Toni and Ryan - A Strawberry Scandal

Episode Date: October 1, 2025

[VIDEO FOR THIS EP AVAILABLE ON YOUTUBE] NORMAL or NAH fruit edition - Strawberry scandal - House next door - love ya!!!!!Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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audible.ca little warning you may develop unrealistic expectations of real life people and that's okay that's fine totally fine i've never put a strawberry in a s before like i don't think i've ever put a strawberry in before that is Is that crazy? Yeah. Why am I so upset by this? I don't know. Sorry about that, everyone.

Sorry. Do we need a second to regroup? Can you just like tell me something nice? That I love you? Nicer. No, I've got nothing. Hi, I'm Ruth from Devon in the UK, and this is Frankie. Hi, this is Billy Brousseau from Chick-Massachusetts.

Hi, I'm Simone from Greensparatt, and I approve this podcast. Hello and welcome. My name is Ryan. This is Tony. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. If you're new here, thank you so much for joining us. If you've been here for ages, also. Now, on Thursday, we do normal or nah. Thanks to everyone who sent these in either to the Tony and Ryan Facebook group or Tony and Ryan.com.com. you, we start with Tarpa Brooke. Hi, Tarpa Brooke.

Oh, sorry, can we just say that we know that everyone's been on the edge of their seats? Seeing as yesterday, Ryan hooked this as normal or nah, the fruit and vegetable addition. Is cucumber a fruit or a vegetable? Because if it's a fruit, I can just call this whole thing a fruit addition. Well, I would consider it a vegetable, but I think because it has seeds, it makes it a fruit. Oh, well, then it's just the fruit edition of normal or nah. Oh, well, then if you were hanging around for vegetables, you can fuck off. We'll come back next Thursday.

Yeah, but who knows? I'll have to find some vegetable normal on ours down. I love cucumber. Yeah. And do you know what I love is that now they're rebranding the baby ones as kukes? Like, you know how they, like the brand is like, kukes? I've been calling cucumbers kukes rages. So am I miss aging them?

I don't think, I don't know. But like, you know how then you get the baby ones? Yeah, and they're like called kukes now. I love that. Cute kukes. Yeah, cute kukes. Camilla, let's start with her. I've changed my mind.

Hi, Camilla. uh my wife says camilla uh when she needs half a cucumber for a salad she just snaps it in half with her bare hands hot then she slices the cucumber with a knife and i'm like why the fuck did you not use the knife to have it she said it's just easier that way i also think the raw animal magnitude of uh snapping something with your hands just feels really good camilla it sounds like you're married to an alpha dog i love that because you know when you're like um teaching it who's boss. Cnapping.

Like, you know, when you like have to snap the ends off beans or, um, asparagus or whatever, it's just so satisfying.

Mm. So I don't do that, but normal. On a tough scale. Yeah. Like zero being like, and 10 being like mad dog with Tats and rides a bike.

Where is snapping a keuk in half with your bare hands? That might be 10. I think that's pretty bold. And the other thing is they bruise quite easily. So you've got to get a quick snap so that they, so that they don't, like, get full juicy. Pussies. You know?

You got to do a quick one. You can't, like, fuck around with it. Yeah, so true. It would also have to be fresh, because, you know, when you get a cucumber, that's been in the fridge for a bit and it's like, yeah, and it just like bends in half. Like rubber.

You fold in half and you just put it back in the drawer. Yeah, that's that. I'll use that next time. Yeah. Oh. Hello, green bin. Nope. Sorry, I just said that like it's a thing.

It's not. Yeah. If this is your first episode, we don't say that. Like, just in case you think that we're... I think we should start. Hello, green bin. Oh, hello green bin. Oh, hello green bin.

Like compost bin. Yeah, we got it. Yeah, we got it. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, if those bins and mama's green, what would you think it was? Clearly compost and garden waste. In Australia.

In Western Australia, sorry, the green bin is the garbage. So it's like all dark green like the lids. Yeah. Fuck, I lived there for four years and did not know that. Yeah. Sorry. Anyway. Normal enough from Brooke.

Hi, Brooke. And I've actually got a prop because Tony and Lily made fruit and veg magnets. Yeah, now what's this one? That one's a tomato. Oh, I was the same as your shirt. This one is a. Strawby. So the tomato was one of mine.

That's one of Lills, the strawberry. She did a very good job. Very good job. Tarpa Brooke says, throwing whole strawberries into a smoothie because I'm too, lazy to rip the green bit off the top. Oh. Now, a part of me thinks maybe there's like a bit of fiber and greeny goodness in it,

but the other half makes me think strawberry smoothies are like sweet and delicious and that's just going to be earthy and dank. I have never... Oh, a green bin. Hello, green bin. Oh, sorry, yeah. I've never put a strawberry in a smoothie before. Like, I don't think I've ever put a strawberry in a smoothie before.

That is Is that crazy? Yeah Fuck dude That's like Strawberries are expensive I can't be throwing whole ones yet That's up

What are you going to A whole punnet in there That's just so So So I don't know why I'm so upset by that Me either But I've just never thought

To put a straw ups in there Hello green bin Me Pop me in the compost What are you putting it in there? um well i like a green smoothie but a green smoothie tucked two strobs in there yeah i would probably normally do i don't think there's any smoothie that two strawberries wouldn't make better yeah no i'm like i fully get what you're saying no i don't think i'm normally um because i like a juicy smoothie

not like a milky smoothie so put a strawberry in no so i hear strawberry and i think like oh strawberry banana yogurt whereas I would probably I wouldn't do that I would do like then don't put the banana or yoga in

no but that's just like I don't know why like I've just just like in my mind that's where are we've had to do normal on our strawberries in smoothies because no

but the sweetness I would normally get from like if I did like frozen pineapple or mango or something I just yeah why am I so upset by this I don't know

I would I just have never thought of it before I'm happy to try it and you love trying new crazy things I do yeah I don't think I would leave the green bit on though I think I think because it just doesn't take long to just like snap it off brook how busy are you

yeah now this one's sorry about that everyone sorry do we need a second to regroup can you just like tell me something nice that I love you nicer oh I love that you and I love strawberries in a smoothie. It was like something nice.

It was like something. Tony's just found a chilly dog toy on the couch. I meant something. I just meant like something nice to take my mind off the strawberries and then you just said strawberries again. No, I've got nothing. Oh, welcome to the show. Hello, green bin.

Nicole Emmett has a normal or no. Hi, Nicole. When I twist the stem off an apple, I start doing the ABCs. When it comes off, the letter you're up to is the person's, is the first letter of the person's name who is going to be the love of your life. I do this every time. What? I've never heard that before.

Now, here are some apples I prepared earlier. Do they have stems, though? No. Oh, little stems. And it's not the size that matters. It's how you do it. Yeah. But that's going to be tough.

Okay, do you want to try? Hey, let's see if I got a bigger, I should, oh, okay, you go first. So am I trying this? Okay. I hope the lovey life starts with an A. Alex, it does. Well, yeah.

A, B, C, D. D for Dunning, it's me. You really have that ready to go. Yeah, I guess it is D. Yeah, I'm married to the D. D is the love of her life Alright here we go A, B, C, D

E, F G H-I-J-K L-M-N-O-P Q-R-S T Oh It's sobs That's good

Nah Nah Yeah, no nah for me Oh no but I got you Oh, that's really cold That being a fridge So I'm cold with my taste It's really cold with these

We put apple in a smoothie That's yum What? What the fuck? No Canceled, cancel Oh Yes, you would

No No Close next segment Hi, I'm Ruth from Devin in the UK. Hi, this is Billy Buccio from Chickabee Mouse. I'm Simone from Greensprack and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. Today's episode is brought to you by Audible. And let me tell you, Audible's romance collection has something for every side of you.

We're talking modern rom-coms from authors like Lily Chu and Ali Hazelwood, the latest romantic series from Sarah J. Maas and Devney Perry, Regency favourites like Pride and Prejudice, plus all the really steamy stuff. Maybe you're into hockey hunks, ooh, or sexy billionaires, like Tony Lodge. Yeah. Or, not that she's into it, she is a sexy billionaire. Or forbidden realms. Oh, and you know what I'm saying? A forbidden realm. Who needs one book, boyfriend, when you can have five, one in the city, one on the hockey rink, one with a sword and dragons?

Your first great love story is free when you sign up for a free 30-day trial at audible.ca. A little warning, you may develop unrealistic expectations of real life people and that's okay. That's fine, totally fine. This episode is sponsored by RBC and you know that feeling when you're not sure about how to get into the job market or you can see the future you want but you don't know how to get there? Absolutely. It's tough out there. It's tough. Well, that's where RBC comes in. They've got scholarships to support students as they study, ways to network so you can connect and learn more about what interests you and tools to grow your social. skills so you're ready for the jobs of tomorrow.

So it's really not just about opening doors, but giving you the confidence to walk through them. If you've got ideas, big dreams, or just that little spark of what if, check out RBC.com slash open doors to make your ideas happen. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tap as well. Ryan's just, um, just chumping on an apple. some of us only took one bite and he just kept going oh good though

King Mart might be King Mutt King Mutt with the broken foot Casey good on your Casey Sarah Horn thanks Sarah Keelan Jake Henry Hill love to see it Jake thank you Dylan Walsh Roy Dixon

Nick King Casey barbecue our favourite drag queen Jared Ford and Laura Schlemons thank you very much being part of our patron absolutely like to say It means next Monday, no, the Monday after, huge announcement, something we've never done before.

Yeah, and we still don't know. We asked Ryan yesterday after the show and he went, mm-mm-mm. And this Friday, we are doing a listening party for Taylor's Fish New Album. Yeah, very exciting. So if you're a champion tapar in our Patreon, you'll be able to see that and listen along with us. Yep. Now, I got to Tony's house the other day. I don't want to say rattled.

That's not quite the right word. Bit excited. The guy across the street from Tony selling her house. And Tony just, like, can't comprehend this. I'm so excited. But you were just sitting there going, it's crazy. It's crazy. It does feel crazy.

I'm like, is, it's not that crazy. I think it's. Like people, he's been there for, what, 30 years? Yeah, he's been there for a long time. And his kids have, like, grown up, gotten older and they're, like, moving on. But when I came over, you must have just found out because you were just like, I just, I just, I just, I just, I don't know. It's just crazy. Well, I think.

I said I was more excited because I was like, think about the opportunity. Yeah. So you know how yesterday on the show we're talking about how if you're running late, it's because you're an optimist. I'm an optimist. I'm thinking about all the amazing things that could happen. Should we rattle them off one by one or what are we thinking here? All right.

So, well, one of the options I feel like is buy it and create mega house. I did after getting excited about this think about the reality of that Of cleaning two kitchens Well that but also like buying another house Because if we were Like if Torbs and I were to buy another house We would have to sell this house

Yeah So Like no you see what I'm getting You know, when I came around the other day, these very logical thoughts hadn't come through yet. No. But I'm something, we should have recorded the other day. Because you were like, I'm going to buy them. We're going to be this and I'm going to.

But wouldn't you, hypothetically, if we were buying the both. Yeah. Wouldn't you rather like one nice big kitchen instead of just another smaller one? Well, because I was like, we could knock it. Like, knock the fence down, join them, you know. Yeah. I'm thinking mega house. Instead of having no garage, you could have more space with still no garage.

Yeah. Yes. I was like, there are very minimal benefits. Because for me, like, and everybody knows this about me, that I'm wet for life. Not currently. Can't currently get wet. We have a countdown on our, we have a website countdown right now to www. warkspynevember.com.

That's when Tony will be out of her moon boot. Because my surgeon has said that I will be. be in Birx by November. Don't know when I'll be able to swim. I reckon by then. If you're in Birx, you can swim. I'm hoping by then. Synonymous, I think.

Bourbon and Coke. So currently I'm not wet. I feel like the first time I get wet since this, we've got to live stream that, we've got to do something with that. So true. We have to. Are you implying that you're going to buy the house next door so you can swim

because that house also does not have a pool? No, no, no. Okay. So this is where I'm going with. Sorry, I've eaten a lot of Apple. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

I am wet for life. I am I really wish we had a pool like this is you know and so if torbs and I were to move that is like actually my non-negoti like if we are like we will not buy another house without a pool like we've actually decided that's what's important to you and the other thing that we've said that we wouldn't buy a house without is a garage so I know what we'll do we'll buy a place across the street which has also no garage and also no pool but could we then just like say we live over here, but we park and swim over there. But there's no...

Wouldn't that be good? We're going to swim. We'd have to put a pool in. Yeah. And a garage. And so... Why don't you put a pool in the back of your own house and a garage at the front of your own house?

Yeah. Or you could buy another house and not have room for those. So this is kind of where we're getting to. Is that now we're like, okay. I regret not talking about this the other day. No, because I think that this is... I'm pretty sure your sister was moving in next door on the stage. Oh, I've actually said.

the link to quite a few people who I thought like how cool would like it would actually be awesome if live you live next door I know that you keep saying no but I actually think that would be great who's the person that annoys the fuck out of you the most in this world that I love the most but who annoys the fuck out of you but I love the most I think you're in a good distance no but it's a healthy distance no if she was right there oh you would fucking hate it. And I mean that from the bottom of my heart. And she probably would too.

Because your sisters, what do sisters do? They fight and they make up and they fight. And you've got this perfect sort of 20 minute drive, what I would call, the drive is the cooling off period. But see, don't you think that if we live...

By the time to get back here, you're not as fucked off. If we lived right next to each other, the second that I'd got to be fucked off, I could come home. But I can't do that when I'm 20 minutes like. Yeah, but then you'd just be marching back and forth. And you're like,

she doesn't fucking. came over for two days. And there's no, there's no cooling off here because you just come over. And then every time something happened. Yeah. Like you'd look over and there'd be a light on. She goes,

oh, she got a fucking light on, but she got messaged me. Oh, fucking go. Yeah. Left me on red. Yeah.

But can still put the oven on. Yeah. Oh, imagine if she had a friend over. I'd get so jealous. You'd be so jealous. I'd be so jealous. Wait,

send it to leave. Or imagine if we had to record a podcast here. Oh, and she was like, I'll just pop round. I'll just fucking sit right here in between you. Don't mind me. And she would too.

She would do. I would love it. No, you wouldn't. You would hate it. Then you would come to work and we'd have to hear all about it. Oh, sorry for sharing my life with you. I'll just go fuck myself. Does anyone similar to everybody loves Raymond, like live next door to their mom and dad or a brother or something?

Sorry, but isn't everybody loves Raymond just a fucking blast from the past? I haven't thought about that show in years. Yeah. I don't know why. canes me but does his parents live across the street yeah um and the brother lives with them doesn't he or something yeah yeah robert barone he's a great character oh ray man you know had a really low voice so now that we've had time to reflect where yeah where you were um well i will say the huge wake-up call was that i can't afford two houses can'tcha that that was a that was

shocker yeah like obviously cost of living crisis works in podcasting so basically doesn't work. Yeah. I go into the bank and they go, so you don't have a job. I go pretty, pretty much. Are you to apply for a job? Yeah. She bought a job at the bank.

Um, and then, yeah. We used to be with Spotify. It would be. Yeah. Oh, does that get me alone? Are you interested in that? Um, I do think though that it does feel crazy that somebody close is like, because we like new neighbors is an opportunity for new friends.

Yeah, remember when you're your ex. When you moved here for years ago, your expectations were so high and it just set you up for disappointment. But I feel like we're getting there. After three years. Like we chat all the time and we catch up. When was the last time one of them were in here? Oh, no. They haven't been inside.

I've been in there and not just for like during an open home, but not the one that they're selling. But like at Christmas time, I went around, took a present and we stayed for a drink and stuff. And when he said, do you want to come in, you were like, oh. No, we went in there. Yeah, but you were, that's not what you thought was happening. No, it wasn't. And I thought I was just driving the present off and then like, you know. What was the present for?

Just for Christmas. What did you get him again? I just took everyone a box of chokies. That's nice. With a ball on it. You want her a nice neighbour. And it said like, from Tony and Alex, like Tony, Alex and Pippa number 12 or whatever. Like, I don't live at number 12.

But I didn't want to say what number I am. I was going to say, do the people at number 12? They go, oh, they don't live here. They message the group. They go, there's impostors in the street. Or maybe Tony's reverse psychologying the scammers. Yeah, maybe. What I'll do is I'll say my real number and then say clearly that's a fake.

Yeah. But like. If we know your birthday and now we know which number you live in. Yeah. What would that give you? Your identity. Oh. But a few of the neighbours actually have messaged about my foot, like messaged me.

I've been like, how's everything going? Like, do you need anything? which is very sweet. And have they followed through or it's just empty offers? They didn't, no, they just asked me how I was. How is that an empty offer? Can I do anything? They didn't say, can I do anything?

Oh, they should be doing more. What? They should be doing more. Okay. If my neighbour had broken their foot and I pretend to care about them. Do you want to move in across the road? No. No, thank you.

I asked Charles, he said no. It's not Charles's style. Do you know who else I offered the house to? Ooh. Or see if you can guess who you think I'm missing. It's someone we both know, obviously. Was that Tim Collins? No, he's just moved out your way, actually.

He's living in an Eltham now. Tim Collins? Yeah. Yeah, he's not my neighbour anymore. He's my neighbour. Jesse, Watkins. Is he looking to buy? Yeah, they've been looking for a while, like kind of around this area.

He would do good there. That's what I said. Howard Torbs go knowing a very attractive man lives next. door. Well, yeah. I did sat at doors. I said, I said it. Jesse, you went, did you? How would, um, is Jessica got a partner? Yep. They're engaged. How would his fiance feel knowing there's a sexual tension happening over the bank fence. Yeah. Yeah. Well, he said, I'm just going to Tony's to help clean the pool. Yeah. She goes, I didn't think she had a pool. She's on pool. Yeah. Some sweat over there. That's a show. But yeah, so we've realized that if we were to move, um, it would be for a pool and that

we can't afford two houses basically that's what was what would be disappointing would be that if you moved in the future and jesse's like what see this is the other thing i didn't even leave you uprooted there so i've moved in and then you fucked off so i said that i was like what if you move in and then we move because i would love to move somewhere with a pool and i don't we don't need a lot but i would love to move somewhere with pool so it's kind of like if that could happen tomorrow we would like do that. Yeah. So say then the right house who pops up and their house doesn't even settled yet.

Yeah. But there. What could have been. Yeah. Um, yeah. So a lot of logistics. I just hope that whoever moves in is lovely because what if we get some evil neighbor?

Like, because our street is so great. What if we get some? I would say that because all of your neighbors are so great, like the law of averages would suggest that the person probably has to be evil. Oh. Like, how lucky can a street get? That's true.

I mean, I already live here. Maxed out. Right. Yeah. I got to love to see it here from Georgia Chin. Hi, Georgia. On, if you'd like to live next order, Tony, realestate.com. Dot,com.

George's, number 12, 13, that's the one across the road. Any number 13. Or 11. Oh, yeah. Number chat. Or 15. Because over the road, that's, like, right. three give or take and it doesn't have a pool or a car up good luck with the search

should we just put the link in the show no chuckles um georgia oh you're all right with your ipad old man my love to see it is oh i can't get the wink on the blink on to work you're lashing out i am sorry i called you out for the next door purchase and you're lashing out yeah you did but i came to my own census, do you know what I mean? After we told you. But I came to my own census. Mabel's going through this phase where like she's doing things that someone else did. What do you mean?

Like she'll come down. But takes after her mother. Oh, wouldn't a table and chairs be a good idea? But another one of Bridget's inventions. No, but like Bridget will come down from the bedroom and go, oh, coffee, toast. And Mabel's like, yeah, I made it for you, mom. And I'm like, oh. Did you?

And Bridger's like, oh, that's cute. And Mabel's like, and she knows what she's doing. So actually she's taking after you. That's a bit of you energy, I feel. Claiming credit for stuff I haven't done. Yeah. What's something I've claimed that didn't actually do?

Oh, you do it a lot. You ever like it? It's more of a vibe. Georgia, my love to see it, is also. I'll start the fucking blog. Nice. I have three sons, says Georgia. Had some mental health issues after each of the kids, you know, some postpartum, sort of

tricky times and stuff. And so I have a great empathy for other pregnant people or people who have just given birth. So I've now leaned into this interest and I'm now a douler. I've started my own business as being a doula. I'm positively fizzing with excitement and anticipation. So for anybody that doesn't. I don't know what a doula is. A doula is not a nurse, but it's more of like...

Like they're not a midwife, right? No. Just they're there purely to support the person giving birth. So we had a doula and they're taking care of you. They're taking care of everything. Sometimes the doctors come and explain stuff in like real medical jargon. Totally. And often in the heat of the battle, you can't advocate for yourself because you're in pain.

And the dole's like, nope, this is our plan. This is what's happening. They get to be the bad guy. They get to be the bad guy. but they also like, you know, just another pair of hands, like taking care of you and going, okay, so that doctors said this, what that means in real terms is blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Just a real emotional support, real emotional support, but also like physical support that they're like, actually they're holding your hand.

It'd be good if you were like a single parent giving birth. Yep. And you didn't have like, or maybe your family lived out of state or whatever and you needed some support. Or your husband saw blood and he's like passed out on the chair and the birth sweep. Yeah. That did happen, didn't it? Um, after the birth, our Dooler came around to the house to hang out with Mabel when she was a week old or something. Oh, that's nice.

And she also came and like, clean the house, cooked his dinner, like, really took care of it. That's beautiful. Obviously, most Doolers are going to be the nurturing soul of the earth. Yeah. And she came over and said, it was a real honour to take care of both of you. All three. All three. Mom, Dad and Mabel.

Now, they don't actually let the, this is how much our Dooler meant to us. When you go into the final, final bits, because the tricky bits at the end of Bridget's pregnancy, she wasn't allowed into the surgeon area, like when they're doing what they need to do. And so I was like, you've been with us for 40 hours straight. Yeah. I am not letting you not see this baby. And so then after Mabel was born, they whispered it away to take care of her. So then I actually left with Mabel to go and hang out in the waiting room to show.

Well, I remember you saying that was like your real special time that you got with Mabes just like one on one. Yeah, but I made sure I went out and spent some time with her. I'm like, you've been with us for 40 hours. You've fucking been through with us. It's like, you're going to see like the literal fruit of labour. I was like, you can't go home. Yeah. Like, it's like such a cliffhanger.

Yeah. It's not the end of the Zodiac Killer movie with Jake Gyllen Hall in it. Like the movie just finishes and you go, well, who was the killer? And they go, yeah, so we used to. don't know. Yeah. It's actually exactly like that. It was.

And I got out there and she goes... Spoilers. You haven't seen it? Well, there's nothing to spoil. Yeah. So the Dooler looks at Mabel and you know what she whispered to Mabel? She goes, So do you know who the Zodiac Killer was?

And Mabel goes, no. She goes, fuck. Anyway, I'm going home to bed. Yeah. Oh, well. Good, good chasse all, everyone. I've had a long day. Yeah.

Oh, I've got a baby So good on you, Georgina. Good on you, Georgia? Yeah, I think it was Georgina. You said Georgia. Yeah, but I'm correcting and pushing through. Hi, Georgina. Poor Georgia.

No, it's poor Georgina. Georgina. I've also got to you love to see here. That's baby roller is very cute. This is from Jamie sent this star on Patreon. She says, Tony, the cutest thing has started happening. My baby boy has. learned how to wave when he hears goodbye.

So when people say goodbye, he can like kind of, like understands the word and like, oh, yeah, we're leaving and like, I'm going to wave. It's the cutest. Jamie says, he now knows when the podcast is ending and has started waving at you and Ryan at the end. So when we... Who's you and Ryan? Is that you and McGregor's brother?

That's funny. Because often people are related by first. name um when tony and ryan start i'm just talking about myself in the third person um when we start wrapping up the podcast and kind of say goodbye say love you bye jamie's son starts to wave at the tv or if they're in the car kind of just starts waving in his car seat isn't that so adorable well i would just like to say goodbye are we done yeah Love you. See you tomorrow. But everybody, if you're listening or watching, doesn't matter, give Jamie Son a wave.

Jamie Son, his way. Love you. Bye. Shout out to Ewe and McGregor. And you and Ryan and the Zodiac Killer. Bye. Do we know that Ewe and McGregor's not the Zodiac Killer? No. Love you.

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