Tomorrow - 168: Jony Ive Thought Different, Once

Episode Date: June 28, 2019

Jony Ive has left Apple, the 48 Democratic presidential candidates have formed a human centipede, and MTV is making new episodes of The Hills. If that weren't enough, it's also Pride week in NYC. Take your shirt off, check your credit score, and buckle up for an explosive episode of Tomorrow. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey and welcome to tomorrow, I'm your host Josh Wittipolsky. Today on the podcast we discuss Tokyo Disneyland, Beyonce's toothbrush, and high school Spanish. I don't always one minute. Let's get right into it. Well Ryan, happy pride. That's what I'm thinking. Only few more days before all the drag queens go back to their cave in the hills and Debra Cox goes back to sleep and Lady Gaga has to put her cowboy hat back on. It's all over. Lady Gaga, she has to become a Joanne again or whatever.

Yeah, and the YouTube will transition. It's a logo back to the full Nazi ego. Back to swastika. No, it's like, what is it? It's like the QAnon, it's the QAnon symbol or whatever. Yeah, it's been, it's been a real bad part where we go on, we go all, well, it's like, nothing, nothing's good now anymore. No, nothing, nothing, everything's part of the board.

You can't enjoy any, like you can't have like a pure enjoyment of like, it's pride months, like let's party and let's remember great moments and it's like, oh, the Supreme Court band game marriage again. Sorry guys. Trump just said that all gay people must be euthanized. Sorry everyone. And the real tough thing with Pride Month is that we're of extremely intersectional community.

People from all walks of life have been rejected by their families or are queer. So every bad thing that happens to humanity kind of happens on all of us. It's not a fun month. I gotta say, the parade is on. What it is, it's like a sandwich. A shit sandwich.

Yeah, yeah, it's like, it's like bread. You're like bread, mm, bread. Oh, wait, no, I got to the shit, it's all shit. It's like, yeah, I mean listen, hey, it's time out there, okay. It's hard for everybody, okay? You think it's great being a straight white man? Apparently it is because as a transition,

Johnny Ive, starting his own design firm, leaving Apple. I'm gonna take him my shirt off right now. I gotta get him in. In celebration of pride. I've talked about this. It's over, so pride and also Johnny Ive leaving. No, this is huge breaking news for a new.

Breaking news. Like literally, actually started recording. I just tweeted about it, couldn't have been more than 14 minutes ago. It was 17 minutes ago. Johnny Ive is leaving Apple. He's starting an independent design company. Gonna make more toothbrushes. He's like, my real passion has always been beautifully designed

and but with one hideous feature, toothbrushes. He's like, they're absolutely gorgeous. They're very difficult to search. No, I will say, my diamond clean toothbrush is perfect. And did he design it? Yes. And it did. No, he didn't.

Very easy to charge. Shut up, he designed a toothbrush. Beyonce owns it. Oh, okay. Beyonce owns one of them or the entire company. Beyonce owns one of them. I have to imagine more than one toothbrush, but. I'll just say this.

He's doing a, he's gonna start a design company with, with Mark Newsom, who used to be really an exciting designer in my opinion. I consider these guys like very 90s designers. Well, there's the thing. There's the rub. I don't feel like I felt like Johnny Ive has been checked into everything for a while. I think that's pretty apparent in the work. I also think like new blood is not the worst thing

for Apple at the moment. And Johnny Ive had some phenomenal ideas for decades. I know, yeah. And now maybe it's time for someone else to have some huge, going out. He's going out the cheese greater, Matt. But the apagios is of all of his big ambitions, like simplifying this, getting rid of excess buttons

and ports and smoothing everything out and making everything thin, that was his whole thing. And we're really there. How much less buttons could the iPhone possibly have? I mean, it sure, and no one's entirely sure if it was all good, you know, like if they were all the right decisions. No, they just were decision.

They were decisions. They were a vision. There's no question. These were all decisions that he made. And some of them were good, and some of them were bad. Now look, I will tell you, listen, Johnny, I've had his highs and his lows. I'm trying to get his thin days and his real pludgy days. Okay, you know what, it's not about his body.

It's about his body of work. It's about his body of work. I've been always been very attracted to Johnny, I've been a pivot to the baldness or whatever. So I tracked that in the t-shirt journey very closely. He's gone in the opposite direction of Elon Musk. Embraced baldness, Elon Musk rejected baldness. And let's just say this, one of them's going to Mars

and one is going to a private design firm. One of them knows Beyonce. One of the soldier truth brush to Beyonce. Johnny Ive, what is his greatest piece of design? I was trying to think about that. What is the number one piece that he's designed? I think it has to be the iPod from four buttons to the click wheel, down to the nano, the shuffle I don't really care for,

but all of the iPod line has to be the Rayzondetra. Like it is that maybe the iMac stuff, those were the, I think the most impactful things done. The iPhone felt more like Steve's project than it did Johnny Ives project. It felt like a, a malgamation of a couple of people going together. Yeah. But the iPod was truly the pinnacle of,

I think what Johnny Ives was going for. Oh God, there can be so many slide shows of his designs. Of Johnny, you know, Johnny Ives design through the years Johnny Ives greatest hits Johnny Ives biggest misses. It's fine. You know, there's there's there's few there are a few designers have had more impact on modern culture. Remember when he designed that $256,000 ring made entirely of diamond. I mean, he designs him dumb shit and some bad shit.

And like honestly, like, he clearly does not care for poor people. I mean, he's not designing for the masses. I mean, he's not like, this is the best thing for everyone. No, it's the best thing. Which I support, I mean, maybe. I mean, I'm fine. You don't have to design for everyone.

You know, that's a type of design. You don't have to do it. I'm trying to think of like, like, certainly not sustainable or environmentally friendly design was not his forte. Yeah. Customizable design was not his forte. It was very, um, runway. It was, it was, uh, it was his, his focus was on creating something that made a statement and was perhaps impractical, not like ready to wear. Yeah. Uh, but I, I, stunning, for its time. I credit Johnny I with spearheading a,

to be honest with you, a type of design, a sterile form of design that referenced some of the great designers in history, Dita Roms. It's extremely magnus. Yeah, it's very magnus. No, but like, you know, he referenced some of the great designs throughout history and the great designers. And he's certainly now among them.

I mean, maybe the most impactful. Literally took a beige box that was in my living room and turned into something that I wanted to show people at a coffee shop. But I will say one man's singular vision or at least his vision plus Steve Jobs has dictated so much of design. And I will say it is a sterile

and often impractical type of design, like a glass back on the iPhone while beautiful. Aspirational. Aspirational is impractical and kind of incoherent when you think about what the device is. I mean, think about the band that went around the iPhone 4 and what was the scandal, the touchgator, whatever it was? Yeah, the touchgator.

And 10-a-gate, yeah. No, not touchgator, that's something else. But I just think, I will say, for all of the credit that he gets for great design, I think he's actually done some damage to design at large. He may have been so impactful. Our allegiance to materials like stainless steel and glass is driven by the popularity of the iPhone,

not driven by actual design needs. Our desire for thinness isn't driven by actual design needs. I think that most people would tell you that when they transitioned from a kind of a fatter iPhone to a thinner iPhone, they didn't feel like, oh, I could hold it better. They felt like they could hold it worse. And the truth is, there was less to hold.

And I think that it's fine to aspire, it's fine to design beautiful, I mean, they are beautiful objects. But beautiful objects, when you design them, have to have a purpose. And it's okay to be frivolous sometimes, okay to do things that are about artifice. But I do think that he drove design to a place

that is in some ways has been very bad for design. I think he drove us all away from design ideas, like using mixed materials, using things like wood or cloth or using color in a certain way. A warmth and a customization. He reminds me a little bit of like friends, where like friends was the pinnacle and it was ubiquitous and it was aspirational and it was pretty

and everybody, everybody on earth was impacted and loved it. And the problem of friends though is that for five years after that, every network tried to make another friends and there was no good sitcoms or TV or creative stuff happening because what they did was singular and you couldn't really copy pun intended, AT&T singular drug. You couldn't really copy because it was its own thing

and I think yeah, it probably had a negative effect on design as a whole, but it was a big step forward. This is the end of an era. Certainly you're using an iPhone today, I've noticed. Let's get to that in a second. I want to talk a little bit more about Johnny Hive. We can talk about my iPhone in a second. But how are they not intrinsically tied?

I'm gonna talk about a second, but I will say that, I mean, that's actually separate. One of the other things I just want to touch on for, Johnny Hive took over software design in Apple a few years ago and it resulted in some of the worst software design. It's not a software, man. I mean, it resulted in some of the most insane and absurd software that has ever been designed.

And this does segue to my iPhone, and I will talk about it in a second. But I just think there is a, you gotta take the, once in a while, you gotta take the, once in a while, you gotta take the fucking shades off, the rose colored shades and see things for what they are. And, you know, it vexes me that, that Samsung, I have to watch Samsung try to like,

like catch up, by the way, I think Samsung has, in some ways done design that has leapfrog, some of Apple's ideas, and I think that other companies have as well. And in other ways, they've shipped the bed completely. Yeah, like Google had a moment. I mean, I and I believe that there are some fundamental principles of their design that I mean, certainly material design on the software side holds up to like battle test you, in my opinion, way more than Apple's design guidelines within like whatever the iPhone is doing right now. I was going to say when they took the cuffs

of skew and morphism off of iOS. Yeah. Very exciting. Yeah. They did not do. Don't worry. Freedom. Yeah. They didn't do with their freedom. What Google has done with material design, which was create a language that I think is sort of timeless. And it is so beautiful and perfect that you almost don't even notice it most of the time.

Well, I mean, I know for an iOS security For all of Johnny Ives, like great design chops, like his software design is, you know, whatever he led during his era of software design is, it's clunky, it's, he's not a digital designer. No, like designing the box at the screen goes in, it's not the same thing as designing the things that go into the screen. And I think that like it's important to think about

what digital design is, and information design is, versus what you put the mute switch. I have a feeling he looked at Windows Mobile, which in many ways shit the bed, but in other ways has yet to be matched in certain aspects of global OSs. And he didn't get it. Because he just understands like a simple, I don't want to use it because that's what Google uses

But this sort of materials like their papers on your desk sort of design and it wasn't natively digital the iPhone and iOS For a while now has not felt natively digital like this could only exist in a digital form It very much feels like I'm opening a box and there's the stuff in this box Then I close that box and I take it off my desk and I put another box on there. Yeah, it's chunky. There's no system. Yeah, and there's no, there's no, I mean, it's funny to think about like the kind of, I actually makes a lot of sense, you know, here's a guy who, you know, got downright masturbatory over like bezels and curves and like, that's all fine in like the realm of

industrial design, but, but, but in software design and in system design It's all about how these things like interlink. It's about the interplay and I think what Matthias Duarte and the Google design team got right on material design is there's a lot of There's a lot of sort of shared Architecture that really feels like lived in you know with that system But they also allow for quirks the iPhone is so sterile. Yeah, there's no personality Like well material design has a sterileness to it. I mean, I would say I mean just little things like when you turn off the Android screen It closes like a little TV screen those little things make the touch that I feel like it's a personalized device even though

Everyone has that effect. Yeah, but the iPhone it just seems to be the name of the game is as much mental as possible, as little, what they copied from WebOS was like the card system, but none of the deep level integration, none of the customizability. And Google, I think, took the customizability and the deep level integration and then came up with their own sort of other language to use those core ideas, rather than the superficial parts of WebOS. That's right. Yeah, I think I just think so, so look,

I mean, not to completely spiral out on Johnny. I mean, the man has an amazing design legacy, you know, I think his later stage. I mean, it is the end of an era. I think it's, yeah, it's the end of an era, and by the way, like, good riddance to the era. I think it's like good, no, I think it's time. Like, we've lived with this design as a kind of fixture

of, you know, people going like, that's like good. No, I think it's time. Like we've lived with this design as a kind of fixture of You know people going like that's the ultimate and now like no one is gonna be I'm entirely sure what the ultimate is Like the end of hair metal. I don't think it's I don't think it's a given that Apple is a thing I know yeah, I don't think it's a given that whoever Apple you know has as their next lead designer is articulating the right and perfect vision and that that's good. And I think that what Johnny I've did and what he will, I'm sure, continue to do, is unbelievably impressive. I mean, his work at Apple, there are too many wins

to even list, but I will say at the end of it, there are a lot of misses to list. And there are a lot of misses to list. And there are a lot of like sort of decisions that I think didn't take into consideration like the human aspect of the design. And didn't take into consideration like the needs of the design. And you know, the reason we can critique this and talk about it in so in depth and so passionately is because what he did was so massive. And and and and in many ways perhaps the most massive of the last 50 years or so in design, I mean, between bizarre things Nendendo did, Apple's design language, and I'm trying to think

of something else that has impacted maybe like hipster hand made culture, impacted the literal things we touch every single day all day constantly. I mean, I mean, it's massive footprint. So how many fingers people have is probably one of those factors, eyes, the fact that we have eyes. Yeah, he's like, he's like a high similar,

Johnny, I have a similar to the sun or the moon. No, I tried to think of like, yeah, like, well, I mean, early, I would say card design, I mean, I would say like the early sort of basics of car. I mean, every home appliance for 40 years looked like cars. Yeah, I mean, but the card design also was like a whole new way of thinking about how the body and machines interact. But you can't look at the Tesla.

You can't look at the switch. You can't look at, I mean, even that stupid mirror that people exercise in front of you see that like exercise mirror. Please don't insult my exercise mirror. Mirror dot co. Please don't diss my mirror. Exercise. Yeah.

Offer code. Ryan's gay. I have not seen that. But all of those things are a product of what he sort of did. And now it's so ubiquitous that it's like, all right enough. I'm happy to see someone else try and do something like that because I'm so bored with the ubiquity of what he did. No, it's fucking boring and it's also like, I'm sorry, the single mind-in-ness

of the design and the lack of the industry to step up. I mean, you know, you can make the arguments like, well, consumers embraced it and other companies fall to it, so it must have been the best design. That's not actually true. I mean, that is just like people tend to gravitate towards the most popular thing. Also, and it may have been the best ideas we had then. The best ideas we had. There are better ideas that we had.

There was absolutely a point where like, you know, look, the early days of the iPhone was like, this is an insane idea and then it was like, wait, actually this is a really good idea. You know, the, and I, the iPod, the, the, the, the concept of it, I believe this is actually Steve Jobs, the concept of like just a touch screen, you know, no physical keyboard, you know, very few buttons

to interact with. I remember being very worried about that. Well, sure, and everybody, I'm like, oh my God, it's tight. No, everybody was worried about it. Meanwhile, I'm using T9. But you know what? But you know what? But you know what?

But that's while we, to this fucking day, we were all struggling with virtual keyboards. We were all mistyping words and sending duck instead of fuck. I mean, dude, every day, every moment that I type on my phone, especially now that I've switched back to the iPhone to ready to get to in a second, I struggle with the fucking interpretation of what I'm trying to do with what is actually produced.

I stood next to a woman on the B-Train to Brooklyn yesterday. It was body to body rush hour. She had slightly long acrylic nails. She was a very small woman. She had a large iPhone, the chaotic energy with which she used her thumbs to type. It was like she was juggling the phone back and forth

between her hands trying to get the words out. Then she went through and changed all the mistyppings, all the whatever, and then hit send. And I looked at it and like, I didn't even know Johnny I was leaving today and I thought that's Johnny I was like, no, I mean, this woman being like,

oh, I gotta get this message out. I mean, the keyboard isn't like his, that's not his, baby. I'm just joking. But like to be clear, I mean, I think it's, you know, Apple just announced in iOS 13, they're gonna do like a swipe keyboard. Yeah.

Which is cool, like, but I can tell you having used a swipe keyboard on Android for a while, it's actually like a huge improvement over like, it's like, wow, that you had to install a third party and you had to do that. No, but what's incredible about it is like so many people have never thought, there might be a different way to type on a phone.

It isn't going tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, you do on a keyboard. While they took it to one place, there are a bunch of other people who took it to another place. Apple only now is going to embrace this other thing. Well, it's a Siri integration. It's honestly comical that their concept of Siri was like this. Voice in the sky that wasn't connected to any of your information or apps and didn't have a ton of AI behind her and could just like Google search things

that weren't like math problems. Yeah, and so I think it's like, it's very interesting, it'll be very interesting to see like what that next era of. I'm pumped. Well, it's like Johnny I've did not get voice interaction. I think we can agree on that. You know, I think we can just say that like,

somebody somewhere in Apple was like, yeah, maybe like searching with your voice is a good idea. We'd be able to ask your phone things. And they got like a part of it, right? But there's a lot they didn't get right. And so it's interesting to see like the holes in that sort of design, that sort of thinking of what design is

as a hardware practice, as a physical practice. Like yeah. And by the way, it's very, I think it's very reflective of Apple as a company. Apple is bad at the internet. They're not bad at software, but there are parts of their software suite that are very bad.

I mean, I choose a great example of software that never evolved, could never envision itself as something else, could never go to the place that we were, that we were all going to, that's right. That's right. It's just like the iPhone. And so to. That's right. That's right. It's just like the iPhone.

And so I think it's interesting to see the limits of like those, like the masters of design. It's like where, where, where heaven meets earth. There may be a bit of daylight. Okay. I hope he goes on to design roller coasters. And my final message to him is as Kirstie Alley once said to Stephen Hawking, you had a good go at it. Thanks for your input. Very good and relevant to our interests. Yeah, so I switched to the iPhone. In a similar...

Let me tell you what happened. Yeah, how do me give it to you? I broke my pixel. Actually, my pixel... That's like a sex thing. I broke my pixel. It, my pixel, it was like a sex bag. I broke my pixel. It was, I had to go to the hospital. There were 23 stitches in my pixel. There was latex everywhere. My pixel, my pixel will heal, but it's gonna take some time.

No, I broke my pixel. I'd slid off a table due to a strong gust. I might have told the store in the podcast. You needed one of those handmade umbrellas to block it. I needed one, I needed a pop socket on my pixel to keep it always within reach. Um, and then I think what do you think Johnny I have things that the pop socket? I think you get hives. Yeah, I think Johnny, Johnny Hives. Johnny Hives. I think he definitely does not like accessories. No. I think he's like, I look at an order box and he's like, I hope you fucking die.

I hope he's like, Johnny I was like a guy who he like is driving a Mercedes in the desert and it runs out of gas And he just pulls it over to the side of the road And it's a new Mercedes and it's how many comes by with a new Mercedes and he gets in it That's like how many tell me iPhones you think that Johnny I was just like it smashed a fucking pieces And then he goes to like a box. There's a bunch of iPhones say there. He takes it other one out I imagine his old iPods because iPods used to scratch if you are a young and iPods used to scratch if you blew on them And I imagine he would get a tiny scratch in the middle of his screen toss it at an intern and Deal with this so

so anyhow so Oh, so so I smash my pixel got smashed. Yeah, pixel 3 XL phone that I loved. Although, let me restate that. I love the functionality of the pixel 3 XL. It has the most disgusting notch. A notch more disgusting than Apple's, which was pretty is pretty disgusting. And by the way, I love that every Chinese company is now like,

yeah, you don't need to do the notch. You can just put a little dot there. You can get a little guy that pops up. You actually, we're gonna put a camera under the screen. It's actually not that hard. And Apple's like, the only way to do this is to put the notch there. Which is a great example of Apple's like limits of design.

Um, the, so, okay, so then I got a one plus seven pro. And it's fine, it's good, it's great phone. I love it, fantastic phone. Not the Pixel, not, doesn't have all of Google stuff. Camera's not as good. I found myself like using like a hacked like Pixel APK camera app. I could have gotten the Pixel fixed, but then it was Laura's birthday.

And you know, we have a child and a family. And everybody's like mad at me because I don't have eye message. Eye message is never, I tried some hacky shit, it's never coming to Android. So, I don't want to FaceTime you when I'm traveling. I can't FaceTime with her. You know, I got to get my fucking iPhone on Wi-Fi. And I was just like, you know what, Laura, as a gift to you, enter the family, enter my daughter.

I'm just going to switch back to the iPhone. It's just not worth it anymore. Yeah. It like I don't like it. I'm not gonna enjoy it, but it's not worth the pain that I'm causing the whole, the entire family, the extended family. Bringing shame to the whole clan.

Bringing shame to the whole clan. At any rate, so yeah, so I switched to the iPhone and here's what I'll say about it. It's very annoying. It does some very annoying things. The way that it does things is extremely annoying. I'm constantly like, how do I do this thing that should be simple? Just things that shouldn't be hard are hard on it.

Yes. And I will say this in modern versions of Android, that is not the case. If you go out of Pixel right now, things that are hard on your iPhone will be less hard on your pixel. Also, it's fucking slow. It moves so slowly. It is like being in molasses. Like I said, chunky. It's just like, I get it, like you're for like the elderly,

but give me like a mode, just give me like an option to like speed it up. Give me, you can turn off all those little animations. No, they don't even, I'm sorry. No, it doesn't change. It does, here's what I think. It's like reduced motion. That doesn't change it does I here's what I here's what I here's what I think It's like reduce motion that doesn't change the speed. I think it's an illusion I have had people tell me this before they're like oh just turn off just turn off motion and like it'll be faster It's like no your brain thinks it's faster, but all it's happened is there's no animation it the fades are just as fucking slow. Yeah

Passwords You know I don't store my passwords in the live with them can't live without no I now I now use one password. That know, I don't store my passwords in there. I can't live with them, can't live without them. No, I now use one password. That's what I use. And you have to like dial it up through some arcane menu system. And then it gives you another menu and it gives you, there's a password and there's a code.

It's like, the iPhone's constantly asking you for your approval of things. Do you want this? Are you sure about this? Keep what your password in. Can you do your, can you enter some things? There's some, can you do two of factor? And from one angle, that's sort of good because I want to be notified when things are happening. But from another angle, I, it's so reflexive to me to just get past these fucking things. It's just the thing that I end up tapping things that I would have probably said no to. It's fine. The iPhone never learns. It never learns

like what you want. It's always just like, this is what I do, here's how I do it, I'm not gonna ever change. You need to like, contort to my version of reality. Most importantly, and I think most, most vaccine is, all my, most of my problems would probably be solved if I could just like define what my apps are that I use. I mean, a lot of them could at least. You know, not being able to say that I just want to use

Chrome for links. That is continuous to be a complete joke. The things like, look, they have this thing called Assistive Touch, which is, you can put this little dot on the screen, and it'll let you do a bunch of shortcuts. Super awesome idea. It's for people who used to break their home button. It's for people who broke their home button

or people who need, you know, it's one of the accessibility settings, you know, and there are people who definitely need it. It's not just like a nice to have, like it's necessary, but like some of the ideas in it are actually like quite striking. Like I can double tap on the dot

to bring my notification window down. I can single tap on it to bring my, I can set these by the way, single tap on the dot to bring my control center down. Presumably like if I wanted to and what should be possible, I can triple tap on it to get the camera open or whatever. None of these ideas are actually at play in the OS. They're this like weird auxiliary. It's like a hacky, like, like there's, it solves problems that they could just solve by making it better.

But here's a real problem I have all the time. I'm using my phone, something's happening that I need to take a picture of. I have to like figure out where my camera is, the camera icon because it's, Oh, I always just lock it in the long press or reading. Which is the kind of dumb shit that Python users do, the weird hoops that people jump through

because they don't realize that it could be better. It could be different. On Android, those are not the problems are not like that because people have been like, oh, either you can do this in the OS because it gives you these types of pieces of access. Or like Google figured out, like, you know what, double pressing on the home button

to quickly open the camera is super useful. And it, like like your brain immediately makes the connection that whenever you need the camera, all you have to do is double tap on the power button and it'll open it. You know what double tap on the power button does on the iPhone? Well, it opens at your Apple Pay card. Yeah, which like, which you use like maybe once or twice a day, you'll often use the fucking camera on the phone like a hundred times a day Like so no one there was like hey, what makes sense here? You know hold it down Siri comes up I can say at the triple tap you know I can set it to triple tap to do

Disappear and reappear that dot that shows up to use assistive touch It's like none of this makes any sense and that's a accessibility setting so there's to use assistive touch. It's like none of this makes any sense. And that's a accessibility setting. So there's lots of little weird things. It's like, they just made it, it's just like everything on the iPhone feels crafty, slow, poorly thought out, like a hack, like duct tape, and it's never getting better.

Like I've seen iOS 13, I downloaded it for my iPad. I'm like, oh, I knew, we'll see what it's like. And it's like, yeah, you made the icon smaller and you put some widgets on one screen. Like, I don't know what the improvement here is. We're still living in the world where the clock icon ticks the seconds, but the weather icon never shows you the temperature.

I know. I mean, look, I don't want to keep complaining about it. Yeah, we move on. But here's, but on the flip side, every phone is basically the fucking same now. The camera's fine. Yeah. It's not as good as the pixel, but it's fine.

I message is great. Face time's a joy. Once you are part of the I message and Face time clan, and I was a while ago, and now I'm back in the fold, you have a whole new circle of friends now. I have people who are talking to me that I haven't talked to in years. I'm suddenly part of the conversation. By the way, I don't really like talking to Bable's on some of that, right? But it's a fucking phone.

I have Gmail on it. I've got fucking Chrome on it. It does all the basic shit. It just is a little bit more annoying. And I will say there's probably five minutes. The thing about this means these are all fairly easy picks. They're fixable. If somebody with a sledgehammer can go in and say new ideas, guys, we're just going to blow some of this're fixed. They're very easy. If somebody with a sledgehammer can go in and say,

new ideas guys, we're just gonna blow some of this shit up. They're just easy. It's so apt. They haven't apt. They haven't apt. They have an app called, they have an app called Shortcuts. Do you know what Shortcuts does?

It creates shortcuts to things that they should let apps do. It's like, I have a Shortcut, which is a button in my, like, a little widget window, which is, go home and go home, put my home address in ways, and then starts to navigate it. There are ways to do that where I don't have to go into another app to make that happen. But like, Apple just like doesn't think about it. Like, it's like, they're not thinking about how people use things. Yeah. Anyhow, so long and short, it's like, the iPhone's fine. I use things. Yeah. Anyhow, so long and short, it's like the iPhone's fun. I love it and it's great.

And I'm very happy to be an iPhone user. And I can't wait to get my next big notch shitty fucking glass. Bullshit breaks on first drop phone. My shitty garbage case, I have to put on it. That looks like garbage that makes it hard to put it in my pocket. So congratulations to Apple for forcing me to use this phone. I hope you're all happy. Let's move on.

We've done half an hour on Apple's phone. Please message me. Other things happen. Do not message me all happy. Let's move on. We've done half an hour on Apple. Please message me. Other things happen. Do you know how to message me? Yeah, I'll say about the other things. This has been an insane fucking week. Let's move on. Do you wanna talk about my old hobby horse?

Reality TV, because the hills is back, baby. I think it's important to note that the hills is back and this is the one place where I will, this is the one reality show that I will actually spend time with. It's not gonna be wild to me, because fucking, and this is the one place where I will, this is the one reality show that I will actually spend time. Maybe. Wild to me, because fucking, Vanderbilt rules is the hills on, on meth. I've never seen a show that has less going for it

than the new hills reboot. I mean, it's so boring and stupid. And also like, There are hints of crazy. And I do think that people could bring the crazy, bring the drama, bring the psychological torture. That'll all be good. Misha Barton and Stephanie Pratt seem unwell.

I love that and I love that in my reality. I mean, Stephanie Pratt was like IOD while shoplifting, which I think is an amazing line. Such a good. Misha Barton seems actually pretty normal and reasonable. I don't know. I like the real shaky energy coming from her. But she said, I'm going out a lot of meetings.

This meeting with Misha Barton outside of MTV. People who are like I'm going on a lot of meetings. This meeting with Misha Martin outside of MTV. People who are like, we're doing a kind of like soft core porn. Would you be willing to show everything? What's her voice always that deep? Me, she's a, I think she's a pretty big. She's pretty big. Let me be clear, she was in the lobby

of this building two weeks ago. I should say, let me just get real. I was standing with her in the lobby of this building two weeks ago. She's not small. And I don't mean, I'm not, I'm not calling her fat. I'm saying, let me just get real. I was standing with her in the lobby of this building two weeks ago. She's not small. And I'm not saying I'm not calling her fat. She's just like a, yeah, she's a big lady. So the deep voice kind of makes sense to me now.

I guess. She did always kind of have a deep voice. I have to say this. I think that the hills, I'm going to watch it, obviously. But I also think like, it's very glossy. And it's very of a time when we thought that, like reality TV was trying to be taken seriously and these people were trying to be aspirational away.

And now we know that they're not, like they're just like us, except they're desperate to be on television again. And the thesis statement of the show seems to be fame created a lot of problems in my life. So I think the answer is to just get back on TV and be more famous and maybe I can fix it with my new fame. And that could spiral out into complete crazy.

And Pam Anderson seems wild that her son is on this and she was just completely out of control. Her opening statement was like, I Trump got elected, I moved to Paris. Don't eat junk food, it was like wild. And there could be a lot of potential here. But I also think like it's also very glossy and it seems extremely staged.

And in an era where we know how much of reality TV is real and how much is fake, I need it to be more closer to real and let you know that it's flattering. I think they, I think they less flattering too. I think they were like, I, I, I, I, yeah, I mean, I saw like a, um, like we all know Brody Jenner's eyelashes go past

just like fucking nose. However, the way that he was talking to his wife, like there's been no discussion of the fact that that he's got pretty abusive psychological relationship with his wife, and on Vanderbump rules, we would have been talking about that for the whole pilot. She wants to have a baby, okay?

He's sleeping in a truck. Whoever she has, she's got a common to her for suggesting they have a baby. No, I mean, that was the plot of Brody's like, polite was like, yeah, my wife wants to have it. It's like so fake. Also, it's like, your wife does one of a baby with you. Also, Heidi and Spencer are wearing crystals

around their neck. I think their house is such a bummer to me. I just like looked around the house with the background. I'm like, I don't know guys, like all that reality show money and isn't Spencer from like a rich family. It just feels like, as much as shoes on the floor and stuff. Like, I know why it happens to me. No longer, it's just a family.

Why is it happening to you? Yeah, exactly. I mean, I think we can all agree the best moment when Pam Anderson was on the show. Oh my God, incredible. She was the only real person on the show. Yeah, I'd like to see more of her, hopefully we will. I think Heidi and Stephanie are also starting.

Justin Bobbi's great, Justin Bobbi's great, but the conversation we had with Adrina was like a non-sequitur. It was like so edited together. It was edited like but not even edited well They weren't like oh we can turn into a conversation. They were like you know she was like, yeah I'm really thinking about the dolphins and he's like so do you want to order like a drink or what and then she's like You know my marriage ended poorly and he's like so yeah, then I got the I got it tuned up and we went for a ride And it's like what is happening? Why are you having a conversation? You think do you like motorcycle still? He's like yeah, and then they stare at each other for a full minute while a song plays and then we go to commercial He's like yeah, I do and I'm like feel the rain on you know, I guess so

Like they're so man and people are like oh wow a dream of Justin Bobby's the guy got away It's like no dude. He on the show was definitely full dick He definitely was like I don't want to put labels on stuff babe and like they never kissed I think and also ghosted her constantly. It's not like there was some like amazing passion between those two It was like Justin Bobby's a model Adrina liked him He was doing his best to impersonate Johnny Depp, which he's still doing He was succeeding at it in every way

End of story. I just think especially they all went on tours after the show ended like five or six years out. They went on little media tours where they said the show was very fake and staged and blah blah blah. I mean, it ended on a like a sound stage. And we all know that. So the fix for that to me would be to make the show as real as say or as slightly more real than say like housewives or something.

Real to the point of the Vanderpump rules or shows that I feel like this is not a beneficial edit to you. This is like gritty and gross and like, and not aspirational. And to come back and make it so glossy, I thought was kind of a weird disappointment. I hope that MTV sees what they need to be and we get there. But it is an odd thing to exist in 2019 media.

It's a weird, the hills is a weird thing to bring back because it's of an era of just like, of Perez Hilton who then was also on the screen. Perez Hilton is on the show. Is the character? Like was this like weird emo beard or whatever it was? He gave my tweets about the show and I was like, you full on searched me up.

Oh my God, Perez. Anyway, let's talk about something else. Let's talk about should we go back to what else is going on? What else happened? Is there more tech stuff? So Twitter has decided it will start hiding harmful or violent tweets from celebrities and politicians but not deleting them or banning those tweets.

What does that even mean? I don't understand. They're gonna put a little notification like a gray box up that says like warning. This tweet contains sensitive material, but they won't delete those accounts or ban those users because they're cow-towing to Republicans who are like, I should be allowed to threaten the lives

of Jews and gay people in blacks, and I hate the Latinos and the immigrants and look at these bitches in hose. Whoa. And they're like, instead of banning them for using that language or that rhetoric or that like whatever, they've decided that their solution is because they're like, instead of banning them for using that language or that rhetoric or that, like, whatever, they've decided that their solution is because they're so newsworthy,

these posts are so newsworthy, they simply have to exist. So they're gonna put them behind a warning. So like, all of Trump's tweets will be behind like a gray box that says, this is sensitive content. I mean, that's a click view. That's better. Does it improve it? I guess it seems like a way for them to get out of just banning people.

But you're less likely to immediately react and even pay attention if it's just like blocked out. Sure. They should continue to do both. But they're not going to do it on Trump. No, of course not. They definitely have a special switch. It's like never, never, never Trump.

They're never, they're never Trump. They're never Trump has never applied any of our rules to Trump because otherwise our business would crater and then we would have to work for a living. No offense Twitter, but I think you know what's up. Yeah, I don't know. I guess that I think it's actually a good thing personally. Should we take out the democratic debate last night? I guess we should.

Oh my God. Fucking free for all circus. The moderators had no clue what they were doing. I'm like, Chuck Todd, and people on the stage. Chuck Todd is the fucking worst. Chuck Todd was really bad. circus the moderators had no clue what they were doing I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like,

I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I's like, what are you even talking about? He's like, so you want to repeal the second amendment. It's like, dude, shut the fuck up. Like, where are these questions coming from? Like, did you, who gave you the questions? They had sound issues. Oh, that was embarrassing. Beta O'Rourke was speaking in Spanish. Very bad high school Spanish. And then Cory Booker, Beta talked about that. And then DeBosio talked about having a black child. And Cory Booker. True. He is true, he does. He definitely does.

But Corey Buccher, the second that either of them did that, he was like, I was gonna do that. And then quickly also did it. And it was just sweaty. I mean, Corey Buccher, I mean, I think what happened with Beto is like Corey Buccher was definitely planning on like dropping some Spanish in. Yeah.

And then Beto did it first. I don't know, he's like, wow, this viral meme, like Corey Buccher looking at him. It's like, I think Corey Buccher just is like, that's how he looks. Like, he's just looking over there. Yeah. Like, I don't think he was like, he was doing a special, like, look for him. Um, but Elizabeth Warren had an okay night. She'd nobody let her talk. Nobody let her talk. I mean, classic bullshit. Casino had a very strong night. No, surprisingly, de Blasio. I was like, where is this guy? But he got canceled. He just said said something about like he said something that was like it is offensive to

cubans in my army i don't understand like where is this guy when it comes to like who was on stage yesterday when it comes to day-to-day being a politician well new york is a tough environment okay tough city in the world tellsy gabbert had a single gray streak like rog oh she totally look like an x-men character i was like she, she looks like an X-Men, like an X-Men. And she was talking like fucking striker.

I don't know, yeah, exactly. There were several guys on that set. There were like, Jay Inslee, is he the one? I don't know which one he is, he looks like the general in like, he's like the general in like a sci-fi movie who's like getting the troops pumped up and then immediately gets killed by an alien or whatever. Is he the guy who is like the square head?

Yeah. I was literally like several times like I who is this person. When they get on stage, I'm like there are several men here I do not know. They need every single candidate was frustrated that they didn't get time to speak or make their case. But guess what? There's fucking 50 people on stage.

They're all talking over each other. The moderators aren't holding anyone to account to answer an actual question. They need to narrow this field down. It's like a joke at this point. I'm sorry. We really, we cannot have a 900 candidates. No, look, here's the thing. First off, there's another one tonight, which is insane. Also, it was painful to watch. Like, I don't, here's the funny thing. And Lauren, I was talking about this. Like, they're like, we're having debates that are so outside the realm of sanity. They're like, people are like, we're not like, what should we do about climate change?

Because of Trump, we're like, should we do something about climate change? The debates are like abortion. It's not like, what's the best way to, you know, make sure Roe v Wade is protected. We're like, should women be able to have an abortion? These are the questions. We're like, literally, it's not like um what's the way what's a way to reform immigration we're like the cons there's kids dying in immigration related concentration camps is that good or bad like that's that like we are our discourse has been so reduced to bullshit that you've got a bunch of people who basically by the way

largely agree on almost everything like these are not people with disparate opinions. I mean, they are like, yeah, like, does Jay Inslee think that we should, you know, I mean, it comes down to, Elizabeth Warren won't shit talk capitalism and Bernie Sanders won't say he dislikes guns. There's your fundamental difference between those two candidates. They're fundamentally the same.

I was literally elected by the NRA, but I digress. Um, there's an article about it, check it out. Uh, I just think we either need to lean into the Trump of it all. Let's talk about Eugene Carroll and her, her, her very credible claim of sexual abuse or lean completely out of it and stop having questions that are like, is, is concentration camps bad and say, we all agree that they're bad. What are you going to do to stop this practice in the future if another Trump were to get elected?

What legislation can you pass to protect human rights in the future? We either need to lean all the way into the Trump nonsense and dramatic and get attention or lean all the way out and fucking actually say what you want to do. And to have Elizabeth Warren on stage who has a million policy documents, not have a chance to say anything about policy?

Specifics? It's somewhat hard to believe. The other thing that's crazy is, I'm glad that Bernie and the Bernie crew and everybody on the hard left has pushed the conversation further left. I don't think any of this is truly like, I mean, it is, you know, for me, I'm like,

go as left as humanly possible. I'm very happy for you to like be like, let's socialize healthcare. But, so that doesn't seem radical to me. I mean, one of the things I pointed out last night in which I stand by and even though I would hate some of those people to be president, I really would. There wasn't a person who I saw speaking

who wouldn't be a better person than Donald Trump. I mean, of course. I don't wanna be that guy. I know we have to pick the best of them. I know, but a small plug with a brain issue would be a better. But I know I say this all the time. It's just like, we're not, the battle is not for

the hearts and the minds of Democrats. Like it isn't. Okay. Democrats largely agree. They are going to vote for the Democratic candidate, which is why Trump, but the reason Donald Trump is president is not because Donald Trump was so radicalized all of the right wing. It's because the right wing votes for the right wing candidate and they voted for Donald Trump. There was not an enormous turnout for Donald Trump. It wasn't like a landslide turnout. He won by 70,000 votes. He lost a popular vote by 3 million.

It was a fucking fluke, probably a hack, but at any rate. The reality is like we're talking like, we gotta bring the Republicans around. We gotta bring the moderates around. It's like, no, we don't actually. You just need to get like 70,000 dickheads who didn't vote last election to go and fucking vote.

That's it. It's not rocket science folks. The debate no longer is about can we convert centrists and Republicans to Democrats? It's about how many new Democrats can we make and how can we get them to go and vote for the things that they want? Like the problem is that we don't vote for the people.

So it's like the whole thing is like, I would honestly rather than they thin the field down to eight candidates or so, that even seems a lot to me. And then let's see how inaction they are doing at convincing people to be excited about them versus angry at Trump. I wanna see like inaction them campaigning and then some debates and then let's narrow it down to whoever's strategy to get people excited about them versus an angry at Trump. I wanna see like inaction them campaigning

and then some debates and then let's narrow it down to whoever's strategy to get people excited about them and excited about their future and pumped up in a way that I think Hillary didn't energize a lot of people. She energizes just certainly it's a group of people, but not enough. I would like to see inaction them doing it and then we can select from that group

who's doing it correctly. Because this was a giant waste of time I watched the whole thing I read pieces about it It was just a giant fucking circle jerk on a picture of Trump with a red X on his face And it's like I don't know why we're doing this Well, we're doing it because we got to introduce the voters to these great candidates to Jay and Lee and hear their ideas And then discard them immediately put it go ahead ahead line. They're like these most of these candidates are doomed already and it's like, yeah, we know That's the point of it. That's the thing. No one's gonna. There's gonna be 20 people They're just taking campaign and then eventually there's gonna be eight and then it's gonna be four and there's me two

And we'll pick one of the two and one of those two people better be able to fucking beat Donald Trump And that's all I'm sorry. It is all that fucking matters. Because I don't think any of those people want to put kids in concentration camps. They don't want it to see fucking fathers and daughters face down and fucking ditches dead. Like, I honestly believe that they will do a better job. That's it. So one of them will do a better job.

You hate Joe Biden? Cool, so do I, fuck Joe Biden. Yeah, he absolutely should not win. In the case that he wins the primary, you will all get in fucking line. Joe Biden should be the next president. I'm sorry, if he wins the nomination, you can bitch and moan all you want about how it should have been Bernie

and Bernie would have won all that shit. But like, do you actually think that Joe Biden's worse than Trump and by the way, if you say yes, you're out of your fucking mind. That's the thing. You are like literally, you need to go to a doctor and get your brain checked to see if it's

actually a bunch of rice crisps in there instead of brain matter. Like, brain matter. Should be Bernie or Elizabeth Warren or somebody like that. That's absolutely who I'm pulling for. But if it's fucking Ted Bundy, the ghost of Ted Bundy and Charles Manson are the ticket, I will vote for them. I would rather intelligence is dramatic. How do I know how evil?

You know, get the... The ghost of Ted Bundy. I mean, what can he really do? You know i mean can he can he even push the button to new stuff behind the that i have had a that out of town kidding i would also be had a stop talking about politics uh... okay well i

was going to bring up the fact that the supreme court knocked down the census question about i can't i can't i think i don't yes they took gave us one took one yeah and they are like they're like we're up to every man to k but not ask if you're a citizen on the census. Well, listen, you know what? The Lord give us the Lord take it the way. We're fucked. They're going to Jerry Mandarin that shit. I haven't. No, no, it's you can't Jerry Mandarin. I mean, that we should

get voting Democrats and they can Jerry Mandarin. We should know. We should vote in Democrats and they should pass legislation to prevent gerrymandor can be done i know alright let's talk about something else what if michael connell slipped into a sausage machine you know like that shredded him up and then he got turned into like hamburger i'm the snow i propose nothing just a thought what what what would happen to be cool i'm asking for that what would happen? It'd be cool. I'm not asking for a doubt. No need that.

What would happen? You would need the hamburger. I don't need turtle meat. I don't know what turtles taste like actually, but just saying like imagine. I'm gonna say I'm gonna do it. It's amazing you think that he hasn't sold his soul for invulnerability.

He'll slip it there just like, they're just being a black spider. Slip it out. Slip it out of the other side like a dark energy. Like the roots and ferngully. Yeah. And just a reform himself like T1000. Yeah. Anyhow, go ahead.

I was gonna say in other news, do you wanna talk about these deep fake nudes? There's now an app I got so much shit when I said that that that app that would take women's makeup off was misogynistic and gonna lead to bad stuff. I went viral. I was made fun of in Twitter videos. And now there's an app that will remove women's clothing and show you what they probably look like naked. Let's be clear.

That's rad. No, I'm kidding. Um, it's fucking well. Listen, people have been photoshopping boobs on people for ages. Sure, but notice that it only happened to women in this app. There's no setting to make me think I think that's they need a V2 with Dicks. They need to know that this is male but this is horrifying. You know what I I'm not I'm not saying it's good. I absolutely am sure that the Apple make me look better than I actually look naked. I did this is where this is where you need to focus your attention is like what could it do for you?

Yeah, make me look better. No look I mean everything all the all the I mean. On the one hand I don't care. On the other hand I also don't care. On the other hand, I also don't care. But then on the third hand, I do think it's bad, but also like, I'm not surprised. And also, there's no way this wasn't going to happen. I mean, whatever it is that can get people nude

or show you nudity, someone's going to come up with. Like, it's just true, it's a fact. Yeah, we started a whole parade this Sunday, just for that purpose. It's a fact. I'm sorry, a whole parade this Sunday just for that purpose. It's a fact. I'm sorry. People want to see nudity. I guess. And men, and men who are who are very bad and should be gross, should be sent to an island, just put their meat grinders like Mitch McConnell, should be sent to fire island. Men who are very bad. Yeah, they really should. Are going to make an app that was like, oh, it's

a picture of a person who isn't nude, now they are nude. Of course, and there's nothing we can do to prevent it. All we can do is make sure that kids have classes in elementary school that help them distinguish between a real nude and fake nude. Nude literacy is the best that we can hope for. Kids out there, wear condomsoms take prep, be prepared, and don't let anybody bully you based on your body.

That's all I have to say about all of them. You know, your body's a wonderland. I wish someone- I wish someone- I wish that there had been more comprehensive media literacy and sex education when I was in school. Because guess what I don't ever think about, anything I learned in fucking AP bio.

I never think about it. If I went into biology, I probably would. I definitely use the things I learned in fucking AP bio. I never think about it. If I went into biology, I probably would. I definitely use the things I learned in regular biology. Why is there not like a media literacy, like there's homeic? Why is there not like? Well, this is the future. We can't.

So we get to identify deep fakes. There's a rabbit hole. But it's fucked up. Deep nudes. What do they call it? What do they be called? Nude fakes? Deep nudes.

I don't know. Sure. I don't know. It was just like AI deep fake nudes. I think it was called deep nudes. It's something like that. Deep nudes is good, it's pretty catchy. Yeah, like it is, I eat nudes, I'm like a party. Like on the one hand, I'm like,

this is totally reprehensible. On the other hand, I'm like, it's sort of harmless in the grand scheme of things. And I think it's also like, it's not like, it's not like this technology. But it's also not like, there's any, like this is not unique technology.

Just it's like, expedited the Photoshop unique technology. Just like expedited the Photoshop. Yeah. You know, it's basically a Photoshop. I'm sorry, I'm not arguing for it. Yeah. I don't think it should exist. I just think like Facetune being so easy and instant and I'm not saying that I'm using it.

I don't think Facetune should exist. Make it worse than Photoshop. I don't think Facetune is so easy. I don't think Facetune should exist. I don't think people should be able to like filter their faces and make themselves look. No, just cover yourself in Kim Kardashian's body. No, I think makeup is bad and we should ban.

Body makeup. We should just be who we are naturally. I'm kidding. I just saying, do whatever makes you happy. But not if it hurts other people. If it hurts other people, stop doing it. If they want to be hurt, you can keep doing it. But have a safe word.

It's my advice. Okay. Well, in other techie news, line is introducing that that line is an app if you're an American or European line is an app. It's like a messaging app. It's social media that is very popular in Asia. They're introducing a social credit score based on both your financial data and other data. It's collected about you as a person, similar to the government run social credit score in China. It is opt in, but it is like further showing that the trend is towards evaluating people based on their online behavior for basic financial services or eventually government services, eventually commercial services, similar to a credit score and we all know credit scores are just great and they always work.

And to me, the reason I found the story kind of unsettling is that I am already very unsettled by the culture of Googling someone and looking not even at their content, just how many followers they have on Twitter, YouTube or Instagram and then deciding if they're worth your time and consideration as a person. I see that a lot in New York. I see that in media and in LA. I see that even in my hometown. I get a lot of like, people are very excited to ask me things because I have like a certain amount of Instagram followers or like, I'm verified on Twitter and I always think like, I have nothing to offer you. I don't have these through like earning them or like deserve, like I'm just a person who just happened into, I work in a specific industry and just happened into a couple of these followers.

But I see people completely disregard job hires. I see people completely disregard booking for comedy shows without even knowing if the person's funny based on their followers. I mean, followers you have. No, I'm not asking you. That's the question. That's the question.

I mean, followers they have. And it's a saying, I hear that shit all the time. I hear that followers you have. No, I'm gonna ask you, that's the question people ask. That's the question. I mean, followers they have. And it's a saying. I'm not here that shit all the time. I hear that all the time. I have pitched guests for other projects that I work on and I have constantly been told, will they bring in followers? And even if someone has a fake number of followers,

like I'm like, this isn't even real. This is blown up. They will rather book that person that someone who'd be super funny and great, make great con. Why do you think Dane Cook got popular? But I feel like. My feel like when we formalize this into a social credit score that a private company

or a government is running based on factors about your fucking Amazon purchases and what you Google search. And like, this is not gonna go any more good. And we're gonna have a, we're getting closer and closer to the society, to a dystopian society that conservatives seem to think we are when they get banned from YouTube. But we're getting closer and closer to a place where it's like,

you didn't want read enough government, pro-government propaganda materials, and so now you can't take the train. Well, that's happening in China. Yeah. And for, yes, it's opt-in in Japan now, but Facebook is opt-in and try getting things done in a professional environment without Facebook now. I mean, I think it's, I think it's, you know,

it's inevitable to some extent, but also it's in our control. I mean, I know I can't, I know everybody can't do it, but like you don't need to be on social network. I mean, you do. I do. I mean, do we all need to be on social networks? But like my credit scores are frozen

because of a bunch of data leaks from Target or whatever. And I- They are? Yes, they're currently frozen. But I have not the best credit, but not because I'm financially irresponsible because I never took out a credit card because I knew myself enough to know that I wasn't mature enough to handle that. And now I'm turning 30, supposedly, I don't know if that's true, but I'm turning 30

and I don't- I have never had a credit card. I'm turning 30. And my credit is terrible and I need to fix it, but that is an evaluation of me. I was actually so responsible that I knew I shouldn't borrow that money. Do you know what I mean? Well, but the whole credit thing is a different kind of,

or the whole, all the credit. It's a performance for an algorithm. I mean, the credit's gross stuff is also kind of a social scam and construct. Of course it is. I mean, it's just an extension of that. It's just a trick. But I mean, of course, the credit's. Of course it is. I mean, it's just this is just an extension of that. It's just a trick. But I mean, of course the credit score stuff does have some,

you know, it's like all this person's massively in debt. Don't give, don't sell them a house. In the extreme cases, yes. But there are also ways you can manipulate those scores and get yourself perfect credit. No, that's right. But let's go up. Let's go up a little bit.

You know, it's not just, I mean, the whole thing is rigged. You know, the whole concept of, I mean, just, you know it's not just i mean the whole thing is rigged you know the whole con the whole concept of i mean just you know that the entire banking system and the way that we judge you know who's viable and you know for alone or i mean there are some things it's like well can they repay a debt sure but you know it's constructed to

you know her to certain group of people but if it gets to a place where it's like, you have a lot of verified followers on this social media app and you purchase fiber and see regularly, so you seem to be taking that. And also, you mean fiber like the kind that you put in your body. Okay. And also you call your mom every day.

So we're assuming you're a great person. What if your life is just different? You don't take supplements because you don't like that for yourself, but you stand really good shape offline. Like you stand pretty good shape, you eat pretty healthily. You don't have a ton of verified followers because you don't value that. You're just someone who's working on their own on their own projects and your mom died.

And suddenly you're being compared to people who fit the cookie cutter mold of what a good, quote unquote, social score person is. And I just think we're getting to a place Where like eventually being gay is gonna be a knock on my social score Yeah, and it's fucking disgusting and weird. We have to like reject this as a society. We have any Japanese listeners Please invite me over. Yeah, we'd like to come in Japan. We're ready to get right now. Um look. It's bad It's sad. I do think I do think um I think as we regulate more of our, I mean, as it is regulated by governments

and also as we self-regulate more of our behavior online and in digital spaces, there are solves for this that don't require us to ask a system to change. I think we have to change our behavior within the system. What I'm saying is we need to live off the grid. We need to go full gorilla get out of here like Charles Manson in the desert again Exactly like Charles The Christie met a Christie alley Charles Manson hour Charles Manson and his good buddy Theor Bundy living in the desert

No, but like I think I do think there is like a little bit of a we need a disconnect Yeah, you know, I think I do think there is like a little bit of, we need to disconnect. Yeah. And we're already doing it. I mean, we're sort of doing it. I think I did all the time about just moving to a cabin with no internet. All you have to do is just get a bunch of money and then make sure you're near a hospital

because what if you're really far away from the hospital and then you die? I mean, that's my biggest fear personally about living off the grid is like, where's the nearest, I mean, I literally lived in the house recently. I was like, where's the nearest hospital? It's like an hour drive.

I'm like definitely not moving there because that's like one slip in the nearest, I mean, I literally looked at the house recently, and I was like, where's the nearest hospital? It's like an hour drive, and I'm like, definitely not moving there, because that's like one slip in the barn. Next thing you know. First step, health insurance. Second step, apotheosis. Exactly. Exactly. All right, let's talk about nice things

and get out of here. Let's do it, it's hot. All right, I have a few nice things. Number one, I'm gonna say goodbye to Casey, who is leaving the outline. She had a great career here. However, however, the day she told us that she was heading out my MacBook keyboard broke. Oh, I took that as a sign. However, Apple is now providing free fixes, so I'll be going on Saturday.

I got her impact. I'm gonna go get my NK fixed as a tribute to both Johnny I've NK C. K.A.C.'s legacy, you know, will miss her. You know, she's a wonderful person. She's going to work advice, which, you know, is a wonderful organization. Or so I'm told by Shane Smith. No, I'm kidding. I've never talked to Shane Smith. He's out. Um, Gavin McGuinness once again, McGuinness. Yeah. Yeah, great great man. I had a drink with him once by the way. It was well, let's talk about it later. It was really bad.

We don't need any season to see show up while we're talking. He was like, read this and culture book. It'll change your mind. I was like, yeah, I will never read it. And even if I did, it definitely won't change my mind. At any rate, at any rate, goodbye Casey. Casey, yes, goodbye. Best wishes. if I did it definitely won't change my mind at any rate. Can I have any rank? Goodbye Casey.

Casey, yes. Goodbye. Best wishes. And on to the future of the future section, which we'll have some news about in the very near future, actually. But yeah, no, I mean, I've got keyboard to bad. I dread. I'm every day.

I wait. I'm waiting for the key to go. Elias is key. Our COO, his key, just, his end key just went. Oh, that's mine. My end key. Our COO is key. Just is end key. Just went. Oh, that's mine. My end key. Yeah, the end key can't type anything. Nope. I have to do one. I have to do one. One long press. I get multiple ends. Then I delete the extra end. Yeah, I finish typing. That's every sentence.

Throw a time concert. If I can't type fucking and sucking, there's no point in typing. Also, can't type typing. It's a nightmare. Can't type nightmare. Speaking of fucking and sucking. Back to nice thing, I did two pride centric events. I have a very, a lot. I have a very, a segway. I have a very long weekend of pride should coming up that I'm just like, okay, we get it.

But we get it. You're gonna be boning all weekend. No, yeah, I'll be doing all of that. I'm already tired. However, I did a show themed about the real house lives. That was a Broadway review that was pride themed and that was very fun and funny. It certainly did not give my best performance ever, but I did give a performance and I had a really good time with really good people and it was just a

good reminder that like you don't need any excuse to hang out with people who are really good musicians and do something funny is a good excuse Even if it's something as stupid as like reality TV. I also went last night to the Stonewall 50 pride official kickoff event at Barclays Center There was a lot of famous people there. There was like the cast of posts Cindy Lopper, Sierra Todd Jirkall who you know he gave her performance I was hosted by Wippy Goldberg. Um, Shaka Khan performed absolutely, absolutely transcendent. Shaka Khan, I felt, I felt God in that room that night and, uh, and I am a, a functional atheist.

Uh, it was, it was wonderful. It was really nice. Um, it went on a little long, but I have to say it was a great way and not an alcohol-centric way to spend pride. And I think that we can get a little caught up in the like boozing and drugs and the partying of pride. And that's really not the point. And it was really fulfilling. And the family of Matthew Schafford gave a very beautiful speech.

And I have to say I made some friends in the audience. It was a good time. So that was nice. I'm listening to a podcast called Business Wars, which seems to have ripped its idea straight from that book, Console Wars, which was about Sega versus Nintendo and that era. So our name.

They do like a Ditas versus Nike, or Coca-Cola versus Pepsi, and they take the most dramatic and sort of impactful times in those companies and document them. And it's really good and fascinating. I think it's from Wondery. It's really, it's good and it's fun. And if you're any kind of nerd or geek,

there are whole seasons that you will just, delicious. I was never interested in sneaker drama. The Kanye West Yeezy's Nike Adidas of it all. And I walked away being like, that shit was fascinating and dites an entire generation. And I also learned that the creators of Adidas and I walked away being like, that shit was fascinating and dites in entire generation. And I also learned that the creators of Adidas and Puma were brothers who stopped speaking to each other and went their separate ways with their companies

because one of them loved Hitler and the other one didn't. Yeah, one of them was like all day I dream of sex. The other one was like, all day I dream of Hitler. I don't know if that was the way it went. Was it the Puma stands for dead juice? No, it was Puma that's Puma the Nazi guy. Puma's not to.

Oh, well, fuck Puma. Yeah. The one named Adolf, not a Nazi. Ironic. Ironic. And then my last thing is that I had been taking an edible every day for like a year. As a stress relief, things got kind of dark

in my mental health journey in the last few weeks. And I had been depending on both CBD and edibles to give me a sense of unwinding at the end of the night. And it got to a point where I just was eating so much and just not feeling sluggish and not comfortable. And I've now pushed it to once a week. And I feel like a brand new man. So hugs not drugs kids.

And that's all my nice things. That was a lot of nice things. And I have to drugs kids and that's all my nice things. That was a lot of nice things and I have to say, it's an overwhelming amount of nice things. And it makes me feel bad. For a bad week I had some nice highlights. It made me feel like deeply inadequate because there's no way I'm going to list nearly as many nice things.

I want to talk about a not nice thing. Oh, okay. As a nice thing or is it? That's a fully bad thing. I have a dog that's killing me. I have a small dog. No, you don't even know what happened. If I told you the story about what happened last night,

I've read it on Twitter. No, that was the pre story. That was the pre story. Okay, tell us the story. Tell us the story. So not Penny psychically read that story and like did the worst in most insane, most nasty thing ever.

I only want to talk about it because it's so bad. I'll tell you. Tell us. Penny has a, Penny has a condition called a collapse trachea, which is that her trachea closes up sometimes, and she starts coughing. It's a, it's apparently nonfatal. She actually seems to have some control over

everyone I can tell. She's using the trachea card. She seems to do the cough a lot when she wants something and then like she wants to come up on the sofa. If you put her on the sofa, the coughing stops. It's a Pavlovian. It's definitely Pavlovian. And yeah, she's doing it like crazy last night.

So I locked her in our, we have a den. And I closed the door as the den. I'm like, you're just gonna sleep in here tonight. I can't handle it. She scratched the door of the den all night. I would felt like all night, I slept about an hour. And then I woke up at six in the morning, she was scratching, I'm like,

okay, I'm just gonna go let her out, this is insane. And I opened the door. And what I saw was the most shocking, disgusting, upsetting thing, I mean, wanna talk about it, that she pissed and shit in puke? She puke. First of all, she'd gotten into, we have a cabin, a hold on, hold on.

We have a cabin that has liquor bottles in it. She knocked a bottle of Lole Blanc, which is like an aperteef. Good for peck. Into the, onto the floor. And the floor was covered. I don't mean like a spa. I don't mean like, then she drank it and threw up.

There was this same puke everywhere. just fucking vomit all over the room I mean literally was a half the room the little a was covered in vomit she didn't drink it it just was laying there she might have licked it up in the vomit I'm sorry I took a picture of it but I'm not gonna show it's the other show it was so there are no bad dogs She's a bad dog. Penny's trachea collapsed for gay rights. I support Penny. I support her marriage to terrorize her family. Sorry, this is such a bad way to end the podcast. She's a wonderful dog who can be very loving, but she's ultimately a Satan from hell. She's a devil from the depths of Hades and she needs to go and I can't do anything about it because we love her and she's cute and Zelda's a big fan

She's a member of the family can't just off them. Yeah, you don't always like members of your family, but you love them That's right. She's like my racist uncle She's like the she's the equivalent. It's like yeah, cuz I don't speak to my racist. I'm like how do I get? I'm like how do I get you out of my house? How do I get you? I need you to leave. You're annoying everybody here. But like your family. I want Penny to speak at my wedding. God, what a fucking nightmare.

I'm sorry, okay, here's my nice thing. I watch Aquaman for the first time on a plane. You ready? Best movie ever made. Greatest action movie of all time. Greatest acting performances. Best CGI. Most incredible action sequences. Most handsome star, best looking co-star.

Nicole Kedman. Willem DeFoe. That's not part of the review, it just is a thing. Real smoke show. Dolph Lundgren is in it. Real smoke show. That may be fucking insane. I'm sorry.

See Aqua Man. It's wild. It's the, it's so... Vincent Chase Witches. It's so. It's the it's so Vincent Chase witches. It's so Wet it's just it's so ridiculous dripping. It's so absurd. It is the most absurd So it is like the it is the it is like I don't I don't remember the entourage Aquaman thing But I think they kind of made like the entourage Aquaman movie. I think that's what they did and it works

It actually works. It's the best DC movie. It's the best DC movie hands down Hands down and it's also like five hours long. I watched with my dad a Little bit of it with my dad after I saw the planks. I didn't finish it We'd have put subtitles on because it was so loud Black to me while you watched a star is born. Oh, oh, I watch a star is born. Terrible movie. Horrible performances. No, great performances. Horrible story. Terrible. It's a cheesy, and so loud.

Lifetime movie with very good music. But I guess they Bradley Cooper's accent or whatever he's doing. Wait a minute, dude. I wanna go to the walker. He's like doing Batman voice. He's like country Batman. I'm not wearing hockey pants, Ali. Piss all over my top.

Oh god. Piss pic movie. Oh, real downer. I don't know, man. It's been a fucking week. To end on a good note. Yeah, I'll see you. Also, John and I picked our wedding day.

Oh my god. When is it? Leap day 2020, February 29th. Oh. You're so happy. Another one of my skims. day, 2020, February 29th. Oh, you're so happy. Another one of my skim. Also, but it's in February. So limit the number of.

But it's in February. Where are you gonna get married in February? Oh, we have a plan. Not telling the listeners. Is it, can it be in tropical destination? No, I'll come there. Let me please give me a, I need a one wedding to travel to. We're going to Amsterdam for our anniversary in October

and then we're going to Tokyo as our honeymoon in February. It's gonna be great. It's another part of my scheme to keep the number of anniversaries down so I look younger. Do you, speaking of younger Nico Torturella's in the building today and they are hotter than all of Aquaman put together. So let's end on that pride note.

It's positive. It's happy. I guess so. They hang out with Hillary Duff. I feel bad that I told the penny story. On the plus side, she was in very good spirits after I cleaned up all the puke. I mean, she really seemed happy. I guess that's my nice thing. I come. Anything I can do for it, you know. Legend. Alright, let's get the fuck out of here.

No, you gotta get out of here. It's so hot. Legend. All right, let's get the fuck out of here. No, you get to get out here. It's so hot. Bye. Well, that is our show for this week. We'll be back next week with more tomorrow and as always, I wish you and your family the very best. Though, I've just been sending the email containing deep nudes of your whole life. of your whole