Toni and Ryan - 3PM VS 3AM

Episode Date: November 2, 2023

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Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Orth, Attorney Lodge. Hello. If you're not in our Patreon, you might not know that we heisted a piece of art. We did. We got under the dark web and heisted. I don't even know what you say when you're a criminal. Yeah. Like, I literally couldn't even tell you. So, one of the people that actually ended up actually getting the art on our behalf. Not one of, the one.

The one. And so we all kind of banded together because we're like, they can't beat all of us. The one who actually got it is Carissa and we're about to call her now. Carissa? I hardly know her. What's the spice that sounds like Carissa? Harissa.

Yeah. Yeah. I always go like, Harissa the Undresser and then realise it doesn't rhyme. It doesn't. No. What's the name? Who's the Undresser? I have no idea what you're talking about.

I don't think it's Fran Drescher. Oh, Carissa. Hello. Oh, sorry. It didn't ring on our end. So, we were just talking about Fran Drescher and other things. Carissa, it's so nice to chat again. To a thief.

To a thief in the night. Maybe we should put like a voice decoder on Carissa. How are you doing? Carissa, we are very well. And just to let you know, the art has landed and it is in our office. Yes. Oh, awesome. So happy about that.

And she's looking good and we think about you every time We say it Yeah, I go off, it wasn't for Carista That's so special Carista That's if she started making coffee That's very funny Thank you

Carista, can I get a flat white and an approval, please? Yes That was so funny flat white and an approval, please. Yes. That is so funny. Hey, this is Carissa from Pennsylvania and I approve this podcast. All right, coming up today, and also apologies, it's not a video show today because we are on the road. On the road again. But coming up today, Jessica Bowden, Bowden, Bowden, Bleeden, Bluden,

she messaged the Tony and Ryan Facebook group. Posted. And said, what's normal at 3 p.m. A bit terrifying at 3 a.m. And some of these answers are quite normal and quite fun at 3 p.m. But I think the thought of them at 3 a.m. May send Tony into another time zone. It's a real. Which is actually 20 minutes from where we are.

No time zone chat. Not allowed. Banned in our house right now. Yep. But very philosophical question. Like, actually, such a great question. Yeah, so thanks, Jessica Bowden. We'll get to that soon.

But first, us millennials are doing something pretty fucking normal. And, again, Gen Zs are calling us out for it, saying, oh, it makes you look old. But fuck you, Gen Z. It's pretty normal. Play the fucking TikTok. I was dancing at the club last night with this girl, and she was like, you know what's giving away your age?

She was like, you keep putting your hands up. And I was like, what? But I would do it, too too I'd be like and she was like stop putting your hands up and I was like fine my mom does that but then every second time and she like put my arms down. I was like, I'm too old to be in this club. Apparently, putting your arms up when you dance is a sign that we're fucking old. And if that makes you old, then fuck young people right off. Also, I don't know why Gen Z are so fucking pressed about their age. Yeah, fuck them.

Stop judging us. We didn't judge people above us. Except boomers, they're all fucking idiots. But apart from that- But, like, imagine- Who said you're the boss of fucking jean size and hand dancing? Ew, don't put your hands up, you'll look old. Who gives a fuck?

Yeah. You get one life, guys. Live it. Yeah. And I've always said that. You can Google that. You have always said that. But, like, who gives a fuck?

And what are they doing? Like, literally, if your hands aren't up, where are they? Are they, like, on your hips? Like, what are you doing? What's the alternative? I think every Gen Z person is the people from around the world, Daft Punk. You remember that classic video clip?

Oh, yeah. Yep. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Thanks for reacting to that, Cam. Better from you next time. No, but like it has to be. I'm actually, I don't even think it's funny because it must be right.

But if you're not doing, what are you actually doing? Like a penguin waddle? Shorty keeping her arms low. Like. River dance. You know that song? I've got my hands up in the air Sometimes No you don't

Sometimes not now No Sometimes it's 2007 That used to be fun And that song came out in like 2011 I think We know who we're talking about Neo or Teo Cruz

It's Teo Cruz What is it again? 3, 2, 1 Teo Cruz What? No I mean sing I've got my hands Oh sorry What? No, I mean sing. Oh. I throw my hands up. Oh, sorry.

I throw my hands up in the air sometimes. Singing, hey, oh, baby, let's go. Well, he's not there. Baby's not going nowhere now. I just, if you're not doing this, what are you doing? If your hands ain't in the air, then you obviously care. Yeah. Because if your hands are in the air like you just don't care is that s club seven i think it's a few songs reference that i have that lyric and also i've just noticed that in the episode of us being

like fuck young people we have never sounded older i just what's that song that says with the hands and you're not caring about the fun things i don't really care about sounding old no i'll be honest i don't i don't really care i'm actually turning 30 in what two weeks and i am so excited about it yeah and you should be like i'm really i'm really excited it feels like a new part of my life i'm like really jazzed but like the kids that are saying you've got to wear wide jeans, you can't fucking tuck your shirt in anymore, and your arms have to be down, I mean, that just sounds like prison. A prison camp.

Like, that sounds awful. That's not free speech. That's not freedom. That's not what our founding fathers fought for. Oh, my God, have you become Americans since we've been here? There's too many Fs in that sentence. But, like, aren't Gen Z supposed to be, like, cool, father's fort. Oh, my God. Have you become American since you've been here? There's too many Fs in that sentence. But, like, isn't, aren't Gen Z supposed to be, like, cool, laid back, like, all good, uh, uh, uh, nothing bothers me, uh, uh, uh, uh.

So, like. But, like, then fucking pull your hands up, like, you don't give a fucking shut up about it. So, straight guys can suck a couple of dicks, who cares, right? Great. But you can't put your hands up in a dance club. Like, pick what things you get funny about. Like, if we're all open and- Yeah, I'm straight.

I just like a couple of dicks. Yeah, cool, man. Our generation does whatever the fuck we want. Oh, cool. I put my hands up. Well, don't fucking do that, though. Yeah, like, oh, fucking- You can't win.

You actually can't win. I don't know what the problem is. So, um- I know. And even just, like, when you watch the videos that are like, ew, I saw someone wearing skinny jeans jeans and they do the hair tuck thing I fucking hate that But like so

Fuck off Are we judging people for what they wear now? Yeah Like is that what we're doing? This non-judgmental generation seems to be judging a lot of stuff Yeah like it's supposed to be like so easy breezy beautiful cover girl But I'm like hang on so I'm a piece of shit because my pants aren't loose. Fuck you.

So my butt looks better in tighter pants. Yeah. I'm not going to apologize for that. Yeah, I've short little stumpy legs. If I put them in a wide thing, they look even stumpier. Right. Sorry that I like to put my arms up while I'm dancing because it's fun. I like to have fun.

Singing A-O-A-O. Yes. Have fun. Singing A-O-A-O. Yes. And I just don't understand. Like, why would you be so upset that someone thought you were old? Like, that's the true sadness in this whole thing.

Do you know what I mean, Taylor? Or I was in the club with someone and they kept telling me to put my arms down because I look old. Like, fucking. I'll tell you what's really sad. Getting old's a privilege. Yes. Tell me. One thing I'm a little bit jealous of is this guy who's getting old but is still in a club because the thought of going to a club now seems like

the worst thing I've ever heard of in my entire life. Why are you jealous then? Don't be jealous. So the other day I'm hanging out with Marcus and little Billy, their daughter. Andy and Poppy, their little daughter. Yep. And I don't know if I told you, Anders, they had a baby. Did they? Freya.

Yeah. Welcome to the world, little Freya. About two weeks before we left. Welcome to the world. Healthy little bub. So, we're hanging out, us dads. And like the four of us, like back in the day, you know, we've had some times. Get loose.

We've had some times. Yeah. We've seen some shit. we've had some times. Get loose. We've had some times. Yeah. We've seen some shit. We've done some shit. We've ended up in some weird place. Yeah. You were putting your hands up. Our hands were up.

Yeah. Couldn't keep them down. Yeah. They were so far up they were at the bottom of your feet. We're sitting around having a conversation about which pharmacies in Brunswick have the best customer service. He goes, oh, no, the guy on Ligon Street, no, he's pretty good. And then there's that lady who works at the one on Albert Road

and she's pretty good. And they've usually got the armour for us. So, like, it's behind the counter, but it just sits there. So, they don't ask you any questions. And we're having this, like, in-depth conversation about the customer service of pharmacies. And I just went, guys guys when did this happen you have talked to me about the pharmacist on burnley street before oh he's one of the greats and that's what i said to him i was like guys i know it's tough to get from

brunswick over to richmond but if you got the service it's worth it the fucking service yeah no he is good he's real good but i don't your priorities just change like i so tobs is that sad though no like it's genuine like we i had to i had to get another round of drinks and we'll still talking about the pharmacies but i think like because you want to go out if you wanted to go out at 20 30 60 90 go and fucking do it not with your arms up no no but like if you want to still go but if you don't that's like your choice yeah so at our house my body my choice at our house over the past few months obviously a lot of house chat a lot of like furniture chart what we're going to do in the new house what we want each room to be yep and i said to torps my partner we've been together for 10 years doing it for 11 i've probably no no together for

fuck fuck together for nine doing it for 10 but i've known him for probably 12 yeah and we have been through all of those phases together we went through the like um going to the pub after uni we went clubbing we went dancing then we kind of like slowed down a bit. We both kind of got like full-time jobs and stuff like that. We've been through all the ebbs and flows of like partying, quieting down, partying again, partying with more money. Yep. Stopping partying again. You know, every single period of your life like that, we've done together. And I said to him, we're building this amazing life together, which I absolutely love and

wouldn't change for anything. Yep. And we're talking about this house and I was like, I'm never going to want to leave. It's going to be so great. We're never going to leave the house. You actually will never leave the house. We have discussed this. And Torbs was like, but isn't that great?

Like you love something, like you have created this thing that you love so much that you love spending time there. Like you and your wife, Bridget, you love spending time at your house because you've like curated all this stuff that you love looking at, sitting on, being around. And finding all these places where I can hide a fucking paperclip. Exactly. But, you know, like is that just a great new part of your life?

It is. That you have this home that you love so much that you like want to have people over because you go, oh, I really want you to enjoy our new couch or whatever come around our place guys and i'll let you have your hands up no questions asked i have been raising my hands at home you've got it and i'm putting them up i hate to be like someone get me from the pool um but also a drink please oh well i like like mabel loves like when i hold her like the Lion King. And now what I like to do- And she just loves dancing as well. Yeah.

But what my new thing is, is, like, I'll stand, like, at the end of the bed, like, hold her in the Arts of Kenya Parmigiana pose, like the Lion King, and then fall back onto the bed with her above me. And then she'll, like, land on my chest and she's like- Like, loves it sick. That's my new thing with my hands in the air. And I do care about her very much. Good.

That's my speech. I don't have anything funny to say. I'm just so excited about my house and your baby and keep my fucking arms up. Thank you. I do love my baby as well. I'm on your side. She's going to be. Mabel is going to be joining us in Los Angeles.

Very exciting. And you might have missed it because I did a live stream before we left. We have matching swimsuits. I have seen the matching swimsuits at your house. Yep. Very exciting stuff. Yep. Very exciting.

All right, up next. What can you say at 3 p.m., which is totally fine, but kind of fucked at 3 a.m.? That's next. Hey, it's Carissa from Pennsylvania, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tarpers over at our Patreon. Champion tarpers, Tony and Ryan podcast.

Richard Keane. Yeah, he is. Yeah, he's fucking real revved up. Ramona Henderson Fry. Good on you, Ramona. Thank you. Would you say you're Richard Keane? Yes.

She's been away for a few weeks. She's Keane for the dirt. Ramona Henderson Fry. Good on you, Ramona. Melissa, Jessica Milcaj. She's Ramonan for the... I'll be Ramonan. For the Richard Keane. Sorry, I was born.

Hi, Melissa. Good job. Thank you. Jessica Milcaj, thank you. And Cody Michael. Cody Michael, yeah. So,. Thank you. Jessica Milcage, thank you. And Cody Michael. Cody Michael, yeah. So, shout out to Huda. It's Cody Simpson, but that's okay.

Thank you to Jessica Bowden. Good on you, Jess. What's normal at 3 p.m. but terrifying at 3 a.m.? Jennifer says, when the dog just starts barking. To be honest, not great at 3 p.m. either because you go, shut the fuck up. But when Pippa, does she like bark for no reason? No. So, if she's barking, it's because there's something, right?

She also doesn't really bark. She'll go, huh. Yeah, but she's huffing at something, you go, fuck, what's out there? Yeah. I'll just go, peep, you okay? She'll, like, huh, huh. And she also, her hackles go up, you know, like, on a dog's back, how they, like, got all their hair, like, spikes up and stuff.

Yeah. And if it's happened in the middle of the night, it's normally because she's having, like, a little nightmare. Oh. Is that sort of cute, though? Yeah. Yeah. And then I go, oh, are you okay?

She goes, hoof, hoof. I'm like, you don't have to hoof at us. You're all right. Does she wake herself up or she'll just lay there? No. Because sometimes BJ will lay there dreaming and he's like chasing a rabbit in his dream or he's like- And they're like twitching.

But he's like twitching and he's like legs are running and he's like- That's quite sweet. And then he wakes up and looks at me and he's like really embarrassed. Normally, I always say thank you to Pippa Though I never just tell her to shut up I'm like thank you for letting us know but we're okay Because I don't want her to think that barking's bad Because if something was happening

You want them to bark don't you You don't want them to not Absolutely Oh no mum doesn't like that In you come robbers take whatever you like Liz said watching a true crime show there's something about watching true crime at night we're at home by yourself that just freaked me the fuck out i agree oh this one's creepy this is from annie the sound of children playing and laughing all times no Yeah, I guess normal because, like, yeah, coming home from school, all good.

But 3 a.m., you go, oh, ghost. Ghost. Definitely. This place is haunted. Surely something good at 3 p.m. but terrible at 3 a.m. The fucking phone ringing. Yeah. I'd say the phone ringing at any time is annoying.

No, but 3 p.m., you go, oh, someone just wants to chat or whatever. 3 a.m., you go, oh. Who's died? Car accident. Yeah. Yeah, like instantly. Yeah. Like, instantly. Now, this one I don't agree with at all because of reasons we've just talked about on the podcast recently.

Oh. Elena says someone tapping you on the shoulder. Oh. See what I'm saying? Because she's like, oh, someone taps you on the shoulder in the day. All good. But at night, like, how creepy? I'm like, yeah, but maybe it's not creepy.

Yeah. What if it's for... Depending on what side of the bed you sleep on and where the tap comes from if you sleep on the right but the tap comes from the right then you go what the fuck who's that and you go why isn't the dog hoofing this one sends shivers down my spine oh chris says hearing the music of an ice cream truck oh that's so creepy. Do you know the tune? No.

I think we already knew the answer to that, but thanks for asking. Quite clear. You're going... And you're, like, bobbing up and down like you're on America around as well, like this. One time when I was in WA in Bunbury. Oh, shut up. The content director said, wouldn't it be a great idea? Do you know how we used to go on tours? Yep.

So, we traveled all over the small towns in Western Australia and do like a show each day. And usually there's like a theme or a reason or a story to tie it all together. And she pitched this idea that was like, what if we took like the world's worst like carnival around town so i just had like one shit ride because it's like it's a bit of a joke that's like the shit is carnival but like yeah but i get that it's shit but it's like real shit yeah i think they did that on american horror story yeah okay right right yeah and how did it go did it look like a fun radio show no no it didn't it didn't. Good to know. Monique said, the sound of someone starting a chainsaw. That's a great one.

That's a very good one. Kelsey said, a notification from my Microsoft Teams. Oh, again, not great at any time of the day. But yeah, 3 a.m. you go, fuck, something's fallen over overnight and I need to deal with it. Jacques said, and now this might be important for you moving into a new house, thinking about where you want to put stuff. Oh. Mirrors.

I.e. if there's a full length mirror that you have to like walk past in the middle of the night to get to the bathroom. Oh. Because then there's like shadows and you're like, fuck, is that someone? No, that's me or whatever. Like mirrors. Mirrors in the middle of the night in the wrong place. I've never thought about that before. Yeah. And be careful where you like put them in your bedroom because like the night in the wrong place. I've never thought about that before.

Yeah. And be careful where you like put them in your bedroom because like they're facing the wrong way. You don't want to like, you know, get a face for someone's arsehole. What? Who's arsehole? Well, the guy that's on top of you probably. But you know, the mirror's facing the wrong way and you go,

oh, when I put the mirror in the corner there, I didn't realise it would shoot back. Don't say shoot back. Fucking hell. I got to love to see it here. Do you know we have people listen to this podcast in the Philippines? Wow. Crazy, right? That is insane. Richard listens to the Tony and I on podcast in Manila and on the way to work... Oh, I saw this. He goes, it's pretty hot here in the Philippines,

so being a bit sweaty is normal. What is not normal is the sweat on my back looking like a massive wang. Yeah, it looks like a big cock. Yeah, the mirrors need to be facing the right way in your house. That's for sure. My colleagues were pissing themselves laughing and whilst I was embarrassed, I thought Tony and Ryan would really fucking love to see this,

so enjoy the pic. Thanks, dick. Really appreciate it. I do love to see that. That's very funny. The sweat is like so unfortunate. Poor guy. Thank you for sharing that with us, though.

That's awesome. We'll put the photo in today's episode thread so you can see it. Yep. My love to see is from Olivia Rose. My fiance and I got engaged in April. Congratulations. We're currently in the midst of wedding planning and been on the hunt for a celebrant. We've had a few people recommend one to us and we've booked a meet and greet in with someone and end up booking them for the ceremony.

Olivia says, we're really stressed that we don't know whether we made the right choice. Like just because you go, oh, they're such a big part of the day, you want to make sure they're the right person. After the meet and greet, we were listening to the podcast and Ryan shares the celebrant who performed the ceremony at his cousin's wedding. And my wedding. And your wedding. Hang on.

She's getting there. Sorry, sorry, sorry. And cousin's wedding. And my wedding. And your wedding. Hang on. She's getting there. Sorry, sorry, sorry. And Ryan's wedding. Yep. Who was all about the couple, super entertaining, great at speaking. And you shared her name. And it's the same person that Olivia already booked. Nat.

You did this last time as well. Megan. Fuck. Megan Thompson. Who's Nat? Why do I keep saying Nat? I don't know. Megan Thompson.

Megan Thompson. The same lady that they've booked in. You fucking love to see see it so not only is that a great you love to see it and also like a cute little like share that they share that with your day that's kind of nice coincidence chat you love to say that that's great i don't know if it's coincidence or it's more like i need a fucking code to get a kickback oh well she'd already booked so it was a bit too late oh yeah they'd already booked it and they were like, oh, have we met the right person? And then you were like, oh, this woman's great.

And she was like, oh, that's who we booked. You actually have met the right person. While I might be not great at remembering Meg's name, I am great at remembering my wedding day and she is a fucking gun. And I think, like you were saying, they are a big part of the day. Yeah. What I like about Meg is that she knows that she doesn't have to be a big part of the day, that she can let the bride shine, make the day about the couple and not about her.

The last thing you want is some comedian, like, doing a type five. Yeah. Being like, I want everyone to remember how great an MC I was. Yeah. And also that they step out of the way when you do your, like, kiss and photos and stuff because there's so many, like, oh, you may now kiss the bride and then the photo is them kissing and she's just in the background like this. Hey, Meg.

Thanks for the thumbs up. Or she's doing, like, little peace sign rabbit ears behind you. Yeah. Like. What up? Shockers, bro. Like, it's just so weird. Yeah.

But anyway, Liv. Love to see you. Congratulations on the engagement. I thought she was going to say she was unsure about the celebrant, so she recruited Tony Lodge. Who? How's the study going, mate? Anyway, we're in New York this weekend.

Yep. Sunday morning. Was it 10 a.m. or 11? 10. 10 a.m. See? At? Union Park?

Union Square Park. No, we changed. We changed. Bryant Square. Bryant Park. There you go. Great. Bryant Park.

It was Union Square. We can't wait to meet everybody. Please no GIFs. Oh, my God. Someone goes, oh, because the New York Marathon's on on Sunday. After we've done the meet and greet, I'm going to go and see people finish and stuff. Yeah. Someone goes, oh, you're in town.

Are you and Tony doing the marathon? They obviously don't listen to the podcast. We had a fucking emotional breakdown about walking half a marathon. Do you think the alternative was running a full one? Yeah. I just don't think I can do the walk after the marathon. But we'll see you on Sunday in Bryant Park. Maybe ask Cam.

10am. We'll see you there. Love you. Bye.