Timesuck with Dan Cummins - 98 - The Assassination of Lincoln: It's Crazier Than You Think

Episode Date: July 30, 2018

John Wilkes Booth wasn't some community theater bit player. He wasn't a bartender who did summer theater. He was one of the most famous actors of the day and a member of THE most famous acting family of the 19th century. And he killed the President. He killed the President after putting together several failed plans to kidnap the President. He was a heartthrob dubbed by some theater critics as "the most handsome man in America". Imagine Ryan Gosling or Tom Hardy trying to kill the President today. That is comparable to what Booth did. His story is fascinating! And we Suck it today! Timesuck is brought to you today by The Great Courses Plus! Do yourself a HUGE favor and get MUCH amazing, interesting, and informative content for FREE: https://www.thegreatcoursesplus.com/timesuck Merch - https://badmagicmerch.com/ Want to try out Discord!?! https://discord.gg/tqzH89v Want to join the Cult of the Curious private Facebook Group? Go directly to Facebook and search for "Cult of the Curious" in order to locate whatever current page hasn't been put in FB Jail :) For all merch related questions: https://badmagicmerch.com/pages/contact Please rate and subscribe on iTunes and elsewhere and follow the suck on social media!! @timesuckpodcast on IG, @timesuckpodcast on Twitter, and www.facebook.com/timesuckpodcast Wanna be a Space Lizard? We're over 2600 strong! Click here: https://www.patreon.com/timesuckpodcast Sign up through Patreon and for $5 a month you get to listen to the Secret Suck, which will drop Thursdays at Noon, PST. You'll also get 20% off of all regular Timesuck merch PLUS access to exclusive Space Lizard merch. You get to vote on two Monday topics each month via the app. And you get the download link for my new comedy album, Feel the Heat. Check the Patreon posts to find out how to download the new album and take advantage of other benefits. And, thank you for supporting the show by doing your Amazon shopping after clicking on my Amazon link at www.timesuckpodcast.com

John Wilkes Booth the first man to assassinate an American president the actor who killed Lincoln He probably knows an actor, but did you know he was a really really really famous? Very successful actor. He wasn't some bit player in community theater What's some guy who messed around with you know Shakespeare in the park for getting back to his real job in a meat packing plant when summer was over Wasn't trying to land a commercial agent in between peach delivery, you know or bartending gigs was over, wasn't trying to land a commercial agent in between Pete's delivery, you know, or bartending gigs. He was one of the most famous actors of his day. He was the leading heartthrob of his day.

The son of the most famous actor of his father's generation, his older brother Edwin was the most famous actor of his day. Edwin is considered by many historians to be the most accomplished American actor of the entire 19th century. His only other brother, older brother, Junius Brutus Booth Jr. was also a working actor. They were like the 19th century Baldwin's. You know,

Billy Baldwin had killed a president. Whereas Edwin was considered to have more mastery of his craft, one of his nicknames was literally the master. John Wilkes was considered to be more charismatic and handsome than technically skilled. He was especially known for his action scenes. He was noted swordsman. He was a 19th century equivalent to today's blockbuster action star. Not going to win an Oscar, but going to move a shit ton of tickets. If Instagram

would have been around in 1864, he would have had the most followers of any actor of his day. Legend has it. Female fans once literally ripped his shirt off as he was leaving the theater after performance. Women wanted John Wilkes both, men wanted to be him, and then he killed a fucking president. And historians don't think mental illness played a part in his decision. Think about that. It's truly comparable to a, like, you know, like, Keanu Reeves or Ryan Gosling or Dwayne the Rock Johnson killed a president today.

It's preposterous. It's outlandish, and it's true. Think of how crazy the media would go if something like that happened now. Anderson Cooper, Rachel Maddow, Shawn Hannity, like their heads might actually explode. The story of the planning and the aftermath of Lincoln's assassination is nuts. Tragedy in moments,

comically stupid with others, and we're gonna deep dive and suck this fascinating moment in history today on TimeSuck. Happy Monday, TimeSuckers. Happy New Week, Meet Sacks. Time to get shit right this week. Time to start fresh. Get out there, do great things. Get after it. Chase those dreams. But first, you know, listen to this episode. I'm Dan Cummins, grandmaster suck lord of the mishmouth. Tamer bow jangles kind of, tamer of lucifina not really. Disciple of Nimrod. Yeah, for sure. And you are listening to Time Suck. Welcome or welcome back

to the cult of the curious. Great news. Time Sucker Larry Harrel's little girl, Maybree is home and recovering very well from her heart surgery. Hail, Memorad! My name is Rod and I'm going to be working together and guide her to continue to health in an ass kick in life. Now, if you'll recall, a couple weeks ago,

we sent positive thoughts her way. And maybe those thoughts helped. Love you, little Maibri. Larry sent Lindsey and I a pick and she is adorable and she's tough as shit. Open heart surgery, it only five months old and she looks like nothing happened. It's incredible. Quick note on merch orders.

If you've ordered anything in the store since this past Saturday, expect some delays. Sorry about that. We should be back on track with normal shipping times starting next Monday. Here's what's going on. We're moving to a new Merch Distribution Company, Access Apparel at a Bloomington, Indiana. And they're amazing. And Logan, the company's founder, owner,

Jedi leader, space lizard, et cetera. Huge time sucker. Huge space lizard, dude, has time suck space lizard tattoos. For real. He's fucking in. He's all in. And they print in-house. they have a full-time staff to get orders to you quickly, they do a lot of source,

they don't have to be hind the scene stuff, et cetera. Eric Radiker has been a machine man, but Eric likes to specialize in smaller companies, help them grow, and he's helped us grow. He's helped time suck tremendously. So thank you, Eric. But Eric's one man crew with a full-time job that is not, you know, a merged distribution,

and new products coming out, we're killing him to get them time job that is not, you know, a merged distribution. And new products coming out, we're killing him to get them out on time because, you know, there's more of you guys now, more of you guys ordering stuff, you know, he was losing a lot of sleep, which I get. So it made sense for us to go to a bigger company and we wish Eric the best. And if you're starting a podcast or you got a small podcast or a small business and you're getting into online sales, highly recommend Eric Radiker. He's a great dude, great customer service,

he's a hard worker, and yeah, and we love him. So thank you guys for continuing to grow to suck. Man, we're just constantly trying to figure this out how to move forward in the best way, how to be the best little podcast business we can, get organized, get things right, provide better customer service and you get, because if you're familiar with my standup, business we can get organized, get things right, you know, provide better customer service and you get, because you know,

if you're familiar with my standup, you know, I have no patience for poor customer service. So it's weird being on this side of it and be like, oh, fuck, this is actually a lot of hard work. Just trying to grow and keep everybody happy. But just know that man, it is a priority. We are doing our best to get everything right, including the merch side of things,

gonna be able to make some real cool shit with Axis Apparel and Danger Brain collaborating together. Recording today's episode today, I had a great time and date in this past weekend. I love the diversity of time, stuff that's showed up, clean cut and conservative, tattooed and liberal, tattooed and conservative,

a lot of dudes, a lot of ladies, a lot of whites, a lot of not white meat sacks as well, and a huge range of ages. You know, and I love seeing that in the crowd, man. Our society, you know, in my self and moments, you can be so ageist in particular, act like people, you know, once they hit a certain age, they can't be fucking cool or creative or they're not funny anymore. What a bunch of bullshits!

Your grandma might be twice as cool as you. I'd rather have a Betty's cool shit, man. I was dancing to Chubby Checkers on a record player in her house less than a year ago. She got moves, she got more rhythm than I do, which probably isn't saying a lot. And I also truly had a great time in the way last week. I know it's recording episodes in the past, so I was like, I think I will.

Well, I did. I had a great time everywhere lately. 100th episode of Time Sucks coming up soon. A lot of time suckers have written in, asking if I'll do anything special for that episode, maybe shake it up. Some of you have suggested I do like a drunk history kind of version, you know, like a drunk as fuck suck.

Is what you were calling it and I have to think about it. I like it. It's been a long time since I've been really drunk and I'm gonna do it. And we've picked a weird topic to do, to make it that much more fun, The Axe Man of New Orleans. Apparently some do just went around terrorized New Orleans in 1918, 1919 with the fucking Axe. And he was never caught and he would do weird shit like you'd write into the press and

demand that everyone play jazz loudly from their homes or they're going to get some ax coming their way. Just crazy. It's going to be a good excuse to do some old-timey voices, get weird, learn about some New Orleans history, and be a big celebratory episode, man. A hundred straight weeks of uninterrupted suck. You're going to celebrate by doing a drunk suck. So it's going to get weird.

I hope you enjoy it. I'm very grateful. Flat-air tour rolls and the sides, splitters and tampers this weekend, August 2nd to the 5th. Excited for that. Excited to see you, who shows up. And then I'm going to keep it Florida following weekend. Palm Beach going to be there Friday through Sunday, August 10th to 12th. First time I'll be there. So hopefully it's a good impression. Historic stand event. You Zany's in Chicago's next,

man. A lot of shows in Zany's August 15th to 18th doing three on Saturday night, which is insane, but it's a small club. No bad seats. It's like a little cigar box, kind of 140. I think people fit in there, something like that. Westward to Denver, the comedy works, the 23rds, the 25th. Then a new live time suck on Sunday the 26th. Gonna build on what I learned during Orlando. And doing a topic that I won't release a studio version of, or at least a live version of, at least not this year.

And by the way, I think I said it on the secret suck, but sorry, there was a sound fuck up in Orlando. And essentially the sound booth guy from what I understand unplugged the recording device we are using, which sucks. So we lost all the clean audio for what I was actually saying and what Tom and Dan were actually saying. So sometimes shit happens.

I can lose the fena. She got us. And I will not be able to release a live version of that suck. Sorry, nothing can be done now. But going forward, I'm going to be doing a topic exclusive to the live time sucks. If you want to hear this topic, you have to come to one of the shows. I'm touring the rest of 2018 on the economic theories of Alan Greenspan. Why do we have inflation?

How do you correctly interpret wage strength indexes? How do interest rates affect real estate pricing? How does that affect the GDP growth? Or, you know, contraction of the economy, it's very exciting and get the fuck out of here. That's a terrible topic. For a live show, that's a terrible topic. Maybe for the studio version, sure, it would be good to actually learn some economic stuff.

But not for the live show. I want you guys to show up. Which is why the topic is the cold killings of Madame Morales. Holy shit is this weird intense, man, voodoo, drug smuggling, ritual killings. Adolfo Castanza was the cold leader of a gang dubbed by the media as the Narco Satanus. Narco Satanus, that's intense.

And his cold richly killed at least 20 people, maybe around a hundred near the US Mexico border in the late 80s. The dude richly sacrificed people to make potions out of their blood and body parts. He killed people because he thought it let him, you know, bring around some like demons and entities and use some black magic spells that would protect the drug smugglers from the authorities like for real. He thought I could make people invisible. And they thought he was able to make them invisible.

It's insane. One of his disciples led police to his hideout because they do literally thought Castanzo had made him invisible, went right past a police blockade and just acted like they couldn't see him. Act like they had no idea he was there and they just followed him right to the hideout and then caught him and found a bunch of bodies. And they were living on black magic and cocaine. It's going to be a wild ride.

They were apparently doing the most coke, which is how much coke you have to do to think you're invisible. Be sucking on this madness and Denver to come with Portland Grand Rapids and other lifetime sucks that I've forgotten or are coming down the pipe. More stand up flat earth, got two or dates also, just, you know, Dancomans.tv,

you can find all kinds of stuff. Now, let's get into 19th century. Let's get into a tale as twisted as a Tarantino flick and suck on the assassination of Abraham Lincoln. All right, we're going to save today's timeline for the planning execution and aftermath of Lincoln's assassination. Right now, I want to set the stage by starting with an explanation of who the booth family were. I didn't know any of this, probably because I went to school in Riggins, Idaho, and I don't know that we had

a history class in high school. I know that sounds insane, but I don't remember a single history class in high school in Riggins. Maybe Mr. Upteregral of top one, if he did, I'm guessing we covered one, maybe two topics, and then he just gave up. I hope that school is better now than it was in the 90s.

Anyway, John Wilkes Booth, he's born May 10th, 1838. He was named after the radical 18th century British journalist and politician, John Wilkes, whose ideas about the British constitution being subverted by corrupt politicians directly influenced the planners and leaders of the American Revolution. The ideas of the original John wilkes helped shape the american constitution especially concerning free speech

so as someone who says a lot of crazy outland is shit for living uh... thank you original john wilkes and it's important to know that due to his namesake john wilkes booth may have uh... you know been more aware than most about how important certain liberties were like it like fray like free speech and you might have been more affected than most by someone taking those liberties away which Lincoln did and we'll cover

that later. Booth was born in Bel Air, Maryland where he was known as of course the fresh prince. Now this is a story all about how was life got flipped learned upside down. I'd like to take a minute just sit right there tell you how John became the prince of a town, Cabelaire Marilyn born and raised in the woods was where he spent most of his days Chilling out maxing relaxed and all cool and I'll write in some horses too went from the school We're in a couple of guys who were up to super duper good at acting got famous in his neighborhood Then he got one little plane his mom got scared she, I think we have a famous actor in Bel Air. I know that was fucking cheesy, but it didn't stop me.

I pushed through. I heard that song so many times. As a kid, of course, it was not the Fresh Prince of Bel Air. And if you're like, what is happening right now? If you somehow don't know, just because you're age or whatever, yeah, there was a little show called the Fresh Prince of Bel Air that Will Smith was a big part of. All right, but he was in Belar, Maryland, this guy.

Belair is a rural area, boost time, an area settled way back in 1780, but not incorporated until 1874. And I just want to say, not easy, as it turns out, to sing those songs when you don't have music. That's tricky, that's tricky. I was trying to get a tune in my head, but I was like, oh man, okay, only around 10,000 people live there today. It's 66 miles north east of DC.

Only a few miles further than that, but in Virginia, one of the states that would secede from the north and join the Confederacy during the Civil War. And that's weird to me, man. Richmond, Virginia, just over a hundred miles south of Washington, DC, would actually be the capital of the Confederacy. How strange is that, man? Capital of the Union, capital of the Confederacy, only a hundred miles south of Washington, you see what actually with the capital, the Confederacy. And how strange is that, man? Capital, the union, capital, the Confederacy, only a hundred miles apart. That seems bad for war. So John was raised as a northerner. He lived amongst free African Americans during his youth.

He was also raised near the heart of the Confederacy. And John's father was the reputable Shakespearean actor, Junius Brutus Booth. His mother was Marianne Holmes, he had an idyllic country childhood. For the most party sense, the time in Baltimore too, but he spent a lot of time out there in Bel Air. As a child, he was athletic and popular. He's good with horses, rode one to school.

He was accomplished at fencing. His family was famous. His father had grown up in England and gained fame initially as a sword juggler. Now, prior to Junius, there were only records of jugglers juggling like pins, balls, other kind of harmless objects. Junius added both a sort and a unicycle to the show. And then shortly after attending some fame for circus like kind of his act, juggling swords, you know, sharp objects was actually outlawed in England because of him in a way, several

performers he influenced who didn't share his talent and skill and paled some unlucky audience members. And one lady actually died in in Highland Park. It also eventually became illegal to juggle anything while also unicycling after a toddler was run over in Covent Gardens. So, the phrase, don't run with scissors, morphed out of the original phrase, which was don't unicycle the swords, which morphed out of another much later saying, Dan Cummins is a full of swords, which morphed out of another much later saying, uh, Dan Cummins is a full

of shit lunatic. No, John Wilkes father, Jr. has never attained fame on a unicycle, uh, or drugling swords. God, I wish he did. He became a renowned Shakespearean actor after becoming involved in British theater around the age of 17, 1821 already famous in England, 25 year old, uh, immigrated to the United States with Mary and Holmes. This London flower girl, the leftist wife for, he had a child with his first wife, but he left them behind. This original family he had been and would eventually seek him out

in the US, kind of create a minor scandal around him, but every some black militants, that kind of stuff, but never actually seemed to affect his career. Junius bought 150 acres in Maryland, Bel Air, his family, was new family, lived in a, Bel Air, his family was new family, lived in a log cabin there. And within a year, he became America's most widely known and sought after stage actor, specializing in Shakespearean tragedies. The fame poet Walt Whitman was a big fan. He toured all over the Eastern Seaboard, take his new family Europe for theater tours, junior's toured relentlessly for years. And many years after his death in 1991, he was inducted into the theater Hall of Fame

So so John Wilkes grew up with a with a very famous father and then his older brother Junius Jr Born in 1821 when junior senior just barely admitted to America also became a working actor and Then Junius is his brother, you know married a noted actress Australian immigrant Agnes Booth Junius Jr. was was also 17 years older than John Wilkes. So John would grow up never remembering the time when his father and brother weren't working actors of noted actors. And when he wasn't surrounded by other actors

in the theater scene in general. Man, Junior's brood is Booth. What a odd name, right? His dad was supposedly named after Marcus Junior'sius Brutus, one of the men who killed Julius Caesar in Shakespeare's tragedy. So apparently John Wilkes grandparents were big theater fans as well. Like, you know, you don't name your kid, Junius Brutus, if you wanted to become like an accountant or a banker or a doctor, clearly a very dramatic family. Brother Edwin, five years older than John, made his stage debut with his father

when he was 16 years old and John was 12. In early 1850, the family upgraded from living in that log cabin to a stately home, noticed two to haul also on their Belar property around that time. That home is still there and on the national register of historic places. The family was able to acquire a second home due to their success in Baltimore and they'd split time between Baltimore and Valera for part of Booth's childhood and the Booth's ballin in Maryland making that 19th century theater money Pretty impressive actually because it is hard as it is to make money as an actor now I bet it was harder back then less less ways to make money fewer people, you know

We're able to pay their bills to acting. You know, it was live theater or it was fucking nothing. No film, no TV, no host-driven reality television, no voiceover work, commercials, spokesperson shit, no YouTube fame, no, it's live theater, nothing. And then in 1852, when John was 14, his father died from a fever, probably ill, from drinking a river water near Cincinnati,

damn river, dysentery water. Remember that from the Donner party suck? You probably heard McGill's pop shortly before he passed, you know, probably blew his butt hole clean off. Just, oh God. And then he's gone. But in the age of 16, John Wilkes had decided to join the family business, begin working on his monologues,

speaking voice, studying Shakespeare daily. Booth made his stage debut at age 17, August 14th, 1855, in a supporting role of the Earl of Richmond. In Richard III, at Baltimore's Charles Street Theatre. Charles Street Theatre. Early on, he wasn't the best actor. He had a problem memorizing lines. I have a terrible memory.

I can relate. 1858, he acted in the play Lucrezia, Borgia. And when it was time for him to go on stage, he fumbled his first line. This would have been great to see. He's saying, Madam, I am Patushio Pandolfo. Madam, I am Pandolfio, Pat, but it all feel Pat, Pentusio, Pat, damn it. Who am I? I guess the audience had a good laugh at his expense. I relate to that way too much. Even early on though, when he was not a good actor in a technical sense, he was captivating.

American critic, journalist Jim Bishop wrote the booth, developed into an outrageous scene stealer, where he played his parts with such heightened enthusiasm that the audiences idolized him. He had that it factor, man, had that star factor. Also in 1858, he became a company actor at the Richmond theater in Virginia where he became increasingly popular with audiences for his energetic performances.

And this is important to what will happen later. You know, because while John Wilkes father had attained fame primarily in states that would later be union states. New York, Pennsylvania, Maryland, he even successfully toured California with John's brother Edwin. John would attain his most fame in the South and with Richmond audiences in particular. John's brother Edwin also became more famous than North and South. South love Johnny Wilkes Booth, JWB, big and sweet T-states. Also it's important to note that John Wilkes loved tragedies and his favorite character to play was Brutus.

Brutus coming up again in this character was a part of like family lore. The man who would kill Julius Caesar, the man who'd overthrow a tyrant. Let's examine his favorite role for a bit because it says a lot about him. It'll be revealed later that his obsession with this role directly motivated his decision to kill Abraham Lincoln. Caesar is beloved by the people of Rome, but abused his power. Cassius plans on killing him,

but Brutus isn't so sure about joining the conspiracy. Then Brutus and Cassius hear that Caesar refused the crown three times when Mark Anthony offered it to him because Caesar hoped the crowd would beg him to take it. But actually the people were thrilled that he didn't want to be king, which makes Caesar mad because he totally wants to be king. He's got a huge power boner. He's sporting some

big ol' crown wood. Got that throne wood rocking his shorts, rocking his toga, I guess. He wants to be tyrant. The conspirators meet, they show Brutus some letters that approve of their plan, which are forged actually by the conspirators. Brutus finally decides that he has to kill Caesar in case Caesar becomes king, because then he'll hurt the people of Rome. And then they do kill Caesar. They all agree that they've killed Caesar for the good of Rome, but Mark Anthony delivers the speech that turns public opinion against the conspirators

and they have to flee. A lot of stuff happens, including the battle with Caesar's adopted son and Mark Anthony, but in the end, Brutus is about to be outnumbered and commit suicide. But when Mark Anthony finds Brutus' body, he calls Brutus the noblest Roman of them all. Because Mark Anthony believed Brutus was the only one truly acting in the best interest

of Rome. So the favorite role of John Wilkes Booth is that of a man who conspires to kill the leader of his country and then is later revered for doing so as a selfless hero. And this speaks to to JWB psyche. Speaks possibly to how he saw himself in his later role of assassin. Another interesting thing to notice the wall while previously attending boarding school as a teen, Booth met a fortune teller who told him he would die young and meet a bad end. She said he would break hearts, but there'll be nothing to you.

You'll die young and leave many to mourn you. You'll make a bad end. Young sir, I've never seen a worst hand and I wish I hadn't seen it but if I were a girl I'd follow you through the world for your handsome face. Okay, weird fortune to get. That's fucking terrible. Look good news. You're super duper handsome. Like God, you make me, I'm a guy, not into dudes, but fuck man, I just keep thinking about how if I was a girl I would totally follow you to the ends of the earth what's you know it's kind of my way to saying why don't you bone me right now but you're also gonna die young that's the bad news you'll be dead soon but you'll have a you know fucking good run well yeah apparently this bothered him

for years really stuck in his head he worried about about, you know, this fortune being right. And yeah, and again, man, what a bummer. I wonder if some fortune tellers give fortunes like that to people they don't like. I wouldn't be tempting to do that. I feel like I wish I could say otherwise, but I feel like I might do that if I was a fortune teller. Like you have some customer comment who's being a real asshole. How tempting would it be just to give them the worst fortune? Oh, man. Ah, bummer, Michael. I can't idea. Future is looking horrific for you.

You have no more than two years left to live and there's nothing you can do about it. Someone in your family is gonna kill you, from what I can tell, but I don't know who. But I do know it's gonna be real bad, like very painful. It's gonna take a long time to play out. After you die, this is where it gets worse. A lot of bad stuff's gonna be found

on your computer hard drive. Like so much bad stuff that the name Michael Salter will become synonymous with disgusting pedophile. I wish I could tell you something else. People are gonna say stuff after you die. Like, did you hear about Charles getting arrested? Man, apparently he was sold tearing some kids from the neighborhood down at the community pool.

So, yeah, do you wanna pay by cash or credit? And there's no point in you sticking around longer. It's just, I don't know. Knowing what I know about what's gonna happen with you going forward, I don't even wanna be around you right now. Booth's fortune teller was right about the handsome part, man. John Deere owner of Booth's favorite billiard parlor

and close friends that a Booth, John cast a spell over most men, and I believe over most women. As he talked, he threw himself into his words. He could hold a group spellbound by the hour with a force and fire and beauty that was within him. Some critics actually called him the handsomeest man in America.

I looked at all pictures. He is a good looking dude. He stood out among his contemporaries for both his looks and stage presence. A lot of his acting involved leaping on tables. Again, the scene stealing, kind of stomping around, captivating audiences. He had tons of charisma.

Walt Whitman once said he would have flashes, passages I thought of real genius. The Philadelphia press said he had less culture and grace than his brother Edwin, but more natural talent. And his brother Edwin probably said on at least one occasion, man, fuck John. On a better actor, I try harder. I fucking take it seriously. Pretty boy can't remember his lines.

By the Civil War, John Wilkes was starting to make good money for an actor for anybody at that time. He's making $20,000 a year, which translates to over $500,000 a year in today's dollars. He just booked his first national tour as a leading actor in 1859, tour last into 1860, and then on April 12th, 1861, the Civil War kicks off. And Booth, who had fallen in love with the South by this point,

was unlike anyone else in his family, openly in favor of the South. He publicly called their secession heroic. He was an open advocate and supporter of slavery. He was very against abolitionists. He believed that slavery was actually good for Africans because it introduced him to Christianity and to God's glory. I'm not kidding.

Holy fucking rationalization. No, no, no, no. No, this is good. This is good. Look, look, if these people weren't put on boats and taken from their homelands and separate it from their families and whipped and beaten and literally worked to death in many cases, forced to live in tiny, overcrowded sheds, constantly worked, you know, and treated like subhuman animals, they wouldn't get to know God's love. Would they?

This is good. God wants them to be whipped and worked to death. It's his will. That's how you get to meet Jesus. Yes, Jesus loves you. Yes, Jesus loves you. Now get them back to work for I fucking whip you some more. What a strange, strange species we are.

Like the stories we tell ourselves to make our lives acceptable. And they'll see fascinating to me. But anyway, both have been spending more and more time in the South past year or so. He'd fall in love with it, which I do get outside of the whole slavery situation. The South has a lot of charm, has had a lot of charm.

You know, the culture of the South has a lot more to do than just the decision to have slaves. Has a real gone with the wind kind of gentile life vibe to it, or at least it used to morph when I understand, still has remnants of that today. I love this out, man. I love doing shows in the South. I do feel there is a little more cultural emphasis

on manners, civility, behavior a little more properly down there, which you know if you listen to my stamp that I don't mind. Southern bells, Southern gentlemen, real thing. I love a little decency. Don't act like an animal out there in public. When Booth publicly proclaimed his love for the South in the North, not well received.

In the Civil War broke out, he's performing in Albany, New York. And he so publicly professed his love for the South that some citizens demanded he be banned from stage. Or even arrested for treason, for openly pro-southern views. Nevertheless, despite his political opinions, his career as an actor grew during the Civil War, above and below the mason dixon line, sold tickets everywhere he went, also received fan mail from admirers daily, especially from women. Doesn't mention this and any of my sources, but considering he was young, single for most

of his touring, I feel like there may be a variety of people out there today who are the descendants of, you know, of affairs that he had where he, illegitimately fathered children. I have no proof of that at all whatsoever. But come on, actor, handsome, hit with the ladies, touring think. And check out this bit of random cool trivia. November 25th 1864, Booth performed for the only time with his brothers Edwin and Junius in a single engagement production of Julius Caesar at the Winter Garden Theatre in New York. He played Mark Anthony and his brother Edwin had the larger role of Brutus and a performance acclaimed as the greatest theatrical event in New York history. And then the proceeds went towards a statue of William Shakespeare for Central Park, which stands to this day. I've seen it myself.

Still looks good, man. Still looks like Willie. Oh, Willie, yes. I had no idea John Wilkes Booth, murderer of Lincoln, helped fund that particular statue. Where does that? Meanwhile, while continuing to have career financial success during the war, personally, John Wilkes is really beginning to struggle morally. He's drawn anger by the day with Lincoln.

He's starting to see him as a tyrant and based on the that love he has for Brutus, you know, we know how he feels about tyrants. And Lincoln to be fair is starting to do some trans-coulless shit. When the war broke out, Lincoln enacted martial law in many places, including John Wilkes Homestate, a Maryland border state suspended the writ of habeas corpus, which required that a person be brought before a judge or court, especially for investigation of a restraint of the person's liberty,

used as a protection against illegal imprisonment. So Lincoln can now arrest anyone for any reason. Not have to prove anything, just throw whoever he wanted in jail. And Booth saw that, you know, is the action of a tyrant. And again, it is the action of a tyrant, but I get why Lincoln didn't or did it. You know, it's what he needed to do to win the war.

You know, in times of war, if you really want to win odds are you're going to have to be a little ethically flexible, right? You're going to have to allow some theoretical ethics here and there to take a back seat to realistic needs. I hate it when people get worked up about certain things and war. It's like, it's fucking war. Of course, it's not going to be all proper and no civilians are ever going to get heard. Everything is going to be perfect and there's going to be no collateral damage.

When does that fucking ever happen? It's the chaos of war. And as long as you get to win, you get the right history. Isn't that how it works? You get to be the good guy if you win uh... well because of what link in accomplished you know uh... we now view him is almost saintly you know historically but in order to accomplish what he did he took away a lot of

freedoms you know uh... you know if suddenly you could be thrown in jail for saying you don't like the president would you consider the president tyrant of course you would would be a big fan of course not and and many outside of booth did see link in the tyrant many despised him during his lifetime. We forget that now. So many that he was very concerned about winning reelection in 1864.

Highly doubtful at times. And actually for a while, it looked like he wasn't going to win. But then the North won some key victories against the South and that kind of paved the way for him winning in the landslide. But it wasn't just a South who hated him. A lot of Northerners were starting to get tired of the south and that kind of paved the way for for actually him when in the landslide but it wasn't just a south who hated a lot of northerners you know we're starting to get tired of the war and start not to like what was going on as well uh... also in eighteen sixty three both as arrested and st. Louis for making a

comment that he wished the president the whole damn government go to hell he's only released after he makes an oath of allegiance and pays a substantial fine this definitely fuels his view of Lincoln's tyrant. And though Lincoln has become his Caesar for sure by now. November 9th, 1863, a family friend of the booths opens the 1500, excuse me, seat forward theater in Washington, DC. And booths was one of the first leading men to appear there, playing in Charles Selby's

The Marble Heart. I love this historical detail. One of the first leading men to perform in the theater where he would later kill Lincoln. And Lincoln a few years before his death did watch Booth perform there. I watched him perform in that opening play. Lincoln watched a lot of shows at Ford Deeter.

It's less than a mile from the White House. In that first play, Booth portrayed a Greek sculptor in costume making marble statues come to life. Lincoln watched the play from the presidential box and at one point during the performance Lincoln stood up, took a shirt off and asked Booth to suck his nipples which gets left out of every single historical text

I have found because that never happened but fuck that would have been amazing. Can you imagine? Just feed, burn me Booth! Take your hands and face! I don't know why you Scottish right there. Put it on my nipple! Did you know that Lincoln was Scottish? Uh, can you imagine just a feed upon me booth take your handsome face. I don't know why he's got us right there. Put it on my nipple. Did you know the link was Scottish?

I didn't until I just did that voice. Um, so one point no during the performance, the booth was said to have shaken his finger and Lincoln's direction as he delivered a line of kind of pointed dialogue. Uh, Lincoln's sister-in-law was sitting there in the same presidential box and turned to him and said, Mr. Lincoln, it looks as if that's meant for you. And the president replied, he does look at me pretty sharp or no, he does look pretty sharp at me, doesn't he? So they had a little interaction, you know, a long time before the assassination. On another occasion, Lincoln's son Tad, his young son Tad saw a booth perform at the fourth theater, said the actor thrilled and prompted Booth to give

Tad a rose, but then Booth ignored an invitation to visit the Lincoln between acts. I hate the president so much refuses to meet him. Booth starts having some problems as family around this time is his brother Edwin starts refusing to tour at all in the south. They quarrel over their very political views to the point that John Wilkes gets banned from Edwin's home. You know, I've talked to a lot of you about how the current political climate is divided, you know, families, it's getting better,

but definitely that's gone on the last couple of years. Well, you know, maybe there's some small consolation in the fact that this isn't the first time this has happened in our country. And then shit starts to get real crazy for Boes in 1864. As the 1864 presidential election drags on, the chances of a Confederate victory are a start and a look pretty slim. And after again, those few key military victories in 1864, such as Union General William

T. Sherman, to come to Sherman, taken Atlanta from the South on July 22nd, it seemed like it shouldn't take that much longer to secure a Union victory. And that victory directly helps Lincoln get elected. Boots internal struggles continue. He wants to take a break now from acting to actually fight in the war on behalf of the Confederates. But he promises mother he wouldn't join the army and he hated himself for making that promise. He wrote to his mother towards the war is end. I have begun to deem myself a coward and to despise my own existence. Here he is, playing the roles of brave men who fight for their beliefs on stage, battling other actors and mock sword play, while other men his age are actually

risking their lives for what they believe in. So he comes up with the way to redeem himself in his mind for not joining the fight earlier. He comes up with a plan to sell replica swords, give the proceeds to Confederate cause, and then he finds out there's not a big market for swords, you overestimated it, but there is a big market for tiny plastic swords that people use to stick through martini olives, or hold little meat and cheese bundles together on appetizer trays.

So, booth starts making tiny swords, and you can still buy them today on eBay. In original set of booth cocktail swords, we'll set you back around $3,500, and you can only buy them from bogeangles He's not selling any because you use them to pick his teeth after meals and because they're not real and none of that is true But listen to this Booth does want to redeem himself for not fighting battle

Initially he formulates plans to kidnap Lincoln. This is before the assassination plot His original plans include kidnapping and kidnap Lincoln from his summer residence at the old soldiers' home, three miles from the White House, smuggling across the Potomac River into Richmond, Virginia. Once in Confederate hands, he thinks that Lincoln could be exchanged for Confederate army prisoners of war held in northern prisons. And, booze-reasoned, you know, this could bring the war to an end by emboldening opposition to the war in the north or by forcing the union to recognize the Confederate government. And while this may sound crazy and it certainly was, it wasn't actually that far fetched an idea to be able to kidnap Lincoln.

The secret service did not exist in any form until 1865 and they didn't be in offering full-time protection to the president until 1902. It was kind of up to the president's discretion if they wanted somebody to kind of guard them or not. They would start guarding the president of full time following the assassination of another president, president McKinley in 1901. He was assassinated 1901 and then they, you know, they offered 1902. Lincoln would sometimes write a loan in between the White House and the old soldiers home, totally alone. He's a fucking he's a president of the union. There's a war going on with other Americans

living just a few miles away and he just hop into the carriage and just go for a little stroll. Hard for me to imagine what happened. To me, that's like seeing Trump cruise by on a Harley when you're out. Nobody guards, no secret service. You know, he imagine that shit.

You know, you're just walking around DC. I don't know, you're gonna get some fucking Jimmy Johns and then fucking Trump just scutes by and and hardly. Like back in Lincoln, sign presidents would just walk into bars, they just walk into restaurants and stuff without being guarded, you know, it's so, so strange. I'll have a gin and tonic and the president of the United States will have a whiskey sour and we'd like some nachos for the table. Hi, I'd like to be put, I'd like our name to be put on the waiting list, party of two for the goddamn president of the United States. 20, 30 minute wait.

Yeah, that's fine. That's fine. A booze kidnapping plot takes it directly into today's time sub timeline that will lead to both his arrest and to Lincoln's death. and to Lincoln's death. Shrap on those boots, soldier. We're marching down a time, suck time, line. Did I say a rest? I meant death for both. You knew that. That's the part of the story you do already know.

He's kind of arrested. He wasn't alive when he was arrested. Okay, January 18th, 1865. John Wilkes Booth, two co-conspirators, first planned a kidnap Lincoln on January 18th, 1865. Yep, it was a plan they'd been discussing since August of 1864. I'm thinking about it for a while. Booth had abandoned his son to take a Lincoln from his from the old soldier's home. And now his plan is to attack Lincoln in his box for a theater on January 18th. Time up. And this is real.

And then lower him down from the balcony to make a quick getaway. Yeah, just no biggie. Just time up. Just lower him down. You know, like something you'd see an idiotic villain do in a cartoon. You know, you didn't get a chance to test his ass nine plan because Lincoln changes plans in the last minute, opting to stay at home instead of going to the theater on a stormy night.

And because those co-conspirators thought it was like a really stupid plant like they were opening like dude what I've you've gone mad. I'm not going to lower him from the balcony by a rope in the dark and just let some other guy you know just walk him on out like that's not going to get us all caught and killed. The original co-conspirators were two childhood friends cursed to grow up near this maniac. One was Samuel Arnold. Samuel Arnold was born in Washington DC September 6th 1834. The Arnold was born in Washington, DC September 6th, 1834. The Arnold family later moved to Baltimore and Arnold attended St. Timothy's military academy where he was a classmate of John Wilkes Booth. And then there was Michael O'Loughlin,

born in Baltimore, Maryland, 1840. One of John Wilkes Booth's earliest friends as the Booth family had a home just across the street from Neil Lofflin's in Baltimore, you know, when they weren't in Bel Air. Um, despite it being a really dumb plan, booths still wanted to try the kidna- kidna be planning again a few months later this time in March 17th, uh, when Lincoln was supposed to attend another performance at the theater. Uh, he met again with, you know, uh, his conspirators, actually more co-conspirators this time to discuss his plan met with six men.

And again, everyone thought it was crazy, you know, just let me get this straight. You want us to somehow quietly sneak up on President Lincoln in the balcony, quietly somehow tie him up while also keeping anyone who may be with him also quiet, then lower him via a rope to the stage in a theater with hundreds of Union soldiers and Union sympathizers and then just and then just whisk him away Just just nothing to see everybody all part of this nice performance looks. I know looks. Look at the president doesn't he? Remarkable with the House wardrobe and makeup department can do big hand big hand for the theater big hand for the wardrobe Department. Yes. I'm gonna drag this random actor who is definitely not the president backstage before he gets loose and Talked us in crazy time. Yeah, you just Yeah, booze actually wanted to do that. He thought that would work random actor who is definitely not the president backstage before he gets loose and he starts

talking to some crazy stuff. Yeah, he's just, yeah, Booth actually wanted to do that. He thought that would work. He said, one of you will turn down the gas lights and the theater will be plunged into darkness and then lose power will get into the president's box. He'll be the one who's going to subdue Lincoln, tie him up and then lower him to the stage with a long rope in the darkness. And then another conspirator, you know, this buddy Sam Arnold from old friend from childhood,

scoffed at the audacity of the plan saying, you can be the leader of the party, but not all executioner, adding its madness beyond measure. Then Lincoln's travel plans and other change again, the plan's tossed out for a second time. And who are the additional four conspirators that weren't part of the first kidnapping plan? One of them is Louis Powell. Louis Powell was born April 22nd, 1844, Randolph County, Alabama, 1861 when the Civil War breaks out, he volunteers as a Confederate soldier and then Powell fought in the Battle of Gettysburg. Shot taken prisoner, taken to a hospital in Baltimore, re-escaped and

listed in the Virginia cavalry, 1863. Eventually left the cavalry, took the oath of allegiance to the Union on January 13th, 1865, went to live in a boarding house in Baltimore that was being used as a front by Confederate spies. Because towards the war's end, it was kind of throughout the war. And then for a little while after the war, actually, there was this underground Confederacy, you know, in the north. There was spies and double agents. Around this time, 21-year-old Powell meets John Wilkes Booth through a fellow member of the Northern Confederate Underground, John Sarat. Now, Booth saw Powell, who was six

one and well built with black hair and blue eyes, as a strong co-conspirator and his planned kidnap Lincoln. Powell would soon regret ever getting involved with Booth on any level. And then Sarat, John Sarat was born in April 13th, 1844, Washington, D.C. District of Congress Heights. Soon after his father died in 1862, Sarat became postmaster of the small Maryland town of Sarat'sville, first settled by his family. By 1863, Sarat was working as a Confederate secret agent carrying messages to Confederate boats in the Potomac River, sending messages to about Union troop movements in Washington and the Washington area south to Richmond and A man who will enter our tail here soon Dr. Samuel mud

Dr. mud introduced John Serrat to John Wilkes booth on December 23rd 1864 in Washington DC and then 21 year old Serrat joined the conspiracy to abduct President Lincoln 1865 There was also a 30 year old George Azeroth, born in Germany, June 12, 1835. George had immigrated to the US in 1843, and if this was some sort of heist flick, like the usual suspects, George would be the fuck up character. He'd be like the Stephen Baldwin character. During the Civil War, Azeroth helped Confederate agents, including John Cereot, crossed the Potomac River, Cereot invited Azerothot to Washington where he stayed for a time at Mary Sarrot's boarding house until he was evicted for drinking alcohol in his room.

Fucking booze, man. George's drink is going to show up again in today's sec. In January 1865, George is introduced to John Wilkes Booth and Washington, DC by John Sarrot. Booth persuades him to participate in his plan to kidnap Lincoln and then hold him in Virginia and exchange for those Confederate POWs. Finally, and then there's also a 23 year old David Herald. David Herald was a six of 11 children born to a chief clerk at the Navy store in the Washington Navy Art in 1842. Worked as a pharmacist assistant and as a clerk for a doctor, he was an avid hunter, became equated,

acquainted with John Sarrot while attending classes at Charlotte Hall Military Academy in the late 1850s. December of 1864 Sarrot introduces him to John Wilkes Booth. And you know, and in this meeting we'll lead directly to his death less than a year later. And then also what's mentioned here is Mary Sarrot, who would also later be found guilty and conspiring in Lincoln's assassination, Mary was John Sarrot's mother. It was somewhere between the ages of 42 and 45 and 1865, hard to say how much she contributed to the plan. If anything, she owned a few properties, including a boarding house in Washington, DC,

where these guys would meet up and have their little secret, you know, plans and discuss them and all that stuff. Okay. March 4th, 1865, still unable to kidnap Lincoln. Booth attends Lincoln's second inauguration in DC. Booth was able to get very close to Lincoln on this day within a few yards. He was able to attend the inauguration as he was a personal guest of Senator John Parker Hale's daughter Lucy.

Lucy happening to be his girlfriend at the time. She apparently did not know how he felt about the president. And on this day, Booth got close enough to lunge at Lincoln. I had to be restrained by police. He explained that he had simply stumbled, but then later mused in his diary, what an excellent chance I had if I wished to kill the president on an auguration day.

Not sure if he actually had any real plan to do anything with Lincoln that time. It doesn't sound like it too many people around to take Lincoln. And if you really did want to kill him that day, why not bring it? You know, I guess he just got angry. It was just kind of a heat of the moment thing.

Got angry when Lincoln got close to him and just impulsively moved towards him. Because by this time, I mean, he, I mean, very, very much despises Lincoln. Also in hand-to-hand combat, Lincoln might have kicked booze ass. Lincoln was six, four athletic, JWB athletic, but like, five, eight. Lincoln was an accomplished wrestler as a kid. He wasn't the wrestler, the internet says. He was. He wasn't body slam and dudes from coast to coast. It wasn't like, you know, Karen Intercontinental belts around on his shoulder. But he did win some matches as a wrestler in his youth.

Booth would truly want to start to kill Lincoln the following month. On April 11th, Booth shifts his goal from the kidnap to Lincoln to his just outright murder. With the fall of Peter's Birken Richmond and the Confederate leader Lee surrender to grant at the a potomax or Appomattox Appomattox fuck Jesus courthouse on April 9th watched him with consumed by celebration on the eve of April 10th 1865 a crowd of some 3000 people gathered outside the White House hoping

for some rousing words from the president and response to their cries of speech speech Lincoln demured saying he he'd deliver an address to follow and even had to prepare it. And then Lincoln prepared a speech that would be his last public address, very carefully, beginning his speech on April 11th on a joyful note, saying, we meet this evening not in sorrow but in gladness of heart. The evacuation of Peter's book and Richmond and the surrender of the principal and surgeon army give hope of a righteous and speedy peace.

And then he promised a day of national Thanksgiving and proceeded directly to remind the nation that it now faced a task fraught with great difficulty. Well the former formerly jubilant crowdfall silent Lincoln delivers his remarks. Most Lincoln speech dealt with specifics about the recently established free state government Louisiana, which Lincoln hope could serve as a model for other former Confederate states during reconstruction. He spoke of economic independence for recently freed southern African Americans and about how they should be granted the right to vote amongst other rights, you know, and this talk really pissed off John Wilkes Booth.

He declared this will be the last speech Lincoln would give and he will be right. And he and some of his co-conspirator underground Confederates, they form another plan. And this time they actually are gonna give it a go. And why are these other guys going along with Booth's plans? Well, partly because they are also Confederate sympathizers who do hate Lincoln, but also they probably went along with it because Booth was a big star,

who they admired greatly and they didn't want to disappoint. You know, the rest of these guys are not known on any level in society. Like you might not be interested in murdering anybody, right? But what if Ryan Gosling suddenly just became one of your best buddies? It's just you, you and the guys, right? Hang in there, go into bars,

you're in Ryan Gosling, then a circle now, you can't believe it. You've never known a truly famous person before, your other friends or jealous as hell. Just man, why are you hanging out with Ryan Gosling? You know, you can be like, well, you know, we actually, you know, we grew up together for a while. Or, you know, I just met him to some friends, you know, he's healthy, cool. Which is how these other guys get involved, you know, they just meet him through Srirat.

You're shown up at a premiere of one of his movies. It's awesome. You're meeting other stars. It's like, dude, dude, are, are Penelope Cruz and Selena Gomez in the fucking hot tub right now? Yeah, I guess so. You know, Jailo is just back there a second ago. Amy Adams just left to get her swimsuit. She'll be back. I mean, how cool is that, right? But then what if like a few weeks later, Ryan is like,

man, it's been fun. It's been fun hanging out, right? Love you guys. You guys are awesome. Hey, I need to ask you a favor though. Uh, I need you to help me kill a president. Look, look, I can get into his dinner club. I can get past security and I'm gonna pull the trigger.

I just need you guys to do some other shit for me. Like hopefully you would still go along with it, but star power is a real thing. Truly affects a lot of people. Like, you know, you might want, you might not want to help him kill, but you know, if it wasn't for him, you wouldn't have been in the hot tub when any Amy Adams took off her top. So it feels like, you know, kind of is fair to pay him back. Partly, again, these other conspirators also hated the union. Yeah, like I said, but they probably wouldn't have actually tried to kill Lincoln.

If it wasn't for this handsome, charismatic, convincing, John Wilkes' move character. Okay, so now let's get into the actual assassination plan right after sponsor time. Today's time suck is brought to you by the great courses plus you will love the adventure of learning new things. I know you love the adventure already of learning new things. That's why you list the time stock.

Hail Nimrod. And that's why you're gonna love watching the list into the great courses plus. Now the great courses plus lets you explore fast-ending topics, learn from award-winning experts about anything that interests you, like ancient history, astronomy, psychology, how to take better photos, how to bend more effectively with yoga, how to, you know, special

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slash time suck. That's the greatcoursesplus.com slash time suck. Get that free month, link in the episode description. And I do appreciate the emails people have sent in here recently Talking about signing up and talking about how glad they are having done so Okay, we're back. We're back into the day of Lincoln's assassination April 14th just three days after the speech that enrages him John Wilkes Booth decides to kill the president of the United States Right so weird again try to picture Tom Hardy making that decision. He's gonna go on the snic, you'll see me fall in the promoters upcoming film Venom.

He's gonna try and schedule the same to the Trump will be there so they can shoot him and then run out to the audience. Like, this is that level of crazy. And if you're thinking again, yeah, but different because a lot of people really don't like Trump and people love Lincoln, well, remember what I said earlier, you know.

Way more people love Lincoln and death than they didn't life. Uh, Lincoln was feeling great on April 14th. Better than he had in years, General Robert Lee had surrendered the last significant Southern army to the North just five days before. There would be a few Confederate holdouts that would still, you know, officially on the books be it war, the last group of troops surrounding on June 2nd, when General Edmund Kirby Smith signed surrender terms for the Confederate troops west of the Mississippi. But for all intent purpose, the war is essentially over four

long years of fighting, almost four years to the day have come to a close. Lincoln and his wife Mary have two living children, both sons, their other two children, also both sons have died in childhood. A little Eddie died in 1850,50 at three of what they called consumption, but historians probably filled with cancer actually. William Wallace, a Willie died during the war from typhoid fever. He was 11, 1862. Their son Tad would die at the age of 18 and 1871, six years after his father of consumption or possible genital heart failure. I run up to their only son to fight in the civil war. Robert is the only child who would survive into old age, living until 1926, dying at the age of 82. He would only fight in the last three weeks of the war and in a

non combat role because his mother Mary Todd begged Lincoln to spare him from battle, planted. We have lost one son and his loss is as much as I can bear without being called upon to make another sacrifice. Lincoln was the tough son of the bitch. And he actually argued that his son should fight saying, our son is not more dear to us than the sons of other people odds that they have mothers. And poor Mary Todd, she saw her husband and three of her four children taken long before she was after her son's tadstath. Actually, she would not surprisingly sink into a deep dark depression,

begin mentally unraveling to the point that her remaining son, son Robert had had her involuntarily committed to an asylum, yet to an asylum poor Robert man, his father taken what he was in childhood, all his brothers dead while he's still a young man. And then he has to put his mom in an institution. She'd soon get out, you know, you know, and, but putting her in caused the two not to speak again until shortly before her death. Uh, years later, tragedy. Man, so much tragedy around Lincoln's.

But on the morning of April 14th, 1865, things were looking good. Uh, things were, things were, you know, feeling right. The future's looking bright. And, uh, which, again, since we know how this ends, it's gonna be sad. But Lincoln, Mary, they're about looking to the future that morning. Lincoln's AIDS and Cater members recalled that he'd woken up feeling lighter than he'd felt in years. It's a day gets assassin. Looks better, has more color in his face, looked like a way to be lifted off his shoulders.

Lincoln and Mary that morning take a carriage ride together, just a two of them. Talk about what life might be like when they're when they return to Springfield when politics is all over. Mary would later recall the Lincoln said, Mary, we've got to try and be happy now. Our future is ahead of us. Then others would recall that he would add, JK, one of those actors is gonna shoot me in the head tonight. Crazy, right?

OMG, FML. No, that never happened. They felt like they had made it though, through the toughest time of the lives, and then hours later, Lincoln would be dead. Meanwhile, that same morning, Booth had slept in. Lazy actors, man.

Just Lindsey low-handed it up, around town town and crashed until whenever you happen to wake. Sounds like much of my life in my 20s and some of my 30s, actually. After rolling out of bed, Booth made his way to Ford's theater to pick up his mail. The owners let him have mail sent there, you know, whenever he was in town. While he's picking up his mail at Ford's theater, someone there mentions that President Lincoln will become into that evening's performance. And then another onlooker would recall that Booth then left the theater in a hurry. He immediately decided he needed to kill Lincoln that night and he raised off to put a plan

in motion. Once Booth knew Lincoln will be at the theater that night, he had roughly eight hours to finish up his plan and get it going. So first he masturbated. He was like, you know, be gone, Luke Stafine. I don't have time for this right now. I don't have time for your thoughts. I've worked to do. But then he masturbated one more time to make sure he wasated. He was like, you know, be gone, Lucifer. I don't have time for this right now. I don't have time for your thoughts. I've worked to do. But then he masturbated one more time to make sure he was focused, but he overdid it. And that made him sleepy. More

sleepy than he intended. And he took what supposed to be a short nap. He woke up three hours later. And that almost ruined the whole plan. And it may have contributed to him later breaking his leg, which probably led to him getting caught. He later wrote in his diary, if only I would have forsaken my second afternoon pleasure in my swollen member. My sweet release rolled into golden slumber and when I woke, I felt not rested but hurried and hastened to my movements. Surely I would have left with more grace, agility and balance. If I had but retained the extra vigor of my wasted seed, that also of course never happened, but so great if that was part of the real story. Wouldn't it be great?

Would that be great if high school history teachers had to try to navigate that tale, you know, in their classroom of just sexual landmines from all those hormonal teenagers? Ah, man. No, after the theater booth goes right to the stable where it's horses being kept, make sure it's ready to be written.

Legally, he stops, he marries Sarat, possibly to have her round up the other conspirators. Historians disagree about how much she knew about the actual assassination. Some think she may have only thought they were going to kidnap it. But anyway, Boothah, he checks his daring, her pistol, makes sure it's ready to fire, puts together a travel kit full of belongings. He'd need on the road once he escaped. He'd plotted out escape routes before this day day back when he was doing the kidnapping plans. A booth then returns to fourth theater

early the afternoon and that afternoon, and walks up to the president's box where the president would be sitting and watching the, watching the play, and he carves a mortis in which he could later place a stick of wood to borrow the door from anyone entering. So behind the actual little door to the booth, he creates this little, puts a stick there, hides a stick, creates this little mortise so he can block

people from coming in once he's inside. And then he meets his accomplices at a nearby restaurant, informs them of a plan that not only includes the murder of the president, but also, I didn't know this, the murder of the vice president Andrew Johnson and the secretary state as well. I assumed he wanted them also dead to throw the governmental leadership into chaos, you know, because you know, the vice president takes over for the president dies. I assumed he wanted them also dead to throw the governmental leadership into chaos, you know, because the vice president takes over for the president dies. I assume that maybe the secretary of state would take over if the vice president dies, but that's not true. What's interesting about the secretary of state choice is that it didn't fit with the line

of presidential succession in 1865, which is actually slightly different than it is now. If the president dies, vice president takes office, but if the vice president is to die, then the president, uh, it's, it's pro, uh, temporary, pro tempore, temporary of the senate takes over. And if he dies, Latin, it would be the speaker of the house of representatives. 1866, secretary of state would be added to the list as the fourth one down and the speaker of the house and president, poe tempore, have been flip flopped. And what is the fourth one down and the speaker of the house and president poe tempore have been flip flopped and what is the president pro tempore of the senate and again sorry if i'm not hitting that word right uh... i wrote it phonetically i listed it many times in my brain was like that now we're not going to care about that word uh... the vice president is technically the president of

the senate but isn't actually of course an elected senator can't always oversee the senate so the senate picks a senator to act as president of the senate when the vice president is not around and that's the president pro pro tempore of the senate pro tempore literally means for the time being currently this positions is held by or in hatch republican senator from Utah random trivia hatch has been a senator since 1977 holy shit longest serving Republican Senator in US history. Dude has been in the Senate since Jimmy Carter was president.

I gotta say, he looks good. He looks like he takes care of himself better than I do. Probably eats less Doritos, probably drinks less Red Bull, impressive. So why did Booth want the Secretary of State killed? Well, first off, let's remember he's not acting rationally. He just wants to hurt the North now the wars essentially over the motive for his original kidnap and you know to kind of negotiate things for the Confederate government doesn't make sense anymore right after not after the surrender of general Lee he has to understand that on

some level he's not a fool he's angry and he wants to inflict pain on the union and the fans union that in his mind of cause well not in his mind they have caused so much pain to certain people in the South. Secretary of State, William Seward was also a strong figure for the North during and before the Civil War, who was staunchly anti-slavery, he's a big abolitionist. So Seward was determined to ponder the slavery and the spread of slavery for years before the war. He actually was initially the favorite candidate for the Republican nomination for president in the 1860 election that Lincoln won, but he became so vocally anti-slavery that the party didn't think he was electable. Leading up to the Civil War,

he was also very vocally anti-succession. So basically, he just represented everything that Booth hated. And Booth sees these men as true tyrants, as oppressors of the South, and again, to be fair, you know, to both Union was pretty brutal and their treatment of the South, like in some respects, especially with their belief in total war. If you know that term, Union Army General William to come to Sherman's infamous march to the sea from Atlanta to Savannah, Georgia, for example, in November and December 1864 was part of this total war plan where you destroy the resources required

uh... for the south to make war so when you go through to a town you don't just you know get rid of all the enemy troops you also destroy like all of the food you burn down anything that could be used to like manufacture weapons of war even if it's like civilian property uh... you you ruin roads you blow up bridges to try and destroy the Confederacy's economy and its transportation networks, you burn plantations to the ground,

you know, countless civilian homes were destroyed. There was a lot of collateral damage. Family business is gone, families destroyed themselves. So if you're a southerner of some with southerner and sympathies, again, easy to see how you'd feel a little bit of like, man, fuck these guys at the war's end. So at this restaurant, Booth tells Lewis Powell that 21 year old well built former Confederate

cavalry member, he met through John Sirot that he is to murder. The Secretary of State will him soared that night. And Booth tells George Azarot that he is to murder the vice president and do Johnson. They would have liked to have gotten more guys, but these weren't in the city. You know, like General Grant, they would have liked to have gotten him, but he wasn't around. But these are the, these are the guys who are around that they, uh, they know they're whereabouts and they feel like they have a good chance to kill. Uh, let's just really just cause their government to fall into anarchy.

I guess maybe part of his hope around 8 p.m. that evening, April 14th, uh, the Lincoln's set out for four theater. They pick up a friend of Mary's Clara Harris and her fiance, uh, Corporal Henry Rathbone, more on Rathbone later in this suck. What a very strange twisted post assassination story he's gonna have. Other more noted guests had turned them down that evening, such as House Speaker, Schuiler Colfax, uh, who had a department for California a few days later, and General Grant, uh, whose wife wanted to visit family in New Jersey.

Uh, Secretary of War Edwin Sten also supposed to be there, but declined because he felt like public appearances at places like the theater were dangerous, unnecessarily dangerous. He had been urging Lincoln to stop doing that, stop going to the theater, stop taking just, you know, carriage rides by yourself, stop making other unguarded public appearances. He's been trying to get him to stop for months, if only Lincoln had listened. 8.30 pm, Lincoln and his wife and guests arrive at the theater, you know, 30 minutes after the play has begun. The play was a popular comedy, our American cousin, the plot based on the introduction of an awkward, bullish, but honest American, to his aristocratic English relatives who

were horrified by his lack of manners. You know, when he goes to England to claim the family of the state, it doesn't sound terrible actually. They arrived with no guards, no entourage, no fanfare. The president on the winning side of the fucking civil war shows up like he's a banker, just finished up work for the week. I just, how times have changed?

Again, that's comparable to like a view into the movies and you're standing line for popcorn and then suddenly notice that Donald Trump and Melania just stand behind you with no secret service in sight. It's just, it's cartoon sight. It's just cartoonish. It's so ridiculous that this went on. Around 9 p.m. Like how do they not think this could backfire horribly?

Around 9 p.m. John Wilkes Booth rides up to the back of the theater on his horse. Leaves his horse with a stage hand, enters the theater through the back door, walks under the stage, out into a side alley, heads into the nearby star saloon, a popular little saloon for people who, you know, at the theater to have drinks. William Wither's the orchestra leader also snuck out for a drink while Booth was there during a break. And saw Booth standing at the bar in his shirt sleeves is coat to an over one arm.

Booth was the first person he met. Wither's recalled someone made a joke at Booth's expense. And then he recalled seeing a inscrutable smile flit across his face. And that Booth then said, when I leave the stage for good, I will be the most famous man in America. All right, roughly 10, 15, actually that quick note,

there are some historians who think that part of the motivation Booth had was he wanted to be more famous than his brother. A lot of other historians don't believe that, but I guess it's just worth pointing out, because it's a theory. The part of his motivation was like, he was sick of it when getting more attention than him.

He's like, oh, fuck, and I'll show him. I'll kill the president. That'll be the most famous. I don't know about that, but possible. Roughly 10, 15 PM, both heads back into theater, this time entering to the front, walking past the ticket office, unbeknownst to anyone working there. He's got a large hunting knife, single shot, Daringer pistol,

hidden under his dark suit. Walks near the entrance of the box of seats where the president is watching, listens to the play. He's trying to time his assassination attempt to one of the plays more popular jokes. When Booth goes to enter the enter room outside the presidential box, the Lincoln sits, he finds Charles Forbes, the president's 30 year old footman, valet, messenger, occasional babysitter, detach, sermon, et cetera, sitting there. Booth hands Forbes a business card, explaining who he is,

and that gets him into the box with the president. Charles says, no reason to prevent one of America's most famous actors from stopping by to visit the president. Booth then heads inside the vestibule, leading to the box, expecting to encounter security, a man named John Parker at Resident Bodyguard. He's nowhere to be found.

Story and his disagree over why he wasn't there. Most of it found sound like he's probably just out grabbing a drink. Again, security very lax. Booth closes the door to the vestibule behind him and uses that stick and mortise combo. He created earlier to lock the door so no one can come in after him. He's doing it. He's really gone through it this time. He was one door away from President Lincoln. He walks up to the door, looks through a people and listens to the door. So no one can come in after him. He's doing it. He's really gone through it this time. He was one door away from President Lincoln.

He walks up to the door, looks through a people and listens to the play. He listens to actor Harry Hawk on stage waiting for him to deliver the biggest laugh line of the production, which is where I guess you know, wait, wait, it's a, where I guess I know enough to turn you inside out, old gal. Yes, sock, dola, jazzy, an old man trap. Seriously, that was that was the line. That was the line that brought the house down. Um, sure in the context of the play, who's absolutely hilarious.

Yes, sock, dola, jazzy, an old man trap. And he said, he said a sock, dola, jazzy. Uproaries laughter fills the theater. People love that old sock, dola, jazzy joke. Booth opens the door, points the pistol at the back of Lincoln's head, fires at point blank range, a bullet entry, Lincoln's skull, corporal, wrathbone swings towards the sound of the gunfire, and then Booth, no stranger to fighting from all of his hours of stage jewels, swings his hunt knife down upon him, slashes him from shoulder to elbow. Booth then immediately turns away from

wrathbone. In the confusion confusion swings his leg over the balcony balustrade. And then one of his spurs, it's tangled up in some American flags. People have put there that afternoon after he'd scoped it out to decorate the balcony. And he falls awkwardly to the stage, breaks his left ankle. Then operate on pure adrenaline. He pops back up, yells to the crowd. Audience members would later disagree over what he, you know, he, they heard him shout.

Many heard six Sempa Teranis, which is Latin for us always to tyrants. Others heard the South is avenged. Maybe he yelled both would have been funny. If he'd also yelled, who put the goddamn flags up there? Or a man, I really fucked up. Uh, is it too late to say, uh, sorry, and just forget this happened. Ha ha, yo, just JK. Uh, booth then quickly staggers on his broken ankle towards the wings of theater, knowing

the general audience knows what the hell is going on. Pandemonium, people are trying to figure out, you know, this is part of the play for a few moments, then someone yells, the president has been shot. Someone stopped that man, but it's too late. booths has already bolted past the stage scenery out the back of the theater, hopped on his horse, he's galloping away in the darkness. Meanwhile also at 1015 PM, Coke and Spirit or Lewis Powell is knocking on the door of Secretary of State stewards mansion.

When a servant opens the door, he tells him he's there to give William stewards some medicine. Stewart does in fact need medicine. He's in bed recovering from a broken jaw suffered during a carajaxe. And recently on the stairs to Williams room, Powell is encountered by Frederick, soored Williams 34 year old son. Frederick consists of Powell giving the medicine. Powell obviously doesn't have the medicine and he pulls out a pistol tries to shoot Frederick, but it misfires. Then he pistol whips Frederick. Instead runs past him into Williams room where he finds Williams daughter, Fannyanny sitting by her father's bed.

Don't meet a lot of fannies anymore. When's that name coming back? When is someone going to name their twin girls, Fanny and Gertrude? How much will those girls hate their parents? How much lower are the odds? They'll become pregnant as teens with those, you know, unattractive names. I apologies to fanny's and Gertrude's listening. Anyway, Powell, Tossas, Fanny aside, jumps on the bed,

stabs and manages to slash the Secretary of State in the face and neck five times. Before a soldier assigned to guard the Secretary, jumps on the bed, forces Powell off of it. One of his slashes cuts towards face with enough force to actually remove part of his cheek. However, because of how our sewer's jaw has been wired from the carriage accident, the knife is deflected

and barely misses sewer's jugular vein. And although he loses a lot of blood, he lives. Pal then flees back down the stairs, stabbing a messenger on his way out. When he gets outside, David Harald is supposed to be there holding his horse, but he's gone. Harald had panicked and fled when he'd heard screaming inside the house, leaving Pal to have taken off on foot. Okay. Also at 1015, George Azeroth

supposed to be killing Vice President Andrew Johnson. Johnston is staying in the five-story Kirkwood House hotel, located a short walk from both from both Ford's theater and sewage residents. We're hit intermittently stayed, since just before his Vice President, Vice Presidential inauguration in March. Azeroth had rented a room in the same hotel

and had rented it under his own name, like a jackass. Uh, hi, I'd like to rent a room near Andrew Johnson's room, please. And what's the reason for you'll stay? Murder. I'm gonna try murder him. Name is George Azeroth. ATZ, ROD is in dumbass. T is in trying to murder Vice President, President Johnson two night by 1015. George is hammered.

He's been drinking in the bar with Kirkwood all evening, hoping to build up enough liquid courage to do the deed. But you know, he fell either a few drinks short or a few drinks too many. Few drinks when a few drinks past, depending on how you want to look at it. Johnson sleeps above them alone and unguarded, but instead of taking his knife and gun upstairs, Azarot checks out of the hotel, wanders drunk around town for hours,

bounces around some other bars, checks into another hotel at 2 a.m., next morning he ponds his gun, sets out for a cousin's house in Maryland. unaware of the investigators had already found a second gun and knife. He left in his room with the Kirkwood house, as well as a bank book belonging to John Wilkes Booth.

They would tie him to this whole conspiracy. Whoops. Meanwhile, back at Fort Theater after Booth escapes, a young surgeon is the first theater guest after Booth to enter the presidential box. He cuts open Lincoln's clothes looking for a wound. Not sure at this point if he's been shot or stabbed in the pandemonium. He initially can't find a wound or any blood. They do feel like this is not the place to try and treat Lincoln, the surgeon, and others

carry Lincoln's body. It's still living body out of the the air across the street to the Peterson boarding house, into a back bedroom, lay him on a bed. The doctor then finds a small bullet hole behind Lincoln's left ear, but no exit wound. Unable to extract the bullet, he declares the wound mortal. Here is the autopsy description of this wound. The ball had entered through the occipital bone about an inch to the left of the median line and just above the lateral

sinus, which it opened. It then penetrated the derimator, passed to the posterior lobe of the cerebrum, entering the left lateral ventricle and lodged in the white matter of the cerebrum just above the interior portion of the corpusicter where I was found. So maybe unlike me, you know, it more of those, you know, more than like five of those words mean. I thought I'd throw that in there for you people who understand medical terms. Lincoln's various cadmium members are informed of his condition. They rush to the Peterson House, takes hours for Lincoln to die. He actually wouldn't die to early the next morning. He continues to breathe and witnesses to say he actually looked peaceful as he lay in bed.

His wife, Mary Todd, not peaceful, absolutely hysterical, pleading with him to wake up. He, of course, does not. Cabinet member and secretary of war Edwin Stan takes charge of finding Lincoln's killer. Uh, I'm sure Stan had some version of I fucking told you so. I told you so. This is exactly why he wanted to go to the theater alone, just on a repeat in his head. He orders the rest to be made witnesses to be questioned bridges to be closed et cetera no one else knew what to do initially it was an unprecedented situation something like this i just never happened in american politics before

at eleven thirty p.m. John Wilkes booth meeting up with david herald in the Maryland countryside uh... who while he didn't sick around with you know for power with the horses at least you mess up this part of his role. They pick up rivals and bottle whiskey from a country in owned by fellow conspirator, Mary Sarat, head towards Virginia and towards possible escape. Boost adrenaline is now starting to fade, starting to give way to pain from his broken ankle. He knows he needs medical attention and they raised to the home of country doctor.

They had met prior when they were planning the whole kidnapping escape route, Samuel mud. Mud lived about 17 miles from Serrat's inn. Now, due to a lack of moonlight and a light rain that evening that plunged the countryside into total darkness and thick swampy forest conditions, booths and herald didn't actually make it to mud's house until about 4 a.m. Dr. mud lets them in, examines booths,

sets his broken leg, his broken ankle puts him to rest in an upstairs bedroom. And there's a common misconception that because he treated boost leg, Mud's life would be ruined. And then he would never be allowed to be a doctor again. And that he is the origin of the phrase, your name is Mud, as in your reputation is ruined. And actually that's a bunch of bullshit.

The phrase, if you look into etymological records, first showed up in written record in 1823 and Britain. So different country over four decades before this Dr. Mudd treated Booth. And also Dr. Mudd later in life after being caught in connection to Booth, after getting out of jail or prison, would resume a medical practice

and actually become a successful landowner again. As booths slept, word of what he and his accomplices have done spread throughout Washington DC on April 15th. The rumors spiraled out of control. People hearing that booths and others had killed multiple politicians. They heard the Confederate army was coming into the city and the war was still on. People were afraid to go to sleep that night. Faring Confederate forces would come and ransack and burn the city to the ground. Inside the Peterson house, Lincoln is fading in the early morning. His breathing is becoming

a radical labor and then at 7.22 a.m. April 15th, the surgeon general pronounces the president dead. Secretary of war, Stan says, now he belongs to the ages. Telegraphs reach every major news outlet in the nation early that morning by that evening. The assassination is obviously the headline in every paper in the country and no one grieves more than the nation's newly freed African Americans. Many of them fear that the emancipation proclamation would now be revoked and that slavery could possibly be reinstituted. By noon, Vice President Andrew Johnson has been sworn in as president, Union soldiers. In the last few fields of battle are not told of the assassination for several days for

fear of retribution against southerners. Shock and mourning quickly turn into rage against the south. Anyone in the north known to have southern sympathies are advised to stay indoors with their shutters locked vigilante surrounded jail in Washington DC, demand that Confederate prisoners be released to the angry mob other angry mob show up in cities around the nation. Roughly 200 people are murdered in the streets of various American towns and cities in the few days following Lincoln's assassination in moments of rage. John's brother, Edwin Booth, hires arm guards and stations in that side is New York home

to protect him and his family. Edwin also wrote their sister Asia. Think no more of him as your brother. He is dead to us now. And as he soon must be to all the world. Federal agents raid Asia's home, find a manifesto written by John that he'd ask her to keep safe, contain stuff like, right or wrong, God judges me not man. For four years, I've waited, hoped and prayed for the dark clouds to break to wait longer would be a crime. God's will be done. I go to see and share the bitter end. I mean, the dude thinks himself as an instrument of God right now working on behalf of the people, which is never a good place to go to mentally. Well, not not for these dark kind of, you

know, goals, I guess. Okay. Meanwhile, back at Dr. Mudd's house, and after the 15th, Dr. Mudd orders Booth and Harold to get out of his house, realizing the danger they put him in and put his family in. He's likely aware of the, of the prior kidnapping plot, but possibly totally unaware of the murder plot. Booth and Harold head into an air by swamp, wander around the dark for several hours, finally making it to the cabin of a known Confederate sympathizer, Thomas Jones, agent of the Confederate underground, and Jones directs him to a thicket of pine trees on his property where they can hide and where they can crash for the night. On the morning of the 16th, the day after Lincoln's death, Easter Sunday, Booth and Harold are

awakened by Thomas Jones whistling. He wakes him, tells them that they have to stay in the pine thicket. He says union troops are crawling all over the countryside and that he won't be able to get past them or they won't be able to and they have to wait it out. Wait for things to die down a little bit. He tells them that when there's a safe moment, he'll come back and he'll guide them to a better location. To keep their horses from giving away the position, Harold takes them into the swamp just

outside the pine thicket and when there are no soldiers nearby shoot some and let's their bodies fall into the murky swamp water where they won't be found. Booth asked Jones to bring him newspapers to see how the country is reacting to what he's done and when he reads them he's fucking stunned. He honestly cannot believe the nation's mad at him. This is how delusional he's gotten. He thought he would be seen as the man who liberated the nation from the authoritarian corrupt grass of a tyrant.

Instead he's portrayed as a disgusting coward who has killed a national treasure. Shot him in the back, shot him in front of his wife like an animal. This is now what he's hoping for. Again, amazing how delusional people can become, how we can just weave our own realities and how we can stray so much farther from the general consensus of what reality is the most people uh... every paper in cities both north and south amason dicks and i and vilify booth he feels betrayed by his country man even the southern papers are like to

fucking what the hell he thought he'd be seen as the american brudas now he's not seen as a patriot scene is a treasonous dog boos was carried a little pocket notebook and uh... like a little diary and began to write down its reaction to public's perception perception of him and his justifications for what he'd done. Writing, I struck boldly, and not as the paper say, I walked with a firm step, through a thousand of his friends, I was stopped, but pushed on, I passed all his pickets, rode

sixty miles that night with the bones of my leg tearing my flesh with every jump. I could never repent it. Our country owed all her troubles to him. And God simply made me the instrument of his punishment. Amen. He's all in mentally. Meanwhile, on Easter Sunday, elsewhere, churches across America swelled to the rafters to mourn Lincoln. Lincoln is compared to Christ from Maine to California by pastors and priests and preachers telling their congregations that just like Christ had died to save man's souls, Lincoln had died to save the union. Lincoln had been shot on Good Friday. He'd taken on man's burdens and been essentially crucified for it. And so the deification of Lincoln begins. And again, you know,

he was not universally liked during his life at all, but now in death he becomes larger than ever, you know, he'd never been in life. Millions who had hated him days earlier, you know, many of them now had softened. Those who hadn't softened their position had to keep quiet because you could literally get killed if you spoke poorly of them now. I'm sure a lot of southerners did praise booth and private, but it's not gonna reach him.

You know, one southerner woman in a diary written shortly after Lincoln's death said, this blow to our enemies comes like a gleam of light. We have suffered till we feel savage. Our hated enemy has met the just reward of his life. Well, days go by and booths are still not arrested. People are being arrested in cities across America for looking like booth. Rumors are spreading about all kinds of things. In this city, he's in that city, he's hiding here, he's hiding there. He's disguised as a woman, all kinds of stuff. Then on April 17, soldiers act in a tip, raid Mary Sarat's boarding house from Washington, DC. They question Mary. And then Lewis Powell,

Secretary of State, stewards would be assassin, shows up at the wrong time. Powell had been hiding around the state for days. Right? Powell, remember when, when the dude didn't have his horse, when the other conspirator wasn't ready there were the horses, he didn't know where to fucking escape. He doesn't actually know the city that well. And he's been wandering for days. Doesn't know where else to go, he doesn't actually know the city that well, and he's been wandering for days, doesn't know where else to go, and he picks the worst time ever to show up in Mary's house. Investigators who have been told of his description,

they recognize him, and he's arrested immediately. Tipped off by a letter discovered in Booth's hotel room, investigators also arrest his two childhood friends and conspirators, Michael Loughlin and Samuel Arnold. On April 20th, they also arrest George Azera at his cousins farm after he's overheard boasting of his partition and the conspiracy like the drunk it. He was. However, both booth and herald are still free and no one knows where they are. And then the war department

puts out the largest reward that had been ever offered for anyone's capture $100,000. That's roughly $1 point five million in today's dollars. A lot of money. And then the largest manhunt in American history of course follows. Yeah, yeah. That's enough money to convince a lot of southerners to want to turn them in. Thousands of soldiers who know who knows how many additional citizens now coming the Maryland countryside to find both Booth and Harold. Well the night of April 21st, a full week after the shooting of fourth theater, Thomas Jones, that Confederate underground sympathy, you know, member, feels like the coast is clear

enough to attempt to smuggle booths and herald across the Potomac and out of Maryland. They make it several miles from the Pine Thicket to Jones Farm and are headed to nearby river. They reach a bluff overlooking a crossing point in the river. Jones puts two of them in a boat, gives them a compass, tells them what compass points to follow to make it to a safe landing spot on the other side, pushes them a compass, tell them what compass points to follow to make it to a safe landing spot on the other side, pushes them out into the water. And booths had to do, or all he had to do was make it across the Potomac that night,

and then he'd be in Virginia, and then he might make it to the deep south where he could possibly hide out among sympathizers. But he and Harold, they row the wrong way. They fuck up, they're rowing west across the river. They row northwest and eventually this end up back on the Maryland side of the river in the morning, the 22nd, like early morning. Booth would write again in his diary with every man's hand against me. I'm here in despair. And why for doing what Brutus was honored for and yet I was striking down a great attire than they ever knew and looked upon as a common cutthroat.

Also on April 21, train leaves Washington, DC with the remains of Abraham Lincoln. It'll travel all over the country eventually arriving in Springfield, Illinois. So citizens can mourn and pay their respects and millions do just that. Standing in line for miles, standing lined up along the tracks in between stops. You know, just to just to watch his casket roll by and pay their respects, when Don breaks on the on the 22nd, Harold realizes he and Booth are back in Maryland. Luckily, he knows the train and they're able to make it to the farm of another another Confederate sympathizer who leads them to his son-in-law, Confederate Colonel John J. Hughes,

who provides the fugitives with food and hide out until nightfall, and then is going to help them try to get across the river a second time into Virginia. During the middle of the night, in the early morning of the 23rd, Booth and Harold row, row, row their boat to the Virginia shore, they make contact with Thomas Harbin, who Booth had previously met while planning his earlier kidnapping plot. Harbin took Booth and Harold to another Confederate agent in the area named William Bryant, who supplied him with horses, and then they were then led to a farm belonging to Richard Garrett, who living out in the country in the days before phones and the internet still didn't know the link had been killed.

He's partly in the dark because the Confederate male system had collapsed with the fall of the South, and male had not been restored and integrated with the new Union system. Booth and Harold introduced a Garrett under fake names, told their, their, uh, uh, this farmer has told them, has told them that they're Confederate soldiers returning home from the battle of Petersburg, where Booth claimed to have been wounded. Finally on the 9th of April 25th, the detachment of 26 union soldiers led by intelligence officer Lieutenant Colonel Everton Conger, find out where Booth is hiding. Almost two full weeks after shooting Lincoln, they interrogate a man named William jet, a former Confederate cavalry, cavalry private

who would help take booth and herald to Garrett's farm. Early in the morning, the 26, around 2 a.m., the Union soldiers, Conger, his men, they arrive at the Garrett farm, booths and herald are sleeping in an old tobacco barn on the property. Booth and herald hear their approach, quickly realize they're surrounded by union cavalry. David Harold tells Booth, he wants out and surrenders. Booth meanwhile has no plans to surrender. He actually tells Konger to take his men back away from the barn so he can come out for a fair fight.

Ask him for a shootout. I love it. Making demands when you're surrounded and you have no hostages. When is that ever worked out? I love it even tried to do that. You want me to come out, Kanga? Ha! I bet you do. So you know all those guys surrounding this bond can shoot me? No, sir. I'm not going to let that happen. I will offer you this instead and this is my final offer.

You have all your men go away and then you and I, two of us can shoot it out. How does that sound? How does how does needlessly risk in your life when you clearly have the upper hand sound? I will not make this offer again. Again, it's your last chance to do something really, really stupid that it's unnecessary on any level for you to easily accomplish your mission. You know, Konger, you know, obviously declines. 3 a.m. with booths still refusing to come out.

Konger orders the barn to be set on fire. Lid up from the flames booth, with them, I've seen standing in the center of the barn rifle in one hand revolver in another. He suddenly throws down his rifle. Let's just crush us fall. Remember, he's still is at busted leg raises his revolver up makes a makes a run a hobbling run for the door before you can get outside even though no order to fire has been given a union officer named Boston Corbett fires his rifle hits booths in the neck.

Sever's his spinal cord. Conger, thinking Booth's dead at first, realizes he's paralyzed, but still alive when he rushes over, he can see Booth moving his mouth. Can't quite hear what he's saying. He's just barely able to get his sound out. He leans down and he's able to hear Booth say, tell mother, I died from my country. He had Booth's body dragged out from the burning barn. A few moments later, Booth asked to have his hands lifted so he can see him and uttered

his famous last words. Useless. Useless. His hands had accomplished nothing. The North had won and now he was dead. All of his conspirators, however, are still alive. And they all face a military trial for their roles in Lincoln's death, the attack on Secretary of State, Seward, and the plot to kill Johnson.

And all of this takes us out of today's time suck timeline. Good job, soldier. You've made it back. Barely. All right, let's talk about those poor and lucky, co-conspirators. Well, I, fuck, I, what do I say unlucky? They chose to do this shit. Davey Harold, George Azarot, Louis Pound,

all sends to death for their roles and boost plots. Azarot has to be especially pissed, but I didn't, I decided not to. The last second, I got drunk and didn't. Well, he's still gonna die, fucker. Boost land lady, Mary Sarot, may have only had knowledge of the Kidnavian plan. She's also sent to death. Childhood friends, Michael O still going to die, fucker. Booze land lady, Mary Serrat, may have only had knowledge of the kidnapping plan. She's also sentenced to death.

Childhood friends, Michael O'opflin, Sam Arnold and the infamous Dr. Met, Mudd are not sentenced to death. They are sentenced to life in prison under hard labor. And again, the reasoning being that they could have thought it was a kidnapping, not a murder plot. July 7, 1865, in the grounds of the Arsenal prison, Washington DC, Harold Azarot, Powell, Mary Sarat,

led up 13 steps to the gallows, hoods placed over their heads, roves placed around their necks, and then an executioner collapsed three times, you know, the signal for the Florida giveaway, beneath their feet, and then they hang to death. The other conspirator, Mary's son, John Sarat, of Voidscapture, flees to Canada, and then to Europe.

Eventually, he's captured two years later in Egypt, 1867, and then put on trial in Maryland for his involvement in Lincoln's assassination. And he was, excuse me, he was lucky enough to be tried by a civilian court, not a military court. He claimed to do nothing about the murder plot, only the kidnapping plot. And after two months of testimony,

he's released on a mistrial. when eight jurors voted that he was Not guilty and for a said guilty. I think you know he benefited from this to be in trial because there is a lot of southern sympathizers still So as you be tough to convict him by by jury He lives as a free man until the age of 72 dying in 1916 Dr. Samuel mud in prison 70 miles west of Key West, Florida, and didn't even serve close to life in prison. He was pardoned a few years later in 1869 by President Johnson and released. He would die many years later, 1883.

I guess that's that many years, but enough years to have some more life. The age of 49 had to return into medical practice, becoming again a successful landowner. Again, so kind of like life resumes as it was before the war for him once he gets out. Samuel Arnold also part in 1869 would die in 1906 at the age of 72. Michael O'Loughlin, he didn't make it to the pardon. He died in the prison with with mud and Arnold in 1867 of a scarlet there was a scarlet fever outbreak. So what would have happened if Lincoln hadn't been shot? I think that's the big mystery with his assassination. How different would life have been in the years following the end of the Civil War?

We're going to look into that. You know, we're going to look into what some intelligent people think about that. But first, let's look at what some unintelligent people have to say with today's idiots of the internet. It is the internet. Yes. I watched a documentary in addition to reading articles and having research help this go around. It's going to get my head around this tail.

And in the comments section under the document I watched, Abraham Lincoln, assassination documentary, slash biography, uploaded by Crash Course America. I really did like it. Uh, I found a troll exchange that just really made me laugh. I just, I do love how riled people can get on the web. Uh, user, user carbon fiber addict posts. I'm glad they shot all Abe and then relishes the hate that comes next. Ron McNeil Jr.

First asked, how could you say such thing? Carbon fiber asks, how do you get so butt hurt? User Vinnie Mis says that really is some fucked up thing to say. He was a great heroic person. Carbon fiber added comes back with cry baby. Like he's just, he's just, you know, poking him with a stick. Another user accuses carbon fiber of getting mad.

Carbon fiber then says, I'm not mad. I find it fascinating making people like you reply to me. And then Thomas Payne asks, lonely much? To which carbon fiber replies, no, I'm happy. Why do you get so buttered? It's like you're infected with stupid. Tomas Payne can't leave it alone. He just says, saying, lol, you being lonely doesn't make me butter,

just kind of sad. And then carbon fiber says, Thomas Pay pain, what are you talking about? I'm literally at the lake with my son, talking to the man next to us, LOL. It actually seems you're getting frustrated because you can't get a rise out of me. And then the little like goofy tongue out face or emoticon kind of thing.

Not getting much action as a lake. That's why I checked my notification smiley face. Tom is paining and says, that's the loneliness thing I've ever heard to which carbon fiber says, fishing. Thomas Payne says, no, no, no, fishing with your sun sounds like a cool time. It's just weird to tell me about it. I love how this is just evolving.

It's like a weird casual conversation. It starts off like being angry about a Lincoln comment. And now it's just like, no, no, no, no, fishing is cool. I like to spend time with your sun. I just wonder why you'd have to say the mean thing about a Lincoln comment. And now it's just like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no but hurt, not only in that you're really happy, this happy, confident person who lives a great life. Most people who are actually like this don't have the immaturity or the time to troll on YouTube comments. Nor would they gloat about it over and over again on the internet, admit it, you have a shitty life. Like I love how they're just...

Like they fall and right into his plan, he just keeps fucking riling them. And then they, I don't know what they expect. Like, it's like they expect him eventually, but like, okay, you guys, I'm not fishing. I'm not, I'm not fished at the lake. I, I, I don't, I don't have a son. I'm 40, I'm 43, and I live with my parents. And I haven't had a girlfriend since 2002. And look, this is all I got.

Riding up people under Abraham Lincoln videos is all I have, but I'm sorry, you guys, I'm sorry. No, carbon fiber just says, that's why I'm such a grand troll. I admit I'm a troll. And still idiots flock to this comment to try and make a point when they can't to do with any information about me aside

that I'm a troll with such a little effort. And then also adds, I'm on break at work right now, LOL. He just constantly is trying to like, you know, just fuck with the, yeah, not face it, I'm on break at work. Oh, okay, so I just thought that was fun. And then I found a real true idiot of the internet

who shows up, this shit will never cease to amaze me, just what people believe. This is a user time for illumination. When you have a handle like time for illumination, you know, when you see that, some strong, wacky, doodle shit is coming forth. He posts, good for black Americans that he was shot. If you read history, you know that he planned

and was taking actions to deport freed slaves to South America and Africa going to their homeland with fruits of religion and civilization and that's nonsense. That is pure nonsensical web lore based on half truths and full on lies. Yes, there was talks of like, you know, possible relocation programs by a variety of people, including linking on some level, but no like forced relocation program. That was just, you know, like, it would be nice to provide them with the option if they don't like, you know, for someone like Lincoln.

A variety of credible historians have stated there's no basis for what he just posted. And that's pretty dumb, right? Well, then I find somebody, oh my God, who takes it so much further, takes it so much further than time for the illumination. This, this made my, it it is the internet segment day. I found dead skin producer slash DJ and on the wackadoodle scale, if time for illumination possesses, you know, maybe like, like a little bit below in Alex Jones level of wackadoodle list, dead skin producer, de possibly moves the needle past David

Ike. Uh, because check out his post, he says he was not assassinated. He was an ancient occultist did his work for the deep state. The families made a pact with them to leave them new bank for them with war. He will, the grammar, the grammar is so bad. It's truly hard to even figure out what he's saying. How the time them new bank for them with the war he will lead. They will leave him alone to spend his last years in privacy secured undisturbed. He was an occultist that leaves

Alistair Crowley and shame compared to knowledge he had about occult ancient Babylonian knowledge. That is why he has a monument. The bank paid for it. Oh, that's how you got to link a monument. Okay. Of course, they don't pay anything, but figuratively said JFK. Now he was killed for taking power from CIA. IE the bank. The bank is always capitalized by the way. CIA, private detective of the bank and black royals, he family. It's obvious as kids insults on YouTube comments. So don't show yourself as 15-year-old ignorant kid, not having critical mind or anything to say that provides something more than what is said in video or propaganda. Be it news, video and every other kind of mind control, if you don't know, you are instructed. I like to think this is how he talks.

And indoctrinated what to think, you don't know anything's Lincoln was not killed. By the way, there's like, it's just a shitload of like commas. Everyone's still like a random period, but mostly just so many commas. Lincoln was not killed. It is not first or last fake death in human history. It's no conspiracy. Who doesn't know about the bank, that private bank, only thing debatable here is did he fake he's death or not? And I think he did since it like George Bush being killed. What? Why? Why? Why? He made war earned a shitload of money to bank and military, same as Lincoln.

Why would kill him? Is there reasonable explanation when he says this war is eating my life? He means I will die after war. Read between lines. As the man you know, I will die for you. Not for me. It's obvious to me completely, utterly obvious. Who, what?

What do you think? What do you think dead skin producer does for work by the way? Like do you think he's like a professor or surgeon? Or do you think he's unemployed? God, what if he actually is a surgeon? How scary is that? He makes me single-handedly want to go back to school, not joking.

Sometimes doing this, it is the internet segment. It just honestly makes me wish I had time just to get some online courses and just go back to school. Like one day when I do have time, I really do want to go back to school. Shit like this, you just such a reminder of how important education is, right? It's part of why we do this, isn't it? Hail Nimrod. Protect us from this madness.

Lose a fina. I know you distract us from time to time, cause a mischief, but please let us, you know, not become as diluted as this ignorant poster. My god, the scariest part of post like this to me is the arrogance. Not only do they think they're right, they think they're obviously right. I was like this to me is the arrogance. Not only do they think they're right, they think they're obviously right. And if you don't see that, you are idiot. I was talking with one of the servers of the Daytona Ohio Funny Bone this past Saturday night.

And he went to school with this guy, well actually, no, I'm sorry, he worked this guy after school. He, the server had a history degree. And this, and this guy he was working with found out about it. And then like made fun of him for buying into the system. And this guy was like a flat-earther,

a believer like the lizard illuminati, all that crazy shit, and it would make fun of people who went on to higher education. Cause like they get so diluted in their crazy ass fucking conspiracy not heads that they think getting an education is just, you know, A.K.A. being indoctrinated

into the dark system. What a terrible rationales is rationalization just to be uneducated. You know, I don't get it, man. When I meet somebody who's clearly more educated than I am, like in some area of academia, which happens often, you know what I do? I fucking talk less now, listen more. Like I try to defer to their expertise and I trust that they're going to know stuff that I don't and I'll be able to learn something from them. But some people, like this fucking producer guy, have such fragile egos, they can't handle that.

They have to know everything. I can't fucking stand that personality type. If you're a know-it-all type, odds are you don't know very much. In my experience, it's usually the quiet, more humble people that know the most. So shut the fuck up and learn something. I'm talking to you, dead skin producer, as if there is a snowballs chance in hell

you listen to this podcast. Ah, okay, feel better now. I feel good. I feel like a good way to get out of this week's idiots of the internet. I feel like a good way to get out of this week's idiots. I feel like a good way to get out of this week's idiots. I feel like a good way to get out of this week's idiots.

I feel like a good way to get out of this week's idiots. I feel like a good way to get out of this week's idiots. I feel like a good way to get out of this week's idiots. I feel like a good way to get out of this week's idiots. I feel like a good way to get out of this week's idiots. I feel like a good way to get out of this week's idiots. I feel like a good way to get out of this week's idiots. I feel like a good way to get out of this week's idiots. I feel like a good way to get out of this week's idiots. I feel like a good way be rich, disease would no longer exist. Donuts would now give you six pack abs. No one would work more than four hours a week and orgasms would always be both powerful

and invigorating and come in at least, you know, groups of three. Hell no, not, hell lose the phenol, hell Lincoln. No, it's hard to say how things would have differed. Obviously it's pure speculation, but speculation informed by knowledgeable Lincoln historians. Let's start with voting rights for recently freed slaves. Would Lincoln have protected it?

For at least the dude, sorry ladies, fucking patriarchal history. There's no escaping it, no matter what you wouldn't have gotten to vote till a while later. Most likely he would have. He probably would have done more to try and quell the violence against recently freed men,

women that broke out after the war than his successor Johnson did. However, things didn't really turn back against recently freed African Americans until the 1870s. You know, when Lincoln would have been done with the second term anyway. So that's when Southerners really began to intimidate African Americans at the polls, organizing lynchings and acting in the very beginnings of the Jim Crow kind of laws that would come up later. So Lincoln would have not been able to stop any of that. And history would have, you know, possibly run it run his course the same way. But, uh, Lincoln may have been able to alter the cultural climate of the American West. On the day he died, he wrote to the speaker of the house, Shyler, uh, or Schuhler, Golfax, that he planned to point

union veterans to the gold and silver that waits for them in the West. Now of course this was happening anyway, you know, but that's like the Donner party suck. But tying this to voting rights, Lincoln approved the Homestead Act of 1862, which allowed for basically anyone, any man to claim land as long as they planted 10 to four, five years. The same day he signed the Emancipation Proclamation. It's likely he wanted to extend West Coast settlement opportunities formally to African Americans. Johnson would deny a petition that called for public lands in like Florida, Alabama, Mississippi, and Arkansas to be distributed to African Americans,

making it harder for them to attain land. There's a good chance Lincoln would have not made that difficult. He would have given them new legislation to really kind of help them settle and become landowners. And while I said earlier that Lincoln would obviously have been able to stop what happened in the 1870s, he could have changed the end of the 1860s enough to perhaps prevent or at least slow down some of what would happen in the 1870s in regards to racial oppression. You know, Lincoln proclaimed that he wanted malice towards none and charity for all, which he stuck to as he did not hunt down the leaders of Confederacy, right before he died, yet he favored having the Confederates leave for exile saying open the gates let down the gates

scare them off. As opposed to that president johnson welcomed the Confederates back into the government with open arms. Alexander Stevens former Confederate vice president was pardoned by johnson then elected by the Georgia legislature to the senate. Herschel johnson who had sat in the Confederate Congress was elected to other the other Georgia senate seat and the house representatives culling battle until recently Confederate general who had sat in the Confederate Congress was elected to other the other Georgia Senate seat and the House representatives culling battle until recently Confederate general showed up to represent Alabama,

William T. Wofford, a command to the Confederate brigade at Gettysburg, showed up in the Georgia government. Two of Virginia's eight representatives had been members of the state's secession convention in 1861. And predictably this restoration of white power was attended by an upsurge of mob violence against freed slaves. You know, you have doubtless heard a great deal of the reconstructed south of their acceptance of the results of the war, wrote a freedman's bureau agent in South Carolina. This may all be true, but if a man had the list of negroes murdered in a single county in this most loyal and Christian state, he would think it a strange way of demonstrating his kindly feelings towards them. Under Johnson, basically

everyone who was involved in Confederacy was quickly allowed back into the Union government, and you can bet they hadn't changed their minds on slavery or racism. Of course, this wouldn't have changed entirely under Lincoln, but he likely would have done something to prevent this from happening. African Americans badly needed to support in the government in the years following the Civil War and they didn't really get that with Andrew Johnson. They would have had that with Lincoln. But we'll never know how much Lincoln, you know, would have able to accomplish because

you know, some dumb pretty boy actor fucked that up before dying just outside of a burning tobacco barn with those worthless hands of his. Worthless. Worthless. Time for today's Top 5 takeaways. Time, Chuck. Top 5 takeaways. Number 1.

John Wilkes Booth was a famous actor from a famous acting family, the most famous American acting family in 19th century. You may read about his career being slowed down in the year before he killed Lincoln, but only because he became obsessed with Lincoln and lost interest in actually acting as much as he had before. Still widely known and admired. Number two, before putting together a plan to kill Lincoln, Booth put together plans to kidnap him, which included tying him up and lowering him from a balcony to the stage in the dark, which sounds like something that would happen in an old-timey cartoon where a moustache-yod villain ties a damsel to some train tracks.

Number three, despite breaking his ankle directly after shooting Lincoln, Booth got up and actually escaped. And he almost completely escaped. If he hadn't broken his leg, you would have been able to ride faster, you know, further could have disappeared into deep south, possibly into Mexico, beyond after that. Ryan Gosling or Ryan Reynolds or Jamie Foxx or somebody, you know, tries killing the presence today, they're not making it out of the room. Whatever room they find the gun in, that's where they're arrested. Man, crime. So much easier in the old days.

Number four, Dr. Samuel Mud, the man who had set Bruce Broken Lake did not have his life fallen to ruin as the internet will have us believe. He was sent to prison, but was pardoned for serving less than five years and then went right back to doctrine and to be no, a, a will to do land on a whiskey, loud and tall. If your name is mud, you know that has nothing to do now with Dr. Samuel mud. At phrase, number five, new info, crazy story. I found about what happened to Lincoln's theater guests the night he got shot that corporal Henry Rathbone. All right. Remember the guy that booze slash from shoulder to elbow directly after Lincoln, you know, was shot. He and his fiance were in the box, you know, with Lincoln and his wife, Mary Todd.

Well, his body fully recovered from booze tack, but his mind did not. He blamed himself for failing to stop booze. He did. He married Clara. The other guest are two years later. And to say their marriage didn't have an happy ending would be the understatement of the year. Rathbone, mind deteriorated to the point that on December 23rd, 1883, he decided to celebrate the holidays by trying to murder his entire family.

Seriously, while serving as a US consul in Hanover, Germany, Rathbone tried to kill his three kids. His wife was able to intervene. She tried to stop him and then he fatally shot and stabbed her and then tried to kill himself, stabbed himself five times in the chest. When the police arrived, they found Rathbone covered in blood and completely out of his mind. According to a widely repeated but not unconfirmed or excuse me, but unconfirmed report, he claimed that there were people hiding behind the pictures on his wall. He was declared not guilty of his wife's murder by reason of insanity, and he was very

insane. He spent the rest of his life in an asylum where he complained of secret machines inside the walls blowing gas into his room to give him headaches. He died in 1911, the final casualty of the Lincoln assassination nearly half a century after it occurred. Time, Chuck. tough, five takeaway. Sass nation link and suck you suckers. You glorious knowledge. Seek and meat.

Sacks, you lovers of strange, dark, weird, interesting and the true. Big thanks to the time, so again, man, high priestess, the suck harmony, belly camp, Jesse Dobner, palinative punctuation. Jesse's not sold it on that title, by the way, if you have any suggestions, send it in. For the editor of the suck. Thanks to the Reverend Dr. Joe Paisley, thanks to the time suck high priest, Alex Dugan, the Biddlelicks routine, danger brain, Eric Radiger, queen of the suck Lindsey Cummins. She keeps everything moving.

Counsel, he's trying to deforest me, be more organized. I'm working on it. Special thanks to OG Bojangles Research Department department intern Sophie Fakts, Sorceress Evans. Her idea for this topic, and I hope we did it justice. Wanna meet some fellow time, suckers, join that private Facebook group. More and more people are hopping in there.

As we continue to beta test new app features and working towards our own message board, which we're doing, stuff just, you know, just takes well, all those little lines of code that got to be put in. If you want to follow me on Instagram, just because sometimes I post fun silly stuff, it's at Dankelman's comedy, at TimeSuck, you know, is the podcast handle. I didn't write that down and now I'm confused. I think it's, now I got to look it up.

As I'm talking to you, the Instagram handle for four times suck is, yeah, time suck podcast. Okay, it's a bonus week. And we're really going into a different direction on Friday. We're going to suck on some werewolves. Seriously, I can't wait. I love this kind of shit. Where did the mythology of werewolves begin? Do people still believe in werewolves?

You know they do. There are werewolf hunters out there right now. Are you kidding me? Are there any historical examples of werewolf sightings? You know why wolves? Why not wear cats? Where possums? Where badgered? Where squirrels? Where weasels? Where fucking coons? Where chipmunks? It's just going to get weird. I'm pumped. I love monster mythology. And I love hearing from you guys. Let's check in with what you have to say on this week's Time Sucker Updates. Updates, get your time sucker updates.

All right, starting off with the very interesting update regarding someone I talked about and the toy box killer suck. Super sucker, Adrian Studeway, did some digging into the murderer who lived near me growing up at the reference that episode and Rick and Zydehow she wrote in saying listening to toy box killer episode and my Google Foo went ape shit and found this dot dot dot and then she revised me with an article link about this lady

who who lived around me as a kid she says I'm pretty sure this is a neighbor you referenced who is arrested for violating her parole from Texas creepy huh speaking of not knowing your neighbors my neighbor from my childhood home in Mississippi was just arrested for murder and attempted murder. He stabbed his mounted death, tried to kill his dad, but his two younger brothers were able to wrestle him to the ground. Man, they were all homeschooled. They look, luckily, they look at the rostle him.

Look at the, they take a chico tilo rost in the academy and rostles father to ground to prevent sometimes chiquitillo to good. This is how it's been named, Adrian. Man, crazy about your neighbor. It is so shocking when you find out something about somebody you've, you've at least seen or met. I mean, it really is just like, oh shit, that actually, that stuff does happen.

It's not just weird to know what to read about. And yet the lady who you found on the web is the woman who lived down the street from a few houses from man, good job on your detective work. I want to read you guys just a quick excerpt from that article. It says this from 1955. So his famous Houston attorney, Percy Foreman, held a news conference at the Galveston State Psychiatric Hospital on March 25th, 1955, to announce he had agreed to defend and Williams in her upcoming murder trials. I don't think she's sound of mine now and I don't think she was saying then, he told reporters, it's not a natural mother's act.

A Galveston County grand jury and died of Williams on two counts of murder almost exactly one month after she buried the dismembered bodies of her two sons, young sons behind an Algoa auto shop, although Williams confessed to killing nine year old Calvin and eight year old Conrad about five hours after her rest, she recanted that admission just a few days after the indictments. Woo, Williams, a 28 year old five in dime store clerk, alternately described in news accounts as attractive and calmly initially said she strangled the boys to stop the suffering they endured from their classmates teasing what the fuck.

She also said she didn't want to see them grow up in poverty, but after spending a few weeks in jail and at the Galveston psychiatric hospital, she began to blame the murders on a junky drug dealer who sent her away from her pass in the trailer and killed the boys in her absence. Now the article doesn't say what I thought was the kids have been like hammered a death. I guess strangled. I heard for some reason. And I just say they've been dismembered. I guess strangled. I heard for some reason. And does that even disemembered? I did hear they were cut up in the bathtub.

My grandma Betty told me that they, you know, the lie was poured over them then in the bathtub. And my grandma Betty, I just talked to her about this yesterday to ask her and she reminded me that in Riggins, she was known as Lori Allen. And yeah, my grandma said that also, I thought two elderly men had died while dating her and Rickens know three.

All three elderly men who dated one who married her, give her the last name of Alan, died while they were with her. She is crazy. And then the bodies weren't ever, one family did think about having one of the bodies exhumed to do like a post mortem autopsy or whatever to try and figure out if they were in fact poisoned or something, but then they didn't have the money to do it. And we're kind of like, well, what's the point? She's back in jail anyway.

And saying no, this woman who lived down the street on her senior years for me was who was my great, great uncle's girlfriend. Deal that shit. Okay. Now for some, so thank you. Thank you very much for sending in that amazing update, Adrian. I love it. Now for some constructive criticism from Time Sucker Charles over street who writes, to whom it may can suck? Well, well done. I love it. Now for some constructive criticism from time, sucker Charles over street who writes to whom it may can suck. Well,

well done. I like that. Dear Maestro Succo, I've been listening for a while now. I put a sizable dent in the list of previous topics. I've been a fan. I've been a long time fan of your comedy and finally gave the suck a try. I was immediately hooked. I was blown away by how well researched it was, how objective you remain and love the random comic tangents during some of the darker episodes. It is well needed for a bit of comic relief during the course of a horrific timeline. I spoke to my wife about the suck several times

to the point that I'm sure she was tired of hearing my rantings. One night she gave in, we listened to one together. The next day I came home for lunch, only to find she was halfway through her third. Suffice to say, she too was hooked and maybe will now stay together. As the saying goes, you know, because we now suck together,

that's right, a couple of sucks together together stays together. My one bit of criticism, I one bit of constructive criticism, which I know you will take very well. You always do, is that you sometimes have a tendency to throw the baby out with the bath water. So to speak on certain subjects, for example, crystallology. This is a topic that does hold some scientific grounds based on the ability of crystals to harness and hold energy. Even our current computer technology is based on the ability of crystals to harness and hold energy. Even our current computer technology is based on the ability of silicon crystals to storm formation and their ability to condense energy for lasers.

The problem is that a lot of new age people have taken the minimal scientific data and created a wealth of ridiculousness to surround it. For one more example, meant to keep this brief, but it ate me up since I heard it. During the Mandela episode, you dismissed the scientific credibility of Fred Allen Wolf based on the fact that he has known as Dr. Quantum. Wolf is actually a very well-known quantum physicist and no credible scientist would ever denote his merit.

Dr. Quantum has become his nickname because of his career goal of making quantum physics easily digestible to readers who are not physicists. What you did was on par with saying, don't believe things that Bill Nye says because he can't be a credible scientist if he's known as the science guy. Oh, to be a fly on the wall if wolf

and Neil deGrasse Tyson ever got together for a discussion. Thank you for entertaining me in this message that turned out much longer than planned. I would place an apology here, but you always make note that it is not an issue when people send these in. No, absolutely, it's not an issue, man. Thank you, Charles.

You're absolutely right. And you know what, You are absolutely right. I do need to be more discerning when it comes to what I say about people and ideas who, you know, I consider to be kind of like this, this wackadoodle mythology who, you know, who I think reference kind of wackadoodles. You know, when people start talking about crystals,

I do immediately think of pseudoscientific horse shit. I immediately pick her somewhere like trying to heal me with some amethyst or trying to ward off evil spirits with topaz or quartz and some shit. And I do, I do know, I need to be reminded that's not all to that that world is. Yes, riding somebody off for a nickname is especially dumb for me since I don't have a history degree and I've known as the master's sucker. So that is extremely hypocritical for me to make fun of somebody like, oh, fucking okay, Dr. Quantum. Anyway, back to the master sucker. Ah, yeah, I can be a jackass. Thank you for helping, you know, correct me Charles. We all need that. It's funny. I know some of you don't like it when I get teased where it's important. Man, it really is. We got to stay humble. We got

to, you know, correct each other. Got a message that I should promote the secret suck more from Kyler. I fucking I have no idea how to say your last name engine thrown Ingen thrown Jesus Christ man. I'm hoping to get your last name kind of that didn't look like a name to me I N G E N thrown in Ingen thrown. I don't know anyway. I can say your first name Kyler I'm a fan of that name greetings master sucker Kyler writes in just joined the secret suck. Kick him myself, we're not joining earlier. Once I saw the bonus content that I didn't even know

I was missing, all I could say was, are you fucking kidding me? I'm at work when I listen to you, so I don't catch every word. But I can honestly say I had no idea how much secret suckers received for such a small contribution. This is just my two cents,

but I think you need to pimp yourself a few more times for episode. You're worth it, Dan. It's not like my wife right now. I have to tune out of your podcast, at least four or five times for episode to have a conversation to work. It might be uncanny timing or the fact that you're not selling yourself as much as you could be, but I had no idea what I was missing.

I'm sure there are suckers out there just like me. Push to Dan, come as a brand man, you've worked hard to cultivate it. Let people know more than once a show. Sorry for the long-winded message. Take it easy, PS. I made it behind the bit station on Pandora. I'm a little disappointed. It's not more of you to show. Sorry for the long-winded message, take it easy, PS. I made it behind the bit station on Pandora. I'm a little disappointed, it's not more of you in chat. Oh man, thank you, Carter.

Again, thank you, Carter, whatever your last name is. Yeah, the behind the bit, you know what, we didn't wanna make it, like I felt maybe this kind of speaks to what you're saying. It's funny, it's bad for me to sell from out. The guy, the guy at Pandora was like, do you want us to include like a lot more of your bits? And I felt it was too much of Chad and I already. And so I was like, now you just, you know, put

another people that you think are good that match us, which probably is dumb of me. I'm trying to get better. I'm not a good self-promoter. It used to be impossible for me to do it. It used to be on stage. I would feel like the hardest moment for me on stage was just to mention I was selling something after the show. I just felt like a dirt back. But I do work pretty hard trying to create a lot of engaging content. And I'm glad you like it. So glad you like it. And I am going to do a big patreon push again here coming up.

I got to create some new goals, weighting on a few app revisions. And I know I probably don't need to, but I just want to get these new app things. I want to get this fact page up. I want to get some variable speed playback up. So I think it's even that much more marketable and usable and just fun. And then the fact page will make it so much easier when you guys have problems.

If there's any kind of like Patreon linking issues, any kind of app issues, I really want to have cool tutorials to make it fun for you to figure out how to do that. And then I'm going to promote that promise. I appreciate you pushing me. Last update, uplifting one. I appreciate you pushing me. Last update, uplifting one.

I know this is a long episode, but uplifting WC update from Cole Hanson, Cole writes Westboro Baptist Church and the Patriot Guard long email, but I pray to Nimrod you read this. Well, Nimrod heard you, Cole. Hail Nimrod. Lord General, Suckmaster Esquire.

This is a great update, by the way. This is this, I got a little emotional when I first read this one. I have been binge listening to your podcast for the past week and Holy Shit. Amazing. That's not the emotional part. That'd be super nice to system me. I have written in once before, but I really wanted to give you a little extra about the WBC that you could share to other listeners.

I was, I'm born and raised in Derby, Kansas. Derby has an American Legion writer post, post four, where veterans have committed to continue to serve this country after they have left a military, but in a different way. The ALR gives back to the active duty soldiers and their families. Most of these men and women served during Vietnam when soldiers were not well respected, but they persevered because they loved this country and did what they thought kept freedom in our land. My grandfather Craig Hansen, writer name Bronco, LOL was a member and one of the reasons Kansas went

from four ALR posts 72 during his 20 years of membership before he passed away. Wow, Bronco was a co-founder also of the Patriot Guard. These old geezers meant business. One of Bronco's friends Terry was watching the news of his wife in the early 2000s and his wife and him were furious at the WBC protests. And so were the other members, especially being from Kansas.

So Bronco, Terry, Greg Hanson, no relation and Steve McDonald bought brand new flags, put them on steel poles about eight feet tall, got other members to ride on their hogs, to the funerals of soldiers who had died in our current battles or veterans who fought decades ago, but under the same oath. The idea grew in parallel to the WC, BC protests. Bronco and his brother started a nationwide revolt, a silent revolt. They now lead processions at military funerals and stand outside the chapel and line and cemetery at the grave side service. I had the privilege to stand in 15 degree weather with these men and women at one of these at one of our family friends funerals when I was 12 and I was hooked. Our own form of protesting the protesters.

When Bronco passed away from a short battle with lung cancer in February this year, our family learned from his friends the truth behind these stories because Bronco was too humble to praise himself the right with the way he deserved. He inspired hundreds of not thousands of riders to continue to defend the men and women they promised to serve alongside. At Bronco's funeral there were 250 motorcycles and 300 riders. They lined the chapel grounds and it was the biggest funeral the mortuary in the Patriot Guard had ever been a part of.

I thought this was an important story to tell and hopefully you can maybe condense it and spread it as I didn't condense it. I don't share that thing. Amazing people doing amazing shit. You are a man I know my grandfather would love because you accept everybody from the beginning just like he did and you'll mark them off if they give you a reason just like he did. Throughout my days, I get choked up at the whole he left but the laughter from your show and the acceptance, you have been teaching me picked up where it needed to be in my life. Thank you, Mr. Commons. You're changing lives week by week. Well,

goddamn it, man. Yeah, you made me tear up on a fucking plane. First time I read this. I'm honored, man, I'm honored. I'm not sure I'm 5% of the guy that your hero of a grandfather was, but I can honestly say I'm doing my best right now, man. He sounds like an amazing man. Serve our country and war, came back home, served it some war. I mean, you really don't get better than that.

And then these WBC cock suckers start shitting on fellow veteran brothers and sisters on the country fought for. Not only did he, you know, you know, counter their protests. He did it in a class your way that I probably could, man. He did it. He did it. He didn't just talk about it. He did it and he's still touching lives now from the from the next great plane out there beyond our comprehension. I hope you're listening. Hope you're listening, Bronco. If you are a man, if you see Nimrod, you hailing for me. And the rest of you, you think about that story, if you think your life, or anyone's life, doesn't matter for any reason.

Fucking sure does. Just one person can make a big difference. Alright, man. Love you guys. Hail Nimrod. I'm suckers, I need a net. We all did. Well, that's all until Thursday, you know, you were, yeah, Thursday, actually, yeah. That's all until Thursday. I got confused myself for a second,

for you space lizards, and then I'll be back Friday for everybody. Tackling those werewolves, would be howling at the moon, just, oh! How did that feel in your ear, drums? Until then, don't try to kill the president, no matter what you think he's to blame for.

It's not gonna work out well for you. Food's kiddin' get away with it in 1865. You're not going to get away with it now. And keep on suckin'. you