Today, Explained - Today, Explained: Greatest Hits

Episode Date: May 22, 2020

You asked. We answered. Sean and Noam break down all the original songs in Today, Explained's back catalog. Today, Explained: Greatest Hits is now streaming everywhere! Transcript at vox.com/todayexplained. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hello, hi. Today, Breakmaster. Thank you. I'm Sean Ramos-Verm, it's Today Explained, and that bop you just heard was the extended version of our theme by the mysterious Breakmaster Cylinder. The song has a name, it's Valentine. Love you, Breakmaster. It's Memorial Day weekend here in the United States, which is sort of the unofficial start of summer, and any way you slice it, this summer is going to be a bit of a bummer for all of us. But one of my favorite things about the season is summer music. The summer song, the album you listen to all summer. We play a lot of original music on this show, and whenever we do, listeners always text and tweet and email to say,

yo, where can I find that jam? Well, today, as a little gift for everyone's subdued summer, we are sharing with you all of the original music we've done on this show in just one place. Today explained, Greatest Hits. You can download it, you can stream it, we're still working on the vinyl. I'm going to spend the episode walking through a bunch of what we've done with the guy who's done a lot of it, Today Explained producer, reporter, original songwriter, Noam Hassenfeld. You know his singing voice, it's this one. You've heard that little tag a million times, but I bet a lot of you haven't heard its source. It's Today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, Okay, so you're leaving the office and you look at your phone and you've got pages of push notifications and alerts and the world has changed dramatically while you were working and you're like, what is going on? And we're like, here's a podcast to answer that question. It's called Today Explained from Vox. I'm going to host it for you. My name is Sean Ramos-Firm and we want to answer all those questions you've been asking yourself, like, why doesn't Puerto Rico have power yet? Or what would a war with North Korea even look like? Or if people

keep walking out of the EPA, what happens if there's another deepwater horizon? We're going to take an issue and give you all the context you need to know, and we're going to do it every way we know how. Interviews, clips, trips, radio drama, maybe even a song. We're gonna drop it for the dinner bell every afternoon. But not on the weekend. The music comes fast so we keep it spontaneous. Climb, cliff, motherfucking out of glaciers. Today, today, explain. Today, explain.

She was warm. Nevertheless, she persisted. Lordy, I hope there are tapes. Alternative facts. Very fine people on both sides. Reclaiming my time. Fire and fury. When nobody ever has to say me too again.

Today, Today Explained. No, I'm Hassenfeld. Welcome to Today Explained Greatest Hits. Hello, Sean. Today, today explain. that's not what we're here to talk about today, yeah? Yeah, I'm certainly a lot prouder of the original music we made on the show, the original music that we somehow fit into a workday producing a daily podcast. And I think what's interesting about the original stuff that oftentimes you've written on the show is that they've come out of these really organic moments. Like, there was no plan. We were just having fun and experiencing sort of the joys of production. Like, Matthew Iglesias would come into the studio and anytime Matthew Iglesias sits down for an interview, before we actually hit record and start making stuff, he'll just be like cracking jokes. And one time, very early on in the history of our show, we were doing an episode about steel tariffs

and he just sat down and started humming a song about steel. And I think I sent it to you and I said, like, could we make music out of this? And we were just all so blown away by what you made. Steel. Steel. It's heavy. It's strong. Steel. Steel. Steel.

Oh, I'm trying to conform. I'm trying to conform. Heavy. Aluminum. Strong. Strong. Dun, dun, dun. Dun, dun, dun.

Dun, dun, dun. Steel. What a banger! Yeah, I just kind of love imagining Matthew Iglesias leading some kind of industrial rock, Nine Inch Nails kind of band singing about steel. Dude, the thing that blows my mind about that song, listening to it now, like years later, is just how quickly you did that with this little keyboard that I had, like, underneath my hoodie behind some cabinet.

To be fair, I do have a bunch of instruments on the music program on my computer, but yeah, I think it took maybe an hour and a half, two hours maybe. What a beautiful thing that you got paid to make that. No complaints here. Thank you, Vox. Thank you, Matthew. I want to play a couple more examples of these really organic moments, and these two are sort of connected, so maybe we can play them back to back. I mean, there's been a few instances where you've been at your desk working on something else, And I've been sort of at the Vox TV that we always used to huddle around when the president was speaking or there was a big political moment being broadcast live. When we had an office. When we had an office. And you're probably at your desk

working on something else. But then I slack you and I'm like, yo, the president's declaring like a national emergency to build a border wall. But he just said this thing about like the travel ban and it sounds really musical. Is there a way we could set this to music? Or there's just this roll call in Congress. Can we set that to music? And you're like, uh, maybe. I think I'm always like, definitely not. And then about 10 seconds later, I'm like, okay, let's see what happens. And we will have a national emergency and we will then be sued. They will sue us in the Ninth Circuit, even though it shouldn't be there. We will possibly get a bad ruling and then we'll get another bad ruling and we'll end up in the Supreme Court and hopefully we'll get a fair shake

and we'll win in the Supreme Court. Just like the band, they sued us in the Ninth Circuit and we lost and then we lost in the appellate division and then we went to the Supreme Court and we won. And it was very interesting because yesterday they were talking about the band because we have a band it's very helpful ninth circuit fair shake supreme court just like the band The clerk will call the roll. Mr. Nadler. Aye. Mr. Nadler votes aye. Mr. Richmond.

Yes. Mr. Richmond votes yes. Mr. Jeffries. Aye. Mr. Jeffries votes aye. Mr. Swalwell. Yes. Mr. Swalwell votes yes.

Mr. Liu. Aye. Mr. Liu votes aye. Mr. Raskin. Aye. Mr. Raskin votes aye. Ms. Jayapal. Aye. Ms. Jayalwell votes yes. Mr. Liu? Aye. Mr. Liu votes aye. Mr. Raskin? Aye.

Mr. Raskin votes aye. Ms. Jayapal? Aye. Ms. Jayapal votes aye. Ms. Demings? Aye. Ms. Demings votes aye. Mr. Correa?

Aye. Mr. Correa votes aye. Ms. Scanlan? Aye. Ms. Scanlan votes aye. Ms. Garcia? Aye. Ms. Garcia votes aye.

Mr. Neguse? Aye. Mr. Neguse votes aye. Mr. Collins? No. Mr. Collins votes no. Mr. Chabot? No. Mr. Chabot votes no. Mr. McClintock? No. Mr. McClintock votes no. Ms. Lesko? No. Ms. Lesko votes no. Mr. Reschenthaler? No. Mr. Reschenthaler votes no. Mr. Klein? No. Mr. Klein votes no. Mr. Armstrong? No. Mr. Armstrong votes no. Mr. Stubbe? No. Mr. Stubbe votes no. The motion to table is agreed to. Okay, those were the quick and dirty ones. Now, let's talk about something that took some doing. Back when Michael Cohen was in the news a lot, I had this idea that it'd be really fun

to cover the story in some sort of noir style. And I remember asking you about it. I was not happy. And you were just so not into this idea. I don't know. I remember it was like a long week or something. And I remember just like lying on the floor with my feet on the desk, like not sure how I was ever going to pull this off. And somehow we pulled it off. Let's play a slice of an episode called Dial C for Cohen. And huge shout out to Christina Anamashan, who does graphics at Vox, who really made this thing sing.

And you hear her in the trailer, too. She was the one singing in the trailer. But not on the weekends. So, Noam, what do you say? What do you know? You know, Sean, D.C. is a small town. Word gets around. Yeah? So, what have you been hearing?

Can you keep a secret? Does a sack of potatoes cost a nickel? Been hearing rumors about this Michael Cohen cat. Something about a phone company, a Russian oligarch, Fabergé Eggs. Fabergé Eggs? Yeah, that's right, see? I'm scrambling for answers here. Huh. This sounds like a job for Procop. Cop? I thought you were a P. Huh. This sounds like a job for Procop. Cop? I thought you were a PI. No, no, I'm Andrew Procop,

politics reporter over at Vox. The story really begins in October 2016. Donald Trump, who's running for president at the time, this is a few days before the election, his lawyer, Michael Cohen, sets up a shell company called Essential Consultants LLC. Essential Consultants. Cohen sets up this shell company because there's a porn star named Stormy Daniels. Stormy Daniels, threatening to come forward with a claim that several years ago she had a sexual encounter with Donald Trump. Cohen wants to hush her up, so naturally he makes a deal, a non-disclosure agreement,

in which Stormy Daniels would be paid $130,000. But Cohen didn't want his own name on this paperwork. He basically wanted the money to go through a separate entity that would be a little more difficult to trace. So he set up Essential Consultants. Essential Consultants. And he sent the $130,000 through Essential Consultants LLC to Stormy Daniels' lawyer. And that's the hush money. Hush. This came out in January 2018. But what we only learned this week is that that's not all essential consultants did.

There's more. After Trump won the election, Cohen continued to use this same shell company for all sorts of other transactions. Oh, man, you know what the best part of that was? What? Andrew Prokop had no idea that he was participating in some audio experiment where we would turn our interview into a noir. Like, I think we just sent it to him afterwards and we're like, what do you think? He actually was into it. He actually sent me a picture of Humphrey Bogart when it was all said and done. So I think he was happy with how it came out. And he came back on the show like a thousand times after that. Lots and lots of Prokop. Okay, we got to take a quick break. But before we do,

a very important sort of classic message from us. and reviewing what are you doing right here what are you doing right here and reviewing what are you doing right here and reviewing and one more thing every now and then pick your favorite episode and send it to a friend and one more thing every now and then pick your favorite episode and send it to a friend what are you doing five stars what are you doing love this show today five stars today explain it's today explain Today Explained. It's Today Explained. Support for Today Explained comes from Ramp. Ramp is the corporate card and spend management software designed to help you save time and put money back in your pocket. Ramp says they give finance teams unprecedented control and insight into company spend. With Ramp, you're able to issue cards to every employee with limits and restrictions and automate expense reporting so you can stop wasting time at the end of every month.

And now you can get $250 when you join Ramp. You can go to ramp.com slash explained, ramp.com slash explained, R-A-M-P dot com slash explained. Cards issued by Sutton Bank, member FDIC. Terms and conditions apply. We're back. It's Sean. And Noam. And we're talking about the jams, the bops, the beats. Today Explained, Greatest Hits. Noam, remember when there was an election? The one in a couple months from now? Yeah, that one. But remember before Corona, we used to talk about it on the show all the time,

so much so that I thought you should make little bumpers for the show about the election? Oh, yeah. Like the one you called me up at like 9.30 at night one time and just started singing? Yeah, I was like on the sidewalk in Brooklyn, getting off the subway. And I was like, yo, I just had this idea for the bumper because we were trying to think of something funny. And I was like, what if it's just the numbers? 20, 20 explain. 20, 20 explain. And remember this one too? 20, 20, 2020, 2020. And remember when it was Super Tuesday and we were doing a big Super Tuesday episode and I was like, hey man,

could you write us a Super Tuesday song? How could I forget? Is that how that happened? Super Tuesday, Super Tuesday. Alabama, Arkansas Arkansas California, Colorado Maine, Massachusetts Minnesota North Carolina

Oklahoma, Tennessee and Texas, Utah Vermont, Virginia and American Samoa Super Tuesday Super Tuesday Super Tuesday Super Tuesday But then, of course, this pandemic happened and we sort of stopped talking about the election all the time. But you can still sing about a pandemic.

Right. I mean, I think the pandemic is maybe responsible for Today Explains' greatest hit of all time, like our Hotel California. How did you come up with Six Feet Away? I think that was actually the CDC. Right. OK, but the song. How did you come up with the song, Six Feet Away? I gotta give credit to my older brother Jonah, who thought it would just be the funniest thing to have a love song where both people just have to be six feet away,

but really sung sweetly. A love song about social distancing. Hmm. Hmm. You need to stay six feet away six feet away you called me twice in a row asking me out i said let's stay in and i don't want to be alone so i need you to know i need you to know, I need you to know That you need to stay six feet away, six feet away You need to stay six feet away, six feet away six feet away if you were my hands i would wash you like the cdc says you

deserve and if you were corona i would flatten your your, flatten your curve. You need to stay six feet away, six feet away. You need to stay six feet away, six feet away. The first time I heard that song, I remember one just being very impressed because it's beautiful, but it's also like got like a sort of sexy vibe to it. Like it made me think of like D'Angelo or something. D'Angelo? That is a nice compliment.

Thank you. D'Angelo. Yeah. I mean, it isn't, it isn't for the kids. There's a, there's a bit of a bit of an adult sense to that song. But you also have managed to write some pandemic jams for the kids. Yeah, a couple of weeks ago, we actually made a really fun kids episode, which I produced with Vox podcast producer Bird Pinkerton. And she and I and our engineer, Femme Shapiro's son, Harvey,

got together and made a theme. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's try something a little different. Today! Explain! What? Today! Oh.

Explain! Okay. Today! I get it. Explain! Today! Today! Explain! Explain. Today! I get it. Explain! Today! Today! Explain!

Explain! Today! Today! Explain! More impressive than that, I think, you came up with this really charming sing-along song to wrap up that kids episode that sort of encapsulated all the themes and ideas

that were in the episode. I remember it was in the script, like, insert song to wrap things up. And then you were like, I can't come up with a song. I don't think this is going to work. And then all of a sudden, you had this perfect song. How'd you come up with it? I just got to give credit to Bird here again. I was almost ready to not end it with a song like we'd planned. And Bird just wouldn't let me cut it. She wrote most of the lyrics. My girlfriend, Hannah, helped me come up with a song like we'd planned, and Bird just wouldn't let me cut it. She wrote most of the lyrics. My girlfriend Hannah helped me come up with a melody for the song, and I was really happy we did it in the end.

Okay, we're going to play the But Why song, and then we're going to wrap things up with one of our favorites from an episode we did about the space farce. Here they are back to back, the Cave of But Why and Space Farce. Noam, you're alive! I'm alive, and I learned a lot. Like what? Like...

This cave it judges answers If they're bad it says but why But why? Exactly! And the schools they shouldn't let the kids inside But why? To keep the children safe And their families safe as well

But why? Isn't it obvious why we want to keep families safe? Yeah. Sorry, I got totally carried away. No problem. So. Kids keep other people safe if they stay home from school. But why? They can't cough on each other. They can't sneeze or spit or drool. But why not masks?

Those are pretty good, but perfect they are not. But why? A cough might still get through, so it's best to stay apart. Well, rat. Sorry, bird. You can't argue with the facts. When I was young, I would look up at the stars, trying to take in the vastness of it all. I would imagine myself hurtling through the infinite expanse in search of answers to ancient mysteries,

ready to fight for a better future. Ever since I was little, I have been a warrior. I'm ready to step out into the unknown, to take on the ultimate challenge. I close my eyes. I know where I must go. Space Force Space Force Space Force Space Thank you for listening. Today Explained Greatest Hits is available now on all the streaming services,

Spotify, Apple Music, Tidal. Just search for Today Explained Greatest Hits. You can also listen to all the jams you heard in today's episode and many, many more at vox.com slash today explained. As you heard, Noam Hasenfeld wrote a bunch of the music for the show he also produces and reports the mysterious breakmaster cylinder does a lot of music too they also really miss fred willard a theme the dream shapiro masterminded space farce he also engineers christina aminashan gave that song life with her voice she also rocks visuals here at Vox. Liz Nelson is Vox's editorial director of podcasts.

She helped us put this whole thing together. Her husband made us some killer cover art for the album. The rest of the Take Explain team includes Bridget McCarthy, Amina Alsadi, Halima Shah, and Jillian Weinberger. Cecilia Lay checks our facts. Extra help this week from Paul Mounsey. And we grew this week. Muj Zaydi joined us from

Fresh Air. Thanks, Terry. Welcome, Muj. We are taking Memorial Day off to watch the paint dry back on Tuesday. Take care. What are you doing? Writing and reviewing What are you doing? Writing and reviewing What are you doing? Writing and reviewing What are you doing? Writing and reviewing

You don't know what you're missing Write a search that you have up against or wherever you listen You don't know what you're missing Write a search that you have up against or wherever you listen What are you doing? Five stars Outro Music