Toni and Ryan - A warning for printer owners

Episode Date: July 6, 2022

A PSA for printer owners - a terrible thing you need to avoid!!! Plus I rap a wrap-up of the movie Twister! Love ya! T x Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello? Hey, is that Tanya? Yes, it is. Hey, it's Tony and Ryan. How are you doing? Oh, my gosh. I'm good. How are you?

Were you not expecting our call? Are we interrupting something? I thought this was happening next week. It's now, babe. Yeah. Will you approve this podcast? Well, of course I will. She's like, I'd only plan to do it next week, so now's not good for me.

Hey, it's Tanya from Perth, and I approve this podcast. Hey, love ya. Love ya. Love ya. Do you want to? What? Yep. What?

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. What? We were just having a moment, then you said, did you want to, what do you mean? Then I winked and you didn't respond. Oh, no, I'm into it. I forgot who I was talking to. Yeah, all three eyes are open. Both lips are talking. Welcome to a Thursday show.

This is the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. I'm the butter to Tony Lodge's bread. And I'm the Tony Lodge bread. I'm the vice captain of the ship. I'm the captain of the ship of the bread. And coming up today, a first for the podcast, we are not just reviewing the movie Twister, but Tony,

are we saying reviewing it with a rap? How do we word this? I just think because it's not really a review. Wrapping it up with a rap. Yeah, the movie wrap-up. Wrap it up the movie. Oh, this is coming. It's not ready yet.

No, still preparing, but that's coming up shortly, all right? It's so cool, this bed, though, isn't it? It is good, yeah. So that's coming up later on today. Later on Saturday, in about ten minutes. Later on the Savo. It's going to be through to 4pm. today. In about ten minutes. Later on the Savo. It'll be through to 4pm. It's in about ten minutes.

Something happened to me at Officeworks, which is like, you know, office supply, stationery store. Staples in America. Yeah, right, okay. So you know what I'm talking about, those big stores. Totally. I'm really, really, really excited about you telling me this. Because it sounds like it's going to be dramatic,

but also I love Officeworks. Same. It is the best. It's the best. I love fucking stationery, all that shit. And now that we have a business, all that stuff's a write-off. The write-off people. The write-off people.

You just write it off. So I go fucking printer, ink, fucking paper, fucking pens, whatever business. I love getting a desk set up and going, oh, I'll get the little drawers and I'll put my papers in there and I'll do this. And, like, a manila folder. You know what does me in? What?

A fucking label maker. Touch me on the flap. I love a label maker. A label your labia. Yeah love a Labia Maker. Label your Labia. Yeah. That's very funny. A Labia Maker. What should I call it?

Just write Tony. So it turns out that printers. Yeah. We've discussed this before, I think. The ink of a printer is way more expensive than the printer itself. Yeah, sell your fucking first born. Now my printer was out of ink and now because I can't use the work printer because I don't work here anymore, I have to like a schmuck.

The work printer is our printer. I know and I'm not just printing random shit for uni and college at work because I'm like, oh, it's not even my paper. Now I'm printing my own paper. I've got to, you know, hold back. So I ran out of printer ink and it turns out. Did you just hear that? Is your tummy rumbling?

That was my tummy, yeah. You do get turned on by a label maker. You're bubbling. When you're turned on, does your tummy go. Yeah. Bridget's like, come to bed, sweetheart. And you're like. Someone's ready.

But, yeah, so we've talked about how it would be cheaper to just buy an entire printer that comes with the ink rather than trying to figure out how to buy it. So I had to get new ink and it turns out. Admin nightmare. Yeah, it's fucking, it's taken months. It turns out there's like 76 different kinds of printer ink. Yep.

There's different brands of cartridges. Hallelujah. Different printers. The Epson only takes the that, and then if you get the other brand, then you've got to get the. And if you buy that, fucking forget about it because this one's best friend's sister slept with the Epson, and they're not talking to each other anymore,

so you can't put that cartridge in your thing. Life is not good, LG. Dude. Dude. Life's dude. Life is not good, LG. Dude. Dude.

Life's dude. So what I thought I'd do is I would take photos of the printer, of the cartridge, of the barcode. So when I got to Officeworks, because I can't rock up and go, yeah, I need the A484-2460. So I had all these photos so I could show them and be like, this is the printer I've got. Yep.

Question. Yeah. Why didn't you just Google, like, the model number and what cartridge size you needed? Rather than, like, take all those photos like you, sorry, I'm just asking. As an anxious person, obviously I like to know all the information. That's what i did for when i had to buy it i i don't know if this is like bucking the trend here we go yep i don't

mind asking for help and you know how it's a real bloke thing of like don't ask for directions i know the way don't ask for help i'm the opposite i love to just go in dumb and go hey mate help me out it's not for me because like you you wouldn't say to the person installing your dryer I'm the opposite. I love to just go in dumb and go, hey, mate, help me out. It's not for me. Because like you, you wouldn't say to the person installing your dryer, excuse me, sir, quick question, could you finish your job? Or you wouldn't go to Bunnings and go, g'day, mate, I've just destroyed my fucking bathroom.

Can you tell me where the plungers are? Or when I get to a place, go, hey, where do I find the whatever? Because you would spend hours doing research and I don't got the time. I'm a big Googler. Yeah. I just think knowledge is power and I'd rather be armed with the knowledge of what I need and be able to get in there, get out rather than fucking walk in there and some, especially at like Officeworks or Bunnings or something

where you're like you don't really know if you're going to be able to find someone that can help you because maybe the thing that you need is really specific or everyone's busy. I just always feel like such a bother. I don't like know if you're going to be able to find someone that can help you because maybe the thing that you need is really specific or everyone's busy. I just always feel like such a bother. I don't like to bother people. So the people working there, I'm like, God, they're going to think I'm so stupid if I ask this question.

It's not about being. You know that's their job, right? But it's not about. Did you know that if you don't ask for help enough, they'll be upstairs, big printer, they'll be like, well, we don't need to have these floor staff now because Tony doesn't ask them, so they'll probably lose their jobs. What?

No. Well, they're there to help. And if they're not helping anyone, they're not required in their surplus to the business requirements. No. Do you want them to be out of a job? No. Do you not want their kids to eat?

No. I just thought they were. It sounds like you're anti-workforce. No. No, I'm not. Well, start using the help, mate. No, I just don't want to bother anyone. Bother them with employment.

Bother them with their rent being paid. I think we all know who the real hero is here now. Okay, so you're asking them what printer you should get. You know what? A quick Google probably could have solved a lot of fucking issues. Okay. But I guess when you figure out what thing you need, then could have solved a lot of fucking issues. Okay. But I guess when you figure out what thing you need,

then you've still got to go find it. Yeah. Anyway, my solution on the day. Okay, no, and that's fine. Some people scoop, some people use a towel. That's just our differences. On this given day, which in hindsight, as you're about to learn, probably could have been a better option than what transpired. Mate, hindsight, 2020.

I wear glasses. I've got no 2020 going in any fucking direction. You will not hear boo from me. Continue. Because there's 75 different types of ink and printed cartridges and whatever. And it is very specific. You can totally fuck your printer if you put the wrong thing in.

Exactly. So I take all these photos of the printer, the ink, the cartridges, the whatever, and I get to the store and I go, excuse me, can you help me get the printer ink that I need? I've taken some photos. The girl who works at Officeworks grabs my phone and goes, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, and just starts swiping. A cardinal sin.

Can you believe it? She's broken the one rule. Because I said I've got a few photos. Granted, I put it out there that there were more than one to see, but I kind of felt like this was the main one and then kind of like showed it at her, not gave her my phone. You didn't pass her your phone. I didn't pass her my phone.

You kind of went, see? Showed her. And she went. Yoink. And just started like, and like, I'm not like, you know, I've been in a relationship. There's no like sneaky nudes. There's no whatever.

There's nothing like bad on my phone. Am I right in thinking that every single person on the planet, when a stranger is flicking through your pictures. Yes. Time slows down. Buildings fall as if on fire in the background. Babies are crying.

Dogs are barking. I'm sweating. Like time stands still in those moments of a simple swipe. And often it's because like so same as you, long-term relationship. There's no nudes on my phone, but there are, like, pictures of weird stuff. Yeah. Like, you know, maybe I'm currently. What's on your phone right now?

Right now I've actually got this pimple on my bum. And yesterday. Hang on, can I ask you a question? Yeah. You can't see a pimple on your bum, can you? No. Why not? Because it's on the other side. It's on the? Yeah. You can't see a pimple on your bum, can you? No. Why not? Because it's on the other side.

It's on the other side. I can't see it. And Torb's my boyfriend. Love him. Been together for eight years, nine years, fucking whatever. He works from the office one day a week. He gets one Tony free day. And I said, cop this.

Look at this. He's out enjoying his Tony-free life one day, eight hours a week, but he gets away from me. He's a bit of a consultant in, you know, like an office corporate environment. Corporate, yeah. Did you text that to him? Facebook Messenger. Did you text that to him? Facebook Messenger. Did it pop up?

So that was the last photo I had taken. So no, there's no nudes. It's not me looking sexy. It's worse because it's like pictures that I've taken thinking that they were going to serve some scientific purpose. It's an interesting area. Because obviously the look you're giving me. Well, I love this concept of when you can't see it yourself,

sometimes you need to take a photo. Snap a pic. Now, I recently got my haircut. I mean, you did. You've got more attention for your haircut. We wouldn't dare talk about my haircut because you're the one with the glorious hair here. Don't get me wrong.

I'm not trying to steal your thunder. Wow. But I just got a haircut. Tell us how you really feel. And I'm a bit self-conscious because on the back of my head I've got a mole. That big mole you've got. Yeah. I mean, what mole?

When my hair is short, short, you can see it, but when it's a bit longer you can't. And so sometimes because it's covered over by the hair. And so I just got a haircut and I wanted to know if the mole was out. It was out. So as the girl at Officeworks flicked through my phone, have a look at this picture. Now I know I'm normally the one looking at the back of your head.

Should I keep swiping? No, no, no, no. Yeah. So. Okay. Can I just say one thing that I think is a saving grace? I'm going to try and save the day here. Please.

I thought that it was going to be quite close up and that it was going to look a bit like maybe a fanny mound. Like I thought it was going to be. Like if it was zoomed in. Yeah, like can you imagine it? And it looked like a freshly shaved giant. God, it looks like a baby echidna. Hey, it's Tanya from Perth and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out and a big thank you to a few of our champion tapas

over at our Patreon, which you can check out at any time if you'd like to. The link is in our show notes. But a big thank you to Olivia Sims. Thank you, Carson Whalen, Sarah Bomberry, Kendall McCree, Liz Marciel, Carla B, Emily D. Thank you so much. Oh, my God, I'm like a poet. Carla B, Emily D.

Caraville, Este Nascimento, Hayley Burrell and Lauren Costello. Thank you so much for your support. It means a lot to us. Thanks for being here. I really appreciate it. Now, every week we watch and review a movie. Yep. That movie is chosen by people in our Patreon. Yep. So this week, we

did natural disaster movies. Yep. Because when Tony had COVID, for some reason, your body said, all I need in my life is natural disaster movies. Yeah. So you could choose between Armageddon, which is a fucking belter movie, by the way. Great film. San Andreas, 2012.

So 2012 was like a Mayan calendar. Like the world was going to end in 2012. San Andreas was a big tidal wave, I believe. With the rock. Is that right? Dante's Peak, my personal favourite. And Twister, which inevitably did win. Was the winner.

By quite a way. I was expecting Armageddon. Oh, me too. And I really like Armageddon, but fuck, it's long. So I was grateful that it was only a two-hour movie instead of a three. Me and my friends went to a Malaysian karaoke bar when I lived in Malaysia. And we sung I Don't Want to Miss a Thing by Aerosmith. Of course you did. A karaoke staple. Because it's got those big high notes and we were I Don't Want to Miss a Thing by Aerosmith. Of course you did, yep. A karaoke staple.

Because it's got those big high notes and we were just like so into it and whatever. It turns out it wasn't a karaoke bar. There was a regular bar with a cover band and me and my drunk mate just got on stage and sung. Yeah, right. So shout out to everyone in Kota Kinabalu and sorry to everyone. That was there.

Wow. Who are these guys? And it was like a local bar, so it wasn't any tourists. So these random white guys just rocked up and started stinging arrows. They're like, this keeps happening. Why does this keep happening? We have to take this song out of our rotation because people keep thinking it's an invitation to get up with us.

Yeah, I just, oh, guys, should we do one? Yeah. Our turn next. Everyone go. We'll get next. But, yeah, everyone picked Twister. Yeah. Had you seen the movie before?

I reckon I saw it with Mum when it came out. Oh, my God. Like when I was, I would have been eight, like young. Holy shit. And it was like this scary movie. But, I mean, it's pretty spooky. It's pretty scary. And can I just say one thing that I wasn't expecting, that it was a real moment in time? Yeah.

How many times in the movie did they say son of a bitch? Like every time something happened, oh, son of a bitch. And I don't know if that's like the area of the US, but every, surely there's a blog somewhere written by someone from Rotten Tomatoes that says, here's the 74

times like, oh, it ran me off the road, son of a bitch. Oh, look, there's a tornado coming our way. Oh, no direction, son of a bitch. And it was like every minute and that's all I could hear for the whole movie. Oh, I never even thought about it. I'm sorry I've ruined it for everyone because any time you ever watch that movie from now on, all you'll hear is son of a bitch

a thousand times over. Oh, I am not, I don't say that. That's like not part of my vocab. No. So maybe I just didn't pick up on it. Because you're not vocab. No. So maybe I just didn't pick up on it. Because you're not from Oklahoma. Yeah, but maybe I just didn't pick up on it. But, yeah, that's interesting though.

It's a great film, isn't it? It is good. So I watched it for the first time when we had COVID. I'd never seen it before. It gets a bit silly at the end though, right? Well, I mean, fuck, it just keeps on going. Like they missed it. Try again.

They missed it. Try again. They missed it. Like, fuck it, we get it. We'll try again. They missed it. We'll try again. Like, fuck it, we get it. I'll tell you what fucked me off. What? When they missed it, they were, like, really excited.

More. I was like, oh, that was so cool. I'm like, you missed it. Yeah, the thing didn't happen. I'm like, come on, guys, you've got a great invention here. And you kind of think that the movie is going to go in such a direction, like, they go for one tornado, something terrible happens,

the thing gets destroyed like it does and it's them like trying to fix it before the next one comes or something, but they've just got 12 of them and they just cycle them in and out. Like I just, yeah, but maybe then, maybe that was the theme then of movies. But what I thought was really interesting, Bill Paxton, who is the lead guy. Legend. He is only doing natural disaster movies.

He's in that, Titanic, Apollo 13 and Aliens. And also, well, Aliens. Natural disaster. As we discussed off air, Aliens is not a natural disaster movie. Natural disaster. Is he also the same character in all of those movies, just the different stages of his life? Yes.

Yeah. Because in Titanic he's the guy who's like on the boat and is narrating the story with Rose. And I was like, he looks really familiar. And I realised. And then I looked at his IMDb and I was like, bro, I guess don't fix what's not broken. You know your place, roll it.

He's like, I've actually got disaster acting experience so I'd be really good at this. I wonder if anyone in the tarpa community in Facebook or anything is a weatherman because you know how he's become, he's like left chasing to go a bit and it's almost like he's the sellout and he works for the TV station and he keeps copping grief for it. I was watching me like, what's this beef with weathermen? That's a great job.

Why is everyone talking down to weathermen? And I'm imagining a weatherman watching the movie being like, what the fuck? You guys trying to start a fight? What's wrong with me? What's everyone laughing at my question? He's like talking to his wife and he's like, I just thought that was a really great job.

I get to be on TV. Oh, it is. It is. It's a great job, honey. Yeah. Weather man. But like, to be a weather person, you, most of them are legit meteorologists, aren't they? Some of them.

I thought that you had to be a meteorologist to be a weather person. Think about the weather people. Are you joking? No. Are you joking? No. So I know what you're saying. We know weather people.

No, I know. In Australia, footballers' wives. Are you joking? No. Are you joking? No. So I know what you're saying. We know weather people. No, I know. In Australia, footballers' wives. Am I right? There's heaps of them. It's like very attractive presenters and that fucks off like traditional weather people. Like David Brown, the meteorologist from Channel 7. You had to be a meteorologist to be a weather person. So I was like that checks out.

Fifi Box is a weather girl for years. Yeah, right. Do you want to be a weather person? I could read the weather, but I wouldn't want to write it because I don't know anything. But, I mean, I actually, tell a lie, the first shift I ever did on air in radio, aside from like giving out cans of coke on the street,

was doing weathers like regionally. And you remember when, because you worked in Bunbury, I worked in Bunbury, if you were doing like work day or whatever, you had to do the weathers for every single station. And I did weathers for one of the guys because I wanted some practice. So you were the weather girl in Northern.

I did it once. And in Kalgoorlie today it's 48 degrees. Yeah, and it should have taken probably about 10 minutes. I think I was in the studio for two hours because I just kept going like, in Kalgoorlie, in Kalgoorlie, in Kalgoorlie it's five. When you say it should have taken ten minutes, I had to do that job when I was there. It should take about 34 seconds.

Yeah. No, well, it took me about two hours to do them for the weekend. And then they went, you know what, Tony? You just get back to being the audio queen, babe. How about you keep just like snipping stuff up? All good, though. Thank you. Thanks for your time.

Thank you for your service. All the best with future endeavours. But good on Bill Paxton. He's really been around the traps, hasn't he? Yeah, and his new fiancée, she wasn't for me. She wasn't for me. Nah, she was awful. I mean, who wears a white pantsuit to the fucking desert

or wherever they are? The Outback? What do you call where they are? Just regional. Middle America? Yeah. Like, I guess it's quite broad. Yeah, there could be a lot of places.

Because it's, you know, quite landlocked, so the middle is quite large. So after watching the movie, I've written a rap to wrap up the movie. Do you know one thing that I did realise is that, you know, late last year we watched The Grinch and you were like, oh, I fell asleep, I didn't watch the whole thing. I now have to like be fully across the movie because I've got to write something about it.

So it sounds like you've actually just, like, switched the, flicked the switch on having to do anything because you're like, Tony's taking care of this. I don't have to fucking do anything. I thought that, I was like, I could probably not watch this movie. I loved it, though. Me and Bridget watched it last night. Did you actually?

Yeah. Did you actually watch it? Yeah, because the hilarity. Because you can't fuck me over with this. No, no, no. And because we kept laughing, like they drive through a house at one stage, and that's when Bridget was like, righto, all right, I think I'm out. What does she mean?

That was the line. Was she watching the rest of it? I know, it just kept getting more ridiculous. And we actually had a great time watching and laughing along and whatnot. I love when Bill Paxton's new wife was like, has anyone been in an F6 or whatever, the finger of God? And everyone's like, only one of us. And it goes to Jo, who's like upstairs, and you're like,

it was her dad that died, the man at the beginning. Spoilers. Came out fucking 35 years ago. Mate. Big spoilers. Also, I will know that if you do a rap only on the first scene in a movie, you're like, all right, I've watched the whole movie, here's a rap, and it's all about the first scene.

I'll be like, oh, she clearly hasn't watched much of it. You've watched 10 minutes ago. Yeah, nah, that'll do. Yeah, I've got a couple of rhymes in there. Are we ready to go, though? Yeah, I'm ready to go. All right, here we go. Here we go.

Tony Lodge. Twister rap. Twister rap. Here we go. We had to watch Twister for the movie this week. Even though I prefer Dante's Peak, there's a scene with Twister Sisters. You know, cows

in the sky. Joe's dad died. Bill and Joe, you wonder will they or won't they? Chasing storms every single day. They got Dorothy in the sky after the 15th try. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Woo!

Do-do-do-do! Do-do-do-do-do! Oh, Tony Lott. Yeah. I like that. Not just the first scene. Not just the first scene. Multiple scenes included.

Thank you. Well done. I'm all about that. I'm all about it. I do think that the cows in the sky were on the cover of the movie. Spot, yeah. Like, I don't think it's like... Actually, if you just rap about a movie's poster one week,

it's written with the font like this on the poster. Things you love to see. My love to see it is... OK, there you go. Oh, it sounded like you were pausing for me to go. Here you go, mate. Oh. Well, this one...

I'll just wait. As long as this doesn't take as long as Twister. Oh, fucking hell. We'll be here all week. It's a tweet from Delianne Money who posted, for those who think it's too late to fill in the blank, whether it's anything that you want to do, for those who think it's too late to whatever,

I became an entrepreneur at 37, my mum became an entrepreneur at 57. Age is just a number and mindset is everything. Get it. I love that. And I know that between you and I, we both love an inspirational quote. I do love an inspirational quote. Don't be condescending. I do love an inspirational quote.

I almost swore just then. Well, you're allowed to. No, I almost swore the bad one. You tried to see. Almost. I didn't. I am actually not taking the piss. I love an inspirational quote.

I've got a Pinterest board full of them. I bet you do. And I just really liked that this week because, yeah, like fucking just do it. Live your best life. A lot of people find their calling in their 40s and 50s and go, oh, no, you've still got 30 or 40 to go, mate. Make them count.

Exactly. Did you know the Colonel? As in KFC, yeah. He only devised his plan and got big in his late 60s or something. Tina Fey didn't fucking get picked up on SNL until she was fucking 40. And Mary-Kate and Ashley, they were like four before they hit the big time. Yeah. So, I mean, some people have to wait a while.

But I love that. How long do we have to wait? I do love that. The limit does not exist. The limit does not exist. So take hold of your dreams this week if that's something you needed to hear. I hope it's inspirational. That's beautiful.

I'm back to uni this week, back to college. Very exciting. The MBA studies continue now that we've got some free time during the week. And this subject I'm doing at the moment is like a marketing one. And this is more of a joke than like a marketing learning. Yeah. But I laughed hard. And laughing hard at university does not happen that often

because it's a pretty dry subject. Yeah. So they were talking about like rebranding. You know how some brands will do like a refresh or they kind of maybe do a little bit of a pivot? Mm-hmm. Name a more successful rebrand than mayonnaise becoming aioli. It's the same thing.

No, it's not. But do you remember years ago when everyone had mayo and stuff, but now you would never have mayo. You would only now have on your chips aioli. Fact. How many times have you been to Grilled and got chips with mayo? I get the herbed mayo that they do. Is it herbed mayo or is it herbed aioli?

Do we need to take this show on the road down the hill? What are you taking me? To Grilled, not to Aioli. Do you know what is good, though? Like Kewpie mayo, the Japanese mayo. That is good. Are you un-rebranding my rebrand? No.

Oh, my God. I haven't touched mayonnaise in three years. Are you unbranding? You're unbranding. Ranch is good as well. It is good. Ranch is good, but I love an aioli, so yep. Good job, eggs. You've become something new and we're very proud of you, eggs. It's never too late to become aioli!

It's never too late! I hate you. Meow-an-ace. Hey, five days a week. I hate the way I love to say it was proven incorrect. No, I liked it. Maybe I should have gone second, though. All good.

Yeah. Hindsight, mate, like we said, 2020. Well, it's actually quite strange for me to come second. I heard that. See you tomorrow. Five days a week. See you tomorrow. Love you.

Bye. Meow a day.