Tin Foil Hat With Sam Tripoli - #851: Dumpster Fire With Bridget Phetasy

Episode Date: January 21, 2025

Thank you for tuning in to another episode of Tin Foil Hat with Sam Tripoli. This week, we’re joined by the hilarious Bridget Phetasy to unpack the current chaos unfolding in America. From the upcom...ing Trump administration to the deepening division and unrest across the nation, we leave no stone unturned. We also dive into California’s increasingly authoritarian, almost communist trajectory. Strap in for an eye-opening conversation full of raw insights—you won’t want to miss this one. Nothing but bangers! Thanks for all your support! Grab your copy of the 2nd issue of the Chaos Twins now and join the Army Of Chaos: https://bit.ly/415fDfY Check out Sam Tripoli's new special "Why is Everybody Gettin Quiet?" that drops Oct 15th on Rumble.com, Twitter X, Youtube and SamTripoli.com! Join the WolfPack at Wise Wolf Gold and Silver and start hedging your financial position by investing in precious metals now!  Go to samtripoli.gold and use the promo code "TinFoil" and we thank Tony for supporting our show. CopyMyCrypto.com: The ‘Copy my Crypto’ membership site shows you the coins that the youtuber ‘James McMahon’ personally holds - and allows you to copy him. So if you’d like to join the 1300 members who copy James, then stop what you’re doing and head over to: CopyMyCrypto.com/TFH You’ll not only find proof of everything I’ve said - but my listeners get full access for just $1 Check out Sam "DoomScrollin with Sam Tripoli and Midnight Mike" Every Thursday At 2:30pm pst on Youtube, X Twitter, Rumble and Rokfin!  Want to see Sam Tripoli live?  Get tickets at SamTripoli.com: The World- Sam Tripoli's new special "Why is Everybody Gettin Quiet?" that drops Oct 15th on Rumble.com and SamTripoli.com!   Batavia, IL:  The Comedy Vault Jan 23rd-25th https://www.comedyvaultbatavia.com/events/103545   Columbus, Ohio:  Tin Foil Hat Comedy Live At the Columbus Funnybones Feb 6th https://www.etix.com/ticket/p/75622775/tin-foil-hat-comedy-night-columbus-funny-bone-comedy-club-columbus   Pottstown, Pa: Feb 7th:  Tin Foil Hat Comedy Live At Soul Joels Feb 7th https://www.souljoels.com/shop/tickets/swarmtankspecialevent/   Morristown, Nj: Tin Foil Hat live at The Dojo Of Comedy Feb 8th https://www.tiffscomedy.com/events/103149   Phoenix, Az:  The House Of Comedy Arizona Feb 27th- March 1st https://aztickets.houseofcomedy.net/event/sam-tripoli-9938398e   Please check out Bridget Phetasy's internet: Podcast:  Dumpster Fire- https://bit.ly/4g8uSsh Podcast: Walk-Ins Welcome- https://bit.ly/3Wx1Yej Website:  https://www.phetasy.com Twitter:  https://x.com/BridgetPhetasy instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bridgetphetasy   Please check out SamTripoli.com for all things Sam Tripoli. Please check out Sam Tripoli's Linktree: https://linktr.ee/samtripoli Please Follow Sam Tripoli's Comedy Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/samtripolicomedy/ Please Follow Sam Tripoli's Podcast Clip Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/samtripolispodcastclips/   Thank you to our sponsors: The Perfect Jean: It’s finally time to stop crushing your balls in uncomfortable jeans by going to theperfectjean.nyc. Our listeners get 15% off your first order plus Free Shipping, Free Returns and Free Exchanges when you use code  TINFOIL15 at checkout. That’s 15% off for new customers at theperfectjean.nyc with promo code TINFOIL15. After you purchase, they’ll ask you where you heard about them. PLEASE support our show and tell them we sent you. F*%k your khakis and get The Perfect Jean   Mint Mobile: Switch to Mint and new customers can get half off an Unlimited plan until February 2. 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Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Tin foil hat. Yo, what the fuck are you guys even talking about? Global controls will have to be imposed. And a world governing body will be created to enforce them. Welcome to Tin Foil Hat. We go deep home, boys. Eric, open your mic. Drink from the fountain of knowledge.
Starting point is 00:00:27 There's lizard people everywhere. That's some interdimensional shit. Wake up, Aaron. This is only the beginning. You just blew my mind. Are you ready to get your mind blown? I just got the phone with a bunch of people and they all want to move to Austin. Were those people us?
Starting point is 00:00:51 No. It was you guys? I think Callan wants to move. I think Shaw wants to move too. I think they all want to leave. I never thought Callan would have ever wanted to move. Because he's Hollywood. I mean, he's been on NBC, he's had his sitcom show
Starting point is 00:01:08 for him to want to leave. Yeah, but he got excommunicated off some bullshit. You know, it's like how many things do we have to hear where it's like, you know, this Blake Lively stuff seems to be not what we were first told. My conspiracy is that they started the fires. Oh, dude, you never know bro. I mean he looks like some of these people.
Starting point is 00:01:30 I got a lot of trouble on the internet because I posted something about Julia Roberts. I saw that. And I took it down because the dangerously dumb were like, are you saying black people are the artists it is? I'm like, I'm not saying black people, I'm saying some are ah You want to explain what it was that you do? Yeah, you want to I mean it was this thing of it was showing her during The riots the BLM riots defending essentially that whole you know supporting BLM And then now her calling the people looting during this what did she call my fuck you motherfuckers? Yeah Okay, but it's your stuff. You really seem
Starting point is 00:02:05 to care. It's funny how that works. No, but that's every, that is everything. Like everything's cool as long as it's happened to somebody else. Right? Yeah. And to me, it's right. Go on. Sorry. Oh no. I, I was just going to say, especially for that segment of people. Yeah. It's very weird. It's, it's because we had BLM riots outside our studio and they, they burned down an Argentinian restaurant that I'm pretty sure has done nothing to black people. They just reopened that by Lala's just got, that's literally on my block where I used to live and they, yeah, that was on fire. Yeah. And they just reopened it now years later.
Starting point is 00:02:44 And it's like, I had white friends in there riding for black people burning down Argentinian restaurants like and it didn't matter if you have an LGBTQ flag there sometimes all because you would see people just have things like stop don't really don't loot here I support and sometimes didn't care Yeah, they did if you were part of the you are you were part, if you were on the way of the riot or at the riot, you're going down. It's not about, for most of those people, it was nothing to do with ideology. They were just there to steal shit. That's what they were doing. Stealing shit. Right. And then you had all these Hollywood elites all going, ah, ah, ah, match, match, match, you know, when people were throwing money in to bail these guys out.
Starting point is 00:03:26 Hmm. Ridiculous. The L.M. sign didn't work. It wasn't the deterrent. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My favorite meme is where people are putting the, uh, the, um, the, the gay pride flag above their, uh, their door. Like, you know, it's like, it's like, yeah. That's great. Like Passover.
Starting point is 00:03:47 Keep moving, keep moving, keep moving, keep moving. So as somebody, now you were in LA, right? I was for 17 years. And then you, now you moved to Austin. I did like all the basic bitches from California. Do you think after this fire, you're going to see a lot more people moving? I mean I think there were probably a lot of people who wanted to who were on the fence.
Starting point is 00:04:13 You know I think I don't I don't know anyone in Los Angeles who it's funny this whole like you know like LA strong we will rebuild I'm like all you fucking people hate each other. What are you talking about? I'm glad the all you fucking people hate each other. What are you talking about? I'm glad the community is rallying together and it's nice to see, but it's just very like that city is so every man for themselves. I've never been in a city that's more of a self-centered rat race than Los Angeles. And I think a lot of people were on the fence about staying there throughout many of the past 10 years in general and people who, one, don't have a home anymore are probably going to be like, F this, I'm out of here.
Starting point is 00:04:57 And other people who might have been on the fence about staying or going, this would generally be, I would think, another sign to get out. Well, I mean, like the industry's already hurting. Like how many of these people are like cogs in the machine of the industry have no house? I mean, at one point, weren't you thinking about buying a house, Sam, a couple years ago or something? Is that out the door now?
Starting point is 00:05:21 In LA? Yeah, in LA. Is that completely out the door, even if you got a good deal? I mean, like now you gotta go, hey, is this thing got a smart meter on it? Does it got a smart meter? Okay knock a hundred grand off this right? I mean I'd never do that. What's a smart meter? So so it's so funny I was talking to a good friend of mine. A smart meter is PG&E out here. They they've installed new meters and they're called smart meters They're so smart. They blow up and just destroy the whole entire house
Starting point is 00:05:54 But they leave all the vegetation it's a very weird Explosion it's like it blows up it destroys every floor everything but leaves all the greenery around it all the stuff of the water in it Yeah, yeah, okay. Yeah, Johnny and I have that Johnny Johnny believes that That isn't weird that tree about controlled burns They do control burns all the time where they burn all the underbrush in a forest and all the trees still they don't catch fire Johnny I went down this rabbit hole the other night because I was wondering the same thing and apparently there was a lot of explaining that people had to do about why the trees don't burn
Starting point is 00:06:31 during Maui. So there are quite a few tutorials out there about why trees don't burn in fires or they do burn but they don't burn down but the trees are still dead. It's weird. It's just really weird. It's just a weird situation, but you know.
Starting point is 00:06:54 What's the latest? So who are they saying, do they know who did this? I love that smirk, Sam, I love it. Well, it just, it seems that, here's the whole thing, dude. I'm sorry, but Gavin Newsom and Justin Trudeau are the exact same guy The exact same guy. Yeah, they they they operate the exact same way their looks are Intoxicating to a lot of people they got nice angles, right? They got symmetrical faces women the gays the women in gays love him, and that's a giant voting block.
Starting point is 00:07:27 That's half of LA. Right? That is half of LA. Half of LA is gay or woman, okay? And some of them are trans women who are gay women men, so... Has Gavin done blackface? No. No. Not that he's told us. Not that he's told us. Not that he has fucked his best friend's wife and had to apologize for that.
Starting point is 00:07:49 Which is like into this humiliation ritual that they seem to have to go through. And if you study like Gavin Newsom's earlier years, he 100% would just get his dick kicked in by the press constantly, but yet still get voted up It was like the weirdest thing like this guy failed up everywhere. Yeah Yeah, we were just talking about this actually just how it's spectacularly that guy has failed up there is so everywhere he goes It is he leaves it worse than before he was there and yet still he he felt this is why I'm still convinced He probably will be president someday of the United States I don't know he thinks he can be president. Oh, I mean, did you guys see when he was on the phone with the president?
Starting point is 00:08:35 supposedly This this crazy woman who is like and there's no more dangerous, dangerous animal than a cougar with a mask on. She does not play by any rules or reality, runs right up on you. Can I please talk to the president? He's like, I'm on the phone with her. Please can I see him? She is like I
Starting point is 00:09:08 Can't I I can't get I can't get out of line. I guess Yeah, the best so we're like that's a leader. Look at that She's broke and heels running a governor Gavin Newsom in the charred ruins of her Pacific Palisades neighborhood demanding answers as charred ruins of her pacific palisades neighborhood demanding answers as wildfires continue to devastate the city governor that was my daughter's school shouted Rachel Durvish as she chased Newsome questioning the left fire hydrants governor yeah can we hear it I'm doing hey these kind of videos they're the worst they're the worst okay well we we well for sure know he wasn't on the phone with the president right that was all He's like I'm trying to call him but the towers burned down
Starting point is 00:09:58 Sorry, we can't reach the president right now Theoretically I'm talking Through my brain ship Yeah, exactly through the global is brain chip. We all got I Mean, we're all connected in a mind map. It's it's just nuts to me. It's just nuts to me That you know, he almost gets recalled and he course LA rallies around him Stops to recall. I mean they recall them, but he doesn't get Survived if we have another are you sure Johnny? Do you have any faith in anything happen to any of these people? Okay, how much time does he have left if we did if you didn't get a recall?
Starting point is 00:10:39 I mean, I think he's got like a thousand years to go demons live forever Let's say it's neighborhood demanding answers This guy's got this guy's everywhere he's crushing it He just takes everyone's content and gets around using, he gets around the like, what is it called? Well, the copyright. Copyright by just repeating what they say and showing the video. Yeah, it's like- It's pretty savvy.
Starting point is 00:11:16 Have you seen that deaf girl on Instagram who does lip reading? Yeah. Oh, it's brilliant. Oh yeah. It's brilliant. She speaks really well for someone who's never heard anyone speak. Yeah, she's really suspicious. Right? It's very suspicious.
Starting point is 00:11:27 She's like, I'm a deaf person. I can't hear. And usually usually a deaf sound like Charlie Brown's mom. You're like you're a spy. Just admit it. This is the last thing I want to say. She's the Stevie Wonder of YouTube. Yeah, Stevie Wonder who goes to NBA games.
Starting point is 00:11:47 Makes them sick. And she's close. Oh, here we go. You can't live here, Governor. That was my daughter's school, Governor. Please tell me what you're going to do. I'm not going to hurt her. I promise.
Starting point is 00:11:57 I'm literally talking to the president right now. They can answer the question of what we can do for you and your daughter. Can I hear it? Can I hear your call? Oh, it's so funny. How can you leave it? This is like a sketch. There's literally, I've tried five times.
Starting point is 00:12:11 Why is the president not taking your call? Because it's not going through. Why? God, this is so funny. Let's get it. Let's get it. I want to be here when you call the president. Oh. This feels like a setup actually. Yes it does.
Starting point is 00:12:24 Now that I've seen it again It's like a sketch I'm so sorry, especially for your daughter. I have four kids Losing the school one who went to school there. They lost their homes They lost two homes because they were living in one building another Relatable We lost multiple homes! Why is there no water in the hydrants governor? It's all literally... Is it going to be different next time?
Starting point is 00:12:54 It has to be. She sounds like she's acting. This is so strange. And this is porn acting bad. I would fill up the hydrants myself. But would you do that? I would do up the hydrants myself. I would, I understand. But would you do that? I would do whatever I can. But you're not.
Starting point is 00:13:08 I see the, do you know there's water dripping over there, governor? There's water coming out there. You can use it. I appreciate it. I'm gonna just make the call to address everything I can. I love that the car's already moving without him. Thanks.
Starting point is 00:13:21 Can I have an opportunity to just tell people how you're doing, what you're saying you're doing? Thank you. But can we just say that guy, nobody relates worse to the common man than Gavin Newsom. Like remember when he was downtown and the people accosted him, like homeless people and stuff, and he was just like, ah, short circuiting.
Starting point is 00:13:37 It's like a Fembot, you know, it's so funny. But she's not even the common man. She's like one of his people. What do you think that is? Was it something that they tried to set up that she just wasn't playing it quite right? That does feel like it. Now that I've seen it again,
Starting point is 00:13:51 because I saw it before, but now that I've seen it, I'm like, oh, they totally set this up to make it look like someone was speaking truth to power to Gavin so that he could be like, I'm on the phone with the president, I'm working for you. It feels, I didn't realize how bad that was. She screwed up by asking him, like, oh, can I hear it then?
Starting point is 00:14:09 Because that's where she, if she was doing that, that was a mistake. Because where's the security? I mean, he, I mean, was there, I mean, I heard someone say, I'm not, she said, I'm not gonna hurt him, but either way you stop her from getting near him, that's the governor, like, hey bitch. Imagine if they shot her to death.
Starting point is 00:14:24 I'd make it even worse And it turned out the Secret Service person was a transsexual White lady privilege we can just walk up to anyone do whatever we want. They've lost one two three homes I've lost four vacation homes in this one neighborhood. I mean, it's so hard. I mean like Obviously it is so beyond tragic It's so beyond tragic and you know, it's like Rick Caruso. It's so funny Talk about a guy having the last laugh. I mean losing one home is bad imagining losing two Rick Caruso basically created this
Starting point is 00:15:08 town and he has a private fire department. It's like the Getty. They had their own fire prevention stuff. Of course. It's totally fine. It should by all rights to burn to the ground. Here's the thing guys. They know what the rest, the reason I left in 2020, my husband and I looked at each other during the riot slash protests and everybody and I was like, no one's coming.
Starting point is 00:15:36 Like they know this. These are smart men and smart people with the resources to actually protect themselves when the inevitable happens and no one is coming. And it's so super sad that we have this. But real quick, we're all live from the Wise Wolf Gold and Silver Studios. Go to Sam Tripley and Doc Gold. Grab a press of smells for as little as $50 a month, send them right to your house.
Starting point is 00:16:02 Gonna be in Batavia at the end of the month on the 23rd through the 25th. Gonna be in Columbus, Ohio again. If you want to come see Tim Full Hat Comedy Night at the Funny Bones, you gotta grab your tickets online early because they'll cancel the show. They're like if we don't like the numbers we can't show even though we have tons of walk-ups. We can't show, even though we have tons of walk-ups. Pottstown, P.A. on the seventh. Morristown at the Dojo of Comedy on the 28th, on the February 8th. And then finally, Phoenix, Arizona at the end of the month.
Starting point is 00:16:33 We're very excited to have this guest on. She's got a great show called Dumpster Fire. Please hold it. Bridget, fantasy. Did I get it right? Did I get it right? Got it, right? I was like that was the hardest part of that whole show you stumbled through it I did because I get very panicky Bridget for those who may not be familiar with you can tell us
Starting point is 00:16:56 Where they can find you any websites Twitter? Yeah tubes or anything go to? Bridget Fetasy on social and go to Phetasy, I think it is, at Phetasy. Or no, it's just Phetasy. Sorry, I don't even know my websites. Go to my YouTube at Phetasy. I have another podcast at more Bridget Phetasy on YouTube as well. And just Phetasy.com will lead you everywhere. P-H-E-T-A-S-Y.
Starting point is 00:17:23 Thank you guys for having me. No, I'mcom will lead you everywhere. P-H-E-T-A-S-Y. Thank you guys for having me. No, I'm excited to have you on. I always love watching your content. You pop up. Now, I saw on Twitter, you said you're gonna do a Twitter specific show, or are you just gonna take yourself and put it on Twitter?
Starting point is 00:17:40 No, I mean, it's just how this game is, especially people in our space where you've been like outrunning the algorithms and the the silencing and all of the things. So you're like, should we go to rumble? I don't know. Should we go to here? You're just like, uh, moving around. So I was just wondering if people would watch the content, if we put it on X, now that you can do kind of long form video more easily there. And we just ultimately decided to put, I have two podcasts,
Starting point is 00:18:13 I have Dumpster Fire, which is my satirical new show, and then Walk-Ins Welcome, which is more of just a conversation with a guest or two that I have. And so we're just gonna put it all on X because why not? People, I realize that every one of these socials people don't wanna leave like their neighborhood.
Starting point is 00:18:35 Whether it's YouTube or X or Instagram or whatever, people kind of generally stay on one and they'll venture out but everyone has it seems like they're a little home Home-based. Hey guys real quick. I want to tell you about our boy James McMahon and copy my Crypto listen guys has it pissed you off to watch crypto fly up in prices for a decade And you still have done nothing about it. It makes sense Cryptos complicated and really boring. Well here's the good news. You don't need to know a thing about crypto to make
Starting point is 00:19:10 money like so many have. The CopyMyCrypto.com membership site shows you the exact cryptos that YouTuber James McMahon personally owns which means you just got copy him. It's like having a big brother who knows what he's doing. You don't need to know a thing about crypto or how to invest. Just simply copy along. Okay, so let me tell you a little bit about James. He runs the Crypto with James YouTube channel, which has over 54,000 subscribers. In the summer of 2020, he told his viewers to buy 26 cryptos. Had you put a hundred bucks into each,
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Starting point is 00:25:15 Well, you can see too what network they kind of came up through based on their content. These TikTokkers are very short form because TikTok you know, because I mean, TikTok demands that and Twitter, I wonder if that's why maybe you see people who don't cross over well, you know what I mean? Unless they have real talent because that short form thing doesn't work as well on like YouTube. You know, they've tried to put shorts out, but you can't, you can't really make it. You have to have like a 10 minute video to really monetize on YouTube for them to show it around It's so crazy because Twitter had Vine forever and like they should have brought some of the worst celebrities we've ever gotten were from Vine was awesome. Yeah, it was yeah, but what was it seven seconds or eight seconds? Seven like that. Yeah, they should bring it. You know, it's teased that before bringing it back and and I mean they own the property
Starting point is 00:26:03 They should bring it back. So now would be the moment. Yeah, absolutely. Why not? Who's buying tick tick tock? I someone's got to buy it. I don't think they're gonna let it go. It's not. Well, you mean like an American would buy it and they're talking about working with Elon, which would be like, yeah, which he would dominate. Would he even care about Twitter anymore if he got the run tick tock? It's curious. I mean, that seems like a pretty easy way for China to keep doing what it's doing though. Yeah, truly. And what do you think that they're doing that, that everyone is so upset about
Starting point is 00:26:36 compared to every other social media? Well, they did. There has been a lot of evidence that they do things to American children and show things to American children and manipulate the minds of American children in ways that they would never do to their Chinese kids. Yeah, again, I've talked about this on the show before, like this notion that the Chinese are like so beyond us. It's hilarious to me because they just steal all of our shit.
Starting point is 00:27:07 What what are we like, hey dude, let's go to China and steal some really creative ideas. It never happened. What about the Chinese drones? About them having it? Because that was a thing that the drones in New Jersey that disappeared after the fires, I guess they got burned down with the fire. Yeah, nobody's talking about that about yeah yeah whatever happened to those drones by the way I don't think they're Chinese drones because none of them are crashing into each other you think Asians can't drive what can their drones do but Trump was actually saying that he was gonna tell us about the drones like in the first week of his presidency wasn't he I feel like I heard him I thought I I read that somewhere.
Starting point is 00:27:46 I could be wrong. Do it. Might have to fact check me. Trump is gonna be like NASCAR, where like the first day is the biggest event of the whole year. Just like he did with JFK files, right? All he's saying is like, I'm gonna get rid of this,
Starting point is 00:27:58 I'm gonna release all the January 6th people, I'm gonna tell you about the drones, release aliens, tell you about the side kill, Jeff, everybody, then the rest of the things are gonna be like so boring. Do you think he's gonna do that stuff? No, I don't think, I think he's gonna do some stuff. Like we said in the last show, that motherfucker gets rid of the fed and the IRS.
Starting point is 00:28:17 Dude, I'm telling you, I will get MAGA tattooed on my forehead if he gets really IRS by it. I have my, it's very thin because I don't know why it's fading, it's just crappy, but it's my defund the IRS. I'm so with you on that. Which is so hilarious going back to defunding, I've seen about this today.
Starting point is 00:28:35 Like the people that wanted to defund the cops, they didn't get that, they just got defunded the fire department and it just burned down their entire house neighbor. And like Johnny and I were talking about on the last show there's this movement to legal decriminate prostitution sex work and By the way, if you tax snatch, you're gonna be able to fund everything by the way
Starting point is 00:29:00 If you tax it, there'll be so much Johnny Johnny and I'm not saying this adversarially, but you are, and I am like this as well, you are anti-regulations, right? At heart, yeah, I'm a libertarian at heart. But do you have a problem with what has happened with this fire department stuff, if you're talking about them trying to lower budgets and all that
Starting point is 00:29:26 I mean that's comparing. I mean, that's completely You're talking about an established bureaucracy having a smaller budget. That's completely Unrelated entirely to to what a private system would look like. Uh, no, I mean that's completely unrelated It's taking taking something that is an established bureaucracy and just decreasing its budget means it won't work as well. That's what that means. This thing that already didn't work well will work less well with a smaller budget. You're talking about what I ideally would be a ground-up overhaul of the entire system. Which would, yeah, I mean that's completely different. I mean you tell me these people in the power states would have had the best fire department on the fucking planet if
Starting point is 00:30:04 it was based, if it was a private system like that. These are some of the wealthiest people in the power states would have had the best fire department on the fucking planet If it was based if it was a private system like that These are some of the wealthiest people in the world They would have the best none of this would have happened if it was that case now you can talk about the other fires Maybe something may be different, but no no no that's unrelated Well your thoughts Bridget About the private fires Private fires. Private fire departments?
Starting point is 00:30:27 About, I don't know where you stand because you put the defund the IRS, which I love, but where do you stand on big government, small government? Oh God, I mean California's such a good example. I just interviewed this guy actually today, Jared Klickstein. I think I'm saying that right. I always, he- Yeah, we love him, yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:52 He's awesome. Okay. He's my good friend. Okay, so you know him. So he talks all about how this is such an example of like big government failing, constantly failing the people. I think California is a great sample size
Starting point is 00:31:06 of the government being too big and useless. And all that money ends up going to cronies, like so much corruption, they operate like gangsters, there's no accountability, nobody suffers any consequences, politicians fail up, everything bad is incentivized, There's no accountability. Nobody suffers any consequences. Politicians fail up. Everything bad is incentivized. There's no...
Starting point is 00:31:32 I could go on and on. I think living in California made me much more small government, local government. The tax money... I was like, where is all this money going? The roads are shit. Our schools are shit Everything is shit and we had the highest taxes in California of you know basically anywhere other than maybe New York and
Starting point is 00:31:55 parts of DC I I don't What I've become very yeah dollars. What do we get? What? Yeah, what do you get? We get a fire department What do we get? What? Yeah, what do you get? We get a fire department? What do we get? Jared was talking about how they're you know groups of NGOs that are kind of funded by the government now Because I asked him what he would do to try and fix this kind of big homelessness mental illness drug addiction complex that that exists in the NGOs.
Starting point is 00:32:26 And there are people who get paid $30 an hour to hand out tin foil in San Francisco. It's so easy to just steal millions of dollars from the government. But it's all people back dealings. How many members of the LA City Council have been called out or or lost their seat for corruption at this point? You know, you bring up a really good point. And maybe we should have term limits on federal jobs. Be like, if we don't see this, this, this by this time, you're fired. Because you're not, you're incentivizing people not to fix the problem.
Starting point is 00:33:08 If you're like, I can have this, like the war on drugs, you know who doesn't want to win the war on drugs? Law enforcement, because their budget goes down. And I have a cousin who's a cop, and they're trying. I'm not saying cops aren't good people, but. Just like any other people, they're prone to corruption, but there are plenty of good ones, yeah. Anybody though, who's given power and money is gonna,
Starting point is 00:33:28 yeah, they're gonna. But this is also kind of the other side of this, and this is just me trying to make sense of this stuff in my own mind. We talked about the sober livings, which are private, and pretty much unregulated, and we lived across the street from one in Los Angeles when we were there. And it was just people literally dying.
Starting point is 00:33:51 And I and every day there was an ambulance there. So they become these kind of drug dens. But because there are no incentives are so bad. And then I think it's I don't know. I also feel the same way about private prisons. Like you kind of need this steady stream of prisoners to keep the prisons open. I mean, did one of you have a... Well, where are they getting their money from though? The halfway houses, most of those
Starting point is 00:34:19 are people that are there in lieu of jail. Insurance. Yeah, and insurance. yes, of course. But when you're talking about private prisons, I mean, those are just all in the government dime. I mean, those are all funded by the government. Well, you know, there's famous stories about like private prisons complaining to the county,
Starting point is 00:34:40 hey man, we don't have occupancy enough. Crank it up. Hey man, we don't have occupancy enough. Crank it up. And then, you know, John Oliver, for as much garbage as he became, like there was a time he was doing good work, you know, and he was talking about how, like, these privatized prisons to get like investors
Starting point is 00:34:59 to invest in them, almost like shares, they brag about they have a they they have a revisit I don't know what the word it is a reincarcinate reincarcination said that word wrong um rate of like 75 to 80 percent meaning that people go in there there's an 80 80 percent chance they're coming back but there's this video there's got a build some guy out and the guy was mad he got bailed out because it was the winter and he wanted to be in there because he's homeless.
Starting point is 00:35:28 Oh yeah, it's a YouTube thing now. They bail out people. And the guy was all mad. He's like, yeah, it's going to be cold. I don't know where to go now. And I don't know how real it was, but I was like, I'm sure there's some people that do it. Like, yo, it's my time to go in.
Starting point is 00:35:39 Like right now I want to sober up. I'm literally down. Like, I don't fucking know. Recidivism. Well, that's the only place they can get sober because they don't have the, when, this is another thing that came up with Jared where they made this bill where that basically,
Starting point is 00:35:54 in order to get the federal funding for the housing, they had to get rid of the requirement to be sober. This was a Gavin Newsome thing. Oh my God. It's SB 130, I can't remember the bill. So he pushed this through, so it made it so essentially you could just have housing with no consequence.
Starting point is 00:36:22 And it made all of these, especially during, I think, COVID, it made it so that all of these hotels like have people ODing in them when they put people who are homeless and drug addicted. Now they're just alone doing drugs in a house that's funded by the state. Yeah, and you have I mean, we have the VA down here has a place for homeless veterans that sits empty while there is a tent city in front of it because those people refuse the drug test. Right.
Starting point is 00:36:52 They live out front and do their drugs and then go get the services that are offered there. But there's plenty of housing because the restrictions are, you know, most people won't agree to those, you know, because say what you want to homeless people, they don't like living under restrictions, you know what I say what you would with homeless people, they don't like living under restrictions, you know what I mean? And they're drug-addicted. Yeah, they like living outside.
Starting point is 00:37:08 Yeah. Well, they don't wanna give up their weapons and they don't wanna give up their drugs and they don't wanna, you know, have to go be sober. Do you think this changes LA anyway? I mean, obviously the homeless problem's gonna get worse because less people with homes, but do you think anything's gonna change?
Starting point is 00:37:24 I mean, most of these people aren't gonna be less people were homes, but do you think anything? People lost their house, you know Thoughts go out to them. They're not becoming homeless. You're like like I went from the Pacific Palisades to blowing dudes behind dumpsters So you think it'll change anything in LA like you think anything other than them filling up the wells probably? Yeah, we talked about the last episode, right? I think that the people who were directly affected, like lost their homes and maybe the families of those people might vote differently. It's the Adam Carolla thing when they realize it's going to take them three years before
Starting point is 00:37:56 the first stone is laid on reconstruction. Under the best of times, this bureaucracy makes it difficult for somebody to build something here. With the burden that's going to be thousands of new homes being built at the same time. It's going to be a nightmare. Ten thousand. Nightmare. Nightmare.
Starting point is 00:38:13 So yeah, those people, I could see them voting differently. Is that enough? No, it won't be enough. Do you think we're going to let the Mexicans stay a little longer so we need to build? I mean, who's going to build? I mean, we're really going to kick them out while we need to build that's a good I mean who's gonna build? Yeah, I mean, I mean really gonna kick him out while we need them That'd be great jobs for Americans why not I mean Basically like America thrives when you have to like build shit whether it's sadly about war or like everything gets destroyed
Starting point is 00:38:41 Yeah, you just saying like turn it into a jobs program kind of is that yeah, why're saying? Yeah, why not? I mean do you have any faith in Gavin Newsom doing any of that? No. The thing I think should change that I find messed up because I got a bunch of homies that are felons, they're telling me that after they're done participating, yeah, that after they're done participating, helping with the fires, they're not allowed to become firemen. That should fucking change. They shouldn't be allowed to be firemen while they're... Wait, felons aren not allowed to become firemen that should fucking change they shouldn't be allowed to be firemen while they're allowed to be firemen oh no they're allowed to put now in the fire during it going on while they're incarcerated but the second they come out they're not
Starting point is 00:39:13 allowed to be fired to participate what do you mean so I was like well on brigades yeah you don't know you didn't know that yes people are good this is why I hated Kamala like she people who don't know about this It's shocking to me how many people don't know how many incarcerated people fight fires in California and there was a huge scandal with Kamala around this because she was she was Extending their stays so that she could kind of use the population to fight fires. If I'm not mistaken, there was a scandal. You're totally right. She argued in court that we shouldn't be letting people
Starting point is 00:39:50 out early because it hurts the workforce. What do they do? What are they allowed to do? Like firemen? Like be firemen? Yeah. Yeah, they're firemen. It's very low.
Starting point is 00:39:59 It's like, obviously you're not getting serial killers out there. You're just getting people with drug deals and then you lower their sentence and they get paid for it But they're literally endangering their lives and then the second they come out you assume. Oh, you know some firework. Why don't you become a fireman? Oh, yeah, finally, you're not allowed to do that. That's great. That makes no fucking sense. Like give them a chance So you already they already risked their lives as it is Yeah, it's bullshit. That should be gone. It's bullshit that they even they I don't think they pay
Starting point is 00:40:26 I think they get we're getting like 80 cents at some point. I don't know what they get now. It's is Yeah, I don't think they're doing the like strategic planning of the firefighting. I think it's a lot of Like, you know, they have to like build the ditches and all the like drug What is it called like the I don't know anything about this the the the line they securing what now no they use them for like to stop the line like she said they're not really out there with the with the hoses it's just make a hole right here yeah yeah that's it yeah everyone's all kind of chain gangs yeah Yeah, that's the sound of the chain working on the chain
Starting point is 00:41:09 What if we get dinged cuz that was so good and they're like that sounds too much like the original You guys must get dinged all the time Well, we don't even we don't put this out on YouTube, a fan does, and we let him put it out. I will say what your regular channel has been doing better on you. My fingers are crossed as tightly as they could be that it lasts. I mean, the blessings, I've done a bunch of big shows, so I'm sure I'm getting some people off that. Before, like you would see in subscribers, even when you, we've had you go on Rogan a
Starting point is 00:41:43 few times. Right. Since you had a YouTube Channel, yeah, never got a hit like my favorite thing is like going on Rogan and then getting 300 new followers on Instagram yeah, so hey at least it's a Little more reflective of the yeah, so what's your take on this mark Zuckerberg stuff? Libertarian markss. Yeah, podcast bro Mark. Yeah. Bro, look, I got highlights, dog.
Starting point is 00:42:13 One of us. He just starts doing jujitsu and eating meat and getting some testosterone and now he's suddenly like base. By the way, we should have left base in 2024. I agree. Let's do it, let's leave it there. That guy has no personality, by the way. Listening to him try to talk for three hours on Rogan
Starting point is 00:42:34 was so uncomfortable. Have you tried Lex and him in a podcast? Aw, that's so hilarious. It would be like paint drying versus interviewing cement drying. You're like like is this a Turing test? My next guest joins us from meta Lex is so like person in person. He's so Like that's why I don't know. He's very funny and just like
Starting point is 00:43:02 personable and He's very funny and just like personable and Not it's very weird. It's like it. I expected him to be more robotic in person than he is and he's not at all What do you think it is? He just like this is my this is my Sounds like it's a gimmick like he or he thinks that that's what a professional sound You know, I mean like cuz he's wearing the suit, you know, I mean, he's kind of well There is something to that like me yelling all the time probably doesn't help the show. I'm always yelling on dumpster fire just constantly. It's like just basically malice. My rejoking
Starting point is 00:43:37 that if you watch dumpster fire from beginning to like, if you watched it from beginning to now, it just be a woman descending into madness online. What I find so interesting about Zuck is like, I would believe Zuck if we had that moment, I don't know if you guys remember when like, Elon Musk like, all the censorship off, and it just became this beautiful like kind of like Armageddon of shit posting that was like the most like everyone was like
Starting point is 00:44:17 you know it was like the greatest feeling ever celebration yeah it was just like we haven't seen that on Instagram. Must be nice. You never will. I don't think we'll ever do it. Like they have their finger on the pulse of everything. Like, and it's like different rules for different fools. And that's my biggest problem. He's so much bigger than X too. Like fate, the meta is fucking massive. That place is, too like fate oh yeah meta is fucking massive that place is how many billions of people are on that I don't think X even has 500 million does it on Rogan in a week like three plus billion people interact with something that meta oh think about that percentage wise of the planet cuz you're right almost half the planet or something it's crazy I think it would be half the planet or something? It's crazy. No, it's because they also own this thing, this app called What's Up.
Starting point is 00:45:08 What's Up. In Latin America, they don't fucking text. Everything else is only that. My family was telling me this and I was like, I've been trying to get a hold of you. I'm like, how? Where? What? Oh, you don't use What's Up? No, it's for fucking Mexicans. I use What's Up. I use it too. You use it? I use what's up? No, it's for fucking Mexicans. No every You use it I use I have some what's up I only use it to talk to people overseas that's it yeah Yeah, buddy Justin. He's been on the show years ago He was on the show and he just loves to get up and move and they realized he hates it so Like move yeah, just like countries. countries yeah well he he's like he's
Starting point is 00:45:46 got this hot Brazilian girlfriend that he met and I like and I love them but he just like he just gets these wild ideas and he's like dude we're gonna move to Brazil I go why goes cuz I just can't take this country and I just go you're moving to a place that That's worse. I Know you like their asses. They got hot asses down there but like their government's completely corrupt and they're overthrown all the time and He's already like we're moving back. He's been there three weeks He's like you can't open a bank account without regulations. You can't do anything go down to Argentina
Starting point is 00:46:26 That's where I'd like to try it out Haircut he's crushing it. He's good. They're crushing it. Yeah, they're crushing it Hey guys, we're going to tell you about our good friends at mint mobile listen 2025 is here and mint mobile has a has a resolution for you. Skip the gym. Skip the fad diets resolution for you. Skip the gym, skip the fad diets, skip the PS resolutions, you'll forget about them by next month. Instead, make a resolution to make more serious cash by making the switch to Mint Mobile. Okay and right now you can get half off their three month unlimited plan. Listen guys I'm gonna tell you something you know Mint Mobile service is second to none. Okay?
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Starting point is 00:48:18 the plan shipped to your door for free go to mintmobile.com slash tinfoil that is mintmobile.com slash tinfo that is mintmobile.com slash tin foil okay 45 upfront payment acquired that's equivalent to 15 a month new customers on first three month plan only speed slower above 40 gigabytes unlimited plan additional taxes fees and restrictions apply see mintmobile for details thank you mintmobile for sponsoring the show it's funny though i was asking my so the owner of cafe vita um is argentinian. I was asking him his thoughts on Cafe Vida, which burned down in the Palisades. I was asking him about his thoughts and he was like, it's still 50. A lot of the problems already existed.
Starting point is 00:48:57 Malay inherited a shit show, but he was saying that it's still 50% poverty. It's still not great in argentina Uh, the only thing I would say about that is I do think that would take time Yeah to flip but I mean and you just again this gets into what are real facts. What is just bullshit? Like You know I mean like what what is he like we're getting told you know one hand he's like he got rid of their centralized bank he got rid of their IRS but on the other hand he's like yeah he just took all the gold and sent it
Starting point is 00:49:33 somewhere nobody knows where it is what all the gold yeah just sent it somewhere head doesn't tell anybody where he put it like what are we doing here so I don't know if he's a good guy or a bad guy Who can know? Yeah, I think anybody at that level you gotta have some questions, right? He loves chainsaws What's that mean? Just every time you see him he's like chainsawing something down there. He's like taking out a statue He's cutting up all the taxes He's cutting up a book on all the taxes. He just loves it, dude. He's like the Gallagher of Clickl. He's got props.
Starting point is 00:50:11 He's a character, for sure. I love it. He is a character. Yeah, Elon's got his blowtorches. He's got his chainsaw. We're getting like a regular old. But yeah, Zuckerberg, right? So do you think this, so it seems like he was inspired,
Starting point is 00:50:24 or I think really they realized how much more people preferred Community notes style moderation than what they do. It seems like they're gonna move to that now What do you think that will matter at all? It's probably also way cheaper like let's outsource this to the idiots who spend all day on our app and Content moderators totally that's such a good point. But again, he's like, we're getting rid of the fact checkers, okay. That's great, but are you still shadow banning people,
Starting point is 00:50:54 you motherfucker? That's a totally different thing. Like, what are the levels? What are the levers of censorship? Like, why can I watch some people say the most freaky shit on Instagram and they got a billion likes? Like, I was an idiot when I got my, I paid three grand to get my Instagram back, right?
Starting point is 00:51:17 And like, like an idiot, I just press these motherfuckers. I go, okay, let's try censorship. So I would find the most offensive video I could find, put out by the, it was the video by the people made it, meaning like it wasn't somebody else's video. It was like, if it was a crazy like Asian guy going, oh, me Asian, not singing a song about it, I would do a reaction video where I just point to it
Starting point is 00:51:41 and see how many views I get. And it just exploded and then they realized it was me and they're like, no, no, they went like angry baby. No. And they just locked me down. And now I like, I was getting 5 million views. Why did you have to pay $3,000 to get your Instagram back? Because they had made a deal. There were two people involved. There was a guy brokering the deal, and somebody at Instagram, Facebook, was taking money to get back people's shit.
Starting point is 00:52:13 It's totally illegal, yeah, for sure. Yeah, but I mean, for anyone thinking that's fucking crazy, it's hard to get your Instagram following that Sam has. And Sam obviously posted something, sells tickets like that. So anybody who's saying like that. Well, I can't right now, because they won't let me advertise.
Starting point is 00:52:25 But the point is, like everyone could do it until that fucking Asian porn star went on and said she banged everybody at fucking Metta to get back her Instagram. Oh yeah, on that show where everybody just talks. Yeah, Jumper. Yeah, no Jumper. Jumper 22, whatever that retards name is. What? What are you talking about? I feel like I'm a hundred years old right now. It's this new style of show
Starting point is 00:52:49 Have you seen it where it's just a bunch of kind of young fuck boys and fuck girls around the table and they just all Talk about fuck. No, it's not and they're all like porn stars. No, no, it's Adam 22 It's the same style. It's the same style of shows. I'm saying this is John Ruff show now I don't know what to call it. Were they just interviewing porn stars and they're like, I got a sign, I got a sign, I got a sign. Yeah, so this porn star goes on there and she talks about how her Instagram got deleted for doing crazy shit, but she's like, well then I just had to figure out someone that worked at Facebook, blew him, and my Instagram came back.
Starting point is 00:53:20 And then after she did that, the whole services- They shut it down. Yeah, the services Sam used were shut down. down by the way if anybody could find someone for me to blow at X to get my Twitter account back hey what happened to that I know you guys probably talked about it but isn't it supposed to be super you're fucking say whatever you want and it is not apparently I not what's going what happened I just lost it I got suspended from X for something I think I got a there I was I think a bunch of bots were coming at me it might be real people I doubt it though and I
Starting point is 00:53:50 was just arguing about the fires but in like a good-hearted way and then yeah I don't know I'm I'm told now after having talked to people that it seems like they bought likes on a tweet of mine and then started commenting on it and maybe reported it or something. I don't know But yeah, I got I got uh, I got attacked you were so close to being monetized too Yeah, yeah, I have like I was really I had a couple of tweets go viral over the past few months And uh, wait, that's fucking weird. This is like the whole adrian dipman thing. Did you guys follow this at all? No, I don't know who that is adrian dipman is allegedly the, like, Elon's alt that comments on his own post.
Starting point is 00:54:31 Yes, sounds just like him. Yeah, yeah, I've seen this. So it sounds just like him. Sorry, there's a little bit of a delay going on. What were you saying? But that dude's real. Right, so this is the thing. I write a column at spectator They one of the journalists at spectator did she actually started doing some journalism got a tip Went and looked into this all of this information is publicly available about Adrienne Dittman She found who she thinks the real Adrienne Dittman is did a piece about it posted it
Starting point is 00:55:05 thinks the real Adrienne Dittman is, did a piece about it, posted it, Elon commented on it and said, like, the time has come for I'm the real Adrienne Dittman, the world must know, banned her for 30 days. She's still in Twitter jail as we speak and then made the post. They did the same thing to that Spectator article that happened with the New York Post where you couldn't Share it within the app or even post it on the app I am shocked this didn't get more attention, but everyone's so terrified of Elon that nobody wants to like cross the king of the world and Then they ended up Unbanning the post because they tried to say she doxed him but all of this was publicly
Starting point is 00:55:45 unbanning the post because they tried to say she doxed him, but all of this was publicly available information. She didn't dox him. Like doxing is giving their address and phone number or whatever. What was her conclusion? I'm sorry. I missed that. What was her conclusion about Ditman? That it was this guy in like Fiji or somewhere. Oh, so it was a different guy. Okay. Yeah. That he's a real person. That's so bizarre. Why would you? And then he, it's fucking weird, dude. And then, so they unblocked the article so you can now share it, which kind of disproves
Starting point is 00:56:13 their whole, oh, this was doxing theory and she's still in Twitter jail and can't post. Well, I'm worried that it's, that system may may now because we know that when he took over X, I mean, he just slashed and burned, you know, the staff and the whole. I worried now that most of that's automated and there are very few people who are actually involved in the process. And for you to get a hearing, a fair hearing is going to be quite difficult. So there's this woman that was appointed by Biden and we've talked about her on a show where she made it so you have to if you're canceling a
Starting point is 00:56:53 membership like at a gym the gym must allow you just to press a button and it cancels. She made that law. Yeah. I'm like I love. Okay? I hope to God she somehow gets into a position of power where she says you have to have somebody for them to talk to. Especially if I'm, you know, people give me shit because I have a blue check mark on Twitter. It's not because I want to be verified. It's because I'm a retard and my grammar sucks. So I need to be able to fix my tweets. Also we're professionals whose livelihoods depend on reach
Starting point is 00:57:30 and you get more reach when you pay that eight bucks a month. You just do. Yeah. But also if you're giving, if you are in a relationship with the company and that there should be some way, like my husband and I were talking about this recently because we were trying to cancel our cable
Starting point is 00:57:48 because our fricking cable box never works. And yes, we still had cable. And you couldn't go into the store and make any changes to your account. You could go drop off the hardware, but you couldn't. I'm like, this is fucking bananas. You should be able to like make a change to your account in the fucking store that is the storefront for this company, but you can't.
Starting point is 00:58:18 But the reverse of that is like the like you're saying, it is a good point. If you are giving them your your like information and your drivers license, in some instances, shouldn't you be able to get on the phone with somebody if like there's something wrong with your billing or there's something wrong with their payout to you or you're you know, kicked off? I don't know. That is that is a good point. You should you should be there should be some recourse. It seems like a consumer protections thing.
Starting point is 00:58:45 X used to have DM support, and now if you DM at support on X, it just says, well, hey, this doesn't, it's not a thing anymore. It just says, go fuck yourself. If you want support, get premium. And then you get premium, right? I did that for the Broken Sim account
Starting point is 00:59:00 to try to talk to somebody about this. And I messaged at premium now, it's a new account they created. It wait 24 hours you'll hear back from somebody and then they just told me that yeah you you might hear from somebody about your suspension eventually are you just gonna make a new one Johnny are you gonna I think I'll get it back it's just I I mean I I cuz I know I didn't do anything wrong, you know Yeah, when did I do anything wrong and I got suspended well, yeah that was under the old regime though So yeah, you did that. So Johnny is the one who who? Figured out how so I I bought tickets to World Series game when the Dodgers it was it was like the fourth inning
Starting point is 00:59:43 Or fifth inning Dodgers are down five. I'm like, we're coming back game six. I'm gonna buy tickets to bring my dad because I always wanted to take my dad to a World Series. It's always been a dream of mine. So as soon as I buy the tickets, Dodgers come back, score like six, win the game. So I had tickets for all of three innings.
Starting point is 01:00:04 They're like, you'll get an email telling you how to get your money back or the equivalent of in credit. I'm like, I'll get my money back. I don't want three grand and ticket equivalents. Go fuck yourself. Right? So I keep waiting. I keep waiting. I keep waiting. I keep waiting. Never comes. Seat geek we're talking about, right? We're talking about Seat geek. Never comes geek never comes never get the email John I'm talking to Johnny in the last broken sim he's like you should DM them on Twitter I go really sure she I DM them bang within five minutes you have your money in two weeks dude they they respond on Twitter bro if you have a following I got so much stuff done by DMing brands on Twitter just where we have problems so one thing they care about it's like the other the only other thing you can do is make a complaint with the Better Business Bureau for some reason I've gotten money back from Ticketmaster when they try to screw me on that that's the only those are the
Starting point is 01:00:56 only two thing if you're at home and you have some kind of grudge going on with a company that I really owe you money DM on Twitter if you have a following or the Better Business Bureau. say there was this comic I don't remember what comic was but he rented a car out. He gots the car He there ends up being a coke sack in like somewhere in the car Yeah, he posted it on on Twitter and then he gets like they hit him up and they don't like a like a week's worth of Like car stuff, but I'm like, yeah If you act you have a following you want to like really go about it and you really got done dirty.
Starting point is 01:01:26 Cause that's a big deal. Imagine you rent the car out, your kid ends up finding the sack. That's crazy. Yeah. Yeah. So he literally went about it and he got hooked up for it. So yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:36 Or just pretend to put Coke in your car and get that way. That's yeah. Or just, it's already yours. Look what I found. Imagine still doing Coke today, 2025, when you know there's fentanyl out there. Unbelievable to me. I got XG up on the camera right now.
Starting point is 01:01:50 What? I do jokes about this on stage, cause I, my- Are you gigging a lot? What? Are you gigging a lot? Do you do a lot of stand up? I have been, yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:01 I got back, it's a year ago, a a year and a well, I don't know I took a break As I started building more of an online audience. I got like real insecure in LA about like because of things I was saying on Twitter people were friends and like people I had known forever in comedy started unfollowing me and Saying horrible things about me and then I would see them out. It was just very, I got kind of spooked out of there, which I'm not proud of. And then, but then it was 2019 and I was like, I'll focus on my online audience. Thank God started dumpster fire and so 2020 hit And I was like, I would have been fucked
Starting point is 01:02:46 if I had not been kind of forced into this and then took a break, got pregnant, had a baby. And then I was like, oh, I'm not gonna go back, but I always wanted to and just it's the way my brain works and I can't ever stop thinking about it. And I just have been stockpiling material for years. And then I got out here and my friend was like, just come on my down, you know, like come on Ariel,
Starting point is 01:03:12 Isaac Norman. She's like, come on my show. It's just a gay show. The stakes are super low. Just see how it feels. And like she fucking was the crack dealer that gave me a hit a crack again. And now I'm fully back.
Starting point is 01:03:26 So you're a gay comic. No I'm not a gay comic. She just has a gay show and it's actually great because I get to try my shit out at mothership but also try it out for very left-wing people. So somewhere in between there I think is stuff that works, like that is, you know, a little bit, that's where I feel like the goods are, you know, somewhere in between the madness.
Starting point is 01:03:54 And it's been great. Like, I don't know, I love, I just love it. I love it. I got to open, Colin Quinn had me open for him, which was great. And Landau had me open for him, which was great and Landau had me open for him all over the place, which was amazing Last year Adrian Appaloochee like pretty much all my fucking heroes
Starting point is 01:04:22 So it's been going well, I love it if I just I I get like so excited about I'm So and I'm because I took such a break. I'm such a in a weird way like in beginners mind again building like all new me. I wasn't a mom before now I am so just having to write completely new material and starting over it's been very humbling and it's been fucking awesome. So what's my spiel? I love it Yeah, I mean it's Austin's such an interesting, but I don't know if you're just doing Austin if you're going other places, but Austin we were talking about last year was the perfect blend of
Starting point is 01:04:59 progressive and Conservative. Yeah, it's a purple place. Even the progressives laugh at off-colored shit. They don't take it too serious. And you probably, you know, can credit Joe Rogan for a lot of that. Maybe not all of it, but a big surge of like, all the savages kind of coming there and creating this utopia that probably doesn't exist anywhere else.
Starting point is 01:05:26 But also everybody's so wound down, so damn tight here in LA, you know? It's like a pressure cooker. You can hear this whistling, you know what I mean? It's just always, it's just on you, you know? And everywhere else I go, it's not like that outside the city. So I think, does that make sense?
Starting point is 01:05:42 You know what I mean? Like that vibe. Yeah, totally. You had to like go to Valencia to get a normal audience in LA. So a lot of stuff that I wanted to, I was like doing gigs and pie shops out there and just like those folks were more normal.
Starting point is 01:05:56 And I do think when I was also one of the problems, when I was trying to work out a lot of the new material, I was writing as I was going through this weird, um, de-libbed hardation or whatever. Um, those audiences weren't the right audiences for me to do that because they were just like, fuck you bitch. So it was, it wasn't, it, I don't't know it all worked out the way it should and now I get to The there's so Many shows here and new shows every day and you truly can run around because it's all so close
Starting point is 01:06:37 You can run around and do four or five sets in a night like New York. It's nuts. Oh It is nuts and that's another reason because there's no stage time for me out here. You know, comedy in LA used to, they used to love Dangerous. They used to love it. You know, you can say whatever you want about the industry but they would allow people like Doug Stano, Dave Chappelle,
Starting point is 01:07:03 excuse me, David Tell. I mean, you can, excuse me, David Tell. I mean, you can go down the list of guys that it would be very hard for them to get on the, you know, Netflix right now. I mean, David Tell's on Netflix, but you know, just like they would allow these kind of savages. And then like what I watch in LA right now,
Starting point is 01:07:21 it's like, it's not even that the crowds don't like the dangers, the comics don't like it. It's the weirdest thing to me when comics want their own censorship. They call for their own censorship. The other day, Sam Morell called me, I'm not gonna say the comic we were talking about,
Starting point is 01:07:41 but he was texting me and we text back and he said he was sitting next to this comic and That we meet in this comic should make up and I didn't even know who he was and I looked him up And he was the guy that was going off on Tony Hinchcliffe about the Puerto Rican joke and all that shit I just have a real problem with comics who go after other comics You know, it's like yeah, you should defend comedy at all costs. Even if it's like, like, you know, when you, Nikki Taylor, Nikki Glaser, who I love,
Starting point is 01:08:12 and I thought she absolutely crushed it on the Gold Globes thing, I'm so happy for her, because I do believe she is a wordsmith. She's, you know, like she does things, the only other person I see do what she does is Bill Burr in terms of like, she's not afraid to go through the joke and not get a laugh She just she's working it for herself and that's like a real real craftsmanship You know, but when she does a joke about how like the P didi parties aren't gonna be the same
Starting point is 01:08:37 After you know, or the after parties aren't gonna be the same and you're like, well, they were raping kids there I like I'm not putting that on her, but I'm like the whole room laughs, right? The whole room laughs. And you're like, but if she just in the middle of her set, just yelled the N word, like that place would all start melting down and cry. They'd be like, why? And you're just like, you just laughed at kid raping jokes. Yeah. And now you're upset about the N word. I mean, by a chick who's probably banged
Starting point is 01:09:12 a bunch of black guys. I mean like, are we, are we, I mean like, that's my problem with all this political correctness. It's selective. It's so selective. And like, the people we should be Protecting most are the kids and now I'm not guy like no no pedophilia. That's not me did that's not me I'm like I'll defend comedy at all cost but
Starting point is 01:09:36 To be like oh, he said the n-word. Oh my god This is this is what I've always said though about comedy is you comedians would get bogged down in defending the material when you know in the 20 late 20 teens when a lot of this stuff was really going on. Defending, die on that hill that you can be ridiculous and say the most absurd things and also not mean them. And you don't have to get bogged in the weeds of trying to make sense of whatever ridiculous thing you're saying. But people would get in the weeds and start trying to defend their material. I'm like, no, you just get to be hyperbolic and ridiculous and insane. And it's not going to be perfect the first time
Starting point is 01:10:27 you're working this out. I mean, I've seen Burr working jokes out and people being like, I'm out of here, walk people in the room, because it wasn't quite there yet. It happens to everybody. So I got a call the other day saying that at a club that you're going to perform at, someone got banned for saying the n-word and I was like you said are you I'm gonna say it. Well, that's what I'm trying to say. That's like I'll tell you
Starting point is 01:10:52 This one's both. Have you oh really? Yeah They banned a comic for saying the n-word. I know that story Yeah, and the comic said and the homie that called me was like the joke was really bad though, and he did er And the comic said, and the homie that called me was like, the joke was really bad though. And he did ER. Okay. And I was still like- I know that story and there's way more to it.
Starting point is 01:11:09 Okay, there's more, okay, but- There's way more to it. Okay, but he, yeah, I guess one of the last things he did was say the joke, ER, and then he got banned. And they were just, let Sam know just in case, if it's so he can test it out. And I was like, Sam, it don't matter. And I love everybody involved in it,
Starting point is 01:11:24 both the comic and the club. I know There's way more to it. Okay, was his name Michael Richards. No No, it wasn't Michael Richards, but the point is uh Even if it's not funny, you should still defend it cuz even that's what my homie was saying Well, it wasn't funny. I was like it still doesn't matter He still should end up being banned for if he was on stage and to him if it was a joke. But I'm not, I don't want to get involved in it because I do know everybody, but it's more than that. Okay. It wasn't just a joke on stage. It was more than that.
Starting point is 01:11:58 So, and like I love this guy. No, I don't want to get into it because I just like it's personal shit Oh really on both sides and things that I don't think either side would want to get out and We just don't got I I'm not giving up people's like dude How many times have I fucked up and imagine someone got it? I just told all the times I got fucked up What do you think it's defended? Do you think the club's decision there is defensible based on what you know? Yes. Yes.
Starting point is 01:12:31 Alright. Because it's not based on jokes, solely jokes. That's my opinion, based on what I know. But I defend that guy's right to do all those jokes. I will always defend people's right to do all those jokes. I will always, like always defend people's right to do off-color jokes, fail, fail spectacularly, okay? I don't believe in sacred, I don't believe in sacred cows of comedy.
Starting point is 01:12:59 Now, yes, I have showed up at people's houses and to beat the fuck out of people for things they said about my kids. Okay, and I'm still going to show up once I find this other location. Okay? And that will be when I will take over the show temporarily. I apologize in advance for how bad those shoes are being. We can get an iPhone in prison. No, we're gonna get one. We'll get one of these. Who's smuggling the iPhone in, Sam?
Starting point is 01:13:31 The LA County Corrections. In my prison pocket? Hey, how long til Sam needs to do a podcast while he's in jail? Or he's like feening, hey, hey, I just need to go live. You know that phone, that big ass phone they have in the cell blocks, you know? You'll just be huddled around that thing, caught, AAA GET OFF THE PHONE ASSHOLE!
Starting point is 01:13:52 What do you guys think about all the different, since you're in LA, of the conspiracies that you've heard about the fires? Like, do you think it's a Black Rock land grab? Do you think it's a, do you think it so that they can clear the way for the rail? I saw a good one with the guy, he was, I should send it to Sam, I was thinking of, he was like showing the rail lines in Melbourne and Sydney and the fires there and overlaid them and then the fires in LA and overlaid
Starting point is 01:14:21 like the plans for the rail. Have you guys seen those? No, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, well first of all, I was saying that about the high speed rail system during the Paradise Fires. Cause that lines up right there. I, you know what was really weird? And Xavier was there.
Starting point is 01:14:39 And I think Xavier was there the last time I ever took a drink. Yeah, I was there. Cause this chick with big Chi-Cis was there the last time I ever took a drink. Yeah, I was there. Because this chick with big Chi-Cis was there. Yeah. And I was like, OK, if you're going to fucking drink, then drink here. This big Chi-Ci woman.
Starting point is 01:14:55 But it was very weird because we were talking about the Paradise Fires, and suddenly show after show after show, people from PG&E were showing up to my show. What? Yeah it was very weird and then a bunch of like zero dark 30 looking motherfuckers were like yeah we're from PG&E I'm like oh god I'm in trouble. In like a menacing way they were saying it? No they were like hey man we're fans I'm sure they might be listening be like dude we're literally fans but it was just weird because the big Chi Chi chick she was PG&E there's a couple people P and G&E that were PG&E yeah that is weird oh we've also had remember
Starting point is 01:15:34 that guy that wouldn't leave Bravo alone and we were like that's for sure to undercover yeah because at the Sacramento show we did, this is back when we were still with All Things Comedy, this woman showed up. She goes, I lived in paradise and what I saw was insane. She goes, I saw this thing in the sky. It looked like a silver cigar was just floating in the sky and these lights, she goes, was going back and forth, back and forth, and then it just went, whoo! And then everything was on fire, she said.
Starting point is 01:16:13 Fire was everywhere. And that kind of fits into one of the old bookers who used to book on the show, Ali. She would, Ali came on a show based on interviews where she's like, dude, these fires were nowhere, there were no fires, and then there were just fires everywhere, instantly. And you start getting into what that represents and it follows the whole high-speed rail system
Starting point is 01:16:37 of being able to, because it would cost billions if not trillions of dollars to buy all of that land. Well, if you burn it to the ground. So I'm into the Black Rock shit. I'm into the high speed rail system. The one I'm somewhat not into yet is the- The tunnels? The tunnels.
Starting point is 01:16:59 I saw one on Instagram the other night, and it was this woman, she had like hippie glasses on and lived in Laurel Canyon and was talking about the history of Laurel Canyon and how there was a military hospital there and it was bought by Jared Leto, I guess, that this property and under this property, there are tunnels that lead all over the city.
Starting point is 01:17:18 Have you guys heard about this? Well, we've talked about that compound of his. I used to date a girl who was his assistant that worked up there at the Leto compound. And yeah, it's labyrinthine. I mean, it's supposed to be positively massive. They're like wings of it that are just, they don't even use apparently,
Starting point is 01:17:35 or at least you're not allowed to go in. Where is this at? You can see it. Anytime you're in LA, it's that huge concrete compound that used to be like, I can't remember, it was like intelligence. Oh yeah, that was where- Production house, they used to produce stuff there. They used to be like, I can't remember, it was like intelligence. Oh yeah, that was where they used to produce stuff there. They used to produce very dark shit there,
Starting point is 01:17:48 and Marilyn Monroe would go there all the time. And they say that, isn't that where they made the nuclear bombs, that they say they're real, but they kind of look fake, the ones where like the camera doesn't shake. Oh yeah, maybe, like where they did that fake bomb testing. And allegedly they brought in all these, like the doors and all these bands were created
Starting point is 01:18:07 as like a, as a Psyop to kind of, this is the whole kind of idea with all of these tech oligarchs being, you know, turned based or whatever term you want to use, is that they're, it's a similar thing. Like this is just a, a, uh, they're essentially using all these people to launder, to like shift the mainstream. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:18:35 I mean, like it's about controlling a narrative and controlling culture. And especially if you're very nervous about where it could go and what could do, you implant people? Into these positions like they do it through like they do it through YouTube right like Suddenly you'll just see somebody everywhere, and you're like why why is this guy everywhere? I don't follow him Why why are they every day on my front page of YouTube all the time? And you're like where this dude come from and why do they have the best guests you've ever heard of in your life? That was one of the criticisms. I think you just had him on Ian though. Somebody was like that guy's enough
Starting point is 01:19:16 He came out of nowhere. There's no internet history of him. He's like Completely controlled opposition. Yeah, that's what they were saying. We, we, and we kind of talked about that. See the, here's the thing. So I did that. I go, where the hell did Ian Carroll come from? And of course all the female listeners were just like, he got, he blew up on Tik TOK you fucking retard. He was huge there and he came over and it sure as shit.
Starting point is 01:19:43 He was like, had like 750,000 followers over there, came over here and like it just really hooked up. You know, a lot of people are, you know, go, wow, Ian Carroll blew up and you know, it's like, it's what Johnny- Everyone's a Psy-op. I used to get called a deep state plant to undermine the conservative party. Like constantly. I used to get called a deep state plant to undermine the conservative party.
Starting point is 01:20:05 Like constantly. I used to get called a gay Jew shill. Sorry about that by the way, apologies. Yeah, I mean, that's what that was it. Like Sam, you're a gay Jew shill. I'm like, there's worse things to be. I tried to delete all those texts. He's like, sorry about that Indian bot farm
Starting point is 01:20:23 I hired to tell you that. But you know, yeah, and then everyone's yelling because you know, everybody who's keeping it real, they think he's not keeping it real because he won't talk about certain people or certain things, but he's going pretty hard on the war in Gaza. I mean, like, that to me is the dangerous, dangerous shit. You mean the war in Gaza that they've just completely resolved over the past day with the agreement? Yeah, good luck with that.
Starting point is 01:20:54 I mean, this is my whole thing. I saw Obama tweeted about it. He said, it's like, good to be ending this chapter or whatever. I'm like, are you serious? Do you really? I mean, what a bullshit artist. It's interesting. So, but wait up, even though you don't believe it
Starting point is 01:21:05 What's the logic on how they're destroying evidence to the tunnels? There's all these you know because you remember we had that one guest come on about all the kids below the Getty Museum And they have a giant fucking fire. You're like damn, dude. Maybe he's on something dude You know, but the whole theory is that there's just underground tunnels that connect people. And it's like, Hunter Biden has this weird tattoo on his back. The Finger Lakes tattoo?
Starting point is 01:21:35 Yeah, you're like, who gets the Finger Lakes tattooed on their back? And then you kind of take a look at like where all the cave systems are in America and you overlap that where all the missing people go. And it's almost the same thing. It's this weird kind of thing.
Starting point is 01:21:54 And how many people go missing in the finger legs and what that guy's into. So I 100% believe in, yeah, that's his tattoo. That is so weird though. What a weird Yeah What a weird tattoo yeah He must have been on a sick one like yeah Black eyes
Starting point is 01:22:24 Like a bikini line there? Yeah, you're right, Johnny. What is that? That's bizarre, right? What is that line? Dude, there's nothing in this picture that isn't bizarre. Him cracked out, black eyes, finger leg tattoo with a band-tanned butt crack out.
Starting point is 01:22:44 Yeah, he use butt naked. It's like I said a thousand times, you can say whatever you want about Hunter, but that guy always got the best Coke because he always has a fucking snuffle up against. Like that guy never ever gets Coke shrinkage, ever. It's so pure, it doesn't shrink. I spent a lot of time examining his wang.
Starting point is 01:23:03 He always had, he did, he just- It's always out. Yeah, like what are you, Johnny, nice joke. I haven't seen it, I haven't seen it. Yeah, because you're not doing deep research like that. Oh, deep research, that's what it is, okay. We're doing the deep research, dude. He's out there like wang out his crack and he's hard.
Starting point is 01:23:18 I'm like, how is that going on? Yeah, you know, again, the stuff comes out about Trump and BB and BB is all angry with Trump cuz he's making him take a ceasefire And then they're like, but there's so many like he has all these things that BB can still do so We'll see. What'd you think about when the Biden thing got the Biden laptop got brought up during the Rogan mark episode. I got brought up during the Rogan Mark episode? I didn't listen to the episode. I know there's a moment in which Biden, oh that might have been it. The laptop is brought up, yeah.
Starting point is 01:23:52 Where he basically tells Mark he lied to everybody. So he basically lied to everybody. And Mark's like, you know, you watch this AI start to have actual emotions. Oh, it's such an awkward person. That episode is awkward as hell. Well, I mean, because there's a couple things going on. It's like, you know, like everyone's given Rogan shit, but about like having all these tech guys on. Oh, I know. They're like, this is the new state media. I'm like, you guys are just mad because you aren't the state media.
Starting point is 01:24:22 And this person is just interviewing tech people Like show me one podcast be like fuck you Elon. You're not coming on Could you have Zuckerberg on them now Zuckerberg is hard for me because I don't have the emotional constraint that Joe Rogan has Yeah, you'd go hard on him. And off the gate. Off the gate. Sam's like, no, actually don't talk. I'm going in hard on this guy.
Starting point is 01:24:51 That's why Rogan's where Rogan is. You could interview Zuckerberg, I feel, and just have a real interview. I think I could. Yeah. I do. Yeah, I feel like I'm not good at like a gotcha and pushing back and I like to hear people tell their own story is whatever it is and I don't I think I'd be I'm more interested in like what interests me about Zuckerberg is this like how he gets away with kind of acting like he's just this newborn who entered
Starting point is 01:25:29 the world, you know, every time he opportunistically pivots into a direction that is beneficial for him. He's obviously getting ahead of the lawsuit that he's in with the FTC. So I think he's currying favor. He's throwing him a ball for the inauguration. Like he's clear. I think some of it is truly him probably taking testosterone and becoming more red-pilled, but I think, I don't know,
Starting point is 01:26:03 acting, like not taking any responsibility for it, not being like, yeah, I was wrong, I learned, I won't do it again, I don't know, I just, I don't trust him, I don't trust him. How funny would it be, like, the minute you shoot testosterone, like the minute you shoot, you're like, there's no way one guy shot JFK, dude.
Starting point is 01:26:23 There's no fucking way. There's no fucking way, bro time you take you take more testosterone You start going deeper and deeper and deeper the conspiracies, bro You need to do that as a stand-up routine And it's like you're this is a person who probably never used the word bro, but I bet he does now You know, he was just like this Patagonia wearing nerd. Oh, yeah. Remember when he got into barbecue like two years ago He just like yeah, this is my smoker my sweet baby raise. It's just so it's like a it's like a robot So about humanity, you know, he's so
Starting point is 01:26:59 autistic he's so He really is he like fetishizes things that normal humans do, you know They become like sort of weird obsessions for him you can tell He's not looking us. We're going to Target, and he's just like we're just regular people at Target You know he's getting my flag to surf with I drink in my Milwaukee's best with my I fuck Asians too Some people think he's getting divorced. That's why. Oh really?
Starting point is 01:27:25 And this is like, he's getting super like, like fucking alpha bro. I got it. So we got bang strange now dude. I'm not shackled. Who do you got your money on? Elon or Zuck? On a fight. MMA. Oh Elon with Snap Zuckerberg.
Starting point is 01:27:40 Elon's so big but Zuckerberg is is younger. Younger. Yeah, he's trained younger and younger. Yeah. Yeah. He's trained and he's younger. Like, I wonder how big they are. I always saw his dude.
Starting point is 01:27:50 Do you, do you, is there any part of Elon where you go with that guy moves quick? So it's five, seven. Let's see. Elon is my money's on Zach. You got five. Elon's got five inches on him. Yeah. But it's like also that he's built like a cyber truck
Starting point is 01:28:07 He's literally built like a cyber truck he can't move he's It does not look like he's like hard to get your arms around Right, but it doesn't look like he has a he's got a barrel chest. Yeah every time I think of I see a cyber truck I think of a sketch of that. I did with land out and where he's like it looks like a kid drew it He can in my mind of like it really does look like a fucking kid drew it now Johnny You love the cyber truck it gets your dick hard, right? I love it It's just like what what is it about it that you? It looks like the truck version of a DeLorean, and I love a DeLorean.
Starting point is 01:28:47 To me, it looks like the back to the future of the car got stretched out into a truck. I don't hate it. It looks like a Mars Rover. Yeah. I just like the bare metal look, I like that. Although you see a lot of people around LA are painting them now,
Starting point is 01:29:00 which completely defeats the purpose. But they're everywhere in LA, by the way. Some places, you know, it's really rare to see one. They're everywhere. My daughter gets so excited when she sees it. She just goes, Saba talk! I was there on the phone. I heard that.
Starting point is 01:29:14 I was like, yeah, that's a cyber truck. That's really funny. I haven't really fallen in love with them. They're everywhere around here in Austin, everywhere. I see there's not a day that goes by that I don't see a couple. And I still haven't fallen in love with them. But I mean, I also didn't vote for Trump until this last election. What's the thing they were using them for the fires? Something about Starling.
Starting point is 01:29:42 They were like using them for as like starling bases They're basically driving around LA. I think and he was using them as bases to so people could have Starlink is fucking amazing I'm with Sam. I think they're gonna use all the star links to do that fucking project blue beam. I Figure like that might be possible. I'm not against that dude. I'm wait. What's that? I've never heard of this you never heard project blue beam No, I'm basic bitch in the suburbs. I'm trying to raise a toddler the sub are bang bang. Oh It is the theory that they're gonna fake an alien
Starting point is 01:30:21 attack and To get us all under one world government. And you know, there's been talk, they're gonna do a giant hologram that everyone's like, oh my God, it's the, you know? And it will be, and then Elon will become king. Dude, listen, I wonder, what was that, betting website we used to use?
Starting point is 01:30:42 Polymarket? Polymarket or Kesha? Kelshe sponsored the show. Kelshe, I wonder if they do something on who's going to be the Antichrist? Is it Trump? Is it Elon? How long till they're homies? How long till they stay homies? Is it staying on for the four years
Starting point is 01:30:58 till Trump's out? Are they going to get in a little dispute? I know pro wrestling, they always like to mix it up. They always like to mix it up. They always like to mix it up. I don't know, man. I will... Cause they're buddy buddy right now. Right now they're like homies, but eventually, you know,
Starting point is 01:31:13 Trump and it's like egos. Eventually, I'm sure one of those... As long as Trump is in power, I don't think any... That's why Zuckerberg's cozying up to him now is because he's in power. Zuckerberg would not be doing this if if if Hillary had won. Or I mean Kamala, sorry. Same thing. He wouldn't be doing this. No way. Does anyone like Kamala at all? It's just like she went to that funeral. You guys
Starting point is 01:31:36 see that funeral and all the lip readings? Leap readers? And they were just and she was... and by the way everyone has a different version of what they. I know they said and they all look like they're right Yeah, it's fun. How that works, isn't it? How do we get those 700 bucks? What do you mean? We're supposed to get 700 bucks. No, if you have something burned down you piece of shit I didn't mean me in general find the Pacific Pal States on the map alone. I mean in general How do you how do you get it? Like how, cause 700 is still trash but like how do you even, you just gotta really, your house really gotta be burned down for 700 bucks?
Starting point is 01:32:11 I thought you meant if you got evacuated out. They're only giving them 700, that's like the COVID money. Is that just the number you get? Why is it the same amount as COVID? Because because Biden and all these guys are just pieces of shit. Seven's a magic number. They're just pieces of shit.
Starting point is 01:32:31 Isn't that what Gary Numbers guy told us? Seven was actually like a satanic number or some shit like that. It's actually a bad luck number, not a good luck number. What's seven, seven? Yeah, I mean, Gary, the numbers guy. There's a bunch of people Gary, the numbers guy has been on a real row lately You got in a fight with that Andrew who's the Andrew guy that just loves full-contact Andrew Wilson
Starting point is 01:32:55 He went out with Andrew Wilson. I Don't know how wet Then he did so yeah, I don't want to get into that but it's like he just did some shady some some interesting stuff But but like what were we talking about before a fucking asshole derailed us all It is to seven is seven hundred seventy dollars, which is seventy seven Okay, it says here it's just one form of federal aid to LA fire victims. Victims it says actually, not just random Mexicans. No, what I meant, evacuated.
Starting point is 01:33:32 So 700 sounds okay if you just got evacuated, you lost your day from work, but for your house to get burned actually down to 700 bucks, that's un- that's what I meant. Did you get evacuated? I got text messages. I did get text messages saying hey. You got the fake text message? Is that what you're saying? Everybody got text messages People didn't even live in LA got text messages wait So actually you think because you got a text message you should get seven no
Starting point is 01:33:54 I was in Glendale and I got three text messages saying hey if you live on this street You should like literally consider and then moving out Moving out or I mean evacuating out, you know what I mean. I left. You did leave. Because there were all those accidental ones that went out. Which is unreal to me. I mean, incompetence at the highest. Remember when Hawaii said that there was like a nuclear bomb
Starting point is 01:34:17 coming? A bomb's coming prepared to die. Oops, sorry. I was supposed to do ControlRL ALT DELETE. I did CTRL ALT COMMAND. My bad. It's like, remember that recording of Reagan that went around of him talking about how the bombs are falling?
Starting point is 01:34:33 You know, it was like a joke recording that he did when he was getting ready to go on live before the... It would be like the equivalent of that going out to the world, like the nukes have been dropped. I mean, that's exactly what happened. I mean, they're beating them up. That doesn't seem as bad rightly so as I know but like people like oh my god, man You shout this alert to everybody. It's it's bad, but I think there's like dumping all the water like
Starting point is 01:35:00 The reserves are bad. I mean again we said last week. I love bill burr I mean just fully retarded on that Jimmy Kimmel fucking stupid. I Love and what yeah, Jimmy. He's trying to say that there wasn't a massive incompetence at the at the very least he was Bill burr went on Kimmel suggesting he said that the fire department has done a great job and the government in California, he suggested a great job with this whole thing, is what he's saying, and then the, pfft, anybody else?
Starting point is 01:35:29 I'm gonna happen to him. I don't know. But okay, so they say this is- No, I love him, he's great. No, we all love him, but it's just like, man, when that guy's wrong, he is fucking wrong. And he is like, he'll run head first into retard. Yeah. He's from Boston, as though we all do. Yeah, there's not a lot of nuance to him. And he is like he'll run headfirst into retardant
Starting point is 01:35:47 He's from Boston. So we all do Nuance to him, you know, I mean like he's a he's a blunt force, you know objects Like there's times he gets shit, right and you're like dude great rant and then you're like dude like Like he's like he's doing the same thing. Oh, you're an expert on the internet. Bro, you were all wrong about the masks. Fauci basically came out and said it's all bullshit. Like, why aren't you apologizing to everybody? That you fucking air beat, like getting in people's faces in LA. Yelling at people about that shit.
Starting point is 01:36:20 Like, it's just, bro, stop, stop thinking because you got a doctor in front of you that you know everything and everything coming out of your mouth is 100% pure. There's people out there that do deep research and lose a lot of shit in their life because the things they're saying are unpleasant truths. Okay? Deep research.
Starting point is 01:36:42 Yeah, I mean, dude, we get people on here all the time that come on and like they're not doctors But they go deep in the shit and you're like wow you're fucking right You're fucking right. There's guys who aren't allowed anywhere near the main I like if you watch what happened the doctor drew like that's a mild form of what's happening What do you mean? He's getting hit with fucking? misinformation miss Medical misinformation on YouTube. I forget it was what he was talking about, but they gave him a strike on his YouTube channel Yeah, I mean and then but then there's the other side of where you have like Billy Carson
Starting point is 01:37:17 You know who actually comes up against an expert and looks like a fool. That's okay Cuz actually you'll look like a fool just like bill burr did with the mask and they California politicians did a great job To me though, I will say I feel like bill burr is a guy who's a main allegiance is just to being funny I don't think he cares. I totally disagree. You know you think he thinks Yeah, I mean if you tried to get him to you get him on that and say why aren't you apologizing he would display It's a joke. I think you would say that But I mean he that is his argument on why he he he air beat down Joe Rogan on his own show
Starting point is 01:37:56 About mass. I don't I hear from y'all I hear from the doctors and then it turns out they were they all lied to you Because they were paid to and there's and what what Bill Burr's fucking? Responses he's my friend. We're just joking you were just joking. I think that was 100% your belief I'm gonna listen to the experts There are some people like that who think that everything they say is part of their act, you know I mean, I feel like he's one of those people. I just know behind closed doors, he's saying the same thing. Yeah, he might believe it. I mean, you believe a lot of things you say.
Starting point is 01:38:28 So how's that, how's that, how's that not being full of shit? Yeah, I, if- And I'm a pro Bill Burry, he's like one of the best ever do it. I mean, it's funny, we say that a lot, don't we? Well, we have to because if, so, if it, if he finds out and he get, you know,
Starting point is 01:38:44 it's like, I love you dude it's just you are dude you're wrong and you've been wrong before and like you're really right and we celebrate you when you're really right we all pass around your rants so when you're wrong people need to say hey dude you might want to sit this one out I mean they wouldn't let him live it down when his wife gave the bird to Donald Trump I'm for you got that though. That's that is she should be allowed to do that No, she should be allowed to do that's her own thought but I still felt bad that they literally acted like he should have like Hit her or something. I was like, yeah, that's it. That's his wife
Starting point is 01:39:18 I'm like dude stop, you know again, it's like freedom of speech and that was a form of freedom That is that is more freedom of speech than the people upset with what Twitter did, taking away their blue check marks because of criticism of Israel. When you guys get stuff wrong, do you admit it? I love it, yeah, I love it. I love that, I'll admit when I'm wrong, I've come out and said I'm wrong.
Starting point is 01:39:45 Because what are the things you've been the most wrong about? Okay, let me see if I can get the... I know mine right out of the gate. I'm going to come up with what I've been wrong about. I was so wrong because I really thought that there was no big deal for two weeks. I was like, oh, what's the big deal while we figure this out? Two weeks? Like, to stop the spread? I just was an idiot. I just really, really underestimated how the government will take power and never give it back. I was wrong about Demar Hamlin. You know, I thought that he was dead and they were lying to us about it and turned out he's not or that's the best clone you've ever seen in your life.
Starting point is 01:40:38 You didn't think Biden would win either? Yeah, I thought I mean, I know Biden did win. But you know what I mean? You didn't think he would win. Biden did win. You didn't think you'd Biden didn't win you didn't think he would take office though. Yeah, that was the vote. That's it But he's right Well, you were wrong that he took he did take office But he didn't win right, but you lost the bet you paid me because he I didn't pay you
Starting point is 01:40:59 But he did win the election. I had to I, very, I made it very clear that my, my bet was that he would be inaugurated president was, was that what he was. Yes. Yes. But I like, I will admit when I'm wrong because I think it gives you more credibility to admit when you're wrong. And there was something recently. Yes.
Starting point is 01:41:21 I admitted that I was wrong. I can't remember what it is. You know, I've called out Sean Ryan, I'm sure he couldn't give a fuck but his presentation of of of Information like you know, I'm whistle-blowing We got this whistle blower and they're gonna just crap trap some fucking real data on us The Isis is here. They're gonna blow shit up I'm like, why don't you tell them it's the CIA?
Starting point is 01:41:48 Funding all this shit and allowing them in why don't you say that you don't say that you act like this is like You act like they are acting Independent of anybody giving them tons of money tons of guns tons of training tons of transport tons of ways to get into the country of money, tons of guns, tons of training, tons of transport, tons of ways to get into the country. That's my problem. Sean Ryan's like, we're going to disappear. I got to go in hiding. Then he's answering. He's like going and getting a comment wars with people. Like, what kind of hiding is that? And there was something else was wrong about the only one that is hard for people to give up that really believe it on. I'll tell you real quick. Oh, and Benjamin, I should have defended Owen Benjamin
Starting point is 01:42:25 when he got in trouble with the M word. And we're still on my bike. I should have defended his right to say it even if I don't agree necessarily with the usage of the word that way. I should have defended his right to say it because he ended up being totally right that people are more scared of hate than actual real on the
Starting point is 01:42:47 street level Consequences and actions. It's funny to thinking back on that now It's hard for me to imagine you being in a space where you wouldn't have defended that it's Things have changed so much over the past couple of years Well, if you want to go on Call people the n-word call people the N-word, black people the N-word, you know, I'm going to defend your right to say a joke about the N-word. People's reaction to you calling black people the N-word, you can't control that.
Starting point is 01:43:19 That is, that, you know, freedom of speech. But it was a joke, though, right? It was like a song, right? Right, right. About how black, how was a joke though, right? It was like a song, right? Right, right, about how Black, and we're a soul's bike, right? People are gonna have reactions to that, right? Also freedom of speech. Well, that's not freedom of speech,
Starting point is 01:43:35 that's freedom of expression. Freedom of speech is the government coming down and arresting you for things you said. Nobody was showing up and trying to arrest. Well, you have to- But oh, let me just say this. He did get kicked out of his city. What do you mean?
Starting point is 01:43:49 But wasn't that just like the town running him out? But that is the government, right? The town is the government. No, I mean, I don't know if it was actually the town or like the town's people. Oh, interesting. So yeah, I mean, so there could be an argument for free speech there. And you have some nuance to your thoughts about that too You think that there's freedom of speech but not freedom from the consequences of your speech if it enrages other people
Starting point is 01:44:12 Well, I personally would like to live in a world where people just go it's a joke move on. I don't like it I'm not gonna support this comic. That's what I would like to happen. I don't think it's going to happen I don't I think's going to happen. I think we have dangerously dumb people that are allowed to participate in society like everybody else. So you can go to a comedy club, say something that isn't that bad and someone has an adverse reaction to it. Do I think they should run up on stage and fucking want to fight you?
Starting point is 01:44:41 No, I think that's stupid. Like my homie's like, can you say the N word? I was like, you can say it, but if there's a black guy there, there might be consequences to that. Like, it is freedom of speech, you're literally allowed to say it, you won't, you will not get arrested for saying it, but if a black guy's there and he will fucking hit you, there's consequences to what you say. Which is a sad thing, because if it's in context, you're like, why do white liberals laugh at black guys saying the N-word? Because it's in context
Starting point is 01:45:06 So when I'm like, I'm a white nigga Yeah, and you go crazy on me You don't understand contacts and you're just having an emotional reaction to it And that's why the dangerously dumb are dangerous for more visit white nick.com. Okay Check out my tour date for you. You were great. White.com check out my tour dates. You were great. I had a great time with you. I had a hope. You know, I hope you had a good time. I hope I didn't talk over you too much. I'm probably going to get my dick kicked in the, uh,
Starting point is 01:45:34 in the comment section about that, but it's hard on zoom too though. It's not your fault. Um, I had a great time. We have a little more delay than normal today. Sorry about that. Everybody. Yeah. I mean, like they know where we are. It's probably using Starlink. They know where we are. They know where we are. No, no, you guys probably are
Starting point is 01:45:50 because there's no internet in LA. The internet is so bad in Los Angeles, it's ridiculous. One more time, tell them where they can find you, Bridget. They can go to Fetasy.com or Bridget Fetasy, P-H-E-T-A-S-Y, anywhere on social, and YouTube forward slash Phetasy is where Dumpster Fire is. And that's it. Well, we enjoyed the podcast.
Starting point is 01:46:15 I hope that we can do standup together sometime. Oh, I would love to. I would love that. If we do anything in awesome, I'll make sure to include you. That'd be great. Please do. Let's break down the episode. All right, let's get into it. What'd you guys think? that when we are if we do anything in awesome make sure to include you that'd be great and Let's break down the episode. All right, let's get into it. What'd you guys think? Well, actually did you get you have now did that box you have that box over there? What is the box?
Starting point is 01:46:34 This is from district cutlery Remember, I oh you got me some now you got him. So I didn't he's the only one who got something for free Oh, what? Yeah, this is why? Right why for existing I guess I? Don't I don't know what it is See here see what this is let me see probably and then oh Whoa late knife Probably not switch play this no
Starting point is 01:47:06 nice That's perfect for doing blow and then Sam this is your other Christmas gift that did not come while I was in LA, unfortunately This is more of a funny kind of joke of a gift, but I think you're gonna like it. It's kind of awesome It is not a blow up doll. You have plenty of those already. Let me see your knife. Yeah, we're gonna like it it's kind of awesome it is not a blow-up doll you have plenty of those already let me see your knife yeah we're gonna use it it's real sharp yeah that's why Matt oh okay so you don't know how to hand knives no obviously not he did this he's like here oh my god they don't teach that Mexico? Hand it to you blade first, yeah This is Johnny I have a gift for you. Yeah, he keeps saying actually he's got gifts for us. He does
Starting point is 01:47:54 What is this it's called a survival spear Is that great oh It's a sheath on the oh Johnny Much I fucking love that. I thought you it's like I will I will hunt vigilante style Those those is that fun. Hey easy, dude. Oh this guy That's the best beer. That's the best If you ever need a Honobor, thank you, dude, you think this is a joke. It's great Yeah, I know. It's also I got this for myself. It is a you know, I collect baseball cards now
Starting point is 01:48:34 This is the Anthony Fauci first pitch tops now card Oh, and a PSA is like 30 bucks, but I just bought guys Can you believe that they made a baseball card or this fine guy? Yeah, so there you go, what'd you guys think bridge it was great she is great Yeah, she is great dude with that. We got a move to like somewhere we can use it, dude That spear we can't you can't walk around with that and in California like you want me to do We got to move somewhere after the fires where you can actually use that put that to work Hunt the most dangerous games that kill people so yeah, what are you talking about? No talking taking that to the farm? Oh, I see like oh, you're gonna hunt animals for hunting me. What is it for? What is that for Johnny?
Starting point is 01:49:15 Hey, fuck you get away from me like a homeless Yeah Or arsonist a little bit your mind went to like hunting homeless people. That's who me know him. Yeah this guy So how many of these fires were homeless made? I think a bunch of them were just a combination of Just bad management Combination you're right Alex Jones says what that it's like they paid these people right to go out there and start the fires Right isn't that way? Yeah. Yeah. I mean well, they're in the country to do that cause chaos It's what you've been saying forever about the I think you maybe got the flavor of it wrong when you were talking about there being
Starting point is 01:49:55 Immigration rights, but those people are here to do I agree to destroy the country. I agree, dude. I agree Um, I mean so from the inside out. I think there's a lot There's a lot to it, dude. I think there's a lot of a lot of them were were smart meters a lot of them were You know mismanagement purposeful and Some of its arson dude for sure And yeah, how funny was it? I can't remember where we said this before.
Starting point is 01:50:28 I think maybe Brokensinn, but you had over a week kind of a microcosm of what happened during the pandemic where you had people, celebrities like Henry Winkler coming out saying it was an arsonist. They were arsonists responsible for the fires. Then you had the city coming out and saying, Hey, the celebrities saying that need to pipe down. We have no evidence of that. And then literally the very next day, the LAPD arrests a ton of people for arson.
Starting point is 01:50:50 The very next day. Well, what's happening now is that people are, they're lying to defend the base, right? What do you mean? Like, we just see people on the internet saying that the story of Karen Bass defunding the fire department by $18 million is a lie, and they just get curb stomped in the community
Starting point is 01:51:13 notes with evidence after evidence after evidence. To write that is willfully lying to support your base, to support your side at the consequence of the truth. And that to me is dangerous. Yeah, I mean, you have it from CBS News right here. A month before fires, LA Fire Chief warned budget cuts were hampering emergency response. That's the Fire Chief.
Starting point is 01:51:36 That's not a conspiracy theorist. It's not Alex Jones. That is the Fire Chief. That lesbian's lying to you? No way. Yeah, and like that lesbian is getting her dick kicked in. Which one? The one that's... Metaphorical dick kicked in.
Starting point is 01:51:48 Her strap... she's getting her strap on kicked in. Which one are we talking about? The ones that are like the three... the three head ones? The head one. Oh, okay. She's getting blamed for this. The head one I can charge. And I'm telling you, it's the progressive left that is fueling the DEI stuff cuz they don't want you to go Because worse than thinking it's DEI is believing this was done on purpose
Starting point is 01:52:12 You know the one I'm talking about. I thought you were talking about this one Yeah, so right here. Well, no, that's she's she's one of them. She's the advice but she's not in charge It's the other one and she's been calling out the mayor forever. It's this one right here I have a story. It's uh This is the chief right here this lady That's probably gonna be an ad It's uh, I don't need proactive. I'm What will you do when the what will you do?
Starting point is 01:52:45 But with a genera All right, do you guys have a generator? I do but I gotta hook it up We have one that's propane powered back on the farm, dude It's the best man as soon as the power goes out, who can I get the hook up a generator? What kind of generator is it? It's uh, uh gas powered what? Yeah And it's like a whole home unit like that would Yeah. How are your house? Yeah, you need a electrician probably. All right. Should I go on like one of those apps? Here we go. All right. And Crowley, who's in charge of the department's more than 3200 uniformed personnel began by
Starting point is 01:53:19 asking her how they're doing. They're resilient. They're putting everything into this. I can guarantee you that. I'm extremely proud of their dedication and commitment. How is that for irony, right? You're just right by the ocean and your whole house is burning. You're totally right, Johnny. Look at all that water right there. And they're like, nope, there's nothing we could do. Come on, man. It's spoiled. And to this mission, they're doing everything in their power to save lives and protect property. I must ask you, because a lot of people are talking about the warning that you sent last
Starting point is 01:53:56 month that the budget cuts have, quote, severely limited the department's capacity to prepare for, train for, and respond to large-scale emergencies, including wildfires. You sent that warning about these budget cuts. Was this preventable? I tell you from the budget cut side of things, when there's a $17 million cut in our budget operating costs, immediately from that point, I had to make some tough decisions. I looked at some other duties and responsibilities
Starting point is 01:54:28 to stop it when they go back to her and had to focus right back on the training of our firefighters and also our ability to respond to the everyday fires and EMS response. Doesn't she look like when the Simpson does like a hot chick? chick Does that what she looks like her eyes are so far apart, right? That's exactly what like the Simpsons do by the way that woman there in her time is one of the most beautiful people on TV Yeah on TV, especially news. Yeah, I mean like it's I'm at the age when I'm starting to watch chicks They were super hot start their meat suits start to decay. It's weird, right? It is weird.
Starting point is 01:55:05 Yeah, like Sarah Michelle Geller is on the new Dexter series, you know, and she's like a older woman now. You know, I watched, I grew up with her, jerking off to her on Cruel Intentions, you know what I mean? And now she's like a grandma type. It's so crazy, right? It's amazing, by the way,
Starting point is 01:55:19 who can get good work done and who doesn't, you know what I mean? Like who can have it done tastefully and who can't. And how like like it is it is dangerously dangerous when you're an older woman and you get Surgery done if that surgeon fucks it up you could be done. It's a slippery slope to cat woman Yeah, it's a slippery slope to weird fish face too. Yeah. Yeah, it's
Starting point is 01:55:47 sloped a weird fish face too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's, it scares me. So, I mean, they're giving her shit because it's DI. I don't think it's her fault. I think this is 100% on Gavin Newsom and 150% on Karen Bass. I don't, when I hear that woman talk and I've heard her talk a lot now, I don't, I don't feel incompetence coming through. Do you know what I mean? Like I think that's probably she's one of those people who actually excelled despite being a woman in that field I just feel that Even though it could be true that sold the EI shit. It's over right? What now? The I say like you you don't think that'll change though, even though I agree where she wasn't as calm It's not her fault Do you think they'll stop doing it? No, I know they won't stop doing D you don't
Starting point is 01:56:27 think that all of us do you don't think even after this LA is LA it's nothing always nothing's gonna change here um nice and like do you think DEI will end in Los Angeles after this no no it's so deep the the people that move here are rich kids now it used to be people who were like from small towns wanting to make now it's just a bunch of rich kids and they're always going to think like that. They're like we you know what this needs more trans. The only thing I don't get since they believe in climate change so bad wouldn't you be extra prepared for it? Like oh I really believe in climate change wouldn't I believe that star fires are going to start so I would prepare for it.
Starting point is 01:57:04 They need death and destruction to get more people to buy into it. You can't convince people with climate change if nobody's losing their shit. Right? Well, guys, go to samtriplee.com. Again, I got dates coming up. We got Batavia at the, this weekend.
Starting point is 01:57:23 I believe it's next weekend, right? I mean Yeah, i'm pretty sure. Yep next weekend. Okay. I got petavia Then I got columbus, ohio. I can't stress enough guys. You gotta grab your tickets now You got to grab your tickets now If you don't grab your tickets and they didn't they're not happy with the sales up front they could cancel it So go grab your tickets now. It's gonna be at the Columbus funny bone Xavier grail myself Eddie Bravo dropping hammer of the gods. Okay, go back
Starting point is 01:57:54 We got Pottstown PA we got Morristown, New Jersey That what is that the 6 February 6 7th and 8th and then up Phoenix, Arizona on the 27th through the March 1st Anything else guys, you know hit that like button subscribe and uh, I mean I haven't said it But thank you for everybody who came out to Spokane, Washington. That was amazing. That was amazing, dude And you can't find me on Twitter anymore. I guess come to my Instagram at Johnny a Woodard for everybody who came out to Spokane, Washington. That was amazing. That was amazing, dude. And- You can't find me on Twitter anymore. I guess come to my Instagram, at Johnny A. Woodard.
Starting point is 01:58:30 All right, guys. Enjoy these highlights. Here's a clip from the latest Broken Sim. And I wanted them to watch Mary Poppins. I felt like, okay, they're old enough. We can watch Mary Poppins. Let's go. It's great. It's a magical story of
Starting point is 01:58:47 A magical nanny that brings a family together to teach them the how to live life, right? So as I'm watching this with my kids I'm starting to realize that this movie is really about how the universe shits on this dad the whole time The universe is shitting on this father the whole time this poor dad Okay, where's the job at the bank? He has a wife the wife is a stay-home mom. Okay, the wife is a stay-home mom Okay, she has one job. Do you know what her job is Johnny? She leads the local feminist group. Okay. She's a feminist and Mary Poppins. Wow, I don't remember Yeah, you don't remember this and then you watch it. She's a feminist and Mary Poppins. Wow. I don't remember. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:59:25 You don't remember this and then you watch it. She's a leader of the feminist organization. She's in a pussy riding. Okay. And she has three nannies. Her nannies have nannies and it opens up when there's a giant problem because the one nanny wants quick cause they lost the kids. There's four adults watching two kids and no one knows where these kids are because these kids are pieces of shit already. They're in the fucking park with the hobos, the cops. They already got a police record. Cops know exactly where they live.
Starting point is 01:59:56 I have a police record. This poor dad's coming home, right? His neighborhood used to be nice. It's gone to shit. The park has crackheads in it and the worst kind of crack heads, singing crack heads. Who sing show tunes and beg for money. Is there anything worse than a crack head who sings show tunes? Nothing. They're all on drugs, their neighborhood's gone to shit, there's gunfire everywhere.
Starting point is 02:00:24 The next door neighbor's so dangerous He shoots cannons everywhere, which is lowering the price of the value of the neighborhood He comes home Johnny sounds great. He comes home The cop brings these two little shits home because they're out running probably game numbers Selling drugs doing all this stuff. He brings them home, the nanny quit. They're like, we gotta get a new nanny. So he puts out an ad for a new nanny, right?
Starting point is 02:00:51 Next day, 100 nannies show up. 100 nannies are outside waiting to be the new nanny for these two kids that respect nothing, okay? They have no respect, these two kids. Guess who shows up from the sky like a rider on the pale horse whose name is Death. Riders on the score. Like one of the fallen angels, Mary Poppins,
Starting point is 02:01:15 this sorcerer comes down, and guess what she does, Johnny? She murders 100 nannies. She murders them. She uses direct energy weapons and weather manipulation, and she blows this 40-year-old and 50-year-old nannies. She murders them. She uses direct energy weapons and weather manipulation and she blows this 40 year old and 50 year old nannies away and they all die. It starts off, this movie 10 minutes in, a hundred nannies are massacred at this house. I got a thousand if they're Jewish. if they're Jewish. Six million nannies are killed. Okay, six million nannies are killed at this poor house, at this poor camp. It's dead. They died. A hundred. Six million nannies dead.
Starting point is 02:02:00 The news isn't even talking about it, okay? The nanny comes down, right? She comes down and she descends upon this family like black death. She shows up, he's like, I have to talk to a bunch of people. They're like, there's no one out there. You're hiring me. And she doesn't even wait to say,
Starting point is 02:02:18 hey, I'm gonna hire you. She just takes over. She just, she's like an infection. She takes over. She goes upstairs, she starts railing these kids, right? She's supposed to teach them how to clean the room. You know what she does She teaches them black magic that they they conjure dark spirits Who come and clean the room? She gets the dark realm to come and
Starting point is 02:02:41 Clean up the room they hire they they conjured the dead the spirits of the Nephilim to come and do all the work for them she's teaching them sorcery she then takes them to the park and she does drugs with them with the local hobos everyone's high as shit I don't remember that part Johnny Johnny they all think they're on a fucking carousel floating around in magic time because they're all high as shit. She's doing drugs with the children teaching them showtune. Disney's done it again. They did again. So then the dad is like enough of this. I'm gonna teach you guys about work. He brings these two little
Starting point is 02:03:19 brats to the bank. Guess what they do? They cause a run on the bank, acting like they can't get their money out. He gets fired. He gets fired from his job that was providing everything. He's cracking. So what do they do? What does the bank do? Summon him.
Starting point is 02:03:38 They summon him to a Skull and Bones secret society show meeting, a a quiet meeting where there is a battle for control and the dad snaps and kills his boss he kills his boss and runs off he's in crazy town he's going through a public humiliation ritual and which he grabs his kids and he's singing show tunes running down the street with his children, fully in this kind of alternative realm in his head, broken, snapped, mentally shish kebabed, okay?
Starting point is 02:04:19 And only then after he's been fully broken, fully MKUltra'd, does the big show up and go, you got your job back. They MKUltraed this motherfucker and that's the end of the fucking show. And I'm okay. So I'm watching this fucking show. I'm watching this movie screaming going, he's trying his best. Right?
Starting point is 02:04:43 Well, my phone, my ADT system starts going off. It's ringing. It's going, hey, hey, hey, there's someone outside. And I'm not even paying attention because I just want to help his dad so badly. Oh, you're invested, yeah. I'm invested because I'm a father and I know what it's like to have the universe shit on you.
Starting point is 02:05:01 Okay? I'm not even paying, this thing is just buzzing dude like a tweaker going nuts going hey dude she's here this mexican grandma this tiny mexican grandma pulls her car into my driveway because Dana left the garage door open and she starts going into my garage like it is Ross Dress for Less you can see videos of her trying on clothes. Why did you send this? I need this. So then, so I didn't even think about grabbing it. So then she's lifting stuff to her car and people are helping her because they think it's her garage. That's so fun. She cleaned us out. She got away with it.
Starting point is 02:05:46 She got away with furniture and clothing. You didn't go confront her? I was watching a movie. How long do you think this heist is going to go? To be fair to grandma, if your garage door was open, I would think there was a garage sale on or it was like... But nobody's going, hey, that's going to be five bucks.
Starting point is 02:06:04 You have the messiest garage I've ever seen Johnny you know what now you're victim blaming and I think you should really if you want to get and you want to become an immortal just take Sam's riff on Mary Poppins and put that over clips from the movie and you will become an immortal on broken simulation because that that's gonna be hilarious, whoever does that. If you'd like to hear the rest of this episode, subscribe to Broken Simulation in your podcasting app or check us out at youtube.com slash Sam Trippoli. We go deep home boys.
Starting point is 02:06:35 Eric, open your mic. Drink from the fountain of knowledge. There's lizard people everywhere. That's some interdimensional shit. Wake up, Aaron. This is only the beginning. You just blew my mind.

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