Tomorrow - Episode 62: Mike Drucker Will Activate Skynet

Episode Date: July 19, 2016

COME ON DOWN TO EPISODE 62, IT'S LIT! Josh is hosting the hottest event of the year, with the hottest guest: Mike Drucker – podcaster, stand up, and writer for The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon. We're planning a rager with all your favorite podcast topics, such as: -Clubbing for profit -Japanese video games -The level of nerdiness we can each get away with -The hottest Thank You notes on TV -Terminator Genisys -Freedom Fries -Neil Gaiman Drinks are BYOB and this party will go on all night... or until the episode ends. Listeners get in free. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey and welcome to tomorrow, I'm your host, Joshua Tipulski. Today in the podcast we discuss Slurmas McKenzie, Meet Cutes, and Terminator Genesis. But first, a word from our sponsor. The future of the Data Center is moving to the cloud and this presents great opportunities for business and IT. Lenovo is shaped the next generation data center by enabling companies to create scalable cloud infrastructures. Unburdened by legacy systems, Lenovo partners with best in class offer providers to deliver end-to-end cloud systems that minimize the time to business value. Lenovo cloud optimize systems offer proven reliability and thoughtful innovations that help boost efficiency.

They're taking turnkey infrastructure for private and hybrid clouds that set up, scale, and become operational quickly. Learn more about how Lenovo is transforming the data center at solutions.lenovo.com. Tomorrow is supported by city cards with Android Pay. Listening on your phone? Now, you can pay while you listen using the same device. Just tap and go. Download the Android Pay app on Google Play or visit city.com slash Android Pay to get

started. Android Pay is available for eligible city consumer credit cards and debit cards. My guest today is a writer on the tonight show with Jimmy Fallon, and a former Nintendo employee, which is probably the first time in the history of the tonight show that that has happened. I'm of course referring to the beloved comedian, Mike Drucker. Hi. Mike, thank you for being here.

Thank you for having me. You're also a podcast that you host a podcast called How to Be a Person. How to Be a Person. That's right. Now, I've never listened to your podcast. That's okay. But you've never listened to this podcast.

I've never listened to this podcast. So, so we're even. Right. Tell me about what how to be a person. What is how to be a person? Me and a now former tonight's a writer, Jess we're even. Right. Tell me about what, how to be a person. What is how to be a person? Me and a now former Tonight Show writer, Jess Dwak, we both realize we're social cripples. We don't know how to do things. Like we have friends who are good at making friends or people who know how to throw a party.

And we just don't know how. So we wanted to do a podcast where we talk to people who are good at like life things. Oh yeah. And they teach us how to do that. That's a great idea. Yeah. Now how, how minute do you go down on that? How does stitch a button? Do you go that far down? We try not to.

It's a bigger life event. There's been one or two people who didn't prepare anything and they've been like, how to parallel park. And it's like, all right, I don't know how that works in a podcast. But then we've had like, we've had, had a live in different country. The best one we've had like, we've had, you know, had a live in a different country. One, the best one we've had was

how to keep in touch with people. Cause when we heard that, we were like, oh, that sounds terrible. But then it's a guy that was like, listen, there are people from high school or college you don't talk to anymore. And if you send them one text message, they're gonna feel great about themselves.

And you're like, and like, when you're listening to that, you're like, yeah, that's true. Like if someone reaches out to you on Facebook with wanting nothing, not like when they're like, hey, man, could you promote my thing when they're like, hey, I haven't talked to you in a while. I see you're like, yeah, that's true. If someone reaches out to you on Facebook with wanting nothing, not like when they're like, hey man, could you promote my thing when they're like, hey, I haven't talked to you in a while. I see you're doing stuff. Great work.

You feel great. Do you? Yeah, don't you? No. Don't you like if someone from high school was like, hey, it's good to see you doing somewhere. No, I didn't really go to high school. So it's, but if somebody reaches out from my past,

I'm generally like, what's happening? Well, yeah. What do you have on me? You can't prove anything. I feel like you get that negative feedback of like, you say, well, how things are going, how things are going, how's this going, blah, blah, blah, let's get together.

And then you don't talk and I'm like, wow, they must have thought I was a weirdo for doing that. Well, you should say, let's get together. Yeah, you just, why would you do that? Well, cause once you're talking for a while, you're like going back and forth on Facebook, you're like, well, if you're ever in the city, let me know. I don't think you understand how small talk works.

I think that's your problem. Actually, I never make plans. Speaking of small, yeah, I would not make plans. I'd be like, great talk, could you catch a later, and then block. Now, you said you did a show about how to throw a party. Yeah. What's the mystery about how to throw a party to you?

I'm curious. I mean, it's just like a better homes and gardens situation. No, it's not like, it's not like how to throw a party. Yeah. What's the mystery about how to throw a party to you? I'm curious. I mean, it's just like a better homes and gardens situation. No, it's not like how to like, how to like design the rights of ways. It's sort of like how to throw, you know, because we had a guy named Seth Hartzog who throws great parties, he throws a great, you know. Why do I know that name?

He's the warm up guy I'm Fallon. Oh yeah, he's fantastic. He's really funny. Yeah. And what he talked about was the right way to pick people to go to a party, not just inviting everybody, how to pick the right music, how to plan it. He's figured out a way where he'll throw parties

at bars for friends, but the bars will pay him to throw that party. What? And it's crazy. And he taught us this whole system of basically flimflaming money out of your friends at a party. What? And it was really cool.

So he has a pyramid scheme he's like a pyramid scheme. He has a social pyramid scheme. Under the guise of a party. Right. And we learn that. Everybody pays five bucks. Right. Sounds familiar, Ryan.

Listen, if you can bring two friends to this party. Right? Yeah. Well, it's like the bars. I think it's that he invites some of these big parties at bars. And then because the bars make so much money, they give them a cut of it.? Well, it's like the bars. I think it's that he invites some of these big parties at bars and then because the bars make so much money, they give them a cut of it. Oh, so it's like, what, I know what people do do this

where they host and then they have like a list of like, there's the four hosts. But you're like, I'm paying $20 for you to hold. I didn't even see you. My dream is to do what Scott Dysek does. Which is, no, have you read the story, the GQ story about how he gets paid to go to party. Right.

He gets paid to, are you from any of the slurms, Mackenzie, from the start? Yes, I'm from the future of him. I got to have you remember, but slur, I don't know. I love that you're probably one of very few people I would have casually dropped slurms, Mackenzie. And I'm like, yeah, of course. Oh, yeah, slurms.

Well, you remember like, slurms, there's a, famous, it might be one of the Netflix parts of the, of the Futurama story. And he has Slurms, McKenzie has to like, save the day essentially by partying. And he's just like so tired from partying. He just wants to like,

he just wants to like watch, go home and watch a movie, but he can't, because his Slurms, McKenzie is like spud, this is like so out there. But I don't think the moral was that you want that life. The moral was that you don't want that life. But Scott Disco makes a lot of money just partying. But he's also like got a severe drinking problem.

He's like slurps McKenzie. He's the slurps McKenzie of reality. He just was thirst for death. You read those stories that are like Paris Hilton went to host a New Year's Eve or whatever, she was getting paid $50,000. She went for 10 minutes and then she's like, I'm tired, I don't feel good. But it's like, she was getting paid $50,000. She went for 10 minutes and then she was like, I'm tired, I don't feel good.

But it's like, you're getting paid $50,000. You have a trade, but to her $50,000 is nothing. Right, it is like, who gives a shit? She's like 50,000, I don't care. That's what you spend so much fun. She spends that on an Uber in one night. I don't know, I feel like there's some sort of emptiness behind that.

You know, like the Britney Spears song lucky You know where you know you you're a star, but you cry cry cry and you're lonely hard I feel like it's like Maslow's pyramid of needs when they have enough You know you got to do something you got to get the next thing. I'm unfamiliar with that pyramid So Do I hear pyramid I'm interested in is the scheme that I'm writing? Well, I mean you could probably I don't, you could show up at like D&D games and like, guess too fine.

Oh, guess good. Bastard. You're saying that my, my, you're well, my like Las Vegas nightclub is a D&D party. Comic Con after party. Comic Con after party. First off, let me just say this,

no way would anybody give a shit about me. Second, I will say this, the D&D party, I don't know if those exist, but that sounds to me like a place I'd like to be. Right, not, you don't have to pay me to be there. Let me get in there with my character Deathbringer and show you how it's done. You can, he's chaotic neutral, which is impossible to play, but I'm gonna do it anyway. Chaotic neutral, what does that mean? Don't know. I'm a real asshole this game. Do you play D& I'm gonna do it. Okay, how about neutral? What does that mean? Don't know. I mean, I'm a real asshole this game.

Do you play D&D? I do play D&D. I don't currently, I'm not currently in a group, but like if someone, with like, A-D-N-D or D&D. Sorry? A-D-N-D or D&D? Now it's just D&D.

Oh, is there no, is there any? There's no A-D-N-D in D&D. Why I only play A-D-N-D when I was a kid? Right. I don't know anything about the D&D universe, except it's for losers. Right. It's for dumb losers. It is. So now it's all D&D? It about the D&D universe, except it's for losers. Right. It's for dumb losers.

It is. So now it's all D&D? It's all D&D. I've got a lot of stuff with my world, see? At any rate, I didn't have a character named deathbringer. I don't remember his name or her name. But the important thing is that they had a lot of charisma. You had a lot of fun with friends that you like.

Yeah, kind of. All right, so let's get back to you. Let's get back to me. So you're a writer for the tonight show. You and I really have never crossed paths. I thought like when I when I was like because we are like on Twitter You and I kind of interact on Twitter every once in a while. I thought certainly we've met each other. No, we've never met That's weird, but they don't let you guys out of it. Whatever writers don't even know. Well, no, that's also where, like, you know, when you guys, when guests are coming in for the show,

we're usually working on things. So unless we're working with you, we don't really have a reason to meet you. Yeah. It's just at the same time we're doing something different. We just are shared interests, should be enough of a reason. Yeah, but how?

Come up and talk about Twitter. How weird would it be if like an overweight bald 32 year old man came up to you? And it was like, I also love gadgets. No, it would be fine. That would be great. No, it wouldn't. I would, it would feel more natural

to talk to you to Tom Cruise about gadgets. Right. It was the greatest experience in my life. How many times have I brought that up on the show? I don't think there's a show that's gone by without the cruise missile making an overhead appearance. Oh, you're using it, yes, very good. Like would you rather talk to me or Tom Cruise

about like USB 3 or something? I'd rather talk to Tom Cruise about anything else. My life to use it. Yes, very good. Like, would you rather talk to me or Tom Cruise about like USB-3? I'd rather talk to Tom Cruise about anything. My life is worth. Yes. It does, do you notice me swearing? But anyhow, so tell me about your path because you were at Nintendo. Right, I was at Nintendo.

When we do an Nintendo, I was what was called a localization writer. Okay, explain that job to me. That means I'm partnered with a Japanese translator to help games make sense in English. So you might have been, had you not left? Right. And we'll get to this.

Yeah, we'll get to this. But you might have been involved in some Pokemon Go stuff. Pokemon company has its own team. You know what? Don't get it. I don't need that. I don't need your actual answer. Yeah, I couldn't have been involved.

I could have been really involved with it. Alright, so you were low, so you would team up with the Japanese translator, translator. And we'd make games make sense in English. So like, you know, like, if someone, like, the translator would be like, okay, this is what this guy is saying, but he's saying it with a rough, like, in Japanese, his accent implies that he's like,

lower class, so how would we write that here? Or like, he's rough. So it's sort of like cultural signifiers. They're like, he's a rough customer. Exactly, he's like, right. Because if you do a direct translation, it would just be like, helloifiers. They're like, he's a rough customer. Exactly, we feel like. Right. Because if you do direct translation, it would just be like, hello, hi, this is my sort, but like you're losing like, lingo and slang

and sort of the accent writing. So what games did you work on? I worked on a game called Kidacris Uprising for the Nintendo 3DS. Sure, Nick, can you sum of the plot of Kidacris Uprising? So yeah, Thanatos. Well, how much of it to spoil? Because one of them's supposed to be the villain and you know what is it for the 3ds? Three yes and in time though 3ds so this is pretty old the game's pretty old

But games like you know one of those skip ahead 30 second. You know it's spoiler alert We're gonna give you we're gonna reveal the the spoiler big Surprising kidic risk uprising. Um, so get ready So I worked on that forward and then I worked on Mario party nine Wait, what's it? What's the reading? The plot's so convoluted. Uh, it's can you give me a nutshell kind of version? Okay, uh, basically You're supposed to think that

Medusa is trying to take over Angel land Medusa is trying to take over angel land. What's angel land? In Kidakris and Palatina, who's like his boss, who's like a god who's his boss, is like we need to come back, it's been a while and it's very like self-referential. And you go and fight out, you know,

fight a bunch of bad guys. All right, so you worked at Mario Party 9. I also worked at Mario Party 9. You also applied me with vodka before we did this. I didn't think I'd have to go through the plot of like a Japanese video game. It's why not. It's party, it was your job.

You didn't go come up. Mario Party 9, the plot of Mario Party 9. Like I played that obsessively, but how much language is there that? All the titles are puns. So a lot of it's like writing the pun game titles. Like I wrote pizza me Mario. What?

I'll take, yeah, like it's a me Mario, but pizza me Mario. What? I'll take, yeah. Like it's a me Mario, but pizza me Mario. Pizza me Mario. Yeah. Yeah. That's not good. So what I'm saying is that I don't deserve a career. What other puns?

That's the only one I remember. So we need to turn these Japanese puns into English puns. Okay. I don't even know what a Mario party is like as a game Yeah, it's oh Mario party's the best. Yeah, it's like a bunch of little mini games and you compete with your friends Yeah, you said a party. Yeah, at a party. That sounds I wouldn't know anything about that I would know anything about playing a video game at a party listen when someone offers you a $50,000 check to play Mario party You'll show up does that happen? No, I'm saying if you learn to be Kenzie your way into it.

If you play it up, yeah, no, if they want me to dissick into that Mario Party situation, I'm there. If there's any game developers listening to this that want to pay Josh to show up and play their game. You want me to play you want to play Strider 5? I'll be there. I'm like, you do it. That's your seven.

Yeah, that's your seven. You have a Splatter House 3? Does that exist? I can tell exactly where you stop playing video games I'm like you do it. I'm like you do it. I'm like you do it. I'm like you do it. I'm like you do it. I'm like you do it. I'm like you do it. I'm like you do it. I'm like you do it. I'm like you do it. I'm like you do it.

I'm like you do it. I'm like you do it. I'm like you do it. I'm like you do it. I'm like you do it. I'm like you do it. I'm like you do it. I'm like you do it.

I'm like you do it. I'm like you do it. I'm like you do it. I'm like you do it. I'm like you do it. I'm like you do it. I'm like you do it. I of that was made up. No, what's the last game I played? Let me tell you, my problem is actually I have. You played Fallout, right?

I started playing Fallout 4 and then, you know, Fallout 3 is my favorite, one of my favorite games of all time. Okay. Because I like to wander aimlessly and do nothing. New Vegas is not good. But then there's Fallout. It's not good. I like New Vegas.

Alright, whatever. We could disagree. It's fair to mid lane. What's the new fallout call it? It's fallout for four. Yeah. It's just so so fast. Yeah. I'm like I got a kid now. You don't have any kids, right? No, I don't have any kids. You're all you're all you going too fast for you for that. I don't No, I'm just I'm just like, there's so much land here. What am I gonna do? I got two hours a night. You just said, I love to go out and explore. Well, I don't want to explore. In if fallout, three era, yeah. In a post-child, busy life.

I got it. I got it. I got two hours a night. Yeah. And I'm not gonna wander the wasteland. You're gonna be making love. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. A DECIDE PARTY. A DECIDE PARTY? I think they're singing Stephen Bleak, you're saying DECIDE PARTY.

A social event that doesn't require sitting most of the time. Can I take place in my own home? Was it for a specific event? Yeah. Or were there just fewer chairs than people? I'm going to go with party. I can't remember. For a while, here's the thing. Okay, okay.

My Xbox One didn't, like the power supply got fried or something. Right, right, from too much blank. No, I think from not being used, it felt neglected. Right. I tried to turn it on, just like, I just opted out. I tried to turn it on, I just killed itself. I tried to turn it on three tried to really three weeks ago and it didn't turn on right it was like it was like sorry You know, it's like you use it to lose it right that was the that's the

Anyhow okay, so you were in Nintendo Nintendo you were at Nintendo and then you left you left there right and you went where I went to I GM Which is a video game. Which stands for IGN's internet game network. A full shit. Internet game network. Really? They haven't used those initials since 1997. They should change their name to a regular name.

Well, they already had the branding and everything and you know, branding's everything. Imagine games network. Imagine games network. It's like, it's like, can you picture a games network? This is it. So what were you doing to that, Jan? I was doing, I was supposed to do comedy videos.

And I think some of them were comedy videos. What does that mean? It just, I was still learning what I was doing. They sort of, they got a bunch of money from YouTube to sort of do an entertainment type thing. You know, IGN Plus. IGN Plus, like fun content. It wasn't like paid, it wasn't behind a paywall or anything like that, but they just wanted

to do sort of more entertaining, non-criticism or journalism. And so they hired me to write it. And it was a lot of fun. I think that I learned a lot. I think sometimes I failed, but I've learned a lot. Well, you know, they say is fail fast. Fail fast, fail hard. And fail hard.

And then you're gonna learn all sorts of interesting things. But I had fun. I did it for a year. So you do that for a one year. Yeah. And then. And then I was hired by, at the time late night with Jimmy Fallon.

Now, no. So how does that happen? I'm actually curious. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm legitimately curious. Okay, okay. You do some comedy yeah. I'm legitimately curious. OK, OK. You do some comedy stuff on YouTube for IGN. Right.

Post your Nintendo career. Right. And then you go to work on late night. Right. Is Gavin involved in that? Gavin sort of involved in that. I can say Gavin Prasell, who we're talking about, who is the executive producer of the tonight's

one of the producers of the show one of the one is he an executive producer or producer no if he is but Gavin was at G4 yeah Gavin produced a tack of the show exactly which is like has deep roots in the video game and nerd universe and the Chris Hardwick world and all that right so you're you're doing this video series I'm doing the video series. No one happens. Well, at the same time, I had applied in the past. I had applied a couple of times in the past through my comedy manager and I did not get the job. They rejected you.

They rejected me. Who's your comedy manager? A guy named Dave Rath. Dave Rath, do I? You look like a younger version of Dave Rath. I do. Yeah, you do. So Dave Rath is old.

Like, he could be your older brother. Oh, really? Or, or, or probably not your dad, but you're like older brother. That sounds nice. Yeah. I'd like to meet him. You should. I'm open to it. Day Rath is old. Like he could be your older brother. Oh, really? Or probably not your dad, but you're like older brother. That sounds nice. Yeah. I'd like to meet him. You should.

I'm open to it. Yeah. Tell Day Rath I'm available. So I applied before, but I was also doing, I've been doing stand up throughout my career. And I did something called the Montreal Comedy Festival as a new face. Famous.

Very famous. Very famous comedy festival. That's where Jimmy Hendrix said his guitar on fire. That is exactly where Jimmy Hendrick set his guitar on fire. That is exactly where Jimmy Hendrick set his guitar on fire. That was also where Altamont happened. You could forget when the Rolling Stones security went a little crazy. That was at the Montreal Comedy Festival. Stabbed and stabbed Jimmy Hendrick.

They murdered some people there. Or the best. Yeah, so I did Montreal Comedy Festival and I think it was also during the 2012 election. I was tweeting a lot about it and the tweets were doing well. Yeah, because your Twitter account is like, and you should follow what's your handle to my trucker, yeah, my trucker. Yeah. You're very, you have a, I like your personality on Twitter because it feels like you

don't have a good filter. Right. And you just say things like if you're angry about something, you'll just tweet about it. Right. Well, I don't, but also give a like a comedy concept, you'll just tweet about it. Right. Well, I'd also give a comedy concept, you might tweet that as well. Right, well, I don't subscribe to this view that unless you have a very thorough comedy character,

I hate this thing where if you like something, you can't tweet about it because it's not funny to like things. And if you're mad about it. Is that a thing? Yeah, there's people who just like won't, who have no personality on Twitter. It's all joke after joke after joke, which is fine.

You're giving example. I'm not gonna give you an example of a friend of mine. I'm not gonna throw someone under the light. Well, no, I would say Jenny, what's her name? Jenny Johnson High Five or whatever her name is? Who? Jenny Johnson High Five, you just made that up. That is a Twitter user, that is a Twitter, I will confirm it.

All she does is tweet at celebrities, like insults mean things. You're a dumb slut bitch, bubble, bubble, bubble, Rob Delaney is a bokeh. She got a book deal, she got on TV shows, and so she doesn't tweet anything positive. It's just snark and mean. Right. But it's like her character.

It's like her character. But it's very, I don't know. But Rob Delny will occasionally tweet about how Trump sucks. Right. Exactly. Right. And I think I like doing that. He's like, I guess he's in England now. He lives in England.

Right. And he has to deal with Theresa May, the new prime minister. So he's upset about that or happy. I don't know. I don't know. I know. I think he's upset. I think that she's not good. Oh, she's not. I don't think she's good. I don't know who can tell. But you say it's interesting. Sorry, it's totally off topic.

No, it's okay. Sort of on topic. But watching England fall apart politically, I get how people feel about Trump outside of the US. We're like, oh my god, this is a fucking national tragedy. And outside of the US, they're like, what's going on in the US? That seems interesting.

And it's like just a complete side show. Right. It's in England to me right now. If you're a British person, you're like, my country is lost. Yeah. They have flushed down the toilet. But to us, we're like,

oh, some weirdo's taking over. Isn't that charming? Isn't that funny? Well, I think you're also like, oh, you guyso's taking over. Is that charming? Is that funny? Well, I think you're also like, oh, you guys are all doing this, which is how other people view us with Trump. They're like, oh, you Americans,

you've all decided as a whole to make Trump a thing. Yeah. Where is most of us are? Well, it's the Bush years again, where it's like, we're all like, we know. I can't believe this. I have to have embarrassing. Remember how good we all felt about Obama

when he was elected? Like, we're like, look at the world! I don't have a comparison. Remember how good we all felt about Obama when he was elected? Like, we're like, so smart. Look at this, look what we did. Like boom, like mic drop. I remember meeting people who were traveling here and they kept saying like, good for you guys. Right. Like, you did it.

We don't look like a piece of shit anymore. It felt like we were in a really good relationship with somebody where everyone's like, listen, hold on to this one for a while. Yeah, no, and then then like the Republicans were so mad because Obama was like being nice to foreigners. Right. They like could not handle it.

No. And it's like, no, it's like, no, this is great. Like we suddenly for the first time in a long time seemed like reasonable people. Right. We just seemed like normal. We went from the subway crazy person who goes on and is like, just so you know I'm starting fights.

Right. We're being someone who just like gives up his seat for someone else. Remember George Bush is like, bring it on like after 9-11 or whatever and it's like, what? When the coalition of the willing, and if you're not willing, right, we're called a freedom fries buddy. Oh my God, freedom fries. Freedom fries, that's right, freedom fries.

I forgot. We were mad at France. And we, we didn't even, I thought he punched up the sun even their food. I'm sorry, the queen not tied my food, but I would kill for some freedom fries. I forgot we were mad at France and we They're food Sorry, the queen not take my food, but I would kill for some freedom fries right now. I would I'm so hungry anyhow getting back to your career getting back to my career. Yeah, so You join late night a join late night and and what is your role? You're a writer. I'm a writer I focus on some what I'm mainly monologue. I do a lot of the thank you notes. Really?

Yeah. Oh, thank you notes. Huge franchise. Thank you notes is a lot of, thank you notes is my favorite thing to write for the show. You get no piece of that, right? Just to be clear.

You know, I point on that or something. No, I'm paid my, I'm paid my, my wage. You get your, whatever, like your national writer association wage has been negotiated. Exactly. Okay. So you're in kind of a sweatshop situation.

But you're right, so I'm going to grade as most meaningful material on the tonight show. Right, exactly. It's not a sweatshop though, they're not like hitting us. Well, we don't know. I don't know.

We get bagels on Monday, pizza on Friday. Please stop talking about food. I can't go for a big one. We get pizza every, Foxconn doesn't get pizza on Friday. Don't need that much. No, Foxconn, they put the nets out and they call it a day.

They call set. So, so what's, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, know, it's cool, right? Jimmy will say, hey, I want us to do a couple of these topics. And it'll be big news or things that are like a movie he wants to talk about. And we'll write it in some way. So Jimmy's like, I want to talk about Godzilla. Right, yeah, exactly.

If there were a new Godzilla movie. So Jimmy will come in. Right. And I know Jimmy a little bit. You know Jimmy a little bit. You've got a bit. You've hung out. Yeah, a little bit.

He'll come into the writers room. Right. And you guys are working on thank you notes. He's like, we got to talk about X. Well, he doesn't come into the room. He tells, uh, a supervising writers hate. He's not like on a throne. It's like a crow. He's a crow. He's in the row. He's a game of thrones. Like, he sends a crow out with a message. He sends a crow out from his throne 17 levels above us. Yeah. No, he tells the writing supervisor what he wants to focus on, and then we focus on that.

And then the rest of them are sort of freeform. It's almost like writing Twitter jokes, but in the voice of the show. Right. So I'll be like, oh, I thought a funny thought about basketball, then I'll write funny thought about basketball, then I'll write a thought about basketball and it'll be a joke. Because actually, the thank you notes are probably the closest to random thoughts.

Right. Exactly. Like, random Twitter thoughts, right? And that's what's fun about it. Because they are like, yeah. Weird. And that's what I like about it is, you know, like, like, I like writing monologue jokes, but right now in the election, like, we're so far into Trump and we're so far into Hillary

that, you know, especially with Trump, you're just tired of writing, you know, it's so hard to find new angles on Trump. Really? And especially because he's such a heightened personality that you're like, well, I don't want to just play into what you want me to play into. Like, you know what I mean? Like, what are your constraints like with Trump because he comes on the show? We don't really have, luckily, one of the nice things is,

outside of like just the style of what we would do or normally wouldn't do, Jimmy doesn't want us limiting stuff. Like we're not being nice to Trump because he's on the show. We're not being nice to him. He's a part of us in. Right, exactly.

But it's still like, you gotta be careful. I mean, because you got the guy coming on the show. No, I mean, we've never been like warned about jokes or anything like that. I mean, then again, our show, like also, we're not a show that's gonna be like, all right, we're gonna rip them apart. That's not our show, we wouldn't do that with anybody.

You know what I mean? Like, we're not gonna like, you know, Kim Kardashian doesn't come on our show, hasn't been on our show, I think for a very long time, but we're not like, not like, man, ripper apart, or nor are we like, be very nice to her because we want her to come. Right. I think when someone's in the public sphere, they're sort of like, okay, make fun of them in the way that our show would make fun of them.

Is there, I mean, there's no, I mean, like if you look at Jay Leno's night show, it's very broad and safe. And the jokes are at a level that, even if you're making fun of somebody, it's so obvious that it's like a joke. You guys are a little deeper than that. Thank you. And you don't get, and you don't get,

I'm not, this is interesting to me that you don't get guidance on, like don't go too hard on somebody. You know, the only thing we'll get sometimes is like, they'll be like, hey, we've done like a lot of, you know, Donald Trump's orange. Let's stay away from that. It's feeling kind of stale right now.

Right. You know what I mean? Like sometimes we'll be like, oh, I'm a little, you know, like, let's move off this. This doesn't seem to be working anymore or people, you know, like, the orange thing has played. The hair thing has to be working anymore or people. You know, like- The orange thing has played, the hair thing has played. Like exactly.

What do you have to go after the hands? No, that's over. Hands, money, his weird relationship with his family. Yeah. There's stuff to go after. You know, a lot of the problem is there's, with comedy writing, especially topical comedy writing, it's a chicken and egg problem,

it's what's the audience aware of, that you can make fun of, but also sometimes the audience isn't aware of a trope until you make fun of it. Right. And that applies to any show, like whether you're the daily show or us, it's sort of like, okay, how do you inform the audience of something so you can make fun of it without clearly being like, hey, this is what we're going to make fun of now. And that's the biggest, especially around elections like this, the biggest problem is just not having

the audience burned out on a candidate's comedy. Because you don't want it to be like, okay, you've made fun of Hillary's pants suits. You want them to think that, okay, this, you know what I mean? Have you? Have I? I mean, have there been jokes about Hillary

or her pants suits? I think that was, I think that was a joke long ago before like email scandals came out and stuff like that. I think that's when nobody had any, nobody knew what to say about her. Are there email scandal jokes? Email scandal jokes, sure. Like giving example of an email scandal.

I can't think of one off the top of my head. Watch this tonight's show at 11.30. Wow. Okay, good plug. Yeah, I'm just, I'm just trying to figure out like what's the, I mean, I feel like the email scandal thing is so. Yeah, it's so complex. Well, yeah.

It's hard to joke about. It's hard to joke about. The other thing I should say is, all right jokes that I disagree with politically because that's part of my job. Jimmy always wants us to make fun of both sides and I like Hillary infinitely more than Donald Trump, but I'll still write jokes making fun of Hillary,

and it's not like some moral choice. It's like, okay, this is my job to write jokes that entertain all of America, even the half of America that I don't necessarily always agree with. Not really a half at this point. Right, I think it's a much lower percentage. Maybe a third of America I don't necessarily agree with.

You know, so sometimes you just have to, I don't know, you have to make fun of candidates even if you like them. I make fun of Bernie Sanders a lot, and I like Bernie Sanders. Yeah, you're a Bernie bro. I'm not a Bernie bro. I liked Bernie, but I was never someone

who would attack someone online for not liking Bernie. That's a very strange way to be, you know, we should take a break, and we'll be back with more mic drucker. Right or Zyte to think of a Mr. Drucker. Oh, thank you. Yeah, thank you. What? Medrucker.

Medrucker. That's new. I don't think of him that way at all. I think I will be back with more after this. Tomorrow is supported by CityCards with Android Pay. How cool is it that we live in a world where you can use the same device to listen to tomorrow and buy your morning coffee, groceries, and more? Did I mention it's a super fast way to pay? Just use your city card with Android Pay at the register.

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Blue Apron, a better way to cook. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ We're back with Mike Drucker, who I find to be incredibly charming. Oh, thank you. And also, highly sexual. Oh, well, you are the first. He's that guy. You're telling me the treehouse wasn't a pen of sexual energy.

What is the opposite of a pen of sexual energy? It's a pen of... A group of people making video games. People playing D&D. Yeah, thank you so much. People playing D&D. Yeah. Thank you. So the nerds have taken over. Yeah. Do you agree with this or disagree? I mean, you're clearly like nerd culture clearly shaped you. Sure. And like I think that in the truest sense, people who can speak to like D&D at all, they're on a level. It's right way deep.

But now we live in a world where the Avengers is the most popular movie ever made. Yeah. What is that? How does that change? You know, I don't know. I mean, I also think that they're damn a mic. They're still, I mean, they're still nerdy things that people, just because superheroes are big or because there's a reboot of, people are always like, oh, Ghostbusters, people are taking nerd culture. That was a big movie when it came out in 1984. That was a fucking blockbuster, that's not a nerd culture. But you know what I mean?

I've seen people be like, oh, what I'm mad about, when people are like, oh, I'm not mad about their big women, I'm mad about them marketing nerd culture back to us. It's like like that was a huge box office mask insane that is really are people saying that that anime people on twitter really and i'm a different age game regaters um you know i've seen people say that they're you know use the term appropriating

nerd culture i but that's not like uh that's so frustrated because it's not an indelible part of who you are right like you can take it off i'm saying but i'm saying but there is something to be said for the idea that because it's not an indelible part of who you are. You can take it off. I'm saying, but I'm saying, but there is something to be said for the idea that the Avengers, and they're like fan service shit they do in those movies. Where it's like, oh, the origin story of so and so,

it's like, oh, we finally get to see what happened to Bugby, what is the guy's name? Who plays the winner soldier? What is it? It's a buggy bar. Buggy bar. Buggy bar. Buggy bar is origin story. I'm sorry, like the bug, there are no, to Bug B. What is it guys name? Who plays the winner soldier? What is it? It's a Bucky Barnes. Bucky Barnes. We're begging to do Bucky Barnes origin story.

I'm sorry, like the bug, there are no regular people who are like, what happened with Bucky Barnes? Okay, but I'd argue like, you know, you know, they're just the modern version of Westerns. You know, like, I'm sure that there are people back then who are like, I know everything about the history of the Wild West. And then there were people who was like,

yeah, I want to see some cowboy shoot each other. But isn't it closer to like sports culture? Where like everyone's got some kind of a tone in it, but there are some people who take it very seriously, but they're still the majority. Well, yeah, but at the same time like, you know, like, and sports culture works too, where you have people who are like, I like my team.

I hope they beat the other team. Then there's people who you would call the nerds who are like, who know every statistic, every player's background. We know they're like a 320 for five in the season. But it's shitty to say you're appropriating baseball culture. It is mainstream. I'm not saying it's appropriating. I'm saying what's happened is something

that was considered sacred and also lame by most people. Sacred by a certain culture. It's a subculture. Has become mainstream culture. I mean, but how does that affect what is the subculture now of nerddom? Like where are the nerds? Is this why game reggae exists?

Did nerds have to get driven further and deeper into a dark place by the rise of the Avengers. I don't know, I'm asking Mike. Well, no, you can ask me. I can't, I can't. But you're a member of the game regate. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not. I'm not.

I'm not. I'm not. I'm definitely not. I know you're one of the biggest, the trolls. One of the biggest trolls online. You're a harasser, sexual harasser. Here's the thing, normal harasser. My greatest quality as a nerdy person

is I'm okay with people not liking what I like. I'm not mad when they like what I like. I'm not mad when they don't like what I like. You know, like people online are like, oh, people are only playing Pokemon Go because it's popular right now. It's like, I would play it regardless. I'm sorry, can we tell you about Pokemon Go first?

We can talk about Pokemon Go. Are you playing? I'm playing Pokemon Go. What is the, I mean, I'll say this. Yeah. There is something intriguing to the idea that you have to walk around. Sure. That's a big advancement.

Yeah. I mean, there have been other games that do that, but it does seem like we're infantilizing people. Well, there it's okay. Here's the thing. Pokemon Go is a Snapchat filter you can play with. You know, like you could also put a wreath of flowers

on your head in real life or put a funny cowboy hat on your head or a dog costume, but it's fun to be able to take a quick picture of yourself or your surroundings being augmented by something silly. Yeah. And that's half the fun of Pokemon Go. It's like, explain the Pokemon Go concept.

So I'm giving these things, these balls. Right, you're giving Pokemon, well, I mean, the concept of Pokemon is that you catch these animals, and then you make them fight each other, which is a morally questionable thing. Why would you do that?

Because they can. They're like dog fighting. It's a lot like dog fighting. Why, that seems very inappropriate. I didn't make it up, I didn't create it. I mean, I'm not saying that I agree or disagree with it, but I'm just saying that if I got a cute dog, right, just, and it was sentient,

like they have feelings, they have emotions. Yeah, if I got a dog that loved to lick, right, and I was like, you're gonna fight a fucking eagle. Right, that would be wrong. That would be wrong, but imagine if you could just spray it with like for breeze And it would be completely healed and like when you watch the TV show they're think like people and they're like down for this right They're like I want the honor of the win right exactly like Peek-a-peek-a-peek-a-peek-a-peek-a-win like none of them are looking back at fair

That's not because they've been raised is essentially slaves to their There's a lot we're talking about again and start all culture right no it's like they've been raised is essentially slaves to their there's a lot we're talking about again. I'm sorry. Paul called right. No, it's like they've been raised like want to fight, but they don't have to it's like pitfalls. It's like it's like the Olympics. It's a lot like the Olympics. The Olympics. He means Zika drenched Rio. Right. Where people are literally dying to win. Yeah, that's basically a Pokemon. That is what Pokemon is. Yeah. So I started playing I but I didn't get,

I didn't get, I didn't capture very many Pokemon. You didn't get on Pokemon early on though, you never played the Game Boy game? Zero fucking interest, can I just say? I'm sorry, I'm into a lot of nerdy shit. Right. But zero interest, I'll tell you, once I hit with some nerdy stuff,

I want to see John Carpenter play. How was that? Okay, so, hallelujah, let me just before I say how it was. John Carpenter, director of some of the most famous and important horror movies of all time. Yeah. The thing, Prince of Darkness, Christine, Halloween, Halloween and probably at the top of the list.

The list goes on and on in the mouth of madness, which one of my favorites. Yeah, John Carpenter tours as a musician, because he also wrote most of the music for his movie. He wrote the Halloween theme. Yes, he did. Which is one of the best and iconic, one of the most important iconic.

So anyhow, I went to see him play, I'm sorry, but this is how nerdy I am. I'm just trying to explain. Right. The show just trying to explain. The show was incredible. It may have been the greatest concert I've ever been to in my entire life. Because I realized when I was listening to his music live, this is the music that I want to listen to all the time.

Yeah, and also they were playing it before he went on in this theater, the PlayStation Theater, which is in Times Square. You know the theater? Oh, do I know that theater? Why do you know it? Why do you know? Because my brother likes to go to the hip hop up crunches

and I've taken him and I'm the gay man standing at the bar and be like, you want to make another cons? Well, that's going on. I was in escort for like four years. Very strict about having made drinks. Right. They were playing John Cardney's the whole time before he came on and it's like,

when you hear that music being played in your environment, it makes everything about what's going on seem like you're in a movie. Yeah, it's really exciting. And it was incredible. But my point is like the Pokemon thing. Yeah. It never touched me in any way. Well, and here's the thing is, the reason it's taking off now with Go is because it's a much simpler, it's a much more simplified version of the game. A lot of the long time, long time fans are like, oh, there's no meta game, you know, a lot of the statistics have been stripped out of it. Can't battle.

You can't battle other people. You can battle sort of like, you can technically battle other people, but it's asynchronous, meaning like someone will go to a location called a gym. They'll win that gym, then they sort of like leave almost like, you know, like in a racing game where there's like a time trial where there's like the ghost racer. They'll leave that behind and you can battle that, but there's no like, you're my friend, I'll battle you.

What's so crazy is that I thought, I mean, my wife Lauren and I were talking about this last night, what seemed cool was like, oh, the Pokemon's are persistent. And you and I are competing to get the Pokemon's. That's an amazing idea. That's not the idea. That's not the idea. It's like you have your Pokemon's,

I have my Pokemon's, there's totally separate. But a lot of it's like the idea that you're going outside, you're meeting other people, you're running into people playing it, you catch them and I read, I read the charming, read it stories about this. Listen, the game itself is not spectacular. It's like, it's pretty good.

It's like sort of a demo. It's the idea that like, I grew up playing Pokemon and then to see them in the real world and other people, right, catching them again. It's like, oh, so this could be really cool when Microsoft, whatever the AR thing they're building is. Yeah, like when that up, HoloLens, it'll become incredible.

So it's more, all of us are very excited at the idea of this. I get it. In execution, it's not. There's no. It's also a huge time-waster. Oh, we've never- Have you met a technology?

Have you met the bills? We love whistaked. Really? Uber is Uber a time-waster? It's okay. Okay, you know what, all right. All right, just do your fucking spot-up. It's okay. Okay, you know what? All right. Just blew your fucking spot up.

It's actually coming. All right, I admit Uber is not a time waster. It's not a time waster. It's not a time waster, but Pokemon Go is there to law us into a translate state. Of course. So the Illuminati, the Illuminati, can begin their...

Which they've been holding out on for a while. It was cheesy and beyond say, running the oluminati. You're releasing Pokemon. You know, that's, here's the thing, every government conspiracy is like, now the government's making their move. It's like, why, why have they not made their move yet? But also, why aren't they better at the stuff

with the non-fire moves? A lot of false flags flying around, but here's what it all say. I hear it all say, here's my thing. I think it's like conspiracy theory concept. It's like, it seems so nice and comfortable to assume that someone has a plan. They're like, oh, it's all coming together.

Here's the scary thing that no one wants to talk about. No one has a fucking plan. No one knows what's going on. Obama and Bush and Hillary and Bernie, whoever, whatever, I don't give a shit. There is no illuminati. The scary part is there is no illuminati. To me, that's the scary part of the model.

That's the reality we're living in right now. Like no one is planning any of this, it's just happening and people can't handle it. Right. Except for Pokemon Go, which is a part of the, of course, the integral part of the expansion of the reptilian overlord race and their command of humanity.

My favorite thing I've heard. Well, online people have been like, well, you know, the government's using Pokemon Go to track where you are with your phone. Yeah, that's your fucking phone. That's how they can already do that. They don't need a program. Like, they're like Nintendo. Hello?

It's like, hello Nintendo. Right. And it's like, hi, this is the CIA. Right. We think if you could create a Pokemon game based on maps, based on Google maps, we think we could really needle in on some terrorists. On your device.

Or whatever that already tell us where people are. I mean, how do you ever bring this shit to a writer's meeting at the tonight show? Well, I mean, Pokemon Go just came out. So I didn't have the chance to have you brought it into the room. I'll be on tonight. Pokemon Go will be talked about tonight on the show.

This is this is the last of our July 11. We're recording on, we're recording on, what is it, Monday, July 11th. July 11th, yeah. This is gonna air next week. Next Tuesday. No, next Tuesday? What the nightmare.

Who knows what's gonna happen. But we now and then we can be living in a complete apocalypse and I think that Pokemon Go activated Skynet. Oh, right. I understand. But I love that. It's a great segue. I want to have about sci-fi.

Okay, let's talk about sci-fi. So you watch a lot of like nerd shit? Yeah. Right? You do, right? Yeah, sure. All right, I just watched Terminator Genesis. Yeah.

Have you watched it? I watched it in the theater with my dad. I want to... Okay. I want to, I'm going to just say to the listener, we're in a spoiler zone right now. Spoiler zone. If you haven't seen this yet, we're going to speak very rapidly about it. Okay.

Quick. Get ready to be spoiled. Terminator Genesis. Now I love T3. Okay, really? That's my favorite terminator. You like terminator? Yes, three.

Three is a favorite. My favorite. So let's look at the facts. Wait, is your favorite part of the meal getting the check? Okay. But T3 is amazing. Okay. Medrucker.

Claire. Claire Danes. Okay. Isrucker. Claire, Claire Daines. Okay. Is it? Claire Daines is in it. It explains a piece of the backstory that's never really addressed. Not a great explanation for it, but sure. Why not?

Why is it not great? Because it's, you know, it's better when it's just like this thing that comes to life, you know. We don't need to be like, well, then the, you know, then the, it was mad about this. know Genesis Genesis Genesis Genesis that's a fucking pile of shit how did that movie get made they're like why is it why does the terminator look old they're like oh the young out for a while the flesh ages we've ever covered this in the earlier part of the terminator but he'll

just age like we solved artificial intelligence but we can't solve telomeres yeah it's like, he'll just, he's gonna get gray hair because his cell's age. It's like, are you, that's the fucking explanation. It's like one Terminator couldn't do a little Botox. One line in the movie and then it's like, and then like the Terminator has a good daddy situation going on with, with, with, um, Sarah Connor. With Sarah Connor. It is absurd. It's very weird. But also, did you understand any of the plot points of Terminator Genesis? Here's the thing is, one of my,

it's incoherent to me. One of the things that people have been doing in sci-fi movies and shows lately is they've used a nondescript app as sort of a boogie man. Right. And so the whole plot of Terminator Genesis, everyone's like, I can't wait to download Genesis onto my phone. And they never really explain what it is.

They're always like, it's like, the best you can glean from it is it's like, it's like Google Docs mixed with Facebook. They're like, no, you can't access to all of your documents. It's like, you can already do that. I was like, can that solve your stuff together? Right. You're like, the people in the movie are like, oh, all of my contacts and documents will be linked

in one, it's like, yeah, it's Google, your Google account. Is that a account? Is that a account? Like, your Gmail and Gmail account. It's gonna be funny when 10 years from now, they play this audio and they're like, they're joking about how the Google became SkyNap

and it actually did. No, but this goes back, and my opinions goes back to that point, which is like, you think Google has a master plan to take over, they don't. They're like, how do we get docs and sheets to match up at this point? Like, well, they don't know what's going on.

Right. Okay. So Genesis. Terminator Genesis. Terminator Genesis. I didn't see the one with Christian bail. I didn't either. Okay, so it's that bad.

It's terrible. It's how bad it is. Yeah, I almost have a Batman versus Superman. I have not seen that, but I'm okay with talking about you. Are you kidding me? I, here's the thing is I bought the ultimate edition. All of my friends with me. Oh, three.

Oh, three extra minutes. Three fucking hours. Everything I heard about it was terrible. But did you but when you were young geek, did you ever like look at think like oh that movie's gonna happen one day And it's gonna be incredible. Yeah, sure. Is your did your dealt with a big flopping disappoint? No because there's been great Batman movies And there's been great superhero movies. I think dark night was a great movie. Ha ha ha Okay, that is the middle Nolan Okay. That is the middle Nolan movie. That is the middle Nolan movie. It's a great movie until the fucking goggles.

Okay. And I'm like, I'm like, you gotta be kidding me. I couldn't believe it. I was watching, I was like, this is incredible. Right. And then they're like, oh, we made these goggles. You can see what's going on in the city because of cell phone saving. Okay, yeah, sure. It unbelievable. I'm like are you kidding me? It's also it's a grappling

hook. It's not like great physics. I'll rip your arm out. Okay a lot about the Batman could be questioned on like a logistical level. Elon Musk is trying but we're not quite. We're just have to bat the bat hook. Okay, I'm not willing to accept this like virtual reality I know there was a fucking gadget writer where they're like where they know that like Bluetooth doesn't work five feet away Is that the movie where the poor people in the rich people are at odds or is that the final one? That's the final one There's a piece of shit And I'm not a big Nolan fan like I hate it interstellar. What? I hate it. Oh, yeah, no, you mean signs.

Yeah, that's a wrap. Here's how I know interstellar is a bad movie. I was like, this is gonna be such a great movie that I'm gonna get very high beforehand. So I had a bunch of edibles. Oh, wow. And in the middle of the movie, I hope you're with your delivery guy.

In the movie, I was like, the fuck is this? I was like, why did I eat this shit? There's teller has so much in common with signs. Yeah, it's almost as if they were like, what have we made signs in space? We made it in space. Also, everything is telegraphed. When they're like, oh, we found Matt Damon.

And his name's Mr. Mann. And you're like, fuck you. Just all of it. That part is good, though. It's, you know what's gonna happen? I didn't know. You know, his name is Mr. Man and you're like, fuck you, just all of it. That part is good though. It's, you know what's gonna happen? I didn't know. You know, come on. You know, like you're like,

you know he's gonna be a bad guy. Spoiler alert, I can't believe Damon was a bad guy. Yeah, he was a bad guy. I love Matt Damon too. I love Matt Damon too. I'm one of my favorite actors. I'm usually sapped that he could ever be a bad guy. But I hate it.

And it's just stellar. You know just curious. I'm just curious. I'm just curious. I'm just curious. I'm just curious. I'm just curious. I'm just curious. I'm just curious. I'm just curious. I'm just curious. I'm just curious. I'm just curious.

I'm just curious. I'm just curious. I'm just curious. I'm just curious. I'm just curious. I'm just curious. I'm just curious. I'm just curious.

I'm just curious. I'm just curious. I'm just curious. I'm just curious. I'm just curious. I'm just curious. I'm just curious. I, sure. Nobody even gets that reference. Right. Beatles record. It's early. Yeah.

It's actually not the early one. Well, I mean, to say like Beatles have their interstellar, like unless you can't like a wings. No, white album. The white fucking white album is their interstellar. Okay, okay. I'll read it out. The point is, all I'm saying is that in...

If you look at nerd culture. Okay. And we look at what's happened to popular culture. Okay. There are a lot of entrants. I think the interstellar is a good example. Yeah. I think that Terminator Genesis is a good example. Right.

Where people are trying to mine the world of nerddom. Right. And failing, kind of failing miserably, right? Like, yeah, to me, like, if you look at something like saga, do we eat saga? Yeah, I love saga. Incredible. Yeah.

But very complex. Yes. You can't make an easy movie out of that. No, but I'd argue, like, you could make maybe a good HBO show, I don't know how to describe it. I was gonna say, what do you think about game of thrones and that format for this kind of thing? Very good, right.

Because it seems like even mainstream fans seem to get it on the level that Geeks get it. Right. And I think, you know, like Westworld, I'm excited about, I wanna see what HBO does with Westworld. Yes, I think it's very interesting territory. I think that what's interesting is that

as mainstream becomes nerd culture, Sure. Or at least adopts it. Yeah. What is nerd culture to you? I think it's just a gradient that goes deeper. I mean, I can't, you know, when I was in, I went to grad school for English lit

and I briefly learned Anglo-Saxon. Nobody's, you know, fucking making movies about Icelandic sagas. You know, there's still nerd shit that's unmind and unexplored. You just have an academia, I mean, that's- Yeah, but a lot of like things under the surface of that, like, I also think that, you know, movies like we were like, oh, they're superhero movies, but Batman's been famous forever. And the Marvel universe is obviously new, but it's also like, you're sort of led into it.

You know what I mean? Like, it hasn't, it's not mean? It's not like all of nerd culture is suddenly one Marvel movie or one Marvel cinematic universe. Like there's no people outside of comic books don't really know saga nerds do, but it's not like your mom's not like, oh I'm gonna get that new saga.

Like she might be with Game of Thrones. No. I think that there's still a lot in my mom's. I'm sorry, I had to get the new Game of Thrones. I don't think that's happening. It's in my mom's eye. I think that the new game of Thrones, I don't think that's happening. It's also, I think, with the internet, it's easier to share things. So you, indie artists, get bigger faster,

comic books that would, you know, people know who Neil Gaiman is. I would still consider Neil Gaiman pretty nerdy. No, definitely fringe. You know what I mean, but people know who he is, people who like maybe 10 years ago, you'd be like, you're not a nerd, you're just a, you know, eccentric person.

But like he has his own American gods is being made to a show. I'm sure that's gonna be a monster hit. Is it? I mean, the book is fantastic. It looks good. I'm really excited. I'm really excited.

I'm really excited. I'm really excited. I'm really excited. I'm really excited. You should read it. It's good. You would really into the book. It's spectacular. Gods are whatever we are. Anything that people really put believe in and put stock in.

So there's a God of the media. And the people like me and you who are obsessed with the media, the more you put time in, the more you worship that. And that God becomes powerful. But American God, some of them die out. So like, for example, the patriarchy God would slowly be losing his grip on things. Oh, wow.

It's really good. And there's a scene where a man's eaten by a vagina. Oh my God, the best scene in the whole, I read that, I did that on audio book. I was driving, I had to pull over, and I was like, this as a gay man is the most horrible. What? Really?

Yeah. Wow. Like a pulsating vagina eats a man. Wow, that does seem so crazy to me. Right. So, like, you know what I mean? Like, you know what I't remember how that experience. There's gonna be gradients to nerd culture.

Yeah, I'll run a second. I'm sorry, I don't want to get deep on this. Sure. We didn't go where you go. You're gay. Yeah, it comes up every week. You love talking about it. I don't mean for a way.

At what point were you like, I'm fucking gay? As a child, I saw the movie Casper and I thought, that boy, the guy who cat, my Casper turns into a human. I was like, Devon Sawa, he's doing it. He just started following me on Twitter and I actually tweeted about him being handsome. Oh, really? I'm a straight, straight, right?

I'm straight, but I'm straight. I'm straight, but I remember as a kid when he appeared, I was like, okay. He's handsome, Jez. The specter. What, how old are you? Probably like six or seven. I remember as a kid when he appeared I was like okay. He's handsome. Just what it howl rio. Probably like six or seven. I remember thinking the the red power ranger I wanted to spend a lot of time Morphin yeah, that's fair. I love I like that's to me is like it's a beautiful

Like why what the fuck is up with humanity? We can't just be like that right? I just remember I remember playing Ursula and being like I'm a big drag queen And my parents are like please stop doing this and I just remember thing But I'm fantastic But you did you dad is cool with it, right? My dad was cooler than my mom You dad is cooler than your mom was now my mom's better than my dad is but it used to be I can't I said I can't fucking believe that. Really? So, no, it's so incredible. Right.

I gotta say, like, just through this lens, like I think about Zelda, and I'm like, I could give a shit. I could give a fuck who she wants to like have sex with. Sure. Like, just like who she falls in love with. It doesn't mean anything to me. So like, what's weird to me, but I think Laura is like, doubly that, this weird to me is that there would have ever been a divide in any way.

I think my dad knew, and my mom was in denial, and my dad was like, all right, well, he's six years old and he's doing a lot of roller skates. There's a lot of like, there's a lot of spice girls going on for like a red-blooded American male. What a strange world, what a strange existence that we define, we have to define these things. It's so crazy.

To be honest, sad is I have a best friend who was just like me who was super effeminate and liked all the things I liked. And he straight as an arrow today and he still puts up with people from high school asking like, did you come out yet? He's like, no, that's just what I liked. But is he gay or not? He's not I've seen his Point he's not gay. He's dated women. He isn't like no legit into this

He's really and he says breasts breasts are a okay, but I think it's yeah, like a straight guys always say yeah Like like breasts they get my stamp This guy but breasts. Breasts are at a fine. They're fine. They're cool. But it's similar to nerdness. Like, my dad was a jock, and my dad realized at an early age, that wasn't when I was going to be.

I was into comic books. I was into aliens. I was into dinosaurs. And he was like, oh no. Like, what are we going to talk about? But I'm sure the same thing. Like, maybe if your dads have niche interests, but you haven't been your dad. Did your dad? My dad. We're gonna talk about but I'm sure the same thing like maybe if your dads have niche interests, but

Your dad did your dad my dad I think he was a nerdy kid, but then he got very into sports So my dad did not right. I'm a mom of the meanie one of the most meaningful moments of my life Was my dad and I were walking through the hallway our front hallway and He stopped me and he was like, you know, I wish I had laser vision. So I could just like laser vision people who I didn't like and they turn it to a pile of dust. And I was like, that's a, I was like 10. Right. I was like, that's a fucking crazy concept.

Right. Like what is that even like in the grand scheme of reality, what does that even mean? Right. But I think that kind of thinking you can imagine from my earliest days To wherever I am now that kind of stuff came up all the time right he was just a you know My dad just a weird guy and he you know he's he's still a weird guy But I do think that there is that has like a profound impact on your World view sure well, I think with comedy people like where your parents funny. No

They were not funny. We mean funny Like made jokes or told stories are wanted to entertain people fucking hilarious No mine are not my dad likes my dad likes to laugh. Right. My dad is like literally giving people shit 24-7. Right. My mom is the queen of storytelling. Oh, that's my mom. She likes to tell a story.

Oh no. She'll just drop some, it's just like, listen what happened to me the other day. I went to the dairy bar. I went to dairy bar. I went to dairy bar. Yeah. My mom's funny in this weird sort of crazy woman way,

where like she'll be yelling at a grape on a counter and that sort of funny and it's like a Tim and Eric way. What is yelling on the grape counter? My mom is crazy. And so like she'll like yell at inanimate objects for like not doing the right thing. Like she'll yell at like the television turns off. She'll be like, ah, the television did it again.

And she'll like yell at it. She's like, I knew you would do this and she'll like yell at it. My mom has, I knew you would do this. And she'll like, yell, my mom has problems. She's legitimately crazy. She's legitimately crazy. But as a kid, it was kind of funny. She's not like, she's not diagnosed crazy. She maybe should be.

She functions. I'm not making fun of anyone else's mental illness. Were you funny with them or were you funny with your friends? I was funny with my friends. I was not funny with them. I think when I was a kid, my parents were going through a hard time, so they were hard on us. So financially, they didn't have a lot of money.

We lost the house, and I think they were so stressed out that they didn't really have time to be a fun family for a little bit, but I was always funny with friends. Well, it sounds to be a fun family. I don't know what a fun family is. I'd be honest with you. I don't know. I mean, when I think about my parents, yeah.

I'm not like, boy, that was fun. I'm like, what the fuck? Yeah, sure, I have a way to mind. I had a run of that. I had a run of that. And to this day, still we go out to eat and I'm like, what is happening? This is a crazy situation.

Apologize to the waitress a lot. Yeah. I just visited family and there were so many apologies to waitresses. So you're writing for the tonight show? Writing for the tonight show. You are clearly your allegiance is to a kind of nerd culture. Sure, yeah. Am I crazy for saying that?

I mean, I definitely consider myself a nerd, but I'm not like someone who... Like a someone who's not nerdy likes what I like, that's fine. I'm not the person who's like, you know, fuck you, you're not, you're not really into video games. What is, how high does Mario jump? I don't have that. Wally, not at all.

Not at all really. You know what, like, if someone says they like something, they like it, it's not my place to like, accuse someone of what people are always like, oh, they're just faking to like it to be like. I'm like, yeah, but everyone does that with everything. You know what I mean? Like, have you ever been like someone's been like, oh, I really like this movie? And you're like, I'm not fine. I like this movie too. I'd like you to like me.

No. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. Do you, do you, you would show up? I'm dated people before. Would they've been interested in like, they're like, oh, I love jazz. And I'm like, all right. I love jazz.

I like, isn't the weather great? You're an elevator and you're like sure. Yeah. It's a day. No, no, I don't. I honestly don't. You've never like you've never just like, okay, have you ever been on a date with someone and they're like, I really like French cinema and you're like sure. I could also like French cinema or at least in open myself to it. If you feel nothing towards it, you're like, yeah, that's great. Like someone's like, I love cheese. You're like, my inclination is to give someone shit about that. Right, see, minus two.

I'm like, you are lucky if I'm more. No, I know, I really am. But I'd be like, oh, good darn, I fucking hate good darts. That's what I would say. I'm such a pleased person. Is that the first thing I do? I'm not a pleased person, I just feel like, I feel like most of the time isn't it easier

to just tell people, like when I go to the suburbs and meet my parents' friends, I'm like, sure, yeah, LaCrosse isn't that the funnest of all the stuff that's great. Exactly. Next, next, I, I, where's the dip? I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be cool here at all. No, no, no, no.

But I literally don't know what that would be like. I cannot conceive of a situation where I would be like, oh yeah. Like if someone's like, I love how humid it is. Someone's like, I love my B-t headphones. You're like, oh, I have to tell you about them. He did that to me. That was the first time I met him.

The first time. Laura claims my wife claims that we met, before we actually met. She says that we met in a mutual friends house right and she was smoking right and I said to her I did not know her right I had never met her before sure but I was like chastising her for cigarette smoking and how was going to kill her and it was discussed it was like a disgusting habit or whatever. And that in her mind is our first memory. Yeah. So I, I'm not, and I just wanna be clear,

I'm not trying to be cool, I'm not trying to be a cool guy. Right. I just think to me honesty and bluntness is like the thing that binds us together as human beings, like above all else. Like our ability to communicate. But like when I met John, we were the discussion we were having was about Starbucks. We met in our orientation group for college and somebody said, I like Starbucks and John said, I don't really like Starbucks and I went in on him about like, oh you're too good for corporate

America. I think if you, whatever you want, you're not a single thing you want to drink at all. That's how we met. But then later he said something like, you know, my favorite band is Evan Essence and I said, that's great. I didn't say like that's stupid. I hate it. That's a dummy, Emo Band. I said, okay, I want to have sex with you later. So I'm going to shut it up.

I'm going to have an acid. I mean, Evan Essence had a minute of death right now. I'm in a way. Yeah, I'm in a way. Sure, but I wanted to have an acid. I'm like Evan Essence. To me, okay, I'm sorry, but I think it raises your sexual attraction. If you're like fuck your interest in

Evan Essence, that band is ass. Like I do feel like if you could be blunt about that. Sometimes you say that and they're the straightest, whitest, male thing. That's the reason I'm so happy. Oh, I wonder what I've been saying. Blood And they're the straightest whiteest male The ego of like I'm gonna be hot no matter what my opinion Guys, I'm like a fucking crazy. I look like a monster With nice hair where you can be like Don't want no one wants this me and micro like look at look at this like right

I'm like an overweight bald guy I don't have the fucking capital. I don't know what you're talking about I don't have the fucking capital to be like I hate your music What do you think of me now because she could be like oh, I think that I could go fuck someone who has hair. I'm sorry I get I get we gonna dress this head on Like you think I'm the confident white guy like you think I'm the confident white guy. Look at you, you're tall. You got like a watch that you know how to wear without it hurting your wrist bone. It's a fucking apple watch, it's not cool.

You know how to dress. You have vintage watch, no I don't. I literally was like almost crying. You were doing music, you were into, you were like a guy. I almost got more of my art. I almost got more of your engineer. I was crying. Yeah, but having to cuff my pants, okay?

I don't know what you're talking about. Yeah, but you cuffed your pants. I could not tell you what that is if you asked. Are your pants cuff? I don't know what that means. You don't know what cuffing is. I know I'm aware of cuffs as a thing. It's rolled up and it's rolled up pants.

That's all it is, you run that. It's not, can I just say, this is on the one hand the most flattering thing I've ever heard. Two guys two guys, you're like, you're so cool. How could you ever understand? And I'm like, this is like some kind of weird nightmare world, where as a person who's always considered themselves like, so damaged. So you are going through what nerd culture is going through that we were talking about you are you are the presentable version of nerd if you and I uh... no i'm not Chris hardwick close enough you're the prices right now

that's not going over you're going to get on ask a hair i would be asked to be thirty okay okay do people invite you to go on television to talk about technology what it wants to know. There you are. Been there you are and there you'll stay. Okay, I don't know. I don't know if you've seen most of us who are interested in technology.

We're not invited on camera a lot to talk about it. We're more people. We're more people. No one's ever been like, hey, we're going to do like the Christmas segment on the hottest toys. I mean, no, maybe this is your negotiation tackle. You're blowing, you could be like, why they put my trucker on stage.

I've got opinions. You're like, come on, Jimmy. Get me out there. They have somebody in house who could talk about that shit, but they go out of house because I'm not camera friendly. Do you know what, the last time I was on camera on my show, I played the body of El Chapo. I'm not camera friendly.

On tonight's show? On the tonight's show? Oh really? That's cool. I was paid for it. I got paid. Yeah, I don't know anything about the rates, but I think being El Chapo's body,

by the way, he's not dead. No, he's not dead. No, they photo, they superimposed his head over. I had to wear a green like a little mouse shoppo here. He's the most appropriate body type. Mine? And you landed. My wait, wait, what happened? Yes. They wanted to do an else shoppo. They was a chapo, right. And they were like, what about mine? They were like, they looked at all the people who'd be willing to do it. All the bodies. And they were like, Mike Drucker's got the right short fat.

That's incredible. Don't say stuff short. Listen, but what we're saying is in this scenario, right out of the group, they would have said, and you all placed on pen. You all played Sean Fatt. Yeah. I would have played Rosio Donald,

who's mad about the L-Chop of situations. Right. Right. He's a situation you're getting. You can have his Rosio Donald. Like, it's the sky that's on the floor. What'Donnell. Like, it's just kind of not. What do you get? Here's the thing is, you can walk up to a woman

and tell her not to smoke. And she remembers it as your charming first memory. Whereas if I was like, I was like, excuse me, excuse me, you're smoking too much. And that's bad for you. She would remember me as the guy she called the cops on. I, this is a biz Universe I kind of say I disagree With both of you. Okay. This is a bizarre. Oh fucking universe where you're like you're the good-looking guy

I'm like what I'm a fucking werewolf had sex with a vampire Dracula Yeah, by the way you're also on trend with the teen by the way you you love all these compliments by the way, you're also on trend with the team. By the way, you you love all these compliments. By the way, you have to You have to I'm gonna disagree. So you keep feeding this. I can't believe you would suggest that I'm an attractive white man. I will say this it I've seen attractive white guys like Tom Cruise We could just take off white and say attractive guys also we don't need to narrow it. I want to narrow it We want to get as much privilege on there as they possibly there also Christians. There are so hard-core Christian

There are no signsologist I forgot I'm so sorry I respect it. I think you're way off, but I will say this and I think we need to wrap after that And there's one bring down to a level where we can, you know, we've been at, we've been, we've had the crackings of jokes, you know, we've been talking about crazy stuff, but I just want to say I want to get down to something serious, you know, Terminator Genesis is so, it's so bad so bad It really is one of the worst films I've ever seen. It's really bad. It's plot is so incoherent And I want us to get real for a second. Okay, you know about race about privilege and just say

They shouldn't make it any more Terminator movies. No, they just shouldn't do it. They don't need them some mistake They don't need them. It's a mistake. They don't need them. It's a bad movie. Mike, Mike, thank you for coming. Thank you for having me. I mean, this, I have no idea what happened here. I really don't. Right.

I can't say, I gotta say, you guys are both intimidating characters. What? You're, you're, you're, uh, I work for you. I fire. I feel threatened by your presence. Mike, especially. Oh, thank you.

I'm glad we're in the same room. I'll take that as a huge compliment. We have a wall of glass between us, but I still feel like you should. It should all happen. I'll tie a three-up. I don't know what's going to happen. But I'm glad to have had this experience

and to have come to understand a different way of thinking about who I am in the world. So thank you. You're welcome. You're welcome for that confidence. And Ryan, of course, is always thank you. You're welcome. Well, that is our podcast for this week. We'll be back next week with more tomorrow and as always I wish you and your family the very best.

Though I understand your family has ventured out to capture some Pokemon and then brutally murdered by a gang of rough ins. Well, that's life, isn't it? you