To Die For - 2) License to Kill

Episode Date: March 26, 2024

"We studied all kind of poisons. Where to place them, how long will this poison affect the body, and when the poison will disappear so when there's an autopsy they won't find anything."    Show Credits: Produced by Tenderfoot TV in association with iHeart Podcasts Host/Writer: Neil Strauss Guest: Aliia Roza Executive Producers: Neil Strauss, Donald Albright and Payne Lindsey Lead Producer and Editor: Tristen Bankston Additional Editing: Miles Clark and Christian Brown Supervising Producer: Tracy Kaplan Consultants: Nooshin Valizadeh, Chelsey Goodan and Jaime Albright  Cover Art Design: Byron McCoy Original Music: Makeup and Vanity Set, with additional music by Ben Fleisch Mixed and Mastered: Dayton Cole Theme song: Killer Shangri-lah by Pshycotic Beats featuring Pati Amor Special thanks to: Oren Rosenbaum and the team at UTA, Beck Media and Marketing, Oren Segal, Rebecca Jensen, Rose Baruc, The Nord Group, Meredith Stedman, and Alex Vespestad     For free, confidential, 24/7 support for survivors of sexual assault, as well as information and resources, visit rainn.org, or call 1-800-656-4673. For more podcasts like To Die For, search Tenderfoot TV on your favorite podcast app, or visit us at tenderfoot.tv.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

To have a murder as gruesome as Jade Beasley's doesn't happen very often down here. In Marion, Illinois, an 11-year-old girl brutally stabbed to death. Her father's longtime live-in girlfriend maintaining innocence, but charged with her murder. I am confident that Julie Beckley is guilty. They've never found a weapon. Never made sense. Still doesn't make sense. She found out she was pregnant in jail.

The person who did it is still out there. Listen to Murder on Songbird Road on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. He was a Boy Scout leader, a husband, a father. But he was leading a double life. He was a monster, hiding in plain sight. Journey inside the mind of one of history's most notorious killers, BTK, through the voices of the people who know him best. Listen to Monster BTK on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

All eight episodes of To Die For are available now to binge absolutely free. But for ad-free listening and exclusive bonuses, subscribe to Tenderfoot Plus at tenderfootplus.com or on Apple Podcasts. Warning. The following episode contains explicit language and sexual themes.

Listener discretion is advised. There were some difficult decisions to be made after meeting Alia Rosa. When I researched her online, there was not a lot to find. However, there were a few sources supporting her claims to be a Russian-trained seduction spy. I'm about to introduce you to a real life, I guess you could say, Red Sparrow. She was trained in the KGB-style arts

of seduction, persuasion, and manipulation. Then there were sources saying this. Everyone in LA is creating a narrative to further their own careers. Hers just happens to be absolutely outrageous and also a film that's already been made. So yes, she has lied to my face. I wondered what the truth was

and how do you even go about officially confirming someone was a former FSB seduction agent? After I watched these, Aliyah did give me photographs and documents and even let me speak to one of her former colleagues in Russia But even the authenticity of these can't be proven I also wondered something else How much of some people's skeptical response to Aliyah

comes from the fact that she's a woman presenting herself in a glamorous way online and selling information products After all, for the men at the table on the night I met Aliyah woman, presenting herself in a glamorous way online and selling information products. After all, for the men at the table on the night I met Aaliyah, what was the proof that my friend Johnny Jr.'s family was in the mafia? I come from a mafia family. It's a real mafia family. Or that my other friend really held a high position, he claims, at the CIA.

Best-selling author Chris Voss has made a career out of being a former FBI hostage negotiator. And he also sells information products online. I was an FBI hostage negotiator. It sounds like a cry for help, doesn't it? But he's a man and wears a suit. So I called him to ask how often he's had to prove his identity. Here's his answer. Show like credentials or prove that you were a former his answer. Show, like, credentials or prove

that you were a former FBI agent. I haven't had anybody challenge me. So I made the decision to sit down with Aaliyah and do something no one has ever done for her before. Give her a safe space to share her full story. And to not just listen to it, but listen to truly understand and to support her telling of it.

And then we can look at it all afterward. In order to do this properly, especially after what FBI agent Robin Dreek told me in the last episode, I took and completed a course in trauma-informed interviewing and consulted with everyone from intelligence agents to trauma counselors to social justice professors along the way. So let's just listen to Aliyah's powerful story over the course of these next episodes, find experts, agents, and even targets to better understand the hidden world of Russian seduction spies

and experience what may be one of the most unforgettable and disturbing accounts I've ever heard. Note that for privacy considerations, what may be one of the most unforgettable and disturbing accounts I've ever heard. Note that for privacy considerations, alterations have been made to certain names, identifying features, and locations. Listener discretion is highly advised. Hello everyone, my name is Dalia Ro, and I was a former Russian spy. My name is Dalia Rosa, and I was a Secret Service agent in Russia.

My name is Dalia Rosa. I fled my country due to the last mission I worked as a Secret Service agent. Cool. Okay, cool. I do it. That's good for now. You're a Russian spy. I can just take that one. You like it more, yeah? Oh, everybody likes it. Yeah, yeah. In fact, like, we never called each other, like, spy. I mean, yeah, we were spying, but it's kind of like,

spy is kind of like a movie thing. Like, oh, spy, it's so sexy. But it wasn't, you know, it's just like, okay, we were agents. Even. Even like in my diploma and in my certificate, it says like agent. You know, we don't call each other spies. But in fact, they would call it espionage. It's exactly what is spying. Is it right in Russian? It's the same word?

Yeah. It's kind of like espionage. Right. They would say like espion, which is spy. So espionage. Right. They would say like spion, which is spy. So spionage. Just because people talk about it a lot with Russia, were there poisons as well or not? Oh, yes, absolutely.

We studied all kinds of poisons, yeah. Where to put them, basically where to place them. Like, for example, you can pour some in water or tea. And how long will this poison affect the body? And when the poison will disappear? So when they would do, when the person would release that, and they would do, how do you call it in English?

Autopsy? Yeah, autopsy. Then they wouldn't find anything. It would be just like, they didn't know why this person died. Maybe a heart attack or whatever, or maybe something, you know. Just like happens.

I tell Aliyah that it sounds not like a school for espionage, but a school for death. It's death. You kind of like, I mean, death death is so close you always feel death that you okay so once they give you the gun and you feel the gun in your hand okay so you do understand you can kill you have this power and it's so addictive addictive. I was holding my gun. I got you. I tell you.

I had to kill you. Was it so much fun? To have a murderer as gruesome as Jade Beasley doesn't happen very often down here. In Marion, Illinois, an 11-year-old girl brutally stabbed to death. Her father's longtime live-in girlfriend maintaining innocence, but charged with her murder. I am confident that Julie Beth Lee is guilty. This case, the more I learned about it, the more I'm scratching my head. Something's not right. I'm Lauren Bright Pacheco.

Murder on Songbird Road dives into the conviction of a mother of four who remains behind bars and the investigation that put her there. I have not seen this level of corruption anywhere. It's sickening. If you stab somebody that many times, you have blood splatter. Where's the change of clothes? She found out she was pregnant in jail. She wasn't treated like she was an innocent human being at all. Which is just horrific. Nobody has gotten justice yet. And that's what I wish people would understand.

Listen to Murder on Songbird Road on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. He was a Boy Scout leader, a church deacon, a husband, a father. He went to a local church. He was going to the grocery store with us. He was the guy next door. But he was leading a double life. He was certainly a peeping Tom, looking through the windows, looking at people, fantasizing about what he could do. He then began entering the houses. He could get into their home, take something, and get out and not be caught. He felt very powerful. He was a monster, hiding in plain sight. Someone killed four members of a family. It just didn't happen here. Journey inside the mind of one of history's most notorious killers, BTK, through the voices of the people who know him best.

Listen to Monster BTK on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Episode 2, Chapter 4, Forbidden Emotions. The President of the United States. Good evening, and Merry Christmas to all Americans across our great country. During these last few months, you and I have witnessed one of the greatest dramas of the 20th century, the historic and revolutionary transformation of a totalitarian dictatorship, the Soviet Union, and the liberation of its peoples. New, independent nations have emerged out of the wreckage of the Soviet Empire. This act marks the end of the old Soviet Union,

signified today by Mikhail Gorbachev's decision to resign as president. I am ceasing my activities in the post of president of the USSR. And from the White House, President Bush salutes the man who presided over the end of the Soviet Union. I was born in Soviet Union, in USSR, the country which doesn't exist anymore. My parents coming from Central Asia. According to my DNA, I don't have any Russian blood inside of me. But Kazakhstan was part of USSR. And when in 1991 USSR was dissolved,

my father and my family, we ended up living in Russia, in Moscow. So we had our citizenship of Russia, but yet we have our heritage coming from Central Asia. I was born in the family of a high-ranked officer of the military army. My father was working on the Department of Domestic Security, protecting city and country from criminal gangs coming from former USSR countries. His father was a national hero fighting against Nazi in Second War. And being a little girl, my dad would bring me to the main monument in Stalingrad.

And he would show his father name written on the wall with other heroes. At Stalingrad, German forces were locked in a deadly struggle with the city's beleaguered Red Army defenders. In the terrible battle, half a million Nazi troops were killed, wounded or captured, and more than three quarters of a million Russians. Being a little girl, I remember I looked at my dad going to the work, wearing this uniform, and every single evening when he would come back home, he would take me on his lap and he would tell me that I also should protect people one day and also would serve military one day to protect my country and my people.

I was so proud of my dad and I was so proud to be his daughter and I just wanted him to be proud of me too. And so, from a young age, Aliyah began receiving intense physical training from her father. Home became boot camp. From six years old, every day he would push me to do exercises, push-ups and all this stuff. He would give me, you know, very heavy weights to lift. And he would tell me, okay, so two kilometers is like, I don't know how many miles. Like, okay, you have to go, like, with me, with, like, very heavy stuff in my hands.

And I was, I would be crying, and I would say, I cannot do it, like, it's so heavy. And he's like, no, you do it. You cannot give up. Do it. So I didn't have any other option. I had to go with him, follow him, and just slowly, slowly I became a really strong girl. Physical strength and endurance were not enough for Aliyah's father. He also trained her to be strong mentally. When she came home from elementary school, Aliyah would sit on the floor at her father's feet while he taught her his unique lessons. The most important technique which my dad taught me is always stay cold-blooded,

always stay very focused on the main goal and never be emotional. And you have to train your mind where wherever comes any stressful situation in your life, but you always stay cold-blooded. For example, if something would happen, I don't know, my toy was broken or something, I literally was not allowed to cry. So I couldn't be emotional. I could cry only in the night so nobody could see my tears. And then one day, when she was 12, Aliyah discovered her passion.

I remember one day we were driving and we were driving through the forest and he said, would you like to try to shoot from gun? And I remember the first moment I took a gun and it was heavy and cold, but it was really powerful. He had another gun, which was my favorite. It's much faster.

It's more effective. It's called Stete. Instead of, like, Pistolet Makarov, which is Gun Makarov, it's kind of, like, common. Everybody using it, but Stete gun is, like, Makarov, it's kind of like common, everybody using it. But Tete Gun is like one of my, it was one of my favorite. And I had that excitement that I'm holding this special weapon, like a superhero, to protect other, you know, innocent or weak people. Much of the training Aliyah received from her father, from shooting guns to hiding her true thoughts and emotions, unintentionally prepared her to be what they call in Russia a swallow, or a seduction spy.

Because of the connotations of the word swallow in America, it was changed in its translation here to another bird, a sparrow. This was definitely not the type of military work that Aliyah's father had imagined for his daughter. My father comes from a Muslim family, but in USSR there were no religion, so we wouldn't go to, you know, mosques or wherever, or like keep kind of like traditions. But as a Muslim man, he would be really strict to my mom and to me too. So we would always kind of like serve him, you know what I mean, like serve the man. And myself, like for example, daughters, they have to, when they will marry, they have to be virgin, and before their marriage, they cannot have any sexual relationship with anyone. So my father didn't allow me to go out, my father didn't allow me to have friends, not even like

boyfriends or whatever. So I was even more shy. So I was not allowed to wear makeup or nail polish, like super short skirts or something like that. If I would go out with my friend and I would be late for five minutes, my father would literally beat me with his belt. So I was honestly like, I was scared of him very much. In high school in Moscow, because she was different, Aliyah was picked on relentlessly. I was bullied in my school all the time because I was one Asian girl studying with all these beautiful blonde blue eyes girls. I had pimples all over my face. I had like

big lenses, you know, like glasses. I had long hair. I was dressed really badly because, again, my dad didn't allow me to wear, like, you know, short skirts or dresses. I felt awful. And that was my childhood. And even though I was physically strong and I could really beat them up, all of them, but I just was not confident. And I was just so... I was just an ugly duckling. When Aliyah graduated high school at age 17, she went to a university like most of her classmates.

However, as soon as she turned 18, the minimum age to join the military, her father did something that wouldn't be possible in America. He stormed into the university in his military uniform, made the administrators hand over Leah's records, and forcibly withdrew her from college. And I remember that moment when he went to the university, he took my papers, literally like that.

And, you know, in that city where we lived, he was kind of like a big name. So he took out all my papers and he said, No, you have to go to the military because this is this is our life this is our path and that's it to have a murder as gruesome as Jade Beasley's

doesn't happen very often down here. In Marion, Illinois, an 11-year-old girl brutally stabbed to death. Her father's longtime live-in girlfriend maintaining innocence, but charged with her murder. I am confident that Julie Bethely is guilty.

This case, the more I learned about it, the more I'm scratching my head. Something's not right. I'm Lauren Bright Pacheco. Murder on Songbird Road dives into the conviction of a mother of four who remains behind bars and the investigation that put her there. I have not seen this level of corruption anywhere. It's sickening.

If you stab somebody that many times, you have blood splatter. Where's the change of clothes? She found out she was pregnant in jail. She wasn't treated like she was an innocent human being at all. Which is just horrific. Nobody has gotten justice yet, and that's what I wish people would understand. Listen to Murder on Songbird Road on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. He was a Boy Scout leader, a church deacon, a husband, a father. He went to a local church. He was going to the grocery store with us. He was the guy next door.

But he was leading a double life. He was certainly a peeping Tom, looking through the windows, looking at people, fantasizing about what he could do. He then began entering the houses. He could get into their home, take something, and get out and not be caught. He felt very powerful. He was a monster, hiding in plain sight. Someone killed four members of a family.

It just didn't happen here. Journey inside the mind of one of history's most notorious killers, BTK, through the voices of the people who know him best. Listen to Monster BTK on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Chapter 5. War Crimes Warning. The following contains graphic descriptions of violence and sexual assault that may be too intense or triggering to some listeners. Discretion is advised. Is there anything that makes the Russian military and its culture different than the other militaries you've seen and covered. So in my experience in working in places where there has been the presence of the Russian military, whether that be Syria or in Ukraine, it's just an incredibly brutal military. It's a very menacing... This is Holly McKay, a leading journalist who's investigated war crimes and violence against women in Russia, Ukraine, Syria, Afghanistan, Iraq, and dozens of other countries.

Sort of war crimes that have happened, especially in Ukraine. Just again, the sort of cold-blooded killing, the treatment of civilians or of prisoners of war is just really on another level that I often have just never seen in my time as a war reporter. And mind you, Russian society, it's a very brainwashed society in many ways. You know, whatever the Kremlin says goes. And I think any time you believe that you have the righteous power or that somehow whatever you're doing is for the great of good, you can justify any sort of horrible behavior against another individual. Before we begin the story of Aliyah's time in the military,

which is disturbing on a number of levels, this kind of context is important because being a spy or a secret agent may sound glamorous, but not when you're a woman in the Russian military. Yeah, I'm just curious any context you can provide on what it's like to be a woman in the Russian military or intelligence. It's about 4.2% of the entire forces are made up of women. From everything that I've heard and people that I've interviewed myself, it's just an

extremely hostile environment to work in. And I know even with the US military, it's a very hard slog for women. So many face sexual assault, but in the Russian military, I want to say that that is significantly even more intense and even higher. One particular woman that I remember interviewing back in 2017 when I was doing some work in Moscow, and she had been a Russian military medic. Holly tells the story of this interviewee who was subjected to continued sexual abuse and harassment in the Russian military and made to serve as what they euphemistically call a field wife to her commanders. She was just one example of someone who had suffered so much of that internal trauma. Nothing was necessarily related to the combat.

She didn't see combat herself. But just being in that environment for a decade of her very young life, I think it really destroyed her. And I think she's probably just one example of many that once you sort of get in, it's very difficult to get out, and there is this mentality of where the military wants to break you. That can be done in so many different ways,

and I think for women, that's often manifest itself in sexual assault. And it seems that there's a lot of sort of power and control that if you don't comply with this, we're going to ruin your entire life and your future because this is a career path for the people in it. Yeah, absolutely. You have very few levels of recourse to complain about what happened, to file a complaint, to speak to a supervisor. That will destroy you and your career much more than it's going to destroy a perpetrator. So you're better off just to sort of shut up and be quiet about it and try to get through it,

which of course manifests itself in trauma in the end. But that is certainly the experience of what I've heard with most women in the Russian military. But I personally have never heard of any sort of repercussion against a Russian soldier for sexual assault or rape against a fellow combat troop. And so, against this horrible backdrop, we return to Aaliyah's story and her internship at the Department of Criminal Investigations, a prerequisite before beginning her formal military training. Because of the gravity of what follows, Aaliyah's story will be shared in its entirety as she first told it, without any interruptions.

For many like Aliyah, it's important not to minimize or dilute the severity of these types of experiences. Please note that what she discloses here is very graphic and may be disturbing to some listeners. Today, my dad took me and introduced me to this department, to my future colleagues, my future commander, I remember the day very well. I was confused and I tried to do my best. You know, I wanted to look good, of course, in terms of my intellectual abilities. And I just wanted to be a good employee and a good agent. And I was ready to study and I was really driven.

And I had these romantic feelings about my job. Oh my God, I will protect people. I will do my best. I will, you know, i will do my best i will you know i will serve my country that's amazing like i want to be that you know that that hero like my grandfather was in that department there were about 50 agents and only only me was a female one so all these 49 guys looked at me in the way like

oh and you meet and I didn't realize basically that I was that you know like a deer surrounded by wolves. I didn't realize because I was accepted as an intern, and I had to start my job routine, and I had to just learn and see what is it about and everything, somebody called to our home number.

It was 8 p.m., and I was reading a book. I remember I was preparing to go to sleep. My dad picked up the phone and he spoke with someone and I heard, yes, yes, okay, I understand. Yeah, she'll be right back. She'll be, yeah, she'll be there. Okay, she'll take taxi, she'll come. Then my dad came and he said to me, your colleague just called and they said it's a huge murder. So everybody have to come and try to help, you know, to find out killers and murders. So you have to go and help your department. So get ready. Do it like immediately I came to the department it was about like 8 30 I didn't know right it was my first alarm ever so I don't know what's going on and I just saw only one guy there like one of my colleague my agent who was that time about like maybe 27, 28, something like that. And I came and said like,

hey, all right, so I received the call. So, and he's like, yeah, I called you that. I'm like, okay, yeah, I'm ready to do like, okay, so what do I need to do? He didn't tell me anything. And I was like, why is he so quiet? Like, what's going on? And then I looked at the apartment, everything was like, dark, like no other agents, no lights. Every room is closed. Like, you know, every office's room is so close. And I asked him why no one is in the department, like where everybody? And he's like, oh, everybody's on their own spot, so don't worry about it and he asked me do you want to drink I'm like drink first of all I don't drink I was not allowed to drink alcohol obviously second like what drink I mean we supposed to work right and I asked him like I mean like no I I don't thank you

he said come here to that room because because everything is closed. So I entered the room and I saw a table. I saw a couch and I saw a lamp which was kind of like in a dark mode so it's not too bright and I saw vodka on the table and some kind of like snacks and slowly I started to think that this is not what I'm I'm supposed to do I supposed to work I supposed to be on the alarm I supposed to like do my job but this is not like there is nothing like that I had this thought that something going on but I couldn't understand what and he just came to me so close that I could feel his breath, and I understood that he'd been drinking. And that moment, okay, should I run?

Like, what should I do? I don't know. And then I started to think, wait a minute, how can I run? Because he closed the door with the keys, and I don't have the keys. I cannot open the door to get out. What am I supposed to do? Beat him? I cannot beat him. He's like bigger than me like two times. I'm very petite, 110 pounds and he is like huge guy, two times bigger than me. Like how am I supposed to run? And I mean like how am I supposed to escape? And I started to think about it. So it's just like very quickly and rapidly, like, all these thoughts came into my mind.

And I just understood that, like, I don't know what to do. There is no way to get out. And he took his hand and he put his hand on my neck. I couldn't move because he pushed his body on my body close to the wall. So I couldn't even move anywhere. And he said, so there are two options. Number one, either you fuck with me right now. And number two, I'll still fuck you, but I don't want to leave bruises on your body. And if you think that you will go and complain to your daddy, this is not happening. Because you know why? Because you don't want your daddy go to jail, right? Don't you? And I'm like, no. He said, and you cannot go to police. I'm the power. I'm the government person. You can't do anything. Do you understand? And I just,

I just nod my head. And he said, okay, so what do you choose? And I said, but wait, listen, first of all, I'm virgin. Like I, you know, like I'm coming from a very religious family. Like I never, like I don't know anything about it. And he said like, well, even better for me. That day I had a period. I didn't even use tampons. So I was using pads because I was virgin. So I said, like, this is not pleasant for you at all. Like, I mean, I have a period.

Like, I can't do that anyway. I said, like, let's do it another time, right? I'll come another day and we'll do it. I mean, I'm still here. I work here. I'm not running away or something. So I tried to call to his logical mindset to make him to think

that it doesn't make any sense. And he said to me, hey, what do you think you'll bullshit me? Are you stupid? At that moment, I understood that it just doesn't work. He just grabbed my small body, and he pushed me so strong to the couch. He just jumped on me and he jumped on me so hard that I felt that all my legs and everything like I'm in pain because he like basically he jumped on me and I felt like his bones on my bones and I thought like he basically almost like broke my knees.

I was thinking okay so if I will scream there is no one in this building, so if I will scream, there is no one in this building. So even if I will scream, there's no one really to come. And she just looked into my eyes and he said that, just make it fast. You know, it's all depend from you. And I started to cry and he said, like, I don't care if you cry. I was wearing a skirt. He just threw away my panties with my pad and immediately he he just tried to put his penis and he couldn't do it because I had the virgin hammond and I was super dry of course and he couldn't just basically go inside and he started to scream at me he said to me me, open yourself, like let me in.

And I just couldn't do anything. And I said, I can't. Like I was just crying and screaming, like I cannot do it, I cannot do it. And he started to beat me. He said, I couldn't beat your face because it's obvious bruises and you have to come to your job tomorrow.

And you have to be very quiet about what happened. So I know how to beat without leaving any evidences. So he started to beat my stomach and it was painful. And he said, if you won't let me in, you'll be in pain even longer. I'll beat you till your fucking death. Open your fucking legs. I just understood that I cannot do anything and I just had to let him go inside and just rape me.

The moment I relaxed my body, he rapidly just went inside and it was so painful. And I screamed because it was unexpected pain. pain and I felt that that pressure inside of me and that moment I everything I read in the books or everything I've heard about sex I was like wait a minute this is sex this is, this is sex? This is painful and disgusting. It cannot be a pleasure. I don't understand. This is so bad. He did come quite quick. Thank God.

And the moment he did come, he just jumped out of me and I was so, you know, I just wanted to run away. And I had clothes all over, my blouse was ripped and my skirt was somewhere and everything was in blood. He left into the toilet, I suppose. And I was thinking like, I need to get the hell out right now because I don't want to see him. I just need to get out. I don't know where the keys are, so I have to ask him to open the door and everything and and somebody knocked the door somebody came and I said like fuck why didn't they fucking came like just two minutes ago when he could like stop and like it was like such a bad luck and that guy was still in the bathroom and he went out, he ran into the opening of the door

and he told me, if you will tell anyone about this, I'll make sure that you'll never see the next day. Do you understand? And I looked into his eyes and I understood that he's not joking. Like, this is not a joke. He's like, serious. And I just, I said, yeah.

I said, yeah. I said, okay. And it's just like, I need to go home because my dad is waiting. I need to go home. Like, yeah, okay, go. I just ran. I was so broken and devastated. And I remember when I left the department running back home,

the only one thought I had, how can I leave that no one will notice what really happened to me? Because when I went to the bus, I thought that everybody looked at me that I just, you know, I just had like blood all over myself. And I was thinking like, how can I hide it from my dad so he wouldn't notice or ask me anything? And how can I live with this pain inside of me? I can't cry. I cannot show it. How can I live with this? With this like disappointment, right? It's like everything, wherever I believed, all these romances. And he's supposed to be a good guy in the story. He's an agent. How could this officer,

a military officer who protects people from criminal, how could he reap me? I told myself that moment that the revenge will come and karma will do the best for him. And eventually, it did. To be continued... Available now, along with all eight episodes of To Die For, Volume 1. Continue listening for free on Apple Podcasts. For full credits, check out our show notes. If you or a loved one are a survivor of sexual assault, you can visit RAINN.org, that's R-A-I-N-N.org.

Or call 1-800-656-4673 for free, confidential, 24-7 support. To have a murder as gruesome as Jade Beasley's doesn't happen very often down here. In Marion, Illinois, an 11-year-old girl brutally stabbed to death. Her father's longtime live-in girlfriend maintaining innocence, but charged with her murder. I am confident that Julie Bethely is guilty. They've never found a weapon, never made sense, still doesn't make sense. She found out she was

pregnant in jail. The person who did it is still out there. Listen to Murder on Songbird Road on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. He was a Boy Scout leader, a husband, a father, but he was leading a double life. He was a monster, hiding in plain sight. Journey inside the mind of one of history's most notorious killers, BTK, through the voices of the people who know him best. Listen to Monster BTK on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.