Tomorrow - Episode 0: Vampires, Please Contact Me

Episode Date: April 8, 2015

In this preview of Tomorrow with Joshua Topolsky, the tables are turned and the host is placed in the hot seat. His former colleague, journalist Paul Miller, forces Josh to face the prying existential questions of the dreaded Proust Questionnaire. Subscribe now, Tomorrow premiers on Thursday, April 16. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

[♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ Hey, and welcome to the tomorrow teaser. I'm Josh Wittepolski, your host, and this is my new podcast. Well, this will be my new podcast. It's called Tomorrow. It's not happening tomorrow, but this is the start of something magical, something wonderful. And I'm going to talk to a lot of people, going to talk about a lot of interesting things. This is not a full episode, but I thought,

maybe you know me, maybe you don't know me, but this could be an opportunity for us to get to know each other a little bit better. As a little intro to who I am, and maybe what this podcast will be like, I'm going to answer some questions from the Proust questionnaire, which is I've recently learned not a questionnaire

that Proust wrote, one which he simply answered. It is a selection of big questions about life, the universe, and human emotion. And Paul Miller is going to read some questions to me and I'm going to respond. Please don't hold back. Yes. Well, you know me. Always holding back. Josh, what is your most treasured possession?

I could be a person. Can you possess a person? That's the next question. What is my most treasured people as property? What is my most treasured possession? I actually get attached to inanimate objects all the time. I feel, I remember feeling bad when I sold my last car. I felt guilt that we were partying. I don't think I can answer that question because I have a, I think I have a weird problem where I get very affectionate about inanimate objects. Not sexually, but you know. So it's just whatever. It's not just whatever.

I mean, there's certain things. My grandfather's watches. I get it. You don't want to answer the question. My stall wall and you're gonna move on. You know, my wedding ring. That's good. I mean, what are possessions anyhow, really, man?

Think about it. What is the trait you most deplored yourself? My love of inanimate objects. Yeah, me too. No, the trait I most deploring yourself. My love of inanimate options. No, the trade I most deploring myself, I'm selfish. I'm a very selfish person, and I think it's an awful trade. And I think I'm very selfish. What is your favorite journey?

I don't know. I don't understand that question. It makes me think of like the in the lead before time. Well, I also think it could be about like a drug trip. Oh, yeah. You know, like I love taking ecstasy that journey. And then watching the land before the last. Number one thing to do. That's a journey. I don't know. I actually, maybe I don't have a favorite journey yet. I need to get one. But for now, ecstasy in the lab before time will have to do. What do you consider the most overrated virtue of a person of humanity? It could be yourself, but I think I mean just generally. I think it's referring to generally.

Most overrated virtue. Patience. Patience? Yeah. Is that a virtue? I think so. I think patience is, it's nice if you can do it. I don't think there's that much. I don't think there's some value in patience, but I think there's a lot of value in impatience too. What is the quality you most admire in a woman? I mean honestly the ability to make me laugh. Just smart, smart enough to make me laugh. Is that does that work? That's great. I guess that's very selfish.

Speaking of being selfish, that's the very selfish answer about what they are gonna do for me. But I'm impatient, so I don't wanna hear your good explain and everything about your answer. What is the quality of most minor in a man? Coolness. Like being able to be like looking really cool when you ride off on a motorcycle. Okay.

I think this is a good way. What is it? But let me think of the real answer there. I don't think I think it's the same quality. I don't make it as things to have a distinction between what it is. I think it's exactly the same quality. I think somebody who can make me laugh, who can crack me up and do it with intelligence. I think that's a great quality, no matter what,

no matter what juddables you have. How would you like to die? This is great. It's just right now, right? Now, I'd like to die now quietly. The question is, how would I like to die? Honestly, I'd like to not die. If I had my choice, I prefer to live forever.

And I would go to any lengths to make it happen. So vampires, please contact me. But I would like to die. I would like to be asleep, to be perfect on the night. I would like to go to sleep one night and never wake up again and not have any pain. If that's, if I have to die, so round up my friends and family, maybe they're in the next room or something. That seems like the politically correct answer there.

On what occasion do you lie? On what occasion don't I lie? I think, look, I think people are lying constantly. I think I lie, I do a little do a little bit of lying all the time, but usually it's just to save people from the things I know about them. What is your current state of mind? Anxious, excited, sweaty.

That's it. If you were to die and come back as a person or an animal, what do you think it would be? That's a great, that's a good one. This is a good one. This is a great question. If I were to die and I could come back as a person or an animal, would you see him a person at any point in time? Like a historical, historical person? Another one of these questions, which I skipped over is who are your real life heroes. So I think you could mix these together. I don't have any. You can be more adjwashing.

I think what I'd like to be, I'd like to come back as myself as a baby. Does that, can you say that? Does that fair? I'd like to come back as myself as a baby and do, and do all the things in my life right that I got wrong. Does reincarnation take you out of the flow of time? So can you be reinserted at any point or does it have to be? I don't know. In the future. Sounds like the topic of a great

Christopher Nolan movie that he's got to be made. But here's what I'm saying. My answer is, if I can come back as myself, I'd like to be reborn and get my life even better. Do it right. Not that I haven't done it right, but would you be born in the same year that you were born? Ah, maybe. I mean, maybe. I don't know.

But then, if I can't be me, which is an incredibly self-centered answer to this question, I think, how would you feel about coming back as a woman? I'd be into that. I'd be into it. I don't know. I don't know. It's just too hard. It's really hard. I don't want to come back as an animal because I'll just get hunted, for sure. Mercelessly. Yeah, mercelessly hunted or become extinct. I would love, I'd say, I want to be an eagle because you can soar above the,

but an eagle lives for like three years or something. But think about what they see. What about an apple watch? I'd like to return to existence as a first generation iPod. So that's the teaser, but we will be on the air, the air, which doesn't exist, will be sent digitally to your device of choosing April 16th. First episode is a Thursday, the following episode on April 20th. And I think you're going to love the way you feel listening to this podcast.

Josh, I think this is going to be a great podcast. I hope you're right. Thank you, Paul. you