Timesuck with Dan Cummins - 71 - Stalin: Russia's Ruthless Man of Steel

Episode Date: January 22, 2018

Joseph Stalin. Icon of the 20th century. Personification of Soviet might. Catalyst of the Cold War. Hero to some, monster to many. The Man of Steel who brought the Soviet Union to the world stage and helped end WWII while simultaneously terrorizing his own people (including Chikatilo!) and bringing his fellow communists to their knees. What was previously viewed as a backwards country, quickly rose to a world superpower under his determined, sociopathic drive. The numbers vary wildly, mostly due to propaganda and secrecy, but estimates range from a conservative 3 million deaths to a terrifying 60 million murders under his long, horrific reign. And today, we dig into his life, beliefs, accomplishments, crimes and more, on a cold-blooded, communistic edition of Timesuck. You can now signup to become a Space Lizard!!! https://www.patreon.com/timesuckpodcast . Sign up through Patreon and for $5 a month to listen to the Secret Suck, which will drop Thursdays at Noon, PST, starting Feb. 8th. Starting Feb. 1st, you will get 20% off of all regular Timesuck merch PLUS access to exclusive Space Lizard merch. You will also get to vote on two Monday topics each month via the app. Voting for the following month's 1st Monday topic will end midnight PST on the previous month, and voting for the following month's third Monday topic will end on Midnight PST on the last day of the month. And you get a new comedy album delivered on Feb. 1st, Feel the Heat! Speaking of new comedy albums... Merch - https://badmagicmerch.com/ Want to try out Discord!?! https://discord.gg/tqzH89v Want to join the Cult of the Curious private Facebook Group? Go directly to Facebook and search for "Cult of the Curious" in order to locate whatever current page hasn't been put in FB Jail :) For all merch related questions: https://badmagicmerch.com/pages/contact Timesuck was brought to you today by Audible!! Start a 30-day trial and your first audiobook is free! Go to audible.com/TIMESUCK or text TIMESUCK to 500-500. Timesuck was also brought to you by Leesa! Try a Leesa mattress in your own home for 100 nights risk-free. Get $100 off when you go to Leesa.com/TIMESUCK Please rate and subscribe on iTunes and elsewhere and follow the suck on social media!! @timesuckpodcast on IG, @timesuckpodcast on Twitter, and www.facebook.com/timesuckpodcast Philadelphia, PA The Punchline January 25-27th. CLICK HERE FOR TIX! CHICAGO! Zanies Comedy Club in Rosemont January 31st - Feb.3rd. CLICK HERE FOR TIX! Baltimore! Magooby's. Sunday, Jan. 28th. CLICK HERE FOR TIX! For all other standup tour dates - go to the new www.dancummins.tv

Joseph Stalin icon of the 20th century personification of Soviet might catalyst of the Cold War Hero to some monster to many the man of steel who brought the Soviet Union to the world stage and helped end world war two while simultaneously Terrorizing his own people and bringing his fellow communists to their knees What was previously viewed as a backwards country? Country of peasants and farmers quickly rose to a world superpower under his determined sociopathic drive. The numbers vary wildly, mostly due to propaganda and secrecy, but estimates range from a conservative

3 million deaths to a terrifying 60 million murders under his long horrific reign. And today we dig in his life, beliefs, accomplishments, crimes, and more on a cold-blooded, communist-dick edition of Time Suck. You're listening to Time Suck. Yeah. Wait. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Happy Monday suckers, hail Nimrod, praiseable jangels, praise Lucifina, or begun Lucifina. Not sure what to do with her sometimes. I like a naughty female authority figure. I'm a not-eat-female authority figure. I'm Dan Cummins, this is Time Suck. Recording from the Suck dungeon again today

with media myestro, triple M and Jimmy Ingram, the apprentice slash crooner, Joshua Crel. So much cool shit happened right now. Couple of big announcements, very excited about it. I have a new album I'm very happy with, called Maybe I'm the Problem, and it's dropping this week. And the first 90 days you can hear it only on Pandora and you get to listen to that album as an album no bouncing

around to other various tracks for free. So click the link in today's podcast description to listen to my new stand-up album maybe I'm the problem on Pandora Premium for free. The link gives you a free 30 minute trial of Pandora Premium so when time is up just come back, click the link again and you'll have enough time to finish the new album again for free. You don't have to be a paying Pandora user to listen. This is a special feature Pandora worked out just for this album. How cool is that? Also the link only works on your mobile phone and if you're still having trouble just to just make sure to update your Pandora app.

So you have the newest version of the app, and that should take care of it. So check that out and let me know what you think. Finally, I also have some secret suck news for you future space lizards. The Patreon account is live for those of you who want to sign up early to become space lizards next month. You won't be charged $5 until February 1st. It's $5 a month and that's when the new space lizard features arrive on the app and the website That's one another album another second album feel the heat more stand up will be available for space lizards and space lizards only You get to you get the download link so you can listen to that bad boy, put it in whatever device you want, and that's also when the first piece of space lizard exclusive

merch comes out, February is when the secret suck podcast comes out. We can vote on topics and all that fun stuff. So the age of the space lizard almost here, link to the Patreon profile that is your ticket into the exclusive world of being a space lizard in the episode description. And Patreon, by the way, just being used to collect the $5 a month, you won't have to go to Patreon to get features of this new podcast.

It'll be right there in the app, right there on the Time Stock website for you space lizards to enjoy. Just you know, portions of the app, portions of the website that only space lizards can access. So can't wait to see how far we can push this whole space lizard concept, working on some new secret space lizards can access. So can't wait to see how far we can push this whole space lizard concept, working on some new secret space lizards or handshake,

but the fam right now, I'm not even joking, working on some secret codes, code of ethics, all kinds of stuff. Gonna have a real fun club going here real soon, a cult of the curious. So all right, very excited about all of that. Also thanks to you Providence for the island suckers who came out this past weekend,

Mooy Appreciando, which islish for you guys the fucking best. That's how it translates. More shows this weekend. Philadelphia, get out to the punchline January 25th, 27th. Tickets have been selling fast. Make sure you grab those. Get to Baltimore Sunday night, January 28th, McGubbies, Chicago, January 31st through February 3rd. Tell me your common design.

It's an amazing comedy club. One of my favorites in the country, a foreshore that I performed at, going to be at the Gotham comedy club in New York City one night only, and that is going to be February 11th. So be sure and get those tickets. Detroit February 16th, the Magic Bag and Ferndale with the boys from small town murder One show is the swap cast the other standup, but I believe it is sold out if not there is literally just a handful of tickets left Minneapolis March 2nd third podcast sold out stand-up tickets still available And the stand-up right now is very time suck-esque. So you will enjoy it if you're not a

Necessarily a stand-up fan Cleveland hilarities March 22nd to 24th, live podcast, Spokane, Washington, one show only, Sunday, May 6th. More announcements at the end of the show, including that very special time-sucker update. The ITs last week, and now, suck on some Stalin. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ All right, suckers, before we suck on Stalin,

before a little Joseph slam himself into my brain hole, let's go over some communist terminology. The following terms and brief bios are given in no particular order of significance to today's tale, there is the proletariat. The proletariat is a laboring class, especially the class of industrial workers who lack their own means of production. And hence have to sell their labor to live. It is the lowest social or economic class of a community. And those are your factory workers, your maids, your butchers, construction workers, the people boxing up, your Amazon goods, people packing up your groceries, etc, etc, etc.

Then you have the bourgeoisie. Now the bourgeoisie are members of the middle and upper class. Class or group of people with social behavior and political views held to be influenced by private property interest, a social order dominated by capitalists. This is how a Merriam Webster defines the term. I define the bourgeoisie as old money and go getters, right? Just, woo, people, people doing some shit.

Now, but when talking about how communist use the term, the bourgeoisie is de-factory owner, right? Just, woo! People, people doing some shit! Now, but when talking about how Communists use the term, the Virtualized E is de-factory owner, the land owner, the purchasing control in the means of production, the people who hire the proletariat, the people who make their money off of the labor of the proletariat and also can exploit them and sometimes do, the people who manually stimulate farm animal genitalia for fun and profit.

The proletariat are the have-nots that the bourgeoisie or the haves and the animal diddlers. They are the elite diddling ruling class. Now, I just made up that farm animal genitalia. Not sure that is a societal role of any sort and it certainly has nothing to do with the bourgeoisie. Demuluse of phenophrine, encouraging such tasteless depravity in the suck.

Now let's talk about Marxism. Marxism is the belief that proletarian revolutions are a natural inevitable consequence of capitalist societies, resulting in socialist societies that eventually transform into classless, stateless communist societies. Karl Marx's theory of what he saw

is the natural evolution of humanity. Basically, Marx felt that socialism would inevitably give way to communism. Communism is defined as a system in which goods are owned in common and are available as needed to all, like a theory advocating total elimination of private property. So what really is the difference between socialism and communism? Basically, communism is an extreme form of socialism. If socialism is someone who likes to cut loose on the weekend, communism is someone who is fucked up at work

Tuesday morning at 9 a.m. And it's not from the night before. It's from one of the several flasks they have hidden around the office. Under communism, individuals are provided for, are compensated based on their needs and effect meaning that in a true communist system, you wouldn't have money

and you'd simply be given what the government thinks you need to survive in terms of food, clothing, accommodation, et cetera. Sounds fucking terrible. Central to socialism is that individuals are compensated based on their individual contribution. People that work harder or smarter receive more than those who don't contribute.

Socialism sees individuals still having their personal property, but all industrial and production capacity is communally owned, managed by consensus or by government. Socialism is the is the diet version of communism. Socialism is at its core and economic philosophy, whereas communism is economic and political in its requirement that the government be the central owner and decision-maker. It all matters. Mother Russia will take care of you. Give all your goods and talent and heart and soul to Mother Russia, and she will provide you with her communist teeth for you and your family to suckle on to get everything you

need, their good comrade. Essentially, if socialism were religion, communism would be a cult. In a socialist society, you could have socialized health care, socialized education, but you could also make a lot more money than your neighbor. It can be a little complicated because two governments can be both labeled socialist but actually operate quite differently. Like Canada and Sweden have socialist elements to their governments, Canadian citizens don't have to worry about a medical tragedy, bankrupting them like we do here in the US.

And Sweden, you won't be crippled with student loan debt for college because college tuition is free. You can still go into massive debt as a college student in Sweden based you won't be crippled with student loan debt for college because college tuition is free. You can still go into massive debt as a college student in Sweden based on the high cost of living as far as rent, groceries, etc. go, but tuition itself free. That's a socialist element. One class can't buy their way into a better education, the same way that you know, you can do in the States. In both of those examples, you can become a wealthy private citizen still.

Here in America, the term socialist tends to have an extremely negative connotation, even among the poor, which I've always found to be odd. If higher education isn't socialized to some degree soon, odds are pretty soon your kid is not going to go to a good school unless he or she is rich. The real cost of higher education and how it affects our society at large, that's an entirely different suck we we got to get into someday. But again, socialism doesn't have to be the opposite of capitalism, like a Marcus person. He's that Swedish citizen who founded Minecraft. You've probably heard of it. If you're a parent, you definitely have been a billionaire since his mid 30s. That motherfucker. I'm very jealous, openly jealous. Who wouldn't

want all that sweet video game money? And he gets nearly free healthcare if he decides to leave his Beverly Hills mansion and visit his homeland in Sweden, which I doubt he does, doubt he needs to do, since he has enough money to just go by an entire IKEA store just on a whim. And that's socialism, you can still get rich. Not so with communism, communism is anti-capitalism. It's socialism minus all of the fun parts.

And communism has never worked out in reality like it doesn't theory. It always ends up being an oppressive shit show. Think about how Jim Jones' little experiment with communism ended up in South America with everybody dead. Under communism, and it's true, Marxist theoretical ideal form,

you know, you wouldn't have more than your neighbor, everyone's fucking equal, everybody gets along, everything's fair in the sense that everyone leads, you know, they're equally shity depressing hopeless life, you know, college would be free, but it also be dependent on the state for everything, you know, you work at a collective farm or the teacher is a lawyer and the state gives you what you need to live.

However, that everyone is equal shit, only works in theory. Even in Russian, early 20th century communism, some people still had more than others. Higher ranking party members, those in better favor of the Communist Party, they lived in the nicer houses, they drove the better cars, a better food, etc. They also worried about the real threat of the state being able to take everything away from them at any second.

It's like in North Korea, time suck episode 45, the state decides where you live. Do you get a nice house? Or do you get a shit hole apartment? Do you live downtown or out in some fucking piny village? Now, it depends on what your value is to the state and how loyal you are to the state. If you are an important scientist,

developing an important military secrets for the state, you know what, you're gonna live in a nicer place in some dull eyed motherfucker peeling potatoes in a shed. However, if you suddenly get in a car accident and your scientist brain don't work no good no mo, uh, we know what there goes your value. There goes your nice dicks. Have fun peeling those spuds there, Dr. Dodo brain communism while I like its theoretical focus on equality and the apoverished not being continually exploited like they can be under capitalism has always sounded like a nightmare to me. Well, one

version of communism in early 20th century Russia was Leninism based on the philosophy of Vladimir Lenin. Lenin was the leader of the 1917 Bolshevik revolution. He was the architect builder, the first head of the Soviet Union. We heard a little bit about him in TimeSuck 47, Russ Puten.

He's one of those guys that really helped bring down the long reign of the Russian Zars, and move Russia away from being a monarchy and linanism like marxism believes that a proletarian revolution isn't ever in a half have not society and that socialism follows and leads to communism however uh... he believed that a proletarian dictator needed to lead the way from socialism to communism

you know the people need a firm leader uh... to make everything fair for everyone. A leader who you cannot question without fear of death. A leader that you, you know, don't get to ever vote out of office, ever. Just, you know, just, hey guys, this king shit does not work. And we need to know a totally different system

where essentially one guy is in charge. Wait, what, that's what we already had. An equal society where everyone is given equal treatment a communal society with a single firm handed leader who decides who lives who dies who gets anything uh... okay that sounds like a worst in the market actually uh... how convenient for lennon okay a little bit more about this lens that of the bitch

uh... Vladimir illich uh... ulyanov aka lennon a name that was a pseudonym actually. A lot of these Bolsheviks had to have pseudonyms stay hidden from the Zars before the Revolution hit. Led Soviet Russia and Soviet Union from 1917 to 1924. He was the leader of the Bolshevik Revolution in 1917 and held connections with the group that unceded the Romanov family and the monarchy system of government replaced it with communist

ideals. He was well educated, well cultured and avid reader, came from a wealthy middle class and politically active family, and he had watched as a young boy as his father's job as a public school inspector was threatened due to the government's fear of education. He bore witness to the tragic loss of his older brother Alexander who was executed for participating in a plan to assassinate Zarr Alexander III. If you remember that from the rest, Putin episode, Alexander was Zara Nicholas's father.

Later in life as a young man, Vladimir would be exiled for participating in political protests, which only led to a more solidified and radical set of beliefs for him. During his time in exile, spent primarily in Switzerland, London, and Munich, he read voraciously,

mostly reading American comic books, such as Pudi and Juju, a slapstick precursor to the humor of Charlie Chaplin and Abbott and Castello. Pudi and Juju were known mostly for their famous back and forth, you know, of stuff like, well, I never said anything, nothing, no, how, Pudi. And then zip it, Juju, you share squawk a lot for someone who ain't never said nothing. And they also coined, uh, someone famous phrases, phrases. Put it in your lunch box, Shirley. Park it in the shed. And two little two little pooty.

And somehow the pooty and juju stories, kind of softened Lennon's initial thoughts on communism and turned, I helped turn him into kind of more of a benevolent leader who didn't take himself too seriously. Yeah. Yeah. All right, Lennon was a self-serious man. Very self-serious man who I'd never call benevolent.

Dude was a cobbled killer and he didn't give two shits about Pudy and Juju. No one cared about it It was a very very unpopular comic book do primarily to the fact that it never existed too little too little Pudy Anyway, I can't wait to hear how many of you Bleeding Pudy and Juju for what anyway Lenin particularly found purpose and power in works by Karl Marx and in 1889, he declared himself a Marxist. Lenin went on to become a lawyer, often had clients from the peasant class. This gave him firsthand accounts of witness

to what Lenin viewed as an unfair, unjust class-based system. He solidified his role as an advocate for their Puliteria class. Again, in 1895, after continued activity with Marxist groups and political protests, he was exiled to Siberia for a period of three years. I was a popular move for the Zars, man. Someone's a problem.

Fuckin' kick him out to Siberia. He moved to Munich for a short time before returning to St. Petersburg and intensifying his political efforts. In the early 1900s, under the failing leadership of Zarnicolus II, the Communist movement gained traction and Lenin split for many of his Marxist allies in the Mankshevik Party, creating the Bolsheviks at opposition, and he was exiled again. This time, spending most of his days in Switzerland,

reading those comic books, putting your lunchbox, Shirley. On the wheels of World War I, Lenin returned home to a war-weekened country, Lenin rallied under the slogan of peace, Lenin bred appealing to the peasants, proletariat class who had been disposed, hungry, a deposed, excuse me, and weary of fighting for decades and had become increasingly wary of the bourgeoisie.

By the way, how shitty are conditions in your country when you can rally a revolution around peace and bread? Not gonna get a lot of followers in 2018, America promising more bread for people. When you can get free loves of bread, or brought to your tables, it's so many restaurants. Texas Roadhouse, by the way, fucking great bread. In 1917, Lenin led the October Revolution

overthrew the provisional government that had been set up after the outsteaded and murder of the Romano family. Civil War followed and Lenin developed a ruthless strategy to maintain control that became known as the red terror. Two little two little pooty. Effectively all opposition was murdered, which technically is the best way to get rid of the competition.

Hard to be constant murder of those who oppose you if you can pull it off. I mean Starbucks, you know, it's super popular, sure it is. But they would have a much bigger market share if they just started bombing the fuck out of their competition. Like literally bombing them, just raising their abilities to the ground. You know, Caribou, coffee, Dutch brothers, Tim Horton, Duncan Donuts, just whoever else opposed their iron caffeinated will.

Famine, poverty and unrest filled Lenin's reign. Lee and Trotsky and Joseph Stalin became part of his elite circle and necessary governmental tools. Trotsky was a showman and an idealist. Stalin was brute force. On his deathbed, Lenin expressed regret for the way his rule failed in communist theory and emerged as a dictatorship and he warned his closest allies to be wary of Joseph

Stalin and Stalin's climb to power. Now let's talk about Trotskyism. Leon Trotsky was one of the architects with Lenin of the Bolshevik Revolution and also a Marxist. Another communist revolutionary, he disagreed with Stalin on various aspects of communism, especially when it came to the end of a goal of communism,

which he believed to be essentially eating as many tasty kind of capitalist babies as you can. That's definitely the weirdest aspect of Trotskyism, the focus on infant capitalist cannibalism. No. Unlike Stalin, Trotsky wanted to take over the entire world and rebuild it in this kind of communist image. He wanted to do it quickly. He was a big advocate of one world government.

He felt a natural evolution of the revolution, was to spread communism globally, whereas Stalin wanted to focus on building communism within Mother Russia and make Mother Russia, you know, the central power of the world, and there can be satellites, but, you know, not as powerful as they are and their own, own nation. After Lenin's death, he vied for control of the communist party with Stalin and when Stalin rose to power, he was exiled and then later killed by a stolen assassin, little more info on Leon and his eventual assassination, pre-intense.

Born Liv Bronstein-Trotzky, Leon was an avid Marxist who was initially part of the Mank Civic Party as was led in. Just before the October revolution of 1917, he joined the Bolshevik Party underlendent and quickly rose in ranks and became one of the seven leading members of the party. In the early days underlend it he served as the people's commissar of foreign affairs, later became the founder and commander of the Red Army. He received high praise for his leadership and ending Russia's civil war. Trotsky was an excellent orator, will cultured and intelligent. He knew that violence was a necessary means and revolution, but he didn't have the stomach to be as ruthlessly violent like stolendit.

Stolend and trotcure in many ways opposites after Lenin's death and Stalin's hostile rise to power trotcure was stripped of his duties banned from the communist party and eventually exiled from the entire country. Despite all of this he never ceased to be an outspoken opponent of stolendism after several European homes trotcure his wife eventually moved to Mexico in 1936 and were warmly accepted by President Lazaro Codenius. They lived in Koyo-Kan, a neighborhood in Mexico City. With fame artists and admirers, Frida Kahlo and her husband Diego Rivera, Trotsky went on to have an affair with Frida and publish a book titled The Revolution Betrayed, A Harsh Attack on Stalin's Rule.

In 1939, after a fallout with Diego Rivera, no doubt related to his affair with Frida, husbands tend to get like really annoyed at people they admire when those people fuck their wives. Trotsky and his wife moved to a nearby home. Shortly thereafter, in the summer of 1939, Trotsky was assassinated with an ice axe, seriously, an ice axe. Barried a couple inches, Barried one, a couple inches into a skull. An ice axe looks like an ice pick on one side

and it's like a short steel wedge on the other. I don't know if you've ever seen a Polasky, growing up and I, I'm gonna live it on the country as a kid. I used one, it's like a little shovel-like tool. It's kind of like firefighters use them to help kind of like carve out, you know, perimeter around fire. It's like a plaski has like an axe on one side and kind of this wedge on the other. Well, this axe has the wedge on one side and just this ice pick on the other.

It's just fucking scary looking. looking basically it's like a scarier axe uh... to have sunken into your skull like i would never want some to think any kind of acts into my school but if someone was like hey man uh... we're gonna have to smack you in the head with an axe that that's the bad news but okay that's the bad the good news is that we're gonna let you pick between you know like a traditional lumberjack acts and and ice axe and they showed me both of them and i'd be like you know i don't i don't think that the second part really qualifies as good news

but i am gonna go with the lumberjack special uh... well stahlons reach and desire to silence all opposition found trot ski in mexico through remote marketer uh... a spanish communist who work for stahl secret police, the NKVD, and Markator served 20 years in a Mexican prison for killing Trotsky and then received awards from Stalin, including the hero of the Soviet Union upon his release. I'm sure that made 20 years in a Mexican prison just totally worth it. Just, you know, just, sure, I spent 20 years in prison and country known for notoriously

bad prisons. The subhuman food and constant threat of rape and violence was terrible but I did get this super cool medal and in officials certificates I'm a Stalin so you know overall worth it. Bad news permanently scarred, mangled barely functional rectum. Good news super cool medal like really cool. So put it in your lunch box, surely So who are these Bolsheviks I keep talking about Well, they were a political party formed primarily in exile led by Lenin They were born out of the Marxist Russian social democratic labor party in

1903 I guess they just they couldn't narrow that down to two or three words Everybody had to get a say and ended up being like a fucking 19 word party If you you remember from the Rasputin Suck, Russia was ruled by Zars at the turn of the 20th century. There was also political parties forming initially underground and in secret. And then with the almost revolution in 1905, when there's our realize, he was going to lose his throne. If he didn't make some concessions, kind of get his shit together. That's when Nicholas II agreed to relinquish some of his autocratic power and he gave the people of Russia a parliament with limited legislative power, the Duma. In reality, they had no legislative power, not really, not anything for any consequence.

The Duma was a governing body composed of the members of various political parties and then he would Nicholas would dissolve the Duma. He retained the power to do that and then rebuild it at any given time. If there was a bunch of people there who didn't really care for him, he would just fucking shut it down and start in with some new people that he had handpicked. And then prior to the revolution of 1917, that's kind of how he operated for a while there. So if you were a party that was against the Zards, you had no real power and you were liable to be kicked out at any time with the Zara's cronies, you know, thought you were a rabble rouser, you know, and you were also liable to disappear via exile or execution, which is why Lenin, you know, chose to grow

his revolution abroad. And then we have Stalinism. Another form of communism created by Stalin. Now, Stalinism is defined as a theory and practice of communism developed by Stalin from Marxism, Leninism, marked by rigid authoritarianism, widespread use of terror and an emphasis on Russian nationalism. Basically it's the most fun lighthearted version of communism you can find. It's so much fun.

It's communism with a party hat on. No, it was a fucking nightmare. It included rapid industrialization, collectivization of agriculture, the subordination of the interests of foreign communist parties, to those of the communist party of the Soviet Union, deemed by Stalinism to be the leading vanguard party of the communist revolution at the time. In other words, much more rigid, controlled, and focused on industrialization than the other forms of communism.

Also a cult of personality similar to North Korea's communism. Russians were never taught that Stalin was a god, like North Koreans are taught that Kim Jong-un is a god, but they were taught to believe that he was like this father figure, and he was godlike in his love and devotion to the people of Russia. And it empowered other nations such as Cuba and North Korea to become communist. Communist satellite nations ultimately subservient to and dependent on Mother Russia. Okay, so one more term before we really get into Stalin's rise to power, Chico-tiloism. Chico-chico-tiloism.

Sorry, it's tricky word. Chico-tiloism is a belief held by many time suckers that it is somehow very funny for an impotent late 20th century Ukrainian child rapist and murderer and topic of time, suck 57, to make random cameos in historical lessons that have absolutely fucking nothing whatsoever to do with his life or his story uh... chico teelois uh... seem to enjoy uh... a silly russian accent what is big deal what is big deal constant references to a shamecock a limp cock of shame is being a big distance and also uh... strange how you say a claim of fame for Chico Tilo and a never-ending

desire to rassle children, you know, and masturbate in public, including orgasm in his pants as if that should somehow be socially acceptable. What is big deal? I rassle kids who teach physical fitness and make strong for Russia, and sometimes common sweatpants. How that big deal? How about for anyone if Chico Tilo tug Tog on the limp shamecock inside pants, like a mother bird, the Tog on the warm

from morning to yard ground. I see no humor in Togging and the rossling. So, you know, those are some important terms, you know, to know when we're talking about Russia. So basically, to understand where Stalin is to communist and communist Trump, you just need to understand that for a long, long time, Russia was a feudal monarchy ran

by the Zars, and the Zars and the minor nobility around them were the Havns, and the overwhelming majority of Russians were the Havnats. There was the royalty, a very small, wealthy class, largely comprised of some type of noble that the monarchy relied on to manage the peasants, and then there were the peasants themselves, mainly comprised of farmers who, for most part lived poor shitty lives. And that's why Marx's notions of the poor rising up and overthrowing their masters was appealing to the average Russian. That's how the revolution got going.

They were tired of being exploited by the crown. Nicholas II was a poor ruler. He was run on the market into the ground in the early 20th century. Russia's gotten slapped around in a few wars like World War I and the Russo-Japanese War. You know, so National Moral was low. There was a food shortage. You know, several of them. There was widespread economic disasters.

You know, Russia was just this fucking feudal like backwards farming society. And meanwhile, the rest of Europe is quickly industrializing. Russians were the pinies of Europe if you caught last week's episode. Well, look here, nah, got some peed. Tessies peed. I've already got them a woman's beard. Communist ideals became very appealing. You know, Russians and Longwood rule by the Zars. The Zars having strong ties with the Russian Orthodox Church. And this combo of God and crown just wasn't working for the average Russian. And then within the Marxist revolutionaries,

they just had different ideas of how Russia's a transition into communism. And eventually, Stalin's ideas one-out and shaped the Soviet Union. He enforced his ideals with an iron fist and a lot of death, so much death. So let's get into it. Let's get into the life of Stalin

with the time suck timeline. Joseph this onovich a jugglesveely was born December 1878. He was born in 1978, guys. He's a very recent history. Now he's born December 1878 in the struggling village of Gory, Georgia, to an impoverished, dysfunctional, uneducated family. Stalin was the third child born to Biserion and Ekaterina called Kiki, Juga Svili.

The previous two had died within months of being born which is actually very common in this part of the world uh... the previous two babies actually killed themselves which obviously not normal for most parts of the world however uh... infant suicides were super common russia and in george and you know those those kind of surrounding eastern european nations the soviet unit actually going to have that the highest suicide rate amongst

infants uh... the world ever seen uh... only recently being surpassed by north Korean babies a lot of babies in these areas uh... you know of what would later be the Soviet Union just can instinctively realized in the first months of life of shitty and terrible hopeless life was how much worse it was gonna be in the moment they learned a rollover they would just roll themselves out of the crib so you know

cots or you know fucking cardboard type you know cement boxes whatever and it's kind of just you know, cots or fucking cardboard type cement boxes or whatever. And just smash their heads under the cold Russian floors of their concrete shits. And of course that's not true, babies do not kill themselves. Stallone's childhood nickname was Soso, which I'm sure was just a cute meaningless nickname in Georgian or like Russian culture,

but what I was thinking, what a cruel nickname that would be to give an American child today? Just you know, what's up Soso? What's Just, you know, just what's up, so, so? What's up, average sauce? What's up, nothing special? What do you look all down and out? Does it have anything to do with your family? Continually referring to you, is nothing right home about?

All lighten up, no big deal. His father, Bizarreian, was a relatively successful shoemaker during Stalin's early life, but unable to keep up with changing fashion, and likely suffering from depression due to the loss of his first two children, Bazarian sank into alcoholism and just became a kind of, you know, a drunken mess of a human being. Poverty ensued, the family was forced to move from one dump to another, Stalin's father became abusive and his mother, a devout Christian, took refuge in a local priest's home where young Georgian Stalin would learn the Russian language.

In 1884, Stalin contracted smallpox and was left with lifelong facial scars. His family immediately changes his nickname from Soso to Fugli, which I'm guessing means something nice in Russian. Probably doesn't mean Fugli, I don't think. Of course, that's not true. In 1888, Kiki's hard work pays off. She's able to send her son Joseph to school. The first in his family to attend, she deeply desires that he become a Russian Orthodox priest. So at age 10, Soling goes to the Gory Church School, which was normally reserved for children of the clergy.

Kiki was either shrewd or honest in claiming that Stalin's real father was a deacon to get him in there, and that Bizarrean was not his biological father. Scandos. Whether she was telling the truth or not him in there and that Bizarreon was not his biological father. Scandalous. Whether she was telling the truth or not it worked and he got in, Stalin clung to and encouraged a story later in life, although the general consensus amongst historians is that Bizarreon was likely his real father. Stalin was said to be one of the best students, but also the nautiest student in class, nauty

Stalin, nauty sooso, bad future dictator. He was excitable, active, pro-demistchief. He formed and led a rough gang of children that often fought other kids. It was known for its cruelty and its downtime from, from thug life. He was also a choir boy. The old choir boy by day, thug also by day routine.

Classic Soso. In 1891, at 12 years old old Stalin is injured when he is hit by a horse-tron carriage. His left arm is left permanently disfigured and disabled. His arm had to be reconstructed by an extensive surgery, leaving it permanently shorter than his right and stiffened at the elbow. Man, extensive surgeries in 1891 had to be a motherfucker. Right? Pan killers and surgery techniques not nearly as evolved as they are now. During the same year as this injury,

Stalin's father takes him from his mother's home to Tiffless, the capital of Georgia, Bazarian takes his son to work at a local shoe factory and so he can learn to be like a cobbler's apprentice. And this was one of Stalin's, first few work experiences in a capitalist society and it was harsh and unrewarded and he hated it. Yep, a little bit of hard work in his out.

If only he could have been a Jewelers apprentice or a well-paid banking assistant, maybe things would have gone differently for Russia. With the help of teachers and priests, Stalin's return to his mother, which officially ends Kiki's marriage with Pizarrian, who then stops all financial support. In February of 1892, Stalin's class has taken on a field trip of sorts to watch a public hanging of several peasant bandits. The viewing did not have the desired effect of being a crime deterrent on Stalin.

Instead, it pulled sympathy from him for the plight of the poor. This evening it had a lasting impact on him. Maybe in the primary catalyst towards his role in history as a communist revolutionary. Man, late 19th century, George's field trips, no joke, huh? Okay, children, change of plan for field trip. We no longer go to zoo and look at penguins and polar bear. Instead, we go to town square to watch mass hanging of dirty trade of thieves.

So no more visit to monkey exhibit. Instead, we watch flicker of life extinguish from eyes of starving poor people. Cut stealing food to provide for dying babies. Please, no crying for thieves. Any child that cut crimes shall be beaten harshly for showing sympathy for enemy of state. Now, line up for horse-thrawn carriage of bus thingy and a smile for class picture.

Smile, it's fun field trip day. All right, let's take a quick break from Communistic Misery and talk about today's first sponsor. Today's time suck is brought to you by Audible. Audio books are great for helping you be a better you. Whether you want to feel healthier, get motivated, or learn something new. And with an unmatched selection of audio books, original audio shows, news, comedy, and more, Audible has all the audio content you need to start your year on the right foot.

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left off. So start a 30 day trial and and your first audiobook is free. Go to audible.com slash time suck or text time suck to 500-500. That's audible.com slash time suck or text time suck to 500-500 for a 30-day trial, and your first audio book. You can do it with audio books. Links available to all of this at TimeSuckpodcast.com and on the TimeSuck app in the episode description back to Stalin. July of 1893, Stalin is recommended to seminary school in Tiflis.

Georgians are a minority in Tiflas, and his native tongue is prohibited. Stalin is proud of his heritage, however, and publishes some poetry in Georgian under pseudonym, and he performs well academically for some time. Stalin went on to learn about Darwin's theory of evolution there, which was in a front to Russian orthodoxy. He also developed questions regarding the problem of evil, which focuses on the idea that evil cannot exist

with an omnipotent, omnipresent god. Among other things, this led Stalin to become an atheist, which meant the end of Kiki's plans for her son to become priest, despite her years of labor and laundry and gathering money from family and friends to make that happen and hope that he joined the clergy. Man, if you guys think I've been hard on religion, I got nothing on Stalin. Communists would go on to ban religion entirely in the Soviet Union, just kick the Russian Orthodox church

and all other churches, just ride in their church dicks, just kick them completely out of Russia. As annoyed as I can be with certain fundamentalist branches of religion, banning them is never the answer. When we look into history and examine all the atrocities committed under the name of Christianity, for example, that doesn't lead me to believe. And I hope I haven't come across this way. It doesn't lead me to believe that Christianity in and of itself is evil, or that it's the reason for killings. Take away Christianity or Islam or

any other religion in my opinion. And I think various bad people just find new justification for their hatred, judgment and murder. Religion isn't the problem. Human nature is the problem. In my mind, it's similar to my gut feel on the gun debate. Get rid of guns, and I do truly believe people will just find another way to kill each other. To me, guns aren't the real problem. People wanting to kill each other are the real problem. That being said, I do think certain guns make mass murder

way too easy, and I don't think all guns should be legal. Extreme example, you shouldn't be able to bring a fucking gattling gun into a mall and just hand crank that bad boy around and light up the food court. But back to solid gun control or the lack thereof, it's entirely different, very complicated, and trigger-inducing suck. No pun intended, by the way, I just thought of that.

Stalin became increasingly difficult at school. His grades dropped, he was often in trouble and showed a disregard for the norms of the school. Groot grew his hair long, joined a secret band to book club, started listening to a lot of Leonard Skinner, a lot of Led Zeppelin, about can just, you know, a lot of pot, started, you know, just dropping a lot of acid.

No, wait, I got the hair as wrong. No, but he did do his hair out, joined a secret band lot of pot, saw it, you know, just dropping a lot of acid. No, wait, I got the, my air is wrong. No, but he did do his hair out, joined a secret band book club, disruptive in class, read a lot of Poodie and ju-ju, just two little, two little Poodie. In his band book club, he and others read history, philosophy, pro-revolution works, other liberal works, band books.

Can we never do that in this country again, by the way? You know, the US does have its own history of banning books. So ridiculous, such an affront to personal liberty and freedom. So arrogant of a government to think it should determine what's safe for its citizens to read. Pro-Centorship people, by the way, some of my least favorite people ever. Right?

Like, you know, Tipper Gore, when he was trying to censor, to-live, criminal stuff, just get the fuck out. I'm never the love it or leave it guy, or if you don't like it, you can get theipper Gore, when he was trying to, if I could, you know, censor, to-life criminal stuff, just get the fuck out. I'm never the love it or leave it guy, or if you don't like it, you can get the fuck out of this country. But if you don't like free speech, just fucking get out. That's where I will become that guy. Just get the fuck out of this country. You dangerously ignorant, simple-minded piece of shit.

Go to some other place where they fucking censor you. Live that life. Stalin also read Capital by Carl Marx, which was convenient timing, given the socialist movements were on the rise in Georgia. Stalin began seeking out others with Marxist ideals and socialist groups, but found most to be too moderate. Eventually encountered some written work by Lenin,

under the, you know, who was writing under the synonym of Tulan, Stalin dropped out of seminary school, just a few months shy of graduation and joined the revolution. You know, I don't like the revolution, Stalin joined, but how cool would it be to join a revolution? I mean, seriously, how exciting is that shit? Can you imagine just walking away from school or walking away from your job? Just walking away from all your normal mundane responsibilities of making sure your tax forms are filled out right and, you know, and making sure this fucking

eyes are dotted and the teas are crossed and these documents and making sure right and, you know, and making sure this fucking eyes are dotted and the teas are crossed and these documents and making sure you get, you know, you get milk at the store that night and you know, all these fucking, making sure your cable bill is paid. All that goes away and you're just, you know, you just fucking arm up and you just, part of an underground revolution to overthrow a government.

Getting killed or imprisoned for doing that, bummer, that part would be a bummer. But other than that, sounds super cool. So in 1899, Stalin joins the revolution underground community and goes by the code name of Coba from a book called The Patricide. In the fall of 1899, Stalin begins working at a meteorological observatory,

but then is arrested in early 1900 because of his father's death. So apparently his father failed to pay some personal debt. And this is the debt he doesn't really have much contact with anyway. And it was the son's responsibility to ensure that these debts were taken care of under the laws of the land. How much is that suck? Man, that policy was around today.

I would be in jail right now. Zing! That was a little joke against my dad. That was a joke for one. I hope you liked that. My sister Donna. I'm guessing you did. This may have

been technically legal at the time to do for Stalin, but it was most likely a veiled threat. A warning for Stalin to get his act together and quit fraternizing with Marxist groups. Kiki hears of her son's imprisonment quickly goes to Teflis with money she borrowed from her wealthier friends to pay the tax debt. By May of 1900, the charismatic Stalin had gathered a bit of a following. He spread in his Marxist knowledge through social, or excuse me, through secret meetings. His first major speech was delivered to roughly 500 workers at a secret location outside the city. He called for workers to strike and indeed inspired many to do so, despite this being a dangerous thing

to do and contrary to what Marxists were doing at the time, most were staying much further underground. On the night of March 21, 1901, Stalin narrowly misses a roundup of local rebels by this r-secret police. He is on his way to work at the observatory. When he catches wind of what is happening, he stays on the tram, rides past the observatory, never returning to that job. Then he just kind of proceeds to live off donations from sympathizers and the charity of friends and the subsequent months.

Things heat up further for Stalin after he helps plan a large demonstration for May Day in 1901. 3000 protests were show up and several are wounded in 50 are arrested by Kossak police. Stalin escapes capture again. Stalin tends to meet for the Russian social democratic labor party and is elected to one of eight positions. And then in November, Stalin commits what is likely his first murder. The Russian social democratic labor party sent him to batumi, a port city, and he uncovered

one of the Tsar's secret police officers who was trying to infiltrate Marxist circles and, according to legend, has him killed. Not sure if he pulled the trigger or if someone else did it on his behalf, local group members are divided by Stalin. Some support him in his tactics, his violence while others fear that he is discrediting them and discrediting their cause. Stalin found a job at a local warehouse and oil refinery owned by one of the Rothschilds actually the Illuminati.

One night while at work, the building caught on fire and workers rushed to extinguish the flames and saved the building, Stalin had organized workers to demand compensation for doing so. Rothschild refused initially and Stalin organized a strike. Well, in February 17th, the workers demands were met and an additional raise was given. Everything's looking good. Then six days later, the company fires nearly 40 workers and the so Stalin responds with another strike. Many of the lead strikers are arrested. Stalin organizes a protest outside the prison and they attempt to storm the prison, storm the building.

Kossak officers arrived, killed 13 protesters and wound over 50 more. This hits national news and Stalin is wanted now more than ever. On the day of the funeral, Stalin hosts another demonstration that brings 7,000 participants together. On April 5, 1902, he is arrested and then sent to a betunally prison where he continues to spread his revolutionary propaganda and Marxist ideals. In 1903, he shipped off to Siberia

for his continued trouble making, the old Siberian exile, nothing comes a man down, like a few years in Siberia. How sad for the people who actually choose to live in Siberia? Like how sad that your homeland just has a widely known reputation for being just kind of one of the worst shit holes on earth Like a place that never comes up on a list of popular travel destinations

Like you never hear like where'd you guys go in your honeymoon? Siberia. Oh cool. How was that? It was fucking terrible. We spent two weeks bundled up and a beat up old shak try not to freeze a death and eat nothing but broth Made from an old boot. While in Siberia, the RS-DLP splits between the Bolsheviks, Lenin and the Mensheviks, Stalin attempts to escape on two separate occasions to join them. First time he is forced to return due to frostbite, he endures thanks to the extreme conditions of Siberia. Damn you Siberia, you freezing, heartless monster.

The second time he's successful and is able to make it back to Teflis while the Russo Japanese war begins, Stalin encourages that they organize their own Georgian Marxist group which draws anger from many of their members. In the end, Stalin joins the Bolshevik movement, who was the main minority group in the politics of that area. Stalin continues to rally his cause by regularly debating with the men's civic party and calling for more hard-edge movements, less compromise with the middle class. He was just, yeah, he's always fucking hardcore about his ideals.

Things swing. Stalin's and the Bolsheviks way in 1905, on bloody Sunday, a group of on-arm protesters who are marching towards the Winter Palace, of this art to deliver a petition to Zardinicka List the second a petition signed by more than 150,000 people asking for better working conditions are fired upon by Imperial Guards. The official count of dead by the government lands it over 90 while the revolutionaries claim

more than 4,000 deaths. Little, you know, numbers are a little off. I love that I'm guessing it's probably closer to four thousand. I love that the government's like, nah, you know, we fucked up. We definitely pulled the trigger. So sorry, I think in the end we killed five or six people. Actually, it was 15,000.

Oh, we forgot, oh, you know what? I forgot to carry everything. I forgot to carry all the numbers Yeah, the nation is outraged Civil unrest breaks out with ethnic factions battling class or battling in class system struggling Excuse me stout stalling among others organizes malicious style groups to keep the peace with locals rage government supplies and weapons Launches attacks on the government's caustic police caustics retaliate killing 60 student demonstrators and Stolen responds with the bombard the bombardment of more organized attacks So now it's like a real revolution

November 26, 1905 Stalin is elected to one of three Georgian Bolshevik delegate positions when Nicholas the second forms that parliamentary Duma is a way to keep his people from further revolting You know allows people to participate at least feel like they're participating in Russian government Maybe they'll calm down. This tactic would buy the Zarbino about another decade to rule, and then, uh, and then shit would be over. Stalin meets Lenin for the first time this year.

He respects Lenin, but has his own ideas regarding communism. We talked about earlier, Lenin recognizes Stalin's potential, encourages him to stay active in the revolution. Well, then Stalin proceeds to support the cause anyway he can, man. Uh, he's robbing trains to provide funds for the Bolsheviks. Upon returning to Tiffles, he discovers that the local rebels have been subdued and instantly helps organize the assassination

of the military general behind subduing them. He then organizes a small group of 10 trusted members of the Tiffles group, leads them through a variety of criminal and violent movements, including bank robbery, movements that aid the Bolsheviks and help pay for Stalin's distribution of propaganda. I mean, he was fucking gangster. He was willing to die for his cause. In April of 1906, Stalin attends another Russian social democratic labor party conference led by the Mensheviks' majority. There's a lot of disagreement on how a Gregorian land should be handled and whether or not funds

gained by robbery should be allocated. Lenin and Stalin believe they should allow such funds to be dispersed. Yes, sorry, not allocated earlier, just allowed. Like the men's eviction were like, I don't know if we should accept stolen money. And Stalin was like, we're gonna fucking take it, we need it. July of 1906, Stalin marries Kato, Svenitsi, an educated independent woman

down with his communist yearnings. A woman who also softened Stalin and he was madly in love with her. She was religious and the hardcore atheist Stalin even agreed to marry her in a church. In September, Stalin attends another conference in Tiflis, only six of 42 delegates are Bolshevik. The remaining are Menshevik. Stalin openly despises them. On September 20, Stalin organizes his group of ten in the Robb a steamship.

His new wife, Kato, was arrested for ties to his revolutionary activities. And soon after her release on March 18, 1907, she gives birth to Stalin's first child, a son, Yakov. Now, you might know him as Yakov Smirnov Senior, father of popular 80s comedians, Yakov Smirnov, who's one of Stalin's grandkids. America, what's the contrary? No, Yakov has no ties to Stalin.

Pretty sure Stalin would have had Yakovs from enough killed rather than listen to one of his terribly corny comedy shows. Sorry, sorry, by the way, if you are in love with Yakov. He's probably a super nice guy. Very sorry if you are Yakov. Just, you know, really not my style,

just to each the run, I guess. June 26, 1907, Stalin's group organizes and has their biggest heist steals 250,000 rubles or robles, excuse me, I guess that was the Georgian monetary unit, or 341,000 rubles equivalent to around $3.86 million in 2017, now 2018 money being transported to the Imperial Bank. That's a lot. No one knows whether Stalin took part in the actual execution of the attack and the highest in which his team loved grenades at the bank stage coach and it's mounted escort from the tops of nearby buildings open fire on guards killed up to 40 guards and some civilians as well as a number of horses according to contemporary reports. So you know 40, 40 plus people die, but not from his group.

So, win for Stalin. Man, that's like, I don't know if you remember that old movie, Heat with, oh man, it was a dammit. It was a doc holiday from Val Kilmer. There we go. It was one of my favorite Val Kilmer moves. It was like big shootouts and stuff. These band robbers, it's like man,

he was doing that in real life. Okay, so men's of it party members, they're angry about the big, you know, robbery, confronting about it, the attack, but he denies it all. And then Stalin has to grieve a death that affects him greatly. His new bride, Kato, contracts Typhus, dies on November 22nd, 1907, and he is beside himself. So much so that friends worry he will commit suicide and watch him closely. He loses composure, throws himself on Kato's coffin before he sees the secret police approaching his wife's funeral and escapes. Unable to give his son a normal life due to the whole want to buy the government situation, he's in. He leaves his son in the care of Kato's family.

There's well known quote about the event. Nobody could believe Soso was so wounded. The funeral was held at the church where they had married, Stalin, pale and tearful, spoke to Joseph Euromashivli, another childhood friend, this creature he said, gesturing, at the open coffin, softened my heart of stone. She died and with her died my last warm feelings for humanity. As Stalin holds nothing back at this point and works with his group slash gang to commit multiple robberies, hold children of wealthy families to ransom, create counterfeit money, and kill anyone who gets in their way. On March 25th, 1908, Stalin is arrested again and sent to Siberia for exile. Between 1902

and 1913, Stalin was arrested seven times and exiled six times. And while I found all kinds of articles and books that reference him being arrested, the best answer I could find regarding why he was arrested just said revolutionary activities. He was never actually arrested for any robberies or violence as far as anything I could find. And if he had been, he probably would have been hanged rather than exiled to Siberia. He's lucky that the Zars and the government of Georgia were softer on protesters than he would later be because if Stalin had been caught helping organize labor strikes and similar activities by say, I don't know, Stalin's government, he would have for sure been executed.

In Siberia, Stalin leads fellow exiled Bolsheviks and assassinates anyone suspected of being a spy. In June, he escapes from the Siberian labor camp to nearby village disguised as a woman, makes his way from there to St. Petersburg. In 1909, he was arrested again, but bribed his way out of it, and then was arrested again. March 23rd, 1910, with his girlfriend at the time, sent back to Siberia, banned from entering the southern caucus for five years. What a strange punishment.

I guess it was cheaper than prison. What if we did that? What if we just made everything like north and west of say, Fairbanks, Alaska, just a modern day, just kind of new Siberia. And when we just took criminals and just put them on a train that just ended, like, you know, 40 miles northwest of Fairbanks

and then just kicked them all out. Just built a wall, the separated new Siberia from the rest of the state, just figured out, best luck everybody. Set up a few labor camps, and then you'd have to prisoners finish their time, they have to stay there, live in their little prisoner built,

new Siberian villages and stuff. Such an insane thought to me that that really happened. Because some people were exiled to Siberian labor camps for crimes, other people just had to fucking live there. Maybe they were part of some ethnic group that the people empowered and cared for at the moment, like, get a Siberia, get over there. And then they couldn't come back to the rest of Russia, but they also couldn't necessarily enter a new country and just take up citizenship.

They just, they just lived in this sort of strange Russian purgatory. And I'll just, why can't we return to Russia? Because, well, to tell truth, we know like you very much. You look weird, you smell funny, head is too small for liking. Well, can we just go to Poland and Orozziya someplace? No, no, we want you to live. We do not want you to live whole country. We like having some people in Siberia.

It makes country look bigger and map, more powerful. But it's terrible here. It's very hard to survive here. I know. I know. That's why you there. That's why I already said we know like you. No more talk or you know, I kill you, I kill whole family. So go back to playing with rocks or the eating of soup made of muddy ice and stew made of poop and tears or whatever Some people do inside the horrible place

So Stalin plans to marry his girlfriend outside be re in a prison church, but he transferred before the ceremony never sees her again He's having some tough romance right around this time He then goes on to have his son with his land lady Maria Cusicoia While exiled Stalin left prior to Constantine being born and later live, Constantine was forced to sign a document forbidding him to ever announce who his father was. For the remainder of 1911, Stalin was basically just arrested, repeatedly exiled and then just, you know, slept around, reading books while waiting

out of time. 1912, Stalin is appointed editor of the Provada Communist Party newspaper. Stalin also spent a great deal of time trying to answer the question of how to incorporate various ethnic minorities of the region. Lenin believed he was the man to answer that problem because perhaps he has a Stalin's own experiences as a minority, being a Georgian as well as a man who could quickly be called upon to get any job done regardless of whatever laws happen to be in place. In March of 1913, Stalin publishes the article Marxism and the national question in an attempt to gain more support for the Bolsheviks.

Lenin's very happy with it. Stalin publishes under the pseudonym of K Stalin. These guys always publish under pseudonyms, again, just to avoid arrest. Joseph picks Stalin and Ailes that was stick because Stalin is loosely translated in kind of old Georgian as steel or man of steel. You know, what a badass last name, man. The man of steel. It's fucking Superman.

Who knew that the real Superman was a totalitarian Soviet asshole. Shortly after publishing his article, Stalin was arrested again in a mass grade ball, ex-Siberia, hoping to avoid another escape. He was placed in a village on the edge of the Arctic Circle, queer a kea. Not sure why they just didn't kill the guy. Like he just keeps fucking up, why don't he just kill him? They just keep throwing him back to Siberia

and he just keeps coming back. Why give him so many chances? I don't understand. But while in this village, he has an affair, this is creepy, super creepy. He has an affair with a 13 year old girl, Lydia, Parapagia, who is one year under the age of consent, they have a child together, the child doesn't survive,

she becomes pregnant a second time, birthed a son named Alexander in April of 1917 after Stalin leaves exile, back in growth. Stalin was 35, when he got together with his poor Siberian orphan, I don't know if I mentioned you was an orphan, I get that life may have been a little different in a small village in the Arctic fringes of Siberia,

but, shackling up with the 13 year old, I get that kings used to take, you know, child brides in Europe, not that far back before Stalin, but somehow that seems even less gross than what Stalin did. I don't know, maybe it was all gross. Maybe creepy dudes just got away with being pedophiles back then. You know, if someone went through puberty, I guess they were a fair game.

I do know Stalin almost got arrested for some sort of sex crime for Shackin' Up with this girl, even for backwoods, you know, Arctic Siberia, 13 was still too young, 14, you know, being the cutoff. So weird because my son is 12. Kyler's 12, I'm 40. What Stalin did is comparable to me shacking up with one of Kyler's classmates, which is just a warrant. It's so gross.

I don't know why I'm fixating on this. I would go on to cause a death of millions of the big scheme of things, getting a 13 year old pregnant, not ones but twice. Kind of low on the list of Stalin's worst deeds. I guess I don't know. Maybe just a communist way.

Maybe that was a part of the revolution, you know, getting the sex up young girls. Cheek of Tilo, the butcher of Rostov, you know, he was willing to be in the communist You know he did take a great pride of being a good communist and he did love having sex with kids Maybe maybe he was just too communist Maybe he was just too into it. You know what's his big deal. I know bad guy. I got strong communist I only choke out kids two week and worthless two fights back. I weed out weak kid wrestlers to keep mother Russia strong and healthy

if if kid kid cannot handle limp cockle shame How kid grow up and fight the capital's pigs Russia what the country? October 1916 Exiled Bolsheviks are conscripted to join the military effort in World War one Stalin is deemed unfit for battle by medical examiner in February of 1917 due to his crippled arm, which humiliates him. Uh, may have also saved his life.

When Zara Nicholas abdicates the throne and the February revolution takes place, you know, Stalin was still in exile and still alive. Uh, after exile, Stalin takes full control of the Provda in 1917, again that famous Russian propaganda paper, Provda would become the main propaganda vehicle for Stalin's Soviet Union. And let's talk about the future of Stalin's propaganda for a second. Having perfected his techniques while acting as editor of the Provada, Stalin would be becoming master of propaganda, constantly worked to maintain his image and the image of his successful, bountiful country.

Stalin had artists, poets, and alike to pick him in statues, portraits, poems, and more as a fatherlike figure over the country, he was omnipresent, a hero of the Politaria, a fierce protector with a stern, disciplining hand. He created a cult of personality. Sounds a bit like Kim Jong-un and his father and grandfather, right? Man, when a leader starts having statues of themselves built around the country, get real fucking nervous. All news was controlled and false images created to show

that the glory of Russia, the bounty of harvest, grain was often put on top of props that were used to fill empty containers and make it appear that the containers were just overflowing with grain. When they were in fact nearly empty, history was rewritten, Stalin was depicted as a much more involved fighter during the revolution, heroes of the revolution. When in fact, you know, he was exiled in Siberia

for most of it. Trotsky was later slandered and eventually removed entirely from most historical texts. Capitalism was harshly criticized, pictures were altered to remove people from situations in which Stalin didn't want them to be there. Cities and structures were named after Stalin. The state controlled all information and killed or imprisoned anyone who Stalin took issue with or publicly criticized him or even possibly criticized him. The propaganda was so effective that the country went into deep mourning in his death. He controlled everything.

Their education, food, future death, all of it. Now he was gone. There was immense fear of what would happen next without the father of Russia. Just rewrote his own history and convinced a giant nation that he was their great savior. Ended up killing almost everyone who knew the real story. What an odd reality to create. You know what? I want to try it. Let's do it. Okay, from here forward, here's my backstory.

My new backstory is that I am the greatest two sport athlete of all time. Sure, I've dabbled in comedy, but only when I wasn't fucking crushing 80 to 100 home runs a year, every year, for whatever team won the World Series during the year I played with him, because I won every year. I won the World Series every single year. I also threw for 2500 touchdown passes over 15 seasons and I caught another 700 touchdown passes. I caught over 100 touchdown passes that I fucking threw for whatever team won the Super Bowl that year.

Let it be known from here forward. All right, back to the Bolshevik revolution. Stalin works with Lenin to move the party forward despite often being an odds with what Lenin wants. Lenin is currently still helping the revolution from afar, from his self-imposed ex-Sollon Europe. Stalin continues to work closely with Lenin, maintaining a good relationship

despite differing opinions. Stalin took to work closely with London, maintaining a good relationship despite differing opinions. Stalin took charge of London's safety at times, and in turn, London continued to advance Stalin's career. London returned to Petrograd, formerly St. Petersburg, and on October 10th, excuse me, secured a majority vote in favor of a coup. On October 24th, police raid the Bolshevik newspaper office.

On October 25th, Stalin joins London for a central committee meeting where they will direct the coup. Bolsheviks militia overtakes the electric grid system. This is kind of badass. State banks post office, multiple bridges and telephone system. They just can take control over everything. Bolsheviks take their ship. They have a ship. The Aurora to the Winter Palace of the Zara where the provisional government is

convening an open fire. The government almost immediately surrenders is immediately arrested by the bullshaviks how fucking good was that day for lennon's fallen their cronies man they successfully took down a government can't even imagine when adrenaline rushed out would be there was some vodka drank that night and then all hell breaks loose the russian civil war begins last all the way through 1921 with the Red Army, the Bolsheviks battling the White Army, anti-Bolsheviks. The White Army was basically comprised of everyone but the Bolsheviks.

You know, included monarch, his capitalist, supporters of democratic socialism, Leon Trosky is given control of the Red Army, proves to be an excellent commander under difficult times. He had an army of three million and had war efforts at times on 16 different fronts. With the victory of the Red Army, Stalin, Lenin and Trotsky are now in control of the country

and Stalin publicly proclaims that no 13 year old girl will be safe from his hardest steel communist cock. Okay, maybe he doesn't proclaim that, but he may have thought it based on what we know about it. But you know who never thinks things like that are next sponsored. Today's time suck is brought to you by Lisa.

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That's right, $100 off when you go to L-E-E-S-A-Lisa.com slash time suck. All right. And now back to misery installing. Trotsky was considered to be the better orator of the three, better liked. So he was given opportunities to be the public face of the party. The Stalin was not additionally as the main military leader of the Victoria side of the Civil War. He was clearly second command to Lenin. Stalin had tons of enemies. It was often kept more kind of behind the scenes, you know, when he was outranked by Trotsky. He's a bit of a loose cannon.

He and Trotsky struggled to find common ground over such things as whether or not the state's control trade unions. Trotsky, favor state control, Stalin did not. Trotsky always disagreed with Lenin on various communist principles, which led to a rift between Lenin and Trotsky that would be Trotsky's downfall, because Stalin was able to use this rift to his advantage and get closer to Lenin. He was a sneaky bastard. Trotsky's downfall because Stalin was able to use this rift to his advantage and get closer to Lenin. He was a sneaky bastard.

Trotsky was the obvious choice. His successor to Lenin publicly, the early days of Lenin's regime, but Stalin was just too crafty. He'd been given compared to Trotsky a relatively low-level Communist Party position, but one that had a key feature to it, one that allowed him to appoint Communist Party members. He used that to his advantage big time. He just started replacing Trosky supporters amidst the ranks with, you know, people who supported him with his own allies. And he just did this for years, just taking out

the kind of foundation of the party out from underneath Trosky. Smart dude. Between 1922 and 1924, Lenin sees what Stalin is up to and starts vocally showing more support for Trosky, tries to slow Stalin's influence and then Lenin dies in 1924 and Stalin, because of the support from the party, he's been slowly rebuilding in his image emerges as leader, having quietly outplayed Trotsky and isolated him. Lenin actually wrote out a manifest of sorts. In preparation for his death, he had a stroke in 1918, while recovering from surgery to remove a bullet to his neck, taken an assassination attempt in 1918, and in his final testament, he made it clear that he wanted Trotsky, despite their

differences, to succeed him as head of the Communist Party, but Stalin was able to intercept this document, make alliances, with a few other high-ranking communists he was able to keep Lenin's testament a secret until it was too late, until he'd already consolidated power within the party. And then he exiled or killed any and all who opposed his rule. Stalin continued to diminish Trotsky's role until he eventually exiled him as we already know, and you know, Trotsky left for Mexico where he'd meet his ICE-AX fate. 1928, Stalin initiates, you know, now he's in charge and he initiates what he called his first five-year plan And this would last from October 1st, 1928 to December 31st 1932 and

He has great ambitions for mother Russia He wants it to become an industrial superpower as fast as possible and he demands an increase of 110% in coal production 200% in coal production, 200% in iron, 335% in electric power, and a 600% increase in sexy ass thartin' year olds. Sorry, I just can't stop thinking about his Siberian child lover, just fucking predator. To accomplish these massive increases, he gives the Russian people some interesting incentive.

He announces that workers' individual performance records will be posted publicly. And underperformers will be punished and humiliated. What a fun new policy. This fun new policy leads to a decline in attendance. Workers don't want to show up just to be embarrassed. This in turn leads to some strict, you know, more rules. If workers are late, they're lazy, they're not meeting their quota.

They can be accused of sabotaging the five-year plan. So don't show up in your saboteur and they found guilty They could just be shot just on the spot, you know just fucking firing squad whatever bullet to the head or sent to slave labor camps the gulags The old get to the gulag gag such a such a fun joke to play on someone Hey, come right. How about you put in four more hours of work today? But I am so very hungry and I am so tired already. Oh, maybe trip for whole family to Siberian Gulag for 5 or 20 years Be nice, we refresh for you, or vacation of thought.

Maybe you're not so tired and hungry after Gulag. No, no please, I will work more. I eat less, please. There's this death sentence for a family, I'm so sorry. I eat less. Please. There's just death sentence for family. I'm so sorry. I just kidding! Ha ha! I just I just pulled Gula Gag on you who will come rad. Go home, Petrov. You eat. Rest. Really? Thank you, come rad.

Of course, of course. It's no big deal. Oh, thank you for musty come here. I'm so tired of hungry. I go home now. That was trick. That was trick. Why not you want sacrifice for a mother Russia? You sabotaged five-year plan. Now you go to Galagvoreo.

Seriously, whole family leave on train tomorrow morning or everyone killed by afternoon. Get good out of here. So let's talk about these gulags. Gulag was the acronym for the main administration of corrective labor camps. Apparently, the acronym works better in Russian. Thanks to Article 58 of the Russian SFSR Penal Code, put in force on February 25, 1927, anyone suspected of counter revolutionary activities, essentially anyone deemed not loyal enough

to the Soviet Union could be arrested. So, you know, this law basically just allowed anyone to be arrested just for anything. So that sounds fun. Article 58 was used to round up anyone, not in good standing with the Communist Party, anyone not valuable enough to the Communist Party, and they could just ship them off to various gulags for slave labor.

And then just to keep things interesting, a few actual scary criminals, a few violent offenders, would also be sent to the gulags, you know, just to kind of keep everybody else in check. Some form of the Gulag system had been in effect already since the early 1900s, but it grew dramatically under Stalin's reign. They were often located in harsh, isolated areas

of the country on the fringes of civilization, and women, children, and men could all be in a Gulag. It wasn't just for grown dudes. Using Gulag labor, massive industrial undertakings were achieved because death tolls did not matter to stolen. For example, the white sea canal was completed with slave labor from the gulacs. It's 141 mile long canal connecting the white sea to Lake Enega. Anywhere from 25,000 to 100,000 lives were lost in its construction and it was built in

20 months. So bad news. 100 hundred thousand lives lost. Good news. Project completed several weeks ahead of schedule. So pretty cool. At one point there were 476 Goulag camp spreads throughout Stalin's Russia. And you can explore the history of Goulag today if you're particularly adventurous tourist, the Russian city of Vorkuta, the fourth largest city inside the Arctic Circle in the world, roughly 70,000 residents far down from the well over 200,000 residents in the 80s before the areas of many coal mines were closed, began as a Stalin-era gulag, the Vorkuk Vork, god damn, Vorkutlag established in 1932.

It had an average temperature, this place where it does, now negative 20 degrees Celsius, negative four degrees Fahrenheit in February. In July, it gets up to about 13 degrees Celsius, 55 degrees Fahrenheit. So you know, it's a fucking terrible place to live. From 1931 to 1957, two million prisoners from the USSR and 21 other countries pass through the Goulaque system

in this place. Local historians say that there are more than 200,000 political prisoners buried in the permafrost and marked and unmarked graves. It once heed with so many political prisoners from so many countries that this graveyard are in the nickname capital of the world. What was life like in these gulags? Terrible, in a word, really, really, really terrible. Similar to life in North Korean labor camp, you know.

There was a constant threat of rape as reported by this camp rape witness, said in excited group of prisoners, I'm not gonna try and do that in Russian, this is too much. Exciting group of prisoners gathered around a bench next to the wall, recalled Janus Barduk. Those in the back row were jumping up, trying to see over the heads and shoulders of those in front who were shouting obscenities and holding their penises. Young man lay on his stomach in the baths,

and another man lay on top of him, embracing him around the chest and moving his hips back and forth. His back was tattooed with shackles chains in the popular Soviet slogan, work as an act of honor, courage and heroism. On both sides were trumpeting angels. He breathed heavily while the young man underneath

moaned and cried out. The spectators shouted, I caught sight of the young man's grimacing face. Jesus, really suck to be that guy that day. Just a crowd of other gulag prisoners watching some poor dude, angely raped. Like it was a sport, like it was like a boxing match or something. The more I learn about communist Russia,

just the more I understand the creation of the monster of Jikotilo, you know. What a big deal, the guy is just rassling, put on the good show for a crowd. Sounds fun, I see no tragedy. This normal Russian wins, it's no big deal. I also found this description of a gang rape occurring on the way to the gulag.

This is even more disturbing. We were taken to the ship. We were marching five abreast as always in columns, five abreast surrounding by guards on all sides, guard dogs, German shepherds, all around guards with machine guns. They loaded us aboard and the first thing that happened was the female criminals, the people from the criminal underworld, began to rob us of our own clothes. They made the women strip. The women resist of our own clothes. They made the women's trip. The women resisted. They yelled. They batted. It got so bad that if the criminals liked your

underwear, they made you sleep naked, naked, and you tossed and tossed you some flee-infested rags in return. So this is from a female gulag prisoner's experience. The prisoners in one of the men's holds found a pickaxe. They pierced a hole through the wall into the women's hold with a pickaxe. And then the men, the criminals began filling the women's hold and they gang raped the women. Fucked my God. Pickaxe in your way through a wall for a massive gang rape.

Right, these good like prisoners are just reduced to being subhuman. As mentioned, you know, for a female prisoner, you show up and then the other women, the toughest women are fucking slapping you around, taking your clothes, just, you know, forcing you just to imagine this, you know, for a female prisoner, you show up and then the other women, the toughest women are fucking slapping you around, taking your clothes, just, you know, forcing you just to sleep with, you know, either rags or just naked in some cold, I'm sure horrific, you know, floor. And then you got the dudes literally just burrowing through the wall just to, you know, be raped by a whole bunch of dude criminals.

Fuck. Yeah, there was a constant threat of starvation and physical violence as told by one former inmate, saying, how much bread you got depended on how much timber you would cut the day before. So this is one Siberian work camps. A tally that really could be the difference between life and death. Those who met a hundred percent

of their punishing targets, a physical impossibility for most men, earned 900 grams of bread, about two pounds, while those returning only 50% of their targets got only 900 grams of bread, about 2 pounds, while those returning only 50% of their targets got only 300 grams of bread. So, you know, that's significantly less than a pound. Made from rye, which had not been thoroughly claimed. This black bread was the source of gulag life and carefully horded throughout the day.

A little with the breakfast soup. A fucking breakfast. Breakfast soup sounds terrible. It's just these few bites during the short dinner break at midday. More with soup in the soup. A fucking breakfast. This breakfast soup sounds terrible. It's just a few bites during the short dinner break at midday, more with soup in the evening. So much fucking soup. You know, he's just brothy, like fucking boot, tongue, radish soup, some horrible shit. You know, a little bit more evening to stay off the inevitable pangs of hunger at for 12 hours of cutting and stacking logs.

If a prisoner stole clothes or tobacco and was discovered, he could expect a good beating from his fellow inmates. But the unwritten law of this camp was anyone costume another man's bread earned a death sentence. An accident was not difficult to arrange in the forest. Ugh. And these stories are just what could happen to you with the hands of fellow prisoners. You can also be killed or raped by the guards anytime.

And even if you weren't starving or being beaten or being raped, you were being literally worked to death in many camps. 12 plus hour days of breaking rock, you know, to dig a canal or, you know, cutting, stacking that wood, tunnel into, for a coal mine, just, you know, et cetera. It's horrible, horrible, back breaking labor. All this for something is little as a neighbor

ratting you out to secret police for seeming, you know, kind of suspicious or for just not liking you. Fun times. So now let's talk about another form of hell on earth, Stalin created a collective farming. Stalin seized all farms and factories, and he completely overhauled the Russian agrarian economy.

Farmland is redistributed with private, and no private, excuse me, ownership, into collectivist forms. How much will that suck by the way if you're already a successful farmer? Man, the revolution did not work out in your favor, excuse me, ownership into collectivist forms. How much will that suck by the way if you're already a successful farmer? Man, the revolution did not work out in your favor. The government just takes your shit, redistributes it, fuck that, and actually, actually, as I read too,

also probably kills you for being, so, you know, a smarty pants farmer, you know, they didn't want you fucking telling their laborers how to do their work. You know, the big landowners were just usually just killed after the revolution by Stalin. I know it's not totally rational and it's not like I have the military training

to withstand a military takeover, but reading this does make me want to run out and buy so many more guns. Wolverines, little red dawn reference if you don't know. The goal of collective farming, besides putting even more power into the hands of a totalitarian regime, is that fewer people will be able to work together on larger sections of land and reap higher amounts of food, allowing more of the population to move into cities,

to work on infrastructure, and in the newly built factories, you know, just some communist efficiency. You know, be efficient or get to the Gulak. This means that people were displaced from land. They had worked on all their lives, Their family had worked on before them. This system also removed power from the Kulak landowners, the wealthier class. They were deemed hostile to the movement, unfortunately. They also knew how to farm and were no longer in charge of these farms. So that doesn't make a lot of logical sense. Pesans were assigned plots of land to work collectively, and these are people with no

prior farming experience a lot of times. We Pesns were assigned plots of land to work collectively, and these are people with no prior farming experience a lot of times were tasked with impossible quotas. Government officials came to collect and often took every ounce of food grown, leaving none for the farmers who actually harvested it. You know, this collectivized farming experiment created that whole Ukrainian famine, the holomodor that she could heal it was raised in.

Remember that, just, you know, his early childhood. What was big deal? So I started off in to childhood it's built character it's exciting sometimes to starve but then barely live only to starve again almost well malnutrition maybe why she could do it work right but everyone have crossed to bear I love Russia only in Russia can starving predator like me keep getting job after job and keep attacking children what a country in the Russia can starving put out a tur like me keep getting job after job and keep attacking children. What a country. Yeah, just fucking insanity in communist Russia, especially rough in Ukraine in the early

1930s. 1932, 1933, Stalin cordoned off Ukraine to prevent escape, because it was so shitty there, people were just trying to get the fuck out. You wanted to, you know, prevent news from getting out to the rest of the country about how bad it was there. So no evidence can be collected or reported. Propaganda had been created showing bountiful bins wagons like we talked about earlier full from the good harvest.

You know, and anything mentioned contrary to that resulted in harsh punishment exile execution. Famously fertile land had been destroyed in a failed attempt to collectivizing the farms German or excuse me government quotas. They were impossible to meet state officials worsen local situations by demanding that not only grain grown be handed over to the state, but all foods grown. No food can now be grown for personal consumption or sale so that people actually farming the land are starving. Again, we talked about that in Chiquitillo episode, just the fucking crazy irony there.

Nearly all farmers, original landowners, you know, they've been imprisoned during the purges, leaving the land to peasants who didn't know what to do. The result was an estimated five million people dying from starvation across the Soviet Union, nearly four million, a new crane. Ukrainians ate everything to survive during this time. Shoelether, farm animals, pets, rodents, frogs, leaves, grass, and when they could find nothing else, cannibalism ensued. A lot of this only recently is being recognized and discussed.

It was a source of great shame for both the government and the survivors. However, silver lining, the number of workers in industry construction and transport does grow in that first five year period from 4.6 million to 12.6 million. So, whoa, yeah! Oh, man, what dedicated industrious, wouldn't take a,

you know, a little cannibalism for that kind of growth. Stalin, he was willing to sacrifice anyone for his industrial goals. Well in 1931, at the first conference of workers, Stalin delivers an impassioned speech, commanding workers to play a crucial role in industrialization. He says, we are 50 or 100 years behind the advanced countries. We must make up this gap in 10 years. Either we do it or they will crush us. In 1932, Stalin's second wife, Nadizia Alleyway,

a woman he'd married in 1919 when he was 39 and she was 16, she's a creep, kills herself at the age of 31. Stalin had met the decent when she was 10 to make it even creepier during one of his Siberian exiles. Many loved just finding kids when he's out in Siberia, didn't he? Her father had allowed Stalin to live with the family, and she killed herself because he was distraught over Stalin no longer being sexually attracted to her.

Now that she looked like an adult, despite her attempts at dressing up in pigtails and wearing a woman's version of a young child's doll dress and constantly looking on a lollipop, which I guess did daily the last several years of her life. No, she did not. She did not dress like that. Her lick lollipops with the rest of it is true. He really did meet her when she was only 10, lived with her family in Siberia.

I have no documentation and proof that he was attracted to her. At that time, or they lost interest in her, as she grew into her early 30s, but considering his history, yeah, maybe he's dirt back. Creepy to marry a girl, as soon as she's barely an adult, even creepier when you met her,

when you were in your early 30s and she was 10. You really didn't seem like a pedophile, as some sort. Clearly liked him young. And he was notoriously unfaithful to his partners. Dude was a five, four, or platform shoes, and was self-conscious about a small size, and had a serious Napoleon complex.

Now, you had to prove how much of a man he was, had to bed many, many women, and he had a young girl complex, and combining those two, God, who knows how many young teens he had sex with but anyway now these did kill herself which you know kind of uncommon for the leader of a nation's wife she actually shot herself after confronting Stalin about the Ukrainian famine and about the purges that were going on that he had ordered and just receiving kind of contempt and return from him.

So what purges you ask, I referenced that earlier, well, Stalin had begun ex-Island sending to Gulags and outright executing anyone he deemed to threat for his vision to Russia, or to his vision for Russia, and his seat on the proverbial throne. Fellow communists, he's suspected of not being loyal enough. College professors who came across a little too liberal

for his taste, basically anyone else who said anything that the world's greatest communist didn't agree with were liable to lose their lives and often did. And then his wife took her life. So here's how those purges worked for the first trials of Stalin's great purge. Stalin would force public trials on people he'd brought kind of trumped up charges against. And people who you know he was concerned about rebelling prior to trial they'd be tortured other families would

be threatened they'd be interrogated until quote unquote confessions were signed and then their admission of guilt would be paraded and the trials were you know to appear propaganda just for show stall wish saving the country from another war at the hands of treasonous rebels who wanted to destroy their beautiful nation full of all this bountiful grain uh... after a few initial public trials private trials and continue at length no torture threats you go on to get those confessions many of the criminals uh... started as old prominent bullshavex that still just needed out of the way

still a secret police uh... led the way for this under his very watchful eye and effectively just eliminated anyone who may have thought anything challenging uh... or thought about challenging him and all this happened in two short years from nineteen thirty six nineteen thirty eight the the big parts of the purchase first on his crew came after the old bullshavix then the military officials then government officials the moved on to wealthy farmers artists intellectuals foreigners minority

scientists anyone that pissed all of uh... you know or or pissed off member of the secret police in the end he killed our prison everyone in this country who could have uh... ironically most helped him lead it to success his extreme paranoia just deleted experts in academia agriculture military crippling his own goals the official number of perj victim stands at one million five hundred forty

thousand three hundred sixty six366 detained person of which whom 681,692 were shot in average of 1,000 executions a day. Various historians claim that the real number of victims could be twice that much. That's so much killing. So much killing. The first purge trial was in August 1936, three prominent Bolsheviks who helped in the October Revolution, guys who helped get the fucking Stalin into power.

And 13 co-defense were accused of joining Leon Trotsky and creating a terrorist organization to unseat Stalin and Stalin pinned assassinations on him, which Stalin had probably likely been involved in himself actually, and ordered them all to be executed upon finding them guilty. And they'd usually be executed like the same day. The second trial found four prominent members of the Soviet regime and 17 others charged with collaborating with Trotsky, committing various acts of sabotage, working for Japan

and Germany. All were found guilty, four were given tenure sentences and the rest were executed. The third trial was in March of 1938. This one effectively claimed that they had missed some folks in the first trial. True prominent leaders from counter-marks of these groups in the 20s and 1921, including other prominent figures such as well-respected doctors, other co-defendants with charge with conspiracy, assassination, and espionage, all but three were found guilty and sentenced to death.

I guess they left the three out just to make it look like it was a fair trial. This one was hard for the world and public to swallow as it was so clearly absurd and included charges against known loyal Marxists and prominent intellectuals. Additionally, one defendant during this trial did plead not guilty, did it in court, changed his stance after having signed over his confession, you know. The following day, he returns to court with the dislocated shoulder amongst other injuries and proceeds to plead guilty. So they just fucking beat him into a, changes mind and his young wife and infant son were threatened and promises were then made to keep them safe if you played along.

Well, the Spitals promises, promises after his execution, his wife was just immediately sent to the gulac. Man, that guy was a motherfucker. Stalin also had his two heads of the NKDV police, the first and then his successor charged and executed. No one was safe, right? Even if you did exactly what Stalin told you to do, you could end up knowing too much and still be killed.

The NKDV, the secret police, they were allowed to conduct their own trials that took place in the moment on site or behind closed doors and you could be found charged, you could be found charged, found guilty and imprisoned and then executed all within the same day. These troops were called the Torreka, Kulox or wealthier farmers who refused to work on collective farms or were otherwise resistant to the changes being made in the agrarian community. They were also imprisoned or killed, adding the struggle to have productive farming, likely aiding the famine.

Then there was those academics, roughly 2,000 academics and artists were also convicted and 1,500 died in prisons and camps. Trosky was the final prominent figure that had to go. Then that military purge, following the Great Purge, he enacted that military purge, a lot of closed-door trials, targeted top military officials. You know, by the end, he effectively destroyed his own military. He killed or imprisoned all of his country's best leaders and fighters. In the end, three of five of his top marshals, top commanders, 13 of 15 army commanders, eight of nine admirals, 50 of 57 army corps commanders, 154 of 186 division commanders, 16 of 16 Army commissars,

and 25 of 28 Army Corps commissars were all removed and executed. That is insane for us. This concept of a purge, which is seemingly like for Americans today, a far-fetched horror movie franchise was reality for a lot of Russians back then. Rumors even circulated that Stalin and prison had own soldiers upon their return for more. Have youed them as failures? Worried about the impact?

Their international exposure may have have on his ideals. It was cold blooded even to his own soldiers, the very men fighting to keep his regime alive. When asked by German leaders, if correspondence could be set up between their Russian captives, five to six million people in total, and their families, Stalin refused. This is real World War II, saying, there are no Soviet prisoners of war.

The Soviet soldier fights on till death. If he chooses to become prisoner, he is automatically excluded from the Russian community. Fuck! Many millions died in German hands because they were already dead to Stalin, having allowed themselves to be captured. Again, I think at Chikotilo, when I read this, man, if you recall, his father was one of those shameful soldiers who had allowed themselves to be captured by the Germans

and instead of returning home from war a hero, he returned home to be mocked by his community and to raise a child, fathered by a German soldier who had raped his wife, right? She could heal himself, would be teased, throughout his childhood, for having a coward for a father. Think about how crazy that is. Think about how crazy a world is, where Senator McCain, John McCain, would never have been allowed to run for any political office because he would have been a coward.

Instead of a national hero for, you know for surviving enemy internment. Stalin was so hardcore about making sure his soldiers fought the death, he was such a heartless piece of shit. He passed order number 270 demanding that his military fight to death instead of surrender under penalty of severe consequence and threat to family. Soldiers having been exposed to how others in Europe were living began to reflect on their own dire situation in Russia and The concept of surrender or defecting became very tempting

So he passes that order number 270 saying there are no Soviet prisoners of war only traders Thousands are deprived of food and aid and died because a family member had been a traitor and allowed themselves to be captured So you know to keep them from just running away to another country He you know makes it known that their families back home are gonna suffer if they leave or become captured. And as terrible as all this was, though under this oppressive new atmosphere of fear and death, his plan to industrialize Russia did work. Stalin's industrial goals did succeed at the cost

of basically everything else. Cities were thrown together, structures were erected in great speed, output was always under quota, books were filled with forged numbers and attempt to save lives, as anyone who underperform will be punished and are sent to the gulags,

but USSR did become a leading industrial nation. So, you know, I guess for him, totally worth it. Now let's jump back to his five year plans. Okay, the second plan. 1933 to 1937, focuses on heavy industry. That's given top priority goals or eased as a reward for meeting goals in the first plan.

Incentives are now part of the deal instead of just punishments. Women are encouraged to join the workforce. A child care is now offered. The Soviet Union becomes one of the top steel producing countries and the world under the second five-year plan. Oh, and before things sound too good, the quality of life greatly diminishes for everyone as very little attention is paid to consumer goods. So they're making everything for industry,

like military and stuff, but they're not making actually like things to leave a fucking comfortable life, live a comfortable life. The first two five year plans, increasing industrial capacity of USSR dramatically in all major fields, steel, coal, electric power, create new manufacturing sectors indispensable to any great power, automobiles, aviation, chemicals, plastics.

Consequently, the first two five-year plans laid the foundation for the industrial might of the Soviet Union, especially in the military plan, or a military field. So despite all this evil, he does, brute force just forge Soviet, this Soviet Union ahead into an industrial military power. Okay, so now the third plan, 1938 to 1941, the first two years of this plan are disappointing. And then after three years, World War II interrupts the plan. All right, in August 29th, 1939 Nazi and Russian forces signed a non-aggression pact that effectively meant both countries had agreed to stay out of each other's

way and not attack each other. I did not know that before this. This was a massive public statement that caused a lot of stress for the rest of the world when shocking, given the historic animosity between the two countries, maybe I did actually become a cross. Anyway, additionally, they signed a secret pact, Divi Europe up between them. That's right, Hitler and Stalin were in kuhuts. Stalin and Hitler were known actually to quietly appreciate each other's work and tactics. Stalin annexed parts of Poland, Romania, Estonia, Lithuania, Latvia, and launched an attack on Finland for a while things went as planned. But then the Western Front began to bolster and prove more difficult

than initially thought for the Germans. It didn't look as though Britain would fall. The Allies were gaining footholds in many locations. The Germans were also watching Russia's failure at their winter war, and they realized their current partner may be an easier target than an asset. And they switched directions, you know, and came after Russia, move in east, the easier target instead of continuing west which also for military military history and you know is is is probably good reason why you know the nazi's lost a war is because they decided to fight a war on two fronts instead of just focusing their energy on one side anyway june nineteen forty one germans attack russia breaking the non-aggression pack stall and stunned he didn't see this coming

he's shocked leads to a slow response results in thousands and thousands and thousands of casualties uh... stall had ignored warnings from his own intelligence to US and Britain. It was completely unprepared for this. As Germans invaded Russia, heading to Moscow, Stalin employs the scorched earth method of burning and destroying his own country's goods so that the Germans can't have them. Man, dude, which is fucking ruthless. Just did what it take to get things done the way he wanted him to. Russia turns it around at the Battle of Stalin grad in August of 1942, last of February 1943.

Stalin joins allies, allied initiatives to battle Germany, all while still planning on expanding Russian territory. World War II could not have won, been won by the allies without Stalin's help, which was acknowledged by Churchill and Truman, although there is trust of Stalin, continued and resulted in the Cold War. And despite World War II's interruption of his five, or his third, five-year plan, despite heavy, heavy losses, Russia does continue to grow into a world power during this time. An overall rate of annual industry growth averaged 12 to 13% in the 40s, which is virtually inheard of.

And that growth rate continued into the 50s. At quick glance, this seems to have been about double the growth rate of the US that time, which was also doing very well. So, you know, dude was a motherfucker, heartless bastard, but without him, Russia likely would not have became a world power. Who knows what Trotsky would have industrialized

as effectively a Stalin did? Probably not. He just was not as ruthless, not as singularly focused. Okay, the fourth and fifth five-year plans, whether for fourth from 1946, 1950, the fifth, 1951, 1955 focused on reconstruction after the war. Outside of Poland, the USSR was the hardest hit during World War II,

and the nation was left in ruins. Casualties as many as 20 million left, many job vacancies, animals, farms, buildings, factories, gone, or destroyed. The USSR could not agree to terms with the US for alone to aid reconstruction. Reparations are received from Germany and other European countries who pay Russia for having saved them, which does help with some funding.

And then during his fifth five year plan, the cruel, cruel dictator dies. He suffers a cerebral hemorrhage, and on March 1, 1953, he a cerebral hemorrhage and on March 1st 1953 He he suffers the hemorrhage and then he is dead by March 5th in the country mourns profusely of course They do they have been brainwashed to love him He lives to be 74 and there is speculation by some historians that he may have been poisoned Due to suspicious autopsy results will never know never know for certain. And that does take

us out of this time suck timeline. Good job soldier. You've made it back. Barely. So Stalin's dead and the Soviet Union he built on his ideals mourns for him. You know, as openly as Russians mourn for him, I bet privately a lot of Russians celebrated, you know, just fuck you Stalin. If you could have only died long, slow death before sending father and cousin to Gulak. Brother fighting war for you and then labeled traitor, even though you never fight on front lines once in your self in your life. I hope devil fuck you like you fucked Siberian child lover. Actually, they probably didn't think that because they probably bleed all his bullshit.

Stalin really was such a piece of shit, you know. Just check out the story on his relationship with his first born son, Yakov. This is, if you didn't already think it was a monster, check this out. Yakov Stalin's first born son once tried to commit suicide but did not die. Stalin remarked that Yakov can't even shoot straight. Then Yakov goes to join the Red Army and he's taken prisoner by German Nazis. So Stalin has Yakov's wife sent to the Gulag for two years separating her from their three-year-old daughter, his granddaughter, right? Because her husband was dumb enough to get captured.

And then later, Nazis offer a trade for Yackoff, one of their commanders in exchange for, you know, Stalin's son, and he refuses. Refuses to make a trade to save his own son's life. And then after Stalin turns down the trade, Yov is shot and killed. So you know, I don't think much of this guy. Don't think much of this guy. But I'm not the only one with opinions on Stalin. Let's check out what some other people think. Let's check out what the idiots and the internet think about Stalin. Looking through the comments under a YouTube video titled Biography, A Joseph Stalin Red Terror Documentary, posted by user History of Wars, you quickly see that a lot of people,

especially people who seem to be Russians, admire Stalin for how he modernized the Soviet Union. And they also seem to believe that all the negative stuff written about him is just Western anti-Soviet propaganda. No, it's not. It is true, it is not just Western historical revisionism. Thank God for nonpartisan historians. The longer to this podcast, the more I value historians.

Man, the keepers of the flame of truth, sources you can find when you wait past propaganda bullshit artists, find out what really happened. If only more history was written by those people and not by regime puppets or sensationalists with clear access to grind. Well, under the seemingly well-produced documentary, which does seem very truthful,

user Alex Bergropos, Stalin was our father or savior. He led us to victory, he liberated Europe, he made CCCP, Soviet Union, into a superpower. Okay, what's crazy is that technically Stalin did liberate Europe Without him the allies and all likelihood could not have defeated Hitler But he didn't do it for liberation reasons. He did it to save himself and to save the nation He built in his image. He did it for ego Not for love of country not for love of his country men

And he did lead Russia in becoming his superpower But only through casually sacrificing millions of his country men. And he did lead Russia into becoming his superpower, but only through casually sacrificing millions of his own people's lives, innocent people's lives, labeled his own soldiers, cowards, sent military families to Gulags. How far is it okay to take the concept of the end justify the means? When does it stop being okay?

If they always do, then I guess maybe Stalin was good for Russia, maybe. But how can you honestly think this monster who put anyone who opposed him to death or into exile a savior? You're either misinformed, brainwashed, or you are an idiot. Another user takes Alex Berger's questionable praise into pure idiocy, say, user Robin posts, I don't care if he killed 25 million people. I'm loyal to Stalin. What the fuck?

You know, I'd like to always write off comments like this, it's just people trolling. But I don't think that's accurate. I really don't. I think some people somehow truly don't care that, you know, somebody like Stalin killed millions. And I'm guessing in part, because those deaths have just become an emotionless number to them. Right? You just hear a number, 20 million people, you know, a long time ago, 25 million people, a long time ago, 60 million people, whatever. But imagine if you had to witness all those deaths firsthand. What if you watched those people die?

What if you watched millions of families mourn those deaths? What if you saw families torn apart and murdered all the tears and the whaling and grief, all of that committed because of paranoia and evil ambition. Would you still just, you know, be a big fan? You know, would you still be loyal? Would you still not care? It's so you're just as horrible as he was, just a fucking sociopath. So many comments along this theme. Some user with a name written in Russian, so I can't read it post.

The fake history is over. Akarivs have been recently looked in Russia and it is concluded Stalin was a great leader. All the myth about millions killed by Stalin is no longer in use. Stalin was greatest leader ever in history. Stalin received a USSR in poor conditions, but it left country with best economy, social benefits and science in the world. What? If they have really true, we can stop trusting anything printed in

English. You know, just accept that the world is flat, drop out, or whatever school you're attending, just give up. Just give up believing anything anyone else tells you. You know, historians disagree on a lot of things. Stalin being a bad overall dude, not one of them. No actual credible historian thinks that Stalin was the greatest leader in the fucking history of ever. Right? There's a lot of documentation regarding his atrocity. Like a lot. And he didn't create the best economy. He created a system of terror where people lived in fear and poverty.

According to a recent Forbes article, Russia currently still has a lower overall quality of life than China does. When you factor in the average citizen's purchasing power index, healthcare index, poverty price to income ratio, average traffic commute time, pollution levels, other factors, what's the point of being a superpower if the life of your average citizen is just wretched? And then idiot Frankie Hunter posts something that actually scares me. He posts another Stalin video called a Portrait of Stalin's Secret Police. What I don't like in the majority of the comments is the one sidedness.

The people who are living in the West only read and heard bad things about socialism and the Soviet Union. But if you know Russia and follow the Russian comments, they are 80 to 90% in favor of Stalin. And I would rather believe people who lived under Stalin and their children and grandchildren than the Western quote unquote historians. No, Frankie Hunter, you dumb shit. Wrong.

Why would you believe people who grew up under a known propaganda regime, who grew up under the influence of massive year after year continual propaganda over outside historians? Never do that. This is why you should never just listen to only your nation's news, including this goes for Americans,

when journalists are talking about your nation. They might, you know, I don't know, be a little bit biased. Get a variety of perspectives, listen to your own nation's news, but then also listen to the news of a couple of their foreign nations, find some perspective, get some variety. And all perspectives concerning Stalin, even from Russian historians Are that he was a fucking monster? It's not like Russian historians like no, he was great. He was the best man never

No, he's horrible You know a fair amount of people considered him to be a bigger monster than Hitler even was because you created more overall death and terror than not He said no, I'm not one of those people I think he only was able to do that because his reign was longer. I think had Hitler been given another decade or so He would have made even Stalin look not so bad in comparison. However, unlike Hitler, a lot of Russians still think yes, Stalin was a great leader. Most modern Germans seem to unanimously despise Hitler.

Why? Why do one nation's youth hate their former dictator while another nation's youth seem to revere their dictator? Or former dictator? Well, according to the thoughts of one Russian historian, I found because Stalin won. This is an interesting thought I wanted to share. Stalin won his war.

He won World War II, and because he was a winner, his crimes get washed away. He becomes viewed as necessary for Russia to become a superpower. Then he did a strong leader, and he just did what he did. He did what he had to be done, and everything else was just lies and half truth spread by those who opposed him, lie spread by the people he defeated.

How sick is that? To the victor go to spoils and their crimes are forgotten and forgiven. But that is how history works, right? Right? In American of a European descent, you know, they're going to have a little different take on general custers, historical value, than a sue nation American Indian. I'm guessing. A white American, maybe going to feel a little bit differently about the legacy of Thomas

Jefferson, then an African American. It's interesting how we view our founders and military leaders is it not? Well while you can make a case for a lot of historical figures committing bad deeds that can somewhat kind of be chalked up to them being products of their time you know uh you know Stalin does not get that pass he was not a good dude by any standard including the standard of a 20th century Bolshevik uh revolutionary you know his peers did not consider him to be a good dude he was a tyrant uh he did accomplish a lot for Russia but only to commit in an unbelievable level of atrocity and hopefully

someday there will be less idiots of the internet who praise him it is the internet stylons legacy really does make me think about other historical figures man how much good does it take to balance out such a greek is since you know just turning russia into an industrial power justify the death of twenty plus million Russians,

or some figures up to 60 million, what if it had Stalin not modernized Russia, backwards Russia would still have been eventually sacked by the Nazis and the Nazis, what a one. And butchered hundreds of millions in the wake of World War II. What if they still ruled the world today? Does doing what he did to militarize industrialize Russia,

which did lead to his ability to keep Hitler from sacking Moscow and possibly win the war you know it does did give allies the time and opportunity to invade Berlin does that justify his crimes i don't think so i don't think so because it's not like he did what he did to stop Hitler his motive was never altruistic never remotely selfless uh... he did what he did because he wanted to continue to lead you know the most powerful nation one of the most powerful nations in the world at any cost His actions were all about his desire for power. He's an equangible thirst for control his ruthless ambition happened to lead to some good outcomes He was a piece of shit whose own evil deeds did you know kind of put him in a place where he was able to cancel out another evil dictator It's horrible agenda, but that doesn't make him a good dude in any way

I don't think to me stalling is no better than some gang banger who happens to shoot another gang banger and some drug deal gone bad before that gang banger accidentally shoots an innocent child. You know, gang banger number one did technically save a kid's life in that situation, but he's also sure a shit not a hero. So to me, that's Stalin. I suggest now let's take one more look back at the Russia. Russia's man of steel with some top five takeaways Number one by 1927 10 years after the Bolshevik revolution and three years after after revolution leader Lenin's death

Stalin consolidated his stranglehold on the Soviet Union and turn a backwards Farming nation where nine out of ten Russians lived in rural farming villages into an industrial superpower able to help defeat Hitler and World War II. Number 2 under Stalin's reign over 6 million citizens of the Soviet Union were deliberately killed by Stalin's regime either executed outright or dying from anything but natural causes in Gulex. Over 20 million deaths are attributed to having been the direct consequence of Stalin's actions such as enforcing collectivized farming. Over 20 million deaths are attributed to having been the direct consequence of Stalin's actions,

such as enforcing collectivized farming. Number 3 Stalin had a 13 year old Siberian lover, who he got pregnant, twice, gross. Number 4 if Leon Trotsky would have succeeded Lenin instead of Stalin, many, many less Russians would have died as Trotsky was far less bloodthirsty. However, Trotsky did want to make the world one big communist state. So maybe Stalin saved America a weird way from becoming a communist nation. So I guess maybe thanks Stalin for that.

Number five, new info. Let's look at a few Stalin quotes that reveal further insight into his deplorable character. Here's the first one, a single death is a tragedy. A million deaths is a statistic. Okay? Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't let our people have guns.

Why should we let them have ideas? That's terrifying. And the final one, death is the solution to all problems. No man, no problem. Wow, that last quote is so exactly what I think sometimes. Some of a bitch turns out I got a little stall on me. Ah, I do in moments of frustration think, no man, no problem.

Dead. Maybe in light of hearing this, you know, come from stalling, that's not the best way for me to think. Oh, and his mustache supposedly influenced the mustache of Hitler, Saddam Hussein, and other dictators. Yeah, he had a fashionable stash. Seriously, gotta have a strong stash game, I guess,

to rule the Iron Fist. Time, suck, tough, five takeaways. So that's it, Stalin has been sucked. And now time for a few more announcements before this week's Time Sucker Updates. Houston and Dallas, again, as I said last week, added to the tour. I'll be at the Secret Group Theater in Houston, Friday, April 13th, be at the Texas Theater in Dallas, Saturday, April 14th.

One show only in each of those places. More dates at the Freshly Built, Dancomas.tv. Yeah, thanks to Josh Crelf for getting that going, getting it up. Fuck you to Warner Brothers Records for making it such a pain in the ass to redesign my own goddamn website Again, check out patreon become a space lizard ensure the survival of time suck Let this experiment and curiosity continue to grow. I can't do it without you and enjoy that new album on Pandora And then enjoy the new album from the fucking space lizards Right, so you're gonna get maybe on the problem on Pandora and then a few weeks you're going to get feel the heat when you become a space lizard. Link in the episode description

for both signing up on Patreon and the Pandora Almaxes. Thanks to Sidney Shives, Harmony Velocamp, Jesse Doberner, the entire time suck team. Thanks for all the reviews. Spreading the suck right around 2,500 reviews on iTunes right now, so that helps so much. It helps me get other, it helps me get on, other notable podcasts as a guest, so I can reach more future time suckers, get more space lizards. Big thanks to my little sister, Donna, Donna Hale,

for helping so, so much with the Stalin research. She is a fantastic teacher and a fantastic Russian researcher. And thanks to all of you who recommended Stalin for today's suck Morgan Miller, Luke Parard, Crystal Laundry, Seth Quell, Dylan Newton, anyone else I forgot. Next bonus episode drops this Friday, January 26th, and the topic is going to be a surprise. What's that about? Huh? Well, you already know if you follow the show on Instagram at TimeSuck Podcast, so follow

and find out. And now for some time, sucker up days. Rup days, get your time sucker up days. Okay, so I teased Big Back and Forrest with Super Sucker, Jessica Downed last week, and that's what today's Time Suck Updates is going to be about, just this exchange. Jessica and I have been going back and forth in a very fun, respectful, and enlightening way. I gotta say, over the nature of Freemasons for Turnal Organization and the nature of organizations

who are able to choose their members based on something like gender in general. Basically, Jessica did not care for my endorsement initially of Freemasons continuing to be a boys club. Because it's not like dudes, it's just dudes playing poker, drinking old fashions, or sneaking away from their families. You know, it's guys who are networking. They're sharing career opportunities and historically they've had a lot of prominent members,

such as many presidents who can really help your career. Now, I know that's not currently the case, but it could be again. We don't know what powerful people are mingling as Mason's right now. And since men have, you know, historically had more career opportunities than women does supporting this organization kind of support sexism in a way. It's a fair question to ask. And if you're a free Mason Timesacker, don't freak out. Please listen to this whole back and forth.

Here are a few excerpts from Jessica's initial email. She says, I know there was a lot of good stuff from the free MAPS, free MAPS, and excuse me, episode this week, but I couldn't hear any of it after your arguments for it being an all-male institution. It really upset me that you don't see why that might be harmful for women. In your example, you made a comparison between the mocha moms and the free masons.

There really is no comparison. If the mocha moms were to expand to allow white males like you, you might gain a few new friends, you might hear some gossip and get some advice on problems that women of color face. Pretty much nothing, you know, I'm guessing get some advice on problems that women have color face. Pretty much nothing, you know, I'm guessing you are super interested in.

It's free mason's word to expand to allow females like me. I would be able to gain an instant nationwide network that would help me get jobs, connect with important people in my field, chemical engineering by the way, about 90% male, and learn from the collective wisdom of powerful people from the last several centuries, pretty much all I want from life. Well, that's the guy I can't argue with that. Unfortunately, I also can't change history. from the collective wisdom of powerful people from the last several centuries, pretty much all I want from life. Well, that's the guy I can't argue with that. Unfortunately, I also can't change history.

This is kind of some of what I, you know, sent back to Jessica. You know, I can't go back and create a female equivalent to the Freemasons. It is unfair to women, you know, that historical divide. But if we force fraternal organizations to open their doors to women, then we have to force women to open their group stores

to men, you know, my wife attends a few meetings for women. Some political, some letting her job as a real estate agent. She values be able to share her thoughts in a women's only environment. She feels comfortable saying things there that she wouldn't say necessarily if men were present, and I wouldn't want to take that away from her. Here's another example. A comedian, Eliza Sleshinger, she's being sued right now for turning away two men who wanted to attend a girls night out, or excuse me, girls night in show November 13th at the LARGO with

the Coronet Theatre in Los Angeles. The show was advertised as a hybrid stand-up show and interactive discussion between Eliza and the women in the audience aimed at giving women a place to vent in a supportive fun and inclusive environment. She invited all women of all walks of life to come laugh with her and be ready to share and feel safe for an awesome night of comedy and love. And two dudes are suing because they don't want to allow to do a tent.

And I want to punch both of them in their fucking whiny faces. Why can't there be a women's only night because it violates California state discrimination laws? Now laws that were passed for a good reason, I don't think this is a good example of those good reasons. Now imagine if that show was meant only. What if it was, I go back to the Mocha Mom example,

what if it was white men only? There would be more than a lawsuit. There would be national discussion. There would be protests and fucking outrage. And whoever put on that show would be a white supremacist. And again, I am a guy who has no interest in ever creating a dude only show, starting a dude only group, let alone a white dude only group.

But freedom can't apply to only one certain gender, only one certain race. It doesn't make sense to me to combat racism and sexism by being racist and sexist. So what do we do? You know, do all groups have to let anyone, and everyone join? Or as long as a group doesn't involve hiring employees

or letting someone into a school or business or, you know, can groups discriminate? Who gets to discriminate? Anyone? No one? You know, businesses can't do it. Is a lies-up? No one? Businesses can't do it. Is a Liza business? Should social clubs be allowed to do it?

Or is it time to end it for everyone? No free mason for turnover, no mocha moms, no other group of any type? Okay, so I kind of went back with that and then Jessica came back with another email. She said, again, just some excerpts, maybe the answer is not to sort people by categories. Instead of using white, black male, female,

a shorthand, we could define the Freemasons that a group for ambitious professionals in search of intellectual growth. And the all female showing of Wonder Woman for people who have felt depressed in a patriarchal society, especially in the modern society where gender is becoming more fluid, it might help more people to fit in, even if it is a lot harder to name a club or an event. Even the Boy Scouts are now allowing girls in if they want to learn the same things that Boy Scouts learn. I have been a part of a few women's groups myself and I am always pleased when men come to take interest in the kinds of things we talk about in an effort to understand. And then Jessica added later in the

email, at the same time I do see your point about allowing private institutions people to exclude people from groups. I just feel like there should be a reason behind it, as long as a man is not disruptive of the purpose of a woman's group, I would have no problem with him being there. State home dads are included in mothering groups. Gay men are included in groups to gossip about men, and female video gamers are allowed into the gamer chat rooms. I would just like to the same courtesy extended to me, where I am not excluded just because of a chromosome.

If there were religious beliefs behind the male freemasins or any visible reason beyond the fact that they wrote no women down on the piece of paper that also included defining the proper color race and religion, I could respect that. And later she signed off with, I really appreciate the ability to think this through further, even if probably just getting both of us entrenched

in our own opinions, future space lizard Jessica. Well, thank you, Jessica. And we did share a lot of other nice things too. That's what I love about this kind of back and forth, and it can be very respectful. And you know, a little bit of my response, the end last night is just maybe you're right. I said to Jessica, maybe the Freemasons

just are not the right group to be all male. I do still believe in men's groups, women groups, et cetera, when it is not some type of support group, or when it is some type, excuse me, of support group setting, but it comes to transferring ancient knowledge and bettering one's life, maybe division by sex really just is sexist in an out day way of thinking.

Who knows, maybe I'm really tired after a long day, or maybe you're changing and evolving my mind. And you know, and I realized talking to Jessica, you know, I just, I found myself defending freemasins right to be fraternal based on libertarian ideals that I think people should be able to form whatever group they want. But I also realized on a personal level that if I were a Freemason, I don't think I'd

give a shade of women who were allowed in. So what do you think? You know, this is an interesting discussion. Would it be a big deal to make Freemasons co-ed? Do men really need to have this particular group themselves? And if they do, or if they don't, you know, what groups are okay to divide by sex. You know, and again, uh, reminder, space lizards take everybody. I don't care if you have two dicks and four of a genus. I don't

care if you're half black, half white, and somehow also half Asian. I don't care if you're a right wing Christian fundamentalist during the week, and then an atheist Hollywood elite liberal on the weekend. If you're curious, you're fucking in. So that's where I stand in all of that. But I do want to hear from you about the Freemasons and more updates next week. Thank you Jessica, future space lizard and thanks to all of you. So that is it for today time suckers, you know, so I don't kill millions of people this week. Don't have a 13 year old girlfriend unless you're also around the age of 13. Listen to my new stand-up album. Maybe I'm the problem for Free on Pandora. Do it. And even more important, sign up to become a space lizard now and keep on sucking.

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