ayala would, he would say, at first she was real mad because we missed the father. But when she heard we'd gotten the sun by accident, she was glad that they were, you know, they were even in her mind. What the fuck, man? So much for the task force,

really cramped her killing style. Also 1982, after allegedly failing to pay cash to a Brazil de Blanco for some cocaine, they had taken out on consignment. Miami coctular Alfredo Lorenzo and his wife became the victims of one of the brazel does most ruthless, bloody and infamous attacks. Three of Blanco's enforcers went into the Lorenzo household during dinner time, murdered the husband and wife in front of their three kids.

Blanco had actually ordered them to murder everyone in the house, according to testimony given later by Jorge Ayala, but he claimed that he made sure that the kids lived. According to Miami-Dade, homicide and detective Al Singleton, the son and one of the daughters of the Lorenzo family were found playing with the bloody dead body of their mother. Facts this woman was brutal.

Then a 1982 seizure of $100 million worth of cocaine from the Miami International Airport hangar, permanently altered US law enforcement's approach towards the drug trade, bringing even more heat into Miami. Vice President Bush, under another director from Reagan, established a South Florida task force, and then launched the most ambitious

and expensive drug enforcement operation in the nation's history up until that time. Despite this new task force, drug trafficking continued to flourish in Miami. Four years later, four years after it was began, even more Coke would flow into Miami. Coke was just too popular, man, to stop it was a prestige drug. It wasn't the drug of like back alley junkies, it was the drug of Wall Street, it was the drug of the nightlife, disco, club 54, New York scene. It was the drug of movers and shakers and people who knew how to have a good time. If you didn't have some

nose candy in Miami on the Saturday night in the 80s, you know, you weren't fucking living. You weren't partying. What do you, some loser? Doesn't know how to snort some blow. Come on. Let's do a few rails. Let's get out and have some fun. Coke is a good time drug in Miami. You know, it was a good time city. They're having a great time, apart from the murders in the 80s. Businesses, boomin, condos, homes, new businesses blowing up all over the city. The weather's always warm. The girls are in swimsuit shape, year round, man let the good times roll. And then there's Coke right in the middle of this party.

Hardly anyone even thought it was bad for you back then. It might give you the sniffles, might give you runny nose, who gives a shit man? Sniffle and snort motherfucker. Let's talk about something we didn't care about 10 minutes ago as if it's the most important thing in the world right now. Well, the next year in 1983, things took a brief turn for the worst of gazelle da, Dario Sepolvita made the mistake of leaving gazelle da, and made the bigger mistake of taking her youngest son, Michael Corleone, with him, heading back to Columbia.

Ayala would later claim that gazelle da had Dario Sepolvita shot and killed in Bogota with the aid of either police or men dressed up like police. Michael who came very close to dying in that attack, the same one that killed his father, has always vigorously denied his mom's involvement, blaming her enemies instead. I'm sure that's psychologically easier for him to do so. Man, three husbands and three rumors of having them killed. This is how she got one of her other nicknames, the Black Widow. And here I thought it was because she had a shiny black torso, a weird red hourglass looking birthmark on her stomach and ate very long very skinny legs and it points instead of feet. Turns out I was way off about that. By 1904 her violent ways had alienated her from

the Medellin coax suppliers Miami and from the other local drug lords she ran up a tab of nearly two million dollars to one important wholesaler, a female cousin of the powerful Achoa brothers and instead of paying her back when the pain was due, resulted in it said to have her tortured and killed with the help of her son, Asvaldo. This does not sit well with the Achoa's, the Medellin cartel, or anyone else, and six different assassination attempts are made

upon her life in Miami. Yeah, it turns out drug lords get super mad for some reason when they torture, you know, when you torture and kill a member of their family. Very sensitive about stuff like that. How reckless was she? How do you not think that's going to come back to haunt you? It just shows how vicious she was. Man, vicious to a fault. Like, she's in a business of violent, violent people. And even those people are like, man, she's fucking, she needs to calm down. We gotta get rid of Griselda. She's too much. She's too violent. She's too violent for

the drug game. And that violence cost her a presence in Miami, fearing for her life now the Godmother flees to California, her sons have been setting up incrementally over the last few years with a new Brazilian coke connection. And now Griselda lives a quiet life in Irvine with her elderly mother and youngest son Michael.

I saw some pics of her house there and it's very nondescriptcript, very typical kind of suburbs. Just a random 41-year-old clumpy woman and her mom and her son lived in the burbs. How strange is that that she could have been your quiet neighbor? It is so weird to me how we just don't know much about, or sometimes anything about the people who live

right next door to us, in most cases. I know I mentioned her before on this podcast, I think I have, but it reminds me of this little old lady who lived down the street from me, my quiet little town of Riggins, Idaho, when I was growing up. This lady wasn't friendly, but she wasn't that unusual. Just a little 60 something, a lady maybe early 70s. I guess the time, 60s when I was a little kid.

Then she was arrested in her mid or late 70s for either a parole violation or sneaking out or for sneaking out of prison a bit early. There was a warrant. One of those kind of work release things, if I remember right, where she just didn't return to prison one night after going out and working somewhere. Well, we'll turn out, please wanted her because what she'd went to prison for all those years ago was for killing both of her kids. She'd killed both of her children decades earlier in Texas. There was just a child killer living down the street in the form of this

sweet little old lady. Man, you just never know what secrets the people around you are keeping, do you? What do you think about that when you're falling asleep tonight? You welcome. Griselda was hiding but apparently not retired. She was overseen in nationwide drug distribution organization ran by her older sons, Uber, Dixon, Asvaldo, bouncing around between Miami, San Francisco and LA, distributing significant quantities of coke in all those cities. By 1905, federal agents who had been looking for her since her New York days, since Operation Banshee finally are tipped off to her general whereabouts and set up surveillance on her.

They had an informant, a former gazelle, an employee drug dealer who was serving time in Texas. The FBI got him out under the condition he located the godmother and he was able to locate her address for them. And on a Sunday morning, February 17th, 1985, DEA agents surround her home. And when they busted in her front door, they found the godmother sitting in a room, reading her Bible. That's a real detail. It's crazy. Who, who me? No, I'm not a ruthless killer in drug lord who brought my own sons into the drug trade. No, no, no, no way. I know I'm a, I'm a harmless little Colombian.

I mean, Venezuela lady. I'm, that's what my passport says. I'm, I'm not Griselda. I'm, I'm Lucretia. Well, Griselda was, was arrested by DEA agent Bob Palombo, who had been chasing her for 10 years on drug trafficking charges dating back to the original New York case and Her arrest barely made national news because in 1995 there were so many drug lords Sad sign of the times man 80s babies just so much coke

She initially tried to stick to her story, you know that she just you know Lucretia just some of the old housewife from Venezuela But the judge basically told her knock that shit off, you know, we got we got Prince dummy We know it's you. It says in Colombia, you can't just walk, you know, talk your way out of, you know, out of jail after getting arrested. Well, Blanco's trial, which began in New York in June, 1925, ended with only a conviction on one count of conspiracy to manufacture import in the United States and distribute cocaine. Despite being accused of several Florida slanes, she escaped murder charges, never even

charged with them, sentenced to 15 years behind bars. Man, all the shit she did, and she gets 15 years. Her three oldest sons, who had also been arrested, each got 12 years. Well, after going to prison, she meets a man named Charles Crosby, a former small-time crack dealer, 25 years younger than her. And while she meets him, while she's in prison in California, and if Crosby's later tales are to be believed, Reseldda was still at least marginally involved in the cocaine trade during her incarceration in the early 90s. Cosby showered Reseldda with cards and letters. And I think I said Crosby earlier, because I think I threw Crosby

in his name. His name is Charles Cosby, as in Bill Cosby, but less of a dirtback, strangely in the story. Visited her often, this guy, and looked after a young Michael for a while, they even managed to consummate their relationship every so often, I guess, by paying guards, let them sneak off. Grisilda would sign letters to Cosby,

saying, you know, your wife or your woman, and her three older sons, when they got out, supplied Cosby with high grade Coke to sell, making him rich, so he's part of the family business. And then when their romance finally ends, Gretelda nearly hasn't killed. Of course she does. You know, she uses her adolescence son Michael to help set him up for an ambush where he escapes with minor roots. She's the black widow man. That's what she does. Damn near four for four when he came to killing significant men in her

life. Clearly had some serious daddy issues, right? Some bad shit must have happened to her when she was a kid by some men back in the barrio. And, you know, dudes just kept paying for it. Also, according to Cosby, who would later testify against Krizelda and a Florida court, she revealed to him a plot to Kidnap John F. Kennedy, Jr. She wanted to have him kidnap,

and was gonna hold him hostage until she was flown to Columbia and relieved of her homicide charge. Man, ah, these people, man, fucking drug lords. And while all this is going on, until she was flown to Columbia and relieved of her homicide charges. Man. Ah, these people, man, fucking drug lords. And while all this is going on, Miami-Dade Sergeant Al Singleton and his SENTAC 2016, they're still racing to build capital murder case against her. Finally, pin some of those Florida murder charges on Griselda.

And also, while she's in prison, while she is safe from her enemies, her family is not, shortly after being sentenced to her brother, Louise, who ran ran a garage and shot to death while working on a car Her three sons were released long before she was and while Dixon was allowed to stay in the use Uber and Osvaldo were deported As Voldo tried to reestablish relationship with Pablo Escobar in the Medellin cartel But Pablo put a hit out on him in September 1992 Osvaldo was shot in the leg and in his shoulder in a Medellin nightclub And then he leapt off the club's balcony trying to escape and bled to death in the hospital. Little over a year later, Eskabar himself would be dead.

Uber returned to Medellin initially without incident, followed by Dixon while Grizeldas youngest son Michael remained in the US under the care of family friends, relatives, and a time strangers. At some point the Corleone was dropped from his name and he became Michael Sepolva de Blanco. In 1994 the Miami District Attorney's Office began taking deposition on murder charges against Griselda and she was transferred to Florida to face him. Jorge Ayala, her old number one hitman, her old top lieutenant merged as a spectacularly damaging witness having had a hand in some three quarters of the killings attributed to Griselda's organization by authorities. By agreeing to testify against her, he averted a death penalty case of his own. The government charged Griselda with three murders, for which they had the strongest evidence,

including that of Chucho Castro's, Tadar's son, and they sought the death penalty. But in 1998, their case collapsed when Ayela was found to have had phone sex with two secretaries in the Miami Dades' Attorney's Office. The scandal so humiliated prosecutor, Catherine Fernandez Rundle, that she chose to plea bargain with the godmother just to avoid any further scandal and embarrassment. God, that DA had to have been so pissed with those secretaries. Seriously, are you fucking kidding me?

You're having phone sex with our star witness. There is an entire city full of swinging Latin dick and that's the one you need to mess around with that the one you can't even touch, you idiots, you fucking idiots. Guess they were fired immediately. And how much game did Ayala have, right? I can never think how to say his name correctly,

but how much game did he have? Man, talk about a smooth talker. Well, in 1998, Blanco pled out under the terms of the plea deal to three second degree murder charges received a 20-year sentence, and then she'd only remain in prison in addition six years. She got some weird credit for time served for the other crimes. Man, she got six years, essentially, for ordering the murder of three people, including a toddler.

True travesty of justice. She should have been executed. And 2,000 her second son is killed in Columbia. Uber who shot to death will leave in a medine gymnasium, Grazel to blame Pablo Mejia, her one-time Miami collaborator, the dude she had Bayonetted 10 times. Yeah, people don't tend to forget getting stabbed 10 times with Bayonet.

I would imagine you dwell on that for a minute. You know, you Bayonetted me, you bitch. 10 times. Oh, you're gonna get it. You're gonna damn it. You are gonna get it every time I scream, my scar tissue hurts, my scar tissue, from my many bayonet wounds. 2004, Griselda is released as a free woman.

She has sent straight back to Medellin, Papal Mejia, probably would have had her killed as well, but he died in a car crash shortly before she returned home So lucky for her other formerly devoted enemies of Grazeldo such as Pablo Escobar you know they're dead Chucho Castro the father little boy, you know killed by Ayala in Miami was back in Medellin as well But lucky for gazelda he had somehow you know had a had a change of heart He lost his taste for revenge and he just kind of stayed away from his old drug life in contacts Upon returning home, she found her son Dixon, her oldest and a rehab clinic for coq's

used a serious coke addict. Of course he was. He'd been raised in coke, man. He was lining his mom's suitcase in coke when he was in grade school. He'd been shooting up people at a mall in his 20s and Florida for his mom. God, that's going to fucking kid up. Michael Corleone, though, somehow is still doing okay at this point. Reenters her life from the US.

Michael would end up getting arrested in a Miami Beach Dunkin' Donuts on two felony counts of cocaine trafficking and conspiracy to traffic cocaine. Later in 2011, this family could not just stay away from coke. Police said he was trying to buy five kilos for some hip-hop artists he knew, offering his payment a motorcycle, 10,000 in cash, and a diamond pendant necklace inscribed with the phrase, kill all rats. Yeah, that sounds like a cocktail, I guess. While she had lost her wealth from the 70s and 80s,

lost to wars, lawyers, frozen Panamanian bank accounts, Griselda retained many of her old Colombian properties. Doesn't seem very fair. But you know, she was able to hold on to them. She rented some out, sell others. She was able to purchase a large home in El Poblato, a community of Medellin, a home in a nice neighborhood that would remain hers until her death.

And then after a number of seemingly quiet years, on September 3rd, 2012, Grizel de Blanco, aka Lamadrina, the Godmother, the Black Widow, the cocaine cowgirl, the queen pin, so many nicknames. She was killed outside of butcher shop in Medellin Columbia, 3 p.m. on a Monday. When two men on a motorcycle pulled up

and one of those dudes shot her twice with a revolver, killed by a gunman on a motorcycle, man the assassination method she pioneered. Shot dead on the mean streets of Barrio and Tioquia, the crime den she grew up in. Who did it? Who killed her? Well, her deaths may have had to do with the scores of people.

She aroused as she murdered throughout the 1970s and 80s. Medellin papers wondered if Kuzilda might have developed ties to one of the small time drug trafficking gangs that wore endlessly in Barrio and Tioquia. She's still in the game after all these years, when she could have just lived off her rental properties. Which killed because of her rental properties. Man, she had four buildings in her own name,

more under other names. Maybe someone wanted them. Maybe she was loan sharkant, common practice in Medellin. Did the few people she'd been living with in her final years? A few people unrelated to the drug trade and some free loaders. Did one of them have her killed? There was just one woman named Carmen who was Griselda's age or just a few years younger who had in recent years become Griselda's constant companion.

Griselda had never characterized their relationship to anyone as romantic, but it could have been. There were rumors about her being bisexual for years. The walls of her final home were covered in nude paintings of both men and women. Some of them in orgy situations. She was apparently fascinated with orgy's. Couldn't find a thing that said conclusively she was like, you know, participating in a lot in herself, but probably, you know, she was fascinated with them and she was in the co-game.

And she was in, you know, New York and the club days. Am I, I mean, but probably, you know, she was fascinating with them and she was in the co-game. And she was in the, you know, New York and the club days, am I, I mean, the club days, yeah, probably, probably getting a lot of ass of various sorts. Did Carmen and Carmen Sun Franklin and his girlfriend, Yesica, who at the time who've griseled his death with seven months pregnant, did they conspired to have her killed?

Make sure they'd keep their gravy train moving along. I mean, they did continue to live in her house after her death and tell her son, Michael had them kicked out months later. They started driving her car, using her bank accounts. That's a little weird, a little sketchy. Did Tucho Castro, the father of that little boy

killed by Ayala in Miami all those years earlier finally decided that he just couldn't let that slide, man. New life or not, just couldn't let her live. Or did her drugged out son Dixon have anything to do with it? Man, he also lived off her. Maybe, maybe he hated her for bringing her into that world of drugs and murder in the first place man junkies always want to blame somebody other than themselves for their problems and she would actually been pretty valid person to blame Well, you know no one's ever gonna probably know apparently based on some sources

I read the local police had had no real interest in finding her killer You know despite metta yeen being much cleaner than it used to be there There's still enough crime to keep local detectives pretty busy And you know they felt they had more important cases to solve than tracking down the killer of a killer that I'm sure they were happy to have debt You know based on the manner of execution the only thing that seems for sure is that the life she led the life of drugs and murder is what eventually took her down Took her down after taking two of her sons taking down her brother taking down the three main men in her life Whether she killed her herself or not, took out countless friends and associates,

left one son of junkie, and the other I'm assuming currently in jail are just recently released from jail for cocaine trafficking and conspiracy to traffic and cocaine charges. Now when you name your kid Michael Corleone, you know you're never gonna walk away from a life of violent crime.

And when you choose to commit a life, to commit to a life of violent crime, part of you has to know that odds are, you're not gonna die of violent crime. And when you choose to commit a life, to commit to a life of violent crime, part of you has to know that odds are you're not going to die of old age. Reselter almost made it, man. She almost made it. But then she took a shot in the shoulder, took another one in the forehead at the age of 69. And that takes us out of this time Job soldier, you made it back, barely. All right, so now you know the nuts and bolts who grazeled a story, the basic gist of who she was, she grew up in a tough, crime-ridden neighborhood

where life was cheap, and that's how she lived her life. Doesn't make it right, but that's what it was, plenty of people, grew up in those same neighborhoods and turned out fine. Most people overcome the negative aspects of their childhood environment, I would argue, or incredibly resilient as a species. But environment does have its effects,

and Griselda grew up in an environment of vice and blood, and instead of rejecting that environment and rising above it, which is a choice you can always make, she embraced it, clearly. I don't know, that's just what I think, actually. Let's see what the masses think about Griselda. Let's check in with today's idiots of the internet. [♪ INTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ For today's idiots, I've perused the comments of a video called Griselda Blanco, the Black Widow,

cocaine godmother HD, posted by the YouTube channel MVV on August 2nd of this year, already has over 3,000 views. The video is a bio channel America's most evil gangsters episode a biography on Griselda and it's a good one in my opinion. It's only 41 minutes long, jammed with a lot of info, a lot of testimony, by people who were involved in her case or knew her or studied her. I watch the whole thing. Good summary of her life and darkest drug deeds. Well-produced show. Well user 12 T90 LSD 25 goes off on quite the rant. One of those comments, you know, commenters who just loves capital

letters. He writes, all right, I guess it could be a she. They write. This whole there, this whole there would be no Pablo Escobar is such all caps bullshit. Gotta stop here real quick man, so many typos. This hole there, I don't even fucking know this whole thing, maybe instead of there, is what he's trying to say. And he types no, like KNOW instead of NO.

And then for some reason, this I found very unique bullshit is in both caps and quotation marks, which is very confusing because they can't see each other out. Right, the all caps, I feel like denotes one would assume that you really think it's bullshit. Like when you put something on all caps, you're really, this is important. But the quote suggests that you don't think it's bullshit.

Like if you say someone's awesome, but you put awesome in quotes, you don't think they're awesome. Now if you put awesome in all caps, you think they're really awesome. But if you put them, you know, that they're awesome in all caps and in quotes, pretty mixed message. Pretty mixed signals start your rant off with, a guy who has a Confederate flag in his profile pic.

And then again, I say guy, I don't know. There's a Confederate flag in the profile pic. There's no picture of a dude. And then they go off, go on in all caps. She never made to Escobar status such bullshit. They take these stories and twist them. And I know that it was said in cocaine cowboys that and the also said that Fabio Ochoa was the biggest after doing research.

I found this to be true. Ochoa's Escobar. Then El Chapo, All of that was in the caps, all of it. And just a couple of comments, but no periods. Apparently, user 12T90, LSD25's period key is broken. It is not used periods, they do not use periods. All I got out of that was that they've done some research and that Brazil-de-envermated Eskabar status, which by the way, the documentary never claims. Not once.

I love that. I love when people leave comments where they're outraged by an aspect of someone's content that doesn't actually exist any place other than their head. Like, they've twisted the message of a video they've watched and misinterpreted, and then they become outraged at their own misguided interpretation. And they type, set outrage down in barely literate

form making it even more confusing and it's so common on YouTube where people rant and rail against a video they're just saying but what they're ranting and like raving about never was actually discussed in the video it's fucking pure insanity. You did not do any research, you did not do any, come on stop it uh... but they don't stop it uh... they do release the caps lock he saying next brisled a blanca was too much of a drama queen she wasn't a very good business woman

that's why her and her entire family are dead and i don't care who you are probably escobar was the biggest since el Chapel Guzman i don't believe for one second that had there been no brisled a blanco there would be no Pablo Escobar. That's just plain bullshit. Do the research yourself. Never assume these documentaries are 100% fact.

They're filmed and shown for entertainment purposes. More so than for fact. Thanks, user 12T90 LST25. I'm gonna come to you for my facts because you seem to know what's going on. You seem to be a fucking right-sh shining star in just a dark field of ignorance. Well, I did do my research. Because I did my research, I'm confident that you don't have any fucking idea what you're

talking about. They never said that she was on the same level as Escobar. They never said that. They never said that there would be no Escobar if it wasn't for her, not in that way. Like, he just, you know, he wouldn't have ever figured it out. They just, you know, they mentioned that she did introduce Escobar to Koch, which is probably true. That doesn't mean she built him into being a drug lord.

You know, neither she or the documentary claim net. So calm down, stop inventing meaningless drama that, you know, that then engages you and enrages you. I love that you call her a drama queen, by the way, when you are such a fucking drama queen. All right, next idiot. User VBS Network, who decides to pivot the comment section into an excuse to release some of their own anti-colonial anti-white rage on the web.

Posting, white people is a motherfucker. They are bullshit people. Just look how they came to the United States. This is not their fucking land. We all know that. But as soon as someone else or another nationality do some shit, they don't like, they consider us as fucked up. Wow.

Where to start VBS network? Well, first off, not all white people are motherfuckers. Some are, just like some brown people are, just like some black people are. Raced does not determine motherfuckerery. We can all be motherfuckers, right? It's equal opportunity when it comes to motherfucker, motherfuckerery.

And actually, this is the land of the white European man, in the sense that Europeans won the Battle of Colonialism. I'm not saying that's right, right? I'm not saying it's right at all, but the indigenous people of the Americas did try to fight off their European invaders and By any and all measures. They lost right they were killed exploited subjugated again not saying it's cool But it definitely happened. Let's not pretend it didn't let's not be kids. All right, but the war is over

One side won just the way things work and and and Turning you know going after drug cartels into another example of white oppression, pretty ridiculous. A task force was not sent into a press, the drug dealers, it was sent into protect Americans from Coke and not just, you know, white Americans, Americans of all colors. It was sent into slow the increasing rate of extreme violence, you know, for all the people in Miami. Why people have done some fucked up shit, man, for sure.

But come on, dude, capturing Griselda Blanco, not on that list. So ease up on the white hate. You've become what I'm guessing you hate, which is racist. And then there's user KDOT, who is more asshole than idiots. Commenting, can't watch because of the bucktooth prick, shame. Okay, so let me explain where this comment comes from.

KDOT is saying this because one of the sources used in the documentary has buck teeth. All right, and he's on screen, maybe three, maybe five percent of the time, and K. K. can't watch the documentary because of that. So that's so messed up. It's just buck teeth. What's the big deal? Right, what is the big deal? How does that bother you that much?

I can see not watching the documentary because like if his face was covered in boogers. Right? That would be grotesque and outrageous and very unnecessary and just confusing. You know, the whole time watching you just be thinking, how do they let him go on camera like that? They're, they're not even trying. Jesus, clean him up already. Watch, watch the boogers off your face. You fuck an animal. And why did you put so many boogers on your face in the first place? How did they get there? Are they even your boogers? Did someone else put boogers on your face? Why is anyone putting boogers on anyone else's face?

Like it would be so distracting. It would make the documentary unwatchable. I can see not being able to watch it every time the dude is interviewed. He has a dog on his lap and he's clearly petting the dog's balls. That would be a nerving. That would be a nerving and distracting. Just dude, why are you doing that? Never pet a dog's balls, not ever.

That's not the part of a dog you pet. There's literally never a good reason to pet a dog's balls. And why do you have to be petting them right now? Is this really the best time to pet your dog's balls? You're on camera, you're being interviewed. This will only make sense if you were being interviewed about why you pet your dog's balls. Is it even your dog?

But this guy just has buck teeth. You know, maybe you get a four braces, okay? Maybe he doesn't care that he has buck teeth. Why do you care? And I saw his buck teeth too, you know? I did, obviously, and you know what, they were clean. They were very clean, at least he keeps them clean. You know, I'd get the outrage if he had filthy buck teeth.

That's just unacceptable. It's like, dude, come on. You know that everyone's gonna look at your teeth. You know, they're sticking and outrage if you had filthy buck teeth, that's just unacceptable. It's like, dude, come on. You know that everyone's going to look at your teeth. You know, they're sticking and fucking way out of your mouth. You know that. If you're not going to angle them back into your mouth, at least keep them clean, right? Keep them real clean. No, okay, Dr. Topetti, asshole.

Oh, watch your documentary, but only if everyone's teeth are fucking perfect. There's two things I care about when I watch a documentary, accurate and compelling information, presentation of facts, and very nice teeth. Shame. No, shame on you, K-Dot. Shame on you for being a shallow idiot of the internet. It is an adventure that can get you that. Alright, so, Grazel to the black widow, the godmother, love Med. I'm going to say La Medina, I don't know what happened there. Not a good person, very bad person, but an interesting person to me, in a sense that she rose to a high level of power, making millions and run an organized criminal drug distribution empire in a very violent, very male-dominated world.

Not a role model, by any stretch of the imagination, but incredible that this little five-foot-nothing clombing woman, a woman who, you know, by the age of 45 already looked like a harmless little grandma Could do what she did And let's look back at what she did one more time with some top five takeaways Time suck tough five take away Number one, it's estimated that Griselda Blanco may have been responsible for approximately 200 murders Authorizing hits on entire families including a a few kids, and probably her first three husbands.

Number two, Griselda Blanco pioneered the use of motorcycles for drug hits, and then ironically was killed years later by a hitman on a motorcycle, killed by her own innovation, poetic justice. Number three, Griselda grew up in Barrio and Tiquia. Live there as a child during the two years that the neighborhood basically was lawless from 1951 to 1953. When you could do whatever drugs you wanted, prostitution was legal. The clubs ran 24 hours a day and the areas thieves and killers made the Barrio their home

base. Griselda would live in New York City, Miami, and Orange County, but really, she was always in the Barrio. She ended up getting murdered in the neighborhood. She's rumored to have murdered others in when she was only 11 years old number four Griselda was so enamored with the criminal life that she named her youngest son after Al Pacino's godfather character you know and this is the life that ended up taking the lives of two of her four kids her brother and

the lives of both her kids fathers before took hers and her other two kids her felons and ones continually out of rehab. The money and power rarely lasts long in the drug game. Griselda started with nothing and she ended up with even less. Number five new info. There is Griselda Blanco movie coming out this January. I got the YouTube link right here in my notes. You can get all my show notes on the time so I gap.

The movie stars, Catherine Zeta Jones as Griselda and it's now actually a lifetime movie. Or it's gonna be, it's gonna be in a few months and this is not one of your mom's lifetime movies. This is literally the first lifetime movie I've been excited to watch. I've always made fun of that channel my entire adult life. But this movie looks fucking awesome. Like good for lifetime man. This looks like a female version of Scarface or something. Holy shit.

Looks like they dramatize it in all the right ways. I've only seen the trailer but very, very good, very good. Nice to see Catherine back by the way. Always like to her as an actress. Time suck, top five takeaway. Alright, we did it. Episode 65 is in the can. And you can listen to it if you don't already on the new time suck app. Thanks for rating the app everybody and the Apple and the Google Play Store. I really appreciate that ratings anywhere and everywhere just help so much, especially good ratings.

Keep those trolls at bay. Thanks to BitElixir, thanks to that team for continually debugging the app, taking it in everyone's feedback, very old speed playback. Yes, I know a lot of you have written about this, that will be a feature coming to the app. Give us some time on that one. It might even take a month or two, because the app. Give us some time on that one. Might even take a month or two, because the app team is busy currently working on features

for the February 1st launch of the Space Lizard options on the app. Gotta get that topic list ready for the launch. The one you can vote on if you're a Space Lizard. Gotta get the voice message feature ready for that. Send in voice messages to be heard on the secret sucks show. If you're gonna be a Space Lizard, send in top as suggestions man,

text messages basically via the app. That feature is also gonna come. It's gonna be a feature for everybody. Hopefully pretty soon on that one. A tour date page is gonna come for upcoming standup and live podcast to link to. Photos I'm afraid are not coming, at least not anytime soon.

Not on the app or the website. That's a legal issue. Don't technically have rights to them. And I post a lot of pics anyway at time so podcast on Instagram. And I post a lot of picks anyway at times like podcasts on Instagram. And honestly right now, there's just too much other time consuming content that I gotta worry about to worry about picks.

So sorry about that. I'm glad you guys do like the feature so far. I think the app is a cool, stylish podcast player, man, he'll remember that. There's also a little Easter eggs in it, hidden there if you haven't found them yet. There's some places you can tap three times to have the app talk to you, so find that.

More avatar artwork will be coming eventually. I just have Danger Brain working on too much stuff at the moment. And speaking of Danger Brain, by the way, man, there's new Danger Brain merch, hidden the store this week. The fifth and sixth generation teachers are gonna be in and the first generation hoodie

and the first generation pullover hoodie. Six new products hitting the store, right? And I say six actually because the two T shirts have men and women's versions of them. So pretty cool man, keeping a lot of balls near right now, working on a lot of stuff. I hope you like it. Yeah man, the shirts are, the shirts looking good.

There's a red, hail Nimrod time suck shirt. There is a, I'm just looking at them right now. There's a black, cold to the curious shirt. Oh, they look really cool. I can't wait for you to see them. The pullover is a space lizard looking pullover. It's the lizard guy. He says cold to the curious. The zip up hoodie is a black, cold to the curious, a little more subdued design, but like super cool with the atomic symbol on it there.

Oh man, it's just really cool stuff. You have to see them. You know, I'll have them up pictures up in the store. I think it's early, I think it's early, but I think it's really cool. I think it there. Oh man, it's just really cool stuff. You're up to see them. You know, although I have them up pictures up in the store, I think is early as tomorrow. It's Tuesday. Starved elderly mole skin is the rare animal product I've chosen for the fabric on the two new shirts.

Turns out if you slowly starve an old mole to death, if you put it in a box with no food or water for solid two weeks, and then right before it does die, you violently smash it with a hammer while playing loud death metal and screaming like a banshee Well the fear does soak into the frail skin of the mole It makes for luxurious fabric and if all that seems cruel. Listen, you know what it it it is Yeah, Pita is up my ass right now about the shirts, but you know what fuck them I got to go with what's ever best for customer. Each shirt made from 251% domesticated, domestic, starved, elderly, mull skin. All right, the zipper hoodie is made with Arctic Fox tail skin. We trap Arctic Foxes with old pioneer, Arab Air Traps, and we cut off their tails.

And we leave the rest of the fox in the trap to attract other Arctic Foxes that we then also trap and cut their tails off And it takes about 30 tails to make one hoodie violent. Yes monstrous of course the will of Lucifina obviously But it's how you get a good zipper hoodie, okay? Each zip up hoodie is made from 400% imported Arctic Fox tail For the pullover hoodie I ended up going with hummingbird. I ended up going to the hummingbird tail feathers We catch we crush and we pluck the tail feathers from approximately 700 hummingbirds

for each and every pullover. So far, we've single-handedly caused three separate subspecies of hummingbirds to go extinct. But you know what, that's what gets you a fucking soft pullover, okay? Each pullover made of 605% hummingbird tail feathers imported, totally worth it, all right? Oh, a little note on the shirts here

The size is a little different than the ones previously. They are not the Bella tribe lens The first four generations danger brain prefers to use next level teas, which are also super soft, but definitely a slimmer fit a little bit So get a size up from what you wear, normally they're between a half to a full size up from some shirts. I go back and forth between large and extra large and T's. I definitely wear an extra large when it comes to next level shirts,

but I like them very much. And eventually I will get more stickers, a new sticker pack, ship along with merch. I just been so busy, touring like a maniac, getting a podcast studio created, which is what you have to do when you live in Corteline Idaho, not like there is an existing studio

to use or move in, do there. Gotta make it yourself, which I do love actually. I'm a control freak for sure. And you know, just trying to figure out a new way of touring. It's gonna take a while to iron it out, but hopefully I can get down to doing just like Thursday, Friday, Saturdays, and then just be home in the rest of the time.

And obviously take a lot of weeks off, hang out with the fam, work on the podcast. As far as the first four shirts, books and CDs that were in the store of the time. And obviously take a lot of weeks off, hang out with the fam, work on the podcast. As far as the first four shirts, books and CDs that were in the store, my vendors, as we approach Christmas are just fucking backed up. I tried to pay more to cut to the front of the line, you know, and get my other shirts going products,

you know, faster, but no go, which I do respect actually, but I'm working on all that. Thanks for all the iTunes and Facebook ratings and reviews again this past week, man, we're over 2000 ratings on iTunes, which is incredible. It really helps us stick out, helps more people find the show. Any place you leave a rating is so important. It really entices new listeners to join. There's so much content out there. I just depend on you

guys to let people know how to find it. Really, word of mouth and ratings, man. Nothing beats those two things. Word of mouth especially, man. Just tell them you'll, but as I thank you guys for let me know you do that when I see it, the shows. Also, amount especially, man, just telling people about it. Thank you guys for letting me know you do that when I see it the shows. Also, TimeSuck, man, it's getting on YouTube steadily now. Had a lot of big files to upload just because of the bad catalog, but it's happening, put them up there.

Special thanks to TimeSuckers G Witherspoon, Travis Heimer, Scott Schultz, Jen Killian, Justin Adkins, and more for suggesting today's topic, hope I did it justice. So your suggestion does not get lost, please email them to both angles at timesockpodcast.com or just on the new website, you can just go to this contact, the show, and you can send it straight into the new website.

That feature is coming soon to the app. We're working on making it so easy. Thanks to Sidney Shies for killing it on social media each and every week, Harmony Velocamp for men, killing it as well with all the secrets the secrets suck stuff and the Snapchat stuff she's been doing Jesse Dobner for his editing editing wizardry once again huge thanks to PayPal Donators Daniel Jarvis and Nicholas Bedito Man super generous this past week. Jeez man. Thanks to all you guys who donated thanks to you Those you who hit the Amazon button to do your shopping, you know go through the website it all of it helps it all helps Okay, bonus episode coming up, man.

This Friday, bonus episode 14 is gonna be the Oak Island mystery. I'm so surprised. I thought for sure, Luciferina was gonna swoop down and pick the night stalker, Richard Ramirez, that's Cyrillic Killer, he got the least amount of votes. Oak Island barely edged out David Kuresh in the branch Davidian cult compound in Waco.

Both Kuresh and Ramirez will get sucked at some point for sure, but Oak Island is Friday. And then I think about Eleanor Roosevelt after that, man, it's going to be an inspiring suck a week from now. Be sure to follow the suck on Instagram at Timesuck Podcasts to vote on future bonus episodes. And soon you, Space Lizards, will be picking half the regular episodes. I'm excited to see, you know, where you steer me.

You know, what will be the will of Nimrod? Okay, now let's check in with the cold to the curious time for Time Sucker Updates. Okay, I'm not exactly sure what this first update is, which episode it's regarding, but I do remember one point saying that Bill Clinton was almost impeached over a blowjob. I know I did say that, and that is Clinton was almost impeached over a blowjob.

I know I did say that, and that is not true. Sorry about conveying what I meant to say incorrectly. Kevin Kuntz and others pointed out that Bill Clinton, or maybe it's Kuntz, Kuntz, it's kind of a rough last name. Kevin KUN TZ pointed out that Bill Clinton did not almost get impeached by getting a blowjob in the White House. He almost got impeached for lying about said blowjob for perjury and obstruction of justice charges. That's an important distinction.

And I was guilty of furthering the false narrative that a blowjob is what cost, you know, almost cost Bill Clinton the White House. So that's not true. Lying about it is what almost cost him the White House. Okay, pizza gate. Oh shit. Let's get this out of the way. I said last week that I was gonna get some angry emails about pizza gate and I was right. Too many to include. All of them in this episode's updates, but the gist of them was that I was favoring liberals.

I wasn't, I just, you know, it happened to be this story was perpetuated by some people in the right. And, you know, just like it doesn't make any sense to be pro liberal the time, it also doesn't make any sense to shy away from bashing some of the things some conservatives have done if they've done some fucking shitty things. And I just do not buy for a second that these insane satanic pedophile accusations, it truly feels like medieval ages kind of thoughts. I think evil has a lot of, there's a lot of evil that politicians commit. Both Republicans and

Democrats, but I just don't think it's cartoonish. It's not some outland, just satanic pedophilia scandal. It's just, it's not some weird illuminati shit. That feels like witch hunt stuff to me. I think the evil agenda politicians often commit is committed right out in the open. Right in front of us, it's stuff like, you know, given giant corporations, legal leverage to exploit the common worker, letting citizens bear more of the tax burden, you know, you know, letting huge, immensely profitable corporations

bear less of that burden. You know, I just think, I think Reaganomics has been motherfucking us for decades now. I think we should all be focused, in my opinion again, liberals and conservatives coming together focused on keeping big businesses from taking over the entire nation if they haven't done so already. But I did fuck up, I didn't relay any of the actual Pizzicate emails as extremely worked

up and agitated time-soccer Greg Dian pointed out. One of the many angry emails he sent me this week, all right, let's take an easy Greg. An email with a subject of fake news, sad, exclamation point, greg wrote, comments, I don't care if it's completely fabricated. The dumbass story behind Pizzagate is what makes Pizzagate entertaining.

The difference between Pizzagate and space lizards is if someone asked me what a space lizard conspiracy was, I could go on for 30 minutes about moon dwelling space lizards that would literally grind a dinner party to a standstill in a matter of seconds. If someone asked me about Pizzagate, a bunch of crap about fake news sat. Well Greg, I disagree with your sentiment. I think the fake news angle is by far the most interesting angle on Pizzagate.

I carefully walked you through how a few fake posts turn into a giant tornado of misinformation and how that could happen about anything. That to me is far more interesting. Not sure how that equates to a bunch of crap about fake news, but okay, this topic seems to have triggered you at least my approach to it. And you are right, I should have included at least one example of text from one of Podesta's original emails

as opposed to just phoning it in, as you accused me of doing in another email, actually just copying and pasting emails and then joking about it would have kind of been phoning it in, or at least would have been the easiest way to do this episode. But anyway, here is an example of an email conspiracy, theorist point two, or excuse me, of an email, conspiracy theorist point two is proof of the pedophile ring.

This is the email apparently that started this entire conspiracy. You know, there was a bunch more after this, but this is like the first main one. It's from someone at the Sandler Foundation, writing Hillary campaign manager, John Podesta. And it just said, the subject is, did you leave a hankerchief? And it says, hi, John, the realtor found a hankerchief. I think it has a map that seems pizza-related.

Is it yours? They can send it if you want. I know you're busy, so feel free not to respond if it's not yours or you don't want it. Susan. And then, Susan and Herb, I just came from checking the field house and I have a square cloth hankerchief, white and black, that was left off the kitchen island. Happy to send it via mail if you let me know where I should send it. And this is how someone interpreted that email.

If this is not speaking in code, then it makes absolutely no sense. Not a single person from Podesta's legal team, nor mainstream media has been able to offer a coherent explanation of what this could mean. If actually, pizza, or if it's actually, I guess he's trying to say pizza and map related, this initial email merely mentions the cloth is white with black, which is then translated

by Podesta's personal sister into containing a map. Hankerchief code for sexual preference is a well-documented phenomenon. Cheese Pizza has long been known as code for child porn and pedophile communities comprising the deep web of fuck dude. Ease off the ex-files buddy, Jesus Christ man, wow talk about seeing what you want to see, creating smoke with's no fire. This is why I didn't examine these emails because the shit is mind-numbingly dumb. It's so stupid it makes me very angry actually.

Does this email make sense? No, it doesn't fucking make sense because it wasn't meant for us, right? It doesn't include the context of previous non-email conversation possibilities. It doesn't have a glossary of inside jokes and inside references, right? It's shorthand, which is the way people who aren't childlike idiots are able to communicate with each other. People who aren't complete fucking morons

don't need to simplify every message to its most basic and understandable tenants. People don't write messages for the public to see and they shouldn't have to. I bet people could read a lot of craziness into some of all of our emails. You know, they sure could with mine. I'm gonna give you an lot of craziness into some of, you know, of all of our emails. You know, they sure could with mine. I'm going to give you an example. This is a text exchange, but, you know, I just used text into the email because it was easier to find this. And, you know,

I say the same kind of things and emails. This is a text exchange I had with a buddy of mine that I worked with on some reality shows with as a writer. And I'm going to leave his name out of it. And I'm just going to refer to his name as B in case you wouldn't want me to put this out there because you know it was a private message change. Okay, here's here. I just was just one screen full. I could use many examples. B says, I feel unsafe Dan to which I replay.

Oh God, no, tell me where you are and I'll have the police release an amber alert to which he says I'm in a Hollywood mobile gas station bathroom masturbating in the metro stall. Before I came in here here I saw a suspicious Indian man behind the counter also I heard some rap music coming from a car that drove by about 12 minutes ago and the little crying emoji emoji to which I say the police will be there any moment you've done nothing wrong you're safe now the Indian guy is already dead to which he says

oh thank god this exchange is again one of the least offensive exchanges I could have used out of the examples we have. Does it make sense to anyone but us? No, it doesn't. It's a private conversation built on years of inside jokes and references, right? They're just kind of like the inside joke is kept building and building, taken out of context.

It looks totally insane. Right? It's our little joke world that we created, you know, that we built up because we know each other. Their context is what makes this email, you know, text exchange makes sense. Why can't more people understand the importance of context? It's unbelievable how fucking socially idiotic so many people are like, people who can have jobs, they can raise families, but they can't figure out an inside joke to say their fucking

life because socially they're complete fucking morons, I guess. Well, Pizza Gate is a rumor started by conspiracy theorists and it is kept alive by idiots. I'm sure more angry emails are gonna come in because of that statement and I will respond to none of them because it's a waste of energy. It's a waste of time. But again, it's just all my opinion. One that I clearly strongly feel. It's a huge pet peeve of mine. This shit. Feel free to disagree, you know, like iTunes reviewer, Crackio who posted on December 4th on the Times.co reviews, he posted,

I was a fan until I listened to the Pizza Gate 9-11 episodes. I'm shocked, someone who seems so smart can eat up all these official stories and believe every detail from the government. Eat up every word, just every detail, right? I just, that's what I'm doing. Did you hear the JFK episodes? Have you heard me really against the powers that be in so many episodes? Far from eating up every detail. Right? I just don't eat up the dumb ones.

Okay. All right. Let's end this week's update on a much more positive note. So many of you send in touching heartfelt messages. By the way, as I'm looking at my notes, there's so many fuck ups in my notes. I do want to say that really quick. When you look at these PDFs, these are notes that were never designed for anyone to be read, speaking of exchanges that weren't supposed to be read by the people. They were never supposed to be read by anyone but me,

but I know you guys wanted them. So I've released the PDFs, but they're not like clean. There is a crazy amount of typos. There's misspellings, there's sentences, there are incomplete, it's just for me to get my thoughts down. So there's the gist of it, but it was never meant to be like a book. I'm not writing a novella each week. I think it's way more written out

than people probably expected, but yeah. If you're like, hey man, I noticed a typo on the notes, fuck, yeah, you'll notice one on every single episode and you'll continue to do so, cause I don't have the fucking time to revise these things, to make them nice and polished. Okay, so many of you standing these touching messages. It means a lot to me when you do, it keeps me going.

And this is one of the ones that really got me this week is from Time Sucker Jennifer, not sure if she wants to last name release because of the personal nature of this message. It says, Hi, Maestro Suck. I wanted to share this with you because it meant a lot to me. And I think you have the kind of heart

that it will mean something to you too. Yes, it did Jennifer. I am 16 years older than my brother, and we've always been super close. He fell while I was babysitting him when he was five and he had brain surgery and survived. Then he refused to eat until I came back from IMSectomy when I had cancer because of a joke I made

about being hungry and killing for some chicken breast or something like that. And I, and he realized I couldn't eat before surgery and he didn't want me to be the only one who felt hungry. Also, you guys get a special relationship. He, he cried my whole wedding when he was six explaining in his speech that I was his best sister and how he wouldn't let me get taken away. That's adorable. Now he's 18. And last year, he got kicked out by our mom because he was going to be removed by the Department of Child and Family Services. He courageously sought help after admitting to me. He was so depressed due to his dad's recent stroke.

My mother's subsequent neglect and blame. Yes, she told him he was to blame for his dad's stroke. That's pretty fucked up. And he would play a game where he would sit on the train tracks with music blasting head down. And one of three things would happen. The song would end and he would move, a car would honk and he would move or the train would come and I guess he would die. He moved in with me after that and I expected to be happy.

But instead my mom tried to strangle me. Then turn my family against me to hide. Sorry, I don't, yeah, there's my brother missed his senior year because the school thought his life was too much for classes and put him on a computer class And I couldn't talk to them because I wasn't a parent and most significantly I saw a Marriage that I was in and how much I didn't want him to think it was normal I found myself despite thinking I was too smart to end up here in an abusive relationship Which turned into physical abuse from severe psychological abuse when I started to stand up to being told no one loves me Then I was a fuck up who failed everybody. Oh man good for you good for you for getting out of that when he's spit on me

Jesus Christ talking about the husband here when he spit on me after Christmas Spent alone my little brother decided he had enough and unfortunately he lost his 16 year relationship with my ex My husband was arrested for domestic violence and is taken into trial instead of taking a plea bargain to get counseling for a year because he's an idiot. I know a long story. I'm sorry, but I wanted you to understand all the stress trauma dysfunction abuse and other crazy fucking issues that we've had to face to bring us to a point where me and my brother's relationship had become broken. He blamed himself for my divorce. I blame myself for not giving him a happy home. He felt like he had failed to be there for me when I got kicked, you know, when I kicked my count. I was so depressed, I couldn't get out of bed. I got diagnosed with a rare autoimmune disease and possibly cancer, but definitely I'm riddled with tumors and have to go to the Mayo clinic due to the complexity of it.

This would be my 10th major surgery, not counting shit like it in my wisdom teeth out. And I have no one to help me through that except my 18-year-old brother who wants to be a normal college kid. He didn't ask for this. And we found ourselves on a road trip from Chicago to Texas to see our parents and we were fighting about everything every day leading up to the trip or every conversation it seemed everything was toxic our relationship was over broken Irrevocably we couldn't understand each other anymore and I knew I wouldn't get reception in that fucking terrible state Nebraska I mean not my emotional state. I listen to small-time murder and crime in sports where they talk about you all the time and I thought your podcast

seemed like something my brother might like. So I downloaded some episodes and we listened. He laughed. We talked about the episode. We still fought. I downloaded more episodes. We laughed more. We talked more. He listened to your show in bed. We talked more about the show about our life, about how fucking dirty Texas is. And at some point, we stopped fighting, but we rolled into Chicago listening to Time Suck. I honestly thought I wouldn't live long enough to laugh with my brother again. If it wasn't for your podcast and are twisted

and fucked up, sensey humor, something you have to have when your heart is broken, your whole life, I think, I don't know if we would have. I think we listened to the Caligula episode first, and I had to pull over because we were laughing so hard about you having to Google fishing. Yeah, I'm an idiot sometimes. I wanted to thank you.

I am hoping to make it to Detroit with my brother Josh, but I just wanted you to know that without knowing it, you were changing my life this week. You were saving my soul. I don't just mean as Nimrod, God and ruler of the universe. Wow, thank you, Jennifer. That was intense, man. That was been beautiful. I'm so glad that silly fucking show could have been

some small part, had some small part in helping your relationship with your brother, man. Sometimes I just think I'm a mush mouth, a fucking moron who can't make a decent show, who is just as bright as incapable, but you guys remind me that it matters to you. And whether you agree or disagree with all the shit I say, I just hope it does make you think.

It makes me think, clearly makes a lot of you for it and then think, I hope it creates intense discussions. Man, discussions are deep in their relationships. We have with those around us, man. It's so important. You know, small talk only gets you so far. You just feel all you engage in a small talk. You start to just lose touch with the people you live with,

you know, in a lot of cases you start to just lose touch with the people you live with, you know, in a lot of cases. Stop knowing who they are anymore. Man talking about like real shit, having intense discussions, discussion when people get mad, get fired up. It's fucking important to have those, man. Just, you know, breathe some life into your relationships. But you know, it's nice to be able to have someone in your life to talk about everything

with someone who isn't going to judge you for how fucked up your thoughts may be. You know, that's so important. So important to have that honest real relationship. And sadly, I feel like it's pretty rare. So I hope I can spread a little bit of that. Well, keep me up on your updated on your illness, Jennifer. I hope you get better. Please get better.

And it sounds like you're doing the right steps to take care of yourself. And keep talking about all the fucked up shit With your bro in this fucked up world of ours and keep deep into that relationship and And fuck everybody who doesn't understand how important that it is to have that in your life Next time suckers I need a net. We all did Well, that's all for this week. I hope to see guys in Appleton, I'm Madison, Wisconsin this week. Wisconsin.

Hope you don't join the drug trade. Hope you don't bring your family into that dirty business. Hope you don't get them killed. And for the love of Nimrod, keep on stockin'. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Thank you.