Toni and Ryan - A Warm and Welcoming Oesophagus

Episode Date: December 1, 2024

WE MAYBE SHOULD HAVE STOPPED RECORDING LOL love u xoxooxCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and ...@ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 G'day Canada! Or how would you say hello Canada? Bonjour Canada! Not what I was expecting! Hello Canada! Also not that, Oxio is an innovative Canadian internet provider with fair prices and no surprises. Unlike Tony, she's full of them. They have prices that actually stay the same as long as you stay with them.
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Starting point is 00:01:31 Subscribe now using the code FizzC and get 10 gigs of data at 25 bucks. Switch to Fizz today. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. Now, Tony is from Perth. I am. I've spent a lot of time in Perth and Western Australia. Yep. And inside someone from Perth, so... Sorry. Let me tell you, educating the rest of the world, there's a town called Tom Price, which is in the outback of the outback of the outback in the middle of fucking nowhere. It's not that far away from Perth, but it feels that world away. I actually think it's one of those places where it's recorded the highest temperature,
Starting point is 00:02:07 like as it's just the hottest, stinkiest place. And a lot of people live there for like fly in, fly out or drive in, drive out. For mining. For mining and like rusted work and stuff. And we're about to call Mel. And, uh. Let's call Mel and she's originally from Canada. The move from Canada.
Starting point is 00:02:26 The move from Canada to Tom Price is diabolical. The phone's probably melted. It's so hot in Tom Price. It probably, yeah, I do. Oh my God. I can't believe I'm talking to Tony and Ryan. We can't believe we're talking to Mallory from Newfoundland, but also Tom Price. Yeah. A wild contrast of places to be from. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:54 We were just discussing that. Um, why did you decide to do the worst thing that you could do? It was actually the best thing. We love it there, but we work in mining. Yeah. So it works and you probably make a jillion dollars a fucking day. And yeah. We love it there, but we work in mining. Yeah. So it works and you probably make a million dollars a fucking day and yeah, I love it for you.
Starting point is 00:03:09 It's not bad. Someone must have a soda stream at home. Other sounds of things. Nailed her in very well. Listen, I am not Tony lodge level. Okay. Okay. Can't be all affording soda streams.
Starting point is 00:03:23 Yeah. I've just got one in every room. I've got that many soda streams. I just put it right up my bum. Tony's soda stream has a soda stream. Pippa has a soda stream. I haven't had a soda stream. Have you guys been to Tom Franks?
Starting point is 00:03:40 I have, yeah. When I was a kid, like, yeah, long ago, like I think my dad was going there for work or something and we went up there, yeah. When I was a kid, like, yeah, long ago, like I think my dad was going there for work or something and we went up there, yeah. Far out. I don't really remember. Is it nice or is it just you there for work, you get the job done and you head back to Perth?
Starting point is 00:03:54 No, it's nice. Like we live there. There's houses and stuff there. We don't do FIFO. But it's hot. Yeah. Hot. And there's flies. Is there a beach there or is it inland?
Starting point is 00:04:07 No, no, Tony, there's no beach in Tartarus. Will you approve today's podcast? Ooh, yes, I will. Sorry, I forgot we were working. Hey, it's Mal. I'm the Canadian living in the Pilbara and I approve this podcast. Welcome to the show. Welcome to a brand new week.
Starting point is 00:04:36 We're all just sitting here discussing whether we should do this episode or not, because some fucking freaky shit's going on in the studio. Sometimes it's a bit cheesy. Sophie has just given a recommendation. She goes, Tony, you just need to chill out. I reckon you should put some ice cubes in a glass of white wine and sit under an air conditioner. And we just went, and then she said, sorry, I'm from Queensland. Like that's an excuse.
Starting point is 00:05:00 Ice cubes in wine. I will say some wines are meant to be served chilled. No then it's chilled. Yes. With ice in them. No, I'm really trying. I know you are, but don't try for that. I mean that's statement.
Starting point is 00:05:16 Don't call Sophie that. No, that's statement. Don't call Sophie that. It's a wet heat up there. A wet heat. Oh, that is a, would be a good time. Then put the wine in the fridge or just drink it fast. I don't like ice cubes from a sensory perspective because you know, when you take a sip and they
Starting point is 00:05:33 like hit your teeth. Yeah. Or when you're really thirsty and they get in the way. I'm trying to gulp. I love a gulp. I'm trying to gulp it down and this stuff hit me in the teeth. Do you know what I think is a little swallowed an ice cube once when I was trying to scull a Fanta. I don't like a full ice cube.
Starting point is 00:05:54 I took it down and it was so cold. Were you at a fucking school disco? Yeah. Like when were you sculling a Fanta? I think I was by the pool at the Ocean Blue Resort. And because they had the thing where you like push the thing in and go, yeah, yeah. And I'm so thirsty and I like sucked down whole a whole ice cream. That is horrifying.
Starting point is 00:06:15 And it was cold inside of me, just like squealing around. It was terrifying. And only choked. Yeah, that's all. If it wasn't for my esophagus being so warm and welcoming, because that's what it would have stayed cold and like got stuck, but because my oesophagus warmed it, it melted it down. Welcome to the show. I think we should push on.
Starting point is 00:06:36 Are we going to do a show today? Yes. I think that you... Are you going to tell me that you don't... Describing your oesophagus as warm and welcoming. That's what the guy might just be the strangest and funniest thing that I've ever heard. Um, and I really, really liked it.
Starting point is 00:07:03 Um, any feedback? I don't know that that needs any feedback. I would like to yes. And what we're saying about the ice, though, when people crunch ice with their teeth, it makes me physically ill. I agree though. I hate it. But I do it to get rid of the ice.
Starting point is 00:07:23 I know. You know what I mean? I do actually know what you're saying, but I fucking hate it. Yeah. And do you know the way that people do it? And they go like, and it's like little chippy. Yeah. It's like, and they're like grinding in their teeth.
Starting point is 00:07:37 And Sophie's making that fucking noise. And I fucking know that it fucking means that she fucking does that with her fucking wine and her fucking eyes. And she's chomping away on that. Is that correct? Let's just say it's good that I have this information now. Yeah. Like if you don't know what you don't know, I mean, now we know what Tony does and doesn't like, and we can, uh, implement those, uh, features
Starting point is 00:07:58 into the future. And we also know that Ryan has a warm, welcoming esophagus, which is just beautiful and boys to come on over this weekend. It's Monday. Um, well, though I would like to celebrate, I would like to start the show with you love to say it. Happy first day of Christmas for the podcast because it's December. Welcome. It's December. And it means that like people should have put up their tree yesterday.
Starting point is 00:08:24 People coming home from Thanksgiving yesterday. Oh, sorry. I've been thinking about- Oh, you've started burping. That means the show's over. Oh, then you guys know me. No, it's my warm esophagus. It's bubbling.
Starting point is 00:08:33 Yeah. You're a Nazi. I don't like it in that way. Okay. I don't like it when you say it in that context. Okay. Well, let's fucking push on before we get even worse. Happy first day of Christmas.
Starting point is 00:08:41 Happy first day of Christmas. Yeah. For the podcast. For the podcast. Technically yesterday. in that context. Well, let's fucking push on before we get even worse. Um, happy first day of Christmas. Happy first day of Christmas. Yeah. For the podcast. For the podcast.
Starting point is 00:08:48 Technically yesterday. Um, coming up, Tapa Dave has a warning for people with Christmas trees. And because a lot of people in theory put theirs up yesterday. Should have. That is the day to do it. It's a very timely warning because if you're going to make this mistake, you'd be making it in the next few days. Well, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:09:12 You will be making it in the next few days. I see what you're saying. Okay. Ooh, I like that. But first, what can't you do at 30 years old that you probably should be able to do? And I think this came about, well, for many reasons, but also the amount of online bullying I've received for not being able to use chopsticks has been
Starting point is 00:09:29 like pretty severe. Um, I think that that's fair. Sometimes bullying is good. No one save that off. I'm just like, do you know what I mean? Okay. What if I read these and we decide if they should be bullied for it? Oh no, maybe we should take the word bullying out of it.
Starting point is 00:09:48 What would you like to replace with harassed? No. But like, what should you be able to do? Maybe we can come in on- Can we laugh at this? Yes. Great. Or do we laugh or do we sympathize?
Starting point is 00:09:58 Yes. Good. Because I think I am, I don't know what these are that you've prepared. I'm worried that there's going to be a lot of things on that list that I can't fucking do. Oh, no, I think you're better than these people. I actually these beautiful tarpas. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:10:12 Let's find out. Kylie Clemens. I'm 45 years old and I can't go in the ocean past my knees because I've watched the movie Jaws. Oh, I think that's fair. Okay. I don't, girl. I saw. But I think that people having a fear is different to not being able to do something. Yeah. Okay. Like not, not taking the time to learn something simple is different to being like, oh, I'm
Starting point is 00:10:36 scared of the ocean. I think that's fair enough. It's big. Jenna's brother is a big fan of the ocean. I think that's fair enough. I think that's fair enough. I think that's fair enough. I think that's fair enough. I think that like, Oh, I'm scared of the ocean.
Starting point is 00:10:47 I think that's fair enough. It's big. Jenna's brother has got one here. Josiah Otago says I'm 33 and I tie my shoes using the bunny ears method. What's that? Like when you get the two bunny ears and you. I don't know what that is. What shoes are you wearing now? bunny ears and you're. I don't know what that is. What shoes are you wearing now?
Starting point is 00:11:07 I'm wearing sandals. How do you tie your shoes? Ah. If you sing a song right now. No, no, no, I don't. I don't know. I just do it. Do you have, do you have some laces there? Yep. Sorry, asking you have some laces there? Yep. Sorry. Asking you to de-robe.
Starting point is 00:11:27 Um, okay. So I would go. Yeah, I'd say that's regular non. Yeah. That's, yeah, that's fine. I don't have a song or anything. What's the bunny ears? The bunny ears is when you go like, there's a bunny ear and there's a bunny ear.
Starting point is 00:11:46 There's two bunnies. And then you go like that. Couple of little bunnies. Fuck that's stupid. Which is eyes 33. I hate that. I don't, I don't get it at all. So why that's different to how I do it.
Starting point is 00:12:05 Cause that's the kid's version. Oh, okay. That's like how you teach a kid how to do it. My mum never did that. I just had to, I'd learn on the streets. I went to the school of hard knocks. So I didn't, I didn't learn none of that. Ruhan Labashane.
Starting point is 00:12:22 Hello. I'm 37 and I can't spell my last name. I have to sound it out. I love that Ruhaan. Yeah. Lodge is tough sometimes too. Yeah. It's hard.
Starting point is 00:12:39 Uh, Stevie Woodbury. Hi, Stevie. I'm 31 and I can't tell the time on an analog clock. Stevie, who the fuck can? I'm with you, Stevie. I'm 31 and I can't tell the time on an analog clock. Stevie, who the fuck can? I'm with you, bro. I can't. This sounds silly. Let me explain.
Starting point is 00:12:51 If you say digital clock, I can't. What do you mean? It says the... No, I know. It's not about knowing the time. It's about visualizing the time. And so when I just see the numbers, it doesn't really mean anything to me because I'm like, Oh, when I look at a clock and it says like, say
Starting point is 00:13:12 it says 20 to eight, you can see the 20. Well it wouldn't say 20 to eight. It would say. What do you mean? A digital clock. No, no, no. So I'm saying when you look at it, and the time is what would be 740, you see it as 20 to eight and you can see the 20. Yeah. So I think visually seeing the time left for me is like, and I don't know if that,
Starting point is 00:13:37 what that means. When you say digital, you kind of like can't place it. Yeah. Gotcha. So seeing 740, I'm like, I know what that means. Yeah. But I can't place it. Yeah. Gotcha. So seeing 740, I'm like, I know what that means, but I can't see it. Right. So I don't know, I don't know if that's a thing or if anybody else has ever experienced that, but like seeing the numbers of the time doesn't mean anything
Starting point is 00:13:58 to me the way that like seeing an analog, like I would much prefer looking at a watch, like even my Apple watch, I have set to a clock face because I hate just seeing the numbers. I'm no good at the clocks. Cause I look at the hands and go, Oh, fuck now. What do I do? Like, it's like a maths equation. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:14 Oh, so I think like, I just learned how to tell the time real young and I always wore a watch. So I guess that's like, yeah, just really smart. What's something you can't do? I can never, ever remember ever how to boil an egg. And I know that that sounds really, but I'm like, do you boil it? But do you have the water boiling before you put the egg in? And how long do you leave it in for?
Starting point is 00:14:44 Because I like my boiled eggs, like very, I have like a way that I really Do you have the water boiling before you put the egg in and how long do you leave it in for? Because I like my boiled eggs, like very, I have like a way that I really like them. And, but you don't know what that way is. But I can never remember how to get them. It's like you chasing that first high. I made them real good one time and I don't know how I did it. But I can never remember whether you put the eggs in first until it boils and then start the timer. Or if you put your egg in when the water's boiling and then the timer starts, you know?
Starting point is 00:15:13 Yeah. Like, and I have to Google it every single time. And I do have another one that I can't physically watch a movie without a little snack. So that's something I can't do. a movie without a little snack. So that's something I can't do. Like a medical condition? Medically. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:31 A witch put a curse on me that I have to have a little snack while I watch a film. Finally, just got one here from Monique Hodge. Tony Lodge, Monique Hodge. Hi, Monique. Oh, Tony Lodge, Monique Hodge. That's good. Now, I don't know if Monique is the fuckhead. Okay. Or if we are all Monique. Oh, okay. Yep.
Starting point is 00:15:57 I'm 32 and I've only just realized what people mean when they say, huh, it's always the last place you look. Yeah. So when you're looking for something. And I've only just realized what people mean when they say, huh, it's always the last place you look. People. Yeah. So when you're looking for something. Yeah. And then you go and then you finally find it and you go off. So it's the last place you look. What does that mean?
Starting point is 00:16:18 Because Medig's only just figured it out. Like how it always takes ages to find something. Like when you're looking for something, it's like, you're like, Oh my God, like I can't find this thing and it takes ages. And then you find it. Yeah. People go, Oh, always the last place you look. To be fair, Monique is 32 and you've only just turned 31.
Starting point is 00:16:42 So yeah, she's had a bit more time. I don't get it. I just spin around bit more time. I don't get it. An extra spin around the sun. I don't get it. Like whenever you're looking at, like you go, oh my God, where's my phone? And then you like look all over the house. And it's like, oh, it's always the last place that you think it'll be. Okay. Why is it always the last place you look?
Starting point is 00:17:12 Cause like it's the place that you least expect. Like, oh, that is just the last place I would look. I don't think that's what it means. What does it mean then? But why is it the last place I would look. I don't think that's what it means. What does it mean then? But why is it the last place you look though? Cause you least expect it. Cause like, Oh my God, that is the last place that I would have looked for that. Yeah, but why is it the last place? Because it's not where you expected it to be.
Starting point is 00:17:43 last place because it's not where you expected it to be. I'm getting mad. Yeah. So that's a great reason why it's a place you like didn't expect. Yeah. But why is it the last place you look? I'm trying to look into your eyes and do like best friend telepathy so that I can figure out what I'm missing. Why wouldn't it be the second last place you looked? Why would you keep looking? So in theory, it's always the last place you look because you're not going to go.
Starting point is 00:18:29 There's my phone. Oh, look over there. Oh, Manik, you got a lift. Get together, Manik. You're 32 years old. You dumb bitch! Hey, it's Mal from Western Australia and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. This episode is brought to you by Audible, which is awesome because this year I've become obsessed with audiobooks. I'm absolutely loving it.
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Starting point is 00:20:10 imagine when you listen. Listen now at audible.ca slash best of the year. Today's episode is brought to you by Cozy, the Canadian furniture company that brings adaptable, high quality furniture to everyday living spaces. And probably everybody that's listening is thinking, oh, how can I up the ante in my home? The whole family's coming around for Christmas. I've got people coming in. People are dropping in for a holiday party. And Cozy has matched their top products
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Starting point is 00:20:58 That sounds delicious. Now it's really easy to move and grow into new spaces and stuff like that with cozy because everything comes in boxes. So it's easy easy to move and grow into new spaces and stuff like that with Cozy because everything comes in boxes so it's easy to go upstairs so you're not having to lug stuff around and it's really tricky and that's just a real punish. Wevbo lived in apartments and that is yeah up those stairs, no thank you. Yeah and if you're an impulse passionate buyer maybe like a young Tony Lodge. Who? Cosy ships in two to five days. So if you get that idea and you want that instant gratification, mate,
Starting point is 00:21:29 it can be here next week. And that's a bit of me. Cause I go, oh, wouldn't that chair be amazing? It's here. It's in your house. Two to five days, easy to assemble, giving you time to actually enjoy the holidays instead of sitting around for three months
Starting point is 00:21:41 waiting for a chair. Hoping that it rocks up. And then you got to carry it upstairs. It's modern living made simple for you. Transform your living space today with Cozy. Visit Cozy.ca spelled C-O-Z-E-Y to start customising your furniture. Did that pizza chat happen on the show? Because I just want everyone to know that we just ordered pizza. There's a Hawaiian and a pizza on the way. We got some Hawaiian and some chicken bits coming.
Starting point is 00:22:20 Earlier, we did say, should we push on today? And we went, of course. The answer maybe should have been no. No, we love it. We love it. Big shout out to a few of our champion topers who are literally keeping the lights on. And the podcast going, Stephanie, good on you, Steph.
Starting point is 00:22:36 Buying Dominoes. Ivy Lugo, absolutely love you Ivy. Jocelyn Patrick, Catherine Andrews, Izzy, Lauren Murray. Izzy? Izzy? Izzy Lauren Murray, Izzy, Lauren, Murray, Izzy, Lauren, Murray, Izzy, Good on you, Lauren, Murray, good on you and Cape Hills. I cannot look at the name Murray without thinking about tires and tie because it is keeping me going.
Starting point is 00:22:59 Do you know the other day? Why was it with Murray? Do you remember when we were talking about the tire place? Yeah, no, I'm aware of that, but I don't know what that's got to do with my. So someone had commented and been like, and you were like, Oh, blah Murray. Someone said this and I was like Murray. And you were like, and I was like, that's just such a funny name. And you were like, nah, my maths teachers called Murray.
Starting point is 00:23:22 I saw him the other day at the top. I think you're thinking of Mr. Pringle. Yeah. But we started that by talking about Murray, didn't we? Murray submitted the Nomel or Nah. About calling a teacher by their first name and it was Mr. Springle. Pringle.
Starting point is 00:23:36 Pringle. With Mrs. Bergering. See, I knew that. Fuck, I'm funny. All right. Good on ya. What are we? Tapa Dan? Tap a Dave. Dave has a warning for everyone who has put up a Christmas tree.
Starting point is 00:23:47 Which should be everybody because December 1st has already happened. I will die on this fucking hill. The Lord wants us to put up our trees on the 1st of December. That's why she put it on a Sunday this year. I said, she it's edgy. That's why she put it on a Sunday this year. I said, she, it's edgy. That's very edgy. It's very 2024.
Starting point is 00:24:11 It's very 2025. It's fucking 2026. February. Perfect February. Tapa Dave. Hi, Dave. I was really proud of how I decorated my Christmas tree. That's beautiful. Dave.
Starting point is 00:24:26 It is the best day of the year. Dave lives by himself and he put it together and just went, I've nailed this. I'm proud of that. I'm going to take some photos and pop them online and get in the Christmas spirit and just show off. Especially because there's no one else in the house to kind of like give him a gas up.
Starting point is 00:24:42 So he's just nailed it and he's going to put some photos online. I think that that is really beautiful. It is. I love putting up a Christmas tree. It was a really big day for our family as a, as a kid. It was like first of December. Mum would like cook a big dinner. We'd do the Christmas tree. She'd put on a Christmas album and it would just be really nice.
Starting point is 00:25:01 And like, you know, we'd all be fighting over what baubles we wanted to put on. But at the end of when the tree was up, we'd walk across the road, turn all the lights on, walk across the road and look at the tree through the front. We go back at it. Yeah. From across the street. So it would be like the people's POV, you know? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:16 Um, and so for me, I agree, like you put that tree up and you want to enjoy it and you want other people to, you want to spread that joy. Absolutely love it, Dave. We're on the same page. There was one specific ornament that was just heaven. Oh, you know, the, yeah, the hero, they're all good, but there's some that are more, you know, I think that depends on your theme. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:40 However, I get it. So I took a photo of it, shared it online as like a carousel. Here's the big tree and here's a close up of the beautiful ornament. Oh, I love that so much. I posted it sharing that Christmas joy. That is beautiful. A friend texted me saying, have you looked closely at that bauble picture? What is a feature of the bauble?
Starting point is 00:26:06 Um, ribbon at the top, beautiful ribbon at the top sometimes. Sometimes I've got like a little message, like a glitter message. What's the- Like a glass bauble. Yeah. What's the- Oh, that's what I want. Cock reflection in the bauble. You could see my entire naked body in the reflection of in the bauble. You could see my entire naked body
Starting point is 00:26:26 in the reflection of the Christmas bauble. I was showing a lot of people my Christmas bauble, says Dave. And so I was spreading a lot more than Christmas joy. So just a little bit of a word of warning for, cause he lives alone, he's just doing his thing. To share in the thing. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:45 You know. I will, I consider that a huge disrespect to the Christmas tree. I would say like as a Christmas purist, I would never be naked around my Christmas tree. You've never let your Christmas tree say you naked? I haven't seen that Bush's Bush. I don't think it needs to say mine. Would it be sacrilege for a young couple in their first time to be doing the hippity dippity on the couch when the Christmas trees in the room?
Starting point is 00:27:09 No, I think that's okay. But I don't, I don't think that you can, I think that's fine. Uh, but I don't think you can be tending to your tree naked. I think it deserves more than that. I think it deserves a fun little Christmas t-shirt, maybe a little bell earring, something like that. Just to speak from my own human perspective. That's what I believe it deserves.
Starting point is 00:27:28 I would never want this show to get too graphic or vulgar. I shat in a Coles. There's not many places I haven't shat. That's actually so true. If you were naked, keeping in mind the shape of a Christmas tree. Yeah. If you were like leaning to get something at the top. Oh, poke your right in the fanny.
Starting point is 00:27:53 It'd give you a little tickle, wouldn't it? The fronds. Yeah. The what? The fronds. What's the fronds? Like the fronds of the tree. Oh, I thought you meant like the thongs.
Starting point is 00:28:01 Like the branches. That's not a word. The fronds. Are you thinking of branches? Oh, the frond? I thought you meant like the Fonz. Like the branches. That's not a word. The Frons. Are you thinking of branches? Like a Frond? Like a Frond. You've just made up a word.
Starting point is 00:28:14 No! Like a Frond. I don't think you can say that unless you're from the small town of Fronds too. Frond. Oh my God! Are they on the back of the Frond? Are you a good Frond. Oh my God. Are they on the back of the frond? Are you a good frond to me? You're my best frond. Well Dave's been frond in the frond.
Starting point is 00:28:37 And fronds with benefits. All right, let's do we love to see it. And there's just the word of warning. Oh, I could have probably kept going on those puns. Yeah. Okay. I know that's, I could take a minute. I do have a Christmas related, you love to see it.
Starting point is 00:28:53 I think it's the perfect time to share this. Kieran Yates, who is an avid tarpa, posted this into our Facebook group recently. And the post says, Christmas shopping request. Do any tarpas have any side hustles or small businesses like crafting or Etsy stores or anything like that that I could peruse whilst doing my Christmas shopping? Great call. Kieran says, I'd much rather put my money
Starting point is 00:29:18 into the tarp economy. Great, love to see it. And so a bunch of people have gone into that thread and shared their small businesses. And because there are tarpas all around the world, obviously a lot of places you can buy online, but people are also sharing like, oh, I'm in Arizona and I sell this and things like that. So you might even find a local tarpa. Love the term tarpa economy, by the way. That's one of my favorites. local tarpa. Love the term tarp economy, by the way. It's absolutely amazing. But so if you search in our Facebook group, Kieran Yates, you can search his name and it will come up.
Starting point is 00:29:52 But yeah, and get some inspo because it's almost too late almost to do Christmas shopping. I wouldn't be leaving at this late. I never do. It's the second of December. Oh mate. Where have you been? You think you're ordering something online that's coming before Christmas. Fuck, you got another thing coming, my friend. My friend. Do you know, usually on the 24th of December, I'll just get up really early.
Starting point is 00:30:16 Hey, listen to me, friend. I can't look at you. I get up really... I actually can't look at you while you save the... I'll face towards you, but my hand is up. If you say, speak to the hand because the face ain't listening. I'll be devastated. I will never come back from that. No and you can't.
Starting point is 00:30:35 I get up early on the 24th of December and go, mom, dad, bridge, this year Mabes, what food do I also need? Go and do all my presents and food shopping. Just knock it all out in one foul swoop. Get in early, get it done, get out. Get in early, like in November. And food, you can't be leaving that till the 24th. Yeah, because if you get it early, it'll be off. Do you remember that time?
Starting point is 00:31:04 Are you going down there to pick up an order at the butcher or something? Do you remember that time I went to the supermarket on the Christmas morning to buy a turkey? They laugh you out of there. Have I talked to that, Soph? We bought a turkey on Christmas day and it was frozen and I didn't realize. And so they couldn't fucking... And I didn't realize. And so they couldn't fucking... Yeah. Sorry, that's so... Oh, we're off the rails here.
Starting point is 00:31:29 I think... I've got a tarpa economy story real quick. Remember how, sorry, I'm gonna sneeze again. Ah! I nearly shat because my whole body like did a thing. I'm nervous. Remember how I got us those Farmers Pick fruits, the cherries?
Starting point is 00:31:47 Yes. They're tarpers. Yeah, are they? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Farmers Pick.com.au Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. So they love the show.
Starting point is 00:31:54 And so we've like done it. Like, I don't get stuff early, but our family has done us, and by that I mean my wife, has done a sweet haul. So yeah, they're tarpers. They love it. Oh, I will order stuff from there as well.. So yeah, they're tarpers. They love it. Oh, I will order stuff from there as well.
Starting point is 00:32:06 I didn't realize I was tarpers. Yeah, absolutely. I've got to love to see it. And now this is from a few weeks ago, but bear with me because it's fucking sick. Okay. So in the UK, they have like Sunday league, which is basically like dad bods and old blokes
Starting point is 00:32:20 playing soccer on a Sunday. Oh, sick. Just like a social league, how we in Australia, Australia is like more of a midweek netball kind of energy. Yeah, or AFL on a Sunday. Oh sick. Just like a social league, how we in Australia, Australia is like more of a midweek netball kind of energy. Yeah, or AFL on a Saturday morning or something. Yeah, and in Canada, beer league is like, they turn up and play a little bit of ice hockey,
Starting point is 00:32:37 but then, you know, it's kind of just an excuse to have a few beers after. It's a bit like pub footy in Melbourne, how they have the, yeah. So this team said, oh, our goalie's out of town on work. Can someone come down and join our beer league team and play goalie and you know. We just need a fill in for the weekend.
Starting point is 00:32:54 Yep, a couple of Ails afterwards. It's a good time. Ails. We're in the lowest division. It's very social and all good. Yeah, I like that. So do you not have to be good to do it? No, and that's the whole point. So that's the thing be good to do it? Nah, and that's the whole point.
Starting point is 00:33:05 So that's the thing I think that, you know, when I thought about joining a sport team, I'm like... No, that's why the mixed netball on a, yeah, that's, it's usually pretty chill. Yeah, okay. Although if you're in the top one, sometimes they do take it a bit seriously. Sometimes they get a bit serious and I just don't want to get yelled at for like wearing the wrong socks or something. I don't think it's ever happened in the history of mixed netball.
Starting point is 00:33:25 So I'd well as a kid at netball, you would like you had to wear, they had to be white socks. You couldn't and your fingers had to. You've got some bad juju vibes in that body. No, 100%. Yeah. Cause I just playing sport as a kid anyway. So this guy, Robert and sorry if I pronounced his last name, Roberto Lungo. He actually played 19 seasons in the NHL, a professional goalie.
Starting point is 00:33:49 Just saw the ad on Facebook went, yeah, boys, what time? And they go, yeah, 730 tonight. And he goes, great. And so this guy's been. He goes, I'll bring my own gear. Yeah. Rolled in, played a great game and everyone was like, sick. We're actually, we're hanging out with a professional hockey player.
Starting point is 00:34:06 He's hanging out. He stayed for beers after and just like, Oh boys, couldn't leave you hanging. And you needed a goalie. So all good. That is so cool. And there he is. His old dog just rolls in. Oh, good on you Roberto.
Starting point is 00:34:15 Yeah. What a ma- isn't that just like such good energy? I love that. Goalie needed. Add on Facebook. I absolutely love that. That is so fun. Yeah. I love that. Oh, good on ya. Yeah. I absolutely love that. That is so fun. Yeah, I love that.
Starting point is 00:34:27 Oh, good on ya. Yeah, so I love to see it. That's sick. I love to see that too. Now, what I love to see also is where's the pizza at? Yeah. Pop in a call to them. Thank you very much for listening. Sorry we went a bit off the rails, but we love you so much and we'll be back tomorrow. Should have done that thing where you press it and then you like it's free if it's more than 20 minutes.
Starting point is 00:34:49 Are you desperate? No, but it's just fun to watch the GPS tracker. I actually totally agree. It's quite a thrill, isn't it? We need to get out more. Love you so much. Love you. Bye.
Starting point is 00:34:58 Sorry about everything. See you tomorrow. Especially this. People love it. Love you, tarpas. Muah muah muah. Especially this. People love it. Love you, tarpas. Mwah mwah mwah. Mwah. This episode is brought to you by Audible, which is awesome because this year I've become
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