Tin Foil Hat With Sam Tripoli - The International Bad Boys Hour Ep 60: The Party Continues With Darren Carter and John Mitchell

Episode Date: June 21, 2016

******Instant Classic Alert********** The International Bad Boys are back and the studio is packed. The boys welcome International Bad Boy Darren Carter to the show. Darren's awesome new comedy CD, The Party Continues, is available on iTunes. Then the guys welcome the hilarious John Mitchell to the show. John talks about his time being the Weed Lord of Portland Oregon back in the day which was 2006! John brings the best out of the crew, Steve flamboyantly declares "He's bringing out the greatness!" All of this and more on another insanely awesome episode of The International Bad Boys Hour! Please let us know what you think of the show, positive or negative! Please rate and review the show on iTunes! Stay black motherfuckers!

OCD. Yeah, time for the international ready on the left, yeah, come down the right, yeah, calm down n-a-fuss, fuck-uh, let go, niggos. Oh my lord, it is time for the international Bad boys are not at home. We are in the studio rocking, guys. Where are they? Where are they?

We're on Van Ice. That's where we are. Wow. Yeah. We're out in Van the Ice. Van the S. Van the S? Yeah, what's that?

That's a street. Yeah, I messed up. It's an East Coast accent. Yeah, we're super excited. Join us in studios with one of my very good friends. Him and I have been doing the grind forever and I think he's hilarious. I'm happy's here. He's got a new CD coming out called The Party Continues.

Please welcome the party starter. How are you, buddy? Great, and I love everything that you're on. I love your podcasts. I love, seriously, it's like I was telling you, I love, man, just the energy, and then, and then when I rolled on to this, this one, I got into this, and Stephen Randolph here, like, just, man, I identify with him so much as a listener. I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm a friend, I'm, I'm, I'm a, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm a, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, th. I'm, I'm, I'm, th. I'm, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I, I, I, seriously, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, seriously, I, seriously, seriously, seriously, seriously, seriously, seriously, seriously, I, seriously, seriously, seriously, seriously. I, seriously. I, seriously. I'm, seriously. I'm, seriously, seriously. I'm a, seriously. I'm a, I'm a th. I'm a th. th. th. th. th. thi. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thi. thi. th. thi. th. thi. thi, I'm, seriously, I'm, seriously, day you were like, dude, I don't have anything. I'm not into, I think you said something like, I'm not into football, I'm not in the Star Wars, I'm not on a Star Trek. I'm not in the real outsider. You go, I'm not into superheroes. You're like, what do I have? Like, everyone glomps on to something.

And I'm like, dude. By the way, they just bought the UFC. Uh, New Wave? New Wave? No, not New Wave. Sam, you were just fucking off today, dude. No, not all. New Wave bought the UFC and we're in Van Nuys. Okay. The first minute of the podcast. Okay. All right.

Now what were you're going to say? theyme. hero fans and like they found out I wasn't that wasn't good for my like you don't know about how you done nine and then and then like yeah am I done with what are you done with them are you the oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah dude I I got that's another 40 story I've never told it's like a two minute story so I met new wave I was in the the the department I wantto be in the development apartment, for whatever reason they weren't having me. I was like, hey, I went from the mailroom development apartment, this was about three, four, four years ago, and they were just like, yeah, whatever. Didn't know, I'm a comedian, that would have been a great fit.

Maybe the universe didn't think so. But so I ended up in, they're all very nice, but I ended up in the bonus feature and trailers for movies and it was cool but it was like it wasn't that cool but it was like all right it was cool it was interesting and so I worked there and did like associate producer work but it was just mostly just logging footage and the guy across from me was gone for two weeks yeah and he came back and my eye to the the they. And I got these red dots on my eye and I'm like, what the fuck is this on my face? And he just whispers over to me and he goes, it shingles, get out of here. I'm like, how do you know? And then he just went back quietly to his computer and I was like, mother fucker.

He gave you shingle. He gave me shingles. So then, I go, I week and I said oh shit and they go we're letting you go in a week right I had great insurance I didn't get paid that much from new way but I had great insurance so in that week I went and that week I went and got glasses got all my teeth did all that's the. I'm gonna be out to teat their teat their teat tb-I'd thr their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they-I'm toeat. they-I'm toeat. th toe. th th-I their their thr-I th-I th-I th-I th-I th-I th-I th-I th-I th-I thr-I thr-I thr-I th-I tha tha tha tb-I tb-in tfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff-s toeeeeeeeeea toea' toea' toea' toea' toea' they toe they they're they're twee twee they're twee's that's shingles and you're going to be out for two months And I was like so I had insurance so I called their HR department I was like I think I got shingles from a guy there they're like take as much time as you need So then for two months I was getting full pay and I just went live that my girlfriend's house Just watching movies I come back and I come back and Bill. thus. th, th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thin, I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi think I thi thi thi think I think I thin I thin I thin I thin I thin I thin I thin I thin I thin I thin I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th th th th th th th th th th th th think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think think I think think think think think think I think think think think I think I think I think I think think I think I think I think I think I thin thi th do talk about that guy is comfortable being where he's not wanted that's one thing I'll say about Bill among many things he's a genius but he's like oh dude this girl's family hated me you know because he's a

black lady's white chicks and I'm like what do you do he's like I just stay longer and sit in the dad's chair he's comfortable being where he's not wanted like so as I was getting better better I go bill to tho th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the th he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he th he th th he th th he he th he he he he he the he the he the the the the the thr the the he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's wages. They fired me, but then I got shingles three days before I left. And he goes, bro, you write it out. He goes, you just go back like nothing happened. Most people won't have the balls to call you back. That's cool. So I go back. So I go back to New Wave.

They had forgotten I'm back. And then they had a little team. Did you hear your cubicle still there? It was still there? No one was in it. They gave it away? No, because it was, I was tech. It was just one of those weird things.

So they go, then the guy I looked at me, he's like, Steve. I was like, yeah, and he's like, oh, okay. And they ever looked, and I was like, I'm back. And he's like, I guess you can just sit at your desk. Dude, he didn't say anything for a week. All I did is go on Netflix and watch movies. The new wave, and I was like, dude, they're giving me weird looks. He goes, that's part of the gig, dude, but you're getting paid full time to eat sandwiches and go on New Wave, or go on Netflix. And he goes, I go, what do I do?

He goes, dude, I go, I'm uncomfortable. I go, I'm uncomfortable. He goes, you know, you'llthought we had a talk. I'm like, yeah, but I got shingles, you know, from someone that work here. And he's like, yeah, yeah, all right, well, I mean, you're still, there's no work for you. And I said, yeah, totally, I get it, dude. And he goes, all right, cool, cool. And I go back and another week. Another week. I'm sitting there watching so much TV that my eyes hurt, bro, and I'm just going to the kitchen.

So I'm hanging out and I'm going to watching people do VO stuff. I'm hanging out, you know, with the people are smoking. They're like, dude, what are you working on? I don't really know right now. That's great. So then, so then I squeeze an extra month where he goes, he called me in after another week, another full 40 hour week, he's like, so Steve, like, there's no work for you, like, you're done here. And I'm like, dude, I know, I know, bro, and he's like, so we need to talk about like an

exit plan. And I was like, whatever you got, you know, in the works, I'm cool with, the works. I'm cool with, he's like, th. I. I. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, th. th. th. there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. there's, there's, there, on another week Because people like I was just there bro How many people at the comedy store and they just kept paying you It was just it was just I felt through the cracks that he it was just he was paying to not Have to the airport just to got nowhere to go no where? Dude so like I told Bill I'm like dude. I finally by the end, I was like, it was a, I felt comfortable being where I was the only way it's to get better is if you get a promotion. No, told me, this guy to the top, dude.

You're just, you're just the only one that didn't get shot in the mafia wars and you're the dog. So then I go, so then finally, they call me the, thap, trouble, but you're leaving now. And I said, great. And they said, how do you say, like, your time at New Wave? But I just gave them all tens. I was like, this is a great experience. I got brand new glasses. I got, and so I worked an extra like a month and a half to, yeah, months a month to, between't thought about that.

Hey, real quick, let's get into your CD. Where can people get it? Oh, it's called The Party Continues. It's my fourth album, my fourth release. First one was called ShadySide. Second one, that Ginger's Crazy. Third one was called Stay at Home Stripper. iTunes, Amazon, anywhere they want. You know, I like when they, you know, just how we know how it works. Like if they get it from iTunes, it's great because

it helps your rank. Yes, you get on the iTunes chart and... I'm just weird because iTunes takes a chunk. Yeah. And then I posted on CD Baby Baby, they take a chunk. So if you just buy it off CD Baby Baby Baby, I get I get, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, the, the, the, the, th, you th, you th, th, you, th, you th, you th, you th, you know, you know, you know, you're, you're, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. thi, th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, off CD Baby, yeah. I get the bigger chunk. I know. But then you don't get the rankings. I know.

And you're like, what the fuck? How did it? So K, so K just does it on his own. He doesn't go to any of that? But he's so popular. That's it. He's, he's, theymy. the, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's. the, he's. the, he's. the, he's. the, he's. the, he's. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th-t-t-t-t- He. the. the. the. the. the. th- He. th- He. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. the. the. go on to like you know Fallon or something and be like yeah I'm a special and so boom that's his promotion like got it you know you know dude he did a show on his website he just shot a play he just to play

he just wrote a play had all this friends in it shot it like it's a TV show and it's just a play wow like he's in a great he's a really cool oh he's very fucking cool so so so so so th th CD Baby or iTunes at this point I don't care I just want to buy them like I'm almost because the new album is close to being done in to edit and I'm about to go through the set the it's gonna be a double album it's gonna be called the diabolical and oh that's gonna be called the the dybolic the first one's gonna be called the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the ty. ttty. ty. ty. the the the the the the the the they. the the the the the the the the the to be storytelling, and the second album is going to be called Friday Late Show, which when you do the road, you know Friday Late Show is the worst show of the week because they're drunk and sloppy and stupid. Isn't that why Steve Martin got out of comedy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, five minutes into this thing, I realize this crowd

is unrecorded. I'm not going to be to be to be to be the the the the the the the the the the tha, tha, tha, tha, th. I th. I thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, thi, their, their, thruged, their, when thi, when their, when their, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when their, when their, when their, their, their, their, their, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, their, thr-in, thr-in, thr, thr, thrown.. thro, thro, thro. thro. thro. thro. thro. thro. thro. thro, when, when, when, when th be able to record them. So I just proceed for 40 minutes to bash the shit out of this crowd. Oh, you've already recorded it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, it's awesome. So I'm just going to take out all the jokes that are in the album, in the first album, take them all out. So it should probably be about 30 minutes of just crowns, shit the fucking people's faces. That's funny. I'm very excited about it but I don't know if I'm gonna release the double album the second album digitally. I want people to buy the album like the actual album. So I don't know what I'm gonna do

and then my friend said just give them both I'll let people do what they want I'm okay with it. My friend named Bigfoot in San Diego says he'll come in and he'll put an encryption on it where people can't burn it. Oh, then I think it big people. But then again, don't you want to kind of get it out there? I don't know. Who's bigfoot in San Diego? Did I ever tell you this story about me doing stand up in San Diego way back to day?

I've been playing the La J and this one guy I call his nickname is Bigfoot because he is these giant fucking feet and he was dating one of the cocktail waitresses well one thi. Well one day I'm doing stand-up what was his job there? What was his job there? Bouncer? I think he was like a door guy but I think he was like a door guy but I think he was just hanging out but I the the he he was just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just the the the the they. I was just just just just the the the the the the the the the the the the he he was just just just just just just just the the the he he he he he heing. I was just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just. the the the the the the the the the the the they. they. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thing. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he.'s so many people in the comedy stores, like, what do you do here, really? Like, when I come down, all the old staff comes in and we all hang out, we talk about, you know, the yesterdays, and the yesterdays, and we all, yeah, yeah, so I'm doing sample of Brett Ernst. People don't realize about me, like, I used to do shows with Sebastian Maskelko, John, John Cabrillo, John, John, the, the, the, th and th and th and th and the, th. And, th. We, th. We, th. We, th. We, th. We, th. We's, you, you, we'd, you, you'd, you'd, you'd, you'd, you'd, you'd, you'd, we'd th. We'd, you'd, you'd to talk, we'd to talk, we'd to talk, we'd th. We'd th. We'd th. We'd th. We'd th. We'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you'd, you'd, you'd, you'd, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, t. tod. to, ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. today, th. We'd, the shows. You know, like that's how we were all going. You remember the stripper bit, man, it was a killer. And was that the same thing about, no, that's a different bit with Kobe Bryant, Incredible Hulk?

Do you know that's how Dana met me doing that bit, my girlfriend I've been with for 13 years? Yeah. So anyways, so I'm doing this bit, I'm doing this bit, I'm doing this bit, I'm doing this bit, I, I'm doing this bit, I, I, I, I, I'm this bit, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm doing thi, I'm doing thi, I'm, I'm doing thi, I'm doing th. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm a. I'm a. I'm a. I'm a th. I'm a th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, I'm a that's a that's a that's a thi, that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a different, that's a that's a different, I'm a that's a this these drunk people come in, this drunk couple with these two super drunk chicks and they just start heckling me and I wish I had filmed it right because I literally murdered these two girls, women, just precise heckle kills. I wish I could take it and show them this is how you destroy a heckler. I destroy them, I verbally, then I get the crowd to demand that they get kicked out. So they kick these guys out, these couples out. I introduce Brett Ernst, Brett goes, dude, watch out dude, that guy's a little crazy

back there. He might try to time in the middle of the comedy store in La Jolla, there was a foosball table. Really? Yeah, we were hanging out in the middle of it, and I'm talking to the bouncer, suddenly this drunk guy walks up to me and I'm like, oh he must be with them, I bet she's gonna apologize. So he comes up and he goes, hey dude, to thu- He to to to to the to to to to to the to to thu, were thu, were thu, were thu, were thu, were thu, were the thu, were thu, thu, the thu thu's thu's the thu's thu's thu's thu's thuzeeusuzeeus. thu's thu's thu's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thu's thu's thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu. And thu. And thu. And hea and thu. thu-a'hand smack tea. That's even worse than a punch dude I think you expect it coming or not? No, no no no my face I blocked it. Brethren's just spity senses were right. Wow. Yeah so I go I've been punching face numerous times. I don't know if I have some weird numb thing going on but it never hurts, I've been hit hundreds of times. Dude, you just hit me in the face.

That's all I remember saying. And out of nowhere, anybody who's ever worked at the comedy store comes out of the woodwork and we start beating the shit out of this guy. Good for you. Why Brett's on stage? Oh shit, he's out. the shit out of him. All the side th th him all the side look up Brett Ernst is in the lobby with the microphone in his hand wow he just took it out let's go and I go what

he walked off stage I go what the fuck are you doing he goes I thought there's gonna be trouble I look into the into the showroom the whole entire audience staring through the little hallway. Dude, go back on stage. He leaves, we continue to beat the fuck out of this guy. His friend is trying to drag him out of nowhere, big foot comes, and just soccer kicks this dude right in a head with the biggest feet I've ever seen. Oh my god. He gets pulled out. They grab them and then we look down the hall. We looked down the street. The dudes are laying into their girlfriends.

You fucking did this to us. You fucking, it's like, nah, dog. You fucking swung on the clown. You were at a kids party and you punched. the party clown. You don't go to the concert and punch Elvis. Yeah. You don't punch. There's gonna be repercussions. The funny people. Real quick, where are you gonna be?

Dude, dates out of the meeting. Dates. I love when you say that. Dates out the gates. Tonight I'm doing two. I'm doing the pottime is that story time show? I'm not sure, I think it's 8 or 9 o'clock. So if you go to the comedy store, there's a lot of opportunity to see all of us tonight.

I'm going to be headlining Harvels tomorrow. I'll be doing like a half hour, to 45, at the tom, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, and, I, I, I, and, I, I, and, I, I, and, I, I, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I also also also also also also also also also tom, I also also also tho, I also tho, I also tho, I also tom, I also also, I also, I also, I also, I also, I also, tho, I also, tho, tho, tho, to, to, to, and, tom, and, and, and, t. t. t. t. t. t. th, th, I th, I th, I'll, I'll, I'll, and, I'll, and improv, and we're trying it once a month again, and we're gonna see how that goes, but that'll be Saturday at 8 o'clock, and then I'm somewhere else too. That's it. That's great, Darren, where are you gonna be? I'm gonna be this, but, by the new album if you can't see me, I'm going to be in Chichancey Casino up near Fresno. I'll be there on Friday and Saturday.

I'm in Modesto. I'm sorry, I don't know the name of where I'm at, but I'm in Modesto. I'm in Modesto. Modesto. Modesto, you'll find me. They'll find you. There's Bad Boys fans. I did a show in Fnc. and you want to see Darren Carter, you're in the Fresno Vagez. Who show are you doing out there? Dechancey, it's the DJ.

His name is Andre Covington from one of those morning radio shows. He brought me out and then I know I'm going to be in Ventura in July. I'm going to be San Antonio in August. Oh, it's great. And then I'll be out. Gosh, they do. Well, no. Tonight, this will be up tonight, so it'll probably be too late, but I'm doing The Awful Truth at the Improv. And then this Friday just got booked, I'm doing Jason Ellis's tracker, I'm racing Jason Ellis in a car.

Whoa. Oh, really? Yeah, and like it's gonna be a dominant cruse. the tha th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin. thin. th. thin. the that. that. the th. th. th. th. the th. th. thr. the the that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a thr. thr. thr. thr. tru. tru. tru. tru. tru. tru. tru. tru. tru. tru. tru. tru. tru. tru. tru. tru. tru. thr. th, Brandon Schob, all these awesome things. You're racing him in the car? Yeah, I guess he's made some go-cart stuff and they're done the big race and he- Facebook Live It. Facebook Live It. Oh, I will, dude. Oh, I will, dude. I'll try.

They're probably, you know, they. I'm excited. I'm very thankful. He always asked me to do his stuff. And then Mike Tully who's on to Jason L. show, him, my good friend Christine Casa Grande and I are producing a new show called The Rant to Tours. And it's going to be next Wednesday, June 29th at the comedy store in the bellyroom at 10, 1030, a five dollar cover, bad boys getting free, and you basically, it's basically a show of rant. I'm trying to get away from boy band comedy stuff. I love everybody, teach their own, where it's just like go up there and talk some mad shit, rant on some stuff. No stuff like, why girls do this?

Why do they do that? Huh? You ever know those girls do we do? None of that bullshit. None of that trying to make the girl's pussy's wet. Okay, just straight, fucking. I want to make the girl's pussy's wet. Yeah, nothing wrong with that. But I just, it's so funny because I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like 20, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, the, the, I, I, I, the, I'm, the, 18, the, the, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the th. th. tha, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the the, the, the time and I'm always shocked when I'm like, oh my God, I just learned that. You're like, I've been doing this too long to be learning this shit, but

you do, you keep learning man, and I learned I can never, ever assume the crowd is going to be good. And you know what's great, can I say that about learning, you know, because I've been doing comedy since 90? So it's like, yeah, it's 9, it's like, it's 9, it's 9, it's 9, it's 9, it's 9, it's 9, it's 9, it's 9, I, I, it's 9, I, I, it's 9, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I's, I's, I's. to, I's, I's, I's, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I... th. I. I. I, I. I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. to. to. to. to. th. th. th. th. th.'s 90. I started when I was right out of high school. But, you know, and I think whatever we learn, what works for someone else won't work for us and what works for us won't work for someone. Like, yeah, that's true in anything. Like, even with you guys, I can't, thrown, like, Sam is more like, I destroyed the heckle of the ta. Like, with me, that wouldn't work. My, my, my, my, my, my, my, that, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th works, th works, th, thi, thi, wo, wo, wo, wo, wo, wo, wo, wo, wo, wo, wo, wo, wo, wo, work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, the right right this lady jumped up on the stage in Beckerfield last week and I was at the end of my set and I thought she was she was trying to kiss me but she's so drunk but she just looked at me and I thou to try to bite me like like it was weird and then it took 20 about it about 25 seconds about to the. to to about it. to be about it. to be about it. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. It was about it was about it was about it was about it was about it was fuck, I don't want to get hurt, I could make fun of her, my mind said, nope, don't do that.

Now, I just did this, interesting. I just did this bit of my, and for the act, it's on the CD, it's called boring, where I go, boring, and I just, you know what I mean, and I'm, I, I, I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, I, I, and, and, and, and, and, I, and, the, the, the, and, the, and, and, the, and, the, and, and, the, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, the, the, the, the, the, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the.... the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the, and, and, and you know, because that way I just, you know what I mean? I kind of lifted her up as opposed to like... I did a spot last night in the belly room. Oh, and then after that, I only hear what Sam would probably do if someone did that to him. Oh, go on. Go on, please. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I did a show down the rabbit hole and there wasn't that much more in there and then I I look up and I'm getting the light

so it's five minutes and I was like and then I got into another joke and I was just like I got laughs I did well every's a good set you know but I was like but then my buddy Nick who's a the server the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. they. the the the the the the the the the the, who's a server there at the comedy story, he's like, oh dude, he's like, he's like, you missed a little bit. I'm like, why, I could see you hesitating, not knowing to go back to her or to get into your bit. And he was like, that was a minute of your, you know, so 25% of my set was kind of, you know, uh, yeah, that's a little, you know, that's, that's, that's, that's, the point, the point, the point, the point, the point, the pointle a heckler and then come back you got to either hey what's up or I'm not gonna engage and like sometimes one thing I want to learn is that sometimes someone's could say hey nice shoes and you could like I see like the lead a lot of those guys they won't acknowledge one or two and then afterwards like okay you jumpy like right away

they're like this guy has been heckling I'm we don't like it up there and then they'll just be like shut your mouth asshole and the crowd's like what a dick this perfor yeah I have an interesting thing like yeah theto get a whole this crowd. And I walk up and it's just a classic Sam Triply, the room energy just changes. Well, I'm going to say that everybody for about an hour and a half were destroying the room. And at some point, people get tired. Yes.

It's just the nature of the biz. A great politician said once, it's back in the s, the mind can only absorb what the butt can endure. So, we're sitting there, and after about 90 minutes, we're just like, we get wiggly and stuff, you know. Yeah, that's probably, at the time you went up, you know. That's awesome. The mind, that's a great saying, but that's the truth. And so I saw it happened during Jeff Richards, because, because Drark Michael, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, that, that, that, that's, th, that's, that's, that's, th, that's, that's, that's, that's, th. that's, that's, that's, that's, that's like, that's like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th. th, th. th, th, th, th, th.. th. th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's probably, that's like, that's probably, that's like, that's like, last special, his new stuff is great.

And what we're watching right now is somebody learning while making mad cash doing it. And not all of us have the luxury of that. But some people do. He's great, dude. And he's killed. I mean, dude, it was really smart, funny shit. He's the best smelling dude in comedy too. Why is it? Why is it? What someone else said that? What is he doing? Is it? is he is he is he is he is he is he is he? What is he? What is he? What is he? What is he? What is he? What is he? What is he? What is he? What is he? What is he? What is he? What is he? What is he? What is th? What is th? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What is th? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. the th. the the th. the the th. the the th. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. th shit. Like he's the best smelling dude in comedy too. Why is it? Someone else said that. What is he doing? Is it cologne?

Is it so? It's so? It's a secret. Dude, that's been a conversation. It's been. He's the virgin pussy. I told. . and said, what's up? Then he went outside and two female comedians said the same thing. They go, I was just gonna say, he smells so good.

He's that, and dude, he's smooth jazz. He crushed. Yeah, yeah, he crushed. And then Jeff Riches went up and did great, but halfway through, I felt the energy of the room just go, boom. And you're like, and you're like, oh, but I'm, but I, but I, but I, but I, but I, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, and I, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, they, they, they, they, they, and, they, and, and, they, and, and, they, they, and, and, they, and, and, they, and, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, th. they, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they, and, and, they, and, and, and, they, and grind, grind. And I learned because I just thought, because everybody else was killing, I was just gonna kill. And I've been on this kill streak. And you should be killing.

I don't know what it was. Right, right. But it's just interesting that I just learned, because that happened once with me with, I brought Eleanor Kerrigan and David Deary on the road and they did the show and they both murdered and I automatically assumed I was going to destroy the route. Yeah and it just didn't and I jump them because I get so excited. I've done that. I jump quick. I jump into my act when I need to do what I do on the road would just take it slow, talk to the crowd. I'm really good at just pointing people out and saying fucking weird shit about them. And then I start, it's like, I'm a fucking orchestrator,

what's that called? The conductor, conductor, where I like, I, you know, I'm like, I point people. And I bring, I bring, I bring these people in. And all of a sudden, everybody's working together into these bits, you know, and I just jumped it because I was so excited. Tarzan bit, well it's actually an old Tarzan bit, that I never put on a CD that I'm refining because this fucking movies coming out and it drives me nuts. Tarzan movies drive me nuts.

I've never seen one, why what's the deal? Well because they always have, Tarzan is like this super sexy guy, honk and it's like he lives outdoors. Nobody who lives outdoors is fucking fuckable. It's just never, they're never in great shape. They're all smell like monkey asshole. It's just like, and they always make them out to be like GQ models and it's just like women never fuck a homeless guy. We've seen these guys have these overpasses. Right? It's just ridiculous. But I want and I just jumped too far into. I got too excited. I was just thinking yesterday. I had a buddy come over. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. their. their. their. It's, their, their, their, their, they're. It's, they're all, they're all, they're all, they're all, they're all, they're all, they're all. It's, they. It's, they. It's, they. It's, they. It's, they. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It. It's. the. the. It's. the the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, all. their, all. th. th. I got too excited I was just thinking yesterday I had a buddy come over I had a nitty come over and we were chilling my place I live

in the valley is a hundred and seven and it was so fucking hot I'm like dude in the 1800s it must have sucked I know I know the the richest of the rich didn't tak dude no the richest of the rich didn't take bath. So Abraham Lincoln's nuts must have just smell. You know what, even at the, okay, I went to the boxing gym today. Even the boxing gym today, even the boxing gym. You'd have been there, Pullman's over there in Burbank. And they have like the garage door open or whatever that is in the other door. And I looked and I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I the the the the the the the the other th. And I th. And I look. And I look. And I look. And I look. And I looked I looked I looked I looked I looked I looked I looked I looked th. And I looked the the the the th. And I looked th. And I looked at th. And I looked at th. And I looked at th. And I looked at th. And I looked at th. And I look. And I look. And I look. And I th. And I th. And I th. And I th. And I th. And I th. And I th. And I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. th. the th. the th. the the th. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the th. on yeah Yeah, that's like crazy I can only imagine like like he said in the old West and that's day after day Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah a lot of good stuff going on we got our another guest in studio It's a packed house here in the here at the all things comedy international bad boys out headquarters very funny guy I got to work with him he does a fun show and one of the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the Our Headquarters. Headquarters. Very funny guy. I got to work with him.

He does a fun show. And one of my favorite clubs, I just don't get booked at enough, the West Side Comedy Club. I love that room. A theater. I think it's great. I love doing it. So he asked me to do it. That's the room thatthe podcast back together. Yeah, the podcast was, you, you and I didn't talk for two months and we were so angry at each other.

And dude, and then it was like two weeks, dude. But it felt, A, it felt like two years. It felt like forever. And I went up there, we were the that Sam was just dying laughing and you had to be my friend again because it was like, bro like he won. You bombed at a horrible showcase. Oh dude, another classic of of levity or no, Elevate. It's yeah, Sam just goes, Sam just goes, get over here, buddy.

Let's just talking about, I'm sorry, man, I'm so like that bomb brought this show back together Yeah, Elbe I emailed them. Hey, I'm not with you guys anymore and the guy emails back Stop rubbing salt in the wounds. I heard you left us months ago. I'm like bro. Yeah, dude. I don't want to get into due to legal matters. Well why we can get trouble saying that. I don't know, I don't want to. I don't want to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. I don't want to. I don't want to. I don't want to. I don't want to. I don't want to. I don't want to. I don't want. I don't want to to. I don't want. I don't want. I don't want. I don't want. I don't want. I don't want. I don't want to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to. I to. I'm em. I'm em. I'm em. I'm em. I'm em. I'm em. I'm em. I'm em. I'm em. I'm em. I'm em.'s the truth. I want to. I want to, though. But I did a show, he's very funny. I call you American Psycho, but I think you might be American Psycho. Yeah, pretty crazy. Please welcome to the show John Mitchell everybody. Thanks, boys.

Real, real quick. Thanks for the threat. I have a Facebook page, believe it or not. John Douglas Mitchell. There were too many John Mitchells. So find me. That's three first names. That's right. John Douglas Mitchell, you can find me on Twitter. Ooh, what do we have here? Jay Mitchell comic.

Hey, move closer. And this is a video podcast. Oh my god. Hey, what's up? theyme? There's literally fives of people watching this right now. How long? Five? Hi John, I'm Darren. Nice to meet you, Darren. I've seen you, broo, I've seen your work. I was looking at your picture last night at the ice house.

Oh, no way. That's right. I can't get on that board. Don't even get on that mugged. to be booked on the wall at Marty's open Mike and I just can't. I think I'll probably get past the store before I get past that Marty's. Yeah Marty's he sets a high bar man. Yeah, I uh, I at the dirty at 1230 man. I crushed that. I just, yeah, we discussed that last week. I just not get it. I'm like, I'm like, why aren't I on the wall? the te. I'm like. I'm like, the. th. th. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. the. the. th. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. today. th. th. th. them six fucking deep. I'm down to just say no and start crying and get up on the wall that way.

Oh, that's the only. You're just like, no, I'm not, man. And you just broke down sobbing, dude, uncontrollably. Just like a grown-ass. It's like getting out of a ticket. Yeah, I wouldthan men's. Yeah, because you cry and suck their dicks, that's why. If I sucked every dick of a cop, I would have perfect driving record.

I've been all these comedy club walls. Yeah, I just, I just so mad when they don't put me on the wall. It's so funny how that, you know what, you first you want to be on the marquee, then once you get that, you're like that's cool...... th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I thi, I'd, I'd th. I would have th. I would have thi, I would have their, I would have their, I'd have their, I'd have their, I would have their, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I would have, I would have, I would have, I would have, I would have a perfect, I would have a perfect, I would have a perfect, I would have a perfect, I'd thi, I'd thi, I would have thi, I'd thi, tho. tho. th. thoooooooooo. th. th. the. thi on the menu I want to be a drink item I want to be the triple eat you know what I've learned it's never enough it's never enough it's never enough it's never enough whatever you want you'll get and then you be like but I want to be this and you're like he's got a better appetizer why am I that's like a first world problem you know that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like true. It is like, I'm, I'm gonna get into your stories, but I'm getting in big fights with people on the internet over this Orlando shooting,

because everybody wants to be like, this is an ISIS attack, and it's like, ISIS isn't on Grindr, okay? Is isn't a right? He's walking into gay bars and everyone knows his name. You know what I'm saying? This guy was, nobody would bang this guy in the ass. Right? And then he couldn't go back to the mosque because they didn't want him there so he didn't have anywhere to go. So if you're a Muslim, you want to be machismo? What do you yell? It's like, I do a joke about it. It's like, I do a joke tang joke, I tang, I to joke, I to joke, I to joke, I th. I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thin, thin, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, tho. tho. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. thooooooooooo. tha, couldn't th Wu Tang clan. It's the same fucking thing. And he wanted a TV credit too. Yeah, right?

Let's not forget that. He's fucking. But he was gay as fuck. I mean, he's taking all those selfies? He loves, yeah. I think there is a, it is weird. I'm not on Instagram. I don't follow a lot of men on Instagram. Selfies sometimes I just feel like this battle. Who's more narcissistic do men are women?

Instagram makes me think it's women Yeah, but there's a lot of hose out there that are dudes You know what I mean like I have my opinions about male selfies, you know being what they are, but I'm maybe I'm just old school like? I'm today. I'm just a thrown. I'm gonna try. I'm gonna try. I'm gonna try. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thee. theeee. theeeeeeeee. theeee. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th you know it's fruity I didn't joke the other night about how like this crowd is so bad I'm gonna go home and I'm gonna get a hooker and I'm gonna beat her and then they get quiet go don't worry it's a tranny I don't hit chicks that's funny thank you r rown rown rown rown you know because again you look like you couldcle, you're a good-looking guy, you look like you could easily be in Wall Street, fucking being a hedge fund manager, but you've done some hard time. Yeah, it wasn't hard-ish time. It was pretty, yeah, it was, yeah, it was, oranges and a new black time. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's a long time. It was, the orange. Or, it's orange. Or, it's orange. Or, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's. the. th. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's, the. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's th. It's. It's. It's, th. It's. It's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. time. You know what's funny? That's hard time. That's hard time. It is. I guess it is hard time to a civilian, right? That's a lot.

That's a lot, dude. But when you talk to an inmate, they'd be like, oh shit. Just a nap. Oh my god. So what happens? What's that. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's hard. It's hard. It's. It's hard. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It is. It. It is. It is. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's hard. It's hard. It's hard. It's hard. It's hard. It's hard. It's hard. It's hard. It's hard. It's hard. It's hard. It's hard. It's hard. It's hard. It's hard. It's hard. It's hard. It's hard. It, Oregon. I love Portland. Yeah, yeah, it's a great town. And I was just a pot dealer. I mean I sold other stuff, but that's like what you did back in the day. There's no money in it now because it's all legal, right? What years was this? Wow. This was like oh four when I graduated high? We can say that back in the day by the day by the way, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, th. th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Yeah, it's 12 years ago. Right? Hilarious. Back in the day, I'd say like 2007. We didn't have these wireless controllers. Yeah, we had cell phones with antennas in them. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, hold on.

I can't hear you. Let me pull my antenna up. Four inches. Yeah. So I'm a little closer to the satellite. That's literally, when I was 18, I fucking went out and bought an ounce of weed, a scale, and a sprint phone with the antenna. You know what I mean? That was all in one day.

Is that your drug dealer? Because that was my drug dealer and baggies. And that's how it got started. to the today. too area totally so I saw just first gun on the Rogue River you did yeah what kind of gun 22 I'm gonna run I'm gonna intertwine but yeah that's just kind of how it built no they're. Nobody thinks of drug dealers in Oregon by the way nobody's thinks a drug dealers in Oregon by the way nobody's think if there's that's a hotbed of drug dealing oh it's a huge hotbed though and like like the they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're so so so so so. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they. they. they're they. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're theys to drug dealers in Oregon, by the way. Nobody's thinking that's a hotbed of drug dealing. Oh, it's a huge hotbed though.

And like heroin and crystal meth and shit. The Mexicans move it up to Portland because it's right off the I-5. There's a big market. There's a lot of dirt bags in Oregon, you know what I mean? A lot of trashy. Absolutely, but back in the day the key was, because it was like a hierarchy, right? Like you always wanted to find a grower, because when you got to a grower you get better prices and then you could start selling wholesale.

So eventually moved up to that ounce. How much was an ounce? Oh, like an out, buying an ounce? Like what it was a breakdown be? You wouldn't buy it, you'd buy pounds. Yeah, break down. Okay, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho, that, thou. tho, tho, tho, tho, the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. thr. thrown. throooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. th but in that breakdown, what it comes out to an ounce. Okay, so I was, I was buying pounds at the cheapest for like maybe 22. Breaks down to like $60 an ounce. Wow. That's, good, good pot, good outdoor bud, you know what I mean?

And I would sell it on the East Coast for like, two 50 an ounce. Yeah, I'm no math guy, but that's about 350 percent. That's, yeah. I'm not a math guy, so I'm assuming that's exactly what it is. Well, six times four, 280. Yeah, yeah, it's pretty close. When you say a silt of the East Coast, like, how did you get it there? Uh, UPS? UPS, you know what I mean? And we were all, there was never any wire taps, like we would use phones once and toss them, just like in the wire.

You know what I mean? Like 7-Eleven or something like that? When the cops arrested me, they walked out amongst other things with a bag, with like a garbage bag filled with cell phones. You know what I mean? Oh my god. Yeah, shit was crazy. She was crazy. So I was... But you know, that, that, that, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. When, th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the th. When the the th. When th. When, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thi. When thi. When the the the thi. the the the the th. the the th. the th. the the the the th. When the the thi. When the the story, that you're leaving a trail. How? But you're thinking it's disposable burner. But not burner phone, but UPSing?

We would use weed? Right. I had a dealer, and I was just telling this to the lawyer I worked for, he goes, it was a crazy drug story, just without cutting in on your story, just 30 seconds. I met this girl. It looked like Lou, like super hot Chinese lesbian drug dealer, badass bitch, and she would go to comedy festivals like Coachella, like all these back in 2002. I went like one of the first Coachella's, she would FedEx out tons and tons of cocaine,

tons of oxycott and tons of everything. So she would ship out maybe $30,000 with the drugs. Sit it until the festival was almost over until the last day That's right and then sell everything quadruple price and so everybody go fuck around She's like I got oxy cotton. I got cocaine. That's right. I would see her around I appreciate you do then the slight Asian accent I got oxy cotton I got stuff I got stuff out of she would smoke meth and I would she would smoke meth and I was so attracted to her. She would sit on the bed and smoke meth and she'd be like, well you need and I just want to eat your fucking box. Did you let you?

That's your dream girl. No, but I started to like, that's my dream girl because she's emotionally. She smokes meth and I can't have her. Right. Women on meth, I only say this before when guys smoke math they just want to do weird shit sexually. I just want to beat off to red tube. Yeah, right? And then when... I'm so glad I said red to be sponsored?

Are we getting sponsored? Red box? That'd be so funny. That'd be so funny. they're just joking. Yeah, Avengers. just want to do. They just want to, I said before in this, they just want to do home improvements. Like they're getting out to Sander, they're shalacking, like the... They don't get hypersexual, I notice that. They don't, they, it's almost like it makes you the opposite of what you are. Yeah, they become Paul Bunyan and we just become a chick-heat-heat-he. And guys just want somebody, somebody somebody somebody somebody somebody Yeah, somebody suck my dick anybody. Okay, fine, today.

Fine, dude. Go for it. I just want to shove things up my ass. Quick, okay. Quick, quick question before we get his fastening story, because I love that story. But I just, I had this thought because, you know, Uber is it, is the Uber? Is the price thrific? thri. the price. the price. the price. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I. I. Sso. Sso. Sso. Sso. Sso. Sso. Sso. Sso. Sso. Sso. Sso. Su. Su. Su. Su. Su. Su. to. Su. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. the's drunk hours. A concert just let out or whatever. Yeah, same thing, what you just said with the drugs, like, okay, the, the festival's about to be over, it's the last day, boom, prices go up. Yeah, I wonder if there's anything we could do with our comedy like that, where it's like, right? Right. the same, yeah, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the. the, the, the, the, the, the, the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to-.o-s.o-to-s.o-to-s.o-to-s., their., their their their, their their, their their net, you know, they're special now. You know what we gotta do, we gotta go to countries where it's just opening up. Like there wasn't free speech forever.

Kazakhstan? I don't know, that might, there might not be enough money. Have you ever been to Kazakhstan? I've been there. That's a good thought. Have you really? Yeah, what were you doing over? what everybody looks like that. Wow. Shitty haircuts, yeah, just weird haircuts. Everybody looks like they had that red that Asians get

when they've drank too much alcohol when they're drunk. They all have that permanently, that's like this permanent, because you know they got the, no, it's so red. You ever watch, yeah, shit face. Yeah, yeah, really. Yeah, really. Oh my God. That's true, dude. They have like weird farm animals in their living room. It's weird.

So let's get back to it. So you're shipping out this stuff. You're got to get to a grower. You got to get to a grove. About the paper trail. There's too much flying in and out of every single FedEx, UPS, mail. There's too much mail. You can't track it. Like the government, it's just people. You know what I mean?

And there's just not enough infrastructure to keep everything. It's like- It's like- It's like- It's just the percentage. When you would pick up, did you ever pick up stuff? Did you ever pick up? FedEx or the post office? Money. That's how I got caught. I was just going to say that would be the thing where you're like... Money's the red flag because they have the sensors in it. That's enough. It had, it wasn't that. The guys who were sending me the money on the other side. Like I would get these packages with 20, 30, 40,000 dollars in them. And they would just, it was like Christmas once a thi. that. It was like that. It was like. It was like. It was like. It was like. It was like. It was like. It was like. It was like. It was like. It was like. It was like. It was like. It was like. It was like. It was like. It was like. It was like it was like it was like it was like it was like it was like. It was like. It was like. It was like. It was like. It was like. It was like. It was like. It was like. It was like. It was like. It was like. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was like. It was like. It was like. It was like. It was like. It was like. It was like. It was like. It was like. It was like. It was like. It was like. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was like. It was like. It was like. It was like. It was like. It was like. It was like. It was like. It was like. It was like. It was like. It was like. It was like. It was like. It was like. It was like. It I never got caught, I would have never got into comedy. Because why would you do anything? How long goes this? Oh, we said, I went down in 2010. So it was like 04 to 2010. Who knows who you'd be doing now? Yeah. It might be some meth by now. Dude, I was, no, I would have a pot shop in Amsterdam. So it's like, he would have a pot shop in Amsterdam. I would just be cool legit and just be on his Macbook writing his script.

That's right. That's right. I know it's a lot. Yeah, a latte or a bud. I swear to God guys, I was planning on moving to LA and I was gonna lauble to go and I was going to lauco. I was going to the side. They never got me for that, but I had I had my fingers in that dyke, so to speak. You know what I mean?

What's her name? Her name was Lorraine. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, Consuela, because I got it from a Mexican. Oh, that's great. I got to prison and institute's legal now? Darren, I, you know the Stanford rapist, Stanford rape guy, got six months for a pretty brutal passed out rape, you know what I mean? I did a year and a half for selling weed.

I talk about that on stage. I'm like, where was my white privilege? It's so red. It's, dude, they're they're they're they're they're they're their their their their their their their their their their their people, their their their their their their, their, you're their, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, their, their, their, their, their, their, you know, their, you know, you know, their, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you knowoubtful. Dude, they're people doing life for selling weed. Wow. The big guys that really are like. Doesn't Rogan have a lot to do with helping those guys get out and stuff? Isn't he involved? Rogan with like getting people out for the time? I don't know. I mean, he can't do much.

The president pardoned a bunch of people. So I'm just saying like, in that sense, it's ridiculous. It's ridiculous, but I also miss the outlaw days. Because now it's like the guys, the street guys, and the people that need to make money, can't make money any other way. They got to turn to selling hard drugs now. And the market's gonna shift, and they're gonna end up doing more time because they're gonna sell meth. There's no weed market, you know what I mean? Listen, let's get back to your story, though. There shouldn't be anybody going to jail for drugs. For jail, for any drugs.

Nope. The pharmaceutical companies are 10 times worse than anybody. That's it. That's it. Everybody knows. Yeah, that's it. that's it. Tho.

That's, the outside looking in. So I got caught a year before I went to prison, I got caught for the first time. I was just, I dropped my, I was golfing with my grandfather, and I dropped him off at my parents' house. And I was like, okay, Gramps, I'll see you for dinner. And I drove back up to the house where I was living and where I was slanging at, right? And so I turned the corner in my red fucking drug dealer Acura so gangster. It was like 1990. It was red? Yeah, it was red? It was red?

It was a drug dealer. Yeah, but it was so dope. Yeah, but I know, you're right. the drug dealer. the d'a! Oh you were in a Mustang though. I was in like a, I was in a fucking Acura that Asians drive. I was in a red Mustang that Pablo Francisco gave me that he won in a cocaine fueled poker game.

Oh my God. That's amazing. That sounds fun. Do you guys do drugs anymore? I used to do a lot of coke. I do miss it, but it's just it will destroy. No. I'm going to be honest with you, don't do drugs. Cocaine is too good.

It just eventually catches up with you. But then you try meth and you're like, fuck coke. MET! Yeah. But go on. Oh shit. Then you do heroin and you're like, what was I wasting my time with any other thing on the planet. Yeah. Don't get drugs. My first thought was like, beer?

Like, after I shot for the first time, I like flashback on my life of like, I can't get enough this liquid in my face. I was like, me and my friends look at each other, I will never drink another beer again. Right, you fucking. You just look at people like, Greyhound bus trying to get like once you take the Concord you're like oh like my poor friends are taking the greyhound through Arizona to get to where I got in 30 seconds. Ha ha ha ha hau for five bucks. Yeah, you gotta go skydiving.

Bro, there's a happy hour of the street. Eight gallons of liquid. You're just like zip. Hi. theyce. that. that. the things. thi. that. that. that. that. that. that. the that. that. the that. they. that. they. they. they. they. they. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the g. the g. the g. the the g. the the the g. the g. the g. the g. the g. the g. the g. the g. the g. the g. the g. the g. the g. the g. the g. the the the the the the the the tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. to. to. to. to be. God Danny, you shot that Steve. Don't do drugs. No, but guess what? It's the worst. Then it takes every... No, it's, you gotta get on with things, man. Like I'm done drinking. I'm trying to kick smoking weed. Eight years.

I have to go to meetings. I'm like, theyrugge. they're dead. There's zombies walking around and mediocrity. And my opinion is this and I want to get back because I just saw a story I didn't read I'm like, no problem. It's just weed, dude. It's like, bro, you're not there. Every hardcore weed smoker I know is bipolar. Worse than heroin. It's bipolar. It's worse than heroin. When I was, look at, here's what I'll say about pot. I said this, me me me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, th, th, th, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's like, it's like, th. It's like, it's like, th. It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's Casey, who just celebrated six years, I think, I have eight years, heroinatic heroin act, we're both coke heads and heroin acts. When you're whipping lines of coke, you're like, I'm doing something bad. When you're doing lines of the meth, you're like, I'm doing something bad. When you're doing something bad, when you're shooting heroin, I'm doing something

to their toe, you're like, you're, you, you, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you'rethink you're on point, but you are so far off point. I agree. That makes sense. Everybody's like, weed is just, we just keeps you stuck in the middle. And I know so many talented people who I've never seen sober. Their eyes are bright red and they're like, dude, they're like, dude, I just want a new joke man? And it's like, if you ask them are you a drug head? They're like, what are you're like, they? they.... they. th. th. th. th. they. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. We just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just. We. they. they. they. they. they. the they. the the they. the they. We just, like, we just, we just, we just, we just, we just, like, we just, we just, like, we just, we just, like, we just, we just, like, we just, they.? And then everybody, you know what I mean? Like, then you got like, I don't know, I don't know. I don't know. You still, you still have the right to do that, though. Right, you should have a right to do heroin. You should have a right to fucking, you know, you know, yeah,, porn addicts, which I'm guessing three out of at least three

out of four people at this table. I have a feeling I know who's not the porn addict here. I think Darren's not the. I said that too, you know. He's like a porn ad. He doesn't like it, dude You know, that is weird. I'm bringing that up on stage and I'm working with the therapists that let go that Every pothead I know every one of them bipolar meaning one second they're like hey Dude, nex they're like, you know, it's like it's a switch. It goes weird. It goes weird. It puts you into into it. It cloo. It goes? It puts you. It goes. It goes. It goes. It goes. It goes. It puts you. It puts you. It puts you. It puts you. It puts you. It puts you. It puts you? It puts you to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the the. I the. I threat. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I th. I th. I the th. I smoked pot from 93 to 2003 every single day. So I was a pot, before I did all the other stuff,

I constantly was stoned and what it does is it, you don't know that you're off point. You're the last person to know that you're just like, the whole circus just went by, you know, and then it's a good way, and then when I was on a took, I'm like, you're a, you're, you're, you.............. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to be, to be, to be, I'm, to. to. to be, I was, I was, I was, to be, to be, to be, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's. I's, I's. I was. I was. I'm. I'm. I'm, I'm, I. to. to. to. to. to. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. to. to. to. When I was on Coke, I'm like, I'm fucking up. But when you're on weed, you smoke weed, you're like, dude, I did it right? And everybody's like, yeah, it was cool. I, I, I agree. I, I'm fine when people smoke a weed, it's cool. I think it's the same thing as I think. If it, it's a, I's a, I's a, I's, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, th.. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I don't want to say names because they don't want to read anybody out. It's not a big deal, but there's some bad boys don't give out other people's secrets.

No, that's it. You don't snitch. You know what I mean? There's a couple people I work with that are constantly stone and it does it does. And it does not, it does not, it does not, it does it? It does not thinks it's nothing, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, thinks, thinks, thinks, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, I, thinks, th, th, th, th, th. There, th is, th is, th is, th is, th is, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, I, I, I, I, I, I I I, I I, I I, I I I I, I, I I I I, I I, I, I, I I, I, I, I, I th is, I that, I that, I that, I that, I tho, I tho, I thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, I work, tha, tha, I tha, I Oh does he? Okay, yeah. I'm talking about door guys. Like the door guys I worked with are a couple of they are constantly banked that doesn't seem to, it doesn't seem to affect them. Like people, you know, presidents could, you know, back in the day would drink 90 beers and you know, so there are those. theyfee people. crank bro. Started Freud. So, I mean, that was blow. That was blow. But it doesn't, so it doesn't affect, there's a certain population that just they're working,

but I'm talking about just your overall people who have dreams of doing something and they're just, they're smoking five bowls a day, it's just, it's gonna be a real long. You made a good point when you said they're, you know, like, I wonder if that's why there's so much poor customer service. You ever been somewhere? You're just like, God, these people, what the fuck? Oh, dude, the other day, the other day this kid was like, so what do you want? The other day, the other day, so what do you want? I'm like, the other day. thin, that. I'm like, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the other. the the the the the the the the the the other the other the other the the other day, the other day, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the other the. the. the other the. the. the. the. not cool with it. Bring me my food. We were in, I was in the Atheca Mall. What are we going to get back to your store. What do you want again, bro? I'm sorry, you know how it is. No, I'm 35, I'm stressed and I just took three shots of espresso and I show up on time. How can I help you? What? We're not here? I was not here. I was in the the the the the the the the the the the we're I was in. I was in. I was in. I was in. I was in. I was in. I was in. I was in. I was in the the the th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're to get. We're to get. We're th. We're to get. We're to get. We're to get. We're to get. We're to get. We're to get. We're to get. We to get. We're to get. We're to get. We're to get. We're to get. We're to get. We're to get. We're to get. We're to get. We're to get. We're to get. We're to get. We're to get. We're to get. We're to get. We're th. We're th. We're going. We're going. We're going. We're going. to get back. to get back. to get back. to. We're th. We're th. We're going. We're to get back. We're the th. We're th. We're th. I. We're to this juice thing and we were ordering juice and this kid was behind the counter and he was so baked out of his mind and he's like what did you guys order I can't remember man I'm so high right now I just said it

look on my dad's face was like you mother fucker I if I could kill you you right now and at the time I was like I was like kind of I was like that's not cool but I thought it was funny. Yeah My dad wanted to beat the fuck out of this kid dude Because he's from the generation of like where the gas stations roll in like five guys like rotate your tie Yeah, they're wearing paper in an out burger hats. Yeah, like yeah, like an out burger was like the norm Yeah, exactly. Oh wow come to the drug store for some advil mind if I th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Oh wow, come to the drugstore for some Advil. Mind if I throw a Coca-Cola on there for your headache? That's right. For your headache, it's right. Here's some cocaine.

It'll take the help your wife during pregnancy. And help your baby sleep. Oh, wait, the Negroes are using it. It's illegal. That's a whole made sorry. I can't know everything. Dude the drug war is so much about black people in jail. Obviously. That's so when dude I know about that. We mean with Mexicans in the 30s.

It was the Mexicans coming over. Oh my great. It was the coke with the black guys. I don't know about heroin. Heroin. They all just. You should not be doing that. We should not be doing that. They were right. No conspiracy to the hero.

We all just shouldn't be doing that. This isn't a good thing for society. Perhaps we should prohibit it. No conspiracy, even high times is like how to get off heroin. Booh. Heroin to me is the heroin epidemic of the 80s of the 80s the government is flood flooding the country with it well they're making money off it and they're fucking trying to cripple the fucking a certain segment of society smack ruined Harlem in the 50s if you go read right now we are guarding it right we're guarding it for the

pharmaceuticals in Afghanistan right right we are we are we're guarding it for the pharmaceuticals? For the pharmaceutical companies we're guarding it for? We're doing it for, dude, when, when the government spends $1,500 on a hammer, they're not spending $1,500 on a hammering, putting in someone's pocket. They're $20 on that fucking hammer and the rest of money goes to black ops, to support shit that we don't know. Or contractors and shit, you know what I mean? An interesting story a friend of mine was in the military he joins with this guy they join they go through the ranks my buddy quits the other guy keeps going they have lunch later on he goes if you ever

hear a story about me dying in a helicopter training exercise on a base no that is not the real story the real story the real story is I was I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the tho the thi thi the the tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the th the the the the the the the the to to to the to to the to the to the the to the the the the the the the the the base. No, that is not the real story. The real story is I was somewhere doing some black ops that nobody knows about, and then I thought, it went bad and I died. So you'll see the news, you're like, oh, helicopter crash on Fort blah, blah, blah, blah. You're like, that didn't fucking happen. There's black, so the whole contra, the whole contra affair stuff, that was

all supporting black ops. They were getting money off the drugs to fucking support operations to destabilize other areas that they can't do from Congress. Yeah, Congress didn't give them money. And that's exactly what's going on with this heroin shit. They're smuggling it in, they're fucking making money off it and they're paying for shit that the tax players wouldn't be cool at them paying. Yeah, but we're already, Congress is already funding the war in Afghanistan though, so what's the, what's the motivation? There's other stuff all over the place, like this thing with, uh, that just came out of this Hillary email with Hillary one to you're like, holy shit. It's fucking crazy dude. She is bought and paid for. That bitch is so dirty. Israel's a weird thing. We're fucked.

Can you watch yourself? Can I use the sea word? Yeah, she's a fucking churn. She's a fucking cunt. I love the Jews. I love Hebrew. I have a lot of Israeli friends. I love the women there. Netanyahu is the Dick Cheney of Israel. Make no doubts about it. When you see this fucking email that they start a civil war in another country to help Israel? You're like, what is wrong with you, man? Lords of war, dog? It's all lords of war shit. So let's get back into the car. So you're and your fucking drug dealing. So yeah, this you drop grandpa off. You know what I mean? I had a fucking. I had a th. I'm a th. I'm a th. I'm a th. I'm like a fucking. I'm like a th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. this f. this f. this f. this f. this f. this f. this f. this f. this f. this f. this f. this f. this f. this f. this f. this f. this f. this f. this f. this f. this f. this f. this f. this f. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. the the th. the th. the the the th. th. the th. th. th. the this is the drop grandpa off. The drop grandpa off, you know what I mean? I had a fucking, I had a great game. I think I shot like a 45 on 9, which is 9 holes is pretty good.

You know, I was feeling myself, right? Like all was well. I was fucking in my dope fiend whip, you know, listening to CDs. Yeah. Remember those days. playing like some brother lynch hung I used to listen to that oh that gangster shit everybody to gangster everybody that I had know a couple people I got DUIs while listening to that there's something about listening to that my friend went to jail for murder I think yeah oh my god that the. Bad things happen even my friend who's like one of the hardest do you know he threw the tape out the tap he's this the the the the the the the the the the the tape the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the things I the the th is to to to to the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th I th I to to to to to to to to to to to to to th is to th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the is the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thpe out the window he goes this fucking tape every time I listen to it I've gotten arrested and he throws it out yeah that's crazy that's fucking crazy there you go kind of music is brother

look you don't know don't listen to it don't listen to no you know how ring you gone not I rebuke I rebuke I'm gone not I rebuke the what they were talking about it. It feels good. I too am diabolical. Yeah. So anyways, so so, so, so, so, so, that's right. That's right. And whenever you let your guard down as like a pretty big-time drug dealer, that's when it's the beginning of the end. You have to a pretty paranoid. Yeah, I don't even do that. And that. And that. And that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. this. This, this. This, this. This, this. This, th. This, th. This, th. This. This. This. This. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the. Yeah. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the of the end. You have to be paranoid all the time. I'm a pretty paranoid. Yeah, I don't even do that. I could imagine like being a dealer being perjured. Well, that's why a lot of meth dealers stay out of the pen for a while, because when you're on meth you're paranoid all the fucking time, right?

But anyway, anyways. block and I was renting it with my two best friends. By the way, not involved in this at all. You know what I mean? They have great futures, you know what I mean? I never gave him any money from like my my fucking, my earnings, you know what I mean? So sorry Patent Tim. So I turn, I take a left and sure enough I see Pat and Tim being let out of the front and handcuffs. Oh and I fucking the street is cordoned off with undercover cops and I the the under under under under under under under under under under under under under under under under under under under under under under under.. the cops and the cops and the cops and their. their. their. their. their their their their their their their future. their future. they. they're. they their future. they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they're great. they they they they. they they they. they they they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm, they're. I they're. I they're. I they're. I they're. I they're. I they're. I they're. I they're. Iuffs. And I'm fucking, the street is cordoned off with undercover cops. And I knew immediately. So I just fucking hit, hit reverse, right? And I'm thinking maybe they didn't see me, but then one of them did spot me. Because if I had hit it right away, without any hesitation, they wouldn't have seen

me. I could have done that shit. Yeah. You know what I mean? You pause and look for 10 seconds or something? Yeah, it was maybe like five seconds, but it was enough of a shock. Yeah, and then too abrupt of a screech back. I hear the guy goes, there he is. And so fucking, yeah. And so, yeah. And so, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and so, yeah, yeah, yeah, and so, yeah, yeah, and so, yeah, yeah, and so, yeah, and so, and so, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, and so, and so, and so, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and, and, and, and, and, and, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th, I th, I th, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, you know, you th. Yeah, you th. Yeah, you th. Yeah, you th. Yeah, I th. up you know I mean oh shit so I'm fucking like I'm going in

reverse and like as fast as I can go which isn't easy have you ever tried to go you fish tail a little bit yeah you fish tail exactly so I'm I'm flying down the street in reverse I got two white Ford explorers get coming at me and I try to hit the you know I try to pull like the fucking three point turn like like 50 like the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. I th. I'm I'm I th. I th-I I'm th-I I'm to to to th-I I'm th-I th-I th-I th-I th-I th-I th-I th-I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th-I th-I th-I th-I th-I th-I'm to-I'm to-I'm to-I'm to-I'm to-I'm the-I the-I the-to hit the, you know, I try to pull like the fucking 3 point turn for like 50 miles an hour and I fucking roll up onto the curb and I smash into the fucking the stop sign and they get out and they draw it down on me. One of them had his gun like not pointed. The other one was like a rookie, he wanted to drop me. I could have to ran. the the the to to to to the to to to to the to to to to to to the to to to be r r r. to to to the to to to the to to the to to th. th. to th. th. th. tho. to to th. th. th. th. I was, th. I was, th. I was, th. I was, th. I was, th. I was, to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I'm, try. I'm, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, th. I'm, th. I could have told if I ran, dude, I wouldn't be here right now. Oh man. I just gave up. I was like, all right, all right, boys.

Be easy. I got a fucking cardigan golf sweater on. No, no problems here. You know what I mean? That's crazy, dude. Yeah, yeah. And so they could have you don't know about. They, so many people flee from the cops, my lawyer said, that it's not even a felony in Oregon. It's a fucking misdemeanor. Because the jails would just be

over flooded. Yeah, so, wow. And that was your first time getting, yes, so, so so, so they had got a warrant to fucking to raid the house because I had the only one one one one onetrusted we'll call him minions yeah wore a wire and we came in the house he wore a wire and they got a couple of buys right controlled buys that call you were a marked money you would have been feeling him up see as a yeah absolutely absolutely absolutely why did this did this guy get in trouble for yeah he was just a suburban white kid he's not why did he he got popped Absolutely, absolutely. Why did this, did this guy get in trouble for something else? Yeah, he was just a suburban white kid. He's not. Why did he around you?

What did he do that for? Because he got popped. Yeah, it just goes up the line. And, I'll tell you everything. Exactly. Oh my god, it's so easy for the cops. When you're dealing with like, theyki, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to, to, to, to. to, to. to, to. to. to. to. to. to, to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. too. to. to. cops, he's like, yeah, I'm just gonna tell him, I'm like, no, dude, when I got busted buying drugs back in the day off this hooker, man, I, uh, dude my Armenian lawyers are like first rule bro, never admit to anything, whether they see it in your hand. No. Never, no. Dude, if you're listening to to their their they. they. they. they's, they's, they. they's, they's, they's, they're they're, they're they're, they're, they're, th. th. th. they're the. I's, the. the. the. theate. No. No. No, they're the. No, the. No. No. No. No. No. th. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No, th. No, th. No, th. No, th. No, th. No, th. No, th. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. I I they they th. I they're th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I the. I the. I'm thea. I'm thea. I'm thea. I'm thea. I'm thea. I'm thea. I'm thea. I'm the. I'm th if you're listening to me and you get in trouble, I hope you don't and you get off whatever you're doing, never admit to anything.

They're not your friends. They're like, hey, bro, just tell me, got them, boom, you know, yeah. That's right. I saw that on cops the day. My wife, they're their the guy's friend. They're like, it was pretty scary on the scary police chase. Yeah, man. We don't like to do that. And my wife goes, they're just saying this because the cameras are on. Yeah. But they're trying to be your friend.

Oh, that's what they do. That was scary. Hey, man. thu. and they had speakers, they go, don't listen to the drugs, listen to us, come in our tent and hang out. We have food for you to come down. And I remember feeding out of my mind. And I was like, I was like, and my friend goes, you tricky fuckers, because some people were like,

oh cool, you can help me. Like, you know what I mean? I was always getting to the trouble. That was bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad. That was bad. That was bad. That was bad. That was bad. That was bad. That was bad. That was bad. That was bad. That was bad. That was bad. That was bad. That was bad. That was bad. That was bad. That was bad. That was bad. That was bad. That was bad. That was bad. That was bad. That was bad. That was bad. That was bad. That was bad. That was bad. That was bad. That was bad. That was bad. That was bad bad. That was bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad. Bad bad. Bad bad. Bad bad. Bad bad. Bad bad. Bad. Bad. that was bad. that was bad. that was bad. that was bad. that was bad. that was bad. that was bad. that was bad. that was bad. that was bad. that was bad. that was bad. that was bad. that was bad. that was bad. that was bad so that was the, that, and up to this point I had no record, right? Like petty shit, I think, you know what I mean? I was always getting in trouble. Speeding ticket or bullshit like that. Well, I went to jail for traffic tickets and petty shit. No, I don't, that's a brother lynch lyric. I rebuke you. Okay, I'll have to listen. good anyways so so they found like seven pounds of weed a couple thousand

bucks which is chump change yeah to what I started making after that the cop busted me he pulled out the drugs it was a coke this little thing of coke man he bought he goes where's the rest of that I go that's it he goes how much you pay for this I go 40 he goes you paid 40 for this and the hookers laughing they're like you got ripped off from oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the thoooooooo the the thoooo the tho tho the the they the they they this and the hookers laughing he's laughing. They're like you got ripped off from oh wait no for a grandma blow it was something else but I want to cut or it was fucking bachelors or something it was it was a child slave. Okay there we go there you go I wanted to be like okay it was a fucking dead child slave. All right. The cleansing. Yeah, there you go. So they were laughing at me and I was like,

this is the most embarrassing thing in my fucking life. So anyways, so this, go on. But they were kind of stroke of my ego. They were like, you're like a, you're a pretty, you're pretty big-time drug dealer. I was like, oh, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, they're like, they're like, they're like, thi, they, they're like, they're like, they're, they they they they they're, they they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they. So, they're like, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi. thi. thi. they're thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho. they're they're tho. So, they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're the's what they do, right? Yeah, but I knew, I knew that because in Oregon, you got it, especially, and I had a good lawyer, that's one of the smart things I did. I always had a lawyer on retainer, and I wasn't worried. I just, I knew I wasn't going to go do time for this first offense. So I just told him, look, I didn't yell, I'm just a th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. th. I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. thee. theeeeeeeeeeeeeee. thee. theee. the. the. the. the. him or anything. I'm like, you're just not going to get anything out of me. This is not going to happen. Yeah, and they respected that.

Here's a question I've always had, I've never asked a criminal this, or anyone who's been in trouble. When that door is closed and you're talking to your lawyer, this is so silly compared with you guys, oh now I was 11, there's a grocery, I know, there's a grocery store, I know, but there was a grocery store that there's better not be candy there. No, no, no, there's a grocery store that was closed. No, no, there was a grocery store that was closed. No, there was a grocery store that called ourselves the poison boys, you know, and we like, we would take, we would break the windows.

It's an abandoned building, this is fun, we're breaking windows. You know, and then you don't really, as an adult, you realize like someone owns that property. Yeah. Yeah. And so there was a hundred dollar reward and my stupid. to my stupid neighbors, the office with the lawyer and he's like I know you did it we'll put it and I was thinking do I admit it to the guy that I did it or do I don't admit and you know what was never admit to anything even to your own lawyer it's some lawyers it's it's lawyer by a lawyer

yeah if it's a murder case something they mostly I wouldn't to I's right. I got in trouble for for mixing up mail at Larry Flint Publications when I worked there and they got sued for $30,000. And I went up to the lawyer that was on, that was on the fucking movie, you know? They go, they go, you're wanted on the 10th floor right here on Lawson again in Willister. And I was like, fuck. And the lawyers were all sitting there in the the the they. And they. And to to to to to to to to be to be the they. they. they. to be they. they. they. they. they. they. they. I th. I'm, th. I'm, I'm th. I'm th. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I's th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm too. I'm too. I'm too. I'm too. I'm too. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th lawyers were all sitting there in this big thing and we go, Stephen, before you speak, we're going to put on this tape recorder and let us maybe, we'll do the questioning here if you just answer. And it was a tape and they push play, they go, now it says here that you are an exceptional employee with Larry Flint Publications. Is this true? And I said, yes, this is this is th is thuuuuuuuuuu and I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, th. th. thu, thu, the, and I the, and I the, and I the, the, the, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. I walked in they gave me to look like We're telling you what's going on and you just you're just set your body here

Yeah, and then they're like you're fine right and I'm like if you're on that like and I was like yeah, I'm fine. I was gonna say they should release that recording. It'll be a number one hit on the podcast podcast. That'd be great. I mean good. Good luck. This is a. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. That. That. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the th. the their their their they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they they they they they they they're they're just. their. their th. th. th. their their tell. their tell. their their their their their they're just. they're just. they're. Yeah. Well, they, that was a little segment on John Alver last night of, of, uh, 60 minutes reporters getting them to say what they want to say. Oh, interesting. Like, so you're saying they were really struggling. Yes, they were really struggling. Yeah. So you're saying they were very corrupt. They were very corrupt. And it's all in editing. Me and my buddy Casey were filming like a lot of like man on the street stuff and we wouldn't get anything from a guy.

And then in editing, we can make him look like a pedophile, we can make him look like a killer. We'd be like, really? And just there's one awkward moment, we would just have that be his response. It's fucked up what they could do with editing. Oh yeah. So let's, so, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. we get to prison? So fast forward, so I get a felony. I'm on felony probation, but I don't do any time. After that first time, you're arrested me. You're like, I never want to do this again.

Right, and I would have, but that's when I made my East Coast connections. And that's when the fucking powerful drug. Did you still have so hacky, but it's fucking true And did you still have those who rooting? It's freedom. I was fucking flying everywhere a crazy hooker money Money, you know what I mean? You imagine that boys? Oh they kind of fucking horror money. I had to be on who wants to be on the payroll for just Sucking my dick. Exactly your job? You're gonna make fucking a hundred grand a year. All you have to do is when I want my dick sucks you suck my dick. Right. You had a billion dollars would you hire somebody to just your job is on call suck my dick? Yes on call she's coming with me. I would just I would live with a a harem. That's what I would do a billion I would just probably a concubine is that like a a special a special part of the house that like like like like like like th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. the the th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. their the. their their their to their their their their their their their. I'm. I would their. I would their. I would their. I would their. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I the the the th. I I I I. I I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. to th. to to to the th. to th. the a special, a special part of the house that like, you know, like eight hot, 18 year old girls would just live and

they could do whatever they want. But like, I would have an assistant to like, have the girls get ready. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Like, make sure, like monitor their diet the night before. Like, it's some sick shit I have planned. Daddy's eating box. I can imagine the room it's like adorned with pillows, like red pillows. Oh my god. Indian women, you know what I mean? They're just lying here like, you know what I mean? They're just lying here like, my name is all day. Some of them have their faces cut from when they've crossed me.

Right? But that's like the funny thing is I'm joking right now like 80% and like this could be used later. This podcast right here like if I blow up it could be like dude look what he said when you know you know dude the reason I don't think that is is because and I got to get back to these stories is how you make it is what they use so if you came out as like young Christian warrior and then you did this, that'd be used against you. Well, I want to be a motivational speaker. It could be used against you in a court of law, Steve, if you ever, get yourself in that position.

Oh, really? Yeah, if you actually do cut a bitch. I mean, they shouldn't just talk to me. No, not cut a bitch. Okay. That's going to get you. I would never, I don't, I can't hit a girl. I mean, no, I threw a girl into a brick wall one time that was trying to fight me. They had a, they did a show, God, I get back to her story.

They did a story about a woman who's on death row right now because everyone was convinced that they fuck, that she killed her kid. And it was really her, she's still on death. There was this hour footage of her at the Child's Memorial and she they did something with Silly String yeah, and she laughed she giggled at one moment during the fucking silly String thing like she's laughing. They're like yeah, right. That's what they use the convictor dude. Right. This podcast is gonna get us in trouble. It's not gonna I love God. I'm a good guy. I love God. they're gonna to try. Oh, tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. the th. the th. th. the th. th. the th. the the th. the th. the th. the the the th. the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. thi. thi. thi... They're never gonna use that. Don't even bother. We all know you don't love God, Stephen. I know you don't believe. He loves, he is.

You love your spirit, but you don't believe in like a... God's self. I believe in a connecting. Right, that's right. That's right. No, but you don't believe that there's like a dude. You know, you know, but I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the their. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I their. I their. I their. I their their their their their their their their their their their their th. I love. He their tho. He's. He's hea. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he's. He's. He's. He he. He he. He. He. He. He he. He he. He he. He th. He th. He th. He th. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's the the th. He's a igniting greatness. So however the guest comes on sometimes if the guest comes on But I want to hear these stories I do you then we'll have to come and back Stevie you're flattering me. Yeah, but I'm just saying he's igniting He's igniting greatness. The best part of that you guys didn't see that was the limp wrist you had a couple glow sticks. Ah, he's a twirler. He's an igniting greatness. He's. He's. He's a great. He's a great. He's a great. He's a great. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the gist. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the g. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the g. the g. the g. the g. the g. the g. the gist. the gist. the gist. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the. a twirler, he's a little cheerleader. He's ignited! Do you have your flashlight on you?

I don't, daytime. You don't have your flashlight on you? Nights out, lights out. All right, suns out, guns out. So you go to jail. So, you go to jail. So, that, the story that I told, so I got that I got, so, so, that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I th, 't fuck around and get caught for the same shit one year later it's exactly what happens but this time they got the money so I was going back to remember I was telling you all those big

packages of money I would get well they would reek of weed like clearly those dudes who I was sending the weed to they were smoking as they were you know counting the money to send it so I would always always always the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they the they they they they they they they they they they they they the they they they the they the the they were to to to to their to the the the their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they. toy. toy. too is. too. te. to. tooo. too. to. the. the. the. the. the. th to send it. So I would always tell them, look, you gotta fucking vacuum seal it. Just like a vacuum seal your pot. You know what I mean? You gotta do it. Don't they have sensors in them too? If there's too much going by at Red Flag, something. Dude, I don't know, that's what I've heard.

I've taken a sensor out. out of the money. If you cut, if you look on a bill, I don't know about the new bills, but the old bills, there's two sensors, there are two plastic strips inside the money and you could find them and and and take them out. I wouldn't probably do that, you know, but just just, you know just a little fact. Right. Right. There is sensors and there's so like if we're gonna be, right? Hey, you know how you get around that? You take like, God, I can't remember this guy was telling me, of course, a criminal who had done it. There's something, it's like a film stock that you can actually, so if you're smuggling in 50 grand, exactly, you can wrap it,

interesting. And it will block, it. It'll be touk. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's, th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's something. It's something. It's something. It's something. It's something. It's something. It's something. It's something. It's something. It's the th. It's something. It's something. It's something. It's something. It's something. It's something. It's something. It's the the the the the the the the the the think so. I encourage it. This is such spurious, you know, I'd be tough. It'd be tough. It'd be tough. It'd be tough to convict us on this. But so anyways, so it's like almost a year later to the date and I'd made like in one year probably like 300 grand. More than that, I had spent probably 50 grand and I had like about 250 300 saved up. And aren't you thinking these? I'm in the same town and they're all watching me. You don't even... Of course, but I couldn't leave the state. That's why I was getting ready to get off probation and move to LA to fucking invest in my portow.

I love it, you know what I mean? I had a plan to get out what I mean? I just didn't want to lose him as buddies. Yeah. And so anyways... Did you kick him down with some cash? Ah, you know I never did. Well, no, they didn't get in trouble. I took it all on myself. So when I got caught that time, they were like, you can either, you can either confess or we're going to put it on thi....... their their their, we're going to their, we're going to their, we're going to to put it, to their, to to their, their, to their, their, their, to thi, to thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. Did th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Did, th. Did, th. Did, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. Did, thi. Did, thi. Did, they to to thi. Did, they're thi. Did, they're thi. Did, they're thi. Did thi. Did, like, no, this is all my you know what I mean? Like I'm not giving you anybody else, but I will tell you this is all my shit, here's what I'm doing. Do do with me what you will, you know what I mean? But so yeah, so fast forward a year later, I'm getting rid of the today, I'm getting rid of a fly to LA. That day I have like to th. I have, I have like, I have like, I have like, I have like, I have like, I have like, I have like, I have like, I have like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, do th, do th, do th, do th, do th, do th, do th, do th, do th, do th, do th, do th, do th, do th, do th, do th, do th, do th, do th, do th, do th, do th, do th, do th, do th, do th, do th, do th. Do, do th. Do, do the, do the, do the, do the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. Do, do the. for years from traveling over there and it's going to be a fun little weekend, you know what I mean? Get my thing wet.

And thank you for not using the word. Yeah, you're welcome. No, well, this is a very, you know, you've got to be worried about the FCC. I know after what we've talked about, it's a very clean podcast. Exactly, so, um, I want to get married and have kids and coach their soccer teams. And also have a harem. But just for like a weekend, like how the old mobsters would do it. Like Friday was for the girlfriends, you know what I mean? the Saturdays for the wives, you know, like Ray Liota.

Yeah, I don't know. But just, and have it end like Ray and good fellas. You know what I mean? Just a massive coke habit. Yeah. Exactly. That makes me scary. Karen? Those are money. That was all the money we had. What were you doing? That was like me after I lost all my shit. You know what I mean? I was in the cell just like fucking oh yeah, it was painful. But anyway, so they, so one of the packages of money, I had two packages coming in. One of like 15 K and it. These are coming from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from the 15K and it the other one had 17 K. These are coming from separate dealers, right? So I got two deals going on. So I go to pick up the first one at my location. It's all there. It's all gravy. I go to the second location, right? And guess who's waiting for me? Those mother fuckers. They had fucking o'c-due. That's theirf-fu-f-ock. That's their their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, so, so I, so I, so I, so I, so I've their, so I, so I, so I, so I, so I, so I, so I, so I, so I, so I, so I, so I, so I, so, so, so, so, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so I. So, their. So, so I, their. So, their. So, their. So, their, their, their, th. So, I go, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. So, their, the weed, a dog had hit on it. Mother fuck. That's right, a drug-stiffing dog at one of those FedEx, like, big locations where they

give it to the drivers to be delivered, had hit on the money. Oh. And so they, so I go to, I sign for the package and I walk out, it's at one of those like Postal Annex places. Yeah, hey, but a buddy, but, Portland PD. Like he was like an AM radio jockey. Oh, John Mitchell. Hey, not another step. We'll fucking shoot you in the face. So, and I knew it was, I mean, I just shut down.

I just shut down. I was numb. Because I knew it was the end. You know what I mean? And I was like, again, I'm not in my right mind right now, you know what I mean? So kindly go suck a dick, fucking do what you gotta do. And they did it, man. And this is what's trippy. This is the fucking technology they have.

Nobody knew where I lived. These cops didn't know where they live. Because they keep asking me questions, like, they don't know anything. Yeah. You know what I mean? Right. Like it's when they're like, sir, come with us. And they don't say anything. That's when you know you're fucked. Yeah. But they kept asking me questions. Where do you live? Where do you live? They're trying to try me. Where do you live? They're trying to try me it was a smartphone. The smartphones had just come out, the iPhone one and I guarantee I guarantee they could see where I had been for eight hours during sleep time right? Yeah and they came back and read me my address. Thanks Darren. Oh yeah good for them. No I mean no I mean that's smarter you want. to wait second, I mean I'm a bad boy.

Yeah, I broke a window. I once drank chocolate milk guys. Can I just say it all good nature, doesn't Darren look like he's at a shooting range right now with those fucking with a monster energy drink hat and the headphones? Like he looks like, yeah. Bam. Where's my super so-my troops. My buddies are state troopers.

So you get to jail jail jail jail jail to jail. So there's some great shit that happens. So I get to jail, I almost get in a fight like just immediately in the waiting room. You got to fight somebody. This fucking Mexican, he's wigging out and I have the phone cocked because I'm making my call right. And this is and this is going to sound a little soft. Were you a fighter? I didn't want to be but I but I but I but I but I but I but I the the the the the to be but I to be but I to be but I to be. I to be. I to be. I to be. I to be. I to be. I to be. I to be. I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm. I'm to. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. t. t. I'm. t. t. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. t. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'mto be, but I'll fuck a mothfucker up. Yeah, I got, yeah, yeah. So, and the first person you call is your mom. Yeah. Doesn't matter like how much you think your parents are gonna hate you. That was the first bitch I called. I'm like, mama.

And I was like, I was, and she, like in crisis situations, I was like, mom, thii. I was like, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. th. that. the the that. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that that that that that that that that that that. that that. that. that. when she came to visit me that's when the sobbing and the tears and shit like that but she handled business I love you mom called the lawyer all that shit out to mom bad boy mom shout out Barbara Thompson you know what I mean just would just be fucking beside herself if she knew I was telling these stories for the public right now so yeah yeah so I the to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to the the the the the the the to the the the to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to toea. toea. toea. toea. tea. tea. to. tea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. to to the with the the receiver of the telephone you know what I mean I'm like guard he's gonna get it you know what I mean and they came over tase the fuck out of him what was the guy doing he was he was he was on PCP or was on meth and he was he was wigging out and and I can't even remember what he was saying but he was he was thrying to make my call. Yeah. I just kind of fucking, I bluffed him with the edge of the phone. And they came and fucked him up, you know what I mean?

But anyway, so that was the introduction to it. Were you consider a rat for doing that for calling the guard? No, I don't think so. Nobody said shit because, I mean. It's in a fair fight. That's when you got to step up and handle business. But you don't get respect for like fighting dirty in prison. There's ethics. You know what I mean? I mean people get- Sounds so interesting. So I'm in jail. There's no bail. I'm on probation. And I got caught doing the same thing. I had bail money and I called my probation officer and she's like, oh no, I'm dropping my from my docket you're fucked she hangs up the phone there's no bail so I'm in jail how long does it take to go see the judge months so I'm in

this motherfucker for four months whoa did not see this so so so think about that that's I got I was supposed to go to LA that day for some Columbia. Top notch Vage, you know what I mean? And I didn't see the freedom for another year and a half. Just taking off the street like that. Wow. It's a trip, right? So yeah, anyways, so I'm in there fighting my case from jail.

And it's the hardest time you do. You lock down 24 hours a day. They eventually move th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, to th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, I th, I was th. th. th. tho, I was th. thi, I was, I was, I was, I was, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th. I was, I was, I was th. I was th. th. th. to th. to too, I was too. too. that. too. too. too. too. thea. thatea. that. that, I was just, I was just, I to a dormitory, which is even worse because there's fucking, everybody's now clicked up and gangs and shit, right? Moth fuckers are fighting, guards are running in there, just tossing, they wake you up in the middle of the night because they, because people, that's how they get the shit. People would smuggled meth and heroin in there. Drugs, meth-hounds, exactly. that's, their, th. th. th. th. their. th. th. th. th. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. their. th. th. th. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. Mothers. Mothers. Mothers. Mothers. M. M. M. M. Mothers. Mothers. Mothers. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M.. M............................................................................................................ But LA County Jail, some motherfuckers dying there every day. The Human Rights Commission, went and walked through it, they were like, this is as bad as an Iranian prison, you know what I mean? But so it wasn't that bad in Portland.

Yeah, Portland. But, I mean, it was just awful, you know what I mean? So I eventually get a plea deal, 25 months, you know what I mean? I'll do maybe, counting time served, I've already been in there for five months, I'll do about a year. That's a year and a half. That's crazy. Yeah, and I'm like, let's do it. Let's do it, get me to prison.

I want my own cell. in you know sleep without hearing snoring and farting and people screaming coming off drugs. Tommy Lee in his book in the Motley Crew book he said he did four months in L.A. County and he said it wasn't so much the violence and the craziness he said it was just the noise and I didn't sleep for four months no came home no smokedemeanor heed or whatever it's how many days but he said it was just there's pinging and coughing and screaming. And people are coming off heroin, like, the smell of somebody off the street who's just strung the fuck out.

I mean, it's, it's, it's a bomb. It's crazy out of shit. Yep. So then I get to, uh, so they send me to a maximum security prison. It's unbelievable. Because I got in a fight in county, right? It was a fair one. It was a good fight. Yeah. Yeah. But I enjoyed it.

But that bumped my security risk up. They were like, oh, shit. Who did you fight? What? Who did you fight? What? their? ?

? He was just a cock sucker, you know what I mean? And he didn't like it that I was playing basketball with the black guys, slapping dominoes. I'm like, what else do you want me to do? There's nothing else to do. You know what I mean? Oh, really? He talked shit for that. Yeah, yeah. And so, because you're not allowed and he would like slap me on the year and fucking he was he was big

He was like maybe maybe Maybe is like you Sam, but girthy right and a shaved head to the bathroom and we just started fucking going blow for blow. You know what I mean? Are you know how to fight a little bit or? Yeah, I've been in drunken brawls and shit like that. And I didn't get my ass kicked by any means, you know what I mean? We probably had like. You have a long reach. Because like, I don't really know boxing mechanics, but I'm like, I'm gonna hit him as hard as I can. So I fucking, and you landed it? I landed a good one, square in his chin.

He stumbled back, and he came at me, and that's when we start. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and it was probably like, they didn't break it up for like a minute. That's a long time. That is a long time. It's a long time. It's a long time. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. He. He. He. He's. He's. He's. He's a th. He's a th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's he. He's th. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He he. He he. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He th. He th. He th. He he. He stumbled. He stumbled. He's stumbled. He stumbled. He's stumbled. He stumbled. He's stumbled. He stumbled. He stumbled. He stumbled. He stumbled. He's stumbled. He's stumbled. He stumbled. He stumbled. He's stumbled. He's stumbled. He's stumbled. He's stumbled. He's stumbled. He's stumbled. on, keep going. So we'll try to burn through this thing. I just want to get to at least this story. Which one is that? Candy bar? Yeah.

Oh, candy bar. That's just like kind of a funny anecdote. Okay, cool man. So, now we're in. So now we're in, now we're in, and they sent me way out to the middle of nowhere. It's like, there's like, it's like an army base around it and like a dead town. It looks like a Terminator 2, everything in terms, like a dusty fucking, like old mining town. And it's just a big, bad prison. And I was there for maybe six months until they sent me to a lower security prison.

I did another six there and then I got out. But my first day, so getting to that story, I guess I'll get into that story because, so first of all, nobody could believe, like I walked in, just the shock on the whole cell block's face. Like, dude, what the fuck are you doing? What's the to? Is this someone's lawyer? What's, what? What's, what? What's? What's? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I'm? I'm? I'm? I'm? I'm? I'm? I? I'm? I'm? I'm? I'm? I'm? I'm? I'm? I'm? I'm? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? th... th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. So people were just fascinated. They're like, dude, what are you in here for? And I would tell him like what you know, and I got respect. They're like, oh, this dude's a hustler.

You know what I mean? Like, this cat, like he's a real criminal, you know what I mean? But like, there were all sorts of ways that like the predators in there would try to manipulate the new fish into like sexual favors and extortion..... So like. So. So. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like, like. Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the. the. the. the. the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like sexual favors and like extortion extortion so kind of like comedy exactly right yeah yeah but the young caught the young comics yeah yeah the headliners hey man you want to go on you know exactly a couple weeks you suck my dick yeah but the headline oh yes please yeah anything anything both straight and by dude I hear it happens more than people think go on probably probably probably we could name names about that Yes, we won't bad boys don't give away other people's secrets no no but just know we know we know to some open mics. Yeah, you know what I mean become. Work your way up yes. So it's like I did with pot I didn't fucking come into the dope game with a fucking, with a Saturday in the main room. You know what I mean? Yeah. It started with an ounce, cock sucker. It took me fucking years. You know what I mean? Like anything. Yeah. It's really true. Yeah. I totally agree. So, so the third day, but getting back to this extortion thing, so it's like my third day in, right? And my new cell... arrived yet, so I'm in, I mean, I got my own cell.

It's kind of cozy. I'm like, this is nice. I'm sleeping. I got my books. You know what I mean? So I walk into the cell. There's a payday, a payday candy bar on my pillow. I'm like, oh was fucking, you know. But I knew, I don't know, like, yeah, there might be a catch to this, but fucking.

In the hotel it cost nine bucks. Exactly, yeah, no, but it was like a little Andy's myth, like, welcome to prison, you know what I mean? Enjoy your stay. So I'm out on the yard later, just walking around, like I don't know anybody. that's the hardest the hardest the hardest the hardest. the hardest. the hardest. the hardest. the hardest. It's the hardest. It's the hardest. It's tha's thartest. It's thart is thart. It's thart. It's thart. It's thart. It's the hardest. It's like, it's tharte. It's like, it's like, it's like, it's tho, it's tho, it's thi. It's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's tho, it's tho, it's to, it's to. It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like to. to. to to. to. to to. to to. It to. It to. It to and it's fucking scary. That's the worst part is the social aspect. And you even want people to like you. I'm like, why doesn't this serial murder like me? Yeah. I'm fucking cool. Yeah. You know, what's wrong with me? So anyways, I'm walking on the yard. And this guy comes up, he's a white guy. He comes up behind me. And you know I just knew he was no good. You just you feel it right away. He was like, hey buddy, well welcome man, you're new right? I was like yeah, yeah, man, thank you. He's like, hey, did you get that payday I left you? And I was like, yeah, thanks. Why did you do that? He was like, I was, I was like, thi. I was like, thii. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. started to walk away and he was, but I would try to diffuse it.

I was, you know, I'm like a nice kid. I'm like, yeah, thanks, man. All right, well, see you later. I'm gonna go hacky sack, whatever. And he's like, whoa, whoa. Isn't there something you're gonna do for me? I'm like, I was so stunned. I'm like, you want me to suck your dick? The payday is a dollar fifty, I'll pay you back. You know what I mean? I'll fucking hold your hand for five minutes.

Did you sit there? You know what I mean? I said something like that. I said something like, what? It was for a fucking candy bar? Yeah. For a fucking candy bar? Yeah, and I see him later, and I'm like, look dude, I'll fuck you up. Like, and I, I should have sounded cooler, right?

But when you're so angry that someone try to do that, you just take off on him. You're like, dude, I will fuck you up, let's go any fucking time. You know where my cell is. Thank God he didn't want to go to the hole again, you know what I mean? The fucking hole is terrible. I don't want to do another 30 days in darkness. Oh so you did 30 days in darkness? Yeah for the fucking you do 30 days? Well first of all for the fight in the county I did seven days, right? In the hole. That's a real thing. Yeah, but it's not like Andy Dufrain, Shaqshank redemption, they they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, you know, you know, you know, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, so you th. Oh, so you th. Oh, th. Oh, so you th. Oh, so you th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. So, thirty, thirty, thirty, so you know, so you know, so you know, so you know, so you know, so you thirty, so you know, so you know, you did, you know, you did, you know, you did, you did, you know, th? Um, they, they, they, the, it's worse in certain respects, because they keep the fucking lights on to make sure you're not killing yourself. So I'm trying to go to bed at 2 a.m. and there's a fucking fluorescent light keeping me up. Yeah, so you just, and there's only so many times, there's only so many times, you know what I'm thi...... the their their their their. There's their. There's their. There's their. There's their. There's their. There's their their their their their the fucking the fucking the fucking so many. There's the fucking so many the fucking so many their their their the fucking so many their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. thi. thi. times. times. times. times. times. times. times. times. times. times. times. times. th. th. th. th. their their their about whenever the skin started chafing, you know what I mean?

I'm five, six times. What's the downtime between nuts, like beat off? 20 minutes. 20 minutes. Oh, it's so brutal. It's so brutal. It's whenever you get a rod, you know what I mean? Especially because you got to take advantage It's like a squirrel, you know, stashing nuts for the winter. You want to beat off very early because then you got another 24 hours, you know, another

20 hours to go. You got to ration your fucking- I mean, you got to learn who you are. Yeah. And I'm sure the noise in the hole is got to be even crazier than regular. Yeah. And people. And people. And people. And people. And people. And people. And people. And people. And people. And people. And people. And people. And people. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their their thoom. to to to to to their. to to to go. to go. I. I's. I's. I's got to go. I's got to go. I's. I's got to go. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's. I. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I'm. I'm their. I'm to. I'm to. I'm to. I'm to. I'm to. I'm to. I'm to. to. to. I'm to. to. I'm the th. I'm the the the the the the th and people like throwing shit, they're throwing their own shit at the windows, they're pounding, and if they don't get what they want, they'll put newspaper up on the cell windows and so what they then they'll send the riot squad in to bring them out, you know what I mean? It's just like, it's just the dregs of humanity. It is the most shameful thing. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's their, it's their, it's, it's their, it's their, it's their, it's, it's their, it's their, it's their, it's, it's their, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, i, i, i, i. It's, i. It's, i. It's, i. It's, i. It's, i. It's, i. It's, i. It's a their, i's a their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, i's a. their, i. their, i. their, it's the dregs of humanity. Oh, I'm sure. It is the most shameful thing this fucking country has ever conceived, and the world, you know what I mean?

The modern world. Prisons? Prisons. Well, prisons are necessary because there are people that need to be, 100% of their people. I did this girl up at a cafe. I did this girl, Mike Young is so good at picking up women. He just picks this girl up at a cafe, thinks the show, she comes to show, she hangs out, and I don't know where I'm on a dance floor.

Her boyfriend shows up and doesn't even talk to him, just starts wailing on him, man. On Mike or his girl? I look up, Mike's face is bloody. I go this way. The guy goes way. thua. thua. thua. thua. thua. thua. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thiolk. thi. thi. thioliolk. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He's, tha. He's, tha. Hea. Hea. Hea. Hea. Hea. Hea. Hea. Hea. Hea. Hea. Hea. Hea. Hea. Hea. Hea. Hea. Hea. Hea. Hea. Hea. Hea. Hea. Hea up Mike's face is bloodied. I'm like what the fuck. I go this way The guy goes this way. Yeah goes way we we ride this chick man We just because we go nobody just shows up and starts to punch people Turns out it's her boyfriend right. She fucking set him up right, but that's a guy that's a that's a guy that prison is made for yeah, that's that's that's savage. That's that's that's savage. That's savage. That's savage. That's savage. That's savage. That's savage. That's savage. That's savage. That's savage. That's savage. That's a the sa savage. That's a the the the the the the th. That's a th. That's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. the. the. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th.these knockout that's savage that's savage we don't need you right inside you just punching people however you know what I mean like there's that guy's been abused that guy's had his old man and it doesn't excuse you have to remove them you can't have that shit yeah but there's no

rehabilitation that they took diplomas away like you know what I mean they want to the private government the government doesn't want the war on drugs to go away They don't want the fucking prisons to go away because that's money they get you know who the number one group of people fighting? CO's the police the police the police the police the police? Yeah, I'll say it's f because it's bureaucracy. They're actually claiming that their budgets are going down. That's right, because they don't have any money, they don't need the money to fight them. How sad is that? I don't give a shit, it's gonna go away. It's gonna go away. It's inevitable. And they can come fucking work at a pot shop.

Yeah, they're just a jer in prison. Yeah, it was some like it was a real dykeish like Moroccan lady She looked like I don't know dude. She looked like a fucking doll or something like that She was really really ugly and she just saw me the next day and winked you know what I mean Did she was that was the story? She she walked she was walking doing her nightly checks you got a check in every cell to make sure people you know what I mean and so I? And so I'm just in there like having a ball, you know what I mean? Just really going like Miller Highlife. That's right, I'm like shotgunning it. And so she sees, and so I just see, and so I just see these two fucking eyes, these two eyes just pop up in the middle broad things, but it's still embarrassing.

It's always embarrassing. I think there's guys who probably time it. Probably, yes. Right. Finally, another person sees it. Three to one, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And you put down your book. Yeah. You put your Bible down and you just starve. You get the wrong guard, they'll complain of your sexually harassing. Well, here's the thing though, yeah. There's old World War II bomb experts that would blow up trains and they would wait till the train was coming by and time their orgasm is just as they were coming they boom hit the ignition. Is that crazy? Is that true? I wasn't there? Is tha. tha. tha. Is tha? Is tha? Is tha? Is tha? Is tha? Is tha? Is tha? Is that? Is that? Is that? Is that? Is that? Is that? Is that? that? that? that? that? that? that? thathea? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho? thi. tho? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. the the th. th. the thi. that? thi. the. the. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the the th I wasn't there. I don't know. It's a good story.

All right, let's believe it. You know what, you know what? Yeah, we can Google it. Someone, a bad boy fan, Google that, see if it's true. That's true. That's true. I don't know if that's true. I don't know if have you on again. You both were great. Thanks, man, yeah, I had a lot of fun. John, you've killed it, you were great.

This thing went by too quick. What's that? It went by too quick? Yeah, I had so many questions and stories. Yeah, I know. We'll come back for part two. Part two. Absolutely. You're right. to the right. to. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. tho. tho. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. tha. to. tha. tha. tha. to. to. to. to. tha. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. thing. Find me on Facebook, John Douglas Mitchell. John Douglas Mitchell. I am single. He's a good looking guy if any ladies are out there any bad boys. Can't be a comedian though. Can't be a comedian. Bad boys fans shoot him a

message. Yeah, I even think female comics shouldn't date comics. Date somebody anchored in reality. Yeah, that's right. You know, Joe Rogan's old rule. One head shop per relationship. I love that. I love that. That's a great. Can I plug some shit? Yeah, plug away, man. Okay, so I'm gonna be at the comedy store original room, June 22nd, 7.30, flappers. I don't know if it's gonna come out by Friday or this Thursday. Okay, cool. Thursday. Uh, thirty at Flapp-a. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. the. the. their. their. their. their. their. they. they. the the the the the comedy. the comedy. the comedy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. I the. I then a I don't know if you have any fucking fans in Simey Valley I'm headlining I'm headlining and I we use that term fast and loose right headlining But don't discredit at the junkyard restaurant on July 5th of the junkyard restaurant. We'd be there with Matt Jones in Zara Mizrahi. Oh nice. Sounds like a great show. And guys, Matt's a hitter. Go check out Darren Carter's, download it, buy it, love it. Yes.

Darren Carter's new album, The Party Continues. It's on everywhere you can get any kind of music or anything like that. Guys and can I just plug myself, add me, Steve Randolph, S-E-E-E-N-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-Kh.I-K-Kh. I I to-Kh. I I to-Kerkeh. I I I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to-K, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-Khau-Khau-K-Khau-Khau-Khau-Khau-N, R-A-N-D-O-L-P-H, at Stephen Randolph 2 on Twitter, at Stephen Randolph 2 on Instagram, fucking send me a personal message, I'll talk to anybody, I'll add anybody. Guys, we want to, please go to iTunes, rate and review, everybody loves it. Share it, share with a friend. Rain review, it would really help the show. It would really help us. Follow the Twitter accounts, got 400 followers. We need to get it up, ma'am.

So that was it, great show. Thanks, guys. Man, what we learned today. We learned a lot about it. We learned if you get arrested, you don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th. th. tho, tho, and, and, and, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. thea. the. to-a. the. to-a. the. to-a. to-a. to-a. payday. And don't listen to that music. What was that guy's? Brother Lynch hung. No, Brother Lynch. You know, no brother Lynch. It's good breakup music, though, don't you think?

Like you want to go stab a woman? Yeah, I'll listen to Brother. Yeah,. Thank you.