Toni and Ryan - 4 Star Review

Episode Date: July 20, 2022

A 4 star pizza delivery experience. PS the pizza place we mentioned is called Shawcross Pizza Joint hehehehe love ya!! Toni x Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors, like when our estrogen levels drop during menopause, causing the risk of heart disease to go up. Know your risks. Visit heartandstroke.ca. Hello? Hello. Now, I think the biggest difference between Australia and the US is in Australia we say Megan, but who are we speaking to? Megan.

Megan. Yeah. I'm glad you didn't back one in because I was going to ask the exact same question. All right. Well, it's Tony and Rian here. Hey, by the way, will you approve this podcast episode? I would love nothing more than to approve your podcast. Yay!

This is Megan from Nebraska, and I approve this podcast. Yeah. from Nebraska and I approve this podcast. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. I'm the vice captain of the ship, the muscles who carries this show, Tony Lodge. Hello. Thanks for having me. Um, there's two types.

I mean, you couldn't do it without me. No, it would just be Anne Ryan. That's my joke. It's just facts. That is my joke, though. How would you like me to Are you okay, man? Are you in a bad mood? I know I was in a bad mood last week. I've got shingles and I'm a bit tired. Yeah, you actually you poor thing. Are you feeling okay?

Yeah, as long as you're alright. Don't do that. No, I'm not. No, I'm actually great. Yeah, no, no, I'm great. I haven't done something to fuck you off? No, not yet. Look, there's two types of people in this world, let's be honest. Yeah, good looking and not.

You're looking at them. Which is which? That is? Up for? Decision time. There's two types of people in this world. Yep. Those who leave reviews and those who do not.

Now, we've discussed this before, Toni. You claim to be a reviewer. Yep. Are you standing by that? But then people came out of the woodwork and said, oh, I'll review everything. I don't review everything. You went on to say you've reviewed three things in your whole life.

Yeah, I'm not a mad keen reviewer. Did you go back and listen to the tape and see when this happened? No, because I was thinking because I've got a great review here and it got me thinking about you being a reviewer and trying to claim it. Oh, yeah, us reviewers. Well, I, do you know. Who's got the time?

Maybe it doesn't count. Do you know what I'll always do? I'll always do a rating. Oh, yeah. Like I. Well, I, do you know. Who's got the time? Maybe it doesn't count. Do you know what I'll always do? I'll always do a rating. Oh, yeah. Like I'll always do out of five. When you get Uber Eats and they go, how was the delivery? And I go, he rocked up to the door and just gave it to me. How hard can it be?

Yeah, so not how hard can it be, but like how easy is it to fuck it up? Yeah. The difference between a great delivery and a bad is, I mean, it's a pretty slim area there. Yeah, exactly. A bloke called Nick. Hi, Nick. Has given Domino's a four-star review of both the pizza

and the pizza delivery. But why wasn't it a five-star? Why did he only give four? I don't think I've ever had a Domino's that wasn't a five. I know. They're a five-based industry. Yeah, a five-based industry. This is what Nick says.

A review on his local, like Domino's, his small town's Domino's Facebook page. Okay. Delivery time stated 45 to 60 minutes, but it turned up after 25 minutes, which is a bit inconvenient because at the time I was balls deep in my wife. which is a bit inconvenient because at the time I was balls deep in my wife. He's written that on the public local Domino's Facebook. From his account or was it a burner account? From his account.

Pizza was great. Sorry, but the phrase balls deep in my wife, like that term, wow, it's graphic, isn't it? Well. Can you imagine if I called you, you're like, oh, mate, I'm balls deep in my wife right now. Let me call you back later. Don't answer. Yeah.

There is actually just I feel like there's no need to ever use that expression. Like just don't tell me. What would you say if I messaged you and you didn't message back for a while and you go, oh, sorry, I didn't message back early. Because you wouldn't say balls deep because it's such a graphic. I wouldn't, I don't think. I'd probably, I've said this before, I think I'd just be like,

oh, sorry, Torbs and I were doing it. Yeah, all good for tomorrow at nine. That's probably what I would say. Tell us what you don't need to say. Or I would just say nothing. But it's you, so of course I would say that to you. You've come in bragging a few times. You wouldn't tell me, though.

No. No. But you're a bragger. Why don't you tell me? Do you want to know? It's not like I want to know, but I want to know why you wouldn't tell me. I don't want to know, but tell me! No, no know, but I want to know why you wouldn't tell me. I don't want to know, but tell me!

No, no, no, but like why wouldn't you tell me? Why is that weird? Is it something that you'd want to know? For me it's like I don't know. Like for instance, when we read this guy's review, we both go a simple four stars would have sufficed. No, but that's for a fucking business. I'm talking like you and I.

It's more about I didn't know if you'd want to know. Do you not want to know? So in future if I was like, oh, sorry, Torbs and I were doing it, you don't want me to say that? No, I like to keep tabs. But so then how do you think I feel? I want to know as well. Sorry, okay.

I'll put you into the Google calendar and I'll link you to Bridget and I's one so when it's scheduled in. When it's syncing up. Yeah, great. That'll be good actually. I need a bit of notice. What I do like about Nick though who's left this review and we've talked about after you've done it,

are you a sleeper or a snacker? Yep. I love that he's gone, oh, me and my partner, once we've done it, we get a little bit peckish and a bit hungry. Why don't I order the pizza first? So just as I'm about to finish up and we've both had a great time. That's on the way.

Knock at the door, oh, honey, the pizza's turned up. I kind of respect the pre-planning of it all. What do you think? You kind of like this, don't you? We've done that before. So it was actually one day after you and I had recorded the podcast. I think I got home around 5 or 5.30 or something, and I was like, look, I'm hungry now.

I want dinner. I'm like I'm going to want dinner. And Pam, we know you're hungry, girl, and thirsty. And I was like, oh, and, you know, I'd love to do it with my handsome boyfriend. So I got home and I said, I'm ordering pizza, then we're going to go and fuck. me handsome boyfriend. Yep. So I got home and I said, I'm ordering pizza, then we're going to go and fuck. I've never been so attracted to anything in my life

than when you just said that line. Yeah. I was like, I'm going to order this right now and I'm going to meet you in there in five minutes. How long did the, run me through the – Oh, and then because you know how like on a Saturday night every Uber Eats takes a fucking year, and the pizza place we really like, the order time is like always

like 70 minutes. Fuck for a pizza. Yeah. Yeah, shit, okay. You know, it just takes a long time. That one on Brunswick Street? Yes, it is the one on Brunswick Street. What's that called again?

I don't know. It's awesome. It's on the corner. It's so good. We'll figure it out. It's in the show notes. Anyway, and yeah. And so what, you finished up, then you're like, cool,

what are we going to do for the next 45 minutes? Literally, yeah. Maybe I'll have a bath before the dinner. No. But yeah, and we were like, cool, we don't have to rush, but we know that dinner, because otherwise you're like, you fuck around for ages, right? Yeah.

And then you're like, now we have to order dinner and it's going to take 70 minutes. I appreciate the forethought. I think it's genius. And I think when, hey, we're comfortable, we know our routine, we know our timeline, let's get it done. I'm all about this. And because waiting for food to come, that's dead time.

It is dead time. You can't do anything else. Yeah, I know. So might as well make most of it. Waiting for someone to come just really drives me crazy in these situations. Yeah, don't worry about it. Anyway, sorry, Nick's balls deep in his wife.

So the pizza guy rocks up. Yeah. What do you do? Like someone knocks on the door. Like you can't just say. Leave it at the door. No one's home, leave me alone. Or just pretend like you can't.

Like if it's someone selling something, you know, you just like pretend that you can't hear them or whatever. Or if it's room service at a hotel, you know, like whatever. So I've told you this story, haven't I? Not on the podcast. Not on the podcast. It was actually while we were staying in a hotel together last week. Separate rooms.

Separate rooms. When I was 18, I feel like we were talking earlier in the week about like hospitality working as a waiter waitress. My kind of like just out of high school need cash while I'm studying job was working at a hotel. Yeah, and we've talked about this before about like the kind of crazy things that happen there. And I always used to work the night shift because you got paid a bit more

and I've had class during the day and stuff. But I've seen some shit, all right? The first one was a Victoria Hotel in the middle of the city. Yep. And then the other one was the Formula One Hotel, also in the middle of the city. What's the other one? Well, it's not Formula One because of the trademarks.

It was like Formula One. Oh. Yeah, but it's like the thing was like it's the cheapest one in the city. Oh, okay. And you can imagine the cheaper means. People kind of just stumbling in and going, fuck, I really need a room. It's the only one I could afford, okay. And you can imagine the cheaper means. People kind of just stumbling in and going, fuck, I really need a room. It's the only one I could afford, yeah. One time at the front desk I get a phone call and someone goes,

I think there's a dog in the next room. You know all that dogs in those hotels? I was like, no. Yeah, it's like squeaky. So I go up there and I knocked on the door and it wasn't a dog. It was someone bound and was... And to be fair, it did sound like a dog. Yeah, and we're not talking about someone that was bound

because they'd been kidnapped. Nope. They were muzzled. Consensual bounding. Yep. Okay. Anyway. So one time I'm working with this guy.

You know, when you work at the hotel, you share some stories. Of course. And he said one time this person ordered pizza and it was my job to go and deliver it to the room. And when you do room service, especially like, you know, the size of a pizza, you don't just kind of give it to them at the door. You kind of bring it in and like put it on the table and lift it. You know, the fancy.

The cloche. I didn't even know that was a word. How fucking cool is that? Yeah. It's a very satisfying laugh. You remove the cloche and reveal the food and everyone goes, oh. Yeah, like a master chef. Yeah.

And this was at a nice hotel where they would, you know, go to the lengths to do a bit of presentation. So he gets up to the room and goes to knock on the door, but then he notices that the door's ajar. Why isn't it a door? What? If the door's ajar. Oh.

Yeah. Yeah. Muscles over here. Okay. So he pushes the door open. The jar? Or the door? There's no jar.

You just said the door's ajar. So if the door's ajar. Mentioning that once was already three times too many. Yeah, well, sorry. So he pushes the door open and this guy is doing this girl from behind. Oh. And she is face down, like not just like body down, like face down in the mattress.

And he's just. And apparently the guy who's doing it doesn't skip a beat just goes oh i got the pizza yeah yeah just come put it over here and so he walks in and the guy still doesn't miss a single stroke and the guy places the pizza down he's like oh and he like because he's like am i allowed to look? Do I look away? Do I just pretend it's not happening? What do I do? So he's just like, oh, here you go, sir.

If you need anything else, let me know. And he goes, thanks, bud. You have a great day. And then he's like. He's still pumping away. Still pumping. And he goes, I don't reckon the girl even. Knows.

Like she was in a great place. Like just having a great time and was just so consumed literally and mentally. Fuck. And he just dropped it off and walked out. Now, Tony, are you okay over there? Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just listening to your story.

You're a little bit hot under the collar. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. I mean, it is quite a good outcome, isn't it? Don't say outcome. But it's a good result. For all three of them. Yeah. He got to deliver the pizza

and didn't disturb anyone. Yeah. The guy didn't have to skip a beat. Yeah. And she just fucking having a while of a time. And then she finishes up and there's pizza for her to eat. Once she's finished, I can't finish that one. Should I say?

Once she's finished coughing a pepperoni, she gets straight into a pepperoni. I'm sorry. That was worse than the jar thing. Wow. Anyway, so Nick's balls deep in his wife Do we know the outcome? What did he end up doing?

Answered the door, I guess Because they got the pizza He answered the door, got the pizza Put it on the table Went and finished up And then had a slightly cold pizza after And because of that Not a five star experience

Just a four star Just a four This is Megan from Nebraska And you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive thank you to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. We're slowly making through the names from May still, because there were so many people that signed up for a Frank Green water bottle. Yep.

If you are waiting on an update of the Frank Green water bottle, we're almost ready to... It's now on Patreon, there's an update. But actually, I'll tell you, we've finished producing the bottles. The bottles have been produced. So we actually cleaned Frank Green out of bottles. They had to, like, make more. There's some specific yet-to-be-released artwork that you'll see

as part of the bottle. It's also got the Frank Green stuff on there. So now once the bottles are done, there's some, like, packaging because they're in a really cute little box and stuff and then the little, like, little something from us. Yes. And now we are transporting them to the warehouses. So we've got an Australian one, one in Texas and one in Poland.

So Poland takes care of like all of Africa, Europe and the UK. Texas takes care of all the Americas and Australia is like Asia, New Zealand, everywhere else in between. So once they get to there, then everyone gets their bottle shipped out. But there will be a bit of a delay because shipping obviously takes a hot minute. Ryan's dealing with that at the moment. He's doing an amazing job.

Thank you for saying that because I am quite stressed and I am quite aware that, like, it's a fucking drink bottle, mate. Yeah, this has given Ryan shingles. Do you reckon it actually has, though? Yes. Isn't that how you get shingles? You're, like, run down and really stressed. I Googled how to get shingles and it goes,

are you trying to ship bottles internationally? Yeah. And I'm like, oh, this is a direct correlation. So just so everybody knows. Watch this space. The bottles are fucking coming and I promise that we aren't holding out on you. There just hasn't been any information to share yet, but there is an update now and you're going to fucking love to see that.

But in the meantime. Oh, sorry. Can I just add an apology to Nick because he actually ordered his Frank Green water bottle, then started getting balls deep in his wife and was planning to get... He was hoping he could have some water after. Yeah, the timing's all off. Four-star water bottle.

Keeps your drink cold, but at what cost? Thank you so much to Selena, Chelsea, Samantha, Pamela Hippolito, Maria Carroll, Megatron Smith, Meowfack Water, Christy Shower, Derek, SJ, Kenneth Room and Big Meow or Katarina. Thank you. Which is quite cute. So thank you, everybody. And also last week, very quickly,

we announced that we are teaming up with the legends at Spotify. Yep. And so from August 8th, Tony and Ryan, you can listen for free exclusively on Spotify only. Yeah. And obviously people have sent through a few questions. We answered some last week. If you do have any questions,

please pop them in the Facebook group or message us separately. We will do our best to answer, but you'll be able to find us there. So you've got a couple of... Can't say that clearly enough. Yeah. Free. So make sure that you get amongst the Spotify app if you haven't already. All right.

So every week we watch a movie as voted for by you. This week's theme was movies with scenes after the credits. Yeah. And the winner in what was genuinely the closest race, usually it's a runaway winner, but Toy Story 2 with Spice World. So there was Toy Story 2, Spice World, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, 22 Jump Street and Scary Movie were the options.

And yeah, it was actually the closest we've had. Toy Story 2 and Spice World were like a percentage apart. And I actually had to call it in the comments. I was like, I need to write the fucking rap. So I'm calling it now that Toy Story's the winner. So how long since you've watched a Toy Story? Oh, a while.

Same. And it's so fucking good though. It's so good. Yeah. You know the scene where the old guy comes and like cleans him up and like stitches his arm up and like repaints his boots and stuff? If that is not the most satisfying thing, like him cleaning the eyes. The old specialist.

Yeah. Did you realise that the guy who stole him originally is Newman from Seinfeld? I haven't watched Seinfeld, so I don't know. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

No, I know. It sounded like. Yeah, I'm dumb. No, I know. It sounded like you just said. I know, and I know that you love Seinfeld because every time you tell me that you've seen him live, which is, like, so phenomenal, I'm like. Sorry, it sounded like you just said you hadn't seen. I've literally never. I couldn't actually tell you any of their names. Guess what the main character's name is.

But, like, whenever people are like, oh, you know how, like, that guy always bangs on the door or whatever. Like, I literally, like, I don't know. Fuck, that says so much about you. That makes so much sense. That makes a lot of sense. Fuck off, it makes sense. What does that even mean?

And the fact that Torbs is an old Spice guy, I'm learning more about you. What? Like, it's, yeah, I'm learning. What is that? What does that mean? Anyway, so the guy was Newman, was that guy. Also, how much did you not, so I hadn't seen Tori's Story 2 before.

What? No, like in a long time that I'd forgotten that Stinky Pete. Yeah, Kelsey Grammar. And turns out to be the bad guy. Oh, yeah. Spoiler alert. Spoiler alert. When I. Spoiler alert.

It came out in 1999. But like, because he's like a lovely old guy. Yeah. And then you go, hang on, there's a fucking rat here somewhere. Who is it? And you think it's the girl. No. I mean.

Stinky pig. And when that happened, I literally. He has come out of the box. He's come out of the box. I audibly gasped when it was revealed that Stinky and I was like, of course. And, I mean, appropriately named, you are a Stinky Pete. Yeah.

You really are a Stinky Pete. Well, I mean, another spoiler alert, he gets what's coming to him. He does. You know tour guide Barbie? Yeah. She also, the woman who voices her is Ariel from The Little Mermaid. Really? Yeah.

I was looking because obviously you know how I'm an IMDB person. Oh, okay. Mom's day. Like during the movie I'll be like, oh, I recognise that voice. Yeah. It's Ariel from The Little Mermaid, which I thought was so cute. We were saying, have they updated the graphics? Because considering it's 23 years old, it looks incredible still.

Yeah, it does. I think they must have done like a remastering for like widescreens and stuff because, yeah, like I was watching it, I was expecting it to look like a little bit crook maybe but it actually looks really good. Like I'm a big fan of Toy Story. Who isn't? And recently, I don't know what it is called or what it is,

And recently, I don't know what it is called or what it is, but so Torbz has like a PlayStation Network like membership. Right. So like each month he gets like one game for free and you can like, it's like a subscription thing, but I don't really know what it does, but it's only just paid dividends for me because they've remastered and re-released all of these old games. So you can like you're Woody and you're playing a game. So one of my very favourite games is a Toy Story 2 game

and you're playing Buzz and you're like running around trying to find stuff and whatever. Oh, cool. Yeah, they've just re-released that. So I was playing that the other way. It was like a Sunday morning and I was like, oh, I've just like got this game. It was so fucking cool.

That is fun. Yeah, but those games look crook-ass. Yeah, right. Yeah, they're like square face and stuff. Yeah, it's not great. So what are we rapping about this week? So rapping about the happenings of Toy Story 2. Are we ready for this?

Yeah. All right, ladies and gentlemen, MC Tony Lodge, who is now ready to rap. Toy Story 2 was the movie this week. Woody just wants to fuck little boy Pete. Ladies and gentlemen, MC Tony Lodge, who is now ready to rap. Toy Story 2 was the movie this week. Woody just wants to fuck little boy Pete. Woody gets stolen by Big Al. Buzz follows the car.

It gets too far. Jessie wants Woody to take the punt. Turns out Sticky Pete's a massive. They've got to get home before Andy dies. The day is saved by Woody and Buzz. Oh, you do! What a great rap. Thank you. What a great movie. You've nailed that.

Thank you. And thank you for self-censoring. I thought that was quite funny. That was incredible because I was like, hang on a second. She's going to say it and I didn't. I've just, we've just shared our thoughts on Stinky Pete. Yes. And you know what?

Yep. You weren't wrong with what you were getting at there. Turns out he is a massive. All right, what have you loved to see in this week, Toni? So my love to see it is a message that we got from Matt Allen. Anybody that's on the podcast, on the Patreon. You mean Rick Name? Sorry, Rick Name. Anyone on the podcast, on the Patreon. You mean Rick Name? Sorry, Rick Name.

Anyone on the Patreon, we did a bonus episode where there was a little bit of beef between a couple of tapas. Yep. Rick Name was being Rick rolled by the little woot, and they had a few problems together. There was beef. There was beef. We had to get HR involved.

It was a whole thing. But Matt actually messaged me and said, I have a you love to see it. I stream on Twitch and give the little Woot secret tasks throughout the stream because he goes back and rewatches them because of their time differences. So they're actually really good friends. I've given him

a couple of tasks that involve him sending me money via PayPal. You know when you're watching a stream and it's like, oh, if you like that, like, flick $2 to my PayPal, this is my username, whatever? It's like a thing. It's a thing. It's like tipping while you watch kind of thing.

I immediately tell him not to actually do it. So what he does instead is donates the money to feed hungry children. So there's like a charity because the Little Woot's in Netherlands, so I'm guessing that there's, you know, like a charity because the Little Woot's in Netherlands. So I'm guessing that there's you know, like a charity for hungry kids. And so far has donated

$105 US dollars worth and then forges the receipts to make it look like he sent them to me and it's like a whole gag. But he's donated $105 to hungry children as like a joke almost. Like the two of them are having funry Children as, like, a joke almost. Like, the two of them are having fun together and he's like, oh, send me the money,

but he actually donates it instead. If only our jokes resulted in something nice. Yeah, they don't. We do nothing for the community. Little Woot, though, what a guy. And because Little Woot can go either way, he can have a sharp tongue in the comments. He can.

But it turns out he's actually got a heart of gold and I'm sure that the Little Woot would actually hate that we've just sold him out. We've ruined his branding. Yeah. He's worked so hard to come across as an arsehole. I know. But I thought that was so sweet. And it's so lovely seeing the bloody community making friends.

Love it. That is sweet. What a legend. A girl was left... This is interesting after we talked about Nick with the pizza. Oh. A girl was left a note on her after we talked about Nick with the pizza. Oh. A girl was left a note on her apartment building. Yeah.

On the door. And it said, if you're going to have what sounds like animal sex in the middle of the day, can you please close your windows and back door so the whole suburb. Sorry, I thought you meant back door. Well, choice of words there. Can you please close the back door so the whole suburb can't hear you? So she's in her apartment complex just having, like... Time of her life.

..great afternoon during the week. I mean, working from home or... Working from home, you know what I'm saying? Now, Tony, is this a compliment, sort of, or would you be horrified? I'd be really embarrassed. Yeah. I also just think that if it's happening all the time, then, like, it's one thing.

But if it's, you know, not that I don't think it's that bad. Neither do I. But what's your love to say it? What do you love to say about that? Well, she shared this whole story on TikTok and everyone in the comments was like, girl, you do what you got to do. The neighbours will just deal with their shit.

They decided to live in an apartment. That's their beef. That's the reality. That's the reality. That's your house. You do what you do in your house. And I just love that she was, like, a bit embarrassed and every single comment was like, no, girl, you fucking get it.

Oh. Meow. Love you, bye. As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors. Like when our estrogen levels drop during menopause, causing the risk of heart disease to go up.