Tin Foil Hat With Sam Tripoli - The International Bad Boys Hour Ep 56: Smoothie Punch Cards with Feng Chao!

Episode Date: May 10, 2016

Welcome to another exciting episode of The International Bad Boys Hour! Sam and Steve are back in the studio with guns a blazing! Sam discusses his MTV taping and Steve goes off about never selling out to the man. The International Bad Boys then welcome Comedy Store legend Feng Chao to the show. Feng talk about getting white chicks pregnant, Russian hookers, 3rd shift monsters and he has some serious words for the Palmers! All of this and more on latest International Bad Boys Hour! Thank you so much for listening and please let us know what you think. Listen, Learn Rate and Review!!! Thank you for your support!

Sorry, I'm gonna go for it. Come on mic up. Ready on the right. Come down, niggin'a, come down, nigga. Come down, niggin', ya'a'a'lip. Let go, ni'a'li'e'li'e'a'li'e'a'e'a'e'e'a'e'e'a'e'e'e'e'e'e, t'e'e'e'e'e, the, to'e, th, th'e, th'e, th'e, th'e, th'e, th'e, th'e, th'e, th'e, th'e'e, the th' are not at home. Hour of power. We are back in. I listened to, thank you, Steve, for bringing the heat last week with me,

taking a little break from comedy. I had to take a little time off from stand up. Yeah, well, thanks for trusting. You know, I had fun. Vegas Kevin says you're going to be a superstar. Thank you, Vegas, Vegas, Vegas. Thank you Vegas, Vegas, Vegas. Thank you, thin, because he's from Canada, but he loves Vegas. Who doesn't love Vegas? I know, but everybody loves Vegas. I'm thinking about having a place there and a place here. Do you get a place there, the last time I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I was, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. that, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Vegas, th. Vegas, th. Vegas, th. Vegas, Vegas, Vegas, Vegas, Vegas, Vegas, Vegas, Vegas, th. Vegas, th. th. th. th. th. th. Thank, th. th. Thank, th. Thank, th. Thank, th. Thank, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. Thank, tha get a place there the last time I was there was on Redfin? You like that real estate app? Yeah. You can just plug it in, push wherever you're at. There's houses for like 170,000. I'm telling you, I'm telling you, that's a payment of like $500 a month. Yeah, $500 a month you could have a house. You want to, hey, for $250, $2.50, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm $, I'm $, I'm $, I'm $, I'm $, I'm $, I'm $, I'm $,000.00.00. th. there, I there, I there, I there, I there, I there, I there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there's $, $, $, $, $, $,000.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00. There's $, there's $ $, there's $.00.00.00.00. there's $. there's $.00.00.00. there's $.00. There's $, guys, real quick, this show is not possible with our good friends from Donut Time. Donut Time, located on Highland and Santa Monica. Home of the Bear Claw! How

do you find it? Well, you know, you go down, well it depends on where you're coming from, but just, it's located at 995672 Santa Monica Boulevard. Just go down. Now, if you can't find it, look for the tranny hookers. Well, th. th. th. th. to to to to to to the, th. th. the, th. th. th. th. th. th. the, th. th. th. th. th. th. to, to, to, to th. to thi, the the th. th. to, th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the the the th. the the th. th. th. th. th. the thi, thi, thi. thi. thin, to, too. too. toooooo. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. today, today, tod can't find it, look for the tranny hookers. That's what it is. Also, check in with Susie Cutty behind the counter. Tell her to give you your bad boys. Do shout out to the bad boys. 10% discount? Can't guarantee that.

Can't guarantee it. But dude, really love the tranies? What's that? Is the freshness of the of the donuts. It's always fresh. It's always for, well if there's one thing tranies know other than giving head it, it's it's a good donut. Yeah, tranies will not stand for a bad donut. Hey, you want to put a, you know what I mean? It's like, it's like you want you you you you want to put to put to put a to put a the donut the donut the donut the donut the hippies are happy. Yeah, right? And the train, I think we should just, we should shoot commercial. An unofficial commercial. Donutime commercial. Bring it to Susie Cutie and say if all the tranies would like to throw in, like, help us.

Damn, that's, I would love. Let's see if Ari will you tell us how much you love training, love donut time? Oh yeah, like, dude, that's funny man. Come for the bear claw, stay for the shade. Yeah, come for the bear call, stay for the shade. Oh girl. Steve, what do you been up to? I've been doing. I've been the been doing a lot of stand-up. I've been I've been writing a lot of scripts I've been doing that's all I'm doing I've had a lot of great stuff going on But it's all like kind of like it's down the pike. Don't talk about it if if it hasn't happened. Yeah I agree. All my books on success and the mat you know a great book here's a great book. Here's the beauty of the YouTube. the, thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. th. th. the the the th. the th. the the th. th. the the th. the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I' th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've the. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. to something, you're in your car, you know, you're like, all right, I'm podcasted out. Just go on YouTube and listen to the, I think it's Claude M. Bristol, the magic of believing. And Liberace's, and there was a museum, like a whole showcase to lib-achi. In the very corner there's a little audio tape, my friend, my thape, my th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin, th. thin, thin, thin, th. th. their, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just, just. Just. Just. Just. Just, I. Just. th. Just. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the, I. the, I. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the the th. the th. th. owe all my success to this book and it's here on tape you could buy it. And I listen to it and it's incredible. It's like a it's called the magic of believing and it's great.

It's an audio book. It's an audio book. Yeah so you can just get on YouTube for free. Just go type in magic of believing. The full things about an hour. I'm sure that. I love it and one time he's like I was on a troop train coming back in World War I I didn't have a candy a cigarette or anything any of the like I looked around and I realized one day I would have a lot of money like it's like it's good vibes up that bad vibe but he's like and it was just the magic of bleeding you know what I really love to listen to I love to read thinking grow rich but so funny because is somebody. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. their. their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their is their. their. their. their. their. their. is their. is their. is. is. is. their. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's the the the ttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt. the do is I love to listen to I love to read thinking grow rich But so funny because is somebody knocking come in come in Yeah, I think somebody's trying to get it. I love to read it But it was written like in 1920s. Yes, so it's like this young negro man came into the place Yeah, and it was hanging out and he did Negro things but he believed

in his negroness. You know, and then this tiny oriental woman walked in and she didn't take no for an answer. You know why she was successful? Because that oriental woman believed in herself. No, that's totally true. No, I read that book too. It's from the same generation. They just talk like it, but the, but the, it's, yeah, it's date, the language is dated, but it's, it all goes back to belief.

Whatever you believe in yourself, you know, Feng Chahoo will be on in a little bit. And a little bit. He believes in that and he believes in himself. Whatever you believe in, agree with that I'm trying my hardest not to because this towns all about guess what I got going on guess what I got going on but the people believe I got that going on people who really have going on dude Jesleneck doesn't go around telling people what he's got going on you see it when it's to you know what I mean I to the the the don't say like, hey, you know what I have going on?

The only time I talk about what I'm going on is if I'm trying to pitch myself to somebody that I want to work with. Okay. So I'll be like, I got this, I got this, I got this, and I all about, hey dude, I hate that, you know, especially at the store sometimes, you gotta fucking run your fucking... I don't do it anymore. Flag up the pole. Yeah. Can I talk about, where are you going to be at the comedy store? I love you. I'm gonna be at the comedy store. I won't be at the comedy store. I won't be doing Harvel's. I don't be at the comedy store. I. I. I. I to'm not going to be at Harvard. I said I would go back there. I know, well you have to go back. I heard from a little Bertie,

you're getting a phone call from a 305 that's a Miami number where I'm thinking cocaine? I heard, no, let's not talk about cocaine. to go on, I'm doing, I'm not, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I heard, heard, heard, heard, heard, heard, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thr, heard, heard, heard, heard, I heard, I heard, I heard, I heard, I'm what I was saying. Oh, okay, on, um, God damn it, I don't know what I'm doing. I'm doing a few podcasts, I'm doing a few shows, I didn't come in with my dates out of the gates. I'm gonna, sorry for that. But also, would you add me on Facebook? Can I just, can I just plug that? Plug away, dog? Okay, S-T-E-E-E-N, R-D-D-D-E, R, R, R, R, S-D-D-D-D-E-E-E-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-A-S-S-S-S-S-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-S, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I, I'm sorry, I, I'm sorry, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-S-A-A-A-A-S-A-A-A-S-A-A-A-S-A-A-S-A-A-I-A-I-I-I-A-I-A-A-S-T-T-T It's also Stephen Randolph 2 on Instagram and Twitter hit me up. I respect that we do really quickly

And then you get your dates out of the gates. Yeah Really quickly There is a fan that makes great great great great little 15-second Instagram videos. We need you. I forgot what your name is. I can't Sam or I both can't find you in the emails. We have a couple of them up on our account You said you were gonna buy a stickers and a just didn't have you where are we the to to the to to the the to to the the to their their their to their their their to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th th I? their their thi? thi? I th. th. th. th. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. I I. We. We. We. We. I. We. th. I. th. th. th. th. th. teea. tea. tea. tea. tea. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th up on our accounts. You said you're gonna buy a stickers and a just didn't have... Where are you? Where are you? We love your videos. We need your videos. We need videos. My buddy runs the all the social media for all things comedy and the comedy store and he needs you too. So call us man it's fucking the pot we all need you. We all need you. So I want be at the UC Irvine Comedy Festival this Friday night. It's not my show.

I'm getting booked in it. I'm sure I'm going to be at the comedy store, be at the, hopefully the Ha Ha-ha, the comedy store this weekend. And listen, I am now working on doing private shows, meaning, let's say you got a birthday, you got a big event coming up. Bachelor party. You want want th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. th. I thi-a-a-up-upe-upin, tho-upo-up-upon-o-upi-upi-upi-upi-upi-upi-upi-upi-upi-upi-upi-upon. I's thozy. I's thoom. I's, tho. I's, th. I's, th. I's, th. I I's, th. I. I. I. I. I. I's-n. I. I-n. I-n. I-n. I-n. I-n. I-a-n. I-n. I-a-s-s-s-s-s. I'm-s. I'm-a-s. I'm-a-a-s. I'm-s. I'm-s. I'm tho-s. I'm thoooooooooooome. I'm tho-s. I'm a big event coming up. Bachelor party. You bachelor party. You want somebody to roast your buddies. Call me. Now I had a nice guy from Sweden hit me up. Offer me $500 come to Sweden. And playing tickets? We didn't. But the point is this. I appreciate the offer. I love you very much. We'll work out numbers. But I can come out and rock. Why go to Comcup? Why not come, have me come

to your house? Rock in your living room. Rock at your wedding. I guarantee you an hour of power. You will be cool with your friends. You'll bang all the bitches. They'll be like, you brought out Sam Tripoli. He was in my living room. Let me fucking crush that. Did I try to fuck. Did I try to fuck? Did I try try try try to to th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do. Do. Do. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their. Rock. Rock. Rock. Rock. Rock. Rock. Rock. Rock. Rock. their. th. their. th. th. R. R. th. th. thr. to. to. to. try. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to bro. Always. I walk in for who can I fuck and to point them out. I've heard you do that before. Yeah, that's what I do. I walk in, who can I fuck? Real quick, want to get into my week? Yeah, let's do it. I shop for MTV last Thursday. How to go? It was fun. thu. to thi. tho. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to. to. thi. thi. tho. tho. tho. to. tho. tho. thi. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. th. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. to. Who. I. Who. to. to. Who to. Who to. Who to. Who to. Who to. to. to. to. to. to. I to. to. th. I to. I th. I th 40 year old on. Yeah we love that they sure don't put music on. They're starting to do you know because Prince passed away they started running videos they got such huge numbers they're like maybe we should do videos. Wait music television is running music crazy. No 100% I'll

tell you what happened MTV and I'll get my thing. Jack-A-TV no it wasn't even just Jack-D was it was tom-I was just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just. I I I I I I I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. they. the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. they're just. they're just. they're just. they're just. It was just. It was just. It was just. It was just. It was just. It was just. It was just. It was just. It was just. It was just. It was just. It was just. It was just. It was just. It was just. It was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I was just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just. I. I was just just just. I'm not even even even even even even even even even th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm gonna say something fucking am I, I love the gay community, it became too, too gay. They were just doing every show is about bisexual, biracial high school kids making out with each other. And then nobody, no, I'm not against it teach their own. I don't hate it. I'm not saying it's jerked off to it, but when I turn on MTV, that's Steve, I want to listen to... Well, it's just like, you know, television's such an interesting because it only play... It's like, it's just, it's trying to get an agenda across sometimes. Instead of being what it's meant to be, which is, like, television and movies are so different. They gotta get to get you. they're trying to to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to movie theater so they got cast a huge net so they're trying to appeal to you with television's like no we want these people to be seen and they're trying to push out

what I consider an agenda garbage every every channel it's it's all like a bunch of sheep and they're just like what do we want do you know how many right after workaholics came out um I took a few meetings just like three, four, different big, big studios with my buddy Bill and my buddy Dodd and they're like, basically, we're gonna be real honest. What we're looking for is a workaholic. So we go, oh cool, okay, like a show like work, we're basically looking for, and all four networks they're like, that worked, that accidentally roll, the dice worked. So now we're trying to get a weird black dude, a weird, a w w wa. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. weird black dude, a weird white dude, a gay dude who just says the craziest things and they're all going to work together and get in some silly situations. Is that you guys? I'm like, fuck you, dude. Yeah, yeah, well welcome to Hollywood. So anyways, so I do MTV and it's a lot of fun, but here's the craziest.

It's a storytelling show, right? Fair enough. They wouldn't have they. th. tha. their their their their their they. their they. their th. th. th. th. thatheatheatheatheatheatheatheat. th. th. th. th. I. I. to to to to to to to th. th. I, th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. I. I. I, I. I, I. I. I, I, I, I, I, th. I, th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I'm about to do this show. And so I'm supposed to close it out, which is the story of my life. I'm always going last in the show. By the miracle of God, which I think is an miracle at this time, I get asked to go earlier in the show. It's like a large black crowd. I was supposed to follow the sassy black chick, very funny lady, very cool.

I get moved to the second show, I go from last, I get moved, I have to follow Lil Esther. And I'm like, oh, that's fun. That's a different kind of work that I got put in. So the guy who's open for a show is some dude from Chicago. I forget his name. Very funny guy. He's going up, he's doing the thi. to do. to do. the to do. to do. thi. thi. thi. to do. thi. thi. to do. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to do, to follow, it's, it's the same. their, their, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, their. I'm, I'm, I'm their. I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's, th. I's, th. I's, th. I's, th. thi. I's, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. the the the the thi. the thi. I forget his name. Very funny guy. He's going up, he's doing his set. You're supposed to do 10 minutes. They're like, do not go over 10 minutes. We're like, okay. He's doing his set. Halfway through his set, one of the producers comes down because Lil Esther's waiting and I'm waiting with her. Comes down to us five minutes. Five minutes before Lil Esther's about to go up, goes to us. And I'm like, to to to to to thiii, thi, thi, thi, thi, okay, okay, thi, okay, okay, okay, thi, okay, okay, okay, okay, thi, okay, okay, okay, thi, okay, okay, th, okay, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, th, th, th, th, they, they, they, they, the, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, like, like, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, do th, do thi, do thi, do tho, do tho, do not tho, do not to to to to to we need you to cut your set only do five minutes I'm like what he's like only do five minutes. I'm like what what I'm about to go do national television You want me to edit on the go. I'm up on stage in five minutes. You're asking me to edit my act? Yep, and fuck. I'm the ed it my act. I do? I go out. I forget one line in my opening joke and then after that? th th that? that? that? that. that. that. that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the th. the the the the the the th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. to to to to the to to the the the the the the the th, I forget one line in my opening joke, and then after that, start, I've just murdered. You do well on television. You always told me that I've seen your stuff on TV.

The only time it doesn't go well and it's been once is because the production company was dog shit. This was a great production company, they did great, it's fun. And the reason I get mad is because it's a storytelling show, right? Yeah. It's like you're supposed to tell you to tell you about doing that show. Can I tell you my experience about doing it? Well, then let me finish. So, so we're doing a storytelling show, and for each time cut my set, so that's one less story I could tell. Oh wow. So it's like fuck so now I'm rushing through to get as many stories out as possible. So I got all the stories

I got two out of the three stories I was going to tell. In five minutes? Yeah. Two stories? Yeah. On TV? Because they were really stories they were just like epic rants. They were like, they. tha. T that's. T. T. T. That's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. th. th. that's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I I I I I th. I I I th. I th. I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I the. I the. I the. I's. I's. I's the. I the. I th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. the. th. the. th. th. th. the. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the For me that, because like the stories I wanted to tell, there's like no drugs. I'm like it's MTV. You were built on drugs. I I got that addition to like I got the first phone audition. They saw me at potluck or whatever and was like, hey we'd love to see this MTV. We'd love to get on a phone with you about tellain some stories. I said okay, I'm thagee thage th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thsoed thsoed thsoed thsoed tho tho tho tho tho' tho' tho' thate, tho the. I got tho' tho' tho th. I got th. I got th. I got th. I got th. I've th. I've the. I the. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I was th. I was th. I'm th. It's th. I'm th. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. It's th. It's theee. It's the. It's the. What do you got? I told him a couple of my stories, they're like, hilarious, hilarious. Okay, we're gonna call you back, okay? With my producers, they call back, Steve, love the stories. Instead of cocaine, can it be weed, and instead of this, can it be like, maybe she was in a bikin. And I was like, no. no, sell real estate.

But you did quit real estate to tour and do a credit on TV is a credit on TV. You know what was weird? I was smoking gonged. Now I'm talking about crystal buds from Vancouver when it was really hookers and bloc-no? No, no. You don't go to Slayer and say hey, instead of talking about to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to thi. toeeeea. toea. toea. toea. toea. thi. thi gore, why don't you just say you got a little dirty in the trash can? Fuck that. All right, all right. Hey, Steve, we love the story. Quick shout out real quick. But that's cool. That's cool.

Why are you so angry? Why, if you don't agree with that decision, why are you so angry? . . If you don't agree with that decision, why are you so angry right now? Because it's fear. We all know anger is fear, Sam. Let me tell you, yes, anger is fear. Yes, it is. You know what I'm afraid of? I'm not going to get on TV doing the shit that I want to do.

And I got to play fucking little magic elf games. Well, some people play the game, and some people don't play the is how can you do what you want to do? Why getting it on television? Dude, you could be a treaty of... Write my own shit and take... No. This is heartbreaking. Look how angry he's getting! Because my heart's broken right now. All right.

While Steve Simmers over there, contemplating going on a rampage, I want to do a quick shout out to a young lady, I'm not going to say her last name. Martha Ann, okay? Martha was nice enough. She wrote to All Things Comedy about her podcast. Dear All Things Comedy, your podcast means so much to me. I've listened to every crab feast and most of Sam and Steve's international bad boys Howard. Jay, Ryan, Ryan Sickler, that'd be Sam and Steve, have kept me sane while I was struggling

with addiction, depression, and anxiety that so many people seem to face. Healing with comedy really is amazing. I listened to something that you produce almost every day and I had to reach out and let you know that you have had an impact. You have impacted my life in such a positive way. I would go through. She then she talks like I can't really give you anything to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, positive way. I would go through, she then she talks, like I can't really give you anything, I'm financially broke.

No, it's okay. And we don't need anything. She does say she's a 27-year-old woman, so I mean, we could work something now. We can't work something out. to the world to us. I don't know if you want us to read it, but I felt like reading it because it's just nice. That's the stuff to get you going. I've read the comments on iTunes. They're so nice. Everybody loves the international bad boys.

I love doing this show. You know like when last week we're like- Well, that's what I got is replacing you. I'm sorry about that. It's like everything in China. Just like every- No, sit down, dude, it's a joke. All right, all right. Sensitive, Steve, he's so fucking sensitive. No, I'm gonna just water myself down. I want to get on TV. I'm gonna, hey, hey guys, freaking, it's freaking weird out there, right? I was, uh, all right. All right. All right. All right. Is that what I have to do? No, it's like dude. I could be up there all day just doing bits about smoking crack with robots.

Yes. But if it's you got to get on. I don't care who you are. All right. There's an element of television that you have to do. The last guy to blow up off a no TV. maybe, maybe, Jim Jeffries, maybe, but still, he did fucking, he did, down and dirty, then he did an hour special on Comedy Central, and he plays within a fucking parameter. Even as edgy as that guy is, if you watch him, it's within a parameter. I saw him at the K-Rock show four or five years ago,

fucking scorch earth in front of like 8,000 people at that Universal. Right, right, right. Right. I'm just telling you, dude. All right, well, I'm just tell. Well, I'm just heartbroken. I'm just a little frustrated.

It's not the end of the world. Get on the board, that's all I'm going to get on the board. Let me think about it. Oh really quickly so you so I had a reality check my Danny Gypsy Danny, Gypsy Danny. Yeah, Jipsy Danny says what's up? Tell him hello. He loves you. He said he said he said hello. He said he said hello to you. He goes all right. So your vision of being a world famous actor and comedian he goes how much so that's your vision, right? He goes. How much time are you spend on your vision? the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the world famous actor and comedian. He goes, how much, so that's your vision, right? He goes, how much time are you spending on your vision a week? Okay, I'm like, fuck, dude, an hour at the podcast, I don't have podcast, six minutes here on stage, it's really not that much. And also another thing that I'm confusing with,

doing stand up, that isn end going, look at my muscles. That's the exhibition of all the hard work you'd done. I'm not sitting there for two, three, four hours a day working my ass off, then going to the store being like, hey, look what I created. What do I mean? Like, are you not writing? I'm writing every day all the two hours every day, seven days a week, one to two hours, and that's enough. After two hours, right, and I'm like, I'm done, I'm cool, I can go, so I just wanted to share that with you

that, with the reality check of like, hey, what's your goal? Oh, this is my goal. How much time a week? And you're like, I was just confusing, thinking about my dreams a lot with the actual time. I'm working my ass off, but there's the time in your dingy apartment with your laptop and a notebook, that's when it, that's when careers are made. Yeah, you got crimes. Yeah, I'm committing to that.

I try to write an hour a day. I mean, I'm writing every day on projects. Sometimes twice a day, then I go home, and I try to just, you do? You know, there's an old Seinfeld rule, he says write three jokes a day. Wow. Sometimes it's not going to be the best. Sometimes they won't even. But just sitting down and I think, you get the point of that. Right. A little anxiety will come.

Right. Right. you're like it's called knob turning or something because you're like oh I got to make my bed yeah you sit down and write it all the time got to go in the refrigerator yeah got to go jack off yeah oh is that what's that outside call turning the knob you know what I wanted to do is I want to get a weekly show in a belly room and what I want to do yeah is start blank piece of paper and just write an hour for that every every every every every every every every every to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to that to to to to to to to to to to that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that to to to that that th. that the th. I th. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's an hour for that every not every week I do I work on an hour set every week not doing hour but work on the jokes and then at the week 53 I record an album oh that be cool that'd be really cool record a belly room fucking hour power power hour just record it

and that's what we got to do by the way my show smack is back June 1st the all crowdwork show and thanks to you guys I have some new rules no you did great thank you you did great too but you didn't do it by the rules so the new rules you're telling me funchow didn't play by the rule please want you want you introduce our guests guys one on your headphones be a fucking human being one one of my the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th the th the th th th th th th th. th. the thus the thus thus thus thus thus thus thus the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th is th is the th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. the th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the 't play by the rule. Please, why don't you introduce our guests? Put on your headphones, be a fucking human being. One of my best friends in the world, he's absolutely hilarious. He works at the comedy store, he's a rising star, just went on the road with him, him and Jodash and Fresno.

One of the funniest guys, he's been requested probably about 10 times to be on this show. He is a true true true probably true probably about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about t. Hea. He's t. He is a true international bad boy hailing out of Beijing, China, fighting by the way of Hollywood, East Hollywood, put your hands together for Fung Chow. Fung Chow. Welcome, Wung Chow. I love you, Fung Chow. Si-Ivo-In'u. Oh, man. You did not say that, dude. to say back to him. Sam, do you have anything to say back to him?? I? I? I? I? I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. thia. to to to to to thi. to to to to to thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. East, East, East, East, East, East, East, East, East, East. their their their their their their their their the. their their their the. the way. the. the. their the way. thea. their thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. toea. East Hollywood, East Hollywood, East Ha. that dude. Not cool. Damn, Sam knows what you just said. Sam, do you have anything to say back to him? I just ordered a couple of smoothie punch cards for us, if you know what I'm saying? A smoothie, pretty smooth.

You are such gold, dude. My Instagram DM is filled up, not with hot chicks that want to fuck me. Dude, when I'm not. Never. What is that, is that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thi- thi- they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they. Do they they they they they. Do, do they. Do, do the the the the the the the the the the th. Do, the the th. Do, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Sam, thi. Sam, thi. thi. thi. to have to have thi. Do, you when do you sleep, Feng Chau? Never. Never, dude, what is that? Is that that Chinese coffee with those Chinese cigarettes? Oh, Chinese cigarettes for real, bro, yeah, they really are. I just wanted to tell you all those hot chicks, tell them to get back in line. Damn, how many, how many roses? I got all the roses in the world. Dude, you're fucking great.

So let's get into some shit real quick. Like did I first meet you at Flappers? Is that where I met you? I think so. No, I did it. You said, didn't I say something like you were funny? Yeah, you're like, your joke is hilarious. Just keep doing what you're doing. I've seen you at the store and I've seen you go up

and I know you're like, you're the guy who doesn't give a fuck. Yeah. And it's kind of like, like, I was kind of like a pussy to talk to you like, oh that guy seems like he's gonna fucking murder me. Like, I've been told I have dark energy and I don't know why. I mean like I'm pretty dark too, but uh, yeah, it's like I did that because They picked me and then you walked in so you kind of you went up after me like you were cool enough to like tell me After your side like your set was great and like thank you. That's fucking Sam Tripoli. Yeah, I watch you at a flappers. I knew you were funny then, and you're good. I thrown. I that. I thu. I thr-I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th funny then. And you're good, man. You know what? You all, I love your style. I think, honestly, you're a great, I love your writing. And that's one thing I'll tell you about you. You don't waste any time and you're writing. But anyways, how do you go from Beijing? And no disrespect, but I'm Shanghai till I die. I love Shanghai. I've had a todied, to to to to to to to be, to to be, to to to to to their, to be, their, tha, to tha, their, tha, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, I'm, I, I'm, that, that, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm, I, I, I'm, I, I, I'm, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, try.a, ta, try.a, try.a, try.a, tha, thr. I'm a great, I'm a. Sam brought back a Chinese fighter helmet that I used to wear constantly.

We used to have a character named Captain Danger and basically we did a trivia show at Matsumi Max and every time she got an answer wrong, a pet house pet the year would fucking belt him and the ass. I was done. It's so funny because he was in, he's into bondage. He loves BDSM so I'm like, hey dude. Well I just like fuck it dude. Who run? I like, back then you were into BDSM. You were talking a lot about it. Well, I was just into just getting smacked and fuck all over the country no dude I like I wasn't yes yes yes I gave you

you opportunity I gave you spoken like a true sleaze ball oh so wrong you with a big cigarity mouth like PT Barnum I gave you opportunity I did Jesus Christ I did I gave you you you've given me a lot of opportunity all you've me a lot of opportunity. All you've talked about was like you liked bondage. You were into it. You were meet with BDSM women. You were doing coke and getting fisted once.

There's some shit like that. And I go, wow, this guy likes getting his ass bee. But I'm going to have one of the hottest women on the planet with the biggest tip I did it for two months. Yeah, and then you chickened out. Yeah, but then we're, then we go up to Santa Barbara and the crowd is six people and I'm getting my ass whipped by some fucking porn star for six dudes and I took a night off work and then there's just some fat guy in the front going, yeah, whip it harder and I'm likeierro, does he still do stand-up? Yeah, he runs the, uh, the hostile. Do you guys ever go do the hostile?

No, do you? Because you are not real comic. I do that all the time. Oh, snap. Oh, snap. Is it like a free for all for the podcast? You can free for to say? Yeah, but no end words buddy because we know they're coming dude. You know what? We know they're coming once or twice. I mean we do open up with a song that drops about five and but. Here's the thing. I think it has meaning behind it.

Randolph is such a dear friend to me and for him to make it in this business he just need to take good care of his n-word dick. So he should you can say the real thing with a nigger dick to just take care of your nigger dick you're gonna be fine what does that mean though what does that mean use your head don't use your nigger dick to think stay focused you can't get distracted you're making our midwestern white guy very uncomfortable oh you know what you're welcome everybody no but why do you say that word? Do you think because you're Chinese you can get away with it more? Is that what it is?

No, that's just being real. Okay. Drop an imbomb is a real? Yeah. Okay. I like to be called in bed. I just like to be called Funchaulchau when the girl comes. Really? Yeah. You just like she only white girls and black girls for you huh? I like a lot of black chicks? I have. Yeah. It's got to be so interesting. What was that kid come out looking Mexican? Yeah well you know what the future of USA

is in my dick? It is we need to get more half Chinese half white babies have have Chinese have black babies and have Chinese have lat you know, black babies, and have Chinese have Latina babies. Those babies are from the future. You don't see that mix a lot. You don't see a lot of Mexicans with Asians. Ooh, they're be hot. Yeah.

Yeah. No, you don't see a lot. I've noticing a lot of Mexican girls with Asian features, and I've been noticing a lot of black girls there's a certain type of black girl or black person man or woman you could see Asian features have you ever seen and you're like where did that come from? I think Asian I think black women are so hot and I feel like they change I like mixed black women I like I like either like pitch black or super like you're an extremist I like yeah but I feel like sisters have like like, changed their game up a little bit.

How so? Like, I feel like before they were always like, you know, I'm a strong black woman and you know, they try to do that. Now what is it? Now it's like they're playing the game. They, it's the cardits the dits I like black dingdongs dude I like black chicks who are kind of like they would be blondes you like Chrissy from Three's company I like black dits I like I just like women yeah

me too so let's how do you can how do you end up at the comedy story what is that journey from Beijing and like th do stand-up in China I'm getting another date from the guys out there I love to do stand-up out there but how do you how do you end up here long story short I was you got an hour I am I fell in love with a white girl and I knocked her up and then we have a kid and then we we are here it's the kid... Yeah. Oh, she American? Yeah, she's white. His kid's a shit talker too. She could be white, be English.

She could be Canadian. Yeah. She's from Milwaukee, Wisconsin and I just, um... That's as wise it gets, by the way. Yeah, so you go to the source. Yeah, so you're in China. I'm sure you're just biking around on your bike Uh-huh selling climbing trees Yeah doing your like knockoff Chinese products selling them that market All the real Jordans and the Foucaisey fat backs. Yeah, right? So you're selling your cheap Chinese goods to American tourists and you see and all you want to do is get to America, right? Is that the goal? No, the goal is? the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. they. they. I? I? I? I'm? I'm? I they. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I their. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. te. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tree. to America right is that the goal? No, the goal is you know we have a kid it's we want I grew up in China. Let's go before the kid let's get to what at what time do you want to go do comedy in America?

I listen. Did you have a kid? Did you meet her by then? Yeah, yeah I got a divorce from a Chinese chick? No. From my white wife. He met a white girl th kid kid kid kid kid kid kid kid kid kid thia thia th. th girl th girl th girl th girl th girl th girl th. th girl th girl th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. the the the the the kid a kid a kid a kid a kid a kid a kid th. It th. It th. It. It. It. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. I th. th. th. th. I the. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I divorced from a Chinese chick. No. From my white wife. He met a white girl in China. Right. They has a kid with, right? Yeah. And then we moved to Milwaukee. And you got divorced.

Then you moved. I got a divorce in Milwaukee. And then moved to Los Angeles for comedy. Like I started a comedy in Milwaukee. tho. in 2013 and I moved in 2014. After a year in Milwaukee I was like I really wanted to do comedy more than nothing and... But did you want to do comedy in China? No. It was a dream in your heart. No it wasn't true to America that you go, oh I want to tell jokes. Yeah, no in China all I wanted to do is crush pus, all color for pussies? Yeah. That's what I did. I'm just that flying you know. the life life life life life life life life life life life life life life life life life life life life life life life life life life life. the the the the the the the the the their. their. their. the. the. the. the. I. I. I. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I. I. I. I'm. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. the. the. the. the. the. the. the.uss, all collar for pussies. That's what I did.

I'm just that flying, you know? Life is sweet. Yeah, hookers and coworkers, everybody. He was, you were begging hookers and coworkers. His uncle would take him to Russian, wouldn't you go to like Russian parlors or something? Yeah, in Beijing we had this like, my uncle is a real bad. My uncle is a real bad boy if you know what I'm saying. No, we want to hear about it.

Move over this way a little bit. He, my uncle, like he's like. My uncle went to jail for gun possession. Oh, in China, that's pretty bad. That's like, he went to jail for like 15 years. Wow. Well, anyways, he's just just a bad boy. When I was in grade school, he took me to this higher-end Russian clubs. And there's like dance. In Beijing.

Yeah, in Beijing. That's the only one. And by the, like, the embassy area, all the embassies, and then you see some like, like, fucking higher-end people going in and out. What, like, you're telling me you're there for the social life drink bullshit there like plenty of hookers and drugs and like like shady drugs in China yeah a lot of drugs like I hear like if you get drugs they put you to it's like yeah they kill you they kill you yeah they kill you yeah capital offense yeah yeah they kill you for drugs yeah yeah no joke thousand times. Oh my god, I would have died

When I was last time in China sky this little bag of cocaine's like you want so it was just like There's no coke. It was only gasoline. You did it. Yeah. You did it. Yeah. I am crazy. I'm fuck around you're in China already. that. thrown. that. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. th. the. the the the the th. the the th. the the the th. the the the the the th. th. the the the the th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. th. thoooo. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th.'re in China already. Why not? Yeah. Let's see all this Chinese cocaine do to me, you know? It wasn't good. I'll be honest with you. Yeah, it's like it's a death penalty. It's just that like extreme And there's you can't fight it. It just boom. There you go. Yeah. I had a buddy who I got busted for like dealing weed last year and I was like shit he's dead but until he got out like I want to say three months later and now I know how deeply connected he was his family is with a party that he got out. Yeah. Because that's death penalty and then he didn't die. Even for weed, it's death penalty.

Holy shit, man. Yeah, no shit. Why do you think that is? Um, control? I think the government really don't want people, like, don't want Chinese people to be on drugs. Because with the history, like like thousands years back UK trying to get opium in China to numb all the people so they can colonize I think that's like deep down the government's like a hundred percent right the government is like

they don't want to be caught slipping yeah yeah the government is like no fuck you white people people. Yeah. You know, it's yellow power now. 2016. Yeah. Sock it. Wow. Yeah.

I think that's the reason. Yeah. Yeah. Now do you, um. One of the tightest pussies I've'm very sorry. It's not shaved. It's not shaved. She wasn't even Chinese. She was Canadian. Really? Yeah and I'm not even that hung and I had a shoehorned in. Wow. This was way back in the day. How many times you've been to China? Three times. But the original time was way back in what year? Like what year? Like I'd say like almost 10 years ago. So when So when you were a kid in early 20s, whatever, did you ever go to these?

See, I've never been. So obviously there's comedy clubs for Americans in China. Did you ever check it out? But they just started. They were really a while ago. We had 10 years ago. No, we didn't do comedy clubs. Well, they would just throw you cash. Yeah

Yeah. How could they afford to fly out Americans to do a bar? Don't worry about it We got the money dollar ready. Okay, just don't worry about the money. How come they? That's like a silly question Randolph. I expect more from you know. No, but to fly out to back. to their that. to fly out. to? the the the the to to to to to to to the to to to their. their. to. to. to. their. to. to. their. their. to. to. to. to. to fly. to fly. to fly. to fly. to fly. to fly. to fly. to fly. to fly. to fly. to fly. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don. Don. to fly. to fly. to fly. to fly. to fly. to fly. to fly. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. to. out to Beijing. Think about San Marino. Oh the same people? Yeah you're gonna yeah. Oh no you're thinking. Because where I grew up it was it was like old school World War II rich white people. Chinese in Pasadena slash San Marino I went to elementary school in San Marino, very rich area and the Chinese bought it up and started buying up in the 80s, and they would just come in, all cash. All cash. My uncles would be like, dude, these people from China just bought our house,

came over with two briefcase, three of the hottest chicks we've ever seen. And just like, watch your house. And they're like, the briefcases, their thrown, th. th. th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. th. th. that, th. they're, they're, they, they're, they, they're, they, that, th. they're, they're, they're, they, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, all, all, all, their, all, all, all, all, all, all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all, all. All, all. All, all. All, all. All. All. All, th. All. All, th. All. All. All. All. All, th. All, th. All. th. th. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. their. their. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. their, my. My. their, my. their how they just came in in the 80s and just started buying stuff up So when I first met Feng Chow because being from Southern California There's a lot of agents a lot of Chinese how long do you know him about a year about a year? But a year a year a year a year a year. A year or the year. All right cool. Yeah, I'll show you my ID. Yeah, I'll show you my ID. Yeah, of course. Check it out. So, are you American? Chinese. No, but I mean, are you, he's American. He's a black man? No, I'm not a citizen.

No, not yet. the word visa? I have a green card. Okay, how long is it last? I think 2, 2026. You'll be famous, you'll the c. . two thousand and twenty six so there's a be famous by then there's a clock yeah there's no clock for me Sam I do I make a couple phone calls I make things happen

I know it's real how many how many bears a Jordans do you have about about uh... He's the shoe collection you know feel like a little fucking girl are you connected you connected in China? Are you connected? Huh? Are you connected in China? Yeah, I can, I can, yeah, do the same thing. Like, you know, if you go to China again, you let me know.

If you go to Beijing, but if you go to Shanghai, bro. That's, you know, I hate fucking Shanghai. I really, I love it, they're filthy. They're stingy fucks, dude. They're all the rich area, it's like the Tijuana. They're rich, but the girls there, they're all fucking twots. And the dudes are like so stingy that are like, oh my god, look at this. It's not like like- It's not like- It's not like- They're like, they think they should be the capital of China and I'm from Beijing

actually we have you know forbidden city and the fucking wall I've been there and those bitches come at me like that I was just tell him to you know fucking suck it did you get a lot of fights in China all the time a lot of fights you were a bully huh yeah from like from where is your mafia you're deep connected my deep connected my deep connected mafia is through my uncle who took me into the Russian clubs how young were you when you were going to Russian clubs um six grade you were you were begging Russian hookers in sixth grade no I just get to see some white tits and ass and they were like cool that these

these Russians were like here let me rub my right oh my there there were like you they're like you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you their they they they they they they they they they they they they were like you they were like you they were like you are like you are like you are like you are like you are like you are like they they their they their their their their their their their th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their th. their their their their their their their their their th. their th. their th. th. th. th. th. th. their th. they they they they they they they were like they were like they were like they were like they were like they were like they were like they were like they were like they were like their their their theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee the the the the the the th tits and ass. And they were like cool that these Russians were like here let me rub my right my wife. Yeah, they were like you see chicks see a little, you know, your friends, nephew kids. Oh, you're so cute. And you're like, oh, I am cute now. Yeah. You know, when did you, what age you lose your virgin? I was in, I think 14, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, th, th, th, th, th, th, to, to, to to, to to to to, to to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th, th, th... th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, thi. thi. thi. thi. to, the. thi. thi. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to to to to thi, thi. the. think I think 14 15 that's not bad yeah to a girl six grade is how old

seven eleven six is six six grade you let me go into hooker bars for three years not doing anything yeah I was just there to get some food and you know what you're eating at the hooker bar? Yeah, is there a health department? There's nobody has like any certification to cook. You know, like, just like. So, so it was, so whatever happened your uncle? Uh, he went to jail and he came out and he's doing some shady shit. Would you ever, would you ever come over here and kick it at the store with us? If he come here, yeah? I would love to you.

I think you allow him into the country with some shit. I don't, you know what, I don't think that he's allowed to get out of China though. Like, there's a thing that if you go to jail and that it's hard for you to get a passport, even if you get a passport, and then they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're you're like you're having like you are smuggling guns here like now why do you want to go to the US and you know people know they smuggling guns supposedly he was wow in China was what penalty for that he got the sentence for like I think he got when he first got a sentence it was like 20 some years but it got down to like 15. Like my grandparents like pulled every string that they have.

All the every connection there is. But I guess they're just like with that. Like with that like gun possession is just so brutal. Yeah. It's just a different country like when he had I was listening to David Taylor's podcast who we were friends with that, you know I love David Taylor's podcast by listening to fun? Chow's and it was great and I remember Fung Chow saying on they're like, they're like? their tell saying on they're like, they're like, they're like, their child?

their saying on their like when you're? to their kid. baby or an American baby. You only get one. So it's like his son because he was born there, not even Chinese. They're like, oh you're American. Okay, right? Isn't that right? Yeah, like because China doesn't recognize dual citizenship. Yeah, they're like, Chinese or America. Yeah, it's very, I understand it. It's very, it's very, yeah, because we wanted our kid to come here to go through the education for like, because I went to school in China, like from like grade school all through college. All I get is all this stupid fucking pressure that, oh you gotta be good at math,

you gotta be good at this and that like after school class. Not, not, my parents are always late back, but the peer pressure in the class, and to me, and I was like, I told the teacher in my middle school I was like fuck you guys I just want to fuck that girl from class two and two girls from class three you got to understand like growing up in in Pasadena Samarino in the 80s the influx of the Chinese these kids would come over here they would mind their own fucking business and they would get not A's the perfect bes not perfect perfect perfect perfect perfect not the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their they's not their they's not they's not they's not their. they's not they's they's they's not their. they would they would they would they would they's they's is. they's their. their. their. they's is. they's is. they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they'd their. their. their. I I I. I. I'd their. I'd their. I'd to. I'd to. I'd to. I'd to. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. they. I'm. I'd. I'm. I'm. I'm. Perfect scores, it would fuck us all. We hate it because it would be like,

No, but just perfect, perfect, my mom would be like, our parents were like, oh my god, these kids were coming, they played classical violin, classical piano. We got to be friends with them as we got older, but they came in, perfect grades. And just stress cases, They would not get 100% on every test. What is that? Fung Chow? I was watching real quick. I was watching ESPN because, you know,

the spelling bees is so big. Now they're doing the like math competitions. And they were showing it. And one kid, they were all Asian kids. Yeah. They're Asians or Indians. They don't fuck around. And I'm gonna trophy. Okay? That's what it is. I never got a hug and told you, hey, third place is great. All right? Is that, yeah, they don't do that there, huh? There's

this big misconception that childhood is all about coddling. And it's about fucking pushing the limits, dude. So when you get to a certain age, you work smart. That's why these kids. They're all doctors. They don't give a fuck. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. the the their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. There. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It. It. It's. It's. They's. It. They. They. They. They. They. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It. It's. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. these kids they're all doctors There's no like how old's your kid? Seven if he was in China He'd already be like three years from a retirement from working in sweatshops There's no fucking childhood is a made up that. Yeah, yeah, like our generation, but like even like our granparents like my you know my dad dad. was like, you know, as you get older, you kind of will learn about your history. I'm like, I'm like, I asked my dad, I was like, you know, grandpa Randolph, who'd be my grandpa on my dad's side, I only met him like a couple times from Burbank and I was like, what's up with grandpa? I was like, he had a tough........ He he to grandpa. He's a gra. He's, he. He's, he. He's, he. He's, he. He's, he. He's, he. He's, he. He's, he. He's, he. I. I was, he. I was, he. I was, he. I was, he's, he's, I was, I was like, he's like, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was like, I was like, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was, he. I asked, he. I asked, I was like, I was like, I was like, to. He was like, I was like, to t. He was like, I asked, I was like, to asked, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, what do you mean? He's like, well, he caught his dad messing around or something when he was 12, jumped on a train and came to Burbake. And I was like, with who?

And he was like, well, with himself and a knapsack, Steve? And I'm like, and what happened? He's like, he's like, he started working, and I'm just, like, grandpa, at 12 years old, I got a moped and it was a big deal that I went over to the town over and drove back. I was smoking cigarettes, who I was a little back, my uncle, my grandpa got on a train and went across the country and started a new life at 12. That is so funny, but that's not an abnormal, like to that story, so like, oh, no, my father said, that's that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th.... th. th. th. th. they. th. they. they. they's, they's, they's, they's, they. I's, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I. I. I was, I. I. I was, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I was, I. I. I. I was, I. I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, oh yeah, my father said at 16 years old, you know, he literally goes, he would tell, we do a count, I goes, you know what you're getting for your birthday and 16 years old? I go, no dad, well he goes, a fucking job.

You're getting a job. And I got a job right out the gate and I never stopped working since. Yeah, that dollar from my family. I was like that too. My family sends me cash only because it's guilty because I'm not going to get into it but family members always borrowing money and they feel bad because that family members get money and I'm never at it so they're like well send you mind I'm like I don't need it. Yeah, you know. I always were you you and I always were, you're a hard worker too.

You constantly, we work. I mean you do a lot of fucking shit. Yeah, we work. So how long was your kid in China for? Uh, he was born in 2008. We left in 2009, like about a year. So you left when he was about, what, a black belt or a brown belt? How much cry do you know it? I would health? I wouldn't say black belt already. Like he was born with it, you know? So what's your kid's name, like Chase Feng? What's his name? Chinese name is Feng Jinran. What? It sounds like you had a heart attack halfway through the end of the...

Yeah, that's that's what he gave me. You know, my Chinese name, English name is Isaac. So he was... So your first name is Chow, your last name is Fang. Yeah, Feng. Fung. Yeah. Your last name is Fung, but your first name is Chau?

Yeah. Did you know that they switch it? Yeah, his, uh... Dude, he blew the roof off the first night. Yeah, I prayed for your death. You're still alive, but he was in the next day, he was talking to his kid. And I was like, tell your daddy to not be so funny. He's hard to follow. And he goes, he just stares at the Skype, stares me back in my eyes.

He goes, maybe you need to write better jokes, dude. I was like, Jesus, dude. I. I. I. He the the the hea. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He was. He was, he. He was. He was, he. He was. He was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was. He was. He was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was, he was, he was, he was. He was, he was, he was, he was, the next. He was, he was, he was, he was, he was. He was, he was. He was, the next. He was. main room. I could smack him and put him in the corner for a second. Yeah, Feng Chow heckled salmon from a whole row well for Fungchel. Well, you know, I'm just trying, I'm trying to let the rooster in the house know there's another roost. I'm not trying to be their nose there's another rooster. Oh, damn. I'm eating chicken since day one, dog. The jungle chickens. Yeah. But I think you're great, dude. You know.

Thank you. I'm just happy to be here. But anyways, so he comes over here. He comes over here. You go to Milwaukee. Yeah, I started there. Yeah, I started there. Yeah, I started the Moakak. It was good. All I did is just yelling on stage at white people saying faggot and cunts and bitches

Yeah, you like that's all I did by the way the lot of shit in LA is worse than dropping the N-word I could say the N-word on stage and get still get a laugh you say the word faggot in LA Yeah, that room just shuts down. Yeah, it's oh really. Yeah, I'd me try it at potlucktonight. Okay. Yeah, you will. All right. All right. All right. But you're a silly Asian dude. That's why they'll fucking take that. They're like, look at a guy who speaks weird English saying, they're like it's different to me. I look like a fucking vampire on stage. It's a different vibe. Everybody walks on stage. What's my vibe? It has a different vibe. I don't know what your vibe is. Well you watch me? Yeah, I mean you see my vibe is. What's my vibe? You have some dark energy when you walk out too? You have to smile more on stage. Yeah. You know what's your name in my phone? American Psycho? Yeah. It's a good. From day one you got to walk up with a fucking smirk? You know, you think so? Do you think so? You know what you're the name your name your name your name your name your name your name your name your name your name your name name name name name your name name name name name name name the name name name name name name the name name name name name name the name name name the name name the name the name name the name the name name the name? the name? the name? the name? the name? the name? the name? the name? their name? their name? their name? their name? their name? their name? their name? their name? their name? their? their? their? their? their? their? their? their? their? their their their their their their their their their up with a fucking smirk. You know? Yeah, yeah, that's that's the thing. That's the thing. Okay. You got to be subtle and that smirk

It works with you. I had a conversation with a certain comedian. I don't want to say his name and I had a conversation with him because he wants to be a villain on stage and he's I don't like how he's operating, but it's not my place saying thin. But I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thin. thin. thin. that's thin. that's thin thin. that's th. that's that's that's that's th. that's that's that's th. that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. the. thin. the. the. thin. th but I gave him a little a little pep talk and I go hey dude you want to be a villain who who is the greatest comic book villains out there top two joker joker who's another one Brody. No. You're fucking retards. It's Lex Luther. The two greatest villains in comic books are the Joker and Lex Luther. If you're a comedian who do you want to be the Joker. Of course the Joker. No, dude.

No, dude. What? You want to be Lex Luthor. I don't even know who last tel you was. Me neither. You don't, who the guy, the ball guy always wanted to kill Superman? I was busy fucking chicks when you were reading comic books. Hold on, you don't know the story of Superman. I'm not a comic book guy, sorry, dude.

You never seen a superman movie? Not in a long time. That's not my thing. Okay. I don't like Star trak. I. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. the the story. the story. the story. the story. the story. th. the story. th. the story. the story. the story. the story. I the story. I don't like. the story. the story. the story. the the the the the the the the the the story. the story. the story. the story. the story. the story. the story. the story. the story. the story. the story. the story. the story. the story. the story. the story. the story. the story. the story. the story. the story. the story. the story. the story. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. th. th. th. th. the th. the the the story. the story. the story. the story. the story. the story. Okay. I watch documentaries on the bad guy in the Superman movies is Lex Luther. The reason as a comedian you want to be Lex Luther is because Lex Luther lives in a mansion, is a billionaire, fucks hot chicks, and everybody loves them and they don't know how evil he is. With fucking the Joker, everybody sees the Joker coming. Everybody knows what he's doing. He lives in the gutter with psychopaths you don't want to be the joker I see you want to be Lex Luther okay that's my next tattoo are you being serious smile I get it no I get it Yeah you gotta be loveable I do smile you gotta fucking love the guy get him to drink your cool aid you can't be fucking an asshole I'm not an asshole I'm not an asshole the tho-you thin the you you you you you you you you th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thin I thin I th that th the th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th the the the th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho-I thi thi thi thi the the theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeat tho-s tho-s the the the the the the the the the the the gotta fucking love, the guy get him to drink your Kool-Aid. You can't be fucking an asshole.

I'm not an asshole on stage. Who's saying you are? I'm saying you say, well if you tell someone... Within the analogy. I'm feeling energy. I'm feeling energy. I feel it's all you. You got really angry at it. Yeah, I think okay

Okay, and you've been kind of fucking sensitive the whole time. Yeah, that's true all pro I'm pro Steve you are I am so I'm just trying to tell you man you got come out smiling look at Daniel tosh he gets away with all that shit. he's the way? thi he's he gets he gets he gets he gets he gets he gets he gets he gets he gets he gets he gets he gets he gets he he he he he he he he he the he he heat. heat. they. heat. heat. heat. hea' th th their the they. thi. hea' th th thi. thi. they. they. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thee the theeeean. thean. thean. tf. tf. tf. tf. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the there's other reasons but yeah you know what I'm saying yeah he's got a different thing than you his hook is different than what is that dude can I just show you the in the bear no because he's so angry I show him this and he's like oh now I can calm down I'm not angry do we both fun fun show so what do you have a okay so do you have a message to all the what's a pummer the the thumb the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. the th. th. th. the the th. the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thumb. thumb. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the. the the the the the the the the the the message to all the, what's a Palmer? Huh? Everybody asked me, what's up with your friend Feng Chau? What's up with all the Palmers? If you don't know what Palmer is, you're a Palmer already. Just be like Feng Chau, you're gonna be cool.

I know what a Palmer is. I'm telling me, we have listeners. We're not just three are... The comedy store. The comedy store, where Funchow works. Where I work, they are just so untalented and feeling insecure all the time and just say hi to everybody, but you know, trying to get a spot, like, hey, Steve, good set. I really love your stuff while, like, you know, when you were on stage, I was smoking weed over there, but I would say thage, th that. I think those are the Palmers, like... And you have a no-tolerance policy on the Palmers.

Zero. What's the Palmer again? What's the Palmer again? Like, they are trying to get spots, but they don't have, they don work on their, you know, Ari got, Ari was on, have you seen the video of Ari on Huffington Post? He's doing Huff Live. It's where they interview somebody. And he was talking about how he feels bad for female comics

and a lot of ethnic comics because they get pushed to the front of the line so quickly. So like, they don't get their legs they don't get their legs so he said any Bob a good point like you're usually comparing a male comic who's been doing it for 15 years to a female comic who's been doing it for five and they're like it's not the he's any funnier than the female just she's getting opportunities way quicker than maybe she should oh yeah I do see that. Yeah, I do see that. I see that. You're like, how does this girl get on there? But it's like, now all the spotlight's on you, you're saying you're, you're pro. You know what I mean?

It's like, yeah, that is. You know? And it's just the the line pretty quickly. Way faster. If you're a halfway decently funny comic, female comic, you will be on the show. The truth is, it's really hard for the comedy store to book female ready comics because the ones who are ready to get dropped into that lineup are out on the road making money. Okay, interesting. It doesn't make sense. It makes so much much tha tha tha th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. theeeeeeeeeeea. theeea. theeea. theeee. thea. the. on the road making money. Interesting. Interesting. It doesn't make sense.

It makes so much sense. Everybody wants to get on that lineup. You have to be a monster to be able to function in the middle of that lineup. Right. Because there's no fucking bumpers. There's nothing insulating you from following a guy who just flamethrowed the room. There's no host to do a couple seconds. Hey, I just killed. I'm Joe Diaz. I just killed. Walk up on stage and now I got to follow that guy.

Wow. So the notion of just putting anybody in that spot is nuts. It's like you can't just drop anybody. You have to, I mean, like the people you have to put in there are like Sarah Silverman's and stuff like that who are killers. Maria Bamford should be doing spot. I love her to death. But that's like, you know, it's like not even anybody, and I'm not just talking guys or girls. Not everybody can be dropped in the middle of that lineup. That's a big wave. That's a big wave. That is solid. You you, you, you, you, you, you, that is, you, you, you, th. th. the, th. th. the, th. th. th. the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha. tha. they they they they they tha. they they they they they they they they they they're they tha. tha. tha. is solid. Yeah, you got to be like you have you ready You have you need to be able to deliver in that room otherwise you don't belong there The only place that's close to that and it's a part is the seller in New York Oh, I heard I heard yeah, I heard it's pretty badass two places like you got to go deep. I mean you got to be able to fuck and follow somebody to sit in the th. th place place place place place place place place place place place place place place place place place place place place place place place place place place place place place place place place place place place place place. the place. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you you. you. you. you. you. You you. You you. You're you. You're you. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You you. You to go to go to go the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their th. You're to th. to to to to to to to to th. to the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. You're the. follow somebody and sit in the pocket and not have your world crumble around you when you're five minutes in this thing and they're just staring at you. Because Joey Diaz is just annihilated. Right, right, right.

Right, right. Because yeah. But Fengchau gets a really good job of I've been watching him, you know, we've been watching, you know we've watching each other. And he's ready, like he's built for that and like, there's one thing I'll say about Fung Chow, is it's all about believing, right? Like it's all about believing in yourself. What's the deal, Randolph? There is no deal. I am the deal.

There you go, you got it. And what else? Oh, the truth him is he has a great hook, and he, but he's an excellent writer. It's a very rare combination. He's, he's one of my favorites. Yeah, he's great. Got big things coming. I tell him he's gotta walk the earth. Fucking, what does that mean? What does that mean? Why they're a little shit and their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. It's a thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. It's a thi. It's a thi. It's a thi. It's a thi. It's a thi. It's a thi. It's a th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's a thi. It's a thi. It's a thi. It's a the. It's a the. It's a the. It's a the. It's a the. It's a the. It's a the. It's a th. It around her the people who came before them the the people who like the fucking door guys the fucking

the waitresses you know you have to be nice to everybody yeah yeah gold you know what I'm saying like fucking gold so so so what do you say to some of these palmers because like he and I both work the same shifts will be like carding people and people will come in and they'll like they'll just talk shit they they'll like they'll like they'll like they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they they they they'll they'll just they'll just they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they they they'll they they they they they they'll they they they they they'll they they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll just they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll just they'll just they'll just they'll just they'll just they'll just they'll just they'll just they'll just they'll just they'll just they'll just they'll just they'll just they'll just they'll just they'll just they'll just they'll just they'll just they'll just they'll say to some of these Palmers? Because like, he and I both work the same shifts. We'll be like, carding people. And people will come in and they'll like, uh, they'll just talk shit. I'm like, hey, can I see your ID? Like, yeah, man, I'm not showing you my fucking ID? And you're like, no, fuck you. I feel like the concept of us like just towards the comedy store, like I guess we love that place so much. It's this, yeah. It's my house. You come to my house, you'd be cool.

Yeah, dude. If you're not cool and I'm a long time ago. To be at the store, not necessarily just as a regular, but just be a part of that building is being in a private club. Not everybody can be in that club. And you're not entitled to just walking around wherever you want and doing whatever you want there. The big part of the family is just a giant, like it's a huge amount of things. You can go to any comedy club club and be like I work the comedy I do stance at the comedy store and you you have a foot in the door really oh I didn't know that yeah comedy I mean the comedy store is

the the best the best so let's give that because you did you just you start working the comedy store about what a year ago uh two thousand fifteen July 21st so not quite a year, almost a year. So... I'm a newbie. Yeah, you are new. Newkie of the year. Yeah, do you do any other jobs? I hear you host a lot of Chinese businessmen.

Can we talk about that? I just quit that job. I do, yeah, I just did. I take Chinese tourists around. I would pay to see you you you you you you you you you you you you you you take Chinese tourists around. I would pay to see you yelling at these people because you know your dickhead to him. Yeah, well, I, sometimes I get to be subtle, but sometimes I just don't give a fuck.

Like, you know, like you gotta, you wanna be nice and polite, but they're like so pain. Like, what part of Hollywood are you showing the, Hollywood? What are you going to? You their their their their their, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th.. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, like, like, take them to Rodau Drive, that's a stop, and Santa Monica and Walk of Fame and Chinatown Chinatown a little bit because they want to buy some like stupid shit. I was like, that's so weird. Yeah, because why do you come here to go to Chinatown? The funniest thing I was laughing in the car. I go, what do, what, the funniest, the funniest, the funniest, the funniest, th. I was, th. I was, th. I was, th. I was, th. I was, thua, th. I was, th. I was, thin, th. I was, th. I was, th. the funniest, th. th. than, than, thi, tham, and tha, and the funniest, and tha, and tha, and than, and than, and than, and than, and than, and than, and than, and than, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, the the the the the the the than, than, than, than, the than, than, than, the the than, the the than, the the than, the than, the than, than, and than? They come over here, I have an and out burger. He goes, no, we go to Chinese buffet.

I go, I go, yeah, that's really weird. It would be like, you and I'd be like, can't wait to get a burger in Beijing. Like, no, dude. I know, I used to work at P.F. Chang's and these guys, they would always bring the 99 cent prime rib deal over there. I think that's one of the thing that I figured out like, I love Chinese food, but at the same time, like I also love bacon cheeseburger. That's like a metaphor here. I feel like you gotta hype.

You gotta like update. You can't just say, oh, the fucking pigs' feet are the best. I love them to death till I die, like, I eat I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th, th, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like are the best. I love them to death till I die like I eat this all day like but you're in America. Chinese will eat anything dude. Yeah, you guys literally weird shit. Yeah like if you're like I went to a restaurant they were serving squirrel okay I'm not surprised how does it taste? Like Don Don Bears would be excited? Squirrels puss. Squirrels puss? Is that what you call it over there? So so? the the the the you the you their you? their their you? their their their you're? they? their you're they? their you're their you're their you're th? th, th, th, th, try, try, try try try, try, try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try t, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. their their try try th. try try try try try try try try try try th. taste? Like chicken. Don Bears would be excited. Squirrels Puss. Squirrels Puss.

Is that what you call it over there? So, so these guys, do they ever like to get hookers? They, uh, that's my smoothie card story. Smoothie punch card. That's what he says, smoothie punch card. Oh, you guys want smoothie. Yeah, they were like, they. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. So. thi. So. So. So. thi. So, thi. the. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. some smoothies. Like, we're like, all right, I got you, I got you. I can make a couple of dollars. Neither they want white girls or Chinese. Dude, Chinese smoothies all day. They just want Chinese to make sense. Yes. It makes zero fucking sense.

But here's a trick I'm gonna tell you. You get Filipinos. the smoothie for me Nah, on that smoothie punch card, right? You got five smoothies, you got another smoothie for me for free. Guess what flavor I got? What flavor? Pure white. Yeah. So you get them five hookers, they throw you in a white girl for free? Yeah. That's great. I get to make some money know and that's it that's all in San Gabriel huh like the Valley business done do they want drugs when they're here oh they would they want them weed

Really they don't want weed they want weed Australians come they want coke yeah we had a guy when I worked at buffalo wild wings one of the tour guys out there because I guess in in? Australia it's like two hundred dollars a gram for coke because it's the the the the the they they the they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're to they to they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their their their their toy. toy. toy. toy. too too too too to to to toy. their their their their's so far the fuck out there they have to fly it out over here it's a 50 or 60 so like the Australian's about you got coke mate and so this guy would just this tour guide that right outside on Hollywood and whatever Hollywood he would he would just sell coke he would anybody with an Australian accent send them to me you know and I would just send them to this guy and the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to the the they. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. I I I I they. I they. I they. I was. I was. I was. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. the the the the the a the a the a the a the a they. I was. I was. I was. I'm. I'm. I'm. I would just send them to this guy and he would just fucking make thousands and thousands. How did you get this job? Smoothie puncher. I used to, when I first graduated from college, I work at the travel agency back in Beijing and my old boss know a couple of, you know, them shady business guys who bank at Kathy

Pacific Bank. Yeah, that's why you told him. Because I grew up in that area, they were just like, they would always, like, the Asians would always be like, where's the cafe? And I'm like, what, what, what are the? When I was, you know, when we were kids, and I'm like, oh? But then we're just like, oh, it's over there. Oh, it's in a shady bank? I guess.

When I first met him, I'm like, what's up with Cathay Bank? And he started laughing. So I must be some shit. Yeah, they do like, they find some loopholes in the system and got the money laundry right. I think that's what they're doing. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, what's, what's, what's, what, what, what, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what's, what they're. Oh, what's. Oh, what's. Oh. Oh. Oh, what's. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, what's. Oh. Oh. Oh, what's. Oh. Oh, they're. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, they're. Oh, they're. they're. they're. they're, they're, they're, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, they're. they're.'s going on too. Oh really? East West. Yeah, East West. Yeah, I know. Those peep pieces. What's going on?

What's going on? Well, San Gabriel, okay, like. All cash deals. All cash deals. Straight cash, homie? Yeah, well, like, as well, okay. When the Chinese Pasadena, it was actually on Bordain's show. It's a destination, because all the Asians came over, then they settled in in San Gabriel. And then it became, it's some of the best food on earth.

If you go to Val, if you just Google Valley Boulevard, we would go there and they're just noodle shop, massage, massage, hook or hook. I mean, it's it's a blast. It's, it. th. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's just, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's. the. the. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's, it. It's, it. It. It's, it. It. It. It. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's a. It's a. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they're just noodle shop, noodle shop, massage, massage, hook or hook. I mean it's it's a blast you know so just hanging out there and that's where he would I'm like where do you go and he's like San Gabriel 200 roses and I was like 200 roses and I was like 200 roses. How come it's the thousand? It's a secret? Like it's not like you know like every every year thousandthe code. It's just like a secret code. It's a secret code. It's not like you know like hey $300. Yeah you can't say that. But I'm I'm 300 roses cool. You know you know what I'm saying? We always when a girl passes by I'm like 150 roses, 400 roses. Like when you're doing their value. Just like me and him just see how many roses. Do you think pussy chicks. I think they're pussy chicks. their their their th. C is th. C is th. C is th. C is th. C is th. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm just. I'm just. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm 300. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thre. th. th. th. thre. th. th. th. pussy's worth a little bit more than it really is all the time. Yeah Like they value it so much more and you're like you know there's like three billion of you on this planet.

Yeah. Yeah. Anything that's that much isn't worth that much. You know it's all belief like I remember I remember this very unattractive prostitute in Vegas one time was like unattractive okay I was like I was like how much you know and she was like it's gonna be 1500 and I was like dude you're in my head I was like you're beat like are you kidding me some other girls smoking hot 22 year old it was like I don't remember 120 bucks for a blowjob or something and this is when I was like 20 like hanging out there and I was like what's like hanging out there. And I was like, what's the difference? And then I like, I realize it's all in your head. It's all belief.

You value yourself. I was working, I don't know if I've told this story on the podcast before. I worked at this restaurant. If anybody's listening that worked to this restaurant, don't say the girl's name, I don't want to her to any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any that had to be 300 pounds and she thought she was super hot shit Paige and I walked in I walked in and I was like I was like I was like oh what's up and my friend Dodd Remember you know Dodd go's what do you think about Stephen she looked at me she's like oh maybe not my type though and I was like? What the fuck I got my feelings are you know and dude this girl just dated the hottest fucking dudes like these fucking dude? the th she she she she she she she she th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. She's th. She's th. She's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the., you know? And dude, this girl just dated the hottest fucking dudes, like these fucking dudes that own businesses.

And I was like, what the fuck? And then there's this other girl that worked there that was like, what the fuck? And that, like a check, and the like the guy that hits on only hot chicks will eventually get a hot chick dude if you're hitting on like not hot chicks you're gonna get not hot chicks it's how it goes and the same thing for women. Women could date millionaires and billionaires if they just played their cards right. If they just believed yeah you got to you believe that? You believe that? I believe that the Chinese chicks, they have no say. I just believe that my, my dick is the future.

Yeah, I believe that. Now, when you talk dirty, do you talk in English or Chinese? Or do you mix it in and go in and now? Bong that's like, uh, what did you just say? Yeah, that's like, uh for a quoy fish. Yeah, yeah, that's what he just said. That's what I say. Whatever turns it on. How's that working?

I don't know, man, I'm gifted. When you talk dirty, do you talk in English or do you talk in Chinese? Usually English. But when you want to say some really nasty shit, do you go Chinese? Yeah, I would say something. something like you know like it's this one is just for me you know it's not for you but I'm gonna say it yeah you know like you'd say like your asshole's hot garbage you be like like dang dang bonkjao yeah yeah yeah there you go I like that you know smoothie punch card I used to oh yeah that was stuff by the way they'll be the name of the podcast smoothie punch card

one other thing that stuck in my head about when he was on Dave Taylor's podcast was he was talking about when he came over here, he's kind of miserable, living in Wisconsin, and you know, like he has a girl, a kid, and he's like, fuck, I just want to get to LA. And when it all started going bad, it was to be the He was like man. I started hanging out with the fucking the third shift monsters at the third shift monsters They hate life. It's either the older ones they got laid off from work. They don't you know Shift at Target. Yeah, and and he was working at Target what what hours are the third shift? Yeah, they're fucking monsters. They hate? It's the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th?? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. third. third. third. third. third. third. third. third. third. third. third. third. third. third. third. third. third. third. third. third. third. third. third. third. third. third. third. third. third. third. third. third. third. third. third. third. third. third. third. third shift. third shift. third shift. third shift. third shift. third shift. third shift. third shift. third shift. third shift at Target yeah and he was working at Target what what hours are the third shift all it's got to be if everything's eight hours so like probably like 1030 p.m. to like next morning like that's how you came over to America and just started rocking with it. Yeah the third shift monsters yeah like the people like they just fucking hate everything they hate their life they hate you the the job their the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. the the the th. the th. th you. They hate the job or the like it is the vibes you put out put you on attractive a certain place Yeah, like Dana is my girlfriend's really yelling at me about I'm always saying these bookers hate me and I know the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they and I'm like you know you're always putting out the energy and I'm like, you're always always always the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their. their. their. their. Yeah, their. Yeah, their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. their.. the their... the the the the.. the. the. Yeah. I. I. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. I. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. not everybody's gonna like me. Yeah. You know, but it's like if you're always put out negative, like there's certain people who are always like, there's certain people who just

think they got to call it out like they see it. Like they're always calling people out on quote-quote, they're bullshit and then at some points like people in LA would rather work with a little less talented but have fun to be around? People want to work around people that are fun to be around. Yeah. Any city. They work with the super talented guy who's constantly negative and talking shit about it. No, you know, for me, if I was hiring a squad, I would be like, this guy's talent he's a pain in the ad. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, because why would would they w w w why would they, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, w. Why, w. Why, w. Why, w. the, w. the, w. the, w. the, w. the, w. the, w. the, w. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. W. W. W. W. W, w. W, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, w. the. on with those people? Like, there's like I feel like this city is not lack of talent. No, like Mark Barron says that the talent pool in LA is Olympic size.

That's huge. Right. Like, you can't just be like, oh, I'm fucking funny, but like I'm just bitter. I'm poison. Yeah. Like, it's just, I know people who operate like that. It does how is it working for them? It works if you think that being funny is the only thing you have to do. That's not your only is it is the fucking least. It is you know I've been doing this great joke about how like you know my dad my grandpa's generation uh that was they were hard workers I'm like they were they were hard workers I'm like they would go nine to nine the factory, come home, eat dinner, watch the Yankees, and then fuck my grandma.

That was all they did. I wish all I had to do was beg my grandma. This phone, this phone drives me like a task mask here. It never fucking ends. I go from nine in the morning to whenever this thing almost dies. And then, the better, and it just goes, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it just, and it just, and it just, and it just, and it just, and it just, and it just, and it just, and it just, and it just, and it just, and it just, and it just, and it just, and it just, and it just, and it just, and it just, and it just, and it just, and it just, and it just, and it just, and it just, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it just, and it just, and it just, and it just, and it just, and it just, and it just, and it just, and it just, and it just, and it just, th.. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th goes and goes and goes you have to be CEO of Steve Randolph Enterprises. It needs to be all the time every time and then you got to find those days where like I'm disconnecting and I'm just taking time off. But the days you're on it's go go go go. You have to be Wolf of Wall Street. I don't stop. I don't stop. Gabb. I don't stop. I don't stop. the wolf of wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf. the wolf wolf wolf. the wolf. the wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf. the wolf wolf. the wolf. the wolf the wolf. the wolf. I the wolf the wolf the wolf the wolf the wolf the wolf the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th. I the wolf th. I th. I don't stop stop stop stop stop stop stop. I work 16 hours every day. Winnie Cummings is Wolf of Wall Street. I don't stop. Wolf of Hollywood Boulevard.

Fong Chow doesn't stop. Never. We don't take breaks. Wolf or Wilshire. Pickle. That's what you got to be. Wilfell Shoe. Pickle.

Massage Pottler Street. Yeah, is just hate everything and to me it was like, you don't fucking come at me sideways like that because I really do my work there like I fucking unload trucks and just work hard and then they just get bitter and to me it's like no you little bitch I'm just gonna trash you guys and then the harder you trash them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them the the the their their their they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're just. they're just. they're just they're just they're just. they're just. they're just. they's. they're just. they're just. I'm just. I'm just. they're just. I's just. I's just just just. just just just just just just just just. they're just just just just just just just just just. they're just just just just. their they're just. their they're just. I I's. I's. I's. I's their. I's their. I'd their. I'd just. I'm just just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just like. I'm just like. I'm just like. I'm just like. I'm just like. I'm just like. I'm just like. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm gonna trash you guys and then the harder you trash them the like the more they laugh at it and then they love you like it's like we have like we used to have like a 30 minutes lunch break like table four or five of them I always sit at the cool kids table and trashing everybody else like the. I loved it they they they they they they they they they they they they they they were like they were like they were like they were like the they the they the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi tho tho tho thi thi tho tho tho. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they. I th. I th th th th th they they th th they th th th th th the the the the the the the ty try try try try try. I try try. I try try. I try try tha. I t. I was like, yeah, yeah, I know who I am. Don't worry about it. I used to take a martial arts

when I was growing up in high school and it was just me and factory workers. And they just love to work with me because I would just fucking rack them the whole time and they would just be laughing. Right. Because they just have to be like, their their their their their their their their they're, their, their, their, they're, th. their, th. th. th. to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be laughing, th. to be, th. th. th. th. th. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I, I, I, I, I, I th. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th. I, th. I, th. I th. I, th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, th. th. th. th. th. th. thr-I. Yeah, th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, th.they don't think like that right there they're there you know and it's just like they they it's got to be like being in prison you know who everybody loves besides the dude who blows everybody second person has to be the person who makes everybody laugh well yep when I went when I went when I went to sure I was in I was in with this guy that was a hitman for for one of the Aryan Brotherhoods you know and I was like the th you th you th you th I th I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. I was like th. I was like th. I was like the. I was like th. I was like. I was like And he was like, he's like, you would make us laugh. And I go, he said, you'd be okay. I go, well, what happens if I wasn't being funny? And he goes, well, you mean, what happens if you didn't do your job?

It wouldn't be good. And I always thought that would be a funny to write. You know, you're a comic, all the thi. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. thin. thin. thin. You're thin. You're th. You're thin. You're thi. You're thi. You're thi. You're thi. You're th. You're th. You're you'd. You're to be okay. thi. You're okay. You're you'd. You'd. You'd. You'd. You'd. You'd. You'd. You'd. You'd. You'd. You'd. You'd. You'd. You'd. You'd. You'd. You'd. you. he. he. he. he. he. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the th. the you'd you'd you'd you'd you'd you. you. he. you. you. you. you. th Yeah, I want to keep my butt-hole on fucked. That's why I gotta be funny. That's, that would be fucking the hell, the hell gay. Yeah, I have a 20-year set. Yeah, totally. We've already heard that joke. Yeah, it couldn't be too good. You couldn't do too much crowd get killed.

Now, what is the Latin community there's like certain people, like the, you know, Mexicans are higher up on the line. Like, because they're closer to America. Yeah, but like, what is, is there a hierarchy? Chinese is getting up there. The Japanese are pretty, Japs are always there. Japs are always there. Uh, South Koreans are there getting up there and the, uh, the other one that nobody, it's coming up as Singapore is really Singapore.

I was thinking Singapore for like two weeks. Oh yeah, and also those, I want to say the tow heads but yeah they're tow heads. Who? Who? Who you mean? Yeah, they have the oil, like Saudi Arabia? But they're Asians. Are they considered Asians? They are Asians. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they're they're probably considered Asians to you guys They are Asians they are interesting interesting they are they're talking like Filipinos ties oh those are the tie those are all the jungle Asians only one tie person is not jungle Asian is

only one tie person is not jungle Asian is heart he's heart he's not tie oh he's tie yeah but he's not jungle Asian yeah he's not jungle Asian what is he he's just great yeah he's just tie you guys get along all the Asian women I think ties are the hottest the hottest Asian women they have like ghetto asses and ghetto tits they're the only ones really really yeah tie chicks are thick really the rest of the Asians are like they're not they the they they the they they they they they they the the they're th I the th th they're the the th th thi thi thi the thi they're thi they're the they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they the the the the the the they the they're the tie they're the they're the tie they're they're they're they're they're they're they they're they're they they they they they they I didn't know that. They're not thick. You know what? I think I'm gonna, I can't agree with that 100%, but I like when I was in Indonesia, you know, I had my smoothie punch party with me.

Like I had a couple of smoothies. I think Indonesian women are pretty cool too. Indonesian? Yeah. Really? pretty cool too. Indonesian? Yeah. Really? What's their deal? They're just smoothies to you, like a little different. But I do hear you on the Thai women too.

Like I've, I'm an international bad boy. You really are. You really are. You don't play by the rules. I like to get wet sometimes. Yeah. Yeah. You do like to do acid? There's no rule. Have you ever done acid? Is acid big in China?

Yeah, yeah. He called me on acid. Yeah. He called me on acid. Dude, all of a sudden I'm in the middle of the day. I'm at my day job. And I get like, you know, when you, I'm like, oh, someone, yeah, which one of us, who died? You know, and he's like, can you talk right now? I was like, oh, I gotta take five on this.

And he's like, I just took a lot. I was like, you know, you just know, you know, you just know, like, what you know, you just know, you know, you just just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th.. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Can, th. Can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, th. th. th. th. th. Can, can, can, th. Can, can, th. Can, th. Can, th. th. th. th. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. Can, you. Can, you. Can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can? Yeah. Yeah, it's big. But I never, I never done it. North Korea is making all the meth and shipping it out. To the Asian countries? Yeah, all over the place. Uh, so let me just, let me just finish. So, so long as I called. And he goes, a lot of acid.

He goes, just stay with me. And I go, oh, no, it was like, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it was, it was, it, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th to. th th to. the. the. th th the. th th th th th th th. th go, oh fuck dude. And I go, I go, no, it was like it was like three or four o'clock in the afternoon. And I go, how are you? He's like, I'm like, I'm deep. And I was like, what are you seeing? He goes, it's going to be okay for us. He goes, a lot of pain. And I'm like, dude. And I'm like, dude. I'm like, trip. This this this this Vietnamese. This this Vietnamese. This this Vietnamese. This this Vietnamese. This this Vietnamese. This Vietnamese. This Vietnamese. This. This Vietnamese. This Vietnamese. This Vietnamese. This. This Vietnamese. This Vietnamese. This Vietnamese. This Vietnamese. This Vietnamese. This Vietnamese. This Vietnamese. This Vietnamese. This Vietnamese. This Vietnamese. This Vietnamese. This. This this this this this this this kid. This. This Vietnamese. This Vietnamese kid. this kid. this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. He he he he he he he he he he. He he. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. he. He. He. he. He. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he's. he. he. he's. he. he. he. he. he. he., out of high school, so we were 22. I didn't even Tommy Nuyen or something. And I, and, um, James Nuyen, I didn't, he wasn't even his friend. As he was getting pulled away to the, by the fire department, he goes, tell Steve Randolph, he knows who the portal is, dude. And someone told me that at a rave like a years later. I was like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to, to. to, to. to. to. to. th. th. th. th. th. He, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he. He. He. He. He. He. He, he, he, he, he, he. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He, he, he, he, he, he, he. He. He. He was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he wasn't, he wasn't, he wasn't, he wasn't, he wasn't, he wasn't, he wasn't, he wasn't, he wasn't. He was, he. He. He Chow was like, dude, what are you seeing? He goes, a lot of pain, my friend, but we're going to be okay. And then it's just quiet for 45 seconds. And then I go, I'm looking at the schedule, I'm like, the schedule, I'm like, thrown, I'm like,

you're on in two hours, and so thrown, and so thrown, tho's they, they, they, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, and, and, tho, and, and, and, and, and, and, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, and, tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. th. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, th tho. th th th th th th th tho. th th th th tho. th th th th tho. th tho. the OR, dude, this dude just walks in with a headset. I don't know if you've ever seen an apocalypse now, but it was like, it was like that scene in an apocalypse now, you could just like, you could just hear the doors playing, like, no, no, no, and he just walks in, and he just walks around smiling, he's like, he's like, a lot of pain, he's, he's, he's, he's, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he was, he was, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, th.. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. then what did you say to Adam you walked to Adam? Hey dude I figured it out. Yeah figure that out. Adam's like what man? Can he go? What do you say? I'm the real fucking monster here? And you know you go I'm a discipline monster off the street

and that was all all all all right dude like just tripping dude. When I got picked up the comedy store the old rule used to be with Mitzy. You you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you the the the th you th th th th the th th th th th th th th th th th th th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. th. th. th. the thi the the. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. the. the. I figured th. I figured th. I figured th. I figured I figured I figured I figured I figured I figured I figured I figured I figured I figured th. I figured th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, dude. When I got picked up the comedy store, the old rule used to be with Mitzi. You do one set about your ethnic group, one set about your family member. What even one set? One joke or one joke? One joke about your mother, your father, and then do your favorite joke. And my favorite joke at the time was

is that pot luck. This was a showcase, thia, thia, thia, thia, thia, thia, thia, thia, thia, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, tho, tho, th, tho, tho, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the thi, they.. they. the thi. the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, one, about, one, showcasing for Mitzi. Oh, so there was a there was a format. She told me why he thought was Duncan Trussle because he was the booker and saying it one more time because I was only half listening. Duncan Trussel once said that when showcased for Mitzi, you got to do these three jokes. One joke about your ethnic member, preferably your mother or your father, and then your favorite joke. And my favorite joke, basically, at that time was Asians on ecstasy. I had this great fucking bit about how Asians love ecstasy. Because they're so smart, their visuals are so much better than everybody else.

Tire-deaf. Like, when we trip, it's like 8-bit, right? When they trip, it's like Xbox on a fucking I-Mac. Don't be digital sound. And it cr- and I knew it was great because Joey Diaz goes, dude, that's a fucking great. That's really funny, you know? Yeah, and I showcased, and she goes, I love you, you're great. She's like, and I had to do one more showcase, and I got picked up doing that bit.

Dude, that's awesome. Feng Chow and I are dying to meet Mitzi. You don't know. Yeah. We will do anything. I would like, yeah. Anything. We're begging Eleanor.

We're like, I know she's sick, I know, you know, she's getting older, she probably doesn't want our shit, but it's like, dude, while she's still around, we will do whatever it takes. Yeah. We just want five seconds to, I would. Argus. Amed of May? Amid? I begged Argus. He's like, okay, okay, but it's god mother Yeah, we need to meet her any presents yeah, we need to meet her. How do we need to meet her? I don't know. we'll figure it out you talk to poly maybe I don't know I don't know mad mad when a med med med med come by real med med med med meds very close with no shit never no that's very close with no to well guys you know med med med med med med med med med med med med med med med med med med med med med med med med med med med med med med med med med med med med med med med med med meds the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the me med meds the the the the the the the me me me me me me me me med med med med med med med med med med med med med meds the meds the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the t me meds t me med med med med med med med med med med med med med med med med med med med med med med med med med med med med med med med med med med med med med med med med med med meds t me med med meds t me meds the the t know that. Very close to there. Very close. Well, guys, that's our show.

Can we do a quick thing, Sam? Three minutes. Yeah, can we each plug, just our social media? Have fun? Funchow? All the time. And then can we go out with maybe like some positive, a positive speech from and believing in yourself. We'll just end with that. I love to be out here all the time, buddy. Come back more. Come back.

Don't replace me. It's so. No, if you are the graphic designer that made those graphics, please get in contact with me or Sam, I know all things comedy wants your help as does the comedy store social media. And we do too. We'll plug you and so hit me up. I'm Steve Randolph at STEV-E-N R-A-N-D-O-L-P-H at Stephen Randolph 2, the number two on Instagram Twitter.

I'll add anybody, private message me, what's up? Let's talk weird if you need to help with something, I'll help you out. Feng Chow, how do they find you on social media? I have a Twitter. I have th-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-f-f-f-fung-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-fun-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-func-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-fun-fun-fun-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-fe-fe-fe-fe-wee-wee-wwwwwwwwwwoo-e-e-wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwne-a-N-G, C-H-A-O, 8080. Yeah, just tweet at me. Tweet at Feng Chow? Yeah, Feng Chow 8080. Okay, cool, and how do you spell your name?

F-E-N-G-C-H-A-O. You want to give a shout-out to anybody? Shout-to my Chinese mom. Shout out to your Chinese mom. What a faggit, cunt. Oh, welcome. Sam, how do they find you? At Sam Tripoli on all social media. I'm debating whether I'm going to dive into the Snapchat.

I'm really over it. No, you don't need to do Snapchat. And I don't need to do Fet Life, which I later found out about Sam. I didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't th didn't th 30 th 30 th 30 th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thirty to to to to to to to to do to do it. to do it. to to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do it. to do it. to do it. to do it. to do it. to do it. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thooo. thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. too. to. to do Fet Life, which I later found out about Sam. Yeah, I didn't do it. I did it for 30 I'm on it like 30 minutes and I just went I just felt myself It's so deep. It took away three years of heart so deep. It's so deep because a fan tweet at me And I was like and then remember I told you you you go oh shit. Yeah, it's so deep. So don't go on the? So don't go so so so so so don't go. So so don't go. So so don't go. So so don't go. So so so don't go. So so so so don't go. So the so so so so the so so so so so so don't go. So so don't so so don't so so don't go. So the so don't so deep. So so don't so deep so deep so deep so deep so deep so deep so deep so deep so so don't so so don't so so don't so so don't so so don't so so don't so so don't go oh so don't go on so don't go on so don't go on the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. So th. So don't go th. So th. So don't go th. So the the the th. So don't go th. So don't go don't go. So don't go. So don't go don't go don't go-L-I-F-E dot com, don't go on there. Am I saying words to the Palmers too? Yeah, okay, here's what we want to do. Here's all, here.

Where do you do Chinese music here? Well, I have Chinese music. Yeah, play some traditional Chinese music, softly in the back. And then you have two minutes to play us out with some maybe, just a warning to the Palmers, speak from your heart, and what your goals are here and about believing yourself. Remember, like how you would talk to Garza or me before we go on stage, like the positive talk you give us?

We have a lot of fans. A lot of them are drug addicts, a lot of the artists who want to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their artists, to to to their artists, to their artists, their artists, and their artists, and their artists, and their their their their their their to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their artists, their artists, their artists, their artists, their artists, their artists, their artists, their artists, their artists, th thi the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thean thean thean the to the. the the thi their artists, give us some fucking foreigner magic here. There you go. To the Palmers, my name is Feng Chow and I work at the comedy store. I am very angry all the time but I'm not bitter. I want to send out a positive vibe to all the pommers, big ones, little ones, black ones, white ones, you know, come to the comedy store, talk to me. I will teach you how to be humble and how to be a real comic. That's it. Thank you, man.

Great times. Great, we love Feng Chau. All right that's some real Chinese shit right that's real Chinese shit all right guys it's been international bad boys good to be back in the saddle we'll talk to you guys soon take care YouTube backslash ATC this is all being YouTube w w w w w w w w w do tbb C. Yes, I love you guys. We'll see you guys next to next week. Let's know who you want to be on our show. Bye.

Bye.