Toni and Ryan - A bumcrack stroke from heaven

Episode Date: September 8, 2025

[VIDEO FOR THIS EP AVAILABLE ON YOUTUBE] Ethical dilemma - Miracle of human biology - Sherlock Tones - love ya!!!!!Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today's episode is brought to you by Audible. And let me tell you, Audible's romance collection has something for every side of you. We're talking modern rom-coms from authors like Lily Chu and Ali Hazelwood, the latest Romantic series from Sarah J. Mars and Devney Perry, Regency favourites like Pride and Prejudice, plus all the really steamy stuff. Maybe you're into hockey hunks, ooh, or sexy billionaires, like Tony Lodge. Yeah. Or not that she's into it.

is a sexy billionaire. Or forbidden realms. Oh, and you know what I'm saying? A forbidden realm. Who needs one book, boyfriend, when you can have five. One in the city, one on the hockey rink, one with a sword and dragons. Your first great love story is free when you sign up for a free 30-day trial at audible.ca. Little warning, you may develop unrealistic expectations of real life people, and that's okay.

That's fine. Totally fine. Stroking the top of my bum crack makes me... I wanted to stay anonymous because this might seem super weird. It might. I mean, what do you want? What's the... Do you want us to try? I think we have to.

I'm Eloise from Perth, Western Australia. I'm James from Kansas City, Missouri, USA. Hi, this is Alice from Brun and Switzerland. And I approve this podcast. Welcome to the show. Thank you so much for joining us. My name is Ryan. This is Tony.

We love hanging out with you. If you knew, welcome to Tony's house. Yeah, I broke my foot. Yep. She can't leave the house. So the show came to her.

The show must go on. That's showbiz baby. Showbiz baby. So thank you so much for joining us. We really appreciate it. But if you're not new here, what's up? Hey, to see you again.

We're going to do some These are top confessions Frustratingly anonymous Yep thanks to sending these through to tony and ryan.com.com. What would you like first, Tony? Would you like an ethical dilemma from someone who caught something on camera

or a miracle of human biology? These are two confessions from Tarpers that listen to our show. Should we save the miracle for second because it sounds like it might be good news. Like, is that like kind of like, oh, let's get the hard one out of the way and like do a... I wouldn't say it's good news. Okay.

It is interesting. Okay. If it's true, which it definitely isn't. Let's start with the first one. Okay. We got an ethical dilemma. I'm a wedding photographer and in the background of one of the photos I took, I busted someone cheating.

For those of you playing along at home, listening, Tony's eyes just rolled to the back of her head and there's not a penis inside of her. That is so juicy. The best man. And I'm not talking about me more. Tony. I'm not talking about my mom.

This might be people's first time listening and that M word is just... We introduced it back into our lives yesterday. No, someone else did. Someone else did. I haven't stopped saying it. last night to talk

I was like you want to look at me Mort I didn't do that's so do the romance

is still strong eh yeah all this time yeah sorry my dog is you know he's right up

in your Mort yeah her foot's in me mort the best man was kissing someone

who was not his wife his wife was sitting with the bride in another area and he was

having a cheeky snog behind this room divider where they thought they couldn't be seen oh

my god the tricky part for me is it's a great picture of two family members oh the aunties get together i'll get a little snap yeah and it's a great pick but in the corner is this guy kissing someone who's not his wife do i photoshop out the cheating scandal do i deliver them as is or do i delete the picture and unfortunately we don't get the the beautiful picture of the aunties my job is like my job is to take photos and send them through and give them to the people that pay for them yeah I know my answer immediately it is not really my job to make ethical and moral decisions on behalf of sneaky family members yeah yeah so now my question

is do I edit them out bring it to the couple's attention or delete the images as if it never happened option D so this is where my mind went is that that's just in the group of photos, like in the folder, you give that to them, and that's up to them to either notice, not notice, action, not, like, whatever. So when the Harper says, my job is just to take the photos and send them through.

And I think it, because I think, catch that scumbag. Like, I don't, I don't think Photoshop it out because they're like, so the best man's cheating on his wife, right? the wife finding out I hope that that like splits them up

and changes the trajectory of her life or Which way? What do you mean? Like the trajectory As in like up Yeah great Like like

And it creates a spiral And she goes No no no No no sorry Sorry Didn't realize that had to be more More clear Of what direction

I wanted her to go in But like Or they talk it through And decide to stay together And it's great for their Whatever But I just, I think that like, it's on the bride and groom to like decide. Their job is to get married to each other.

They're not. But then when after they've gotten back from Hawaii and like, you know, they've written their thank you cards, they're going through these photos. I think then they get to decide whether. Then they include it in the thank you card. Thanks for coming to our wedding. Here's our aunties.

Here's a picture of our aunties. Thought you might like to enjoy this one. What would, if you were, I'm going to. flip this a little bit. Say you and Bridge had just gotten married, right? No, no, no, no. Say you and Bridges just gotten married. And when Georgia Veryl sent through the photos,

there was one in the background of someone getting cheated. Like, what would you do? Like, say you're in the bride and grooms position and you received that photo, would you tell... What would I do? I would Photoshop the clothes of the cheater into a court jester. But like, would you,

would you, and say it's your best man, like, would you, I would send it to the best man and say, what's going on here, bud?

Yeah. Like, is there something, yeah, you need to fucking tell us? So you would go to your mate, not his wife. Well,

I'd be like, is like, there's probably not, but I'm like, is there an expert, like, what, you know,

you've done this, you explain it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And there's like stone cold evidence. Yeah. Oh,

she had something, in her mouth so I tried to suck it out. And your aunties were there and they joined after the next photo is all four of them. We can't message you back because you are annoyingly anonymous. But if there's an update, please send it through. Yeah, I would love to know what you ended up doing. But I reckon, yeah, send it on. Not your like handball that sucker.

Okay. Yeah. Uh, okay. So here's the miracle of boxing. Biology, I believe, is how you put it before. Well, this could save a lot of people. Actually, this would be very helpful for you at the moment. Oh.

And you'll know why when you hear it. Actually, it won't be the first line, though. So just, um... Okay. I'll brace myself here. Stroking the top of my bum crack makes me piss more when I'm peeing. I always used to wake up for a wee in the middle of the night. How annoying.

And that'd be annoying for someone with the broken mort? That... But if I gently stroke... But if I gently stroke the top of my bum crack during my before bed pee, more piss comes out and then I don't need to pee in the middle of the night. I put this as a confession because I wanted to stay anonymous

because this might seem super weird. It might. However, if I'm a genius who has made a discovery about human biology, I will come forward and take credit for it. It's really smart. Reveal yourself. I mean,

what do you want? What's the? Do you want us to try? I think we have to. Because I'm guessing getting up in the night and peeing is a real hassle for you at the moment. It is actually, yeah. So what time do you normally go to bed? I've been going to bed like 9.30 or 10.

Would you like me to come around about 8.45? when you're like getting your jammies on. Yep. You're going to have like your last P before you go to bed and I can, do you want to stroke it? Do you want to stroke yourself? That's actually really swing. Yeah.

I'll stroke the top of your bumcat. Is that an empty? Is that an empty? I'll be around tonight, 845. Will you come around with the socks and the nail clippers that you got for me from the rainforest cafe? Yep. Yeah.

And for some reason, this is a, this is crazy. Yeah. They dated the receipt today and not three days ago. and I said I was going to get you the socks. No, they always do that. Yeah. So, you know, I'll come around.

Hey, I'm not in the business of asking questions. Do I look like I'm a detective? I don't mind, mate. No. No, but you could be a detective because tonight you might be solving the crime of the butt-crack stroke-piss thing. The butt-crack bandit.

So you're, I could be Sherlock tones. Damn it. I hate that you're not. name is so much better than Scoop John. Fuck. Detective Dunn will never show his face in this town again. Sherlock Tones is on the case. How did I just come up with him?

How we never thought that before? How, but how when that just came up just then, did I come up with a name so amazing that it deserves to have its own segment? Like, all we do normally is come up with different versions of normal or not. Here we are. Well, we haven't heard this. segment yet. So it does have a, it does have a great name.

Detective Tones, Sherlock Tones is on the case. Is this illegal or not? I'm Eloise from Perth, Western Australia. I'm James from Kansas City, Missouri, USA. This is ours from Brun and Switzerland. And you're listening to Tony Ryan. Today's episode is brought to you by Audible. And let me tell you, Audible's romance collection has something for every side of you.

We're talking modern rom-coms from authors. like Lily Chew and Ali Hazelwood, the latest Romantic series from Sarah J. Mars and Devney Perry, Regency favourites like Pride and Prejudice, plus all the really steamy stuff. Maybe you're into hockey hunks, ooh, or sexy billionaires, like Tony Lodge. Or, not that she's into it, she is a sexy billionaire.

Or forbidden realms. Oh, and you know what I'm saying, a forbidden realm. Who needs one book, boyfriend, when you can have five, one in the six. city, one on the hockey rink, one with a sword and dragons. Your first great love story is free when you sign up for a free 30-day trial at audible.ca. Little warning, you may develop unrealistic expectations of real life people and that's okay.

That's fine. Totally fine. A massive shout out today to a few of our best friends over at our champion, over at our Patreon, sorry, a few of our champion tarpers. All tiers, though, are rolling along the bottom of YouTube. So if you watch you on YouTube and you're seeing the name for Popup, and you're like, what are they? It's all the beer for my Patreon.

Thank you for being part of it. So a big shout out to Ellen, Paris Williams, thanks, Paris, Crystal, Claire Kay, Shelley, Larnie, Jen Davis, and Beth. Absolutely love to see it. Thank you very much for being part of it. And also, a little bit of a shout out because today is actually the anniversary of my mum passing away and even though that sounds really sad i just wanted to have a little say a little something and just say love you hope that you're watching hope you subscribe to our patreon um but yeah i just wanted

to say it felt like weird to not acknowledge it and i was like you know what i just want to say a little hey you know so is that 12 years uh no 13 13 yeah far out yeah oh fuck yeah yeah maybe it is 12 2013 it was so yeah what's yeah so that is 12 sorry you're right yeah sorry someone's paying attention detective dunce on the case well later tonight when you feel a nice stroking of the top of the bum crack you'll know that's coming down from heaven that's Liz just giving you a little a bum crack stroke from heaven and you know what that's the title of today's episode a bumster bump straight from Evan.

Now, we decided very, very early on in this podcast and bless her. Love you so much. And I miss you so much. And I would really wish that you were alive to take care of me, my broken foot and my broken moot. We decided early, early on in this podcast that this was, and we mentioned it yesterday, actually, completely by chance. It's a COVID-free zone.

And we decided that we were like, this is not like an. area kind of we want to go into we're not newscasters we're not just like you don't need to hear that from us yep but i did have a bit of a hot take early in the day where i said there was something though that i loved that covid has destroyed and it was that i loved that people stopped fucking high-fiving because you all of a sudden you weren't touching hands you weren't touching anybody it's just i hate a high-five think they're fucking stupid she hates fun and something that all also came about during COVID that I didn't realize I liked at the time until now is remember when you used to line up and there were like dots on the ground to like stay far away like

the social distancing thing yeah yeah like the 1.5 meters and are they stuck around well some I think are just still stuck to the floor yeah but like when you go somewhere new they don't like have those anymore and as someone who's actually i've never needed a lot of space i currently need a lot of space to get around oh so you don't want people crowding you up and so because i've got my scooter or my crutches and i'm in my moon boot i kind of need like a lot of space to move around i'm pretty slow as well like i'm not really quick at busting around understandable given the circumstances. No, totally.

Like, and I think it's... Imagine someone with a broken foot on crutches and someone like, take your time. Yeah. Oh, God. Could you fucking speed this up with? Um, so because I have to go in for surgery for my foot and I've kind of had to go in and

out of doctors and had all these different, um, appointments and stuff like, like, you meet all these people. You've got to go to all these new places and it's so like, I don't know who decided that a hospital should be the most confusing place to go. I know what we'll do we'll get people who are not in their best state put them in a fucking maze and put no car parks there for less than a million dollars

chapter like because you can't you just cannot get around a hospital easily I reckon Harvard will come out with a study in a hundred years and go for the last 150 years we've been doing this test yeah and turns out

this human experiment the human rat maze of going to a hospital Oh, yeah, so you fill out the form and, oh, do I bring the form back to this counter? No. No. You go down the lift, walk across three, then you'll see another lift, go up seven, down there. You'll see a guy, slack him on the moot. There's a lift on the right and a lift on the left.

And if you go in the one on the right, you'll die. And if you go in the one on the left, it would take you to the right level. And then we've moved your car. Yeah, and if there's a troll there, you've gone too far. Like, it's just so confusing. And the other part about the hospital, and I really hope that people relate to this, because it's not the first time it's happened to me. Hospitals have like,

because often they're on like a block and it's the block of the street. And so there's four addresses. Yeah. Like you know how you go, oh, the fucking, the Sally Street entrance is different

to the Karen Street entrance on the other side. Like it's not the same thing. Who talks about you being on to? No, I'm just making that up. But like, so, well, actually. Is it the most bog in hospital in the world? Oh, yeah. Yeah, down on Sally Street.

Oh, I go on the Karen entrance. Yeah, I don't know. But so we actually, I had to go to the Austin, which is in... Oh, did you park on Deborah Street? In her... No, it was on Moranda Street on the eastern fucking side. And so we went to the Austin Hospital and... To an Abel was born.

Really? Yep. Oh, my God. How beautiful. Was she there when you were? No, she wasn't. No. But they're doing like all of these renovations at the moment.

So the reception. is not currently at the front of the building. And they're not anyway, but yeah. It's in the guts of the building. So where we park, so Torbs kind of threw me out and he parked just a little bit further down the street. We walked up to where the reception is

and there's like a laminated piece of paper there, right? And it's like, oh, the reception's now changed. Keep going this way. And there's like arrows down this hallway. Take the seventh left to the fucking, literally right so we're on this fucking orienteering amazing race fucking course trying to just

find someone to show me where to fucking go I've got my moon boot on I'm on my scoot scoot and I'm like traversing down this narrow like temporary walkway because it's like not

oh there's someone at the door This is very exciting. Tony's fiancée's here. Oh, my dog's out the door. Thank you. Thank you. Appreciate it.

Oh my God, you guys. It's my hawkers. Chuck them over. I'll do an unboxing after this. Yeah. After this. Love you, sweetie. Thank you.

Is it true that you got the hawkers because you have been told that they are better for rehab? Apparently they're a great rehabilitating shoe for a broken book. Broken wood. Anyway, I'm. traversing down this fucking false temporary walkway it's so narrow it's so dark and the floor is plastic don't lick that baby come here and don't lick mama's hocker anyway i'm traversing down it's it's not good and there's all these other people like they're pushing like beds down this corridor but so and i'm trying to like get out of the like it's just it's quite overwhelming we walk into

the guts of this building, I say, yep, I'm here for blah. Here's the, like, the suite room. Can you just tell me which lift to take? Because they all take different places. She goes, can I see the text message you receive like confirming your appointment? I hand her the thing. And she's like, oh, let me just have a look. She's like on her computer. And I would say, we're probably standing in this nook of reception for probably three or four minutes. Like she's trying to figure out where we're supposed to be it turns out we are not in the right building like we've gone to Karen street we're supposed to be on Miranda Street and I go oh how do I get there and she goes you'll have to go all the way back out to like outside the hospital drive around the block and park

on a different street because it's like a different entrance so this is going to fuck you right up so the Austin and the Mercy are two separate hospitals in the same building. Oh, it's, so you've probably, you've probably gone to the wrong hospital and they go, yeah, the other hospital's down the hall. Yeah, but so she goes, you'll have to go back out, drive around the thing and then, and I was like, oh, okay, in the three or four minutes, it's taken for her and I to realize I'm not in the right place.

Yeah. Quite a few people have ended up in this nook of reception, also trying to ask for directions and figure out where they're supposed to be. Yep. I realize that I have to get from where I am to this other thing. I'm not moving very quick in, I've got about 10 or 15 minutes to kind of get there. So immediately I'm a bit like,

fuck, like I've kind of got to get out of here and like find the right place. In that time, all these people have come into the nuk to ask for directions. I look, I do a bit of a quick check and, realize that there's people standing so close to me and the turning circle on the scoot is not great. It's like you really need a good run-up to kind of get around on it.

Can we give an example that involves the bathroom in your house? Yes. Yeah. Because of the turning circle of the scooter, Tony has been peeing with the bathroom door open because if you close the door to the bathroom, you can't turn the scooter around. I can't turn around and you And if that doesn't paint a picture of how tough it is to turn, then I can't help you. Yeah. And I also, because I can't stand up without support, I can't lift it and turn it on the spot. Can't still wheelie, fanging around. Yeah, like I, so anyway, so I kind of, I turn around expecting people to go, oh, let's, and they just did not move.

What the fuck? And I was just like, oh, sorry. And they just didn't hop out of the way. and then I go Fuck sorry everyone I'm going to have to reverse this bitch Did you get a good laugh And I got a bit of a laugh

Torbs lost it And the other people are like Oh sorry Were you expecting Like that was like the ice breaker Yes For them to go Oh well obviously don't be silly

Yeah can I Can I let me get out of the way And like Yeah And did it work? No. So I've dropped that thinking that I can like smoke them up and fuck off. And now you actually have to reverse back.

No empty office here, mate. I'm ready to see it. Now I have to reverse this thing into the crowd of people that apparently need to find their way through the Austin fucking hospital. How does it go in reverse? It's not great. And like I said, there's like plastic on the floor. So it's like,

as I'm trying to like turn the. wheels so I can move out of the thing and then I just had to like bust out of there as quick as I could so I could get around to like the right place but like literally not a single person like moved or was like oh okay and they're obviously there at the hospital they're like probably sick and injured as well so I was like surely you would understand that I'm like I'm kind of like limited movement and there a thing with like when you're in a hospital though you just go I'm in a hospital I'm going to assume that everyone like I don't know what's wrong with you but it's probably maybe something yeah

so everyone maybe a bit benefit of the doubt yeah get of an extra step yeah be a bit nicer a bit of space kind of try and help you out and stuff and I literally so then I I've said like fuck I'm gonna have to reverse this you guys and not a single and I was just like oh my god and I'm trying to turn it Torbs is losing it and I've just got my and I'm like scooting out like it was so humbling. Yeah. Because then I'm just like, oh,

on my little scooter trying to get out of it. Did Taubes do the honorable thing? And give me a push. And film it for us. Oh. Because I need to see this. Because this sounds so funny. It was fucking hilarious.

I could probably do a dramatic reenactment, but it was so funny. And even Torbs could like feel the like eyes on. Because everybody just started looking at me because it was so noisy on the plastic and Torg puts his hand on my back

and I thought that he was just trying to comfort me but he pushed me along so that I could get out of their fast stuff. I thought he just put

the hand on the top of your butt cracks so he could piss more. I could piss more as I scoot it away leave a trail of the structure so yeah

did you make it? Yeah so we ended up going around and making it and my surgeon was running a little bit late I sit down I sit down

I went through the fucking gormant it backwards and this motherfucker can't even turn off on time. I sit down in reception and I go, oh, a minute to myself and I open my phone and blaring through my speakers

was the nanny theme song. It was not. I'm not even joking. Here's the screen. I took a screenshot to show you. That Instagram page, I'm 30F or whatever. Yeah.

They posted a funny tweet about the nanny. And you know, that song is the theme. That song is the music on the post. I opened my phone and it was like, she was looking here in a bride. Like, I could not, but, like, you cannot make this shit up.

And I'm like, like, trying to turn the, like, oh, my God, it was so fucking funny. Um, so great day for me. Well, ironically, you were out on your fan. Out on my moot. Oh, sorry. Doesn't her off the time, doesn't it? No, no, but me moot does.

Sorry. Sorry. Hey I've got to you I love you You made it I did I made it Good on me

I'm proud of you But hospitals man They need to live They actually do Like they need like Better directions or something How can the same place Have eight addresses

That's too much But you know how some people's house Are like this number to that number Like 21 through 30 Yeah Oh well it would never be that Because they both have to be odd numbers Sorry

I've got to hear love to see it uh it's from amy paddock who's a dog groomer hi amy uh one of okay this is actually really nice one of her puppy clients every time he arrives he has lipstick on the top of his head because his mom always gives him a smooch on the way out that's the cutest fucking thing i've ever heard in my whole entire life and every time the same dog a little bit of red lipstick on top you know because mom's giving you a smooch that used to happen to me heaps i would always end up at school with like pink lip gloss on my face because my mom always wore this like pink glittery lipstick it's a d'or one i have that i have

her lipstick and your mom used to live at the blue light disco and if she would like she would drop me up at school every day and i'd always end up with like she would do that oh sorry like she would always do it that's so funny that that's the you love to see it that you just read out that's so funny today on her day of death are you comparing yourself to one of amy paddock's puppy clients just a cute little puppy dog you are a cute little puppy dog yeah cute little bitch that is so sweet that is sweet uh i've got you love to see it here from ellis graham um ellis says you love to see it um i got diagnosed with crone's disease last year and i've struggled with eating because i'm in heaps of pain yeah isn't that fucking

awful um ella said i lost a horrible amount of weight and like could barely function um recently i hit rock bottom this ends beautifully by the way like it's sorry it's sounding really green yeah uh-huh um i hit rock bottom recently when i was admitted into hospital probably couldn't even fucking find her way around uh because i had an infection that was not going away and my body was just two weak to fart itself um after two major four-hour surgeries major four-hour surgeries uh on my intestine and bladder, 13 days in hospital and some time in intensive care. Fuck, that is, oh, I could never. I can finally say, I'm back home and eating like I used to.

Fuck, yeah. Like pre-diagnosing. Diagnosis. Pre-diagnostic. What's DNA stand for? Denkensinkalankan acid. Ellis says, it's been a long journey figuring out this disease, but I can finally see the light at the tunnel.

and eat my favorite foods again. Fuck, yeah. I fucking love to see that. That is honestly amazing. That is huge. 13 days in hospitals for you were real. Or maybe she just went for one day and it took her 12 days to get out. To fucking get out.

Yeah, to find their car. Yeah, or she had to start washing dishes to pay off the parking. Don't they fucking see you coming with the parking? They fucking get you. What was the parking like when you broke your foot and these guys took you to the... Free. Okay. Okay.

So Australia has free health. care. Oh, hang on, what's that? Well, no, like, free, but like, you pay so much money to. Yeah, but here's the thing. That I see what you're saying. Australia has... They throw the parking in.

Yeah. Oh, for just $5 million, we'll extra your foot and let you park it. And let you park out the front. But Australia has free health care, but then they charge a $3,000 to park for an hour. It's like when you say, oh, on the plane, you get a free meal. Well, no, you've paid for it. Yeah. Like, people...

Oh, free health. food on the pie? I'm like, well, no, what do you think? Yeah. So, yeah, if you pay an extra $50, you get free food. What do you reckon that $50 is for? Yeah, you've paid for it. You know what I mean? Anyway, I took a photo of my daughter and my wife on the plane and my wife

Bridget goes, oh, where did you take that? No, she said when did you take that? She said when, as in what point of the flight and you know it. Oh, when? I reckon between take off and landing. Oh, you are such a fucking, you are such a dad. You're turning into

such a dad that is such a dad thing to say that when do you reckon when were we in the plane you're such a little bitch that's what she said and then she replied yeah good i'm gonna you know what i'm gonna text bridge right now and say i'm sorry that he said that i'm gonna apologize on your behalf apologize she should apologize for being so silly you're unbearable love you so much my mom's dead love you Do you understand see my hawkers? How dare you call me that on the anniversary of our mother's passing? Our mother!

We're twins, twins. Love you. Love you, Liz. Love you, oh yeah, love you, mum. Tomorrow on the show, speaking of... Tomorrow is my sister's birthday. It's a rough week for us. If your mum died, tomorrow...

Like the day Let us know On the 10? Yeah Okay But we're talking about Dick Picks from back in the day Should have done that today

In honour a mum Old school dickpicks Love you And I'm talking to old school like analogue Like pre-digital Like getting them developed at the chemist Oh nice Nice

Tough has got a few old stories Love it For Liz. For mum. Yeah. Love you. Love you. Bye.

Bye. Today's episode is brought to you by Audible. And let me tell you, Audible's romance collection has something for every side of you. We're talking modern rom-coms from authors like Lily Chew and Ali Hazelwood, the latest romantic series from Sarah J. Maas and Devney Perry, Regency favourites like Pride and Prejudice,

plus all the really steamy stuff. Maybe you're interested. to hockey hunks or sexy billionaires like Tony Lodge or not that she's into it she is a sexy billionaire or forbidden realms oh and you know what I'm saying a forbidden realm who needs one book boyfriend when you can have five one in the city one on the hockey rink one with a sword and dragons your first great love story is free when you sign up for a free 30 day trial at audible.ca little warning you may develop unrealistic expectations of real life people, and that's okay.

That's fine. Totally fine.