Tin Foil Hat With Sam Tripoli - The 1000th Episode Of Tin Foil Hat with Eddie Bravo and Kurt Metzger

Episode Date: June 19, 2026

On this historic 1000th episode of Tin Foil Hat, Sam Tripoli, Johnny Woodard, and XG take the stage live at the legendary Comedy Mothership in Austin for a celebration unlike any other. Joined by longtime friends and fan favorites Eddie Bravo and Kurt Metzger, the crew reflects on the wild journey to 1,000 episodes while diving into conspiracy theories, comedy, current events, and the unforgettable moments that helped make Tin Foil Hat a phenomenon. Packed with laughs, chaos, and classic Tin Foil Hat energy, this milestone event is a celebration of the guests, the fans, and the community that made it all possible. Join the WolfPack at Wise Wolf Gold and Silver and start hedging your financial position by investing in precious metals now! Go to https://www.samtripoli.gold/ and use the promo code "TinFoil" and we thank Tony for supporting our show. Please subscribe to the new Tin Foil Hat youtube channel:  https://www.youtube.com/@TinFoilHatYoutube   Sam Tripoli's 5th Crowd Work Special "Hero Live From Batavia" Drops May 2nd On Youtube.com/SamTripoliComedy   Grab your copy of the 2nd issue of the Chaos Twins now and join the Army Of Chaos: https://bit.ly/415fDfY   Check out Sam "DoomScrollin with Sam Tripoli and Midnight Mike" Every Tuesday At 4pm pst on Youtube, X Twitter, Rumble and Rokfin!   Grab Tickets To Sam Tripoli's Live Shows At SamTripoli.com: Albuquerque, NM: 6/12-6/13 Austin, TX: 6/18 Miami, Fl: 7/31-8/1 Lawerence, KS: 9/17-9/19 Tulsa, OK: 10/9-10/10 Dallsa, Tx: Nov 7th (TrutherCon) Austin, TX: Dec 11th-13th   Please check out Word War Debate and the WordWarDebate Contenders Series: https://wordwardebate.com   Please check out Eddie Bravo's internet: Website: https://www.10thplanetjj.com I nstagram: https://www.instagram.com/eddiebravo10p/  Youtube: https://bit.ly/43EPwNM      Please check out Kurt Metzger's internet: Youtube: https://bit.ly/4ehjE7m Twitter: https://x.com/kurtmetzger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kurtmetzgercomedy/       Please check out Sam Tripoli's internet: Linktree: https://linktr.ee/samtripoli Sam Tripoli's Stand Up Youtube Page: https://www.youtube.com/@SamTripoliComedy Sam Tripoli's Comedy Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/samtripolicomedy/%20P Sam Tripoli's Podcast Clip Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/samtripolispodcastclips/      

What's up Sworn? Welcome to the tinfoil hat one thousandth episode live from the comedy mothership! Tinfoil hat. Oh, what the fuck are you guys even talking about? Have to be imposed and be created to enforce them. Welcome to tinfoil hat. We go deep homeboy from the fountain of now. That's a...

This is only the beginning. There, you just blew my mind. my mind. I'm ready to get your mind. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage. Xavier Guerrero, Johnny Woodard, and Sam Tripoli. And welcome to Timphol Hat live from the Mothership. How are you guys?

We fucking did it! Ha ha ha! We sold it out. I want to give a quick shot on thank you to Joe Rogan for letting us do this. And my good friend, Adam Egan, for me for me. Adam Egan for making it happen. Give a quick shout out to them real quick. We got a great show

for you. We had one guest who was supposed to come, and he's not. Alex is like, I'll be there. He's like, I wasn't invited. I'm like, okay, it's fine. We still love you, Alex. So we got some great guests coming up. We're very excited about it. We're going to have a big

fucking show. I want to start off by the show by thanking Johnny and Xavier Guerrero for making the show happen. Mostly Johnny. I'm all the life. John did a lot of the heavy lifting. Let's not go crazy, dude. Let's not go nice, okay?

Daddy does a lot of work. I want to start off by asking you both how much you love working with me and how I've changed your life. Sam definitely changed my life. I want to thank everybody here. I'm not even lying. I didn't think podcasting with Sam. I literally, he says it so many times.

I went up to him like, hey dude, your old co-host left. Can I participate? Can I join? And that was it. I was in it. I was in the team. This motherfucker won the lot. Lottery, dude. Lottery! Lottery! I'm really not being serious, but Johnny, how did I change your life?

I made the mistake of not saying this last time, so I lived with that for three years or whatever it's been. Yeah, I mean, obviously, I came out to L.A. nine years ago to work on punch-drunk sports, if anybody out there has ever heard of that. And I heard you, what? How did I end up, Joe? I don't even remember how I ended up on 10.4. Oh, it was when you left ATC. Yeah, I remember well. like, hey dude, this autistic kid just hit me up.

And he wants to work on the show, should hire him? It's like, how much do you want nothing? Hire him, hire him. Yeah, I need a little more than nothing these things. Yeah, you do well. Yes, and we thank you for that, Sam. We could not afford L.A. if it wasn't for you. Yeah, I mean, it's a blessing.

And I'm going to be honest with you, everybody in this room, everybody who's watching this at home, everybody who's going to see it on YouTube. You guys changed my life. Without you guys, I don't know where I'd be. so I want to say thank you to all you guys for being a part of 1,000 episodes and how fucking crazy

the show has been. And it's really fucking nuts because we're always fucking right, yet they still think I'm a fucking retard. It doesn't matter. And it's very weird because everyone's becoming a conspiracy theorist. There's all these shows out there

and it's very weird that, you know, we've kind of changed the game. Obviously there was like no agenda and the great great Carl Woods, higher side chats, and, uh, but now there's Tim Full

there's like podcasts everywhere, dude, and everyone's talking about it. But that's safe dangerous. The new stuff is safe dangerous. They know it's safe dangerous. We come in deep, deep. When they get it, it's been done.

Yeah. I mean, we got the fittest flat earther talking about how I'm a fucking clone of, a fucking of Sir Francis Bacon, dude. What a fucking shitty downgrade that is, huh?

Start the Freemasons and fucking write Shakespeare. And then I flunk first grade, dude. They always say the clones are worse, though. So maybe it does line up. I should call my mother right now and ask her if I'm a fucking clone. See if that works out. So I wanted to go into some of the current shit. Like, what was your favorite episode of all time?

Of all? Holy shit. Ah, man, I've loved. Merkel was on. I love Tony Merkel. And he was on talking. Do you remember this episode about this? guy who would fall asleep and he was getting put to work by the devil. Do you remember? Like,

he would fall asleep and the devil, like, had him as a slave, essentially on the other side, and he was digging underground. That was my favorite episode. When I was really broke, I was like, in my dreams, I was so fucking broke, and I would wake up so pissed off. And people would be like, why are you so angry? It's like, I owe a dragon $1,000, you know? That's totally way. He became a, he's a white guy. And when he went to sleep, he was like, Satan's Mexican, essentially. He was digging, and then, like, he met Lucifer or something at the end of the tunnel. Do you remember?

What a shitty dream that is to be at Home Depot, and some guy comes and fucking grabs you makes you fucking work in a fucking tunnel? Damn, dude. No, but he met other people that had the same boss on the other. Like, it was a thing. What was that? Yeah, it's the one with the book. Right.

Yes, the book that we found and we're not allowed to talk about. We're not allowed to talk about it. We did find that book, though. Do you remember the name of the book? No, I don't. Gosh. It was over a thousand bucks. I remember it was really pricey.

It was very expensive. Yeah, we should have done a go-fund. We should have bought it, yeah. Got somebody to fucking buy it for us, dude. Yeah. He even, like Tony after, it was like, hey, guys, don't tell anybody about the book. Yeah, I love Tony Merkel.

Very excited at any time he comes on. What's your favorite show? Oh, man. Not favorite, but one of the craziest ones. What's your least favorite show? Huh? No, I'm going to say the craziest one, because we just talked about it,

is Tokyo Punch Trunk. When she came on, I was looking at John Noddow. What is going on? That is not her name. Like when the crack hooker came on. It's Tokyo Cunt Punch. Yeah. There you go.

Tokyo Cump Punch, my bad. She just came on and it was like, it reminded me of like what I knew Sammas, the Nottie show. I was like, are we doing the Nottie show? I thought this was supposed to be tinful hat. Yeah, dude. I used to be a king, dude.

I used to be a king. And then I discovered lizard people. And I find my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Jesus. Do you think that's the first time that's ever been said at the Mothership? So I want to give a shout out to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ real quick. Bang, bro. All my favorite stuff is hidden history and viruses don't exist.

I know the poor staff here. They're going to hear shit that's going to haunt them for the rest of their life. And real quick, guys, if you guys could, please take care of the staff. They're wonderful people. A lot of them are comedians. Take care of them. It looks good on us. So take good care of them.

But viruses don't exist. And I got everybody yelling at me on the internet. And that's fine. It's never been proven. I fucking love it. And it's very weird because you try to tell people that viruses aren't real and they don't have to worry about it. And they're so stuck in trauma. They love the thought of trauma.

They love the thought of like getting vaccines. And they just, and no matter how many people like, like the autism rate in California is like, like two and five. Right? And it's like all these mothers refuse to believe that shit. But if I told you, hey dude, there's a park and there's two out of five children

get molested at this park. Would you show up to the fucking park? But these moms are like, I don't care. Those are nice swings. I'm going to the fucking park. And I get it, man. I got parents, dude. I got parents.

Dana and I were talking the other day. My daughter is consumed with Roblox. And I'm like, I just constantly, I mean, I'm constantly showing her these articles, like this thing, this thing, this thing. To your daughter? 100%. You guys don't understand how smart my daughter is. So the other day, I get a text from the mom.

She's like, apparently she was on her pad for 11 hours at her house. And I'm like, well, we just leave it on while we're charging it. So it's not 11 hours. She told me the craziest shit. She goes, I read something that she wrote. And your daughter wrote, they don't. suspect a thing. What the fuck?

This is a six-year-old. I'm like, oh my God, dude. I'm raising Lex Luthor, dude. I'm going to be the dad to Darth Vader, bro. Which has his perks, you know what I'm saying? My daughter rules the world. But it's like, you know, people give shit about the kids on the pads.

They're super smart. Like one day my daughter came home. I don't know if I talked about this, I'm broken sim or not. But my daughter came home. She goes, Daddy. I go, what's up? She goes, do we live on a ball or a puddle? She's six years old.

And I go, in this house, it's a puddle, okay? At school, it's a ball, okay? Your teacher has a nose ring. We don't want you in detention. But I love all the hidden history stuff. Everything's a fucking lie. Everything is fake and gay. Everything is fake and gay. Like, did you guys hear the news story about the Southern Poverty Center? How many people know about what's happening with the Southern Poverty letter? Okay.

Nobody outside this room knows what the fuck I'm talking about? I don't. I don't. What is it? You don't know about it? You don't know what it's called for a start. It's the Southern Poverty Law Center. Yeah.

Oh, check it. It's not that. I can't. I'm gonna fucking fire you. That TechByer co-host on episode 1000 on a live show. A lot way to go out. To my world. I'm the only one who hires people that fucking fact check, man.

okay? You think you would just be like let it go. You have a whole show based on that we're doing it is. So the Southern Poverty Law Center. What did I say? Not something about... I love you dude. So they were basically, they're supposed to be fighting

hate and racism and it turns out they've been funding everything. You remember when the Tiki Torch guys are coming? With perfect choreography and khaki pants? Nazis just don't show up organized like that. Somebody went to Target and bought all this shit, right? Right? Well, now it turns out that the chick who ran it,

there was a guy running it. He might be Jewish. I don't know. Where it on the street is. Dana's so pissed right now. Give it up for Dana Marshall, who puts up with my shit. She organized all this. Give it up for her.

We love her very much. Even though at some point I will fake my own death. Okay, we love her. She's a big part of everything. And so this woman who was like very high up there, she not only was funding Nazis, but she was banging them too.

How do we stop? We stop racism by fucking racist. That's basically what the Southern Poverty Law Center. It would help. It would help. I think it would help, dude. If you're racist, you can get fuck, you're a little less racist that day. That's how I feel when I hooked up with lesbians

I felt like Jackie Robinson Right And I'm like I'm the only guy who gets a shot at this And if I fail my people never ever get to play again That's a lot of fucking pressure When you gotta bang a lesbian for your people That wasn't Not only were they dating

They had a joint bank account where she funneled like a million dollars From the PLC How Nazi was this guy though? Like it was like a real real Nazi Like he's like a part-time I'm Nazi, XG. I don't know. Everybody's a Nazi lately. Everybody's a Nazi lately. So that's the time he ran it in and out to feed his children.

Like what? How much Nazi is enough Nazi for you, XG? Are we talking like 25%? Like how much is before you get nervous? Yeah, I have to be over 50. I mean. Half a Nazi's fine with you? My favorite thing about this fucking country,

we're a nation of retards governed by fucking psychopaths, okay? And did I talk about this on the podcast on Brokisson where I was like, I saw this Satanist. She was screaming about how much she hates racist.

No. She's like, fucking these fucking racist, these piece of shit. I'm like, I go, you're a Satanist. That's fucking worse. Like, I have some racist uncles. They're kind of entertaining, right? Anyone here have a Satanist uncle, anybody?

Who just, you know? It's like, hey, dude, let's hope Uncle Tom doesn't get drunk again and do black mask during fucking dessert. But it's like this being consumed with racism. I don't know if you guys saw the 250,000 report in England. Anyone see that in the UK that came out about how there's 250,000 women have been sexually assaulted? And there's actually progressives all marching against racism of that fucking report. Jesus.

Got real quiet. here, but yeah, I feel really bad for anybody who wants Starbucks that day, because you know nobody was working that day. They're like taking off for the anti-racist fucking march. Thank you for enjoying that. Everyone got real quiet. We're at the mothership.

We can talk about rape, everybody, okay? I'll bring Tony Hinchcliff out here. We'll do 10 minutes. We'll do 10 minutes. We'll do 10 minutes. Rave together. But it's like, this is where we live in. And it's like, L.A. is like that. You know, it's like, we got this

giant fucking L.A. mayor vote, which has been totally sabotaged by fucking mail-in ballots. How many people think that there was some election fraud going on there? How many people believe it? Just a couple

of the staff people. That's about it. So what they want you to believe is that a woman I was telling this to Eddie last night. So Karen Bass comes in at 30 percent, right? Spencer Pratt comes in at 20 26%

Yeah, almost 27%. So he's 3.0 below her. Ramen comes in at 20%, which means she's 7 points away from him. By comes in, you mean the night of the election. The night of the election comes in. They call it for Karen Bass,

who's 3 points above the stand. Barely ahead of him, man. But they don't call it for Spencer Pratt. No. And you go, how do you know what a balance are coming in? Because we filled them out. Yeah.

We know. We know what's coming in. We filled them the fuck up. We voted for two things. We voted for the third place person, the second socialist. Yes. And then we didn't, and then we voted for more taxes. Yeah, well, and people will tell you, oh, well, the late votes always come in Democrat.

But they're both Democrats. None of them came in for Karen Bass. They all came in for Rama. Why would say you got 20% of the actual liven vote, get 80% the mail-in vote? It makes no sense. Is there logic why they say it comes in late? They get off a word late? Because the homeless people have to sign it at Skid Row and then it comes in late.

They have to teach them the read and write. Yes, yeah, that's it. And once they can do chicken stretch, they sign it. I mean, and it's proven. We have it on video of them paying homeless people to pull out ballots. $2. And nobody cares in L.A. that's in charge. Nobody at all.

It's the most disappointing thing. All right, so here's what's going to happen. We're going to bring some guests up for you guys. And then we're also going to have, we have a microphone right there. So we're going to have a little 10, minutes, maybe 15 minutes. If you guys can ask any questions, you'll line up over here and we'll do it before we announce

the new inductees. I shouldn't do that. The new inductees Yeah, watch that. Some people get pretty upset out there, even though I find it funny. Then we're going to induct a new inductees to the

Mount Crushmore. Voted on by you, the fans. We had no say in it at all. And real quick, before I bring out our first guest, I just want to say that to those who didn't make the list, okay, it doesn't mean... You suck. Nobody, no, not at all.

It doesn't mean you don't like... This is just who the fans voted were their favorite episodes. That's it. Anybody comes on Tim Follhat, it's a blessing, and we love you very much. So with that, let's bring out our first guest. He is the... He's the number one Mexican on this flat earth. my best friend Eddie Bravo

over here or over there whichever one you want to do the one only Eddie Bravo Eddie Eddie Eddie Eddie Eddie Eddie Thank you thank you I appreciate it Eddie you are episode number one

of Tinfall Hat December 16th of 2015 no 2000 2016 it's been a long time damn we weren't gray back then

we were full of hope yeah it was a different time back then for sure and do you remember when I did I introduced the show I go welcome to tin full hi you go hold on what is that the name of this fucking that's a good name yeah dude that's a good name I got so much shit for it everyone's like that's the worst name ever

because at the time I loved NWA I didn't realize they were CIA, okay? And I was like, dude, those guys own that fucking word, let's fucking go, dude. And then I'm like, what word or phrase is the most demonized in conspiracy? What word did they own, Sam? Say it. Come on.

We're at the mothership. Don't say it. I think that's the one word. Who has attitude? Who has attitude? Don't say it. And I'm banned from the club. But we're going to go out blazing, dude.

So I saw that And I was like, okay, let's just fucking Let's find the craziest name I came up with tinfall hat Nobody was doing a tinfall hat at that time So we went with it and here we are I thought it was perfect because at that time There weren't all these

Conspiracy theorists out there There's so many now, thank God But back then I was like Alex Jones Couple people And I got really deep into The Clinton Body Count And that's getting the shit out of me Those motherfuckers will kill you.

So I'm doing the Joe Rogan podcast and in the beginning, like no one was watching that shit so we were like talking bad shit. But then as it blew up, I'm like, they're gonna kill me. So I thought like shit. I would do JREs and specifically go in there

and, you know, I take a piss. We're about to start. I'm looking in the mirror. I'm like, Shadow Box going, dude, shut the fuck up. Stick to M.MA and push. See. Come on, don't be stupid. You don't want to be fucking hanging with some rubber bands. And out there's, if you look at some of them, I did like 80.

I had no idea they just piled up so quickly. Holy shit. Yeah. If someone would have asked me, how many of you done? I would be like 20? And they go, no dude, 87. I'm like, oh, they're going to kill me. So, some days I would just get so drunk on the show, I would just start going off.

and I remember driving home fucking looking for black helicopter like they're gonna kill me so when he did it when he came up with tin foil hat I go that's perfect it sounds like diffusing like you who's gonna take tinfoil hat podcast seriously so I go that's fucking perfect I want to do um we were talking about doing like a comedy festival thing with uh conspiracy theorist comics or red bill comics or whatever you want to call. But I didn't want to say,

like, the truth convention of comedy or something like that because the CIA would send plants right away, dog. They would send them. So I'm like, what could we name this thing so that the CIA just ignores it?

And I thought, and it's going to happen, fake Bigfoot invasion. And we had like a poster one because he made a shirt of it once. I'm like, we're going to do a festival. So no one's going to fucking take that shit seriously. You know what I mean?

And it'd be like, bigfoot, like a giant hologram of Bigfoot coming out of the fulkin woods and there's a punter and everyone's scared running and you could see the drones with the hologram technology we're gonna do that one of these days. That t-shirts available at tinful hat t-shirts.com fake Bigfoot invasion. I love it.

And so I remember when the show started popping off and getting really big and that we would post something And then all you guys would show up. And I was like, dude, they're like a fucking swarm, dude. They just show up. And that's where the name the swarm came from. And I remember Tony Hinchklo's like, you got a name for your fans?

And I was like, dude, they just swarm, bro. They just show up and fucking, they regulate, and they fucking respect and they show up. So I want to talk to you. We've had a lot of talks about Trump and all that shit. and like anyone else getting a little weirded out by the flip that just happened? Now we got Trump, we got J.D. Vance,

going off on Israel, and I'm just like, what is happening? What are you things going on? Have you been following it at all? I've been following it, but I'm not really going out there making statements. I'm just waiting to see it all play out. You know what I mean?

Because it is pretty scary, you know, with Trump putting on a Yamagun, kissing the wall. I'm like, you better be playing 5D chess, motherfucker. There better be something to this. Because this is very scary and he's surrounding himself with Zionists like, fuck.

You know, but no matter what, no matter what people think about Trump or whatever, if he went against Biden again or Kamala again, I'm going Trump a million percent of the time. Because we know that

the Kamala side and the Biden side fuck those demons. We ain't going back to that. Some people are like, oh, let's go back to that. I'm like, no, we ain't going back to that. We ain't going back to that shit. You know what I mean? So hopefully, I don't know what's going on with Trump.

I don't know. I don't know. But it's very weird him going off on Israel right now. But think about that one, think about that one post he made, the most ridiculous political suicide post he made where he called. Which one? Easter. The one on Easter?

No, the one he did a bunch. but the long one where he said Tucker, Candace, Megan Kelly and Alex Jones are low IQ individuals. I'm like, he knows that everybody knows that he knows that's bullshit. Like, why would it, he's not that stupid. You don't become president twice or three times

and you can't be that dumb. Well, there is George W. I was about to say, yeah. I take that back, I take that back. But, and then in the same post, He says, oh, these motherfuckers, they couldn't even hang in TV. Now they're doing podcasts. I'm like, he knows that everybody knows that he knows that's Pocet.

What's going on here with this shit? And then he goes, oh, and Candace, she's fucking talking. She thinks Macron is a man. And she's way more beautiful than Candice. I'm like, oh, my God. Candice is hot. Gorgeous. Gorgeous.

He was a princess face. Future black. So he knows it. Everybody knows it. He knows that's bullshit. It was so over the top. I'm like, there's something going on here. I don't know.

I don't really say shit. Let's watch it all play out. You know what I mean? Of course, we don't want to fuck in World War III. Of course, when he started bombing Iran, like, oh, my God, what the fuck? am I going to have to move the Greenland? Like, what the fuck?

So let's see how it all plays out. So far, no boots on the ground. But as soon as there's boots on the ground and there's a real war, you know, who knows what Israel's going to pull their ass up tomorrow. I don't know. And then we're right back in it. I don't know what the fuck's going on.

But the only thing I do know is the truth that's not being broadcasted. That's all I know. So what you believe... You mean on mainstream media? Exactly. Yes. And, you know, a lot of podcasts, too. You know what I mean? It's not just mainstream media. It's like, dude, you think they're not all up in podcasting, too? You know what I mean? They're not stupid. The way that people still love Obama is laughable to me. And they're like, oh, my God, I miss Obama so much. And it's just like, it's just, it just lets you show you the power of propaganda. Because they should look at Trump, even though I would take Trump over probably everybody up to J.R. Now that doesn't mean I think he's perfect That's the position of a war criminal

Like good luck getting a unicorn in there You know what I'm saying like good luck I mean like dude if you keep getting let down By these motherfuckers But you know the fact that nobody looks at what Trump is I remember somebody's like maybe Maybe Obama should get back in there and have a cookout At the White House I go well he did order

Fucking hot dogs and pizza for six hundred fifty thousand And he ran out of bombs He literally ran out of He ran out of bombs too. He's smile. That right there, this whole we're running out of bomb shit and I ran like, fuck you were running out of bombs. Oh, they're running out of bombs.

We ran out. We spent like trillions a year on the military. We're not running out of fucking bombs. I'm like, why are they saying, oh, we're, we're, or maybe they're like, damn, didn't you buy bombs? We gave you a truck. Oh, we had to buy a couple islands, you know what I mean? Because we can't use the Epstein's no more.

more. I'm like, dude, you guys didn't run out of fucking missiles. And you know what the crazy thing is like now, now that, you know, the people are jumping off the Trump train, you know, and I don't know where the fuck I'm just letting this play out. Like I said, but we started to notice shit about Trump that we didn't notice before. Like people that were pro-Trump, like, that motherfucker orange is fuck.

We blocked that shit out before. But now I'm not. like, what the fuck are you putting on your face, Doc? Right? I've noticed little shit. We didn't notice before. What's up with the orange makeup? You know, I'm going to say something about the UFC,

and it's like you can have your issues with pay and all that. Looks like all the fighters got paid really well for the Washington, D.C. fight. But, bro, Dana White, you can say anything. That guy doesn't fucking fire you, dude. Like, he's like Michelle Obama is a man. Nothing. No. I mean, like, dude, that's not free speech.

It has nothing to do with the government, but it is about free expression and not cancel culture. And I, so I hear a lot of people, a lot of comedians, especially in L.A., crying about the fact that Austin, everybody says, retardant faggot, right? And they get really upset about, yeah. Yeah.

And the reason everybody says that is because everybody says that in their real life. And all we're doing is just being real on stage. Now, so you got these people, all they're just using as easy joke. I go, well, you know, I don't hear you complain about black people using the N-word or female comics talking about their pussy and doing essay jokes. Or gay people saying the F-word about gay people all the fucking time. You've lost the culture war, dude.

That's what this is all about. You're upset about the culture war. And, like, I know that gas is super high and I'm not okay with that. if you want to go, I think this whole war, it's not even a war, whatever happened in Iran is a giant fucking sciop. Thank you, three people. It's a giant siop, okay,

and it's the raised gas prices. The gas that you're pumping right now was pumped two years ago. It's not even the gas in the gas fucking pumps. This is all about jacking the price up, okay? It's all about that. It has nothing to do what's happening in the straight of her nose, okay?

That has nothing to do with it. This is a giant sciop. And one of Johnny Woodard's best jokes ever is that the Greater Israel Project is like the Kevin Bacon of conspiracies, right? How everybody, everything is five degrees from the Greater Israel Project. Because I thought it was a really weird war, dude.

You had like Iran bombing, whatever they're bombing in Israel, but Israel is attacking Lebanon? Yeah, that's a weird one, huh? Who's getting? attacked and then starts attacking somebody else. Does that make any fucking sense? I don't understand so much of it because one of the main things I don't understand

about what's going on in the world is most people agree that the media, the entertainment business, newspapers and all that, you know, mainstream news is controlled by Israel, right? Or is that not right? It's right, right?

I don't know. That could be a sire. Like, no, dude, Mexicans actually run Hollywood. I'd be like, fuck, yeah. Shit, the Mexicans ran a fucking Hollywood shit. I'd be like fucking Ricardo Maltablan up

in this motherfucker. You'd be the von D'Amba of Hollywood. I'd run Hollywood, dog. I'd have fucking, you know, crazy mansion up on Laurel Canyon. And fuck. Hanging out with the Manson grandkids. But, okay,

Israel running our mainstream media and the entertainment business, right? Wouldn't you, I mean, and Trump is the most pro-Israel president of all time, according to Israel. They make statues and shit. They made a hotel. They're so like Netanyahu's like, you're the greatest American president for Israel. Like they're so happy. They're like giving them awards and shit.

You would think Israel would go to Hollywood. Like, shut the fuck up about Trump. Show some love. Okay? Or you ain't making no more movies, motherfucker. You would think, right? That doesn't make sense to me. I don't know. Make that make sense.

Wow. I'm going to just tell you, I think Trump is a chaos magic sorcerer, and that's it. And, you know, regardless of whatever you think of Trump, and we could have a lot of problems with things that Trump's doing, all this shit is out in the open. And, you know, the whole thing came out about, and I want to bring our next guest up in two seconds,

is that, you know, Epstein was behind Q and Q on 4chan, but I think it blew up in their face. I think they were trying to control it, and they decided to control the message. And, you know, I know Kurt has some really strong opinions on it, but I think it got away from them, and everyone's really waking up. Now, I'm going to get into why I don't tweet about Israel as much anymore,

because I think you can't pass anti-Semitism laws without anti-Semitism. So we're playing into these noahide laws by calling out this shit all the fucking time. So I'm pulling back on that shit because that's what they want. They want us all pissed off at the low-hanging fruit, okay? It's all sorcery, dude.

And there's Kabbalah sorcerers, Jewish sorcerers, fucking Jesuit sorcery, Muslim sorcery. I mean, they go around a black cube in Mecca. I mean, it's all fucking there. So I want to hear more about this. Please welcome one of my, favorite people on Planet Earth. I love

him so much. He's one of the best that does it now. He's a supercomputer. Please welcome Kurt Metzger! Over here, over here, over here. Kurt, Kurt, Kurt, Kurt, Kurt, Kurt, Kurt, Kurt, Kurt, Kurt, Kurt. I heard a lot of anti-Semitism backstage.

He just came and correct it. Is there, I sure I know. Yeah, you could do, just use Johnny's hat. Just one right back there. How dare you? All right, this will do. Hey, get up and grab one of those, please. So you saw the Trump betrayed Israel today.

Yeah. Son of a bitch. How about this? Why don't you try doing something for Israel once in a while? So, Kurt, today you were shooting a pilot, right? Are we excited about it? No, it didn't happen? No, today I was doing Mystery Boys.

Okay. Mystery Boys. Number one. Number one. Number one. It's killing it. Mystery Boys. Has my episode dropped yet?

No, but you know what you recorded today? The dude from the Secret Space, Harold James from the Secret Space Program. It's the best Secret Space Program story. It's so secret it doesn't exist? No, he, like, fucked up on his first day. He had to go break rocks on the moon. Like, his old thing is he gets recruited,

and then he fucks up because he poked some lizard in the eye and they got real mad at him. What? Because he thought the guy was trying to kill him, but he wasn't. Like, the lizard wasn't even bad, it turns out. It was a good lizard. Not good, but just like not trying to kill him. But if there's good lizards, then there's bad lizards.

Look, I know you're anti-Semitic, but it takes all kinds. What? Land of the Lost. Inok, he was the good lizard. Remember that shit? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's Lee-Stacks, and then the good one was E-Nor. Yeah, I have a problem with drugs and alcohol. Oh, I smoke that.

I'm going to smoke meth and try to suck my own dick. Oh, my God. B, b, b, b, b, b, b. That's the secret of immortality. Yeah, it really is. That's where they got the snake that eats its own tail. That was a guy trying to suck himself off.

That is exactly. What happens if you go back in time and kill your own grandpa? You become immortal and without sin. A snake sucking his own dick for all eternity. So, I've been blessed to be on a

text thread with a group, that's called Sam Tripoli, T.P. USA. No, it's called Turning Point, Sam, Trimley. I didn't want to let Sam into it. He did. He wouldn't let me into my own group forever. But I assured him if something happens to him, the group will continue.

Listen. So, and this thing is deep, guys. I mean, deep. I have to Google shit that they're tight. And it's kind of like double Dutch, and I'm afraid to jump in and just start doing fucking. something, dude, because they're so fucking deep.

What's the best, craziest, deepest thing that you can remember from Turning Point, Sam Tripoli? We solved Danny Elthman mystery. Okay. Do you know about Danny Elfman? It's creepy as shit. I'll just put it

that way. And yeah, guys are fucking weirdo. Okay, can you tell us about it? Because... Well, he's covered in sigils and fucking the hand of the philosophers in the middle of his chest. Okay. And he's jacked.

He's 70 years. Oh, by the way, he's straight. I think that's the craziest thing. Oh, when a guy deep, too. He's just orange ginger clown man who's 70s. He's jacked and straight as an arm. And he's married to Bridget Fonda. Remember Bridget Fonda?

Yeah, I've heard of her. Okay, well, I mean, she looks like a six-year-old woman from, like, the 50s now. And he's jacked. G.I.J. Is that what we're talking about? No, that? Jane Fondo. Okay, remember Jackie Brown?

Remember Jackie Brown? Yeah. When De Niro kills the surfer girl? You want me to suck my own dick, don't you? He really does like us. Would that be so bad? Anyway, Bridget Fond is... What?

Hananoi Jane. That's right. Are we talking about the same person? No. No, okay. That's Jane Fonda. Okay, the whole Fonda family are fucking... Oh, it's her niece. It's like chat GPT if it was an audience member.

Anyway, did you ever see you? Single-well-oh, okay, now I know who you're talking about. Has everybody caught up? Single-white female. Look, she's fat now. Who is it? She became, and I am. Oh, my God.

I'm no Danny Lerner. I'm losing precious inches on my dick right now. Are you? Oh, yeah, dude. And I don't got a lot to lose. That's why I'll tell you, got to bend down and suck it back out of your body. He's coming up in there. Take a hit and listen.

limber up and get to work. Look, we solve a lot of stuff. I can whip out my phone and tell you if you want. Yeah, I mean, we'd love to hear it. All right, I'll tell you the last thing is going to be like probably... Dude, this shit is... Can you say who's in it or is that secret? Say that again?

Can you say who's in the chat? Okay, here's just one random... Why do you have grandma font? You have, like, the largest letters. It's so fucking used. I got bad eyes, you little shit. So big, dude. By the way, Johnny's wearing glasses, though.

If you didn't have glasses, you would need it that big, too, though. Dude, I couldn't read shit from, yeah, I mean, I wouldn't recognize. You look white right down to him. What percentage are close? What percentage of men can suck their own dick, do you know? Of this table, what percentage of men is this table? I chat TBT, guess. I'm going to go with 20%.

No way. That's way too high. 0.03% of the male population can suck their own dick. Get on perplexility or whatever the fuck that is. What's it called? Perplexity?

It's like Joe Rogan and three other. But you know those people? You know those people that always say, oh, if I could suck my own dick, I'd never leave the house. I'm like, bitch, do you jerk off? Yeah, I'm like, why do you still go rubbing tough? Yeah, good point.

Doesn't make any sense. Got him. Sucking your own dick ain't that great. Okay? I don't know nothing, but. That's great. You fucking pop your, your, your, your disc in your neck and shit. You know what I mean?

Like you get that C1 and C2. You got to go get it shaved off. Get stem cells. Like, dude. Get stem cells. I wonder if you get a discount if you can prove you can suck your own dick. It's like, where? You're a chosen one.

Here's some stem cells. It's crazy. Okay. Here's something fucking nuts if you want to hear it. Of course. What are we, assholes? Okay. So Dr. Heather Lynn was in the Lucius Trust.

Do you know what that is? She's in there? If she's in the group? Not now. I said what. Do you kick her out? No, no. She was in and got creeped out.

It was a correspondent school where they made you do remote viewing and shit. Okay. And they have these creepy worksheets that are like, everything's in a 26-year cycle. And they would have it. They'd be to close your eyes and envision this and she did. And all the sudden she started seeing shit.

And she got freaked. Anyway, she'd tell you the story. But behind the scenes, they teach the initiates that Shambala is the etheric seat of planetary will ruled by a Venusian being identified with both the ancient of days

and light bringing impulse transmitting a first ray destroying in the U.N., this is the little churches in the bottom of it. This horse shit is what... Which one is? Lucius Trust. You know the U.N. has like a meditation room or a fucking stone altar in it? Yeah.

And modern art. That's the fucking church of the future is this shit. Oh, really? I don't... Dude, this is all the chat is. Shambahala is also the residents of Sinat Kumar, whom Bailey calls a lord of the world. Alice Bailey, you know that creepy bitch? The Ancient of Days, the one initiator,

blobby bloop, and let's see. This is the whole chat, by the way. And then I just throw a dick joke in there just to lighten it up. Oh, the rods of initiation It said to be real For anyone who saw this shit show That was Disclosure Day The rods in the film

functioned like the Luciferian rods They're not metaphors They're magnetizing charge of energy blobby So did you see Disclosure Day from Steven Spiel? You saw Disclosure? Not yet. Horrible. Yeah, the real disclosure

was the friends we made along the way I swear to God That is the story That is really the story I'm not trying to be A meme about it And then also It's like these kids got lured out of their houses

with Disney music and molested by aliens and a fucking... I swear to God. Can I ask you a serious question? Okay. Yeah, I did once. I got just past the helmet. Why do... It doesn't change your life.

Did you... After that, did you feel like you had a superpower? No. Thank God I locked my door in my room. Because I had this chair that looked like if you pulled the base of it, you could probably suck your own dick. Yeah? So you tried it.

Just as I got my dick head in my mouth. That was it? Oh, is that gay? You give yourself hand, job. Shut up. I'm not judging. I'm not judging. Then my mom started banging on my door that I locked.

Thank God. Kurt, are you masturbated? I swear to God. She sent now. She had nosed. I never explicitly told us not to suck her own dick in the house, but it was understood. Like, she knew something was going on in the house. I think of a mom walked in.

You know what I said to her? What? No, shut up, Mom. Stop embarrassing me. I told her to stop embarrassing me. So if sucking your own dick... Her oldest son's sodomizing his own face in her house. I go, stop embarrassing me, Mom.

I love your rebuttal to... sucking your own dick is gay, you're like, yeah, if you jerk yourself off. I've had this argument a lot. No, no, that's huge. That's huge. But, but, but, but, but, but, is it gay if you, if you come in your own mouth? Is that gay? Why is that gay and sucking your own dick ain't gay?

Welcome to Timphill hat or one. You know what, it depends? Okay, that's a great question. It's a great, because it's a conspiracy. You can't have it both ways. It depends if you're looks maxing. So, if I'm trying to cut weight. to go in my meth faith, you know, my meth.

It's protein, but it's protein. I thought it was protein. Right, I got to cut down on my calories. I can't waste any proteins. I'm not going to be eating more. It's your own protein. But that's only during the cutting phase. That would be like drinking your own pee, right?

That's like even higher. Drink your own pee? Swallow your own cum. The problem is, I, you know, I just found out recently that women. Cum has electrolytes. No, that women, on average, probably has, it probably has like some bioflavinoids. motherfucker, you know what I mean?

He's like, oh, my back doesn't hurt anymore. Probably kind of like creatine, like, fuck. It's a stem cell. You know what I mean? Can you imagine, can you imagine if drinking cum, like that's why gay dudes are always yoked? Like, why are gay dudes always giant? Maybe it's the cum.

A little extra protein, it's that little extra protein they're getting in them. Well, it does help women with being happy. The more of the sauce they get, the happier they are. Yeah, of course. Say, woo. We got a cocks out. zombie over here. No, you know what?

I found out. I found out that the average length of a female orgasm is 30 seconds to a minute and a half. If it exists. No. That's the thing though. Have you ever seen one? Let's assume it exists. Yeah.

Like space. Have you ever had sex that, like, I've had sex. I thought they were going into epileptic seizures. Yeah. They're like, eh, yeah, yeah. I'm like, shit. it. My, dude, my dick sucks. My orgasms last three seconds. They go so quick

and I get Postnut syndrome so quick. Then when I'm jerking off watching porn, I want to turn that fucking thing off immediately. I still got jizz on my thumb. I'm like, I gotta get back to some emails. I go, I thought it was normal to have three second orgasms. I'm like, motherfuckers are having 30-second orgasms? and I found out my dick's too sensitive

it has too many veins I thought it was like a like I'm a chump like a two pump chump it was a mental thing you know it turns out it's a vascularity issue I have an over saturation of varicose veins on my dick

too vastus that's real and I got one big vein that goes over the top like Louforygnos fucking bicep you call that the gray wall the doctor said we can remove that that's the problem like shit that's the problem

will you use a laser but it's 15 K to remove that big ass vein. I'm like, ooh. And it's not guaranteed. Let's not go with you. Fuck me. If it works, if it's successful,

I could add like eight minutes to my intercourse sessions. Would you want a 30, would you want to come for 30 seconds as a mind? Fuck yeah! Yeah, I would say, yeah. No, no, you're right. No, I take that back.

Yeah, I take that back. Yeah. If I can multiply my back feeling times 10. You have no idea how fucking lucky you are. There's bitches out there. Like, I only come for 35 seconds. It's so it goes by so quick. What woman says that?

My organ, this is my orgasm. I'm like, ugh. Ugh. Fuck. So you are, you aren't clocking it. I come so fast.

I come so fast. I was about to ask if you were timing it. He times it. Right. I mean, that's scientific measurement, right? There's got to be that. Why do you think aliens don't pro

black people? You think they don't? What? Yafet Koto from Midnight Run and Homicide, Life on the Streets. He was a kidnapping experience of aliens. Let's call it what it is. Kidnap and Space rape.

Let's call it what it is. Space rape. A probing. That might be the name of the same. He was called a probing. I like it. If a Puerto Rican get it to you. We might have to bring it back a little bit.

No, stop making excuses for them. He's fucking. Those are some bunch. Sextorists. Before the show, we go, listen, there's a couple words if they're said we got pulled back if anyone mentioned space rape we gotta bring it back

yeah it's that bad does the space make do they harvest your semen you think it's gonna be a bad three seconds to you isn't it weird like on YouTube there's certain words you can't say they got to they got to blurp out rape and suicide you can't say suicide you can't say suicide I usually say crazy I say seaman side

they let you say fuck all day I say slip and slide You slip us like? Why can't you say suicide? Because you live in a nightmare tech Satan algorithm. What do you want for me? Hey, I'm just a guy that got his own dick helmet in his mouth one time.

I'm not. Otherwise, I'm just like everybody else. So, they harvest your salmon. They harvest your semen. Oh, it's a bountiful harvest. I don't know why. Is it a season that they do it? Every spring, they're like,

It's like fuel. La La La La. I think it's fuel for their ship. You know, they go, hold on. Let's stop at this guy's house and top off before we hit the... There's no more place to get jizz in the entire solar system. You know how many people they got to do that to fill up a tank? Yeah, millions.

There's millions. They don't care. They're called Experiencers. You're right. The tank could be small. They don't need it. They could not any lie, right. It might be a hybrid.

Part sunlight. Part jizz. How would you handle it, Eddie? And like the cheap jizz, if they sold it and it actually built protein and muscle and all that, the cheap jizz would be like, you get Mexican jizz. You know what I mean? That would be the cheap jiz.

I'm not trying to get pregnant. We were hard. We're trying to get muscles. What do you think is the Primo Jiz? Primo Jiz. Oh, Primo, the Mexican brand of jiz. Then why don't they harvest, why don't they abduct more black people?

Not that many of them live in the country. Are they too fast? Are you advocating the races? He's too fast. We can't get these. Twitch fiber people. It's just too Tony. It's just nonsense talk.

They get them all the time. There's a lot of black people kid now. The most famous Zimbabwe case ever. Tell us about it. Oh, I think it's bullshit because of flying saucer lands it's some kindergarten in Rhodesia. Well, you know what? You know a hard way.

And then it says, hey kids, don't pollute. Wait, really? That's so funny. Thanks, space rapists. I didn't know nuclear weapons are bad. Oh, thanks for coming to Zimbabwe. The place where the message will do the most good. That's where you know it's bullshit. And plus, all the ones that are before 1980

are warning about nuclear weapons. And all the ones after is warning about climate change. Is that interesting? Almost like it's a paid-for... I would love if aliens talk to us and baby talk. Oh, well, here you see your leader. It sounds like they do. All the stories I hear, they sound like,

real insulting to your adult. Like, you know, they just gape your fucking ass on a weird metal table. And then they show you, oh, Earth, climate change. Did you just fucking rape? Fuck you. Tell me not to pollute.

Are you victim blaming me? Is that what this is? I guess it's my fault. We have nuclear weapons. Thanks. You know, we got a president that you could thumb his assholes because he's in charge of that. I'm a guy that works at a fucking

Target in the middle of southern Michigan area. Well, thanks for bringing it to my attention. I'll just get back to work tomorrow. Let everybody know, nukes are bad. So, real quick, let's check you with the crowd. How many people are regretting coming here right now? I wanted to talk about lizard people in Israel, but kind of space rape.

That's so fucking funny, dude. I was hoping we were wearing your cool wigs tonight Give it up for the King of the Twinks everybody Real quick Kurt Metzger The Twinks, the King of the Twinks I thought it was

I was doing a set I forgot it was a podcast So I think Eddie did it I was all studying I got to go over my material It's not stand-up I'm like oh okay

I like this better That's fresh It's so much easier. It is so much easier. I would have never brought up sucking my own dick, so thank God. That's part of disclosure. We've had a number of disclosures here tonight. So Stephen Spielberg was like, this movie.

Spielberg. This movie could end religion as we know it. Oh, we need to learn empathy is what we learned from Spielboy. That's, I swear I got on disclosure. Could humans re-learn empathy? Really? Did the aliens say anything about Gaza, motherfucker? Yeah.

Oh, I need to learn empathy. The guy from the mega group. I've been saying that forever. Like, these aliens are worried about nuclear war, but they don't give a shit about what's going on in the Ukraine or in Gaza. They're like, we have other things. You know? That was my baby talk.

You remember that joke that I did? That was good. I heard Speyboy E. Tom Hanks threw Cappy off that bridge. Tom Hanks, by the way, if you go back and watch his movies,

like, he's a fucking creep, dude. He was never... First of all, he's like really a lot of energy and stuff, but he's never been funny. He's literally just saying parroting things from TV. You didn't see Boozum buddies?

No, I didn't. Boozum buddies is pretty good. I'm not a big porno guy, so I... It's kind of... Come in! You know, when I'm stuck on my own thing, I can't really see. I can't really feel.

Oh, that's perfect. I guess I could put my phone off. Hey, can someone perplex? You start up with porno, right? Can you put, is there a porno called boosum buddies? They have to. Hold on, you don't think there's a porno they're boozeum buddies? Oh, there is.

Of course, right? I think it's called bosom buddies, not boosem. How do you say, how do you say? Booz and buddies. I don't even know. Dude, I don't even know what boozeem means, and I've never used. I've never met, I've never used bosom in any. conversation ever in my motherfucking

life. Yeah, that dude got some boozeum. I never did that. So I don't even know what it means. Boozum, buddy. What does it mean? It's breast, your chest. It means your tits. Busom. Buzum. Yeah. Like men should not have that. Forty-five years

later, I forgot that show. But the premise of that show, Boozum buddies was Tom Hanks and this other dude. Tom Hanks and this other dude, it's perfect. Now looking back going, damn, no no fucking shit. They, they, They had to, they wanted to live in an all women.

It's about trannies, dude. They wanted to live in an all-female apartment complex. It's like someone like it hot as a six- So they had to pretend they were women. They dressed like women. And the landlord was fooled, but all the girls living there, they knew that. Did the girls know? The girls didn't even know, right?

Like Donna Dixon. I never watched it. I never watched it. I turned off after I came. You're too young. You're too young. You had to be like at least 50 to remember booze on bodies. But that was Tom Hanks' breakout sitcom. Go back and watch. watch that shit.

It'll make sense now. Boosom. Did you like his movie, Bachelorette. Buzums, right? Are those fake bosoms? Buzum. Bozum.

I need a new bosom job. Remember how they, in the beginning, they used to do titty jobs. They fucked up a lot. Bitches were going to go back, go to. I got one titty looking up, one titty looking down. Bidges were pissed off.

Under the muscle or over the muscle. But now, dude, now they got ditties down. They're perfect. They look perfect. They look like... They're twins. I don't know if it's AI. Maybe it's A.I.

Maybe like a data center is like, you guys doing the ditties all wrong. And they're... But they got them down now. Oh, shit. They got them. They're fucking perfect. What about BBLs? I saw a guy with a BBL.

Those are old breast implants that they put you in. Any ladies here have a BBL? I'm not even sure what that is. I'm going to tell you like. Brazilian blood. Why is it BBL? Brazilian butt lift, I believe. Oh, shit, okay.

The chicks who look like they have ninja turtle shells on their asses. Women out there. Nice ass tits, bitch. Women out there, fake tities, guys accept fake tithes. Guys do not accept fake ass. Because it's not good enough. We don't accept it. We don't accept it.

How long till it's good enough? Fake ass is like, that's a fucking deal breaker. He just can't look like a Nazi helmet on your ass. That's the problem. It does, it's, it guys don't like that shit. That ass, just do some squats. Go to the gym, do fucking 50 squats a day and you're good. Man, did you guys expect BBL talk on the show tonight?

I don't expect all this great BBL advice. Wait, now, what's your advice to a young clavicular who just got his botched nose surgery? And he took, like, dude, Epstein, clavikier, they all got this. chin shit done where they take out part of their chin. It's so weird. And now he's called Panama. Koreans do that all the time. It's like normal.

It's like every Korean goes through like it's like a face change. They fix the eyes. They pull the skin off and grind the jaws and grind the cheekbones and grind the cheekbones and change the fucking structure of the skull right here. And they have like a full deal. You can get all that shit or you could just get the jaw. Maybe your cheekbones are fine. But you get the whole fucking thing, it's like $1,500.

It's crazy. Maybe not $1,500 bucks, but... In Tijuana, you go to Tijuana, you can get that shit for $800. Oh, you tell me, for $1,500, I can K-pop max my looks. Yeah. They all look... They all look... They all look...

They're all doing the exact same surgery. They all look the same. It's crazy. South Korea is just North Korea with lights. It's not... How many... How many... Dude, in the future, there's going to be, like, 80% grandmas look better than their fucking kids.

No, their suicide rate is higher than North Korea's. No way. Really? Remember when they would show you the map and one's, like, completely black at night and ones all lit up? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we were like, ew, you guys get healthy sleep at night from losers. We bombarded by casino race. The mark of success.

Do you remember that Chinese or the North Korean chick that was on Joe Rogan's podcast? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No one's the tits, don't want the tits? Do you ever think, like maybe like, what's up? Like, what's going on here? Like, you know, they're like, you think you got CIA titties? I don't know.

I don't know. I love. They let her talk, and then she was talking about, in North Korea, they have to collect shit. And eat it, type of shit. No, collect shit to buy bread. Wait, well, you go to watch the same documentary? What are they on Joe Rogan's podcast saying they got to collect the, like.

Because they use it for fuel. They use it for fuel. Yeah, she says some shit like that. I love that they got, they let the hottest North Korean out. Like, everyone's not watching her 24 hours and they're like, don't let her run. She's the only one keeping me alive right now. How does she get out? I don't know what's going on with none of that.

Like, how's, like, what's going on with North Korea? They got, like, these people that sneak in and there's like nobody else. They got nuclear weapons. And then you'd never heard about them ever again. Remember they're like, oh, my God, they're going to have nukes any day. Do they really? You ever see those. videos where they show, they show them like, North Korea launched missiles and then they show

like these dudes in white coats. They're like, and you look at the equipment. Dude, that looks like 1940. They're using Atari graphics. They're looking like, look at that. Look at their equipment. It looks like shit. They got nuclear bombs.

Yeah, here's how you know they do. We haven't tried a regime change there for quite some time. I don't know what's going on. I don't know what's going on North Korea. That's the only reason we don't keep trying to overthrow a place that we want to over there. Well, it's also a shit hole. They're from that. The Axis of Evil.

That just gets shush on my own show. I'm going to forget what I'm getting at. Oh, my bad. I'll shut up. The Axis of Evil. Remember how serious that was? Remember we sent Seth Rogen and James Franco to kill the guy? That's exactly what I'm saying.

That's exactly what I'm saying. Then what happened? They got nukes, and then my memory goes blank. And then when I came to, we couldn't remember if women or dudes have dicks. So I don't know what happened. There's a blank spot. And then an argument about if women have cops. or not for about 10 years straight.

So you tell me what happened. Okay. It was a big deal. All of a sudden, never came up ever again. And all I could do was wonder, what the fuck women have in their pants? Is it a...

We may never know. We may never know. I'll tell you the disclosure we'll never get. Now, the question is when you bring a chick home, Kurt, and you take her pants off, and it's a dick, are you more upset when it's a really big dick and now your girlfriend has a bigger dick than you

or are you like oh it's a tiny dick I can work with this like what do you do it oh man that's like you can just not head it's by what's the sound of one hand clapping you know I just I don't have an answer I just think about it all day long these are the important questions so you

you know how hard I swear to God one night I drank too I drank a whole fucking bottle of wine by myself and I'm like I'm wine drunk. You're such a bitch. And I'm like... And he has cats, dude.

I want a fucking girl. I have a lot of cats. Oh my God, you're saying... And I thought, I never... I never... I never kept up with dick technology before. Yeah. Like, I didn't know, like, where are they...

You didn't know about penis whitening, right? Where are they with... Because dudes that are confused, they'll chop their dick off, but the doctors will say, yo, if you change your mind, will build you another dick. What?

Oh, really? Yeah. You're telling me someone's making promises like that out there. Don't go to that down. Have you seen? Have you,

you know they're in the process of trying to make dicks. You know this. Yo, I bet it's like that Bill Gates 3D printed two. Don't get it.

That would be disappointing. Dude. People worry about AI. People worry about AI. Oh, AI is going to take over. AI ain't going to take over shit. They go, oh, AI writes music and lyrics. Kids write lyrics.

That ain't shit. That ain't. Yeah, it already wasn't. AI has no idea how to put together a fucking dick. No, you could, you know those data centers, you could link 100 of those data centers together. Go to Google. I googled it.

I was scared. I go, they're going to get me on the Google history. Because I'm like, I didn't know what it looked. I got where they at? Where are they at with dick technology? And I said, fuck, you know, I'm going to Doug Duck. Who's they? I'm going to Duck, Duck.

Go. The people, the scientists building dicks. I turn on my surf show. So I went on Duck, Duck, Go. Very important. And I'm like, fucking transgender dick. And I'm like, damn. Oh, that's what you mean.

Yeah, like rebuilding dicks. The people that change their mind. They rebuild their dick. If they look like white potatoes. They don't even work. Wait, are you talking about the ones? They look like Epstein dicks. Dude.

They are so not close to mastering. It's easier to land a man on Pluto than it is to build the dick. It's so hard. Building dicks as fucking hard as shit. Building pussies, that's easy. They make that shit.

To make a dick, to make a dick, it costs $250K. That works. And it doesn't even work. No, it doesn't work. There's no veins. You don't see veins. No helmet. No, like, you know, I like the elephant trunk.

You're European. You're from Estonia. They can't even, they're so far. That's the hardest thing. The fucking uncircumcised. AIs baffled. There's too many veins. You ask Ted.

G. and they go, it's too many veins. It's too many veins. A.I. comes back with that. They're not close, so don't worry about AI. We're fine. They're so far away. You can sleep at night now, folks. You can sleep at night. You can make a pussy.

Pussies are easy. Dix costs $250K. You can get a pussy for $3K. You can get a pussy for $3K. You take an exact on ice? I think Robert Lewis, Stevenson said it best. Only God can make a tree. You know what I'm saying?

Listen, I hate to stop the hot fake dick talk going on right now But I wanted to take AI ain't shit, that's it, AI ain't shit That's all That's a fucking nice button on that, okay? Let's get into, we have a microphone over here We're going to have the hot dick talk to a little Was like I couldn't stop that

That jump on my news My mailing list if you want to get updates on the latest Dick technology, okay? Go samtriplea.com We'll keep you in form. So here's what's going to happen. Hold on, hold on. So I want like three people.

Any three people who ever get over here, we're going to ask three questions from the crowd. If you come over here, just probably, you know he's going to the bathroom, or he's asking a question. Okay. Here we go. We got three people, 10 minutes of quick questions. Go first. First up, who's first?

Yeah, okay. Bring him the microphone. You got like a minute to ask a question. We'll answer it. No, he can hold it. They're not going to go. Okay, go on. So when's the fake alien invasion going to happen? When is the fake alien invasion?

It seems like they're trying to do it now. It seems like they're going for it. Every day, there's a new video panic. Is it before the end of summer? I don't know. But it looks like soon. Wait for that shit to pop off. It's going to go off.

I was hoping they were going to do it at the UFC, like bring a mothership hologram. And it's like, blow them. It's so bad. There's that psychic saying that it's going to happen at the World Cup. Yeah, the World Cup. Yeah. I know the World Cup, why not? Who's perfect?

Perfect. I would agree like that. Let's do it. It would be great if it was during Japan versus Korea and you don't even know it's aliens. You just think there are other Japanese and Korean players. Fucking that is. All right, dude.

Thank you, dude. Thank you, thank you. That's a handball. Oh, that's an alien. Come up next. Oh, shit. It is Klaus Schwab Jr. What happened?

your dad, we don't see him anymore. He disappeared. What happened to him? Well, he is taking different position of Starlink. They are making digitalization of his brain so that he can rule in different dimensions. Awesome. Eddie, this would be a good time to talk to

somebody who can actually get some Dick technology done. What's the latest with Dick technology? I'm so glad you ask. I remember Davos so you're 5,000. and George H.W. Bush and his little retired future president son came. You'll remember this man. And I did some drugs with Hunter Biden.

I woke up on Pentegram, you know, for treaty for you, for treaty. And Bridget McRan, Herr Macron came over, and she took it out and it had like a drill on this. And she started shape-shifting into different lizard forms. for you. And then she inserts this between my ash hole and my ball sack, correct?

Yes, and she, the drill went in and it just bloop, boop, she started laying eggs in there. Oh, it was an ovipositor and not a penis. So for three weeks, three voka, my stomach became expand from this.

And later, I gave birth to egg and I take care of this from the schvance of Bridget McRan and I keep it in an incubation like a good patient and then it makes spawning you know really and it tried to eat me as a way out but and then

um sex and 20 years later I see Nick Ventes making a good he was the baby yes it was a baby you heard of here bro Okay, hold on a minute. Way to God damn Nick.

No, you're going to piss off. You just... Okay, they might have bought this crap. Do you know, what... However, I happen to just see disclosure by Steven Spielboy! And I know that you just repeated word for word

the exact speech the chick says at the end of the movie. It's called plagiarism. It's against the law. He wrote it. He wrote it. What's going on it? We were leaking. We were leaking.

Leaking the same accent. The news lady? Leaking the information for you from different forms, yes? What's going on? Is Trump blackmailed by Netanyahu? Which one? Can you talk about the blackmail? What happened? Yes, there's different operations.

So there's a few different trumps that we use for this, and they all have different blackmail. It's like which one went to Epstein Island? Which one made the murder of the puppy? Which one, you know, made the sex change technology? It's like which one did what operation? you know, so sometimes they're more orange, sometimes less. It's very confusing. Yeah, that's standard trade.

How many Bidens were there? How many Bidens? Oh, Joe Biden, yeah, he died right before the election, so they make installation of some kind of humoid robots, and he would get lost. He would be walking around, so it's a White House. So he likes little girl hair, so we make little girl like hair, cigarette and that was the only way to get him back into the White House to say the bullshit on the teleprompter

What about Iran or is that the war really over or is it gonna keep going on it is everything's negotiation I will destroy you or my petrodon will go bankrupt or I will suck your dick or I will make blackmails of you It's like negotiation I will put a lizard baby egg in your belly potine for a treaty, you know, like just negotiation. Hey, what did your dad, Klaus, do that was so unethical that they booted him out of his position? Exactly, exactly, thank you.

Guys, give it up for Klaus Schwab, Jr. I could do that all night. I could do that all night. You know, normally, I don't like these Nepo babies, but Kla Schwab Jr. really brings swollen. Can we have another question here? We got five minutes, and then we're going to do Mom Crushbow. How do you follow that?

You just do Duck Dynasty, you just do. Maybe you start by accepting gays as your equal. Say it again. Sol Joe's in the house. Yes, dude, there we go. Dude, I love you, buddy.

I'm glad you're here. Okay. What are your guys' thoughts on maybe them forcing the end times prophecy? Loob it up first. Come on. Well, I think it's a total theater production of bullshit

and it's like these old guys are just, they're like, I'm 80, come on, bring it on. That was my Jewish accent, by the way. Johnny, you do your Jewish voice. Be like, I'm 80, come on. Now, you bring on the, bring on the old. Oh, my God. I feel like I'm back in New York City in the sewers right now.

Now, what was the Rebbe's question again? He was. Prophecy. Let's give up for Tunnel Jew, everybody. Tunnel Jew. It's like a Shakespeare play, you know, it's a Somers Stock. He looks like a Tunnel Jew undercover right now. Why to go talk to Goy?

What? I should be dressing like a Goy or something. He's asking, do you believe that they're astroturfing the end of days? I think they'd probably done it five or six times. Right, but they seem to think if it's, even if it's artificially done, it counts. You get what I'm saying? Yeah, no, I know. Right, but why would they do it?

What are you saying? They failed at five or six times? Yeah, I see. Okay. Until it works, right. Okay. Yeah. All right.

Probably more than once. So, Jeremiah, Skiba's up here. He does, he did a lot of our slides. Let's give it up for him. Big Jeremiah. I will be at TruthCon, December, November 7th in Dallas. he came on with his co-host Jake and they were talking about this

this you can sit down okay you're both Mexican it doesn't matter he was talking about in this one of the stories that didn't make it into the Bible about how there is

a certain number of souls that once humanity reaches that's when the judgment of Satan Well, why did it make it into the final cut? Because they are killing everybody off all the time. That makes more...

The book. The book, like the book of Enoch. Like, why didn't it make into... It just killed the flow of the book. Yeah, it sounds like it kills the whole flow of the book. Yeah, you know, the Bible is meant to be fun and festive. I don't go in for this extent universe. I go the original George Lucas universe only.

I don't believe in the Bible EU. So what do you think it's all made up? Well, I thought it was very interesting that someone said there's actually a battle over the third temple, that there's actually two factions fighting over where the third temple be. Well, this is some deep knowledge I'm going to give you right now, but the third temple is actually one of Trump's balls. Really?

Three bald man. It's going to cost $6 million to fix those balls. I can now reveal this prophecy I was given earlier. That isn't the ball that they're building? That is not their temple. That's right. I believe you. The ball room.

You suck your own dick, I believe you. Ah, ball, yeah. So there's a battle between the old ones, the tunnel Jews who want it in Israel. And then there's the tech pros who want it to be. The above ground Jews, yes. Yes, well, they're the ones who want to bring the whole surveillance system. AJ's versus T. You know, there's.

T. Okay, that's the battle right now. The AJ's above Jews versus the TJs. Have you heard their line about the tunnels, by the way? They're like, we were just expanding the church, the church, their whole line about it. I think they're a giant tunnel to the mikve bath, you know, where they go to a washer and clean period.

It was like a porky situation. Well, what about all those Jewish girls they found, say it again. We didn't hear it. Say it again. I think that the ritual mikva bath when you're on your people, for women or on their pyramid. On their pyramid? You know, these bras get on their dirty pyramids

and they go take a ritual back. I'm not Jewish, I was telling you about it's a beautiful faith. They go and they take a mikva. And the fellas... And they power wash it. They're digging a tunnel so they could dig and go carve a little hole and look at the mikva

like a Porky's type situation. Like reverse Gloryholes. Have you seen Porkies or not? Yes, I have. I miss it. Have you seen the VHS case for Porky's at least? Which is an eye looking through of a fucking mikvalhole. Or shower, as you go ahead and call it. Yes.

Goy is a new slur. I love it. Do we finally wipe people you have your N-word. You guys got to get? No. Thank you. Yes. No, but that's the thing.

You guys don't get mad. When someone calls you Goy, you guys take it. You got to get mad. Like, no, don't call me that. No, because we're... And then we'll not want to call you that. It's a blessing and a curse. Because we're educated.

That's why. why we don't get mad. No, you'd get mad. You'd get mad if, like, you know, a hardcore, remember that when you're at a waffle house and be like, oh, Sam was right. Sam was right.

If a dude with a yarmulka and with the curls on both sides, if he called you a goyam, would you be offended? Yeah. Of course. Wait, why, because the hat? No, because the ball.

Is goiam? Like, just white people are every non-Jew? Okay, can I tell you? It's really easy. You don't have the curls, but pretend you did. You call me a guy. Hey, shut up. You fucking goy?

Shut up, goof droop. That shit cut like a knife, dude. Goy could hurt. But it's quite all non-Jewish people are just white people. Cattle. Everybody, you're not. You're going. You're going.

Oh, shit. You're fucking Goyam. All the people here going on. That depends how much ham you got on that fucking bologna stick. We'll see how. I'm going hard. I'm Mexican, bro. There's no way I'm going.

I'm going. I'm definitely going on, dog. I'm going on. There's no way they're letting me in, dog. Yeah. At rest, your dick looks like a wasp nest. That's what... Well, my girlfriend said that.

It looks like a T-Moo-Wast nest. What do you call it? Snuffle-upicus? Yeah, this guy's got snuffalofus. Let's blame XG's parents here tonight that they didn't want to cut his dick. Thank you guys. It feels better.

You wouldn't know, but it feels better. You just told your mother your dick feels better. That's great. Do gals ever just try to knock it down with a hose when they see it? Ladies, when you, you know, every time you hook up with the guy for the first time, you pull the zipper down, you open the pants, and there's your Christmas gift. And you see a snuffle off against? Are you excited or scared?

Are you like, oh, my God, it's Candy Land or is it like a scene from like predator and alien where that thing's trying to impregnate you? What is it? What if it's, like, staring into the face of our... Shafir because I've been told. His dick looked like the amazing racist. It was so hot. All right

guys, what do you guys think if we announce the new inductees to the Mount Crusher. All right. Let's start off with the original OGs, the guys who made in the first 500. First of all, let's start off with Eddie Brahma. And then

our next one is Alex Jones. They're eating babies. They're in babies. And then the next one is Isaac Wysop. Oh. Classic. You're not in the descendant of the guy who started Illuminati.

Yitzhak. After that one, Matt LaCroi. Ancient history. No one better. Hey, dude, I am a descendant of Gilgamesh. We learned that. Armenians. Any Armos here besides me?

Those fucking Turks got all of us, dude. And then the final one, he did one appearance before, and he got on Mount Crushmore. Santos Finacci! All right, it's time to announce the next winners. Voted by the fans. We did not have any say in it. It was just you guys.

These were your favorite episodes. Don't mean they're better than anybody. Anybody on the show was great. But here we go. The first one up, the number one vote getters, the Nephilim Desquins. Number one vote getter, very proud of him. They went for it, dude. I love both those guys named after Animal Top Lobster and Raven.

They have a great show. They're kind of, you know, like Tim Foll Hat meets Legion of Skanks, and they're great. Next up is the one only Tony Merkel! Oh, Merkel. Merkle. I was just texting Merkel because that weird clown makeup guy in the front row with the roast battle.

Yeah, who was that guy? I don't know. I thought that was you and one of your characters. No. I wouldn't show up at somebody else's show with fucking the crow clown makeup and like a nice cowboy vest and hat

and just sit there like this. Did you ask him who? It sucked a life out of the whole room. Really? I say the picture. This is scary as hell. I said it to Merkel. And Merkel was the only guy I could text

that would know what I was talking about. He did. What was he talking about, Neffalim? It looks like a fucking high wizard. I'm not going to get into it. Okay. Merkel knew. But thanks for bringing it up and not wanting to talk about it. That's why he's on Mount Crushmore.

You got to subscribe to Merkel to hear the good shit. You got to pay up. All right. Are you guys ready for the next one? We're making history here. Here is the first ever female to make Mount Crushmore, Dr. Heather Lynn.

Our first Female inductee And then finally One of my favorite people on planet Earth To know him is to love him He's a supercomputer of conspiracies One of the funniest comics I know

Kirk Mow! You got the crown The crown of Bion, biong Beong Speech, speech, speech Speech, speech, speech, speech

I don't know what this is. Okay. First time I've ever heard of it. It looks like a cool monument. I hope it's on top of some native. This is, this was voted on the top four, and it ended up being five because of Nephlin Death Squad.

Look, what's great, look at this. Because you ever see the real one, Mount Rushmore? Yeah, I've heard of it. Is that like everybody's just next to each other? See, if you go see the real Mount Rushmore, they got them too close together. All of these presidents are mashed up dick to ass. It's fucking weird.

It's like the human centipede of fucking mountains. Well, not Lincoln. There's a gap. So you got Washington like this. And then Jefferson's like right over his shoulder. And then Teddy Roosevelt is like a time skip. And Teddy Roosevelt's just like cuddled in like a little teddy berry. Like you force himself into the mountain.

And then they're like excluding Lincoln who's just like a cuck over in the corner. Do you ever hear he's a Rothschild? Yeah, maybe. Like these. Like him and Hitler were both Rothschilds? I didn't hear the Hitler was, but I think he should be... You never heard that Hitler was a Rothschild. No, it sounds like a song by...

Yeah, it's a country music song. It's that Nancy Sinatra song. My grandparents were Rothschilds and now. Anyways, I don't want to do a Holocaust joke right there. Dana's in the room. She's texting me no. You know that crown gives me a bad rash on my head. What? Because you're not supposed to let, like, actual bullets.

touch their skin like that. Really? Yeah, I learned that the hard way. How long to take you to heel, Wolverine? I start wearing hats a lot more as well. It's healed up now, but just I'm just telling you to be careful. I don't know what Sean Moon has, but

I wish I could go to his Bulletcrown guy. So didn't a fan send you that and you're like it was shit? Danny Jones's prop guy, Todd. And Todd is sent me... Is prop guy? Is it what he said? Well, he makes all this shit. He's got a whole team.

This fool's got a whole team. This dude Dodd makes me a real podcast. Talk a big web. And so he's sending me a great cabala outfit that it's fucking bad shit looking. I mean, it's like a cross between snap crackle and pop and like Renaissance. I've been based on a real coppelist. Oh, I can't wait to show up in that. There's no preparing you for it.

Sitting the front row. Yeah. Yeah. And then I'm going to go to that fucking cow, whatever rodeo, that fucking clam cowboy works at. He's sitting right up front while he's trying to not have his testicles crushed by a bull. Distracted.

Piece of shit. Come on with my fucking show with clown makeup and not smiling me, motherfucker. What the fuck's wrong with you? So let's see the final 10 who made it to the Mount Crushmore, everybody voted on by you. There it is. The top

100 guests, the top 10 guests from the first thousandth episode guys we did it that was the episode what did you guys think are you just leaving any thoughts any

final thoughts on the last thousandth and whether we do another thousand I just hope the native peoples of that area look up at that and just knowing their hearts they ain't never getting this land back it's called land a gone to

Donald's me. It surely on that we took and you're not ever getting it back. Amen. I love that character. Shy Kurt Metzker. That's a fun character. What? Shy kid that sucks his own dick. I mean, we really are near a Highlander

right now. Eddie, final thoughts? Thank you guys for coming. Hopefully we don't all die in World War III and we have many joyous days ahead. of us, but who the fuck knows? I don't know what's going on. I'm not claiming

to know shit. I don't know who's running the world. There's so many sciops going on. I don't know shit. Whip out the bosoms in my... I know what bosom is. Who doesn't know what bosom means. Tiddies, Doc. Now you learn something. Kurt, final thoughts.

Anything at all? What'd you say? Thank you. Let's give it up for the fucking fairy in the audience. My God, is Tinkerbell out there? I thought there's a psychopath

because you can't therapy it away. I love it. Give it up for that lady the balls to say that. Thank you. We all need a little more therapy. She certainly not a qualified therapist because they'd tell you that wouldn't work.

Yeah, how do you know? She might be trying to get more work. Like, hey, there's a bunch of psychopaths in this crowd. I'm just saying they're therapy. They're supposed to be untreatable. We'll tell you two things you can't fix. Foot fetish guy and a psychopath.

Now there's creeps out there that think that feet are like the tits of the legs. They exist. That's crazy. That's not the people look at... You can't... There ain't no conversion therapy for that. Hollipoint's the only thing that could cure it. That's a therapy I got.

You know, a hobo complimented Jenna's feet like a month ago, and I pulled a clock on him, dude. I would kill you if you compliment my guy. You kill you if you compliment my face. It's like a virus, right? Maybe that's the virus that they get us with. No one's having sex anymore. We're just sucking on toes.

Because they think that you don't realize. They're like, oh, he's fine. He just said, feet. I know what you're up to. Fucking prick. Thank you for that final thought. Xavier, you've been on the show since a very long time. Final thoughts on the 1,000 steps.

Same team, baby. Don't forget to hit that light button. Subscribe. For everybody watching at home, you for people watching here and we'll see you guys for episode 2,000. Let's kill it out. Yeah, thank you guys. Yeah, thank you everybody for obviously without all of you. Yeah, none of this show would be happening.

So we appreciate that. Sam, I just, again, want to thank you for bringing me into this crazy situation. And yeah, 500 more. Let's do it, man. Let's do it, do it. That's right. So real quick, I want to thank a couple people. I want to thank Wise Wolf, Golden Silver. They've been sponsoring us forever. They make the show happen.

I just go to samtriplea.g. And support that guy. Tony is one of the best, and he's stuck with us through everything. So thank you very much. One more time, I give her a lot of shit, but I love her to death. I want to thank Dana Marshall. Love you, Dana. For keeping the train on the tracks.

We love her very much. Sometimes she drives me nuts, but we're an old couple, and that's what old couples do. Without her, I wouldn't be here. Without her, the show wouldn't be happening. One more time for Dana Marshall. And I want to thank our friends from Backyard for helping us with the show. They help us, you know, they help me feed my kids and keep the fucking lights on.

And without them, I'd be fucking homeless and in jail because I would have the baby mama put me in jail for that. So give it up for backyards for helping us. I love them very much and I'm very appreciative of them. And one more time, I know I think. them already, but I want to thank all the staff everybody, Keeno in the back who fucking made this whole slide show be able to happen. Thank you very

much, Keeno. Thank you to the staff at the mothership. Thank you Adam E. Giff, for always being kind to me even when I was a tweaking retard. I want to thank Joe Rogan. I mean, Joe Rogan's constantly getting shit on the internet. He's one of the nicest guys out there. He's helped more people. The Tree of Rogan is littered

with their... Well, I'll fucking chimp out of you, go, Rogan. I will too. I can't. Say something about Rogan, move forward. Joe Rogan saved my life, and I'm very thankful that he was nice enough for us to celebrate. I think, our, um... So, final thank you.

Thank you, Jesus Christ. Thank you. Thank you to my mother and father for her not giving up with me when I got a... when I flung first grade. And I want to say, finally, thank you to the swarm for always fucking being there. It's almost 10 years old. You guys changed my life. my life. Without you, I wouldn't be here. Without you guys, I'd just be talking to myself. I love

everybody on stage. I love everybody in the audience. We're going to be out there meeting everybody. I love you all very much. God bless and take care. Here's to another thousand episodes. Thank you guys very much. Thank you guys very much. We love you guys. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Thanks for coming, everybody. Take care. your mind. The fountain of knowledge. There's lizard people everywhere. That's some interdimensional shit.

This is only the beginning. Dude, you just blew my mind. Tim Foil hack.