Tomorrow - Episode 48: Getting Left Behind With Paul Ford

Episode Date: April 11, 2016

Finally an update on the Dipperz empire with co-owner and podcast guest Paul Ford. Josh also learns about the deep sea work of the Octonauts, the number of Ponderosa Steakhouses left in America, and what excites the staff of NPR (hint, contrary to popular belief, it’s not Malcolm Gladwell). Whatever happened to the real-life Colonel Sanders? Who is Booba, where does he come from, and what does he want from us? On this episode, we get closer to answering these questions than any podcast has before, mostly because they didn’t ask them. If you don’t enjoy episode 48, Josh will bring Tomorrow’s new producer back to the city pound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey and welcome to Tomorrow, I'm your host Josh Wittepolsky. Today on the podcast, we discuss Ponderosa, the OctaNots, and film trailer reviews. I don't want to waste one second, so let's get right into it. My guest today is absolutely one of my favorite people in the media space. Just kidding. You're one of my favorite people in the whole world. Are you in the media space? My guest. You're one of my favorite people in the whole world. Are you in the media space? My guest today is of course Paul Ford. Hey, Josh.

Co-creator of Dippers, the chain restaurant, which has taken America and several other countries by storm. I never expected that I would have a leadership role in a global restaurant chain. That was focused on dipping. I mean, I feel the same way. I am, I'll admit that I'm disappointed that we have made one of breakthrough in France.

It is a problem, but the reality is that they don't, they want to dip what they want to dip. Right. They don't want to dip much. That's the thing about the French. You know what people may not know is that? On this podcast about, let's say, seven, eight years ago, but, or maybe, eight years ago,

but maybe more recently. You in a second season. We came up with the idea of a restaurant called Dipper's with a Z. That's right. Where you just dip things. It was really, you don't just dip things. Yeah, because it's also the flavored ice

as you can add to your beverages. You know, one of the things that I do create a variety of different flavors and sensations. One of the things I've been working on lately with the lab is a biscotti that won't just fall to pieces when you put it in coffee. And it turns out that no one has solved this problem. Two words for you.

Sagi biscotti. No, I know, but that's the thing. Hey, you can get about it. Dip the biscotti. But is there anything worse when you dip the biscotti? Disgott, no. Mm. You're not even saying. Dip scotti, it's bad. Is it dip the boscotti? But is there anything worse when you dip the boscotti? Discotti. No, mmm. You're just saying it.

Dibs scotti, it's bad. Boscotti, we make a range of dips that soften the boscotti, but also add flavor bursts. I know, but see, here's a flavor blast. Here's the issue. You ever drink that cup of coffee, you put the boscotti and the boscotti falls off, and then you know that there's a big,

a like, live mass of boscotti. Well, I don't dip my boscotti in. Okay, but I do, and a big, like, lie mass of a Scotty product. Well, I don't dip my Biscotti in. Okay, but I do, and a many people do, Josh. We're here, and actually, as we're expanding in the Chinese market, what we're seeing is there's a lot of Biscotti. I really have to think globally, you know. Source locally, think globally.

What I'm realizing is that the answer is actually not to stiffen the Biscotti, or even make it more porous, but to change the density of the coffee. Here's an idea for an ad campaign for this. It's something about biscotti's planking. It's like, and I'm thinking like, I'm thinking like monster truck voices,

and it's like, biscotti's like the plank, and then it's like something like that, but then it's like, no planking. It's just a lot of flashing biscotti. Are you ready? Yeah like no planking. It's just a lot of flashing, biscotti. Are you ready? Yeah, no planking. It's not like that. I feel that we're doing kind of fan service

for Dipper's YouTube. Really? Oh my god. Let's back up. We have a big announcement today. Oh my god. Before we get into the conversation with Paul, which we're going to get into, tomorrow has a new producer.

Those Paul do fake horn noise, which is actually pretty good. Our producer is Ryan. Can I say your last name? Do you mind? Ryan Hullahan. Any promo is good promo. Any promo is good promo. Ryan, first off, this is a little taste.

A little taste of what Ryan brings to the table. He has, we're actually recording in a new studio right now, and actually in the mid-roll studio, which is quite lovely. It's very nice. You're very far away though. Where I like it, I like this distance. It gives me good distance.

It makes me feel like I don't have to worry about my breath. That's what's important. I can see the entire deal. But Ryan has a mic, and he's actually in the room with us. This is a whole different experience, but Magnus is effectively dead to me. I won't think of him. I won't think of him. I won't talk about him.

He is a ghost. He is a ghost and he can't haunt me anymore. That's a good dude. I love Magnus. Good guy, great guy. It's too bad about him being dead to me. But Ryan is the new Magnus, really. When you think about it, and I'm very excited.

So Ryan, welcome to a nightmare of your own creation. I hope you enjoy it. So we'll see how this episode goes. Who knows, if he blows it out the door, Magnus is back in. Well, no Magnus has a... He's now, he's done. He's got a real, a large media organization now.

Dead to me. I was supposed to get coffee with him. Oh, interesting. Speaking of media organizations, Paul's been a tumultuous time in media. You're a media bon vivant. Observer. You're a media observer.

You write for the observers. Meeting is actually a media observer, as I think they call it. Now, you write for the newer public. I do have a contributing other. You love, you write on medium once in a while. Sometimes. I actually have a daily newsletter and a product.

You're a medium. Is this a beneficial thing that people know that you're, are you like an advisor to meeting them? I was an advisor to meeting them. I'm friendly with meeting them. You tell them you say, eh, don't do it. Take the, make the M look like an N. I don't, you know, is that your, I've given, I like the new logo because it looks like

an N. I've given feedback about a lot of things and it's a large organization and I feel that I'm heard but I feel that they're on their mission. Who else is an advisor that I might know? Can you talk about that? Not that I might know, the people might know. Like who advises medium, I'm curious. A Neil Dash, isn't it?

I love a Neil Dash. There's a couple of fans. Yeah, thanks, fan. I've been doing, I've been doing, been an advisor medium for many a year now. Yeah, many a year. Did you tell them to? Didn't tell them to do anything.

You weren't like, why don't you hire Stephen Levy? You didn't do that? No, no, they make decisions on their own. They don't come to you, they don't come to you expressly for this decision. Have you, you know, when I talk to Stephen, it's just like, I've read everything the guy has done. And it's just sort of weird.

Like it's just he rode hackers in 1984. And like, oh, that book was always there. Not that, not the film's not based on that. No, this is like the unrelated. This is the first book that really like summed up technology. The man has seen it all. He really has. He saw the whole industry, you know,

he's seen things you people wouldn't believe. Saw a lot of Steve Jobs, saw a lot of Bill Gates up close. Sure, like real close. Probably could, he's probably been able to smell most of the big billionaires in technology or whatever. Who do you think is the best smelling billionaire? I bet Bill Gates smells good now. I bet somebody advised him.

His wife, man. He seems to do everything really. I imagine Bill Gates smells like dove, like right there, like a dove. Like a clean, not, he's not wearing cologne, you know, he's just a clean guy. I said just imagine. He's a little you know probably. And who smells great? Oh, Elon Musk. I bet he's a bet and I bet it's musky too. I feel like he's a.

So he's at the office real. I'm a lot of Musk. I definitely would have some perfume perfume perfume. I'm gonna be honest. What is the word? Ryan, what's the word? Do you know perfume? Do you know? Parfumeer. Parfumeer. It's spelled it's spelled that way. I'm sure he's gone to it. Parfume I'm gonna be what is the word so Ryan what's the word? Do you know perfume? Do you know apart from your Spell it's spelled that way. I'm sure he's gone to a perfume. You're that's definitely not right I said and said I want you to make Elon's musk I mean, it's a good brand extension You must mosque would be a great Christmas something you could buy CVS

Okay, who I will I like's got, this is the worst, by the way, one of the worst shows so far. It's, it's, it's really, really well, this is a disaster. It's really, really bad. We're going to have to pick it up a lot. We're going to have to move forward. We got to stuff it up. Okay, Elon Musk probably, I mean, we're talking pretty much

exclusively about men in the technology industry and how they smell. There's probably, I don't want to be sexist. Well, there's probably going to move in that direction by all means. I'm just trying to think, are there any women in the technology industry and how they smell. There is probably, at least. I don't want to be sexist. Well, there's probably going to move in that direction by all means. I'm just trying to think, are there any women in the technology industry? Marissa Mayer.

Well, she's going to smell good. And Wajiki. Yeah, she's going to smell good too. Wajiki, I don't know how you pronounced her last name actually. I mean, we just got it. Not Jiki, that's for sure. That's definitely not it. I saw Marissa Mayer once in a vent.

There were more names I could keep going. At a Bloomberg event, she's the most put together human being I've ever seen who wasn't a celebrity. Who? Like Marissa Meyer, like her, like you just saw in your life. It's the basis celebrity. I mean, she is, right? I mean, she was just like the most, just put,

we would have a purely billionaires, I thought. Oh, you're right. Best smelling billionaires. Not just people in the technology. No, she's probably only worth a couple hundred millionaires. I assume actually maybe, I don't know if they are billionaires. Bill Gates is billionaire, but he smells good. No, I'm saying.

He's the woman that I just mentioned. It's actually one of something interesting about female billionaires. If you, we had a tool at Bloomberg, of the billionaires index, and it shows all of the world's billionaires, except for Bloomberg, it shows all of the world's billionaires, except for Bloomberg, because they don't write about Bloomberg. Well, you know, his name's on the napkin, that's enough. Nice, nice, nice, there's enough written.

But so if you can sort it by gender, sure, you can sort it by who has inherited money versus you know who I bet the Walmart family smells really good. Like there's a lot of billionaires. I don't know. The important thing is that this is a horrible topic. I don't know. I've got to move on.

You don't think the rich people don't. You know one of the things I've noticed too is that like those of us in the middle class are below can't really say that we're releasing a fragrance, but everybody else can say that. I think you're really... You can say you're releasing a fragrance. I just don't know if you can say you're releasing it to retail. Yeah, nobody's excited when you say that. I think I think I'm very good safe to say that we're most of us are releasing a fragrance. It's a thing like Elon Musk can say I'm releasing a musk and you know, or I'm releasing a fragrance and people

are like, well, that's going to be worth some money. Yeah. Yeah. Are you lamenting the fact that you can't put out your own scent? Ah, no one is lamenting that fact. I don't know. I don't know. What would it be called? Ford. Ford. Ford?

It says it's all so good. He was such a great last name. I would fact myself into this. He was such a... You're such a... How come I don't have such a strong... I think we just be called the Polepulski by Tepulski. Tepulski's cool though, because it's so ethnic and weird.

No, Tepulski sounds like a place where you go for Pritsrami. I mean, it doesn't sound like... There's actually a restaurant London called Tepulski. What are they serve there? I don't know, actually. It's spelled in I, though, so it doesn't count. Oh, no, it's... I get people's every once in a while sending me a picture of it.

They're like, is this you? What are you? That's good. I'm an American guy damn it. That's what I am good for you. Oh fucking God fearing God loving America. Don't forget it Yeah, you throw your cars on run these colors don't run. Yeah, whatever you are doesn't matter anymore I'm a Russian Ukrainian Russian descent is descent of rural mixture, little Shmorkas board of Eastern Europe of Eastern European vagabonds. My family driven out of all of Eastern Europe pretty much, right? I have to the incident with the vampires. After they committed several vampiric murders,

driven out of Eastern Europe into the welcoming arms of Pittsburgh, were you guys killing vampires or were you killing the vampires? No, no, we were killing people. Vampires, vampires. We were the vampires. Oh. I think it's fairly obvious.

I'm so surprised that you don't have to understand. Yeah, there was an incident with a fire and a barn or something. Just giving you the benefit of the doubt. Actually, I think there was some weird fire incident that preceded a time to go. Yeah, I think it was like they were trying to, they went to our nest.

The villagers went to the Tepulski nest to try to get us and we escaped on a ship. Oh yeah, those stories in Steerage. Like my wife's grandfather is like, oh yeah, he was sold to the Ashiva as a as a servant. And then he walked really? Yeah, he like walked from Russia to Europe. I didn't know the Ashiva had servants. Yeah, they did. Like, everybody did. I mean, it was like not like not that long ago, people were like, we ought to have some human servants. It was like 90 rubles to get a kid. Yeah, yeah. Hey, you know, it'd be great as somebody's short to get underneath the, the, these credenzes.

Exactly. Yeah, a little, get an eight-year-old. He's slide right in there. That's how the plot of Snowpiercer was created. Great film, great graphic novel. I don't know if it was a graphic novel. It was. It was, I think, a Korean graphic novel.

So catch me up, Paul. Tell me what you've been doing. It's been a long time since we spoke. The last time we talked, we did an end of the year episode. Right. And we made predictions. No, we didn't do we do predictions. I don't think you did any predictions.

We actually just didn't, we didn't do a good job, but predictions is what happened. I think we got sidetracked, if you can imagine. Well, last time we talked, I'd started and had underway as I was making a transition from helpful technology writer to blatant capitalists, agency owner. I have a company called PostLight. We do engineering product management design.

If you can come to us and we build you an app. Okay, so. Basically, you're a guy with an idea. So one of our clients went into chapter 11. And it's been an exciting and tumultuous time. Now do they pay you out in that situation? I don't want to talk too much about it, but we had, it was a due to the pending relationship.

I just say I drank a lot of strong, strong cups of coffee in the last couple of months. So I have turned into an enterprise salesperson in a way that I never expected to do back when I was like an editor at Harper's Magazine. If I were, so if I were a guy and I had an idea for an app. Sure, come on in. Could it be any app?

Sure. Really? Yeah, come by. Yeah, we'd love to see you. Let me get you a couple of things. I would love to come by, actually. I tell me about your app. What do you need to do? So what I really want to do is create a guide

to all of the options at Dippers and have a way that we can show the food items and the dipping sauces and then you can combine them to see what they look like when they're dipped. Oh, this is a great idea. Do you know what I'm saying? Sure. Right, so it's telling how large is your market. You guys have how many stores are market? Yeah, forget. Sometimes you know you get your hands in several pots. Let's, but we know we're like five levels in the meta-fiction. Are you selling to me? Are my selling my services to you? Are we both, do you want to build? Why, I think the post like gets paid.

Great, you know what, let's build the Dipper's app together. Let's not worry about, let's not worry about like where you come down in this arrangement, but post like it's getting paid. Let's, you know what? You can divvy up that dough however you want. Okay, so we're gonna, you and I are gonna work together. We're gonna figure out how to make the Dipper's app.

So first of all, what is an app for a, what were you thinking an app for a chain of dip based restaurants? Let me ask you a question first. What's an app? Well, start there. That's a really, really good question. It's actually something I want to write about because it's

so, really? Yeah, because it's actually very complicated. People come in, they walk in the door and they're like, I want an app and they think I want that experience on my phone. Right. Right. And what I think is you want some programmers to make you a thing using a Macintosh, most likely using like the Xcode environment and getting the widgets nice and making it searchable.

And like, maybe you have a media experience or maybe you have a commerce experience who want people to buy stuff and so on. What they, when people say I want an app, what they're not thinking about is like, there's also like some server, some database often the cloud somewhere that your app needs to talk to. The apps that the app relies on. Yeah, that's exactly right.

So there's this whole platform and system that you need to build in order to make your app work, unless it's like a pure experience, like a game, or a toy, you know, but there's almost always something that's got to hang out in the background Right. Well, I mean most most app experiences tie into some other Whether it's like you said a database or it's a some other Backend piece that is generating the stuff. That's right. That's like a news is not, that's not where the news is made. Yeah, right.

Like the news is made through all of these mechanisms and distributed and all of these mechanisms. And then that app is like a layer that lets you see that stuff. That's right, and does the app talk to the, does it talk to, so the layer is often called an API, right? So does the app talk to the API every minute? Does it once a day, does the app go and get all the

news and put it on the app so that when you are in the subway, you can still read the paper. You know, I know you tell me, does it? Well, we got to figure out what we're building for Dipper's first of all. So what we have is a real problem is that we get people to come in the restaurant once for twice, but we're having a little bit of trouble. If we're going to be honest with this audience, I think we should return visits. Yeah, I mean, I want someone who comes to Dipper's once a week and says, I'm

going to put chicken tenders in chocolate. I think here's the problem, overwhelming options. I think people feel that it's daunting when they enter a Dipper's. I think we're going to spend too much time talking about Dipper's. I want to talk about Dipper's. I know the fans want to hear about Dipper's, but I actually want to talk about real things because you're a really interesting guy. And as much as enjoy this and as much as I want to burn through the time and money that you're spending on the studio, I do, I think we should, because I feel like at the end of the day, Dipper's is not a real business. No, we have to admit that to people and they're not able to go to a Dipper's.

I think the people who are listening don't understand. We receive like Dipper's base prospect I think the people who are listening go to understand we receive like Dipper's based perspectives as we get regular twig. We actually regularly are, people are like, hey someone stole your idea because there's apparently a product called Dipper's. It's like a couple. There's like an Apple based product.

And there's like a Pringles you can dip because it's like KSO or something. And then, but then we literally recently got a business, like, pitch, like a perspective, essentially, on what the business, how the business- Illustrated with like a dipping tree. Yeah, I had a dipping tree, which I think was quite good. Kind of a spin on our dipping, whip the dip,

our dipping tree. I say the dipping tree looked delicious. But I, but we actually, Paul, I hadn't written back to this guy. And then Paul writes him back and he's like, he was like, this is really impressive. And he was very complimentary and I wrote, and then I was like, I should write back too. And I kind of ignored the email

because it was so much information. And then I commented on it. I thought he didn't go far enough with some of his dipping combinations. It was pretty remarkable. You were like, I was like, great job, guy. And you were like, you know, you got most of the way there. But it was exciting.

Anyway. In my defense, I was like, maybe, maybe this guy wants to take this thing all the way. Well, that's the thing is to make a real Dipper's restaurant. And you and I would make a ton of money off of it. We're like the creators. We're like the, the, the, the Colonel Sanders, you know.

And he didn't always own, like they, they took it away from him. It was bad. You ever read that story? No, but I don't care. I'm talking about what I think it happened in my brain, okay? Okay.

Colonel Sanders, he was like, hey, we should do some, yeah, I got some great chicken recipes. And then like cool, Colonel, I'm a business person. Let me take this idea and make you a lot of money. This is actually very accurate so far. And then he was like, all person. Let me take this idea and make you a lot of money. This is actually very accurate so far. And then he was like, all right, that sounds good. And then everybody made a lot of money

and nobody got screwed. No, that is not the story. And the Colonel Sanders died rich and happy. No. And probably while eating chicken. Harlan Sanders had a, it was a complicated relationship with his investors, many of whom took terrible advantage of the curve.

Of course. You know, all he had was the secret recipe. Once he gave that up, it was all over. That's true. The 10th spice was regret. So, how is it? It's 11, isn't it? Right now, 11, you don't even want to talk about.

11 spicy. 11 spicy. 11 spicy in your day. We're going to take a quick break. Are we gonna talk about a sponsor? We're gonna hear from a sponsor and we're gonna hear from that sponsor through my voice. Okay. And then we'll be back with more real conversation about important things with Paul Ford. This episode of Tomorrow with Joshua Tupulski, that's me. I'm Joshua Tvolsky. It's brought to you by BrainTree. Developers around the world have embraced the BrainTree V.0 SDK

as the easiest way to add secure mobile payments to their apps and websites. No matter what payment type, BrainTree accepts it. Apple Pay, Android Pay, PayPal, Venmo, like boring old credit cards, even Bitcoin. If you're that kind of person, if you're a Bitcoiner, I gotta say, I think it's risky, but you know, hey, it's your life. If something new pops up, they'll support that as well.

It's the same payment solution used by Uber, little companies like Uber, Airbnb, and GitHub. So you know that it scales. Integrating it into your app is as easy as inserting a few lines of code. But don't take my word for it because as you know my word is suspect. Try out the sandbox and see for yourself at braintreepayments.com. Slash tomorrow. All right, we're back with Paul Ford and we were talking before. We got off track as we often do. You mentioned post-sight and you said there is some client that filed chapter 11, but what is actually, that's the only thing that's happening.

I love it. I love to kind of as a cliffhanger, but I actually really do. So that happened and I had to go and with my business partner, Rich, and we just had to like really get out there and sell, which was new for me, I've never done that before. That's what you were saying,

you've become an enterprise salesman. I mean, just really like letting people know we're there doing events, I started a newsletter, I started a podcast. Do you like selling? You know what I, I don't, I like it when I'm not under duress. When you're under duress, it starts to, you get that, that tense vibe.

What was smart, what I felt that I, I did something smart, which is that. I'm good at your admit. Way to admit. Yeah. I create, look, I'm good at making media. I was like, I bet if I make some media, and I'm really clear where people about what this is.

If I'm really clear, like, hey, we're a company, I'm a guy at this company. Get in touch if you need these things. That'll be a good idea. It's good to tell people who you are and what you do. It is, and people want to read, they like to read what I write about technology. You're a very good writer.

Thanks, that's good. I don't know if you know this actually we should say because you haven't been on since this happened here and on a winner of a national magazine award for what is code i mean we should actually clarify and nominate it nominated for several webbies multiple webbies multiple webbies are you multiple it's just one that's it what's what are the two i don't quite understand what happened one is

like the story of what is code one is one is like the the tech and design and stuff like up against like the entire New Yorker I don't quite get it. It makes sense to me look all I know is that I win national magazine awards Actually, I don't the magazine. Well you you did the most of the work I contributed a lot you wrote the thing. Yeah, there was a there it probably wouldn't have gone that way without me. That's okay. I'm guessing that there would be no award for a piece that was not written. Most likely, I don't know, it depends. Millennials win awards all the time. Wow. That is, I think a diss to millennials. I know. It's just an age range and a group that I believe doesn't exist. I don't believe they exist either. Anyhow, so wait a second. So getting back. Sorry. I don't know. You know what Anyhow, so wait a second. So getting back, you know what I'm saying?

You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? Sorry, I know what you're saying. You know what I'm saying? Sorry, I know what you're saying. Sorry, I know what you're saying. Sorry, I know what you're saying. Sorry, I know what you're saying.

Sorry, I know what you're saying. Sorry, I know what you're saying. Sorry, I know what you're saying. Sorry, I know what you're saying. Sorry, I know what you're saying. Sorry, I know what you're saying. Sorry, I know what you're saying. Sorry, I know what you're saying.

Sorry, I know what you're saying. Sorry, I know what you're saying. Sorry, I know what you're saying. Sorry, I know what you're saying. Sorry, I know what you're saying. Sorry, I know what you're saying. Sorry, I know what you're saying. Sorry, I know what you're saying. Sorry. I've been doing the same thing. Yeah. I've been learning a lot of business lessons. It's tough. It's horrible. I can't believe people do this for a living. Well, you just, you're just a couple. Business, if you just did business,

if you were just doing the selling part. Oh, it's hard. Can you imagine? That's your whole job day and day out. That's kind of what I've been doing. And I think that the thing that's welcome to my nightmare. Well, I noticed the thing that's tricky right is that you are, you feel very

vulnerable, but it's your job to keep it together. One feels vulnerable. One feels vulnerable. And it's sort of like when you're a writer or you work in media and you're like, I had a bad day, like it's actually like, let me turn my pain into something. Personal, I say I'm media. Exactly. I write a personal, I say I'm media. I mean, I'm on your 20 of that. And now it's like, okay, let's look at this in the broader context. Where can we be in three months? The broader context is your new personal asset.

Exactly, I'm sitting there, I need to make like, the position of your pain in the broader context is your new personal asset. That's exactly, I'd better turn this emotional, discomfort into a to-do list as quickly as possible. So, I mean, you gotta pick yourself up and try again. I mean, which is that? Cause yourself off and try again. You know, which is that? Got yourself off and try again.

You know, that's the nicest way to be a little bit of, we'll get a little bit of the song. Exactly. And you'll just lace that in underneath, a little bed as they call it in the industry. So anyway, we're on the other side of it. Yeah. And we're building your building apps

and platforms and things for people. We are. I think this is just one big post-light. I'm sorry about that. We've turned a plug into 40 minutes of content. Is this what you're doing? Is it what you're doing when you're writing about your business?

No, I just cut and paste this thing about what we are at the bottom of. And I, you know, but at the time, what I do is when I tell people about my business, I have a, there's a Leigh-I-Cocus beach that I, there's a transcription that I have that I just sent to IE Mel to them. It's tricky, right?

Because suddenly we're brands, you know, it's nice when we can just joke about dippers. Yeah. It's, it can be more than a joke if you would spend half as much time on dippers as you do on post-lite. It's true. You know, maybe we'd be somewhere. All right. So you want to talk about, um, why don't we talk about anything? We used to just, but you suggested earlier that we should, um, we should talk a little bit about our, the media diets of our children. Well, we were talking about some of the things that your kids watch, and I just feel that like, I feel that octonaut rules everything around me,

or as I like to. So I know, how are your kids? Four. You have four in twins. Which is like having an eight year old. Yeah. And. Put cut in half.

Put cut in half and screaming. Okay, so Zelda found something. So I should say, let me back up. Zelda's three? Zelda's two. She was turned to in February. She was in the hospital. She had pneumonia.

Oh. Did you know this? I don't know if you knew it. I did know that. It's brutal. Which was very shocking to us because she's never really been sick. I mean, she's gotten cold and stuff like all kids,

but I can't leave the hospital either. Like when you're in there. No, no, no, no. You're like, oh, my kids in the hospital. I left because I'm a horrible kids, but. And it can't leave the hospital either, like when you're in there. No, no, no, no. What you, you know, you're like, oh, my kids in the hospital, I left because I'm a horrible person, but Lord, and well, no, but a parent's just there at all time. There's a parent at all time, yeah.

It's not like, okay, well, she saved my life. I mean, I wasn't like, I wasn't like, you got this, I'm out of here. No, no, no, I did go home to sleep. But your life is utterly. And you're in the hospital, no, they were in the hospital. Lord was in the hospital nonstop. Well, she made some trips back home

to like take a shower. It's scary. But it was like, yeah, four days straight or something, three days straight. But so, and by the way, Zelda's totally great. Sure. Back in action, crazier than ever. What'd she have?

She had pneumonia. She had pneumonia and she had, you know, she had some cold that developed into it. But anyhow, but so while we were there, they do a lot of things to kids that kids don't like. Okay. Oh, at the hospital. When your kid is in the hospital for pneumonia,

things like the kid gets an IV, horrible, the fucking worst. Watching your kid get an IV is like torture and a nightmare that I can't begin to. And by the way, that's not the worst. Kids all over the world have way worse things happen to them, or so just like, he really gives you, started to give you some perspective. I'm like, I'm like doubling over in pain,

watching her get an IV and it's like, this is the nothing. Anyhow. You can't sue the two year old. They're just there, they just, no. And then they do all, they do all these things because you know, her breathing was a little bit labored and they want to like, they give them steroids

and like, she had this asthma thing that she was getting. It's like this noisy machine that she has to like, they have to put a mask on her face and she's to breathe in for like five minutes and you know, that is like really horrible for two year old who has no idea what's going on. So during this process, we were like, how can we distract Zelda?

So she is like focused on something fun and interesting and not focused on this thing that's crappy. And we started to like desperately look for like YouTube videos. There are YouTube videos for kids. There's crazy YouTube videos for kids. But what is this regular media consumption? She watches, she doesn't watch that much TV.

She doesn't really, we don't really let her play with phones or tablets. Like she wants in a while, we'll like give her one to look at pictures or something. But like what happened is that she'd seen some YouTube stuff. She likes this, like there's a five little ducks video that she really likes, which is like an animated 3D animated video about ducks. They disappear and they come back. Pretty straightforward. The narrative, I wouldn't say it's a complex narrative.

Let's put it that way. And it's also you end up fucking war in pieces. You enter that bizarre zone of like the really shitty videos that the kids love that have 40 million views of the video. Five little ducks. Yeah. Five little ducks kids love that have 40 million views. Oh yeah, five little docs. Yeah, five little docs is like, it looks 75 million views. It's like the frickin' Katie Perry video.

It really is. So here's the business. But also it costs $1.75 to produce. But here's the thing, it was like literally produced by a bot, which I wanna talk about in a minute. But it was like a bot is great. Somewhere, there was like a matric style thing

where it's just cranking out like ducky videos. Yeah. But anyhow, but eventually you started to go down through the playlists and you're like looking for videos or it's like auto-playing next video, next video, next video. Because you guys got to be busy. There's this guy name, there's a character name, Bubba.

Bubba. You know, Bubba? No. Bubba's like this crazy, fleshy, fur character is animated and he's always, I think he's like sweetish or something, or Israeli, I don't know, he's like not, it's not. Those two are pretty much the same.

It's something, it's like something's from another country. That's booba. That's booba. And booba is like a guy who's always getting very injured. He's like in horrible situations where he slips on something and then something falls on him and then a refrigerator collapses and then like a fang, it's caught in a fan.

Everything is about him getting back, it's like classic looney tunes. Right. It's all about like boobas being injured. But it's a sweetest deal. No, I don't know what it is. I'm just saying it's like not from, I don't think it's US produced.

Okay. Do a YouTube search for boobah. Yeah. Or I think it's boobah. Maybe I have the name wrong. And then you're right. Then it's like some people do some unboxings of Disney toys. Okay.

Yeah, and then there are videos that people are making where it's like they have a doll and they're feeding the doll. It's like it just, it's just a shot of the doll and they're feeding it weird shit that isn't food like Colorful balls and like jewelry and then and then this is a scene and then the doll Poops and they have like chocolate smeared on the on the butt of the doll and they're like wiping it This is a real thing. Okay, but I can also have like millions of views. I can imagine children real thing. Okay, but I can also imagine. And that's like millions of views.

I can imagine children. No, no. Zoda, mes, fucking mes morais. Because like there's some, there's some where they give the doll a bath and like some kind of goopy, like some kind of like, it's all dirty and stupid.

Greens, goopy material. And like so it's like these weird, it's all this, it's all like, it's almost like, what is the ASMR? Yeah. It's like ASMR for children. It's like, it's like, the things that a kid, it's like the thing that your kid wants to do more than anything is like make some weird, massive, like colorful gelatinous and like

substance and like weird toys and jewelry and balls and like just mash them all together. Right. No, no, that's what they look. And that's the thing they're living vicariously. There is, that's the guy right there. It's weirdly flashy, right? Okay. So in the same way that they like to take

like everything out of a box and scatter it across and then sort of mulch it. Pour water over it. Yeah, and they let moss grow on it. Like kids do crazy disgusting things. Like the other day Zelda, she got really into cheese. She's into cheerio, she puts cheerio's in bottles, in baby bottles.

Yeah. And then it's like constantly mixing them and then she's like, hey, what if I added water? Have you smelled Cheerio's that are in water? After, it's fucking, it's like, take this smell, it's like a, take this smell of Cheerio's, which is a little bit appetizing, because it's a serial odor,

and then magnify it times 100. No, that's like a, that's like a, it's like a mildew or something. Petri dish, substrate, for growing, she loves it, she loves it. Then she's like, I wanna drink this, and I'm like, you know what, Petri dish, substrate for growing you. She loves it. She loves it. Then she's like, I want to drink this and I'm like, you know what, you're not, not on my watch.

No. You're not going to drink this disgusting cereal water. Oh, they like to drink. How do they like to drink out of the tub? Oh, it's not. It does not do that. She doesn't. Well, but not yet.

Give it time. I know. I know. I get it. Believe me. At any rate. So, by the way, what she normally watches is like, she likes frozen, she likes tangled. We may be on the other side of frozen in our house. We've actually, frozen has, Zalda has very much

cooled on frozen. It took two years. I haven't memorized. And frozen soda. I had frozen fever. She hasn't memorized that thing. Freaking frozen fever. She loves frozen fever.

No one knows what we're talking about right now. Okay, frozen fever. There's on Netflix. there's this like, Disney animated short. Oh, we bought it. We bought some favorite. No, we bought some favorite. So at the very last, it's like John Henry

and there's like a bunch of other videos. None's bullshit kids don't wanna watch. They're all, they're all like, hey, here's one where we took Mickey Mouse and modernized and updated him. And it's very like Disney because they come out for like 40 minutes between each. Like Mickey Mouse has a mohawk or something.

Yeah. Well, no, and they also like, skateboarding. They explain every like, we thought that the animation from the 19, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, because Disney just like, sort of like the New Yorker,

like there's certain institutions that have to talk about themselves in order to just survive a day. Like if the New Yorker, you know, if Esquire doesn't link to Frank Sinatra has a cold on a given day, Esquire ceases to exist. It's actually a curse that a wizard put upon them.

It just disappears. Yeah, there's certain things. Like a wizard said, you must promote this story that came out of this. I don't know if you've read it, but it's a really great piece. It's a great, excellent piece. That's really good. You should read it great, excellent piece. That was really great.

You should read it. I've read it. Talk about journal times. Journalism. Yeah, that is journalism right there. It's not a game to lease. Gates to lease. Oh, uncomplicated person.

No, no controversy. Surrounded Gates to lease. Well, go ahead, let's hear it. Sorry, I didn't erupt at you though. I don't know what I did in erupt at you. I don't even have a reaction. I actually just got off a Twitter. I just pulled it off my phone. I let's hear it. Sorry, I didn't erupt at you though. I don't know if I didn't erupt at you. I don't even have a reaction. I actually just got off a Twitter. I just pulled it off my phone.

I can't do it. It's too depressing. Don't be that guy. No, I mean, I'm still checking, you know, like, I'm, I mean, I just, I don't, you're like, oh, my second phone. Exactly. On your Samsung. I only have one phone, Josh.

Not like me. I'm too far. Two phones, guys. Two phones, one phone, guys. Two phones, one phone, guys. Yeah. I'm a one phonefoot one man kind of thing. Well, listen, I like to see what's going on out there in the rest of the world, okay?

When I think about emerging markets developing countries, I wanna see what they're doing. I just, when I read Twitter, I'm just like, why is every middle class person in a state of total despair all the time? Like, that's what it looks like to me. I'll tell you why, We weren't designed for this. No. We weren't supposed to be like this. We were supposed to be on in a farmhouse,

building a fire, working a land. You know what's good? Sharing of sharing stories around a warm mug of cocoa and blazing fire that I said earlier, you were building. No, and just like cooking a meal and being there with your friends and getting a good bride price for your daughter. And those are things. And those are things. It's really the exhaustion from a day of tilling the soil and working the lab. Or just cobbling, relentless.

And the fucking cobbling all day. And going to bed at night, even though you're not a cobbler you just go back in some cobbling because you just can't just stand your wife anymore. Stop stream of cobbling. She's like can you take the garbage out and you're like I have to cobbling. If I'm taking the garbage out who's going to cobble these shoes? You haven't really spoken or touched each other in years and you just keep making left shoes and you don't have a left leg.

It's in the fire. The fire has to be fed. Oh, God. Because otherwise your small home, your small, not heated home will get very uncomfortable for you and for your remaining daughters. She comes out here. Yeah, who you can't sell. You can't sell because it's too ugly. They're too ugly. I mean, I wouldn't say that but But you know in your heart. That's what the blacksmiths boy said Yeah, well, and I think that most people in town agree and you look you just you had your wife comes out

The point is you're all of left shoes and you just scream get out and that's how we were supposed to be That's how we're supposed to be not reading Twitter not to downloading live Broadcast on Facebook by the way, and this is in real time in real time, I have a piece going up in New Yorker, which is like a Facebook business. Oh, the New Yorker. Yeah, the New Yorker. That's kind of what I'm going to be clear. No, it's a really interesting magazine.

That's cool that you mentioned that you write for them. Yeah, from time to time when I can make time. When you can make time. When you can't make a schedule. No, that's good. When I make time for to write I write for prestigious publications like the New Yorker and Josh with the Polsky dot com. Oh, that's a good one. You ever seen that website? I

Subscribe to one of the best Tumblr blogs that I run absolutely I run several as you laugh Ryan I see you over there giggling, but I got news for you my friend You'd be surprised at how many fucking Tumblr blogs I have. I would not. Actually, I can totally see that. And in fact, I follow many of them in our assass in Newsblur. Well, I would imagine, really, in your newsreader? In my newsblur. You don't, I mean, to his local newsreader.

I don't want one that is on the web or in the cloud. I'm interested in downloading. I want to download my OPML and then download all the articles. And then just like get rid of it. And just read them at my leisure. Slowly dig a grave with a small trowel and get into the grave.

Get reader open. The experience I like is when you get into like an open grave with your phone and just cover yourself with dirt. And then you have six or seven. An open grave, you mean my entire fucking life, Paul? Yeah. And then getting back to the way we were supposed to be,

we weren't supposed to be looking at Twitter and watching live streams on pariscom. We were supposed to be cobbling and troiling and tilling and building and then doing those little cuts in the mirror and listening to black celebration. Cutters. Yeah, we were supposed to be cutters. Or cutters, but like, uh, you know,

but the frontiersman cutters. Yeah, exactly. Out breaking the land. Those people were happy. Breaking the land and then getting our little kid out that we hide under the bed. I mean, I just love it. Cutters, kid.

Do they have a name for that? Cutters kids. Yeah, is there like an official name for it? Cutters kids was actually a kid. No, no, no. Cutters kids was the Tom Selleck thing with the orphans. Oh, that's from the 80s. He was the sequel to a cutter. He was runaway. Yeah, he's from the 80s. Is it the sequel to, uh, He was Cutter, he was the, yeah, he was the PI any, he, you know,

Wait, is his name Cutter and Runaway? What is his name? It is. Probably. Did I, correct? Can you find out what Tom Selleck's character's name is and Runaway? You have five seconds. By the way, can you name, do you know the villain

and Runaway? Is it Runaway? Is the name of the character? The name is Ramsey. Ramsey, pretty fucking close. Cutter's kids. Runaway is the one about the robotic bugs the character? The name is Ramsey. Ramsey, pretty fucking close. Cutters kids. Run away is the one about the robotic bugs, correct? Yeah.

That's amazing, cover art. Villain, villain and run away. I don't know. Gene Simmons. Oh, kids. I'm thinking hard about, yeah. But Cutters kids, man. That's correct.

And Kristie Alley was also in that car. And Kristie Alley, yeah. Tom Sallik plays a hard boiled PI who breaks up a crime ring that centered in Norfinish. What's going to happen with the kids? Cutters kids. Cutters kids. This fall.

No, this is coming to center. And they get in there, they're always accidentally uncovering crimes. You know what I was just thinking about was if you're listening to old movie trailers, by the way, I have a, another Tumblr I run, FilmTrailerReviews.net.

Sure. And no, FilmTrailerReviews.com, where I was gonna review trailers. Sure. I only did four of them and I was like you know I this is not a good use of I know you didn't register the URL no I did I had a real I don't know film trailer reviews film trailer reviews dot com I know this $6.95 I do not much fucking money I spent go daddy and one I mean thousands of dollars a year renewing domain it's literally I hide it from my wife there's

something wrong with me I do I hide it for my wife. There's something wrong with me. I do, I hide it from my wife. I hide it for myself. I see these things at the, I'm like, Oh, down, I got, I'm still billing me for this. I got down to 20. I'm like, you know what, it's never gonna happen. I have so many.

Is this still up? It is, but it's taking a long time. Well, I'm not going to blame my wife. Well, what's my last review that I did? The last review is nowhere Boy and the social network. Yes. So that's how all the news. Can you, Ryan, could you read the social network review to us out loud?

Thank you. The newest trailer for the social network begins with a strangely compelling collage of photos and status updates from a social network set against a version of Radiohead's creep, sung by what sounds like a choir of school children. It's effective, it's depressing, and it's the tone for what will apparently be an excessively dark exploration of the roots of dot, dot, dot, Facebook. This is, I haven't seen the film.

I keep going, I'm very curious. We're 20% into this review now. Yeah, yeah. Slowly, the trailer introduces the characters in our story. The kid from Adventureland, Justin Timberlake, Quincy Jones' daughter. Was that just end there? That's so weird.

I would have read it differently, but. All right, I can give you some. That's good, okay, it's good. Zuckerberg wants to impress clubs, but he may have stolen an idea from the Jocks. Jones is impressed by all the hits in parentheses, 2200 hits, 22000. That's a quote.

Yeah. But the Jocks are still upset about the theft of their website and now they've got old white lawyers on their side, very revenge of the nerds you noted. Oh, yeah. Timberlake wants a billion dollars. Sex, drugs, and the drinking of some yellow, Apple-teany-looking thing all occur.

Zuckerberg is twitchy, hasberg-resy, but a relentless climber who will stop it nothing to succeed from what we can tell. The film is bathed in David Fincher's signature yellow green tinge, making it all look like a nine-inch nails video starring the cast of DeGrasse High. Not surprisingly, Trent Grasner is also doing the soundtrack. Your best friend is suing you for $600 million. We hear an old man say, presumably to Zuckerberg, who can't be shaken from his Tourette's like behavior. Even by a tough Jane Lynch in school board member, the trailer is effective in making a film

about Facebook seem less silly than it appears on the surface, but the heavy handedness of the musical tone leaves a bad taste in her mouth. I'll be seeing it on opening day. Trailer, be minus. And you wonder why I shut down film trailer for the new Shackah. Well no, it had a lot going for it. It definitely recapped trailers effectively. It was more like a recap.

There was something where a little more editorialized, I think, my earlier reviews. What are the earlier reviews I'm curious? Not this is interesting to anybody except for me. Well, it took you a while to get to that to grassy line. That was to pay off. So if you'd cut about half there and got in one way or- Well, what I need it was an editor.

Yeah. A devil by M Night Shyamalan. Oh man, and I think that's a good one. Can we hear a little bit of that just to give me a little taste? This one's a bit shorter. This is the worst podcast I've ever done. But I'm enjoying it. As long as I'm having a good time.

This is what I bring out for a minute. No, go go. Things start out strong for M Night Shyamalan's devil as we're presented with appropriately disorienting upside down views of the cityspe while being told that quote, our lives are filled with chance encounters were then introduced to a coterie of characters, the hot girl, a black dude, an old lady, a mysterious, dark skinned guy with a jufero and a bike messenger.

Yeah, it's like I felt like all the characters were really like weird stereotypes of like characters that you would, if you were like, what's a random assortment of characters you might meet in an elevator. Anyhow, you don't have to read anymore. All right, let's move on. Okay, I'll stop checking my email. And God, anyhow, film show reviews, not one of my most successful endeavors.

I had a, how do I had post-slight build a nap for it? Oh, back in. I don't think, I mean, I'm my advice there would have been not to move forward. How do we get on this topic? I don't know, we're talking about the media our children consume. Oh, yeah, right. And we do my frozen forward. How do we get on this topic? I don't know. We're talking about the meteor children concern. Oh yeah, right.

And we're talking about frozen and then how do we get on Tumblr? Do your kids just sell to have a tantrum when she can't watch a thing? Not really. See that, that means she sometimes wants to watch stuff but then she's easily distracted. You can be like, hey, what's this thing over here? And then it's over here.

That goes away. Yeah, maybe. No, no, maybe she's just easily distracted. Maybe she has the bad ADD that her father has. I don't know. I guess we have some octanot related tantrums. What are octanots? Oh, you never see this show.

No, what is it? I've never even heard of this. It's literally, it's about 30% of my existence. It's a team of, these are cute. Yeah, no, there's a captain's Captain Barnacles as a polar bear who leads us guys are adorable of undersea adventures. It's essentially the abyss with cute animals. I want to fucking watch this.

It looks amazing. It's actually great and it moves really fast. So it's got a kind of spy movie pace. These guys? Yeah, that's them. So what they do is they go and they help an undersea creature once a week. And then they do the thing called creature report,

where they go, creature report, creature report, creature report, I mean, this is all drilled into my brain. And then they talk a little bit about it. So it, and they write a little song. It will be like sperm whales have really long. Oh, it's educational. Oh, it's highly educational. She is going to go crazy over this.

This is a strong cup of coffee. You're going to get in there and there's about five seasons. I mean, I think she's too young to get all the narrative complexity of what you're describing. He put a moves fast. This is wonderful. Oh, it's very good. He's adorable. I'm living off of it. Whoever is responsible for the creation of this character. It started as a web series. No, it started as a series of books about all the actinets. So they live in the octopod, but it really is and maybe wanna go see the abyss.

Oh my God. There is an octopus. Yeah. Oh yeah, squid. Yeah. Wait, it's an octopus. No, it's an octopus. Are you sure this name is Professor Incles?

Professor Incling. I'm seeing Incles in this. Well, you know, they changed a few things in the British version too. Captain Barnacle. Captain Barnacles. Captain Barnacles. Doctor Shellington.

Yeah, he is an otter, he's Scottish, and he is a marine biologist. Tweet is a character. Tweet has a very bad American accent, and he's... Paiso's a character. It's the Fixit. He's the penguin who helps.

He's a penguin doctor. Lieutenant Quasi. Lieutenant Quasi, he's a pirate. It's the fix that he's the penguin who helps. He's a penguin doctor. Lieutenant Quasi. Lieutenant Quasi, he's a pirate. He's actually a pirate cat. He's a lieutenant. I mean, the, the, the, the actinus takes people where they are. Does a character name Saussi?

Oh, Saussi is actually called Dashi in America. I don't know. Turns, she's, that's my daughter's favorite. Like to the point that we've dressed up for Halloween. Oh, it's two hair clips, a little blue hat, a brown shirt with a blue collar, and what appears to be a pink skirt. Yes, she's a dog who is also staff photographer for the Octanuts. I love him, yes.

She has a few other... What are they, their scientists? It's an undersea, it's the mission of the Okinawaats is to help sea life. So they occasionally, they're on a peacekeeping mission. That's basically, so they go out there and they're like, wow, this hermit crab has problems. There was a whale with sunburn, and so they had to figure out, and they tried to use sun tan lotion, and they rapidly ran out. That reminds me of the damage that we're doing to the planet.

Yeah, it does. It's actually, it doesn't touch on that very much at all except there was one episode where the polar bears can't find any icebergs. It's like the very special episode of growing pans where they do cocaine. Yeah. What was that like?

I never saw that. Are you fucking kidding me? No! The single greatest episode of any 80 sitcom that's ever been filmed. Oh my god, they just talk really fast. What do they say? No, it's incredible. I can't believe you've never seen it I don't I'm sure I've talked about who does the cocaine Let me explain what happens is Mallory first up. Okay first off

The show's growing pains with Kirk camera Not family ties. Not family ties. So there is, of course, the great family ties episode with the drunk uncle played by Tom Hanks, which is another unbelievable, and there is an episode where Michael J. Fox does speed, which is a, what's the show called, family ties? Family ties, yeah.

So there are several very special episodes of the family ties that are, I think that there is a kind of, he gets hyped up on Benny's votes for Regan's voice. It's the same as, you don't remember that episode. He's like studying, he has this huge exam, and to like stay up for the exam, he takes some speed that a friend gives them, and then he's blasted, he's like totally out of it all night, and then he passes out, and he misses the exam, and he learns the hard lesson about drugs, which is like, there's a right time at a right place.

Yeah, yeah, don't take drugs like... Don't take drugs which is like, there's a right time at a right place. Yeah, yeah. Don't take drugs like this. Don't take drugs because you, if it's the wrong time. Take drugs says it's an awesome experience. Now, the growing pain's episode is unbelievable. Do you ever watch growing pains? Once or twice, but I always, you know. Kirk Cameron is the main character.

He's a major fan of his later career when he became a that shit Christian. Yeah, and he starred in several film adaptation of the Left Behind books. I have seen those. Yeah, I haven't seen them, but I do own like nine of the Left Behind books. They're really bad.

They're terrible. I mean, Carter's name like Buck Johnson or something. I can't. They're so, they're so poor, like the character is so poorly named, it's hard to get past. Well, what I love about the Left Behind books is as you're reading them,

you're like, wow, this really does map to what's in the Bible. And it's bananas. It's not that bad. They're like, they're like, listen, what they needed to study most and follow most was the facts of the Bible. It's a disaster.

Everything else is in-concent, relatively in-concent. Like, you would have taken an actual narrative genius in order to make that work. And you had these two mouth-breathing, you know, ponderosa eating lunateck. Wait, what's wrong with ponderosa? That's so good, man. It's a tremendous... You know, when can you get...

I feel for a ponderosa. And then when they co-ed, you like, you just had that salad bar. Ponderosa is like, when you think about it, it's like the proto-dipers. I have a question for you though. So you hit the salad bar and then there's like... I mean, I didn't do a ponderosa since I was like 11. They don't have one in it. I don't think it exists anymore. I'm sure they do. I think ponderosa is I was like 11. They don't have one in, they don't have one here. They exist anymore.

I'm sure they do. I think ponderos is definitely out of business. Let's assume that ponderos is still in business. Their assets were purchased by all of Garden LLC. Let's, it's actually called like that, whoever owns all of Garden, it's called like food, it's called like food, can go on right? LLLC.

Think about that, think about that. First of all, it's just like that crappie, that iceberg lettuce, right? And then you, I don't know, are you team up ponderos? Yeah, and then just like that crappy. That iceberg lettuce, right? And then you... I don't know, are you team up on a rosa? Yeah, and then you hit that, you get those tomatoes, but then there's always like, butterscotch pudding, and you have an entree on the way.

So what do you do? Do it all, that's what you do. It's really true. But then you're in this situation, you're like 11 and you got butterscotch pudding, and your steak is coming. You just crush it. You crush it all.

You're gonna get that steak that's like 80% just gristle, and then that little bit of moon on the bone. Yeah, my recollection is that a lot of fat on the steaks. I did it right. It's a great time in America when we had ponderosa. So now we're in the, unfortunately, where the hell can it be? Unless Trump wins, we're gonna be continue to be in a

ponderosa list American nightmare. I missed places. Is it out of it? We've got about a ponderosalist American nightmare. I missed places. We've got about 30 ponderos is left in the continental US, one of which is in Florida and the rest are in Indiana and Illinois. So if you wanna go. You're saying there's not one anywhere near New York? No, it's been completely wiped out.

Really? It's been two really? I mean, wow, what, look at that cluster. And what in Florida? It's just like, just like went down there, something'll happen. I mean, people have memories, right? Yeah. You want a big potato where the hell do you go?

Denny's? It's time for bots for a second. Oh, bots. Have you heard about the new, have you heard about the wave of bot excitement? Well, okay, so are you riding the wave of bot excitement? I'm riding it, but I'm observing, because I think it's fascinating. It's post-life, it's post-life working on bot.

We're not building a bot. What I think is fascinating is watching like the entire technology culture turn on a diamond about six weeks. But that's a classic move. I mean, it's really where it's just a viral culture, right? Like something enters the bloodstream and everyone is just like,

boaaaah, yeah, like video. Boaaaah, video. Yeah. And then we do it until everybody's so sick of it and so bored of it that you've got to find the next thing. Well, and then it never really goes away. They're like, Bitcoin, Bitcoin did this. Yeah, but Bitcoin, it got, it slotted into its appropriate spot. Which is a corner of shame, like the end of the Blair Witch

project. It's like, it's like a, that's where Bitcoin is right now of shame like the end of the Blair Witch project. It's like it's like it's like that's where Bitcoin is right now. Bitcoin is in the corner. It's like this, you know, it's a niche specialist like investment opportunity. So bad. Do you own a bitcoin? actually, a really good source for a long time, who I had, you know, I sort of knew, because we talked about a lot of stories together, like he had a lot of information that led to being stories. He gave me some Bitcoin at some point, just so I could see how it worked. And then I gave it. And then later, he was like, hey like that Bitcoin back as it had like,

quintoppled and valued, or so. This is the thing, there's a journalist, Danny O'Brien, who has been writing about tech forever. And he did a early story on Bitcoin, and I think he bought like 20 Bitcoins, or so I like, I wanna go back and find it. Yeah. And I just wonder what happened.

Like maybe he's retired now. No, because there was a point where like Bitcoin got so valuable that you actually could have Yeah, bit become rich very easily I also like I had the minor turned on early early days But I was just like what is this I don't understand and turned it off. I don't have any Bitcoin. No No, I probably could have had like a hundred Bitcoin. It's like which would be worth what what's a hundred Bitcoin worth right? 880,000 dollars. No, it's not. Yeah, well it was, it was in 800,

that's probably now like at 140. Can you imagine if you just randomly mine 20 Bitcoin back in the day? Or like, so it was like, hey, you can buy these, it's $2, or you're like, all right, whatever. Yeah, but this is what people say about Apple, I guess. 100 Bitcoin is worth 42,460 US dollars at the moment.

I mean, I actually- All I had to the moment. I mean, I had, I actually, All I had to do was, I actually think I had like 20, not 20, I had 20 dollars worth of Bitcoin at a time when, I can't remember what it was, it was like several Bitcoin, full Bitcoins though. Yeah, you know, which are now very, very valuable. I mean, how, but what, can you even get the money?

I don't know. Who gives you the money? I don't know. Here's what I want to know. Who's the bank worth? Oh, that Bitcoin is worth $100,000. Here's $100,000. Does that happen?

You don't think so? I think you have to sell it or you can do like how you could redeem Xbox stuff for it. I can't say. You're like, yeah, I got $100,000 worth of Xbox headsets. I think it really, yeah, I mean, people got really into it, but it basically, I mean, you know, it functions like airline miles. Right. Bitcoin is the airline miles of currency. Yeah, basically saying it's the same thing.

And everyone just went like full, sharper. That's the problem. I think the, I think the important thing is that is that when you have a currency, you have to be able to turn that currency into stuff that you can take to a bodega and get a sandwich with. That's, that is very important. You can't fucking do that. If I can't buy a tuna sandwich and put a bodega. And pet the bodega cat. Sounds good actually. Oh man, let's go get a tuna sandwich and sandwich

and sandwich this. Yeah, it's good idea. Do you think there's anywhere we can find a bodega? In New York City, in the 30s, at the end of the year avenue. Has anybody ever done like a real study of the sheer amount of small delis in New York? I mean, it is staggering.

I so just kind of one of the greatest things. It's one of the greatest things. I mean, you literally, like, the way they've been designed is so incredible. They're like, so we know people live in apartments in New York. And also, we think people are probably aggressively lazy. Yeah. So we're going to put a place you can get a sandwich 24 hours a day, literally on every corner, sometimes two on a corner, on every block in every burrow of New York. Well they function as community centers, they function as like they do everything.

They're like cat cafes. They are. It's weird as you go in, like 7-11's been trying to colonize New York City, and you go into a 7-11, you're like, it's this all wrong. Sorry, you don't have a cat here. They've just structured it incorrectly. You're like, I'm on your donut,

but what I prefer is that the donut was covered and discussed a cat hair. That's right. I don't like the way that this is pre-packaged. I wanted it to be something that I'm getting a 2-pm that has been touched by at least 75 other people. There's something weird, It's like, what,

I thought 11 should have done is created like a version of bodega that looked and acted like a bodega, but all the profits went to 7.11. Yeah, they could have nailed that, right? I feel like people would have just been like, I don't know, I guess. Like there's this crypto Starbucks.

I don't even know what they are, but like Starbucks has done a brand extension where it's just, you know, like, Joe's anonymous coffee. Yeah, it's called like green. Yeah, and nobody's like, you know, star or something. I hate Starbucks, so I'm gonna go over to Greenstone.

They're mermaid coffeeers, right? Yeah, actually that's what they should do. Mermaid coffee is, like I'd be like, yeah, mermaid coffee is a place. Yeah, and they have a, how much is a couple, oh it's $14 for a small coffee. I think it's called Pete's. I think that's the name of the,

Yeah, didn't they buy Pete's? I don't know. Anyway, we're getting, I hate to say this, but we're actually getting closer to wrap up. Oh my lord. I mean, I, for really, I mean, we're in a new place and I don't want to, I don't want to cause any trouble. I don't know who's coming in after it could be...

That's the push the limits. I mean, it could be any of the stars of the mid-roll universe. Well, I'm looking at if they've signed so many, they've signed their names. The name's Andy Borowitz has been here. Kim Abel. Look at this. Andy. It can't read has been here. Kimobell. Look at this.

Andy. It can't read any of these. Andy Greenwald. Chris. Abby Jacobson is right here. Look at that. Trayvon Free, Mishie, Herman. This is, there's, there are tables.

We should say there are tables that we're sitting at in the mid-roll studio where people sign them with a marker. Nobody, we're interested in, nobody offered a marker to us. I can't help it. Oh. We're being, we're being given the marker sign. Oh wow. Okay, that's exciting. Are you gonna sign your name here? I don't know. I don't know. I like to, I like this, this Abby Jacobson one is really good. It is good. She's an artist, true artist. I like to go through life without leaving a trace, right? I just sort of feel like I was here, I recorded digitally, and then I move on, and no one needs to know I was here.

You know, at both late night and the tonight show, they, Questlove has all of the guests sign his sticks from the night. Uh-huh. I've signed like, I like to know what he's doing with the sticks, like I don't know where they are, but I've signed so many. They also have a guest book that they want you to sign,

and so I've started writing, because I've been on a bunch of times, this is not a humble bag, I'm just sign. And so I've started writing because I've been on a bunch of times. This is not a humble bag. I'm just saying. No, no, I know. I've gone on a bunch of times. And so I've, you know, at first you're like, definitely. Thanks so much. I had a great time. And then like, we all have been in that. And put like a face and you put like a little smiley, like, and I started. Now I've started the last one I did.

I think I wrote like a very long story about something that would have happened to me. Yeah. And I just ends like, I didn't have an ever-room on the page and so just ends mid-sens. And then the one after that, I think, the last two, I think I drew a very detailed drawing of the Samsung remote that's in the room. You know there's like a remote for the keys you have a TV

in your dressing room. So I did like a very detailed. I want one too. So maybe I'll do a drawing here of something. I was I was on MPR once, which is like this, but much less professional. And I you I went there to sign in and PR bird. I went to sign in and the receptionist didn't look up. They asked you to fill out the books. I write my name in and go, and I'm like, hi, I'm here for whatever show it happened to be.

And they went, she went, what's your name? And I said, Paul Ford, and she went, the Tom Ford and looked up at me and then her face fell so hard. It was just this like, bam! Wow. Also, what a reaction. Oh, it's such a garbage monster at that moment.

You want to move the needle at NPR, the NPR reception desk. Sit your top for. You would think it'd be like, I'm Joe Biden, and they'd be like, oh my God, Mr. Biden. You know how many exhausting NPR guests come through there and then, like, Malcolm, it's like, um, Malcolm Gladwell,

and they'd be like, oh my God, Malcolm Gladwell's here. No, they're excited about Tom Ford. Because that's an actually cool person. Like an actually cool person came in and you know, that would be amazing. Right, well all right. Okay, we have to wrap up unfortunately. Cool.

I'm sorry Paul, thank you for coming. It's been too long. It's been too long. Well we're getting warmed up. We'll do another one soon. This is like really, this is hour one or whatever. Hey, you can come on my podcast, we'll rehearse. I would love to come on your podcast.

This is the first time I've been invited. Oh, yeah, you'd be a great guest. And now it's public. It'll be me and Rich just peppering with you with questions about your new enterprise. Well, let me tell you about my new enterprise. Do you love excitement? I do.

Are you addicted to adrenaline? I'm really into big ideas too. Do you love ideas that are so big that there is in a room where they can be how to find the ideas that I need on the internet today? Do you love transformative experiences that change the way you think about the world? You know what I like too is multi-platform experiences that really hold and can transmit a sponsor's message. What if I told you that multi-platform doesn't even begin to describe the kind of business I'm working on?

Would you call this Terra platform? Let's just say that the word platform won't be a factor. Orbital space. At least not in the way your human brain can understand it. Well, this is great. Okay, anyhow, and that's our show. Paul, thank you so much. God bless you.

And you will be back someday. And let's, oh, I that's our show Paul. Thank you so much. God bless you and and you will be back someday and and let's Oh, I had to one suggestion. I was gonna tell you when we were talking about apps. Yeah, I'm thinking the new piece for you What is that what is apps? What is apps? I guess is better. I was gonna say what is app, but okay? I'm gonna think about 209000 app but okay something to think about all right I love it 29000 29000 what is it 29000? It is a lot of words. 39000. Yeah so like yeah 39000 words on apps and big US no more words.

You could probably do it you could probably do a bit of it on appetizers just to you could throw it in there. Yeah then you just put a little little little apps here's what apps here's what apps ain't yeah it's nice just skewer with some, with the, some OSA. All right. It's not really the better. Thank you again. God bless.

Let us our show for this week. We'll be back next week with more tomorrow. And as always, I wish you and your family the very best, though I understand that Captain Barnacles has taken your family the very best, though I understand that Captain Barnacles has taken your family deep, deep under sea, and he's doing an investigation on them right now. you