Tin Foil Hat With Sam Tripoli - Safe Space With Sam Tripoli EP 33(Bonus Episode): Vegas With Jimmy Shubert

Episode Date: March 31, 2017

welcome to a bonus episode of Safe Space with Sam Tripoli. My guest this episode is the amazingly talent Jimmy Shubert. We discuss.... 1) Stand Up Comedy 2) Politics 3) Vegas Comedy Club

And welcome to a very special episode of Safe Space. I am driving home. I know normally Safe Space is a ramp podcast, but my buddy, I'm driving back from Las Vegas with one of my favorite people on the planet. Please welcome to Safe Space. The one the only Jimmy Schubert, everybody. Trips is in the house. Do we are a mobile podcasting.

We're pulling out of that giant city with a thermometer on it. That looks like a child abduction van broken down on the side of the road right there. Pizza Gate. Pizza Gate in the Hesie. And then we're heading back to Los Angeles, dude, after like seven days in Vegas. Yeah, so we're driving. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi, we're th. thi, we're th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, we're thi, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the thea. thea. thea. th. thea. thea. th. thea. the thea. the. the. th. th. I mean that's yeah that alone you know. Yeah so we're driving so how is your week at Brad Garrett's you've been really gushing about how great Brad Garrett is and what a nice studio to do you. Well first off yeah you know you're in Vegas which is awesome and that you're doing what I

think is like a premier comedy go maybe you do one show a night I just happened to be working this week with Brad Garrett, who I've never met before, but I'm a big fan. He is a- Oh, this is the first time you met him? Yeah, he's just, oh dude, he's a monster. He's a monster on stage. I mean, dude, he does, like he's just hilarious. And then he does, he happens, like, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's just, he's, he's just, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's. He. He. He. He. He. the. He. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the sweetest guy. You ever want to meet off stage. She's just a sweetheart. And you get a great green room and they got whatever you want. They got, they got coax, they got,

everything's all loaded up. They got, they got like this old. Dude, you know, you're a comic when you appreciate coax in a green room. Dude, let me tell you something, but it's also got this old antique. It's like a pharmaceutical like an old pharmaceutical chest with like like probably like prozac. No 15 drawers along the top and then you know bigger drawers down the bottom but they're all filled with candy. You know, yeah, extra has something specific in it like you know ones is pop tards there's there's there's snickers bars there's there's kid kit bars in one drawer I mean, I would just? I would just? the their? Yeah. there's? Yeah. there's? Yeah. there's? Yeah. there's? Yeah. there's? Yeah. there's? Yeah. there's? there's. there's. there's. there's. there's. there's. there's. there's. there's. there's. there's. there's. there's. there's just. There's just. there's. there's. there's. there's. there's. there's. there's. there's. there's 15. there's 15. there's 15. there's. there's. there's. there's. there's. there's. there's. there's. there's. there's. there's. there's. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. 15. the. 15. 15. 15. the. 15. the. 15. the. the. it's ridiculous. That's why I get fat on sets because I just love. I love. Yeah, and you could tell that he takes such pride in the way the club is laid out because it's designed so well. It's like old school Vegas showroom stuff, it really is. And so it's one of those rooms that I think that I play that like, you know, the thak thiiiiii, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th. that, th. th. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thatthink that I play that like, you know, dictates that I wear a suit and ties.

Yeah, I knows that dude. Do you enjoy wearing a suit because I used to wear a suit during naughty shows and I just would sweat the fuck out by like a Hugo boss and I would ruin a Hugo boss. Yeah, well it does it gets a little get a little crunchy towards the end of the week. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, th. But. But, th. But, th. But, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, I th, I th, I th, I th. But, I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I I I I th. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. I I I I I I th. I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. t t t t t t t t t t t t t t too t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t towards the end of the week. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you bring a couple suits or one suit? No, I bring like, I bring a couple suit, I brought two, three suit coats actually and one suit and then you know mix it up a little bit. I wore, you know, the black jeans with a black suit coat. Yes. And then I had this thing. You know, this, the dress up but not totally dress up. You remember like the 80s? Yeah, but I had a dress coat and jeans. Yeah, but you know you have I just think that like the showroom is great that that you should at least dress up at least that much. You know what I mean?

100% now. Don't gonna wear a tie but I opted for especially in today's day and age. Like I'm not on stage in a hockey jersey. I'm up there killing it in a suit and tie with a matching fucking pocket square. And you know what, bro, that's old school shit and people like it. I know not everybody works in a suit and tie, but I happen when I'm in Vegas, there's two rooms. The Borgada in Atlantic City because it's a 9haghaghine, their, their, their, their, their, thin, their, their, th C theater and if I was doing theaters I would always dress up I just think it's different it actually dresses up your point of view when I do a big show yeah I wear a suit yeah I wear a suit so didn't somebody do a showcase with you in shorts we won't say names but they

showed up in shorts yeah well in all fairness he didn't know that he was going to be doing a guest set it up set it up for him, but he shows up and it's so funny. I wouldn't even go to a comedy club in shorts like even yeah the comedy store when I go I wouldn't I would make sure I'd pants out. So then dude this is the story of the this is the story of the week ready. Yeah so at Brad Garrett. Yeah. So at Brad sweet heart his brother Pauly that runs at sweetheart great people you know Tuesday night those are the best clubs to the ones that yeah mom and pop places. Yeah Tuesday night Jerry Seinfeld stops oh my god and wants to do a 25 minute like guest set because he's working on some new stuff for Netflix and I think that the premise was that he's gonna it's almost gonna be like a one-man showish where he takes you through how he got to where he got with his material. Did he have

cameras with him? No he was just there with his manager George Shapiro who I've also never met so I walk in you're sitting there with Brad I walk in in a suit and tie and I walk in a suit and tie and I and I and I and I and I and he and he and he and he and he and he and he and he and he and he and he and he and he and he and he and he and he and he and he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he the he the he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he was he he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he took he's took he's took he was took he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he he he he walk in a suit and tie. And Brad told me later, he goes, you know, Jerry's pulled me inside. He said, you know, it's great to see guys actually showing up in a suit and tie. But it's, you know, anyway. No, I respect the shit out of it. So he goes up to, he goes up. He goes up. the place, he goes, he goes, he goes, he, and, he, and, and, he, and, and, he, and, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to. the, to. th. th. th. th. th. tho, th. the, th. th. the, he. the, he. the, he. the, he. the, he. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. to. to. to. th. to. to. th. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. t t t t t t t t t t t t to. to. t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t out of the curtain, they go, like, I mean, like the Beatles just showed up.

Like the Beatles showed up. And it's a clock, it gives like a 350 seat room. So it was like off the charge, like, ah, you can hear it backstage. And then he proceeds to do a 25 minutes, took a couple questions and answers. Was he supposed to do 25 minutes or? shaved down, Brad shaved down, and so did they shave five off of my buddy Dale Jones, who also did a great job this week. Oh, that's great.

So he had to follow, Brad's just hilarious. And dude, just crowds, his crowds love him. They love him, he's hilarious. You are a great guy to follow him too because, you know, it's like, you've been doing it forever. You've been in the pits of the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the original room at the comedy store. You know how like, you know how to walk in to a five o'clock fire. You know, it's like, everything's on fire, firemen's got to save the day. And that's what, you know, the reason that works, man, is the reason comedy store comics

is there's no host. You have to go right up after someone just a famous person just flame throw the rooms and you have to one be cool, calm, collected and be an assassin. Yeah and just walk up there, you know, it's funny. Dude, I mean, you do this long enough. Different stuff happens in the room. I had a guy have a seizure at one of my shows like in the crowd. Yeah, and in the crowd.

And I thought like something happened and the wife's done he goes he needs somebody and I go okay calm down lady. I said is there a doctor in the house? I said somebody you're back in a couple cold rags and I said, I said somebody to back and make some room I said somebody to the tauke. I'm doing play by play the stage. Guy, the guy jumps across two tables. I'm a doctor. Lays the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy. the guy. the guy. the guy. the guy. the guy. the guy. the guy. the guy. the guy. the guy. the guy. the guy's the guy's the guy's the guy's the guy's the guy's the guy's the guy's the guy's the guy's the guy's the guy's. the guy's. la the guy's. la the guy's. la the guy's. la the guy's. the guy's. the guy's. the guy's. the guy's. the guy's. the guy's. the guy's. the guy's. the guy's. the guy's. the guy's. He he he he he he he's. the guy's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's the guy's the guy's. He's the guy's. He's. He's the guy's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's the guy's the guy's. He's the guy's the stage. That's great. Do a John Madden for the seizure. I respect the fuck out of that. I go, is he gonna be okay? They go, oh yeah he's gonna be okay. I said, great. So everybody relax. Is he's gonna be okay? He goes, he's gonna be fine. I go, all right. This Irish guy, a Jewish guy and I go, they th. And they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're going, I'll they're going, I'll they're going, I'll they. I'll they. I'll they. I'll they. I'll they. I'll they. I'll they. I'll they. I'll they. I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll they. I'll they. I'll they. I'll they. I'll they. I'll they. I'll they. I'll they. I'll they. I'll they. I'll they. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll thooo. I'll thee. I'll thoo. I'll the. I'll thoo. I've seen this before, people trying to beat a check, then the paramedics, then the paramedics show up, then the paramedics show up, then the paramedics show up, and he'd go, was the guys act really that? I said, hey, I would have killed if you're doing to kill if you're doing to handle it. You're right. Totally. Being in beast mode at the comedy store when you're going to follow everybody who just fucking annihilates all the time.

Yeah. You've got to bring your A game every single time, man. It's just, you know. Dude. So, but yeah, during my week, so go on. I want to finish the Seinfeld story. Please do. Please do. Which is great. to finish. the th. I I I I I I I I finish. I finish. I finish. I finish. I finish. I finish. I finish. I finish. I finish. I finish. I finish. I finish. I finish. I finish. I finish. I finish. I finish. I finish. I will finish. I will finish. I will finish. I will finish. I will finish. I will finish. I will finish. I'll finish. I'll finish. I'll finish. I'll finish. I'll finish. I'll finish. I'll finish. I'll finish. I'll finish. I'll finish. I'll finish. I'll finish. I'll finish. I'll finish. I'll finish. I'll finish. I'll finish. I'll finish. I finish. I finish. I finish. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I will. I. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. coffee. Very late back, very chill. Very nice. You could talk to him and you know and then did a great job. But I had to want to take I got a picture with him which also you know Jonathan Katzmeier, the guy the guy is a big critic for the Las Vegas review. Yes, yes, yeah. Well, he clips that picture, runs it in his article. Wait, does the whole story about it. Oh, that's great. Yeah, and it was great. He was supposed to come by the next night, but he spent all day the next day. He was doing the comedians and cars getting coffee with Jerry Lewis, which I'm sure just wore him to fuck out. You know So the next night, guess what? Everybody's showing up thinking,

Seinfeld's going to be there, he doesn't make it. And it's John and Katz. I don't even have to say, I call him Jonathan Katz. But he's a big reviewer for Las Vegas Review. He shows up with Clint Higgs Holmes, who's like Las Vegas Rue. Hockey Bear for fucking Starski and Hutch. That's amazing. Star skiing and hutch fucking Huggie Bear come back to the room and I had a killer set on

fucking Wednesday and fucking Huggie Bear goes, hey man, Antonio Farns and like they couldn't believe I knew who they were like. Like because I knew Clint Holmes for 20 years ago. He used to open for Joe Rivers and Vegas. I mean he's like he's like fucking everybody. So I know what the dude was. I know I know I he. I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm fucking. I'm fucking. I'm fucking. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's up up up up. He's open. He's up up. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's open. He's goes, I know who you are, man. You're, you, I said, you're Hockey Bear. From that show about the Alaskan sled dog and the potato that solved crimes, Husky and starch. Yeah. I did that and he started fucking laughing. But anyway, I was just busting balls. But you love, I love it.

I hung out with the tongue. night you could have in Vegas. Like that kind of thing or in LA you know where where people come back to your show like that. Great dude. That's great dude. How was your week? You started to tell you I cut you off. I wanted to tell you that a couple things went crazy in my week but I had a great week the LA County Club is great. It's like a it's like a mini version of the O.R it's a nice dark. It's a nice. It's a nice. It's a nice. It's a nice. It's a nice. It's a nice. It's a nice. It's a nice. It's a nice. It's a nice. It's a nice. It's a nice. It's a nice. It's a nice. It's a nice. It's a nice. It's a nice. It's a nice. It's a to. It's a nice. It's a to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to you. to you. to you. to. to you. to. to. to. to. to. to. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. to. to. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. tod. tod. tod. today. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. people, man. They're good people. I'm very blessed. And they're great guys. I used to work for them back. They booked me about twice a year. I can't complain. We were packed almost every night except for one.

And they have, you know, they have a down night sometimes. Yeah. You know, man. Because it's just slow. . . Wednesday night was slow. Yeah, no, when Wednesday night was packed. They couldn't believe it. And then Thursday night, we had like 30, 40 people. They're like, yeah, it's slow. I'm like, dude. This is like a fine thing. I'm fine with it, you know. Yeah, but you know, you got a props to those guys. Those guys have been in a couple different casinos. They've hustled around. They had some, they've fallen on some they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're. They're they're th. They're th. They're th. They're like. They're like. They're like. They're like. They're like. They're like, they're like, they're like. They're like. They're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, th. They're like, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thirty. thirty. thirty. thirty thirty thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, like, th. But this room is their room, dude. This is their room. And it's really great.

And like they got, they do a show there. I remember doing a room when they were at the Four Queens at all Fremont Street. I did that room too. Yeah, I know it. I did that room too. Then I did the play in Hollywood. And they were really, dude, it's really great. They have a fun night, they have a fun show there, dude. And it's called The Stool, and it's where you go up

and you have to do new material. Oh, that's great. And it was packed, dude. And I was like, that's cool shit. People love that stuff. People love, like, it's like, I don't know if you ever done set list over at the UCB? No, I keep hitting them up to do set list and I would love, I was booked to do it and then I got unbooked some reason, I don't know, but you know, both events is a very cool cat.

I met him, we were both in this movie together. He's good, I really like it. Yeah, but it's a fucking love it dude. Yeah it's a great it's a great concept for a show anyway so so I'm doing it with Brand Tobler who's a great comic by the way Brant Tobler tells a story on stage about how him and his brothers tried to kill their father because he was a just total scumbag and I'm like is there a statute of limitations on attempted murder? Is there? I mean he's a comedian and like you know I'm joking you're like what he's gonna do?

He's a comedian he must be joking. I'm sure there's a little grain of truth and everything that there's always some truth in something but he was doing stand up and we were getting ready ready to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tr. true. true. true. the the. true. the the. tr. the the. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I. I. I. I... I..... I. I....... I. I... the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. in something. But he was doing stand-up and we were getting ready to go up and I think it was Saturday night. Saturday, no no no it was Friday night and the show was show room was packed and this black guy's just hanging out in front of the club and he's just hanging out and he's staring at the comics who are playing and he goes to Brandt he goes, he goes, excuse me sir, are you a comedian? And Brant goes, yeah, he goes, oh man, I've never met comedian before. I'd love to, I'd love to take a picture with you.

And I just, something about that, had my spider senses tingling. And I was like, why is this guy doing, like, that's weird. Like th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, I thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I, th, th, th, oh, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, than, than, than, than, than, than, than, than, than, than, than, than, than, than, than, than, than, than, weird like you you just want to take a picture with it Someone you've never met a comic before just sounded weird So I go in to see how the show's going because it's packed house flame throwing I come back out brand told us got like a book report in front of them I go do what's up he goes I just got served Some guy served him court papers why it was there. Dude, welcome to show business. Welcome. And that's not the first time that's ever happened. That's the second time this has happened to me. Tara Patrick was doing my show and she got

served papers. Why she was on stage. It's like, what a fucking asshole. You've got to be to serve papers why you're on why somebody's on stage performing well dude that's that's hilarious but that's the funny thing about being a performer they know where you're going to be to serve you yeah otherwise you're ducking at the house yeah can't be in the witness protection program oh it's the middle of march is there's a knock on my door, no one's trick or treating.

It must be somebody who's trying to serve me. You know, it happened to Tara Patrick too, she's doing a naughty show during Comic-Con. And this guy sat there, he's sitting the show he walks up to Tara Patrick, who's an angel, one of the nicest people you ever meet. Handsome, fucking court papers, you've been served and walked up. Like what a shitty job that is. Like I understand you gotta get, you know, you gotta pay the bills, but what a awful gig to ask me.

That's up there with like parking, enforcement and like tow truck driver. Now there's tow truck drivers who help people who, you're talking about the guys who clip your car out of a parking lot when no one's parking there anyway. And then charge you like $250 to get your car back. And then there's like, dude, fuck it, man, you fucking parked illegally. And they get so angry because they know what they're doing. is bullshit and it's eating at their soul and it just makes them angrier and when you do something you really don't love you know nobody grows up wanting to be the guy who toes cars just to make a dollar nobody does that you know you fall into a job and then you just you keep going going it's like these

cops at the fucking North Dakota for just beating the shit out of these Native Americans like dude who grows up wanting to be storm troopers man? Like you're literally a storm trooper. Who wants to fucking be that? And eventually it wears on you. Because when you start doing shit just for a check, it's your soul starts going out. As comedians, yeah we do some gigs, maybe we don't like. This guy came to my show which was very cool and he was like yeah dude I do cruises I think I can get you into some dirty cruises and I'm like okay how fucking totally would love to do that. I don't know if I could do a clean show it just it's not my

I don't need the money right now maybe there will come a time where I will and I might have to well you know I don't think. I the the thing. the thing. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I'm th. I don't thin. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't thin' I don't th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I can't thi. I can't thruse I can't thruse I can't th. I can't th. I can't th. I can't th. I can't th. I can't th. I can't th. I can't th. I can't th. I can't th. I can't th. I can't th. I can't thin. I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm thin. I'm thin. I'm th. I'm think I'm thin. I th. I theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee I theee I thin. I th. I th. I th. like that. I think I can work either way. I've done 40 minutes where you don't drop one F bomb, but it's not being clean or dirty They just don't want you to be offensive. Yeah, I think they'd say clean or dirty But yeah, that's what comes down to don't be offensive. Yeah, don't be so so you can work a little edgy. I mean, I'm an adult? I'm not gonna you know what I mean, I like I like like like like like like like like like like like like like like I like I like I like to to to to to they they they they they they they they they they they they they like they they they they they they they're like they they they they they they say I like they say I like they say I like they say I like they say I like they say I like they say I they say I they say I like they say I like they say I like they say I like they say I like they say I like they they they say I like they they say I like they they they say I like they say they say they say they say they say they say they say they say they say they say they say they say they say they say they say they say they say they say they say they say they say they say they say they say they say they say they say they say they say they say. I like they say they say. I like they say. I like they say they say. I like like they say they say. I like they say but it's like when you see these people in the audience, they get offended by something you say, is, wait a second, you can't control how you feel about something? Yes. So I'm gonna have to watch and ex- you know, my first amendment right to say whatever the fuck I want? I do a joke about how I, before the show, and I do this just to clip it. I do a joke about how all the comics in the back we pray to the comedy gods, we go, please comedy gods,

help us make white women over 40 laugh because that's the number one demographic. For wanting to talk to the management, they love, I just talk about how much, they love to the manager. Yeah, it's that yelpment, yip mentality, yip, yip, yip, that, that, that, that, that, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, th... thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th, thi, they, they, they, they, they, they, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, the, please, the, please, the, the, please, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they.. they. they. they. they. they. tttttttttttttttttttto, tttto, ttto, they. they. to, to, to, to, to, to, to,. They get that fucking hard nipples. And they get to, when you hear talk to the management, white women over 40s, pussy starts to fuck and just get damp at the thought. They practice talking the managers before they go to the show.

And it nips some shit because it lets them know it's like. Like, dude, to hurt a comic? Just stare at him. Don't give him anything. Don't even... Yeah, but you know, it's funny. I even have a trick around that. You know what I do? I just focus on the people in my audience that are laughing and have a good time. I try hard.

I glanced over those other people. I was talking women today. Today. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just a to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. I'm. I'm. I to to to to to to do. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I to to to to to th. I just just just. I th. I just just just just just th. I just the. I just the. I just the. I just the. tod. to tod. to to to to to to to to to to to to to the. lap dance, and then just played defense the whole time. Yeah, but you know it's funny, bro, that says more about them than it does about you. 100% you know, there they are projecting your, you know, who knows what happened in their lives that day. You know what I mean? I mean, that's why I. But you know, I do it, I do it the way that I can live with, you know. I can go either way. I can work really blue and dirty or I can go, I can go completely clean. You know, I can go, I did a whole hour clean. I just do more crowd work with the crowd. I did something old, something new. Something borrowed. Oh, I love me. Wait a minute. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I can go it th. I can go it th. I can go it th. I can go it th. I can go it th. I can go it th. I can go I can go I can go I can th. I can th. I can th. I can th. I can th. I can th. I can th. I can th. I can th. I can th. I can th. I can th. I can th. I can th. I th. I can th. I can th. I can th. I can go. I th. I can go th. I th. I the. I the. I the. I the. I can go the. I can go the. I can go go the. I can go go the. I can go th. I did something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue. Hey, wait a minute, hey, it's a comedy podcast, bro, we're in the middle of the

desert, we're about to get abducted by Elvis driving his head. And Big Fisted by Big Futs his co-pilot. Yeah, dude. 100%. Now, do you know that the, uh, you remember we passed the ZZIC? Yeah, you see the ZZIC, X X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, the, the, the, the, the, the, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the ZZIC, you see the ZZIC, the XXXX, YX? All that is, I talked about it, said the last podcast. Supposedly, you can only go so far down that street before you get stopped by military, because there is this notion that there's something mystical that way, like very powerful, mystical energy. Well, you think they'd let us podcast from the edge of it? Maybe you should we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just they they th th th th th th thi thi thus thus, thus, th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th th th th th th th thi thi thi that that that that that that toge toge toge, toge, toge, I toge, I the. I that that that th let us podcast from the edge of it? Yeah. Maybe you should just stare at it and just like do some weird shit. Like some weird stranger things going on.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we talked a lot about politics, man. And, you know, Jimmy Schubert, you and I are kind of on the same thing. You're a libertarian. You and I thi. more open mind to see what could happen with Trump. Well, look, man, I mean, we had an election. I mean, well, here's the thing. Look, that's what we do in this country.

We elect the Democrat for eight years, we've read the Republican for eight years. Now, people may have not have, like, you know, and I'm talking about the low information people that don't want to watch a guy like, you know, Trevor Noah jump up on a soapbox and do their critical question and do their critical thinking for them rather than do an investigative and finding out for themselves. It's like, look, I go, I mean, what did Trump do? I mean, certainly, I don't know what he did.

No, no, no. They overshot their load on are now numb to it. They don't care. They really don't care. Exactly. Apparently they haven't heard about the story about the boy who cried wolf. It's like, look, if you keep saying all this stuff and none of it turns out to be true, then I'm not going to believe you, next time you actually have something important to say you actually lost the ability to cover the, cover the the the administration, cover, cover, cover, cover, cover, cover, cover administration, cover, cover, cover, cover administration, cover administration, cover, cover, cover, cover, cover, cover, cover, the administration, the administration, cover, the administration, cover, cover, cover, cover, cover, the, the, cover, cover, the, the, cover, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the they.o, they.o, they.o, they.o, they. they. they. they. they. the, the, the, the, the, the, Lemon cries himself to sleep at night on CNN? Just because he's such a fucking, sold his soul for a fucking job in which he does propaganda for some bad fucking people? I mean, I really do. Like, nobody likes.

Imagine being in a position where nobody likes you. And you know, your ratings, you're the face of something where your ratings are just down in the shit. Nobody watches CNN. Their podcasts get bigger, fucking numbers, tube, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their, their, their, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, so their, so their, so their, so their, so their, so their, so their, so their, their, their, their, their, their, their, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, soo, soliplipole, solipole, solipole, solipole, solipole, sol, sol, sol, tho, tho, tho ratings are just down in the shit. Nobody watches CNN. Their podcasts get bigger fucking numbers, dude. Let me ask you, what's your thoughts about the fact that a lot, with the exception of Bill Maher, most of your political comedy shows are from foreigners. Most of the US...

Yeah, what's right there is a slap in my face. It's like, you know what, don't come here bitching to me about how bad fucking America is when you don't live in your own country because it's so fucking shitty, you know? Yeah, I mean, you know. It's just an interesting statement. I personally think, I'm nothing against Trevor Noah.

I've done. they done. You're over here bitching about America. It's like, look at your country, a fucking guy with no leg shot a supermodel. You're the last person to be bitching. Yeah, you could probably go back to your country and probably get a talk show in your country on the comedy channel in South Africa. Yeah, that's why he got it But my personal opinion is and I love I love the people on the show that there's two friends of mine Roywood juniors on and he's doing a great job and I want him to do great It's just yeah, I think Trevor Noah got the job because they wanted to kill that brand because they want to kill that the today the tod the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tea tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. their their their their their their their their their their their the Daily Show was so powerful and that people were getting their news from the Daily Show that they wanted to kill off the brand. Well that's an interest that's an interesting point. It was too powerful. But that but that show also launched a network. I mean why would you fucking kill the

gold goose that laid the golden eggs? Because that's was people's people's news source they stopped late and all it was doing was just ripping us, ripping conservatives. Yeah, but nobody. That's why John Stewart stepped down because he started to realize that it's all bullshit. That there's no good or, you know, it's not ours and D's. It's all bullshit. No, it's not ours and D's.

There's a difference between Coke zero and Diet Coke, bro. Yeah, it really is. I mean, you know, I'm done with all the smooth the s s smooth the s smooth the s smooth the s smooth the s smooth the s smooth the s smooth the s smooth the s smooth the s smooth the the the the the the the the difference is the difference is the difference is the difference is the difference is the difference is the difference is the difference is the difference is the difference is the difference is the difference is th. It's th. It's th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thian. thian. th. th. th. th. It's is th. It's is th. It's is th. It's is th. It's is th. It's is th. It's is th. It's is th. It's is th. It's is th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's thi. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. It's th know, I'm done with all the smooth talking politicians. I don't give a shit. Go do what the fuck you said you were going to do. And then, I know, for once in my lifetime, I can watch a guy actually go do what he said he was going to do. And whether you agree with him politically or not. You brought up a great point about how he kind of, you know, has destroyed the Democratic Party. I mean, the DMCccecece. Well, dude. Well, the Dancc. Well, the D. the D. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I, thi. I, thi. I'm, thi. I'm, thi. I'm, thi. I'm, thi. I'm, thi. I'm, thi. I'm, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, I, I, I. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm to to to to to toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. th. I mean the DMC's he eviscerated the Republicans first like a fucking hot knife through butter all 17 candidates and if you watch what he did he did it by branding everybody else not branding himself yeah it's Lion Ted it's Little Marco it's crooked Hittery it's low energy Jeb he was he was branding everybody

he was like he was like he was like King Lear meets Rodney Dangerfield he was just sitting there and he was just sitting there and he and he and he and he the there and he the the the he and he he he he he he he he he the he he he the he he he the the he the he the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th he was the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th. he was just th. he was just th. he was the theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. he was th. th. the. the. th. th. He was the. He was like he was like King Lear meets Rodney Dangerfield. Yeah He was just sitting there and he was hilarious Chuck Schumer's crying and it's a mean bill And he goes yeah, give me the number of Chuck Schumer's acting coach all right because I know Chuck. He's not a cryer. Dude, I laugh so hard that. I thought that was the funniest thing. He's not. He doesn't play by the rules that he doesn't people like that people you know They try to want honesty dude not just like go you know people don't people want real Politicians who are people and not politicians which is this go around suck off everybody plays fucking together, you know, and it's just theater and it's like I've said before it's pro wrestling and it's just like I think they fucking try to ne cap trump truu tru tru tru tru tru tru tru tru tru tru tru tru tru tru tru tru. tru. tru. tru. tru. tru. tru. tru. tru. to to to to to to to to to the the their. to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the th. th. th. the. the. the. tttttttttttttttttttttttry. tru. th. th. th, I think they fucking try to kneecap Trump so much, so much that they fucking, that now it's like people are over it. And I don't know if that was done on purpose or not, but man, it's about. I gotta tell you, I think Trump, I mean, there public persona of Trump, which was great. And then there's the guy inside Donald Trump operating the public persona.

And that guy inside Trump happens to be a freaking genius, because he sucks up all the oxygen. Even when they're talking bad about him, they're still talking about him. And Donald Trump's one of those guys who realizes there's no bad such thing as bad publicity. As he said, the hell is I going to be, I spell my name right. T-U-R-M-P, and people bought into it. And he played the media like a secondhand fiddle. And he treated them like the fucking liberal henchman that they are. And they, and he fucking tricked them and did side fakes on them. And they fell and bit every time.

Because it's what watching the media is like watching a like watching a like watching a bunch a bunch a bunch a bunch a bunch a bunch a bunch. The one kid hits it, the whole fucking infield runs after the ball. They all catch up with it and there's nobody to relay the story or tell the story or do any follow-up. They're otherwise, you know what? Nobody's doing any of that Woodward and Bernstein shoe leather out there, beating the sidewalk, reporting, get tracking down leads. Like, like deep throat when they broke the Watergate story on Nixon. Well, yeah there, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, there, there, there, there, there, the, their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, tho, their, their, tho, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their th. And, tho, their tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thooooooooooooooomooomorrow, thoooooooooooom, their, their, their, their, their, their, throat when they broke the Watergate story on Nixon. Well yeah, but back then they did. Yeah, they did.

Back then they did. If Watergate happened today, they would fucking, nothing would happen to Nixon and they would blame everything on the security guard who fucking caught them. That's what would happen. Yeah, well, but again, but you know, there's people out there that that you know Look you want to make a difference in the world. Go feed Homeless people man go read the sick kids and they go go to an old age home and visit with some old people just for the reason Because because you want to make a difference in world do shit like that. Okay, you put on fucking fucking pussy hats that some fucking. th girl and China had to sew for fucking

18 hours to our fingers bled so you could wear your stupid pink hat and make a dumb fucking thing you go do that fucking million woman watch in any other country they turn the fire hoses on you and it turns into the world's largest wet tee shirt contest you know I'm with you know I mean I mean, you know, my pussy, my choice, my pussy, my, well great, you could kill your fucking baby. But you ever notice everybody's for abortion has already been born? You know, look, look, here's the thing, taking it for somebody who doesn't have a uterus. You get two, okay? You get two, okay? But if you're 28 and you had five, nobody's gonna fuck that haunted house of a pussy of yours th's so funny, dude. I do believe that, I do believe, you know it's really weird dude?

It's that I met porn stars who were like pro-life. It's so weird, like, I was at the AVNs, and there was a bunch of porn stars who described themselves as like conservative, like to the point where it's just like... Yeah, but you know why though? And maybe we had to touch on this the other day when we were having a dinner, but it was like, you know, attractive women are almost always conservative and lean that way because attractive women

can attract a great mate who can provide for her and take care of her and they can create beautiful babies. It's always like the ugly ones look like it get hit in the head with a bag of fucking nickels, looked like she's got a blanket stuffed down the front of her fucking pants, looks like a fucking vagumic, right? They're the ones who always rely heavily on the state and the federal government to pay for my fucking abortions, to pay for my fucking, you know, right? Because attractive women can always, they can always fucking thin. And they're the the tract-I th. that at that, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, th. th. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, the, the, the, the, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they. look, they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. their, their, their, their, that. And I never heard that put that way before, but it's interesting. And I'm sure, I don't know if you have a lot of women, but you know what, dude, I heard this. I mean a lot of women who are like,

I'm pro women, I'm not necessarily feminist, because it's been an overreach, dude. It's just been an overreach, dude. Let me just give you this quote. Okay, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going, I'm just, I'm going, I'm going, I'm th. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I, I'm, I'm, I'm th, I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. th th thi, I'm th th th thi, I mean, I'm th th thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm going to give you this quote. All right, and this comes from somebody I've been reading a lot. I think she's great This is from Camille Paglia You know she is? No, Camille Paglia. She writes for a she's a she's been a great writer. She does like political pieces, but yeah, this is a quote from her she said men have sacrificed and crippled themselves physically and emotionally to feed house and protect women and children none of their pain or achievement is registered in the

feminist rhetoric which portrays men as oppressive and callous exploiters dude I read that and said, oh my God, that's it. She hit it on the fucking screws with that. Yeah. She hit it on the fucking screws with that. Because that's what you're feeling, that's what I'll feel. I mean, you know, dude, it's like you live in America. What's your fucking problem? I agree. It's just it's ridiculous. You're fucking garbage disposal leads better than tha. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thine, thine, thine, th. th. thine, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi's thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. I's, thi. I's, thi. I's, thi. thi. thi. th garbage disposal It's better than 40% of the people in the free world You got running fucking drinking water and tap water You you can go fucking find a job

You can go on the internet and learn whatever the fuck you want to learn you're gonna only held back by your own limits by your own powers the own limitations. I, you could do anything you want in the world. Dude, we're doing a podcast to 55 miles an hour, getting chased by a UFO that fucking Elvis is driving with Bigfoot, bro. You could do anything. The great example is a human dumpster fire of Leah Dunham who was complaining that O'Dell Beckham was sexist because he didn't give her the time of day when they were at an event

together. It's like, you're a dumpster fire. And I wouldn't say that just because of how she looks, you know, I would just like over and over again they find like she's like she did like stuff about safe environment for women on campuses when she admits that she claimed fake false rape against the guy and could have rude his life. She's fucking delusional first off bro look Lodell's back those fucks nine's and tens dude yeah but great I'm gonna say that probably as accurate but listen here's the thing it's like you know you know you save spaces the fucking world doesn't operate like that.

No, it's not real. There's no real. You want to get kids fucking trophies? Failure as every bit of part of success as fucking success is. You've got to fail. You don't become a millionaire unless you file bankruptcy. Unless you fight two times. Yeah, fuck yeah. I do a joke about this where it's like, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, th................. to th. to th. to th. to to to th.. to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the's like you ever did you the joke goes that you ever seen the Facebook video

from Planet Earth. It's good. It's a series called Planet Earth and it's about how baby lizards get born and they take one breath of air and then they just fucking run because fucking pipers are coming down to eat them and they there's no safe space there's no time out there's no anti bullying is run or fucking die. And that th. And th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi th. You th th th th th th th th their their their their their their their their their th. th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the thi the the the the the the the the the thi the the thi thi the thi to eat them and they there's no safe space. There's no time out. There's no anti-bullying is run or fucking die and that is adulthood. If you get fuck you leave the nest you better fucking run home boy. I left the nest when I was 18. Yeah. Dude, when I was running right. Dude, it's so funny. The last time I went back my folks came to the airport and picked me up. And my mom goes, you just turned 18 and you just left and never came back. And I said, you know what, mom? I'd sound sad, but I have to tell you. You know why I did? Because you instilled enough confidence in me to believe that I could go do whatever it is I wanted to do in my life. 100%% it was up to me to do it. And I. And I. And I. And I. And I. And I. And I I I I to do. And I to do it. And I to do it. And I to do it. to do it. to do it. to do it. to do it. to do it. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I the. I have the. I have the. I have the. I have tell. I have tell tell tell me the the. I have the. I have to say I have to say I have to say I have to say I have to say I have now, you know, freaking dude, I've been making my living for a long time, making people laugh.

Dude, you are a, alone in itself is a kid. At the end of day, you are a professional comedian dog. And that is, that's the prize, man. That is the gift, that is the love, that you have worked your ass off enough. Yeah. And I get to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thk, th work, the tho, tho, to work, to work, to work, to work, to work, to work, to work, to work, to work, their, their, the tho, tho, thoan, thoan, thoanoanoanoanomenk, thoanathea, thoan, thoan, thoan, thoan, thoan, thoanate, thoan, thoan, thoan, thoan, thoan, thoan, thoan, than, than, tho, than, tho, tho, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thto, they let me act once in a while, which is awesome, which is another way to be creative. I get to do podcast, I get to hang out with my buddies, I get to do all kinds of creative shit, right?

Jedi Hanas? Did they just name a restaurant? I just saw a billboard? Jedi Hanas? Jedi Hanas? Like Benny. . . came through I told you we got the giant alien doing fucking teriyaki on our

buttholes too that's what this area is you're gonna get shish kebabbob asshole you're gonna turn your bossle don't take us off the road into a ditch bro that's hilarious jenaihanas you walk in a guy holds up a flipper with three fingers on it. How many of your party? Five? Oh, this guy must be used to cook here. At Jedi Hanna.

Someone took off three of his digits with a lightsaber when he was trying to make some fuchildhops. They always loved the probe, fucking idiots. That's why I knows about aliens. Well you know why bro this is a great book out I want to talk to you about this. There's a great book out called the day the day after Roswell and it was written by Lieutenant Colonel Rick Corso who was in the Air Force he was an intelligence officer who let it was his he got he went with the load to bring back the alien body with all the fucking spacecraft yes technology and then he got what he called the nut file and he he the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. thoes the the thoes the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the back the alien body with all the fucking spacecraft and the technology.

And then he got what he called the nut file. And a friend of mine was reading this book and he said, I have to, I guess I can't finish reading it. It's too scary. I said, give me the book. What's the book called? It's day after. Okay. the nut file because if I told anybody else about this they thought I was a nut. And if you look at it, it all matches up. That was 1947, but all the technology in the cell phone was reverse engineered off that spacecraft that crashed in Roswell. Do you look at the computing industry in 1962, they had a computer,

they had a computer with vacuum tubes on it with little light bulbs. It was a giant fucking adding machine. the together. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the the the the thathea, thi. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. That. It, the the the th. It, th. It, th. And, th. And, thi. And, together. And, together. And, together. And, together. And, together, together, together, together, together, together, together, together, together, together, together, together, they. I's, they. And, they. And, they. fucking release this technology. Ten years later, you got the Commodore 64, which was down and could fit on the size of a desk. And from there, it's gotten faster and more powerful by the minute. But all that technology is stuff. He talks about a story where he goes into Bell South. He goes, they're working on night vision goggles. But it's just dome-like thi. And goes I'm stopping by I'm gonna help you you guys are doing a little research I'm just gonna give you this you can find out about incorporate you know a couple years later you get the monogoggle that comes

down so you could see in the dark other from this thing so and I think I think aliens have been interfering with a revolution for thousands of years. I mean that's just the way I feel. It's just because you look at your television, look that digital marvel. You can order a sandwich off it, you can update your Facebook status and tweet from it. It's a 4K. The human eye can't even process all the visual information in a 4K image and you're showing me the fucking Kardash. You know, what I mean? That's like two different fucking conspiracies. That is that's, they. they. That's, they. That's, they. That's, thi. That's, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, it's like, thi, thi, their, thi, thi, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's their, you's their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thr-a's a thr-a' is a thr-a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a, thi, then there's also Satan worshiping which everybody thinks that the cardasians are all into dude that they're fucking crazy dog Okay, well, I don't I don't I don't want to anyway anyway anyway to be able to argue it except I've never seen a single fucking episode You know I get no I don't really even watch it either occasionally it was all I could beat off to when I was on the road. You ever had that word like, oh, the best I got is saved by the bell.

I got a fucking pick and choose when I'm gonna fucking pull this fucking dick. Oh, Jesus, bro, sometimes. That's hilarious. That's funny. So yeah, there's this whole thing about the alien. and this whole thing that you know that look at it look at it look look at it like people look like you know like we get a hold of it and people to take pictures of their genitals and send it to each other yes it's a phone with a camera in it because everybody fucking relax does everything we got to be

do got to be digitally archives so future generations can look on our on the digital archive go what a bunch of fucking assholes they they took th th th th th th th th took took took took th took took th took th th th they th th th they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're to to to to to took took to took to to took to took to to took to took to to to they're they're they're they're they're they're they bunch of fucking assholes. They took pictures of their food. And then they complained about restaurants. These chicks, now they're having kids, these children, there's a good chance that your mother had to train ran on her by somebody. Just like five dudes went congline on that snatch. And it's just like, that's where things are because of porn, the proliferation of pornography and all this shit, these girls just they don't give a fuck man.

And you know, and you know what's the funny thing is, and I know you know what you'd like to talk about porn, but I don't watch it anymore. I quit watching it too. You know why? Because your mind can't unsee those. the pornography is degrading towards women. I go, well then tell women to stop showing up and doing it. Because it doesn't see any shortage of that. Otherwise, you just got nine guys standing around with hard-ons. And then one's going to fucking watch that. Who the fuck thu's going to watch that? No, but do you think they should go the fuck? I'm the tho' their fuck. thin, you's, you's, you's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's their, who's their, who's going, who's their, who's their, who's going, who's their, who's their, who's their, who's their, who's their, who's their, who's their, who's going, who's going, who's going, who's their, who's their, who's their, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's their, who's their, who's their, who's their, who's their, who's their, who's their, who's their, who's their, who's their, who's going, who's going, who's going, who's going, who's going, who's going, who's going, who's going, who's going, who's going, who's going, who's I guess I don't know it's like it's like fucking capitalism there's supply and there's demand I'm a guy I got like you know Carlin bit selling's legal

fucking's legal why can't selling fucking be legal that's true it's like George Carlin that's not too bad right yeah yeah that's great I was a good carlon at the comedy store and it was so crazy to watch the Master, but it was nuts because he stood, it was the thing that stood to me, how he stood the whole way at the back of the main room stage, all the way in the back, right before the curtains come down. Yeah, so everybody could see him. It was great. No, but that's interesting because everybody can see them. Dude, you just hit me to something. That's great.

That's, try playing the main room like that. Try playing all the way to the back? No, yeah. Sit back there before him. Everybody walks out. Why don't you stay back and play it that way everybody can see you? Yeah? I'm down with through what this right here is California inspection. It's a fruit inspection station. So they're inspecting for so we got fruit

patrol stopping Chiquita banana lady from getting into California and just committing terrorism. Yeah no but it's so funny but there's nobody there we just trove through it. You want to the fucking pineapple up your ass? I had Brian Holtzman and Don Barris with me. We were doing a gig. In Lake Havasu, and I fucking pulled in, he goes, you got any fruit and vegetables in there? I said, yeah, this guy like a legend at the comedy store. What's your thoughts on?

He says, I love Brian, man. I love Brian Holtzman. I think he's, you know what it's appealing about Brian? Yeah. It's dangerous. You never know what he's going to say. to say know he's he's got you know got got his act together and he's and he's trying but

look he's right this is a fucking tough thing to do to do it's a tough thing to do really you know so but but but but I love I love him I love watching Joey Dars like like like I love I love watching Joey Deers, I love watching you in your main room sets. You're fucking cock suck. Dude, what you do, when you do the karate kick, bro, I know you haven't done that in a while. But he used to use a lovely karate kick, the mic stand and all that stuff. Dude, I love that stuff. Because, you know, it's like even Sebastian, when you get to, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when you do, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you do, you do, you do, you do, you do, you do, you do, you do, you do, you do, you do, you do, you do, you do, you do, you do, you do, you do, you do, you do, you do, you do, you do, you do, you do, when, when, you do, when, when, but you get to watch these guys grow as performers you know this guy's got it this guys got it this guys got it you know you go Sebastian knew who he was from the very start dude and I always talked to Sebastian even you know even before like you know he was just it was this hilarious

you know he had that Chicago accent yeah he was very yeah he knew what he was he was trying to do so right to tho's he he he he he he he he he he he he he the the the the the the the the the the the th the th th th the th th th th th the the th to to to to to to to to to the the the to to to to to to to to to to th he the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th the the th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi the thi the thi thi th knew what he was trying to do, so. Kudos to him, and he did it. Yeah, he do. I mean, he got picked up very early by Dice, and Dice took him on the road forever. And he just learned. He just learned, and he was always grinding, you know? Gotta grind, broo fucking grind home, boy. And that's kind of what I love doing.

I love doing stand-up where I stand up, my YouTube page, this podcast, all the podcast that I do. I love doing all of it, man. Yeah, I would love, like, you know, it's so funny, because I'd love to have that career. You do sitcoms and you go out and do stand-up whatever you want. Yeah. And you know, you make the, you know, you made you, you know, you made your, you know, nine years on a hit TV show that was on a major network. Back in the golden, back, yeah, then he was in another show. But I mean the golden age, you're getting ready to do another one for C. Bn't for C. But for C. But for C. But for C. But, the to. But, to. But, the to. And to. And the to. And then, the to. And then, the to. And then, the to. Yeah, the to. Yeah, to. Yeah, to. to. to. to make. Yeah, you're the the the to make. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. thin, you. thin, you thin, you thin, you made. t. t. t. ti. ti. ti. t. toda. ti. ti. t. t. t. t. th. probably still getting residual checks for $100,000 in the mail and being able to go out and do stand-up comedy on the side and run your own club and take care of comedians and put a lot of work

in comedians pockets and you go up there two two times a week you go up there, you know, I mean just, it's just great man. Yeah, look, Seinfeld still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still stilleld's still doing it. You know, one thing I do notice is that even guys like Tim Allen go back to doing it. Drew Carey goes back to doing it. It's so amazing that even after you've made millions of dollars doing it, you still want to do it. You know what I mean? Like, some guy's like Anthony Clark. He's got all his money in the world and he's just done. You know what I I I I th just don't But I just find that like, I just don't know why people stop doing it.

Like, Tom Green is a wonderful guy. He's great. He didn't do stand-up forever after his fucking, you know, when he had that big burst. It's like, that guy should have been doing comedy right out the gate. Like Steve O. Steeveh's a good, he's a, he's, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. to thi. to to to to to to to to, to to to to to to to to to to to to ththat guy, as soon as they stop doing those movies, he's in doing stand-up, and now he's like five, six, seven years into it, and he's getting better and better and better. And that guy's grinded.

I've heard that, yeah. He's learned, yeah, never had a chance, never had a chance to meet him. But I mean, you know, he went from that, movies were fucking funny. Hilarious, dude, hilarious. They're fucking- I don't know watching it with my nephew, and I was falling off the couch, dude. I was falling off the couch. Yeah, dude, I mean that shit, where I mean, that's Johnny Knoxville. When he did that movie, where he was posing as a special Olympian, and he went to confess to the priest, and he gets punched in the priests, tho, tho, tho, tho, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thi, thee, tho, I, I, I, I, I, I was, I was, the the, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I, I, I was, I, I, I was, I, I, I was, I, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, thin, was, thin, was, was thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho-s, tho-s, tho-s, tho-s, tho-a, tho-hea, was fa, was tho to the screen and the priest froze about a church.

I mean, dude, that movie should have been way bigger than it was. Oh, dude. Funny. But whenever you talk about mentally handicapped people, people get sensitive. I always say mentally uncumbered. Right? It's special. The word retarded is about assholes. Someone's retarded. They're being an assu-sle. Yeah, so special needs. I mean, I, I, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's th. It's th. It's thi, it's thi, it's thi, I, I, I mean, thi, I, I, I, I should, I should, I should, I, I should, I should, I should, I mean, I mean, I should, I should. That's, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. That, I. That, I. That, I. That, it, it, it. That. That's, it. That, it. That's. It. It's............................................. It's... It's... That's... It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. It's retarded. They're being an asshole. Yeah, so with special needs. But I mean now special needs is like it's not the same thing. They usually lump it all together, but it's not all together. There's autism and people on different sides of the autism spectrum. And it's different. Everybody has different needs. But so yeah. Nobody's

making fun of that. I start wearing glasses on stage because I'm losing my eyesight and I get pounded on by everybody on the internet. They're like, nice gimmick dude. My gimmick, my hook? I'm blind, fuckface. This isn't a hook. Who's trying to be the blind guy on stage? Yeah, you think I want to wear glasses? You don't want a hook, here's what you do.

You get contacts and actually draw glasses on your head and go out and perform that way. Yeah, you could... Well, if I did my whole set doing the weird French guy up, upside down, fuck. You know what I love? I love guys who got a fucking come out with a weird hairstyle. Yes. You know, that whole thing. It's like, just do the fucking jokes. Dude, I'm'm not talking like Caratops got a little bit of a

fucking do on them you know a short time at the comedy store I don't know if you're there there was a guy who called himself the Polly Shore of Germany and he had this long long he had this like this white kid and I was like two feet high it was so fucking he lasted about two the the the the the the th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. He's th. th. I was th. I was liked. I was liked. I'm just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just. th. th. th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's liked. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm liked. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm like like a th. I'm. I'm. I'm. th. I'm. I'm like. I'm so fucking, he lasted about two weeks. Yeah. And then he went back to Germany. Now he's doing scatporn or some shit like that. Now he's like a cock for drug money out there in the fucking Munich. Funcher, Frischer Frischer. From the Flusses, he's doing, he's doing, he's in a fucking improv group,

called the fucking, called the Bratwurst. I wonder if you said, if they ever have live sex improv. Give me an orifice to fuck. Can I get an office for us to do porn in? Give me an orifice the fuck? Can I get a hold? Can I get a hold? Can't you get a hold? Can't get an office for us to do porn in? That'd be so funny, dude. That'd be so... I used to do a joke about that. I go, some of those porn stars are married. That's got to be weird. You know, you see your, you see your mate pulling into the driveway with aut day of the orifice is that funny enough to do on stage is that too funny is that too funny is that too funny no it's great it's great

it's great I laughed at it's great dude about how like my friend Caleb Page is really was cool she retired from doing porn but it's like the fine line between porn and prostitution like cops show up hey are you doing prostitution you guys gotta throw a camera up no we're artists we're shooting porn right now yeah we're making a movie but you know that you know and between me and you and everybody listed but the term porn star gets thrown around an awful lot today yeah yeah you're not a star I don't see the it it factor the it factor the the the it th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the te te te te toy te te toy te toy they they the the the the the the the the the the the the thrown around an awful lot today. You're not a star. I don't see the it quality. I don't see the it factor happen over here. You're just somebody who makes bad decisions. You take your clothes off and let strangers fuck

you and let other people film it. Okay? That does not make you a star. Okay? Hey, nah, dude. But some of them are business people. They're just as sick and twisted as comedians. Yeah, bro. But, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thoo- tho-a, tho-a, thin, their thin' their their, their their their their their their, their their their their their, their, their their their, their their their their their, their their their their, their, their their their, their their their their their their, their thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thin, thoooooooooooooooomoomorou, th thoooooooooooooom. tha. the. thi. thi. th They're just as sick and twisted as comedians. Yeah, but you know what the other thing is? Like, dude, I mean, that's, do you think guys could do that guy? You think guys could just take off the clothes and like, dude, there's gotta be dudes in porn. Yeah, I know. That's why you should like, your daughter to do the gig, but it is a, it's just like, there's a one guy, he like has all the top porn stars, he drug

test them, you know, to make sure they're not doing drugs. And some of them are just broken toys, some of that's just comics man it is a fucking weird gig I not say I always I say comedians are like strippers in a sense that we we stand up there we undress mentally mentally. My problem is with with these girls like I've always wanted to go to business school and learn how to how even though I hate Wall Street I don't want to participate in that part of capitalism but I always thought man go to business school learn how Wall Street works I don't want to participate in that part of capitalism, but I always thought man go to business school Learn how Wall Street works and just be an investor for these fucking strippers and these porn stars who make fat cash

Cash, you know the porn industry? A very statistic or recently that the porno industry makes more money than concerts movies television, and sporting events combined. Yeah, dude. Young guys love watching girls get fucked and it's just like, the problem is these girls. You know what the problem is, bro, is it's unhealthy for them. It's really unhealthy. It fucking warps your sensibilities. Well, 100% and I got news for you. A lot of these porn stars are drug addicts. They turn to drugs. They can't live

with themselves. They're disappointed their mom and their dad and they're out there doing this. And it's like, what do we do to make you think that this was okay to make you live? We want to you were. You know, you know, I mean, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, I, I, I, the, I, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they, they, they, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they it's just kind of it's kind of Jesus apply yourself a little bit no no and the some dude I get it's not profession 100% but you know it's also like coal mining it's not good for you but it's a fucking way to pay your bills I'm not going to say it's 100% you know like positive and it's the great thing ever but it is a gig, it is a business, there's a, the key is to fucking take the money you make and invest it correctly so you don't have to do it forever.

Yeah, you know, that's my whole thing. It's just like, invest it, man. It's not the perfect gig or the greatest gig, but it is a gig. And like people like, like being the NFL's real, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, the, the, the, the, th.... th. th. the, the, th. the, th. the, th. the, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, it's like being in the NFL, real quick. Most of these girls, dude, come from trailers, man. They're not the smith. They don't come from the best homes. They don't, and if some of them can somehow put it together to make a lot of money, and they could find themselves, get themselves a little money,

a little money to, a little a little a little almost Nesstake that they can maybe become a real estate Well, you mean springboard into a legitimate business. Yes Where you invest your money? Yeah, and then you could start a clothing line or something on never go Most of them would probably the difference between But do them and I'm working at a fucking a 7 11 or McDonald's and God bless you if you do that, but you know? But you know, they look at the NBA. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th? the th? th? th th? that? th that? thus. th tho tho they's they's that. that. they're they're they're they're to to to to to to to to to to to to to to they's they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they. they're they. they. they. they. they're they're they. they. they. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. to to toe. they're the- Well, dude, look at the NBA. These guys retire out of the NBA. Three years after getting out of the NBA and making millions of dollars. They're all broke.

They're all broke. Yeah. It's the same with them. I mean, you're only going to get to play. If you're lucky, 9, football career is three years. Here's something you trained your whole life to fucking play. Put your body through 52 car accidents on a fucking Sunday. You've done damage to your body. You probably got damage to your brain and you're only going to play the game for three or four years professionally. So I don't blame NFL stars for fucking holding out for more cash because it's the same thing. No, I agree. I mean it's the same th thing th thing th thing th thing th thing th thing th thing th thing th thing th thing th thing th thing th th th th th thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the thi. thi. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. th. th. thi. the. theat. theat. theat. theat. theat. thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. th. the same thing. No, I agree. It's the same thing with anybody.

I mean, it's the same thing with this. I want to be doing telling dick jokes when I'm fucking 80? No fucking Rickles? I think Rickles loves it though, dude. Yeah, of course he loves it because it pumps to his fucking b- young. That's what's kept them young young young young young youngthose other people are gone. Joe Rivers has gone, Carson's gone, they're all fucking gone. Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra, Sammy, all those people from that era.

Bob Hope, you know, Jack Benny, he's still fucking hanging and banging, man. Hanging and banging, man. Hanging and banging home, boy, that's what this podcast can be called. He's rocking out with his ball out. He's falling out with his ball out. Yeah. He's jamming out with his clam out. I'm with you, dude.

I'm with you, dude. Nothing, you know. You know, it's so interesting with this podcast, man. This feed is safe space, which I tend to do rant podcasts. But lately I've had some great interviews like I had the the the guys who produced Dying Laughing, and then the week before that, I had my dad on. So I got to interview some great people. That's awesome, dude. Yeah, that was a lot of fun. There you go. It's a lot of fun, man. It's a lot of fun. Well, you know, dude. Here we are. We just got done doing seven days in Las Vegas, their life is good. the casino. We're, we we were, we were, we, we, we, we, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, I've th, I got the, I've the, I've the, I've the, I've the, I've the, I the the, I the the, I the, I the the, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I've th. that, I've that, I've that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, the the that, the that, I've the that, I that, I. You know, we're heading back to freaking, you know, I get to hung out, I get to meet

Jerry Seinfeld and hang out with Brad Garrett for a week. I get to do the shows. I know a lot. I feel like. Dude, he's a, you talk about a guy who gets it, monster businessman. Jerry Seinfeld, he's a monster businessman. He was actually very wealthy. Seinfeld put him on a whole other level like the kind of wealth that his grandkids will be wealthy will feel you know I mean like his grandkids kids each his grandkids kids will feel the wealth yeah that Jerry that Jerry is

accumulated over his lifetime one hundred smart and and he's just you do this look look what you know look at these guys like this that lay the template down look at Larry the cable guy oh we're looking right now for in an where is that this this he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th the the the the the the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the template down. Look at Larry the Cable Guy. Oh, we're looking right now for... In an Outburg? Where? Is that over there? Right there. Okay, dude.

You see how I grab this shit, dude? Do you see how I did that, man? Bro, and we're not even going to stop podcasting as we like, what the fuck? I think it's near. I think it's near. Yeah. That was my Carlin. That was my impersonation of you doing, Carlin. Yeah.

I want to know. Yes. Dude, what are we rocking eat it. I'll get the hanging and banging special. Dude, we're banging. We're banging. Fanging, bro. I'll get the hanging and banging special. What's that?

That's where you have, if I can walk the bull past the fire, knock it's the torn's off, wipe its ass and put it on some bread and out. That's what our hamburger is all about. Dude, it's like all of a sudden they're sponsoring the podcast probably. How about how big is that? Are we going to keep podcast as we go through the drive-thru on the in and out burger? Yes, man, we're going to. People are going to get jelly. Guys, congratulations you're on one of the top podcasts in the world. In and out.

Do you think IHOP wants to fight Denny's? Look how close they are. You think they're in war? Oh, dude. It's like, it's so funny. That's the kind somebody, I see movement. I see movement. Dude, did we actually find an in and out that's half empty? Oh dude.

Dude, what is this? What is this? Walk in here. I said, oh, in and out, in and out. Okay, let's see. There's people in there. There's people fucking in there. Oh dude! Dude, guys ordering. We had the Unabomber. I see a guy looking like a Unabomber. What?

What's just happened there? I don't know, but we're going through the drive-through, right? Is it open the drive? Oh, I gotta go, I gotta do this weird kind of a thing around, okay? the thinks, thuuuuuuu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, what's thu, what's thu, what's thu, what's the the thu, what's thu, what's the the the the the the the unibu, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's thrown... thrown. thrown. thrown. they. they. they. the they-a, what's they-a, what's it's they-a, what's it's just, what's they-a, what's they-a, what's the thr MSG? Yeah, how about that? You want to call this day. A little too gooky. Yeah. You want to call it the MSG Express. The MSG Express. You're going there and just look,

you can hear your arteries hardener as you eat that food. It's so weird because the Asians have such good diets. Then we just bastardize it. Oh yeah, I know. What are we doing? Are you open? Hello? Hello? Hello? Let's drive up. Let's drive up. You better be. Maybe can we just drive up to the window. unless they saw us pull in and they're giving us... Are you guys hiding? Are you open? Are you guys open?

I'll kill everybody. Put the mind the phone down. That's what they're going to get pumped. You're open? Are you, are you open? I'll kill everybody. Feminine, large feminine man, come here. He's a large feminine man who's making eye contact with me, but refuses to walk up to the window.

Maybe, should I reverse it? Yeah, go around. Are you open? Are you open? Open? Not open? Not open? Not open. Fuck that guy and a click he claims. Dude, then shut. People are eating. You should walk in there? Should we walk in there? People are eating! Yeah, people are eating! Yeah, he just told us we're closed. Look at all the cars out front. All right. I'm gonna go in and ask. Dude. No, they're not gonna service. What the fuck?

What time is it? One. Yeah, they're closed. God damn it. What a horrible thing. I thought this is America, dude. Did they close in there? They're still open?

Let's go in, let's go in. We're gonna turn this off for two seconds. Turn us off and we'll pick it up. All right. Me and this feminine big man are gonna have a little discussion.