Toni and Ryan - ANNOUNCING TONI'S HENS PARTY!!!!

Episode Date: February 16, 2026

YOU'RE INVITED TO TONI'S HENS - https://tonishensparty.co.uk/Colonoscopies - Funny name and funny jobs - love ya!!!!!Sign up to Patreon Here - www.patreon.com/ToniandRyanFAQ and T&C's PODCASTAWAY - www.toniandryan.com.au/podcastawayVideo for this EP is available on YOUTUBECheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We have an announcement. If a wedding is happening, a hens party can be happening as well. Yes. I would like to invite you to Tony's hens party. Yes. Hi, I'm Brunchy from Hobart Tasmania. I'm Rylan from Portland, Oregon. Hi, I'm Ali Jekker from Haikor from Huyko, China.

And I approve this podcast. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. Hello. So this is Tony Lodge. Hi. My name is Ryan John. Welcome. best friends. We're best friends. And hey, if you're new here, you can be friends to and what a

very special day to be joining us. Welcome to our safe place. Welcome to our fun space. And we have an announcement, but Tony, please. Um, well, it has been about a year since I got engaged. Yep. Um, and every single tapar on earth has been so excited, so supportive. Have you picked a venue? Like, where are you at with wedding planning? What's going on? Um, and so we have started thinking about what our wedding will look like and it's taken a year to start thinking about it. To be fair, you didn't plan on breaking your leg last year. And that did drought spanner in the works. That slowed things down a little bit.

But so with the... Can I go down the aisle on a scooter? Yeah. What does it look like to jet ski through? Yeah. So now that we're starting thinking about wedding things, obviously that meant for Ryan that if a wedding is happening, a hens party can be happening as well.

Yes. So I would like to as the mate of honour, was that my official title? Mate of honour, yeah. I would like to invite you to Tony's hens party. Yay! It is going to be in London. One night only in London.

One hens party only, one night only in London at a beautiful theatre. Troxy. Come on down. If you want to get on the wait list, because tickets are available next week. You would go to which website, Charles? It would be tony's hensparty.com.

com. Get on the wait list because when they officially open for sale next week, bang, get on in there. It's going to be a hot ticket because it is one night only. You, everyone in attendance, will be a bridesmaid. Yep. There is one bride to be. Thank you.

And the rest of us are bridesmaids. Ah, you're a mate of honour. A maid of honour. Yes. But still a bride, like a senior. Head bridesmaid. Head bridesmaid. giving head to a bridesmaid.

Oh, I'm a bridesma. I plan on it. I plan on it. And so we will be creating this magical evening together because as anyone who's been a bridesmaid before, this is a nightmare of planning and fun and very involved. But everyone helps and contributes. So we'll all be helping and contributing together. Yeah.

Now, Tony, just to go back to the wedding at the moment, are you able to, you know, is it big? Is it small? Do you know what you're going to wear? Like, what are, you know, where are you? I know, I know, it's not finalised. but where you kind of head out at the moment. Because I'm just trying to get the... Paint the picture.

Yeah, and get the feel for what this hens party needs to say as well. You know how there was like a big wedding or a small wedding? And then they had that like micro wedding trend. Yep. That's what we're doing. The micro wedding trend. Like it, I don't think it could be smaller. Okay.

The biggest thing about it is going to be my dress. And that is actually the only thing that's in the works right now. Yeah. And are we at liberty to say that George, our friend is going to be helping make that. Georgia Young is going to be making it. And I said to her, I could do some of the sewing if she wanted. And she said, please don't alter this dress.

And I said, has that ever happened before? And she was like, not for many, many years. And I was like, oh, because on the day, if I need take it in a bit, she was like, please don't do that. So if you just like wheeled in the Jill singer. Yeah, she's not. Yeah. She's not having that. Yeah.

And that's fair. It's good to know the boundary. Yep. So that's kind of the only thing in plans at the moment. We're thinking mid-year. Mid-year. So what you're saying is it's going to be a small wedding. Small, yeah, very small.

So if that's going to be small, it makes no sense that this beautiful hens party is going to be the biggest, craziest hens party we've ever seen. And I'm only going to have one, this time. This time. This time. For once. You're only ever going to have a hens party for your first wedding one time. I'm only getting married for the first time once.

Yep. Now, here's some things. I'm thinking it for the hens night. Okay. Yep. Love it. Lay it on me. Obviously, there'll be fun. Fun and games and shenanigans. Yes. And hopefully no drama. What there won't be is any family drama.

We're not doing drama. There won't be family drama. Drama, drama. None of my family's going to. I hope. Because there's going to be no family drama. Yeah. Second of all.

Yep. Where do we stand? These are like, I guess, the obvious questions. Nah, because I feel like we've got to set the best, you know, you go, yeah, I want to do this. I don't want that. I do want this. I don't want that. Where?

Because I feel like you get to say, all right, here's my guidelines. You guys go off and plan it together. Yep. Where do you stand on strippers? Because that's like, you just got to like, everyone's thinking it. I don't know that it's really for me. Yep. I think that I would allow.

hour one. And those of you just listening, I am looking at the camera. Given all of the thirst comments about Ryan John, after we went to Wet and Wild on the Gold Coast, I think that most people would be very happy with one stripper. Don't blame it on everyone else. What did you say about the mustache? Oh, no, I'm a fan.

For my wedding gift, can you give me a mustache again? Mustache ride. Oh, my God. I'm actually so, so, so. genuinely, I'm like almost married. Do you know what I mean? Like, I've got to rein it in. It's not the point of my hands tonight.

Bodies. No, but it's like, I'm going to get fucked one last time. But it's like one last opportunity. It's a live sex party. Charles and Ryan on the stage. I'm in the middle. God, we're in London, but you can see the Eiffel Tower. Oh.

That is funny for multiple reasons. Because the most annoying reason being when we're in London last time, every time there was a building more than four stories high, Is that the Iral Tower? Can you say it from here? That's amazing. It's a fucking power line across the street. Is not the I'm not the Marville Tower?

It hit every time. It hit every time. Okay, so strippers, hang on. Strippers out, stripper potentially in. Yeah. Okay. I'll allow that. Would you like to have any musical numbers?

Yes. Okay. Would you like them perform? Just a good sing-along. Okay. Would you like? professional entertainment, would you like TARPA entertainment, or would you like TARP's who are professionals entertainment? Keeping in mind, because we've paid for the theatre, there is no

budget for professionals. Yep. As a professional myself, am I counted as a professional tarpa? No, I mean, like... I could hop up and do something. What's your profession of... I figure it out. Yeah. I'm good on the fly. You are good on the fly. I figure it out on the day. Um, okay, so we've, but... I like a game. Like a game. I do like a game. Yep.

Or, you know, when you do the quizzes about, about the bride and groom, might be logistically a bit tough with all of my bridesmaids that are going to be there. Yeah. Yeah. Very true. Very true. Can I organize the drinks for us? Yeah.

It won't be gay-er-rater. Um, yeah. Yeah, I like Diet Coke in a can. Yep. I like my Yeti water bottle filled up with filtered cold water and ice. Would you like an after party? I would. And let me tell you how I would like that.

I would like it to be me in my bed with a kebab. Okay. Well, when Tony does that, if any tarpers live near Troxie in London and want to do kick-ons at their place, you just let me know. Yeah. One of us will come. Yeah. And you don't know which one. You don't know which one.

What should I wear? What does the hen wear? Is it kind of like a slagy costume? What? Bird costume. A hen. I wear a hen costume. Like a chicken suit.

I'm feathered. For the whole night? Yep. Who knows? That, I kind of, okay. Here's my thoughts, though. You kind of want to look. That's good.

That's one of those blow up ones where, looks like you're riding a hand. But my legs are the chicken's legs. It's a bit tricky. Can you book me that to where to chill out festival in Dalesford? Yeah, the pride, the pride tail feathers. Um,

I feel like I do want to look like hot party slut. Yeah. That feels like the vibe. Yeah. And I feel we actually, in all seriousness. Do I wear white? Is that? We haven't decided the like official dress code.

We should have done. Haven't we? Oh, no. But I think like, we can figure that out. But my first thought. thoughts are just like whatever makes you feel like a hot slot. Yep.

It's the year of the hot slot. Whatever makes you feel hot. It's a fun night. It's amazing. Yeah. So it's on the 19th of May. Yep. Is it?

Oh, good guess. Tuesday the 19th of May. Tuesday the 19th of May. It is one night. Like there's one. Yeah. And this isn't one of those things where they go, oh, it's just one. And then it sells out and there's another.

There's, it's one. This is it. We can only do one. Could only for the funeral one night. So, who knew? that a beautiful old theatre. Would cost a lot of money.

They charge for it. Up front. Yeah. Yeah. That's good. It's seriously going to be a great night and not only are we all going to be there like celebrating the hen, but what we've learned from previous meet and greets in parties is that tarpers just love meeting other tarpers.

Yeah. So whether you're coming with a group or by yourself, there's going to be a lot of people who are just like the rest of us all having a really fun jolly night together. So he's going to be a really, really good time. Really fun, really silly, really safe. And we're going to be filming it. So you put your glad rags on. And there's going to be some little gifts there for you when you're on.

Oh, we're allowed to say that? I take that back. There's nothing, you bitch. Charles, that website again, because next week they go on sale. So you really want to be on this wait list to get first access at them. It is tony's hensparty.com. dot UK. It'll be in show notes and in the description. Yep. And once you register there, you get sent an email and like, here's the links,

here's the times, here's all the info you need to know. But really what you need to know is you sign up and get ready to have a really fun night because it's going to be sick. And it's out the first time we're doing something like this. Is Torbs coming? Like to the actual night? Oh, because he wouldn't normally be at the hen's night, would he? Yeah. So that I can suck off a stripper. I was, yeah. How am I going to suck you off if he's there?

Again. For the second time. Maybe I'd do both you at the same time so you won't get jealous. It's only fair. Yeah. You can see the Eiffel Tower from here. I'm really excited. I think it's fun because I probably wouldn't have done a hands night otherwise.

It's like not really. But this is good. Now, tomorrow on the show, I've got two stories to share with you. Oh. And it's what can go really right when you invite a whole bunch of people we haven't met all of before to a Hens party? Yeah. And what can go wrong when you invite a whole bunch of people that you haven't met all of them before? Corey Worthington.

That wasn't a hens party, but that was a part of Australian history. Yeah. Party, Corey. Should we on our documentary channel that doesn't exist do a deep dive into Corey Worthington for people outside of Australia who don't know what that is? There must be a deep dive about him, right? Like, it's law, L-O-R-E. Australian law. Remember those sunglasses?

Mate. Yeah. Anyway, sorry. Anytime someone wears yellow sunglasses in Australia, everyone goes, oh, right on, Corey? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Should we get yellow sunglasses for the night? Not you, Charles.

Should we have Corey Worthington there on the night? He is going to be the stripper He's from the Gold Coast, isn't he? We probably could have caught up with him last week. I think he moved up there because where else would Corey Worthington move? So true. Anyway, tonythenspity.com. You can go and sign up for the wait list so that you get the first email and won't go to your junk and stuff.

Here's what I can guarantee. Smiles. Smiles. I can guarantee sexiness. And sluts. I can guarantee not strippers. Strippers. Not strippers.

Yeah. I can guarantee a musical number. Yep. I can guarantee TARPA's on stage doing something. Don't know what that is yet. Don't know who it is yet. But everyone's a part of this show and party. That's good.

And one thing I can guarantee is there won't be any family drama. They fucking better not be. There won't be any family drama. Family drama. No. No, no drama. We don't want no drama. Can I ask a question?

I'm sure that everyone is gagging to know. Can you please now explain your clue? it says Tony's Hens party live in London May 19 when you know it it's so obvious

yeah okay yeah nice what else would it be yeah yeah so true I couldn't figure it out

it turns out it can be because of the letters it was like a hangman style thing yeah and someone was like Torbs feeds BJ dinner eat it

because the eat it was May 19 and I was like, yeah, like that makes sense, but like, does that sound like a fun announcement? Is that what? Yeah. Not only is that Noel we're saying, why would you think that's what it is?

Huge announcement. Torbs feeds B.J. Dinner. Eat it. Tony's Hens party live in London, May 19. Well done. So cryptic, we couldn't even figure it out. Oh, I should add some more letters next time. No.

I didn't want to give it away. Well, I thought I'd put one letter in someone and be like, Tony said, Tony, in London. I was like, fuck. Well, I should add some. I thought that it would be Tony's Hens party. And it is. No, I just thought it would be that.

So when there was lots of words, I was like, see you there? Like I was trying to figure out like what the, yeah, great job. Live in London, May 19. And it is live in London. We're going to bloody London, in it? Who's that? I was just doing some accent work. Sorry.

Heaven forbid. See you in London. Was that Adela? Is she coming? She's not. She's not managing expectations. Actually, one more question. Question.

Would you like? Taylor Swift come. A surprising cameo. Oh. Yeah, sure. Or a... Taylor Swift. Do you think that we should...

Okay, genuine question. Do you think that we should reach out to Tatei? Because she's probably planning a hen's night at the moment too. She's actually Monday night at Troxy. We're going to be the second biggest Hens Night that week. Yeah. Could you imagine if Taylor Swift did this?

That is crazy. I would love to see it. Imagine trying to get tickets. We had them the ears to it. Yep. At the sphere in Vegas. Oh, now ours sounds shit in comparison. No, no, no, no.

Ours is great. There's just a small little theatre in London. No, it's not. It's the biggest theatre on earth. And we're going to blow the fucking roof off. Don't because we had to do the insurance thing. Oh my God, I'm so sorry. Yep.

Do you want me to reach out to tree paint? I'll just text her and let her know. Text tree. Yeah. Let them know. Yeah. All right. Taylor's just publicist.

Oh. I thought you said tree pain and I was like, I think you're thinking of tea paint. Yeah. It is tree pain. That's her name. Is tea paint available for the evening? I don't believe so. I think he got a bit.

He is, but he's auto tunes not. Oh. That's Christine Aguilar. I'm getting my celebrity stuff. Corey Worthington. Taylor Swift. We got it all. Tree pain.

What a confusion. Hi, I'm Ellie Jacket from High Co-Torna. I'm Raylan from Portland. I'm Bronte from Hobart Tasmania. And you're listening to Tony Ray. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tarpa. Show looks. And hopefully a few people that are going to be my bridesmaids in London.

A couple of bridesmaids. Liz Edgar, good on you, Liz. Amy Clark. Thanks, Amy. Shia 19, Libby Grant, Laura Mahoney. Claire Duke, Kaylee Markwick, Beyond and Delief, Michael Crichton, Channing Donahue and Nicole Miller. Thank you very much. See you at the Hensnight.

See it at the Hensnight. TonysHensparty.com.com. So... I can't believe for having a party. I know. It's so fun. It's going to be so fun. It's going to be the night of our lives.

It actually is. I've got some legit... Charles, are you coming? I am coming, yeah. Great. That would be nice. Two strippers. I've actually didn't really, we probably should have mentioned this earlier.

You know how there was a little bit of conjecture about if my family would be coming to Fiji? Yep. Because I just kind of assumed they would be and everyone including those booking it, just assumed they wouldn't. Yeah. Mainly because it was like we're going with a bunch of tarppers and yeah. Just like the hens party with a bunch of tapers. Have we assumed that my wife and child will be coming because they think, They are.

Well, you told us that they were coming. Yeah. At least that one you told us. But also, yeah, I thought I'd said the Fiji one. So I just want to check, did I actually say this one out loud? Yeah. Yeah. Great.

Yeah. Great. Are they going to come to the event? I hope so. Yeah. Don't know if it's definitely for adults only though. Yeah. It's 18 plus.

Yeah. So if anyone knows a babysitter. In London. Yeah. Yeah. Penny. Penny's coming. Sorry.

Yeah. Sorry, Penny. You're invited. You're invited. Um, in other life updates. Yeah. I've also been to. Sorry.

I feel like there's a lot of admin about you bringing your family to work. Like it just feels like so funny. That's like, oh, so what's the go with that one? Yeah. Nah, fair. Just. Like that she's, that Bridget comes on the night. Oh, no, no, no.

I think that you're like, just because with Fiji there was a thing. Have we, are we all? good with it. It's just like, yeah, just doing some quick travel admin. Well, you're bringing three family members. And cousin Bonnie is in. Oh, and cousin Rowdy. Yep. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. Oh. Oh. Yeah. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. He's a family. Yeah. He lives. And he went, oh. I wouldn't want him to be disappointed. I met Rowdy's a great guy.

He doesn't deserve that kind of disappointment. Maybe Rowdy can do some music on the night. Oh, yeah. He makes choose. He's a French DJ. He's a French DJ from Altham. Yeah. Another life update is that I have been to the gastrology place.

Yes. And I'm also going to need a, what's it called? Colonoscopy. I didn't think I was going to need a colonoscopy. I thought they'll go, yep, you've got to. IBS, let's try these medication, let's try these treatment, let's try this diet. And they're like, no, pretty much everyone that comes through. And you said they're, they're definitely going to, and I was like, no, I don't think we're the same. No, I just don't think that you go to a gastro.

Yeah. And they, that's not what it's like, yeah. I don't think you would get referred to one without that being like the first port of call. So they're going to, so you're in there for, for a blood butt. And I'm in for shitting myself for 20 years straight. Yeah. So I, Ryan and I now have both gone and we're both in. We're both in. And if I had have known that we were going in and with the same company, I would have requested the same day. Yeah.

And unfortunately, we are having colonoscopies on different days. Yeah, it's a real shame. And whilst we had a lot of fun chat about Dr. Bart, it turns out, you know, timetable, schedules, people going on holidays is that... Neither of us are getting to see Dr. Butt. Yeah. Which is a real shame. Now, is because Dr. Butt is going on long service leave, right?

Just say yes, because I've written so many jokes. Okay. Ask me again. No. Yeah, he is. He needs time off for my hands tonight. He does. I've actually written some other things about why.

Imagine trying to cover him. That'd be a real pain in the bar. Now, let's not make him the butt of the joke. He's going on holidays. Oh, if you don't like that, that's just going to be a rough. He loves the ring road. On holidays, he wants to have a few drinks and forget about work.

He's going to have a bottomless brunch. He's going further south than he's used to on holidays. He's going to Thailand. That's very good. Thank you very much. Very, very good. After we talked about Dr. Bart, a lot of people sent through their stories. A cease and desist.

And they said, I work on half of Dr. Butt. And if you talk about him again, we'll sue you. A lot of people. Sue the pants off of him. He's a great guy. Danny's dad last week had a colonoscopy with Dr. Bart. And I just think that's wonderful. Sorry to Mr Chan for saying that.

And for now, docks in his full name. Did he have a lovely experience? Yeah, he did. Oh, great. I glad that he could see. Glad he could see you before he went on his trip to Hololulu. I think about with a colonoscopy. It's all about the light at the end of the tunnel.

You're on your colonoscubes from the wrong direction, sounds like. There's light at both ends. So true. Isn't there just? That might be the inspirational photo for the week. Let's light at both ends in the tunnel. And it's just the person, ass up and mouth up. In that I'm about to receive doggy position with the light just going straight through one end to the other.

Sorry, hearing that called about to receive doggy position and not like. like four point nil or something is pretty funny but you know like the flat earth is a like you know how the flat earth is like oh we'll shine a torch and we'll see that it fucking curvature of the earth it means it yeah yeah so that but we're shining it through the person yeah in the receiving doggy position I love it live brainstorm Danny did you get all that great great and sorry um a lot of people said oh there's been a few people in my life that have had great name slash job description combos. Oh, amazing.

TARFAS Sally. I'm just remembering the one that we got the other day. Someone was like, oh, Dr. Bart, he's calling us with that. So funny. I saw one. It's Dr. Cock and he works at the supermarket. And I was like, yes, it's not the same thing.

Yeah, because it's funny about the butt because he's a butt doctor. And they didn't get it. Yeah. Like, the topic isn't funny names. Yeah. It's like perfect jobs for perfect people. Like if my name was like Tony podcast, you'd be like, ah, God, perfect. That's so funny.

What did she do? She works at the Dali at Cole. I've thought about taking up a shift at the deli. I thought you're taking up a shift to the local cafe on Saturday. Oh, I do want to do that too. There's so many things. I hope I get to see them all. We can do both those this weekend.

I'm going to go away for the long weekend. I am going to Dalesford, the Chillout Festival. Oh, that's right. Yeah. You want to come? Nah. I have to have a cold on off. I'm working.

I actually have done colonoscopy. Yeah. I genuinely that sounds like, I got to wash my hair that day. Burebic hair? When I was shave my asshole before the colonoscopy, do you think? I thought the same thing. Like, is there an amount of prep I should do? Mine wasn't, cosmetic was more like, could you get through the hair?

Oh, no, that's same. Danny, did you shave your asshole before you were colonoscopy? Danny, don't have to answer that. Danny, did your dad shave his ass on? Also don't have to answer that. No to both. Oh. I mean, actually, I don't really know if my dad did.

I can ask. That's a better answer. That's a better answer. Yep. Do you reckon you will? I don't. Do you want me to wax it for you? Oh.

Should we do it live on page? Not for a live stream. Not anything. Like, you just want me to do it. If I'm going through the pain of you. I'm not going to miss that golden opportunity for a live stream. If there are 300 comments on today's YouTube video that say, do the asshole wax. How many subscribers do we have on YouTube?

Like 700,000? All right. If we hit 750. No, we're too close. We're at 749. 760. If we hit 760,000 subscribers, I'll do it.

Before your colonoscopy, we will go live on Patreon. Of you waxing my ass. me waxing your asshole. And I'll take you to a proper place and they'll help me do it. So we'll do a good job. I'll take you to Luna in Brunswick and they will help me wax your asshole. Okay. That's a good deal.

And I'll do it too. But we have to hit 760 before. Yeah, because I reckon we'll hit 750 in the next week. So I was just like, no, no, no, that's there. Okay. If we hit 760 before you colon. If it's after, no deal.

Sure. That's good. Now. Oh, God, I got a pebble. of my step first the hens party now this can i make a request to everyone yeah we don't have to do it but you can request it some people may subscribe for this reason but often a lot of subscribers on youtube specifically come from when like a short just pops the fuck off yeah can everyone just be not funny for a few weeks mate then i'm going on holiday with talked about um um

Speaking of travel, we are, well, we're, because we're going to London for the Hens party. We are. Yeah. And we've, we've joked about, and we'll have more details later, but we've, we've joked about going to Latvia to that conference. We are actually going to do that. Yeah. And so I'm trying to make. The home of potato in South Crank.

Yeah. And so he's the doctor I said, saw not Dr. Butler, unfortunately. We're trying to make a time for my colonoscopy. Yeah. And he said, what are you doing on this day? And I look it up in my phone and I said, I'm hosting a post. in a Chinese restaurant in Latvia. So probably not.

And he thought I was being hilarious, which I was. Yeah, but I was... But I'm like... But he kind of went, and I was like... Are we all? No, but I was like... Yeah. You're like, not a euphemism.

Yeah. Genuinely, yeah. That's what we're doing. Oh, I can't do that. I'm doing the own Chinese restaurant podcast. Yeah. And that went, what? Yeah, because Charles requested a Chinese restaurant in Latvia, so...

Actually, so fair. It sounds delicious. And then I think you're supposed to have a lot of fiber before it or not so much or there's like a whole thing. It's like a thing. Yeah. So you're supposed to have a white diet for a couple of days. Yeah. And I said, well, guess what? I'm in the home of potatoes. And sour cream. Because they go, oh, you can't have, you could have an orange jelly bean, but you can't have a red jelly bean. It's like red dyed food, stay in your system for longer or whatever. Yep. So you've got to have a white diet for a couple of days. It might be fine for me.

And then hot chips and sour cream. Oh, no, I meant calm. I meant come. I meant come. I meant Thanks, Charles. And then the day before you have to start doing the prep, the Pico prep, like, sashay thing. And you've got to do three of those. And apparently the second that hits your lips, you shit yourself. Just straight through. Straight through. So I said that to Bridget last night.

And she goes, oh, different day for you. Like, just went. Oh, yeah. Tell me another day. But as in like you literally drink it in the bathroom because it's on. That's what it says on the flyer. It's like, please make sure that you have. close access and free access to a bathroom, to the facilities through this time.

Here's what I'm scared of. How do you, when the time comes, get to the hospital? Is all of it out of you by then? You just, on empty. Like, you've shut every, Danny's nodding. Yeah. Yeah. Like, it's just all gone.

I mean, I get it, but isn't the term nothing left, just really funny. It's not very nice. And then, but don't worry, because then the lady, uh, the receptionist at my colonoscopy doctor she goes oh but then don't worry they give you a lovely little sandwich afterwards there was a lot of little sandwich chat a lot of little sandwich chat yeah they guys you're a little sandwich I got a little sandwich after my foot surgery yeah what you thought you get um it was a little egg one yeah there was a little leg one yeah there's one an egg sandwich fucks it does I love an egg sandwich um I would eat an egg every day if I

had the time what I don't know what that mean do you know yeah we're yeah I'm busy mate, hens parties, colonoscopies. Anyway, so what were you talking about? People have said they're ones with funny names and jobs. Amazing. And to confirm, it's not funny name or funny job. It's that they match up. Yeah.

For example, Tava Sally Smith. Hi, Sally Smith. See, in her small town of Turo. Yum. With a Turo, Truo. Okay. The local butcher is called Mr. mutton.

That's good. Also, it sounds very fancy to go to your butcher and go, hello, Mr. mutton. Hello, Mr. Mutton. I'll have a killer beef mince, please. Tapa, Christopher George, he works at a school. And they were like, going to cut some trees down and then to like get the council's permission or something.

And so the council tree officer was named Mr. Twigs. No. Yeah. Is it, is it big twigs dad? Probably. But the vice principal that I had to call Mr Twigs was Mr. Branch. Now that sounds like a bit, but it's fucking not. And they had that conversation.

You know what's good about Mr. Branch? You could also work in a bank. So true. Yeah. Tapa John Quine said that his GP growing up was Dr. Allright. That's sweet. Yeah. Are you all right?

Dr. All right. Yeah. Hey, I'll help you be. Dr. All right. Now, I don't know if Tarp a. John or Tony knows this, but um, Ta-a-Toney, that's me. Yeah.

Matthew McConaughey is actually, is actually friends. Is he? With Dr. All right. And he's, and he's three sons, yeah. And so when he, when he turns up to the house,

he goes, Gide, Doctor, and then. All right, all right, all right. That's very good. Um, I think we'd, I liked Hololulu as well. Okay. That was very good.

Oh no. Another prop. This week is popping off. Oh no, that's the horse pitcher. Do we need the horse picture? We might, but... Do you know what I think I might do? Take the horse picture with me to my colonoscopy. That's... Yeah, I think that's good. Now, I think we're going to... Here we go. We're going to finish with a poem. Because that feels right. Okay.

Now, when I show you this picture, you have to read out the guy's name. Okay. I've just thought about a funny one for me. on. Oh, the good thing about being called Tony Lodge is that you can live inside me. This is a lodge. That's good. Thanks. What do you call a person that lives in a lodge? The prime minister.

Yeah, just try it. Well, I call my Dick Prime Minister because it loves being in the lodge. That's good. Now, you're ready to read the name when I show up to you? Yep. Charles, can you just give me a distinguished poem reading music? intro. No,

no, no, no, no, nah, definitely that's the wrong person.

What the fuck was that? Tony, you've got two jobs now. I was going to like spread

the love around. You've actually got now two jobs. Charles is out. Bing,

be the ding ding ding Doses roses are red. Horses go clop. For a vasectomy, go see

Dr. Dick Chop. He could also be a butcher. What sort of butcher? Chops. like lamb chops. Yeah, but the first book.

Oh, dick. That's very good. He's a dick, butch. So am I. Don't type that into Granda. I'm good with the meat. Sorry. We both had a lot of stuff.

Yeah, we did. We did, yeah. What do you love to see, Tony Lodge? I've got a, you love to see it. And you'll like this. And I think that because you've done such an excellent job so far of, um, helping plan my hens party, getting everything sorted out.

I wanted to give you a real win here. Okay. So in honor of shoe spraying week, Reese Hollyoak, who actually is one of our traveling taras, we're taking to Fiji. See you in Fiji? He sent this video, this TikTok, and I could not believe my eyes. I'm going to, oh, fuck, Charles, hang on. She's been.

In the honor of shoe spraying week, Reese sent this through, and I could not believe it. So the video, my Scotch Guard shoe prints coming back to haunt me whenever it rains. So the shoe marks get wet and go dark, but where the Scotch Guard was overspraised, it doesn't get wet. I didn't know Scotch Guard actually worked. And so my love to see it is that this video has gone like fucking va-va-va-viral. It's got 300,000 lives. And Scotch Guard actually works. I did not know.

I know you didn't know. Because if you did, you would have taken shoe spraying week a lot more seriously than you did. And so my love to see it is an admiration. Yep. It's also an apology. I would like to say that I'm very sorry for not taking shoe spraying week as seriously as I should have because look at that. That's amazing. You have to do mine next year when it rolls back around.

Oh, I think. Maybe pre-Lapia. Well, it's going to be cold. I feel like shoe spraying week isn't the only week you're allowed to spray shoes. I do. Legally. I believe that that's been. It's just an awareness week.

Should we do a Tony and Ryan Awareness Week? Yes. Okay. This week is now, Do do, Do you do, Tony and Ryan Awareness Week? Oh no,

we're doing tickets at the moment. Let's write down, Charles, Tony and Ryan Awareness Week. And everyone can spread awareness. What day? What week? What's looking clear? Not a lot with that.

We're busy. Yeah. We've got to go out of those potatoes in Riga. Oh. We could do the first week of June. First week of June. Fuck, are we that booked up? Okay.

All right. First week of June, week commencing the first of June, is Tony and Ryan Awareness Week. So get prepared for that. Because there's going to be a lot of information coming your way. Yep. Javvy you love to see it. Yeah, mine's from Christy Buckin.

We know Christy Buckin. Hi, Christy. She goes, I got my champion to Tarpa shout out last week. And getting a shout out on the Gold Coast just felt fancier. You know what I mean? I just felt right. It would have. Now, Christy sort of buried the lead in her, you'll love to see it.

I don't want to like tell people how to like write their stories, but she's kind of buried the lead here. Okay. So let me, um, let me go from the top again. And then you tell me if she's led with the cool bit. Okay. Got my champion Tarpa shout out last week. Coming from the Gold Coast, it feels fancier. Nice.

Also, finish my final round of chemo and survive cancer. Don't you love to see those things? I actually think they're in the right order. Me reading out your name doesn't happen to everyone. Survived cancer. Yeah. Fucking hell. Final round of chemo.

It was a successful. Well, successful. It's obviously a tough period, but a successful period nonetheless. So well done, Christy. Christy. Kirsty, Katrina. I love that for you. You have to celebrate with a Gatorade.

Yum. You could also celebrate coming in London, once in a lifetime opportunity. So true. We'd love to see you. Love to see it. All right, well, thanks for you love to see it. That's amazing.

Tomorrow, as I said earlier, tomorrow on the show. A couple of... Some good things that can happen when you invite a whole bunch of people to your hens and some other stories. Other things. I actually think they're all good,

but some might think they're bad, including if you're the bride. Okay. Tonythensparty.com. uk.com. Start up to the waiting list. And we've also posted this morning a very fun poster for the event.

That, like, our crew's been working really hard on. It looks amazing. So you'll love to see that too. Fuck, yeah. See you tomorrow. Love you. Bye!