Tin Foil Hat With Sam Tripoli - #517: Seven Generations Ahead with Marissa Baumgartner

Starting point is 00:00:00 Tinfoil Hap. Oh, what the fuck are you guys who we're talking about? Global controls will have to be imposed. And a world governing body will be created to enforce them. Welcome to Tinfoil Haft. We go deep, home boy. Eric, open your mind. Drink from the fountain of knowledge. There's lizard people everywhere. Eric, open your mind. Drink from the fountain of knowledge. There's lizard people everywhere.

Starting point is 00:00:30 That's some interdimensional mind. Wake up, Aaron. This is only the beginning. There, you just move my mind. Good! Good! Morning to, you just put my mind. Good! Good! Morning Swarm and welcome to Tim Fall Hat. You know I am, you know I'm here to do? I'm here to...

Starting point is 00:00:53 That's right, we are rocking. It's the fifth anniversary show of TinFall Half, December 13th, 2016. The first show ever with my brother from another mother, Mr. Eddie Bravo. And here we are five years later. I can't thank you guys enough. I know we had the big 500 coming up and, you know, it was a huge success and, you know, here we are, yeah, celebrating another milestone. Five years in the game, still in the top 75 on comedy,

Starting point is 00:01:26 iTunes, on Apple podcast, comedy, which is really hard to do. It's really hard to do to stay that long up there and it's because of you guys. And you know, I meet with you guys all the time when I'm on the road. And again, like I always say, I would love to meet with all with you all and sit with you for an hour each and talk, anything. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to to to th, th, th, th, on, th, on th, on th, on th, on th, on th, on th, on the th, on the the the the their their the the the their their their, on, on, on, on, on, on their, on, on their, on their, on their, on their, on, on Apple, on Apple, on Apple, on their, on their, on, on their, on the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, on their, on their, on their, on their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thoomp. their their, on, on, on, on, on, say, I would love to meet with you all and sit with you for an hour each and talk anything you want to talk about. I just unfortunately, that would take a couple days based on how many people come and see me and I'm so blessed. You've changed my life. You always say to me, you've changed my life.

Starting point is 00:02:02 You know, you've changed my life. I was just a dude wondering if I'd wait a waste of my life doing drugs and not ever really getting a shot that I thought my talent deserved and you know, and we started this little journey because the podcast I did before you know, ended abruptly and I just wanted to do something I enjoyed to talking about and it was aboutacies, and you all know why I picked Tim Fall Hat's because it was such a demonized phrase. So I said, you know, let's own it, and here we are five years later. And I want to thank off-the-grid Ryan, who's not here. I want to thank Xavier Guerrero for showing up when no one of the best interns we've ever had. Without you guys, none of this is possible.

Starting point is 00:02:46 Without the swarm, I would just be talking to myself. You have changed my life. You have allowed me to provide for my daughters, and I am eternally grateful for that. I will always work my ass off to put on the best shows possible. I know that sometimes I talk a little too much but I get excited but I am trying my hardest to be the best host I can and give you the most interesting show you can. There's a lot of conspiracy shows out there and guess what there's not enough. I'm always happy when I hear about a new conspiracy podcast.

Starting point is 00:03:17 I love to help everybody and I know this show has influenced a lot of people to start their own podcast which I love. So I'm so happy the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. the. the. the. the.o.o.o.o.o.oes.oes.oes.oes.oes.oes.oes.oes. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. their own podcast, which I love. So I'm so happy. The more the merrier, they can't silence all of us. And even during all the shadow banning, you guys have followed me here, here, here to my website, to Rockfin. Wherever I go, you guys come and that means a lot to me, and it's a symbionic relationship. I love you, you know, we're basically Barney. That's what I that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the their. that's their. I I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I's. I'm. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. thi. th. thi basically Barney. That's who we are. That's what I heard. Yeah. And that's how we're gonna do it. So without you, this wouldn't be possible. So here's to another 500 episodes.

Starting point is 00:03:54 Here's to another five years together. You know, I just, I know there's a lot of conspiracy podcasts they're talking about. the thanks the conspiracy. I there there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's thi thi thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I know, I know, I know, I know, I thi. I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I tho. I tho. I tho. I th. I's th. I's th. I's thi. I's thi. I thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. thi. thi. that. that. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th're all talking about the same thing. So I just want to get as weird as possible, you know, and I want to do as different as possible. Congress, dude. Thank you, and thank you. And thank you. I thank you. Now, I love you guys. A lot of people go.

Starting point is 00:04:12 You know, you guys have stayed. And hopefully, this is the only today, th, th, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th, th, the, to, to, th, to, th, the, to, to, to, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I, and, and I'm, and I'm, and to, and th. th. And, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, the, the future. But it is what it is and I love you guys very much. The only thing I want to tell you guys they got some exciting shows that are coming out on Wednesday, this Wednesday. I'm with Brian Callan in Ventura. I'm doing a two, the Dragons of Comedy show and they supposedly might be a special guest on by, so go to my website for that. It's at the Sixth Club.

Starting point is 00:04:47 Check that out. Then I want to make sure you all know, January, it's the Hammer of the Gods Tour is dropping the Hammer of the Gods Tour. And it is kicking off in San Luis Obispo. That is January 13th. I'll be there with my friend Zane Helberg. Then the following week, I am in Buffalo with Howie Doe from Cash Daddies. And then finally, the

Starting point is 00:05:12 final week of the year, we are of January. We're having our first ever Tim Fulhack comedy night of 2022 that's at Harvel's in Long Beach, two shows for it says there's only 60 tickets, it's not there's 160 tickets, they are moving quickly, okay and it's it's at Harvels just go to Sam Tripoli.com Eddie Bravo this guy right here Johnny says he's come to Long Beach and then we're where we have two shows we have a comedy show then we have Swarm Tank and then the the following night tho the night the night the night the night the f f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. tho. there's there's there's there's there's there's is is is is is is is there's is there's is there's is there's is there's is there's is there's is there's is there's is is there's is there's is there's is is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I I I I I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I'll. I'll. th. th. th. th. th. the. tho. tho. the. tho. the. the. the. the. the. there. the th. the th we have two shows, we have a comedy show, then we have Swarm Tank, and then the following night, we are in Bakersfield, okay? And we're running it back again at the well,

Starting point is 00:05:50 very excited, there with Daniel Betts. And it's gonna be a great weekend of conspiracy and comedy, so I hope you can join us all tickets at Sam Triply. That's all I wanted to say in this very special episode. I love you all very much. Thank you for your support and enjoy. The show is with Marissa Bum Gardner, Bum Gartner. And it's a wonderful conversation about the treatment of the indigenous. And let me tell you something, when you listen to what she's talking about, tel that's not the exact same thing that's doing being done to white, middle and lower class America as we speak so we are more alike than we are different and this has been

Starting point is 00:06:32 this is an amazing show for an amazing five-year anniversary show thank you guys so much enjoy the show. You go deep home boys. Open your mic. Drink, fun the foe. All right, so let's get into where? What a wonderful way to celebrate the five year anniversary of the show is to get into something I'm very passionate about and that is indigenous rights.

Starting point is 00:06:59 I feel like we don't talk about that enough. And I hope indigenous is an okay term to use it. I'm not very into, I'm not into political correctness. But. thiiiiiii. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, th. to, to, to, the right, to, to, to, to, to, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from, from from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, to, the right, the right, the right, the right, the right, the right, the right and I hope indigenous is an okay term to use it. I'm not very into, I'm not into political correctness but with this topic I kind of just want to show a little love and respect. I think it's very important and I don't think we do it enough. So I'm very excited. This young lady, her and her husband came up to my hotel room, I know it sounds weird, but it was they had come to my show the show the show the show the show th. their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th my hotel room. I know it sounds weird, but it was they had come to my show and they, the line was out the door because you know I crush it and I was getting I was getting waffles and they're like hey man we saw you I'm like oh cool they're like hey we wanted to get a shirt but the line

Starting point is 00:07:34 was around the block and I said come up to my room and I'll give you some shirts so they came up and we just started to to to the the their their their their their their.. their. the and we kind of got into their backstory and our guest history and she has a great podcast she's going to tell us a little bit about so I'm very excited to have her on. Please welcome Marissa Bum Gartner. How are you? What's up guys? I'm doing good.

Starting point is 00:07:58 Good to see you and yeah, it was awesome being at your show and then randomly getting to meet you that day. I was very particular about what hotel we were going to be staying at. It took me days to decide so I was like, hey, I chose the right one. You're welcome. My husband's obviously the big fan here. Big, big tinfoil hat fan. So it was really awesome. Why that hotel? Was it the breakfast? Well, I have to eat gluten free. So the breakfast, it wasn't the breakfast for me. I couldn't even have any waffles, which is a big bummer. But I don't know, it just looked classy and nice. And I liked the pictures of the lobby that they had, I guess.

Starting point is 00:08:38 I don't know. That's why when you take a woman out, it's like the food is important. But it's, but it's also, the the the the, the, the, it's like the food is important, but it's also the like ambience is like, that's why like cheesecake factories killing it, right? Whoever books your hotels is usually killing it. Yeah, that's Dana. She's good at that. Sometimes it's like comedy clubs. But anyways, move right along.

Starting point is 00:08:59 You guys came out to my room. Was it all the magic you thought was going to be going to go, to go, the entertain, to go, to be, to be, to be, the, to be, to be, to be, the, to be, to be, to, the, the, to, the, the, the, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, they........................................................ the. the. the. the magic you thought was going to be going to entertainers hotel room or was it like, why is there little du when a camera crew hanging out in your hotel room? Because Johnny Benquart was crashing with me and it was just fun to hang out and you know have a fun conversation with you guys and it was very interesting and I said I got to get around the podcast and talk about all this stuff. Hey everybody I want to tell you tel the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their got to get around the podcast and talk about all this stuff Hey, everybody want to tell you about our friends at green chef listen I just had a physical and guess what I'm in top tip top shape But I could lose a couple pounds and that's gonna start with me in a more balanced diet a more balanced meal And that's where green chef comes in okay green chef. All right Has a meal plan for every lifestyle doesn't matter what you're to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the to the the the the to the the the the the to the the to the the to to to the to the to to to the green. G green. Green. G. their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Green. Green. Green. Green thea. Green trean. trean. tr. tr. trean. tr. true. tr. th. th. th. th. th. thean. Chef, all right, has a meal plan for every lifestyle.

Starting point is 00:09:46 Doesn't matter what you're looking to eat, Green Chef has it, okay? It's better than have green Chef experts curate every recipe with over 30 meal choices every week and the flexibility to switch plans, you'll never have to sacrifice taste for nutrition, all right. You can enjoy restaurant quality dishes in the comfort of your own home. Enjoy new nutritious recipes each week that are perfect for you and the whole family. Guys, I love these meal plans.

Starting point is 00:10:18 I love them, dude. They're lifesavers. And guess what? They help you eat better. Okay? And they show you how to prepare their lifesavers. And guess what? They help you eat better, okay? And they show you how to prepare the food. It's real easy and it's real fun. And guess what?

Starting point is 00:10:31 I learned how to cook doing this, all right? I learned how to cook by using these meal preps that they put together, okay? It's real good. Green chef is the first USDA certified organic meal kit. So you can enjoy handpick organic veggies, premium proteins, without having to worry about where they came from. Okay? So Johnny, correct me if I'm wrong. They send you the ingredients, you cook it, you put together, and man, bang. You're eating great. Yeah, pre-portion, they're easy to follow recipes

Starting point is 00:11:06 and they deliver them right to your door. Absolutely. That's amazing. That's amazing, guys. I use it. I ordered it. It's coming in. I've used them before.

Starting point is 00:11:16 It's really great. And I think it's important that you know, as much you love consuming tinfoil hat, you need to consume good stuff when you eat, because that's how you're gonna get to a higher vibration. Okay, so this is what you're gonna do. You're gonna go to green chef.com slash tinfoil 125. Use the code tinfoil 125, you get $125,000 off, including free shipping. Go to GREENCH-E-E-N-C-H-E-F.com slash Tinfoil 125 and use the code Tinfoil 125, tinfoil 125 to get $125 to get $125 off including free shipping. Green Chef, the number one meal kit for eating well.

Starting point is 00:12:05 So you yourself have a podcast. And what's the name of your podcast? What do you talk about? Can you hear me? toobey me? Yep. You're good. You're breaking up just a little bit, but I think we're good now.

Starting point is 00:12:21 So tell us a little bit about the name of your podcast and your podcast? Yeah, so I currently host a to you yourself yourself yourself yourself yourself yourself, you you you you you you you you you you you you to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to the to to to the to to the to to the the the their the yourself yourself yourself, th. th. their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to to to to to toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the the the the the. So tell us a little bit about the name of your podcast and your podcast. Yeah, so I currently host a podcast called Our Medicine Stories and it's actually produced by a company called Indigenous Lotus, which is a wellness collective out of Minnesota, out of the twin cities in Minnesota. I work with a woman named Victoria Johnson and she's a busy the busy mom like me has all kinds of drive and basically has her hands in every single pot like I do here in my community. When you're a woman that really cares about your people and what we provide them, you just figure out how to hustle. So she advertised that she wanted to host for her podcast in the spring and I was like,

Starting point is 00:13:01 I think I could do that. I could definitely do that. I've been trying to start a podcast for years and it just never really stuck. I never had the support that I needed, just the structure wasn't in place. And so, yeah, sent her my resume. We ended up working it out and it's been a journey where finally, finally got some good structure going on. We've had some pretty consistent guests and thiaeee to be a space for indigenous people to share their

Starting point is 00:13:29 stories, their ways of healing and just what's brought them to where they are right now. There's a huge movement in Indian country for positivity, wellness, and just increasing access for wellness opportunities for Indian people, just because our reservations are often secluded and I know that on my reservation, basically what's outside of the Indian health care is pretty much all the wellness opportunities that you're going to get on the reservation. We don't have any like yoga studios or gyms and we have a community gym and whatnot, but that's typically used for children right now. And yeah, so I partner with her.

Starting point is 00:14:06 I have a movement called Native Women's Wellness Movement and we collaborate, and I bring opportunities for healing and wellness into my community. I teach breath work and meditation, and have just done a lot of grassroots community-centered wellness work, I guess. And that's kind of how it went. So the podcast is turning out to be super dope, just getting to interview to, I to, I to, I to, I to, I to, I to, I to to, I to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the movement, I the movement the movement, I have a the movement, I have a the movement, I have a their a the movement, I have a th, I have a th, I have a th, I have a th, I have a th, I have a th, I have a th, I have a th, I have a the movement, I have a the movement, I have a the movement, I have a the movement, I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the, the, threat, threat, threat, threat, threat, threat, threat, threat, that, threat, that, threat, that, that, the, I guess. And that's kind of how it went. So the podcast is turning out to be super dope, just getting to interview a lot of different people that come from a lot of different walks of life.

Starting point is 00:14:32 It's also very unique because we're interviewing people from all over the country and, you know, your textbooks in the US history kind of Indian people all as the same and one. And that's not true. There's different tribes, there's different creation stories. There's so much that, I guess, singles out, particular tribes. We're all very different and unique.

Starting point is 00:14:54 And I like that our podcast is just finding those people that we don't typically hear from and also sharing those things in a modern way. We've always been people of oral history and teaching through, teaching orally, I guess, and hands-on learning. And so getting to take part in that storytelling in a modern way is really powerful for me. And the conversations that I have with people are so touching. And I interviewed an elder back in August and she's a seventh generation

Starting point is 00:15:26 ceremonial herbalist out of the Blackfoot tribe and she's getting ready to pass down her name and her lineage to the next little girl and her family that will carry on those traditions that she's learned, you know, from her ancestors. And so that conversation I walked away from like feeling like she spoke to my bones, I was different after that. And so, you know, getting to share the raw, vulnerable conversations that I have with powerful people like her is really, really important for me because if I can take away something from it, if I can take away healing from it, then I know that anybody else is going to. And again, just going back to making sure that we're providing access for opportunities of healing for our people is really important.

Starting point is 00:16:07 Yeah, man, I feel it. I feel your energy, man. It's like really good. I feel it, man. It kind of touches me, man. And I think it's very important because the more and more I study history, the more and more I realize how unique the indigenous tribes are and like how like they have kind of some of the most amazing stories that are very much about our hidden history and how how powerful they are and how they you know it's like it's just very interesting because like we we have this modern group of people like white people right and like they are just getting beaten down right now, right? They're just getting beaten, that they're just the worst, the worst. And you're like, you meet these people, and there's just such lovely people, right?

Starting point is 00:16:54 They're just hardworking people and they're, you know, a lot of them are paying for the sins of thee, their, the people, of people, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their fathers and they're just paying for stuff they had nothing to do with but then when you take a look back at like the treatment of the US government of the indigenous it is totally and utterly a war crime man it's like so awful and it's just like I think it's very important and obviously you're not doing this this is me talking about you know it's just like like man I mean the whole thing is the government the government the government the government the government th. the government th. th. th. th. th. th. th doing this. This is me talking about, you know, it's just like, like, man, I mean, the whole thing is, the government is fucked up and how they treat people is wrong and it's not white people and it's not these people. It's like government. It's like my opinion on like Israel and Palestine. It's like, I love Jews. I love Judaism. The government of Israel is committing war crimes against the Palestinians. It's like, this isn, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, thi, thi, thi, and thi, thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and the government, and thi, and thi, and the government, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, theee is theeeeeat, theeeat, the government, the, the government, the government, the government, the government, the government, committing war crimes against the Palestinians, man. It's like this isn't about religion,

Starting point is 00:17:49 this isn't about Judaism, and this isn't about Jews. This is about people in these positions of power that have done unspeakable things to indigenous. I mean, it's just the way it is. And it's like, it's not poor white people that are doing this. They got manipulated as well, but I want to focus on the, you know, I just felt that's very important to be said. Because it's like you can also be like, hey, I didn't do anything, but recognize that in the past, giant trauma was done to people. And the best way to deal with that is to hear what's being said.

Starting point is 00:18:25 And because I've never sat down with an indigenous person and had them say to me, you know, fuck white people, fuck them. I'm sure they're out there, but the ones I've met with have never been like, fuck them. They've been like, dude, this is what the U.S. government did to us. And they're that in my conversations conversations conversations, in conversations, in conversations, in conversations, in conversations, in conversations, in conversations, in conversations, in conversations, in conversations, in conversations, in conversations, in tha, tha, that, tha, that, tha, thii, that, that, thi, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thi, thi, that's, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, with other people, that is always what it said. The US government did this to us. And like to me that goes, that's a recognition of like, there's levels to this shit and not

Starting point is 00:18:54 everybody's on that same level. So what I want to get to is like the history of indigenous, like, and what is going on on you know we talk a lot about like I mean like I struggle with addiction I struggle with it man and like the blessings are I mean we're not supposed to talk about but if everything goes I mean at the moment of of this I have one year of sobriety one year one year one year couldn't get out of it couldn't stop doing it was doing coke coke drinking speed and I was powerless. And the blessings are that through a lot of hard work that these things have changed.

Starting point is 00:19:33 And, you know, and if anybody's going through it, you can email me, I'll tell you what I did. That's how I could do. But man, it seems to be gripping the indigenous people pretty bad, huh? Yeah, I first just want to applaud you on your sobriety. That's wonderful. And I always appreciate anybody that's vulnerable enough to share that. I also have been sober of alcohol for almost six months now. And I've gone through like several bouts of my life where abused alcohol, especially as like a teenager and a young person, and then I remember turning 21, having fun for a little bit.

Starting point is 00:20:11 And then shortly after that, I was like, nope, I got to be done with this. And like, it just isn't for me. And then I would just, I still wasn't really confident in that decision. And so I continued to, you know, partake in the social in the. And yeah, I have had a lot of close encounters with addiction in my immediate family. And I'm proud to say that I'm the daughter of two recovering addicts. And I'm also a child who was in that situation that is extremely privileged, and I was always surrounded with people who loved me and took care of me. And I think that, you know,

Starting point is 00:20:49 addiction is always at the forefront of what I do. And when I was pregnant, I was like, I got to take a step back. I used to work in addiction and prevention here on the reservation. I put on a lot of different drug and alcohol-free events in the community. It's a really deep. It's thi, it's, it's, it's, it's thiiiiiiiiiiii, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. thi, that's thi, thi, thi, thi, that's thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that's that's that's that's that's that's, that that's, and I that's, and I that's, and I that's, I that's, I that's, I that's, I that's, I that's, I I that's, I I that's that's that's that's that's th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thin. I thin. I thin. I thin. I thin. I theat thin. I thin. I thin. I thi. I thin. I the. It's really, really deep, because when I first came home from college, I struggled because also I studied human development and family science, which is actually a public health degree, but it's super psychology and sociology based, and so you're really looking at systems at a micro and macro level, what it looks like

Starting point is 00:21:24 for a human to develop across the lifespan, how they're affected by their immediate family, the school and the community, and then your macro level, government, per se. And when I came back home, I struggled because I could see all of the pain everywhere. I had distanced myself enough from the reservation and enough from just seeing all of the pain. We see a lot of sadness and pain in our communities and when you grow up around that it's it's that emeshment. It just is normal. It's normal for us to be around those things. And so when I came back and started working in alcohol and drug prevention, I was like,

Starting point is 00:22:05 what am I going to do to teach these kids, like these teenagers, like how do I have these kinds of conversations with them to talk to them about substances, to let them know like, you're not like every other kid. If you have addiction in your blood, you can't just go to college and party with everybody else and think you're going to spiral into things. I've had several friends and just see kids continue to leave the reservation and not realize and understand what substances can do to their lives and to themselves. And yeah, for me, I really battled with,

Starting point is 00:22:38 and I still battle with it, and it's part of why I chose to leave alcohol out of my life at this time. And it's, the biggest thing is that my community didn't have alcohol at one point in time. We didn't have substances and we weren't unhealthy, we weren't toxic, we didn't have the inter-familial issues that we do now. We don't, we didn't have lateral violence, we didn't have lateral oppression. Those things were brought on to us by the US government and alcohol

Starting point is 00:23:07 was introduced to our people by the US government. And when your body, you know, for umpteen years has not ever experienced that type of substance and then it's introduced to you at a really painful, you know, time. Like our children were being taken away from us, our land was being stolen from us, our food sources were being demolished and taken from us. We were no longer allowed to hunt and gather, excuse me. And these new things were coming to us.

Starting point is 00:23:37 Also, like, talk about, like, if you want to go deep into the addiction, like food sovereignty, and the government providing us with commodities like white flour and cheese and these things that our people had not ever had. We didn't use those things. We always had relied on the earth to provide for us and we traveled seasonally all throughout many different regions in the northwest to gather those foods to sustain our bodies and to sustain our children. And so when we were put on to reservations and all of these really horrible things

Starting point is 00:24:11 were being taken from us and alcohol, that substance was introduced, this is how our people were numbing and taking care of themselves because they didn't know what else to do, they were lost. And I, I I I I their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, I their, I their, I tho, I tho, tho, they they thoes. thoes.. thoes, thoes, thoes... thoes.. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, their their their their their their their their their............. thoes... thoes. thoes.. thoes. than. than. than. than. I was was than. than. told. to to told. to to to to to to to toeean. toldean. toldean. toean. toean. toea. toea. toea. to to to thea. to bring up that elder again that I talked about that I interviewed in August, I asked her about alcohol and I asked her what her take was on that and on substances in general. And she had this really long way of saying, you know, I've never used any substances because

Starting point is 00:24:40 of the thing, the role that she carries in her tribe and in her community and in her family as a ceremonial herbalist, she's not allowed to use substances because it's seen that she could be very hurtful to somebody else if she were to go gather medicine while she was drunk or high or you know, just not in a good mind space and she gathered that medicine and came and brought it to you. It would do things to you that you, you and I don't understand don't understand understand understand understand understand to understand to understand to understand to understand to understand to understand to understand to understand to understand to understand to understand to understand to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the to the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their theirto you. It would do things to you that you and I don't understand on an energetic level. And what she said to me was that, for me, it essentially was her talking about the chakra system. She said to me that you have this clear channel that goes from the top of your head down through your body, you have this light within you. And if you have this light in your body, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. And, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, and tho, and thu, and thu. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th, th, th. And, th. And, th, th. And, th. And, the thi, the thi, thi, and thr. And, thr-a, and theeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. And, and thr-a. And, and thr-a, have this light within you. And if you have this light in your body, why would you take vodka and pour it into that? Why would you take these things and pour it and put it into your body that's been given to you

Starting point is 00:25:33 that has that light within you that comes from source? And again, like I tell you, that I left this conversation feeling so different and at that point I had not been drinking for about a month. And yeah, so I see a lot of it right now. Honestly, I have a couple of really close relatives who are struggling with alcohol. And unfortunately, it's extremely socially acceptable. So we don't take it seriously, I feel like as a, you know, as a collective, as a society in general, away from just indigenous people. I think that alcohol is so normal for people to just like,

Starting point is 00:26:10 let's go out and have a drink to celebrate, to cry, to be happy, to be sad. It's used to attune our emotions and our nervous systems for a multitude of things. And so it's very interesting. Yeah, and the addiction, I mean, it just continues to bleed through our communities. And so, you know, I just find that if I can be somebody, and I feel this way, and in all areas, not just in the sobriety talk, if I can be somebody who, who walks a different life for other people and other children to see, then that's great, we don't see a lot of things that go against the grain.

Starting point is 00:26:46 And unfortunately, like I said, alcohol is so common and normalized that it's almost like this silent killer. I have had many relatives die from cirrhosis of the liver, especially that generation of veterans that fought in Vietnam and Korea, they came back and were, had severe PTSD, and that's what they did. And, and, and, and, and, and, and th.. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and their, and their, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, like, like, like, and, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, and, like, and, and, and, and they.... And, like, and they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, the the the they. And, the the the the the they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, like, their, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, their, they came back and had severe PTSD and that's how they coped. And that's what they did. And unfortunately, you know, like the binge drinking, even like being a functioning alcoholic, that's very real and we see that.

Starting point is 00:27:14 But for me, you know, I just try to be that person that people can come to. I'm probably gonna get off this call after we're done here today. thoe, I, I, I to, I, and to, and to, and to, and th. tho, and tho, and tho, and tho, and I, and I, I, I, and I's, I's, I'm, and thi, I'm thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thr.. thrown. thrown, throooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. thean, thean, the. th get off this call after we're done here today and hopefully go track down one of my cousins who's really struggling right now see if I can help him get into treatment get somewhere get some kind of help and relief because he's at a point where he's like I'm lost and it's like good I'm glad that you're recognizing that so what do we need to do next? Hey guys I want to to tell you about our friends at super speciosaosa. that that the the the the the to the the the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the treat. the treat. the te. try. try. try. try. try. to to to to to to to to to to to tociosa they are the best the leaders in cratom that's right just go to get super leaf dot com use a promo code Sam and you will be set up okay listen everyone loves cratum it's good for you

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Starting point is 00:29:34 for 40% off your entire order for the month of December. It's just that easy so go to get superleaf dot com slash Sam use a promo code Sam It's complex is the same in Mexico Listen man, it hits the astex just indigenous people down there It's the same just because you're like a native American in Mexico then this Indigenous people hit some differently as well they're big drinkers and it hits their liver different than like the light skinned Did Spaniard people that got mixed in there and the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thea thea thea tree. ttree.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.e.e.e. their. their. their hits their liver different than like the light skin did. Spaniard people that got mixed in there and they ended up getting some of those genes because it hits different like they go they call it that Native

Starting point is 00:30:10 American gene where you, well that's at least what they call it here where they instantly you start drinking and oh that's there's Native American. Yeah. Yeah so the biggest thing about that is that you know if you watch if you the the biggest the biggest the biggest the biggest the biggest th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. T thi. T th. T th. T th. T thi. Their they're thi. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. They're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they're. They's they're. They're. They're. They're. They're. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their. they're their. their. their. they're their. their. their. they're they're their. they're they're they're they're they're that you know if you watch any like movie about the black community they'll always talk about how there's a liquor store in every corner right there's a liquor store in every corner there it is then we talk about this pandemic going on right what what they keep they close down jams what they keep open liquor stores oh don't forget weed shops when weed shops and you know people can love weed and listen I'm for the legalization of all drugs I don't think people should go to jail for doing drugs. I think that compounds the

Starting point is 00:30:53 issue. You know I can get sober but I it's very hard for me not to be a felon anymore so I'll put that out there. I don't know any law anything that was made illegal that people stop doing. Do you know the logic the logic the logic the logic the logic the logic the logic the logic the logic the logic the logic the logic the logic the logic the logic the logic the logic the logic they they they they they they they they they they the logic they they they they the logic. they they th. they they they the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they're. they're. they're. the they're. the the to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the the to. the the the the the the. the the. the the th. I. root law anything that was made illegal that people stop doing. Do you know the logic on why they couldn't legalize alcohol? Why? You can't withdraw from it. You could die from withdrawal from it instantly. So their thing was to cope of it by giving it to them so they don't have to go out cold turkey and die. Because that's the problem with going off cold turkey with liquors you could literally literally, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, literally, literally, literally, you, literally, literally, literally, literally, you, literally, literally, literally, you, literally, literally, their, literally, literally, literally, their, literally, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th, thi, thi, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, thi, because, because, because, thi, because, because, because, because, thi, because, because, because, thi, because, thi, because, th, th, because, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, they thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, because you could thi, because their logic on that. Maybe, maybe, I think that could be also an excuse that they use forever why they wouldn't legalize marijuana. So I mean like that's that's my purpose. You know, that's my belief, you know, is that they had to be like, well we can't make alcohol illegal because you know people, if they withdraw, they'll die. I don't know the government ever cared about people dying or not dying.

Starting point is 00:31:46 I mean, that's my humble opinion. But the whole thing is, we've talked about here on the show before, that liquor, alcohol, drugs, they call alcohol spirits, there's a reason, and it's like, it is meant to let some dark forces in. I mean, like I see people all the time. They can't control their loss, they're not their own person. We have friends in our own life that battle these to deal with addictions, to deal with trauma from the past. I mean, I make jokes about, but man, there's things that happened to me in the past that I just didn't want to deal with. I mean you worked at the common store, how many people drink there every day?

Starting point is 00:32:26 Every day. I mean because it's like they're dealing with, and it's like nobody wants to take a look of what they're going through. So you know when you take a look at the indigenous, it's just like you have a wiring for one thing and that's not allowed to exist to exist to exist to exist to exist to exist to exist to exist to exist to exist to exist., how do you deal with that? How do you deal with lack of hope? There's so many people, like I used to have a joke about, like if you drink in LA more than twice a week, you're an alcoholic. If you drink only twice a week in upstate New York, you're probably in the third grade, right? I mean that's the

Starting point is 00:32:59 joke. It's just like people drink like there's no tomorrow in these small towns. Like people drink like there's no tomorrow in these small towns because It just helps them deal with time passing and sometimes there is no tomorrow You know, I mean, it's just nothing to look forward to there's nothing to look forward to but like she was talking about her her relative. It's like hey man, it's like the only shot you got is like to get out of your own way sometimes. I always say it's like it's so much so much so much so. It's th. It's the th. It's th. It's the th. It's the th. It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only shot th. the only shot th. th. the only shot th. th. thooooooooooooooooooooo th. the. the only shot the only shot. own way sometimes. I always say it's like it's so much, it's so easy to walk to your dreams when you stop shooting yourself in the foot. And that's what alcohol does. You just keep shooting yourself in the foot. Drug abuse, you keep, and it feels great man.

Starting point is 00:33:34 I was telling the other day, you know, like speed is, you know what speed your life it's meant to destroy your life it's met it's like you know what speed is it's like it's like a different version of the metaverse because you're in this heightened sense of aware thing and like everything is so insanely and it's like real life can't compete with like the first hit of speed I just feel like it's like limitless I've never done their speed I just like limitless I feel like limit you're just like a. Yeah the the first the first the first the first the first the first th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th thi thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi being alert. And then if you keep taking it, if you keep taking it, it's just like that drug, you get addicted and just you can't do it every day. Real life is just not important anymore. And you deal with it so much and like you just see it like the introduction of drugs and alcohol to the indigenous tribes was done purposely to kneecap them and it's like how many times we hear th. Like I. I. I. I. I. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's the the the the the their it's their it's their it's their it's their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the real. the real real real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real. It's the real. It's the the the the the the the the the their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. their. their. Real. their. Real. Real. Really. Really. Really. Really. Really. Really. Really. Really. Really. Really. Really. Really. Really. Really. Really. Really. Really. Really. Really. Really. Really. Really. Real, the the cap them and it's like how many times we hear this story? Like how many times we hear it? I don't care if it's indigenous, I don't care if it's the black community,

Starting point is 00:34:30 I don't care if it's poor white people with oxy cotton and all that. I mean like this is the tool of the elites. And that's just what they do man and just people can't get out of their own way. They don't realize that they're playing the game. They're playing into these people's hands by doing this. They're enriching their captors. It's like this giant level of basically Stockholm syndrome. In some weird kind of way, right? So I mean, like, and then we can get into like, you know,

Starting point is 00:35:04 so much of our history, and this is another thing I want to get into about the indigenous, so much of our history has been rewritten. It's a common theme on this show, no matter what we're talking about, that seems to be the common theme of the rewrite of history and not allowing the young to know where they came from. And I, you know, now that I have daughters who have daughters, that I have daughters, that I have daughters, that I have daughters, that I have daughters, that I have daughters, that I have a daughters, that I have daughters, that I have a daughters, that I have daughters, that I have daughters, that I have daughters, that that that I have daughters, that, that, that I have daughters, that, tho, thathea, that I have, that I have, that I have, that I have, that I have, tho, tho, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th.a, that, that, that, thee.a, the.a.a.a. I'm, the.a. I'm, th. I'm, the. I'm, th. I'm, thi, th. And you know now that I have daughters who are almost two years old I think like what am I going to pass on to these kids? Like I got to pass something on I got to give them a running start. I got to give them running start. No matter why it happens between me and the mother and I'm so blessed she gave me children and I'm always going to be there for her and hopefully at some point she'll realize I'm a good th a a th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to be th. to be thi. to be to be to be to be to be to be to be thi. thi. I'm to be to be to be to be to be to to to to to to to their their their the the the the the the the the the th. I's the the th. I's th. I I's th. I I's th. I I I I's th. I I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm going thi. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going to. I'm going. I'm going 'll realize I'm a good guy, right? And you know, and I'll earn that, I'll earn that,

Starting point is 00:35:46 and it will all work out. But we're gonna pass, what are we gonna pass on to these kids, man? And that was robbed from the indigenous people. It was robbed for the black people. I just wish they would listen, they would hear me out. Just hear me out. Just hear me out. Just let me tell, let let let let let let let let let let let let let let let let let let let let you you the the they their their their their their their th, let their, let th. th. the, let me the, let me the, let me the, let me the, let me the, let me the, let me the, let me the, let me the, the, the, the, what the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th, what, what, what, what, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. that, that, the, the, the, the, the, the. thean. thea. thea. the. the. the. the. What the. What th're mistaking your heritage for your culture and your culture is not your heritage. And you're mistaking it because you're you're practicing the wrong shit. But when we take a look at the indigenous man, it was purposely done, man, this is done on purpose. So you don't know how special you are, which is throwing you into these schools, right? I mean, where do you want to go on that? Yeah, I think I'd first like to just acknowledge my teachers,

Starting point is 00:36:27 my parents, my elders, all of the wonderful people that I have grown up around who've passed on so much history to me and just family wisdom, family support, I, you know, we can go dark and talk about all of the horrible things, but at the same time, like I come from the most beautiful culture and I also, you know, you bring up a really good point that most people, most people in the Americas don't know where they're where they come from, like where truly like their lineage originates from. And I'm, I've been blessed enough to know, uh, not only know my culture, but I live in the homelands and territories of where my people have always lived. Our treaty is said to be one of the strongest treaties, the treaty of 1855, our ancestors held out really, really long. They were very intentional and wanted to make sure that, you know,

Starting point is 00:37:24 last seven generations, I'm sure if you've heard other Indian people talk, you'll hear them say about like thinking, thinking seven generations ahead, thinking seven generations in front of me, making sure that I'm making an impact in that sense, everything that we do, thinking about the future generations to come after us when I'm no longer here. People have always talked to us about how the land, to be, to be, to be, the land, to be, the land, to be, the land, the land, to be, the the the the to be, the th and the thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.ea, thiii.ean, thi, th about how the land is not ours. We are a part of the land and we're not going to be here all the time and at some point we will return to the land and our funeral ceremonies honestly are one of the places where I learn the most. My family participates, not participates. We are a big family who supports people during times of death and during times of loss, whether that be cooking, whether that be helping clean their house. There's a lot of things

Starting point is 00:38:07 that go into the death of an Indian person and what that looks like afterwards for the people who are left behind in that morning process. And so I always like to just acknowledge that that again I'm a very privileged person. I I know exactly where I come from, the people that I come from, and I have a very strong family. I have a very strong lineage, and they made sure that I knew exactly who I am. And the other unique thing about me is that I'm also half white. My mom is indigenous and my dad's white. So my parents separated when I was little, and I think I'm actually, well, I think I'm the second like biracial child in my family that's white........ And that's. And that's. And that's. And that's, and that's, and that's, and that's, and that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi that I thi thi thi that I that I thi that I that I that I that I that I that I that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's well, I think I'm the second like biracial child in my family that's white.

Starting point is 00:38:48 And that could be not quite accurate. But regardless to say, when I was growing up, we would have these different things come up like funerals. And our funerals last for two to three days at times. And so there's just different processes and protocols that take place at different parts of our life. And so as a young child, I oftentimes was explaining to my white family what was going to be happening or what I was doing, what I was wearing.

Starting point is 00:39:15 I did a lot of that cultural interpretation and nowadays you hear a lot of people talk about translation exhaustion of, you know, yeah, I'm an indigenous person, but why do I always have to explain to you my point of view? Shouldn't you just be able to figure it out on your own? Because it is exhausting. We do have to do a lot of education because we already know that the, you know, our mainstream education system

Starting point is 00:39:36 does not provide accurate information on indigenous people. So, you know, I just grew up doing that and I've done a lot of cultural brokerism when it comes to government to government transactions and conversations. So, you know, again, just coming from that point of privilege and acknowledging my teachers is really important for me because I have been very, very blessed to learn from them. And I make sure that, you know, I work with kids. So everything that I do, making sure that I'm sharing a little bit of what I know with them, whether that just be saying, Chefla Skoppa, which means good morning to them

Starting point is 00:40:11 as soon as they get there. So they can just hear what that sounds like. They can have that vibration of those words hit their bodies. And I also work to work with with with with the the the to work with the kids with the kids tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thi thi thi thi interpreting what I'm saying. Their brains are so different than mine. Just teaching little things like the colors and the numbers and providing, you know, having pictures of little Indian kids up in our classroom that are digging roots or that are fishing.

Starting point is 00:40:33 And, you know, building that strong sense of cultural identity is really important for us now, more than ever, because at this point, if we don't continue to to teach to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to teach what we what we have, even though we've already lost a lot, we have to continue to pass that on. The sad part is, you know, the sad part is that the government was extremely intentional in their attempts to remove us and to eliminate indigenous people. And unfortunately, through things like the relocation era and that act, you know, at that time when that act was put into place, a lot of trust and funding was stopped for reservations. There was termination that started taking place for a lot of

Starting point is 00:41:13 different federally recognized tribes. So Oregon, that's where I'm from I'm from Northeast Oregon, Mutilla Indian Reservation. We have nine federally recognized tribes in Oregon. That doesn't mean that there aren't other tribes or bans that aren't recognized. However, they do not, they're not recognized by the federal government, so they don't have reservations. They don't have, like, we have Indian health care. Our reservation actually broke off from Indian health care. Oh, I want to say in the 90s, but that could be inaccurate. But recently, you know, our tribe has been able to take a lot of steps towards self-sustainability

Starting point is 00:41:50 and self-sufficiency, which is really exciting for us. We provide, you know, state-of-the-art care for our people. Right now, we're working in education, you know, we're expanding our early childhood programs. We're doing a lot of work. The partnership that I work on, I'm technically an employee of the state, but I work on the reservation. I work directly with our education program to provide children who have special needs that care. So their families are working directly with native people

Starting point is 00:42:18 instead of having to work with the state. Because that trauma, when you go back to like to the their, their, their, their, their, to work, to work, to work, to work, to work, to work, to work, to work, their, to work, to work, their, their, to work, their, to work, to work, to work, to work, their, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, and, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, andooome.e.a, their, their, anda, their, their, anda, talking about the boarding schools, that trauma that are people face when it comes to working with white people. And like you were saying earlier, you know, like most of the time people aren't like, fuck you, I hate white people. But epigenetically, and in our DNA, there is still a lot of that trauma that takes place where when it comes to interacting with the system, our people often often often often often often often often often often often often, the their the, the, thi, thi, thi, people oftentimes struggle because they don't feel understood. And I grew up and I live in a town that's extremely political when it comes to white people and Native American people. Our reservation is only about seven miles from the city of Pendleton. And there's a lot of history here when it comes to like the Pendleton

Starting point is 00:43:00 Roundup, the Pendalty and Woolen Mills. And so again, just like my people are always hearing about how they have intergenerational trauma and how they have these patterns and these toxic traits within their DNA and within their systems, but we don't always point that out to the white community. And, you know, how that affects Miss Sally, who's working in the DHS office with a native family who's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. to to to thi. to to to thi. thi. to like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, to my to my to my to my to my to my to my to my, to my, to my. to to my. to to to to to to to to, to to, to to, to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe., who's working in the DHS office with a native family who's trying to apply for assistance because they need help, that could be a really interesting conversation, right? So I think that it kind of just comes down to our present day

Starting point is 00:43:37 and being able to acknowledge where we're at. Our tribe is doing phenomenal. We have a lot of really great things happening. So it's like as much as much of of what of what of what of what the the the the the US the US the US the US the US the US the US the US the US the US the US, the US, the US, the US, the US, the US, the US, the US, the US, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. thi's, thi's thi, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try. try. try. try. try. try, try, try, try try try to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to try. to to try. to try. to to to try. tribe is doing phenomenal. We have a lot of really great things happening. So it's like as much as this, as much of what the US government has done and continues to do, we're still here, we're still resilient. We're technically a sovereign nation. We are our own people. We have our own governing body here. And we're making a lot of really great strides. So, you know, it's different for every tribe, though. It's not with the things that we're facing here

Starting point is 00:44:08 could be very different than what tribes down in New Mexico are facing, right? There's a big difference. And because all of these different tribes that are federally recognized, they all have the Warm Springs Tribe down in Central Oregon's government system looks like. So it's a really unique thing because we have the ability and the flexibility to really create systems to support our people and they are not modeled off the patriarchy and off of Western

Starting point is 00:44:36 systems like health care like we have the potential at some point to have a lot of different integrative health care available, like acupuncture and chiropractic and like what does that holistic care really look like for our people? And yeah, but at the same time we still operate in a very western world and that assimilation definitely has taken place. You know, we don't have a lot of language speakers anymore. We don't have a lot of our old elders alive anymore who are fluent speakers who only speak Indian. You know, those things are really rare to come by. And that part can be really sad. Yeah, I mean, well, I'm listening to you.

Starting point is 00:45:18 I'm really touched, man, by a lot of stuff you're saying. And I understand the white people thing. And maybe I was naive in saying that I, I, I, I, I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi tho tho thi thi tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thoooooooo're saying and I understand the white people thinking maybe I was naive and saying that I just you know for me it's just like you're not that you're doing this I'm just saying in general there are so much like budding of heads all the time and you know just especially when you're like just in your own relationships with people it's so much easier easier to go, okay, let me hear your side and find your faults and stuff. And sometimes you may not have faults in it, but like the reaching out of like,

Starting point is 00:45:54 you know, you just get more flies with, what's the saying, you get more flies of sugar than vinegar? Yeah, more honey than vinegar. You know, it's just, it's so dark, right? It's so dark, right. And it's the th. And th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's thi. thi. thi. the they. they. they. they. their their their fi. their their fi. their their fi. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. to to to to ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. toe. the the same. their their their their their their their is more honey than vinegar. You know, it's just, it's so dark, right? It's so dark and when you look to the past and it's so hard to comprehend that people would allow this to happen to people. And then we again, we have it happening in modern days, right? In Palestine and stuff like that. And the media, which will cry about everything, is silent on that.

Starting point is 00:46:26 And you're like, how's that happening? Or what's happening now in Australia? We're watching in real time this like fascism. And like everyone's like not saying, I think. So, like my whole thing is like, how do we reach out to each other and help each other understand the trauma of the past but without making people who didn't do it you know have to pay for a price of something that they you know that they just didn't cause you know I don't know what the answer is that that's how they feel so I lived in the I live in I and over there by Lake Elsinore

Starting point is 00:46:56 and there's the Pachanga the tribe. And they feel like what do they do that I didn't do? Right. Intimately, and you see the white people and Pachanga's huge. Dude, they got the casino, they run everything and they got the's among the people, I have some friends who are Cherokee, and they, there's this, what would you say? I mean, it's a social inevitability that kids are kind of laying out of school and just waiting, because they know when, I think when they turn 17 or 18, they start getting this payment. This Pachanga gets, from the tribe gets 300,000. Yeah and they've just been on the so I mean they've been on that they've they've you

Starting point is 00:47:52 know it's like a welfare program that's made them feel like they don't really have to you know to strike out on? At some point, it's like, you know, they say that's the big problem with socialism. Once you, once you start, everybody's just getting checks and it doesn't matter what you're doing, you're getting paid to saying, some people just don't want to work, and guess what? We're seeing it now in real time, where like, people are getting all to get a job? And that goes back to addiction. If you get money, you have nothing to do.

Starting point is 00:48:25 100%? You get money every day and all you gotta do is go to the casino, gamble, money's guaranteed in your pocket, direct deposit. Why would you not drink? I totally agree. I want to get into something that I, because I stories of the past and how they're like, there's so much stuff of like, like ancient history and maybe I don't know if this is your expertise or not and maybe I'm wrong, but you know, like the talk of them, you know, that the

Starting point is 00:48:57 Hopi met with the, you know, the ant people and just like the, you know, the Nephalim and there's the story that the indigenous the indigenous the indigenous the the the the the the the the the the the the the hopehopeopeopeopeopeopeope. the, the, you, you, you, you, the, you, you, you, you, you, the, you know, you know, the, you know, the, the, the, tho, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, the, the, theymea, theymea, theymea, theymea, theymea, theymea, hoa, hoa, hopea, they, they, they, the, the, the Nephalem and there's a story that the indigenous knew the Nephalem and stuff like that. Is there, is there any part of your history that there is talk of that stuff that maybe like, because you know, what we know about natives and you brought us up in school, right? Well, we're taught in school and more and more we're learning that like schools to teach us to be good, obedient people more than to educate us and enlighten us. Is there stuff that we don't know about that would be very interesting too? That just, it's like so, that's just really amazing that kind of has been wiped away and hidden from us.

Starting point is 00:49:47 Yeah, that's a I did want to touch you guys were brought up the casinos and that's like a such a myth buster point that I wanted to talk about just really quickly was that. That was Xavier. That was Xavier. Hey, no, no, so I wanted to just say that so this would come up for me like when I was going to school right. Like, you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you th. You th. You th. You th. You th. th. th. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's. that's that's. that's that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's just just just that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's just say that, so this would come up for me like when I was going to school, right? Like, you know, you have weird stereotypes like Indians are alcoholics or they're, all they do is live off government aid and the government just gives them money. And you know, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. So the funny part is is that like, so we have a casino here on our reservation. At one point it was like a thiiiiiii. the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to the. I thi. I was to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was to to to toean. I was toean. toean. I was toean. th. th. th. thi. thi. I was thi. I was thi. I was one point, it was like just a single wide trailer, right? When we first started up our casino, which was in 1995,

Starting point is 00:50:28 it was a very small outfit of slot machines. And it's since expanded. We have a fairly large casino at this point in time. It has a family funplex as a bowling center, an arcade, movie theater. And they continue to want to build on to that. We also have a hotel there. There's a lot of different things that take place there now. They hold a lot of different big events.

Starting point is 00:50:51 They have concerts, we have powwows. There's lots of stuff that goes on. But so it's different for every tribe on how much revenue they're getting from their different economic structures, right? And the casino is one way that our tribe has utilized, that our tribe has utilized the casino to increase our income and be able to provide more for our tribe. So that's part of the reason like how we were being able able to build a new health care center. That's how we build our high school, right?

Starting point is 00:51:22 There's all these different things where that funding from the casino, from all the people that go there and put their dollars into the slot machines are on the table. That's where, you know, that's how we sustain ourselves at this point. It feels really dark and yucky to me because when I go into casino, I just feel like everybody's zombies and I'm like, that feels like that's dark, that that that that that that that that th dark, th dark, th dark, th dark, th dark, th dark, th dark, th dark, thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their their their their their their their their their their dollars, and their dollars, and their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, their their their their, their their their their their their their their their their their dollars, their dollars, their dollars, thooes, thooooooooooooooooooooomoombs, and thooooooooooombs, and put their dollars, and put 't really know. But the way our tribe is structured is that they have a quarterly dividend, is what they call it, and it just basically is based off of how much revenue we have made at the casino for that quarter,

Starting point is 00:51:57 and it's then dispersed amongst tribal members. We have something called 18 money, so that's what you were saying. Like, there's money that's put in thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thiiiii. thii. thii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th's what you were saying. Like there's money that's put into tribal members accounts until they turn 18 and then when they turn 18 they can either get that out as a lump sum and then you're taxed a lot of money obviously or you can get it out in like smaller bursts I think but you know like financial independence and money management is a huge thing and when you come from low SES or you have been in poverty, like things, hoarding things can feel really good

Starting point is 00:52:29 because of that scarcity mindset that our people have been in. So we have a lot of elders who are like major hoarders. I just had an aunt pass away a couple of months ago and we were going through her things cleaning up. And there was like so much shampoo. And I'm like, what did did did did did did was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was their their their their their their their up and there was like so much shampoo and I'm like what did you was there like a deal on shampoo every time you went to the store and you bought shampoo come on girl but yeah so that's always a really interesting thing but I always just like to throw that back in people's face when they want to talk

Starting point is 00:52:55 shit about Indians so I'm like well don't go to the casino then and don't buy our drinks and don't gamble that's that's they I I I I I I I I I I I I th you you you you you you you you th you th you th you th you th I th I th I th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is thi. thi. thi. the. the. thi. the. the. the. the. the. Don't the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. of the Cherokee, I mean, when they turn 18, they're getting like a hundred grand, dude. Just cash, straight cash, homie. And like there's a story out there. Hold on, I just found it. It's Topic. the topic. And they just go through and talk to each 18-year-old about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about what what their-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-old-old-old-old-old-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s-a-s-s-s, they're-s, they're, the-s, the-s, the-s, the-s, tell that the education that you're talking about hasn't reached a lot of them, because they're just buying cars and concert tickets, you know, and like lifetime subscriptions to, you know,

Starting point is 00:53:28 to, you know, fruit of the month or what, I mean, just insane shit, not investing it, you know, and it's kind of, and I think, from what I understand is that, that they. And I th. From th. From th. From, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, th. From, from, th. From, th. From, the, the, th. From, the, the, the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their, the, their, their, their, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And 18 you know and they just kind of descend on them and try to you know take as much of that cash. Anytime that you know it's a weird thing I don't like the word lower class I hate that phrase but you know a certain economic level when there's a system in place where they can get a lot of money there are predators I mean you see it in like professional sports I mean how many times these guys just get bombarded with money and then It's gone because they had all these people just getting into their pockets and stuff and it goes back to the education Of like we do not teach children how to manage money

Starting point is 00:54:26 We need to they don't want you to because if they did you'd be like why am I getting a school loan. Yeah, yeah what was the interest on that? Oh wait a they told me not to. They told me not to. Why would I do oh what? Is there any kind of initiative to create a education program to to talk to kids like about like hey man you're about to get this huge amount of money. You could do this which are what dumb people do okay or you could do this which is what people who know how to manage money to which is invested in this this this whatever that investment might be how to manage your money. Is there any programs like that? Yeah there's tons of programs we, we, yeah to manage your money. Is there any programs like that?

Starting point is 00:55:05 Yeah, there's tons of programs. We, yeah, there's an abundance of different curriculums and whatnot that are tribally adapted. So like, you know, you have all of your evidence-based programs that are used in like addiction and stuff like that. A lot of times there will be tribally adapted programs that are specifically for our communities. And so like tho I I I I I I I I I tha thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the the the thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, we thi, thi, thi, thi. We thi. We the, thi. We thi. We thi. We thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there is there is thi specifically for our communities. And so I've taken one that had to do with purchasing a home. And so I went through this like four week course and there was all these things and like little activities about how to track your spending and your money and

Starting point is 00:55:36 talking about credit, talking about loans, talking about those kinds of things. And now I believe that our tribe actually does provide that education to 18 year olds, or for children who are about to turn 18 to have some kind of financial independence. We also have a really cool program here. So our governing body is called the Board of Trustees. And we have like a chair, a vice chair, like there's a whole thing essentially that governs our tribe that overseas policy and whatnot. And we also have thing essentially that governs our tribe that overseas policy and whatnot. And we also have a youth council that has just really started to develop and catch momentum over the last few years.

Starting point is 00:56:16 And so right now we have a ton of really inspired young people who are doing really big work. They're going to these really big, like climate conferences in the Northwest. And, you know, just getting to use their voice and advocate, their tha, th, th, th, their thi thi thi thi thi thi their thi thi thi their their their thi their thi thi their their their their their their conferences in the Northwest and just getting to use their voice and advocate in a way that feels really large. It's also very impactful because they're doing those things of talking about, like thinking about seven generations ahead as a 17-year-old. And it's like, so we're seeing a lot of positivity, we have a lot of momentum and we have a lot of momentum and a lot of really great things happening. And so it kind of just depends on what the availability and what the access to resources looks like for each tribe. And the other thing is that if you don't grow up on a reservation, which there are a lot

Starting point is 00:56:54 of indigenous people who don't grow up on the reservation because of that relocation their reservation where we were, you know, the whole point of assimilation and whatnot was to completely erase Indian culture. It was like there was deemed a term, kill the Indian, save the man. So boarding schools, teaching, like they wanted you to think about monogamy, material wealth, like that individualism, right, of just like what it means to be an American society today. Like we really search, like search for that individualism, right, of just like what it means to be an American society today. Like we really search for that nuclear family. And that's just not how our people operated.

Starting point is 00:57:29 We were very collectivistic cultures. You depended on each other for survival. So if all the children were together, and you had like the oldest was a 10 year old, and the youngest was a three year old, and the three thr old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old to go to go to go to go th th th th th went th wentall could have just died. So every person, no matter what age, always had that role. And when you have a role within your community, you have immediately a sense of belonging.

Starting point is 00:57:52 So right now, with the way that our communities are structured in that individualism, we don't have those same, you know, roles of operation, I guess within within our families and within our communities, that's where I start seeing, you know, like addiction and depression and poverty and like those things starting to pop up because it's like, what is that sense of identity and more? What does that look like? And, you know, a lot of the things that, a lot of the initiatives that I worked on when I worked for the Local Health Center here was men, uh, men, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, thi, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that's thi. thi. that's that's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, because our men, I've heard elders talk about it that, you know, our women, our women always had a job, no matter what, when shit went down

Starting point is 00:58:32 and we were put on reservations, like a mother still had to feed her child. A man's job was to provide and to be that hunter, to provide safety. And so when they were no longer allowed to leave the reservation and provide for their, that sense of belonging and that role, that identity was completely taken away. And that's where you see like that alcoholism really come in for them during that time when we were on reservations. Our men were completely lost.

Starting point is 00:58:54 And I think that, you know, that continues to bleed out into our generations. And that's, you know, that's where it's where it's where it's where it's where it's where it's where it's where it's where it's where it's where it's where it's where it's where it's where it's where it's where it's where it's where it's where it's where it's where it's wherethat's where it's come down to. And I don't know where I was going with that. No, no, no, this is a wonderful point to make. And it was great because that again, here we are. It's like, yeah, are we talking about indigenous people? Are we talking about modern day culture with everybody? I mean, like, that's a real issue right now. It's like, what is the role of men? It is a war on men. We see it happening in real time.

Starting point is 00:59:30 I can tell you now that I have two children, there is no greater rush you will ever feel than provide, as a man providing for your children. It is the greatest feeling you will ever have. Well, hey, they need this. Can we get it. thah, thah, thah, tha, tha, tha, tha, th. th. tha, th. th. thii. thi. thi, thi, that, they. that, that, tho, tho, tho, tho, that, that, that, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th have. Well, hey, they need this, can we get this? Get it. Bam! There's no better, I'm telling you, dude. And I know you, you're like, get two.

Starting point is 00:59:50 Yeah, yeah. Stock up. I have double. I have two. So it's like, I, like, I can't. So, what's the role of men? How do men feel fit in modern day society, right? And it's like, you know, talking to you and talking to your husband, I could tell your very strong moment and you have a, you have a great head on your shoulders and your family, it's got great structure. I could tell that. There's some

Starting point is 01:00:19 there's great roles between you two, but it's like where's men's roles in society right now and like men are like nobody talks about this I'm gonna do an episode on men are killing themselves at a historical rate right now and like where is that discussion in modern day media it's not there women's breast cancer is like so tragic it's everywhere it is at the halftime show of every Super Bowl. It is what we're talking about. And we should. Why is nobody talking about men are killing themselves at a historical rate?

Starting point is 01:00:55 Why? Because it's like, what is your role right now? And like so much is like when you talk about, you know what, we're talking about reservations, yeah, that's really, guess what? I think big cities are just giant reservations, man, and it can sound totally crazy, right? Maybe I'm wrong and if I'm over stepping, let me know Marissa, seriously, but it's like, look what happens? What is your role? Where do you go? Disconnecting with family? Right, do you have a job? Can you provide? You know, alcoholism, it's like, what's your future?

Starting point is 01:01:29 All this shit, it's like the same thing. You're supposed to be a hero if you stay at home. You're a hero, you're the bad- You're a fucking hero. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, tha, their, the, their, their, tha, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, tho, tho, thooooooooooo-a, their their their their their their their the by saying that, but like as I listen to you, talk about all of the things going on reservations, I go, I could just zoom that out and now I'm talking about living in a big city and how we have no connection to our past. And everything is about our future.

Starting point is 01:02:00 Look at this cool new new thing we're doing. Hey, dude, this is a new way th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, tho, thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. I I I I, th. th. th. I I, th. I, th. I, th. I, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin. tho. thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. the. th we're doing. Look at this cool new. Hey, dude, this is a new way of thinking. This is a new way of looking at it. This is like, well, what about the old way of looking at it? And like, hold on, the old way of looking at it? Where it's like, I like raising children, right? Everything now is it a better group of people? I don't know. Is tough love important? I think so. Why is everything new better? It doesn't seem like it is to me. I mean I was going to say she's right because right now

Starting point is 01:02:39 women they still got to feed the kids. Their job is still there. As a woman, you still got to feed the kids. You still got to clean, you might clean extra because the kids are home. They're not at school. Your jobs are as a man. You don't have a job. The cleaning. The cleaning. The cleaning. The cleaning. The cister's husband doesn't have a job. Okay. No, well she was saying that their job is still their job. their job. their job. their job. their job. their job. their job. their job. their job. their job. their job. their job. their job. their job. their job. their job. their job. their job. their job is still still still still still still still still still still still still their job. their job. their job. their job. their jobs is still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still. their. their job. their job. their job. their job. their job. their job. their job is still. their job is still. their job is still. their job. their. their. their. their job. their. their job. their job. their job. their job. their job. their jobs are still there. Like, yeah, my sister still has clean. My sister's husband doesn't have a job. Yeah. She's at home doing what? Nothing, because not that he doesn't help with the cleaning, but that's kind of like-

Starting point is 01:03:11 He doesn't have a role. Yeah, what is his role? What is his role? Now that you have all somebody who just does it. Like there's so many people that got to learn and we're seeing what she's talking about. Again, we could just zoom out to like big Cs. It's like you have to learn like how to adapt and how to figure out new ways to find, to thrive, right? We hear these know, these young kids are starting these initiatives and, and, you know, they're using the casinos to fund other parts. Like, that's called adapting. But we also have a connection. We have to have a connection to our past.

Starting point is 01:03:58 And we're just, I mean, these people just keep trying to rewrite how we operate. And it just doesn't seem right to me. And like, you know, we had that one gentleman on who was talking about the Adam and Eve and what was the original sin. And like it really hit with me when he goes, the original sin was that man left Gardening Eden, because he thought he could make the rules. That he, he, you know, you brought up source before. Like to me that's such a wonderful term because it's like it takes away all gods and

Starting point is 01:04:30 alas and all that stuff and it's like source dude and our connection to source and what source means and like as a 49 year old drug and sex addict knuckle dragger for me for me to talk about like source is like, it's like a growth for me man because I, like, like, like, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I was I was I was I was I was that I was that I was that I was that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. I th. I th. I th. th. to th. to the. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's talk about like source is like it's like a growth for me man because I did I I was so disconnected from that and it's like so and like that's because I'm how he's raising even in my own family man I don't have any Armenian traditions I don't have any Italian traditions because my my grandparents and my parents culture culture was simulation, man. And like, you know, now that I'm having this conversation with you, I do think it's very important to keep your culture of your people.

Starting point is 01:05:14 You know, it's not to cause riff and division, but to celebrate it. And like I always say, man, this is like, America's greatest strength and as dark as our past was, but our greatest strength is like there is so much wonderful diversity. They've weaponized it, but like we shouldn't allow that. We should enjoy all these different cultures that are here and like, and like we should, you know, you brought up abundance. Like there's enough for everybody. You can get yours, you can get yours.

Starting point is 01:05:46 The scrounging and holding of that is like, and like, and like, and like, and like, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, like, like, like, like, like, it's, like, like, like, like, like, and like, and like, and like, and like, and like, and like, and like, and like, and like, and like, and like, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, it, like, it, it, like, it's, like, it's, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, yours. The scrounging and holding of that is like, it's like causing division and fighting. Everybody gets, dude, there's enough for everybody. The black community should get it, the indigenous culture should get it. Everybody should get it, man, but the people at the top get us all to fight with each other. And it's always the same people, always and always and always again. And we get lost and that's why we have friends that can't stop doing drugs.

Starting point is 01:06:09 And they can't stop drinking because they have no connection to their past and they see no future. And that is an awful place to be, man. And you kind of brought up a little bit, and I don't know if you, if you've talked totally about it, but the collectivism cultures culture culture culture culture culture culture culture culture culture culture culture culture culture culture culture culture culture culture cultures cultures cultures cultures cultures cultures cultures cultures cultures cultures cultures cultures cultures cultures cultures cultures cultures cultures cultures cultures cultures culture culture culture culture culture culture culture culture culture culture culture culture. to to to to to to th. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And, and to to to to to th. And th. And it. And it. And it, and it, and that, and that, and that, and to to to that, and that, and to to to to be. And you kind of brought up a little bit and I don't know if you if you've talked totally about it, but the collectivism cultures compared to American individualistic culture. I think that's really important, man. You know in comedy I've always said it, groups rise man. It's like, you know, in comedy for a very short time there was this whole boxing mentality that could be only one. And then I started watching, I go, oh groups rise, groups work together. Whether it was the Deaf Jam generation of the 90s where all those comics rose, or the nerd culture, or now Joe Rogan's crew, where they all rose together, right? I mean, groups rise. And I think we're just trying to get everybody again to stay home all the time, right? Stay home man you want to be brave, stay home brave person and don't connect with anybody and guess what? You should tell your friends that aren't vaccinated like you are they can't come over

Starting point is 01:07:19 because that's the good that's good for everybody and it's like no man that's actually the worst thing for everybody th th th th. th. th. the f f f. the f. the f. the f. the f. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to tho. the the tho- to to to to the the to the the the the to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th to. to to to to to together together together together together together. together together together together together together. together together together together. together to tho to tho tho tho t good, that's good for everybody. And it's like, no, man, that's actually the worst thing for everybody. Is not the fucking come together and not to work together and not to love each other and accept each other's differences. I have friends of mine that just think I'm the craziest person. But I love them and they love me and it's like that's the acceptance ban. It's like th th th. th. th. bring people together. It's like the law of abundance is the most important thing ever. And I just think it's, you know, I just, this conversation is just so wonderful because I think there's so much that, that we could learn from the history

Starting point is 01:07:58 of what has been done to the indigenous people. And you know, and then you're like, am I talking about the black community. Or am I talk talk talk talk talk talking about poor the talking about poor the the th a th a their their thi their their their their their thi their their their thi tho their tho their their tho ab I their their thoomo ab ab aba. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thoanananana. thoomoboana. thoanana. thoanana. tauuauauananananuanuananuanuanituanituanituanituanit. tha. tha. tha. tha. th know and then you like am I talking about the indigenous people and I talk about the black community or am I talking about poor whites like who am I talking about right it's it's the same game game playbook done over and over again and they just get you to fight with each other and it's just like stop fighting with each other start realizing that you know it's like when that Aubrey guy got killed in Atlanta. I'm like, we should be marching with those people. Those three guys hunted that dude down and shot him in the middle of the street. Whether he was committing crime or not, he deserves his day in court.

Starting point is 01:08:35 We should marching with those people who said that's fucking wrong, because we don't need people doing street justice on other people in the middle of street. The guy deserves his right to fucking to trial. Citizens arrest, what the fucks that? Why don't mind citizens arrest? I don't mind shooting people in broad daylight. Because you think they're guilty of something. But even though, citizens arrest, I'm not pulling over because Johnny, just said, yeah, that guy should have kept running.

Starting point is 01:09:05 Johnny, he kept jogging. Well, he can't, they shot. Wait, wait, wait. I'm talking about before. How's he gonna keep running when he got shot? Well, no, there was an altercation first. He like, like, they stopped the the to'n't the middle of the street when he when when they pulled guns on him he pushed back and they shot him in the middle of the street and somebody comes out to me with guns and tells me to stick around I'm not you know I'm not you know

Starting point is 01:09:29 100 well that's what I'm saying even if they say citizens arrest like hey step by it's a citizen arrest I'm like no I'm like yeah yeah I got a go so I mean what your thoughts on tho so th so th so I th so I the th so I th so I the th so I th the th th the the th th th the th th th the th th th th the tho the tho the the tho tho the th th the the the I the the I th the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th their th th th th th th the I the I the I the I the I the I the I the I the the the the the the the the theeee the the the the the the the they the they brought up a couple of things that I definitely wanted to touc on. You said the law of abundance, and I like that you brought this up at your show when we were there too, actually, because my people have always believed in abundance. And we have, so what you'll hear, and you know, you brought up the Hopiys earlier, Hopes are super cool. They got all kinds of, they got all kinds of really cool oral histories and traditions.

Starting point is 01:10:07 My little brother's girlfriend is Hopi. And so, you know, I've had some conversations with some Hopi people. But what you don't hear in history books is that each tribe or band has what we call creation stories. So, you know, our people are salmon people. We say, so in our creation story, which is like similar to like your Adam and Eve story, I guess you could say, is that, you know, the man and the woman, the man and the woman were created and they were facing each other. So you had the women, the women standing on the south, north, east, south, west. Hold on the, the women. The women standing on the south, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, th. th, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the. the. thea, thea, thea, thea, thea, treea, treea, treea, treea, treea, treea, treea, treea, treea, t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. tree. tree, t. t. tree, tree, t. t. t. t. tree, t. tree, tree, tree, tree, tree, tree. toe, tooe, tooooooooa. toa. tooa. toa. toa. toa. toea. toea. toea, sorry, I got to think.

Starting point is 01:10:49 The women were standing on the south, northeast, south, west. The men and the women were standing, you know, facing each other on each side. And when Creator created our people, he called them the Titite, and that just means the people of the land. And when he created them, he called upon different animals and plant life of Earth to stand up and sacrifice themselves in the, to continue to sustain these people, you know, for your time and memorial. And this is where like that law of abundance and like the way that our peoples, interacted with the land and with the earth forever, you know, up until colonization took place,

Starting point is 01:11:27 up until westernization came. And so, you know, the salmon were the first. And then you had the four-legged animals, the deer, the elk, the moose, the bear, you know, et cetera. Then you have, you have your bird life. And the, you know, those th, you have, you have your bird, you have your bird, you have your bird, you have, you have, you have your bird, you have, you have, you have, their bird, their bird, their, their, their, their, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you have, you, you, you, you, you, you have your bird, their, their, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, and, and, their, their, their, their, their, clionionlionionionionionionionionionionionionionion., their, their, their, their, and, their, their, their would gather. And then you also have the women's foods. So like your roots and your berries and your medicines that you would gather all throughout the year. And we traveled this on a seasonal round gathering, each of these things in our creation story that said that they would give themselves up and sacrifice. I can go drive 15 minutes up the mountain and find food. I can't try. their. their. to their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the the the the to the the the the to to the the to the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thr. to their. the. the. the. their their their their their. And their. And their. And their. And their. And their. And their. And their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. the care of the water and continue to take care of the plants and the animals and gather them and sacrifice, you know, they were always going to be taken care of. So that abundance factor was always there. I've tried to ask elders about like aliens and like star people and stuff.

Starting point is 01:12:34 I can never get anything good. Nobody like nobody ever bites my cook. But yeah, there's a lot of different things, you know, and another, I go in these little, it depends on where I'm at in my journey of life, but like right before I got pregnant, right before I was even really thinking about having a baby, I was really on this quest, I was working in maternal and child health at that time, and I was really on this quest for, you know, what did our predatial care and our births look like? What songs were saying? What medicines were used? What traditions were done within the family? What did that look like? And it was still, you know, I got together a group of elders

Starting point is 01:13:13 that I knew that I thought would be able to provide me with information. And they did, but it still was like, how do we pull this information out? Because, you know, like, and I I I I I I I I's health and, you know, all that stuff for days upon days. That's a, I support a lot of women through that journey and just making sure that they have the information, the education that I was given by my midwife and by my elders, just from what I know, you know, what does it mean to have a strong body, mind and heart? What does it mean to tho, th......... I, thi. I, thi. I, thi. I, thi. I, thi. I, thi. I, thi. I, thi. I, thi. I, thi. I, thi. I the. I the. I thoe. I thi. I thi. I'm the. I the, the, the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the, I the, I the, I the, I the. I the. I the. I'm a thro. I'm a to to to toean. toean. toean. toean. toean. toeateauuuuuuuuuuuuuu. I support thoooe. I thied to that. And so for me it just kind of comes down to whatever phase of life that I'm in and reaching out to those elders that that I have always learned from and and asking them that telling them about what I he'll just start talk, like he just tells me stories about his life

Starting point is 01:14:07 or about like when this was happening and there's just so much storytelling that's done within our cultures and within our communities that is so valuable and they always tell us that like when we're at the long house or we're at ceremony, they're always lecturing the young people. You need to be listening. You need to hear to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their, their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, their, their, their, to, their, to, to, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, theiroomorrow, their, the be standing here. This is where you're going to be. So you have to know what you need to do. You have to know how to take care of these things and how to take care of yourself. And, you know, that's one of my most favorite parts of my life is that I have this information

Starting point is 01:14:39 and this knowledge and I feel so connected to the source that's within me. And I think that when you're talking about like, you know, the issues with men right now, and then you go into like just the isolation in general, putting people in isolation, and this is why I don't believe in like institutions. Like people sending somebody with mental illness into jail for stealing food or whatever they did. I don't know for survival, putting them in an institution where they're literally going to go crazy is not going to, you know, make their addiction any better or give them the

Starting point is 01:15:08 health that they need. You know, there's just all of these things that we don't treat. We're never treat. We're never actually people, and I always say this, because I work with young children, and when I to thr- I work their their their their their their their their their their their their their, I work their, I work their, I work their, I work their, I work their, I work th.. th. th. th. thr, I work thr, I work, I work thr, I'm, I'm, th. th. th. th. their, their, their, their, their, their, you their, you their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, I'm, I'm, I'm, their, their, their, their, th. And, thr. And, thr. And, thr. And, th. th. th. the. th. the. th. th. the. the. th. the. th. I have to show up in the most clear source form that I possibly can because when I walk into my classroom, if I'm still carrying whatever had me pissed off that morning or even the night before, it's going to affect how my energy is going to affect how I interact with them, especially my students that are on the spectrum because they're experiencing the world completely than you and I are. And, you know, getting to be able to be in those environments with children in particular has really taught me how to attune myself and how to attune my vibration. But I always say this, when you're working with children or you see people working with children

Starting point is 01:15:57 or even parenting, which a lot of us do, where a lot of us are parents, you can see people's core wounds. And a lot of thiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, thi, thi, thi, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thr. thr-a. the, the, the, the, the, thrown, the, the, to thi. thrown, in thi. core wounds come out. And a lot of times, what are those core wounds? I'm not enough, I'm not loved, I'm not heard, I'm not seen, you know, what is it? And I think that, you know, like going back to alcoholism or going back to anything you want to talk about opioid addiction, you know, like that's one of the most severe addictions that are ever there, and it's almost almost almost almost almost almost almost almost almost almost almost almost always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always there, and it's almost always directly tied to emotional trauma. So, you know, figuring out, and this is why I'm always talking about wellness and healing because I want so badly for people to feel the way that I feel.

Starting point is 01:16:33 I want you to feel happy, I want you to feel healthy. I want you to feel at ease. What does it feel like to have a calm, regulated nervous system? I. I do a lot of parent education talking about the brain, talking about our brain states. When are you able to use your prefrontal cortex and when are you just acting from your brain stem, from your survival state? What does that look like? How do you activate those different parts of your brain

Starting point is 01:16:53 so that you can show up and be regulated in your life? And like meet your little kid that just wants to like play with blocks. You know, like, I just want to color. They just want to do, they want connection, right? How do you, how do we as adults learn to give ourselves the connection that we are seeking? That is what substance use is, is trying to feel that void and that numbness. And you know, and I can say this And I hit it well for a long time. Like as a high schooler, I was partying so much. And when I think about myself now, I'm like, what?

Starting point is 01:17:28 Like I can't even fathom. I can't even fathom it. And it's like what was going on in my brain at that time that I felt like I needed to drink all the time. Oh, I wanted to be accepted. You know, what are those things? And it sounds like so cheesy at the same time, but that's the reality of it. And when we know, like, when we think about high schoolers and where they're at developmentally,

Starting point is 01:17:51 yeah, everybody wants to be seen. So they're going to jump into those things that everybody else is doing like that core wound piece is something that I really like to highlight whenever I can because we all have them. For me, like I sit like I have created the most beautiful life. I have the most amazing partner. I have a daughter, I have an amazing support system and family. I have a wonderful job. I have all of these beautiful things that I'm doing, but still there's some days that I wake up and my nervous system is disregulated and I'm constantly looking for that enemy. What's going to jump out and get me? What's going to go wrong?

Starting point is 01:18:30 Is my life going to fall apart? What's happened? Like this, these fighter flight things that take place in our child. It's particularly between the ages of zero and seven when that subconscious is th is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is th is th is th is th is thii is th is thi is thi is thi is thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thioun't thioucant is going thi, thi. thi, thi, what's thi, what's going tooomom and that's that's that's that's that's that's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's. What's, what's. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. What's going. What's going thi. thi. thi's going toe thi's going toeanananananan't toeate. What's going toeats going toe. What's going thi. What's going thi. What's going th's just a lot of things that happen within our bodies and our minds that we've not been told about, we've not been taught about, and this is why, like when I took my first psychology class when I was 19, I was like, what the fuck? Why has nobody ever told me about the different parts of my brain? Why have I never learned about these things? Why am I just now knowing why am I just now realizing this? And so going through school and taking a lot of those psychology classes and you know, even just everything that I learned in

Starting point is 01:19:12 school allowed me to go into a deep self-study to really look at my life and understand why I was the way that I am. And so now, you know, like I've co-created this beautiful life with the universe, being on your godd-d-d what the hell? Like, what the hell? Like, I'm just a little res girl, you know? I live here in the Northeastern Oregon. I don't like, I, I, it's crazy and it's so funny because, like, right before we walked into your hotel room, like, I'm't know, didn't acknowledge it probably and then sure and like sure enough that happened. So it's like you want to talk about the law of abundance, you want to talk about these

Starting point is 01:19:49 things, you want to talk about the power of believing in yourself and that's something like again where I get to come from such a place of privilege because my parents always thi. thi. th do. They're like, anything you want, do it. The world's yours, go get it. And, you know, especially, you know, I went through a reunification process, you know, moving back in with my mom when I was eight.

Starting point is 01:20:13 And that's a huge transition for a lot of kids, you know, especially our kids that are in foster care system, when they're reunifying with their their really challenging, not just for the parent, but for the child. We don't know how to interact with our parents if we haven't been around them. And also if we have that abandonment as part of our core wounds, how do I show up in front of you and make sure that I'm loved? How do I know you're not going to leave me? So that defense that clicks on and so now me and my adult life in this beautiful life going to leave me. So that defense that clicks on and so now me and my adult life in this beautiful life that I've created so much of my work, especially since having my daughter has been teaching myself, teaching my nervous system, like I would just like to, especially

Starting point is 01:20:54 in like my breath work classes, you know, I like to use the picture of like a disregulated nervous system as like a forest fire. Can you make it like a calm river? Can you calm your body down? Can you bring that hypervigilance down? What does it feel like in your body to feel calm? And then a lot of our people who have experienced drama or who have experienced addiction, you know, in turn are also addicted to drama and chaos. You're constantly, you want that ignition of that fight or flight and then again going back into like food sovereignty if you're eating processed foods and processed sugars those are also going to trigger

Starting point is 01:21:27 that inflammation in the body which also is going to trigger your nervous system. So you know a lot of my work over the last several years of my adult life has just been figuring out what I need to make sure that I can show up in the world in this regulated calm space because I want to live a happy life and I want th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to to to to thi. thi. to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to the. to to to toee. toeeeeeeeeeeeeea. I toeeeea. toeeeea. I toea. toe. toe. to to because I want to live a beautiful life. I want to live a happy life and I want everybody else to also but it's not always pretty it's not all it's not always easy for me. Yes. I think that I struggle with that. I have struggled in the past with like really being open about how I feel about things because I don't want anybody to ever feel like I'm perfect because I'm not but I also very much know what I want in to to to go to go to go to go to go to go to go.. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the to be the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to ever feel like I'm perfect because I'm not. But I also very much know what I want in my life and I'm not afraid to go get it. So I think, you know, what does it mean to have that authentic self-expression?

Starting point is 01:22:12 What does it mean to have that authentic self-esteem? How do we build those things up in childhood? Like, I'm a mom to an 18-month-old, and I, with all of the knowledge that I have I have the knowledge, the knowledge, to to to to to the knowledge, to to to to the knowledge, to to to to to to to to to their, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to-s, to-s, to-s, to-s, to-s, to-s, to-s, to-s, to-s, to-s, to to to to thi, thi-s, thi-s, the the, the, thean, thean, thean, throooooooooooooooooooooooan, to-s, to-s, to-s, to-s, to-the knowledge that I have, I had focused so much on creating a secure attachment with her. I was freaked out, leaving my kid to go to an exercise class. So I'm like, she's going to feel like she's, I'm abandoning her. And it's like, no, kill. Pump the breaks, you know, and like, thank God I have such a supportive partner because he truly, like he meets me in this space. And, and that that th, th, th, th, thi thi, thi, thi, thi, like, like, thi, thi, like, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. And I th. And, th. And, I th. And, I th. And, I th, I th, I th. And, I th. And, I th. And, I th. And, I I I I I th. And, I I I I I I I, I I I th. And, I I I th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, thi, thr. And, thr. And, thr-a, thr-a. And, thr-I's, thr-I's, thr-I's, thr-I'm, thr-a. And, thr-a. And, in this space. And that for me is the most wonderful thing. I have, you know, I have a few things in life that I really want. One of them is I don't want to be an addict. I don't want to be an addict.

Starting point is 01:22:51 I don't want that to be a part of my life. I deal with it in many facets. I've been an addict in the past. And that's that's that's that's that's that's just that's just that's just that I do get to do with my partner and I'm really thankful for that. And I don't know, I think that, you know, there's so much that goes into it. And I think, you know, this period of isolation has really pushed and challenged everybody. It's either, you know, it's made you or it's made you or it's made you, it's made you, it's made you, it's made you, it's made you, it's made you, it's made you, it's made you, it's made you, it's made you, it's made you, it's made you, it's made th, it's made th. It's made th. It's made th. It's made, th. It's made, thi. It's made, th. It's made thi. It's made, it's made, it's made, it's made, it's made, it's made, it's made, it's made, it's made, it's made, it's made, it's made, it's made, it's made, it's made th. It's made th. It's made th. It's made th. It's made th. It's made th. It's made th. It's made th. It's made th. It's made th. It's made th. It's made th. It's made th. It's made th. It's made th. It's made th. It's made th. It's made thin, it's made th. It's made th. It's made thin, it's made th. It's made thi. It's made th. It's made th. It's made you, it makes you or breaks you. And, you know, for me, I'm really thankful to say that it's really made me. I was six months pregnant when all of this COVID stuff started,

Starting point is 01:23:31 terrified. Like, it was terrifying experience at that point in time. You know, what I had envisioned for my pregnancy and bringing my child into the world was not anything of what it looked like. Thankfully, like I already had a home bode. tha tha. tha. tha. tha, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like. Thankfully, I already had a home birth plan, so I like boycotted a lot of that, like medical stuff that was happening, which was wonderful and I had, you know, I've had a wonderful support system

Starting point is 01:23:54 even through like my postpartum phase, but that's a whole other thing. Like our country does not support mothers, and we do not support young, new mothers mothers in general that postpartum phase and for fathers at the same time, like families are so vulnerable in that time when you're learning how to take care of a human and trying to keep it alive, like it's,

Starting point is 01:24:13 it's rough, it's rough, and so the support, you know, the support, like I'm so thankful like I have a mom and grandies that like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, to, th.. th. to. th. th. to. th. to, I, I, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. laundry or do my dishes. And you know, like that those little things really count and it matters. And I think, you know, that's like I try to live my life in that collectivistic approach. What does my community and what does that look like? Where do I fit within the community? What are my structures of support? What do my systems? like, you know, down to like the everyday moments, my morning routine. Yep, gotta wake up an hour before my kid does so that I can have like a moment of sanity and like make sure that I can show up to my life in a way that's positive and healthy and

Starting point is 01:24:52 good. And like, I want to feel good in the morning. I don't have a, you know, start that nervous system is so important for not just parents but you know everybody and that's something that we don't I think you know it's another thing that was manipulated by the system as far as like the go go go the busy busy especially you guys that are like in big cities you know it's just such a different type of environment where I like open my friend door and I got a pond with Keese and Ducks and you know you know it totally I want it really badly and I'm going to start working on that.

Starting point is 01:25:28 Everything you're saying resonates with me, you know, in terms of just having children, taking care of children, you know, so much I've learned in recovery about dealing with addiction. You know, there are some people that could just have some party and enjoy and they're like and for some reason they do and then there's a lot of people who get lost in it because you know real-world stuff is very painful and you know for me it's just like I did want to deal with where I was in my life. All my friends around me were, you know, giant I used to close shows with these people. Now they're headliners and I can't th. I can't th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. their their thi. thi. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the. I can't the. I can't the. I can't the. I can't theeeateatean. I can't thean. I can't theatean. Iean. Iean. Iean. I'm the. I'm the. I used to close shows with these people. Now, they're headliners and I can't get booked anywhere. And that gets very dark and it becomes this weird thing that, you know,

Starting point is 01:26:11 this kind of dragon that eats its own tail, you know, where it's like, I'm not getting booked, uh, so I'm drinking, but then I'm not getting booked so I'm going to drink. And it just like all my problems I'm thin bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo problems problems problems problems problems problems problems problems problems problems problems problems problems problems problems I problems I but then I'm not getting books so I'm gonna drink and then it just becomes this weird thing and it's just like all my problems I had when I was using and abusing they never went away they were always there and they just started compounding and compounding and then it gets so much it seems like such a big hill to overcome but it's like every day just chip away chip away overcome, but it's like every day, just chip away, chip away, chip away. And it's like, you know, for me in my life is like discipline, like everything is discipline. It's like, you know, it's like, don't use no matter what. It's like I used to hear that and be like, yeah, whatever.

Starting point is 01:26:58 And then I would never, no matter what, if it's like, I think something's going to put me in a position to trigger me, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, th...., th., th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th... And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, if it's like, I think something's gonna put me in a position to trigger me, I don't go there, I don't drive there, I don't hang out there, I don't do anything about it. And the biggest thing I ever learned was two things that helped me. Was one is I stopped judging people's outsides. I stopped looking looking at people going, oh they have it all together and their lives are wonderful and they got everything and they're happy and I have none of it and I'm a miserable fuck. And like I've just been on this road so long as like,

Starting point is 01:27:37 listen, in my life everybody goes through it, dude, and you don't know what's going through their lives. It's why Chris Far Far Far Far Far Far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far know what's going through their lives it's why Chris Farley ends up doing drugs and OD and you like this guy's at the peak of comedy he is that he is what every guy who dream or woman ever anybody who dreams are doing comedy you know that's what you dream of you you know you're you're on setting alive you're doing movies or you couldn't stop doing drugs and die why because he couldn't well yeah bal she too couldn't the they. th you th you th you th you Belushi too. Couldn't deal what's going on inside.

Starting point is 01:28:06 Okay, things, things don't make you happy. There's this old saying. You know, whoever dies with the most toys wins. Couldn't be a bigger lie. Couldn't be a bigger lie! Those who die helping the most people, that's who the most, that's who wins. Who connects with the most. Who helps. Who thoes. thoes. thoes. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. thi. thi. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. Things. Things. Things. Things. Things. Things. Things. Things. Things. tho. Things. Things. Things. th. th. Things. th. th. Things. th. th. th. th. th. Things. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. to. to. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Things. Things the most people, that's who wins. Who connects with the most? Who helps the most? This might be weird thought.

Starting point is 01:28:27 Do you think anybody... It's XG, of course, to weird thoughts. You think anybody that's like sober going to, like, are expecting a crazy tragedy to happen and have a reason to redo it? What do you mean? It happens all the time. Something bad happens and it just gives them an excuse to go out. And you know, you just said never. You said, I never, no matter what. But usually I hear people who they're like waiting.

Starting point is 01:28:50 Yeah. The real ones, no matter what. No matter what. Family death, losing job, lost everything in their life. No matter what. Because you deal with it, man, you deal with it, okay. And it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, they, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they. they. they. the, the, the, they. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, And it's just like, and you know, everything, you know, here's the whole thing. Anything going on in your life, you are the sky and everything else is the weather. And what does that mean? That means it's passing through. You are the sky. You are always there. All this shit going on in your life, this two shall pass. Everything in recovery is as cliche as it possibly could be the the the the the the the the the the the the, the, here the, here the, here the, here the, here the, here the, here the, here the, here the, here the, here the, here the, here the, here the's the's the' the' the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole thi, here, here thi, here thi, here thi, here thi, here thi, here the, here the, here the, here the, here the, here the, here the, here the, here the, here the, here the, here the, here the, here the, here's theanananuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu thi. Here's thi All this shit going on in your life, this two shall pass. Everything in recovery is as cliche as it possibly could be

Starting point is 01:29:27 because it's all true, man, this two shall pass. All that stops. Stop judging other people's out, your insides by other people's outsides. And the final thing is this, when it comes recovery, nobody's thinking about you. That's the biggest thing in the world, the world, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th. th. th, th. th. th. tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, thu, thing in the world man. I used to think there was a shadow group of people they were just going to hold me back because I was so great at what I was doing and they just didn't want me to realize my

Starting point is 01:29:52 dreams and the truth was the only people hold my back was myself. Nobody's thinking about you. If something screws with you, it's probably a drive by. Right and they're doing it to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin thin thin thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi thi. thi's thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th thi th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. they's thi. they's thi. they's comes out in the watch. That's so hard to convince yourself of though. You know what? It's real hard. Because everything's personal. You think everybody's thinking of you all the time. And guess what? Everyone's dealing with their own shit. They're in their own. Like everybody is almost their own dimension. their own dimension. And they're in their their their their own. their their own. their own. their their own. their their their their their own. their their their their own. their own. their own. their own. their own. their their their their own. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. It's is thi. It's is t. It's t. It's ti. It's ti. It's ti. It's ti. It's ti. It's ti. It's ti. It's ti. ti. tir own dimension, and they're dealing with their own dimension, and you are just passing through, okay? Most of the time, it's not personal. And here's the thing, if they're doing it to you, they're probably doing it to all these other people. And it all comes out in the watch in his abundance versus scarcity. There's a story about when Ringo Starr quit, and he th quit because he felt like the other three guys were a unit and he was just on the outside and so first he went to John

Starting point is 01:30:49 Lennon and said listen man I'm leaving I'm leaving the Beatles man because I just feel like you three guys you know have it are so tied to their. I thought it was you three and then he goes to Paul and Paul says the same thing isn't that great it so they so they so they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all th I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi goes to Paul and Paul says the exact same thing. Isn't that great? So they all thought that there was some that was why they were finding. Think about that's such a that's so indicative of relationships. You know you think everybody else has had something that you don't have and that they're looking at you laughing and and it's all in your head man. Yeah, your ego is not your amigo man. And it happens all all. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that's. that's. that's. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's so so so so so that's so that's so that's so that's so that's so that's so that's so that's so that's so that's so that's so that's all the time and you just got to get out of your way and everything anything worth anything is going to take time. There's a the old saying if it was easy everybody would be doing it and it's just the truth man and it's like everything I did on drugs. I do sober. Some things aren't the best and I got to deal with other trauma in my life. But so anything I'm doing, the things that I the

Starting point is 01:31:52 feeling of tweaking I got, right, when I tweaked like that high that I couldn't get away with, I get that from waking up sober in the morning. I get the same high I get the same high when I hang out with my children. There are highs out there that are natural and good for you and you just got to go find them. And you just, and it's like, you know, a good friend of my name, Jimmy Cohen once told me this, that really helped me. You know, it's like sometimes, you know, we have entities around us. Like, you remember the lost boys were the the their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their, th. th. their, th. their, th. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi. thi. that, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi. thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their their their their their the Dracula in or the vampire and you have to invite them into your house they have the house has some vitamin and that's the only way it can come in well that's also sources of light there's sources of lights around you at all time okay and they want to help but they can only help is if you ask for that help and at these moments of weakness you have to ask for help the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to their their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. I I I I I I'm their. their their their their their their their toooeses. toe. toe. toe. their their their toe. the Ask for help. It sounds stupid.

Starting point is 01:32:45 It sounds dumb. But it's real, man. It's real. And how do I know it's real? Because when I apply to my life, my life changes for the better. That's the only way I know it's real. There's no science experiment that you can do that can prove any of this. It's not provable. It's just not. It's not. These are things that

Starting point is 01:33:05 are outside the realms of the laws of physics that they don't want you to believe it. But this is what makes it special. And it's like believing in yourself, asking for your health from the universe. So what Jimmy Cohen used to say is you pray to source, to God, whatever you believe in. And you go, hey man, ha, help me to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th th th. th th thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their their, their, their, their, their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their their, their their, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their tho, tho. thoooooooooo. the. thoooooooooooooooes. the. the. the the. Help me not do drugs and alcohol today. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow I'll do it. Maybe tomorrow I'll do drugs, but not today. And then guess what you do tomorrow? You ask again, let me not do it for this 24 hours. Let me not do it today.

Starting point is 01:33:35 Maybe tomorrow you do it. Marissa, you came, you saw you drop the hammer of the gods on us. And I hope because this was a banger man, it's a real banger, and I really hope that you, that people find you from this and support you and I hope that you I hear I get to see tweets and Instagram post about you doing all these other wonderful podcast out there because I think you're very important to your people and your movement and what you're trying to do and there's so much more we can get into and we could do it in the future you're always welcome back on the show. So one more time tell them where they can find you the the the the the the the they they they they can find they can find they can find they can find they can find they can find they can find the the they can find the the their their their their their their their their thi thi thi thi thi their thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. they can they can they can they can they can they can find they can find they can find they can find they can find they can find they can find they can find they can find thi thi the thee. theeeat. theateat. the. theat. the. theate. the. they're always welcome back on the show. So one more time, tell them where they can find you, Instagram, Twitter, and the name of your podcast and where they can find it. You know, I don't got a Twitter. So there's that. No Twitter for me.

Starting point is 01:34:39 Maybe I'll jump on the band of it. Social media is one of those things where I like, I like, I, I don't th. I don't th. I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I, I don't, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their, their. their, their, their, their, their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the. the. the. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the. the bandway. And social media is one of those things where I like, I dance a fine line where I'm like, and you did a joke about this. Somebody that just showed it a joke about this of like, needing to take a break from social media. I'm that girl. I'm like, I need breaks, I need breaks often. But I have a couple different places you can find me. The podcast is our medicine stories. on on on on on on on on the the the the the the the the the the their their medicine stories, their medicine stories, I th. I their medicine stories, th. I's their medicine stories, th. I's their medicine, th. I'm th. I'm th. th. th. thi thi, theat. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I th. I th. I the. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the today. the today. today. to toe. to to to to Spotify right now. And then I have an Instagram page that's Native Women's Wellness Movement, so movement just MVMT at the end of that.

Starting point is 01:35:12 And it's not a ton of activity on there right now. Really hoping to bring a retreat onto the reservation in the in 2022, just to again, increase that capacity for healing and wellness opportunities. And yeah, I really appreciate you guys having me on here. Loved all the things that I got to talk about with you and looking forward to more. Looking forward to where this takes me next. So appreciate your guys's time for sure. Well, you crushed it. You did excellent. You came, you saw you drop the hammer of the gods.

Starting point is 01:35:42 And just make sure when you hang up you you email me all the links so I can include it and we'll do it again Again, we'll do it again soon and say hello to your husband and I appreciate your time. You did a wonderful job. Thank you so much. Guys, I love you. The end of the year is coming again. This is the this was the big the big fifth year anniversary of Timful hat and we can't thank you enough for the journey we're still in the top 50 after five years that's unbelievable and it's all because of you the swarm and just know we work very hard to put out the best episodes who can with the most unique guests I don't I'm not even I just want to get unique people and like today's to the the the to to the to the to today's today's today's today's today's today's today's today's today's today's today's today's today's today's today's today's today's today's to today. to be. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. th. th. I th. I th. I thi thi thi thi thi thi today's today's today's today's today's today's today's today's today's today's tod names. I don't even, I just want to get unique people and like today's episode and I cannot thank

Starting point is 01:36:29 you enough for what you've done for me and my family and my friends and I love you very much and here's to another five years. Thank you guys very much. We'll talk to you soon. We go deep home boys. You guys, open your mind. Drink from the fountain of knowledge. There's lizard people everywhere. That's some interdimensional shit. Wake up, Aaron.

Starting point is 01:37:00 This is only the beginning. You just move my mind.

Tin Foil Hat With Sam Tripoli - #517: Seven Generations Ahead with Marissa Baumgartner

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