Toni and Ryan - Acting like a Carla Conte

Episode Date: September 18, 2022

When were you very underdressed for an occasion? And Ryan and I are makin' a purchase!!! Love ya Toni xxx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. That is Tony. She's the audio queen, captain of the ship. I'm the vice captain over here. I'm just the butter to her bread. We're about to call Bradley for approval. Hi, Bradley. And I said, Bradley, what town are you from? Yeah. And he goes, America. So. Oh.

Do with that what you. Wow. Hello. Hey, is that Brad? Yes, it is. that, Brad? Yes, it is. Hi, Brad. It's Tony and Ryan. Hi.

Hi. Would you approve this podcast? Absolutely. I'd be happy to. You! Yeah. Oh, thanks so much, Brad. Hey, it's Bradley from New Jersey.

I'm happy to approve this podcast. Yeah. I'm happy to approve this podcast. Coming up on today's episode. Have you ever watched a show that's changed the very fibre of your being? Have you? So we've watched Welcome to Wrexham. Oh, my God. When I suggested sports documentaries, the eye roll.

I threw up. I was like, mate, don't you know who I am? There's a very well-documented version of my personality online. And if you'd like to check that out, it's at Tony and Ryan. Yeah, What Screams sports documentary. But having watched, I watched a few episodes of Welcome to Wrexham. How many did you watch? All of it. I think there's new episodes dropping that just dropped over the weekend.

I'll be going home and watching those tonight. Right. All right. We'll get to that soon. New Tony. Someone actually, I think it might have been The Little Woot, said, how many Tonys can there be? Regional Tony, Unflappable Tony, Obnoxious New Tony. Subur. New Tony. Someone actually, I think it might have been the little woot, said, how many Tonys can there be? Regional Tony, unflappable Tony, obnoxious new Tony.

Suburban dad Tony. Suburban Tony. Dog-owning Tony. Oh, yeah. Hopefully. TBD. TBD. To be dogged.

All right. First up, though, when were you underdressed for the occasion? Surely everyone's experienced that moment where you turn up to a place and go, I mid-read this. Thank you to everyone last week who stood up for me after I was supposed to wear a black suit and tie on the TV with the Queen's passing and wore a denim jacket and a T-shirt. Everyone said it wasn't my fault.

I agree. I don't think it was your fault at all. They said wear black and I did. Yep. I think that's fair enough. And thank you for everyone gassing me up saying how good I looked wearing my black on black. You did look good. Are you just saying that?

No, mate. You know that I'm your biggest fan. You are. You know that. Yeah, aggressively. Yeah. I'm married, mate. Well, what do you want, mate?

Yeah, no, you're right. I asked for it. You're going to have it one way or the other. No, no. I will have it this way. I will have it this way. I want it this way. I will have it this way. I want it that way. So I asked everyone, hey, don't leave me out here in the cold on my own.

Yeah. When were you underdressed? And the taffas, mate. Yeah. Sala. Hi, Sala. I went to a baby shower and the couple's last name was White. Oh.

Very common last name. And I assumed, says Sala, that the theme of a celebration of white was just a fun pun. But they meant like dinner en blanc or whatever it is. I didn't think a celebration of white was the dress code. Yep. Everyone must wear white. Now, we've been invited to a party where you had to wear white.

Yep. And we were preparing maybe not to boycott, but I think the event was cancelled and we were relieved. Is that fair to say? Yeah. Well, I had already bought a white dress that I'm never going to wear again. Had you? Yeah.

Because I was like, oh, I'm getting ready for this thing and obviously I'm going to meet the dress code, but I don't wear any white. The closest I've got is a white T-shirt that I would wear under a denim jacket, you know? Do you think for a baby shower, and in that case a birthday, just assuming and telling everyone they must wear white is a bit of a fucking like...

I just don't know if it's a... Oh, I don't really want to say what I'm going to say. Okay. I just don't think it's a big enough event. That's what I mean. Like if you were having like a wedding dress code or, you know, like the thing we were invited to was the 30th birthday, I'm like that's probably the closest I would go.

But a baby shower, I just don't. I'm going to have to go buy new clothes for a baby shower? I'm bringing you a baby gift. Is that not enough? Yeah, I think that's the other thing. When you set like a very – I think that saying like black tie or whatever at a wedding, you kind of go, cool, that's probably expected. But then to have to take a gift to a baby shower and buy an outfit

or contribute to their – My auntie and uncle are in town next week and they're going to come around for coffee. Do you want to come join them? I'd love to. Yeah, can you buy a new outfit? Not enough of an occasion? No, that's probably about right.

Hey, Linda and David are in town, mate. Yeah, I want to get on that farm, mate. That's why I'm willing to impress. Yeah, no, you impress them. They're good value. Sala said, so I rock up and everyone's wearing white. But how clear was it on the invitation? Do we have the information? It said a celebration of white. But then did it say dress in white?

That's just what it said. Okay, I think that I'm on team Sala here. So I wore an obnoxiously loud green and orange leopard print dress and stood out like a unicorn. And you just know that the mother-to-be after the party went, I know she did that on purpose. Salah's a bitch. Yeah, like you just know that that happened after. Because I would do the same.

I don't think that's clear enough on the invitation. So with the white party, I'm not going to buy white jeans. I've got too much of a butt to wear. White's a pretty triggering, revealing color. Oh, no, I'm not wearing to buy white jeans. I've got too much of a butt to wear. White's a pretty triggering, revealing color. Oh, no, I'm not wearing white, mate. And so I was like, oh, I've got like a dark gray pant and like a cream. I was like, I'll just wear light. Palette of light.

A palette of white and light. Obnoxiously green and orange leopard print is like the opposite of white. Yeah, the opposite of white isn't black. It's orange and green leopard print. I hope there's no sticklers for graphic design listening because they're like, no, the opposite of white is black. Oh, no. Because they get real funny about stuff like that.

I get it. It's just a joke. Carla Conti. Carla Conti. Carla Conti. Yeah, and didn't she feel like a Carla Conti after this, Matt? My aunt is. You're acting like a real Carla Conti. Can we employ that on the podcast?

That instead of beeps, we now refer to if you're acting like a real Carla Conti, you're acting like a real Carla Conti. My auntie's 50th birthday. Oh, happy birthday, auntie. Auntie Kunt. No? Too far. That's the book.

My auntie's 50th birthday. Now, this is a tough one. The invitation, the dress code said chic. Chic. Chic. Chic. It says chic. It says chic.

Oh, we've got to dress as chickens. Bright yellow fluffy. Got it. Does anyone have a beak I could borrow? What shoes are you wearing? I've got these lovely little. I've got these lovely little. Tony's gesturing to a three-toed. What are you?

A claw. You know how like a duck has like webbed feet and they like got the three thing? Okay. Anyway. Is today a vodcast? No. Auntie. Conti.

Conti. Tony, you beat that one. Auntie biscotti. Yes. The dress code was chic. Chic. And what the Tony, you beat that one. Auntie Biscotti, yes. The dress code was chic. Chic. And what the fuck does that mean on a dress? That could mean many things to many people. Do you know what I would like to have an aside here?

I feel like chic is more of an energy than a dress code because my aim in life, and I'm not hitting the mark right now, but my aim in life is for people to look at me and go, oh, she's just effortlessly chic. Really? That's my – I wish that that was me. I think the – Just like real like understated but it's just like, oh,

she rolled out of bed and looks like that. I did roll out of bed. This is what I look like but in a good way. You've nailed the brief of falling out of bed and looking like something. Yeah. Something. A real color content. Actually, you know what?

If your goal is for people to say, she's just rolled out of bed and looks like that, you're nailing it. Because you're doing it and that's what I'm saying. Yeah, great. Yeah. The proof is in the pudding. Anyway, chic. Yeah.

I agree though. It is an energy. Yeah. If you're rocking something. Then I find that chic. So you could be like rocker chic or like grungy chic or like real classy chic. Or like green and orange leopard print chic. Sala, maybe not.

Anyway, Aunty Conti, yep. Carla Conti rocks up in a short black dress, a long sheer kimono thing, and a choker necklace. Oh, hot. That's fucking hot. That's hot as. Now, Carla Conti in brackets. That's made me wet on my Carla Conti.

Sorry. She writes in brackets, give me a break. It was 10 years ago. Mate, don't apologise for the choker here. You don't apologise for that at all. The only thing that would change if you wore that today is that it would be like three layered gold necklaces and a clacky mule. So I walked into the function room.

Everyone is in formal suits, cocktail dresses and literal ball gowns. And I felt like a right cunt. No, you can't say cunt. A right Carla cunt. Conti, Carla Conti. Oh, sorry, what did I say? You're saying cunt. Oh, you can't say. A right Carla cunt. Conti. Carla Conti. Oh, sorry. What did I say?

You're saying cunt. Oh, no, Conti. Which is, yeah. That's not her name. And I felt like a right Carla Conti. Conti. Conti. And naturally, says Carla, I got so blackout drunk just to handle the situation.

Because you're like, oh, just to cope. Yeah. Oh, I feel like such an idiot. What am I going to do? Hit that bar. I wouldn't consider that chic. I mean, it is a version of chic, but that's not. I agree.

You, me and Carla Kunti, we're all on the same page here. That's more like black tie. Absolutely. Yeah. I was so drunk I couldn't even see the food on my plate when the waiter put it in front of me. She wasn't mucking around. That sounds like a big deal for a 50th.

Yeah. Like. Very chic. That's it. I still have trauma because my whole family looked at me like I was the trashy hooker cousin. Oh. I'm with you, Carla Conti, on this one. I think that's all right.

Finally, Anna Lee. Anna Lee. And that's not like. Anna Lee. But it's like first and second name. It's not like Annalise. Yeah. It's Anna Lee. Anna Lee. And that's not like. Anna Lee. But it's like first and second name. It's not like Annalise. Yeah. It's Anna Lee.

Anna Lee. I know an Anna Lee. Is it my friend Anna Lee? Anna space Lee. Is it? I don't know. I guess it's a pretty common name, but I've got a friend called Anna Lee. Shout out to Anna Lee.

She used to work at Mecca. Is she hot? Yeah. Working at Mecca is like I live in California kind of vibes. Oh, yeah. Or like working at Boost Juice. Yeah. Like when I was at school, that was like the hot girls

and hot boys worked at Boost Juice. Yeah. I was hooking up with a hot boy. It's her. It's her. That she met online. I was going around to his place. Hot.

Now, I actually believe there's two different things you wear in this situation. If you're going to someone's house purely to hook up, have a guess. What are the two types of things you could be wearing? One of the options I think is like active wear, like as in, oh, I just threw on some leggings because I'm just going around, so that you look like cute but cash. And then the other option I guess would be something slutty.

Yeah, so I would have thought, and I think we're on a similar train of thought here. Like a slutty robe. I just recently bought a slutty robe. Robe? Yeah. Like a Robe? Yeah. Like a silky. Yeah. I was incepted by you on our last live stream.

You know how you were wearing that slutty robe? It was a kimono. Yeah. Yeah. I just bought one. I was like, that's going to make me feel slutty at home. And that's nice. Did you feel slutty when I was wearing it?

Yeah, I did. Yeah. Yeah. I was wearing it on my Conti. And so, sorry to everyone. I'm not sorry. I don't apologise. Congratulations to everyone on the last live stream

that saw a lot of Ryan in a slutty robe. Yeah, there was a lot of nip happening. There was. It was quite sheer, the robe. It was. So even when it was covered. It still wasn't covered. Yeah.

So I would have thought the two things when you go to hook up is one is just the sexy category. Yeah. But then I reckon after a few times you're like. You're doing the active wear, I reckon. Well, I just thought like tracky, like as in I'm just getting there to take it off and we know what we're here for and we're comfortable in our own skin and active wear, hoodie, whatever, you just go over.

Just like athleisure kind of vibes. Yeah. So I think Anna Lee had been over, obviously this isn't the first time, it might be like third, fourth or fifth where she'd start to become comfortable with like, we know why I'm here. I'm just going to turn up and let's fucking get on it. It's 2am, says Anna Lee. Oh, Anna Lee. Oh my goodness.

I'm asleep. I get a phone call from work. Someone has triggered the alarm and the police have showed up and someone needs to go down there and the boss has called me and said, you need to go in and see what's going on oh my god so i went to my workplace wearing a unicorn onesie because like an uddy because she's in the like comfy mode she's like i'm just gonna get railed by this bloke i'll just chuck on my onesie and just jump in the car and head around no so it's like a full hopute, but with a unicorn head thing. Oh, my God.

Like onesie. When I say onesie, not like a cute one-piece, like a full oodie blanket. Yeah, like those big sloppy ones. Yeah. Oh, my God. So what seems to be the problem? Yeah.

She had to give a police statement in the unicorn onesie. Who's responsible here? Yeah, that girl who was halfway through being rail statement in the unicorn onesie. Who's responsible here? Yeah, that girl who was halfway through being railed in a unicorn onesie. She'll give you the statement. Please take me seriously. Annalie. I hope they weren't doing it, Annalie. Mate, if I wasn't here, I would be coughing at Annalie right now.

Give my Carla Kunti a rest. But all the cops would have known that she was horny. Because she had the unicorn on her. And the cop goes, geez, you're a rare sight. And you're like, of course, how many unicorns have you seen? goes, geez, you're a rare sight. And you're like, of course, how many unicorns have you seen? Hey, it's Bradley from New Jersey, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan.

Thanks to everyone who joined us for the football live stream. Oh, it was good. And by football, I mean like football food, like me and Tony wearing a scarf and eating food. That's what I mean by football. Yeah, and explicitly not planning it on grand final day because we'll be wasted. We'll be doing the grand final thing, which is this week. But thank you to all the champion tapas who joined us live.

The live stream is still on Patreon if you want to go and catch up yeah you can watch it in retro yeah so you'll be like oh that was last week but if you comment along we won't read them out yeah because we did it four days ago it's off now uh a big thank you to a few of the people that might have watched that jacob shields michael purton mills thank you so much. Thanks, Perto. Naomi Pilmaestro. Pilmaestro. Jess Heslip, thank you. Owen Thomas, Jordan Lean, Daniela Farrow. Farrow. Isn't Farrow like a type of grain? Like Farrow.

I thought it was like a bird. Or is that Farrah? No, that's Sparrow. Yeah, my mistake. I'm thinking of Farrah Fawcett, I think. Yeah. Yeah. John G.

Tony B. That's cool. That is cool. Isab G. Tony B. That's cool. That is cool. Isabella Raimundo. Raimundo. Raimundo. And Sandra Salu. Thank you so much for being part of the Patreon.

No relation to Sandra Sully? Yep. I misread. Thank you. Yes. Yeah. I'm Sandra Sully. 10 Night News.

10 Eyewitness News. And another one of the perks of being part of our Patreon is that you get to vote for the movies we watch each week. Now, I'm going to... Actually, I'm not going to apologise. No, we never ask for much. We don't ask for a lot. But in the category of sports documentaries,

we said in the poll, can you just everyone choose Welcome to Wrexham with Ryan Reynolds because we want to watch it? Yeah. You said we want to watch it so help. You said, we want to watch it so I help some sisters out. And the sisters were helped. Sisters are doing it for themselves. 70% said Welcome to Wrexham.

Huge. Although I know there's some diehard, and when I think of the TARPA community, I'm not surprised that out of all sports documentaries, the second one was cheer. Yeah. And I was like, we know our people. It makes sense. But also we know them well enough to know that they would unequivocally vote for something

with Ryan Reynolds in it. Also true. You know, I don't think it was far off the mark. Now, were you going into the category, you were like, hey, like sport documentaries, not my area. But I have heard about Ryan Reynolds bought a sports team. He's kind of funny. What's the, I don't know.

It was fair to say you were at least curious about this. Yeah, well, I knew about it because Torbs and I both are huge Sunny fans. Like always Sunny in Philadelphia. So both of us are really big fans of Rob McElhenney. So I knew all about it because I'd seen it on his socials. I think I'm one of the only people in the world that up until recently I was following Rob and not Ryan. Really? Yeah.

So, like, I knew what was happening and obviously it was kind of like a big pop culture moment that that was happening. So, yeah, I was definitely curious and it was something that Torbs was like, do you want to watch that thing? And I was like, oh, maybe when we got Nothing Else On. Yeah. Maybe if I'm forced to by the Tarpers. Maybe I think of a reason.

But I am so fucking glad that we watched it. Really? It was amazing. There's a lot of heart in it, eh? It's really like fucking a bit of a tearjerker at times. So for anybody that doesn't know, Ryan Reynolds and Rob McElhaney, they brought this sports team together. And the documentary Welcome to Wrexham is kind of like, they explain about how this other guy used to own the team and he totally fucked the town over. But they're like the oldest

running club. Yeah. And with those smaller towns, 50,000 people in Wrexham, it's one of those if the sports team's doing well, the town's doing well economically because people are coming to watch the game. Yeah. And people are happy. Yeah, and if the team's struggling, the town's struggling. And if the town's struggling, then the team's struggling. And it's a real like when I say momentum,

you can have a 20-year slump because they vibe off each other and they're having tough times, right? Yeah, and so the team was owned by a trust in the town and the trust had to approve them buying it and they were like, oh, well, you know, is this just a gimmick that they're not going to care about in six months? Like are they actually going to invest time and money into this thing?

And they all agreed to do it so they were able to buy the footy team. It's actually just the most special thing to watch. They're interviewing all these people from the town and like underneath their name, it says like, oh, 30 year Wrexham fan, 45 year Wrexham fan, oldest living Wrexham fan. And all these people that have kind of seen the team go through all of these things. And the aim, for anybody that doesn't understand the English football system, which I didn't before watching this, that there's heaps of different leagues, and if you fuck it up pretty much and you lose, you get put down. Demoted.

Relegated. Relegated into another league, which means you earn less money. But then all the good players leave, and you can see why once you start getting fucked. You just keep getting trodden down. Could you imagine? So they're like the fifth level. So A League or Premier League is like Man United and Chelsea and shit

and then they're in C. Look at you go. You're all in. I'm loving this. I'm fucking into English footy now. Could you just imagine if the LA Lakers had a bad year and they had to play in the Mexican League? Yeah, like all of a sudden they were like, oh, cool, see ya.

You're in C grade. Yeah. What? Like, yeah, soccer's unique like that, but it makes it fascinating. And when they say, oh, look, it's just sport, you're like, this town's economy relies on this. Yeah. Because if we're in the fifth league, there's no TV,

and if there's no TV, there's no sponsors, and then the town's fucked. We're not playing for sheep stations. Yeah, you are, mate. Yeah, you literally are. This is important. This is it, yeah. What I found interesting when they're like the average salary if you're in the Premier League per player was 3.5 million pounds per year,

and the average for Wrexham was 38,000 pounds a year. So 40 grand a year. Yeah. And the average for Rexham was 38 pounds. Yeah. 38,000 pounds a year. Yeah. So 40 grand a year. Yeah. Like you're talking like people playing professional football and fucking working at Coles on the weekend. Yeah. Like especially if you've got kids and stuff,

like that's not probably going to make ends meet every week. That guy that they're expecting their third child and he got sacked in the first episode. Oh, my God. And he's like crying. Oh, my God. And he knew. He got sent off and he's like, that's it.

That's it. I'm unemployed. Yep. But they did. So it's really, even though there are tear-jerking moments, it's very uplifting. Yep. And there's a part in the show where they say, oh,

at this point in the season last year we we'd made £3,000 from merch sales. And at the same point the year after the guys bought it, it was at like £80,000. Woo. Yeah. So it's like getting all this exposure, I guess. Would you say now that you are a Wrexham fan? Yep.

I'm fucking going to buy a jersey. Yep. I'm a Wrexham fan? Yep. I'm fucking going to buy a jersey. Yep. I'm a Wrexham fan through and through. I'm a bandwagoner. You know that. I'm a bandwagoner. No, but what I love about you is you'll get on the underdog. Oh, yeah.

I am like that. Because jumping on Wrexham now is like true and true. It's not like you wait five years when they're rich and they've made it back to the Premier League and then you go, oh, yeah, maybe I'm a Wrexham fan. Nah. You were there from the start. From the bottom. You are Ryan Reynolds.

Yes. I am. And I respect that. A bit richer than Ryan Reynolds, I think, probably. I've spoken to your finance team. Paul Guy? Yeah. He's doing it tough.

He'll get through. But anyway, I loved it. And we should buy a sports team. Yeah, I was going to say, what's the outcome here? Yep. I think, like, there's just, I'd see no other way forward than us buying a sports team. Yeah, I was going to say, what's the outcome here? Yep. I think, like, there's just, I'd see no other way forward than us buying a sports team. Who's that guy? He's on Shark Tank in the US.

Don't know. But anyway, he bought the Dallas Mavericks. That's really going to annoy me. Oh, sorry about that. And then everyone else. Oh, we're Googling. We're Googling. Oh, no.

As soon as I. Sports your area, mate. You should know this. Sports now my area also. Mark Cuban, of course. Of course. You know Mark Cuban? No.

Oh, you would if you saw him. Okay. But he, and then there's just like the prestige and the like, I own the Dallas Mavericks. Yeah. So what team are you wanting to buy? I don't know. I just think maybe like a local under 10s first, you know. But I'd love to imagine I really loved seeing how into the sport

they actually were. Like it showed all this footage of them up at 4 a.m. watching the game live and like, you know, all of that stuff. It just like. Would you get up at 4 a.m. to watch the under 10s? Yeah, fuck yeah, I would. Okay. If our fucking logo was on the back of their jersey, a fucking that stuff. Would you get up at 4am to watch the under 10s? Yeah, fuck yeah, I would. Okay.

If our fucking logo was on the back of their jersey, a fucking hundred percent. Okay. Are you asking for people to submit their teams? Yeah. Because wouldn't it be great if it was like, obviously we could never afford to do something like huge. Couldn't we?

No, we can't. Not with that attitude. But wouldn't it be great to like actually. Ryan Reynolds wouldn't say no. He wouldn't say I can't do anything. He can afford to do whatever he wants. Well, you said a minute ago that you had more than him. That was a lie.

Okay. I was lying. Tony Backtrack Lodge. But wouldn't it be great to like make a huge difference to like a local team that can't afford jerseys? And we go, look, we'll spot you. Do you like cricket? No.

Okay. Because in Australia it's coming into cricket season. Oh, right. Oh, we, we'll spot you. Do you like cricket? No. Okay. Because in Australia it's coming into cricket season. Oh, right. Oh, we've missed footy season. We've missed footy season. Maybe that gives us about a year for Whelan and Dillon. Actually. Before we buy the team.

I'm going to put in the Tony and Ryan Facebook group. Yep. A separate post that's like pitch your team at us. Yeah, or if your kids are on it. And it has to be a Victorian team so that we can go out and watch the games and stuff. Ryan Reynolds travelled from the United States to the UK. Yeah, he flew private, mate. I'm not flying economy every weekend to watch the under-10s in fucking England.

Oh, no, I'll drive to the border. The border isn't two hours away. Depends which border. Albury-Wodonga is like. Oh, you said Bundura was regional the other day and that fucked a lot of people off. Good. Good.

Someone wrote in and said there's a tram to Bundura. Is there really? It's a city suburb as far as I'm concerned. Hey, preferably closer to us. The closer the better. The closer the better because it means that we can actually be part of the club. Yeah. And that's what I'm after.

Are you fussed about which sport? Not really. I mean, obviously right now I'm fucking into soccer. Yeah. Obviously. But because you and I both know footy pretty well, like AFL pretty well, I feel like that makes the most sense. Volleyball?

We'll listen to all. St strap your wrists, get ready. We're buying a volleyball team. We could sponsor a volleyball, like the Victorian volleyball team when they go to the national champs. Maybe. You could be on someone's bikini. I don't want to do that. Like your logo on their arsehole.

Arse, not arsehole. Wow. Sorry. Luckily it's not on their Carla Conti. Anyway. It could be. There's only so many spots you can put a logo on the jerseys.

Send us your recommendations and we'll look into it because I'm fucking barred up. You're all barred up and I love this about you. Yep. Thanks. I'm all or nothing. It's like you guys heard last week when I talked about researching for the dog. I'm all in. You're all in. I say I hate learning but I love it when it's for something.

Would you consider yourself, sorry, could you see yourself as maybe being some kind of mogul? What's a mogul? It's a really fucking hard word to describe. Oh, okay. Just because no one's ever seen it. Like a property mogul. Well, that would be a property mogul,

but a mogul might be someone who owns a sports team. Like a sports mogul. Sounds like me. Like Mark Cuban. Could I be a mogul across many different areas? Yeah, that's why you'd just be a mogul. I don't own any property or any sports teams. I don't even own my car.

No. You're going to own a dog soon. Yeah, hopefully. I don't know if that's mogul energy though, owning a dog. No, that's mongrel energy. All right, we'll workshop this later. Yeah, send through your recommendations. But I know that we've probably gone way over time today,

but do you want to hear the rap? I'd love to hear the rap. Very quickly. We'll do a quick version of the rap. Is the rap based on Welcome to Wrexham? Because I wouldn't mind if your rap was just based on you becoming a mogul. Do you want me to quickly write something else? Whatever you've got prepared

will be fine. You know what MC stands for? MC Tony Lodge? Mogul. Mogul Conti. You have to say Conti, not Conti. Mogul Conti. Tony Lodge. Here she is. Alright. Let's feel it. Let's do this. Mogul Contoni. Mogul Contoni. Alright. Ready?

T. Lodge. Welcome to Wrexham. The minor footballoni. Ready? Tea Lodge. Welcome to Wrexham. We're buying a football team. Here we are. Ching, ching. Ryan and Rob bought a football team. The town of Wrexham just thought it was a meme, but they really love the sport now.

You know, invested all their cash making a splash. They don't want to get relegated once more. If it goes bust, they're going to be poor. Let's hope they see promotion. Rob and Ryan would be boasted. Mogul Conti. Delegated once more. If it goes bust, they're going to be poor. Let's hope they see promotion. Rob and Ryan would be boasted. Mogul Conti. Woo. Feels right.

Pretty good rap. Pretty good rap. Yeah. I can't wait to see you become a mogul. Me either. I'm going to have a personal assistant that, like, holds my phone up to my ear when I take a call. That's the first thing you thought of. So what would you like me to do as your new assistant?

I haven't really thought about it, but I will not be holding my own phone to my own ear. It sounds like you're going to be holding that for me. And when I'm texting, I just tap it like this. Ma'am, have you heard of AirPods? No, that's the fucking wrong energy. Ma'am, have you heard of AirPods? No. That's the fucking wrong energy. That is not mogul energy. You can hold the AirPods up to me. You can put them in.

Things you love to see. I've got a great you love to see it. And this is another instance of me being a mogul and dominating another industry. You posted a comment the other day on our Facebook group. I did. Yep. That if that comment got 1,000 likes.

Oh, yeah. How'd that go? I would do an Architectural Digest style house tour of your brand new Beyonce Airbnb. Airbnb, yeah. Because very excitingly, you and Bridget have just bought a house. Woo! Beyonce.

You're the mogul. You're the mogul. I'm the mogul. And you described it as Beyonce's Airbnb because it had very lush vibes. It is lush. We're very stoked. And it got 1,000 likes. Did it? Yes.

Fuck. Should have gone 10,000. But as an aside to this, somebody else commented and said, could Suburban Dad do the tour? No. So I'm pretty sure that in the next couple of weeks you're going to be seeing a full tour of, oh, actually, when do you settle?

Yeah, it'll be a month or so. In a couple of months. Yeah, a month. All right, so in a month or so. Suburban Dad's coming through and taking you through Ryan John's Beyonce Airbnb. I feel like Suburban Dad doing coming through and taking you through Ryan John's Beyonce Airbnb. I feel like Suburban Dad doing a tour of Beyonce. Like Beyonce and Suburban Dad don't.

I don't see the crossover. No, that's why it's funny. Yeah, no, I get it. Because I'll be like, oh, what the fuck, that's dirty. And you're going to go, that's marble, Suburban Dad. And I go, oh, I don't know about that. Looks like someone's shit on it or something. I know something.

I already know something that'll fuck Suburban Dad off. Okay. Well, I can't wait. And Suburban Dad and I are going to come through. Can I tell you what it is or do I not want to spoil it? What? What Suburban Dad won't have a bar of that I fucking love about it. Oh, yeah, go ahead.

The pool. The pool? Yeah. Because you know what sort of pool it is? A plunge pool. It's like a big round pool, not like a lap pool. The pool? Yeah. Because you know what sort of pool it is. A plunge pool. It's like a big round pool, not like a lap pool. You can't really do lap, but you can definitely, as I've described to Tony and friends,

we can stand in it and drink margaritas. It's a plunge pool. It's just like a hangout pool. Yeah. It's soak and sink piss. Yeah, but it's like if you had a little courtyard and you like snuck a pool in. But I feel like...

But it's deep though. It's deep. It's deep. It's not a spa. But I feel like. But it's deep though. It's deep. It's deep. It's not a spa. It's like, see, it's deep. You can jump in and we plunge into it. Yes. And whatever.

But I feel like a suburban dad is not going to respect the boutique smallness of the. Is that fair to. Well, I have to wait and see. Can you get a fucking jet ski in it? Well, that's a fucking point. You know what I'm saying? We'll see to wait and see. Can you get a fucking jet ski in it? Well, that's a fucking point. You know what I'm saying? We'll see how we go. But Suburban Dad is very looking forward to recording a tour of your Beyonce Airbnb.

That's not what I agreed to. I agreed to Tony Lodge. Tony Lodge, Suburban Dad. What did you love to see? Tapa Bron Capel is a live music photographer. That's her job. Oh, awesome. Is that the fucking coolest job ever?

Yes. Because there's always, like, the fence at the front of a gig and then between the fence and the stage. Yeah, and they can take the photos and stuff. Bron says, I've been doing this job for several years and it's great, but recently I got the call-up to photograph Kiss. Like, the Kiss. Holy shit.

On their final ever tour. Because they're doing their, like, global song, whatever. And she gets this call, like, hey, I heard you've been taking photos of bands. And she's like, yep. And they're like, someone's pulled out. Can you come on tour, blah, blah, blah, and take some photos? Yeah, who is it? It's Kiss.

Fuck. That is so sick. Right? How awesome. I was reading that going, holy shit, that's a cool thing. She'll have to share some photos that she took. I'd love to see them. Bron, send them through because we love to see that.

And what a great job. And what a phone call to get. Oh, yeah. My God, you'd be glad you didn't fucking let that one go to voicemail. And also, can I just say. Please. This has been such a great episode. I'm fucking pumped up about this ep.

If I haven't bought a sports team by the end of today. Oh, God. Bron goes, oh, I got this random phone call. Yeah. I'm going to put it out there. She's obviously really fucking good at what she does. Yeah, 100%. Kierce isn't just going Google local photographer.

Yeah, mate, you're free on Tuesday? Yeah, sweet. She's obviously quite good at her job. She didn't say that, but, like, I'm putting the pieces together. Yeah, mate, you're free on Tuesday? Yeah, sweet. She's obviously quite good at her job. She didn't say that, but, like, I'm putting the pieces together. Yeah. Bron, we're very proud of you. We're proud of you. Proud to have you on the team.

Proud to have you on the team. Not our sports team. That's a different model thing we're doing. Well, I know that live. Well, if we need any photos taken. I was going to say live music is her area, but maybe, like, live. Sport? Because that would be, that's a, that'd be hard, but awesome.

I tell you what gets me going. Sport. Because that would be, that's a, that'd be hard. But awesome. I tell you what gets me going. Yeah. Is like a really juicy, and because it's like finals time. Yeah. Like if it's a person's last game or it's that dramatic moment, that like really close up high def shot and there's like, you know. The mud's on them. Sweat and the tears.

Yeah. And just like. Oh, there's nothing like a juicy sports photo. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you for your support. Yeah. Tomorrow on the show. Oh, fuck me. Thank you for your support. Yeah. Tomorrow on the show.

Oh, fuck me. There's a turf war going on. A turf war? Yeah. About our sports team? No, no, no. Well, there could be a turf war there. But there's a turf war going on in my street,

and I feel like other people may have also experienced turf wars about parking in the street, and I need your advice. A contentious topic. A contentious topic. A contentious topic. And, Tony, you are going to have to choose how me and my neighbours retaliate against the big construction company. Oh, I'm in. Yeah?

Suburban Dutty. Yeah, get around him. All right, that's tomorrow on the show. Chat to you then. Love you. Bye.