Toni and Ryan - A😱N😱L in the kitchen?!?!

Episode Date: November 23, 2021

A misleading title that you would have seen coming if you listened to the last two episodes. Crushing boxes and built in underwear - plus we have agreed to our next challenge. Love ya! Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello? Hello, is this Laura? Hi, this is Laura. Hey, it's Tony and Ryan calling from Australia. How are you? I am good. How are you? Yeah, we're well.

Laura, it's so great to chat. What are you doing? Where are you? I'm in Massachusetts, about an hour outside of Boston. Boston. Boston. Are you originally from Boston, Laura? And what do you think of Toni's accents? I think she does a great job. Oh, thanks, Laura. I'd really try my hardest.

Is that good? No, that's not Laura. I'd really try my hardest. Is that good? No, that's not good. That was good. I will say I don't have much of a Boston accent anyway, but I think you do a good job. Thank you. Oh, I like her. This isn't good, Laura.

Now you've puffed her up with confidence. She's going to be unbearable for me to hang out with for the rest of the day. Sorry. Also, I'd like to note that we were originally booked in to call you on the 25th of December and because that was, it's auto scheduled and stuff. For every Saturday, yeah.

And then we realised that probably most people will be busy. So we thought we'd call today instead. Hopefully that's worked out for everyone. It does. I was so excited when I booked it because that would be Christmas Eve my time and that would be my birthday. I was like, oh my god this is amazing. It does. I was so excited when I booked it because that would be Christmas Eve my time and that would be my birthday. I was like, oh, my God, this is amazing.

Oh, well, I thought I was doing you a favor and now I feel bad. Now I feel really bad about all of you. Well, happy birthday, Larry. No harm, no foul. Thanks. Can I ask, though, does it get annoying? Does your family give you a present for both? No, my family was really good.

The hardest part was my brother, who's younger. His birthday is also in December. So we had joint birthday parties. And it was always closer to his birthday because no one was ever available around my birthday. Of course. Yeah, that really sucks. I'm so sorry.

Wouldn't understand. Adopted, don't have siblings. Yeah. It must be really hard for you, Laura. Yeah, sorry about that really sucks. I'm so sorry. Wouldn't understand. I'm adopted. Don't have siblings. Don't have siblings. Yeah. It must be really hard for you, Laura. Yeah, sorry about that, Laura. But, I mean, we're headed to America at the end of 2023.

Yes, for the wedding, right? Yeah, exactly right, Laura. Thank you so much. I'm so excited about it. Maybe we could catch up. We should go to Massachusetts. Have a birthday drink. It'll be in, like, October. Yeah, we'll come to Boston.

We'll get you a cream pie, Boston cream pie, and we'll have a birthday party for Laura. That sounds fantastic. Yeah, and your brother's not invited. It's just for you. Oh, no, he can get far. Yeah, absolutely not. No way.

All right, so, Laura, Ella's not invited. It's just for you. Nah, he can get fucked. Yeah, I don't like it. Absolutely not. No way. All right, so Laura, we were wondering if we could get your approval to start the podcast. Oh, my God, 100% I approve this podcast. Absolutely. But thank you so much for supporting us. As we've mentioned sort of on the show and stuff, like we have a full-time job. We'd love to do this like ongoing and a bit more.

So having people support us is definitely getting a big lofty dream closer to maybe actually happening and being our job. So thank you so much for supporting. And thank you. Yeah, I love listening to you guys. Thanks so much for calling. You're welcome. You're welcome.

Well, have a great night, Laura. And sorry we'll miss you on Christmas. Thank you. Oh, that's okay. It's fine. Can I just go with, can I do one joke before we hang Christmas. Oh, that's okay. It's fine. Can I just go with, can I do one joke before we hang up? Oh, absolutely. Yes.

It doesn't have to go on air, but I read it and I thought it was funny. Okay. Hey, Tony, what comes after 69? I don't know. What does come after 69? Mouthwash. Start the podcast. Start the podcast!

Hey, it's Laura from Massachusetts, and I approve this podcast. There are two types of people in this world, and depending on what you do in the kitchen, you're either normal or a complete monster. Oh. What? This normal or nah is... What are the two? I'll get to it in a second.

Quickly, Tony, if you were to introduce me, say you were, like, introducing me to, like, a crowd. Oh, okay. Or, like, if me to, like, a crowd. Oh, okay. Or, like, if I came to your workplace for Christmas drinks and they're like, oh, Tony, introduce your friend. Yeah, oh, this is my best mate, Ryan. But, like, if you were doing the spiel, like, say imagine you were introducing me to stage

and you were kind of giving, like, you know, the mini bio. Oh, okay. Guys, you are going to absolutely love this guy. This is my best mate, Ryan. He's a radio announcer. He's done heaps of stuff for charity. He's a huge creator online after sharing his story about being adopted. And, yeah, just such a dear friend of mine and co-host

of the very popular Tony and Ryan podcast, my mate, Ryan. Oh, you're great at that. Thank you. Especially straight off the cuff. Oh, yeah. I'd be the same, though. What would you say about me? Ladies and gentlemen,

one of the funniest, yet most supportive and kindest people you'll meet. The world is a better place for having her in it, and now this room is graced with her presence. Ladies and gentlemen, Tony Felicia Lodge. And everyone claps. But you got to plan yours, so mine wasn't as eloquent, but.

I didn't, well, that's what I would say. Oh, that's really nice. So we can agree that I'm great at introducing people? Oh, well, yeah. Yeah? Okay. That we both are? Well, you did a better job, but.

So I am good at introducing people? Yeah. Great. So we've got a question here from gay bar loiterer and serial orgeous George Wendell. He says, was that a whole thing worth it? I hope so. When I...

Was that all for that? Yeah. Mate, I'll say it. I've said it before, I'll say it again. Long walk around for a short drink of water. Gay bar loiterer and serial orgeist George Wendell. You're talking about George Wendell? Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, of course, George Wendell. Sorry, someone's George Wendell? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, of course. George Wendell. Sorry, someone's calling me. Who would call me at this time? Who's calling you? It's George Wendell. Hey, mate.

Stop mentioning the orgy. It wasn't George Wendell. Although I created a new name for George Wendell. Oh, did you? Because we know him from the gay orgies. Is it George Wendell? It's George W. Hates Bush. That's actually quite funny.

But why do you? Maybe you should have shown that with a laugh. But why do you? I'll just sit here in silence. I was so fucking impressed with myself when I thought of that. George W. Hates Bush. Tough crowd tonight. Luckily I heard it, the audio.

So this is what, George has a normal or nah. Oh. When I put a small box into the recycling, like, you know, when the frozen food comes in or something. Oh, yeah, yeah. I always collapse the box. Fold it, cut the corners, whatever you need to do. So you squash it down so it almost becomes like one thick piece

of cardboard rather than a whole box. Yeah. Because then it more efficiently packs into the recycling bin so you can fit more things into it. Yeah. My roommate, however, just lobs the box into the rubbish bin. Were you fucking raised in a barn? Am I crazy or am I normal that I want to spend an extra 30 seconds

to collapse the box to make it easier? That's George Wendell saying normal or not? Not even 30 seconds. That's normal. You've got to collapse the box, especially if you live in an apartment where other people are trying to get their shit into a bin as well. If two people put a box into a big skip, that's it. The skip's done.

Full. You might as well go fuck yourself and keep all the rubbish in your house like a little piggy. And George Wendell lives with this guy. Fuck him off. Get rid of him? Go back to the sex parties, George Wendell, I reckon. You'd have more manners at an orgy than in your kitchen, mate.

Well, he's gay, isn't he? So he's not worried about boxes. No, that's so normal. Yeah. To spend the time collapsing that box. So do you think, what do you think I do? And don't talk about me smashing box at home, but what do you think I do?

Nah, you're throwing the whole box in the bin. You're a fucking straight guy. You're putting the whole box in the bin. Normal or nah? Straight guy's rubbish. You're putting the whole box in the bin. You're a fucking straight guy. You're putting the whole box in the bin. Normal or nah, straight guys, rubbish. You're putting the whole box in. Question, have you thrown out the boxes to your washer and dryer yet? Because that was your job about six months ago. Have you thrown those out yet?

Six months ago, was it? Probably longer. Four, actually. Four months ago. No, it would have been longer than that. Defamation, defamation. Because it was when Bridget and I first started working together and that was over six months ago. Fuck, it was four. Actually? Four months ago. No, it would have been longer than that. Defamation. Because it was when Bridget and I first started working together. And that was over six months ago.

Fuck, it was too. Yeah, it was ages ago. Are those boxes still at your house? Get fucked. Are you fucking kidding me? I'm not the one on trial here. George W.H. Bush's roommate is the guy who's the jerk in this segment. Are you kidding?

The washer and dryer boxes are still at your house? May I approach the bench? May I approach the bench? Approach the box, yes. Hey, Tony. Yes? Is it better or worse for me? I've folded the boxes, but they're still at the house,

but I have folded them. Is that going to get me any points when we go back onto the podcast? I'll allow it, yeah. I reckon I've done a pretty good job. What have you done? I've folded the boxes. They're still at the house, but I've folded them up. All right.

Yeah. Well, that's better than nothing, surely. Thank you. Glad I approached the bench. Yeah. You're welcome. Sidebar. No, I think we can all agree with George W.

Yeah. That is completely normal. And, in fact, I'd say selfish on behalf of the other guy. And how much space do you have in a bin that you can just be throwing full boxes in a willy-nilly like it ain't no thing? I agree. Thank you. So, you know, the other day when I was talking to you

about how my apartment block has a Facebook group, which I think is pretty common. Yeah. But it gets pretty sassy. Is the bin an area of dispute? So not that long ago somebody posted a video to our Facebook group saying like, hey, guys, just because I don't think anyone's fucking aware, this is what goes in the recycling, this is what goes in the general rubbish bin.

If you're putting things in the glass bin, the lids have to be off. If you're putting this in this bin, it has to do this. And if you're putting a fucking box in the fucking bin, it has to be fucking collapsed. It was, like, so sassy. Did you, while I'm reading that, were you anxious and nervous? Well, it was a video. I watched the whole thing.

Was she saying that? It was a video. It was a guy. Oh, my God. I just assumed it was a passive-aggressive written text thing. No, no. It's a video. A parlor box of fucking wild.

Oh, it's crazy. So are you watching this terrified or are you, like, sipping the tea being like, oh, it's on here? Like, what's your first reaction when you see this? Oh, well, I saw it and I was like, hang on. Like, what's going on here? And there's all these comments like, oh, it's so obvious that people don't know what they're doing and all the, like,

it was actually before we moved in. And as we moved in, I scrolled down to see if people had been like, oh, there's always a break-in or, like, watch out for this thing or whatever just to kind of, like, familiarise. But it's more just riots rather than safety. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And this guy's, like, posted this thing. But he's in the bin room.

So, obviously, he's gotten his mate or girlfriend or whatever to stand there and film while he's fucking effing and jeffing in the bloody rubbish room. So you know how we know that the person two apartments from you listens to the podcast, the one who owns the cat? Yes. I reckon you should message her to get her vibe, and here's the question I want to ask. Okay.

Should I play the audio from this guy on the podcast? Oh, my God, no, I definitely wouldn't because what if I got in trouble? Well, he said it. He published it. Yeah, but it's not a public group. Well, what if I move in and you're just playing it to a neighbour? But, yeah, so people get, like, antsy about. Fucked up about that.

Yeah, and I always rip my stuff off a box because I have such bad anxiety that I'm really worried that a box is going to be down there and someone's going to go, who the fuck's put that box here and look at the address and then be like, Tony's fucking done that and then come to my house and be like, you want to put your fucking box wherever you want? Get fucked. So I always rip my address.

Well, it's actually something Torb started doing, but rip my name and address off every box. Why are you giving me that face? When I purchased the new screen for my computer. Yeah, so it would have been massive because that screen's huge. Nice curved one as well. Yeah. Just to hit the spot.

Did you say thanks, babe? Yeah. Nice curved one as well, yeah. Just to hit the spot. Did you say thanks, babe? Yeah. Nice. I took the box to when I was in a small town living in Beaufort and the Grampians. Yep. Like I didn't know what to do with the box. I couldn't fit it in the thing because it was massive.

The bin, yeah. So I took it to like the local IGA. Oh, and just popped it in their skip or something. Yeah. Which you're not allowed to do. Aren't you? No. Wow. You're not allowed to do. Aren't you? No. Wow.

You're not allowed to do that. Not only did I do that, I didn't collapse it maybe as well as I should have. And so the guy who runs the local IG, and again, real small town vibes here, he's gone, who the fuck's put their box in their fucking bin? And it literally says my name and address on the sticker on the thing.

And so we get this knock. You're going to do a fucking crime. This pretty aggressive knock at the door. Yeah. And you're like, oh, my God. And then the guy's like, G'day, mate. How you doing? He's holding the box.

And he goes, is this your box? Your heart would have fallen through, you fucking asshole. Bridget was... Beside herself. She was like, oh, my God. I can only imagine how she would have responded to that. We have to live in this small town. Yeah.

There's three other people here. People in Pimptown, yeah. And he's like, is this your box? And I was like, oh, sort of. And he goes, it is. It's got your name and address on it. That's how I found your house. And he goes, it is.

It's got your name and address on it. That's how I found your house. Are you aware that it's a $426 fine for dumping or whatever? Oh, that's right. It is illegal. Yeah? Yeah. And I said, I am not aware of that.

I didn't realise it was illegal. I was like, oh, maybe a bit cheeky. Yeah. But, like, what's going to happen? Yeah. I'll tell you what's going to happen. The fucking guy from the IGA is going to rock up to your fucking house. Terrifying.

Yeah. So what happened? Did you just say, oh, I'm really sorry, mate. Like didn't fit in my bin. I was like, I didn't know it was illegal. Yeah, as you can tell, it's a big box. I didn't know what to do. And he goes, there's a skip.

I mean, not a skip. What do you call it? A tip. There's a tip like three minutes down the road. I'm sure you could have taken it there. And I was like, oh, yep, yep. Well, now I know future. Yep. Do you want me to take it there now?

And I reckon this is like a power move. He goes, I'll take care of it for you this time. But next time I see anything of yours in our skip, I'll be talking to the council and you'll be issued a fine. And this guy was just like a country guy, no fucking around, didn't break eye contact or seemingly blink the whole fucking time. I've never felt smaller and more terrified and like a more awful human being in my life.

And I deserved every single bit of it. Because you did it. I did it and I wasn't disputing it. He wasn't wrong. I mean, he was pretty aggressive though. To come to someone's house and threaten them over a cardboard box that was in a bin. Question.

Shoot. Do you think this was the last? Would I do it again? Yes. No. Do you think that this is the last straw? Do you reckon people always put this shit in his fucking bin and you're the first idiot to leave their name and fucking address on it

and he's like, I finally got that. Yeah. He's like, if someone does this one more time. Yeah, and then it happens to be Ryan Jonathan Dunn. And he goes, oh, well, guess who's about to get paid a motherfucking visit. Yeah. I wonder if you would just happen to be that. Be that guy.

Because there's no way that that happens once. And he goes, I'm going to go to that guy's house. There's no way. He wasn't, like, bitchy or angry. He was just so, like, matter of fact. And that happens once. And he goes, I'm going to go to that guy's house. There's no way. He wasn't, like, bitchy or angry. He was just so, like, matter of fact. And that's worse. And just, like, when your uncle's like, I'm just disappointed. Like, that kind of.

Oh, yeah. And so I was like, my tail could not have been further between my legs. And Bridget, and then I walked back into the kitchen. I'm like, did you hear that? Because she would have hidden. Oh, she was under the table. Yeah. She was mortified.

And how supportive of her husband do you think she was? Oh, not at all. Zero. What did I fucking tell you about that fucking box? Yeah. Cut it up. Don't be like Wendell's roommate. Yeah.

How she knew that a year and a half in advance. It's amazing. But she was definitely on his side. Oh, that's rough, mate. I'm sorry you got called out. You did fuck up, though. You did do it. I did do it.

I did do it. Hey, it's Laura from Massachusetts, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. How good's Kate Page? Is she nice? One of the nicest. Thank you for being one of our champion tarpers, Kate Page. Oh, I'm glad she was nice.

Welcome aboard. A massive thank you to Cade McLogan. Oh, McLogs! Yeah, John Dutris, who we've talked to him before. He lives in Perth. Oh, yeah, the Canadian. Yeah, from Saskatoon, and he lives in Morley, whichLeogs. Yeah, John Dutris, who we've talked to him before. He lives in Perth. Oh, yeah, the Canadian. Yeah, from Saskatoon, and he lives in Morley, which is quite cute. Holly Denham.

We're both wearing double denim today. If I was upside down, we'd be the same. Watch me do a cartwheel. Yeah, fucking 69. Also, I keep reading this name wrong. I keep reading it as Sad Saddington. Oh, Sade. It's Sade Saddington. reading it as Sad Saddington. Oh, Sade. It's Sade Saddington.

Yeah. Not Sad Saddington. But thank you for being a tarpa and thank you for supporting the Tony and Ryan podcast. We really appreciate it. How good am I that I knew who you were talking to from that? It was actually Sade, but I just gave you the confidence boost. Oh, sorry.

Yeah. But you said it with confidence and I wanted to support you. Oh, sorry. I'm that arsehole. Is that nice of me to do that? No, it is. But now we've got that person's name wrong. Do you remember a few weeks ago there was a situation at my house?

Shit, shit-uation. The poonami? You shat your toilet to death. Someone had to come and look at you, looking at yourself on your Facebook and there was poo everywhere. There was a plumbing issue because of the earthquake rattled the pipes. Oh, God. Yeah, I've had that before.

Don't you hate it when someone just rattles your pipes? Oh. So they had to dig up half the backyard and the decking so they could put the new pipe. And it's so embarrassing. They had to dig up the neighbour's decking because the pipe, it's the same pipe that runs along the whole street. So had anybody else had a problem as well?

Yeah. Yeah. But in the weirdest way, it made me feel a bit better knowing that it wasn't my fault and just my problem. Like something had actually happened that had affected. And affected lots of people. And it means we can split the cost in three and the insurance covers it.

Like it's totally fine. The only thing I need help with, and Tony, I was wondering, would you be able to help? Yeah. I need to clean some of the decking because, you know, there was mud and trays and stuff like that. So I was wondering, can you come around and help soak my deck?

Of course. Do you like to soak the deck? Yep. Would you say you're a good deck soaker? Yep. Yeah, I'm so good with the deck. How much experience do you have with soaking decks? Well, not just decks specifically but

hardwood very good really hardwood yeah yeah what's your strategy um well i like to get it really really wet really moist and then seal it off as well obviously is a big part of it and um with the wood as well if you leave it too long sometimes it can go soft so you got to get it while it's hard yeah Yeah, is the main thing. Oh, this is great to hear because I was nervous that you wouldn't want to come around and soak my deck. Can't your wife soak your deck? She's a great deck soaker.

Yeah. But she is, I don't know what she's doing. She's out of town. Oh, she's out of town. So while your wife's out of town, you want me to come around and soak your deck? That's what I'm saying. While your wife's out of town, you want me to come around and soak your deck?

That's what I'm saying. I can actually come and help. Don't say the word come in this conversation, please. How you didn't know what I was about to say and kept a straight face that whole time. I was quite impressed. Oh, I'm very good. That's what I've heard. Yeah, we're very good with hardwood as well. We're very good.

Champion deck soaker. Yeah. Do I see here that you've got an issue with active wear? Yeah. Because there's a few red flags for me on this already. Yeah, well, I know that based on my BMI you might not make that, you know. To be fair, you're exercising more than I am at the moment. Thank you.

Because you are exercising. Yeah, thanks. Yeah, I've been going swimming. But I decided that I was going to become a runner. Did you? Oh, yeah. I went for one run and I bought the Couch to 5K app. You know that app?

Oh, yeah. Couch to 5K. What did I say? It sounded like catch. Oh, well, I meant Couch to 5K. You knew what I was talking about. Yeah, yeah. But basically it's like a running program where-

You start from the couch. Yeah, I mean, it's very well named. Yeah. It's very literal. It's very well named if the person says the name right. Yeah. Not catch to 5K. Can I put an asterisk here?

Please. Last week I corrected you on something about maths and then when I listened back, you were right the whole time. Oh. Just like I did then was a bit of smart. No, it was about that $10 T-shirt. And I was like, oh, hang on, mate. I think you've got the numbers wrong.

I'll listen back. You had it right. Yeah, thank you. When I edited it. So I'd like to publicly apologise. Thank you. And when I edited it, I was like, I did fucking say the right thing. Yeah, fuck that guy.

It just fell out of my brain. Anyway. So I'm sorry about that. Thank you. I really appreciate that apology. And you did say couch to 5K. Thank you. Anyway, so I got the couch to 5K app.

And it's like you run for 100 meters then you walk for 100 meters and you run and it like build you up slowly it builds you up so that you can run 5k what are you up to uh oh i've done the first session a few times like when is it because obviously it builds up yeah How low is the first one? You can, I think you do like four rounds of like 100 metres on and off and on and off and on and off. Because I was expecting like we really start easy. Day one, get off the couch, great work, mate.

Sit back down. Sit the fuck down. I do that all the time. But I've done the first round of it quite a few times because I've been like, oh, I'm going to become a runner. Yeah. Anyway. Where are you running?

You don't want to run with me? No, because you go so early. What time do you go? Well, I don't know. I obviously haven't really committed. Okay. But anyway, so I thought this week I was like, fuck, you know what? I really want to get in shape because I'm just feeling really shitty

at the moment, like fitness-wise. This isn't anything about how I look or what I, you know, it's literally just I just. You're feeling sluggish? I feel really sluggish. And because at the moment it's Daylight Savings, it feels like a waste of the day to kind of finish work at 5 o'clock and then not go and enjoy.

There's four hours of daylight. What are you doing? Exactly. So I was like. Is i was daylight savings making us anxious am i supposed to be achieving something at five in the morning anyway and so i was like you know what i'm gonna fucking boot up the app again and give another shot and i thought you know what's gonna get nothing convinces you more like brand new shoes or running gear or new active wear or whatever. And I bought this pair of running shorts. They're like Nike running shorts.

And they have built-in underwear. Oh. And. How do you feel about that? Well, I don't really know what it's for. Have you ever had that before? No. Because it's very common in men's shorts.

See, I thought that you would have inside of this as you were a professional athlete. But it wasn't sports shorts. Often it was like swimming shorts because if you're swimming, you want a little something for your junk so you don't get attacked by an eel on your eel. But wouldn't you put underwear under swimming shorts? Hence why it just becomes this really redundant, annoying, just something else to ride off and get in the way. Yeah.

So I want to go on the record and say it's a no from me. Okay. What is it from you, Tony Lodge? Well. Because do you still wear, I mean, I'm sorry to interrupt, but do you still wear underwear underneath it? Well, that's what I want to know because otherwise you wear. What's the point?

You're wearing two pair of underwear. But also if you don't wear underwear and you're just using the built-in underwear, you can't really get a lot of wears out of those shorts because you've worn like the underwear once and you don't wear underwear more than once. Absolutely not. But, yeah, with running shorts, you might get two runs in or three runs before you wash them because you're wearing underwear. There's a layer of protection. But, like, if the built-in underwear is for underwear,

then you can't really wear them more than once. Yeah, no way. That's gross. Sweaty bum, sweaty jine, sweaty balls. Well, with a sweaty jine as well. Like, it... Yeah, no. It goos a bit.

Oh, did you? Yeah. I felt like we covered. Sorry. When we just said sweaty, I felt like that was an all-encompassing term. All right, sorry. That just suggested that nothing more needed to be said. But then you went and said.

Goos. Yeah. Anyway. How would you describe this goos? No, we're not going into the goos. Anyway. What's good for the goos? No, we're not going into the goos. Anyway. What's good for the goos is good for the gander. So what I am thinking is I can't decide whether I should do double underwear

or whether I just do it once but then only wear them once. That feels like a waste and then I'm just washing them all the time. But do I want to do double underwear? It feels like a lot. But why is it actually there? Can't people that are going for a run just put their own underwear on? Like Nike just leave it to us and we just wear our own underwear. You just give us the shorts.

Do Nike have to give us the underwear as well? Is it like a mesh or is it full proper underwear? It's like a mesh. Because sometimes the guys' ones are just like a mesh. So it's not mesh because it's material, but it is like silky, like sport material. Yeah. Yeah.

But I can't, like why, just let us do our own, let us pick our own underwear. I agree. But why is it there? Did you know this before it came? No. And I got them and I was like, oh, okay. I have an opposite side of the conundrum here.

Okay. And this is going to of the conundrum here. Okay. And this is going to make me sound creepy. Yeah. And that's not my intention. That's all right. I'll forgive it. You know how we live in Richmond that has some like very well-to-do, fit, good-looking people and when you go to like South Yarra

across the bridge, you're like, everyone's too hot. I can't live here. And like you feel like you can't, like I would love to, we've talked about this on the podcast before. I'd, like, love to go to F45 or something. But the people in our area, you can't go. No, they're too hot. There are some.

When you're saying this is weird because I might be wearing two pairs of underwear. Yeah. I feel like some of the female active wear, it's like there's no part of your person that I cannot see right now. Yes. Yeah, it can be quite revealing. And especially when it's a lighter colour. Yeah. And when you're saying, oh, two pairs of underwear,

I'm like, well, one for starters. Yeah. Because I don't want to continue. You do sound creepy. You're right. I didn't want to. That was not my intention. I know I've got a moustache.

It's for charity. I look like a creep. I'm saying creepy things. I regret everything. Please, 16 pairs of underwear for you. So you're saying that women aren't allowed to love their bodies and wear what they want? This is why I didn't want to say this.

You know that women aren't there for your consumption, right? Do you know that? I do. Do you? Yeah. Despite my last three minutes of conversation, I'm well aware. If you'd like. That they're busy trying to be fit and healthy.

Yeah. And who am I? The fat guy on the couch telling you what you can and can't wear while you'd like. That they're busy trying to be fit and healthy. Yeah. And who am I? And they're just walking around on the street. The fat guy on the couch telling you what you can and can't wear while you're exercising. Yep. They're allowed to walk around. The streets actually belong to everyone. Yeah.

They're not mine. It's not a man's world. It's all of our world. It's everyone's world. Save the planet. Yeah. Live well. You know, I could do you a favour and cut that out if you want.

Is it that bad? It's not great. That's why I said it with extreme hesitation. Yeah. There should have been more hesitation to the point where you went, you know what? Nah, I'm not going to lay that one on today. You and me are going to get two large popcorns, one each,

and we're going to go down to F45 and sit in the corner and just, actually, no, it's even worse. That's real bad. Imagine if we just ate the popcorn at home and didn't comment on other people's bodies. I was going to say and just supported them and say, good work, guys, keep it up. I just can't think of anything.

Then to be like, mouth full of popcorn, it's like dropping into my bra. So question. Question. Does the underwear built in really create an issue in your life It's full of popcorn. It's like dropping into my bra. So question. Question. Does the underwear built in really create an issue in your life if you're not running anyway? If you're sitting on the couch in your running shorts, does it matter? No. Probably not.

Maybe this whole thing is redundant and I shouldn't have even asked about it. I've said this idea to you before off the podcast and now I'm going to say it to you on the podcast. Yes. And you're going to hate me for it. Okay. Should we go running together? Is that what you're going to say?

When we did the Nug of War. Yes. You know what I'm talking about, don't you? We said we would eat 721 nuggets. Yeah. Sorry, we would eat one nugget for every one Patreon that signed up in October. Which ended up being 721. So we attempted to eat 721 nuggets.

We ate 200. Rest in charity, as did some money. Thank you. Yes. Should we commit to... I'm so fucking angry because I really don't want to do it. We will run two metres for every one Patreon by the end of 2021. Including the 721 that already...

We're at about 850, which means we're at a mile, which is 1,600 and something metres. No, a mile. A mile is 1.6. 1.6, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you reckon you could run 1.5 k? Fuck no. Well, you've got six weeks to, I mean, me too.

We've got 40 days to get ourselves in shape to run. It's only a couple of Ks. If we get to 1,000 Patreons, that's two kilometres. We both have to do it together. Yep. But what if I get puffed out and everyone laughs at me? I got puffed out when we walked up the street before. You got puffed out eating those chips from Grilled.

Yeah, I know. And, like, not in good shape. It's been too long. Can I just say there's been two long years of COVID where, like, you know, comfort food was eaten and, you know, I just like to back myself up there. Tony, I grew a beard and when I shaved it off, found 14 other chins on my face. Oh, it's not good, is it?

No. I really – do you know what I really want to do? I really want to get a bike. We have discussed this. Yeah, I think I really want to get a bike. But I'm keen on the running challenge. Are you sure? Yes.

You don't look like you're sure. We're both sitting here with our arms crossed, feeling very defensive. I just know that I'm not going to show good job. And somebody's going to have to run with us to live stream it, I assume, as part of the deal. Yep. Fuck.

Matt, what if we ask the Tarpers what they want us to do? Option one, anything else. And hope to God that they say, nah, I don't think the running is a good idea. It's good for our health. Sure. Good for our health. Good for the planet, probably.

Is it? I don't know. Surely. Let's have a ponder. I do like the idea. And you know what? I love it because it was your idea. I don't know.

Everyone let us know in the group what to do with built-in underwear. It's a no from me. Oh, yeah. It just stressed me out. It was so unexpected. I pulled the shorts on and I was like, oh, okay, random. No, no, no. Yeah, okay, thank you.

Thanks for backing me in. I needed the advice from an athlete, which is you. Not anymore, okay. Thank you. Thanks for backing me in. I needed the advice from an athlete, which is you. Not anymore, obviously. You having fun? We're having a fucking conversation about whether we could run one and a half kilometres. And it's like some ordeal. People are running marathons for fun.

And here we are being like, I'm forced to run four metres from my fucking couch to 5K. I hosted a charity event last week. Yeah, so cool. With the Bennelong Foundation. We ended up giving $25,000 to this business called The Beautiful Bunch. When I say business, it's called, it's kind of like a social enterprise, I believe. Not for profit.

Yeah. So basically it's a florist that delivers flowers, a beautiful bunch. Flowers are legitimate, but here's why they exist. The people who work there are young women who have come to Melbourne on refugee status. Yep. And could you imagine you're 14, 15, 18, 21. Yeah. You arrive at a country, no family, no money. And what's on your resume? Nothing.

Nothing. Imagine how hard it is for them to get a job. Oh, yeah, I cannot even imagine. So what happens is the beautiful bunch hire them and they teach them, here's customer service, here's how to use the computer, here's how to speak on the phone to a customer. It is a florist business because it has to be a business of some sort. Yeah.

But the job isn't to turn them into florists. It's to get something on their resume and to wish them well and they give them training on how to write their resume, how to go to a job interview. And they've just recently had six people graduate their program and they've all gone on to full-time employment here in Melbourne. Oh, that's so nice. So we've given them $25,000 and they're going to go on

and, you know, formalise their training, get new people in, do a great job because a lot of people come to Melbourne because we're very open to refugees. Yeah. But it's like, but then what do they do? You know, so it's sort of a little step to go, yep, you want to get a job one day? Well, let us give you some skills.

Let us be your reference. You get some hours working with customers. And allow them to, you know, fend for themselves, you know, provide for themselves and be able to work and feel independent as well. They didn't realise at the time, but the pride they get of doing a hard day's work and earning some money and paying for something with the money they earned.

So it's called The Beautiful Bunch, based in Fitzroy, and like I said, beautiful flowers. So even if the story, you know, you don't feel like you want to donate and that's not what I'm asking, if you're going to buy some flowers, go buy it from them. Get it from them, yeah. Oh, that's such a great story. I love that.

I love to see that. Love to see it. Love to see that. Watch it. I love to see it, mate. Well, I actually have quite a nice heartwarming one as well. I saw this on Instagram that a little kid called the New Zealand police. Just gave them a bell.

Gave them a call. And this little boy's like, hello? And the woman's like, hello, how can we help you? And he was like, I've got some really cool toys and I would like to show them to the police. So he called the emergency like 111 in New Zealand, I think it is. And the woman was like, oh, but is there an emergency? Are you hurt?

Are you okay? And they made sure he was all right. And then all of a sudden you hear like, and the dad's like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. Like I was looking after his little sister. Like, oh, I'm so sorry. And she was like, just confirming there's no emergency. And he was like, no, there's no emergency.

He just got the phone. Anyway, and then like later on there's like audio of a call and it's like, hey, later on, there's, like, audio of a call, and it's like, hey, everyone, if there's anyone in XYZ area, there's a little kid who'd love to show you their toys. And this guy calls in and goes, oh, yep, I'm actually free at the moment. I'll go down there. And this policeman in New Zealand goes around to this little kid's house, and he showed him all his toys, and then they, like,

turned the sirens on the car for him and let him sit in the car. And then at the end of the story, it was like, oh, and just to confirm, like, his toys were really cool. Like, it was so nice. And I just thought, oh, you do love to see that. You do love to see that. You know what?

Do you reckon that guy's going to grow up and be a policeman because he just loves policemen? Oh, 100%. What a lord. Yeah, such a great experience and so nice that they were like, oh, there's no emergency, but, you know, we can have a bit of fun and, you know, I just thought that was so sweet. You do love to see.

That is a beautiful story. Yeah. Was there flowers involved in that story, though? No charities either. Okay, so that's... Sorry, I'll just go pack myself. Yeah. I just made such a big deal about mine being so awesome,

I'm feeling defensive now because that was a beautiful story. No, yours was super awesome. I'm feeling defensive because my story was a beautiful story. Oh, no, yours was super awesome. I'm feeling defensive because my story wasn't. Why are we fighting? Are we fighting? Turn the music off. There's not a good vibe right now. There isn't.

No, there isn't. And we're not going to end on this note. And you know why? It's because of the running. Let's fucking do it. We're running. We're running. Never go to bed angry.

Never. All right. We're running. We're running. Never go to bed angry. Never. All right, so every Patreon that we receive in the year 2021, we will run two metres per Patreon. So if it gets to 1,000? Two Ks. You've got two Ks, haven't you? Get the fucking built-in underwear ready.

You don't love to see that. All right, tomorrow on the show, because we now do four a week. I've got one of the worst Tinder bios you've ever seen in your life. But I think, as bad as it is, Tony Lodge is going to be strangely turned on by it. Oh, no. Okay, I'm embarrassed already. Nothing's even happened yet.

Girls, wear whatever you want when you're running. And also, this week we watched The Dark Knight. Oh, yes. So if you haven't watched it yet, please watch it tonight so that we can chat about it tomorrow. A lot of thoughts. But we fucking love you. Thanks for listening. And another one tomorrow.

What's a singer that starts with an M? Lady Meow Meow. Yeah. Or Cat Stevens. He's now called Yusuf. Meow-suf. Meow-suf. Oh, the energy's better now.

It is better. That's good. We fixed this. Okay, we fixed this. Let's go to bed. Thank better. That's good. We fixed this. Okay, we fixed this. Let's go to bed. Thank God. All right.

Look, I see you.