Today, Explained - Dad, where’s my inheritance?

Episode Date: July 31, 2026

When boomers die, they’ll leave trillions to their adult children. Some of those kids say they should get that money now. This episode was produced by Danielle Hewitt, edited by Jenny Lawton, fact-checked by Gabriel Dunatov, engineered by Patrick Boyd and David Tatasciore, and hosted by Noel King. A senior couple sold their house in Minnesota and moved to central Florida, where they will have more time for their convertible sports car. Photo by Bruce Bisping/Star Tribune via Getty Images. Listen to Today, Explained ad-free by becoming a Vox Member: vox.com/members. New Vox members get $20 off their membership right now. Transcript at ⁠vox.com/today-explained-podcast.⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The baby boomers are the wealthiest generation to ever live. They have around $90 trillion in assets. You know the story. They bought houses relatively cheaply. College wasn't so expensive for them. The stock market did huge returns in their lifetime. So boomers will leave trillions of dollars to their kids when they die. But their kids, the millennials and the gen X's and Zs, are wondering,

should we have to wait until they die? I always feel bad for thinking it. But when I watch my mom buy a million-dollar home, while my car is falling apart, Flintstone style, it's really hard not to think. I would enjoy a little bit more support than being told everything works out and comes together in the end. We're struggling to even afford a pretty crappy house in Philly. Meanwhile, our parents are 100% hoarding wealth. Coming up on today, Explain from Box. Inheritance Now?

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Atio, the agentic CRM, makes sure your business is agent ready. From the moment you connect your inbox and calendar, it advances deals and grows accounts. Run every motion your way with Atio, the agentic CRM. You can go to atio.com slash today, explain, and you'll get 15% off your first year. That's ATTIO.com slash today explained. Today explained, Noel King here. So I asked you to give me a call if you have thoughts about getting your inheritance before your parents pass. I thought we would get five or ten calls. I looked this morning and I stopped counting at 60. Y'all have thoughts.

We need that money now. There's a level of shame to it. I can't believe people still get inheritances. Baby boomer parents, beware. They don't even. understand the struggle. So we called some of you back. Mike Kintz is 36 years old. He lives in Evanston, Illinois. All right. So the question, Mike, is,

why do you want your inheritance now? I mean, take a look around. There's a variety of reasons. We are comfortable and not wanting, but it is much like if something were to happen, like my wife, her car is probably going to need to get replaced here soon.

That's going to kind of replace. the car that I literally just paid off after about like seven years of paying it. If something goes wrong with my car and she has something happened to her car or needs a new car, it's like, okay, now those finances are strained even further. And you try to save, you try to put money into your 401K, you have insurance that you have to pay. We don't have kids, thankfully. Like, I don't even like saying thankfully because it sucks that that is one of the thoughts that we have to have is, do we get a house that we can try to afford?

we have a child and kind of like live it in a cramped situation or not live as comfortably or not be able to go do the things we enjoy. So I think that was like the main kind of catalyst for this. It sounds to me like you are aware that your dad does have some money that he intends for you to inherit. Do you know how much money it is? I thought I did. Oh, oh, yeah.

He actually ended up bringing it up at some point and said it was $2,000. 50,000 is what I thought it was. But he's cagey. And I'm like, well, why can't I know you've been holding this like over me for my whole life that you've been putting away this, this sum for me, but I can't have it. What doesn't your dad understand about the economy that you and your wife are dealing with? I don't totally know because he is living in it. For instance, he's 77. As he's getting older, he lives alone. He's, he's, he lives alone. He's, he's, was starting to kind of feel out like, okay, maybe I need to live with you. What if we bought a place together that had, you know, like an in-law suite or like an apartment

in the lower level, I will help pay for it. I said, okay. And then he and I started looking at places. He had a couple neighborhoods in the city that he had picked out. And then he goes, well, this house is $700,000? And I go, yeah, and you need to put work into. it too, which is going to be, I don't even know how much more, because you don't know until you really get in there. And he was like, I can't believe that. And I go, this is, why do you think I haven't bought a house yet? Like, he was baffled by the fact that we hadn't found a place. I'm like, it's insane. What you have to make now just to get a house. He hears and feels and sees all these things, but just doesn't want to, I guess, find that reality of, that that reality exists for me as well.

Let's talk about the conversation. I'm going to be your dad. Let's say you have 60 seconds, Michael. Tell me why I should give you this 250 grand plus now. All right. Well, Dad, you've been telling me this has been mine for my whole life. And I would like to see how this could grow and help affect change in my life in a positive manner. And I would like to not have to wait for you to pass away and have this sad moment

be the reason that I get this. And I'd like for you to see the benefit of it by making a solid investment. I don't even need the whole thing to be able to like, for instance, buy a house or put it into an account that sets us up, my wife and I, for the

long term, in the now, versus waiting to see what world we're entering into where we don't even know if this is going to be enough to make a dent in any type of life that we may have in 10 to 20 years when you possibly pass then.

Mike, I'm going to give it to you. I am not your dad, but here's my advice to you, my friend. I think you should let your dad listen to this interview. What do you think? Goof, man, I may. To other people, I know it may come off like, oh, you have a household income of over $100,000 and you're whining and moaning about not getting daddy's inheritance. And it's like, yeah, but you live in this world and you see what's going on and we're just

trying to improve it for ourselves. And I just feel like this is one of those things that is being withheld from a lot of people that doesn't feel like it's necessary to withhold. My name is Charlotte Coles, and I am a money columnist for New York Magazine The Cut. All right, so you recently wrote this piece about young people, millennials and Gen Z, who really wish their parents would give them money now instead of waiting until they pass and then leaving it as an inheritance. How hard was it for you to find millennials

who were feeling some kind of way about their parents? Not hard at all. Really? Nope. There were many of them who were very game to talk. It was harder to find boomers. I think people don't want to be seen as stingy with their children. It's true that parents want to help.

It also seems true that parents want to help without being asked. Like, there's a sense that I have a responsibility to my child, and I am very happy to get them through college or get them through high school, whatever the case may be. But I want it to be my call. I want to be the one, right? I don't want my kid asking. I want to give before they can ask. Right. Yes, absolutely. I think that is very much true. I think that no parent wants their child to expect it. They want it to be a gift. And nothing the joy of giving a gift quite like having someone expect it. But I think that that is also really difficult for millennials if they're trying to plan for their own future. And if their parents are like,

I don't know, maybe I'll help you with your house. Maybe I won't. Then it's really difficult to know how to save for that. There was another thing we heard much more frequently than I would have expected. And it comes down to how the boomers are actually handling the money that the millennials expect to inherit. So we heard things along the lines of, I know that my parents have money saved for me, but like it's sitting in an account. It's not invested. It's not earning any money. She's acted like, this is so smart because she's not spent it, which of course is great. But like, just a savings account would do better. Yet alone, someone who's younger who's struggling, like, this could help me now with things I'm struggling with or even be invested now,

that you think it must be invested, you know, until one day later. And it raises the question, if the millennials feel like the boomers are not, are maybe mismanaging the inheritance, do they have a right to, you know, say anything? Give mom and dad a note. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think another thing that makes millennials a unique generation is that the market has done really well during our lifetime. And so as a result, millennials are much more investment savvy than previous generations. And previous generations also saw some really huge dips in the stock market. So I can understand why they might feel that the safest

place to put it is the bank. For millennials, I mean, that's basically like giving money away, right? Like your money is just depreciating there in value. So I mean, this really goes back to what I believe is the missing piece here, which is parents saying, hey, I've set aside some money for you. We should talk about it. How much of the difficulty here did you find is about death? I've often wondered, like, what my life would be like once they pass, but that always gives me such a strong sense of guilt because I don't want my parents. to die. I just want to be able to live a similar quality of life to what they were able to give me. No one wants to think about when they die. Yeah. And then you bring money into it. So, Mom,

someday you're going to be dead. And also, let's discuss finances. Totally. I mean, I think part of it is also bound up in retirement, too. And making the transition from living off of your income to living off of your wealth or your savings is also really scary for people. Like, they view their wealth as as a finite source of income. And so the idea that they're now just, like, spending down this pot of money is really scary for a lot of people. There was another person you interviewed. I think his name was Joe. And his particular thing was he was watching his parents in retirement spend a lot of money. Like, they were really live in large. Tell me about him. Joe had asked his dad, who had also been an entrepreneur, for a loan to start a business. And he'd created a business plan. And he had asked his father for a specific loan and had a plan to pay it back. His father felt that his son really needed to figure it out on his own. Even though he could afford to give the loan, he declined. And this is the counter argument to giving your children money when you can afford it or even lending them money.

Some of the boomers who I spoke to felt that it would be robbing their children of the feeling of self-reliance. I think that they really wanted their children to have the experience of making it on their own rather than feeling like they had sort of piggybacked off of their parents' success. There's a very tricky worldview problem happening here that I picked up in your article, which is no one saying that the boomers didn't work hard. and I also get where they're coming from, which is like it's really satisfying to be like, I pulled myself up by my bootstraps. And that generation famously did a lot of bootstrap pulling because the silent generation that came before them didn't do as great. It's that I think the millennials can say, we work hard too.

It's just that it gets you a different outcome these days. I don't understand how they want us and expect us to have a baby and back. house when it's physically impossible. And I just feel like they don't even understand the struggle and they have no idea what they're actually asking of us. My mom will make all of these comments about like, you know, the state of the economy and, you know, oh, well, there's like the have and the have-nots. And it's like, well, yeah, but it's that way because your generation has all the money. If there is one thing that I think all generations have in common, it is thinking that the subsequent generation has it easier than them. Yes.

And thinking the next generation feels entitled and whiny. That is a universal experience. If you look at the data, there are some market differences in the circumstances that millennials find themselves economically. But it's also a little bit apples to oranges. You know, there were some really adverse economic situations in the 70s and the 80s and the 90s as well. It's not that the boomers just had smooth sailing, like, low mortgage rates and cheap housing and plentiful jobs, like, throughout their adulthood either. Part of parenting is learning to watch your kid struggle without, you know, stepping in and bulldozing every obstacle. But at the same time, like, most parents do.

want to help their children. They want their children to do well. They want their children to enjoy their lives. It's because your child as an adult doesn't mean that you're not still family. And I think families help each other. That's part of what families do. So I think it would benefit all generations to be a little bit more open about their financial situations. That was Charlotte Cole. She's the money columnist for New York Magazine's The Cut. Coming up, brace yourselves, boomers. We have a reasoned argument that you should give it all away before you die. Support for the show comes from Framer, not to be confused with Farmer, you know, because

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Boomer. Today, Explained is back with Bill Perkins. Bill wrote the provocatively titled Die With Zero, a book that argues in favor of giving your kids the inheritance while you're alive to watch them spend it. If you're going to leave money to your kids, you should be thinking about what's the right amount. That's probably the first thing that people think about. But one of the things that people don't think about is when is the right time. And I argue ferociously that it is not when you die. It is actually well before you die so that that gift makes the maximum impact on their lives.

So you would be agreeing with the millennials that we've heard throughout our show who are feeling some kind of way about their parents sitting on the inheritance for now and waiting until they pass on. You think the youths have a point. Oh, yeah, I'm their best friend. I am definitely their best friend. When you leave a inheritance to someone, you're trying to have maximum impact on their lives so that they may be able to enjoy it. And that time is not at 86 or 60. the time that they can convert that capital into meaningful experiences at the greatest rate without that much decay is between 28 and 33. Why is that? What's happening between 28 and 33?

The sharpest and the biggest calculator you will ever be is at 28. And you reach physical maturity at 33 and then it's plateaued and declined. And so what that means is that your mental acuity is declining and your physical abilities are declining at, if you're various rates, which means that your ability to convert that money into experiences that you enjoy or can do decline as you age. You know, most of your life is still ahead of you. At 60, most of your life is behind you. So you're making an argument that I typically associate with millennials, which is like the argument that experiences are as important as stuff. And I'm imagining my boomer mom saying, what the hell are you talking about? You need to make sure the mortgage is covered. You need to make sure the college loans are gone.

on, like, how do you figure in that kind of, like, the thing that I think older people are often concerned about, which is, like, this money must be spent in a way that is going to, like, ensure that you don't end up in the street? You know, there's a difference between love and control. And even if we're talking about experiences, buying a house is an experience, even if it's a stuff, right, the acquisition of the thing is an experience. And so if you're trying to control this a little bit and you're trying to say, I want you to have a secure house, I'm not buying.

for you to choose what your life should look like, I'm buying it, giving it to you for me to choose what your life looks like, then, you know, you can direct the gift and buy them the house if you want to. But where that house is going to be most useful for them, you know, the ability to have a house and create a family and have memories and friends over, et cetera, and use that house as an engine of their fulfillment, right, and their lives is not a 60. Die with Zero is a great title for a book. It's great branding. It does make me wonder about the reality of getting older, right? So, of course, we don't know how long we're going to live, and we don't know what it's going to cost to get to 80 or 85 or 90. Are you literally advocating

die with nothing? Or are you saying, hey, Boomer, maybe have like a responsible cushion and give your kids the rest. What are the mechanics of this? You know, I am arguing to get as close to zero as possible. Knowing that there are uncertainties in life, that's going to be probably an impossible goal, especially the biggest uncertainty when you're going to die, you know, kind of the uncertainty around what things will you be doing later in life besides, you know, hanging out and maintaining yourself. But this is an iterative formula and you can, or not on autopilot and you deeply think about it. You can be more efficient with the allocation of your resources and how you split those things up. There's a mathematical reality to some of this.

If you're a boomer and you're sitting on money, you invest it. Having that money compound over 15 or 20 years, you could be giving your kid when they are 60 or 65, just an enormous sum of money versus a much smaller sum based on how investment works when they are 33. What do you think about the argument that it's better math to wait? I would say that they're not truly understanding the purpose of the money. Would you give your kid who's 30 a rattle or a binky, you know? So the understanding of the purpose of the money is for them to have a fulfilling life, not to have a bunch of zero. And so what matters is how did it convert those zeros into a fulfilling life? And so because that

you decay, and that's unfortunate of having a human body, and then you eventually die, the ability of you to convert that money into the adventurous life or fulfillment that you choose declines with age. And you could just have a thought experiment. Like how much would you pay of your net worth to be 30 again? Oh, Jesus. 100% and I'm not 65. Exactly. And so you can easily see that like I'm not going to make enough capital to make up for the difference in age, right? Because that money helps make the life. We know that this is a very hard conversation to have. It's hard for parents to talk about not being here. It's hard for kids to approach this without seeming greedy. How do you suggest families broach this conversation? You know, the one thing I don't tell people is whether you should be leaving an inheritance or not. That's up to you, right? Like, there are some people who are just like, all my money is for me. And like the kids have, you know, I gave them an education or gave them whatever they need, you know, a shot in life and they have to go make their own way. That's one. But those who intend to leave a gift, once they thought deeply about it, I think they will come to the logical conclusion that it's not a bequest. It's an inheritance and that there's a better time. And so in my mind, it's a

It's a gift of love. My wife and I are boomers, and we decided to, rather than leave them money after we reach our end of plan, as our financial advisors say, I think that we would enjoy seeing them use that money now. My father is actually a lawyer who handles wills and estates, and he himself has gone on, in my opinion, quite a positive arc journey, where he's kind of got. rid of some of his previous beliefs about wealth and working hard and all that stuff and has really come to kind of understand the generational wealth gap to really help me and my partner out. It very much warms my heart. I'm a child of Indian immigrants and I currently live in the UK and so on the one

side on the Indian immigrant side it's actually quite common for parents and grandparents to pass off inheritance while they're still alive. in order to stand up and help the families and kids as they're going and growing. It's a gift of opportunity. It's like, here you go. I've been fortunate in my life to be able to pass on the gift of choice. And here's this capital. And here's some wisdom that comes with that.

But again, that's me. Not you. He is Bill Perkins. The book is Die with Zero getting all you can from your money and your life. Today's show was produced by Danielle Hewitt. It was edited by Jenny Lawton. engineered by Patrick Boyd and David Tadishore. Gabriel Donatov is our fact checker.

The rest of the team, Hadi Muagdi, Peter Balin-Rosen, Kelly Wessinger, Ariana Espuru, Dustin De Soto, Denise Gera, and Sean Ramos firm. Miles Bryan is a dad again. Welcome to the team Desmond. Management is Avishai Artsy, Amina El Sadi, and Jolie Myers. Executive producer Miranda Kennedy has France in her pants. We use music by Breakmaster Cylinder, and I'm Noel King.

Today explained is distributed by WNYC, and the show is part of the Vox Media Podcast Network For more award-winning podcasts, podcast.com, check it out. Listen ad-free by signing up at box.com slash members. Car shopping this civic holiday weekend, most car dealerships are closed and all you'll find are crickets. Not Performance Auto Group. They're open this Saturday and Holiday Monday for their annual Civic Holiday Sales event. Celebrate this long weekend with rates from 0%.

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