Timesuck with Dan Cummins - 99 - Area 51: Secret Weapons Program or Alien Experimentation?

Episode Date: August 6, 2018

What actually goes on at Area 51? There are two competing narratives. One involves a series of classified Cold War projects involving covert aerial surveillance aircraft and nuclear weapons testing, a...nd then there is the conspiracy-laden, primarily extraterrestrial-based and fascinating UFO lore. So which is it? Or, is it both? We dig into the "official" narrative based primarily on leaked CIA documents and also at conspiracies put forth by various people claiming to have witnessed what actually goes on in and around Area 51, today, on Timesuck. Unintentionally hilarious Robert Miller Area 51 video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QIxzvtmF0t4 Merch - https://badmagicmerch.com/ Want to try out Discord!?! https://discord.gg/tqzH89v Want to join the Cult of the Curious private Facebook Group? Go directly to Facebook and search for "Cult of the Curious" in order to locate whatever current page hasn't been put in FB Jail :) For all merch related questions: https://badmagicmerch.com/pages/contact Please rate and subscribe on iTunes and elsewhere and follow the suck on social media!! @timesuckpodcast on IG, @timesuckpodcast on Twitter, and www.facebook.com/timesuckpodcast Wanna be a Space Lizard? We're over 2800 strong! Click here: https://www.patreon.com/timesuckpodcast Sign up through Patreon and for $5 a month you get to listen to the Secret Suck, which will drop Thursdays at Noon, PST. You'll also get 20% off of all regular Timesuck merch PLUS access to exclusive Space Lizard merch. You get to vote on two Monday topics each month via the app. And you get the download link for my new comedy album, Feel the Heat. Check the Patreon posts to find out how to download the new album and take advantage of other benefits. And, thank you for supporting the show by doing your Amazon shopping after clicking on my Amazon link at www.timesuckpodcast.com

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 What actually goes on at Area 51? There are two competing narratives. There are accounts pieced together from declassified or leaked government documents that when woven together amount to the closest thing we have to an official story. And then there's the conspiracy laden primarily extraterrestrial based fascinating UFO lore. According to declassified CIA information, Area 51 was used to test nuclear weapons on US soil and also to develop spy planes for the CIA and the Air Force during the Cold War. By the early 1950s, US planes had begun conducting low-flying recon missions over the USSR, but there were constant worries of them being spotted and shot down.
Starting point is 00:00:36 So in 1954, President Eisenhower authorized the development of a top secret high-altitude recon aircraft dubbed Project aquatone. The program required a remote location. There wasn't easily accessible to civilians or spies. Area 51 was created in the Nevada desert due to its being one of the most remote regions in the continental United States. Then in the summer of 1955, sightings have unidentified flying objects reported around Area 51.
Starting point is 00:01:03 Again, according to the official, albeit leaked story, they siding occurred because the Air Force had begun testing the top secret U2 high altitude spy plane. The U2 could fly higher than 60,000 feet up to 70,000 feet roughly compared to the most normal airliners that time flying in the 10 to 20,000 feet range. Most of the nation's commercial flights topped out at 12,000 feet, military aircraft for max and out around 40,000 feet, and almost known in the world knew this plane existed.
Starting point is 00:01:32 So if a pilot spotted a tiny speck moving high above them, what they thought was an impossible altitude, of course they would not be able to identify, and it would be logical to assume it might be extra terrestrial. Same for any, you know, Tom, Dicker, or Chicatilo on the ground. able to identify and it would be logical to assume it might be extra terrestrial. Same for any, you know, Tom, Dicker, or Chicatillo on the ground. Why you out me to begin the Nozzles episode? What Chicatillo spots in UFOs now? I guess at least you must make a Jokosel's shamecook. And after those first U2 flights, the UFO sightings around Area 51
Starting point is 00:02:01 started pouring in. Explained it doesn't it? Not for some. Something, how convenient. What better way to cover up hiding actual alien technology or aliens themselves? Release a smoke screen. Release previously unknown and advanced flight technology to hide other flight technology that's far more advanced because it's not from this world.
Starting point is 00:02:22 And that leads us to the second narrative. Has the government been hiding proof of extraterrestrials at Area 51, possibly even working with them, or working for them? QX files theme music now. Well, one former Area 51 employee, supposed employee claims to have been tasked with reverse engineering the anti-gravitational technology of UFOs to incorporate it into military aircraft. Claims were made that alien beans have been spotted at Roswell and Area 51 and that briefing documents were read describing historical involvement by extraterrestrial beans from the binary star system Zeta Rikouli with Earth for the past 10,000 years.
Starting point is 00:03:00 Probably the damn space, those are just man. There have been claims that alien wreckage from from Roswell was brought to Area 51 as you heard about it. And the Alien Extravaganza suck back in February of 2017. And we're gonna take a fun look into all of this today. Do our best to separate fact from pure speculation in today's highly entertaining, deep dive into the conspiracy lovers, what dream known as Area 51
Starting point is 00:03:20 today on TimeSuck. You're listening to TimeSuck. Happy Monday Time Suckers. Happy New Week Meat Sacks. Workin' wait. Time for TimeSuck. On the Master Sucker, President of the Poodie and Judu Fan Club, say this to Torture's with who tortured with Michael, Motherfuckin McDonald, triple M. I keep forgetting when I don't love anymore. I keep forgetting things will never be the same again. I keep forgetting how you made it so clear. I keep forgetting every time you're near. Every time I see you smile.
Starting point is 00:04:07 Yeah, yes, I'm Dan Cummins and you're listening to Time Suck. And I'm recording today from a hotel in Tampa, Florida, so the people around me very happy to be triple in this morning, I'm sure. And that is why today's episode is going to sound a little different, a different mic, different room with very shitty acoustics. The sounds bounce all around and I just can't figure out a stop it. And my voice is a little shot from show. So apologies for the things I can't control, but welcome to the cult of the curious.
Starting point is 00:04:35 And hopefully, Reverend Dr. Joe Paisley will be able to clean this up quite a bit from how I hear it right now in my headphones. Thanks to the majority of you who seemed to understand my decision to do one more Friday's bonus episode than suspend further Friday bonus episodes possibly forever. I know others have your own are pissed and feel betrayed. I get the emails, I see the reviews. For those of you undecided about how you feel. I'll just say again that when I made the reviews for the bonus episodes deal, the episodes just they didn't take nearly as long to create, because all episodes were shorter
Starting point is 00:05:06 and honestly not as thoroughly researched and produced. If I would have kept the episodes at the original length, kept the research time originally what it was, more minimal, I could do bonus episodes every week and spend less time overall on the suck than I do now. It isn't about trying to back out of a deal, it's about the context around the original deal changing substantially, and it's suddenly making the deal virtually impossible
Starting point is 00:05:29 to carry out. That's part of why I'm recording a hotel room today because I ended up trying to do this episode because I did a dinner. Back in the suck down to so thanks to those of you who do understand and very grateful for all the reviews and ratings you've been still giving. And I did do 25 bonus sucks because of those reviews and ratings. They do mean a lot to me. Thanks for those of you who continue to do that. Thanks for continuing to spread the suck. Huge things.
Starting point is 00:05:53 Okay, shifting gears very quickly to a little bit of stand up. Thanks to the time-slokers who came out to the Tampa shows, men, very, very happy. We got it. I did a Thursday. Six shows. One was sold out a couple. We're very close to being sold out. And the other ones had a solid crap. I mean, you know, over a thousand, you know, time suckers came out in Tampa. It's a fan fucking
Starting point is 00:06:13 tastic. Heading back to Florida this week shows that the Palm Beach improv Friday through Sunday, August 10 through 12th. A little nervous about those ones. I've, I'm not done, a South Florida much, because traditionally, now many people have showed up in those markets. So maybe, maybe, maybe things have changed. We'll find out. And then on to Zany's in Chicago, August 15th through the 18th, Westward after that to Denver, Comedy works 23rd to 25th, and then that new live time suck on the Narco Satanist on
Starting point is 00:06:39 Sunday the 26th, getting fucking crazy. New merch hitting the store today, a new second generation hat for everyone, and a bunch of new shit for space lizards only. A bunch of space lizards merch I'll go into more detail on that in Thursday's Secret Suck about, you know, what's in store literally for the lizards. Some cool, cultish, danger brain design tank top shirts,
Starting point is 00:06:57 new stickers, a lot of it glows in the dark. Reminds me of clothes I was into in high school in the best way. And I have a giant fucking bridge troll of a head. And it took me years to find a hat that fit me perfectly, but wasn't so big, it would look weird on humans with not, you know, watermelon-sized, crazy monster heads. So I finally found a hat in Cleveland last year
Starting point is 00:07:18 that I've come to love just because it's so comfortable. I think it's cool looking. And I told Axis Apparel, our new distributor, that I wanted that exact same hat to be made into a timesack hat. So I could actually wear it proudly. I mean, sadly, the first generation times a cat, some people are like, why don't you wear it? Because it fucking hurts.
Starting point is 00:07:35 It just, it fits 90, not 5% of humans, but not me. It's just I'm just outside that range, head size. And of course, the one I had to find was the most expensive hat out there. And so I assure you, even though we're charging a few dollars more than the previous hat, we actually make less money on the hats. But I don't care because my favorite fucking hat of any hat I've ever worn my life. It's 70% acrylic, 30% wool, 700% imported possum dickfer, 300% domestic bald eagle butthole.
Starting point is 00:08:02 This is what gives it maximum quality and durability. And it looks quality and durability. And it looks dope, man, has inner kind of a cult of the curious stitching, custom label, danger brain print and repeat, underbrim pattern. And we won't be doing another baseball hat for a long time and won't be able to forward print in big bunch of hats like this for a while again.
Starting point is 00:08:18 So I hope you like as much as I do. And then when it comes to hats, we'll take a break from the baseball hats. I know some of you want a different style and we are working on that right now. Okay, so enough shilling, enough business, time for fun, time to suck on some of that sweet Area 51 sauce. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪
Starting point is 00:08:38 As I stated earlier, two main narratives with Area 51 is Area 51, a secret weapon testing facility or a hot bit of extraterrestrial activity. So let's start today taking a good look at option one. Almost everything we know about Area 51 comes from a few declassified documents, the two biggest being released in 1998, 2007. In the declassified documents, the name Area 51 almost always redacted or blacked out, only two known exceptions, most likely mistakes.
Starting point is 00:09:05 What is confirmed is that Area 51 was used to test nuclear weapons on US soil, and the area around Area 51 and used to develop spy planes for the CIA and the Air Force during the Cold War. It's a little complicated with the terminology, like Area 51, because as you'll see, we'll get into it here. It's part of a kind of a large military complex of, you know, sites with various names that are all kind of out there in the same group of land in the Nevada desert. Area 51 being, you know, one little parcel on a much larger testing facility site.
Starting point is 00:09:37 The facility contains the largest amount of weapons, great plutonium, and uranium in the U.S., not secured inside a nuclear laboratory. So now let's really get into the history of the Area 51 Secret Weapons Development and Testing Program with today's Time Suck timeline. All right, we start back in 1941. Back before Area 51 was ever thought in anyone's head. To understand how black top secret projects began and how they continued to function today, one must start with the creation of the atomic bomb. The men who ran the Manhattan Project wrote the rules about black operations. The atomic bomb was the mother of all black projects, and it is the parent from which
Starting point is 00:10:23 all black operations have sprung since. And it began on December 6, 1941, FDR authorized the Manhattan Engineering District for the purpose of creating an atomic bomb. It would later be called the Manhattan Project. On December 6, yeah, the 1941 Colonel Leslie Groves has placed in charge of the Manhattan Project, Jay Robert Oppenheimer becomes the project's
Starting point is 00:10:44 scientific director. Now, Colonel Groves is the man who also designed the Pentagon. Yeah, he directed the enormous construction effort that went into Manhattan Project's pre-Area 51 facilities, made critical decisions on the various methods of isotopes separation, acquired raw materials, directed the collection of military intelligence on the German nuclear energy project
Starting point is 00:11:03 and helped select the cities in Japan that were chosen as targets Paul Newman played him in the 1989 fat man and little boy movie that reenact the Manhattan Project and that's a that's a whole Another sucked Manhattan Project Jay Robert Oppenheimer was the American theoretical physicist and professor of physics at the University of California Berkeley Oppenheimer was the wartime head of the Los Alamos Laboratory in New Mexico, and is among those who are credited with being the fathers of the atomic bomb for their role in the Manhattan Project. Dwight Schultz, aka Murdoch, from the 18 old series, plays Oppenheimer in Fat Man, a little
Starting point is 00:11:36 boy. And these two guys are crucial to the development of the atomic bombs dropped in Nagasaki and Hiroshima. The bombs that would inspire Oppenheimer to quote, ''Engine Hindu scripture and say, ''now I am become death, the destroyer of worlds.'' On July 16th, 1945, the atomic bomb is tested inside the white sands proving ground in the New Mexico high desert, just over a hundred miles west of America's butthole,
Starting point is 00:11:58 Roswell, New Mexico. Now, in interesting trivia, the first atomic bomb's price tag, factoring in the research and infrastructure, created that went into completing it, adjusted for inflation, $28 billion. My interesting trivia, the first atomic bomb's price tag, factoring in the research and infrastructure created that went into completing it, adjusted for inflation, $28 billion. Yeah, very, very expensive weapon. By 1945, the Manhattan Project had 80 offices and dozens of production plants spread all over the country, including a 60,000 acre facility in rural Tennessee outside of Knoxville,
Starting point is 00:12:22 town called Oak Ridge, that pulled more power off the nation's electrical grid than New York City did on any given night. Roughly 30,000 people live in Oak Ridge today and it wasn't even officially incorporated into a town until 1959. The Manhattan Project essentially created this town. The government still being the town's primary employer. August 1945, atomic bomb, it drops on Hiroshima on August 6th. Another one on Nagasaki, August 9th, over 129,000 Japanese soldiers and civilians are killed in
Starting point is 00:12:52 the first and last nuclear weapons strike in US warfare history. Japan announces its surrender on August 15th. August 1st, 1946, the Atomic Energy Act is signed into law by President Harry S. Truman. I'm presiding at a presidential aide, heard Truman whisper, Kill him. Kill him all. And then the president stared off in the middle distance and muttered, I am the God of Light. And I will bring my thunder down against any who opposes my will. And then he cried softly for a bit and then he complained of feeling light headed,
Starting point is 00:13:27 lie down for a while and took a nap. Now, he only signed a bill. I've no proof of other shit. It was the atomic energy act that the, or with the atomic energy act that the designation born classified came to be. And it was the atomic energy commission that would oversee the building of 70,000 nuclear bombs in 65 different cities, or different cities, excuse me, 65 different sizes and styles. The Atomic Energy Commission will be the first entity to control Area 51, and it would
Starting point is 00:13:55 do so with unprecedented power. And let's explain this notion of born classified real quick. For history buffs out there, the first law passed in the US officially criminalizing, uh, letting an enemy know about sensitive military information was the defense secrets act of 1911. It criminalized obtaining or delivering information, respecting the national defense to which he is not lawfully entitled. Then in 1917, the espionage act was passed shortly after US entering into World War One, basically just imposed different penalties than the 1911 Act, such as the death penalty for revealing sensitive information.
Starting point is 00:14:31 But not letting the enemy know about sensitive military information is different than officially keeping secrets from not only the enemy, but also the US public and many in the government itself. The notion of born classifier, born secret introduced in the atomic energy act was new. Information can now be classified from the moment of its inception. Info could be and was deemed classified without having to be formally evaluated by any governmental oversight kind of agency or committee. They could create whatever they felt was important to create under the general instruction of build whatever you need to build to fuck Russia
Starting point is 00:15:04 up if World War III breaks out. No Senate committee is going to be peaking over your shoulder, important to create under the general instruction of build whatever you need to build to fuck Russia up if World War III breaks out. No Senate committee is going to be peaking over your shoulder, no oversight at all, just get it done, do whatever you need to do to create bigger and better weapons than the Soviets. January 1st, 1947, the Atomic Energy Commission takes over the assets of the Manhattan Project, which ceased to exist under that name on December 31, 1946. And this newly formed clandestine operation almost immediately starts doing some real shady shit. In a 1949 operation called the Green Run, the Atomic Energy Commission released radioactive
Starting point is 00:15:39 iodine 131 and xenon 133 to the atmosphere which contained a 500 or excuse me which contaminated a 500,000 acre area containing three small towns near the Hanford site in Southern Washington. That's actually Southeast Asian Washington not far from where I am really. So you know kind of fucked up to pump radioactive elements into the air over towns full of people who have no idea what's happening to them. Then in 1953 the AEC ran several studies on the health effects of radioactive iodine in newborns and pregnant women at the University of Iowa, arguably much more fucked up. Who should we test the effects of radioactive material on? Stuff we know for sure is very dangerous based on all the testing to let up to the atomic bombs.
Starting point is 00:16:26 I don't know. I don't know. Pregnant women and babies are probably the most evil. You're right, Walter. That would be the most evil. I was thinking puppies and kittens, but babies would be the worst. So let's do that. Also in 1953, the AEC sponsored a study to discover if radioactive iodine affected premature babies differently than full affected premature babies.
Starting point is 00:16:45 Differently than full-term babies. Even more fucked up. Hey guys, I'm really struggling with figuring out how to do something more evil than performing radioactive tests on newborn babies. Any ideas? Oh, how about primis? How about premature fragile newborn babies already likely suffering from a variety of medical problems that will make it harder for them to live until adulthood, even if we don't focus on them.
Starting point is 00:17:07 How about we start throwing some radiation on the primis? God damn it Walter, that right there. That's why we hired you. Great job. Primis is absolutely the worst group of humans we could possibly experiment on. God, my dick is so hard right now, I just can't wait to get started. In the experiment, researchers from Harper Hospital in Detroit orally administered iodine 131 to 65 premature and full-term infants, and another AEC study, researchers at the University of Nebraska College of Medicine, fed iodine 131 to 28 healthy infants through a gastric tube to test the concentration of iodine in the infant's thyroid glands.
Starting point is 00:17:40 So, you know, slightly less evil, I guess. At least they're giving radiation to otherwise healthy babies. And who's one of this program? Vanever Bush, no relation to George W. Bush. President Roosevelt had appointed Vanever Bush to leave the group that would create the Manhattan Project to make the bomb before World War II. Bush would head the OSRD, the Office of Scientific Research and Development, created in 1941, the office that oversaw the creation of the Manhattan Project. Bush was a brilliant engineer, inventor, and science administrator,
Starting point is 00:18:11 graduating from Tufts University in 1914, and MIT in 1916. And to be clear, he doesn't appear to be someone who got off and just being able. I know I can get a little cartoon or something, some of these things. He was a highly intelligent, and just to find the means kind of guy. And in the Graham scheme of things, that was probably the mentality the US needed to win the war, needed to win World War II.
Starting point is 00:18:34 I mean, I joke around a lot, but I do realize that for the greater good, sacrifices have to be made. Possibly, I don't know, baby sacrifices, I fucking as monstrous as that sounds. I don't know that for sure, but maybe I'm open to the possibility. I'm not some bleeding heart, irrational don't know, baby sacrifices. I fucking, it's monstrous as that sounds, you know? I don't know that for sure, but maybe I'm open to the possibility. I'm not some bleeding heart irrational extreme liberal
Starting point is 00:18:49 who thinks that wars, you know, just never need to be fought, or that when they do need to be fought, that there's no excuse not to play nice, that you should never play dirty. I mean, in my opinion, that type of thinking is ridiculously childish and naive. Sometimes the end does justify the mean.
Starting point is 00:19:07 Sometimes you know, winning the war just prevents the most atrocity overall. And sometimes you can do some shady shit to get there. The OSRD dissolved after the war following the war. Bush helped create the joint research and development board of the army and navy of what she was the chairman. And then with the passage of the National Security Act 1947, that culture, altering act, we've talked about many times in the Suckman. This is the act that created the CIA, created other controversial agencies, led to stuff
Starting point is 00:19:34 like MK-Ultra. With this passage, the J-R-D-B becomes the Research and Development Board, which then quickly morphs into the National Science Foundation. And the role of this agency was to hire and oversee some of the nation's best scientific minds and give them as much money and support as they needed to create the most powerful weapons they could possibly create. You know, they were operating in secret with essentially an unlimited budget. Just some cold-washed man, Bojangles, Grouse, and his hair bristles every time I say it.
Starting point is 00:20:03 And Triple M grabs his gun. It has just sweet baby face James Ingram. Grammy winner. All three prepared to fight communists at a moment's notice. And Vanever Bush was a dude who is very concerned with the Ruske's man, very worried about communism and spread, very cold war, very worried about Stalin. For 18 days after the bombs dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki Bush had monitored the movements of Joseph Stalin's army.
Starting point is 00:20:26 As he marched Soviet troops into eastern Asia, positioning his red army forces in China, insuria, Sakhalan Island, North Korea. When the fighting finally stopped, Bush knew he had to convince President Truman that the Soviet Union could not be trusted, and then he did just that. He felt that the U.S. needed even more advanced technologies to fight future wars. And following World War II, Vanever Bush and members of the War Department began planning to use the atomic bomb. Before Area 51 was established, the U.S. government tested their new nuclear post World War II weapons technology. At Bikini a toll in the Marshall Islands, tests would go on there from 1946 through 1958.
Starting point is 00:21:02 Random trivia, the swimsuit. The bikini. The swimsuit known as the bikini that entire style is named after this little cluster of islands. On July 5th, 1946, just four days after the first nuclear device, nicknamed Able, was detonated over the bikini atoll, Lewis Reard, or Louis Reard, I guess, a French automobile and clothing designer introduced a new swimsuit design named the bikini after the atoll. Rayard was a French mechanical engineer by training and manager of his mother's linger shop in Paris. He introduced the new garment to the media and the public on July 5th, 1946 at a public
Starting point is 00:21:39 school in Pettie, how awkward to run a lingerie shop with your mom, by the way. Hey, mom, what do you think about cutting back on G-strings and doubling down on Crossroads panties? Which one do you like the most, mother? Which one when you put it on Gets Dad's Dick the Hardest? I mean, I doubt that those conversations put still weird. Also, before testing began in 1946, roughly 150 people lived on the Bikini atoll and were forced to relocate. It's just a little messed up. In 1968, they were allowed to move back.
Starting point is 00:22:08 Then scientists realized it was still very radioactive and they had to move out again. And then beginning in 1975, they were given millions of dollars in compensation for the whole, having their home land, nuclear, or excuse me, obliterated with nuclear weapons. And again, like I know, I'm probably saying the word nuclear with the incorrect pronunciation, but goddamn it, I got a little bit of an accent. It's just my own accent, so just fucking lay off.
Starting point is 00:22:31 The government eventually realized, Bikini Tull was too public of a workspace, the government wanted to find an area on US soil to do a nuclear testing away from Soviet eyes, this led to the Nevada test site, and then to Area 51. Just yeah, buddy, now we're getting into the birth of the conspiracy theorist, Boner site and then to Area 51. Just yeah, buddy. Now we're getting into the birth of the conspiracy theorist, boner, generator known as Area 51.
Starting point is 00:22:48 Also the name of the video game, I used to play so much at the good old Bulldog Tavern back in Spokane, Washington. My favorite bar back in the Gonzaga days. No longer there, man, rest in peace Bulldog Tavern. I miss shooting those damn aliens in their stupid faces. Air Force Colonel Richard, who's Foghorn Leghorn, has been watching the test at Bikini Atoll
Starting point is 00:23:07 and realizes the world cannot afford a nuclear war. His middle name wasn't actually Foghorn, but his last name really was Leghorn. You remember Foghorn Leghorn? I gotta love that cartoon as he kept me. He was the big rooster from the Warner Brothers like Loneetunes cartoons, first popped up in 1946. That's a joke I say, That's a joke, son.
Starting point is 00:23:25 Remember him in sassy little Henry Hawk used to power around? Good times, man. Go, I say, go, boy, you bother me. Kid, don't quit talking as much. He'll get his tongue sun burned, I say. That's a joke, I say. Any who's a Colonel Leghorn, not Foghorn Leghorn believed that if the United States could fly secret reconnaissance missions over Russia's enormous landmass and photograph its military installations, the
Starting point is 00:23:49 nation could stay ahead of the Russians in the Cold War nuclear weapons race. His idea was to create a state-of-the-art spy plane that could fly higher than the enemy's fighter jets could climb higher than their anti-aircraft missiles could travel. And then the leghorn committed himself to developing a new philosophy of spine on the enemy from above, concept that would be known as aerial espionage. A 1950 top secret feasibility study named Project Nutmeg.
Starting point is 00:24:15 Fucking names they come up with. Really, that's the best, Nutmeg. Well, what's the name for a super cool project? We're gonna think about Nutmegmeg or maybe Perry Winkle. Perhaps, maybe Basel, project Basel. Anyway, this project Nutmeg determined for President Truman that a huge area in Southern Nevada, one of the least populated areas in the nation,
Starting point is 00:24:38 not situated on a coastline in the Connell US, was the most ideal place in the Connell US to test nuclear weapons. The Nevada test and training range quickly became 4,687 square miles of government controlled land. On 1951, the economist who is running the financial office at the Marshall Plan, excuse me, Richard Bissell was approached by Frank Wisner, the head of the CIA's OPC, the office of polity, the office, excuse the office of policy coordination that funded covert missions who asked him to help finance building the Clandestine weapons
Starting point is 00:25:11 testing facility and then devatted desert that would morph into Area 51. 1954 James Killian, former president of MIT, co-director of the wartime operation of MIT, recruited the same Richard Bissle, placed him in charge of one of the most ambitious, most-decreate programs in CIA history, the U2 spy plane program developed under the codename of Project Aquatone. Old Dickie B, man, Dickie B's and charge boys and girls, Dick Bizzle. Dick Bizz. Who's in charge of spy planes? Dick B Biz. Dicky B to the is to the isle. Richard Bizzle as fellow CIA officer Herbert Miller, the agency's leading expert on Soviet nuclear
Starting point is 00:25:53 weapons flew across the American West at an unmarked beach craft V 35, Bonanza in 1955 in search of a location where they could build a secret CIA test facility, the only one of its kind on American soil. And Bizzle was very aware of that groom-like, big dry lake bed was just over the hill from the government's atomic bomb testing facility, that Nevada test and training range, that they already knew was the most remote place. So as far as the agency was concerned,
Starting point is 00:26:19 the secrecy goes, no better place in the kind of LUS for the CIA to set up a new spy plane program and began their clandestine work, you know. So four months after Dickey B and Herbert Miller touched down on groom Lake area 51 has this first residence The agency's briefed about area 51 at the start of the U2 spy plane project where the CIA U.S. Air Force National Advisory Committee for Aeronautics NACA. It it was the four-runner to NASA, the Navy, the National Photographic Interpretation Center,
Starting point is 00:26:48 the center that would analyze the photos that you two would take during his missions. And now, MOFOs, we are into the actual construction of Area 51 on the grounds of the Nevada Test and Training Range, or joining the grounds. It's all part of the huge complex. It's all part of these things or part of this Nellis Air Force Base Complex. You know, it's not a attach to the base, but Nellis Area 51, the test and training range, they're all out in the same
Starting point is 00:27:14 area, all part of the same group of Southern Nevada military kind of desert land. Originally, the base consisted of one airplane hanger and a handful of tents called Hoogis, constructed out of wooden platforms covered in canvas tops. Sometimes when the winds got rough, the tents would blow away. It took another month for halfway decent showers to be built on the base. Men could have been at an army outpost in Egypt or India as far as the amenities were concerned. But Area 51 was as much washed in DC as it was Wild West. And plans began to build some spy planes in the same area.
Starting point is 00:27:44 Nuclear weapons were now going to be tested and the u2 would be the first of these planes a top secret airplane built on the covert orders of president ison hour it's nineteen fifty five budget was twenty two million which would be a hundred eighty million uh... actually over a hundred eighty million in today's dollars a hundred eighty million two thousand eleven dollars and soon young pilots are running test flights around the Nevada desert uh desert flight speed and altitude record are being secretly broken by the day basically
Starting point is 00:28:09 flight test mechanic Bob Murphy would later state there was absolutely no government meddling which enabled us to get the job done. There was only one man with any kind of serious oversight at area 51 and that was you know Richard Bizzle man Dickey Bizzle DB baby dickiz. Well, Dickie B felt that the U2 was the agency's best chance to get hard intelligence on the Soviet Union considering that one photograph could provide the agency with as much intel as approximately 10,000 spies down the ground. President Eisenhower put the CIA in charge of the overhead reconnaissance because as he later wrote, the aerial reconnaissance program needed to be handled in an unconventional way. What that meant was that the president, it was the president Eisenhower wanted the program to be black.
Starting point is 00:28:48 You know, wanted to be hidden from Congress and from everyone, but a select few who needed to know about it. He also wanted the YouTube to be piloted or excuse me, piloted by a man who didn't even wear a uniform. If a plane were a crash, he didn't want anyone to know, you know, where it came from. On November 16, 1955, the two gets assigned its first mission a Personnel transport flight carrying if airy 51 employees crashes Just south of airy 51 and just north of Las Vegas into the granite peak of Mount Charleston during a blizzard killing everyone on board an old dicky bee Oh, Bizzle be nizzle Had you two's dispatched from air Area 51 to help pinpoint the exact location of
Starting point is 00:29:26 the Air Force airplane in impromptu and unorthodox first mission triggered by tragic circumstances. The Las Vegas Review Journal reported that the crash was being kept secret because the men on board were likely nuclear scientists working on top secret weapons project at the Nevada test site. And then after they report that, no more reports. The reporters then suddenly stopped asking questions, probably after being contacted by the CIA. The truth about the crash at Mount Charleston, the single biggest loss of life for the YouTube program would remain hidden from the public until the CIA finally acknowledges the playing crash
Starting point is 00:29:58 in 2002. Well, as far as UFO lore goes, this is very interesting to me. As soon as the U2s started flying at Area 51 in 1955, beginning with that, you know, the first mission reports of UFO sightings by commercial airline pilots and air traffic controllers began to inundate CIA headquarters. A later painted black to blend it with the sky, the U2s at the time were silver, which meant that their long shiny wings reflected light down from the upper atmosphere in a way that led citizens all over California, Nevada and Utah, the thing that these planes were UFOs, of course they would think that. Again, as we said in the beginning, the altitude of the U2 alone was enough to be
Starting point is 00:30:38 wilder people. Commercial airplanes flew between 10 and 20,000 feet in the mid-1950s, usually around 12,000 feet, you know, where the U2 could fly as high as 70,000 feet. I mean, just, I mean, it's just little metallic spec way, way, way up in the air, way past where anybody assumes anything is able to even fly. You know, in the modern day, UFO craze officially began officially began as you guys know, if you've been listened to all the sucks on June 24th, 1947. This is this is this is a quick refresher on UFO lore that we examined in depth in both the men and black suck, you know, Neil bonus alien extravagant to suck, you know, by so
Starting point is 00:31:18 just just to just to establish the by 1955, you know, UFO mythology was was heavily ingrained into American culture. Because again, back in 1947, that search and rescue pilot Kenneth Arnold spotted nine flying discs speeding over Washington state, or so he claims, while he was out searching for a downed airplane in the approximately two weeks later. The crash at Roswell occurred, people are losing their minds, people are suddenly spotting UFOs all over the place, newspapers are reporting across the country, the US is demanding answers from the military. According to a CIA study on UFOs declassified in 1997, the Air Force had originally been
Starting point is 00:31:54 running two programs to look into UFO sightings. And we've talked about these before. One was covert, initially called a project saucer, later called Project Sign. Another was an over air force public relations campaign called project grudge. And the point of project grudge was to persuade the public that UFOs constituted nothing unusual or extraordinary. And to do this, the Air Force had to go on TV and some radio dismissing UFO reports.
Starting point is 00:32:18 Were they hiding real reports of actual sightings that? Well, I don't know. We'll get into that later in this episode. So 1956, meanwhile, across the world, the Russians are busy working on their own spy shit at their equivalent to Area 51. If Area 51 had a communist doppelganger, it was a remote top secret facility, 40 miles northeast of Moscow, called N-11-88, a weapons rocket and spacecraft center. Soviet scientists Sergei Korlev, or Korlev, was working on a project that would soon shame
Starting point is 00:32:50 American military science and propel the arms and space race into a sprint. In 1956, all the CIA knew of N-11-88 was that it was the place where Russia had kept dozens of its captured German scientists, toilin away on secret science projects. Working in this facility were roughly 400 German rocket scientists who had been working there for over a decade since they'd been captured in World War II. Well, President Eisenhower tells Russia in 1956 that the US will no longer fly spy planes over Russian airspace
Starting point is 00:33:17 and is lying his ass off when he says this. It's not true. YouTube planes would start flying missions. And at the time, the US believes their new Area 51 toy is invisible to Russian radar. So they feel very comfortable with this lie. Well, in July 3rd, 1956, old Dick Bizzle, D-Bizzle, Area 51 director, gives the signal
Starting point is 00:33:37 to start the first YouTube flight across Russian airspace. Pilot Herbysdokman took off a U2 from Wiesbotton, Wiesbotton, Germany, a little after 6am, and the U2's camera base.com transported a 500 pound high-con camera fitted with the most advanced photo lens ever devised in America up until that point. Says I was supposed to turn the camera's on when I reached Leningrad.
Starting point is 00:34:00 I was to fly along photographing the naval installations that there as well as a couple of airfields that were all part of what we had been led to believe might hold long-range Soviet bombers. But there were no long-range bombers to be found. The famous bomber gap, it turned out was false. Well, Stockman's photos made the CIA ecstatic. They were ecstatic to justify the entire YouTube program. As a flurry of top secret memos dated July 17th, 1956 revealed, one agent wrote, for the first time, we are really able to say that we have an understanding of what is going on in the Soviet Union.
Starting point is 00:34:34 However, despite Bizzle's assurances to the contrary, the U2s were tracked by the Soviets, air defense warning systems, from the moment they flew over the country. They hit those radar screens. Once the film from Stockman's flight was developed, CIA photo interpreters determined that the Soviet Soviet, excuse me, had attempted more than 20 interceptions of stockman's mission. When cruise chief learned that Eisenhower,
Starting point is 00:34:55 the Americans had betrayed him, cruise chief, he was furious. And Eisenhower didn't give a single fuck. His new toy was traceable, but untouchable. The land-based Soviet surface to air missiles could not get a shot up high enough to knock this airplane out of the sky. America's spy plane had flown over Russia with impunity. And if the fact became known, the Soviet Union was just going to look weak. So the Soviets aren't
Starting point is 00:35:18 going to say anything about this. They just have to sit back and take it. However, after a few more missions, Eisenhower does order the CIA to stop all flights, these big flights over the Soviet Union until further notice. They'd seen what he wanted to. They got the intel they wanted and he didn't feel like there was any need to continue to rattle the Russians. Well, back at Area 51, Dickie B is now worried that Eisenhower is going to shut down his program. They've ceased aerial surveillance missions and concerned that his program is going to be shut down by the president. He hires a team to analyze the probability of a Soviet shoot down to the U2 and the news is grim.
Starting point is 00:35:50 The Soviets were advancing their service to air missile technology so rapidly that in all likelihood within 18 months, they would be able to knock these new planes out of the sky. So damn it. So Bissell, he's like, all right, how do you fix this? He thinks about, you know, using some kind of radar hiding paint on the YouTube planes, but it won't work. Paint's heavy, the YouTube flew so high, partly because of how light it was.
Starting point is 00:36:12 The way to that paint, we know, we'll just drag the aircraft down, so D-bisile, or B-dizzle. Puts together a group of scientists who could make the CIA some radar absorbing paint. And these scientists who worked out of Harvard University and MIT, Lincoln Laboratory, created it by the winter of 1957 and then the U2 was painted with it. And then by 1957, according to the CIA's study called the CIA's role in the study of UFOs,
Starting point is 00:36:40 the U2s accounted for more than half of all UFO sightings reported in the continental United States. He hasn't been shut down. They're still flying at least domestically. Then they try to fly with this new paint in April of 57. Test pilot Robert Seeker, he takes one of the newly painted U2s up in the skies of Area 51 and it doesn't end well. Suddenly, the anti-radar detection paint they made in that lab causes the plane to overheat,
Starting point is 00:37:02 spin out of control and crash. He's able to eject but is killed when a piece of the spinning aircraft smashes him in the head. So so much for the new paint plan. It's not working. Bissled and designs a stop with YouTube production and design an all-new stealth plane. Just as Richard Bissled began presenting plans for his radical and ambitious new project to the president, a national security crisis overwhelms the country.
Starting point is 00:37:24 October 4th 1957, the Soviets launched the world's first satellite, 184 pound silver orb called Sputnik I. Now this was the secret that Surji, Korlev, had been working on at Area 51's Communist Oplganger, N-1188, the satellite launched. Met the Russians, now had a rocket with enough propulsion and guides to hit a target anywhere in the world. So, damn it, Bojangles just punched a hole in the wall to hotel room. Hearing about communist cold-roared vans is making so, he's making furious. Well, on March 27, excuse me, May 27, 1957, Area 51 is now less focused on stealth planes
Starting point is 00:37:57 for the moment, more focused on making very, very big bombs. You know, or being around this kind of big bomb project of Operation Plumbop. Operation Plumbop begins a series of nuclear tests carried out in the Nevada desert that will last until October 7th, and it will be the longest and most controversial series of weapon tests ever carried out in the continental US. It consisted of 29 nuclear detonations on US soil. Almost 1200 pigs were subjected to biomedical experiments and blast effects studies. Seriously, pigs were placed in elevated cages and provided with suits made of different
Starting point is 00:38:33 materials in the blast zones to test which materials provided the best protection from thermal radiation. Most of the pigs would survive the initial blast, but with third degree burns over 80% of their bodies. Fall out from some of the detonations, also killed some livestock grazing just outside the weapons testing facility. On July 5th, 1957, the biggest bomb was dropped. Security guard Richard Mingus, oh dick Ming, old dickie Ming was at the control point when the when the hood bomb went off, all 74 kilotons of it.
Starting point is 00:39:03 Almost immediately after the bomb's detonated, a call came in from Mingus's boss, a man by the name of Sergeant May, said there was a major security problem. The Atomic Energy Commission had forgotten the secure area 51. Hood was a 74 kilotun bomb six times bigger than the bomb dropped in Hiroshima. Remains the largest bomb ever exploded on continental US soil, the flash from the hood bomb visible from Canada to Mexico to 800 miles out to sea. The blast wave hit Area 51 with such force it buckled the metal doors on several of the West facing buildings.
Starting point is 00:39:36 This is just a fucking blast wave, including the maintenance hanger and supply warehouse, radioactive ash buried the area and just very harmful radiation. Bushes burned the sand after being subjected to 5,400 degrees Fahrenheit fused into little pieces of glass between the fallout and the structural damage area 51 becomes uninhabitable. Afterhood that once bustling, classified facility transforms into a ghost town overnight. Not unlike some little mining towns that have dotted that area a century before. So due to radiation levels, Area 51 is actually completely abandoned until 1959. And then late in the summer of 1959, 50 employees do return to begin work on a new spy plane.
Starting point is 00:40:23 Old Dickey Biz had a huge cold war boner over. In December of 1959, President Eisenhower briefed on the status of the new A-12 spy plane. He writes a hundred million dollar check to Lockheed from his discretionary funds for a fleet of 12 spy planes. The creation of this A-12 fleet is given the code name Oxcart. spy planes. The creation of this A12 fleet is given the codename OXCART. By January of 1960, Area 51 is now buzzing again as they're producing these A12s. And the A12, man, is a badass plane. Revolutionary, hugely forward in the evolution of flight. 8500 foot runway had to be created piece by piece because the A12 rendered standard Air Force runways just unusable. The Oxcar would fly five times as fast as the U-2, five times.
Starting point is 00:41:09 So the agency needed a lot more restricted air space as well, around Area 51 to test it. It was capable of flying at speeds over 2,200 miles per hour. An Oxcar pilot would actually need 186 miles swath of land just to make a U-turn over. So an additional 38,400 acres of land around the bases were withdrawn from public access, allowing the Federal Aviation Administration to extend restricted air space. From a 50 square mile box to a box,
Starting point is 00:41:35 440 square miles with A2, the concern continued to be stealth. The radar results from the poll tests were promising, but as the OXCAR advanced, so did Soviet countermeasures to shoot it down. Man, 220, excuse me, 2200 miles an hour. Man, the flight distance from LA to New York City, 2451 miles. Domestic flights take about five hours, flight time, to travel that distance.
Starting point is 00:41:59 This thing could get you there in a little over an hour, less time than it takes to actually drive across LA. Much less less actually. Four new aircraft hangers are built designated four, five, six, and seven. The former YouTube hangers whose metal doors had buckled in the atomic blast converted into maintenance facilities and machine shops. Dickie B is a tennis court put in. Thanks about having an Olympic sized swim pool put in. In the 1961, the whole Bay of Pigs nuclear fiasco with Cuba happens. An old Dickey B is blamed by President Kennedy for how it's mishandled and he's out.
Starting point is 00:42:32 But testing at Area 51 continues without him. On April 25th, 1962, the Oxcar is ready to fly. It had taken three years, 10 months and seven days from the time the plane was suggested to the president to be first official flight. And fly it does, man. A total of 2,850 Oxcar flights would be flown at an area 51 over a period of six years. And then in the mid 1960s, sightings if UFOs go up again, of course they do. They reach unprecedented levels. Because the A12, the Oxcar is being
Starting point is 00:43:00 repeatedly mistaken for UFO all over again. Now exactly how many of these flights generated UFO reports is not known, but the ones that prompted UFO sightings created the same kinds of problems with the CIA they had in the previous decade with the U2, only with elements that were seemingly even more inexplicable. Most Oxcars sightings came right after sunset when the lower atmosphere was shattered in dusk. Seventeen miles higher up, the sun though, is still shining brightly on the ox cart. So it looked like it's glowing.
Starting point is 00:43:30 The spy planes broad titanium wings, coupled with its triangle-shaped rear fuselage, reflects the sun's rays higher in the sky than any aircraft that was known to the time was able to fly. So again, it's gonna understandably cause alarm. 20 years in the American jet age in the mid 1960s, fears of unidentified fly-in object continued
Starting point is 00:43:48 to shape cultural thinking and spawn industries by the millions of Americans did correctly believe that various factions inside the US government were actively engaged in cover-ups regarding UFOs. However, it appears that they were covering up their own technology, not extraterrestrial technology. By May 1963, there were five working oxcarts test flying around Area 51. On May 24, 1963, a pilot named Ken Collins, codename iceman, bad-ass nickname.
Starting point is 00:44:18 Has a failure while in a test mission. He has to eject from his A12 and the multi-multimultimultimillion-dollar plane is destroyed in crash. Well, local ranchers find Collins-dollar plane is destroyed in the crash. Well local ranchers find Collins walking down the road after witnessing the crash until that moment, no civilian without a top security clearance had ever laid eyes on the ox cart. And then Collins has strict orders to keep it that way. So he'd been briefed over what to do in this kind of situation and give a cover story.
Starting point is 00:44:40 And he does. He tells the ranchers that his aircraft was an F-105 fighter jet had a nuclear weapon on board and then told him that this is not good, basically. I don't know, I don't know what's going on with that nuke. And the men just tell him that if he wants to ride the bit or jump in quick because they're not staying around this wind over area for long. Then they drop him off at a pay phone. He had a dime and a scrap of paper with a phone number and his pocket of his flight suit,
Starting point is 00:45:04 just in case of this scenario, what happened? So, he uses his dime, makes a phone call to his superior's intelligence in the bad news. Then in July 1963, an A12 pilot, Oxcarte pilot becomes the first person to hit mock three speeds over 2,300 miles per hour. In 1964, more nuclear testing occurs around Area 51. Between September 1961 and December 1964, a record breaking 162 bombs are exploded in Nevada
Starting point is 00:45:32 test site and site underground tunnels and shafts, nearly half of those explosions result in the accidental release of radioactivity into the atmosphere. Beginning in 1968, thanks to CIA documents remaining classified, what goes on in Area 51 starts to get very murky President Lyndon B. Big Dick Jumbo Johnson Has declared for the a12 oxcar project to be terminated as of January 1st, 1968 But supposedly the new man in charge of Area 51 CIA director Richard Helms Convinces him to use the plane's gather surveillance photos and Vietnam. Now, we, if that name sounds familiar, we learned about Helms in the project
Starting point is 00:46:10 MK Ultra Suck. He's the guy that ordered the MK Ultra documents to be destroyed in 1973. So he, he also made it continue this program. They made it, they might have just made it seem like it was being discontinued, but not. Let's believe by many that the A12 spy plane program and later versions of it not only continued in the 70s but continued to this day. Supposedly once the war on terror began in 2001 after the September 11th attacks, flight testing new drones, new very sophisticated drones, you know, at Area 51 and Area 52, now we're moving full speed ahead. And since the official record ends in 1968, so does today's time suck timeline.
Starting point is 00:46:52 Good job, soldier. You've made it back. Barely. So now that we know the major highlights of what we were able to piece together from from leak documents, declassified documents and interviews from former Area 51 employees, let's suck into the conspiracies that surround Area 51, the unofficial story. But before we do that, a quick word from today's sponsor. Time suck is brought to you today by Rayard and mother's sexy family lingerie boutique.
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Starting point is 00:48:21 Raiardon's family Laundry and sex toys, keeping parents overly involved in their adult children's sex lives since 1946. Okay, so let's just all pretend that that never happened and move back into Area 51, ailing conspiracies. A lot of today's Area 51 conspiracies can be traced back to the claims of one man, Harald O'Revara, a Harald O'Minekel Rivera host of the talk show, Harald O'Revara, Harald O'Michael Rivera, host of the talk show, Harald O' that ran from 87 to 98, he claimed that he went undercover, getting employed at a custodial firm
Starting point is 00:48:52 hired to clean Area 51 hangers. He was able to sneak a hidden camera in and capture some grainy footage of what may or may not be extra terrestrial life. I'm kidding. Harald O'Revara did not sneak an Area 51. A former pro wrestler, the ultimate warrior did. No. Most Area 51 conspiracies can be traced back to Robert Scott Lazare, Bobby Scott,
Starting point is 00:49:14 Bobino Scatino. But did Bobby Scott even work there? I'm going to tell you his tale and then you can decide. In May of 1989, this is this is the story where most of today's Area 51 lore originates. May of 1979, a soft spoken, bespeckled 30-year-old native Floridian, already suspicious to me, from Florida. A lot of cookie shit comes out of our name, Robert Scott Lizar, appears on eyewitness news in Las Vegas with an investigative reporter named George Napp, and reveals Area 51 secrets to the world at large. Out of the tens of thousands of people who had worked at Area 51 over the years, Lazar was the only individual to break the oath of the silence in such a public way. Now Bob Lazar claims he wound up at Area 51 after getting a job
Starting point is 00:49:59 referral by nuclear or from nuclear physicist Dr. Edward Teller. Teller co-invented the world's most powerful weapon of mass destruction, the thermonuclear bomb tested many incarnations of his diabolical creation, just a few miles over the hill from Area 51, in the numbered sectors that make up the Nevada test site. Now, I say claimed, because Nellis Air Force Base, who currently administers Area 51, as well as the Los Alamos National Laboratories, another place Lazara claimed
Starting point is 00:50:26 who had worked as a scientist, both deny Lazara worked for them. Now, Lazara claims that his records of his employment as a scientist were erased to discredit him. And his in to Area 51, this Dr. Teller, a man who was a noted nuclear physicist, when questioned about Lazara, didn't recall meeting him ever.
Starting point is 00:50:46 He did say, I probably met him. I might have said to somebody, I met him, and I liked him after I met him if I liked him, but I don't remember him. To me, that quote sounds like a nice guy, a nice guy who doesn't want to hurt the feelings of someone he may have met, someone who is claiming to have met him,
Starting point is 00:51:03 but who has no idea who this person is. Well, supposedly in December 1988, Lazar is brought to Area 51 for the first time. According to Lazar, the first day he's at Area 51, he's driven on a bumpy dirt road for approximately 20, 30 minutes before arriving in a mysterious complex of hangars built into the side of a mountain, somewhere on the outskirts of this dry groomed lake bed. hangers built into the side of a mountain, somewhere on the outskirts of this dry groomed lake bed. Well, Lazar was stationed in a section called S4, he said, and he was processed through a security system, far more intense than the one he'd been subjected to
Starting point is 00:51:32 a little earlier, at Area 51's primary base. So now he's in like the secret part of the secret base. He's in the most secret part of the secret base. He signed one document, allowing his home number, telephone number to be monitored, another one to wave his constitutional rights. They he was shown a flying saucer. Of course he was. And he was told it would be his job to reverse engineer its anti-gravity propulsion system. Of all the scientists in the world, this guy, this guy, no one's heard of Bobby Lazar. He's gonna be the one to do it out of everyone.
Starting point is 00:52:06 Out of everyone, oh Bobby Scatel, Barbino Scatino, he's a guy that's a getter done. And so he told this and he told that there are nine saucers at S4, according to the Lazar over the following winter, he works at S4 mostly during the night for a total of only approximately 10 days. He claimed that the work was intense but sporadic. Sometimes he worked like one night a week.
Starting point is 00:52:29 He never, he never told anybody about what he's doing at S4 not even his wife trace. He was best friend Jean Huff. One night in early March of 1989, Lazar is being escorted down a hallway inside S4 by two armed guards when he was ordered to keep his eyes forward. Instead curiosity sees his eyes forward. Instead, Curiosity sees his bobbler's arm. He glances sideways through a small nine by nine inch window. And for a brief moment, he says he saw inside an unmarked room and sees a small gray alien with a large head standing between two man dressed in white coats.
Starting point is 00:52:58 Okay. Uh-huh. So yeah, I'm having a lot of problems with this story. And it bothers me that this guy is like heralded in certain UFO kind of circles. Like he's like the guest of honor or big conventions. It's like just think about this story for a second out of all the scientists that think it positively. Fine, they find this guy that I'll soon feel you
Starting point is 00:53:25 in that basically no one's heard of. And okay, let's say he is heard of. Let's say he is a notice scientist. Why would he be brought in and then just like only, like he's immediately like, hey man, your job is to do like the most important shit military wise that anyone's ever done. Figure out how to reverse engineer this anti-gravity system,
Starting point is 00:53:43 figure out how to like have our, you know, our military flying machines not in gravity. But then we're only going to let you work everyone's to well. We're like, you're going to work like one day this week and then another day this week. That doesn't make any fucking sense. Like, just give a normal working schedule. And then also, I love detail of okay we're gonna walk. We're gonna walk you down this hallway. And instead of just fucking blindfolding you, which would be the easiest and obvious thing to do, if you don't want somebody to see something, if it's really important for them not to see, I don't know, a fucking alien. Instead, you don't do that. Oh no, no, no, you don't do that. You just tell him, hey, man, direct orders, just eyes ahead. Don't look to the side. That is, that's
Starting point is 00:54:31 dumb. Okay. Anyway, he says this encounter is a turning point for him. He said something shifted and he, and he felt, and he felt he could no longer bear the secret of the flying saucers. What was an alien? He felt compelled to share what he learned with his wife and his friend. And then he breaks his area 51 secrecy oath and then he claims it So he knew the schedule for flying saucer test flights Being conducted out on groom like where they had the test range runway and he suggests to his wife tracing his buddy gene And this other guy named John Lear Who is a committed uphologist and the son of the man who invented the Lear jet bill bill layer
Starting point is 00:55:03 Oh man, I'm sure Bill before he passed was super proud of his son becoming a fucking wacky doodle-phologist and the son of the man who invented the Learjet bill bill Lear oh man I'm sure Bill before he passed was super proud of his son becoming a fucking wacky doodle u-phologist bull is are claims that they that he brought high-power binoculars and a video camera waited and then watched the ufos fly around and by the way I'm not against ufos I'm actually a believer in ufos I just can't stand some of these stories okay Okay, so Lazarus, what wife and friends, they see what appear to be a brightly lit saucer rise up from above the mountains that hid the Area 51 base from view. They watched it hover in land the following Wednesday they return to the sites and then they make a third visit on April 5, 1989. This time down a long road leading to the
Starting point is 00:55:41 you know the base called the Grum Lake Road, which ended in them being discovered by area 51 security guards detained and arrested. And now check this out. And then so, okay, he gets, he brings his wife and two people, two buddies into a highly classified base, gets detained, gets arrested. This happens one night on April 5th. And then he says he returns to work the next day, like nothing happened. And then supposedly he's arrested by someone the next day. No, no, I'm not arrested. So he's supposed to arrest the night before returns to work the next day quickly release
Starting point is 00:56:15 somehow. Then just goes back to work on the following morning. This makes zero sense. Like for me, I just call bullshit on the whole story. Get the fuck out of here. Really, take the top secret maximum security clearance aspect out of the story. Just imagine getting arrested by someone who works for your company. Imagine for whatever reason, you sneak into your company's offices or headquarters one night and then you get arrested for trespassing for you not supposed to be there at that time at least or you bring people that aren't supposed to be there. Just break into your company. And then you not supposed to be there at that time at least or you bring people that aren't supposed to be there like just into the use break into your company and and then you head back to work the next day as if nothing happened when has that ever happened ever
Starting point is 00:56:55 like as if word of your arrest when you're caught by another fucking employee is not going to reach your boss you know like there's never going to be like, uh, hey, Bob, what are you doing? Well, I just had no work on the spaceship. Why do you ask? Did you by chance forget that you were arrested last night? Oh, you heard about that? Yeah, Bob, I heard. You were arrested here, Bob.
Starting point is 00:57:19 I was talking about it with the head of security in the break room a few minutes ago. We can't believe you showed up. There's not even a hundred employees here, Bob. How did you think I would notice? Okay, and if you would have been arrested, they would have realized, like the night before, that he was an employee when they checked his ID,
Starting point is 00:57:33 and they would have taken away his security clearance. I mean, this is supposed to be the most highly secured military base in the United States, and they don't know the dude, they just arrested, is one of the guys who is assigned the most important task of reverse engineering, the UFO anti-gravitational technot, dude, they just arrested is one of the guys who is assigned the most important task of reverse engineering, the UFO anti-gravitational tech knot, like give me a break. But he's sticking to the story.
Starting point is 00:57:52 Bob claims he was met by supervisor Dennis Moroni or Mariani who informed Lazar that he would not be going out to the room like that day. His plan instead he would be driven to Indian Springs Air Force Base, the guard who caught in the night before helicopter didn't from the area 51 perimeter confirms that Bob Lazar was one of the four people snooping in the woods the night before and then he's told he's fired. Uh huh. Yeah, I bet.
Starting point is 00:58:14 Hey, Bob, look, you've been really good at figuring out the whole UFO technology, but we were very clear when we hired you to work random days that make no sense. You know, this is highly classified information. So while it wouldn't make more sense to court marshal you and put you in prison for fucking treason, we're gonna let you go. We're just gonna let you go and hope you don't talk about this on TV. Well, after getting fired, Lazar became convinced he was being followed by government agents and then he claimed someone shot out his tire when he's driving to the airport.
Starting point is 00:58:40 Uh-huh. So let me get this right. So they weren't smart enough to initially realize that the guy they arrested working to place to arrest him for trespassing on. The guy that they were so unconcerned with this guy when they just let him go after firing him. But now they're shooting his tires out. Okay.
Starting point is 00:58:57 Well, fearing for his life, Bob decides to go public with a story. And then Lazar's TV appearance in November of 1989 broke the station's record for viewership, but the original audience is limited to people in the Vegas area. It would take months for Lazar's story to go global. The man responsible for that happening was a Japanese American mortician living in Los Angeles named Noreo Haikawa.
Starting point is 00:59:18 Because you know what? Because why not? Why not introduce a Japanese mortician to this wacky little story? Hayakawa Here's Lazar story on a late night radio show Aaron in Los Angeles I'm guessing it's probably our bells am coast coast. Have you no television experience? Hayakawa contacts a Japanese magazine called Moo
Starting point is 00:59:37 Renowned for its popular stories about UFOs. He'd later say Moo got in touch with me right away and said they were interested and then Neapon TV was interested as well. Well, in a matter of weeks, Japan's leading TV station had dispatched an eight-man crew from Tokyo to Los Angeles. Hayakawa takes him to Las Vegas to do an interview with Bob Azar who convinces them to try and film some of the flying saucer activity to Area 51. So he must not be that concerned about the government following. Hayakawa asks Azar if he would take them to the lookout point on Tikaboo Mountain
Starting point is 01:00:05 of Highway 375. He does decline. He is a little scared. He tells them exactly where to go though. And then they say they went to the place and set up their equipment. Low and behold, just after sundown, a bright, orn just light came rising up off the land near Grum Lake. Hayakawa showed the footage to the magazine's bosses in Japan who were thrilled.
Starting point is 01:00:22 The TV station had paid Lazar over $5,000 for a two hour segment about his experience there, 51. And then the program is aired on Primetime TV in Japan and 30 million Japanese viewers turn in to an in. And then Lazar's story after his Japanese airwaves goes worldwide. And then people start scrutinizing his story, looking into his life and well, that's not good for Bob's credibility. First off, Lazare claims that he had degrees from MIT
Starting point is 01:00:49 in Caltech. Nope, neither institution has a record of his attendance. Stanton Friedman, prominent uFologist, actual retired nuclear physicist, was able to verify that Lazare took electronics courses in the late 1970s, not at MIT, not at Caltech, but at Pierce, Jr. College. It's a little different, which is slightly different. It's an LA.
Starting point is 01:01:12 And at the same, he took these classes at the same time, he was supposedly attending MIT in Massachusetts. So I don't think there's ever been someone who's simultaneously went to Pierce, Jr. College and also MIT. He further determined that Lazar had graduated from high school in the bottom third of his class, bottom third, and that the only science course he took was chemistry. So other uphologists are now calling this guy out, not a good sign. The stand by the way opened to believing in some pretty extreme stuff.
Starting point is 01:01:40 He's not a real skeptic. He's a big believer in the roswell crash actually being an alien spaceship crash now if you listen to my alien extravaganza suck you know that i don't believe that uh... i came to the conclusion that it was in fact a weather blue but uh... even stanton even the guy who believes in aliens are roswell doesn't believe aliens were taken from roswell to arie fifty one which which makes no sense by the way because arie fifty one wasn't a fucking
Starting point is 01:02:02 thing until nineteen fifty five roswell happened in 1947. So how was the alien taken to a place that didn't exist yet? Now, anyway, Stan believes that Lazar graduated in the bottom third of his class, which would certainly exclude him from MIT. MIT usually takes like the top one or two percent. Even out of those, they take people who have taken a lot of science courses, Friedman believes that Lazar lied about attending Caltech.
Starting point is 01:02:26 Yeah, no professors remember Lazar. He was not in any year books. There was no records of him attending. He could not remember the year he even obtained his master's there. He was a member of no professional bodies. And MIT has confirmed there's no way to expunge someone from their records. Numerous other researchers not been able to find any records supporting his claims of having received degrees. Even worse, no researcher can find anyone
Starting point is 01:02:48 who claims to have even seen him ever at either place. One man does claim he tracked down a scientist who worked at Los Alamos Laboratories with Bob. Supposedly, this guy Jeremy Corbal, a documentary filmmaker who I watched videos of on YouTube, he has several films in the works, one of them with Lazar about Lazar, the man behind the, he's a man behind the website
Starting point is 01:03:08 extraordinarybeliefs.com, and he says that he used some innovative research techniques to find a witness willing to go on record to say that they were working with Bob at one of the facilities he claims. Little conflict of interest here though, the dude who makes aliens have landed type documentaries, the man who's trying to sell a film about shipping found it, you know, Area 51 with Bob Lazar is saying that he magically is proven that Lazar is telling the truth.
Starting point is 01:03:34 Very convenient. Corbell says in researching Lazar's claims he used software that can run automated tasks over the internet to search Facebook for keywords. His bot found him in a comment in a Facebook group from a man who said his neighbor claimed to have worked with Lazar. And then Corbell got in contact with this man who eventually got him in touch with the neighbor who turns out to be a legitimate physicist that Corbell was able to confirm did work
Starting point is 01:03:57 at Los Alamos Laboratories. Corbell asked the physicist, this man supposedly named Dr. Robert Crangle if he would be willing to go public with his claims. The guy said yes, and now there's audio, no video, but audio recording of Dr. Crangle confirming he worked with Bob Lazar. But here's the thing, I have googled every variation of Dr. Robert Crangle, I can think of Dr. Crangle, MIT, Dr. Crangle Los Alamos, Dr. Crangle Area 51, you know, just Dr. Crangle, like whatever Robert Crangle, Bob Crangle, I even tried alternate spellings of the last name Crangle.
Starting point is 01:04:33 Nothing. The only shit that comes up is the Corbell audio interview posted in 2015 or articles on various uFology type websites, citing or embedding this one interview. It all just comes back to the same interview every single time. Beyond fishy. Do you understand how rare it is in 2018 to not show up on the web? Just to test this, I googled my about to turn 86 year old grandfather, Ward Hall, a man who has never posted a single thing online, a man who has literally never owned a computer. He's never had a laptop. He's never had a desktop.
Starting point is 01:05:09 He's never had an iPad. He has no internet service at his house. He does have an iPhone that he only knows how to work the weather app on and make phone calls. He does not have text. He's never had an email address ever. He's never had a social media account. He doesn't even really understand what social media is.
Starting point is 01:05:25 He knows I have a podcast, but it doesn't know what a podcast is. The last time we talked, he asked me how my podcast writing job was going. He asked me how the writing was going. Apparently, he thinks I just email you guys shit every week. And info came up about my grandpa online immediately. Whitepages.com, familytree.com, or excuse me, familytreenow.com, even no Bituary reference, which fucking kind of pissed me off. Look, I know he's old internet, but he's not dead yet.
Starting point is 01:05:51 You fucking bloodthirsty jackals. But nothing on Dr. Robert Crangle, supposed important nuclear scientist. Uh-huh. If any one of you listened to Game of Your Last Name, or I'm excuse me your name, company you worked at, title like, you know, a doctor. If you have one in the school, you got a degree from something would come up every time.
Starting point is 01:06:09 Something. I did find a Bob Crangle, an IT specialist living in Dallas, looks to be about 60 years old and guess what's not on his resume. Anything we're talking about today, definitely not MIT. He listed his education, which I love as the School of Hard Knocks. And there's more problems with Bob's credibility. In 1990, Lazar was arrested for 18 and a betting in prostitution ring. This was reduced to felony pandering to which he pleaded guilty.
Starting point is 01:06:33 He was ordered to do 150 hours of community service, stay away from brothels, and order to undergo psychotherapy. So he doesn't see mentally stable. And this supposed scientist was listed as being self-employed film processor on bankruptcy documents he doesn't hold up to even being remotely credible you know i mean you you could you could do the whole like this is what the government wants you to think they've raised all his records around but come on how do you explain not one person
Starting point is 01:06:57 that we can verify as existing verifying any of his claims the government is not able in the information age to reach everybody around someone. I don't think. Other lesser known ufologists have also made Area 51 alien claims. You know, there's claims of like, that's where the moon landing was faked in the Area 51 facility.
Starting point is 01:07:17 Those ones are so ridiculously not credible. They're not even worth sharing. Like, they're like 100% complete maniac wacko doodle. There is a recent one, a recent kind of fun claim of Area 51, alien stuff made by a man, supposedly named Robert Miller. Now, Robert claims he was selected to be a pilot in a secret government program at the Area 51 Crume Lake facility, and when he arrived on his first day for work
Starting point is 01:07:43 in the middle of the night, he was met by the men in black. He was soon informed to be a test pilot on a new aircraft reverse engineered from alien craft that crashed in 1947. Of course, the Rosswell saucer. In a 19, or excuse me, 2017, you know, I would say interview, but I guess it's more of like a, it's more of like a fucking wacky doodle Ted talk. Just a video of him with a weird spacey backdrop and the worst sound ever.
Starting point is 01:08:09 Like if you think today's episode sounds bad, it is however it comes out and it's a million times better than the sound quality of this thing. It's this weird shitty green screen space backdrop. And he says, I do remember they brought me inside the craft and up to the pilot seat. There was only room for one person in the giant craft. I looked around the cockpit and only saw a seat, no joystick, no steering wheel, no other controls. There was, however, a helmet.
Starting point is 01:08:32 I guess, conveniently, fed a human being. They told me the craft was controlled telepathically. I was told to imagine the craft starting to float off the ground, but it didn't work. Instead I had to imagine that I was the craft, like part of it. And I began thinking to myself floating off the ground and I felt the vibrations. I was 500 feet off the ground, then the vibrations of the engine stopped. There was no ejection button on the craft. I was effectively helpless. It was plunging towards the ground and I went unconscious. The next thing I knew, I was in the hospital. A man in the black suit came in and explained to me
Starting point is 01:09:05 what had happened. He said, right before the craft at the ground, it just went boom, disappeared. Then he said the man in black told him this, then in the middle of the night, they heard a loud crashing noise outside. The craft had crashed in the same spot. The scientists had hypothesized that the craft had time traveled.
Starting point is 01:09:22 Man, oh Robert is really making me want to do some LSD right now. Like man, what a fun trip he went on. That's amazing, what an adventure. Man a blacker talking to him, of course he did. If you're new listener, we just did a suck on the man in black and men in black lore. Eh, it doesn't hold up very well under scrutiny. So who is this Robert Miller character?
Starting point is 01:09:40 Well, out of all the qualified pilots in the United States, why was he chosen to fly a flying saucer? Well, you can watch the video if you want where he discloses all of the secrets on YouTube I'm going to put a link in today's episode description because it is very entertaining Miller claims he was selected to be a pilot in the secret government program at Area 51. He said his father worked at Area 51. He said his dad was an aerospace engineer and that he grew up in a small southern Nevada town. Well, his dad worked at the base. There's no record of this that I can find anywhere on my. Said his dad worked late hours
Starting point is 01:10:12 and could never tell the family he did for his job. Says his dad taught him to fly in an early age and then he was a licensed pilot 15. Says he went into the Marine course, the pilot. And then his own quotes, he says he became one of the top pilots in the Marine. In the Marines, excuse me. And then at age 28, his own quotes, he says, he became one of the top pilots in the Marine, in the Marines, excuse me. And then at age 28, even though he's a top pilot,
Starting point is 01:10:30 he decides to leave the core, but then gets a letter that says classified, dressed to him, and finds out he's been chosen to be a test pilot at the groom-like test facility, aka Area 51. Then he talks about being taken to the base in the middle of the night, about meeting the men in black, who take him deep underground inside the base lock him in a tiny room. They lock him
Starting point is 01:10:49 in a tiny room with a desk of bed and some weights for exercise. Well, stuff. And then they tell him he'll be living there for two months. And then they lock him in. And then he and then he reads a manual in the desk that says a bunch of shit about every 51 including that the the only way to get one of the 1200 class five positions on the base is to be recommended by an insider. So he assumes his now retired dad must have given him a reference, which makes no sense. It's going to invite your son to be locked into an underground room. Then he gets into stuff I already told you about with a flying saucer, the stuff he'd said earlier.
Starting point is 01:11:19 Well, just like Dr. Robert Crangle earlier, I can't find shit online about this guy, about this top Marine Corps pilot, Robert Miller, other than this one video. And just visually, he does not pass this mail test for me. I watch this guy, and I would not buy anything this guy selling. He reminds me of a thousand other bullshit artists I've met before, some dude, desperate for attention. I've had the privilege of meeting a lot of active
Starting point is 01:11:44 and former military, and he doesn't remind me of any of them. He does remind me of a lot of wannabes who share a bunch of weird war stories that you know they're just fucking made up, you know they're never in the service. He doesn't seem to be even remotely credible to me. I wouldn't buy a car or a life insurance for me. I wouldn't give him a ride if I saw him hitchhiking.
Starting point is 01:12:01 If he started talking to me to bar, I pretend to get a phone call and just to get the hell away from him. He looks like the kind of guy who would knock on your door and then try to sell you some fucking weird vitamins or some shit. You know, when my kids were younger, there was no way I would leave them in a daycare if he was working there.
Starting point is 01:12:15 He actually reminds me of an older version of the dude, I based my pathological liar stand up bit on, the Rick Bitt, years ago, the Slapper Sammon, Puncher Bear. You a bear You know easy Robert Miller easy. That's just what I think there's a lot of comments under his interview video That has almost a million views and most of them disagree with me and let's find out what the idiots of the internet think about Robert Miller And again, I do apologize for the sound quality in my voice. Just, no, nothing I can do. So, hopefully I'm intelligible today. Under Robert's video, one of the first to post is Gabriel Soto. He posts something that I was thinking.
Starting point is 01:13:00 He says, they teach you how to use an alien spaceship a day before you use it. Okay. Very believable. That's one of his claims. It's taken there one day, very next day. They're putting the helmet on and letting him fly it with mind control. Appreciate the sarcasm, Gabriel. Noted and enjoyed. Well, um, excuse me, I can't get my throat to clear. User Hindu Kush doesn't appreciate it and posts, uh, yeah,
Starting point is 01:13:22 because they don't want any bullshit. Are you fucking stupid? Not everyone's brain works the same. No, Hindu Kush. Gabriel Soto isn't stupid. He's logical. You on the other hand, first impression is that you're real dumb dumb, right? What do you talk?
Starting point is 01:13:34 No, it doesn't make any sense. What they're saying? Well, well, Moonie's urban farm also doesn't like Gabriel's logic. He posts Gabriel Soto. That would be standard procedure for the highest security clearance. Remember, he was not just one of the best, he was one of the best of the best. Fly at an early pilot, no fly at early age pilot
Starting point is 01:13:52 by 15 and in the Marine Corps, best of the best. Yes, so he says, you know, urban farm, no evidence of that. Do you just accept every thing that people say at face value, man, you are a salesman's dream. Just, you know, just, I want you to take a look at this aqua marine 1993 Geometro hatchback, a stick shift.
Starting point is 01:14:13 No frills. Sure, it has over 350,000 miles on it. And if someone re-rends you, you may explode. However, it is the fastest car on the market, barely street legal. It'll do 500 miles an hour in second gear. Michael Jordan was the original owner before he sold it to Tom Brady before he sold it to Wiz Khalifa, who shared it with Kanye West.
Starting point is 01:14:32 It's valued at $3 million, but unless you have it for 50 Gs, it is the best of the best of the best, wrapped in a blanket of best, stuck in a best hole, and then eaten by a best monster. Let's sign some paperwork. How do you know what standard operating procedure would be? Vegas odds put you at a greater chance of living in your mom's basement
Starting point is 01:14:52 than having top level of security clearance, some top level. There's no way you don't talk about. Spence remix also does not care for Gabriel's logic. He posts, Gabriel's Soto, there is not much to it, LOL. Put a helmet on and think, that's it. What's so hard about that? Some people are just ignorant. Yeah, some people are like you. Space, spends remix, you fucking ignorant. Oh my god. I love, I love, it's easy. You just put a helmet on and think the men in black were very clear
Starting point is 01:15:22 about that. Okay, well, that's true. Then why go through the trouble of bringing in some off-base pilot, you dumb shit? They have a base full of people, capable of flying, the most sophisticated spy planes in the world. Think about the A12. You know what we're talking about, you know? People already operating out of Area 51. If you just put the helmet on and think,
Starting point is 01:15:41 well, like, why didn't one of those guys do it, you know? You need a helmet that you can put on that allows you to critically think for the first time in your entire life. Please, I gotta hope you're a kid. Please don't be a grown-up who has kids and has raised them to be like you and who is voting and stuff. And then after about 15 more people just pile on and make fun of Gabriel for being logical because this part of the internet has become a giant pile of virtual turds.
Starting point is 01:16:08 Then, oh, then, this is awesome. Wackadoodle gibberish battle breaks out in the thread between Vio Vortex and Sai Ava Bell. I love it. I love it when people argue over something that no one can prove. Like get into a heated debate. But when both people act as if what they know is common knowledge and it's complete
Starting point is 01:16:29 gibberish. A vortex starts by posting, actually, there are many dimensions others further are time, not space as hypothesized. It is impot, it's very hard to read because of the weird sentence structure. It is impossible for a third dimensional character such as us to view a fourth dimensional character and etc. If the Roswell activity did happen and they were from another dimension, the universe as we now will seize to exist. Okay? Incredible. Complete and utter insanity, presented as fact. Hello, dimensions are further people, they're further, whatever that means.
Starting point is 01:17:16 You can't be third dimensional and talk to fourth dimensional characters. Our universe would delete itself. Well, Sai Avibel doesn't agree with vortex's mumbo jumble and post Vio vortex. Hey, man. All Ileans aren't for D I think he means aliens Hey, man. All aliens aren't for D some use for the device to control it and the Roswell Ileane group made to control it and the Roswell Eileen group made exchange with our government for copper copper so important for aliens, but we can't normally see 3D aliens aliens because they use telekinesis and appeared as humans for our eyes. I love the attitude.
Starting point is 01:18:04 Hey man, hey man, hey look bro, bro, bro, aliens need copper. Can we at least create on that? I mean, we do all know that aliens love copper. That's one of one aliens shit man, copper, of course, but they're not all 4D. You have to see that. Some use a 4D device. Here, Come on. Just read this barely legible 500 page manifesto that I wrote during my last math binge Well, Vio vortex comes back with an even greater level of madness
Starting point is 01:18:36 saying Say avabel high. I wanted to remind you that I love the logic some people have high. I wanted to remind you that I love the logic some people have. Hi, I wanted to remind you that it is physically impossible for aliens to have faces because they did not evolve on earth. What in the fuck are these people talking about? I want to remind you, like as if they've talked about this before. And he's he's, he's tired of him not remember, dude, we've talked about this before and he's he's he's tired of him not remember dude We've talked about this so many times aliens on faces. He says our DNA is stimulated to support our habitat and our star
Starting point is 01:19:12 If you bring an alien on to earth It's DNA could be similar or Completely different. That doesn't really make a good case. Listen buddy If you bring an alien here. Yeah, this could work or not could work. It could be anything. He says, there is a fish with a transparent head here on Earth. Its DNA is about 25% difference than ours is DNA. If aliens came to Earth, we would not stand a chance at all.
Starting point is 01:19:41 If they have the amount of intelligence to create a spaceship that can leave its home solar system and get to ours in a matter of time. We can be enslaved right now. I love that they don't follow the point that the person previous to them made. They just have like pre-loaded wackadoodle thoughts that they've been thinking about. In this occlusion of their bedroom or basement or attic or fucking cage, I don't know where these people live, but they've just been mullin' this shit over in their, you know, poorly functioning brains just over and over. And then they just wait for like kind of an end to throw it. Like he's been thinking about the no faces shit for years.
Starting point is 01:20:27 And then it doesn't really pertain to this conversation like at all. And then he acts as if it does. Hey man, remember about the faces thing? No, no, remember because no one has ever talked about that other than you. Um, I love that these two clowns really prepare to be serious about the shit. Listen, Si, before we go further down the wrong path, let me remind you, for starters, that aliens don't have faces.
Starting point is 01:20:49 Yes, of course they need copper. I fucking, yeah, I know that. You didn't even have to say that. That's insulting. You had to remind me. Look, I didn't just beam down from a spaceship yesterday. However, they can't have faces. So, I mean, if you think about it that way,
Starting point is 01:21:02 we could be enslaved any day. Well, Si Avabel finds vortex is logic laughable, which would make me like him if he wasn't equally full of shit. He posted VO vortex, LOL. So you assume anything not on earth don't have faces. Ha ha ha. Actually, islands are the one made us. And currently there are about 14 islands groups on Earth.
Starting point is 01:21:28 Not all islands are bad or good. Every group have their own needs. Example, Greggs, they lost reproduce system, cause of radiation. And they hear for our DNA since it's some what matched them. Greggs are hostile race And there are other races who protect us, but as you said we can't see islands They just appear humans to our eyes because of tell us this power
Starting point is 01:21:57 Which makes brain see them as they want bro Aliens made us they made us, come on man, there's 14 different kinds, they all have faces kind of, they have telekinesis faces onto themselves. For mating DNA, please read the 800 page blog post. I wrote when I was involuntarily committed to a mental health facility.
Starting point is 01:22:20 And then these jackass just keep at it. And both of them, both of them need to stop watching alien videos. And they need to start watching Ted docs They need to take some online courses just from any place any place is somewhat legitimate the institution of learning A nitten Sony post. He's definitely truth. I feel because of body language and I don't know why Okay I feel because of body language and I don't know why. Uh, okay. God, man, some of these people are,
Starting point is 01:22:46 these people, ah, I bet you most, these people can fucking vote. Oh my God, think about this person, how the brain works. No evidence needed. No need to look at any of the claims. No need to Google search, you know, any of the credibility of any stuff.
Starting point is 01:22:57 He has the right body language. So, you know, everything he says has to be true. For a second, I thought user, man user mandoon was not a moron, but then I made it to the end of his post and I realized I was sadly mistaken. He posts, he's so foolish yet, you can tell he's fake, he even say it create wormholes which allow you to travel near the speed of light. Surely it would allow you to travel faster, absolute rubbish. So much nonsense. So many arrogant fools who shit on each other for believing a nonsense then revealed that their truth is equally unverifiable nonsense. Just a
Starting point is 01:23:29 cacophony of absurd absurdity, right? This guy's full of shit, man. Clearly UFOs fly faster than the speed of light. I mean, gone. I mean, the fucking need copper. They'd use the copper to fly faster than the speed of light and then that's what I don't have faces. Everybody knows this. Okay, one more User team-acc, let's me exit the thread on a nice laugh. He posts History isn't bullshit, and it's given me the courage to tell my story in 1996 I tried mushrooms. I also saw some crazy shit. That's all I can remember Perfect team-acc well done. Well done. I feel like
Starting point is 01:24:07 you and I would get along beautifully. And that is all I have for this week's very entertaining in my opinion idiots of the internet. All right. So what's going on at Area 51, man, who the hell knows? It's top secret and it should be. Our government, keeping secrets, does not bother me one bit. Is this scary world? Talk to somebody who's been to Syria, Iraq, Afghanistan, I have, I've talked to tons of soldiers and former soldiers,
Starting point is 01:24:39 and also a fair amount of immigrants from the Middle East during my travels. I talked to Lindsey and I actually had a great conversation with an Uber driver a while back who his, him and his family just moved from Iraq a few years ago and it was interesting. He had a very like interesting immigration stance. He was like, don't man, we gotta, we gotta fucking not let too many people in. He just talked about life being hell because of just of all the terrorism and all the chaos
Starting point is 01:25:03 in the country he lived in. You know, I've talked to Africans from various war-torn African nations, talked to people from unstable East when European nations, I've read too many articles, watched too many interviews, and documentaries from horrible living conditions, situations, and Asia, South, and Central America. You know, there are some truly terrible governments out there. Nations run by some really bad people,
Starting point is 01:25:23 far worse than anything we deal with in America today, far worse. And it is in our best interest to weapon up and protect ourselves from the future possibility of some insane foreign regime trying to take what we have here. And to stay ahead of the enemy, yeah, you got to hide what you're working on. You know, revealing it is like playing poker and always showing the entire table your hand every time you make a bet. Try one in the World Series of poker that way. A little harder to bluff if everyone else knows you have a king and a two of spades and then the flop is ace two and three of diamonds. Or actually better, I guess, ace three and five of diamonds.
Starting point is 01:25:57 You know, it's like, is the government working on a secret weapon system now? You know, possibly. You know, if they're not working on them in Area 51, I hope they're working on them somewhere because you can bet you're asked some other countries are working on their secret weapons programs. Are there aliens and UFOs and men in black at Area 51? I mean, maybe, yes, sure. I mean, maybe in the sense that I've never been there and I don't have access to the highest levels of classified documentation so I can't say for certain, but I do not believe any
Starting point is 01:26:22 of the current claims that there is. Everything I looked into has been terrible, at least to me personally. So let's review the claims I've laid out today and actually look into one more interesting one in today's Top 5 takeaways. Number one, Area 51 is created in 1955 in the middle of the Nevada desert. In addition to the Nevada test and training range where nuclear testing would start being carried out in the 1950s, it's created to develop and test spy planes.
Starting point is 01:26:53 Number two, when the U2 spy planes are flown for the first time in 1955, UFO sightings explode in the area around the base, which makes sense. The plane can fly up to 70,000 feet when most civilian aircraft is flying around 12,000 feet when the nation's bestie classified military planes are maxed not around 40,000 feet. To most eyes, the U2 truly was, and identified, an unidentified flying object. Number 3. The development of Area 51 was created in the wake of the Atomic Energy Act of 1946, which itself was created in the wake of the Manhattan Project.
Starting point is 01:27:24 And it was this act that gave birth to the concept of 1946, which itself was created in the wake of the Manhattan Project. And it was this act that gave birth to the concept of born, classified missions such as those carried out in Area 51. Missions and projects classified from the second they're created, allowing scientists to create new weapons, technology, etc. without any governmental committee approval, any oversight. So who the hell knows was being created recently. The possibilities are almost endless. Number four, most Area 51 lore can be traced back
Starting point is 01:27:47 to the testimony of one man, one wackadoodle, Robert Scott, Lazar, he seems about as credible as Charles Manson to me. Number five, the highest profile, this is some new info, the highest profile, Area 51, Ailey and I win this testimony. In recent years, actually comes from former Blink, one 82 front man, Tom DeLong. Man currently vocalist of angels and airwaves,
Starting point is 01:28:08 sold over 50 million albums worldwide, but just blank 192. You know, you sold over a million records and gotten tens of millions of streams with his new band. Super successful, highly talented, the talented, I don't know why that come from. Highly talented musician, and really into UFOs. We did talk about some of his UFO beliefs in the Alien Extravaganza bonus episode back I come from highly talented musician and really into UFOs.
Starting point is 01:28:25 We did talk about some of his UFO beliefs in the alien extravagance of bonus episode back in early 2017. He claims to have camped for a few nights out in the Nevada desert close to Area 51, closest he felt he could get without actually being arrested. I believe back in 2014, the articles I read were introduced from 2015 and in those he refers to have taken his trip Quote a little while ago and he says and numerous interviews he says we had two nights We did one outside of a secret base called China Lake and that was on the flight path to area 51 Which is known as groom Lake we camped out at the northern end of that about 200 miles from the nearest staff location
Starting point is 01:29:03 We were above an area called Tonapa, which is where they test fly a lot of different things. So if you remember, I was talking about a person that was gathering all the footage for the congressional hearing. The person was telling me that the big belief, which I had corroborated by a university professor that was in the know, by the way, that the communication of this particular phenomenon is the frequency of thought. So part of communicating and making contact is shutting your mind down and being able to project your thoughts.
Starting point is 01:29:29 And this guy was telling me about it and this whole protocol for how it works. When we went out there the first night we decided to run through this protocol where you project your thoughts. So we decided to do it and we were up mad late but nothing happened. I kept telling the guys if anything was going to happen it would happen in three in the morning because that's the time when things like that happen don't ask me why. up, mad late, but nothing happened. I kept telling the guys, if anything was going to happen, it would happen at three in the morning because that's the time when things like that happen. Don't ask me why.
Starting point is 01:29:48 We put about four logs on the fire and everything is illuminated by the fire. We fell asleep around one or two. I woke up around 3M. Even see even right there, it's like, wait a minute. You know that something's crazy going to happen at 3M. You go out there for the sole purpose of doing that and you can't fucking stay awake.
Starting point is 01:30:05 Okay, but anyway, he says my whole body felt like it had static electricity and I opened my eyes and the fire was still going and there's a conversation going on outside the tent. It sounded like there were about 20 people they're talking and instantly my mind goes, okay, they're at our campsite, they're not here to hurt us, they're talking about shit, but I can't make out what they're saying, but they're working on something. Then I close my eyes and wake up and the fire is out and I've lost about three hours of lost time. Yeah, because you were fucking asleep, you had lunatic. And he says, I get everyone up first thing in the morning and go, did anybody hear all the chatter last night? I couldn't move my body. I was stuck there. I couldn't hear anything. Sleep paralysis, maybe.
Starting point is 01:30:41 And then one of the guys I was with goes, yes they were all around her tent They were talking I told you and the other guy slept right through it He had no idea what we were talking about. I would love it if that other guy that no idea was talking to sleep And he said it sounded like English, but you couldn't make any of the words talking to sleep You knew you weren't threatened you couldn't move your body, but you were very aware of the conversation going on for a period of time You couldn't move your body, but you were very aware of the conversation going on for a period of time. Okay, and that's his story. He also, to add context to his frame of mind in 2015,
Starting point is 01:31:09 gave several interviews about how he was afraid for his life at this time. Thought that some secret government agency was going to try to snuff him out back in 2015. In another interview, he states, one time I remember bringing up a very specific craft that I believe were building in secret to emulate the phenomenon that our government
Starting point is 01:31:26 has been observing for decades. So I started talking about the craft in its magnetic slide system and how it displaces over 89% of the mass of the ship, how it ionizes the engine, how it glows. I went through the whole thing and this engineer looks at me. This guy is seven years old and he goes,
Starting point is 01:31:42 you better be real fucking careful about what you're talking about and I go Okay, so I'm close and he goes I'm not fucking kidding with you You better be really Fucking careful and he calls me up the next day and he goes I've had calls about you If someone comes and asks you to get in their car don't fucking get in that car Well, it's 2018 and he's still talking about this shit, no one's got him. Just like all the people who make these types of claims. Nang, he hasn't died in a serious death.
Starting point is 01:32:14 So, very skeptical. What is wrong skeptical of his claims? And again, I find myself right now really wishing that I had time to enjoy dropping some quality LSD. Right? Dropping some acid and seeing and feeling the kind of shit Tom is talking about. Time shut. Top 5 Take Away.
Starting point is 01:32:33 Alright, so Area 51 has been sucked. Thank you Space Lover Patron Sporters for picking a fun episode, for voting that I wanted to kick off August. You know I love some good wacky little shit. It's very entertaining. I like to mix that in with the dark stuff. It makes me laugh very hard. And it was fun to learn about the official narrative regarding the history of secret cold
Starting point is 01:32:53 war weapons, you know, kind of development, being carried out in the Nevada desert. Big thanks to the Times Talk team once again. The high priest is a suck hearty, harmony velocamp, Jesse Guardian of grammar, doggner. We've settled on his nickname now, he likes it. Thanks also to the Reverend Dr. Joe Paisy for doing his best to clean up the sound, you know, back of the suck dungeon. And hopefully when, you know, all here for the first time when you guys do, after he cleans it up, I'll be in a flight home.
Starting point is 01:33:16 And hopefully this holiday and express recorded episode sounds a little better than it sounds to me now. Thanks also to time suck high priest Alex Dugan the Biddle-XR team danger brain Eric Radiker, Queen of the Suck Lindsey Cummins special thanks again to OG Bo Jangle's research department intern. What is not intern? Research department you know help her outer. Heather knowledge ninja rylinder for helping shape this suck. And a week from today it's the 100th episode man. A hundred straight episodes of the suck. 100 straight weeks, I'm gonna celebrate with the drunkest fuck suck on the ax man of New Orleans.
Starting point is 01:33:50 And some court of lane time suckers, the wonderful owners of 10, 6, the new New Orleans inspired cuisine, a little restaurant meet on, it's on Forestry, less than two miles from the suck dungeon. Man, they're gonna be catering the evening's festivities. Lenzian Joe, I'm gonna join me for the recording, which we're doing before I head out to Palm Beach
Starting point is 01:34:08 on the evening of Wednesday, the eighth. Sure, my sponsors, for this episode are gonna be the real dumb drunk. So the ax man, man, who was he? Well, I really don't know much. I haven't really started the research, but here's a little what I found. By August the 1918, the city of New Orleans
Starting point is 01:34:23 paralyzed by fear in the dead and 90, ax man of New Orleans, broken into a the dead and the acts of New Orleans. Broken to a series of Italian groceries attacking the groceries and their families, some he left wounded, four people he left dead, the attacks were vicious. Joseph Maggio, for example, had a skull fracture with his own axe, his throat cut with his razor, his wife Catherine had her throat cut. She is fixated from her own blood. She blood out.
Starting point is 01:34:44 The acts men struck households in New Orleans from 1917 to March 1919 then the killer crossed the Mississippi River to the neighboring town of Gretna on the night of March 9 He assaulted Charlie Court Amelia and in a similar fashion badly injuring Charlie and his wife Rosey killing their two-year-old daughter man He sent an crazy letter to the press to start it off with hell March 13, 1919. It's steamed mortal of New Orleans. They have never caught me and they never will. They have never seen me for I am invisible, even as the ether that surrounds your earth. I am not a human being, but a spirit and a demon from the hottest hell. I am what you or Liniens your foolish police call the X-man. And to learn
Starting point is 01:35:27 anything more about him, at least for me, you're going to have to tune into next week's wild card of an episode. Right now, it's time for some time, sucker updates. Oh shit, I got a lot of you on Friday with a lie about the dog fucking makes me very happy. So many messages have come in. Several time suckers who came to the Tampa shows told me that I got them as well. I even got Heather Reylinder, who did the initial werewolf research. She wrote him with a subject line of oh fuck everything. And then she said, I did the research for werewolves and I fucking fell for the cave panning
Starting point is 01:36:02 dog sex. I was sitting on my couch thinking, how the fuck did I miss that? In the hours I was on fucked up werewolf sites. You done got me good comments, Heather. Well, Heather, if it makes you feel better, you're not alone. I also got Alabama sucker, Zachary Williams. Amongst others, he wrote in saying,
Starting point is 01:36:19 I finished listening to the werewolf bonus sucker, my way home from working in the emergency room. After a long and exhausting shift, filled with weird patients and strange circumstances, I guess my brain thought, sure, people are weird. I bet a few of them fucked wolves. And why wouldn't we be scared of the offspring? That's horrifying. I guess it's fitting that you finally caught me completely on the last regular bonus suck.
Starting point is 01:36:40 I love it, Zachary. Oh, and there is at least one more bonus suck coming Friday. Friday, September 14th, I didn't feel right, just suddenly stopped with no warning. So one more, and then you know, I don't know, who knows? Maybe someday life will change in a way that makes it feasible again. I got an aggressive and nice message and shadow requests, request from sweet sucker,
Starting point is 01:36:57 Ashley Nolton, she writes, Dan, you goddamn motherfucker. My husband continually says, quote, what is big deal? What's this big deal? What's this big deal? I finally got him to stop. And now at least three times a day, he Michael motherfucker McDonald's me. I can't take any more triple M.
Starting point is 01:37:14 We do love your podcast. Our one year anniversary, what anniversary's coming up? So can you please give him a shout out and ask him to stop. His name is Curtis. Love your podcast. Glad my husband happened upon it and got me into it as well. I love it. I love when you fuck up your pronunciation. Well, that's good because I can't help it. It's hard to try. And your hilarious jokes and your character voices. Keep on sucking. Hailbow jangles, which is also the name
Starting point is 01:37:37 of our dog who came from the pound with the name. But we always called him both jangles before. We stumbled upon your podcast. happy coincidence. It was meant to be Oh, I love the heaven but jangles sincerely Ashley Well happy anniversary Ashley and Curtis happy anniversary keep sucking together and I am sorry about the the Michael Macdonald I know it's annoying comes from a good place. Yeah, I'm sure I'm sure Curtis, you know, just like me with a Macdonald And he's probably just always thinking you know just how do I please you? How do I please you how do I please you how do I please you how do I please you and girl in your one way heart
Starting point is 01:38:26 girl in your one track mind how do I please you how do I please you? How do I please you? Oh, when I say that you're the only one. I'm not trying to fool you, baby. That's a hard one, man. If that's what it takes, I don't need to know anymore. That's a tough one to do without music. Okay, okay, I tried. And finally, fun Werewolf Update from soccer Damian Bushiman. I kind of dispense your last name because this is a fucking tricky one. He says, hey, Dan, I have an interesting Werewolf story to share,
Starting point is 01:38:59 but wanted to say that I understand about the bonus episodes. Thank you for keeping them up for so long. That's nice. I do hope that you keep up with similar cadence with the subjects. Bonus episodes tend to be more irreverent and fun. I've noticed, you know what? I will.
Starting point is 01:39:10 I like to break from killers and hardcore history. You know what? Absolutely. I do curate. I mean, I know those spaces are picked some, but I definitely balance out based on what they pick to keep it from falling into a rut. I do my best.
Starting point is 01:39:23 Anyways, I posted this on the Facebook page, but this is a lesser known but cool, wearable story. It involves theses of Kaltenbroon, a man known as God's Werewolf. In 1692, at the age of 80, he went on trial, he went on trial, accused of being a werewolf, but instead of claiming that he got his power from the devil, he stated he got them directly from God.
Starting point is 01:39:42 Every year, he would transform and venture into hell itself to do battle with the covenant of Satanic witches that would steal grain and livestock from good Christians. He would slaughter them on behalf of God and return the missing items before they were missed. In fact, he claimed that there was a small army of werewolves called the Hounds of God that fought evil secretly. Amazingly, he was not killed
Starting point is 01:40:05 and simply flagged and banished for perversions of Christianity. How has this not been made into a movie? Oh, yeah, incredible. And you know what, and if he was like 80 and really survived a medieval vlogging, maybe he really did have some more of blood. That's a tough son of a bitch right there.
Starting point is 01:40:21 God's where we'll fight in witches and hell. You're right, how has that not being made into at least a video game? Somebody get to it. Thanks for all your messages, everybody. Always appreciate your time-soaker updates. Thanks, time-soaker. I need a net. We all did. Well, that's all for this week unless you're a space lizard. Talk to you Thursday if you are. We've added time codes to the secret suck going forward by the way, so if you don't like one of the segments, well now you know where to skip to. Skip to the next segment, you know? I'll let Cartette baby pick and
Starting point is 01:40:51 choose. Have a great week. Maybe don't buy anything from a salesman claiming he was an Thank you.

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