Timothy Keller Sermons Podcast by Gospel in Life - Love, Lust and Liberation

Episode Date: July 14, 2025

On the surface, one of the most unattractive things about Christianity to our culture today is its view of sex; but if you look underneath the surface and get a better grasp on what is really taught, the Christian view of sex is one of the most attractive things about it. In other words, a lot of people see the Christian understanding of sex as undermining its credibility to them, but when you look down deeper, I think you’re actually going to see the Christian view of sex is one of the evidences for its truth. Because Christianity accounts for how sex operates in our lives, in our relationships, and in our society. Let’s draw out four things Jesus is saying about this in the Sermon on the Mount: 1) there is such a thing as lust, 2) what it’s not, 3) what it is, and 4) how it can be healed. This sermon was preached by Dr. Timothy Keller at Redeemer Presbyterian Church on April 25, 1999. Series: The Mount; Life in the Kingdom. Scripture: Matthew 5:27-30. Today's podcast is brought to you by Gospel in Life, the site for all sermons, books, study guides and resources from Timothy Keller and Redeemer Presbyterian Church. If you've enjoyed listening to this podcast and would like to support the ongoing efforts of this ministry, you can do so by visiting https://gospelinlife.com/give and making a one-time or recurring donation.

Welcome to the Gospel in Life podcast. Today, Tim Keller is teaching on perhaps the most well-known sermon ever preached, the Sermon on the Mount. In it, we'll find Jesus' invitation to a radical new kind of life that is far beyond a guide to morality. After you listen to today's teaching, we invite you to go online to GospelinLife.com and sign up for our email updates.

When you sign up, you'll receive our quarterly journal and other valuable Gospel-centered resources. You can subscribe today at GospelInLife.com. Turn in your bulletins to the passage in which the teachings base. We're going through the Sermon on the Mount and today we come to Jesus teaching about sex and sexuality. Matthew 5, read verses 27 to 30. You've heard that it was said, do not commit adultery. But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery

with her in his heart. If your right hand causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It's better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It's better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell. It's God's word. Now if you're a first time visitor, what a wonderful text that you've chosen to come

and learn about Redeemer on and actually this is a and seriously if you read this text and that's all you know about what the Bible says about sex what Jesus says if you don't look at it in the context and we will and think about its meaning in the light of everything else you might look at that and you say this confirms everything I always thought the church is uptight about sex look at that and you say, this confirms everything I always thought. The church is uptight about sex. Look at this, you're going to hell if you lust. Lust! In this day and age, lust! What a negative view of sex! That is a very reasonable response. You read it, on the surface, but here's what I want you to see.

Here's what I want to see today. On the surface, one of the most unattractive things about Christianity is its view of sex today. But if you look underneath the surface and get a better grasp on what is really taught, actually, the Christian view of sex is one of the most attractive things about it. In other words, on the surface, a lot of people see the Christian understanding of sex as really being one of the things that undermines its credibility to them. really being one of the things that undermines its credibility to them. But when you look down deeper, I think you're actually going to see, I believe, that the Christian view of sex is one of the evidences for its truth. Because Christianity accounts for how we find sex, how sex operates in our life, how it

operates in our relationships, how it operates in our society. It accounts for it. Now let's see. Let's draw four things out of here, just four things that Jesus is alluding to or Let's draw four things out of here. There's four things that Jesus is alluding to or saying that we can draw out of here. First of all, these four things. We're taught there is such a thing as lust. We've got to establish that first. There's such a thing as lust and then we'll learn what it's not, what it is, and how it can be healed. Okay? There's such a thing as lust, what it's not, what it is, how it's healed.

Now, first of all, there's such a thing, but that seems obvious, but let's see what he's saying. You know, poor Jimmy Carter, our president Jimmy Carter, back in the, during his term in office, at one point he said, you know, perfectly sincerely and honestly sometimes he struggled with lust and for the next months, every Saturday Night Live sketch was about Jimmy Carter and his problem with lust. Everybody laughed at it. He was, you know, mercilessly ridiculed.

And it was largely, you know, the more sophisticated people who said, oh my goodness, struggling with lust. Grow up. We've grown up. We're in control. You see, sex isn't something that we're struggling with lust. Grow up. We've grown up. We're in control. You see, sex isn't something that we're struggling with. We're in control. And what Jesus is saying in this text is, oh, are you? Oh, are you?

In the New York Times magazine back in a couple years ago, there was an article which was entitled, Why Nobody Cheats Anymore. Now when you actually read the article, you'll see it's not really what it's saying, obviously, that nobody cheats anymore. However, it was a fascinating article and here's what it was saying.

It was saying, there's an enormous, our culture is enormously conflicted about sex. More than it was 10 years ago or 20 years ago even. And this is what it said. On the one hand, the article said, there's still a very strong cultural message coming through the media, a strong message and that is this. The affirmation of sex between any two consenting adults is necessary for emotional and intellectual health. You have to affirm that. Anybody who doesn't affirm that, that any two consenting adults want to have sex, unless you affirm that, you're not enlightened, you're not emotionally, you're not grown up. That's the one message. On the other hand, the article said, there is a growing

movement of people who are actually saying, you know what, we have tried almost an entire generation of that approach and it's creating all kinds of brokenness. And the whole article was about the fact that the New York Times article said there was a growing movement of counselors, a growing movement of books. Actually the opinion polls on the part of the youngest people, people in their teens and in their 20s is moving. And this is basically, here's what the article said,

we've tried a generation of this and more and more people are recognizing that the result has been an enormous amount, this is a quote, of disillusionment, bitterness, disease, broken families, ruined careers and fatal obsessions. And there's more and more talk about, hey, monogamy was a great idea. And here's what the article's saying though, nobody, everybody's stuck in the culture,

because on the one hand there's a considerably more sobriety about the fact that we are not in control, that sex is really taking us. In fact, the bottom line of the article is this, it seems like no matter how hard you run after sex, you never seem to be able to actually catch it. It never delivers. It never gives you what you're after. On the other hand, no matter how fast you try to run away from sex, you never seem to be able to avoid it.

Now what accounts for this? What accounts for the brokenness? What accounts for all the problems? Jesus is actually saying, what accounts for it is, not that you have too, that the world has too high a view of sex, but too low a view of sex. He's saying, you do not recognize its power. You're not respecting its power. This stuff about hell, which a lot of people say, oh my goodness, going to hell for lust, well, Jesus actually chooses, and there's a number of words he could use, but he chooses the word, one of the words for hell he chooses here is the word Gehenna. Now, well, Gehenna was a word for hell, but it was named after, it comes from, Gehenna was the garbage dump outside of Jerusalem.

And it was the place where you put your refuse, it's the place you put your garbage, it's the place where things that were rotting and decaying were put out there and they were burned. And that is an aspect of what hell is. That's the reason why it's there. So here's what Jesus is saying. Jesus is saying unless you learn to deal with sex, it is so mysterious, it is so awesome, it is so unique, it is so untamable. He says unless you do, and actually he's implying because we have too low a view of sex, because we don't respect its mystery and its awesomeness and its uncontrollability and its power, unless you get a handle on it, it's going to spread all sorts of decay and destruction in your life.

Your whole life is going to break apart. It's going to set you on fire. Things are going to fall apart. He says this is serious. And the reason we have the problem is that we don't respect sex because we don't really see what it is. We have an improper view of it. Now somebody says, all right, well what is sex? Well here's what the world's going to tell you, especially today. The world's going to tell you, first of all, sex is just another appetite. Let's not make a big deal about it. But that's just not true.

It's not true. There was another article in New York Times magazine which I saved called Safe Sex Lies and it was really interesting. It was about baby boomers who were in charge of MTV, in charge of advertising agencies, in charge of government agencies. And for the last three or four years, you know,

that they have been sending safe sex messages. And the messages go like this. They say, oh, you young people coming out of college are in college right now, listen, the day of casual sex is over, the day of spontaneous sex is over, the day of frequent sex is over, it's too dangerous now, we can't do that anymore, it's got to be over. And the article was about the fact that a lot of the younger people who are in college coming out of college really resent this and there were a number of letters that came in response to the article,

which just proved the article was true, and I caught a couple of letters out. But the letters basically went like this. The letter said the younger people saying to baby boomer older people who are saying, you know, casual sex is out, frequent sex is out, spontaneous sex was out, and they said, wait a minute, you had yours and now you're going to try to keep it from us. And this is what a couple of letters said, real frank, look, they said, this is our right, if we want it, dangerous or not, we'll take our chances.

Now that is not just another appetite. These folks are saying, you know, I've got to have this, okay, maybe it'll kill me. Let me give you an appetite. Sugar, let's say you're diabetic. The doctors come to you and say to the diabetics, you know what? Sugar is wonderful, you can't have any more, it'll kill you. Now what do diabetics do? Do they rise up and they say, you've had yours and you're keeping me from having mine.

And they'll say sugar is my right and if I die, it doesn't matter. I've got to have sugar. I don't care. I don't want to live another 30 years. I don't care about that. Now, the reason they don't do that is because if it's really an appetite no appetite is worth dying for you just say okay I won't have sugar That's not how people treat sex sex is far more important sex is far more powerful people have got to have it Gives them meaning it gives them a whole lot of other things

This is much more than an appetite. If you treat it like an appetite, you're going to be ambushed by it. Or if people say, well, it's just another part of life. No, it's not. No, it's not. Look at the pop, look at the, look at popular music. Look at the songs and let's, let's divide them into topics. Okay?

How many, how many songs are about your job? Now you know, listen, and people, people have never been more into their careers than they are now. But they're not singing about it. Why are so many songs filled with bad lyrics, bad poetry? You know, like I mean, I'll just pick on my own generation. You know, there was Petula Clark, okay? Famous song, you know? My love is higher than the highest, brighter than the brightest stars that shine every night above and there is nothing in this world that can ever change my love. Remember that?

Or Dan Fogelberg, you know, longer than there have been fishes in the ocean, said a little newer. Higher than any bird ever flew. Longer than there have been stars in the heaven, I've been in love with you. Why such bad lyrics? Here's the reason. You have to break into poetry, you have to talk about eternity when you're under the power of sexual love.

It's not that way with a job. You're not singing songs about the job, but you have to break into this kind of language. If you're an atheist, you have to talk about eternity. You've got to say, my love will never change. You've got to say, longer than there have been stars up in the heaven, I've been in love with you. That's how you feel. Why? You don't feel that way in a job. You don't sing about the job. This is not the same as any other part of life. This is not at all the same. We are driven.

We are pulled. This is far more powerful than anything else and it's going to spread out in all of your life unless you learn to deal with it. Look at beauty. This culture, you know, hey Jimmy Carter, we're in control. Jesus says, oh are we? Look at beauty. Look at the importance of sexual attractiveness. Those of you who are women know, especially you, that you're constantly being barraged by that and think of all the misery in your life over your looks. Why?

Oh, we're in control, aren't we? No, we're not. We are not in control. And men, listen, this hasn't been talked about. I haven't even seen an article about it. From what I can tell, because of the internet, there's got to be ten times more men addicted to pornography than there were ten years ago. There's got to be. Why? Because of sexual attractiveness, because it's pressed on us, because because it's so critical to us, because we're singing about it, because this is this is not just an appetite, this is not just another part of life. We are not in control. This has taken us apart. Jesus says unless you get control of it,

unless you learn how to deal with it, it's going to spread out, spread disintegration into all parts of your life, your life's going to burn out. And therefore there is such a thing as lust. Second point. Okay then what is it? Now first of all I think what we learn here is what it's not and what it's not is actually you know I say well where does it say what it's not? Well it's what it doesn't say tells us what it's not. Jesus when he uses this word very important word we're going to look at it positively but first negatively when he uses this word, very important word, we're going to look at it positively, but first negatively. When he says, anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already... What does it mean to look lustfully? Now,

there's some perfectly decent words he could have used that means sexual desire, but he didn't say that. And here's my... Here's this point. The point is, Jesus and the Bible does not define sex as sex... Pardon me, lust. The Bible does not define sex as sexual lust. The Bible does not define lust as sexual desire. It doesn't define sexual lust as sexual desire. It's not the same thing. Jesus is not saying sexual desire or even strong sexual desire or just a rejoicing in sexuality is wrong. He wouldn't say that. He doesn't say that. Because the Bible doesn't say that. In fact, the Bible's attitude toward sex is one of such barefaced, exuberant, direct,

rejoicing in the glory of sexual pleasure that it even makes New Yorkers blush. I've seen it happen and maybe I'll try to prove it to you right now. For example, go back to the beginning. First chapter, Genesis 1, what are we told? God made male and female. He made the male and female. What does that mean? God invented sex. First chapter and he does a benediction. He says, and it was good. First chapter, God invents sex and does a benediction on it. But that's not all. Second chapter, what do we see? God brings Eve to Adam and what does he say? He says, at last, bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.

But now get this, when Adam sees Eve, he breaks into poetry. It's the first poetic couplet. And the Bible is really saying exactly what we already said is the reason why we have so much bad poetry. 99% of people are bad poets, but we have to do poetry when it comes to sex. And what we have in the second chapter is this, naked Adam singing rapturous songs of love to naked Eve in the presence of God. And that's chapter 2.

You know, Martin Luther made an interesting point about this. The Christian understanding of the body is so doggone positive, he says Jesus Christ, who was utterly perfect, had a body. And the devil, who was utterly imperfect, doesn't have one. And this whole idea that sin is bodily or the body is sinful and it drags us down and the spiritual is good or the body is sinful and it drags us down and the spiritual is good and the body is bad. Well, how do you explain that? The only perfect man who ever lived, the most perfect being in history had a body and the

most imperfect being in history doesn't have one. But here, take a look at a place called the Song of Solomon. Song of Solomon is an extended love song, really a celebration of sexual love between a husband and a wife and its attitudes towards sexuality, well, just let's look at it. In chapter 5, pardon me, in chapter 7, we see the husband looking at his wife who's coming to him for sex, who's coming to him for lovemaking. And as she comes to him, he looks at her naked and he says, your stature is like that of a palm tree, and your breasts are like clusters of fruit. I will climb the palm tree and I will take hold of the fruit.

So right there in the Bible you've got a very vivid statement, a man singing for joy about taking hold of his wife's breasts. There it is in the Bible, no problem. But on the other hand, in chapter 5, we see the other side, we see a wife looking at her husband as he comes to her ready for love, making, he's naked. And this is what she says, she says, my lover, his hair is wavy and black as a raven, his lips are like lilies dripping with myrrh, his body's like a polished ivory tusk decorated with jewels,

his mouth is sweetness itself. This is my lover and this is my friend. And you say, well, that's not all that vivid. Oh yes, of course it is. A noted Old Testament professor who knows Hebrew and I know him too and he also wrote a book on this and let me quote him from the book. He says, when she describes her husband's body as polished ivory tusk,

most biblical translators of Hebrew cannot bring themselves to bring forth the obvious meaning in the translation. But the tusk of ivory that she is looking at is a loving description of her husband's erect penis. After all, this is a prelude to lovemaking. There is here no shy, shamed, mechanical movement under the sheets. Rather, the two stand before each other, aroused, feeling no shame, but only joy in each other's sexuality. This is barefaced rejoicing and sexual joy." Now, I'm not doing this for shock value.

Besides that, I didn't say it. I was just quoting this Old Testament scholar. But what I am trying to say is this, let's put this all together, let's put this all together, what we just said in that point and this point so we can move on. The Bible on the one hand says, if you say, follow your passions wherever they point, you are not respecting the power of sex you have too low of you but on the other hand if you're prudish say if you're prudish and you say oh sex is on is defiling and kind of dirty and so on you're not respecting the goodness of sex see and therefore you still have too low view

sex either the prudish view which has has sex as bad, squelch your passions, or the pagan view, which says, sex is just an appetite, you know, just follow your passions. Both are too low a view of sex. One doesn't respect the power of sex, one doesn't respect the goodness of sex. But instead, Christianity and Jesus doesn't say, squelch your passions, my goodness, he couldn't be saying that. He doesn't say that. He has every opportunity right here to say, sexual desire. Do not look with a woman with any sexual desire. That's not what he's saying. He doesn't say, don't look at a woman and admire her sexual beauty. He doesn't say that.

He could have. There's ways he could have said that. Because the Bible does not equate lust with sexual desire. It likes sexual desire. Because the Bible does not equate lust with sexual desire. It likes sexual desire. God invented sexual desire. But the Bible does not say, squelch your passions, nor does it say, follow your passions. It says, channel them.

And that leads us to the third point. Okay, sexual desire. If lust is not sexual desire, what is it? And the text tells us two things. Two very important things to know. What is lust? It's impersonal desire and it's inordinate desire. Now that is definitely here because first of all, let's talk about what I mean by

impersonal desire. He says you have heard it was said do not commit adultery, but I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully, now, let's stop. One of the things that is easy to miss when you're just reading this little piece, easy to miss when you're just reading this little piece, easy to miss this, back in the top of the chapter, Jesus says, your righteousness must exceed the righteousness of religious people. Remember that? I talked about that several weeks ago.

Jesus says, your righteousness, that means your way of living as Christians has to exceed that of the teachers of the law, has to exceed that of the religious leaders of religion. Then he immediately, as soon as he says that, immediately goes into six sections in which he says, You've heard it said, but I say. You've heard it said, don't murder, but I say don't even resent. You've heard it said, an eye for an eye, and I say love your enemies. You've heard it said, and he for an eye, and I say love your enemies. You've heard it said, and he goes actually even into chapter 6, where he's contrasting a narrow moralistic religious

view of something with his view. Now therefore in the beginning he says, when you've heard it said, do not commit adultery, he's thinking of the religious people. And he's saying, you've heard it said, as long as if you're married you don't cheat on your wife, then you've obeyed the sex ethic. And Jesus says, but, he says, I'm going to give you a more comprehensive understanding. I'm going to open this up. Are you looking for ways to grow in your faith this summer? Or are you hoping to help new believers or kids grasp the heart of the Christian faith? For many of us, the summer months can provide more time to deepen our faith and our understanding of what it means to follow Christ.

A great resource to start using this summer is the New City Catechism Devotional, God's Truth for our Hearts and Minds. This devotional brings the historic catechisms of the Christian Church to life, offering a question to consider for each week of the year. In the introduction, Tim Keller lays out the case for catechesis, the rich and communal practice of learning and memorizing questions and answers that frame the foundational beliefs of the Christian faith. Each week includes a scripture passage, a prayer, and a brief meditation that will challenge

and inspire you. The included commentaries are by contemporary pastors such as John Piper, Tim Keller, and Kevin DeYoung, as well as historical figures such as Augustine, John Calvin, and Martin Luther. This month, in addition to the New City Catechism Devotional, we're including a great companion resource, the New City Catechism for Kids, as our thank you for your gift to help Gospel in Life share the hope of Christ's love with people all over the world. So request your copies today at gospelinlife.com slash give. That's gospelinlife.com slash give.

Now here's Tim Keller with the remainder of today's teaching. And what he says is, but I tell you anyone who looks at a woman, by the way this works both ways, any woman who looks at a man, any man who looks at a woman, here's the point though. He doesn't say anyone who looks at another woman, so he's not talking just to married people. He's not saying to married men to look at another woman, nor is he saying another wife or a wife. A lot of people think, well as long as you don't cheat on your spouse and as long as

you don't cheat with somebody who's married to someone else, okay. She says no. He says, if you want sex with someone to whom you're not married, one more time, if you want to be physically one with someone with whom you're not personally one. If you want to be physically naked and vulnerable with somebody who you are not willing to be personally and legally and economically and totally vulnerable and naked. It says what you're doing is you are bringing into your soul something that will lead to disintegration, fire, you'll fall apart.

Now I'll put it this way, the Bible says sex is an integrative act and that means simply, this tells why prudishness and paganism is wrong. Can I tell you why? A prudish person is someone who says, let's have a platonic relationship, let's not get sex involved. You see, because the spiritual is good and the body is bad, they are splitting soul from body. They're separating the soul from the body, you see? But the pagan view is this.

The pagan view is, look, I would like to have sex with you but I don't want to get married to you and here's what you mean. I want to be physically one with you. I want you to be vulnerable to me. I want you to completely trust me physically but I want to hold on to my own life. What I want you to do, you see, at this point, is think of what Jesus is saying. If you don't marry somebody, if you say, I would like to have sex with you, but I don't want to marry you, what you're saying is, I want to keep, I want to be independent.

I want to keep my options open. I want to, in other words, I want to keep control of my life. I don't want to give myself to you personally. I want to give myself to you only physically. I want you to give yourself to me physically, but I don't want to entrust my whole self to you, which is also a splitting of body and soul. I want to give the body oneness, but not the soul oneness,

not the whole person oneness, not the whole life oneness. And so what's really weird is prudishness and paganism in their attitude towards sex, they look so different, they hate each other, they denounce each other, they write articles against each other, they're utterly the same. They will not see sex as an integrative act. They will not see the importance of keeping those things together and totally together. That's the reason why, let's see if we can put it this way, it is so critical for us to understand this. If you, actually what I probably should do is backtrack, no, better yet, I'll tell you what I can do.

Let me read you this quote from John White. John White's a Christian psychiatrist and actually when you listen to this, I can do. Let me read you this quote from John White. John White's a Christian psychiatrist and actually when you listen to this, I can tell you this actually explains my sex life. He says, immediate erotic thrill is the most superficial benefit of the sex act. The bodily exposure that arouses and accompanies sex can be profoundly symbolic and powerfully healing. It is healing if it's the concrete sign of what is happening in the whole relationship. The uncovering of my inner self,

the uncover of my deepest fears and yearnings, if I do that and as I tenderly look on the body of another and as I experience what it is to feel the tenderness of another's caress, then the one who accepts and touches my most intimate body and caresses it with tenderness caresses also my inmost being, or so it seems when all is right. So it only makes sense that sexual relations be confined to marriage for mutual disclosure and tender acceptance is not the activity of a moment, but the delicate fabric of a lifetime's weaving.

Each time sex springs from casual encounter, physical disclosure and touching without personal disclosing and touching, some of its life-giving and healing nature is destroyed. See, now what he's saying is, if when someone caresses and accepts my most intimate part of my body, if at the very same time in the relationship that same person is being utterly vulnerable to me and I'm being utterly vulnerable to that person and we are doing this in our relationship, he says then there's an enormous powerful healing that goes on. In other words, the physical vulnerability is a result of the relational vulnerability. But on the other hand, the physical vulnerability is also a stimulus

to relational vulnerability. And the reason I said, that explains my sex life, is this. If you really believe this biblical understanding of sex, sex gets better and better and better even when your body is getting uglier and uglier as time goes on. Because you see as he says, sex really becomes almost a sacrament. It's a sign of an invisible reality. God invented sex as a way for one person to say another person, I belong completely and exclusively to you. Then it is a sign of an invisible reality. But if you use it in any other way, it actually

undoes its power to cement and to renew your commitment. And therefore, lust is impersonal. Now why do I say that? It's very simple. C.S. Lewis says, unless you're willing to make a complete personal commitment to somebody from whom you're asking a complete bodily commitment, then you're really not after that person. You really don't want that person. You want an experience and that person's a necessary commodity. And you're dehumanizing that person. All the hearts, all the flowers, doesn't matter what you say. You're dehumanizing that person. You the hearts, all the flowers, doesn't matter what you say.

You're dehumanizing that person, you're using that person. They're using you, but it's impersonal. So first of all, he's saying, anyone who looks on a woman, you know, okay, therefore it's impersonal. But the second, lust is not just impersonal desire, it's inordinate desire. And some of you, if you've come to Redeemer for a while, you know something about this. The word that Jesus uses for lust here is a word

that's almost never used with sex. In fact, I went through 62 times in the New Testament that it's used. Only twice can I tell that it's used for sex. It's not usually used for sex. It's the word epitomea. It's a word that means literally an inordinate desire, an over desire, an idolatrous desire. This is a word that means to take something good and to try to get from it what you can only get from God. And if that's his definition of lust, that explains a lot. That explains why we need, that's the reason why we're willing to die for this.

That's the reason why we feel like we can't live with this. We don't want to get married because, but we've got to have it. It explains the reason why we're so driven by it. Because he says we're trying to get something out of it that only God can give. Now here's what's scary about this. It's very, very scary in many ways. First of all, it's scary because it's something that It's very, very scary in many ways. First of all, it's scary because it's something that conservative people, traditional value

people can do. Of course, we have plenty of examples of people who don't believe in God using sex, in a sense, as a kind of religion. Malcolm Muggeridge said that sex is the mysterium of the naturalist. And there's all sorts of examples I could give you of people who really don't believe in God at all, but admit, admit that sex is the thing that makes them feel like there really is meaning in life. Sex is the thing that really gives them a sense of the cosmic. Sex is the thing that really feels

apocalyptic. But if what Jesus Christ is saying is right, then here's the thing. You can be into major traditional values. You can be externally like the Pharisees, completely ethical sexually and yet in your heart you say, if somebody would love me, if I have this perfect little Christian family, and if I have the perfect spouse and the perfect marriage and the perfect children, if all that happens, then finally I'll know I'm somebody, then I'll be happy. And Jesus says there is nobody who's going to... If you are married and that's your view, there's problems in your marriage because of it.

And if you're not married, it could be one of the reasons why. Because you see what you're saying is like, just get this, if I get a beautiful person who thinks I'm beautiful, you're going to be looking for the most beautiful person. And you're going to be looking for someone who can find you perfectly attractive and loves you completely. And there isn't anybody like that except the one who is the real lover of your soul Jesus is actually saying Until God is a lover of your soul. You're not going to be fit to be a lover of anybody else You're either you're going to be trying to get out of romantic love that which only God can give you

You're going to be trying to get the self-acceptance out of it You're going to be because see Jesus the self-acceptance out of it. Because see, Jesus is pointing here and saying, here's the problem. What we do with sex is we think this will heal us. Finally we'll be somebody. Finally we'll have the security. If a really beautiful person thinks I'm beautiful, then I'll know I'm somebody. And Jesus is saying there's only one person beautiful enough, there's only one person who can find you and love you unconditionally enough

to satisfy what your heart needs and if you look at anybody else and you try to get that out of them, your life is going to be distorted by lust. Lust, inordinate desire. In a sense, sex is a signpost pointing to God and you're not supposed to sit under a signpost. My cat, by the way, whenever you point and I look at my cat and I say, go over there or look at that. What she always does, I go like this and she comes up and she sniffs the finger. Just like that. And she just stares at it. I said, no, no, no, this means we're all like that.

God says sex is a signpost, it's pointing beyond itself. Unless you see what it's pointing to, you're going to make a mess of your life. Unless you get that kind of satisfaction. Alright, well then lastly, how then, if that's what lust is, if lust is impersonal desire, if love is idolatrous, inordinate desire, then how can it be healed? Well, there's a principle and a practice. Here's the principle. First of all, the principle is this. Jesus Christ says, in a number of places, I'm the bridegroom. What an amazing statement. He says, of course he says I'm the king, but if he's just the king, if he's only the king, you know what goes on here? If he's only the king, then what that means is I'm trying to obey him.

And as long as you're just trying to obey him, and as long as you're in a sense trying to hoping that if I live a good enough life, he'll accept me, you can't ever be confident that he's looking at you and finding you beautiful. Only the gospel, only the gospel that says, it's not me giving God a righteousness and then He owes me, but God through Jesus Christ who lived the life I should have lived, died the death I should have died, Jesus Christ gives me a righteousness that I receive by faith and the moment I become a Christian I'm beautiful in His sight. Unless you believe in the gospel, Jesus might be your

king, He might be your for giver, He might be your example, He might be all kinds of things but He won't be your lover. Because you see the bridegroom sits at the bottom of the aisle and down comes the bride to see him and the bridegroom looks at the bride and finds her absolutely radiant and beautiful. Do you believe God believes that about you? To the degree you experience that, to that degree you will understand and deal with sex. It won't run your life. It won't scare to death if you put on some weight. It will make you bitter if you're married. It won't make you crush your spouse under his or her, under your expectations for him or her

when you do get married. And until he's the lover of your soul, there's going to be fire in your life. And it'll be sex. There's going to be disintegration. There's going to be falling apart. You've got to get that straight. Only he has really become vulnerable for us. He was stripped naked on the cross. Only he is completely committed to you and love you perfectly. Only he is infinitely beautiful. Only the way in which he beholds you

is going to really satisfy your life. He's the only one who literally can say, longer than there have been stars up in the heaven, I've been in love with you. Everybody else who says that to you, no matter how great it feels, is lying. He's the only one can say, my love is deeper than the ocean. I invented the ocean. He's the only one can say, my love is bigger than the sky. He's the only one can say, and nothing in this world will ever change my love. Everybody else who says that to you is a liar. They mean well. They can't help it. They're under the power of the signpost. They're under the power of sex.

Sex is a signpost. It makes you feel in the presence of the infinite. It makes you feel that there really is truth and beauty and, you know, it makes you believe all that. Of course. That's why they're saying that. But they're lying. He's the only one that can do that. You get that straight, then the practical, somebody's going to say, please, don't leave here without telling me something practical about lust Okay, I'll tell you do you think do you think it's an accident that he says pluck out your eye and cut off your hand Is that just being poetic? No, the eye and the hand are two different things first of all, the eyes how you view things and The eye has much to do if you want to deal with lust you have got to learn You can't just simply work on the will. You can't just say I won't, I won't, I won't, I won't. You know, you can't do the illicit thing.

You know, chain yourself to the mast. You know, and tell people just to row and row and row, don't listen to me. Now, that's not enough. You've got to change your way of viewing things. When Potiphar's wife came after Joseph back in Genesis chapter 39, she says, Come lie with me. What does he say? He says, Think of what your husband has done for me.

Think of what God has done for me. I cannot do this wicked thing. Now here's what he did. He looked at it in its true colors. And if you want to ever get over lust, one of the things you're going to have to do is when it begins to happen, you have to think about it. You have to say, this is worship. I am seeking God.

I am seeking closure. I am seeking acceptance. I am seeking beauty. This will never give it to me. Never. What am I doing? This is like, I'm like a man. I'm using man here because I think a lot of you who need to hear this are men.

I'm like a man who's thirsty and I'm eating pretzels to deal with it. And in a sense, change the way you look at it. But, on the other hand, there's the hand. And the hand means you do have to be concerned about your behavior. You do have to be concerned about where you are. That means avoid places of temptation. You do have to worry about your behavior. You do have to not put yourself in the way of temptation. If you only think behaviorally and if you don't work on your thinking cognitively, you're going to fail. On the other hand, if you only work on cognitive and you don't take yourself out of the way of temptation, you're going to fail too. Plug out the eye, cut off the hand, or the fire will spread to everything. Now, cut off the hand or the fire will spread to everything. Now, final application.

Three. Number one, don't forget we say every week the Sermon on the Mount is not written to individuals so much, it's written to a community. The Sermon on the Mount is basically trying to say as a community we should live like this. And I would like you to think for a second of this sermon and next week's sermon which is on money. The early church was a counterculture. It was strikingly different from the pagan society around it in this way.

The pagan society was stingy with its money and promiscuous with its body. See a pagan gave nobody their money practically, but gave everybody their body. And the Christians came along and they gave practically nobody their body because they had believed in integrity in sex, and they gave almost everybody their money. They were promiscuous with their money and self-controlled with their body, whereas the pagans were promiscuous with their body and way too self-controlled with their money. And as a result, they look utterly different. Historians will tell you, of course, that one of the reasons that Christianity spread like crazy is, think about this for a second, which approach

to money and sex is going to create good neighborhoods? Which approach to money and sex is going to help the social fabric? Which approach to money is, listen, which society would a kid want to grow up in? Think about your own life. Which approach to money is, listen, which society would a kid want to grow up in? Think about your own life. One of the reasons that women just flocked, by the way, into Christianity, away from paganism, was because they understood it as very pro-women. Of course.

So, listen, we're not talking just about individuals here. Are we the kind of community in a place like New York, which is very pagan in its attitude toward money and sex, do we look different? Are we just like they are? Are we holding on to our money? Are we spreading around our body? Number one. Number two, if you're single, keep this in mind.

If Jesus is the lover of your soul, some of you won't be as scared to move out and get married. One of the reasons why some of you have been scared to get married is because you're looking for an ideal, a perfectly beautiful person. That's why you're just ruling out people that aren't perfectly beautiful. And somebody who loves you perfectly, you're never going to get married that way. And one of the reasons is because it's lust. You're looking to other people to do what only Jesus can do. Jesus is the only perfectly beautiful lover of your soul. So here's what I suggest. Find somebody else who has Jesus really clearly as the lover of his or her soul. Get to know them and start

that lifetime work that John White was talking about of weaving your life together. And there's others of you who would love to get married. You say, I'm not afraid of it. I'm afraid of it. I'm just unhappy. Why am I still unmarried? And the best thing to remember is, if Jesus is the lover of your soul, as difficult as it's going to be, it'll probably be bearable. Because it really only his arms.

I mean, this is a dirty little secret. Most people are either unmarried or unhappily married, I think. So from somebody who's happily married, let me just tell you, it's never enough. Other happily married people will tell you, even when your marriage is great, it's not what will satisfy your soul all the way to the bottom. There's only one kiss that will, there's only one set of arms that will, there's only one

marriage supper that will. Then lastly, if you're married, here's a quick suggestion. Jesus is the bridegroom. Men, keep this in mind, you will never be a good groom to your wife unless you're first a good bride to Jesus. When Jesus is on the bridegroom, he's trying to get men under control. You know one of the reasons why women don't trust us guys? Because they have got very good reasons.

We tend to be tyrannical, we tend to be insensitive and you know why? You know why we're very very bad husbands in many cases? Because we've never been wives. And Jesus says I want you to be my wife. He says I want you to come under my power. I want you to submit to me. I want you to come under my power. I want you to submit to me. I want you to learn from me. And until you're a good groom to him, a good wife to him, you'll never be a good husband to any woman. Let him be the bridegroom. Until he's the lover of your soul,

you're not going to be ready to love anybody else's. And then secondly, wives, women. The feminists are basically right about this. There's a strong tendency in this culture for you to think, I'm only somebody if I've got a man. You know, feminists say, men are not your salvation. Now, what do they say? What do they say you should do? Well, they say career or something else. And Jesus says, sure, go from one addiction to another. He says, I got something better. He says, I'm your bridegroom, not your husband, and you'll be a lousy bride to him unless you're a great bride for me. Who would have ever thought Christianity up? Nobody thought it up. It has to be true. Let's pray. We pray, Father,

that you would make us a community in which sexuality is back where it should be. Sex is like fire. In the fireplace, unbelievable. Warmth, power, food, but help us to keep it in the fireplace. When it spreads out onto the rug, everything goes up. The only way that will be true is if we become a community in which people who have you as the love of our souls, Jesus Christ, because of what you've done for us, only those of us who have understood the gospel, but we then pray that after sex is demystified, we can really enjoy our own sexuality. We pray, Lord, that you would lead many single people here who want to be married into marriage, Lord, that you would lead many single people here who

want to be married into marriage. We pray that you would lead many married people into better marriages. We pray that you would keep us from the idolatry of romance and of beauty. And we pray that the world would look inside and say, I cannot believe what an amazing place where people are not prudes, but sex is no longer running their lives. Oh Lord, make us a community like that. We pray in Jesus name. Amen. Thanks for listening to today's teaching. It's our prayer that you were encouraged by it and that it helps you apply the gospel to your life. For more helpful resources from Tim Keller, visit GospelInLife.com. There you can subscribe to the Gospel In Life quarterly journal.

When you do, you will also receive free articles, sermons, devotionals, and other great gospel-centered resources. Again, it's all at GospelInLife.com. You can also stay connected with us on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and X. Today's sermon was recorded in 1999. The sermons and talks you hear on the Gospel in Life podcast were recorded between 1989 and 2017 while Dr. Keller was senior pastor at Redeemer Presbyterian Church.