Timesuck with Dan Cummins - Short Suck 66: Locusta of Gaul: The World’s First Serial Killer?

Episode Date: September 25, 2026

Long before forensic science could expose a killer, poison was one of ancient Rome’s deadliest—and hardest to detect—weapons, and few were said to wield it better than the mysterious Locusta of Gaul. Was this infamous poisoner truly the world’s first documented serial killer, or was she something else entirely: an assassin, weapons maker, and deadly tool of some of Rome’s most ruthless rulers?For Merch and everything else Bad Magic related, head to: https://www.badmagicproductions.com Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Welcome to another edition of Time Suck Short Sucks. I'm Dan Cummins, and today I'll be sharing the story of Locusta of Gaul, someone we admittedly don't know a lot about, but someone also often referred to in numerous sources as the world's first documented serial killer. Others, of course, also share that title, such as previous suck subject, Gilles Dore, a 15th century French knight who once fought with Joan of Arc. He may have been the victim of a witch hunt, also may have been a prolific killer of children. What about Locusta, a woman who lived well over a thousand years before Gilles-Durray in the first century C.E., could she have also been the victim of a witch hunt? Or is it pretty likely that she did kill a bunch of people in ancient Rome? But even if she did kill a bunch of people, was she an actual serial killer or more of an assassin, a hired gun? Let's travel back to ancient Rome to meet the infamous poisoner, the mysterious woman, known to history again as Locusta of Gaul,

to try and find out. Words and ideas can change the world. I hated her, but I wanted to love my mother. I have a dream. I'll plead not guilty right now. Your only chance is to leave with us. According to an academic study or article titled Poisons, Poisoning, and the Drug Trade in Ancient Rome by L. Selyers and F.P. Retif published back in the year 2000 in the peer-reviewed Classics Journal Akroturion,

The first recorded instance of poisoning in ancient Rome occurred in 331 BC when during an epidemic a large number of women were accused of concerted mass poisoning. From the works of revered ancient Greek botanists, Theophrostus, oh, there's so many fucking words, they're going to be a motherfucker in this one, who was born in the 4th century BCE, and Dio Scorides, who lived and died in the first century CE, and the ancient Roman naturalist chronicler. military leader and so much more walking encyclopedia, Joe Smith, no, Pliny the Elder, who also lived and died in the first century C.E. and other ancient writers, we know the Romans were aware of a large number of toxic substances of plant, animal, and also of mineral origin. Pretty important shit to know, I guess, really, right? Back when you didn't have any of our modern means of sanitizing food, and you couldn't just point your phone's camera at some random berry or root you're thinking about eating and have it tell you if it's safe or if it's going to make you

shit yourself to death or not. You know, really good to know back when there were no restaurants or truck stop food courts or 7-Elevens or hotels with free continental breakfast or at least rest areas with vending machines for you to grab some grub during your travels when instead you often needed to pick your own berries, roots, fruit, veggies, et cetera, in addition to fishing and hunting, you know, to put some food in your belly. When the knowledge between what growing around you was nutritious and what was toxic was crucial to understanding if you, you know, or to understand, rather, if you wanted to not die from being poisoned. But actually, there still was a chance that you were going to get poisoned because it was a

popular way to murder someone, since it's not like some ancient coroner could conclusively prove that somebody had died of being poisoned. Romans had, of course, no chemical tests, no laboratory equipment, no autopsies like we do now to detect toxins and bodily fluids or tissues. And they still believe shit that, you know, like people were being killed by the gods or via curses or, you know, fucking demons were sent after them or magic got them. Poisoning is impossible to determine exactly how common it was back then, since it's not like they kept accurate crime stats, thought to have peaked in Rome during the first and second century CE, as did the use of corresponding antidotes. And yes, they did have a lot of antidotes to various means of poisoning, but not all of them, developed because poisoning. you know, was already around, had already been around for a long, long time.

I mean, I imagine the first victim of poisoning died very shortly after the first human conclusively determined that some random substance that you could say slip into somebody's drink was lethal. Just, wait a minute, you're telling me, if I drink even a little bit of this berry's juice, a juice I would barely even taste, that's what you said, I'll be dead before the day's over. That's fucking crazy. And would people know I had been poisoned? Probably not.

Huh. They would just think that I'd gotten sick. Like, you know, people get sick all the time. Yeah, how much for a bottle of that shit? I got a little situation with a husband, not allowed to divorce, you know, legally. Another situation with a tax collector who keeps, you know, robinous. Actually, another situation with a neighbor who's creepier and hornier than my husband. And also with this one bitch down to the market who's been spreading crazy rumors about me.

And you know what? Now that I'm thinking about it, I don't like the way my youngest kid chews their food. And there's this old guy at the temple who breathes too loud. Oh, and this one woman in town who stares at me too much? Yeah, I might get two bottles. The ancient Egyptians were studying and cultivating poisonous and medicinal plants, as far back as around 3,000 BCE. Ancient Mesopotamian records also reference poisons.

So do ancient Indian and Chinese sources. And again, I'm sure poisons have existed since, you know, long before written records. Ancient Greek mythology also mentions poisoners. and in the 5th century BCE, execution by poison was used in Athenian courts. Ancient people love them some poison. Redally available. Impossible to concretely trace back to anybody.

Started in the late 1st century BC, women were the primary poisoners. Of course they were. They weren't allowed to train with weapons for the most part. They weren't as big and strong as most men to physically overpower them. But they were in charge of running the home. In charge of cooking, handing out drinks. oftentimes so many opportunities to slip in a few extra especially zesty ingredients. It makes actually a little spicy.

The ancient Roman poet Horace wrote a woman named Canidia in the first century BCE, who was said to be a particularly skilled poisoner. She is also probably the primary archetype we have for the first one, for the hideous, malevolent hag version of the modern witch, since earlier witch figures like Serse or Medea in Greek tradition were often depicted as divine, youthful, sexy goddesses,

powerful sorceresses. Why'd we get rid of that kind of witch? Why'd we get rid of the hot witches? It's something awesome witch. Canidia, not youthful, divine or hot, she was said to be a nasty old Halloween fucking caricature prop-looking hag digging up graves to gather ingredients

for dark magic and poison to make poisons from human in animal body parts. She also could chant harmful spells and perform gruesome rituals like child's sacrifice. She was defined by her extreme ugliness, disheveled hair,

and nocturnal gatherings under the light of the full moon. I mean, she definitely didn't exist, but that's how she was portrayed. Our current horror movie trope version of the witch was born. Later authors used figures like Kinneedia to reflect patriarchal fears

about independent female power, foreign influence or moral decay. That tracks. Any woman wanted to be independent who refuses to submit to her husband's authoritai, hereby declared ugly old crazy child murdering witch. Burn the witch.

Tacitus, considered one of Rome's greatest historians, wrote that the nephew of Emperor Tiberius died under suspicious circumstances and an infamous poisoner named Martina. Not as witchlike. Martina is the other witch name.

The primary suspect. She died unexpectedly on her way to a Senate investigation and poison was found in a knot of her hair. Hit a little vial in there. Most of what we know about ancient Roman poison comes from the records of contemporary writers in the first century CE

Dio Scorides or his famous book De Materia Medica which classified substances in the animal vegetable and mineral kingdoms His work discussed almost a thousand drugs and became a standard text for centuries. He was the fucking drug guy. He's the guy you wanted as your friend.

Hey, what'll get me like high by not kill me? Old Dioscorides. I call you Dio? Because your full name is fucking weird. Among the vegetable poisons he wrote about were deadly nightshade berries, mandrake, root of mandrake. That's some witch stuff. Acha. Monkshood, hemlock, Hellebore, and a variety of poisonous mushrooms.

Vegetable poisons were the best known, most widely used type of poisons in ancient Rome or vegetative from a vegetative source. Animal poisons because they weren't like vegetables necessarily in the sense of like carrots. But like poisons from like natural plants, the best, that's probably a better way to phrase that.

Animal poisons, much less common. Poisoners typically utilize snake venom though and venomous spiders and scorpions. Poisonous minerals rarely used but ancient Romans had access to lead which they knew could be toxic as well as arsenic and mercury. Out of all these herbal you know, vegetable, vegetative poisons,

consider the most effective. Too many nightshade berries. Too much nightshade berry juice. And that'll blur your vision. It can lead to intense vomiting and diarrhea. Give you a headache. Send you off into hallucination land. Make you delirious.

Eventually hit your fucking nervous system so hard that you will be paralyzed to the point that you can't even breathe. It'll fuck you up at a whole bunch of different ways. And it doesn't take many of those large blueberry-sized berries to do all that. Monkshood, even more lethal. These beautiful purple flowers, they are gorgeous. They look so completely harmless, gentle. Oh, they are very nasty. Every part of this plant, nasty, rife with the poison aconite. Within minutes, if you've ingested enough, you will suffer from

terrible stomach and chest pains, diarrhea, dizziness, vomiting, numbness, and a rhythmic heartbeat. Overall weakening of your body very quickly, you'll die from either your heart no longer beating sufficiently or you will suffocate due to your lungs no longer get. giving you the required amount of oxygen. And unlike with a lot of other poisons, such as nightshade, no cure or antidote for monk's hood poisoning. Despite the danger, like a lot of other poisonous plants, it was and still is used medicinally in less than fatal amounts

for reasons such as like being a fever reducer to diminish joint nerve pain or as a sedative. Yeah, it's a dangerous choice. I think that's going to be very last on my list for a lot of those. You know, like if I have a fever, I don't think I'm going to go straight to monkshood. I think it's going to, I think I'll, I'll take my chances with the fever, maybe die.

Definitely not going to use it as a sedative. For sure not going to use it to diminish a little joint pain, right? You know, that seems like a bad risk-reward situation. You know, I got some joint pain. I could go with, you know, Advil, I could go with Tylenol. I could go with fucking monkshood, where if I take too much, there's no antidote and I just die. It's believed by a lot of modern scholars,

as it was by a lot of contemporary chroniclers, that poisoning was an extremely common assassination method in ancient Rome, a tool used to get rid of heirs to the throne, political officials standing in your way of something or just maybe somebody had a grudge against even emperors. Also, I imagine just, you know, just regular, everyday people you didn't care for. Poison eliminated the need for weapons and a bloody crime scene, and again, thousands of years before forensic testing,

pretty easy to get away with murder by poison, unless somebody, like, saw you fucking pour the poison into somebody's drink or something, because the death could be blamed on some random illness or other medical situation. An assassin could, you know, often slip poison into food and drinks without any detection. And as long as they get their mouth shut, didn't talk about it a lot, probably good. It was so easy that we have no idea how many people were killed in this way. A lot of people might have gotten away with some poisoning. Poisoning was thought to be so widespread that emperors and other wealthy and powerful people routinely employed food tasters to keep them safe.

but those tasters could be bribed to become accessories for the right price oftentimes and you'd end up getting poisons anyway and where was everybody getting their poison? Well, from your local poison maker, you had to know a guy or gal. And we will circle back and check in with our poison making gal right after today's first of two-ad-show sponsor breaks. If you don't want to hear these ads, please sign up to be a space as they're on Patreon. Get the catalog ad-free, a catalog of all the old secret suck episodes and

more and I would thank you. Thanks for listening to those sponsors and thanks for tolerating my awkward sign-off before the previous sponsor break before I went into that one. Now let's learn a bit about who Locusta of Gaul was. Locusta of Gaul was one of the most infamous poison makers of ancient Rome and the first written of two thought have routinely poisoned people, hence the serial killer-killer label. La Custia was active during the last two reigns of the Julio Wurian. Claudian dynasty, the Julio Claudian dynasty consisted of the first five emperors of Rome,

Augustus, Tiberius, Caligula, Claudius, and Nero. They ruled collectively from 27 BCE until Nero's death in 68C.E. Ocusta allegedly took part in the assassinations of Emperor Claudius and also his heir, Britannicus, the the guy, the encyclopedia founder.

You know Britannicus. And we think he has nothing to do with his encyclopedia, Britannica, We think this is because Lucusta was referenced by ancient historians such as Tacitus, Suttonius, in his life of Nero, and also by Cassius Dio. The first and second century BCE Roman poet Juvenile also referenced Lucusta in his collection of satirical poems. And one satire, Juvenal, described a poisoner as being more skilled than Lucusta. He wrote, A potent matron occurs, who soft Kalinian wine about to reach forth.

Her husband, thirsty, mixes a toad, and a better lacusta instructs her rude neighbors, though through fame and the people to bring forth their black husbands. Did you catch all that? That was really straightforward, right? Made a lot of sense. The phrase black husbands there, by the way, has nothing to do with race. This wasn't some, uh, we have to get rid of these black motherfuckers, so sick of being married to these black guys.

No, not at all. Black as in death. In modern terms, the passage could be written something like a, powerful upper-class woman poisons her thirsty husband by mixing some toad venom into his wine. She then teaches her uneducated everyday neighbors, these peons, how to do the same thing so they can murder their own husbands, legally inherit their wealth, and get away with it. Fuck yeah, bro. You know, something like that?

Despite being our subject today, Lakusta, a pretty obscure historical figure and information about her life hard to come by. In fact, we don't even know when she was born because she was called La Custa. of Gaul, we can probably safely assume she was from Gaul. That'd be pretty weird if she wasn't. Be weird if she was from Venice. And that was just like a random, kind of like a big guy being called Tiny or something. Gaul was a region of Western Europe, first described by the Romans at one point

encompassed modern-day France, Belgium, Luxembourg, parts of Switzerland, the Netherlands, Germany and northern Italy. It was huge. And it was divided into three parts. Galia, Celta. Belchica and Aquitania. Julius Caesar led his army into Gaul in 58 BCE. Historians estimate his campaign in Gaul led directly to the enslavement or death of over a million people.

Jesus Christ. It is fucking insane how many people have died in so many wars. I mean, enslaved as well, but specifically died. It made me think about estimates for the total number of deaths caused by all known wars throughout the entirety of human history range broadly from the low end of 150 million, to a figure most who have looked into this thing is probably much closer to the truth, which is at least 700 million, possibly over a billion. Ayah, y. Gaul was a Roman province from the first century BC to the 5th century CE, and it's possible,

likely really, that Lacosta was captured and enslaved before the Romans discovered her knowledge of herbal poisons. We know that Lecusta was captured and brought to Rome before 54C. Because historical records mention she was imprisoned in 504. 4C on, of course, a poison charge. According to some historians, she was already notorious in Rome by that point for her poison powers. Her reputation for being very good and at quietly making people go away.

Most likely how she came into the service of Agrippina, Agrippina the younger, the mother of infamous emperor Nero. Nero, I'm sure you've heard of him. Nero, a real rude boy, real ruthless motherfucker, who killed numerous members of his own family, tortured countless people, particularly Christians, by lighting them on fire, using them as human torches to light his gardens, dressing him in animal furs to be torn apart by dogs, nailing them to crosses so we could watch them slowly die painfully and shit like that. He also, suppose he did stuff like roam the streets of Rome disguised as a slave so he could

rob some shops and just beat the shit out of random people. Also rumored to have had a sex relationship with his mother and to have once had a young slave boy spores castrated before he then married him in a public spectacle slash ceremony where Sporris was dressed up as his bride. If we are to believe all the accounts

written by Nero, it's like if one of the worst most sadistic serial killers I have ever covered was an emperor who lived above the law. So that's fun. LeCosta was hired as Nero's mom's poison expert and allegedly assisted in assassinating

Agrippina's husband, Emperor Claudius. Upon her arrival to Rome, Lucusta became embroiled in all the drama and scandal that was characteristic of powerful Roman families. So much Game of Thrones shit. Julia Agrippina, aka Agrippina the Younger, was a Roman empress from 49 to 54 C.E. The fourth wife and niece of Emperor Claudius.

She was a prominent woman in the Julio-Claudian dynasty, the great-granddaughter, yes, of Augustus, first emperor of Rome and the daughter of General Germanicus and Agrippina the elder. Her father was the nephew and heir apparent of Rome's second emperor

Tiberius, her brother the infamous Caligula, who became emperor in 37 C.E. After he was assassinated in 41 C. Agerpina's uncle, her father's brother, Claudius, took the throne and she would marry him in 49C. And yes, she

did marry her uncle. Fuck's sake, people were even creepier back than they are now. just openly married her uncle. Lisa didn't have kids together. At least her uncle had the decency to pull out, right? What a fine upstanding Roman he was, to at least not impregnate the niece he was having sex with. Agrippina was considered ruthless, ambitious, domineering,

and she used her political ties to influence imperial affairs like so many others also did, but I guess she did it a little better than most. She was known to be particularly scheming. In a day where there was lots of schemers. The emperor, her uncle, also her fourth husband, So fucking weird. So weird.

Oh, this is my uncle husband. Conveniently died soon after he became aware of her plots. A lot of people found it suspicious. Her son Nero was the fifth and final emperor of the Julio-Claudean dynasty, as I mentioned earlier, often regarded as one of the worst, if not the worst emperors in Roman history. Most of what we know about Nero comes from Tacitus, Soutonius, and Cassius Dio, all who lived after him. Nero, as I mentioned, particularly remembered for persecuting early Christians and considered the Antichrist. by many of the first Christians. Oh, yes, the Antichrist.

Cracks me up how every generation has had a lot of people who they've been positive. This is the dude. We got him. This is the Antichrist. Found him. For sure him. It's Nero. I double check my math.

Every cryptic reference fits 100%. World's about to end. That exact game has been played since the first century C.E. And everybody's been wrong so far. Which is why I lose exactly zero sleep. over concerns about who might be the Antichrist right now. I don't believe in the concept of an Antichrist. If there was a way to place big bets on someone not being the Antichrist,

I would put all of my money on bets against literally anyone ever being the Antichrist. Former Antichrist, hopeful Nero, born December 15th, 37C.E., as mentioned, he was a son of Agrippina the younger. His dad was her first husband, Nias, Demichius, Ahino, Barbus. That's a fun name. Nero's birth name was Lucius, Domitius, Hino Barbus,

and fucking thank God everyone just called him Nero. That's a lot easier to say. If he just like, if historians referred to him as Lucius, Demetius, he no Barbus, I feel like we'd know a lot less about him because people would think about looking into him and like sharing information and they'd be like,

I don't want to fucking talk about some guy that I have to call Lucius, Domitius, Ah, Hino Barbus all the time. Nero's dad was also his mother's first cousin. Hell yeah. A little more incest. They married in 28 C.E. As the nephew of one emperor and the great-grandson or great-grandson of another,

Nero seemed destined for power. However, despite these connections, Nero was never supposed to be in the line of succession. The year he was born his uncle, Caligula, another dude vying for the claim of worst Roman emperor ever, succeeded Tiberius's emperor. It was thought that Caligula would live for many decades and produced multiple heirs, but Caligula only served as emperor for four years

who was assassinated in early 41 CE his infant daughter also murdered the rumors about what insane shit Caligula may have done just as insane as rumors about Nero Caligula said to have forced parents to watch the executions of their own children to have ordered their deaths to be slow to maximize suffering also reportedly grew bored

during games in the Coliseum and would sometimes order entire sections of the spectator crowd to be thrown into the arena and, you know, eaten by wild animals or killed in some other way. That's fucking wild times. Imagine that life moment. Man, I can't believe the tickets for this section were so cheap today. Oh, wow, just like a crazy sale.

Normally, we could never afford to come watch the games. And these seats? Great seats. Right up front. Ha, what an emperor. You know, I've heard all these nasty rumors, but Caligula, he seems pretty cool to, hey, hey, what are those soldiers saying down there? Get into the arena.

Huh, do we win something? What a day. Contemporary and modern historians note that many extreme stories about Caligula were written by political enemies. Same as true for Nero in the Roman senatorial class. So who knows how true the allegations are? But anyway, Caligula was succeeded by his uncle Claudius,

who was the last adult male in the family, like La Custra, Claudius, born in Gaul, where his father was stationed in the military, making him the first emperor born outside of Italy. At the time, Claudius ascended to the three, own, Nero's mother, Magrippina, had been exiled to the Pontian Islands in 39 CE for allegedly participating in a conspiracy against her brother Caligula. A brother she was rumored to have been sleeping with, by the way. This lady rumored to have slept with her son, a fucking uncle

that she was married to, and brother, and possibly others. That's just, you know, what was important to this story that caught my attention, but I didn't look, you know, further into her. She might have, She might have fucked every family member. She might have had like a book where she just had a list of like everyone that she had tracked down that was, you know, blood related to her and just was on a quest to fuck all of them. This clan not great with sexual boundaries. Nero was sent to live with an aunt and his biological father who died a year later. After Claudius ascended to power, he called Agrippina and her sister Julia, a Julia Lavilla from exile. Agrippina then married, got her son back, then married.

Gaius Seleustius, Crispus, Pasoia, Jesus Christ, Pasoenus, fuck that guy's name, one of the wealthiest men in Rome, with the name I truly hope I never have to say out loud again for the rest of my life, not even one time. Pasadena, Pasadena, it sounds kind of Pasadena.

Let's call him Pasadena. Pasadena was killed between 44 and 47 C. After he made his wife his heir. And 48 C.E. Emperor Claudia. not a bad name to say, had his wife executed for plotting again. Everyone's getting fucking killed. So much Game of Throne shit back then.

You just had to worry about everybody, especially your spouse. Agrippina saw and seized an opportunity now to grow her power and influence. Claudius was seeking a new wife. And Agrippina was one of the candidates. Every woman had their own patron who argued in support of their candidate Agrippina was supported by Pallas, who said, per Tacitus. Palace in his eulogy of Agrippina insisted on the point that she brought with her the grandson of Germanicus, who fully deserved an imperial position,

let the sovereign unite to himself a famous stock, the posterity of the Julian and Claudian races, and ensured that a princess of tried fecundity, still in the vigor of youth, should not transfer the glory of the Caesars into another family. Okay, sure, yeah, bloodlines and whatnot. That passionate speech, and Agrippina's beauty, she was said to be his hottest niece.

He had a lot of sexy nieces, and he's like, which one do I get? but he got her. She was the sexist of the nieces. And he won, she won the emperor over, and he chose Agrippina to be his fourth wife. And before learning more about this twisted family, who knows what other family members

are going to get fucked coming up. Time for today's second of two mid-show sponsor breaks. Thanks for listening to those sponsors. Now let's reconnect with Agrippina's quest for power. Claudius then adopted her son. So what would that make him, actually? and 50 CE securing his spot in the line of succession securing Nero's. So if Claudius is, it's his niece's son, you know what?

I'd have to consult one of those family tree things. But he, so he has, like, his son is also some other relative to him. Agrippina then arranged a marriage between Nero and Claudia Octavia, the emperor's daughter, with his previous wife. So, step-sister. She arranged a marriage between the woman who was married to her uncle, just arranged a marriage between her son. her son and his step-sister, her stepdaughter. I just want to make sure everybody caught that. Man, this family would have loved all the creepy step-family porn that's out there today.

These two were married in 53 C.E. Not long afterwards, Emperor Claudius died under suspicious circumstances on October 13th, 54C. Agrippina had become rather combative with her husband in his final months. He was open about his dislike for bad wives. I imagine a lot of people didn't like, I don't know, does anybody like a bad wife? he had even commented on restoring his son Britannicus's status within the imperial family shortly before his death, which was an insult to Agrippina and a direct threat to baby boy Nero's succession.

Who I imagine was hearing these rumors was, you know, I don't know, fucking stomping more puppies to death or something. So the empress hired La Custa of Gaul and allegedly ordered her to supply poison for the assassination of Emperor Claudius. Claudius, I don't know why I said it weird that way. Lecusta reportedly advised the Empress to use a tropa belladonna as a poison. A tropa belladonna part of the nightshade family, a flowering plant native to Europe, Western Asia and Turkey, the foliage and berries, very toxic when ingested.

And as I mentioned earlier, will cause delirium, hallucinations, and so much other horrific shit. Just your body shutting down if you take enough. The former empress, Libya Ducilla, had allegedly used the same poison to kill her enemies. Livia, the wife of Augustus, first emperor of Rome. She became the emperor's confidant and reportedly murdered numerous of his relatives. Dear God, everyone's killing all their family members back then. They're fucking their family and they're killing their family. Lacusta, maybe just one of a whole bunch of people who were technically serial killers back then.

Ancient historians wrote that Livia killed her first husband by poisoning his fresh figs. After the atropa belladonna poison was created by Lucusta, most likely sprinkle onto a mushroom and given to the emperor by his food taster, Holotus. Helotus, accompanied the emperor to every dinner and banquet. He would have spent the majority of his time with the imperial family, therefore could have formed a relationship with the empress, where he could have been convinced somehow to betray the leader of Rome. Claudius did become sick, but then the poison didn't seem to be working as quickly as the

empress wanted. Claudius's Greek physician, Gaius, Sturtinius, Xenophon. Oh, sure. Also at the banquet and took the emperor to his judge. chamber after he lost consciousness. And it is believed by some that he finished Claudius off by sticking a poisoned feather down his throat under the guise of inducing

vomiting. So many possible murder. That's a very creative way to murder somebody. The old poison feather. I'll tickle your throat with his poison feather. No one will be the wiser. There was suspicion surrounding his death, but for reasons I went over earlier, no one

could, of course, proved that the emperor had been intentionally poisoned. Doctors put feathers down. People his throats a lot back then, I guess. They had their old vomit feather trick. According to the story in Tacitus, Agrippina, quote, had long decided on the crime. This translation, that's not how he wrote it,

and wanted some rare compound which might derange his mind and delay death. So no one would suspect he was poisoned. Whoever killed him, however they killed him. Once Claudius was dead, at 17 years old, Nero was made emperor in the wake of his adopted father's demise. And Likusta would next be mentioned during Nero's reign, in historical accounts in 55 CE Several sources say she was in prison

For Claudius' death But Nero pardoned her Brought her back to the royal service Not surprised, right? She was a very useful asset To somebody like Nero He needed her help and poisoning His younger brother, Britannicus

Before, I'm sure in his mind Britannicus tried to kill him And take the throne Hiberius Claudius Caesar, Britannicus, A.k.a. Bertanicus lived from 41 to 55 C.E. The son of Claudius

and his third wife, Valeria Messalina. Incredibly, those two were barely related, his parents there. First cousins once removed. Kind of boring. Britannicus barely had some incest in him. It's like he was barely a royal member of the royal family. Britannicus is the heir to the throne until his mother was executed in 48 C.E. As mentioned earlier when it came out,

that she had engaged in a bigamous marriage without the emperor's knowledge. Many still considered Britannicus, the true and rightful heir, so Nero wanted, of course, to put an end to any hopes he would ever rule. He also, before he very likely helped kill him, would embarrass him or try to. For example, during the Feast of Saturn, you know the Feast of Saturn. Every December, when you have the Feast of Saturn at your home, like we all do. But they had it back in ancient Rome in December. The two were playing a game, and Nero chose Britannicus to sing a song,

hoping he would bring shame upon himself for having a shitty voice or something. Britannicus sang a melancholy poem about how he was cast aside in favor of Nero, and it gained him a bunch of sympathy amongst the crowd, a lot of important people in the crowd, and that supposedly was when Nero began to plot the assassination of his brother by marriage, who was a little over three years his junior.

When Nero brought in Likusta to poison his brother, she is believed to have used arsenic initially, but the dose was too small to kill him and just made him sick. Interestingly, ancient Romans would get arsenic from volcanic hot springs, mines oftentimes, from random natural mineral deposits, arsenic often appears as a byproduct or contaminant in some minds, you know, that are extracting gold, silver, lead, other metals. Orpamont or yellow arsenic looks like a dark amber crystal or yellow rock sometimes. Fascinate how it kills.

Quote, you can think of enzymes and the chemicals they act upon as locks and keys, said Mark Jones, a chemistry consultant and fellow of the American Chemical Society when he told a journalist this for live science. Quote, arsenic is like a key that is not cut correctly. If it goes into a lock on a door, not only will it not unlock that door, it can get jammed in there and prevent another key from getting in to unlock that door. In this way, arsenic can block a lot of vital chemical pathways. By chemically jamming cellular locks, arsenic can harm nearly every single organ in the human body. Large doses can lead to symptoms such as vomiting, diarrhea, dehydration, shock, abnormal heart rhythms, multiple organ failure that will result in death. Originally, it sounds terrible. Originally, Nero wanted his brother's death to appear natural, so suspicion would not fall upon him.

But then he was furious, apparently, when the poison didn't work the first time. And it is said that he personally flogged Lukusta for her failure. So whipped her and ordered her to give his brother a larger dose. He had Lukusta test out concoctions on animals, possibly even children, until she found one that would kill somebody very quickly, it is said. Britannicus was poisoned again in a dinner party where Agrippina and several other notable people were in attendance. He was given a hot drink, which was sampled by a food taster. And then when Britannicus asked for his drink to be cooled,

the poison was added with the cold water, added his drink to cool it, and nobody retested it again. Britannicus, quote, lost alike both voice and breath, according to one ancient chronicler, and died between December of 54C. And February 11, 55C, C, the day before his 14th birthday. This incident was documented in the life of Nero,

amongst other places, who wrote, He attempted the life of Britannicus by poison, not less from jealousy of his voice, for it was more agreeable than his own, then from fear that he might sometime win a higher place than himself in the people's regard because of the memory of his father. He procured the potion from an arch-poisoner, one locusta,

and when the effect was slower than he anticipated, merely physicking, which is like administering medicine to, Britannicus. He called a woman to him and flogged her with his own hand. Oh, he spanked her. Maybe he's holding, he just held the thing that flogged her. Charging that she had administered a medicine instead of a poison and when she said in an excuse that she had given a smaller dose to shield him from the odium of the crime, he replied,

it's likely that I am afraid of the Julian law. And he forced her to mix as swift an instant a potion as she knew how in his own room before his very eyes then he tried it on a kid. and as the animal lingered for five hours, had the mixture steeped again and again threw some of it before a pig. The beast instantly fell dead

whereupon he ordered that the poison be taken to the dining room and given to Britannicus. The boy dropped dead at the very first taste, but Nero lied to his guest and declared that he was seized with the falling sickness, to which he was subject, and the next day had him hastily and unceremoniously buried in a pouring rain.

He rewarded Lucusta for her eminent services with a full pardon and large estates in the country and actually sent her pupils. As in students, not like a little eyeball parts. Who knows with these fuckers? As described in the passage, Britannica suffered from what was most likely the epilepsy. That was the falling sickness.

So Nero tried to pass off his convulsions by telling the attendees that he was having a seizure and should not be touched, thereby ensuring his death. No one would try and induce him to vomit. Another account of the murder comes from the annals by Tassals by Tavis. And he wrote,

Nero was confounded at this, and as the day was near, on which Britannicus would complete his 14th year, he reflected, now on the domineering temper of his mother, and now again on the character of the young prince, which a trifling circumstance had lately tested, sufficient, however, to gain him wide popularity. During the Feast of Saturn amid other pastimes of his playmates, at a game of Lott drawing for King, the Lott fell to Nero, upon which he gave all his other companions different or orders, and such as would not put them to the blush, but when he told Britannicus to step forward and begin a song, hoping for a laugh at the expense of a boy who knew nothing of sober, much less

of riotous society, the lad with perfect coolness commenced some verses which hinted at his expulsion from his father's house and from supreme power. This procured him pity, which was the more, which was the more conspicuous, as night with its merriment had stripped off all disguise. Okay. Nero saw the reproach and redoubled his hate, pressed by Agropina's menaces, having no charge against his brother and not daring openly to order his murder. He meditated a secret device and directed poison to be prepared through the agency of Julius Polio, a tribune of one of the Praetorian cohorts who had in his custody a woman under sentence for poisoning Lakustabai name. Poisons her game. No, Lakustabai name, with a vast reputation for crime. That everyone about the person, of Britannicus should care nothing for right or honor had long ago been provided for. He actually received his first dose of poison from his tutors and passed it off his bowels as it was rather weak or so qualified as not at once to prove deadly. But Nero, impatient at such slow progress in crime, threatened the tribune and ordered the poisoner

to execution for prolonging his anxiety while they were thinking of the popular talk and planning their own defense. then they promised that death should be as sudden as if it were the hurried work of the dagger and a rapid poison of previously tested ingredients was prepared close to the emperor's chamber. What kind of poison was used on Britannicus? Nobody knows. Nobody knows in part because the accounts of his death certainly exaggerated. True instantaneous death drop in dead at the very first taste of something from a diluted extract added to a cup of water.

That's not how these poisons work. That does not match modern scientific understanding of how natural poisons operate. So who knows exactly how he died. But he fell ill and died. After successfully killing Britannicus, Lukusta was favored by Nero for several years, allegedly given in the state, as I mentioned, allowed to test poisons, or forced to test poisons on animals ordered,

enslaved people, and convicted criminals, securing her place in some people's minds as one of the first documented serial killers in history. Allegedly, she even provided training to other poisoners who worked for the emperor. But again, that may, she may have been kind of, you know, told this is what you do. And if you don't do it, you die. During his time as emperor, Nero would make some positive changes to Roman society.

A little more about Nero. He didn't only turn people into human torches and fuck family members. He also reduced taxes, gave more power to the Senate, replaced gladiatorial combat with poetry and athletic competitions, also issued several pardons like the one granted to L'Custa. Nero caused a scandal when he cheated on his wife with a former enslaved woman. In 55C.E, his mother Agrippina attempted to intervene on his wife's behalf, which angered Nero

and the next year in 56C.E, Nero forced his mother out of the Imperial Palace to live in a different residence and three years after that had her killed. More game of throne shit. Had the woman who got him to the throne killed. Nero always maintained that Agrippina plotted to have him killed and died of suicide when the assassination attempt against him failed.

But the circumstances surrounding her death don't necessarily point to that. Most people think that he had her killed. According to Tacitus, Nero considered poisoning or stabbing his mother, but then decided to build a self-sinking boat to make her death look like an unfortunate accident. She went down with a ship.

Somehow Agrippina managed to escape, though, fled to a villa, where she was then, according to Tacitus, bludgeoned to death. Life was so brutal back then. Soutonius wrote that Nero tried, to poison his mother three times, but Agrippina was aware of his plot and took an antidote every time. After she survived

the boat incident, after all the poison attempts, he wrote that Nero ordered his mother's assassination again, but wanted it to look like a suicide with a blade. Okay. Man, there's just these people are just, there's just so many fucking terrible people. In July of 64

C.E. Rome was devastated by a massive fire. Nero was not in Rome when the fire started and contributed to relief efforts, but then began building a new place that would have covered a third of the city, if completed, a new palace, I should have said placed, this opulent palace, ridiculous.

Good God, that led to the rumor that he deliberately started the fire, had somebody start the fire to build the palace. Meanwhile, Nero blamed the Christians and had more of them executed in brutal ways, like I've mentioned, you know, turn them into human torches, having them fucking eaten by dogs, crucified.

Real sadistic motherfucker, Nero survived an assassination attempt in 65C. But that did not prolong his life for very long. In 68, C.E., there was rebellion, and gall that spread throughout the empire, Roman legions declared Servius Sulpicius Galba,

the governor of Hispania, Emperor over Nero. Nero was abandoned by his Praetorian Guard, and when he learned that the Senate ordered his arrest and execution, he chose to stab himself in the neck with his dagger. On June 9th, 68th, see,

I feel like there's a lot of other ways he could have done that, you know? I mean, desperate times, I guess you're going to do crazy things, but that just feels unnecessarily painful to fucking. stab yourself in the throat. After Nero's death, Likusta was said to have been executed by his successor, Galba,

who reigned for just seven months before he was murdered. He was killed by somebody on behalf of the next emperor in January 69 Z. And after he's killed, his head was cut off, and his head was paraded around Rome, and, you know, people got to fucking point at it and mock it, you know, whatever. Just good times. This is really fun times. Lecusta was executed along with Emperor Nero's other favorites, such as Helius, a freedman who had influence over both Claudius and Nero.

He was head of Nero's imperial court, conducted business on his behalf, his former slave. Petrobius, another former slave who had influenced over the Emperor Nero, Narcissus, a third member of his court, and, quote, others of the scum that had come to the surface in Nero's day. So all those fucking scumbags were gone. The group was paraded to the city in chains. The writers for Game of Thrones, for the TV show, I didn't read the books, what George Martin.

and wrote, clearly influenced by Rome. The group was paraded through the city in chains before their execution. It's a popular myth that Lacosta was raped to death by an especially trained giraffe. Seriously, but there's no

real evidence to support this. But fucking, who knows though? These are boxed with motherfuckers. It could have happened. That's a crazy-ass myth. Especially trained giraffe, as in a fucking raped giraffe. Hey, bring out the raped giraffe.

That could be a thing, I guess. Giraffes do have exceptionally long dicks. I don't know if you knew that. You probably assumed it. And if you did assume it, you were correct. Their dicks can be up to four feet long when erect. So watch out for fucking giraffe boners. They can be lethal.

So that monstrous fate is possible. Careful that you don't get fucked to death by a giraffe. And that's pretty much all we know about Lacoste of Gall, a figure mysterious in life and mysterious in death. Was she a serial killer? I don't think so. No, it sounds like she was more of like a mercenary. Killer for hire.

state sanctioned executioner or maybe even more accurate a weapons manufacturer because it doesn't sound like she did the killing like she didn't put the poison into somebody's drink she just made the poison for other people to put it in people's drinks she made she made stuff

used to kill people uh I mean did she ever kill anybody herself maybe when Nero gave her her place her estate and then paid her or forced her to run experiments uh even then I guess I would think more more like evil science scientist, evil doctor, then serial killer.

So yes, my verdict, not a serial killer, not in any sense of how we think of serial killers today. She was somebody who you didn't want to be in her bad side. Somebody who could be hired or forced by an emperor to use her vast knowledge of poisons to covertly kill people. And in that sense, I bet she was one of many, many people who did shit like that back then. Man, as fucked up as the world is today still,

I am glad I wasn't around for any of that back then. it was more fucked back then. Although, there are some people, if I'm going to be totally honest, I wouldn't mind poisoning, right? If I could definitely get away with it.

Come on, you have a mental list like that as well. There are some people like, you know what, the world would be better off, truly, in every possible way, if they just drank something and didn't wake up.

Maybe we can compare notes someday. We can compare our poison lists and see if there's some overlap. And that's it. That was a weird ending to a weird episode of Time sucks, short sucks. God,

Lacosta got the least interesting part of that little episode to me just the constant family fucking and scheming and family murdering. So much going on

within the Roman emperors, their families. That is it, yo. Did I say, yo? I did not mean to. I was going to say something else. That's what,

maybe I just start talking like that now. That'd be fun. That's it, yo. Hey, yo, that's it. Who am I? I don't even know, yo. That's it for this edition of TimeSug Short Sucked.

If you enjoyed this story, check out the rest of the bad magic catalog, be for episodes at Time suck every Monday or noon Pacific time. New episodes of the now long-running paranormal podcast, scared to death, Tuesdays at midnight, two episodes of nightmare fuel, fictional horror, thrown into the mix each month. And thanks so much for the feedback on recent nightmare fuels. It is just continually encouraging.

Thanks to Olivia Lee for the initial research here. Thanks to Logan Keith, polishing up the sound of today's episode. Please go to bad magic productions.com for all your bad magic needs. And why you have, you know what? Why don't you have yourself a great weekend?