Tin Foil Hat With Sam Tripoli - Twisted Ep 15: Armo on Armo Crime

Episode Date: August 7, 2016

Welcome to another episode of Twisted With Sam Tripoli. I've decided to start ranting again so here you go. On this episode of Twisted, I discuss Vegas, being Armenian and trying to by a car from Armenians and HBO's "The Night Of!" This is my first time in a while I did an all rant show again so bare with as I get my brings bearing back! Honestly let me know what you think either way. Thanks for listening!

What's up everybody, how are you? While I take tot, such a marijuana smoke, throw you in the choke, gun smoke, Mickey toll for mayors, the rack slayer, the hookah layer, motherfucker say a prayer, Hail Mary full of trade. Snatch the bitch, in the fence, the Gucci bag. What's up everybody, how are you? Welcome to another episode of Twisted. I've discovered this app, right? Called D-A-T-P-I-F-F-D-I-F dot.com.

And it's basically where you can get all the remixes and mashups of your favorite songs. And that song obviously was Biggie Smalls and Jimmy Hendrix. It's called the Biggie Hendrix experience experience. So enjoy it. What's up everybody? Welcome to another episode of Twisted. Happy to be here back in Las Vegas. This is like the third time I'm trying this episode.

So you know, never give up. Believe in your hotel room. My good friend Diaz Mackey's crashing over there. He's nice enough come out and do the show. Check out his stuff. He's always working hard. He's hilarious. Yeah, at Diaz Mackey, like a grown-ass man, okay? I'm sitting here in the room, watching television. There's so much sports on right now. There's the Olympics. There is the

Hall of Fame introduction to the NFL. There is the UFC. There's baseball. It's it's crazy. What do you watch? I don't mean I can't watch any of it. I'm trying to find the UFC fights. It's crazy crazy. So I'm in Vegas, having a great time, we're doing an eye show. As you know, we do it every Friday and Saturday night at the Sin City Theater. It's been going well. We had a fun show last night. Every show's are always growing every week and hopefully they'll only get better. You know, it was definitely a weird crowd.

I'll be honest with you. We've had a, we've done seven shows five of them will be the most amazing shows we've ever had and two of them were definitely interesting shows I'm gonna be honest with you just sometimes people come to comedy shows and they don't want to laugh it's like what the fuck are you talking about it's so interesting I do not understand people go to comedy shows and don't want to laugh that's like the a strip bar, ask for a lap dance, and just playing defense the whole time. What are we doing? It's ridiculous. It's come on, I'm up here, I'm slinging quality comedy dick up here.

I'm slinging it. People loving it. And then just, some people just staring at me. And the woman who liked me the most was just like this really big chick who's wearing a bright orange moomo and she she was cool she was liking me but I couldn't make fun for her because she was like one of the few people actually loving the show last night. I do not get it. I do not get it but tonight's another night super excited. 11 p.m. Plant Hollywood in the Sin City Theater. It's gonna be a lot of fun. It's definitely

always interesting. I'll tell you that. Vegas is great. I love everything about Vegas. I love the people. I just love the, I just love the desert. Vegas is great. It's a hot, they call it dry heat. I call it fire. It's like like, I, I, I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the 11 11 11 11 11 11 11 11 11 11 11 16, I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. the. the the. the they call it dry heat I call fire. It's like a hundred and sixteen out I can handle it because I got air conditioning what did like settlers do How did the horses not all die? Going out here? Like it's a hundred and sixteen What is going on? I saw cars dying, brand new cars dying on the road, a path road from LA to Vegas and cars were dying. Last week there were 20 of them. 20 cars on the side of the road. Next, the

week before that, two car, two Mack trucks sat on fire. It's like Mad Max and Terdum. It's so weird, man, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like on fire I'm fine it's like mad Max and tear dump it's so weird man it's like people just dying on the side of the road it's almost like when you watch an industrial geographic and the water buffalo try to get through the water and there's always an alligator tiger just attacks and that's like driving from LA to Vegas it's like what are we doing this so we get out here and I love the the the the the the the the the the the to the the the the the the the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to the the the the toy. I toy. I tiger tiger tiger tiger tiger tiger tiger tiger tiger tiger tiger tiger the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the toy. I the toy. I toy. I toy. I toy. I toy. I toy. I toy. I ty. I ty. I ty. I ty. I te. I te. I ty. I ty. I ty. I te. I te. I to Vegas. It's like, what are we doing? Why are we doing this? So we get out here and I love Vegas. I love, I love a planet Hollywood.

It's a really nice hotel. They put me in a great room. It's really nice. I finally got a good view. It's a lot of fun. You know, Jeffer Lopez or Britney Spears here, so there's always hot. these hot chicks walking around with no clothes on. Drunk as fuck. Drunk as fuck. It was so funny dude. Yesterday I get here I'm going to my room and there's a girl who is just pure shit-faced, just pure shit-faced. Like you ever see

something so drunk they're cross-eyed. Just straight cross-side. And everywhere I'm going to the elevators and there's like three elevators on each side of the hallway and No matter where I move this woman follows me So I'm again, I'm like what is going on here? So I go to walk away and she's like I'm just following you? Just shit face. I'm like where are you trying to go? It's like I'm trying to find a lobby? My friend is passed out drunk and she can't get her keys in their? She in their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. their their their their their their teease. tease. tease. try. try. try. try. try. te. try. te. try. try. their their their their their their like I'm trying to find a lobby my friend is passed out drunk and she can't get her keys in the room. I'm like oh my god. Oh my god. You can't handle your liquor lady. You shouldn't get that fucking drunk anywhere except for home. Like home you can get blackout drunk because you're gonna wake up at home.

You don't know where you're gonna wake up when you're blackout drunk in the middle of fucking nowhere. So I'm like okay where you try and go she goes to the lobby and I just start watching like I'm gonna follow you I'm like okay so he follows me and you know I mean she's shit-faced and I am proud to announce that I did not rape her. Yes, look at me. Who's a gentleman? Huh? I took this nice drunk chick, got her to the lobby, left her there for somebody else to rape. Who's a nice guy? This guy, right here. Taking care of ladies. She's probably dead by now.

She's probably dead, but you know what, she didn't die on my watch. Because I'm a fucking hero. I'm a ladies man. I'm pro-women. That girl was drunk. She could have gotten weird. Did it? No, because I believe no means no. And ugh, I'm wasted, means no, so that's fun.

I do like Vegas. One thing about Vegas has changed since I went to school out here is the proliferation of hookers. They're everywhere. And they you can always I can always tell when they're hookers because they're looking at me. They're always when they look at you. You never see a girl looks at you hard. It's like not natural. It's like, they look like horny volopter-ass raptors. Just like little horny dinosaurs looking to eat your soul. They're everywhere. It's unbelievable.

I think for every three regular women, there's a hooker out here. It's unbelievable. They're everywhere. So it's been fun, man. I've, I've enjoyed it out here. I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've thi, I've, I've thi, I've thi, I've just like, I've just like, I've just just just, I've just, I've just, I've just, I've just, I've just, I've just just just just just just just just just just just. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've three regular women, there's a hooker out here. It's unbelievable. They're everywhere. So it's been fun, man. I've enjoyed it out here. It's been fun doing this. Hopefully, we can keep it rolling. We shall see what I want to tell you about my life.

Okay, yeah, a couple of good things going on, the Punch Struunk sports podcast channels, slowly moving forward. We just had an E and bag. Very excited that to a stable of great comics, so I'm working really hard on that. What else is going on? Just a lot of great stuff, dude. A lot of great stuff. That's stuff going on in Hollywood. I'm very excited about, but there's something I found out that I didn't really know about,

and that's lawyer hell. Like when you pitch a project in Vegas, I mean in LA, you go you work for about a month on this treatment of a TV show. You come out the side of it, you work on a month, two months, just holding it out. You and you and whoever you're working with, you you punch it up, you you punch it up, you punch it up, you have your friends look at they give you advice, you bang it out, it's, you work your ass off, you have to pay somebody to a couple, anywhere from a couple hundred bucks to a thousand bucks to make you a sizzle reel to show what you're trying to do, right? And then you present it, and then when you present it, you pitch a show. a the show, and you, and to, you, you, you, you, you, you, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, to, to, to, to, to, to pitch a to, to pitch a the to, to pa, to pa, to pa, their, their, their, their, you, their, you, you, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. th. toe, toe, toeck, toe, toe, toe., toe., toe.s.s, toe.s, toe, toe, their, their, their, a show, it's amazing. Anything even gets on TV.

It really is amazing that anything even gets on television. You know? I, uh, it's, because, when you go to pitch somebody, you don't actually know who you're pitching to most time. You may hear them, your manager who set it up, they know who you're pitching to pitch somebody you don't actually know who you're pitching to most time. You might hear them, your manager who set it up, they know who you're pitching to, but when you, but for the most part, you don't know who they are. And you don't know what kind of day they're having. You don't know if maybe they're having their boyfriend or their girlfriend just cheated on them or they're hungover or they're just in having a miserable a miserable a miserable a miserable a miserable a miserable a miserable a miserable a miserable a miserable a miserable a miserable a miserable a miserable a miserable a miserable their girlfriend just cheated on them or they're hungover or they're just

in having a miserable day and you're pitching a show and like you just don't know you've worked two months on this thing and you go to pitch this person and they're just having a horrible day and they want to hear you and all that word goes p-pprrh! It's terrible it's it's it's amazing anything even gets on television. It's amazing. I have something that Comedy Central right now that I'm excited about. I have a couple of the projects that are slowly moving forward but once you sell let's say you get you get through everything you get you pitch it to your manager he likes it. He sets up a couple means you get this meeting you pitch you pitch to them. They might not you they might tell you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you to pitch to pitch you to pitch you to pitch you to pitch to pitch to pitch to pitch to pitch to pitch to pitch to pitch it to to to to to to their their their their to their their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their.to them, they like it. Okay, and they may get you right there or they might not even, they might tell you, you might not hear for a month whether they like it. They like it, okay? So now what's

the next thing you do? Now your lawyer has to talk to their lawyer, and this is what we call lawyer hell. It is literally, you could be a lawyer, the lawyer, the lawyer, the the the the the the the the the their, their, thrarau, you're stuck, you're stuck, you're stuck, you're stuck, their, thi, you're stuck, thi, thi, thi, you're stuck, thi, you're thi, you're stuck, you're thi, you're thi, you're their, you're their, you're their, you're, you're, you're, you're thi, you're, you're, you're, you're, you, you, you, you, you, you, you're, you're their, you're, you're, you're their, you're their, you're their, you're their, you're their, you're their, their, their, their, their, their, th. thr, thr, thr, thr, thr, t. tot, ttot, tttote, tot, ttttote, th. thr, you're thr, you're thr, I have two projects right now I'm not lying to you when I tell you I've been in lawyer hell with them one project's been four months the other project's been over six months of lower health lower hell just everybody just you know it's nobody's just you know it's nobody's fault it's just like you got to work the details but nobody's nobody's nobody's nobody's in a hurry to get it done because Because I have my entertainment lawyer and he's excellent. You know, he's a great guy, he's doing a great job. He's got a bunch of clients.

He's got a whole, you know, who knows how many clients, 20, 30, 40 client, he has to represent. And then the lawyer that he's negotiating with, they have whatever network, the Ha Ha Ha Network, right? And the Ha Ha Ha'a Network is always trying to develop new shows. So that lawyer is dealing with tons of projects over there. So they got a fine time to coordinate your project with their project around all their other projects. So it could take like anywhere from six months to a year. I talked to a guy who just just the the th, th, th, th, th, th, that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's tho, is tho, is thi, is thi, is tho, is tho, is tho, is tho, is tho, is tho, is tho, is tho, is tho, is tho, is is the their, is is is is their, is is is the thi, is is is thi, is th. thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is the thi, is the thi, is the thi, is thi, is the thi, is thoo thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. the, is like anywhere from six months to a year. I talked to a guy who just got a show on Comedy Central. He said from the moment they green light it to the moment he actually got

the moment they were interested in the project to the moment they were told they were going to shoot a pilot was a year. How crazy is that? But it's just part of the gig man that's crazy time crazy time so that's going good got a lot of stuff going on I got the naughty show it's moving forward super stoked about that want to talk to you about this thing I just went through I just I got a new car at leased a new car I've never leased before I've always been an owner. I like Mitsubishi's. I drive Mitsubishi's.

They treat me Betty, Betty well. I've been driving them for about 10 years now. I was given, my girlfriend had a car. She got a new car, she gave me her old car. So I got to drive this really nice Mitsbishi. It it, it, it, it, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, so I got to drive this really nice Mitsubishi. It was a black Midsibishi Montero. It was a big old car. It was a big ass car. It was fun to drive. And I was driving that for a while, and then Dana, my girlfriend got a black Cadillac, and I ended up crashing that. And and I ended up crashing that and then I ended up crashing the Montero too. The Montero wasn't my fault but the Cadillac was definitely my fault. Okay so I got crashed too because I feel awful about this. I've always felt

awful about this. I've always felt off from a man I feel really. So I, I've always wanted to get her a car back. I always wanted to make this amends to her, get her a car back. So basically two weeks ago, or a week and a half go, we're about to come to Vegas. I have a, not, I have a outlander I bought four years ago, and I go to use the electric lock key and it won't open. So I can't do that. So now I have to physically open the car, which I don't mind except for the fact on the Montero, I mean on the Outlander, you can't lock the back door. They basically the trunk of this car without the electric key. So my trunk is always unlocked.

And I don't want to go to Vegas when my car unlocked, people can get in that shit. So I, so I, I have to go to Mon, we have to drive the Vegas, I have to stop at Mitsubishi Glendale to get my car fixed, right? They get the key reprogrammed so it will lock my back door. So I pull in, they say they're going to take a look at it, man. As we're there, I'm like, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, th. the key reprogram so it will lock my back door. So I pull in, they say they're going to take a look at it, man. As we're there, I'm like, I wonder how much to lease a new car would be and maybe I could get Dana new car because I actually have decent credit now. I've been paying $500 a month for that on that outlander. Plus these credit they've been paying off. I actually got my credit, their their their their their their their, I their, I, I, I, I their, I, I their, I their, I got their, I got their, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I'm going going, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I've they they they they they're going, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going, I they're, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thereea, toea, toea, toea, toea, toea, toea, toea, they're going, they're going. they're going. they're going. have been paying off, I actually got my credit to be pretty fucking good. So they tell me like, yeah, I got great credit.

I could, they could actually make a deal with me. So I'm like, okay, cool. So as I'm telling him that, these, this guy who's working on my car comes back and it tells me it's going to be $120 to program my key.......... I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, th, thi, thi, thi, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, they're they can't they could they could they could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could, the the the the the the the the the tho, tho, I, I, I, I, I, I, I could, I could, I, I could, I, I, I could, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, the okay fuck it program the key so it goes away comes back another five minutes we can't program you because everybody there is Armenian we can't program your keys bro they would you got bad battery I'm like what he's like your battery is bad it won't let us program your keys. I go, so what does that mean? He goes, you have to get the new battery.

I'm like, how much is the battery? $199. I'm like, what? Yeah, bro, I got to, you got to get the battery to program keys. So they wanted to charge me $1.99 for the battery. And then they wanted to charge me another 120, the programmed to program to program the program to program to program to program to program to program to program the to program to program the to be to be the the th, to be to be thineineineineineineineineinedemea thineinement, thinea thee. themememememememnee. the the thia thirty the the the the theymea theytermaryary the battery. the battery. the battery. the battery. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. thea. threatea. together. together. together. together. together. together. together. together. threatea. threatea. threatea. threatea. th wanted to charge me another 120 the programmed key so I'm looking at a 330 minimum no tax that labor anything 320 just to be able to lock the back of my car so data and I like they tell me I can get a really good deal

I like a really good deal on two cars of the new outlander and I forget what was the other car but it's a really good deal I'm a really good deal on two cars. The new outlander and I forget what was the other car, but it's a really small Mitsubishi. And I'm like, okay let's do it. So we talked to them, they run the credit and they're basically like, yeah, dude, we can get you into these cars for less than 600 bucks. I'm like, holy shit, let's fucking do it. my one payment on my one car is 500. Why not? So we go listen we're running the Vegas because we can't buy the cars right now we're running the Vegas we'll be back on Sunday. Dan's like we're gonna call these guys on Sunday have the deal set up so we can just walk inside the

papers and go. I'm like okay good so we're about to leave. The guy who wants to basically give me new battery comes I. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, the to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th, th, tho, thi, tho, tho, th, tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th th th th is th is th is thi, thi, thi, thi, thi tho tho thooooe thooooe thooooooe thooooe thoo tho tho tho, tho, th leave. I'm the guy who wants to basically give me new battery comes. I go, listen, I don't need the battery now. We're just going to turn our cars and he's like, okay, that's cool. So it gives me the keys. We jump in the car. We drive all the way to Vegas. In Las Vegas, we drive through the heat is 116 degrees. Cars are dying on the side of the street. There is literally like there is there's

trucks pull. It's like, hey, I've never seen. The over and under is literally 20 cars on the side of the road. And I'm going to take the over on cars I just died on the desert on the way to Vegas. So we get the Vegas, we pull into this CVS. I run and grab some stuff I go back in power I can't start my car I can't start the car the car won't even turn over it's just dead I'm like these motherfuckers these mother fucks through my car so I go and I'm like shit I get my jumper cables out I put my hood up and people are just walking about by the way if you want to lose faith in your fell man, try to get somebody to jump your fucking car. You ever done that?

Good luck. Nobody cares. Nobody cares, man. We're sitting there for 45 minutes. Anyone jump a car? I can't, running off, I don't know where this chick who works at, uh, what's the name of a strip club, st, th, th, th, I, th, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, th, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. th. that, that, that, that, that, to, to, to. to to. to. to. tha, that, the, the, the, the, the name of a strip club? Olympic Gardens, Olympic Garden Strip Club. She's like, I don't know, like a coat check girl or something like that. I don't know if she walks around with candy, I don't even know.

By the way, my fallout plan, if this career doesn't work out, and it looks like it's not, is to sell candy and strip our bathrooms. That seems to be my plan. So I go, she goes you want to jump, she jumps my car, it starts. So we bring it to the hotel, we bring it to the hotel, they parked a car, we don't use it for two days, we go to start it before we leave to go back, and the car just fucking starts. We're like, holy shit, what the fuck was wrong with it?

I think it was the heat was so bad that we couldn't get, like just didn't want to start. So we, we pull up to a gas station, we're like, we're gonna pump gas full tank and hope this car starts again. We pump the gas, the car starts, holy shit. We drive all the way from Vegas to LA. It's about four and a half drive non-stop. We do stop one time, to eat to do nothing. Well, yeah, we do drive-through,

we do in and out drive-through, but that's it. We don't turn the car off. We just fucking drive. We tell them we're coming in, they're getting the car, the car, we're getting, we're getting, we're getting, we're the car, we're, we the car, we the car, we the car, we the car, we the car, we the car, we the car, we the car, we the car, we the car, the car, the car, the car, the car, the car, the car, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the car. the car. the car. the car. the car. the car. the car. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the together. together. together. together. together. together. together. together. together. together. together. together. together. together. together. together. together. together. the t t t tell them we're coming in, they're getting the cars ready. We pull in, we realize the car's dirty, so we go to get the car wash at an all-Armenian carwash, which is really weird because most car washes, it's weird to see Armenians cleaning cars. It's just weird. They're usually doctors and lawyers or just weird mob dudes. Like Armenians are like, they're either doctors lawyers or just like somehow involved in syndicated crime.

That seems to be it. So like they're always in track suits with like really weird gaudy shoes on, like really weird guard, like third world hookah bar, owners shoes. So we go, we get the car car they pull the car through they wash it they turn it off we go to start it won't start like fuck we're so close they bring out a jumper they jump it it starts we drive it over there

we just keep the car on as we're negotiating so we will pull into this this Mitsubishi. That happens being Glendale. We pull in that, right? And I'm like, okay, I'm going to tell these guys I'm Armenian so they know I'm part of the tribe. That's what you do. You let your people know you're one of them take care of you and that's what they're supposed to do. Whenever I tell people I'm Armenian they always always to to to to to go told. I'm told. I'm told. I'm told. I'm told. I'm to go. I'm told. I'm told. I'm told. I'm to go. I'm told. I'm to go. I'm to go. I'm to be told. I'm thi. I'm told. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm toe. I'm toe. I'm tie. I'm tie. I'm tie. I'm tie. I'm tie. I'm tie. I'm thi. thi. I'm th to whenever I tell people I'm Armenian. They always go oh is your name

Tripoli that's not Armenian. I have to go through ancestry dot com to explain How I'm Armenian, which is my mother's Bedorian her mother's blah blah blah blah you know? So we go through this whole thing right and? I explained to them all this stuff and And they finally go, oh so you all the Aminian, all right, all right. So we start going through it and we start negotiating, right? We want this blue car, this outlander in blue. They told us they give it to us. We get there, they do the classic, oh, we don't have it. What do you mean? They go, oh, we sold it yesterday. I go, are you fucking, that's classic bait and switch man. I'm Armenian.

What are you doing? You're doing this to your tribe. He's like, he's like, nope, well, we get to what? We get you something. We get the same car just with less stuff on it. Okay, fine. So they couldn't find a blue car and I wanted a blue car so I'm gonna sell for white. So we agree to these two cars, right? So now it's like getting into the numbers. So we go to discuss numbers and whenever I get to talk numbers, I always send Dana in to do it.

Dana is my girlfriend, she's Jewish. We do something called sending the Jew. Right. And that's when we, and I just, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. So, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. So, th. It it's, th. It's, th. It's, th. th. th. th. th. th. Okay, th. Okay, th. Okay, th. Okay, th. Okay, th. Okay, th. Okay, th. Okay, th. Okay, thi. Okay, it's, the. Okay, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's th We do something called Sendin' The Jew. Right? And that's when we, and I just released a hounds. And she loves just talking numbers with people. Whenever I'm negotiating my gigs on the road or any of that stuff, Dana just goes in there and wrecks shop. Just wreck shop. And dude, she is going at these dudes and they are just like, they have fear in their eyes. She is lighting them up and they're trying to nickel, because she gets out all, it's like, it's women, women know details. Guys don't give a shit about details. Women know details. They love to get all the, like that's why they love coupons. They love all that stuff. They love all that stuff. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. they they they they they they they they they they they they they they's they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their. their their their their their their their thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. theea. thea. tha. tha. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea So they, so she gets out all their, their, uh, stuff that's been mailed to us about their deals that they have at, at the car dealership that they're acting like they don't have.

She has, you know, written proof of it. And she's negotiating down. They're going back and forth. And so they agree to a number and then we go get the car and this what happens every moment they tried to bait and switch they try to change the car on us we'd agree on like an outlander they bring out less than an outlander like one below it but looks like it but it's one below it so like what the fuck is it took three hours us negotiating negotiating negotiate I'm like I'm Armenian why are you thing you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you th you th you th you th you th you th you th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to, I'm Armenian, why are you doing this to me?

So, three hours in, they want to go home, we want to get a car, they need us to buy a car, we need them to sell a car. Because I know my car, my car is starting to break down. It's that's 64,000 miles. It's starting to get wear and tear. I need to get a new car. So we agree again two cars. They, they, dude, we're taking pictures of the car to show them the difference in the two cars. That's what we're doing. It's like, it's like a weird, I've never had this before where you argue with someone that you just want to buy something from and they want to give you something else. It's like the close thing that has to be is

like with hookers right? You buy you will buy a blowjob they only want to give you a handjob or something long lines that you're like I paid for a blowjob like no you only get a hand job and now you're, I mean, we're screaming at each other. We are, me and these Armenians are screaming at each other. So after about three and a half hours, they decide to send out the Armo hammer, the Armenian hammer. And she's like, he's like, this little short Armenian guy, looks kind of Armenian German. He comes out and he's just no bullshit guy.

He's like, no, here's what happened. You guys come here, you guys say you want deal, then you just keep changing cars on us. Well, no, this is the deal. You get that car, that car for 6.30. So now he's told us we're buying two different cars that we agreed to and now he has raised the price by $50 a month. And dude, something hit when he started yelling at me, went deep into my Armenian DNA, like deep, like hit a special place at only hummus and hookah bars and white B&Ws and track suits and system of a downs at, you know, just like deep in there and I just went Armenian crazy and like, you

ever gotten so mad you just start screaming like a third world person where like you can't finish your sentence, you just yell like, no, you're stupid! No, I kill you! Just like weird, just nouns and verbs, that's all you yell. Nothing else. Nouns, I, I them the down, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you're just, you, you just, th, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, you, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, just, th, th, just, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, like, like, like, thi, like, thi, thi, thi, just, thi, just, just, just, just, just, just, weird, like, just nouns and verbs. That's how you yell. Nothing else. I kill you. That's it. Nouns and verbs.

And I started screaming at this guy, and this fear comes over this guy's face. And he's like, okay, what do you want? And then we just argued, and I realized, they were just testing my Armenianness. And I had the out Armo and Armenian. I had to go out Armenian, the Armenians. And I did it. And I finally got the two cars I wanted. I got two cars for the base of the price of one.

They paid off the 10 grand that I owed on my old car. Now, we agreed to Miles, and this is where you get fucked. I don't know if anyone out there rents a car, leases a car, you lease a car, you get Miles. They suck. Miles suck. Miles, like, Miles is like having a cell phone in the 90s where you're worried about your minutes? A lot of you young kids don't realize this shit when you're unlimited data and your unlimited minutes?

Back in the day, man, you hand somebody phone, you give them a minute to talk and be like, dude, I got minutes, give me my phone back, wrap it up. Man, you got to count your minutes. You know, it's like counting minutes? It's horrible. You kids don't even know that about today. Now I do it with a car. I got carried car. Dude, after getting my car, driving around fixing stuff and coming out to Vegas, I'm almost a thousand miles into this thing. That's week one.

Week one. I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm not going to be able to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the to to the to their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their to their to to to to to I'd love to come see you but I'm out of miles. It's like what the fuck is that? It's ridiculous. So that's it. That was my big adventure. So it's fun. Real quick I wanted to talk about one more thing. I wanted to talk about television. You guys watch that? What are you guys watching? You guys watching a lot of fun stuff? Is anybody watching the Bachelor?

I haven't watched it, but it just seems like a whole bunch of dudes are not watching the Bachelor. I don't know what that means. What are you watching for? Like are guys into like date? I mean, it's just weird. I guess I'm just a weird guy. I don't get men. Like I had a buddy of mine who used in high school used to watch soap operas because he used it to pick up chicks. Like he'd want to talk soaps with that and they'd look at him like your dude, what are you talking soaps for? And it totally back fired on his face. He's like I'd like I I I I I you about it. He's like, no, go like creepy guy watching soap operas during the day go get a job. My buddy did that. But now it's like everybody's watching a bachelor is it good? I don't know. Is it real? Definitely not. Does anybody care? It's just weird, right?

Grown ass man watching The Bachelor, it's like, what do you, why are you into that? What's next? Romantic comedies? Are you that asshole? Are you the guy who goes to jump for Aston movies? You Benedict Arnold? Can't stand that shit. What are we doing? What are we doing? There's a species now watching The Bachelor. By the way, The Bachelor and a big, big brother, big brother, that's what aliens attack, that's what we're going to look like. We're going to be animals in our natural environment. Human zoos. That's basically what the big brother is, is a human zoo. That's all it is.

You're just watching people at, it's like, that is reality television. It's just zoos, human zoos. That's all, you just watch people and you just hope for a little weird violence, get crazy. That's all you're doing. People watching is just watching people being zoos, being animals. It's just, it's just, it is, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's, it's, it's, it's just, it's just, it's the the the the the the the the the, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just,'re doing. People watching is just watching people being zoos, being animals. It's just, it's just, what's it, voyeurism? You're just watching people like you're at the zoo, you know, all these, uh, the zoos have gotten crazy, right? bunch of, a bunch of animals, attacking children, whether it's alligators in Florida or guerrillas in Cincinnati. You know, you know I blame this on Disney. That's

who I blame it on. Disney! And your goddamn movies, you're talking movies, your movies about talking animals. Make these kids think every animal wants to sing and dance with them. If I can walk with the animals, if I can talk with the animals, yeah, you're going to fucking die. That's gonna happen. It's always some weird, fucking, it's always something. It's like, oh, a Pixar movie. Hey, everybody, me. Calvin the Cobra. Willie the wolf. Betty the black widow. It's always some talking animal who's the the the the th. It's, the animal. It's the animal. It's the animal. It's the animal. It's the animal. It's the the the animal. It's the the the animal. It's the the the the the animals, the the the the the the the the the thi. If I's the the thi. If the animals. If the animals. If the animals. If the animals, if I the animals, if I the animals, if I the animals, if I the the the the animals, if I I I I I the animals, if I I I the animals, if I the animals, if I the Wolf, Betty the Black Widow, it's always some talking animal who's teaching you the virtues of life and giving you information. Like animals in a Pixar movie are like Black British people in a guy Richie film. They always give you information you need to figure out your problem.

That's what it is. And it's okay to talk to black British people because I love black British people. I think black British people, I think God is a black British lesbian who DJs in heaven has the best cook. That's just my opinion. But do you wai stop telling the kids to fucking, gotta tell them to stop talking to animals. Animals don't talk, they don't want want to talk to talk to talk to talk to talk to talk to talk to talk to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thei thei to their black British to to their black British people to their black British to their black their black their black their black their black their black their black their black their black their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their toa.a.a.a.a.a.a.a. Black toeck.a. Black b. toeck.a. Black b. Black b. toeck. Black b. toeck. Black b. toeck. theirb. the kids to fucking, gotta tell them to stop talking to animals. Animals don't talk, they don't want to talk, they want to eat you. That's what they want to do. Okay? I'm just convinced that all children's entertainment just leads you to be an idiot drug addict, coming from an idiot who did drugs. Okay? Every cartoon is just basically like what's like to drop

Molly or do shrooms. That's all cartoons are. Hey kids, you want to know what's like to drop Molly and do shrooms? Watch cartoons. Spongebobbed SquarePants? Tell me that's not a giant acid trip. That's all morning cartoons are. Talking to animals and weird situation, tripping balls. Baby's first trip. That's all it is. One show in television I want to get into real quick is The Night Of. That is the best show on TV. HBO is so good. When HBO does shows that they want everybody to watch and they're not just niche shows like girls or looking, which are very niche audiences, you know, when they go for everybody, it's the best show on television. The Night of is the best show on

television. It's about this, this Muslim kid, he's an Arab kid, I think he's Pakistani, goes to jail, and it's like did he commit this crime? And I don't want to give away too much. It's so, it's shot so amazing. It's shot so amazing. It's shot so amazing. It's like one of those shows where when HBO hits it, they knock it out of the park. I just don't want to give away all the plots, but it's so good the shots, just like the shots just set such. The environment so well, this kid is in a world of shit. In a world of shit. Imagine being a little emo fucker having to go to grown-ass-man prison. Grown-ass-man prison. That's fucking horrible.

Worst place. Couldn't think about it. You guys gotta check it out. You guys got to check it out. I just think it's fucking so good dude. Oh my god. And John Tutorial and it is just amazing. The guy's such a quality actor. I mean everything he plays is just the Jesus man and the big Lebowski come on man. I mean that was like what what five lines? knocked it out of the park. Should get an Oscar nomination for it. It's amazing. So that's all I want to. If you haven't seen the night of go check it out. I just want to put this out and just have fun. I'm going to start doing

this every Wednesday. I also a huge announcement. I'm now doing a YouTube show with my buddy Justin Hodak and his fiance, Joden Sweden from Fuller House. So I love you guys. That will be, I'm recording on Thursday. I don't know when it will be put out. It'll probably record on Thursday, probably put it out the following week once they added it all together. So check that out. Don't know the name for it. If you guys can think of any cool names, let me know.

So this is the, this is twtwisted twisted, twisted twisted, twisted twisted, twisted twisted, twisted twisted, twisted twisted, twisted twisted, twisted twisted, twisted twisted, twisted twisted, twisted twisted, twisted twisted, twisted twisted, twisted twisted, the twisted, the twisted, the twisted, the twisted, the twisted, the twisted, thi, thi, thi, the, their, their, to to to, to, to to, to to to to to to to to the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the,this is twisted I just did 35 minutes. Um, the international bad boys is getting its own feed. So you got to look out for that. Get its own feed. It's just literally the internet. It's a sound cloud dot com back slash the international bad boys hour. So, um, check it out. Subscribe to that because that's where the international bad boys episodes are going to be going. So that's about it. This is Sick and Twisted. I just want to say that thank you guys so much for tuning in. I love to hear any positive or negative. I'm just doing this on my iPhone because I just kind of wanted like D-I-Y this thing,

you know, like really keep it simple. I don't want to go into the studio for like another day. I just want to rant and talk shit, and I hope you guys like it. And so that's about it. I will see you guys later, and I will talk to you soon, guys. Take care.