Tin Foil Hat With Sam Tripoli - Tin Foil Hat Ep 26: SwapCast with The Doug Stanhope Podcast

Episode Date: July 7, 2017

Welcome to another insanely awesome episode of Tin Foil Hat! This episode is another spectacular swapcast with another one of my favorite comics, Doug Stanhope! On this episode, Doug, Greg Chaille, Comedian Andy Andrist(who's fucking hilarious) and myself discuss... 1) Vegas Comedy 2) LA verses NYC comedy 3) Political Correctness and Outrage 4) Drugs 5) Politics 6) and..... Miley Cyrus Please follow Tin Foil Hat on twitter at @madhatter39ers

Hey, this is Doug Stanhope and this is a swap cast with Sam Tripoli's Tinfoil Hat Podcast. We're swap casting together at the A-Loft, which is a very trendy kind of hotel that wouldn't turn off the dushy, I don't even know what kind of music you call it in the background, so yeah, that's us sitting outside on the patio, listening to Dush music, any kind of music that goes with, uh, what's that kind of furniture, Chaley, IKEA. It's an IKEA music and it's in the background and it's just talking. I don't know why Chaley made me intro this to excuse us sitting outside. I think we explained it, but fucking Chaley, listen to Chaley during this podcast.

He's probably a cunt. Okay, here's a podcast where Chalys probably never a cunt, but he's cunty right now. Click. Did I say click? No. And we edit ours. Because we always do our podcast drunk. And you end up saying the wrong thing and you go, oh fuck we got to get that out. Legal matter. Legal. Threats. Personal threats.

Losing friends. I've had one on, I was on their podcast where a guy threatened to murder my daughter What and I was gonna go murder him and then it all worked itself out Eat the mic we're on we're on we're on we're always on when I say murder I mean I was just gonna take him out and Yel not legally binding and get rid of it cut the first 30 seconds We've only had to actually pull one episode and that was the one right yeah the Santa Cruz? this? This the? This the? This the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they I I I was the they. they. they. I was the the the the they. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th I th I th I th I th I th I was th I th th th th th th th is th is th is th is the the the thea thea thea thea thea thea thea thea thea the the the th actually pull one episode. That was the one, right? Yeah, the Santa Cruz. Uh-huh. Yeah, we have one episode where we had, I did a podcast called the International Bad Boys Hour and it was just all storytelling. I mean, people come out and tell some awesome crazy stuff and this one chickennaught, she was kind of co-hosts, she was just basically talking about how she loved Coke and she was a hooker. And then, and th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And soon, th. And, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, the the the they, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. Yeah, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, the th. And, the then soon she was done she'd instantly beg us not to put it out so that was probably the only

time I haven't put out an elbow an episode and we kicked her off the show. It's like you can't come on and give us all this great shit about all the hooking you've done and then tells we can't share it. That's gold. Hey this is a swap. A the swap. This is a a a swap. This is a swap. This is a swap. It's a s. It's a th. It's a th. th. th. It's. th. It's. It's. th. It's. It's. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. tha. tha. tell. tell. tell. tell. tell. tell. tell. tell. tell. t. t. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. t. t. t. tell. t. It's. It's. It's. I. It's. I. I. Yeah, that's gold. Hey, this is a swap cast. It's the Doug Stanahope podcast and the. Tinfoil Hat Podcast with Sam Triply. And we have Greg Chaley and Andy Andres doing color commentary and drink running. I guess I should have done that before. Yeah, let's, no, I'll get that. Let's address the audio deal. It's 4th of July and we're on the patio at the hotel. A loft hotel? There's always plug them. They have a special place in my heart.

They're always the same. No matter where you go. There are some nice ones and then there's, I love your bit on the ratings of hotels. Very funny dude. And then there's just some shiholes. Mostly where I did meth. That's where the the the the they. There's they. There's they. I's they. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. the the the the the the the then there's just some shitholes mostly where I did meth that's where I go oh those like really I mean when I used to party it started drinking then it got fucking coke and then for a short period it got fucking really crazy I mean I were going to like third world hotels yeah just doing drugs and then get kicked out because I was creeping everybody out you ever do more than one eight ball at a six you know it's so weird it's like I would like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like the the th th th th th th th the th th th th th th th th the th th the th the the th th. th. th. th. I would just like like like like th. I would just like like like like like like like like the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. th. I the the the. theeeeee. theeeeeee. theeeeee. theee. the. I the than one eight ball at a six? You know it's so weird it's like I would just do little bits, little bi-bing-bings you know I never really like I had friends of mine went homeless and all I was like you know you always say you're productive

of functional Elkhock I was a functional drug addict. I could like get shit done. You get all your teeth nice and white? Yeah, still brush my teeth. Isn't that most of America? I guess that is. I'm really amazed at how many people like are so proud of like their meth abuse. Like my mom talks about it like they talked about mobile meth stations like it's like they just got a Starbucks. They're like she's so excited. Yeah, my brother Larry did he did meth for 30 years or what it's like it's like war stories like really you're a hero of some story? Well he just went around and stole kids clothes out of dumpsters. Yeah when you go deep into it gets really bad but at some points just basically like they worked out

the kinks of cocaine like everything you hate about coke is gone with yeah and then it's like that's the first couple times. And then it just like, okay, I smoked crack once in my life and the whole time I smoked crack, I was just like, I'm smoking crack, dude. I'm smoking fucking crack, dude. That was funny. We did a show last night,

and Sam's in town. He headlined the club. club last week and you're here because you grew up here so you stayed late did a set last night or yeah smoking crack too and I never get to watch like you're one of my favorites and I never get to watch anybody do set so you're either on the road or you can't get out of the comedy club quick enough you know so it's fun to watch you you work last night but you did a story about smoking crack you go I couldn't really do this last week because my mom came to every show. Every show and she heard all the Coke jokes I did jokes about her snatch but I feel like smoking crack in a guy trying to suck your dick might be a little too much

for your mother. That's why I kind of run the lot. It is one of those things where when you're in front of a Stanhope crowd the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thoes. theck is thoes. I to thoes. I'm tooes. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's is. I's is. I's is. I's is. I's is. I's is. I I I I I I I's is. I I I's. I. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t t. t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t the lot. It is one of those things where when you're in front of a Stanhope crowd there is a license to do something that you probably couldn't do during the week. Whether your mom's there or not you can actually unleash and do things and we've had that work. Well it's actually less of a license and more of a must. Yeah. Well yeah, more of a gun point. It's almost expected that that anything like that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thii. thi. that's that's thi. that's that's that's that's thi. thi. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. thi. thi. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. the. thee. the. that's that's that's that's the. thi. that's going to happen and when it does, no one's really shocked. I think if you actually went on to normal material, they might search you like, you know where you are. I always feel like I got to come up with horrible things in my life before I come work with Doug.

I gotta do some, I'm not doing shitty enough stuff. Yeah. I would feel that. How much time you spent? Oh, an hour a day. Two seconds, three seconds. Two, three seconds a month. You came up with one right when you got into the car tonight.

What's that? Your contest with the kid on the plane. Oh, right. You always have a today. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah. Yeah, th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. got in a fart contest with some kid and then they well that's kind of material. That's what people do and then they go back and they go, well it was funny about that and let's make it even funnier. And I just, you know, fuck that little ginger. You don't you don't fuck with a guy who's 52 years old when it comes to bowls. Winnner. Winn winner, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. I'm I'm I'm I'm a winner. I'm a winner. I'm a winner. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I th. I th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th th. I was th th th. I was th th th. I was th. I th th th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. th. thi thi thi thi th. thi thi th. thi thi thi. I thi. I was th. I was th. I was th. I'm so tired of winning Andy and Sam were just talking about how they could like in destroyed bathrooms I mean bathrooms War plays yeah, I got challenged by a little kid. I had two kids that weren't mine sitting by me on the plane and then I noticed one was Chasing out some gas and then the brother that was in the middle seat put his head down to smell his brother's ass and then he would check it to Against mine to see what was th th th th th th th th th th the th th th the th the th th th the th. the th. the th. th. the th. the the th. the thu. thu-I thu-I thu-I thu-I thu-I the thu-I thu-I thu-I thu-I thu-I thu-I thu-I thu-I thu-I thu-I thu-I. thu. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. I. I thu. I thu. I thu. I thu. I thr-I thrown. I'm thrown. I'm thrown. I'm thrown. I'm thrown. throwneeea-I throwne throwne throwne the the th smell his brother's ass, and then he would check it against mine

to see what was going on over there to see who it was. And then... Was this all nonverbal? Yeah, it's all nonverbal. He kept kicking me with his crock, so I'm like, dude, I'm going to take your shoe and put it in the toilet if you do that again. So we, we had, we had, we had, we had, we had, we had, we had, we had, we had, we had, we had, we had some, we had some, the fart thing just started silently and ended with a racket. Sam and I, well, let's get to the beginning. Where, I think two of three comedians that ever came out of Vegas.

Yeah, who are the three? Shuley from the Stern show. Oh yeah, Shuley. And then Joe Koi was, he's from there too. But he was in a different kind of group. He like, th, th, like, th, like, th, like, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. S. th. S. Sam, th. Sam, th. Sam, th. Sam, th. Sam, th. Sam, th. Sam, th. Sam, th. Sam, th. Sam, th. Sam, th. Sam, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, too. tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha. Sam, tha, tha. Sam, tha. Sam, he's from there too, but he was in a different kind of group. He like kind of moved quickly and went, because when I started, which was just after when you started, the local comedy clubs wouldn't let us play there, at least they didn't let me, it was like very... The strip would all, even

their fucking MCs, they'd bring him in from LA. So we had to be the street kids and go into bars and you had just left You'd realize you got to get out of here and then I had started and when I started there was one open mic Every other week. I remember that you had to go like deep in flamango or Durango or somewhere place like that I remember when I first met you I came in like I was some fucking king of Las Vegas, because I had moved and I was getting $125 a night. I'm going to walk back there like I'm a badass. I remember it too.

I remember exactly where you were sitting. You ran the open mic, right? I started my own mic because everyone was be like, what's your slow night? Give me a night and I would, every night I would be running my own show and you came over to a show at the wet stop which was across the street from the UNLV on Maryland Parkway. Wow. And you came out and I still remember where you were sitting and you were somewhat heckling me a little bit. And I'm like, dude we cool. And then for some reason it just got really, to, to, to, to, to, the, to, to to to the, to to to to the, to to the, to to to the, to the, to the, to be, to be, to be, the, to be, they.. And, they. And, to be, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, they.. I. I, the, the, they. I, they. I, they. I, they. I would, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, the, the, then for some reason it just got really cool right then it was always been really nice man you know so you always always would come in and do a little stage time we were I was such a street kid I had no clue how to play comedy clubs I was just a straight up

Vegas Bar comic when I moved to LA and like I had to learn how to play clubs and it's a totally different animal. Yeah you well you didn't even in Vegas in Vegas in Vegas in Vegas in Vegas in Vegas in Vegas in Vegas in Vegas in Vegas in Vegas in Vegas in Vegas. the the the the the the the the the the the the the to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I. I was. I was. I was th. I was th. I was just th. I was just th. I was just th. I was just to come. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was to. I was to. I was to. I was to. I was to. I was to. I was to. I was th. I was to. I was th. I was the th. I was the the the the and it's a totally different animal. Yeah, well you didn't even in Vegas when we started because you have no interaction with professional comedians. It was open mic and then there was the strip that wouldn't touch you. Yes. So maybe you could sneak in or buy a ticket to see professional comics but they're not talking to you. You're not hanging out with them. And it was just like, it was like such a different time for comedy too, like when you're looking

like what you were doing last night compared to what was, like, I started in a generation where everybody wanted to be Seinfeld and it was all like, you know, what's up with ice cream and like, ah, and you're like, I don't want to talk about, you know,the chaos going in my life and so it was impossible to get into those rooms so we just developed in like this week I'm you know we're like we were like that Japanese guy that got lost in the island and thought like World War II was going to like 50 years. Oh like Guam. Yeah we were just we were living by our own rules and making our own rules of comedy and like thi the like the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin th. I I thin th. thin th. I thin this this thin. We're th. We're th. We're just th. We're just wee. We're just wee. We're just just wee. We just wee. We just just just just just wee. We just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just, th. We th. We th. We th. We th. th. We are just just just just, we th. I I I I I I th. We're like, thin, thin, we're just, thin, thin. We're just, thin. We're just, you thin. We're just, you th. We were just, you th. We were just, you th. We were just, you thin. We were just, you thin. We were just what was going. I remember the open mic it was the escape lounge too and now it's the one I did my 25 year anniversary. I'm so pissed I missed that. Oh that's right you were just left town the night before. I was somewhere I had a gig that and I would have canceled if I could have. But the guy that ran at Ron Scron Ronnie Ronnie Ronnie. He was going to make it a big deal. He was always

going to make everything a big deal. He's like a fat creamer from Seinfeld. So he's getting someone from the riv to come down between shows for our open mic and he got Gichy guy where he's going to pay someone so we're going to be, you know, G know Gichi guy came down got heckled and said I don't come down to where you work and unplug the slurpy machine yeah the back of the room fell out the comics had never even heard the hackiest fucking heckler retort because they're so removed from regular comedy it's just a whole foreign thing dude like in living in the wild and within two weeks everyone had a version of that. And then they would always bring them down. It was just and it was like, I still at this day remember Bruce Baum. I don't know if you're

cool them, but that do cut my time for my first weekend ever playing a comedy club. What was a what was a club? It was the Riviera? All right. Yeah. Shira. Sh. Sh. Sh. Shisha. Shisha. Shisha. Shisha. Shisha. She. She. She. She. She. She. He the. He the the the the the th. He. He. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was the the the the the. It was the the the. the the. I the. the the. th. th. th. th. It was the what was a club? It was the Riviera. All right, yeah. Sharipa. Yeah. He let me open for, he let me open for Nick the Pallo, and then he asked me to bring me back like a week later and that was a huge deal. I remember that because they weren't letting anybody go up anywhere. Was it the dirty show? Yeah, I ate the dirty show. Yeah, I ate the dirty show. Yeah, I ate. It's dirty show. Yeah. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It was. It was. It. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It. It. It. It. It. It. It was. It was the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. He. He. He th. He th. He th. Let th. Let th. Let me th. Let me th. Let me let me th. th. Let me let me th. th. th. the. th. That happens. That's his wife yeah. And then I don't know if they got married but then he had some of the funniest fucking jokes and it was like this guy doing real like it was such structured material that I'd never seen before like really structured shit and it was like had this great bit about why is there a hooters in Vegas when you pay a chick five bucks a shit on your face? You know, it's like, you know, the whole time I was wondering that like, why are there hooters in Las Vegas, man? And I never understood structure.

So it took a long time for me to learn structure because we were just teaching ourselves. Yeah, that's not good. Yeah, the they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. We we were. We. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. It. It. It. Why. Why. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was..................................... the. the. the. the. the. stuff. I like to actually teach yourself once you get out of there to go, oh, don't do that. Yeah, that's knock on. A relearn. What do they call that with cults where they have to... Deprogram? Deprogram. And then like, you would, I would just hear stories about you.

And like, and I would just hear the story. in my opinion was like this kind of attitude is like okay oh you want me go do this fucked up shit I'll go try it just see if I can get a minute out of it you know because I would hear these stories about you and you know I remember these two guys show up and they were just hanging out I was like oh dude you you know Doug Samuel yeah he's fucking great he goes oh dude he just came to our job we do gay phone sacks and he just like dropped acid to gay phone sacks and I was like mushrooms I was like holy fuck and then I heard you do the whole bit on it and it was so fucking funny and I'm like the amount balls it would take to go fucking drop acid and do gay mushrooms it was mushrooms it's a the stories in the new book coming out Ralphie

made drop me off is that the coaching horses that's a lot, I'm not giving it away, it's in the fucking new book. Available when? October 31st but you order now on Amazon. to, so is this what number book is this? Two. Damn, that's amazing. But yeah, this one's just like the fucking road stories like that or not road stories, comedy stories. But, uh, when the audio th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thu, thu, thu, thu, thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thus thus th-a, th-a, th-a, th-a, thi, th-a, th-a' th-a' th-a, th-a, th-a, th-a, th-a, th-a, th-a, th-a, th-a, th-a, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th-a, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, the thin, the the thin, the the the the the th stories. But when the audio book goes out you want to do kind of like what we're doing here. You want to talk to people from the book where they just swap stories about incidents in the book which is the last audio book anyone that I could get that was in the book we just cut at some point in the book when they're mentioned and then because my memories dog shit. Yeah so and then we'll have like have like the the the the the the the to have the the the to have like the the the to have like the the the the the the the to have like the the the the the the the the to have the to have to have to have to have to have to have the the the the to have to have that that that that that that that that that I. that I that I that I that I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the.o. the. the. the.o. the. the. the. the.o. the. the. the. the. the because my memories, dog shit. Yeah.

So, and then we'll have like a brief mini podcast in the audio book, but this one I can't wait because... It worked well on that one, so this one has way more people. I gotta get Dantosh. Dantosh is in two different stories with, uh, yeah, where I, I'll fucking nail them down. I'll make him do it It's not a podcast just to tell your version of the story. I'll tell him in his Malibu place Yeah, his drug lord fucking house. He lives in I can imagine. I went to Dane Cook's drug lord fucking

fucking place. Oh really? Who's who owned this Pablo Escobar before you? Yeah, when you guys were trying, was his brother there when you knocked on the door? Probably not. Just running out a bath, this is not Dane's house anymore. No, he got properly churned out in Vegas, you might have that house. Yeah, that's so true. Take all those edges off, do some voices. Just repeat the safety over. Where do you see yourself in five years? I'm walking. I'm just walking. I'm just walking. Just walking. If you do it in a pop, he's so good. Yeah.

Well, the thing was we were gonna go to talk to him about being part of this Dublin's dock we were gonna do about the famous Dublin's comedy show Well I'm sorry is the one down on the on the Boulevard yeah I don't mean to be a cut but I was doing doubles double whiskey splash at coke that she puts so much fucking lemon juice in this this that I was getting acid reflux the the drink that you handed the empty drink did not have whiskey coke in there yeah it was like well I drained I'm sorry I'm I'm I I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the I was I was I was I was I was I was I I was I I I was I I I I I I I I I was I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I was I I I was I was I I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I'm a a a a a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th the the the th th the th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the empty drink, did not have whiskey coke in there. Yeah, it was. It was like...

Well, I drained it. I'm sorry, my belly hurts. Can I get a drink? Well, I'll get you something, but you just hand it. Can I get my... I heard more whiskey and less a vodka. Yeah. I have diverticulosis so when I get to this. Just kicked right in and then it sticks in my throat. What am I getting you here? Double whiskey splash of coke.

Yeah. Don't worry, Andy'll drink that. No, I'm gonna take this and throw in her face like we usually do when someone makes it. I'm going on six months of sobriety. No, I'll drink. What? Well, I was, uh... Anyone else? Yeah, I forgot you can't drink because he has his own story. We'll get to that on...

We... Me too, brother, together we're not drinking tonight. This is a swab cast, we'll get to Andy later. Should we do like a kumbaya thing that thinks, thank God for us. This is a teaser, sir. That's why I was trying to get back to a point in my life where I just got pulled over and arrested too much I get that I was like fuck it and I'm gonna take a break I respect the fuck I know you're doing great I didn't even know you're a fuck up well dude to be honest with you I had five years then I went out a little

while and now I'm back up to like six sixty days so but the last one was off just smoking weed and they realized I'm a the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last last the last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last one the last one the last one the last one the last one the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last. I the last. I the last. I the last. I'm the last one. I'm the last one. I'm the last one. I'm th. I'm th. I'm the last one. I'm the last one one one. I'm the last one one. I'm the last one. I'm the last one. I'm the last one. I'm smoking weed and they realized I don't like weed. Yeah, yeah. I was like, oh man everybody's doing it's basically legal and I realize I'm a go fast guy. I like to go fast. I like to go fast. I like, you know, because going fast always involves sex. I like the reason I love coke and the reason I was doing coke all time at the comedy store because they were just chicks hanging out they were they were just hanging out out out out the free the free the free the the the the the the the the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their their their their th. I thi. I was just just thi. I was just thi. I was just thi. I was just thi. I was just they's they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their. I I I. I liked. I liked. I liked. I liked. I liked. I liked. I liked. I liked. I liked. I like liked. I like like liked. I like like like like like they. I like like like liked. I'm like like the they. I'm liked. I'm liked. I'm they. I out for the free blow and the and the fucking- So you don't have a drug problem. I have a drug and sex, they're like tag team champions. The only time I'm ever interested in sex is if I'm doing fucking uppers. Right? And girls just let you treat them like fleshlights. They just let you light them up because they're like I'm not hungry you can do whatever you want. They just they just gack out on it by the

pussy yeah they just they don't give a shit here's a blow and you can finger blast them they don't care you do whatever you want is this an excerpt from Bill Cosby I can't wait to run yet just they go to sleep and justthere's nothing on the table. I don't get my whole thing is I want to be as brutally honest I'm never I'm not even close to Doug's level, but I I just want to be I just have this fear I'm going to get blackmailed at some point someone's gonna try to blackmail me and they'll be like well we're gonna tell everybody this I'm like it's on my second album. the second. I'm I I I I I I I I I I I I I it's I it's I it's I it's I it's I it's on it's I it's on it's on it's on it's on it's on it's on it's on it's on it's on it's on my th. It's on my th. It's on th. It's on th. It's on th. It's on th. It's on th. It's on th. It's on th. I'm not it's on th. I'm not it's on th. I'm not it's on th. I'm not it's on th. I'm not it's on the th. It's on th. It's on th. It's on th. It's on th. It's on th. It's on th. It's on th. It's on th. It's on their it's on their it's on their their their their their th. It's not their th. It's not their th. It's not th. I'm not their th. I'm not th. I'm not their th. I'm not their th. I'm not th. It's not I get to that point. Well, initially, you come out first with the store, you tell it and then no one's interested. I mean, if you make it funny, but no one can go, oh, yeah, no, I said it first. Yeah, you can catch me?

Yeah. What if we let everybody know you do this? It's like, well, I've already let them though. They all came all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they they they they they they th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. the. thathea. that they they they they they they they they th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. to to to to to to toe. toea. to. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toe. to. to.them know. They all came to my show with the Funny Bones at the Destiny Ball. Yeah. And they heard that. But I've found myself retreating for a couple of reasons where you get to a certain age where people are like involved in the story. You can't mention their names and without mentioning. That happened to me at the Comedy Store podcast I was talking about. There was a certain certain certain certain certain thome ccter ccome thome thome thome thome thome thome th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I've th. I've th. I've tho I've tho. I've tho. I've tho. I've tho. I've tho. I've tho. I've tho. I've th. I've tho. I've tho. I've tho. I've tho. I've tho. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've that. I've thate. I've tho. I've the. I've the. I've thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooe. I've the. I've th Store podcast I was talking about. There was a certain girl at a certain time who basically ushered cocaine back into the comedy store. And I called it the blah blah blah era, which was her name.

And she went, no, she tried to get legal stuff going on. And so it's like, okay, so I can't ever mention their names. But yeah, I mean like, so all my stories involve somebody crazy and they're just like I'm slowly get more and more honest with what I'm talking about on stage. Because I'm in my mid-40s, what am I hiding about anymore? You know? There's a difference between you being honest and you're not saying someone's name, you're not saying, you're not saying someone's name, that doesn't take the honesty out of the story. That's just self-preservation. No I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I get you you you you you you you thupt you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you thu-like thu- like thu- like thu- like thu- like thu- like thu that you not that you're not like thu thu thu that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's th. I that's th. I th. I th. I th. I that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that name, that doesn't take the honesty out of the story.

That's just self-preservation. No, I get you. I got you. Like I talk about how I was almost got molested twice. Because like that's... Yeah. Then the whole point is Mr. Watts and my mom asked me not to say his full name but I'm like he got convicted.

Mr. Watts me dress? Was Mr. Watts to show up and demand me? Yeah, but literally like he got weird like we were playing college, we were playing high school sports and we were like like at seven eighth grade. Mr. Watts would come in and shower with us and be like, okay, the the th, the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the th, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one th. th, one was th, one was th, one was th, one, one was th, one was th and one was th and one was th. th. One, one was th. One, one was th. One, one was th. One, one was th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. One, one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one playing college, we were playing high school sports and we were like in seventh grade and Mr. Watts would come in and shower with us and be like, okay, talk about the game. We're like, this is incredibly inappropriate. Why are we, why are you in the showers and I talked about it on stage? In my book, the first book, I talked about a gym teacher that was obviously, and he would linger in the showers and I didn't ever shower because I lived across the street and I...

You don't now, I assume that's where it came from. Yeah, you don't have to fall in. Why you gotta shower every day? You don't. Showers after gym class and Mr. Prince, they made me take that whole piece out of the book. I remember they had a big issue. The legal on the book was so fucking hardcore. Was the guy ever convicted?

No, I have no idea. But I remember the last day of school when I was moving anyway. I called him Fagg. I named my high school Bate who left me a prom and went and fucked a 10th grader. I'd talk about that on stage. It's like, my friend's like, you name her? I'm like, yeah, she knows she did it. It's called revenge, motherfucker. I dated you because I thought you were gonna fuck me. I dated you because I thought you were gonna fuck me. I dated you because I thought you were gonna fuck me. And you went home and fucked, the 10th grader, it's like go fuck yourself. Karma's a bitch. That's what when you hear the phrase, I think you're pretty, it means I want to fuck you, that's it. It doesn't mean I like anything about you. It says you're pretty.

The two girls asked me to Catillion, one was my friend, one of her, the second one was the biggest slut in school. I thought I was going to fuck her. It didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't, it didn't, it didn't the problem, it didn't the problem, it didn't, it didn't, it didn't the problem, it didn't the problem, it didn't that's didn't that's didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't it didn't it didn't it didn't it didn't it didn't it didn't, it didn't, it didn't, it didn't, it didn't, it didn't, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I'm I'm I'm I'm the problem, I'm the problem, I'm the problem, I'm the problem, I'm the problem, I'm the problem, I'm the problem, I'm the problem, I'm the problem, I'm the problem, I'm th. It's thin, I'm thin, I'm Is that what they teach you there? Yeah, Cattilian. Where the girls asked the guys. When did you move to Vegas? I moved in 91. Well, how old were you? I was 18.

Because your family's still here. So you just moved on your own? Yeah, I moved all. Okay, when I was young, my would just brainwash me in the getting out of upstate New York. You gotta get out of here. You know, got moved to Vegas. It's too late for me, save yourself. My dad's whole life is he is not living like a college kid in Prescott, Arizona. Him, his black girlfriend, and they just sit at casinos all day. Yeah, basically. And he just gambles all day. So he's kind thia the the the to to to the life to the life to live the life the life the life the life the life the life the life the life the life the life the life the life the life the life the life the life the life the life in the life in the life in the life in the life in the life in the life in the life in the life in to to to to to to the the the their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the th. the the that. the the the the the theinos all day. Your dad's De Niro? Yeah, basically. And he just gambles all day. So he's kind of living the life you want to. He's from that age where you had

to, you know, get married right out the gate or else you were gay. If you didn't get married by like 19, you were a Momo, right? They got married to my mom, both of them were miserable. their mom, to be a mrs. M. M. Both. Both. Both. Both. Both. Both. Both. Both. Both. Both. Both. Both. Both. Both. Both. Both. Both. Both. Both. Both. Both. Both. Both. Both. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the their, their, their, their, the the their, their, their, their, their, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, th. He. He. He. He. He. He was, th. He was, th. th. th. th. th. th. th th the th the the th the the the. the. the. Hea. He would And which is a four hour drive it should be a two hour drive my mom driving It's a four hour drive and she would drive like this Which would an elbow up beside so she couldn't see my father She didn't want to look at my dad and we're like mom do you have a condition? She's like no We I can't fucking stare at this kind again Yeah, maybe if I look at my elbow all the time I can get another year in that that was because it was right before just the people did still didn't get divorce it was just the beginning of everybody like I'm fucking out like home mark Exist in that like I'm the 40s I'm in my 40s late 40 40s, mid-40s. Mid-40s. Mid-early.

Let's not go too crazy. No, 44. Oh, wow, that's me. Yeah. My mother divorced my dad because it was cool at the time. They divorce was the thing and she admitted that. Yeah. And it's like most divorces are done by women. because they're like, and I get half the shit, why not? Why wouldn't I get the fuck out of here? But then it wasn't.

And it's very interesting because you ever think about your childhood and how it affects your stand-up? Like for me, like I listen, you know Theo Vaughan? You ever listen to Theo Vaughan? Well, I listened to him. We were talking about how as a kid, he hated, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, to to to to to to to to to to to to thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th... And, th. And, th. And, th, th. And, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thia. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, people. And now he's like this insane storyteller, to the point where you always go, is that a real story? And then you realize it could be a fake fuck.

Me and my friends, we just stopped fighting and we just started ripping each other new assholes. Like, there's this pizza reel called Pontillos, and if you sat in the wrong booth, you would just get verbally assaulted, and you just just, thiiiiii, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to, to, to, thi, thi, thi, to, to, to, thi, and th. th. th. th. And, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, th. And, and, and, th. And, th, th, th, th, th, th, th.......... And, th, th, th, th, th, th.. And, th. And, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to, to, to get fast and you had to learn how to start fucking slicing and dice and people and that's why I'm really good at like crowd work and shit like that because I got my ass handed to me for so long as a kid and then I remember the first time in Vegas where I killed a heckler and it was just like oh you know it's like this is what

I'm supposed to do. Yeah the, once you do that, that's all the crowd wants. They get blood lust, mob mentality, and they want more... They don't want you to go back to that story about the time that you missed your greyhound bus. No, dude, kill me! Talk about this fucker, dude. Yeah. Yeah So yeah, I moved out Vegas in 91. I wanted to be a stand-up since I remembered and then I did What like why Vegas? Okay for two because my dad just convinced me that I should move the Vegas a little did I know

It was a ploy so he could buy a house for me to rent out and they could write off on his taxes. They had to go to Vegas all the time and you were 18. I was 18 and then I'm Armenian. I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm Ar. I'm Ar. I'm I'm I'm I'm Arme. I'm I'm I'm Arme. I'm I'm I'm I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the their the the the the their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. the th. the the th. th. It was th. It was the the the the th. It was the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was the th. I was the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. ti. toda. toda. think why did you leave chasing a girl to Phoenix oh is that where you went to Phoenix yeah I was in love so I moved I had done comedy for six months oh no 91 sorry yeah March of 91 because I started in August of 90 and I left in March of 91 To chase this girl and I got a house MC gig at a Moribund a comedy club for like six months before it died Up in Phoenix, yeah, I try well-known like I feel like you came out Yeah, but you were a legend back you would one other guy do you remember the other guy you? It was two of you had started it? you were already? to? thrown. It was? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. this. this. this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the th. th. the to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to., but you were a legend back. You and one other guy. Do you remember the other guy?

It was two of you had started it. Rob Rock was the other guy. Rob Rock who eventually came out that it was almost all his stuff he stole. I remember he's putting together an album or something. And I only saw him perform once. I never saw him perform ever again. Yeah, he he he, he, he, he put together several albums. Yeah, he came out that he's, had stolen everything he did, but he got pussy. Yeah. That's the only reason we were in the game.

That's why you started, right? Even if you steal pussy, there's no way to get it back. Once you own it, it's yours. It was so much fun doing to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to do to to to do to stand the to stand to do to stand to stand to stand to stand to the to do to do the to stand to the to the the the the the th. the to get it back. Once you own it, it's yours. It was so much fun doing stand-up and comedy. How long did you do stand-up there before you left? I think three or four years and then I'd gotten, I basically had my own show on the Vegas trip at what was then the holiday in? Do you remember the holiday in that was on Vegas trip? It had the giant roll. It was like like th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the thi. thi-I. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the th. the the the the the the the the th. th. th. the they. th. th. th. they. th. they. they. th. th. they. they. they. they. they. Once, the they. Once, they. Once, the they. Once, they. Once, thi. Once, they. th. th. th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's the the they. I was. I was. I was. I was the they. I was the the in that was on Vegas trip and had the giant roll? It was like such garbage but they gave me my own show and we were so filthy that they freaked out after like three weeks and they're like you got to go. But I had my own show there and then I was in an improv true true called a mutiny and we had basically had we were in all the boulder casinos every night we'd be their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. they. they. they. they. they. their their they. they. th. they. they. I was they. And they. And I was they. And I was they. And I was they. And I was they. And I was they. And I was th. And I th. And I th. And I th. And I I was th. And I was th. And I was th. And I was th. And I was th. And I was th. And I was the. And the. And the. And the. And th. And th. And t. And today. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And they. And they. And the Boulder Casinos. Every night we'd be doing a different Boulder Casino getting paid, a hundred bucks a show. That time that's fuck you money when

you start, right? And then I started doing a couple things that was Sharipa and after that all kind of I was like, oh I didn't. For the listener and I, this actually came up in an interview and I think it's in the new book but Shrippa. He's a he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, thu, he was, thu, thu, thu, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thu, the, thu, they, they, thu, thu, thi, thi, thin, they, they, the, the, the, the, the, th. I was, th. I was, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th. th. to, th. th. Yeah, that, that, that, that, that, that's, that's, th. Yeah, the new book but Shrippa he's he was what was his character Bob it was a big pussy it was Bobby Balaclava some something like that like like one of the first lieutenants on the he plays a dumbered a dullard on but he was a. But he was he was one of his totallies main guys but he ran the Riviera Club like he was you thought he is the fucking mob. Yeah. And his famous quote is you're doing seven minutes not 7-01 not 699. 7 you don't so we but when you that triple-X show that you did

for him that's where I like he would slap me in the face. I came off a triple X show that you did for him, that's where I, like he would slap me in the face. I came off a triple run when I, like, now I'm getting booked. And they finally booked me for a regular show. And I did some shit that, and I'm doing it at the river, and he fucking slapped me in the face. But my puppy going into heat in the car. It's just like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like, it, it, it, it, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the th, th, the th, th, that, th, th, th, th, that, that, th, th. that, th. th. th. th. that, that, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I, I, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, I. I. I. I, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, I. I. I. I. I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's, that's, tri. tri. tri. tri. tri. th. th. the car. It's just like shit that, and I'm doing it at the riv and he fucking slap me in the face. You don't do that fucking puppy, pushy shit my fucking club.

And then years later when he's doing that triple X, he's like, instead of you're doing seven, not seven, to one, six, ninety he goes, this is triple X rated. You don't, all, all, all, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, th, th, th, th, just, just, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, th, the the the the th, th, the th, th, th, th, th, th. th. thi, that, that, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, and thirty, and thirty, thi, and thi, th. th goes this is triple X rated you don't say pushy you say cunt All right Don't slap me changed though just think about how the rules were and what you had to do to do your type of comedy and like now It's just like you sold out the fucking funny boat in Syracuse New York. It's like such a different fucking time well now. I've it's I've done 26 years of this so I have my own audience that I could the fucking the fucking the the fucking the the fucking the fucking the fucking the fucking the fucking the fucking the fucking the fucking the fucking the fucking the fucking the fucking the fucking the fucking the fucking th the fucking th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I could th. th. thu-cun- I thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thun- I thun- I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th's to to to tho to tho to to to tho tho tho tho tho the tho tho tho tho, now I've done 26 years of this, so I have my own audience that I could not offend unless I got sober or found Jesus, the only way I could lose them. But I, people ask me, hey, how has comedy changed? Because I hear, you know, oh, you can't,'t but you do you still do spots at the comedy store for regular people I refused to do I only do comedy when I'm

getting paid by my audience that knows what they and that's a beautiful thing did I would love to I don't know I'm just a stagehoard dude it's like the night before I did an hour and every night for like six seven nights at there like four nights in a the funnigh I would love to. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I to the the the the the the the the th. I the th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I I I I I I th. I I I th. I I th. I I th. I th. I'm th. I th. I'm the th. I'm the the th. I th. I'm th. I th. I'm the. I'm to the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I to. I to. I the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the th night before I did an hour and every night for like six, seven nights that there were like four nights in a row at the funny I love doing stand-up. I just love to see how far I can go with these crowds and if I don't walk a couple crowds a couple tables I don't feel like it did my job. I don't even like talking at all, much less on stage. Every time I, but it's made me appreciate comedy more when I go to LA, I'll watch shows,

I'll laugh at people that I would usually excoriate when I lived there. Right. That's not, you know, it's derivative of this and then. Now I actually enjoy comedy because I don't see it. Yeah, well that's why I wanted to come watch you is because I don't get to watch a lot of people that my friends and just people I look up to. Like it's beginning to end. Yeah. It's a luxury when your road come. That's great. But when you can actually sit and watch an entire set and watch like how it work, why it work, what works, how do you do that? Like, are you... And having known the crowd the week before, like what that area is like. But that's also, if I have to, if I say oh yeah I'll do a 10 minute spot, first of all, I don't have 10 minutes. I have a bit that's 22 minutes. No, that's great. I don't th, if I th, if I th, if I th, if I th, if I th, I th, I th, if I th, I th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that, that, that's that's that's that's that's tho tho that's that, that, that, that, that work it work work work work work work work work work work work work work work that work th th th th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th th. th that, that, that, that, that, that's that's that's that's that, that's that's that's that's that, that's that's that's that, that's that's that, that's great. I don't know how to cut it up but if if I'm gonna do a set I'm gonna be in my head about what am I gonna say I'm not watching the

show so I'd rather just watch the show. I get that but I also like putting shows together at the comedy store where it's like oh Doug's gonna be in town then Rogues the the then Rogan's gonna be in town then Chrysler's gonna be let's do a show where everybody can just get up there and talk a lot of shit and have a lot of fun I love doing those too. Well last night I forgot to mention it I last night's show was three people that were on the best podcast that thrown. Yeah I am so thi thi thi I thi I thi I'm thi. I'm thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho-a' tho' tho' tho' tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho' tho' tho' to go on. I really did expect that and I was sitting in the back. I was just three out of my four favorite guys. You, Rogan, Bill Burr were there. The only one that I, if David Tell was there, my head would have exploded.

But that's like my favorite four. And then to be able to and just you know just sitting there. Keep running. Yeah nobody tackles you keep running. You know and I'm just like watching all this and it was like I don't know if you'll ever have a podcast that will hit so well because of what was going on that night. Nobody expected that. No for this ch to just flame out and not win and it's just like everybody in there is there there is there is there is there is there is there is there is there is there is there is there is there is there is there is there is there is there is there is there is there is there is there is there is there is there is there is there is there is there is there is there is there is thi thi thi thi. Nobody thi. Nobody thi. thi. thi. Nobody thi. thi. Nobody thi. Nobody thi. No thi. No thi. No thi. No thi. No thi. No thi. No th. No th. No th. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. No they. they. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to thi thi thi thi thi they. they they they they thi they thi. No. No. No. No expected that. No. For this chick to just flame out and not win and it's just like everybody in there is all your guys as fucking fans and like to have you guys talking them through this insane moment in this country was it'll

never be like that. Live updates, Marilyn Manson backstage. I just wanted to find out condoms we're gonna be necessary. Just like that was really my biggest thing. Then the night before, bingo, you know? th. I I I I I I I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the th. I th. I th. I have the th. I have th. I have th. I was th. I was th. I was th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. Everybody. Everybody. Everybody. Everybody. Everybody. Everybody. Everybody. Everybody. Everybody. Everybody. Everybody. Everybody. Everybody. Everybody. Everybody. Everybody. Everybody. Everybody. Everybody. Everybody. Everybody. It they. Everybody. It is they. It was the they. It's they. It's they. It's just just just just just just just. I was the the the the the the to. It's just. I was. the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. they. they. Everybody. Everybody. Everybody to be necessary. I just like that was really my biggest thing. The night before bingo you know air flight it out you know I have so many back stories. No memory of like I remember fucking having to bail into the shower. Somehow they have a shower in the back of the room. The girl peed on me or tried to pee on me in that shower one time we had a running bet with this chick that she wouldn't pee on me she go I'll pee on you like it started getting some weird like deer hunter thing what wait she couldn't make product she did well it's a funny story actually isn't it easy to fake peeing in a shower yeah we didn't turn on the shower we were just laid down every you know what I was I was I was waiting for a to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to the to to to to to to the the the the the to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. the. the. the. I the. I the know what, I was, I was waiting for a, when Andy

was about to go on a tangent so I could pee, but since you brought it up. Oh, we do have to take a break anyway. Yeah, this break is sponsored by urine. Diddle. We'll get back to the P story right after these messages. Greg Chaley, big fan of Dollar Shave Club. We're not beardy people like the Glenn Wools and the Brendan Walsh's of the world. No, we shave like gentlemen. Like gentlemen. Be a gentleman gentleman get ready for the show

Yeah, absolutely shave is part of it. It's kind of like our suits we suit up for a show Because if they came to see a show they don't want to see some douche bag in a t-shirt with a beard Some kind of ironic journey tee shirt. No, they want to see someone? Shaved up and Showered shined no showered nirdnessed shined. No, shined? No, theird n. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, theired. No, theired. No, theired. No, theired. No, theired. Showered. Showered. Showered. Showered. Showered. Showered. their theired. Shoved. Shoved. their their their their their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, shaved. Shave. Shave. Shaved. Shaved. Shaved. Shaved. Shaved. Shaved. Shaved. Shaved. Showered. Showered. Shavoured. Shavoured. Shavoured. Shavoured. their their their th. Shave th. Shave th. Shave th. Shave th. Shave th. Shave th. Shave their their th. Shave their their their their their they want to see someone shaved up and shower well-dressed shined no showered necessarily I can't back you up on that they're not gonna smell you from that distance tell me about dollar shave club because Charlie you have a history I have it I just looked it up I I became a member of Dollar Shave Club on October 8, 2012. When you say member, do you guys meet up every third Saturday?

Yeah, it's kind of like, we do poker rallies. How does Dollar Shave Club work? Do they send you, do they know when you need a shave? How does Dollar Shave Club work? Dollar Shave? Do they know when you need to shave? Actually what they do is they are available to send you what you need to shave. And the beauty is there's no hidden costs and there's no commitments. You can just put it on hold at any time. Say like you got, you want to grow out a little stubble. You

want to try that for a while. You want to attack her beaver with a vengeance that makes her dump you so you don't have to feel the pressure of dumping her. You can grow out some stubble. I don't know how it works. Dollar Shave Club, it's a smart choice. Get a great shave at a great price. And they got a really really to to to to to to to to the the to to their tha thuuuui thui thui thui thui thui thui. thuiole thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thuu thu thuble thu. thuu. try. try. try. try. try try try try try try try try try thu thu thu thu thu th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thu. try. try. try. try. to to to try to to try to to to to try try to try try try try try try try try try try thu. Get a great shave at a great price. And they got a really good deal right now. For a limited time, get your first month with the executive razor. That's the highest level. That's the highest package. 17 blades. I think it's six. It's too many for me. I have the four blade. I have my issues with too many blades. But you get all the way down to two blades. But you get the for a limited time, they've got a first month, you get the executive razor

with a tube, three ounce tube of Dr. Carver's shave butter, which I've used that for a couple years now. And for only five bucks, plus free shavings. I used to use analies. Now I use the the the the the the the the the the the, I use, I use, I use, I use, I use, I use, I use, I use, I use, I use, I use, I use, I use, I use, I use, I use, I use, I use, I use, I use, I use, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the executive, the, the executive, the executive, the executive, the executive, the executive, the executive, the executive, the executive, the executive, the executive, the executive, the executive, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the, the, the threat, the executive, the, the. the executive razor, the. You mean Dr. Carver's shaved butter. You haven't used it yet. I use it. I'm just, I used it the wrong way is what I'm saying. I was in a tight spot and a pickle. Did you just make that sound effect with your mouth? You wanted a tight spot sound.

That's what the red light was for. I thought you actually hit a button. I'm like there's no button. Go ahead. It's a $15 value. It's always free shipping and you're going to get that first month with the executive razors. It's four cartridges and the three ounces of Dr. Carver Shaved Butter is really good. It's really smooth on skin and it's clear so you can see the beard that you're shaving a lot of times shaving cream it's it's that the foam you know those those ones we've seen forever and you can't see this what you if you want to carve a dollar sign or you want to do some LA Clippers logo there you go

how can you do that if you've got a big thick white beard? I don't know but I know you just said the word that my audience will appreciate only five bucks. Yeah. Even my audience has five bucks. And like I said before, no commitments. You can you can put it on hold at any time, you can cancel it any time, there's no hidden fees, and the replacement cartridges come each month, or you can go every other month. If you join ISIS and they go, no, you have to grow the shit out, there's no commitment. You can't go, oh, I joined Dollar Shave Club, but I also want to join ISIS where I need a beard because it's a Muslim thing.

No, no, you can just pick one way or the other. Put it on hold, maybe you don't know if this Muslim thing's going to work out. Maybe the town is being overrun by American Patriots and now you need to shave. Yep, that's when you go to the seven blades because you're going to need all of them to get rid of that fuzz. Yeah, that's thick. You made a bad decision. You know what? Sometimes the only way out of ISIS is Dollar Shave Club. You can only get this exclusive offer at DollarShave Club.com.shashave club.com slash Stanhope.

It's your only way out of ISIS. Dollar Shave Club, it's a smarter choice. All right, red lights on. Red light on. Red light on. Red light go, kids. We pissed. We got a new round of drinks for me and Jaili. And I broke up a conversation between Sam Tripoli and Andy Andres.

Someone, I had to do some interview. I think it was Playboy.com, where I had to do two, I had to do press for the last CISO special with Murphy and Glenn Wool and Brendan Walsh. I did Playboy. tho, like a lot, like really, am I doing a radio shack in store? Yeah. AOL. AOL build is a new product that they've got.

A new what? But it's Playboy and AOL to defunct. Anyway, the point is that someone said, you know why do LA Comics get all this shit and New York Comics and I like I didn't even know this is a thing but that's this is what I walked into well there's always been a LA Comics versus New York Comics and I've you know my problem is I've always been at the comedy store which has been its own kind of like mecca dojo You know of certain things going now. It's like an insane asylum of the lineup

It's great. It's awesome. It's awesome like I I get to go and be part of these insane lineups, you know, but I got to go out. to do? Oh, sorry, I got to go out and do? I'm? the I'm to go. to to the the to the the the the the the th, the th, the th, the th, the the th, the the the th, the the th. the the the the the the th. thin. their, their, th thin, you. their, you're, you're, th. th. th. th. the, the, the, the, the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th... th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, you. I'm, you're, you're, you know, th. thin, you're, you're, you're, th. th. th. th. th. th. thin. th th thin. th th thin. bit because everyone's always tell me go out there and I was like, okay, I'm gonna play the, the, you know, the Funny Bone and then Skank Fest has happened a week before I go out and do Skank Fest and have fun and I got the gig out there and it was like Deskad Sk Fosk Feds with Skank Fan, so it was a today. the todayfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffn, the their, their, you thi, you their, you thi, you're their, you're their, you're their, you're the fun fun, you're fun, you're the fun, you're the fun, you're the fun, you're the fun, you're the fun, you's, you's funny, you's funny, you's funny, you's funny, you's funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny, you's fun, you's fun, you's fun, you's funn, you's funn, you's funn, you's funn, you's funn, you's funn, the funnit funnit funnit, thiiii, thi, thinin, thin, thin, thin, the funn' fn'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n't know, you know, the fun, you know, the fun, you know, the fun, the fun, the funn't the funn't told me a quote that Duncan Trussle had really what I thought really was pretty pinpoint accurate and that the difference between LA comics and New York comics is like New York City comics tend to be like counterculture more whereas LA comics can't are conformist. They can't conform quick enough. They're just begging to conform. Like it's the LA comics who are just always outraged about everything Just hoping to get a couple X or Twitter followers are going or you know

It's like whatever like some chick snitches on some guy that was like hey you want to fuck She's like no and he's like fuck. And then she screenshots it and puts it everywhere and then everyone's outrage That a guy we got you know was mean to a chick, you know, and they's, she, she, she, she, she, she's, she's, and they's, and they're, and she's, and she's, and she's, and she's they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they's like, they're they're they're they're they're they's like, they's like, they's like, they's like, they's like, they's like, they's like, they's like, they's like, they's like, they's like, they's like, they's like, they's like, they's like, they's like, they's like, they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the to a chick you know and they're the quickest ones I know they're the dudes who are mean to chicks shit on that guy who is mean to a chick yeah like dude how could you do that because they're just trying to get more pussy that I know like are known for like filming chicks sucking their dick their girls thi they're thii they're their their that that that their that their that their their they're known they're known their they're known they're known thi they're known thi thi they're known they're known they're known they're known they're known they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're to to to to to to to to thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the thi thi thoo the the thoo the the the the the theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee they're they're they girls don't know that or they got restraining orders out against them by their ex-girlfriends but they're like yelling and screaming on the internet demanding women but guys respect women respect them all in the hopes that maybe some shadow grouping of gay guys who run Hollywood will fucking give them an audition on a TV show or some fucking

shit like that they can't conform quick and what I've noticed I am not there a lot because it's a fucking Living breathing cancer the LA I do I think about I'm just I think about leaving all the time. Yeah, I'll miss the store Yeah, it's the fuck this store is Unbelievable firing all cylinders. Yeah, I got into comedy right when comedy died in 1990 after the 80s boom and I left when it's just having even bigger than it was. It's well Rogin and Dom were both from Dom even more than Joe but they're both kind of have one foot one era one foot in this new era and they say this one's way better than that old one.

It's fantastic. It's great man and there's so many outlets now but I just love being in New York. You can't. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th th th th. I have having having having having having having having having having having having having th. I have th. I have having having having having having having having having having having having having having having having having having having having having having having having having having having having having having having.. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I old one. It's fantastic. It's great man and there's so many outlets now but I just love being in New York and you can't say, I mean, and the reason I think that New York is better than LA in terms of comedy is because everybody lives on top of each other in New York. In LA when you really look at it, it's so segregated. Rich Jews over here, their thia over here, you know, are gay guys here, whatever it is, it's all the, nobody's interacting with each other, so they get all offended because they're not on top, and they don't realize everybody's assholes, and they should all get ripped new assholes, you know what I'm saying?

Like that's my business, everybody should have to work at Denny's for two years and then at the end of it you would really have there be no political correctness it's like service like equally hate each other like service in like Israeli army yeah but for here just be denie yeah you have to work the graveyard two years or the universe shit on your chest everybody understands what hash browns are yeah right we can go on from there yeah we'd be like black people don't they they really they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th th th th th th I th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to theee the the the the the the th. Everyone's like they don't. They really don't. They really don't. And no one would get offended. That's uh, when I go there, I'm always just, they're so happy to be like around comedians. I don't want to do a set. I want to hang out. You're talking about the store. You're talking about the store. the the store. the store. the store. the store. the store. the store. the store. the store. the store. the the store. the the store. the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the the th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the the tho. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. tho. the. the. the. th're talking about the store. The store, when you go to the store now, it's fucking booming.

We did a couple of- Did we talk about this on a podcast or did I talk about this? We've talked about a couple times. We're fucking with Chris Rock and Dave Spade and I'd already taken my Xanax? All right, I've already told that story. I've that story. I've that story. I've that story. I've already that story. I've that story. I've already that story. I've that story. I've already that story. I've that story. I've already that story. I've already that story. I've already told told told told told told told told told told told told th. Did told told told told told told told told told to to to to to to to to to to to to talk. Did to talk. Did to talk. Did to talk. Did to talk. Did to talk. Did to talk. Did to talk. Did to talk. Did to talk. Did to talk to talk to talk to talk to talk about to talk about th. Did th. Did th. Did th. Did the. Did the. Did we the the. Did we to to the. Did we to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to Is this leading into the Andy Dick situation? Yeah, that was all. I ended up making out with the Andy Dick. And you made out an Andy Dick? Yeah, a couple weeks ago. Just happens. Well, he didn't fucking know who I was. I didn't like that. It was biting. That was less making out and more biting. Did he know where anybody? Who anybody was at that point? He gets black out. No, I was the one. I. the one. the one. the one. the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. that. th. th. that. that was. that was. that was. that was. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.............................................................................................................................................. He gets blackout crazy. I was the one, I wasn't going there. I was going down the hill to get cigarettes and I go, well if I have to go down this hill,

I might as well go two blocks up to the comedy store even though I already took my Xanax and I only take it to sleep and then I don't remember shit. But I remembered that especially after seeing all the pictures. I, uh, so he's doing this charity. I went, ew, like it was a lemon club. Ew. Oh, lemon party, Jesus. Levin party. Yeah, we're gonna, those are pictures we got last night.

Remember that old fuck that came to two shows in a row, you fucking thus. Oh, you hate that I know I know I know that you hate it? Yeah. Because they see behind the curtain of comedy where it's the same shit. But they're still pain and they just want to watch but I'll tell you what happens if I if they tell me at the merge booth, hey I'm going to the show tomorrow and I go all right let me feel you in buddy. the the th. thinal. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the you're thi. the' they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th they're th. th. they's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they're th. they're th. th. the. they're thee. theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeean. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they in, buddy. Don't brag that to Doug at the merge booth tonight because I know that's what you want to do. That's why you're running up by me. I was saying, buy your t-shirt or don't buy your t-shirt,

but don't tell him that because he will make an example and then the next night tell him I was at last night show too, and then he can't do anything because thagnenenenene. because he's because he's because he's because he's because he's because he's because he's because he's because he's because he's because he's because he's because he's he's thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, that he's that he's that he's that he's that he's that he's thin, that he's that he's that he's that he's that he's that he's that he's that he's that he's that he's that he's that he's that he's that he's that he's that he's that he's that he's that he's that he's that he's that he's that he's to to to that he's to to to to to to th to th th th th th th th th thin, thin, th th thin, th th th the thean th thean thean toean th toean toean toe an toe an toe an toe an to to but it's just a thing that fucks with your head. I'm totally like hot dumb chicks think that you are making up as you're going. It's you know it's like oh you said the same thing oh my god I can't believe I let you show. She's on my tents. Hot dumb chicks are the first people to walk out on their boyfriend who will stay. Yeah. That's a sure sign you got to break up. You want to know if a girl's could bring her to a Doug Stanhope show. If she laughs, that's a keeper. I've had so many people over the years. Hey, I played your DVD special, whatever for her just to see if she didn't laugh, she's fucking out of here. And I've had a couple of chicks tell me that which is random but very fulfilling that yeah he's gonna like you before I will.

Yeah it's kind of like it if my dog doesn't like you I'm not gonna have a second date. Well who's I did? My girlfriend likes to say the N-word a lot and jokes. He's like it really offends me. I'm like why it's a joke if you guys are just hanging out. I mean like if. My th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi's thi's thi's teeeeeee. teeeeee. tee. ty. thi. thi's thi's thi's thi's jokes. He's like it really offends me. I'm like, why? It's a joke if you guys are just hanging out, I mean like if she's going around calling people that, that might be a problem. But if you're having sex and she's dropping M-bombs on you, that's a keeper. This is a... You, Narcissist. Yeah. You nagger! You nagger! Net hole. We goofed on it earlier that that that that that that that that that that that that that th on it the the th on it the th on it ed on it earlier the the Donald Trump thing it was just locker room talk and you go well You should get in a green room because your locker room talk is pretty fucking a week. Yeah if all it is is grab him by the pussy. Yeah in a fucking green room with hilarious premise but like where do you go? Yeah. Yeah. I hate when like people attack Trump for the wrong reasons. I cannot agree with that. I like I do this thing called tworking in politics where I because I think it's like the most

vapid form of entertainment is twirking. You know these girls who make hundreds of thousands of dollars just smacking their ass cheeks. I take, I rip their videos from Instagram and I put political messages over them, right? Because I just think it's, it's just idiocracy. But it's like, there's real reasons to hate Trump. This Russian shit is not one of them. You're making shit up. And that's how you know the media's all in on it because they're going after net neutrality. That is way worse than fucking everybody taking bribes from the Russians which is what's true.

I did a bit when Bush was running for office I don't know the first time or the second time. I have to be junior. Yeah the Bush junior. Where they were like he got a DUI died in 72. Oh yeah, October surprise it was a big deal. Yeah. Yeah. They wait. They held that one out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. When this happens. For my fans, yeah, you have half of you had a fucking DUI. You're not focusing on and it's us. Yeah. Comedians that are like, come on, don't throw fucking stones of glass houses or whatever. Yeah, 100%. I see people going off on the CNN video that Trump put out.

These comments like, I cannot believe he's going at the press like that. Dude, it's CNN. They're fucking assholes. Why do you get a fuck? I've switched to Fox News, and that that that that that that that doesn that doesn that doesn't that doesn't that that that doesn't that that th th th th th th th th th th th th th press like that. Dude, it's CNN. They're fucking assholes. Why do you get a fuck? I've switched to Fox News and that doesn't work. And then I just go to headline news where that over bright, fucking white teeth, Robin Mead girl, she has a fucking super bright teeth. I just want the newser, I want the USA Today of News. Give me the beats. I don't want to USA Today of News. Give me the beats. I don't want to panel of nine people shouting over each other. Tell me what you think what I should be thinking.

Yeah, I want, what I've learned, just watch the fucking ABC, ABC, 6 o'clock news like your dad did when he was watching fucking Cronkite. Get 30 minutes. That's the, uh, I saw last night the, the 70s, that CNN thing, and then Cronkite came up and they were reporting about the Vietnam War, and it's like that was when it was like, that was just a fax, ma'am. Like, no Friday, just a fax. And it's so different because when you're doing CNN or you're doing entertainment television, which is for news, they have to fill.

So they're going to run the CNN Trump WWF video over and over because they have to stretch. They're just trying to fill 24 hours of fucking news. Here's a guy who's going to say something, Kunti, but let's have five people here to defend that Kunti. And let's just fill up 45 minutes of Kunti fucking talk and that's what the yeah it's like what was anything else going on in the news? I want to just find out what's going on and then make my own opinion of it. I don't want you to tell me so this is what you just saw that's what they tell you Juan and fucking... They won't report it. This is what someone meant when they said this. Yeah. Wait a minute. I can't just hear what he said and for my own opinion. Yeah.

Well I think when the president keeps getting verbally attacked he's got a verbally attack back. Stupid shit fucking. He's an asshole. That's all you. He's an he's like there's an asshole. the he's like. He's like. He's like. He's like. He's like. He's like. He's like. He's like. He's like. He's like. He's like. He's like. He's like. He's like. He's like. He's like. He's like. He's like. He's like. He's like. He's like. He's like. He's like. He's like. He's like. He's like. He's like. He's like. He's. He's. He's the the the the the the the the the the. He's the. He's the. He's the. He's the. He's got. He's got. He's the. He's the. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He's. He. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's the. He's. He's the. He's the. He's the. He's the. He's. He he is an asshole but he's yeah he's like there's real asshole reasons to hate him oh yeah keep telling us to hate him for nothing because the real shit is what you could apply to Hillary or an Obama that stuff if they had you start paying attention to that you start paying attention to what all they're all doing and they don't want that so they got to pick something that is so retarded that that that that th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th I th I th I th I that that they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th th the to to the the to the the the the they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they retarded that it can't stick to anything else. But that's what people know about. I don't give a fuck at all. I want to hear alligator ate a baby out of his dad's hands in Disneyland.

Like the news of the weird kind of shit. Feel good pieces. And now, CNN is so overwhelmed. Like everything's Trump and I don't I never cared. I don't care. It doesn't really affect my life. That's why I get my news from conspiracy threats on Reddit. That's where I go get my I heard. Chaley told me that you have a podcast that was all about fucking JFK assassination. Like the Tinfoil Hat Podcasts, is that like 25 episodes? Was that yes related?

Yeah, well, once the election started going through and, you know, I was a Bernie guy, like, I keep wanting to believe in the political process. Bernie's coming back. I keep wanting to believe in it so I get sucked into it and Bernie was my guy and then I would just start to see them just ripping it from them, giving it to Hillary and I was like dude you guys don't see this that one's like no I don't see it I'm with her and you're like and they like all the stuff they were bashing everybody I'm like you could easily say it about the Clinton's so the cli... the the th I I I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi. th. I was just th. I was just just just th. I was just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just. I was. I was. I was. I was like. I'm like like. I'm like like. I'm like like. I'm like like like. I'm like, like, like, like, like, like, they's like, like, like, like, like, they's like, like, like, like, they're like, they're like, the the the the they. I'm like, the they. I'm like you could easily say it about the uh the Clintons so everything they were bashing Trump on I'm like the Clintons did the exact same thing so then it just became this whole thing where I just I wanted to pick

some I enjoy talk I when I you know I had a couple different podcasts podcast and one of a I always say what can I talk in a hundred episodes 200 episodes and I have like conspiracy I love it so that's the gist of a t. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi the I'm the the th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the. the. the. the. the. the. te. te. te. te. te. te. the. the. the. the. the. the. th it. So that's the gist of Tinfoil Hat. Yeah, Tim Foil Hat is with my friend Ryan Davis who's a huge fan of yours. He just wanted to let you know if you needed anyone murdered. He would do it for you. He heard the name James Inman. Okay. Just gonna float that out there as a possibility. James Inman once gave me some shit on Facebook. And I just love to see how long I can get people on the thread to go and I'll just be like what do you mean what are you trying to say your point and I'll just say differently and I see how long I didn't get that go with me yeah that's it been just kept going I would just be like why are you saying this to me and then it would be like a fucking

war and peace comment they'd be like what's the point just one line war and peace comment yeah I'm glad people are still fucking with Inman cuz I don't have the time yeah yeah inman is that's the key with inman is how few words can I spill out and how many can I get in return yeah what I've like three four words and get a thousand in return I won't read him because it's fucking in men blah blah blah blah blah you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you. you. you. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. Yeah. Yeah. You. You. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. three, four words and get a thousand in return. I won't read him because it's fucking Inman. Blah, blah, blah. You should get him to LA for your podcast, but make sure he has a round-trip ticket. He was going off on Alex Jones the other day. So I was having some fun with that. He's interesting. Yeah, I just love it dude. And like it's really the show. I the show. I the show. I the show. I the show. I to. I to. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to the to to to th. I to to to to to to th. I to get. I to get to get a to get to get to get to get him. I to get to get to get to get. I. I to get. I to get. I to get. I. I. I to get. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm over. I'm over. I'm over. I'm over. I'm over. I'm over. I'm over. I'm over. I'm over. I'm over. I'm over. I'm over. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm over. I'm over. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I. I. I'm. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. the the the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm acies. I love questioning everything. It's free, you know, just have fun with it and then it just goes off

So do you think Kennedy's head got whacked by a frisbee disc tossed by a midget? Yes? Yes, that's a theory I know it's tra that we any kind of oh, this is really fucked up. Let's get on this Well my one of my favorite memories of Doug is you were doing Miyagi's in Hollywood you remember like the three-floor sushi bar it's now ping taco but used to be Miyagis which was a sushi. That's familiar it was owned by the people own Dublin's and Jay Davis Dublin's was killing they want him to do another night across street and this was right after 9-11 and you thus tho-in the the the the the the the the the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people own the people own their own their own their own their own the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people their their their their their their their their their their their their th th th th th th th th th tho. th th theeeeeeeee who are th tho. theeeeeeeee th the th the their their to do another night across street. And this was right after 9-11. And you were just doing this bit about kids going, Mommy, is that plane going to fly into a building? And you're like how everybody's emotionally fucking being weird about that and you had this great rift on it. I just watch Orny Adams who's from New York like, fuck man, not cool. I'm like dude

it's comedy. It's Adams, bent out of shape. Oh man, four. That stockbroker is still landing out there. The only better name would be Steve Ranazizi or whatever. Yeah. Ranazizie? Oh yeah, that was hilarious. I have to pretend to be upset about this I said a bad precedent that guy's good

Where is he's a great guy he did something incredibly stupid and he fucking he got out of it finally fesced up and that that that Beat him to I mean you do it the owner got I've done so much dumb shit. I got robbed by the same hooker twice in one day to buying drugs I can't judge anybody. Oh man, you know what I got is a great eraser. I went to my physician and I was just talking like I do and he goes have you ever been diagnosed bipolar? No, I have not and then we talked a little more. He diagnosed me bipolar. It's the best fucking eraser you can have in life I've done some shitty things I've fucking done a ton of shitty thing now I just look back and go well I had a problem and I was searching for the right mix that's great that's so great you blame everything on bipolar yeah by fucking yeah bipolar is fuck man I'm surprised I'm even sitting here without pancakes I love I've crippling social anxiety. Yeah, I love it.

I mean it was the best news I could have got. I thought I was maybe dying and I'm like, who I love it. He like pre-vetted you by like making sure you hadn't been diagnosed with what he was going to be the first one? Yeah. Yeah. Have you ever bought two left shoes in a one? Yeah. He spotted a heart arrhythmia just from one, listen. So I. to be the first one to tell somebody their tragic news or super good news, he want to be the first one. Is everyone told you your bipolar? Okay, guess what? You're bipolar? Where do I go? Do I get a trip some more? Do this? Do this door? Do, I love it. Do you go for a second opinion on that? Because I was, no, because I've done... You want that. I've done a lot of... No, I don't want to fucking... I know. I've done so much creepy shit that I can't even factor in. I can't discuss on podcast. I can't even weigh on a fucking scale. I've done that creepy shit. You want to, like, hey, dude, did you make th this 't stop myself if I wanted to because I am diseased.

That's what I think it is. It's like, fuck yeah, man. I was, I can't remember being happier in my life than when I was diagnosed and probably wrong. That's how I feel about social anxiety. I have crippling, crippling dude like I do a merch booth yeah what's that do you do a merch booth yes it's the fucking vein of my existence but it's the reason we can be out here because Chaley that's his product and without Chaley I don't, I can't do this.

Well, dude, all my features sell out of their shit because people want to show me that I'm not the boss. I swear to God, I go, you sell merch? I'll have features sell merch because they're not making any money these guys. So I'm like, sell some merch. I go, you got merch, I'm like, prepare to be sold out. Because I'll thi their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll tho. I'll to that. I'll, to sell, to sell, to sell, to sell, to sell, to sell, to sell, to sell, to sell, to sell, th. I'll, th. I'm, th. th. th. I'm, to sell, to sell, to sell, to me. to me. to me. to me. to me. I'm, to be. I'm, to be. I'm, to be. I'm, th. I'm, the. I'm, the. I'm, the. I'm theat. I'm theat. I'm toeat. I'm toeat. toeat. toeat. toeat. toeateateateathea I'll just yell racial slurs at people on stage and then to come out can I buy your thing that give me dirty looks they grab and they run off one one of the best things that in common is Boise Idaho this guy the feature sucked I hated his guts he did or he's a fucking hack or whatever but he he was selling his merch to my walk out to my would walk out of my show and he had his shit available

and as much of a cunt as he was he was like, you know, like, oh yeah, I didn't like that guy either or whatever. And then they would buy his shit, you know, his fucking ruh, ringtones or whatever. But they didn't buy it because they liked him, they bought it because the time. That's a winning marketing strategy. And it's always white, I do a joke about, before the show we pray the comedy gods to make white women laugh, because they just always want to talk to the manager. White women love talking to the manager.

And it's just true, they just come out and you tell when they're angry, they're just angry. You were I think, I thak, I thak, I thak, I think, I think, I think, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I thank, I thank, I thank, I thank, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, you, you, you, you, you, I, I, I the show, I the show, I the show, I the show, I the show, I the show, I the show, I the show, I the show, I the show, I the show, I the show, I the show, I the show, I the show, I th. th. th. th. th. thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I than, I than, I than, I than, I than, I than, that, that, that, was first, a woman leaned into a candle, her hair caught fire. It was Sacramento I think. This lady's hair caught fire, stunk up the whole fucking room. I had a beer in my hand and I thought, I'm not a hero because I didn't throw it, you know, but I thought that's what a hero would do is throw a beer on her head. She ran out to the bathroom and then at the end end the end the end the end the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, I the, I the, I thoe, I was thoe, I was thoe, I was thoometea, I was the, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I was, I was, I was, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm tho, tho, thrownea, tho, thrownea, thoooea, thoooooo'ea, thr-sea'ea, thr-sea, thrownea, thrown, is throw a beer on her head. She ran out to the bathroom, and then at the end of the show, after Doug was done or whatever, she was talking to the manager and I go, oh, I get it. You have your chick lean into a candle burner hair so you get free tickets.

And they were exactly getting free tickets for the show. Oh, my hair caught fire. going for it. Yeah. Bingo in Dallas, a bachelorette party that I made cry and walk in the middle of the show. Bingo walked out into the lobby when they were screaming for refunds and tried to sell the merch as a memento for their big occasion. That's awesome. Oh my god, would you like a CD? Yeah, do people see the show that they're gonna go see? Not not in those games? Ever just, let's just walk in this rock club and hopefully the bands could. I used to do that as a bit. It just makes no sense to me. Music is, you wouldn't go see music, you would find the type of music. No one sees the type of comedy. They they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they don't they they don't they don't they don't look. Do they don't look they don't look they don't look they don't look they don't look. Do they don't look they don't see they they they they they they they they they they they they they don't see they they don't see they they don't see. Do they don't see. Do they they don't see. Do they they they they they they they don't see. Do they they they they they they they they they they don't. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do they don't look. Do they they don't look. music, you would find the type of music. No one sees the type of comedy.

They don't look it up. You put that little effort into your Friday night when you sold out. Yeah, I work five days and on Friday night I go out. I'm on comedy and you want to see the guy that we fell asleep to on Letterman on Thursday. I actually think now that late night spots on television are hurting comedy. I think people watch those and don't think comedy's funny and don't want to go to shows. I can't imagine anyone actually watching network TV for any reason other than live sports. That's it. I totally agree. The only

reason that people come to my house for football where I live in this little hippie town no one has cable TV. They watch everything after the fact on YouTube because they're yeah on demand on demand or yeah you don't get HBO for a minute later. But I have live football so football fans will come to my house and that's the only reason why you would watch network TV when there's a billion other channels fucking any any like Jimmy Fallon for any reason why because your friends on it well you know what just tell me how it goes I don't want to watch Jimmy Fallon say a

word tell me what you said and like I have no problems with Phelan but I find it amazing that he gets such a fucking pass when Leno used to get murdered by everybody for being so super squeaky clean and like he's gone beyond where even fucking Leno was like it blows my mind but why does any this good shit on TV at that hour on cable why would you watch network TV I'm totally with you part part of it part of it part of it though is is that Kimmel does it and Fallon they actually are able to bring people in by uploading YouTube clips of the funniest two minutes of the night before and then

they'll have that they'll churn that out on a regular basis and I don't even know if it works but it ends up being something that someone will talk about because they saw the clip on YouTube that showed up on a Twitter feed somewhere and never even watched the show. NBC is the of all the networks I think they've mastered social media more because they love to use the outrage for promotion exactly like Saturday Night Live will do the most tame shit and then before you know it, 80 fake websites are like, were you offended by Leslie Jones bit about slavery and like every, and it's never like I'm pissed, it's like are you pissed?

And they just like they have 80 bots that would just put this out and it's all done to just do this fake train wreck version of promotion. What I did last night, I'm still trying to make that. No one's really offended. Someone says that people were outraged by whatever star said this. No one's actually outraged. They create the outrage and then they get other people to say, yeah, to make an opinion. How did you feel about that? You shouldn't say that ever.

Yeah. There's no outrage to begin with. It's who's pissed or yeah. Show me ten. If ten people are pissed, that doesn't mean everybody's pissed. It's everything's fake and that's why I was saying like to watch the news anymore. Who cares if the fucking president is? I'm 50 years old. I won't see 60. Yeah, so my material is about generally me. Yeah, it's great dude.

Yeah, you were- I love the way you write. You run out of material at 40. Yeah, you do. I remember when you talked about everything you ever wanted to talk about. I'm like, I was so right there. And like, the things we used to rage against, now your crowd lets you go a little, go much farther with it. I had my conspiracy theory. Ark. Yeah, no, I get there because at some point you realize who gives a shit, what are you going to do? Yeah, I realized everything's

bullshit and I had to rail about it and now I like who cares? I just love to just just shit in people's birthday cakes. That's more of why I do conspiracies than this notion that anything's gonna change. Right, it's like these people like I'm with her well you know her husband was on a th th th th th th th th th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi, what you, what you, what you, what you, what you you you you you you you you you you you you, what you you, what you, what you, what you, what you, what you, what you, what you, what you, what you, what you, what you, what you, what you, what th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi, what thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi they they they thi they thi thi they thiacies than this notion that anything's going to change. Right. Like these people, like I'm with her, well, you know her husband was on a flight to fuck kids on an island like 27 times. What? No, God's a pussy.

He fucked children. You know that, right? And it's just like, that's more of what I get off on, like, shattering the ferrater............. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that, that, that, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, to. th. to. th. th. th. th. that, that, th. th. th. that, th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th tale than actually like thinking I'm gonna change anything. One of my highlights of Twitter was Jodi Arias. I was like jumping in it's like oh and then I'm getting all these followers that are Jodi Aries, and then going yeah Jody yeah blah blah blah and then going well you know this is just another example of the church having somebody murdered to frame a woman and then boom and you get all these fucking 500 women go I thought you were this way or whatever like no and then go the other way and then I mean I was like it was the most fun probably ever had on the internet it was just yeah poke the bear

yeah yeah this is just this is how the church does it they murdered poor Travis in front of Jody we should all be supporting her. Why are you doing this? I just joined Twitter and you are the only person I've followed in you and CNN and now this. Oh, it's fucking awesome. I trust no one with a blue verified check. Yeah. That's my rule. Anybody talking politics? I don't trust them on fucking Twitter. Especially if they're liberals. If they're leftists and they're talking politics. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I thi thi thi thi th. I th. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to toy trust them on fucking Twitter, especially if they're liberals, if they're leftists and they're talking politics, I don't trust you. Unfollow, unfowl. Unfollow.

CNN has become the Fox News because of the beef between. Like Alyssa Milano, she's like, we got, we gotta get Trump out. It's like, you've been famous since since a moment fur spouted on your snatch You've never had a what is Alyssa Milano's hard fucking day You bet to me try and try to stick his dick in your 30 I mean like nobody gets a fuck man. You've never had a hard day You're just playing this game. I don't trust you that's it really does bother me when comics I respect are just so into I mean the all of us sitting here have real problems in our own lives you're fucking trying to clutch on the 60 days of sobriety fuckhead who

ruins everything Andy Andrus sat down after that girl muddled him a fucking cucumber fucking cocktail he smashed it he's just getting a bloody probation like the least of our troubles with the president and everyone's ignoring their own lives. When I dropped that drink and my finger was blading him like, God damn Trump, this is exactly what I was talking about why Trump's leadership doesn't work. You both have bandaids on, how did you, let's let's get to the bandades. That we explained that. Fuck-face shows off the plane, he comes here to the A-Lof, gets my first drink, then tries to pick up the broken glass, cuts his finger. It was my 9-11. Today was my 9-11. It was so

emotional. The day Michael Jackson died and I was just talking about how this was the black 9-11. And everybody was just, man, I was like, fuck him, dude. That kind, I like, that, that, that, the they, they, they, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, they, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. S, th. S, th. S, th. S, th. S, th. S, th. S, th. S, th. S, th. S, th. S, th. S, th. S, th. S, th. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. th. F. F. th. F. F. F. thi, f. thi. F. F. t. F. F. F. try. F. try. F. F. try. try, f. try. try, try. try. try. try. t how this was the black 9-11 and everybody was just, I was like, fuck him dude. That, I like, that, imagine being that doctor killing Michael Jackson. Yeah, well, what about the guy, the Walgreens pharmacist who couldn't open for Prince. Like, well, come on, man, he just needed a pill. Hang on, what, what, your bandaid. I cut myself reaching into my toiletries on my fucking super razor. It has three blades, they're all fucking samurai swords and they just took out a pound of flesh. That's how you bleed when you don't drink. Come on, this is a perfect segue. Yeah. Is that, is that who are promoting? Yeah, we already did that. Oh. Double down, dog. Dollar Shave Club. Hey, if you don't mind a little blood in your th. It th. It th. It th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's the th. It's the th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's the same. It's th. It's th. It's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It has has has has th. It has has has the the the th. It has has has has has has the the the the the the the th. It has has did that. Double down, dog!

Dollar Shave Club. Hey, if you don't mind a little blood in your blue apron. Light meal? Maybe we can send him some pro-flowers for his... Are you guys a blue apron too? Oh yeah. Do they say that's ruining restaurants? Nobody's going to restaurants, hey more.

These fuckin millennials, they just sit at home, play World of Warcraft, jerk off, they have squid porn, and they never leave their fucking- You know, and why is it bad? And why do we got to criticize the generation that figured it out? That's the generation that figured it out? That's what we should have been doing since the 50s. Hey, no one's stuck behind some fucking job the hut in a fucking cart at Walmart like just move move move beep oh I can get this delivered to me yeah everything yeah I'm down I'll order it wait I can you guys sold me I know I'm gonna go order it I'll send you three meals send me a yeah yeah I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm talking about Walmart. I'm talking about everything that can be delivered to your house. Why the fuck? Wait, I can get this without being I-raped by the fucking fat Americans that are out

in every corner? You get I-raped all the time, don't you? I- I-I-rape. I must be so- I- I- I- I- I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I, I'm th, I'm th. I'm th. I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I, I'm th, I, I'm th, I- I- I- I- I'm th. th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm ta-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-rapeist? Yeah. Yeah. You just hang out bushes and I rape pictures? I already raped that. Do you have a flower over there? Sam Tripoli. Do you have actual lenses in those fucking weird beastly glasses? Put them on. Why are you a good contact? So it's clear. Harry, Harry, clear. Wow, everything's pretty normal here. That's a style? You rocking it? 175? I don't even know dude. Cheater category. I was going around looking for aviators because I was wearing normal glasses on stage. You're not wearing those lip cool. Why not contact lenses? I don't trust myself. I'm so lazy I don't

want to clean anything. Let's get on the mic for this. This is compelling. I don't want to clean anything. So I was wearing the normal normal normal normal normal normal normal normal normal normal normal the normal the normal th. th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. I'm th. I'm the the th. I'm th. I'm the th. I'm the th. I'm the the the the the the the the th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I the. I the. I the. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. the. th. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. the. th. the. the. the. the. I'm't want to clean anything So I was wearing normal glasses like regular glasses. I felt I looked like Mark Marin and I didn't fit my act So I was going around looking for aviators because I want big ones and they were all like five years just for the frames So I just went online saw these for 20 bucks got them sent to me through some lenses in and bam here we are and you never looked back because they're the wrong the wrong the wrong the wrong the wrong the wrong the wrong the wrong the wrong the wrong the wrong the wrong the wrong the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th glasses?? the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th the the the the thea thea thea thea thea thea thea thea thea thea thea thea the glasses the glasses the glasses they glasses them sent to me through some lenses in and bam here we are and you never looked back never looked back because they're the wrong prescription you can't fucking see if you did yeah dude so I just wear him some people like them some people don't they give some of the creepier jokes I do get weird reactions because these Domer glasses creep people fucking out I think I think Jeffrey Dahmer took his glasses off before he did anything.

He did, yeah. I think, yeah, let me get a picture of you. He set him down on the coffee table. Let me give you a little backstory of Andy Andres. He goes, he's hung out in front of Dahmer's house, John Bona's house. He's masturbated in ghost towns. I'm a lazy psychic. I like that. I show up after it's been solved and just toss one off. If she hadn't been murdered by her

brother, she'd be hot right now. He's suing CBS now right? Who? Oh Burke? Yeah, her brother. Oh yeah. Well he probably shouldn't have lopped her on the head with that big, heavy flashlight. That's the main thing. You solved it? Well, the head with that big heavy flashlight. That's the main thing. You solved it. Well, the pineapple, come on. She's eating the pineapple, it's his favorite snack, big flashlight. And I feel bad for the family member that got that big flashlight for Patsy. Patsy could always use a big flashlight and then Burke lops John Bane in the nogging, and nothing's ever the same since but the house is lovely. Have you been by the house? I have been by

several times it's right there in Boulder. My daughter goes to school out there and I had a pot pipe and I didn't want to stash it by the college kids because you know how a responsible they are. He's masturbated on Mrs. Lincoln's grave. Oh Mary, Todd. You beat off on Lincoln's grave. Not Mary Todd, no. Mary the daughter. What is it just like American history excite you? I try to get involved, try to help out the community. I respect that. I respect that. No, first and foremost. Now you know know, it's like, bum, bobobobo, you're in a cemetery, you gotta find some shade. I agree. And Mary, it wasn't Mary Todd, it was Mary something, but it was a nice shade.

He's not kidding. So hold on shade gets you horny? No, no, I was already horny from the drugs. Okay, but here's I, okay, we're on a shared podcast, but wait, hold on a second. There's a, you do the nature jack, we've talked about that. Yes, there's a no, but I need to clarify. No, well, what? Theat? Thea different things. The cemetery jack was a medical emergency. Okay. That was a life-saving situation. Yeah, like a fatal boner or something? I mean I could have been the next day Lincoln if I hadn't choked all the poison out or whatever. I respect that. But nature jacking is kind of like a Zen thing. It's like... Is there webs? Does anyone own that domain by the way? Nature jacking? I'm not good at anything. Yeah I was going to do t-shirts but I gottha th. Does th. Does the the the the the th. Does the the to to the to to th. Does the th. Does to th. Does th. Does the thi thi thi thi thi. Does thi thi thi. Does thi thi thi. Does thi. Does thi. Does thi. Does thi. Does th. Does th. Does th. Does th. Does th. Does th. Does th. Does th. Does th. Does th. Does th. Does th. Does th. Does th. Does th. Does th. Does th. Does th. Does th. Does th. Does th. Does th. Does th. Does thi. Does thi. Does thi. Does thi. Does thi. Does thi. Does thi. thi. thi. the the thi. the the teeeeateateeateateat. the thi. the thi. thi. thi. thi. I thi. I th no, I'm gonna buy it. Andy does not. Yeah, I was gonna do t-shirts, but I got an happy after.

Just one of your guys jerking off. What is it? Okay, so but people have misconstrued that. Nature jacking is not. I'm gonna go out and chuck one off on the fucking national trail and take a picture and send it to Andy Anders. That's not the nature jack that's that's that's not what nature jacking is a way of leaving every fucking negative image you have behind and going to a higher plane and chucking one

off. It's not about, oh I'm just chucking one off because maybe a tourist will see it. It's about getting beyond that. This is a chapter in the Tibetan Book of the Dead, right? Well, yeah, I mean, right? Wack off your sins away? Yeah, I think. I respect th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thu their thi thi thi thi thi thi th. thi thi th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. teeeeeeeeeateeeeeeatuui. teeeeeeauiuiaui. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi whack off your sins away? Yeah, I think I respect that. Yeah, well it's not even sins it's like you know because if you like like now I can't come unless there's a glacier melting or something but when it started I was just like trying to get past photography trying to get past oh I need to do this to come or whatever trying to get past everything I and then it's like well I'm the the the the the the the th. I I I I I I I I I'm th. th. th. th. th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm there's thi. I'm there's there's th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm to get to get to get to get to get th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. there's th. there's not. there's not. there's not there's not the. the. the. there's not. the. there's not. the. there. the. the. the. the. the. the. I the. I the. whatever trying to get past everything I learned and then it's like well I'm on a glacier this is beautiful the sun shining and and oh hey there's nature and then bam that's all you need you don't need women you don't need stories you don't need the ladies telling you things you just need

mother nature you just need a cool wind maybe a little bit of sunlight or maybe it's just dusk or whatever you know. All right. Sounds like you're gonna beat off anyone. No, no but if I don't know I can't in Syracuse where he can to drive me in Syracuse? You might want to put a couple holes and ones over there. Yeah that's that's what a regular Jack would do. All right we're gonna wrap this. Let's wrap it in a sock and put it away. If you enjoyed the background music, that's a shitty aloft music. The bartender does not have access to a volume knob. Somebody made this music. And we're like they were working on the notes and they were just like no what about this? The band wanted people to listen to them and then the lead singer is like no

How can we get people and not listen to us? That's what I want we're looking for elevators guys. Yeah. I'm hammered. Yeah, we'll get to uh. Andy Andres and his fucking. He just got on the tour. I just just, I the they. I the they. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. Yeah. I th. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah......... Yeah............. Yeah........ Yeah........ Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the he just got on the tour he just he just yeah I just just got how many dates you guys doing together just seven more gigs we have six scheduled but we're willing to do less they're terrible gigs because I have

to go back to where I'm from and I I don't I don't want to talk to a lot of those people. This is a problem have you had this problem where you have to be public to sell your gigs? Yes But this people you go oh can I not let them know four people will be able to see I don't want to they come to your show because it's a social event. No, this is my fucking job. I don't want to hang out with you. Yeah. The ideal tour would be like a witness relocation situation where you're like, oh, this is not Duxhenhoek, it's Steve Hennings. And then Steve just goes out. People up burking don't come sit with you after you bought your Wapper and be like, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, th, because, because, it, it, it, it, because it, it, because it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's, because it's, because it's, because it's, because it's, because it's, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, th, it, it, th, th, it, th, th, th, th, thi, it, thi, it's a thi, it's a thi, it's a thi, thi, it's a thi's a thi's a thi's a thi's a thi's a thi, it's a thi, it's a thi, it's Steve Hennings and then Steve just goes out. When you... People are Birking don't come sit with you after you bought your Wopper and be like, you know, you know,

mean, green. Oh, you get a job at Burger King, I'm going to come hang out with you. No, it's my job. When you're coming back to our Burger King, yeah. It's not a hangout situation. I know for you, it seems like I am, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, you, you, I, I, I'm, you, I'm the the.e.e.e. theananananan, you, you, you know, I'm thi. thi. seems like I am oh I'm just coming to town I can hear you and then I see you and then maybe do a little stage do they do they do they because they all expect you to put like Bert Kreischer I'm sure has to deal with like people just want to get to get boozed with them like I for the long time because they did naughty show everyone's like let's go to a strip bar hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey they they they they they the they they they they they the they they they they their they they they their they they they they they their they their they they they they they they they they they they to to to to to to their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to the long time because they did naughty show everyone's like let's go to a strip bar hey I'm gonna bring this slot to the show and see if you can get

her do weird shit like I'd always get that yeah wasn't that with a tell it's worse and worse yeah tell how to stop doing that show the insomnia because it just got too crazy oh my god yeah he quit drinking his his fucking job yeah I've been there dude. I might have been that Vegas night that we were there when Hedberg was in Vegas. So yeah, I have to go back to where I used to live one time and... Well, my mom brought everyone should do to my shows. You know, for a whole week. It's fucking rough. They're on nice people, but you know, it's like, I'm a scumback. But it's also a job. Yeah.

My mom's not pretty friends. Hey, come to Kinko, see Sammy. If you were a dishwasher at TGI Fridays, that traveled. Right. Yeah. You're gonna be in our neck of the woods. Yeah. Yeah.

Waiting for you after the show. Just fuck up. No, I don't do that anymore. Hey, Doug, we really enjoyed your dishwashing a couple of weeks ago, but we came out and saw it recently and it was, were you, it just didn't seem like you put much effort into the dishwashing tonight. No, they don't, they don't. They don't care about your dish. Tash wash the dish wash their thashash. th. th. They's. They's. th. They's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. that that. thi. thi. thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I. I. I. I. I. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha. tha. the. tha. to. tha. to. to to to t t toge. t t toge. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. the point. They don't care about the dishwash. They just want to be there. They're gonna watch you dishwash for an hour that they don't even care about hoping you hang around for eight hours. Yeah, to meet with you. And now you're like, you're with chicks. You don't really care anymore. Okay. Well, now you are with chicks. Do you have a chick? Yeah, I have a girlfriend 13 years. thrown. I love it to death. th. th. th. their could just grab my fucking passport and just fake my own death and disappear. That's marriage. You're not even married. You have the same fantasies I do. Do you travel with your passport? Uh, no, I wish I had. Do you have a go bag? You do? Case you just got to go? I respect the fuck. You got to go bag? Sometimes you have to just fuck it. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to go. to go. the the to go. the to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. Do. Do. Do? Do? Do? Do? Do? Do? Do? Do. Do. Do? Do? Do? Do? Do. to. to. to. Do? Do? Do. Do? Do. Do. Do? Do. Do? Do. Do. Do? Do. Do. Do? Do. Do? Do. Do? Do. Do? Do. Do. Do? Do. Do. Do? Do? Do. Do? Do. Do? Do. Do? Do. Do? Do? Do. Do. Do? Do? Do. Do. Do. Do? Do. Do. Do? Do. Do. Do? Do. Do. Do? Do? Do. Do? Do. Do. Do? Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the fuck. You gotta go back? Ditch bag. Sometimes you have to just... fuck it. I'm dead at the end and those days are closer and closer.

Travel with your passport because, you know what, at the end of this tour, I get a flight to Tucson, but maybe I go to, uh, Tahiti, Guam. I saw you wash dishes in Guam, dude. You were so good. You were so good. You were so good. You were the fucking shit? I brought my whole family to see your Guam dishwashing show. Man, I love your shows, dude. I spent six months of Guam.

I love Guam. I love Alaska. thinks. Has he been in a little Alaska he'd book twice up there They haven't booked me since Well, I'm not the love like cool It's not off the air to not pop off It's not great you need you brought me other comics too, which is which is Which I always was so hot there was this little blonde girl and she was such an alcoholic? She would literally sit on people's thanks. Oh, the the thanks. I? the their? their? their? their? their? I? I? I? I? I? they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. I was they. I was they. I was the look look look. I was look. I was the love. I was the love. I was the love. I was the like. I was the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. I was they. I was they. I was. I was. I was. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. the they's. they's love. the they. they. I was. the the the they's love. I was. I was. I was the the the the the the for a shot. It was like five guys a row. They would just lay down, she would sit on their face, get up next guy.

I was like, I love Alaska. What was a problem? No, I'm singing the fucking praises. Alaska likes guns, coke, and fucking, I'm all in. And they got moose. Oh, you didn't get deep. So I was talking about, you know, the political, the political, the political, the political, the political, the political, the political, the political, the political, the political, the political, the political, the political, the political, the political, the political, the deep. I was talking about you know the political process of fucking the deep state and I lost them. I had a great time Doug. I love you very much man. I'm so thankful. I'm glad you had me on your podcast.

I'm glad you had me on your podcast. I'm just sitting in an adjacent chair that I could do both of them. Yeah, congratulations on Dublin down. Double win. I love watching you perform Doug, you're one of my favorite comics, so the fact that we're friends is really cool and the friends appreciate it. We're a legacy, we're, uh, I feel like I creep you out sometimes. I'm cool with that. I'm like a creeped out out. No, you've never creep me out. Okay, cool. You've never creeped me out. Okay, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. the th. the th. the the th. the the the the thi. the fact. the fact, the fact, the fact, the fact, the fact, the fact, the fact, the fact, the fact, the fact. the fact. the fact. the fact. the fact. the fact. the fact. the fact. the fact. the fact. the fact. the fact. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. the. the. the. th. th. the. the. the. the. the fact, the fact, the fact. the fact. the fact. the fact. the fact. that's how it is. You're starting to creep me out. That's cool. I get creeped out easy. All right, next time we'll have Shuley on for the three Vegas comics. Oh, that'd be good. That would be great dude.

There's some great young comics out there. It's a good they have it easy. Yeah, but the end. All right. Thanks Doug. Sam you got any dates coming up? I'm going to be at the end of July, July 26th I'm in Toronto with Brian Redband and Dean Delray and they have a couple little things here and there. Oh that's right. They oh they hit you okay and then we also have a, I'm also gonna, I have a couple dates in August, but I can't remember them. So where do they go to get information on you?

Go to Sam Tripoli.com or just social media, at Sam Tripoli, across everything. And check out my YouTube page. I put up shit all the time. I do, I put videos of me just rip in the crowd for an hour. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get. to get. to get. to get. to get. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the they they they they they they they they they to get that. It's YouTube.com backslash Sam Tripoli. All right and that's the Tinfoil Pot. Timfoil Hat with Sam Triply and Punch Strung Sports me, Arsphere, Jason Tibo. You read it. All right, get on the main list at Doug Stanhope.com and some of the dates are sold out.

All the New England dates. New England dates are sold out. If you're anyone that I'm ignoringing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. thi. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. th. thi. th. thi. th. th. dates new England dates are sold out anyone that I'm ignoring yeah fuck off or or call me and I'll ignore you and fuck off I love it but get on the mailing list and then we got another tour coming up in August so yeah yeah get on the get on the mailing list it's the only way you're going to find out because I don't I I'm happy to die the today the to the I'm the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to the to to the to to the the the the the to to to the the the the the the the the the the to the to to to to the the to to to to to to to to the to to the the to to the to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the the to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to to to the to to the to to to the to the tou. I tou. I tou. I tou. I tou. I tou. I to. I tou. I to. I tou. I to to to to to the to the the the to the get on the mailing list. It's the only way you're gonna find out because I don't I'm happy to Die in a fucking I got I got out of this tour Last week or so see who knows in August who knows check back? Get back

Good night. Thank you, ma'am. Let's play Bird Cloud. Little boy blue, full of mound thew, put your pride upon my shelf. Oh, King Coast, if your needle in my hay hole, I'll be coming like a fountain when I come. Dipping on in the water, because it's water, you sucking, that's what I'm talking about. Until then I stick my whole hand in and I shake it all about. It'll make your hair curly, put hair on your chest. My daddy said it makes you go blind. But I feel myself for I am the best till I become sensitized. Hey, diddle, little, ding-dong, ain't llama.

I'm gonna fiddle with myself. Little boy blue, full of mountain dew, put your pride upon my shelf. Old King calls, stick your needle in my hay hole. I'll be coming like a fountain when I come. Dipping on in the water, because it's water you like water, and the water will turn you on. Rub a dub, dub, dub, upon a 12-inch sub you. That's what I'm talking about.

Until then I stick my whole hand in, put a hair on your chest. My daddy said it makes you go blind. But I feel it with myself, but I am the best still. I've become sensitized. And I've become the sensitized. And the water will turn you on. And the water will turn you on. Hidden tracks. I like that.

So I was at the comedy, so we're hanging out. There's a gorgeous, the ca, the c. And somehow, the c. And somehow, the conversation, the conversation, the conversation, the conversation, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thiol. thiol. thi, thi. thiol-a, th. th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, I, I, th. And, I, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thin, thin, thin, thin, th. It's, thin, thin. It's, thin. It's, thin. It's, thin. It's, thin. It's, thin. And, that. So I was at the comedy store where we're hanging out and there's this gorgeous little brunette there and somehow the conversation got going on about peeing on people if people were into it or now. She's like I's always I've always wanted to pee on somebody. I'm like well I bet you wouldn't pee on me she goes I bet you will and we just start betting and all the sudden it becomes like deer hunter where everyone's like banana bar just thong down fucking my mom get them out there's fucking money it gets up to like three hundred dollars oh man so this chicks like let's go to back we go to the back and you know where you were talking earlier about how there was a shower there I

take my shirt off I lay down there there there's like 15 dudes in watching this fucking thing so so so the the there there there there there there there there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's their their their th I's thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi this fucking thing. So she's sitting on top me I see her muff she got like toilet paper in her snatch I remember that and she's like there she's dangled berry way back to a little toy piece of paper right on her stand I don't give a shit to coming out I'm a savage I'd fucking lick that right off you know I'm saying to say they were like okay pee the the the. So we said they're a. they were like okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p- she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like p- s she's like p- s she's like p- s she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she she's like she she's like p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p. the the the th the th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thee. the. the. the. the. the. thee. thee. they. She goes, man, I really wanted to pee on you. I go, well, let's go back to my place. It's only a mile away. He goes, okay, she jumps from the car. We drive off. We get in my bathroom. I take, I take all my clothes off. I get there. She gets on on top me and she fucking, thi. th. And she th. And she, and she's, th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, I tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, to to go, I to go, I to go, I to go, I to go, I to go, I to go, I to go, I to go, I to go, I to go, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho. I tho, thooo. I thooo. I thooooo. I thooooo. I tho. I to tho, I was great. I'm like wow this is not that bad it's actually like a warm fucking shower. So I get up and she goes start putting on her clothes I go what are you doing? She goes what? I go in the bedroom she's like we're having sex I'm like yeah I'm not a porta potty you don't just pee

on me and fucking go so we go in the back and I fucking to slam it right so then the whole time I'm like like I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I've the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th the the th th th th th th is th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is I th is I th is I th is I th is I th is I th is I th is I've th th th is I've th th th th the is the is the is to go to go to go I to go to go to to to to go to go I to go I to go I to go I the the the the the the ththen the whole time I'm like you look like Miley Cyrus is anyone never told you look exactly like Miley Cyrus no yeah I've heard her in there blah blah let's just I say oh and it was mylee Cyrus and we cut the podcast we know that on ours it was her stunt double she ended up being her stunt double if you watch this AMA American Music Awards there's a scene where my the my my lily sires is dancing the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the same same same same same same guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys their their their their their their their their their their they. they. they. they. they. they. they. their the AMA, American Music Awards, there's a scene where the Miley Cyrus is dancing on stage, everyone's going crazy and this girl dances down the thing and in the seat is Miley Cyrus. She gets up and takes over. That girl that was dancing was the one who pissed all over me.

The switch. How much stunt double in does the hand of Montana? Well, you love testing a lot of bucks. Right place right time dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All the good shit. Well, I don't believe in heroes but I'm gonna pass out. You are sir, my hero.

I love it dude. I've never gotten a girl pee on me since. Sadness. I can't get him to stop. Every time I sit still. Dude you're funny man.