Timothy Keller Sermons Podcast by Gospel in Life - Love’s Way With Others

Episode Date: June 8, 2026

This sermon was preached by Dr. Timothy Keller at Redeemer Presbyterian Church on May 5, 1996. Series: Love: The Way to Grow Up. Scripture: 1 Corinthians 13:1-13. Today's podcast is brought to you by Gospel in Life, the site for all sermons, books, study guides and resources from Timothy Keller and Redeemer Presbyterian Church. If you've enjoyed listening to this podcast and would like to support the ongoing efforts of this ministry, you can do so by visiting https://gospelinlife.com/give and making a one-time or recurring donation.

Welcome to Gospel and Life. 1 Corinthians 13 is one of the most well-known chapters in the entire Bible because it is read at so many weddings. The passage is familiar to many people for how it describes love as patient and kind, and that it keeps no record of wrongs. But these verses are not meant to be used as a checklist for good behavior. Today, Tim Keller looks at the deeper meaning of this passage and shows how it points us not to moral perfection, but to Christ and the transforming power of His love. If I speak in the tongues of men and angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or clanging symbol.

If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, if I have faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient. Love is kind. envy. It does not boast. It is not proud. It is not rude. It is not self-seeking. It's not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will cease. Where there are tongues, they will be stilled,

where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part. But when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child. I thought like a child. I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see, but a poor reflection is in a mirror. Then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part. Then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain, faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love. Now we've been looking for several weeks, and we're going to continue to look at this, the greatest passage in all of literature, probably, most famous passage, I should certainly say, in all of literature on love. And we saw the first three verses says it doesn't matter if you can do prophecies or miracles. Love is the most important thing in the world.

Let me quote from, and this is an extremely interesting quote, from David Koresh. David Koresh was a cult leader who led his followers. followers to a fiery death in Waco a couple years back. And in his teachings, this is what he says. He says, are you really a Christian? The apostles of old used to heal the sick and raise the dead. They were spirit-filled men. What about you? Do you do these things? Do you do these things today? How can these stupid churches talk about the spirit when they don't even do what the apostles did 2,000 years ago? So they sin against the Holy Spirit. They commit the unpardonable sin because they claim to be led by the Spirit when they're led by the devil.

Pretty interesting. How do you know you're a Christian, he says? How do you know you've got the spirit of God? You can heal the sick and raise the dead. This is exactly what Paul says in the first three verses is the most lethal, possible mistake. It's exactly the opposite. He says, my friends, you can do miracles. You can move mountains. You can have prophecies. But if you don't have love, it's possible to have all that and have not love, which means not to have God at all. In other words, the fatal mistake is to think that power, which is what David Kresh thought, was more important than love. It was obviously lethal. But now, having made that point, very forcefully, as Paul has done, and hopefully as we have done, how do we actually become remarkably loving people? How do we

develop? How can we be characterized by remarkable love? And what we started to see last week, and we have to continue this line of thought. So we have to review a bit and then move on. Paul does not get us into a loving mode by giving us primarily a checklist. Paul has not written to us, you should be patient, you should be kind, you should be gentle, you should,

he doesn't say that, or we should, but rather he speaks in a very different way. Love is this, love is that. In other words, Paul does not give us a behavioral checklist and say, Now class. If we just try a little harder, won't the world be a better place? We can do it? No, he doesn't do that.

The Bible is never so sentimental and unrealistic. He says, love is, love is. What is he doing? He's confronting us with love. Before, and this is the principle we started last week, and we're going to continue to press. Before you can do love, you have to have a head-on collision with love. Paul is first of all saying, look at it. not do it. He says, look at it, look at it. I'm going to show it to you. Before you can do love, you have to meet love, you have to encounter love, you have to have a collision with love. You have to be confronted by love. And only then will you be able to actually become loving. Now, the way Paul is laying out, I think, for us to do that is through three steps. We just began it last week, but now we're going to continue it this week. The three things that you've got to do. You have to meet love if you're ever going to become loving. First of all, you have to be judged.

by the definition of love, then secondly, you have to be embraced by the man of love. And only then you will you be able to translate his power of love into a loving life of your own. You have to be judged by the definition of love. You have to be smacked down by it. And then you have to be embraced by the man of love. And only then will you be in a position to actually translate his love and his loving power into a loving lifestyle of your own. Now, let's remind ourselves what the definition was. You see, when Paul says, love is this, love is that, he's giving you a picture of pure love, real love, essential love.

He's trying to confront you first. And we said, here's what the definition was. It comes to a head in verse 7 and 8, where it says love always bears up, always bears with, always trusts, always hopes, always endures, never fails. Remember what the definition was? If you weren't here, I will give it to you in a nutshell. And if you were here, I'll give it to you in a nutshell. If your love ever gives up on somebody,

it's because that person failed to bring you something you wanted. The only reason you would ever give up on somebody is if that person failed to give you affection or respect or approval or gratitude or compliance. You see, you'd only give up on someone is if what you really wanted was not them, but what they brought you. But if you love them, you would never give up. And therefore, what Paul is really showing us is true love

doesn't love the love that a person gives you, but they themselves. The definition of love is not wanting the joy and happiness that the loved one brings you, but their joy in happiness. They themselves are your joy in happiness. Or to love someone is to love them, not for what they bring you, but for just who they are, to value them and delight in them and enjoy them for who they are. Now, how does this judge us?

You have to sit under the judgment. I dropped it on you last week, but now let me show you how this judges us. In verse three, this definition, and this definition alone shows us how verse three could be true. What does verse three say? It says, it's possible to give away all of your money to the poor and not love the poor, and it's possible to be burned at the stake for God and not love the poor. love God at all. Not just not enough, at all. It's possible to give away all of your money of the poor, not love the poor a bit. It's possible to give all of your life in the sense of being

willing to die for your religion and not love God at all, at all. Well, you say, how could that be? Well, my old timers will remember this story, this illustration, but see how it, see how it illuminates this. The story goes like this. There was a farmer who loved his king, and one day he grew a huge carrot and brought it to the king and said, my liege. This is the greatest thing I've ever produced or ever will produce. I'd like to give it to you as a token of my esteem. And as he walked away, the king said, wait, what delight and joy you've just given me. I would like to give to you a double portion of your land. I'm going to double your land.

You will have twice the farm you had before. And the man went home rejoicing. And a nobleman heard this. A nobleman heard about it or overheard it. And the nobleman raised horses. And the nobleman said, well, if the king would give that kind of land for a carrot, what kind of land would he give if I gave him a horse? So the nobleman comes.

And he brings him a horse. And he says, my liege, this is the best horse I've ever produced. please receive it as a token of my esteem. And the king looked at him and discerned his heart and said, You disgust me. And the null one said, what? This is a lot better than a carrot. And the king says, oh, no, it isn't.

Because the farmer gave me the carrot, but you gave yourself the horse. I got nothing. You see, the farmer gave strictly out of love. He didn't give an oil. order to get something that he really wanted, the king was loved by the farmer, but absolutely not at all by the nobleman. Now, look, think about God for a second. Here's a person over here that's just giving God carrots. You know, a messed up person, a broken person, a person who's continually

standing up and falling down, continually sliding back and slipping around. And here's another person over here, extremely moral, incredible self-discipline, tremendous decency, goes to church all the time, gives money, helps the poor. God could be utterly disgusted with that. Why? Well, take a look at yourself. Why do you pray? Why do you give? Why do you come to church? To get a comfortable life, to get him to answer your prayers, to get him to let you into heaven? I can tell you this. You don't have a personal relationship with him at all. He's an obstacle. He's a channel. He's a means. And you know what? he may be disgusted because what you're really doing is not loving him a bit

the little person over here, the messed up person over here, giving him just a carrot may delight his heart. Don't you see how possible it is? And you see, it's the same thing with human beings. You can love not the person, but what you're getting. C.S. Lewis has a very... It's not, you know, I read these incredible C.S. Lewis quotes.

This is so pedestrian, and yet it just stuns me because he's right. He says, if you do someone a kindness to show him or others or yourself what a fine chap you are, to put him in your debt, and then to sit down and wait for his gratitude, you will be very disappointed. All natural affections are idolatrous and need to be purified. In fact, let me press you a little further. How do you know if you're loving somebody because you want yourself or others or the person to feel that you're a fine chap, whatever that? is if you get upset when the gratitude doesn't come. If your feelings turn away when the respect doesn't come, when the approval doesn't come.

If you give up. Don't you see, you can give your money the poor and not love the poor at all. You can give your body away to be burned and not love God at all. You can be doing all kinds of things. Somebody says, that's not true. There's somebody that I give to and I give to and that person never gives me anything back, but I keep on giving to him. Why do you give to them?

Why do you give to them? It's because you need to feel like a fine chap. You need to feel useful. Is that it? You might as well be using that person as a sex object. The definition of love judges us because in our hearts, every one of us wants to be loved unconditionally just for who we are. We are dehumanized when someone loves us for the things that we bring them.

We don't feel human. We feel like objects, not subjects. We need unconditional love. We need to be loved for who we are. And yet we can't possibly give it. We cannot but require it, but we can't live it. We have to feel the judgment of that. But then, the second reason that Paul does not give us a checklist and says, I want you to be patient, I want you to be kind, simply.

See, that's so beautiful about this. Love is patient. Love is kind. He personifies love. He gives us the picture of love. He has us meet love. He doesn't just say, now do it. first he says look at it and it's so it's so it's it's so multidimensional in its effects first of all it

clobbers us it just it judges us it shows us that we do not give we treat god the very way we refuse to let other people treat us when he doesn't come by with the prayers if he doesn't start answering the prayers what do we start to do what good is it to be a christian god looks at job and has an argument with satan and god says to jove has thou not seen like my servant Job, there is none like him in all the earth. Fearing God and shunning evil and Satan says, does God, does Job serve God for naught? Does Job serve you for nothing? Does Job serve you for you? And when Satan starts to take away a lot of those things that God has given Job,

Job's love just about gives out, because that's the human heart. We treat God in a way we don't want other people to treat us. We treat other people in a way we don't want anyone else to treat us. We are dehumanized by anything but other unconditional love, and yet when other people, when they stop loving us back, when they stop giving us the things we want, our loves just dries up. All natural passion, says Lewis, is idolatious. What's that mean? The very thing that gets our original love juices going, our attraction to anyone, and I'm not just talking about sexual here, are the things we see automatically, the heart immediately discerns what I can get to be connected to that kind of person, a person of that level, a person of that stature, a person of that attractiveness, a person like that. that. If I get their approval, if I get their fellowship, there's a lot in this for me. And this is the reason why there are other people that you have no attraction to at all, none at all. You can't see their value. You will not be kind to them. You will not be patient with them. You're patient with the people that you've got something coming from. And you're

utterly impatient with the people who you have to love just for themselves because we don't love people for themselves. Yet we demand that people do it to us. This is sin. Marriage is one of the most significant human relationships there is, but is also one of the most difficult and misunderstood. In the meaning of marriage, Tim and Kathy Keller offer biblical wisdom and insight that will help you understand God's vision for marriage. Whether you're single, considering marriage,

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Now, here's Dr. Keller with the rest of today's teaching. But then you see the second thing by Paul showing love is, love is, is he's showing us. I mean, he personifies love and you can't help but think of a person doing this. and what's so interesting is when you get up to verse 7 you get to the peak you get into some high theology i think in a sense because surely god surely paul is seeking to get us to think about the one who did love us always bearing always trusting always hoping and always enduring and you know what when you see jesus christ dying for us on the cross you've got high theology in fact you'll understand the incarnation for the first time why jesus love couldn't have been this

kind of perfect love, unless he'd been both God and human. See, as God, when he died for us on the cross, when the entire, literally, the entire weight of the universe came down on his neck. As it was bearing down, he said, Father, forgive them to the very end. As God, you can do, we can do nothing to enhance him. We can do nothing to him. We can do nothing to help him. There's nothing we have that he needs. nothing. If he was merely a human being, if he wasn't God, maybe he needed our love, he needed our glory, he needed our adoration, I need adoration, you need adoration, he doesn't need it. But on the other hand, if he hadn't been a human being, he wouldn't have had to trust to the end. He had a trust. He wouldn't have had to endure to the end. It was because he became human, because he became

physical, because he became vulnerable. here's the one who finally did the very thing that we most want. Let me ask you a question. Why in the world do human beings? Now this is a very difficult philosophical question to answer if you're not a Christian. In fact, I don't think you can answer it. Why do human beings have this absolutely ridiculous irrational impulse? We want to be loved unconditionally for who we are,

and yet there's nobody in the world that can do it. Nobody has ever done it. Nobody can do it because look at yourself. They're like you. You can't do it. why would we insist on having it why do we have to live for it why is it that it's the most important thing to us why would we have such an irrational impulse it's because it's not irrational because we have in us really it's not irrational it's a memory trace of one who can love us like this it's a

memory trace of the smile the loving eyes of our creator who's become our redeemer i guess look at him doing this. This is what you're after. This is what you're trying to... This is what C.S. Lewis in Scrut tape letter says, most of what people call... Most of what human beings call love is really hunger. Well, you're trying to get out of the other people

can only be gotten here. Now, here's the question. Okay, somebody says, but how do you translate that? And I think the secret is in verse six, where it says, love rejoices with the truth. Now, I am so glad that the new international translation of the Bible, which we have there, was willing to translate it literally pretty close. Almost every other translation moves away from it.

They say rejoice in the truth or loves the truth or insists on the truth. A lot of them say insists on the truth or something like that. That's not what it says. In fact, as you're moving along, this is another example of how this is not a behavioral list. It's not a checklist. It's not simply things I can do. You know, I have to be patient. I have to be kind. Suddenly you get up where it says it rejoices with the truth.

And the commentators, when they read the Greek text, they're very confused, most of them, many of them, because it literally says love sings along with the truth. The truth is singing already. The truth is rejoicing already. And it's my job. Love comes alongside and sings along with it. And one commentator actually says, how in the world can the truth rejoice? But you see, now sometimes the word truth means truth in general, all true things, but there is a sense in which the Bible talks about truth as a message that has a power of its own. That's a living thing. Where Paul says, I'm not ashamed of the gospel, it's the power of God to salvation. Where Paul says in Colossians 1-6 that the gospel is bearing fruit in you and growing and has since you understood the grace of God and all its truth. In other words,

the gospel is what? That, for the gospel. For the love of me, Jesus lost the love of the Father. Because I couldn't love, because I could not give other people what I owe. I could not give the love I owe. For the love of me, Jesus Christ, lost the love of the Father, that the Father, because he paid for a penalty, could love us. That's the Gospel. And what is the Gospel?

When you delight in that, it doesn't just mean believe it. Some of you have heard of it all your life, but you never sung along with it. When you delight in that, that begins a transformation. It starts you into the Christian life. It makes you a Christian, but Christian friends, it's the thing that you need today to deal with the lack of love in your life today and tomorrow. Rejoicing with the truth. One of the things is interesting about Redeemer, if you're out there in the congregation singing along, you'll ever so often, you'll be standing or sitting next to somebody behind you, around you, in front of you,

who's singing the lights out because we have school. of professional singers, and we've got a pretty good handful of literally world-class singers, and sometimes you're out there singing, suddenly you hear this incredible voice. How do those voices get so incredible? You know the joke around New York. How do you get to Carnegie Hall? Practice, practice, practice. They get out the music, and they don't just learn the music.

They practice it, and they practice it, and they practice it until the music passes into them almost, I think. What does it mean to rejoice in the truth? With the truth. It means the gospel's already singing. You get out its music and you sing along. Can I show you how to do that? For example, let me get out your score. Now, this is a discipline.

Let me get out a score. One of my favorite scores is Isaiah 49, verses 15, 16, and 17. In Isaiah 49, 15, it says, Can a mother forget the baby nursing at her breast? She will forget, but I will not forget. thee. Now, you know what that says? Mothers, I hate to, can I tell the secret? I mean, this is a dirty little secret.

Mothers do get something out of their infants, and your love for your infant can fail. In fact, God says it will fail. It is not pure. It's not perfect. The demands of that infant can get you to the end, even of mother love. Mother love, of all things. He says, mother love isn't perfect. Mother love isn't pure. Mother love will fail, but not my love. I love you for who you are. I love you infinitely. I love you to the bottom.

My love will never fail. Then you can go down to verse 16. It says, I've engraved you on the palms of my hands. You know, tattoos. You've heard of tattoos. You can't get off. But you don't put anything on the palm of your hand. There's nothing you want to see that often.

But there is something that God wants to see that often. And it's not just tattooed. It's engraved. Then you go down to verse 17. And it says that he will wear us like a bride, wears her ornaments. We are his pride. We are his joy.

Boy. Now, what are we talking about? Do you know, as we're talking, as we're thinking about that, is there, do you just say, well, I know that? Or do you find yourself being able to sing it? Now, if you are able to sing it, if you're able to rejoice with it, two things happen. The first thing that happens and the second thing that happens. The first thing that happens is something grows in your relationship with God. It is changed. It is something unique. And something changes in your relationship. with other people and it's unique. What happens in your relationship with God is this. Jonathan Edwards, the great theologian,

I quote because I'm reading his stuff, getting ready for these sermons each week. Jonathan Edwards points out that the way you can tell a Christian from a religious person is that the Christian finds as he grows, as she grows, adoration. So the more you sing the gospel, there's a huge change that happens.

You get put in the place of the farmer, nobleman, you get yourself put into a spot where there's nothing else that God's got more than he himself that you want. And so, as Edward says, a real Christian is somebody who finds that adoration becomes a bigger and bigger part of your Christian disciplines. You don't go to God to get things. You go to God to get God. And Edward says one of the signs of this is only Christians love to look at God's attributes, especially his holiness. And there's this interesting passage where Edward says, why is it that nobody but a true Christian whose heart's been changed by grace

loves to look at God's holiness because holiness doesn't do a thing for you? His power does. His wisdom does. His love does. His grace does. All those things are benefits for you. But His holiness is of no help to you at all. Is of no benefit to you.

It's nothing really, but in a sense of demand. But why is it that a Christian can love the holiness of God? Because it's just him. And if you don't find yourself getting into the position of simply enjoying him for his own sake, for his holiness's sake, if you don't find yourself getting in a position of wanting him more than the things that he can give you, getting a sense on his heart, a sense of the loveliness of his holiness, The amiableness of His Holiness. Now, is what I'm talking about nonsense?

You say, well, I go and pray to God when I'm in trouble, and I ask for things, and I even praise God, but what are you talking about? You don't know what the farmer really feels, do you? You only know what the nobleman really feels. You've got to come to the gospel and say, because I can't give the love that I owe, for the love of me, he lost the love of the Father so that the Father could love me. You've got to go to that until it changes you. But Christian friends, the more you sing the gospel, you get out the scores and you sing it, the more you will find yourself going to God and finding that you forget to petition anymore.

You go in there and you say, when you love somebody, you just want to be with them. When you love somebody, you look at them for what they are? When's the last time any of you actually sat and just adored his sovereignty, the fact that he's in total charge of everything? He's holy, that he's utterly without sin, and he's utterly pure. Do you find that ever something that just warms your heart, draws your heart out toward him, the loveliness of it? This is why Edward says, only a heart changed by the grace of God can love him for his own sake can give him what you want yourself. But you know what that's going to do to you? The more you do that, when you look at this list, do you know what verses four to seven finally is a behavioral list?

Did you know that? It really does give you a list of things that you should do. But I noticed that it breaks into two basic things. First of all, it tells you you have to be patient and kind, but secondly, it tells you you have to confront. It says love rejoices not with evil. You see that? It refused to let somebody do something wrong. If you love somebody and you see them doing something wrong, doing something that messes them up, you confront them, you tell them.

But you only ever do it without rudeness. You see all the little words? Without pride? with complete patience, with utter kindness? Now, listen, without the grace of God, and to some degree, everybody in this room, including Christians, don't have the grace like they should. Without the grace of God, you can be patient and kind, but you won't confront, or you can be very confront of, but you won't be patient and kind. You know why? If you're the patient, kind person, like me, who hates to confront, it's because you don't really love them for their own sake. You're patient and kind because

you like their approval. You don't want them to be. You don't want them to be. be upset with you. But on the other hand, if you're confronting them, but you tend to do it with rudeness and abrasiveness and harshness, you don't love them, you're not confronting them for their own sake either. You're not thinking of them. You're getting it off your chest. Only when you experience someone loving you utterly for who you are, are you, only when you experience the deepest needs of approval from God, are you able to look out there and say, I don't need their approval? Here's the irony. you don't, until you say, God, I can't please you anymore, only then do you begin to do so. Only when you say, Lord, there's nothing I can give you.

Do you actually begin to please him? Do you actually begin to do things that make him feel love that actually love him? And it's not until you look out at the people and say, I don't need your approval anymore, that you can begin to love them for who they are and not what they do. And the way you'll know it is all of the list happens at once. The whole list, four to seven, all the way through that you find, those. Those of you, like me, who kind of are real sweet and nice, but you don't like to confront, and those of you, like some other people I know, who are very confront of, but who are

certainly not going to be very kind and sweet and patient forever and ever, you will find yourself becoming like Christ, because both of us, both us, love without truth and truth without love people, truth without love isn't really truth. Love without truth isn't really love. We're not doing it for them, but when we're free from them, we're free for them. And this is what Jesus can give you. It says in Hebrews 212 that he sings in the midst of the congregation. Do you know that?

Have you ever had that wonderful experience? I mean, if you're, this doesn't have, if you ever sit in front of somebody behind you, somebody who sings for the Metropolitan Opera or something who comes to the Redeemer and sit right behind you. And if you're a baritone, he's a baritone, or you're a soprano, and you're a soprano, and you get out the same music, and you open your mouth, and suddenly,

heaven can hear you because that person is singing right through you and you're singing better than you've ever had been in your whole life don't you understand if you say i see the love that i cannot give it drives me to the man of love and by rejoicing the truth every day rejoicing the truth as i stand before the person that's hard to love jesus christ sings through me to this person love never fails let's pray our father as we We go to the table, help us to see the tokens of the love that did not fail us so that we can begin gradually, bit by bit, to give the love that does not fail. We ask it in Jesus' name. Amen. Thanks for joining us here on the Gospel and Life podcast.

If you were encouraged by today's teaching, you can help others discover this podcast by rating and reviewing it. And to find more great gospel-centered content by Tim Keller anytime. Visit gospelonlife.com. Today's sermon was recorded in 1996. The sermons and talks you hear on the Gospel and Life podcast were recorded between 1989 and 2017 while Dr. Keller was senior pastor at Redeemer Presbyterian Church.