Tomorrow - 145: Mary Poppins Plays on God Mode

Episode Date: December 29, 2018

For the final episode of 2018, Josh and Ryan discuss why it's so hard to find good tweets, the omnipotent super-being that is Mary Poppins, Iggy Azalea's lifestyle choices, and Bandersnatch-ing your Polybius. Oh yeah, and Alice Walker is a David Icke disciple. 2018 truly was our dumbest year yet. Join us as we ride it out on Tomorrow number 145. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey and welcome to tomorrow I'm host, Joshua Topolsky. Today on the podcast we discuss Iggy Azalea, the color purple, and Mary Poppins. I don't want to waste one minute. Let's get right into it. Okay, this is it. This is the one, the final tomorrow, the last tomorrow of the year. Let me finish. Don't get ahead of yourself. Final tomorrow of 2018, and the beginning of all your future tomorrows, literally and figuratively.

So it's very cool. Tomorrow never dies. Very cool and very legal. It's how I describe the situation. You know, we live in a time when the president can just, he'll just tweet one day, he'll tweet like I was doing a real estate deal, very cool and very legal with Russia. And then you know, like, you almost forget about it.

It just is like, you know, the president told a child that Santa Claus doesn't exist on Christmas Eve. And I forgot it happened just what you just said the president. Yeah. No, you know, he's like, he just said that had happened four years ago. I it would be all I talked about. I mean, I know it's I know I get it. It's like we're in the we're through the looking glass or whatever they say, you know, whatever the kids are talking about these days. But it is kind of stunning. How much shit he spews out of the internet and just like what a kind of how comfortable we've all become with the situation, you know, how how relaxed we all are about it.

Like, like, remember, remember a few years ago and they're saying a millennial could never be president because we've all leaked our own needs already. Like, I don't want to blow your mind, but like, I can't wait to get our nude, our nude taking president to office. Does he have nudes? Is this, I heard you, I caught a little bit of this. Is there something with him having nudes? Oh, I don't know.

Does he have nudes? I heard something about Trump. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Does he have nudes?

I heard something about Trump. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I donania. Donald Trump's scene in the nude. No, that's 2016. Oh, that's old. This is all bullshit. I need fresh Trump. Does Robert Mueller, this is a root article from eight hours ago, does Robert Mueller have a photo of Trump's junk?

Okay, let's just, this is delvinous. Can we just, can we just preliminarily say cursed image? On Thursday, a Russian company told Federal Court that buried in the mountain of evidence collected by special counsel Robert Mueller for his investigation into Russian collusion during the 2016 presidential election, there is a naked selfie of his mushroom deck. This is on CNN. This is from a story on CNN. It's just a photo of Toadette. It's actually him holding a picture of Toad

in front of his janitors. I mean, you know, listen, got, oh, oh, oh, just thinking of his mushroom deck and it's very upsetting to me. Nintendo, more relevant than ever. They really are. You know, it's incredible. It's incredible how Nintendo has surged forward, surged into the spotlight. Everybody's talking about Toad.

That's what he's talking about. The most famous man in the world is a huge fan. Sorry, I'm just having a sip of my scotch. What scotch is that? What is it? It's an Oban 14. Oh, it's a good stuff. I'm it? It's an Obon 14. Oh. It's a good stuff. I'm eating leftover guilt from a local ass. Yes. Yes. Yes.

I was just, I just saw a good tweet and I was like, yeah, I was like, yeah, I was like, yeah, I was like, yeah, I was queen. I'm going to tweet that. And then Laura was like, please don't. I'm like, I'm not going to tweet, yes, queen. I was just like, it's just something that I do or feel comfortable doing. This is not my move, you know?

I tweeted earlier tonight, John said, Bander Snatch Rules after we watched that Netflix. Thank you. Oh, you watch it, we gotta talk about it. Yeah, we gotta talk about it. I'm a little upset about it. Oh, is it bad? It's really good.

It's okay. I think it's okay. It's like, I think it's okay. It's just like, I think it's like, I think it's like, I think it's like, I think it's like, I think it's like,

it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like,

it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like,

it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's And it was essentially a version of the idea that they ended up doing. And I'm so mad at myself for not just doing it on an iPhone with like, you know, consumer stuff and then like, suing them later. Is there like a meta, there's like a meta thing, right? Yes. Okay, so duh, I mean, obviously. I mean, it's Blackbeer and they're doing a stunt. Yeah, I do think, but I do think this.

I do think, now I really wanna watch it, but I hurt play it or whatever it is you do. I do think that it's all about- What's the difference? It's black mirror. Oh, wow. Computers, is it? Like, what is the fuck a tweet?

It's like the best. It's something like, like, phones are mental, isn't it? Yeah, it's like computers, am I right or whatever. So actually, I was going through my old likes while I was putting together this list of the best things on the internet in 2018. And one of my likes is a tweet that is a picture of a business, I guess,

a picture of a business, I guess, called TfW Computers and the tweet is black mirror 2015. You know what would be awesome is if Twitter had a function where you could go to your likes and you could search your likes. Yeah. You know what would be awesome if Twitter had any function? Like it's yours, like you'd say, like, go to your likes and you could search your likes. Yeah. You know it would be awesome if Twitter had any fun trips. Like it's, it's, it's yours that you'd say like,

like I have 1,300 likes, which is not a lot because I, I sparingly like that. You can't even go through your old likes. You can only go up to a certain point and then they lock them. So you can't even see what you liked. Yeah. Yep.

No. Yeah. That's not good. I don't like that. Sometimes I'll find an old post that I, I'll find an old post that I definitely liked and it won't even come up that I liked it and I have to like I'll re-like it and then it will re-enter my likes, recent likes. Twitter is not a well-made like machine. It's really bad. We need better machines. Yeah. Black Mirror 2018. We need better machine. We really do. It's like

everything is so fucking old. Yeah. It's so old. Everything is like that. And I will say I watched Ready Player One, which I hated that fucking book, but the movie was, I didn't love this. I mean, it was like entertaining in a few parts. I have some notes, but I do think, and when I was done with it, I was like, oh, this makes me really be back into VR and whatever. And I was like, or whatever the next thing is.

And I was like, God, everything we have is just the stuff shit we've had for years. There's like nothing that I'm like so excited about. Yeah. I want, I want, I want some black mirror shit. I want to put a little, you know, piece of pasta on my neck and then my dead relatives come back to haunt me or whatever the fuck I have in the chest.

I just want to fuck. I would, would watch that. Is that an episode? Or did you say that? I just made it up I would, would watch that. Is that an episode, or did you say that? I just made it up. That's really good. I mean, I think, I think that, you know, I say this, but then I see shit like a foldable phone,

like whether it's like a roll-up phone, or I'll see something and I'm like, what the fuck, how is this real? No, downfall of society. So who knows? No, I mean, the folding, what are you talking about No, down from society. So who knows? No, I mean, the folding phone, what are you talking about? You didn't like the folding phone. No, they've got ones that like roll up displays.

Like that's not real. That's a fucking, I'm saying I see shit like that on the horizon and I'm like, but a roll up phone is just a phone that rolls up. You don't even mean? Sure, but then it would like fit in my pocket and I can have a big giant one that just rolled out real long. I think, um, no, that doesn't make any sense, that's not good. No, I want to be a ribbon dancer with my tweets. I never feel like I'm like, oh, I just wish

like I had some kind of like adaptable screen that could just like become from go from one size to another size. It's just like not a feeling that ever strikes me. Yeah, I will say though, having had two phones in my pocket for a while, I do end up doing the thing where I've got my laptop open and it's downloading some huge file. Then I go on my iPad and that's running a game and then I check my tweets on the other phone and then this phone pops up with a notification

and then I've got eight phones going and sometimes they think like, number one, not a great solution for anything. Am I on a healthy person? Absolutely. But number two, if there was some way to fold these all into one phone. Yeah.

Yeah. I might go for it. I might go for it. I guess so. I mean, I'm not. I don't think you're- What if this is the year we come around on the foldable phone?

I found the, I found the tweet. Oh my God. I found the one tweet. Sorry, I'm going to share this with you. I'm sure. Maybe we can put these in the post so all the viewers can see some of my favorite. Very good. I have so many, I have to say sometimes I go through my, my tweet likes and it makes me

like Twitter again because I'm like, wow, there's so much great content on Twitter. But then I'm like, oh yeah, like I've had to compile these favorites from like, like just years of shit, like piles and mountains and just, you know what I mean? It's like literally finding diamonds in. It's like you found a diamond in, um, that's how they get you. That's like the biggest,

if it's like, if it's like a statue of Liberty size dog took a shit and there's one small one-carat diamond in the shit somewhere. That's what a like on Twitter is to me. Because that's how they get you that's designed that way. I think it's just that there's a lot of bad content and not a lot of good content. And I guess that goes for everything. Yeah.

So when I went home for the holidays and I lived my full lifetime movie fantasy. I decided that I was an asshole from the city, and I fell in love with the farmer, and now we're raising kids together. I went home, and I realized there's something weird happening where we only seem to want me and my brothers at least want to talk to each other in memes, or we want to show each other a bunch of stuff,

and then just like reference it over and over and and it's sort of like we would we'd be sitting around with nothing to talk about with like something on TV and then we'd be going through our phones and then every once in a while we'd lean over and be like, oh did you see this and then watch like a vine or something and it was like like we wanted to have little displays on our stomachs and we like tell a tubbies and we can show each other like clips all the time in order to communicate and I was like I think the internet is like breaking our brains. Like we're not able to talk to each other without quoting a series of obscure things that we might have seen or not seen. And it was very weird. It was a little bit surreal. Yeah, I mean, I think that there's a lot of distraction right now.

You know, there's a lot of like things that you're like, you feel like you need to know. Like, they're not real things. Like, if you miss a joke on Twitter, it doesn't mean that like, it doesn't mean anything. You just didn't see the joke, you know? Like, yeah. Like, so Laura has basically deactivated her Twitter account. I'm like, oh, did't see the joke, you know? Like, like, so Laura has basically de-activated her Twitter account.

I'm like, oh, did you see the, I'm like, did you see the last night, like a transformer blew up in Queens, and the sky was blue for four minutes or something. John leaned over to me and said, does it smell like something's burning? And I said, no. And then a minute later, I was like,

I mean, maybe a little. So then we pulled out our phones and we were like, oh, that's how we found out was like Twitter. Yeah. Well, I'm mad because I had just, I mean, maybe a little. So then we pulled out our phones and we were like, oh, that's how we found out was like Twitter. Yeah. Well, I'm mad because I had just at that moment, the second that had happened apparently, I had discovered that Katy Perry had done a similar version of last Friday night.

And there's a video of her recording it. Jesus Christ. And I tweeted it. I was like, hello everyone. It's like, I'm have you ever seen it? No. You know what Simlish is, right? Yeah, I love it.

You brought it. Does he play the Sims? Constantly. I guess so he plays. I brought my, we need John and Laura together to talk about their love of the Sims because I'm like, I don't get it. Like, I don't know why you're,

I understand it to a degree, but then I'm like, I already have a life in a job. Josh, he made me carry my computer, like, you know that editing machine I built, that's a thousand pounds. Mimi carried that on the subway home, so he could play the Sims. And it was like a nice,

he's like, this would be the ultimate Sims machine. It was like a nice thing that I did, and I was very happy to do it, and he's thrilled about it. But when I looked at the graphics, I was like, this should could run on a microwave. Like, this game is not, like, break breaking the video card. That's not true. That's not true. The Sims is actually very hard Very hard. Yes, the Sims is a very processor intensive. I

Think it's a very processor intensive application like last civilization civilization is an app that like you can't run It was very runs runs on my iPad just fine when now it does But but there was a period where games like that were like I don't know I think I don't know Laura has talked a lot about the like the need for the Sims to have like a lot of juice Well, well then John's ready to rumble. I think it depends on I think it depends on like how big your family is or something You're really big I think it depends on how big your family is or something. You feel like that Palace of Versailles, that woman built in Florida, and you just fill it with the Kardashians,

and the things just like, weren't going crazy. Yesterday, my computer started making a screeching sound as I was putting a PS4 disc in and the disc got stuck because I turned around as I was startled. And I spent all of yesterday disassembling the most expensive things in my house sweating profusely. Okay, don't even get it. Don't even get me. I hate that we're all over the place right now, but I want to have it the PS4 for a second because I just got an external hard drive

for my PS4. It's the end of the year. There's no news talk about whatever you want. Well, I mean, there's a government shutdown in the president just like docks to a seal team and how is that any different So so I got a fucking external. I'm like finally Finally I can I'm like I've been like uninstalling games to install new games No, I'm like this is fucking nonsense. I got a four terabyte Cgate drive for $100. I just put 128 gig SD card in something and through every game before 2002 on it. I'm like, I don't even give a fuck.

I do not give a fuck, you know, like what? That drive can blow up as far as I'm concerned. I just wanna try to have all of my, I just wanna try to have all of my games in one place. You know, I wanna play No Man's Sky, I wanna sell to the C-No Man's Sky. I'm like, oh I want to play No Man's Sky, I want to see No Man's Sky, I'm like, oh, I own install No Man's Sky, and it's like 500 gigs or whatever.

No, it's not that big, but it's big. You don't want them to pull it from the store either, and then it'll be like PT, where it's gone. Yeah, right, well, don't get me started on PT. That's a whole other situation that I'm dealing with right now. It's very upsetting. But, so, okay, here's a crazy thing.

The hard drive comes with like a one-foot cable or whatever, okay? You're like, okay, fine, I'll plug it in hard drive comes with like a one foot cable or whatever, okay, you're like, okay, fine, I'll plug it in the front here, just let it sit by next to the PS4. My controller started randomly shutting off, okay. Apparently, on the PS4, if you put the hard drive too close to the console, it like causes like insane interference with the wireless control.

I don't know, RF, like I don't know, some weird shit. They're like, literally there's a thing on know, RF. Like I don't know. Some weird shit. There's literally there's a thing on the PlayStation like help center. It's like, move your hard drive far away. So I just had to buy a six foot cable for the fucking hard drive. It's like, keep your hard drive far away from your console. It's like, guys, this is crazy bad engineering. Like some of the worst engineering I've ever heard of in my entire life.

If I plug an external fucking third party hard drive into the, like, it's not even a Wi-Fi drive or something. It's a completely innocuous, like, is it something with a magnetic or something? I have no idea. But it was like, literally, like, I was like, why is the controller shutting off suddenly? And then I started like reading forms. And people were like, everybody was having the same problem.

And then there's like an article on the, anyhow. So, this is obviously, this is obviously unrelated to literally whatever it is the fuck we were talking about. But yeah, there's technology. Technology hit it. This is our black mirror. I didn't see it really. It really, it really, really is.

At any rate, so there's a new black mirror movie. And John said, it's called Bander Snatch. Yes. Is Bander Snatch related to, is it like Bander Pump? Is it like something like that? No, it's not. It's based on a game that was developed and never came out in the UK. Please, no spoilers.

I'm not quite. I think that's fake. That's a lie. No, no, that's like a meta thing. No, I think in real life It's based on a game that didn't come out and that sounds like a lie I Don't think so John Google that while we were watching well Maybe he googled it. Maybe he got into the black mirror Google page

I think it was for the ZX spectrum or whatever that was like a computer. Oh the CX spectrum. Yeah, yeah anyway, so computer. Oh, the CX Spectrum. Yeah. Yeah. Go. Anyway. So it's based on like that. And which is based on a book, which might or may not be real. And then it's like a choose your adventure story about this guy developing the game. Oh, interesting. It's like a choose your own adventure game and you're choosing your own adventures the developer. Oh I love it. I love it. Maybe I can't tell I Think they actually put the a version of the game out For you to or maybe it's I don't know I'm trying to think if they put out a version of the game as like a What's it called?

A, like, promotional thing? What do you mean? Like, I think they might have put a version of the game out. Um, yeah, there's a game called, oh, well, this is an actual game that was out, which was uh, called Bretacus, which is there are remains of the much-type to vaporware project band or stanch, stanch by Imagine Software. So it was a real game that existed at some point. Maybe we're not a planet.

That's a planet. Okay, hold on. I'm just going to... A plant in Wikipedia means? Yes, yes, yes. What someone just go on the internet and lie? Yes, this is very definitely a... Let's see, let me disambiguate this.

Yep, definitely fake. This is all fake. That had his fake. This is fake. This is all fake. That ad is fake. This is fake. This is a fake entry. Oh yeah, you can go to an actual Tuckersoft games website and play a game. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no A Wikipedia page, you think they'd get in trouble? With who? They probably paid Wikipedia. It's probably a sponsored ad thing, you know?

Let me tell you, hold on. Oh, Signosis did this? Signosis is the shit. Yeah, and I know. I know. I know. Reviews from 1986. And... Wow.

This is the Black Mirror episode. I'm trying to figure this shit out. I'll be honest with you. I'll be honest with you as a guy who is very familiar with the Signos' catalog and also very skeptical that the Bander Snatch was actually a game that somehow been turned into a Choose Your An Adventure movie.

I don't know, the Black Mirror Interactive Film Bander Snatch released in 2018, a loot to imagine software and the failed work to produce Banner Snatch. The film starts on 9 July 1984, The date of Imagine's closure includes a shot of the cover of Crash reporting on the closure. This is good stuff, but I also feel like something funny is going on. This is fucking with my brain and you know what? Then you know what? Charlie Lerker, he's done it again. Because this is because the reality we can see. Because it's not Charlie Booker, Booker, Booker, whatever it is.

It is the reality that we actually live in, which is again, congrats and kudos to him. The whole internet is fake. Reflecting it. But we are living in the age of, look, look. We, okay, years ago when we were at N Gadget, Laura and I, I mean, they mostly Laura stumbled on this guy who was like a security expert and was like,

you'd find like, you'd see his name in places and it's like, somehow, I don't know how he came onto our radar and he's like, oh, he's like, he's like, head of the, you know, international security relations council or whatever. And it's like, oh, wow, okay, this guy's like, he's like, head of the, you know, international, um, um, security relations council or whatever. And it's like, oh, wow. Okay. This guy's like, he's like a real deal. And he's like, oh, he's like this and that. Um, and all of his stuff, all of his credentials, everything was like, basically a weird, like, house of cards where he had created his own, he created his own center for software security or something. And that was like a fake business that he was the only person who worked at.

But it looked in felt like if you looked at the website, it looked like a very serious think tank or whatever. And then he had all of these credentials. And he had things like he was nominated for a Nobel Prize or something. It's not nominated. He was some kind of thing that you can't actually be for a Nobel Prize or something. It's not nominated. He was some kind of thing that you can't actually be for a Nobel. It's not nominated, but something like that.

And so it turned out he's an entire career. And he wrote for CNN and all these places. And it was fairly well-circulated. They were all inventions based on things that he, it was all a mountain of fake stuff that he'd created to like be someone else on the internet. And I think that like a lot of the internet is like that. You know, it's like, it's like how Mike Surnavitch

is like, he's like, I'm an investigator or something like that, you know, and it's like, no, you're not, you're just a troll who got popular by spreading lies and now you're like, I'm a security expert. It's like, you're not. You're just a troll who got popular by spreading lies. And now you're like, I'm a security expert. It's like, you're not a fucking secure. There's a guy that we did a story on, we did a story on, what is it called?

It's called, Islamburg, which is in upstate New York. We did a story on Islamburg, which is in upstate New York. We did a story on islamberg, which is in upstate New York, which is like a community of Muslims living in upstate New York. And it's like, it's with a story we did is called real American terrorists. And it's about all of these like kind of white supremacists

and these people who sort of are like, these people are terrorists, but they're actually not, they're like completely peaceful Muslims living apart from essentially like the rest of society. And so as a result, there's all these like white races who are like, they're bad terrorists, but actually like the white people are the terrorists. Like literally, they try to like,

try to like blow up, is Lamberg, like literally people went to jail for it. But there's like, there's a guy who goes on, on Fox News, who is the same kind of person that's like, he basically, his credentials are like, in companies that he invented. His experience in education is an invention. He didn't go to school for the things he said he went to school for.

The school that he says he went to are not real schools. And he goes on Fox News all the time. But don't you think that this is a function of like that this guy has always existed in history, but because we can now investigate the places that don't exist. Yes. I mean, to the public farms and like the fake companies. I think I think both things are true. I think it's like, on man has always existed.

I think there's I think there is there is existed. I think there is, I think there is, there is a, there is truth to that that there have always been grifters in common who just have invented their history. Like the talent that Mr. Ripley today would be on, but the talent, but the talent of Mr. Ripley is of more fiction. Now, I'm sure there are people like that, of course, but, but now I think Mr. Ripley, I'd like to welcome you to the, the round table on Islamophobia. It's like, it's a more widespread now now I think Sir Ripley, I'd like to welcome you to the round table on his lommophobia. It's like, it's a more widespread now, I think, because the internet has made it so much,

yes, it's made it easier to look and discover, but most people don't do that. It's made it much, much easier to kind of, to depict yourself as having kind of an outsized presence, you know? I mean, literally, New York Magazine, Max Reed just did this great story for New York Magazine about how everything is like fake on the internet, like all the numbers are fake, like the view counts are fake, the time spent is fake, like the number of followers is fake, all of this shit. And it's like, it is true. It is fucking true that like the, when people are like, we do 40 million unique some of that's like like yeah, but like Maybe half of that or more might be complete garbage, right? Yeah, it's like it's like it's like what is your real audience?

What is the real truth about how many followers you have like who is really like engaging with this stuff? You know, I mean yes, there are people with huge followings that are like legitimate, but There are a lot of people that are just or a lot of things that are just propped up by the systems that we've designed and by, you know. I mean, somebody tweeted a response to the Max Read thing and they were like, oh yeah, my mind is blown when I saw this Chinese farm, like view farm. And it's literally like a room full of phones playing the same video, like thousands of phones playing the same video to like, a crew of views on it. So anyhow, Bander's natural rules. Anyhow, Bander's natural rules, nothing is real.

Charlie Brooker isn't the best writer, but he blew my mind. So. So your senior mind was blown by this story. Or just by the fact that I'm telling you that this entry for this. This the entry thing. The thing itself was okay. It made me mostly mean to me mad because I had a better story that I'm like,

fuck, I want to do this. But I have to say like, I'm excited that Netflix is doing something different that you couldn't do with regular TV because for a long time, Netflix wasn't even acknowledging that by binging a show that made a show worse Like if you don't need to have an overarching plot for every episode because people are just gonna go to right to the next one You remove the whole monster of the week angle

Which is what made like buffy so great or aliah so great like the case of the week thing is the point of having individual episodes as opposed to just a 16 hour movie you could pause at any point right And I think Netflix took a really long time to acknowledge that that was hurting its shows, and that it wasn't, or not acknowledging that was hurting its shows. If you want to make a 16 hour movie, that's fine. You just have to make a really good 6-star movie, instead of padding with four extra episodes in the middle and then pretending that an episode came to a close,

even though everyone was just going to click an next episode. Like that whole thing was to act like they weren't making people sit for 16 hours, which is exactly what we're all doing. And I like that they're doing something that's different with their platform that TV can't do because they can. And there should be a whole variety of ways

to interact with your content or to tell stories in different ways on that platform or any platform that isn't just straight up sitting down and watching and then clicking skip at at some point. Like, I don't know. I really like that they're doing that and that they're getting into that area, especially for like kids shows. Like, it's taking them a long time to make a version of Blues Clues, where Steve asks the TV and then the kids can actually like put in the answer and then they get a result. Like, that was on Nickelodeon in the 90s Why does that exist? I mean you couldn't touch the TV what would happen was Steve would ask you an answer

You'd say something and he'd give you a neutral response, but kids don't really know that they're He adored those that like Zalto watches Dora like why doesn't Netflix have a version with two buttons and they're bright I think I think they should do it. They should do they might be doing it now But I'm just saying like it. They should do. They might be doing it now, but I'm just saying it took so long to do that, and I do think there's a variety of ways to interact with content on Netflix that's mostly passive or whatever,

and I'm really excited that they're getting there. This was pretty good, and I had fun watching it. It wasn't the ultimate ever, but I don't know, I thought it was pretty neat, and I would say go watch it if you have a spare hour to click your remote. Seems like this game is real. I'm still suspicious.

Like the wonderful thing is we live in a time where who can say, well, this is what's so crazy is like what's amazing. And again, like credit to the Black Mirror. Have you played my new favorite game, Polybias? It drives you insane. What is it? What is it?

I was kidding. That fictional game, Polybius, that like it's like the men in black came and they took it away. The government developed it. You never heard about this? No, I've never heard about this. You never heard the urban legend of Polybius? It sounds amazing.

Okay, Polybius was this game that, it was like the 90s, there was this rumor that there was an arcade game that the CIA created to program people and that it showed up at a mall and that it would cause people to have seizures and get addicted to it and they couldn't stop playing it. So then the government came in and took it away. And on the internet, people have been trying to prove

that it existed for like ever. But it's always like a hoax or something that like, you know, and there's like fake screenshots, but in fact, they're mashed to get these screenshots of something else. Someone leaks code and it's like, but there's something weird about the code and like, this is like a whole rabbit hole that goes really deep.

Eventually, people started making their own versions of the game that like, like, fan versions or unofficial, whatever. And they've made, there's been TV shows about it. It's this game that like, like fan versions or unofficial, whatever. And they've made, there's been TV shows about it. It's this game that doesn't exist. I'm looking at it now. Is it sick? This is so good.

Polybias rocks. This is so good. This is an amazing, this is the best thing I've seen. Right? I've watched hour long documentaries about Puebius. And guess what, it definitely never existed, but it's created this whole culture. British filmmaker and video game journalist

Stuart Brown after his investigation of the legend's origin did not find any evidence of the Puebius myth existed until the year 2000. He concluded that Puebius was an international hoax made by Kurt Kohler, owner of coinop.org, in order to drive traffic to his website, which by the way, is the entire internet. Like I think bringing us full circle, bringing us full circle, it's like, it's a hoax created to drive traffic to your website.

I mean, it's like, what's her name, the conspiracy theorist on Twitter? I don't know. Pamela is a PlayStation VR who, Laura Lumer. Oh no. No. The other one. You know what I'm talking about. She followed me on Twitter at some point.

I had to block her. She's the one with the, she's the one with the, who's like friends with Milo, right? She's, yeah, yeah, yeah. What's her name? It's like, it's like, I mean, she wants us to say her name so bad to me like Lucy badder snatch no, yeah, she's some kind of British like British British. What is her name? It's it's not New York right now people right now the people screaming at their speakers or their head either your buds What is your fucking name? It's like

Oh, oh, oh, it's like Lisa Eldrich. Laura Eldrich, like, it's something like that. I, it's not Lisa Eldrich, Lisa Eldrich is a makeup artist. Oh, is it really? Yeah, Laura. It's like Laura. Louise Munch.

Louise Munch. Yes, very good, very good. Can we talk about speaking of crazy conspiracy theories since we're talking about it? When are we not? Can we talk about this Alice Walker situation? Oh yeah, how she's super into David Ike. I'm, okay.

I've talked about David Ike a billion times. A billion times on this podcast. I'm literally the only person who's talking about David Ike at America. Yeah, I feel like, I feel like if I I feel like if I could think of a single day in having seen you in person and David Ike didn't come up, I would be owed a million dollars. David Ike is always on my mind because his book,

he wrote a book called, Brain of a Good, he wrote a book called The Biggest Secret, which is like, it's so good because the biggest secret is like all of the classic conspiracy theories bundled into this like incredibly, it's like all of the things that like that that Alex, it is the Bible is the Alex Jones Bible. If Alex Jones can be said to have had some source material, it's something like the biggest secret, okay? And um, it's something like the biggest secret, okay? And fucking Alice Walker, who's like a beloved author,

who wrote the color purple, okay? In the New York Times, they're like, what are you reading? And she's like, oh, I'm reading, and the truth shall set you free. She's nice, but I mean, she's into David Eike. I mean, she literally isn't like, oh, I heard about this book I saw it or whatever. She's like, is like in to David Ike.

I mean, David Ike is like this anti-Semite has all the secrets, the biggest secret you can- David Ike is like completely just like, just the rip-court has been pulled on David Ike. I mean, it's not even remote. He's not even the remote vicinity of like verifiably, like he's verifiably insane. The shit he writes about,

he's not insane because it's all bullshit, and he's probably knows he's lying, but it is like in the realm of total fantasy. I mean, it's like, Pepe Silvia, like what with lizard people? I mean, he literally is like, it's QAnon plus.

It makes QAnon like tame and simple by comparison. It makes a little scene. I mean, it is actually the foundation for QAnon and for all of the pedophilia stuff, all of the stuff that the right, these alt-right people are obsessed with that which is like It's like child fucking you know, which is weird enough itself David Ike is like one of the I'd say He's like the fucking one of the foundational

He's one of the pillars of that whole school of thought I mean in the biggest secret he talks about these like black magic sex rituals that all the presidents of the United States engage in together. He literally has scenes where like George H. W. Bush and Bill Clinton are like fucking kids together because they use the children through some like black magic ritual to like store secrets in. Okay. And then like they literally turn into lizards literally not like in a literally turn into lizards, literally, not like in a, not a figurative way. They're not like a spiritual way. They literally be probably.

They morph into, like all of the shit on YouTube is it's like from David Ike's book. Like if that stuff, if the fucking YouTube lizard people, people have a fucking source, it is David Ike essentially. And so the idea that, I mean, listen, who fucking, I mean, so the idea that the, I mean, listen, who fucking, I mean, she wrote the color purple, I mean, she's a good writer, whatever. Like, obviously she's insane. Like, you can be insane and also a good writer. That's fair, you know, most people, most good writers are. Yeah. You know, but it's like, David

Ike is like the lowest of the low. It's not even the vicinity of real. It's not even close to something that makes sense. It is like, it's not Saturday. Total nonsense. I mean, he says there's a network of tunnels that literally a network of tunnels underneath the fucking crust of the earth where the lizards like travel through

to have secret meetings. I mean, well, I was to say there aren't. But you say there aren't. Importantly, importantly, I think, and perhaps like perhaps tying it all together, Ike is a massive anti-Semite who, I mean, who isn't? Who said the Holocaust didn't happen

or or and or the Jews funded the Holocaust? She doesn't think he's anti-Semitic. She wrote a fucking response, and this is incredible. I'm sorry, I'm just like catching up on all of this. She wrote a response, which is in Comic Sans, by the way, which I think is really good on her website, Alice Walker's Garden.com. How does she defend this? She says that she finds his work to be very important to humanity's conversation, especially at this time. She doesn't believe he's anti-Semitic or Jewish.

Or anti-Sar anti-Jewish. She does believe he's brave enough to ask the questions that others fear to ask. Like, did Jews pay for the Holocaust? They pay for the Holocaust to happen. And did they also fake it because the Holocaust is unreal. And also like, are all the presidents lizard people who have sex with children to store their secrets

and then travel through a network of tunnels under the surface of the planet. I think there's a lot of reasonable questions that need to be asked at this time. Yeah. It is too late in the day of our planet not to consider everyone's opinion. No, wrong.

No, I think it actually is late enough that we should not be considered everyone's opinion. That's what I think. I think there's a lot of opinions that don't need to be considered. I'm sorry to break it to everybody. Sorry to break it to Alice Walker. Like, I'm by the way,

you're free to fucking not consider my opinion. Be, be, have at it. But like, I think we all should start to agree, at least a little bit on opinions that can be dismissed. You know, like when people like the Holocaust didn't happen, it's like, I think you lose your chance to argue about anything else as far as I'm concerned. Because there is more than enough evidence

that the Holocaust happened. I mean, just tunnels under the Earth alone. It's like that. No, no, no, I'm open to. I'll tell you what, I'm more open to the presidents or fucking shapeshifting lizard people than I am to the Holocaust didn't happen. Because at least I could be, I'm open to the possibility

that there's not everything we know about humanity and the cosmos and the presidents. Maybe they are shape-shifting reptiles. I mean, you're insane and stupid if you ask that question. But I will entertain that conversation more than I would entertain the, maybe the Holocaust didn't happen conversation. You know what I mean? Mm-hmm.

Because it doesn't implicate whole groups of already, like persecuted people. But also like it's harder to just prove it away. You know, like, I guess, like, I guess you're like, it's like you saying, like if you're like, you know Obama was a vampire. I'm like, well, I've never seen any evidence that he was a vampire, nor have I seen any evidence

that vampires are a real thing. And yet, it is possible the lack of evidence, right? This is the, this is like, let me go. This is how everybody, everybody in the God zone. You disprove it. And then, that's my proof is that you can. You're like, God exists, he does miracles. And I'm like, well, that doesn't seem right to me.

But then on the other hand, on the other hand, I can't exactly be like, here's God's body, he's dead, it's all settled, or whatever. So now we're in this zone where you can make an argument that he's a fucking he or she or it or whatever. They are a creature that I just can't perceive, you know, in some way, and and sure you've got an argument less of an argument And if you're like the Holocaust didn't happen Hitler was made up because like there's photos and piles of bodies and like people tattoos on their fucking wrists

Anyhow it's a very happy well in other news Iggy is Ali has threatening suicide on Instagram. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. I'm sorry. Have you seen the video, the Iggy Azalea video? I did see it.

Okay. It's fucked up. I mean, it's kind of like on the one hand, it's like, okay, this is maybe I'm going to get, I don't want to get like destroyed. Get some context of people. Okay. There is a video where Iggy Azalea is performing in I don't know where she is Brazil

Sure, I don't know. Let's say Brazil. She's performing. I think it's not in America. Come to Brazil She um One of her dancers starts having a seizure on stage apparently in the background her backing backup dancer And she keeps performing and like other dancers like rush I'm sorry. I'm not laughing at it. It's just it is actually so it's so deranged and weird that it's like hard to not laugh at it It's not because it's funny. It's actually very serious and sad like a person was having you know And I don't know the status of the dancer. I don't know how they're doing or whatever, but she keeps performing like

You know a raunchy rap song. Well, other persons having a, like, you know, I remember me, I would just, if I saw it happening, I'd be like, hey, one of my dancers is in trouble. You know what, it's not more important than the song. You know, I'm gonna stop the show. You think, you would think,

but I kind of feel bad for her because it does get ingrained into these people that like the show goes on no matter what I'm doing. Well, this is what I was gonna say is that Iggy Zalia is a, I mean, I hate to say this, but Iggy Zalia is like a, like a Mary Annette, okay? Yeah. I don't think she's like a fully realized human being.

I think that Iggy Zalia is like an amalgamation of lots of different people's ideas about a person. She's a marketing team, she's a pop star. Yeah, yeah, or something. I don't know what they developed, but they developed in New Zealand. And like there's a sadness to that. There's actually like a really,

there's actually something really tragic about that. And I think like we've seen that played out over and over again, particularly around female pop stars. And it's actually really sad and like sort of disease process that happens in entertainment that should be rooted out and like destroyed. But, I mean, it also gave us Ariana Grande. So on the other hand, you know, who knows?

I totally agree. And then I put on blackout by Brittany Spears where she literally had a mental breakdown because of this, it's my favorite album. Right. Right. No, it's a point counterpoint. You know what I'm saying?

Like, we need to take in everybody's opinion. Yeah, but like, but so it usually is like, they're like, fucking keep going, right? It's like when once your face was started dancing to the backing track, Ashley Simpson. Yeah, you know, they tell you not to stop no matter what. Yes, I mean, whatever, it's different, but like, so I'm not saying like, you know,

let's have sympathy for Iggy. Iggy's been through a lot, okay. She has been doing like blackface for six or seven years and people are really mad about it. I mean, there is. What am I gonna do? Cause like, that's my thing. But here's the thing I feel really bad for her

and Pete Davidson because I don't think that you. Wow, that's my thing. But here's the thing. I feel really bad for her and Pete Davidson, because I don't think that you're all over the place. What do Pete Davidson do? I mean, he's threatened to kill himself on Instagram. No, that's well reason. Oh, oh, oh, oh, she's like serious. I mean, she said on, she, she was pretty serious. She was like, I can't take this anymore.

And I think at a certain point, these people didn't set out to herd anybody and like they've done really problematic stuff and that's totally fair, but the amount that they get in response, driving them to literal insanity because mostly it's teenagers coming after these people. They do actually have a lot of sympathy for,

I mean, it's like the Tubby public, oh, so you were publicly shamed or whatever that John Ronson book. Like it is what you get back from that is so overwhelming and hard, especially nowadays, like you can't look at your phone without having people tell you to kill yourself. No, this is like really hard. The year of the dunk, this is like, this is, that's that. I mean, imagine, look, I'm not saying, like,

it is really as a human being. Now, like, she's surrounded by people who tell her that the thing she's doing are right. Now, right or wrong, love her, hate it, whatever. Like, she literally is, you know, she's surrounded by people who've helped her to build a career. And a career she has had. I mean, she definitely has made a lot of money and a lot of people love her.

And a lot of the people that are around her say, this is great, you should do that. This is really fun, this is interesting. We love the way this sounds, this is gonna be a big hit. It's really figured it out. She's not, she's not her own person in the sense that she's just doing everything, like her own free will, she's all being driven

by her creativity. No, she answers to a label and producers, and that's a trade off that these pop stars make. And I can't pretend to know the details of it. I just know how these systems work. I have a pretty good idea of how the systems work. And so we should have sympathy for her. I mean, we shouldn't, but on the other hand,

I mean, on the other hand, it's not hard to go wait. I'm also a person and I'm gonna let my, I'm gonna let my personhood override my like career like realities or my career like issues or whatever. Like there are, there's a time to be career driven and ignore the stuff that's going on around you and there's a time to be really like, okay, I gotta, I'm gonna stop the show because one of my dancers is having a seizure, you know? Like, and you can fight with me.

I mean, let's say in the moment, I would have made a completely different choice, but. I don't know, I'm trying to think like, you know, maybe she had a friend have a seizure on stage. I mean, maybe she didn't know, but maybe she didn't know what was going on. Like, I don't know what was, I don't know what her awareness of what was happened. You know, I'm like, I'm not trying to make excuses, but it is possible.

She thought, like, oh, maybe he fell down and like hurt his ankle and they'll take him off stage. Yeah. You know, or her, I don't, I mean, I don't remember because like the video is kind of low quality. So the person's on the ground, but it's very possible. She was like, oh, something twisted their ankle and they'll probably like come and grab. And there's like medics here. They'll come and grab them. So I'm going to keep going. You know, like, but the's very possible she was like, oh, something twisted their ankle, and they'll probably come and grab, and there's like medics here, they'll come and grab them. So I'm gonna keep going, you know. Yeah. But the internet wants it to be like,

Iggy is ill, he has a heartless bitch, who doesn't care about her dancers, and one of them, what happened. And one funny video, but that's not what happened. Yeah, it's like, one of them is really up, like, is sick, and she didn't even stop to turn around and see if they were okay. It's like, there's a lot more going on, you know,

and I think like, I think, and it's like, have you ever performed on a stage, you have no idea what. It's like, there's a lot more going on. And I think like, I think that it's like, have you ever performed on a stage? You have no idea what's happening. No, it's overwhelming. It's overwhelming. It's overwhelming. And I don't. I don't.

I don't. I have had someone have a seizure while I was on stage. They were in the wings. I wasn't like there with them. But I had to sort of pause for a second, look over, make sure people were with them and then keep going. Like, there's not a lot you can do.

Yeah. I mean, so like the thing is, and by the way, it is overwhelming. I mean, when you're, I mean, I'm not in any way comparing myself to Iggy's. But when you're an international pop star, like Josh or Iggy's. Yeah, yeah. But I feel like when I DJ, you know, I would go

and I'd play, like I've played to crowds of like a few thousand people, not massive, but like large crowds. And it's like overwhelming when you're like, oh shit, if I fell, it bumped the record right now. The music would stop and a thousand people would be a riot. A thousand people would be really unhappy.

It's just little things. I hope I don't drip sweat onto the turntable and the fucking, this is when people use real turntables because I'm old. But I hope the needle doesn't go sliding off the record or wherever and it's just like weird little pressures that you never imagine. Yeah.

So weirdly, I saw the video, I'm like, oh my God, but it's also, oh my God for everybody. It's like it sucks for the person who's having the seizure, it's horrible. It sucks for Iggy Azalea who probably didn't know what to do in the moment and did did whatever her like trainers or her like Managers tell her to do which is like keep going no matter what and it sucks of the internet Can't there's no such thing as a subtle view anymore because yeah

There's no way to be like oh my god look at this video. This is crazy You have to have like fuck her or you know this is my like who I'm insulting It's like we have to decide who's who's a winner and who's a loser who's who's good team and who's bad team when things are just notable Yeah, and or just like wow this is fucking an insane situation and what a horrible weird Did you ever see that video of Beyonce fell down the stairs? She was performing ring the alarm She tripped on a on a heel slid down the stairs got back up and kept Performing no because that part of the song is pre-recorded because she's moving so much, it became a whole thing.

It was like, look Beyonce lip syncs. It's like, yeah, in specific circumstances, everybody does. It's just like when she lip synced a performance for Obama that was outdoors. It's like, you can't capture good audio outdoors. It's just, you have to lip sync when you do a parade. That's it, sorry.

There's no way to do it. But if it had been nowadays, people would have found the set designer or the shoemaker and come for their head. And been like, you tried to kill our queen. Beyonce was attacked by this person who made a crappy shoe. And they would have been doxed and like meamed.

And it's like, guys, at the end of the day, she tripped. It's not like, you know? Yeah. It's like, everything goes so hard and so far. It's like, it's like, again, it goes back to that thing we're talking about, which is like, everybody wants a dunk. And it's like everything goes so hard and so far. It's like it's like it's like again It goes back to that thing we're talking about which is like everybody wants a dunk and it's like dunk culture sucks It sucks. Dunk culture is like is like a really shitty way to live It's like whoever can get the you know

It's like listen when you're with your friends and you know if you if you have a relationship with your friends And a lot of people do where they love to make fun of each other. That's right. Yeah, that's fine. You troll people. My brother and I, we make jokes about each other. You really, brother. Bust each other's chops as my dad says.

No, I mean, it's like, you know, the other day we had a wedding at our house and I gave a toast and then I was talking to my friend Andrew and I was like, did it, was that okay? And he was like, he was like, yeah, it was a classic Josh toast. And I was like, what was that? What was that mean? Like, I don't know if it's good or bad. Like, I felt like, okay, he's f**king with me, you know, which is fine. But like, I fuck with you all the time. Is this the same thing? All the time. It's very upsetting. And frankly, I feel like you are triggering me right now. But it's only because we're like, when you're in an equal position of power with somebody and you're joking around, and it's just like a slight, like little, like

ribbing or whatever, it's like, it's like funny. Like when people tell me I'm loud, it's, it's like a, I know I'm loud, they know I'm loud, it's not shade. It's a secret. You're very loud. True. Like, that is what it is. Right there. Right there. You see what I did? Anyhow, so the point is like, let's mourn the death of subtlety, I think, because that's a really bad thing. Now, can we talk about some Chris with presence or something happy? I want to end this on an upbeat note. Before we get into this, have you seen this tweet, by the way? It's the greatest, one of the greatest tweets of all time. So I have a...

Amy C. Elizabeth tweeted, how the fuck did my L.A.S.I.S. I was looked to my right and I see the Hollywood sign if she hopped off the plane at LAX. A cab can only drive east from the airport and the sign north of the airport and facing south it would have been to her left wake up sheep. It's so good. I mean you're familiar with the song party in the USA. Oh, yeah. I heard it. Oh, God. Okay. Anyhow. Can I change a song? What's that?

So what'd you do for Christmas? Well, we had a great Christmas. What'd you do for Christmas? Wow. It's extremely. Andy's about to extremely uncool. Should I start wearing caps? I just found a little picture of me wearing a hat.

Are you going to be a hat guy? I'll be honest with you. I had an idea. You're going to be a hat guy. I of me wearing a hat. You're gonna be a hat guy? I'll be honest with you, I had no idea. You're gonna turn it to the side and then turn your chair around and sit down in front of the office and say, now guys, I'm not your regular kind of CEO. I'm gonna talk to you on your level. I had a streetwear concept that I a street wear concept that I feel sort of strongly that I want to do. You're going to make some Tweety Bird merch, but Tweety Bird is like urban.

No. No, it's like stuff that isn't really streetwear that I think Warren the right way could be streetwear. Like a guilt? I'm not going to get into it on the podcast, but let's just say that something, you may see something, you may see something from me in the near future.

So many merch collabs come to the service on this podcast. A collabos. Happy other podcast. Well, let's say Tupulski X and then another brand. I hope it says. Tupulski X, you know, 2019, coming 2019. It's the ex, ex supreme 2019. No, no, it's something very different.

Okay, something very different. Anyhow, Christmas is good. We had a very chill holiday here. We went to see, oh, we went to see on Christmas Eve, which is a Jewish tradition. We went to see a movie and eat Chinese food. We went to see Mary Pop and eat Chinese food. We went to see Mary Poppins returns with Zelda. Zelda is four and three quarters as she's like she likes to say her

birthdays in February. She'll be five in February. We went into see Mary Poppins returns at four o'clock. Actually, we got to the theater at about three. I want to say the movie started at four or fifteen. We got to the theater. I want to to say 330 345. Let's just say we were in our seats by like Let's just say 345 we were in our seats, okay? They did about 10 minutes 15 minutes of commercials. No, I'm sorry. They did commercials up until 415 You had a 415 so for their year standard code likely a half an hour. Let's call 20 minutes maybe. You might be a little bit late. Maria Menuno tells you about upcoming project.

At the end of the commercials, they had a commercial for the commercials. They were like, did you catch all these commercials? I'm like, this is fucking out. Remember when Maria Menuno told you about Subaru 15 seconds ago? She's doing it again now. Like, did you catch the Subaru challenge? It's like, yes, I'm good on the Subaru challenge. I'm gonna pour ice water on somebody

and then I get a discount on my Subaru, I get a drive-off discount on my Subaru, out of your logo Subaru dealer. By the way, Subaru great automaker. We have a now back to wonderful car. This is on an endorsement. I'm just saying it's a good car. Well, you know what makes the Subaru a Subaru?

It's that Lesbian's like it? No, it's love. What do you say? So yes, love and love. There's an article like a few years ago, this like, like sales amongst lesbians, you know, he's like for Subaru is really. Oh, I believe that. I believe that is the same thing with VW Beatles and gay men who live like on a coast. That's the only people buying VW Beatles. That's Shawn wants one so bad. I like the sounds. I'd love to see you guys cruise in a Beetle.

Anyhow. If that's what he wants to buy next year. VW makes a great car except for the emission scandal. Other than that, very good car. And you know, the company was started by Hitler. My first car was a VW, was a fuck you to Hitler, really. It was me reclaiming the car for the Jews. Listen, we've all owned a jet at some point.

I had, I did own a jet. I also had a golf. My brother had a shot. I love the golf. We've all owned a jet at some point. I had, I did on a jet. I also had a golf. My brother had a job. I love the golf. He has great car. My first car was 1985, 1985, Navy Blue Golf, which was a complete lemon. I mean, the old DWs were garbage.

I mean, they were like truly bad cars. Okay, let me get back to what I was saying. What was they talking about? You were saying you were driving a Subaru. Oh, it's a very prop and return. It's a very prop and return. It's a very prop and return. So you said, like, 20, 30 minutes of commercials.

Then, this is the first time I live. You know, I love trailers. You do. I love trailers. You're the first... You are passionate. You own you URLs for trailer projects. There were 15 minutes solid of trailers.

I kept going, like, 15 minutes solid of trailers. I kept going like, they've got to Ed. I was like, Zelda's got a bail. She's already been here, like, it's been like 45 minutes of nothing. They can't expect to get into that. I've heard waiting for the movie to start. We got there admittedly, we got there a little bit early

because I was worried about getting seats. There was nobody in the theater, it was dead empty, it's fucking Christmas Eve. Yeah, I'm like, we gotta get there fat. You know, the Jews are gonna be out. It's like there were no Jews there. It was me, it was us in like seven other people. At any rate, she, so we was 15 minutes of trailers.

You gotta say, wonder park looks really fun. All kids' trailers, basically. We sat through Mary Poppins Returns. The movie is two hours and it's like over two hours, two, 15, maybe, two, 10. And I'm sure none of that could have been cut. None of that. She sat wrapped.

Really did not fucking budge. Did not budge. The entire, she sat for a while, she was sitting in her own seat and then she wanted to sit on my lap. And we sat probably for an hour and 50 minutes straight with her on my lap watching the movie and she fucking loved it.

And I gotta tell you, it's an extremely entertaining movie. I mean, I'll say this, if you're not a Lin-Man Well fan, you will not enjoy Mary Poppins returns. It's kind of like Lynn Manuel Miranda returns with a Lynn Manuel Miranda presents Emily Brun in a Disney product. There's a lot of Lynn Manuel. I mean, I would say my only gripe is there's

a little too much Lynn Manuel. Like I like it. He's fine. That was my note for Hamilton. Yeah, it's fine. He's good. He's very charming. I love him. He's great. He's very charming. I love him.

He's great. Incredible singer, dancer, actor. He does his cockney acts in the movie. It's like pretty bad. It's pretty fake. He's like, oh, where are you trying? What's going on now, Mary Poppins? It's like that.

It's like my version. I don't know much to the original movie. Maybe. I don't know. I'll tell you one thing. I'll tell you one thing. I'll tell you one thing. I'll tell you one thing. I don't wanna spoil it for anybody, but if you go see this movie,

I got one thing to say and really, you'll really fucking see it. And I think if when you see it, you can't unsee it. Mary Poppins is nice it, okay? And there's a lot of weird fucking like it related crossover shit that is like very weird to me very weird including but not limited to a young boy named Georgie chasing after something in a rainstorm and also a red balloon moment that is extremely specific wow it is actually fucking crazy also Mary Poppins comes off as extremely supernatural

in the film, like very much. I mean, she does have magical power. No, no, no, no. She's like a godlike creature. That is my impression of, I've never seen the original Mary Poppins. Oh, you've never seen Mary Poppins? My impression of this Mary Poppins

is that she is a god creature. Yeah, well, that's what she is in the original. She's like an omnipresenter. Well, I'm just saying it's fucking weird. It's weird. It's weirdly dark. It's a dark film. And, well, that's what she is in the original. She's like an unwed- Well, I'm just saying, it's fucking weird. It's weird. It's weirdly dark. It's a dark film.

Anyhow, Zelda fucking loved it. She absolutely fucking loved it. And I guess I enjoyed it too. I maybe shed a tear a couple of times. Oh, it's very Disney. It's very, very poppins. If the money I know, it's pop. Well, then he has been doing their best

to do their own version of patting tin for a while. And Winnie the Pooh didn't hit right. So maybe this is there. I don't know. I really end it. I mean, I just gotta say that, uh, let pattington host the Oscars. That's what I have to say. I gotta say, yeah, I don't care who I see. I fuck the Oscars. I don't I'm fucking overworship. So, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, Actually, I got the third volume of League of External Gender Gentlemen called Century, which I've been wanting to read for a long time, which Jeremy Gordon our culture editor and I have been talking about a lot. And Mary Poppins is in it, apparently, as a major character.

And so I was very excited to get it. And I also got, Laura got me a set of very fancy candles. Cause I'm very, I'm trying to, I'm like going through, I'm like very into candles lately. Every year my mom gets me a candle to burn for probably the rest of the year cause I only burn it like months a week. And we have a lot of candles, but I only burn them every couple of times a week maybe.

And I didn't get one this year. So I called my, I called my mom and when I got home and said I never got my candle and she said, oh, I did get you a candle. What made you think of that? I watched a video on YouTube where Sophia and I guard, but every single candle they sell at Path and Body Works took a tiny scoop out of all of them, mixed them together and made one super franken candle. Oh my god. It smells like everything in Path and Body Works and tried to figure out what it smelled like. And it was very funny and good and very great. And I made me want

to candle so bad. So then when John went out, because John was sick on Christmas even, Christmas. So he went out the day after to see his family. And he brought back my candle. And I have been huffing it like as if I was gonna get high off of it. I love a bath and body works candle. Candles are great. It was, we got to tell a lot of stuff. We got her, we made, I got her a toolkit of like actual sustainally makes like Stanley Junior Tools,

like a tiny hammer, like a real hammer and a small saw. And like, did I ever talk about this? Maybe I did. I mean, we talked about it last week. But anyhow, I got her a toolkit. We've already used it to fix things, which is amazing. And she loved it. And we made her an Explorer kit,

which has like a real compass and a magnifying glass and a pair of binoculars and like a notebook. And we put it in this like little box that we got that you can like, you know, it's like a, it's like a little like suit casing carry around. It looks like kind of an old timey suitcase. And you know, I don't know, it's just like adventuring stuff. And we made her a thing and explore ID, like an official explorer ID, like her. I don't know.

This is what happens when you become a parent. You're like, that's so cute though. I mean, you know, you're just basically like, I don't know, just trying to relive your childhood through a child. I got, I bought this for myself with my mom, just kinda gave me her card and was like, I don't wanna do returns this year,

so I got to buy my own gifts. And one of the things I got for myself is a tiny MacBook Air. It's about the size of my palm. It's very cute. It's a total replica. And then when you open it up, it's a makeup compact. And there's a little mirror.

And it looks like a laptop, but it's a complete recreation, except for the screen is a mirror. And that's what I'm gonna use whenever I'm on the go now. And I feel so cool. Ha ha ha. Wow. I love it. Yeah, so I got that.

What else did I get? I got a bunch of like games and shit like that, but it's funny, the older you get, the more your gifts kind of get concentrated into things that you are gonna need in a month, but you don't have to buy them for yourself anymore. So Christmas was good. It's one of those, we ended up sitting around a table

and my whole family was debating whether or not you could get caught doing piracy over a VPN. And I'm sitting there like, I have the answer, like to see anyone walk the answer because I can give it to you. And we're sitting there and then I told, I explained what a VPN was and how it works and how it would protect you

if you were trying to tour and something or something. My whole family kept trying to correct me and then they started talking about net neutrality and I was like, you have no idea what you're talking about. I was like, no, I actually know they're like, I was like, I set up your Alexa. You didn't even know how to set up your Alexa this morning. Like, are you fucking kidding me?

No, this is like when I, my dad, all the time, I'm like, my father's like, this is the most insane thing. He's like, my computer won't, I can't get this file or whatever, you know, I'm like, okay, go to this, go to the control panel, open up this thing. It's gonna ask you if you wanna do this or that and he's like, I hit this thing. I'm like, why would you hit that?

He's like, I see, he's like, I just see like, the right thing. I'm like, just listen, you're supposed to listen to me and I'm gonna tell you what to do. And then I'll be like, and then it's like, I just see like the right thing. I'm like, just listen, you're supposed to listen to me and I'm gonna tell you what to do. And then I'll be like, and then it will go, it's like, okay, so it's like, okay, so then hit cancel and he's like, well, I don't want to cancel it.

And it's like, what do you mean why do you want to cancel it? It's like, I'm the expert. You're not like a let me do it. It's so insane. It's like, it's crazy. It'd be like this. It'd be like, if I took my car in for service. Okay.

And the mechanic was like, I don't even know what it'd be like. It'd be like, if I was like, let me get on your, what is the thing that rolls onto the car? And I'm like, why are you using a wrench? I don't want a wrench. I roll up to the next day.

I roll up to the next to the mechanic. He's like loosening something like, why are you loosening that? I'm like, you should tighten that. Like, that's what it would be like. I don't know what that does. Really, I was like, switch these cables here in the engine.

Put that cable here and put this on the one over there. They should all match. Yeah, put the blue ones with the red and the red ones separate. It's like, you know, I don't know what's going on to the engine. I don't know anything about engines. No, I know, everybody's an expert now, and I spent all morning setting up everybody's

fucking tech toys, and then to be told, like, actually, no blah, blah, blah, about net neutrality. I'm like, explain net neutrality to me. Just explain it. That would be great. I blame it up. I gave it up.

I blame Wikipedia. Wow, we've been going a long time. I think we gotta wrap up. I feel like I don't know if you talked about anything. I mean, we've been going not long time. I think we got to wrap up. I don't know if you talked about anything. I mean, we've been going not that long because first 10 minutes was nothing. Was it? I don't know.

I get hunks that are nothing. Anyway, we've got big chunks in here you can use. Okay. All right. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. So what did you get for Christmas? So that was really what I got. I got Axiom Verge as a game I got.

I got a really easy good. I loved it. For the Switch Axiom Verge as a game I got. I got a really easy good. I loved it. For the Switch, Axiom Verge. I'm a voyant. I'm a voyant. I'm a voyant. I'm a voyant because it sounds like Axiom's Verge and I'm like, that can't be a good mashup.

Yeah, no, it's really good and fun. I like the rest of the world. I'm in a Metroidvania hole and I love it. I got a whole bunch of games. I got Mario Party recently. I got a whole bunch of games. I got Mario Party recently. I got Mario Tennis. I got GTA V was just being given away on Amazon. So I was like,

oh yeah. I need to get, I need to get, I was thinking I got a $100 gift certificate for the PS4 or for the PlayStation store rather. And now I'm like, what should I spend this on? There's so many options. So yeah, so many VR recommendations, because that's, I mostly buy them download.

Should I get the headset? Get the headset. Now, I don't, listen, I already got enough, Lauren, I already spend enough time apart. I don't think I can be jacked in also while she's sitting on the sofa next to me. I just think that's gonna create a friction in our relationship that's unnecessary.

I got like, I bought myself like four versions of of Tetris I bought VR Tetris. I got Chris Yeah, they got Tetris fact. Oh, it's good is gris good. I'm thinking about it. It's superb. Okay I just I don't know like I have Claire and there's all these games. It's short. What? Grace is short like blessedly short is it Okay. I have so many unfinished games. I started playing Far Cry 5 the last couple of days like because I'm like, oh yeah, Far Cry 5. And I was like, yeah, I do enjoy like not, if Far Cry 5 you can kind of not do anything for a while.

Yeah. I have to say it is so stupid. The plot of that game is so, the characters are so fucking dumb. I was really reminded like, I'm like, these are the cheesiest, lamest, dumbest, least realistic, least scary villains of all time. They're like religious, like dude, religious,

like religions, the last thing I worry about these days. Yeah. Yeah, no, like like bottom of the, if they had actually made, I'm sorry, this is so not relevant, but like if they had actually made those characters like a white supremacists, like people who wanted to bring about like a Nazi like version of the character. Yeah, they have made them like for a return Spencer or KKK.

That would be that would be truly terrifying. And also like I would the motivation to like play the game and to go to the table. I think they're trying to do that without doing it because they didn't want to like offend anybody. Yeah, but they do. But no, that's right. They were scared of offend people who are racists.

And it's like, I think that really shows the limits of the medium right now in my opinion. Because it's like, yeah, triple A titles. I have to pay every minute. It's unabashed. I'll say this in Hollywood. It's unabashed. I'll say this in Hollywood. It's unabashed that like nobody makes a movie that's like kind of like wiffle, like waffling.

Sorry. It makes a movie that's like a waffling about the Nazis. Yeah. They're not like American history access and like, blue, but maybe the Neil Nazis are kind of cool. Like that doesn't happen. Like green room is not like, oh, the Nazis are cool guys. Yeah, they're not couching any, uh,

they're not like, we don't want to like, we don't want to make it seem like Nazis are necessarily all bad. Yeah, no, literally marvel was like, which is a rename the Nazis and beat them up in every movie. Yeah, so it's like, so I think, well, that's a little bit, I will say that's a little bit, uh, they could have done more with it, I think. Did you watch Bird Box on Netflix? No, I haven't watched it because I don't watch Garbage. Oh, bold statement. It looks really dumb. It looks really dumb to me. It was okay.

Okay. If you say it's okay, I guess it's like, it's not a pride not with my time, right? I just say, I say, I really like garbage, is that you say? I say that like you, I'm not like a horror person, but I've say that you will like, I feel like you are open to more stuff than you are.

No, no, no, no, okay, I, no, I will watch bad stuff. Everything I recommend to people, they tell me, okay, you have sure, sure, sure, sure, I, no. I will watch bad stuff. Everything I recommend to people, they tell me, okay, you have sure, sure, sure, sure, sure. Then a year later, they come back and they're like, do you see Blank, it's so good. And I'm like, I fucking was trying to get- You just said, okay.

You just said, okay. I know, I know, but you're insulting my taste. My taste is great. No, no, no. Bird Box was just okay. It was just fine. I won't, it's not even right home about it. If you have a free two hours and you wanna watch the end,

so I don't, like, let me reiterate. Let me reiterate. right home about it. If you have a free two hours and you wanna watch it, it's like, let me reiterate. Let me reiterate. I don't have a free two hours. I think that's my point. Like, is that I think you've got a little bit more time than I do and I don't mean this, I have a kid. I don't mean this in any way. I'm not trying to be a jerk.

But like, I get to pray already something, go band or snatch it. Like right now, yeah, band or snatch it. Right now, I'm like, it's like, it's a neo-yokeo. It's a Christmas. Oh, is it good? It's pretty good.

Right now, it's like, it's like in the evening on Friday night, we're recording the slate, sorry guys. And I'm like, okay, I have this many hours before I have to go to sleep and then get up really early. And it's like, those hours are, what am I gonna do? It's like, I can play a game for an hour or two and then watch like, a little bit of TV. I finished the Marvel.

You want to do a little bit of the show called? Yeah. Not good. In my opinion. Yeah, they worship her a little too much. It's I thought it was very fair. I do like Zachary Levy. I just say Zachary Levy.

Oh, incredible. I can't believe Chuck is like cool. He's so hot. I can take it. It's like Chuck is like a cool guy now. He's making a sense. Wait, so Neo-Yokeo Pink Christmas is basically about Chapo. Like Chapo Trap House podcast.

Is it making fun of them or is it pro-chapo? It's making fun of them and it's so good. I need to. I cut it. It's like, they literally, there's a line where they're like, if you want to come celebrate how much capitalism and materialism sucks and how much we need to get back to basics,

you can use offer code, like materialism, and check out to save $5 and your $300 tickets to see me in concert. I am. It's so good. I should watch that. It's good. And again, I'm not that antedat. I'm not, I don't want to pull that war with Chappell. I think they're fine. I just do think there's criticisms not that amped at. I'm not, I don't want to pull that war with Chabo. I think they're fine.

I just do think there's criticisms there that are really funny. And whenever you criticize somebody whose full-time job is dunking, I'm all for it. All right, let's get to nice things. Let's talk about nice things. Let's do it. Let's get to nice things. Oh my God.

So my nice things are, if you haven't seen the show, Agret Tsuko on Netflix, it's cute and adorable. It's basically Sanrio characters, but I like watching with John because the main character really reminds me of him. It's anthropomorphic little creatures from the Sanrio Hello Kitty universe, but Retsuko is a character that works in an office

and then as a hobby, it does like metal scream-out karaoke to get her frustration and anxiety out. And John loves to sing, and he works in an office, and he has a lot of anxiety and stress, so it's like a good mix of those things. And it dropped to Christmas special, and it was delightful. The whole show is very fun and cute.

And it's good to watch either with kids or on your own, and I love it, and you should go watch it. It's great. And then oh my other nice thing is a phone game which I generally have a tough time getting into phone games just because they are there's so much else shit to do on your phone and you end up closing it after two seconds. But I got into and it's a little bit older, but I had never played it. So it's new to me. I think it's called Around the World in 80 Days. It's by Enkel.

It's like an interactive novel. A lot of Choose Your Own Adventure content on the cast this week. But it's sort of an interactive novel with tons of original artwork and music. And it's great. It's just like a little experience on your phone and it's great for on the subway or like laying in bed before bed. I'm all for these like new forms of a mix between passive and active stuff

where you get to be told the story and you get all the art and stuff but you don't necessarily need to have, you don't need to be jacked in to your like have a controller in your hand and a headset and a team assembled over Xbox Live. Like, I'm all for, like, a lean back interactive experience. A lot of, like, lumines or, like, Tetris is really where my mind is at at the moment, which is why I love the Game Boy so much. Why I love to Pokemon so much.

So, yeah, I really loved it. It is a little bit older. You could probably get a deal on it in the App Store. Check that out. And my other nice thing is Indian food. I love Indian food. That's it. Indian food is so good.

So good. There's so much good food out there. I'm not a food person. I don't like food. I don't like food, but I'm like, yeah. When people get particular about food, I'm like, yeah. When people get like particular about food, I'm like, I don't understand it, I don't. I like eating anything, but I can appreciate

really good food. Everyone's gonna love a craving for something specific, but it's extremely rare. Oh, I had Dorito encrusted mozzarella sticks with fresh chopped mozzarella that were fresh meat like when they brought them to me, and you dipped it in this like mustard dipping sauce. I had that at the Honeywell, which is a 73 bar,

that's a couple blocks from me, nobody tried to find me in Doxmay. The Honeywell is an incredible bar, it's all 70s themed, like topped bottom. The bathroom has like an old water heater and a picture of like burnt randles on the back of the bathroom door, and it's like a sliding pocket door,

and all the TVs play like Sanford & Sun or like game shows from the 70s, and all the drinks are like, you know, like Harvey Wallbanger. It basically feels like your cool uncle who never had kids and redid his basement. And they have incredible food, like a cheese ball and like fried polenta, stuff like that. And they had these Dorito covered mozzarella sticks

that fucking blew my ass off. They were so amazing. Incredible. I had those the day before Christmas, Eve, and I loved it. And so the Honeywell is great, but yeah, comfort food, I think, is my nice thing. Let's let me amend that. Oh, comfort food is good. I've had a lot of comfort food over the holidays, and frankly, I need to unbug.

Have way less comfort food. Get off the trough. Get the do-year. All right. I got a couple trough. You had to do a year. All right, I got a couple of nice things. The first nice thing is just, I do not take a lot of time off and I've the last week-ish.

I did work the last two days and I'm working right now, and it's 10, 30 a night, so. Hey, but the last week or so, I've been not working very much and I've been hanging out with Zelda and Laura and our friends and family. And I have to say like I really, I do think like the best thing that everybody can do, even though sometimes they are very fucking annoying.

Not, I'm not saying this about my friends and family or Laura and Zelda. I'm just saying I know that sometimes one's closest friends and relatives can be very annoying. I do think it's very healthy and good to not be on the internet and to be with people. I mean, I have to say, my family are a family of locals for the most part, but I was so nice to go to a Christmas party with extended family who I haven't seen or really spoken at any length too for a variety of reasons. For a long time, people that parts of the family really didn't speak too for a long time. And we put all that aside and had a really nice Christmas party on Christmas Eve. And it was really, really nice to be in a room full of people and just talk about

like whatever and catch up and like be in the moment and have food together and listen to music and get a little drunk and talk about Christmas ornaments for years ago. Like that shit, it was nice to be out of the cycle. Yeah. No, I think it's very healthy. And I've really enjoyed. And, you know, I can already feel myself longing for, you know, like getting, you know, very, sad that I'm going to have to go back and start doing regular work days again in the near future. Um, and my, and my other nice thing is, uh, I don't normally do resolutions. I'm not a big resolutions person. I think last year though, it's hard to make them stick. It's hard to make them stick. I think last year

I was like I'm gonna like seriously lose some weight because I felt like I was like, you know, 15 or 20 pounds heavier than I should have been. And I did it. And now, and now the last few months I feel like I've somehow not repealed it completely, but definitely put on a couple of pounds. Oh, absolutely. And so I'm kind of like, and not for you for me. I've been talking about, yeah, rude. I've been talking about, with Laura, a little bit about about resolutions. And I've never been a resolution person, but now I kind of am like, yeah, I'll try to change a few things probably early in the year and see how that feels. And I think it's kind of good just to get out of your, maybe very much on a similar vein

as spending time with friends and family, but it's not being on the internet. It's kind of good to get out of your whatever rut you're in and do something different. And I think that for me, I'm like, for the first first time maybe a bit excited about the possibility of, you know, I don't know, trying a different diet or drinking less or, you know, it's altering, exercising more, you know, just the things that people do. I think they sent, they seem very basic in some ways, but they're also quite interesting to me. So, yeah, those are my nice things. I was gonna try to stop murdering vagrants. Yeah, also that.

Also, the camera I want is on Mass Drop again. I think I'm gonna have to buy it this time. I think I'm gonna set the go for it. New resolution. Mass Drop, you butter fuckers. Leave me alone. My new resolution is to spend money. Yeah, just leave me alone anyhow.

But yeah, that's it. I just think we'll be back with real news. We'll have a cogent show. Real news. Not recorded from my bed. Real news from a new world in a new year. I'm excited, man. I'm excited.

But I mean, 2018 was a motherfucker. It's a bastard of a year. Like, truly a bad year. Like, just a bad year. Like, I'm stupid. When I look back on it, I really can't believe how bad of a year it was. So stupid. It's funny.

It happened. I think we were all like in 2017, we were all kind of like, well, this is happening. You know, it was like, it was the adjustment period with like Trump. And 2018 is like, this is how we live now. What we talk about when we talk about how we live now. What is he was like, it's real and we're in it. We're in the need to talk about the president. We're like, it's like, we're walking through a swamp.

Let's say, and like, you get into the swamp. You really want someone to drain that swamp. We're like, yeah, this swamp. When you start to get into the swamp, you know you get across the swamp. You really want someone to drain that swamp. Where are you? Is this swamp? When you start to get into the swamp, you know you get across the other side, okay, because on the other side is freedom and sanity. But like we need to first step into the swamp. You're like, all right, okay, it's like my shoes are wet,

my socks are wet, it's uncomfortable, but it's fine. Now we're like up to our chests or wastes, maybe. And it's like, oh man, like there's swamp water in my ass right now. And I don't like it. It's like when you get on this subway and you really have to pee and you're like, it's fine, I'm gonna be home like in an hour. And then you're 40 minutes in and you're like, do I get off, do I get off and find this is real pain?

I'm this real pain. It's really happening. Can I get out of it? But that's the thing about it. When you're halfway through the swamp, okay. You gotta go to the other side. You can't turn back. You gotta get home to pee. It's 3am.

I don't care how much you had to drink. You get that part. Honestly, if you're in the swamp, you can pee. I think, honestly, though, you might have tried to navigate or something. I don't know how that works, but all I'm saying is, we're like, you'll definitely get some kind of parasite in your re-thra.

We're midway through the crossing and it is dirty. And it feels bad, and I think everybody is feeling that. And then I think next year, well, if this recession happens that everybody's been talking about, like, you know, that'll be the part where we're in up to our next. We'll be three quarters of the way through. I don't know.

I don't know. Who's running? I'm ready to vote for somebody who's running. Let's not get into that. We'll talk about it next week. We'll talk about all this stuff next week. All right, that's running? I'm ready to vote for somebody who's running. Let's not get into that. We'll talk about it next week. We'll talk about all this stuff next week. All right, that's the day we should wrap up, I think. Bye.

Bye. Well that is our show for this week. We'll be back next week with more tomorrow. And as always, I wish you and your family the very best and a happy new year. Although I've just heard that the God creature Mary Poppins has arrived at your home, and she'd like to discuss Subaru's. you