Timothy Keller Sermons Podcast by Gospel in Life - Forgiving Grace

Episode Date: October 5, 2026

Morally virtuous behavior can arise out of a heart that hasn’t actually been supernaturally changed. For example, in traditional moral training, we teach people to be honest by using a motive of fear and insecurity. But only for a heart that feels absolutely loved is lying unnecessary and unnatural. It’s only an experience of the grace of God through Jesus Christ that changes the heart rather than restrains the heart.  We’re looking at the marks of a supernaturally changed heart, and we come now to patience. Let’s look at patience: 1) why do we need it? 2) what is it? and 3) how do we get it? This sermon was preached by Dr. Timothy Keller at Redeemer Presbyterian Church on January 20, 2002. Series: Practical Grace; How the Gospel Transforms Character. Scripture: Matthew 18:21-35; 1 Corinthians 13:4, 6. Today's podcast is brought to you by Gospel in Life, the site for all sermons, books, study guides and resources from Timothy Keller and Redeemer Presbyterian Church. If you've enjoyed listening to this podcast and would like to support the ongoing efforts of this ministry, you can do so by visiting https://gospelinlife.com/give and making a one-time or recurring donation.

Welcome to Gospel and Life Radio. We often assume that being kind, generous, and forgiving is all that matters. But in his writings to the early church, the Apostle Paul offers a challenging truth. Even the greatest acts of love and sacrifice are empty if they're ultimately done out of self-interest. Today, Tim Keller explores how the gospel transforms us completely, even our motivations, making us people who love and serve others in response to God's grace for us. Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me?

Up to seven times? Jesus answered, I tell you, not seven times, but 77 times. Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him 10,000 talents was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had to be sold to repay the debt. The servant fell on his knees before him. Be patient with me, he begged, and I will pay back everything.

The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt, and let him go. But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred dinari. He grabbed him and began to choke him. Pay back what you owe me, he demanded. His fellow servants fell to his knees and begged him. be patient with me and I will pay you back but he refused instead he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt when the other servants saw what had happened they were greatly

distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened then the master called the servant in you wicked servant he said i cancelled all the debt of yours because you begged me to shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as i had on you in anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured until he should pay back all he owed. This is how my heavenly father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart. Love is patient. It does not keep a record of wrongs. This is the word of the Lord. We're looking at a, we're starting a series that I guess could be called a series on character or virtue, at least a lot of people would use. use those words out in our culture for what we're going to be talking about, but I don't think

it doesn't fit. Those are not adequate terms. We saw last week that Paul in the famous love chapter, 1st Corinthians 13, says that we must remember that morally virtuous behavior can arise out of a heart filled with deep spiritual emptiness. In other words, what Paul said, just a real brief summary, he says, people can live, they can be loyal to their families, they can be generous to the poor, they can be deeply committed to moral principles and to biblical principles as well, and the heart motive for that, the force for that, the dynamic for that, can be one of self-centeredness, self, absorption, self, interest, self-righteousness. So see, a character, morally virtuous behavior can arise out of a heart that hasn't actually been changed, that hasn't really been supernaturally

changed. Now, just to give you an example, how do we, in traditional moral training, how do we teach people, encourage people to be honest? How do we encourage them not to lie? Now, I go go something like this. We say, don't lie or you'll get caught. Don't lie or society won't work. That's a more humanistic approach. The more religious approach is don't lie or God will punish you. Don't be a liar. Liars are terrible. You don't want to be a terrible liar. All right. So that's how we train people. What's the motivation? What's the heart motive then that we're using to get people to be honest and the answer is the heart motive is the deep insecurity and fear that the heart is got. We're playing on the fears. We're saying, you don't want to be rejected. You don't want to be

caught. You don't want other people to think of you as a terrible liar, do you? Now, there's only a problem with this. It's a pretty big problem with this. And that is, yeah, of course, out of fear, you can harness the insecurity and fear of the heart to make people honest, but what makes people dishonest? Why do people ever lie? And the answer is they lie because of fear. You lie because you're afraid of losing approval or afraid of losing control or afraid of losing power or something like that. And therefore, in traditional moral training, you've only restrained the heart, not fundamentally change the heart. You haven't changed its character. The roots of dishonesty, which is the deep fear and insecurity, instead of dealing with it, you've just jury-rigged it so that it makes people honest, but it's artificial.

It's artificial, and therefore temporary. What do I mean by artificial? Only for a heart that feels absolutely loved is a lie unnecessary and therefore unnatural. Only for a heart that feels at that moment absolutely love. So it's not afraid of anything, disapproval or anything. Only a heart that feels absolutely loved, only for a heart that's absolutely loved, is a lie always unnecessary and therefore utterly unnatural. I'll show you a biblical text later that, you know, supple.

supports that. And therefore, it's only an experience of grace of God through Jesus Christ that changes the heart rather than restrains the heart. And each week, we're not therefore going to be looking at a list of virtues or a list of characters, though sometimes that's what it looks like. But we're looking at the marks of a supernaturally changed heart, which you find a number of places in the Bible. And we're looking at one each week for quite a few weeks. And we're going will be looking at how each one is cultivated in Christ. And the first one, now you know, the first one, Paul makes a list of these marks of a supernaturally changed heart. It was in the text that we looked at last week. In 1 Corinthians 13, he says, love, and the very first one is patient. And this word shows up

again in Galatians 5, another very, very important list of the marks of a supernaturally changed heart, which is one of the fruit of the spirit in Galatians 5. And patience is there. And patience is there. You find it in another list, especially in Colossians 3, we'll refer to later. Why do we need it? What is it? How do we get it? Why do we need patience? What is it?

And how do we get it? Okay, first, why do we need it? Now, in the very heart of this parable, I'm not going to be able to look at all the passages that we're read today, but at the heart of the parable, which starts at verse 23, that Jesus tell, at the heart of the parable is this word patience. It's right in the heart of it. And if we want to understand what patience is, we have to understand the parable. And the key to getting the parable, the key to under, I mean, this really changes the way you read it once you

understand it. The key is, the exegetical key, as it were, is the magnitude of the debt. You see? It says a king had some servants, and he was settling accounts with his servants. Now, right away, what do you and I think of when you see the word servants? You think immediately, of household servants or, you know, people around the palace. But no, this is not what, that's not what we mean by the word servants. And here's the key. It says, and he found one servant that owed him, look, 10,000 talents. Now, it's always a little difficult to translate sums. If somebody says to me, gives me a sum of money in the 1850s in southern France, and I say, well, how much would that be today. That's subjective. It's not that easy. However, and so this is subjective, too,

but you've got to keep this in mind. In those days, the ordinary working man, I guess they didn't have working women, I guess, but the ordinary working man, ordinary laborer, made a talent to a talent and a half in a whole year. And therefore, if you want to get a kind of, my guess is the cultural analogy for us would be, take the average person who makes $30,000 a year and multiply by $10,000. And if you, 10,000 times, excuse me, multiply 30,000 by 10,000, and if you're a liberal arts major, I can do this for you. Don't get out your palm pilot. I did it earlier. It's 300 billion. 300 billion. This servant, therefore, is not the cook. I don't care if, I don't care if he shops at Gristides.

It's still not going to be that bad. That's a joke. I can't believe. Don't, where do you shop? You know, it didn't happen on the east side either. I, you know, gee, kick, just get rid of it. But anyway, it couldn't be, this is my last chance, though, that's it. This is not a bunch of household servants under an emperor, under a king.

These are, under an emperor, people who are, are out there ruling over regions or provinces or whole countries. And what this man has done is either through gross mismanagement or, and we'll get back to this, this is a significant statement. So listen, gross mismanagement or corruption somehow has squandered an enormous sum. And the reason it's so, the other thing I have to realize is the reason is that it has such a dire effect on the king or the emperor is because in those days you didn't even. exactly have public monies. When Jesus pulled out of his pocket a coin with Caesar's picture on it says, whose is this? And everybody says this is the Caesar's. They were literally right. Because

this gold or the silver, the actual metal, the coinage was Caesar's. And the way it worked out was the emperor's actual money, his own wealth, went out to the provinces and it was used to build bridges and to build roads and to pay for police and to pay for military and so on. And then, of course, there were very heavy taxes, and the money came back in through taxes to the places that were using his money for all these improvements and so on and so forth. And what this means, Jesus has deliberately put a sum up there that was so big. Don't forget this is a parable. He made this up.

This isn't any particular historical character. But he creates, he puts in an amount that even if this was the emperor of Rome, to lose this kind of amount of money, could bring his very kingship into jeopardy. His ability to pay, his army and so forth. It could bring his very kingdom into jeopardy. But in spite of the fact that this servant has removed all this money, and in spite of the fact this servant has basically put his very kingship into jeopardy, one thing the servant has not taken away is the man's intercomposure.

Because the servant looks up at him and says, be patient. And the king forgives him. Now, what does this word patient mean? And it's a Greek word, it's a compound word. It's the word macrophemia. And unfortunately, the word patience in English is not compound, and I don't think therefore it really gets across as well as the old English word.

The old English translation of this word was always in the Bible, long suffering. And the word literally macro, which does mean long, macrophemia means literally to be long tempered, long temperate, as opposed to short-tempered, and the word Thumia has to do with a boiling feeling, and that introduces this metaphor. Mercury, at room temperature, loses its composure, right? It loses its composure, that's one way to put it. It's just running all over the place.

With most metals, you have to put more heat on them before they just run all over the place and lose all their composure and lose their shape and so forth. therefore macrothumia which is saying long temperate means this spiritual patience is the inner power to bear injuries without meltdown spiritual patience the mark of patience love is patient is the inner power to bear injuries without meltdown in other words things happen to you but they do not destroy your inner poise they don't destroy your inner joy they don't control you You are not made and controlled and affected and shaped by what is being done to you.

Heat comes on, heat comes on, but you do not melt down. Now, why is this so important? You know, Luke chapter 2116 in the Old King James Bible says, in patience, possess ye your souls. And that's why this is so important. Why is it so important? All right, to be suffering is to be a victim. I mean, you don't have to do anything to be suffering.

Suffering comes to you. Suffering happens to you without a choice, without your own personal choice. To be suffering takes no choice. But to be long suffering takes a very deliberate, active, bold choice. To decide to be long suffering is to say, I'm going to bear my injuries without meltdown. And what that means is you make a choice to bear the things that are happening to you. Bear your sufferings, bear your troubles. and as a complex choice.

Because to bear your sufferings means on the one hand to accept them. You don't bear your sufferings if you're running from them or if you're denying that they're there. You accept them. But on the other hand, you resist. You're not bearing them

if you're letting them make you fall apart or if you're letting them make you do things that you know are wrong. If you're letting them destroy your joy. In other words, to be suffering takes no choice, but to be long suffering takes a deep choice. To be suffering is to be passive,

but to be long suffering is to be active. And therefore, to take your life back, to possess your souls and patience. And it's a way of freedom. And I want you to know that in a life, in a world, in which suffering is basically a law of life, there is no more important trait

than the ability to be long suffering, to bear under injuries and sufferings without meltdown. However, in this particular parable, we have a certain aspect of long-suffering, a certain kind of spiritual patience, which is an aspect of the bigger and more general, because you see, the word Thumea can mean boiling passion in general, but it usually, in the Bible, means anger. And that is the context in which Jesus is using it, and therefore what we're learning about here is a particular kind of patience, and what is that patience?

There's a kind of patience that we're looking at. and that is the ability, the inner power to bear injuries from other people, to bear mistreatment and abuse and snubbing of other people without melting down into resentment and anger. That's what Jesus is talking about, a forgiving spirit. And let me tell you why we need this so much. See, I know what's going to happen. If I don't say what I'm about to say for the next 90 seconds,

and I go on and say, let me talk to you about how you can develop a forgiving spirit, the ability to bear injuries, mistreatment from other people without it letting you lose your inner poise, without it controlling you, without it carrying you along, without having you mel it down. Here's out of a forgiving spirit.

I know that an awful lot of you, maybe most of the people in this room are going to say, well, that's really not a problem. Right now, I'm not bitter with anybody. There's nobody I'm having trouble forgiving. Of course, I'm going to get this tape and give it to so-and-so, but I don't really need it.

And I just want you to think of this, don't be so sure. listen carefully Hebrews 12 15 take care lest any harbor a root of bitterness which springing up defiles many

take care lest any harbor a root of bitterness now that's an interesting metaphor why is anger called a root and there's two reasons it's a metaphor and there's two ways well what is the metaphor before I give you the two reasons here's the metaphor

imagine you have a tree out in your yard and you say, I got to get rid of that tree. So you cut down the tree and you uproot the stump and you say, it's gone. That's that. But the roots are there. And they'll be springing up. Why is anger depicted as a root? And here's, on the one hand, it's because you would, you understand this.

We can admit to others and ourselves, we can confess the sin of anxiety and of worry, lust, depression even not that it's a sin necessarily but we can admit anxiety we can admit depression but we cannot admit anger we hide it from ourselves we always minimize it we never want to admit how angry it is we are but the other thing about this root metaphor is that anger works in a subterranean way in your life it works in a subterranean way it works in a hidden way it's down there and you don't know it it's affecting you and you don't know it see that goes right along with this whole idea of long suffering, which is the ability to not have what has been done to you affect you? Well, how does it affect you? See, we minimize it because we say, yes, I've been

deeply disappointed in my parents and sometimes I've been very angry at them, but you know, that hasn't actually affected my approach to authority and other figures of authority. That hasn't affected my relationships with the opposite sex. That hasn't affected my attitude to a religion. Oh, no? say yes i was hurt by that person but that hasn't really affected the way in which i relate to people oh no here's what we're being told we always minimize just how mad we continue to be and how much when somebody really hurts us unless there is an incredibly thorough gracious action of forgiveness that i'm about to i'm about to describe the anger from what happened to you passes into you

and it twists you it makes you cynical it makes you hard it fills you with all sorts of prejudices that you can't see, and most of all, it inflicts a kind of low-grade spiritual fever of self-pity that goes on and on and on and on. It all comes because of that mistreatment. It all comes because of the snub. I'm over it, I'm over it. Yeah. Take care, lest any one harbor a root of bitterness, which springing up defiles many. look at the way this this parable ends one of the problems with parables is is uh interpreting parables isn't the easiest thing in the world and at the very end we see that god pardon me we see the king you know uh jesus tells us about the king and the king comes and says since you are not grateful

for what i've done since you have not forgiven your fellow servant into prison with you and notice what it says to be tortured and oh gee i mean i mean mean, as we're going to see, the king is a good guy, and he's a good model for us. So why in the world does Jesus Christ create a parable in which at the very end he's torturing the man? Well, you have to understand that you can't look at every single character in here as a real person. They're all there to, they're teaching illustrations, but I think this is what Jesus is trying to say. If you do not forgive, if you do not learn how to do it, if you do not learn how to keep anger when you're mistreated from passing into you, acting and affecting you

subterraneously in a sense in a subterranean way passing on into you if you don't learn how to stop that it's going to be torment there's going to be misery you'll be like in prison you won't be living a free life you won't be possessing your souls and patience okay so that's why it's so important now what is it what is a forgiving spirit and there's three things that the king does to the servant that I think are pictures of the three things that you have got to do when you're wronged, when you're snubbed, when you're hard. And we're not talking just about the big things that happen every couple of years where somebody really hurts you.

I'm talking about every day the snubs and the mistreatments and things like that. They're going to pass into your life too. They're going to pass in little roots of bitterness, little roots of anger, self-pity and cynicism and hardness toward other people. It's going to affect you unless you do have this forgiving spirit and here is what it is, three parts. Notice what he does to the servant. It says the servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt, let him go. Took pity on him, canceled the debt, let him go. Let's look at those three things, not quite in that order. The first thing is he canceled the debt. The first step,

the first aspect of a forgiving spirit is that you do not take revenge and you do not make the other person pay the emotional debt of pain, but you pay it down yourself. The first step or aspect of a forgiving spirit is you do not take revenge, you do not make the other person pay the debt of emotional pain, but you pay it down yourself. How would your life change if you no longer had to prove yourself to anyone? We often live as though our value depends on our accomplishments, the opinions of others, or whether we're meeting our own expectations,

leaving us trapped in a cycle of trying to measure up. In his short book, The Freedom of Self-Forgatfulness, based on a sermon from 1 Corinthians 3, Tim Keller explains how the gospel offers a completely different foundation for our identity, one that's free from insecurity and pride, and that allows us to rest in God's complete acceptance. This month, as thanks for your gift to help gospel in life spread the transforming love of Christ with more people, will send you two English copies of the freedom of self-forgetfulness, and one Spanish copy that you can share with a Spanish speaker in your life. Request your copies today at gospelonlife.com slash give.

That's gospelonlife.com slash give. Now here's Dr. Keller with the rest of today's teaching. Now, here's what I do not mean. See, the king canceled the debt. And this is what I do not mean, because we're going to get back to this in a minute. This is not teaching that if somebody has wronged you legally, you should not take legal redress. this does not mean that you let everything go.

That's not what we're talking about. Here's what I think we're talking about. When someone wrongs you, the premise of this point is, when someone wrongs you, it creates an emotional debt of pain. It's a debt. The debt that you feel,

a sense of obligation that this person owes you. You feel it. No matter what your theology, what your philosophy, what your philosophy of law, no matter what your worldview, you can't help it.

Someone has wronged you, and there's a debt. and it's a debt essentially of pain, emotional pain, and it's got to be paid down. It has to be paid down. It doesn't just go away. It has to be paid down. You say, what do I mean by paying down? Well, what most people do is they make the other person pay. Now, there's all sorts of ways of making the other person pay. And I have a list, but I don't think I'm going to take the time. I mean, you know, you can insult them, you can be cold to them, you can be harsh to them, you can be, you can withdraw your friendship from them. You can try to hurt them. You can hurt

professionally. There's all sorts of direct ways. There's some more indirect ways, which is you gossip about them, you slander them, you ruin their reputation with other people. In fact, there's even an indirect way to hurt people by not being direct with your revenge to say, I'm not going to take revenge on you. It would be beneath me. You know, it's just a way of indirectly, you know, despising them. Now, there is all sorts of ways, but here's the point. You want to hurt them. Why? because, let's be completely honest, when I inflict pain on somebody that hurts me, it makes me feel better.

The debt starts, I'm paying down the debt. The more I see them ride, the more I see them twist, the more I see them hurt, the more I see, in fact, I don't even have to do it if I see somebody else do it. Feel better. You know, I just need to, I have to get my pain debt down by seeing them pay. And it works.

and it works in the sense of slowly you feel less and less that person owes you. Slowly you feel less and less of that pain debt. You do feel better when you see them hurting and screaming and crying and upset and losing their job and so on. You feel better after why.

But it passes into you. The heat has come on and you it has passed into you. It has swept you along. It has melted you into its likeness. If you the other person pay the debt, you are changing. It is controlling you. I mean, I'm sure some of you,

you've been around, you know, I've made reference to this. It's not the biggest, it's just, it's such a, it was such an interesting illustration. I've thought about it all my life, but years ago, across the parking lot from the little church that I pastored, there was a family, and the kids used to come, the little kids used to come to vacation Bible school, and they wanted to come to our church. They wanted to come to Sunday school, but the parents didn't go to church. So one time I went over and I offered to bring them. And I said to their father, you know, we'd be very happy, you know, we've no trouble for us to have someone come over and just bring them across the parking lot, and then we'll bring them back. We won't make them go by themselves. And there'll be no inconvenience

to you because they really want to come. And I never forget how mad this guy was, the father, the husband, and he said, no, my father pushed his religion down my throat. My father made me be in church every single week, and my children are not going to church. And you see, in his mind, he's beating his father, isn't he? His father wanted him in church. His father wanted his grandchildren in his church, and they're not. I'm winning. Oh, really? His father's still controlling him. He is not deciding whether to go to church or not. He's not looking at faith in terms of, is this right? Is this right? Is this wrong? He's being utterly controlled by what his father has done to him. He's not looking at this, is this good for my sons? Is this bad for my sons? He's being

utterly controlled by his father. He thinks, I'm beating my father. He's beaten by his father. It's the only way his father will ever win and he has one we never ever want to admit it but when we make the other person pay the debt we are becoming like the evil that was done to us it's passing into us it's hardening us it's making a cynical it's it's creating prejudices it's distorting the way we look at things it's creating self-pity it's passing down it's rooting itself in you so the one thing you can do with a debt is you can make them pay for it and it works sort of But it'll change you. And the other thing you can do is pay it down yourself.

Absorb it yourself. You notice when the king canceled the debt, he didn't go off into thin air. He absorbed it, he ate it. And the other thing you can do with the debt, and you have to do it, and it's going to be hard, and it's going to be hard, but it has to be done. That debt will not just go away by ignoring it.

You pay it down. You say, what do you mean by pay it down? I'll tell you. Every time you want to rehash the past with a person, but you don't. hurts. Every time you want to rub their nose in it, but you don't, it hurts. Every time you want to be cold to them, but instead you try to be warm to them, it hurts. Every time you have a chance to run them down to somebody else, and you don't, it hurts. Every time you see them prospering and you refuse to

stick little pins in them in your head, in your imagination, and you don't, it hurts. And what are you doing? it hurts so much. It's costly not to take revenge. You are making the payments. You are paying it, but you're paying it down. And here's what's so intriguing. There's no doubt that the emotional debt of pain goes away if you make them pay. Eventually you feel better, and you have been twisted, and you have been warped. And you've been melted by the evil that was done to you. You've been misshapen. But on the other hand, if you refuse to bring the matter up to the other people and refuse to run them down, refuse to put little pins in them in your mind and all that sort.

If you refuse to do revenge of any sort, what's intriguing is in spite of the fact that it hurts, slowly, because you're not putting fuel in your anger, the anger will be going out. Depends on the size of the wrong. It depends on the size of the wrong. I mean, it might only take days.

It might take weeks. It might take months. It might take longer that. It might take hours. It might take very little. It depends on the size of the wrong. But here's what's interesting. When you pay the debt down, it goes down.

When you absorb it, you refuse revenge. It goes away. But as it goes away, you're free. It hasn't taken you out. It hasn't worked itself in. It hasn't misshaping you. It hasn't melted you. You possess your soul.

You're a free woman or man. Because you've forgiven. Your father, your mother, your boss, the other person, him, her. You've beaten them. You've beaten them with love, the only way to beat anything. So the first thing is forgive means, first thing for a forgiving spirit, refuse to revenge because you do not make them pay the emotional debt of pain. You pay it down yourself.

Secondly, it's shorter, but it's very important. The second thing it says is he was moved to pity. He felt pity. He took pity on him. Now, what a shame. This is such a wimpy English word for a great Greek word, and the great Greek word means to be moved with compassion for someone else's misery.

And this is extremely interesting and important. Whenever someone wrongs you, automatically I'll tell you what your heart's going to do. Your heart is going to stress the differences between you and that person. And what you're supposed to do, if you want to have a forgiving spirit, if you want to possess your souls,

if you want to have the inner power to bear injuries without meltdown, what you have to do is you, in your mind, you have to make a conscious decision to stress the commonalities between you and that person, not the differences. Huh? What do I mean by that?

Whenever someone wrongs you, the first thing you do is you create a caricature of them in your mind. You know what a caricature is? You know how cartoonists make people look ridiculous? I desperately hope

that I never get well-known enough to have anybody ever make a cartoon out of me and I'm sure there's people out there because this is New York who can do it. Don't you think of it? Because what you do... Of course, you know, you can have cartoonists who really are kind of affectionate toward the subject.

However, when a cartoonist wants to make someone look stupid, they take the worst feature on the face and they make it huge. You know, so you can't, the ears, you know, the nose or whatever. So you can't not see it. And whenever somebody wrongs you, that's exactly what you do in your heart. What you do is you reduce them. You reduce them to what they've done to you. You see them as one-dimensional.

You see them as caricatures. Now, here's what's interesting. When you lie, see in other words, you see them only, they lied, you see them only as a liar. They betrayed you, you see them only as a betrayer. Now, when you lie, well, it's a little different. Why? Well, you're complex. I mean, there's mitigating circumstances.

And besides that, yes, there are bad things, but there's good things too. You see, you're complex. You're a three-dimensional person. You think of yourself in 3-D. You think of yourself as a whole person, but not this person. You smack them down. They're one-dimensional. They're cartoon caricatures.

And here's why. deep in every human soul is a deep desire to justify yourself deep in every human soul we are afraid that we're not okay we're afraid that we're not valuable we're afraid that we're not worthy and what and let me that that deep fear which is creates this desperate need to justify yourself actually is behind all kinds of things is behind racism it's behind workaholism just to show you the range it's behind the reason why A lot of you see people out there who probably would be very wonderful mates, but you're never going to date them because they're not good-looking enough, and your self-image can't take marrying somebody who's overweight.

All of that is self-justification. I mean, this deep, deep, deep need to justify yourself rooted in fear is behind so much, and including that, it's behind whenever someone wrongs you, you think of all the ways in which you are not like that person. You say, I would never have done that. I would never have done that. Why? You need to feel noble. You need to feel better. You need to feel superior. And if you don't want to be actually melded down, mischapen, twisted by this whole experience, you've got to look at that person and think about the commonalities. You've got to

rediscover their common humanity. You've got to say, I'm a weak person. This is a weak person. I do stupid things, not the same stupid things, but this person does stupid things. I am fallible. I am week. I am confused. I'm a mixture of good and evil. So is this person. And if you do that, you'll get your freedom. And if you don't do it, if you refuse to do that, you won't. And the third thing. Now here's the interesting thing. The first thing of a forgiving spirit is that you don't revenge, you pay down the debt yourself. The second thing is you identify with the person, the commonalities, instead of the differences. And all that's internal work, isn't it? And if you do that, you're going to get a freedom. There's going to be a freedom. The anger will be beaten away. It won't melt you down.

It won't come into you. It won't distort you. Then you'll be free to do the third thing. No revenge. Identify with the person. Will the person's good. Have pity on them. And thirdly, it says, he let him go. Now, we right away say, does that mean, why would he let him go? I mean, does this guy not care about justice and truth and what didn't this guy do wrong? Ah, interesting, here's my theory, here's my speculation on this. The king doesn't know whether the loss, the incurring of this debt, was due to mismanagement or corruption. And because the king doesn't know, which it is, the king being a very charitable man lets him go. He deals with the personal side, right?

He's dealt with a personal side. He's looking with compassion on the man who's put his own kingdom in jeopardy and he's not paying him back. and he takes pity on the man. But what really led to all that? What's interesting is, right afterwards, the servant leaves, and he meets another servant who owes him, what? A hundred denari. Now, again, we don't know what that would be,

but it would just be a few dollars. I mean, a trifle compared to the 10,000 towns. And what's interesting, this guy does not, the first servant does not simply say to the second servant pay up. This is almost ludicrous. And don't forget, Jesus is putting us together. He chokes him. him. You owe me $50.

And here's a man who's just, you know, his life has just been given back to him. And what do we see? What does the king see? What does the servant see? This is a vile man. This is a vicious man. This is a violent man. This is an oppressive man. This is a man who's used to abusing people. And now that the king has forgiven him about the personal debt, into prison, he goes, because of the legal debt. And here's what people have always said to me over the years. They said to me, I don't want to forgive. I want justice.

Never pit those two things against each other. Because I'll tell you something, if you don't first personally forgive, you'll never get justice. If you try to say, I'm going to confront that person, I'm going to tell them the truth, I'm going to go after them,

and you haven't already forgiven, you're not going for justice. You say you're going for justice, you're not. You're going to hurt them. You're going to make them pay the emotional debt down. And I want you to know that if you haven't really deeply forgiven in your heart, if you haven't made yourself impervious to the anger,

if you haven't gotten that forgiving spirit, you won't really be after justice. And I'll tell you another thing, you'll never really achieve it, because that person is not going to listen to you if you're that mad at them. And if they can tell, you're filled with revenge. You see that? In other words, this is so wonderful. The Bible is so, the gospel is so balanced.

vengeance is selfish. You're not concerned with truth. It's all about you. But resignation is selfish. Say, oh, don't bother it. Don't talk about it. Don't leave. You know, just let sleeping dogs lie.

Don't rock the boat. Just forget about it. Just forget about it. That's selfish. It's not loving. It's not loving to let a person go on sinning. It's not loving for other people. It's not loving for them.

And therefore, the last mark of a forgiving spirit, it doesn't like conflict, and it doesn't avoid it. It doesn't do vengeance, but it doesn't avoid confrontation. And when you move out like that into the world, a world in which being mistreated and snubbed is going to happen to you constantly, you and you alone will be free. All right?

So those are the three marks of a forgiving spirit. So I would just like you to all get out there and do it, and good luck. And I wish you well. Oh, there's another point. how are we going to do this? How are we ever going to do this? I was talking to a man very recently who was

his wife has gotten extremely sick and he has to do everything for her. They're both pretty old and I mean he has to do everything and she's completely immobilized and he just is there around the clock and he's buoyant and he's sparkling and what's interesting is

every place they've been in every hospital, every home, every place, everybody's amazed by his buoyancy and his his supportiveness and his eagerness and willingness to help. Very interesting. I mean, you know, everybody's sort of, you know, the partner that hasn't been stricken is always there with the partner that has been, but there's something unusual. And I asked him recently why he was able to do it. How can you be so long suffering? What's the secret here?

How are you doing this? the same question could be asked to this king, you know. Because, freely, the readers look at this king, and this king looks down at this servant who has just brought his very kingship into jeopardy,

and he has compassion on him. And I think the average, once you know the magnitude of the debt, the average listener is looking at that and saying, this is impossible. There isn't anybody like that. Nobody can do anything like that. That's ridiculous.

But Jesus is pointing beyond, this king to somebody else. Of course it's incongruous, because the word, take pity. The king took pity on him is the giveaway. It's the Greek word that is used of Jesus Christ

more than any other word in describing his emotional life. It's used more of Jesus Christ than with any other figure. It's his word in the New Testament. It's his word in the Gospels. And here it is with this king. And you know what we're talking about here?

It is incredibly incongruous for that servant to be acting like a king. That first servant comes out and he chokes the man and he gets him down on his knees and then he won't forgive him. What right does that servant have to be a king? To be putting himself in the place of a judge. He has no right to do that. Jesus Christ is showing us in a mirror

what we're all like when we stay angry with people. Every one of us is like that. We're all like a servant acting like a king. What's the solution? We have to behold the king who became a servant. The ultimate king, Jesus Christ, looked down on us,

not just knowing that we might cost him his glory and power, but that we would cost him his glory in power. And he came to Earth, and he died on the cross, and the last thing he said before he died was to Telestai in St. John's Gospel, which is always translated, it is finished, but it really means literally in the Greek, it's paid.

It's paid. You know what? what this old man said to me? This man said to me, you know, the reason I can do this like this is because you don't understand the whole story, the big story. You got to realize for years and years and years, I was always the one that got sick. I was always the one that was overworked. I was always the one that was traveling.

And she was the one who was suffering for me and she was sacrificing for me. And she was doing so much for me over the years. It was just ridiculous. He says, I'm almost happy to finally have one little opportunity to show her what she means to me. After all she's done for me, I'm almost happy about this. You know what he did? If you look at it right here, if he had taken it out of context, just, oh my gosh, I don't have a life left. And he would have just sunk, but instead he put his little story in the big story. And in the big story, it had an incredible significance. Now why don't you do that? Look at what Jesus has done for you.

He didn't make you pay a bit. There's a debt. There's a debt. I don't know what you think of crucifixion tonight. I don't know what you believe in atonement. Maybe you say, I don't even like the idea of a wrathful God. I don't even understand. Listen, everybody deep in their heart knows when someone has been wrong, there's a debt,

and somebody's got to pay it. And Jesus Christ paid it. He did not take a penny from us. He paid it, he paid it, he paid it. And if you put that in this story, if you say, oh, look at all he's done. You'll never be long suffering unless you see him suffering. macro suffering for you, cosmic suffering for you. You'll never be able to pay what other people have done to you unless you see him paying the infinite debt. You'll never be able to pay the little debts off that other people have to you unless you see the infinite debt.

Put it in the story. Say, after all he's done for me, after all he's done for me, I'm almost glad for this opportunity, finally, to show him how much he means to me by forgiving this. that will change the heart that deals with the fear see collarsians 312 puts it perfectly this is it in a nutshell colashions 312 therefore as god's chosen people set apart and dearly loved put clothe yourselves with patience as god's people dearly loved already loved don't be patient and god will love you dearly love so be patient not be patient in order to be loved, but because you're utterly loved, you can be patient. Put yourself in the story, see the great reversal. Stop being a servant acting like a king by looking at the beauty of the ultimate king who became a servant and paid everything for you. And then you'll be free. And I don't know

how else you're going to be free in the world filled with abuse and filled with snubbing every day. Get this forgiving spirit. Let us pray. Jesus, we ask that as we go to the Lord's you would just help us with it, help us get it, help us understand it. We know that there are some people here who do not forgive because they don't feel forgiven. And there's some people here who don't forgive because they're not forgiven because they haven't asked for it because they haven't connected to Jesus. And almost all of us who are here don't forgive because we don't remember we've been forgiven. But now that's what the Lord's Supper is all about, remembering. So help us to Remember, we pray in Jesus' name. Amen.

Thanks for listening to today's teaching. It's our prayer that you were encouraged by it and that it helps you apply the gospel to your life and share it with others. For more helpful resources from Tim Keller, visit gospelandlife.com. There, you can subscribe to the Life in the Gospel Quarterly Journal. When you do, you will also receive free articles,

sermons, devotionals, and other great gospel-centered resources. Again, it's all at gospelandlife.com. You can also stay connected with us on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and X. Today's sermon was recorded in 2002. The sermons and talks you hear on the Gospel and Live podcast were recorded between 1989 and 2017 will Dr. Keller was senior pastor at Redeemer Presbyterian Church.