Tomorrow - 117: The TV is Lying to Brandy Jensen

Episode Date: May 18, 2018

Is it Yanny or is it Laurel or is it a reason to scream blood? On this week’s episode Josh and Ryan discuss Apple’s latest crappy design, Bitcoin’s leprechaun-shaped carbon footprint, and the latest Cruise Missile news. Later we chat with Brandy Jensen, advice columnist and renaissance woman, about taking responsibility for your actions, living your best life, and reality TV. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey and welcome to tomorrow. I'm your host Josh with Topolski. Today on the podcast we discuss low-boss worth dad dogs and French manicures. I don't want to waste one minute. Let's get right into it. We're back once again. Hello. Here's Ryan Hula-Han, as always. You're me, you're guy, Jay Bird. Jay tops. Jay tops. It's been a, you know, listen, it's another week. If you could sum this week up in one word, would it be Laurel? Or Yenny. Be Lanny. Yarl. Yarl. No, look, it's a big week. We've had four solid, at least four, maybe five solid days of Laurel and Yanny content.

Oh, it's a thing. Which I think is a great testament to how badly everybody needs something that is not Donald Trump or like destruction in their lives. I was like in an improv class for like eight hours and got out of it And I saw that that had been happening. Laurel and Yanny. Yeah, and I was like I have a joke about this But like yeah, it seems like it's past its prime like I'll tweet it out But I am with the understanding that now you look like an old but no seven days later. We're still Laurel

Yeah, so you know listen, I listened to the audio file. You know, and it's crazy how the mind can, sucks. The mind is bad. I said this before, the brain, I said this before we started, but the brain is the most unreliable narrator, which is true. Yeah. Which is why you can't get it when a court case has been memory. Yeah, you know, you can't be like,

yeah, he definitely killed him. That's the way I have no idea what I look like. Yeah. No, that's for the best. I think we all are having a different idea in our heads. You see yourself and then you forget about it. That's how you can get through life. I saw people, not you, but a person.

Yeah. One, I saw people on Twitter doing the thing where they were like, here's what I think. I think when people were told it's either Laurel or Yanny, they tricked themselves into thinking it, it's obviously Laurel. These people don't understand that. And I was like, could we not do this? So it's like, it's like, I mean, I've read a lot of,

you're scientific breakdowns, I mean, vox and the New York Times. I mean, you know, all the publications are just breaking about audio to be dangerous. I think I'll transients, which are like kind of like sounds that aren't part of the main sound that are like around the sound. They're emphasized and fucked with by compression. I mean, that has a lot to do with why I believe, why the thing sounds the way I'm doing. I mean, I'm not going to be a little bit about audio to be dangerous. I think I'll transients, which are like kind of like sounds that aren't part of the main sound that are like around the sound. They're emphasized and fucked with by compression. I mean, that has a lot to do with why I believe why the thing sounds the way it sounds.

But but Yanny's not a word. I think that's the important thing to remember. It doesn't matter if you hear Yanny, it's not Yanny because Yanny is not a word. It's not a word. Yeah. Laurel is a name. Laurel is a name and a word. Yeah. It's not a word. Yeah. Laurel is a name. Laurel is a name and a word. Yeah.

And that's what the word is. Yeah. So you can hear Yanny all the fuck you want. Do you remember this came from? Who cares? Yes, there's an article about it. I'm not reading that article. I'm not.

I want to say it's a New York Times article. A reporter who's been to a full radio. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm just getting good. Right now. Where did Yanny come from? Yeah, sure. You know, I'll bet you I'm gonna make a guess.

I'm gonna make a guess. I have never Googled this. I'm gonna guess there are no fewer than eight separate stories on this topic. Okay. Individually reported. Individually reported stories. The time magazine.

The surprising origin of the Yanny or Laurel Clip. It's tearing the internet apart. I just want to say some people have worn their country. The true, wired, the true history of Yanny and Laurel. The Yanny versus Laurel debate is a perfect example of how bias works says, Oh my God. Yanny or Laurel, it's your brain, not your ears that decides. Guest opinion, the organlive.com, the fundamental nihilism of Yanny versus Laurel.

He wired. That's in depth. Wired to why does this recording of Laurel sound like Yanny to some snopes? Why we care whether everyone heard Laurel or Yanny or any any of these are written by Neil deGrasse Tyson. Yanny or Laurel, three explanations to the mystery of the audio clip. A ling was explained why Laurel sounds like Yanny. Yanny, verse Laurel, is the dress for your ears

as Slate Magazine on May 15th. This is fucking bullshit. By the way, I'm fine. Have your confections. Enjoy your candy. I don't give a shit. Listen, eat your fucking candy all you want. But like fuck you if you've done more than one fucking piece on Laurel or Yanny, okay? I'm sorry, you wrote about it

and you then you wrote about it again, fuck you. That's what I have to say. Listen, I watch four hours of real house life a week. However, with that in mind, I East is organizing an American Holocaust and we're talking about Laurel and Yanny and the American. now listen, I hear that argument. I don't think there's any. It's just about rage. You know, and people are like, let me have my fun. Science explains why this auditorium science explains why this auditory illusion makes you hear Yanny or

Laurel says self magazine. The mix did not get canceled for this to be any or Laurel. Yanny or Laurel, the new debate drive in the internet berserk. That's a NBC. The original Yenny verse Laurel audio will finally settle this once and for all says mashable.com. City of Laurel. It's Laurel. City of Laurel says the Baltimore sun. City of Laurel.

It's Laurel, not Yenny. Digital trends. You're not hearing things. Viral Laurel versus Yenanny debate is an audio brain teaser. The New York Post says Yanny or Laurel the internet can't decide. CBS says Yanny or Laurel debate divides internet. Courier and press says, are you team Laurel or team Yanny? I'll fucking read this shit. I'll spend an hour reading these trailer. What's the deal with this Laurel versus Yanny nonsense? We asked an expert to explain says men's health.com.

Audio clips per social media debate over Yanny or Laurel writes the Boston Globe. The news journal ponders, Yanny or Laurel debate over audio clips, sweeps the internet. Sorry, they're not pondering. That's just a statement. Here's Vox, Yanny or Laurel. Your reality is an interpretation. Okay. Okay. Cool.

The dress all over again. Some here Laurel. Some here Yanny says CBS, Minnesota. LeX 18 in Lexington, Kentucky, Laurel, Yanny. This sound clip broke the internet. So excited for the at three. And I'll say to you, and be Jane Novak,

argue about Yanny versus Laurel debate. It's over says people.com. BuzzFeed news tells you there is a right answer as to what the Laurel Yanny versus Laurel debate. It's over says people.com. Buzzfeed news tells you there is a right answer as to what the Laurel Yanny recording actually said and we're going to tell you. I wonder how many individual pieces Buzzfeed did on Laurel and Yanny. Do we want to take a guess? I would say I'm going to Google it. I'm going to Google it right now. I'm going to guess nine, including like community posts that got promoted. This is going to be fucking ill. Is shit on a second buzz. V.com. I'm seeing we don't have a cyber security corner.

We count foreign publicate the like BuzzFeed. Yeah. Yeah. Let's roll those all up together. Um, there is a right answer. Morning update. There is no Yenny or Laurel. There's only the void.

Are you Yenny or Laurel the definitive test? Yanny or Laurel, what is happening in this recording? Yanny and Laurel, we know what was actually said. 18 celebs who chose a side during the Yanny versus Laurel debate. Here's what scientists have to say about that Yanny and Laurel recording Yanny or Laurel. That's just a page on Buzzfeed. It's a poll. 27 tweets you'll find funny if Yanny and Laurel are ruined in your life.

Are you actually a Yanny or a Laurel? Then we get into the Spanish version, a brief origin of Laurel versus Yanny. This is just Buzzfeed. Pick your dream-slime ingredients and will and will if you're Yanny or Laurel. That's just a weird typo in a headline. Pick your dream-slime ingredients and will if you're Yanny or Laurel. That's just a weird typo in a headline. Pick your dream slime ingredients and will, if your Yanny or Laurel, this is a community contributor.

So that doesn't really count, I guess. Anyhow, I don't know, I don't know what the count was there is at least 10. When is the outline gonna start taking community contributors? I mean, soon. Yeah, soon. You know, really soon, I think. Any day now.

Yeah. I love communities. I love like a mash quiz, like pick which mash character you know, I'm hot lips. Oh, yeah. Anyhow, so America's fun. And the Laurel and Yanny debate rage is on. I hope that I hope that by the end of the month will have arrived at some definitive statement on I like to get Laurel and Yanny in for an interview.

Actually, if we could put them, please give Laura and Yanny not let them do. Laurel, Yanny sketches on SNL this weekend. Oh, she has been because that'll mean Monday. We'll have a whole bunch of stories about that sketch. Let me tell you something. There's no fucking way. There's no fucking way. There's not some Laurel and Yanny reference.

It reference or full on sketch this weekend of Saturday live. There just is no way that it doesn't happen. There's an industry of like Hoda, SNL, Ellen, and like Fallon exist on a spectrum for this specific content. Listen, man, speaking of content, speaking of content, the content that you specifically exist for, mission impossibleout trailer has been released. Oh, let's talk about something good. Okay.

Scientology. Scientology. Scientology is a lot of people don't give it the respect it deserves. But when you're an OT8 like myself, it's the whole never- I never know. The whole theme next year is the beauty of Scientology. It's a whole different story. Everyone's going to be wearing gray. Let me ask you a question. Let me ask you a whole different story. Everyone's gonna be wearing gray.

Let me ask you a question. Let me ask you a question, Ryan. What's above heaven? You wanna find out? Scientology has the answer. The new. Okay. By the way, what's above heaven is a fucking hard statement?

I'm pretty into it. That's my name. It's with the name, my name. That's a romance novel. My next book. What's above heaven? What's above heaven? And other queries. And other funny queries. It's actually the name of my book, my next book, What's Above Have It? What's Above Have? And other queries, and other funny queries.

It's actually the name of my book is and other queries. That's good, that's good. And queer is like, has quotes around it. Yeah, and I've got like a little, it's like, we're doing a little phase. That's very good. I would read that. What my name is written in my handwriting.

Anyhow, anyhow, this trailer, the mission impossible fallout trailer was released yesterday. This trailer, this movie looks so fucking good. I'm sorry, it makes the Avengers look like Justice League. Okay. That's a fucking disc, by the way. That's a desiccature. So you had to tip back between it looks so good. And Tom Cruise. So mission impossible is the Avenger series for people who like good movies. Boom. Mike Draupf. And the podcast.

Goodbye. Anyhow. I wish you and your family the very bad. I really do. I hope your family gets to see mission impossible. This is not spawn comp by the way. This is just one man's passion coming to the surface. I feel like though that the trailer is is beautiful. It's a triple A trailer. Yeah. I feel like I just needed the surface. I feel like though that the trailer is beautiful,

it's a AAA trailer. Yeah. I feel like I just needed the trailer. I'll be honest with you, that last mission, I'm going to see the movie. I watched the last mission in possible movie, kind of like, I don't know. It was good.

You sure? There's a scene in the water. It's good event, but similar to the Avengers, it's the sequences that are good. I'm telling you, this one looks like it's all better off. All better off. It's it seems impossible. Everyone's back.

It's almost impossible. It's not. It's just possible enough. That's what's so good about it. Anyhow, I feel like Ocean's eight is my mission impossible. Ocean's eight does not look good to me at all. I don't know why I've tried. I've watched the trailers.

I've seen all the versions. I've seen the international. You've got to put Sarah Paulson and Rihanna in. I don't know. It's too much, it's too much star power. Some movies, it's like enough is enough. More is more. I think that's true of the other ocean's movies.

It's like a few, like we don't need all the people. Mm-hmm. Like I get it. People are like, oh shit, it's like when Sting and Diddy did, they do it. It's like, oh my god, I can't believe it. It just brought Sting out. And then they bring like the choir out. And you're like, oh shit, it's like when Sting and Diddy did they do that. It was like, oh my God, I can't believe I just brought Sting out. And then they bring like the choir out.

And you're like, what the fuck? Sting's here. It's gonna fuck you out of the hall. 48 hours. Yeah. I think this is back in the puff daddy days. Yeah. I'll be missing you.

Yeah, that's puff daddy days. Which is based on every breath you take by the police. And he does the MTV music awards performance. People were like, what? No, it's like puffy's out there. Yeah. And it's like, okay, this is good.

And then the hook comes in and it's fucking sting rolls out. You're like, these two people. And it's like, this is by the way, this didn't happen that much in those days. No, this was like, holy shit. It was like what's sharing the Jackson Five. That was the other one. It was fucking insane anyhow

But you know, I don't know the oceans films. I just they don't do that much for me The other ones didn't but I'm excited about this one At any rate the mission impossible trailer looks fucking incredible and cruise of course does all his own stunts And you know, it's just it just looks like a masterpiece. It looks like a fucking masterpiece. It's his man who opens. And I'm very excited about it. And that's all I really have to say. I haven't been this excited about a trailer since,

I don't know what, I don't know. You know what, I like the trailer for a lot, which I have not seen yet, but I'm excited about is, you were never really there, which is a Lynn Ramsey film, starring Joaquin Phoenix. He's wearing, he's weirdly wearing the same outfit from I'm still here in the title of the movie, he's very similar.

But apparently, and you were never really there, he plays a, I believe like a gun for hire who has to get into some really dirty shit. Trailers really good. The original trailer, they have a second trailer that's not as good, but you know, I'm a connoisseur of trailers. And there's a lot of bad trailers out right now.

I think that it's not a great moment for trailers. There's been a little bit of a, you know, they don't, they haven't found their new sound. Like modern trailers have not found their new sound. They haven't found the new in a world. We're still coming off of, we're still in a kind of hangover from the Inception noise. Yeah, of course, you know. noise. Yeah, I'm a trailer.

I'm the worst. And it like, you know, and it's like, you can't get away with, you can't get away with the souped up, you know, retro rock song. I mean, that works okay. I know, or Kanye West power. I thought, I thought search and destroy in the war for the plan of the apes.

Trailer was pretty good. I thought that's a pretty great application. This by the way, still not seen the movie and it looks really good. What do you hear? I'll send apparently off the rails in it. They feel like the CGI monkey thing throws me very real. It throws me off a little. The last one was a uncanny for me.

I thought the last one was good. I remember the final battle to be someone forgettable. I haven't seen war for the plan of the apes. I, of course, you know, I'm a huge fan of the original plan of the Apes series. I don't understand why movie battles have gotten so bad. Every battle in the Avengers is so boring. Well, it's because there are no consequences. It's because it's all fake.

It's just so bad. But the Lord of the Rings, two towers is one of the best battle scenes ever. Yeah, go back and watch it. It's great. It's 25 minutes long. War of the Planet of the Apes. War, is it War of the Planet of the Apes? What is it called? War of the planet of the apes.

War of the war for whatever. Practical effects, I think. A lot of practical effects are not my crazy. They trained apes to talk and to walk like men and do science and to carry guns and to put on clothes. And it's all so they used a lot of real apes. And some apes were killed, I understand, in the production of that. But you've got to break a few eggs to make an omelet. You gotta make a delicious omelet, you gotta kill a few apes.

I mean, but the amazing thing about the original plan of the apes films, highly influential series of movies. And by the way, if you haven't seen all five, if you haven't watched all five of the plan of the apes, and I know I'm just a broken record here and I've already talked about this probably a million times in the podcast. Truly one of the great cycles of filmmaking ever, greatest cycles of filmmaking ever. But you know, they produce such iconic moments

like the only good human is a dead human, you know, incredible dialogue, incredible, you know, you blew it all up. You may not actually blew it all up. Never look at the statue. Liberty. Damn you, damn you all to hell. When I go to the statue of Liberty, I see it destroyed a rubble on a beach. I see it with Magneto and it. Okay, that's great stuff.

Magneto. Let's get him back in the mix. There is a new X-Men coming, right? Magneto was right. There's a new X-Men coming with my man, Fast Bender. Yeah. And the key putting it off and my,. And my boy, what is his name? The blue ball guy.

James McAvoy. McAvoy. By the way, McAvoy, oh, McAvoy, unbelievable, and he's in split, right? Very good in split, and they apparently have, there is a Mr. Glass trailer, right? Or is this called Glass? I'm dying.

I'm dying. Okay, does everybody know what we're talking about? And my shaman. And night shaman made a movie that was one of his not successful films that everybody kind of hated cut Unbreakable. But I really liked it. And split is like a quasi sequel to its spoiler alert. And now they've made and they've talked about this for a really long time.

They've been talking about it for like 15 years, making a sequel to Unbreakable, which they've now made, which is I guess about his villain, the villain glass, Mr. Glass. That's a glass. That was what they call. I mean, when they, when they dropped that shit in the original one, I was in a theater full. People and they were like dying of laughter.

He's like, they call me Mr. Glass and people were like cackling because it's so ridiculous. Yeah. But it's like now in the, in the grand scheme of things, when you got a Thanos walking around with his dick chin or whatever, he notes his ball chin, it's a whole different story. You know what? Nobody laughed chin. It's a whole different story. You know what? Nobody laughed at. But was a terrible movie that was ridiculous. What? Signs is one of the. I love that movie. I hate. I love signs. It's a hat on a hat. Signs is the best on a hat on a hat.

Signs is the best shomal in film. Oh, what? Have you ever seen the village? Oh, yeah. The village is good. But like when you watch it a couple of times, it's no lady in the water just kidding. When you watch the village again, you're like, oh, wait, a lot of shit is really making sense now. Like, what's interesting about the village is like, there's scenes where in the early part,

you're like, oh yeah, like this, none of this stuff is like, matches up from a timeline perspective. Like, the furniture and the clothes and stuff are like from different old periods. You're like, those shoes are like, you know, we'll spoil it. Oh, sorry. If you haven't fucking seen the village, the village, it's like 25 years old.

But you know why that village I liked, but I had to write a book, a YA book, called Running Out of Time by Margaret Peterson Haddicks, I think. Wow. That was basically the same plot. So when the movie started, I was like, oh, we're just pretending it's the past. Okay. Wow, spoiler alert. Anyhow, what else is there?

Should we discuss here? We talk about Bitcoin, which is... A Bitcoin? All the energy. This is something that we wrote about on Wednesday, I guess. Anyhow, there's a study or a letter on, I just wanna make sure I frame it right. A letter.

A letter published in the energy journal. Jewel, jewel, jewel, jewel. I how is that pronounced? Jewel like the like the vape? No, like jewel like J.O.U. Ali, like, like the end, the singer and the energy. Thank you. Oh, I was going to say the songwriter that the Bitcoin network is consuming 2.55 gigawatts

of energy annually at the minimum, which is the same amount of energy used by the country of Ireland, all of it. So you know, that's not good. So that's not good. You know, it's funny because nonsense money that doesn't exist. It's funny because people were pinging me

and they're like, and they're like, yeah, but like I'd love to know how much like Microsoft's data centers use, how much power and they're like, yeah, but I'd love to know how much like Microsoft's data centers, you know, use how much power and it's like, yeah, but Microsoft data centers are doing all kinds of things. Like, they're not just like mining invisible currency that may or may not have any actual value. It's like, I guess now it has value

because you saw that energy. It's like as if Pokemon cards needed a nuclear reactor. Yeah, I mean, it's like, I guess it's like, now that you've actually put all of this energy into it. We better use it. It's like, okay, it's worth something. I mean, it burned a lot of energy. So, you know, it's, I mean, but here's the thing.

It's like, this is not like getting better. It's only getting worse. And we're like, things are not that great when it comes to like electricity. Nope. Like, like our means of production for electricity, yeah, and the byproducts of production of electricity are not great. No. You know, and we are continuing to do this.

That's like the electric car thing. It's like that we're setting ourselves up for when we're no longer using fossil fuels to create the electricity. But at the moment, it's just kind of a one-to-one environmental. Right. I mean, it's crazy. It's really insane.

And I don't know what we're gonna do about it, but we're gonna have to solve that. You're gonna have to do something. Quarters, everybody. Quarters are great. You know what's great is money. Money is great. But listen, money, all of it is an illusion, you know?

It's a concept. Yeah, it's a concept. So is everything. Everything is a social construct. So finally, we should talk about a little bit because it's such a hot topic that will be embraced by many of the Tomahel listeners. On topic around the office.

Apple has been here with the class action lawsuit. For being dumbed-ums. Yeah, we talked about this. I think this was a little bit last week, but I was like over the weekend, basically. Yeah, Kasey Johnson, our future editor, has wrote, maybe the definitive piece on Apple's broken fucking keyboards

for their new MacBook Pros and these butterfly keyboards. And now there's a lawsuit that alleges that they knew they were defective. They sold them anyway and they basically kind of lied about it to people. You know, people come in and they're like, my keyboard's broken, they're like, we have some dust under there.

And it's like, or we built a bad product and we are not taking responsibility for it. I think this is, a lot of their design stuff to me feels like I don't know that this is better. You know, it's funny, a person wrote an article a while ago, which is Apple's really bad at design. You should check it out. It's on the, it's on the outline.com.

And it's like, you know, they do, Apple has, gets a lot of credit for design. And I think they deserve a lot of it. But, but lately, there are some, there are some weird holes in their design that I think have created holes and notches that have created a real sense that there's a kind of slippage, general slippage. Now, apples always had little weird problems, right? There was like, antenna gate and there's, you know, when they released iWork, it was a fuck,

or not iWork, a mobile me, it was a complete disaster. I mean, it's not like Apple's free of problems in the past. They aren't iTunes forever. But I feel like it's been of, yeah, but I feel like it's been an, yeah, but I feel like it's been an ever-increasing like sort of laziness. Let me say this. I have no fucking clue how iCloud works. I have a bunch of storage. Oh, tonight, man. Things are moving to the chicken. It's one of the world's worst products. I'll delete something off my desktop and then it's just disappeared off of every computer

and device that I own. I honestly. I honestly truly feel that their internet products have been some of the worst. Consume. Some of the worst conceived internet products in the world in history. Like I have a situation with I have I Cloud drive, you know, because I have I Cloud service. I have all the drives.

I got Google drive. I have drive. You got drive. I get all. But they're like, they're like, I'm like, I need to use this file on my iPad. Oh, there it is, my iCloud Drive. It's like, oh, it hasn't downloaded. I have to wait for it to download to my iPad now,

and then I can open the file. And if I don't have connection, the file's just not, I'm not getting it. It's gone. Whereas other services are just like, yeah, you just tell us what you want, and we'll download it to the device that you want it on. Google Drive's Google-Rate. Google Photos. It's like your photos are in the cloud.

They're in the cloud. They could be on your device, but like it's very simple what's going on. Yeah. You don't need to have the money to buy. Apple photos, I don't know where anything is. I went, I do many things. I don't know where they're going. No, it's a nightmare. The whole thing is crazy. Anyhow, the point is that Apple has now has a significant case against them that seems to have some, some who is grounded in reality. Clearly a lot of people have had problems with these keyboards.

I need to buy a laptop. I need to buy a laptop too. You know it's funny, it's like I've been using a surface for a while. It's like I like the surface. I love it. There are things about it that I actually hate, but I need a new Mac

because everybody here uses a Mac and my whole life is on Mac. Yeah, they won with their locking the end all this stupid shit. Well, my mainly for me, it's like we do keynotes and stuff and I need to be able to use keynote and I don't want to keep switching back and forth, but I don't really want to buy another. I don't want to. I'm not a Mac laptop. Like I just don't. Yeah, you have going into an Apple store to me. It feels like going to the fucking dentist. It's the worst. I used to be so excited to go to the dentist and the Apple store. Then I grew up and I was like, this is hell.

You're evil. It's not good. When I walk past an Apple store, I'm like, no, I'm like, I'm going in there to what? To replace a lightning cable that should be printed off. I know I could buy something there. I know I could. By the way, speaking of, this is a quick pivot we should talk about. I bought a Fitbit Versa, which is their Apple Watch like it.

Yeah, that's what I'm wearing right now. Yeah, look good. And I can say, I really like it. It's all you need. It's like, but it's like, it's like, it's first of it. It looks a lot like an Apple Watch. Like people definitely are like, that's an Apple Watch. But it's square and not rectangular, which is actually good.

It's like, oh yeah, like, this is better because because like round things, it feels more like a watch. Yeah. It's more like a round thing, but it's not round. Yeah. But also it's just. And up clocks should be round. It's so much like, it's like so much lower pressure in terms of like what it does.

And also the battery life is insane. So it doesn't get like days, right? It does stuff. Yeah, it does stuff. Like I can get my messages on it. I can, you know, that's all I want to recall. I want to get text messages. But, but like, yeah, it's what it does. But it also does really good fitness tracking

because it's fit bit. And also, I'm this non endorsement, but I do weirdly like it. Also, it is like, I don't remember the last time I charged it. It's been several days. That's amazing. It's still got like 50% battery. It's like that.

You put it on the charger for like, I will say the Apple Pencils like that, that I never charged that. Yeah, but the Pencils, what are you doing with Pencil? I do like sketches. No, I get it. It's cool if you have, like, you want a nervous sketch.

That's great. Yeah. But if you're a color, I mean, if you're a jury, a coloring sounds like a great. Yeah, no one's doing work on it. No, people, I guess are. I bet I, you know what I do with the Pencils?

I use it to browse at a distance, like in bed, I'll like hold the iPad and I'll use the pencil like, so I can, so I don't have to have the iPad like with my finger on it, which is like, actually really bad. It seems silly. You know what, you know what fucking rips is cursors? You know what's great? Like fucking mouse.

Trackpad. Yeah, those are a lot. I'm a mouse, an abstraction of this shit. So you like navigate without having to have your fucking hand on top of the thing. Yeah. Sorry, sometimes that just, it doesn't, it's not a good idea. I'll say this with the Apple Watch.

Normally, I'm a more is more man. I like things to do all the shit I wanted to do. I love that my like Xbox. Oh, more is more. More is more. I like that my Xbox has like a weird drop box app and I can browse the internet. I never gonna do it. More is more to me.

But with the Apple Watch, it's the first time that I'm like, do less honey. We don't need to be playing solidaire on our watches. Just last day. It's exactly, it's exactly. That's what I'm saying. They put all this energy in the wrong place. It's so weird. It's like, oh, you can do, you have a fucking Instagram

on your watch, it's like, no one wants that. I barely, I usually think Instagram. She's supposed to be like, oh, you're supposed to be like, oh, you're supposed to be like, oh, you're supposed to, oh, they don't want to talk into their watch. I hate talking to my like, I don't want to be like, oh yes, hold on. Like, they don't want to talk him in their watch. We are, I hate talking to my phone. I want to. I want to.

I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to.

I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to.

I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want it. It's weird. I thought it was like a Samsung anything. I think they did a good job. Yeah. And it's not that expensive either. So there's my, that's my tech review. That's our two. So two upsides this week, mission impossible trailer. Yeah. Buy a fit bit and go to, we go to the sea, the new mission impossible while wearing your laptop recommendations that aren't. Yeah. Yeah. That's right. Give Ryan a laptop recommendation. Okay. We have a, we have a gas I'm very excited about yeah Who do I want to I'm gonna bring in and so let's take a break? We'll be right back with the outline social media editor and so much more Brandi Jackson What happens if you play monopoly with real money? We've got to pay the pipe.

Okay, let's pay the pipe. There are no more watches in this. Please get reinvented game of an object. What does space sound like? What happens when you overwork yourself? Do you believe that work-related stress has increased? It reflects the fact of how little value we place on the well-being of human beings.

The Outline World Dispatch. Every Monday through Thursday, we bring you a new story on the theme of power, culture, or the future, and picked from theoutline.com. Find us an Apple Podcast, Google Play, Spotify, your Amazon Alexa Flash Brief briefing, or wherever you download your podcasts. Also, you can say, okay, Google, play me the news and we're right there. Oh my God, yeah! Make your mornings a little weirder.

We're here with Brandy Jensen, Brandy, hello. Hi. Thank you for joining me. My pleasure. Brandy is, I guess we're gonna find out if My pleasure. Brandy is, well, we'll see, I guess we're going to find out Brandy is the social media editor of the outline, but I think that title is, is does not do her actual presence justice. Well, first of you, write your columnist. You read a column called Ask a Fuck Up. I do. I'm our, I'm our resident fuck up. That's right. And you respond to other

fuckups with advice about their lives. I, yes. I tell people strangers. I tell people what to do with their lives, which is fabulous. Have you had any, have you had any follow-ups? And then anyhow, and you know, you're doing, you're going to do some other writing and some other thing and stuff. And like, I think that you're not just, I think social media just sounds like you're like, you do our Twitter. You would you do. And you're very good at that. Thank you. You're in fact, I'm a Renaissance woman. Brandy, if you don't follow her on her own account, which is Brandy L. Jensen, that's Brandy L. Jensen.

That's correct. J-E-N-S-E-N. Yes. Okay, good. We had to give you a copy of it so I'm cool. Yes, I remember how your name is spelled out. I'm pretty talented. But you're very funny on Twitter.

Thank you. I think one of the reasons, one of the very big reasons that we were like, let's have Brandi come here and do this was like, everybody was like, she's fucking hilarious. And you're, your genesis, the genesis of your Twitter persona. My Twitter persona is literally just me. It's just you.

It's just me popping off on Twitter. You're just a mean popping off on Twitter. Yeah. And people really liked it. And you've got like, I mean, some people really fucking hate it. Yeah. Well, this is the internet. I made the best decision I've made for my mental health in ages a while ago, which is that I muted notifications from anybody that I don't follow.

So now I've got a bunch of weird thirsty dudes and people telling me I suck. And I never get to see it. I never see it, which is delightful. Well, you've got, I mean, you've got to, you're kind of like a triple threat to men on the internet because like you're funny, you say whatever you want, you know, you've got a picture of yourself,

you're an attractive young woman here. And like that's for men on Twitter. There, it's too much for them. They have to respond poorly. Like, yeah. You know, you're outspoken. Like, my mom's too funny. I get a lot of weird guys on Twitter.

And then I am like perpetually single in real life. And I don't want to think too much about how those things might be connected. Are you DM's open? They are. Oh my God. Oh my God. It's a wild fucking thing.

I guess it like, okay, okay, let's talk about that. Let's, let's, let's go deep on this for a second. Your DMs are open. You have 73,000 followers, which I mean, and by the way, a lot of your tweets, you're not just like a person who tweets and has followers. You actually have a really high, like people who follow you are into it and

they promote it. Like, this is such an embarrassing conversation. I have. Great. No, but like, listen, I tweet you all the time. Dorothy Parker would have loved this conversation. I'm like, there's just a certain, there's a segment of people. I tweet you all the time.

It's like, if it's not about a gadget, there's like 75% of the people who follow. I'm not tweeting about real housewives. That's it. No, no response. Because all your thing is like, you're you, you followed you. I'm not tweeting about real housewives. That's it. No, they're overspoken. Because all your thing is like you're you, you're like I'm going to get some lunch and people are like 5,000 reads. 10,000 likes, it's like, which is,

I really interest in phenomena because you don't see that too often. Like what's going on in your DMs? Like what's happening in there on a given day? Can you ask about lunch? Well, I sort of, I only jump in there occasionally because they're like compartmentalized. We see what they're doing right now.

So I did, I mainly keep them open because I do for the content, right? And I will often just like make fun of the really sad horny men who DM me. Oh, the worst of 10. All the in cells. Although they've actually, they've gotten really nice lately, strangely. I get a lot of people who tell me that they like my column.

Um, a lot of great. Yeah. Yeah. While you're looking through your DMs on them, and then that, you know, they're just, well, since there are a lot of, um, legitimate, um, pegging enthusiasts who reach out to me because of my bio. Yeah, your bio is behind every successful man as a woman, pegging him, which I think is very good.

Very, that's an original. Yeah. Yes, very good stuff. But I get a lot of men who, I'm not quite sure how they find me, but they are just like very sincere, pegging enthusiasts. I did once a guy sent me unsolicited photos of him naked with a dildo up his ass. Wow. But the funniest thing about the photos are these fully naked except he's wearing white tube socks.

Oh my god. I was going to say. There was something about that that I just found fascinating. No, no, no, no, it was fascinating. This to me is, I would say there's a couple of things. Like, I have like a porn pet peeves. Like, one of them is like, if there's two extreme of a like I have like a porn pet peeves like one of them is like if there's two extreme of a French manicure, if it's just over the top, I'm like this is just a

but it doesn't work. Laura actually pointed it out to me. She's like, there's all these like crazy ass French manicures that are so over the top. And now when I'm looking at porn, if I ever see, I'm like, oh, that's actually distracting. Josh, I do not want to talk to you about porn. No, but the socks, the socks thing, socks thing. This is a, in this zone, we're all equal. Okay. The socks thing is crazy. It's another one that's like, why are you new? But for white socks.

The socks thing is weird. Yeah, I get a lot of, I used to get a lot of unsolicited dick pics. Yeah, I was gonna ask like, you must be. Those have dropped off. Well, I did sort of famously, I got a really, really bad one that I just, um, did you do your tweet? Did you put it out there? Well, I did end of famously, I got a really, really bad one that I just- Did you tweet, did you put it out there? Well, I did end up tweeting it. I sent it to a bunch of my friends

and they had such hilarious comments that I would just kept tweeting their comments. Oh my God. Oh my God. So I'm gonna say that my friend, Gia, said that the dick looked like at a mommy. Oh my God. My friend, Tim was like,

is that dick was a dog? I'd shoot it. Oh my God. Was it like a British or something? It's just a really really really bad Placid uncircumcised peanuts. Oh on circumcise if I go through your media will I eventually find it? Oh, no, this is like last year. I think I can show it to you though I mean I'm curious. I mean I actually I sent it to Leah and Casey not long ago That's so nice that you're sharing those around the office, definitely not at any kind

of HR violation. I think we should have a release when people come on the podcast. I've just realized now that I, you mentioned the point. Yeah, don't get me in any, in any situation in this office, it would be inappropriate for me to talk about what bothers me when I see porn, except on the tomorrow podcast, which has got to be some kind of space. Maybe that's just the sign that we should avoid the time. I don't know.

Oh yeah, there it is. Oh wow. I gotta see this. I gotta see this. It's so, it's so not, who would, why would you? I mean, I assume that God likes this much to have some sort of humiliation for this. Oh, okay.

Oh my, I feel like I wouldn't be, I would be actively keeping this different. Yes. Yes. You want to put your, the secret. You want to put your best foot forward. I also, I mean, I do, I really resent like a modicum of efforts, sir. This thing is completely flaccid. Like there's not even, it's not even as if he's like, he's pulled out and he's at an angle.

Yeah. And there's some light in here. He's just like, look how bad this is. I feel like if you're going to set a dick pick on solicited, you need, it needs to be like, you just shouldn't, just should, you just never should, just never, never, never, never, never, even on grinder. I agree. I agree.

But if you're going to do it, you need like a Gregory Kruz and level production. You need, I don't know if you know the photographer who does these insane stage photos. You need like a team to, to make it look good. If you're going to be setting dicks to people, I don't know if you know the photographer who does these insane stage photos. You need like a team to make it look good. If you're going to be sending dicks to people, I don't think you should. I of course advocate against sending any pictures. You know what? I want sent unsolicited to me. Pick those little baby cherub photoshoots from the 90s.

Like, angaddies? Yeah, yeah. So many sent those. Just saying that's what I want. Don't send me dicks. For like the dogs, who was the person who put the dogs in the flowers or what is the same? Oh, yes. Yeah. I don't know if that's angaddies. Don't be Dix. For like the dogs, who was the person who put the dogs in the flowers or what is the saying? Oh, yes.

Yeah. I don't know if that's in. It's like, man, get these to like the babies in the flower. In the pew pot or whatever. Yeah. No, but there's a person who knows that with dogs. Okay. They're.

Send dogs not. I feel like that could be. That's make that up. That's not Dix. Oh, is it William Wegman? I have no idea. William Wegman does these dogs love dogs. These things. You're seeing these pictures. Oh, yeah, I've seen those. These guys, uh, a good boy's all this fucking guy right here. Yeah, some of those dogs are, I don't know

that I, that dog looks sad, that dog looks like, so looks like his wife left him. They're all like middle-aged diversity divorced, dead, and the dogs. Exactly. Anyhow, all right, so Brandy, so, so wow, we've been through so much and so such a condensed period of time. So anyhow, so you're very popular in Twitter and people like you. You get a lot of DMs, not so many day picks anymore, which is great. You have this column, ask a fuck up.

I do. And the genit, well, the column started you, I tell me because it happened in our slack. You were like, well, no, I tweeted, I tweeted, like sort of half joke, that I said I think that somebody should give me an advice column called ask a fuck up based on the premise that I refused to learn from my own mistakes, but maybe other people can. And then I think you saw it and said that that's actually a good idea. Yes. And everybody, every literally, every person was like,

you should definitely get a call. Yes. I don't think there was a person on the staff who wasn't like, do the column. And the column has been, people really like it. And people read it and they seem to be taking your advice, I think. They do. I have had a couple of people follow up.

So I think the column that was most widely read so far is the woman who was in a new relationship with a guy who was like just an astonishing piece of shit. Yeah, like he was like oops, may have, you know, in the past, raped a few people. Yeah, just real bad. And so I, you know, told her I told her under, I was very clear that you need to leave this guy immediately. And she followed up and said, shit, you're right.

I didn't. Yeah. So many times. Outside opinions. Yeah. I mean, look, I've been there. The point of the column is that I'm not going to judge you for your decisions or mistakes because I

have also made them. Sure. But that's part of the charm of it. You had one, I'm trying to think of which one it was, but you're, the gist of, there was like a phrase in it that I think about, in the gist of it was like, it's like, you're not, it's like, I'm trying to think of exactly how you framed it. It was like, one of these things where it's like, you don't, you can't, if your behavior has been bad, it's like you can't just like, there is no like,

get out of jail free for having bad behavior. I think you phrase it in a very different way. Oh, well, yes, so that I did. Not in this one, it was in a different column. Yeah, so when I started writing the column, I was like kind of surprised by just the number of people emailing me with some version of like, I did a really shitty thing and hurt someone and now I feel bad about it.

How do I feel okay about it? And then like, that's not, you don't, you don't get to feel okay. I'm in you poorly and now I feel bad. Yes. And what you said was, and this is, I think, I, I thought this was so good. You said, that's why I would like to take a moment to states of being clearly, I do not think that the primary mandate of becoming an adult is learning to accept yourself if you are in fact behaving unacceptably, which is like a really amazing statement like that I

think a lot of people don't think about. It's like you don't, you're not just like, yeah, I'm behaving badly, but well, well, there's, I mean, you know, one of the reasons why I was kind of interested in writing in advice column is that I wanted to push back against this general trend that I see in a lot of advice writing or even personal essays that like, you just need to learn to accept yourself. You know, you need to learn to love yourself. And I mean, on some level, sure, if, you know, you can love who you are, but like, you don't get to love what you do if what you do is hurt other people.

Right. It's self-esteem. It's your solution to every problem, your Donald Trump. Yeah. Like, the guy. This is just not, you don't get to feel good about yourself. All the time. If you are just leaving a wake of collateral damage behind you, and that is other people, we live in a world with other people and we're all responsible to each other. And at some point, you have to say, like, I can't just treat people.

I like, like, you have to confront the fact of others. You bet George Costanza once said, we live in a society. Yes. But like, the idea is essentially like you actually there is some behavior you probably need to address. Like, if you can't just be like, well, I accept myself. I'm a rapist, but that's who I am. Well, and just, okay, find, feel bad about it, but then also don't,

like this self-legulating guilt becomes really performative too, especially with men. Oh, I'm just like, I've just heard people all the time and I feel terrible and I can't, like, please, I feel so awful about what I've done. And like, oh, now it's suddenly, it's about me and my feelings instead of like the people that you've hurt and theirs. And it's just incredibly tedious and tiresome.

And I have no time for it. So it's just like, just don't do that anymore. You know? Just don't fucking do that anymore. So wait, the woman who, the woman who messaged you and said, yeah, I really do, did she get out of that relationship? So she told me that she had decided that she was going to leave him, although I don't know, I haven't followed up to see you.

Yeah, I've heard from her, so now. She's checking. Maybe I should check in with her. Yeah, do like a follow up on that one. But I really like it. I really like the column because it's like, you are, you don't bullshit people. Like, it's very, it's very much like your Twitter.

It's very just, you'll. Well, I mean, part of that is that I am a profoundly lazy person and writer. And so I tend to want to just like get my advice dispensed with. Yeah, that's another way in which I'm sort of like anti-modern advice column where, you know, you'll get like a 3,000 word personal essay and then finally at the end a bit of advice. And I'm like, man, nobody gives a shit.

I feel like the big run up to you. So what I would do is it's like just start with that. Yeah, I feel like the big trends in advice comms have been two things. One, an advice columnist who isn't like a therapist and has never seen you diagnosing you in some way, even if they don't use the term, they're like, yeah, I think why you're doing this. And it's like, we're not talking about the why. Just tell them what they need to do or stop doing. And if the solution is go to therapy, it's go to therapy.

That and self-care as the opposite of self-esteem or like a companion of self-esteem as the bandaid for everything, like we just sheet mask our way through. Yeah, it's up a self-care. I don't got it out on everybody. I just feel like doing things that you enjoy is does it have to become self-care or can it just be? I think it is, I mean,

I subscribe a morality to doing things that you enjoy, which is healthy, but not necessarily a moral victory. It's yet another what was once a very meaningful and salient political idea that was sort of surfaced by black feminist radical, black radical feminists. In the 70s, it's then just become co-opted by corporate feminism as a way to sell sheet masks. Right.

No, it's like hashtag self-care. Yeah, it's gotten really ugly. Well, and it is, it is that it, like, it becomes this very indulgence sort of gesture, right? Like, oh, you know, sorry, I had to bail on your 30th birthday, but I needed to like stay home and watch billions hashtags self-care. Like, no, you're just being a shitty friend.

Or just like I had two bottles of wine and I like called my ex and re-really had it out. But you know what, hashtags self-care, and it's like a picture of them in the bath. And you're like, that sounds like you had a terrible night. Well, that will have bad consequences. What are you talking about? Not everything that feels good is self-care.

And also, sometimes I think we need to think like self-care is good. Care about other people. Like care for other people is also a self-care thing. Yeah, I mean, I feel like- In the true form of self-care. I feel like a lot of the people who are doing self-care, like your situation's pretty self-care, like 24-7.

Yeah. Like I see a lot of people where I'm like, I don't's pretty self-care, like 24-7. Like I see a lot of people where I'm like, I don't know, man, you're on vacation a lot. Does it feel like you are particularly in need of self-care? You know, honestly, the people that I see using that phrase most, and often it's in places like Instagram, but it's other places, I'm like, what is happening in your life?

I'm not judging. They may have things that I don't know going on. I just like to be performatively to your point, like I'm taking care of myself. It's like, well good for you, but why don't you tell everybody? But also, you probably have it easier than like 99% of other people on the planet. And so like maybe don't fucking broadcast it.

I don't know. That's just one man's opinion. One man's opinion. Yeah. So, Brandy, I want to talk about something that you and I have in common. I mean, we just talked about it previously, but not on a recording.

And so I'm bringing it up now. You wrote a thing for the cut. I did. It's called, they have a series cut. I think about this a lot. I'm upset. They do these, they do these. Yeah, it's about your own personal meme,

like this whatever, you know. Yeah, it's like when I met Laura, she told me that she had had good vibrations, stuck in her head for seven years straight. See, that's me with sister Christian. I've heard sister Christian stuck in my head for the better part of 12 years. Does it just default?

It just goes back. Yeah, just everyone's like, if I'm not, if I'm not thinking about something else, or if I do catch myself in like a rare moment of calm where I'm not online, then it's just that it's really, it's weird. I don't get it. You're the only person I've heard besides Laura that meant me to jump in, I think.

And I was like, no, that's not a thing. When I met her, I remember she was telling me about it. I'm like, yeah, you're, that's not real. You can't have a song stuck in your head for like seven years. No, yes, you can. Well, apparently you can. Yeah, I feel like I have a revisiting. Every time it's really quiet in my apartment, Groove is in the heart. You're taking the shit out of my, I don't even like Sister Christian that much. I don't know like I'm plagued by that. I'm trying to think of the way Sister, does it the beginning of it? Yeah, and well, her thing was the beginning of the song

of the beginning of Goodbyeson. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's definitely the beginning of songs, or like I guess even a lyric that sometimes like just to suddenly, like when I get into my house, I think of the RuPaul line, guess who's back in the house every single day, and it's so irritating.

That's funny. I wish I didn't. I don't have, I do get songs stuck in my head, but it's usually like a one small part of a song that I can't shake. Yeah, I'll do like one lyric obsessively over and over and over again. Yeah, which is like the brain is fucking stupid. Like what is the brain doing? So the reason I'm asking about this is because you wrote a thing about the final scene of

the hills. I did. And I can't stop thinking about it. Can you describe to, see, I've spent a lot of time thinking about it as well. And in fact, like when people are talking about reality TV and shows they love, almost always, I think back to this and think about how, well, I'll save my opinion. Can you talk a little bit about your opinion, what it is and what is interesting about it to you.

So, I mean, the way that I framed it in the piece is one of the reasons I can't stop thinking about it is that it was the first time that I realized like the TV was lying to me and this was an upsetting thing, which is like a frankly embarrassing thing to realize. Watching the final episode. Watching it. Yes. And it aired on, sorry, what is the date? It aired in 2010 final episode. Yes. And it aired on, sorry, what is the date for the air?

It aired in 2010. Okay, wow. Okay, so that's a pretty late stage revelation. Well, I mean, I was aware that like fiction and scripted television shows existed before that. But the, I mean, the promise of reality TV at that point was that it was like unscripted and it was just a sort of, you know, it was real, right? And in the series finale, the way that it ended is that the camera pulls back to reveal

that they're actually like on a sound stage. And so there was this sort of waking like, oh, you know, you've all been tricked. They went out of their way to make it, it's Brodie and Lauren, right? No, in Kristen, Kevlar. Oh, right, because Lauren, like, she's like out there. She finally went to Paris. I forgot, like, they did one of those things in that show where it was like. The last season was Kristen, who sucked ass.

She's totally the worst. She's totally the worst. I mean, totally sucked. I mean, the worst. I guess that's like universal feeling. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, Lauren was also horrible.

No, they were all terrible. They were all terrible. They were all terrible. They were-hero. You were like, Lauren is breaking that. They only good ones. The only good one was low. The only good one was low. Low was the bad one. The only low was the bad. Low was the one who's always like, what's going on?

Right? I feel like in every scene she was like, I don't get it. Yeah, but she seemed like the most emotionally stable. There's a scene on Laguna Beach where one girl is going for her wicked audition at like that summer. She's going to New York and she's going to do a wicked audition. And Lo is getting her nails done while she tells her this and she's like, wow big plans. She gets that it's also stupid. Yeah. Wait, actually before we talk about the end, I want to think about this for say it. So Lauren was like the main character. Yes.

Heidi was her, was her friend who became her enemy. Heidi and Spencer of course, and then there was Adrina. Adrina. Who was a beta version of Sheena from Vanderpump rule? Yeah. Adrina was a, Adrina dated Justin Bobby, right? Adrina dated Bobby, which was like,

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Johnny Depp. A fucking amazing, amazing character. I love Justin Bobby. Yes, everybody loves Justin Bobby. You know, he's a hairdresser now? He was a hairdresser then. I thought he was a mom.

No, no, he was a hairdresser. That's a little model. That was, he was also a hairdresser. Yeah, Justin Bobby, Justin Bobby fits in with a long line of fictional men and that my affection towards them sort of explains why I, Panacole, I'm called ask a fuck up. He's very much, he's like the Jordan Catalano. Oh totally.

He's like the, fuck boy. He's like the tray from, or the Troy Dyer from reality by. Yeah, he's a fucking, he's the like, beautiful dumbass who will also still somehow manage to break your heart. Yeah, for the D. And then it's like, even more ridiculous because this idiot managed to do it. Yeah, he's like a guy who's like, he's like even it's even more ridiculous because this idiot managed to do it.

Yeah. He's like a guy who's like, he's like, uh, he's like, you find out he's cheating on you. And he's like, oh, is that cheating? Yeah. I know she's my crystal healer. And that was part of the. Just like, you know, then he gets a promotion. No, Justin Bobby's an amazing character.

And of course, Adrina was like fully abused by him. I mean, not like physically, but like he clearly was like fucking with her. Yeah. And she was like, going like every possible mistake was being made. And I was like, this is such great TV. And then wait, so low, she was kind of a side character. Yes.

She popped in and out. Who else is there? When there a girl with... There's Whitney. Whitney. Lauren worked with the ass. And then she went on to do her own one. Whitney, I forgot about the city. Whitney. Which worked with the ass. The city. And then she went on to do her own one. Whitney, I forgot about the city.

Whitney. Which was not good. It was terrible. Oh, man. Because Whitney can't really, she's sad. She was like, it's gonna be sex in the city. But it's just me and I'm not interesting. And there's no sex.

Whitney, they did her show and they had what's her name? Olivia. Yeah. What was her name? She was supposed to be her foil. And it's like, you just found a random person. And now I'm supposed to care about them like that. That was the point. That was the whole thing. Right. So when I was trying to write the

piece I wrote for the cut, really was just the series finale that keeps popping into my brain because I've been trying to figure out, I've been really obsessed lately with like tracing my first full break with reality because none, nothing that is happening right now, like seems like it should be happening, but yet it clearly is. It's definitely, and we are now. We are living in what I have come to call the Mad Libs age because it's just like, you know, so I tried to trace it back and I'm like, was it when Sean Penn interviewed El Chapo? Was it when?

Oh my god. I forgot about that. I forgot about it. Was it like, oh my god. Like, you know, I forgot about that. Like a random word generation. Yeah, was it, yeah, was it when like, you know, whatever other, and then so I'm trying to trace it back and I was like, you know what, I think the first time that I started being like, wait, can I even tell what's real was reality TV?

Was the series finale of the house? But reality TV is deeply, I mean, I think this gets to, so just, right, so it ends with, it's a scene between Kristen and Brody, right? Yes. Which they just, like, we're like, I guess we'll also have you guys, they have a thing, but whatever. Yeah. And it's like, they pull back, and it's like, there's a bunch of crew people there.

There's a fake background. There's like a boom. Yeah. It's like, it's like fake lighting, makeup artists on the line. And this whole thing has been a lie, right? Yes. And it's kind of amazing, you know, because I always, and I think, I mean, a lot of people may be branding not you,

but I think there was a kind of sense of reality TV is like, yes, they seem, they make it seem real, but actually a lot of the stuff has been kind of scripted or like, it's been like stage. Well, there was a sense that like it was engineered, you know, people were like put into situations, but- Like there's no call sheet, but we're all going to dinner and the producer's booked it. Yes.

Yeah. I mean, I just have housewives as well. Yeah. I mean, like I said, the idea that these people like went to work, we just clearly, ridiculous. Like they don't have like a jobs and phone or whatever. Yeah, Lauren's like, oh, I have to get to work. Yeah.

And do you have something? Do work there? Oh, was Kelly Cattron? Was that her boss? Yes, I worked out for a while. Kelly on earth is one of the best television shows that was ever. Now, Laura and I were like, so into Kelly Ketron. We were like, this woman is the fucking best. She's like, so I can. Kelly Ketron is fucking amazing. I completely forgot about her. Sorry, but you were saying that these people are put together, but it doesn't, it's not actually scripted moments. Yeah

And that felt like a very sort of winking admission of like, oh, we've you know, yeah They were like over on you. Yeah, I feel like that was basically like all of this was made up. Yes, like they're like all of this Was a manufactured not and we none of this was actually real. Yes, and that that's our like wink to you But it's interesting because no one had acknowledged it totally like in the product before that, I don't think. No, no, yeah, I mean, I think reality TV people would were firmly insistent that yes, like like absolutely. But like on Bravo, they never, they're sometimes they'll talk about being in the papers, but

they'll never acknowledge that they're on a television show that they're all making money from this. They'll find it over like, you don't have a job. It's like he's doing his job. The funniest thing is when they talk about, you know, like, oh, I, you know, one character will be like, I'm not lying to you, I'm not lying to you, and then they'll have the interview

where they're like, I was clearly lying to this person. And then it's like never brought up again that the other person is gonna watch that. Yeah, like you would just say, there's footage. Just tell me. Yeah. But it was so much more interesting if they did. I would love to like see a reality show that was fully like

acknowledged. Yeah, I agree with that. I want to see reality show where people are like looking at us weekly, I mean like I can't believe they use this picture of me. Like where you acknowledge the publicity and all the shit that goes around it. Like the comeback. Does nobody do that on reality TV?

Not really. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I just too many shows. But the intercom forals is the best reality TV? Not really. I love it. I love it. You got a little bit. Really? There's too many shows. But the Intercom rules is the best reality TV show ever made. But I, I, I, I, I agree.

But they don't need, they live in shitty apartments and pretend to be waiters and you know they're making like 500 grand a year and defy where they're not making that much. They are. They think they are. Yeah, they, I mean, they get paid to show up at clubs and staff. They get paid to post on Instagram. Yeah. They get paid to do fake book deals. They get paid to they just can't paid at every turn.

Whenever I hear about people getting paid to show up at clubs, I think of Slurms McKenzie from Futurama. Nobody knows what I'm talking about. I know you don't. Slurms McKenzie is, you know what I'm not even going to go into it. It's so, you know, it's just like this would be like me tell you I rickid Morty. And I know for a fact, that's not a good thing to do. Please, please. Remember when Kanye was like, Rick and Morty's by favorite show. It was like, oh, of course, like, this would be like me tell you about Rick and Morty. And I know for a fact, that's not a good thing to do. Please, please.

Remember when Kanye was like Rick and Morty's by favorite show, it was like, oh, of course, like this make perfect sense. But it's interesting what you said about like the break with reality and the madlibs concept, because reality TV is obviously deeply tied into the whatever's happening in the world right now. Like, we are actually, then I'll like to the reality TV president. We, I mean, an actual, not like a, that's not like you're saying that like, oh, he's the world right now. Like, we are actually- Yeah, I mean, we then elected the reality TV president. We, I mean, an actual, not like a, that's not like you're saying that like,

oh, he's the reality TV president. No, like that's literally, that's a true state. It was a reality TV star. That's actually what he's best known for. Besides being Donald Trump, which is not a thing, maybe it is a thing, but- But that was actually weirdly a little bit. I'm gonna be 100s honest, slightly gratifying for me,

because I do so much of my work about reality TV and so much of my comedy and my writing. You're like my moments. Well, I just said, I was finally like, I told you guys this was important. Yes. I told you something was happening here. The fact that like, like the end that they're the most

underserved or like least respected fans, but they believe it all to be real. So it's a real kind of power that this medium has over people. Yeah, it was. And nobody acknowledged it until we elected it president. But reality TV is the perfect entertainment for a collapsing society. I mean, it is like, yeah, I want to be an asshole. It's like total voyeurism.

I love to live in a crumbling empire. Yeah, and we are in a crumbling empire. I know, it's like, it's like, it's chaos. It's like, look at your neighbors and what they're doing. I mean, it's like a few degrees away from like, brother or shit. It's like, watching Kong crashes and orgasms. It's a few degrees away from everybody just has a camera

and you're like, I mean, that is, that's Instagram. That's social media. Anyhow, so it's a very good time out there. I want to get you to watch Vanderpump rules. I've watched it. It's great. Okay, I want to watch it. I want to watch it.

But I found the people on it to be intolerable. That's the point. No, but they are like all the words all so say about their completely irredeemable monster emotionally broken psychopath. Yeah, but here's the thing. I we've such a little time on this planet, you know, are you know, days. What are they for? You know, as Philip Larkin asked in his great

poem, days also Philip Larkin, famous Nazi, but great poet. Um, but, you know, do I really want to, how many, how many seasons of Vanderpump rules are there? Uh, six, we're in the six. Okay. How many episodes are in season? They're started up being like 12 and now we're at 22 or 24. Yeah. But they are, they're, they're, they're not a. But they are, they're, they're not a dud. They're not a dud. I'm not a dud, I'm not a dud. I'm not a dud here. I'm talking about like, are you getting,

when you are, when you're on your deathbed, or when you're, when the wave of nuclear heat is coming towards you, yeah, North Korea nuclear heat, which also sounds like a great band that I would listen to it. Do you want to be thinking, I spent too much time watching Vanderpump rules? No, I won't think that.

Do you want to do, how do you feel about that? Will you, will you feel that way? Well, watching too much Vanderpump rules be one of my like foremost regrets as a, yes, as a interstellar object hurdles towards the earth. And our, no. You won't feel like you wasted time watching Better Poveroles. That attitude is the thing that is frustrating to me. I mean, literally what else?

What else am I going to be doing? I don't know. Watching Charlie Rose. Like, come on. I mean, it's no worse than watching baseball. In fact, it's better because you're dissecting human. Oh, no, I know. I'm afraid to say about people who are baseball.

No, I mean, my only, if it was announced tomorrow that, you know, there was some sort of impending apocalyptic event and we had 12 hours, my only regret would be like that I had treated people poorly. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, my regret would be that I feel like I don't use my body enough. I'd like to go for a run at some point in my life. I have fuck running.

I think I'd be really pissed that I didn't have more time. First, then I would be bummed about my daughter. This is very depressing. Then I would get fucking so high that nothing would matter. I would do everything. You would finally finish your vanter from for matter. I would do. I would do. I would do every drug and do a marathon. I put it on fast forward.

Yeah. I put it on like 4x speed and get through all of the interpub rules as the comment hit the planet. All right. Well, look, Brandy, I don't want to keep you in this horribly hot room for too much longer. It is very warm in here. You're going on. You're going to do a podcast or radio with Dan Savage.

I think it's technically a podcast. If I allow to talk about this, yeah, yeah, I'm going to do it on the 22nd. We're recording on the 22nd. I don't know when it's actually airing. I'm going to air, but he invited you on. Yes. So I think he has this segment where he gets other writers advice columnists to offer a second opinion. Yeah.

And you're going to be offering opinions to his fan base. Yes. Are you excited about that? I am. I mean, it's a big deal. Yeah. I mean, Dan Savage is here. Yeah, a lot of listeners. So is he a controversial figure? Do we like Dan Savage?

Ryan, we've run the gamut and we like him now. What happened with Dan Savage? He was a very fat shimmy massage artist. He supported the Iraq war. He had some weird biphobia issues. He had some trim, maybe transphobia stuff. He had some, he had, he had, he was a awful, so windy west. Well, in the west, I love landy west. It's been, there's been like, he was awful to, in what context was he awful to land the west? He was just very, like emotionally abusive because of

her body and her quote unquote, health and like constantly pressuring her into change. She writes about this in her book and it's beautifully written and I'm not going to recap it. But I say keep away from the bodies. That's my thing. But I'll say this. There's a lot of stuff he is one of the people who I think has learned in public really well. And I'm okay saying, I think you've learned. Let's move on. I'm not holding this over you. Yeah. You learned in public. That's great. You know, it's funny. I heard Andy Cohen on Howard Stern the other day and he was talking about wearing a man who never learns they tell you about wearing Dullchain Gabana

After they had that whole thing with like gay marriage or whatever and he was like well I went and taught to them and they explained their position to me and I was like, okay I feel like I'm comfortable now wearing their clothes. I'm like that's not an excuse No, you're like oh they explained their position about how they have shitty ideas and are against your ideas and you're like, yeah, I'll wear their clothes. It's insanely good, excuse. I like a person who can be like, yeah, that was the mistake. Yeah, that's a good move to admit your mistake.

Oops. That was my bad. I feel like I do this all the time. I'm a hypocrite a little bit. You know what? I'm a hypocrite a little bit. That's a totally fine thing to say. It's okay.

Look, if you read Ask a Fuck Up, you'll learn that everybody is making mistakes. All of us, say that. Sometimes all you need is to just say, listen, I'm not a great person and I accept myself. No, I'm not good. And that's just why I am. But I love my asshole self.

Yeah, I'll take a little time for me. Yeah, little hashtag self-care. I'm gonna put on a face mask and just live with me and know that I'm the best Yeah, all right brandy any any final thoughts as we as we wind down this whirlwind of a conversation Anything you'd like to share with the tomorrow listener. What's your one piece of advice for them? Yeah, what is it? What is a piece of advice you'd give to any bigger small and everybody? Do you feel all this bar? Always tip well. That's a good great. What are the services back? Tip well. I mean, still tip well. What's what you need to have a standard tip and if the

service is good, you go above. Let me ask you. And by the way, I tend to over tip because I'm bad at math. So I just go right round. I'm like, I'll go up. I'm like, I'll make it a zero at the end. So I'll go like up to whatever the next zero is because I'm like, I'll go up. I'm like, I'll make it a zero at the end. So I'll go like up to whatever the next zero is because I'm, again, very bad at math. 15% if the service is better, no. You do 20 no matter what. 20 is my bike base line. Yeah, baseline.

And then if you did a good job, even just were nice to me and brought me some extra mayo, I will throw five bucks on that. You know what, I feel like the thing is, and I actually might have been talking about this with somebody recently, now that I think of it, I feel like it's like not tipping somebody well, doesn't actually deliver the message.

I feel like if your service was really bad, if somebody really heard this. I was in service for 10 years, when somebody didn't tip me well, I just thought that they were an asshole. Right, and you know what you say? You tip them well, whatever, here's your full tip. Just as a note, I had a really good this,

but when you did this, it made me come up to the wall. No, just keep your mouth tip. Just doesn't know. I had a really good this, but when you did this and made it come up. Just keep your mouth shut and keep it moving. I think if the situation is so bad that you feel like you're going to tip poorly, it's like just do the tip and then talk to some, if you're like, wow, this person was the worst way. That's what I mean, like actually bad. Like, like, I mean, you're not going to affect change. What a weird social contract where you're like, wow, this person was the worst way or I've ever had. That's what I mean, like actually bad. Like, I mean, you're not gonna affect change. What a weird social contract where you're like, I'll affect change to this person. If I just give them like $3 less tip,

like I don't feel like anybody gets that message. No. No, I just assume she's cheap. Well, Brandy has to leave. She's got to get to her next, whatever it is. I'm gonna call him a tweet, a, but Brandy, thank you for joining us. Thank you so much for having me.

Contrash, you're obligated to join the tomorrow podcast whenever I ask, but it's thank you for joining us. Thank you so much for having me. Thank you so much for having me. I know. I know. Contrashially you're obligated to join the Tomorrow podcast whenever I ask, but it's nice that you did it with using your free will. No, that's not true, but this was very enjoyable. You have to come back post-dance average. Sure. And tell me how it was.

And also, I think that, you know, once you have your book ready, once you've got enough of these advice coming. God, writing a book seems exhausting. Again, I really need to focus on the fact I'm an incredibly lazy person. Has anybody reached out about a book? No. I bet something will.

I feel like getting other people to do half the work with their questions would be a great way for me to do it. Yeah, you only have to write half the book. Yeah, exactly. That's a good deal. I have Randy, thank you for being here. Thank you so much. You're free to go. Well, that is our show for this week.

We'll be back next week with more tomorrow. And as always, I wish you and your family the very best, though. I understand your family has just encountered the trained apes from war for the planet of the apes, and things aren't going well.