Toni and Ryan - America Needs To Ban Shower Curtains

Episode Date: July 29, 2026

Taubs' surgery - Normal or nah - Ryan's invite - love ya!!!!!YouTube Live Stream - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwNv1dz1a1oSign up to Patreon Here - www.patreon.com/ToniandRyanFAQ and T&C's PODCASTAWAY - www.toniandryan.com.au/podcastawayVideo for this EP is available on YOUTUBECheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

No one's ever used the word cute and shower curtains in the same fucking sentence. I don't like it when you're in a weird bathroom and they touch you like a wet ghost. They get stuck to you. They're covered in fucking mold. Shower curtains. Out for 2027. Out for life. Hi.

I'm Mackenzie from Golden Australia. Hi. I'm Josie from the Sunshine Coast Australia. Hi. I'm Leanne from West Colon in Canada. And I approve this podcast. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. Beow!

Poo! We got normal or nigh coming up and I've got an invitation for Tony that she doesn't know about yet. An invitation? Oh my God. I've already said too much. That's coming up soon. Well, everything's okay. I should need to say that at the very top.

Everything is all right. Why does that make me feel like it's not okay? I know your asshole tightens up. My husband had a little surgery yesterday. Yep. He's okay. He gets kidney stones. He had to have him pull up.

through his back. As I said earlier, the word pulverized is just... I'm so sorry, Danny, that you'd just eaten something. I really do apologize. You just turn around with like a mouthful of purpose. I'm so sorry.

The word pulverized in a medical setting is he out when they're pulverizing? Yeah, yeah. So he was fully under anaesthetic. I just doesn't mind me telling you this. It's fine. And because he gets kidney stones, he's had them for a long time,

but he had a really big one. And they're like, if that drops, everything's going to rupture and you need to go to emergency straightaway and they're going to have to do emergency surgery. Luckily, he was, able to get in in time.

They like blast it with like, um, like ultrasonic waves. It's actually really interesting. And that breaks down the big stone in his kidney. And then it kind of filters out just as your kidneys would naturally filter out like anything. Um,

anyway. So it's not invasive in the way that they like cut into or anything. Mm. But it's very invasive in the way that he's in a lot of pain now. I bet, yeah. But he went in for the surgery yesterday and he goes, they were like, oh, who's going to come pick you up? And he goes, my wife. And his wife, that's me, was there to pick him up, obviously. I did an excellent job. But after they take him through into the thing, I have to leave and he's just like messaging me, sending me a little updates. And, um,

Ryan, what's like a recent update in Torbs's look, would you say? He has a bald head. He has a fully shaved head. Yeah. And they send him through and they go like, oh, yeah, we'll weigh. You take your blood pressure and everything. And then they go, oh, and we've got a little gown for you to wear standard. And they go, oh, and some socks and and a little hairnet. So Tops sends me this photo of him.

This makes me so angry. It is. Why is it making me so angry? It's so funny. So. If you're bald, you don't. need a hairnet. But he's got a beard.

Put the hairnet on his chin. So he goes off. Heaven forbid any hair gets out. He says to the nurse, oh, do I need the hairnet because I'm like, I've got a fully shaved head. He touched it up yesterday before he left and he shaved his head as well. Shiny dome. And they go, it's procedure.

And he goes, well, yeah, like, you know. What about the hair on my face that is exposed? compared to the no hair on my head that is not exposed because it doesn't exist. So I've got the, he sent me another photo as well. Oh, put it on. And it's just him showing off his no hair under there. Did he send you a photo of it on his chin? No, he didn't.

He didn't. But he did send me that this, that you're looking at now is actually a boomerang. What a throwback. I said I didn't even know they still make those. They still make boomerangs. And it's him taking the fear. But I lost it. I'm like, hey, how funny is the hairnet with no hair?

He goes, I already said something. They said it's procedure. A boomerang? Hang on, sorry, a boomerang stormy. After the boomerang, did he have a fucker cheer? With Brian Cranberry. And then he made dagon a coffee while he was in lockdown. Like, what are you fucking talking?

about. It was just, and I was like, hairnet's an interesting choice. He goes, I've already spoken to them about it. That is so funny. Yeah. Is he still wearing it at home? No, he didn't bring the hairnet home.

We need to get a shower cap for Mabel. We've just realized. You can get such cute ones. Can you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wasn't you, Torbs bring that one home? You can get really, really cute shower curtain, a shower, shower curtains.

No one's ever used the word cute and shower curtains in the same fucking sentence. And here's why. I don't like it. when you're in a weird bathroom and they touch you like a wet ghost they get stuck to you they're covered in fucking mold and you're in an air b-nb it's got someone else's hair on it is it the bottom supposed to go in the shower or out of the shower i need to know no one does no one knows no one's doing the same thing because if it's on the outside the water drips out yeah it's on the inside i'd rather kill myself because it's touching me don't flap away at my naked body

Don't flap away at my naked body Never a truer all words been spoken Shower curtains Out for 2027 Out for life So true Out for life In fact if I see a sour curtain

I'm going to snip the top of them I prefer a happy curtain I'm going to get a sweet and sour curtain I'm going to snip the top Oh you know what we got for dinner actually So after that I was like oh Sorry nothing you can say now is going to sound like I want to eat

it because I've seen a bald head a shower cap and thought about shower curtain sticking to my wet leg. I'm not hungry. I know, but just then when you said, unless it's crunchy nut with white pistachio chocolate milk. You've eaten that every day and you need to stop. You're an absolute mess. Can't stop.

Won't stop. When you just said sweet and sour curtain, obviously sweet and sour chicken is what came into my mind. Three. But it's not what we got, but. Two. Yep. One.

Japanese curry with sweetened sour sauce. No. We got Japanese curry on udon noodles. That's fucking awesome. Oh, yum with a little pork cutler. Yum. What's it going? But yeah, so the hairnet has been doing rounds in our family at the moment because it is just so funny to me.

Is it a honeymoon hairnet? It's a bonus. He goes, we just got married and they go, oh, have we got the perfect thing for you? We'll get the gold one. Yeah. The diamond-encrusted hairnet. We'll get the one with love hearts on it. Thanks to everyone.

Oh, my socks have love hearts on them today. Oh, mine are pink. because I love you. Oh, mine are love you because they're pink. Sorry. Thanks to everyone who sends their normal or nars through. They can be sent.

You're keeping the lights on. Free shower curtains for all. What a horrible gift. Yeah. If someone often. Have your Patreon back. Yeah. If someone said here's shower curtain,

I'd go, no thanks. No, thank you. All good. Charles, you got a shower curtain at your house. Uh-huh. You got a, ma. I got a glass.

Yes, like, ooh, someone's doing it. Yeah. Does your grandfather pay for that? Is there a shower curtain an American thing? I feel like the chances of you having a shower curtain are way higher in the northern America. My grandparents have one in their house. Where do they live?

Birmingham, Alabama. Wellington, New South Wales. It's the Alabama of regional New South Wales. Is that your rich grandparents? Like granddaddy? Grandfather. It's my grandfather, yes, but he's not rich. Compared to the neighbors.

Is this like their, where the help lives or something is where the shower curtain is? No, it is in, it's not, they've got an onsuit in their room, but in like other bathroom. Oh, the other bathroom. You got three? Charles, for the purposes of this joke. She actually has two in a powder room, thanks, Charles. Don't you? And that's what they have.

They've got two at a powder room. She's got two bathrooms and a specific room to put thing up her nose. So you're right to say put things up her eyes. ask. Oh, there's another room for that. Yeah. There's no choice in that one. Yeah.

That's going into the butt room rather than going out. All right. Our normal or nars, thanks for submitting them to the Tony and Ryan Facebook group. There's a thread or at Tonyerion.com.com. Thank you for submitting them to the Facebook group. Thank you for submitting them to the Facebook group. You've got bother me off. The term vagina juice.

Tapa Kali asks normal or nah. obviously it is what it is grow up everyone but those words in particular my other half has started saying it very casually and I think it's a nah from me um sorry when Kaylee has said obviously that is what it is well like it's not just it's not normal or nah about vagina juice is it we they're saying or when you have a like wet June I think the second one yeah okay but I think it's more the term normal nah rather than

the having I don't say vagina juice I'd maybe say pussy because I'd say juicy pussy when the fuck

would you say that like that when the fuck would you say that like that give me some context give me the two sentences

before you said that you know in popular culture when we all started saying that's what good pussy sounds like? No. Yes.

Whap? Yes. Yes. In fact, there's a real of you saying that when I was trying to sound like a mouse. Yeah. I, yeah, that's what good pussy sounds like. Before we started saying that's what good pussy sounds like, I would have said, that sounds like a juicy pussy. Again, I'm going to need the two sentences before that.

That's the sound and then I would say that. But where's the sound coming from? Well, just like, if you're, Mac's it. Macaroni in a pot. That's a wet ass pussy. You know. Okay. If you're cooking and it sounds like that or you, you know.

And you say that's a juicy booze. Yeah. Who's laughing? That was Tommy. It was Tommy. That's what good pussy sounds like. That's what good pussy sounds like. I love Vine.

Bring Vine back. It's coming back. Yeah, they say that every. That's what they said about neighbors. They also said they're bringing back a. sequel to Biodome. Do you know what? That is a blast from the past and we talked about it two days ago.

Like I could not have forgotten about something faster. Yeah. I've moved on to the Flintstones. What's there to latch on to remember, you know? That's what I, it made my brain smooth. And I didn't have that many squigglys in there to begin with. There's not much going on up here. It's like a juicy pussy.

Speaking of a juicy pussy. I've got a normal an R from Tape, Anna. Hi, Anna. Hating the sound of people eating fruit. That is what good pussy sounds like. Zapa Anna says, is this normal? The crunch of an apple might be my villain origin story. It drives me crazy.

Of all the things in life that fuck me off, hearing people eat is shockingly not really one of them. That is shocking that that doesn't fuck you off. Yeah, and I'm quite sensitive to noise. Like, if things are too loud or, If there's too many noises going on at one time, I, like, really lock. I do a fully shut down. Now, I hate to bring up a bad memory.

No, please. And I agree that you're surprisingly not fucked off by the sound of eating fruit. So. Imagine you're on a train and a guy sits next to you and starts eating a mango. But that's not the sound. That's that I just think mango is private. Yeah. Because it looks like you're eating out a juicy.

What if before he... Why are we both holding our hands? Like we've got massive cans in them? Yeah. Yeah, I love titties. Ugh. I licked my microphone. Yucky.

Yarky. What if he's about to launch into this mango on the train? You're sitting next to him. Yeah. And he looks over and he goes up. He just goes to bite. But before he does, he looks over you and goes, this is gonna sound like a juicy purse.

and then goes in. I mean, at least I would laugh. True. What was that? That's me eating with Mango. Mango is Charles' favorite food. Do you agree, Charles, that that is for private? I do, yeah.

I wouldn't, like, I don't think I've brought a mango in here. But remember that Patreon stream early this year? When we tried to see if we could eat a mango? How could we forget? Yeah, I'm sorry. That stays new. What have you done to your microphone over there? I really gave it a big link.

Yeah. So I'm married now. I've got to grow up. No. Oh, thanks. Yeah, but surprisingly, if all the things that fuck me off, eating sounds is not one of them. But when I crunch into an apple,

the sound engineering me pops up and I go, fuck, that would have sounded great. Oh, because it was a really crisp bite. Good crunch. Yeah. It's the same when you crunch into a really good grape. I don't know if it's the same feeling, but when Mabel and I high-five and it's a really crisp, like...

Well, remember when we were dapping? Let's... Should we see if we can do it? Charles, get this on the... Call YouTube. Get them down here. What's up, Doug? Hey, man.

That was okay. First dab since we got married. Not us. Ah! We didn't get married. I got a normal or not here from... Hillary. Hillary Duff?

Yeah. This is... What dreams are made of. I made a bunch of reels at the Colosseum about Hillary Duff. Should I post those? I remember you telling us... I made all this funny stuff and then I just didn't post it. How come?

I just forgot about it. And I found them the other day and I was like, fuck I should post those. How is that also? Yeah, then everyone all think you're on a honeymoon in Rome. Yeah, that's true. Just a casual third Europe trip in three months. I've also got a bunch of photo dumps from like Ireland and London and Italy that I really want to post. You're going to have to save them for a 20-26 wrap-up.

Are we, yeah, are my two-five gone now? I think there's rules about that. Is there? Like a statute of limitations? I think there is. You don't reckon, Charles? Well, you're cooler than us, so I agree with you. I reckon you've got,

there's that couple of weeks when you get back, when you can do a wrap-up dump. Yeah. Or there's the end of a month where you can do, oh, July dump. Yeah. Yep. I, because at the moment, I've just posted a wedding dump, isn't it?

Yeah. So I feel like Like when it pops up on someone's feed Do they know if it got posted yesterday or three months ago? That is actually a very good point If something is posted on LinkedIn If you see it It either got posted today or three weeks ago

Yeah Nothing in between Explain that to me Post the dump on LinkedIn Post it on LinkedIn And everyone listening Go and gas it up I'm not posting it on LinkedIn

Here's what getting Fing it in Ireland taught me about B2B marketing. I think I'm still bad for Blicted. Hillary. Tidying up in the shops even when you didn't mess them up. Normal or nah.

Normal. If I see something misplaced, I return it to its proper shelf. Seeing mess makes me overwhelmed. When it's easy fix, it's an easy fix. Retail Tetris gives me peace. No, I like that. You know the other thing that I'll always do? If I get the last one of something and there's,

another box there. I'll like collapse the box of the last one that I got and I'll pull the other one forward. That service. You've got to. What I'll do, because I'm not as generous as that, but you know what? Oh, I think I just felt my IUD move. Sorry. Oh, that was really weird. Unless you're not still in there, especially after the last week you've had. Here comes the bride. And how? So if there's like, I'm going to pretend that I didn't hear. Yeah. So say there's a whole bunch of stuff and you reach, and you have it's like down the back,

like you really have to reach down the shelf. I'll like get the one I want at a supermarket. I'm like, yeah. So you got to reach to the end of the shelf because they're like, it's almost sold out kind of thing. Yeah. I'll like get the one I want and then I'll get the other ones and like pull them to the front. No, that's nice. Yeah.

That's classy. Yeah, thank you. Yeah, that's classy. What are you doing, Charles? I actually break the box and put it underneath. That's what I do. Yeah. Like underneath the whole rack.

Yep. So you're a Coles boy, hey? Is that just something that when you've worked in a supermarket, it's almost like this default, like, oh. Maybe. Like, it's what I did when I, like, worked at the supermarket. It might be, like, it's kind of, like, drilled into you. But, I mean, I didn't work in, like, I didn't do the shelves. Neither.

Next week. Next Tuesday. Yeah. We have a confession. Speaking of what happens in the supermarket. Staying in the supermarket. A Tapa, who says when I was in my younger 20s and my hot slut era, I worked at Woolworth supermarket and I did something really crazy that no one knew about.

Oh. That's next Tuesday. No more now. Hooking me through. Normal. There won't be a dry seat in the house. Get your splash pad out. I'm Mackenzie from Golden Australia.

Hi, I'm Leanne from West Colonna, Canada. Hi, I'm Josie from the Sunshine Coast Australia and you're listening to Tony Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our fellow splash pad lovers, Rachel Keog. What up, splashes? You're not type of. as any more, he splashes.

By the way, everybody in the world who loves the podcast, watches the videos, gets amongst us, whether you listen every day or just sometimes, you're a tarpa. You will always be a tarpa. Tony and Ryan podcast, Er. I'll love you forever. And we do. We already actively do. Look at Charles.

Look how happy he is. Yeah, we took him off the streets. We took him off the streets. He's a tarpa. Not anymore, though. Hates the podcast now. Danielle was a tarpa. Daniel, again, was a tarpa.

And Tommy's going to get married to a tarpa. Yeah, he loves his. I fucked it up. Fleming me one. She was a tapper and then she met us now she's like, no, she doesn't care. Now she doesn't so we mean. We went out for dinner with her and I think undid any goodwill we'd build up over the years.

Yeah. Her and I stole a bunch of stuff from a restaurant, which I thought was going to link us cosmically forever and I think it has. What did you still? We stole quite a bit of stuff from the Gordon Ramsey restaurant. Really? Yeah. If I find out you guys.

got one of those fucking cats. We didn't get one of the little cats because they've glued them down now. Yeah, and they were big. That wouldn't have fit in her bagu. But we did steal a bit of other stuff. Anyway. Did someone steal the Nogroni dice? No, they took that away straight away.

They knew. They know. They know what people are interested in. Anyway, but if you, if any of that applies to you, you're a Ta-Pah and we fucking love you. However, we do also have a Patreon where we post some extra contents and BTS stuff of us making the podcast. there's going to be live streams, group chats

and Tony replies to every DM. Yep. So if you want to be part of the Patreon, you can be. You're a tap-up through and through regardless. Yep. Now everyone who is a champion taper, every month had a chance to enter

our Fiji trip. And this week is the last week because the July winners, when's July end? Saturday night. Saturday night, depending on time zone chat. Oh,

fuck now so we're not fucking with that yeah yeah this month yeah it's our love charles is throwing something away your last chance so if you want to join us in patreon and throw your hat in the ring to come to Fiji we would love to have you if you want to join us and then like just for your chance to Fiji watch a video and then fuck off next month yeah also we'll allow it also if you join you have access to everything we've ever posted it's been going for four years there's a lot of shit there's a lot of stuff in there that you can go back and catch up on I mean a lot of great stuff lot of shit lot of great stuff. Like everything that you could think of.

So if you want to check it out, you're more than welcome to be a champion Tapper or an exclusive Tapper. But if you're happy just being a Tapper, then we fucking love to see it. Now, 6pm on Saturday night, Melbourne time, which is whatever the fuck time it is, wherever the fuck you live. Charles has got a link in the show notes that is to a world clock.

It will tell you exactly when that is in your time zone. Great. But we're going live on YouTube. It's just the YouTube league. So you can, it'll give you a countdown. A countdown. Or as we call it, a countdown. Here's a few of our champion type as though that we hope that we see in Fiji.

Rachel Keogh, thank you very much, Rachel. Helena Thompson, good on you, Helena. Ian Koshelan, I'll fucking allow that because we love you. Kerry Keat, good on you, Kerry. Good on you, Madison, Craig, good on you, Madison. Jocelyn Downs, all the way Downs, and all the way up. I went Jocelyn Downs on her. Jessica, good on you, Jessica.

Hannah Hawes. Charles is fucking met you, I reckon. Tia, Edgar, good on you, Tia. Rosa. Toasty feel and Jill tea as charged. That is a great name. Which is so funny and should be a drag queen name. Everyone named Jill from now on I will call them Jilty as charged.

Yeah, it's very good. So good. Tony's wedding has been and gone, obviously, an amazing night. Thank you. I've recently sobered up from the evening. I think I'm still pooing out food from that day. Very rich, very rich food. It was stunting.

amazing but very rich but I think what was fantastic is my wife Bridget your best friend Tim Collins are sort of the same person strangely but don't realize that they're mates I had dinner with Tim and Bridget and Cam 10 years ago in Bamboree they both don't remember

they've been at a cafe at the same time and they're going oh Bridget's gone I don't want to interrupt him Tim goes oh it's Bridgett she probably doesn't remember me and both of them text me separately. Yeah. And Bridget said, I saw Tim today, but didn't want to say hi because he didn't think he'd remember me. Tim messaged me and said, saw Bridget today, didn't want to say hi, didn't think

she'd remember me. They're also both the two biggest fans in the world of Outlander. Yes. And Bridget doesn't really have like an Outlander, bro. Yeah. I don't even know what it is. Yeah. And it's fucking sucks, but they can like it good on them.

Yeah. But what I love about weddings and times like this is like those, oh, they're from the other side of the family. They're from the, oh, finally those people who were meant to be together have found each other and they've broken the bread and they've ripped the awkwardness off and blah-blah. And so I don't know if you heard us talking later in the evening

but now that we're all getting along so well and having fun and Tim now lives near... And after 65 cocktails. Yeah. And we kind of live near each other. Yes. Do you remember the chats of like, we should go out? Isn't that a classic on a night out day?

We should catch up. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly, exactly. There's a place in Eltham called Little Drop of Poison. You've been there for your birthday. Oh, in there for my birthday?

Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they've got all these, like, cute, cup-y seats. Because it's a bit of, like, little cocktail, little snack, like a little cute little. A bit, like warm and sexy kind of energy. A little bit. A little bit. And there's another one in Eltham called Bar, however the fuck you pronounce it. It's like.

They're also little two seed of things, but both of them have the one big booth. Oh, so it's like if there's a few of you, You've got to get in quick. And you get the booth. And we've always, it's just been Bridget and I. But you know, you kind of go, oh, one night, let's get a bunch of us and let's get the booth. Yeah. So I've got an invitation for you.

Because, you know, everyone's come together and stuff. Yeah. Oh my God. I would love to come. Yeah. So Tim and his partner, Cam. Yeah. Me and my wife, Bridget.

Yeah. We would love to invite you. to babysit Mabel why the four of us go out I thought I was getting invited to the big booth What I'm not invited to the big booth Oh yeah live in Altham so it's that be And like new friends

Like we said to love them And you love Mabel and Knight Taub's like Oh I won't see you in Fiji better hang out Instead Well I would absolutely love to look after Mabel Yeah absolutely Great So hang on

So I Have I like redundant sized myself from this friendship. So like the four of you were going to go hang out. Well, the four of us get along really well. And what I also didn't realize. What about me? You get along with me?

Oh, pump the break, Shannon and all. But Bridget and Cam, they have. He didn't even know his name. You don't even know his name. No. But they get along really well because they're both like the gardeners of the couple and they were like comparing notes and Bridget's going to go around and help with his gut because he's growing vegetables and stuff.

And she's like, I don't give a. Fuck. Yeah, but they're friends. I was like, yeah, well, let's all the four of us go hang out. I invite you to my wedding. Yeah. That I had no one at, basically. We didn't have no one.

You had us. Well, a very few people. Yeah, and look at you bringing people together. And what I like to live my life by is not leaving anyone out. And just like you, we bring people together. And if we can bring Tim and Cam and Bridgett's, together and make new friends and have a really great time and a drink and a that sounds awesome so basically what you're saying is that you want to recreate my wedding but without me

Tim will be wearing a white dress he would too yeah he also has a wig that is stylized after my hair yes he wore it to the cricket right yeah oh that yeah okay okay no you know what Best friend is a tier and we can all be friends. Yeah, me and Tim are best friends now. That's amazing. No, that's awesome. That's awesome. I hope you guys have a great time.

Let me know what time I should pick up maybe. Oh, we'll drop her off. You don't have to come over. Is she staying the night? If that's alright, because I'm not planning on driving. Do you need tools to come drive you or something? Would he? Yeah, sure.

I mean, we're not busy. You both come to pick us up And I'm like, where's Mabel? Like, she's asleep back in our way? Yeah. You had one job. Do you guys want to go through the magistrate to? Like we're trying to be the fun parent.

Nah, say, of course I can look after Mabel. Hypothetically. Nothing hypothetical about it. You've showed what side of the fence you're on. I'm about to say something. And I would encourage you to... Actually, is there any things you'd like to say? before I have a final

No, I hope you guys have a great time And I truly mean that It's just a bit of a shock And that's okay We're allowed to have a bit of a shock This is allowed to be a little bit of shock Is there anything you would like to say? No

We're friends and friendships based on honesty No, I know, I know And that's why I'm saying I'm allowed to have a little bit of shock But truly I hope that you do have a great time Tim is the best You are amazing Bridget is wonderful

and Cam is also awesome. I love all four of you and I would love for you to have a great time together. And I would love to help facilitate that by looking after your beautiful daughter. Thank you. Who I consider my own family. Who I consider my daughter.

I was like, wow, yeah. Like, I appreciate the sentiment, but she's not. But she's not. You have to give her back. Hypothetically. What? If Mandy Dunn, my mum, was available, Mabel's yaya

And we know Mabel Love staying at mum's place Should I invite mum to come to the bar with us? You know that? That was Frankie Jason No you know that in my head I thought you were going to ask me Obviously that is clear

That's what you meant I was going to be like Charles you should also come And babysit Pippa and Mabel If my mum is available Which I... You know what? I would love for

for your mum to go to dinner with you, Bridget Tim and Cam, you'll have a great time. Nah, she'll be busy. You'll have a great time. No, you'll have an excellent time. I'll call you mum now. No, she's busy.

I'll call your mum now and I'll say, Ryan would love to invite me to dinner. It's both playing on her. I've just thrown Tony. You want to fuck with me. I'll fuck with you. I'll invite your mum. Call me and you'll have.

And you will have an excellent time. If my mum is available, would you and Tobbs like to join us in the booth. You want to come in the booth? That's not a euphemism, by the way. I'll have to see if I'm free. You're like, because we'd really like for you to pay.

Well, one of the best things about going out for dinner for Tony's wedding is she paid for it. And it was an absolute pleasure. And when we go to the booth to say thank you, we will be using split-wise. No, we'll split it. Absolutely. I think it's the best way to travel. It really is. Yeah.

No, but the, um... Have we pitched split-wise for a fucking advertising something? Lily! Lily, write that down! She got it. Split-wise is a good one. Also, Daniel, have you paid me back yet? Okay.

There was a delay on the payment because I forgot to give her my bank data. Well, yeah. Well, Tommy and Miggs paid me afterwards, and then they said, I'm so sorry this is like, it was my fault. I didn't give you my information. Have you got it? You love to see it. I do actually have an excellent.

You love to see it. And it's that... Is it the menu at Little Drop of Poison? It's that... Tapa Tony has sent this in. She said, I love to see that I just got invited out for dinner with my friends. No, Tarp of Rach Dixon has said, can I have a brag moment? I'm feeling good about myself. Is it still the year of being smug?

Oh, I think that was last year, but I... It continues on, I love it. But I think, like, can you have a brag moment? Hell fucking yeah. Absolutely, you fucking can. perfect place. That's what you love to see it is. It's not humble brag.

Yeah. And so what we're going to do, before I read this out, we're going to go, Rache, Rache, Rache, Rache, Rache, Rage, Rage, Rage, Rage, Rage, Rage, Rage, Rage, Rage, Rage, Rage, Rage, Rage, Rage, Rage, Rage, Rage. Woo! Rachel had a beautiful baby boy four years ago. He, this is her word, he was a giant baby. And since then, I've struggled with. with my new body, my mental health and all that stuff,

and finding my identity and who I was as a mum. Yeah. This year, Rach says, I'm feeling fucking fab. I have consistently been going to the gym. I've gotten into reading and got an epic promotion at work. Fuck yeah. I was driving to work the other day and I just thought, fuck I'm proud of myself.

I love to see that. I love to see that. Because often we achieve all these excellent things. And if us a year ago or five years ago could see where we were at now, we'd be like, well, there's just no way. But we don't remember to celebrate that. And I love that you were just driving to work and you're like, you know what? No, I'm fucking killing it.

Rach says, I feel like you guys have created a safe place for TARPers to share things that they're proud of. And I am so touched to hit. That's my fucking love to see it. Obviously, all the shit that you've achieved, Rachel, that's amazing. but yes, you should feel free to brag here. This is the safest group chat on earth. Call the marketing department. Dunny.

The safest group chat on earth. Well, fucking, I'll take the rest of the week off. Thank you, except for the live stream on Saturday. And the reaction video tomorrow too. Or, and if you wanted to go to dinner tonight, I'm free. Okay. Be that. Sorry, a little bit of piss came out.

It's okay. I've got splash pad on. Sorry, yeah, nah. So anytime you're having a rough day, Tony, or you're just like, a bit tired or a bit, you know, well gets overwhelming. Totally. The day you're having today is the world you couldn't have possibly ever have dreamed

for yourself five years ago. Oh, never. Someone goes, oh, you do this, you're married, you're doing that. having dinner with Tim and Ryan. Like all my dreams have come true. Oh my God. Yeah. And it really is incredible.

Yep. I love my life so much. I'm so happy. And like, trigger warning, I guess. There were so many times where I was like, I don't know if this world has anything for me. Fuck, that's grim. I, sorry.

And what do we have for you? Sorry, that is fucking grim. I didn't mean to say that. like in a group but like you think the world doesn't have anything for you and then one day you wake up and there is pistachia and white chocolate flavored and your friends are in a big booth and you're not invited but like there were times where I was like I don't I think that might be me and oh my God thank God that I had people around me that made me feel really seen and that I like am here and now there are typas that say that to us and I go well what a

fucking privilege it is to be someone that can keep you company when you need it. Sorry. Are there any more world-changing slogans you'd like to drop? No. Because you're on a fucking roll. Yeah, I'm on a heater right now. That's a sports term. All right.

Well, no, I was actually sitting on that heater just before. Can people see that heater in the shop? I burn me labia off. No, they can't. My love to see it is, well, it doesn't start. There was a dog in the river and he couldn't get out. Um, but that's not a you. No, I'm not laughing.

I'm not laughing. Charles, can you just roll the tape and Tony? What, what are you saying here? Look at these guys. Group of strangers. We're all just walking. Guy goes, oh. And the puppies in a water.

I'm going to dive in. You hold my legs, boys. Oh, they've got him. They've got. All these people don't know each other, by the way, Tone. They were just walking along and heard the dog yelp. Now, that is so beautiful. Imagine.

Obviously, they've saved dogs. and it's amazing but I'm more like this guy's upside down hanging by his ankles and people that he didn't know 30 seconds ago I hang on to him we gotcha we're in and then when they get the dog up they're like high-fiving and clapping and they're like oh how good and um that little doggy was stuck and now and play it again look at his tail wagging yeah like he knows he's being rescued wait because he looks so scared there and then he's like they've got me yeah oh the little doggy don't you just love to see that how beautiful The world is excellent.

Yeah. Some of it. Yeah. Don't open Twitter. Charles, what have you got? Did you bring something? I do. No.

He's not coming to the best. I've got a lot to sleep from Charles. Someone from YouTube is taking him out for lunch and paying. Yeah, actually, Slay. Slay. Were you invited? I'm looking after Charles's daughter, apparently, on the day. I'm busy.

All right. We'll see you. tomorrow for you'll love to see it. And we're live. Try not to laugh on YouTube. And we're live

on Saturday. Also on YouTube. Saturday night, Melbourne time. We'd love to hang out with you live. We can chat to you because podcasts are pre-recorded.

We can respond in real time. We recorded this three years ago. Yeah. Mabel 17. And I hope Hawthorne's just won its third premiership of the 20s. When do we start referring

to them as the 20s? I hope never. I don't like that. Mm. Because the 20th were too recent was Gatsby. Yeah, and that feels too recent. Yeah, that feels like 40 years ago.

Yeah. It was 100 years ago. Prohibition. So, see ya. That was really weird. Love you bye, dude. Was that weird? Sort of.

Oh, we can get about that. That's fun. That's fine.