Toni and Ryan - A Sucking System

Episode Date: June 13, 2024

A sucking system... Or two ;) Love ya xoxox [USED TO BE VIDEO EPISODE BUT NOT ANYMORE LOL TECHNICAL CHAT]Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author, best-selling Dr. Author, Tony Lodge. Hello. And we are calling Evie, who's in Townsville in Queensland. Evie! Evie! Evie, let your hair hang down! Ah! Ah! Ah! Oh!

Oh my God! Evie! You scared the shit out of me! Oh my God! No one's ever answered that fast. Or screamed while answering. Because I was on the phone to my friend and I just started screaming. I'm like, got to go.

Can you three-way call them? Yeah, add them in. Add them back in. In the back? Oh, well, Evie, is that you? It's Tony and Ryan. Just in case you didn't know. Oh, yeah, shit.

Hi. Imagine it was like a really important call. I'm just answering. Is that you? It's Tony and Ryan. Just in case you didn't know. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Shit. Hi. Now. Imagine if it was like a really important call. I'm just answering. Are you implying that this isn't a really important call, Eve? Yeah, fuck you. Are you serious? It's the most important call of my day.

That's what I thought. Just thought I'd check. Yeah. Just thought I'd check. Imagine though. I'm dropping the butt off of that. If Evie declined like a call right now from like the lotto office being like, if you answer right now, you get the $10 being like if you answer right now you get

the 10 million dollars yeah we're chasing up the 150 million dollar winner from the other week yeah oh south australia let's move there anyway yeah not north queensland now evie sorry we got some business to cover off we got some business to cover off i believe you've just passed probation at work is that correct um so i've passed my probation. That was wonderful. I don't usually do that. I usually just quit before the six months end. Yeah, Ryan told me that my probation was six years in though, so I've got a bit of time to decide whether I like it or not.

Yeah, but I believe... Six months is a long time. It is! Evie, tell us what happened after you passed probation. Well, I went back to my desk with my little letter and it's like official confidential don't share this with anyone i was like hey guys i've passed probation and then my colleague's like oh congrats and then about five minutes later she like pokes

her head out from behind the desk and goes like with the police police. I was like, like she thought that you were out on bail. Yeah, I was like. And Evie's waving the piece of paper around. I'm a free bird. That's real. That's comedy from the friend though, isn't it? By accident. I mean,

I guess it's fair because I just showed my work mate my mugshot from this one time at band camp. So maybe, like, fair. Wow, that's your own fault. That sounds like another story for another time. Yeah, I think, yeah. Yeah, that's another story for another day. Will you approve the podcast?

Absolutely. That feels like the only natural thing to ask now. Yeah, no, 100%. We've now passed probation. Hey, it's Evie from Townsville and I approve this podcast. Morning for a Friday. Also, you can watch this on the Spotify app. Tony's in a kooky, revved up mood.

Yeah, we're kooky. Sorry. My voice is like not fully recovered yet. No, but your mind has. My mind has. And you're kooky. You're being kooky and I like it. I'm kooky. It's been a little while, but I've got a bit of bin chat.

Yes, it has been too long since bin chat. It's been a while. I feel like with bin chat, we hit it real hard for a while and it's been a little. I forgot that existed, but I loved bin chat. I've got a little bit of bin chat to fucking polish off our week. Yeah, that's great news. That is great news.

Yeah, I thought so. This time last week, we were talking about the accusations of Tony flaunting her SodaStream and it being a low- Flaunting my wealth. Flaunting your wealth and it being a low-key flex. That I had a SodaStream. Yep. And I think the specificities of it being a SodaStream on a bar cart

had something to do with it. But it's not a zip tap. Tarpers in the Tony and Ryan Facebook group have sent through their low-key flex, and I think we should just all embrace the low-key flexes for what they are. They are low-key. Low-key. They are low-key.

But I reckon there's some of these that you'll go, I can see you doing this first one, Tony. I've just got Tony written all over it. Crystal Dixon. Hi, Crystal. How old are you? How old are you? How old are you? You are a child.

Wait till you hear what Kristen Dixon's into. Do you remember that confession that we had about the person whose house got broken into but they found the perpetrator because of the fingerprint on the crystal dildo? Yes. So that's what that reminded me of. Crystal Dixon. You're thinking of the crystal Dixon, yes.

Yes, that's what it reminded me of. We have bore water in our house and it's not drinkable. Yeah. So we have an- It smells too. There's a lot of bore water in Perth. Right. And like so you'd like if you drove through like estates that used it, you can smell it.

Like. Yeah, right. Yeah, it's got a real, like, you know it when you smell it. You just. Taste of the air. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We have bore water in our house, so it's not drinkable. So we have an office-like water cooler in the house.

Oh, love that. That is amazing. And there's a company that comes and takes away the empty bottles and replaces them with full ones. We ain't rich, but this Flex makes me feel like a boss. That's amazing. Yeah. I fucking love that.

That was the first thing I bought for our office. Yeah. Was like a water cooler thing. And the one that I got is like reusable, so you don't have to do the bottles in and out yeah eco-friendly but you just refill the tank yeah it's fucking awesome hey it is a flex it is awesome having that in your house i have so you would never leave right after i bought the one for the office i keep pointing at it like people can see it um after i bought the one yeah we know where it is it's all good we all it's all yeah yeah no i know after i bought that i was like let's get one for home and talks was like well

no like because that's you know how you're getting the thing that well i want to get a fridge that's plumbed because i like only drink cold water but that was only like that was quite cheap you know the dining table that you're wanting to get uh what if that was like that was quite cheap. You know the dining table that you're wanting to get? Yeah. What if that was like that was like built into the side of it? So you'd be sitting there at a dining table and you can just go. Imagine that, but it's Diet Coke. Fuck. Is that possible? Yeah.

Like a fountain Diet Coke in my house? Yeah. Because that would slap. I would never, ever leave the house if you could do that. You can't even get Diet Coke like at fucking restaurants anymore. Now, I'm nervous because it's something you're going to learn about in about 10 minutes, but would you be annoyed or happy if I just like arranged a Diet Coke fountain for your house?

Oh, I'd be really happy. Okay. Because remember that time I tried to order the Deep Fryer and you didn't like that? No, well, because you only wanted to order the deep fryer after I told you that I've got a life rule. And it's never ask someone if they're pregnant. And it's also do not let Tony Lodge have a deep fryer in her house

because she'll die and you'll have to crane me out the fucking side. Can't be trusted. Can't be trusted. So it's not that you're anti-deep fryer. It's just like you can't be trusted with a deep fryer. I cannot be trusted. I would eat a deep fried Mars bar for every meal. Like I would literally shit myself to death.

Yeah. The amount of batter I'd be going through. You know, there's a fucking egg shortage in Australia at the moment. I'd be pushing that right up. Yeah. I'd eat that many eggs for all my batter. Two carton maximum at the moment in Coles. Do you know how?

Is it? Yes. It's like we're in a lockdown COVID situation with the toilet paper. It's the bird flu. I've had so much bird flu chat over the last week or so. Have you? Yeah. Who with?

Not with fucking me. Would you like more bird flu chat with you? No, but who else are you fucking talking to? You talk once a week and it's with me. Once a day, sorry. Yeah. With me. Who else are you talking to?

So I don't know. Your mouth should be shut the second you leave here. I've got something to tell you, Tony, and I thought I'd mentioned it, but I just want to reiterate. And I'm kind of ashamed because I like what we've got and I feel like this could ruin it. Is it that you haven't ordered the fountain from my house for the Diet Coke? I'm married to a woman who's not you.

You're right. That does fuck me off. You have a boyfriend though. Do you talk to her? Yeah. You do what we do together with her. No, not that. Not that.

No. No, I do it on the other side with her. Yeah, because you don't want to get pregnant. Yeah. See, I took your joke that you do all the time and I flipped it around. Like you do with me. Yeah, well, I was about to say because maybe we want more kids. But no, that's all good.

Sorry, the coughs. Yeah. I sound like I'm fucking smoking a pack of darts. So last weekend I was down the farm with my auntie and uncle. Yes. And they've got – and Mabel is like friends with the chicken now. You tell her to be careful because you remember when I got bitten by that chicken. Yeah.

Because I put my finger in its cage to someone. Yeah. It will not be named. Told me that that would be a good idea. So Mabel's friends with the – and I think we're now ready. Like we're all good. BJ's chill with the chicken. And I think we're now ready. We're all good. BJ is chill with the chicken. The chicken is chill with BJ.

Nice. So we're going to get chickens in the backyard. What? Well, I'm not a bird, guys, you know. Yeah, they're in the backyard. When the year over, I'll put them in the coop. Yeah, they have to be penned. In the coop.

Yeah. And so they'll provide eggs and thus the bird flu won't impact us because we'll be off the grid egg-wise. Chicken-wise. Yeah. Unless your chickens get it. They'll have to get vaccinated. I didn't even think of that.

It'll be good for the 5G. Yeah. Fuck, we've really gone on a turkey journey. If you're watching this, you can also have a look at this. The turkeys, are they okay? Yeah. Do they get the bird flu? No, they're all good god oh what's the birth we're gonna do then drive them out even more turkey shit it sucks i had turkey for like the first time in my life at like a

friend's family dinner christmas thing fucking shocking but then I had it in Hawaii because remember they had that big Thanksgiving dinner? And that was like fucking salmon. That was like so soft. Well, I believe turkey is the salmon of the land. I've heard that. I have heard that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm the salmon of the sea.

Yeah. Kit Lace has a low-key flex. Oh, high-key. Oh, fuck. Sorry, we doing that. My flex is no one can beat me at Mario Kart. Doubt it. I'll challenge you, bitch.

I love pretending I don't know how to do it and then obliterating people. Oh, which one's the go one? I will fuck Kit Lace up. Kit, challenge accepted. I'm pretty good at Mario Kart. Chelsea Miller says- Hi, Chelsea.

Low-key flex. We bought a house a year ago with a laundry chute. When were we talking about laundry chutes? Was that on DCI or something? No, I'm pretty sure it was on the pod. It was on the pod? Yeah. I'm sure we've talked about it.

How fucking good's a laundry chute? That's fucking ritzy. It is. That's ritzy. I'll tell you what you should do because your place is single stories, same as mine, is that you can't have a laundry chute if you're on a single storey. No, just throw it across the house, yeah. We should build rooftops on our individual houses just

to put a laundry chute in it to put back down into the laundry. Do you remember in old K-marts where they had that pipe where they'd put the extra money in? We could get that for our laundry. Oh, so you can have a laundry. A sucking system. Another one. Two in my house now.

Actually, you know how your shower, even though your shower. Even though I've only got a single story house. In the en suite. Even though it's like you'd have to walk around the laundry, it does back on. But it backs on to the laundry. The laundry. The laundry.

You could put a hole through the shower. And just shove it through. Yes. But that would go into the like third toilet. So it would just be in the floor of the toilet. Well, it would. How many assholes in your house? Oh, there's three.

You, Pippa and Torbs. Yeah. And you all got your own. Yeah, that's fair. Yeah, and Pippa shits on mummy? Oh, there's three. You, Pippa and Torbs. Yeah. And you all got your own. Yeah, that's fair. Yeah, and Pippa shits on mummy's lawn. That's okay. A vet says I have a- Oh, a vet?

But what's her name? We've heard from a vet. But what's the vet's name? Which war was she in? Is that what you meant? No, I meant a vet, like an animal doctor. Oh, because I was like, you're a vet, thank you for your service. Yeah, yeah, no, I got it.

I have a pop-up PowerPoint in the middle of my real Granite Island bench. Now check- Fuck off. I can't believe I'm saying this out loud. Check Slack. Oh, yeah, we've got a business. Now this is a vet's- Oh, what the fuck?

That, I'm going to go on the record here. Yeah. That is anything but a low key flex. That is the highest key flex. That's a high key flex. A granite benchtop, let's just fucking sit on that for a moment. Yeah, we're going to be cold. Sorry, we've all got fucking laminate.

Yeah. A granite benchtop that's been drilled into. And right at the beginning of the video, you can see that it's been grain matched as well. Yeah. You pay extra for that. Yeah. Oh, fuck. Oh, and the phone USB.

The USB. Fuck. If you're watching the video show, you can watch that. And if not, you can check out the episode. Holy shit. That's pretty fucking nice glad to say we're taking care of our vets fuck that looks good now fuck that's nice remember last week we were talking about a low-key flex is having a crane guy oh yep having a guy for stuff

having a guy for stuff but we and we were jokinganes. Well, because I said about my mate who was like, yeah, I've got a crane guy. And I was like, what, bro? Karen Holmberg. Nope. Holmberg. Yeah, Karen Holmberg. Got there in the end.

Karen has a low-key flex. What's a low-key flex of Karen? Her boyfriend is the crane guy. We bought our first place two years ago, Flex. Congratulations. And we needed to buy a new washer and dryer, and I convinced him we needed the LG tower, Flex. Nice.

They don't come apart, and it can't be carried on its side, blah, blah, blah. We couldn't make it up the stairs because of the angle. So he gets his own crane and cranes it into the side of the house, into the laundry upstairs. and cranes it into the side of the house, into the laundry upstairs. Upstairs laundry? Flexatronicus 5000. Yeah.

My boyfriend whipped out his big, thick crane. Oh. Wow. Now, what did we joke about last week, Tony? That's a real flash. About a crane guy and what I would. You said that you were going to crane right on lawnmower into my backyard. Yeah, I did.

And guess what? Guess who we know now? Please don't do that. We've got a crane guy. Please don't do that. Who's dating a tarpa. They live together. They're practically married.

Please don't do that. Would you like me to show you... Please don't do that. Why's dating a tarpa? They live together. They're practically married. Please don't do that. Would you like me to show you? Please don't do that. Why not? Can I show you something? Has Thomas messaged you? No, he hasn't. Oh, no.

No, I'm going to show you. It's on my phone. Oh, no. I regret not getting a Diet Coke plumbed in. Yeah, because I actually want that. What? No, what? What is it?

Show me. It's a photo of you holding up the finger. Got me, you fucking c**t. That was a jerky journey there, I've seen that. Hey, it's Evie from Townsend. You're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tarpers over at our Patreon Jeremy Aston, good on you Jezza Blaze Bryans

amazing name, Kelly Leishman and Belinda Parrish and every level of Patreon your name scrolls across the bottom of video shows. So if you're watching on Spotify, you can see yourself in there. Big announcement, July 1. Massive announcement. Yep. Very exciting.

Start of a new financial year in Australia. People have asked for this. Cleanest of slates. Yes. It is a good. Yep. New financial year. Time to make a change.

Yeah. My God. Tax. Tax time to make a change. Yeah, my God. Tax. We say tax time. Not a full shareholders meeting, but proper. But shareholders have asked for this, so it's a good update. People will be happy. Beautiful. So I mentioned before, I've got a bit of bin chat.

Yeah, please. Is it how the fuck do I get this crane out of my backyard? Yeah, it's like I've got all these bins in my backyard and how do I get them out? No, nothing to do with cranes. Though I should mention that Ryan has been saying to me like, oh, like anything rocks up at your house this morning? Like has your ring doorbell gone off or anything like that? So you really played the long game on that gag. It's very, very good. You're welcome. The longest of games. Huh? The longest of games.

Yes. I mentioned before before i've got a little bit of in chat it's been a little while um but i think this is worth it um at our house this has been mentioned before that um i've got a small rubbish bin but like a big recycling bin would you say the ratios are off it's way off yeah and then like our green bin like our food waste or like if i do the lawn or whatever gets taken every second week so if you leave like put food in there which is what it's for yeah it like goes fucking rank yeah it like just gets real smelly and then you open it and it's all doesn't the smell just hit you? Yeah, like a fucking crane. Like a crane to the backyard.

It just slaps you in the face. Slaps you right in the face. But, yeah, you open the door and all the, like, little bugs come out because they're obviously, like, enjoying that, like, moist little environment and stuff. Anyway, we've got a small bin at home. Yep. Work has a big bin.

It does. So you get it. What do I get? You know what I mean. We've got a small bin. Work's got a big bin. There's only so much that I can take at my house and we don't create that much rubbish here.

So I thought I will pop some things in our big bin at work. Did you get sign-off from the other directors of the company? Nothing. I did it. I organized the bins. I think that's fine. Yeah, that's fine. But also we've had a, we've enjoyed a little bit

of online shopping recently. We've been ordering a few things here and there and we were like, fuck, we've got heaps of boxes. And I was like, oh, we've got to do a run of boxes at the office anyway. So, like, let's do a run to work. I'll drop some rubbish off. When did this happen? This was a few nights ago.

We'll take a few, take a bit of rubbish to work, drop off a few boxes, whatever. It's late at night and we decide what's that face for? Well, I did some moving of boxes downstairs and I didn't know I was taking on other people's domestic duties. Domestic duties? That's good. I thought it was purely professional boxes I was moving. There's a couple of your personal boxes down there as well.

Just a fucking point fingers, mate. A little, you know, there's a few. I think it's pretty fair. Both of us have had a bit of a crack at it. And actually you said we're going to get someone to do the ones that we're bringing. So I just want to, it's like fair game. Okay.

I haven't like done the wrong thing. We'd all agreed to this. Anyway, there's a few nights ago and we decide that like, look, we've got to take some stuff for the bin. We've got a few boxes. Let's do a run like under the cover of night. And so we put a few bags, boxes in my car and then we go, oh, there's still a couple there.

Like, Torbs, we'll load your car up as well. We'll both go. Jewel cabin. We did, yeah. So we go, we fill out the cars and we go, yep, we'll just do a quick run to work. Yeah. Go down to the office, drop the rubbish off, all good.

Now, it's important here to note that I think one of the most exciting things in the world, and I'm sure that you agree, is pulling up next to someone that you know at the traffic lights. The best thing. It is so fucking thrilling. Awesome. It bowls me over every time because you just go.

I'm pretty sure that's why electric windows were invented. So when you pull up on the right, you can put the left side down and kind of go, get a couple of dinner. Do you not? But it's so good. Sweet up. It's so fucking exciting. I'd say it's almost the pinnacle of comedy.

I think it's like the height of excitement because it's like, what are the odds? When you've left the house at the same time and going to the same place, the odds are probably quite high. Pretty high, I'd say. But still thrilling, isn't it? When it like lines up that you're both three cars back or whatever. Do you always like when I try to cut you off and be like little funny buggers? Yeah, I'd say. But still thrilling, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. When it like lines up that you're both three cars back or whatever. Do you always like when I try to cut you off and be like little funny buggers?

Yeah, and you go, whatever. Anyway, so Torbs and I, we leave the house in our respective cars. Low key flex. We pull up. Fucking hell. And we, yeah, we're ditching rubbish and that's like the exciting part. We pull up next to each other, like we're both three cars back, at the lights near our house, obviously, because it's like right near home.

Of course, we both got the same light. We got there at the same time. I'm on the left-hand side. He's on the right. I wind down my window. He's wound down his left-hand window. And we're like, ah, great, what? How exciting. He's on the right. I wind down my window. He's wound down his left-hand window. And we're like, ah, great, what?

How exciting. And, like, the light goes green and the cars in front of us start to move and we're laughing. Like, oh, what are the chances? We both roll up our window and we keep driving down the road. We get to the next set of lights and we're the people at the front. So we're both the first car. This and we're the people at the front. So we're both the first car. This feels like the Fast and the Furious.

Was there a little rev? We'll have a little fucking go at it. My window was like still half down and I'm like, oh, pop it down again. Ah, like go over here. And Torbz yells out of his window and he's like, oh, hi. And he goes, oh, show us your tits. Right? And it's late at night and I'm just wearing a jumper with nothing underneath.

And he yells out, show me your tits, being funny. and he yells out, show me your tits, being funny. And so I go like this, reveal my breasts. A Tony Lodge on the streets of the inner suburbs of Melbourne. And so we're both the first car in the, like at the lights, and I've got my tits out. Like my tits are fully out. And there's obviously other cars, so there's things happening. And as I've got my breasts revealed at the intersection

where the Preston market is, I hear this. That's Billie Eilish. And it's Billie Eilish. And a little man is scurrying across the way, probably on his way to the Preston market, while I'm in the car like this, full tits out, and my breasts are illuminated by the headlights of all the other cars I'm doing stuff.

And this guy is walking past and he's just like, oh, my God. And he gets to the Preston markets and goes, five cougars, thanks. Yeah. Would you like chicken breasts or chicken thighs? Yes, yeah. And a few melons if you've got them as well. Yeah, and some cold water if you don't mind. Yeah, yeah.

Anyone got a ciggy? I bloody need one after that. So does this person think that a stranger has gone, show us your tits, and you've gone, you know what? Fucking bring it. Who am I to turn down a request from a young gentleman? Another citizen of the world. Yeah.

Yeah, I don't know. Me too. And you're like, fuck off, you pervert. Yeah, don of the world. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe he tried on. Me too. And you're like, fuck off, you pervert. Yeah, don't be disgusting. Yeah. So literally, full tits out. A flasher. Yeah.

I could go to prison for that. Could you? I don't know. Indecent exposure. That'll be a night in the drunk tank or something, surely. Yeah, you get four hours in the tent. Yeah. But, and then literally, so.

Tony Lodge. Because we just, and then, yeah, this guy's walking past and I was like. Copped a fucking eyeful of Lodge. Yeah. Wow. Having all his Christmases just come at once. Something will be coming. Yeah.

That's for sure. But it was so funny. Like it was so fucking funny. Run me through. Like obviously the thrill of flashing your boobs is just a wild time. That's pretty crazy. For Tony Lodge, that's crazy. For anyone, that's wild.

Yeah, fair. You know when Colin from Accounts and she flashes her teeth. And then a fucking dog cops it. So I was like, who did you kill? Yeah. Because I've seen Colin from Accounts. Run me through the exact moment that you'd, like, it had just become aware

that Torbs wasn't the only one that copped an eye for the lodge. How did it hit you? So I've got my jumper up like this and Torbs is like on the right and so I'm like, you said it as a joke and now I'm doing it. And then I realised the guy's walking across and I'm like. doing it and then i realized the guy's walking across and i'm like but tobs and i are laughing because like as if i got my tits out yeah how funny is that yeah i'm free with my body yeah um and then we realize and then tobs is like throwing up when he realizes that the guy has definitely seen my boobs at the thing. Does he acknowledge the guy?

No, he was just losing at laughing. He put his wind down and go, I'm hitting that. But like because the pedestrian thing was going across, our light was red. So I couldn't even like escape. Like I'm sat there at this red light waiting for the light to go green and trying to like collect my thoughts. Did you make eye contact with the person crossing the line? A hundred percent.

And did you give him- Fucking straight in. By all four. Yeah, were you- Six. I've got glasses. Were you, again, the shocked face or do you just try to own it at that stage? Like do you look at him and go, yeah, dog.

Well, I probably looked like I was really proud because I was proud of the joke and you should be like i was proud of being like i've done it how crazy and i was just like frozen the irony that you look like a deer in the headlights um yeah do you know what's not flattering though seat belt so because you're kind of doing this but i've the. Oh, but if the seat belt goes through the cleavage, it pulls down, which pops them up. Pops them up. Yeah.

It just creates a bit of. I'm not sure. I didn't see it. No. Well, he did. He saw all of it. And he's thinking about it every night. Yeah.

And we were just fucking losing it. Like fucking so funny. If we were on commercial radio, we'd be like, if that was you, 13, 24, 10. Yeah. If you saw Tony's boobs at the intersection at the Preston Market. Surely there's a Preston Market Facebook group that has all the goss about, oh, did anyone see this blue car parked over the line? There definitely is.

There definitely is that group. Can we post an anger? I won't out you, but I'll just be like, oh, hi, anonymous post. Did anyone- Ryan, John. Yeah. Did anyone see a female flasher in the last few weeks? And how was it?

Yeah. And did seatbelts enhance or decline the experience? And which one was bigger? Because we know. Yeah. But we want to know what you reckon. Yeah. Oh, that's so good.

So aside from my boobs, have you got a you love to see it? Well, nothing I love to see more than your boobs, actually. That's really sweet of you. As soon as you said I was wearing a hoodie and it was late at night and I was like, there's no chance you're wearing a bra. No, if I can buy it. I know Tony Lodge. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I know your bras. They're not mates after 5 p.m. No, no, no, no. wearing a bra. I know Tony Lodge. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I know your bras. They're not mates after 5pm. No, no, no, no. But also, luckily I wasn't wearing my nightie or the man would have gotten boobs and bush. Yeah, but at least the bush is below the steering wheel. True. Would have been blocked off.

I don't know how you drive. Yeah. I was on my bike. Yeah. I wasn't in the car. Did you see on the weekend? I feel like there's one of these every year. It's like the annual nude bike ride. It's like a charity thing. Oh. And they're like going in the car. Did you see on the weekend? I feel like there's one of these every year. It's like the annual nude bike ride.

It's like a charity thing. And they're like going through the streets. I think it's a London thing or a Europe thing. There's them everywhere. Everywhere, yeah. Love that. Yeah, love the concept. Wouldn't you like jangler get?

The logistics. I mean, yours wouldn't, but. No, I'd be fine. Some people would be. But like, it's just, it's so uncomfortable. And like, do you wipe your seat down? You know what I mean? Yeah. Sorry, I brought that you wipe your seat down? You know what I mean? Yeah.

Sorry, I brought that up. God, from an innocent story about my boobs to this. Yeah, well, innocence, throw it out the window, which is ironically what I said to Tony the night I met her. This is one of the great fucking tweet photos oh amazing i'll tell you what i love what genre of comedy i love online is dad's naming boats here's my top two one dad's naming boats hilarious others it's just like old school like yearbook photos oh yeah it like a funny quote or something? I'm texting the team. All right.

It says, her parents ask, what are your intentions with our daughter? And the name in the yearbook is Barry McCockenough. There's nothing funnier than that. Actually, I pissed when I saw that We love a name pun What are your intentions my daughter? Hell and back I'm just going to bury my cock in her

That's what you said At my mum's grave What? You said it to my mum But you didn't because the whole time we've known each other She's been dead On her deathbed she was like Ryan can you just do me one favour You said it to my mum, but you didn't because the whole time we've known each other, she's been dead. I know.

It was like on her deathbed, she was like, Ryan, can you just do me one favour? Ryan. I need you to do something for me with Tony. Yeah. And I said, what is it? And then she died and I was like, I assume you were going to say bury your cock in it. Oh, sorry.

May she rest in peace. Sorry, I'm very sexually open right now because of the don't say open sorry that's fucking amazing that deserves an award what do you love to say um so ryan you've talked about um well actually no we're a big fan of on this podcast of starting the fucking blog yep and um we just love to do stuff yeah and as personally, I'm a fan of like just doing the fuck out of things and trying lots of random things. What have you done? What have you done?

No. What have you done? No, no, no. Calm down. You have mentioned a few times about getting a basketball ring for our office. Get the fuck out. Get the fuck out.

Well, no, there's no basketball. I know a guy with a crane. Well, no, there's no basketball. I know a guy with a crane. Well, great. Okay, well, we'll need him because I've got something here for you that will, like, spur you into the next motion of getting a basketball ring. Here you go. So you didn't get me a basketball ring? No, there's no basketball ring.

I already said that. Jeez, you fucking got me all jazzed up. But this is the permission for the basketball ring. Holy fuck. We. That is sick. Who did this? I did.

On the cricket? No. Oh, sorry. No, we got it. It was made. Who did this? I did. I thought you meant like who organized this.

For those of you not watching, I've got a brand new Spalding basketball. Talk into the microphone. A brand new Spalding basketball. And as the microphone. A brand new Spalding basketball. And as it's got the Spalding branding, it's got the type of ball, the layup TF50, whatever that means. And then it's got the Tony and Ryan silhouettes and Tony and Ryan branding on it. It's like our own ball.

Yeah. So I can't wait. I assume the ring is going to be delivered? Well, so I did look into getting a ring and there's so many different yeah types sophie and i were really busy one day and we're going through the options and but there's like different heights and i didn't know where you actually wanted it so i thought we can after this we can sit down and figure out what actual ring you want to get but this is like hopefully spurs you in motion of ordering it

because I know you really want it. Start the fucking blog. Yeah. Good call on the backboard. I feel like it can't be full height because, yeah. Yeah. But that's why it'll be fun because then we can like do fun shit and Duncan shit.

But I think like we'll figure it out. We'll figure it out. That is such a sweet, thoughtful gift. We didn't want to order the basketball ring because I didn't want to get the wrong one. I didn't fucking whatever. Anyway, but start the fucking blog, get the fucking basketball ring. Have a fucking look at that.

Yeah, pretty cool. Imagine taking that down to the court. Oh, whose ball is that? Yeah, it's fucking mine. Like no one would be able to piff that from you because fucking. Is it a little self-indulgent at the local hoops? It might be. Do you get street cred with the lads?

Probably not. Yeah. I wouldn't take that down to Brunswick. No. Yeah. Shooting at Barkley Street. Yeah. But do you like it?

It's sick. Thank you very much. You're welcome. Yeah. That is sick. This is the best round thing I've seen since I was crossing the street at the Preston Mall. With your car.

Next week on the show yeah I mentioned yesterday but some taffas have been chased by animals and it is the most hilarious thing you'll hear turkey journey next week a turkey journey and we're also movie marathoning next weekend as well for those who are coming fuck yeah well everybody that's coming

knows now I would have found out yesterday so love y'all love ya bye Movie marathoning next weekend as well for those who are coming. Fuck yeah. Well, everybody that's coming knows now. I would have found out yesterday. Love y'all. Love y'all. Bye.