Toni and Ryan - Another 'Toni' Purchase

Episode Date: June 1, 2023

Yep... I've done it again 😂 Love ya! xx [USED TO BE VIDEO EPISODE BUT NOT ANYMORE LOL TECHNICAL CHAT]Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Best-Selling Author, Tony Lodge. And we are calling Western Australia and we're calling Carnarvon. Carnarvon! That's where the bananas are. Can you believe it? Carnarvon. Carnarvon. They say, and this is Jessica, I can't tell you what I do for a living because Tony will hate me. Let's find out. I don't actually know what they're getting at there. I'm very intrigued. because Tony will hate me. Let's find out.

I don't actually know what they're getting at there. I'm very intrigued. I don't hate anything. You hate everything. She works on Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Yeah, they make that in Carnarvon. Out back west. Good morning.

Jessica speaking. Jessica, it's Tony and Ryan. How are you doing? I'm great. How are you guys? We're well, but we're very confused about what you might do for work. Because of the Illinois Tony. Can you put us out of our misery?

We can't figure it out. Do you work at Brooklyn Nine-Nine? Do you make that show? Oh, my God, I wish. The funniest thing is that's my ringtone, so I just heard that. The look on Tony's face right there. Jessica, I already don't like you. This is great.

Oh, no. Go on, Jess. Make my day. What do you do? Look, I can't say it outright, but I'll just say that I work with mail. Mail? She works at the AP. The Australia Post.

Oh, shit. I thought you said male. I was like, she's a stripper. Yeah, I was like, why would I hate that? Not males. Yeah. Males. Okay, righto.

Yeah, you're right. Well, I guess, Jess, the saving grace here is that you're in WA. You're in Bonarnavon. Yeah. So that means that you're so far away, you couldn't be impacting my mail. You know what I mean? Depends where our Torb sends it anyway.

You never know where it's at. Kentucky, then straight on to Bonarnavon. Absolutely. Jess, will you approve this podcast episode? Oh, absolutely. Hey, it's Jessica from Carnarvon and I approve this podcast Today's show as well as being a podcast is also a video show

so you can actually watch the whole thing on the Spotify app and on your smart TV and Tony I know you're more than what you wear. I know you're a fashionista. What are you wearing today? So I'm wearing my very favourite Tony and Ryan merch.

Lovely. A lovely grey hoodie. It's so warm. AS colour. Wonderful quality also. I'll tell you what's really fun. I don't know if you noticed, but on the tag, it's actually like a little Tony and Ryan print.

Yeah, it's really sick, eh? It's so cool. I'm wearing my tarp hat and my tarp. Oh, it's the same. It matches. Yeah, you look like a bit of a uniform, which I really like. I love having a work uniform. Would you?

Jeans, striped shirt, blue denim jacket. Well, I'm trying to move away from that at the moment. Well, just because everyone started saying, oh, you always wear that. But that's what you were wearing when I fell in love with you. I did also have a pimple on my vagina, though, and I don't have that anymore. You've changed. But you know that.

I've changed. Sorry. You've changed. What are you wearing? Your beautiful tarp hat, tarp T-shirt. Yep, and regular pants. Sorry about that. Regular pants.

Tarp pants. Maybe next time. Maybe next time. Maybe next time. If you too would like to look this good, check it out at TonyandRyan.com.au. You can pre-order for the next few days until next Thursday. Very exciting stuff. Now, later on today, got some questions for people who wear Apple Watches and for people who don't wear Apple Watches,

what they think about people who do wear Apple Watches because there could be some big shifts going on in my life. We'll get to that soon. Big shits going on in your life. Shifts. Oh, sorry. But first, has anyone else had problems trying to explain new things to old people?

When someone over 60 asks what you do for a living, Toni? Oh, and I just try and think of the simplest way to, like, explain it. But the simplest way probably is to be like, oh, I work in the media. And then they go, oh, do you know blah? Or like, have you seen this? Do you know Rhonda Birchmore? Yeah. Yes.

A hundred percent. Right? It's like that classic question. Have you met Ryan Seacrest? Oh, that's probably a bit too new. Yeah. Do you reckon? No, but he would be like the young toy boy of the biz.

Or maybe they would say, do you know Andrew G? And then you go, Osher now. He goes by Osher and they go, who? I don't do that woke shit. You know? Yeah. Yeah. It was the same person.

Yeah. Union for a battle when they don't know what a podcast is. Yeah. Is there someone in your life, maybe a grandparent, who has decided that you're going to be the person to explain technology to them? So my grandpa. Uh-huh. God rest his soul.

God rest his soul. to explain technology to them. So my grandpa. God rest his soul. God rest his soul. I reckon in 2004 asked me what a USB stick was. Yeah, the stick. And he died two years ago, still not quite grasping the concept. Yeah.

And fuck, I hope up there in heaven they don't have USB sticks because if he starts asking about that, the people up there with him will want to die again. He's at the Great Trolley in the Sky. The Great Trolley in the Sky. So basically with Grandpa, he couldn't comprehend that a whole two-hour film could fit on a small stick. Yeah.

He's like, yeah, yeah, but like where's the movie? Yeah, and how do you watch it if it's on this tiny stick? And there's no screen on the stick. Yeah, exactly. But the movie's in there. Yeah, and you go, well, no. No. Because that's a DVD.

No, he'd be holding up a VHS. So you're trying to tell me they've crammed, not like the new technology, but they've physically crammed this VHS into a USB. They've folded a disc up into the, yeah. Fuck. And then how did the VHS fit in the DVD and how did the DVD fit in the, yeah.

Oh, and it just, like I said, ongoing for 15 years. He just never quite, and he couldn't bring himself to say USB. He would obviously just say. The stick. The stick. It's in the stick. What's in the stick? How to get on the stick.

How to get on the stick. What do I do with the stick? Where do I put the stick? I reckon that there's a lot of people that would be challenged with that day to day. And they are the person that their grandparent like calls on all the time. I don't have any grandparents. Like all of mine are like died when I was quite young because my parents were a little bit older.

And also Tobs and I, we live in Melbourne. All of our family is like on the other side of Australia. So it's quite rare that we are tasked with like the classic, you know, explaining something to family or that you're the phone call because you can't just go around like the classic um you know explaining something to family or that you're the phone call because you can't just go around the corner and you know turn their tv on and off or whatever the amount of times i went to my grandma and grandpa's and just like yeah flicked it on yep and they go why isn't it working right and you go oh you just need to turn on they go no it's so complicated these days i just just don't get it. I'm like, no, like if you fucking concentrated for like four seconds,

I actually reckon you would get it. Nah, I just don't get it. And I've also seen that meme that's like, it's like from a mum or a grandparent's perspective, and it's like, don't get angry with me for not understanding a TV or a computer. I taught you how to use a spoon. And you know what?

I will give you that. However, I've adapted and I don't need to call you every time I need to use a spoon. Yeah. You know? On the other flip side, I was like, you haven't seen me try to eat with a spoon. Yeah. Yeah, you did a terrible job. That is a good point though.

You know? So I will give you that. But. I wiped your ass. Yeah. You will show me how to use a USB stick. And you know, like maybe it all comes back around. Yeah. However, a know, like maybe it all comes back around.

Yeah. However, a very frustrating thing happened. And like I said, don't normally have to deal with this, but last week Torbz's dad and step-mom were in town to watch the footy. Yeah. They came over and they were watching a game of MCG and it was so great to see them because with COVID and the cost of like flying backwards and forwards, we haven't seen them in a really long time. And so it was lovely to see them.

However. Everyone listening was just waiting for, however. So we live, Torbs and I, like live in Richmond. So it's pretty much in the city. And it's a real cool area. There's heaps of restaurants, pubs. And like the MCG, where they were watching the footy is in Richmond. Yeah.

Like it's literally. It's just down the street. It's not that far away. You can see it from the top of the light posts from everywhere. Like you can. It's right there. Yeah. You're really close.

You couldn't be closer. No. And they messaged us and they went, oh, yeah, are you guys still happy to have dinner after we finish at the footy? And we went, yep. And they went, what do you, are you guys still happy to have dinner after we finish at the footy? And we went, yep. And they went, and we were like, what do you feel like eating? Because that's the other thing. Like it's never like let's just walk around and find something.

It's like we had to give them like where we were going. And that's fine because I like to be organised. I was going to say that's kind of my area. Anyway, so we sent them three options. We said there's this pub right near our house, there's this steak place in South Yarra, and there's this other place, an Italian place, like pizza and pasta kind of thing.

And we said if you want to go here, just jump on this one tram. If you want to go here, jump on this one tram. And if you want to go here, like we can just walk there. Three very simple, clear-cut options. And from the MCG, there's like the train just walk there and three very simple clear-cut options and from the mcg there's like the train station right there there's two tram stops either side like they're just it's very easy to kind of get around from that spot we didn't really hear from them when the footy game finished we were like oh we're expecting to hear from them a certain time we didn't hear from them we were like oh maybe they're just like maybe they ran into someone they knew or something. And we end up getting a call from them and they walked from the MCG to

the middle of the city to Federation Square. That wasn't one of the three options. Was not one of the three options at all. Why did they decide to do that? So I was like, why are they in Fed Square? Like, what are they doing? And Torbs was like, I don't know. And he says to his dad, we'll just jump on the tram now and we can be in the city in 30 minutes.

They'll go, 30 minutes? Why didn't you tell us it would take so long for you to get here? And we went, and we were like, well, you didn't give us a time. Like, anyway, so they're like, oh, and we were like, we're literally walking out the door now. We'll be there in half an hour. We get on the tram, we get all the way in there, and they go, oh, all right. So good to see you guys. We're like, oh, literally walking out the door now. We'll be there in half an hour. We get on the tram. We get all the way in there and they go, oh, all right. So good to see you guys.

We're like, oh, yeah, yeah, so good. Not only have they gone in the opposite direction of everything where we said, they've just walked somewhere very random and quite hard to get something to eat. Really busy. If only they had asked someone that lives in town. Yeah. If only they knew someone who lives in this city

and could have given them directions on where to go. So we go, oh, so where do you want to eat? Because we thought maybe that someone They found someplace. Yeah. They got a hot tip. They got a recommendation. Well, they saw someone at the footy and they go, oh, you've got to go to this beer garden in fucking wherever or whatever. And you go, oh, where do you want to go? They go, cool. So

like, where was the places that you wanted to go? And I was like, they were all in the direction that we just came from. Why didn't you follow simple directions? Why didn't they follow simple directions? So I go, they were all back where we were. And they were like, oh. Oh, and I was like, yeah, so when we said like just jump on that tram or whatever, one of the options also was for me to pick them up.

I said, do you want me to just come and pick you up from the footy then we can all go somewhere together? Very nice offer. Which is quite simple, really. I'm not asking you to get involved with Ubers or a taxi or anything. Don't need no app. Don't need to call anyone. Don't need to pay for anything.

I will deal with everything. Meet me at the corner and I'll pick you up. Meet us here. And they go, oh, well, we just don't understand trams. What the fuck do you mean? Do they know what's not to get? Do they know that they don't have to drive it? They also both, like, have iPhones.

They're on rails. Like, they don't veer. You just point it north or south or east and you just sit on it. And Torbz very kindly, like, said, if you jump on the 75, take it two stops. And get off it. You'll end up there, and we will be there, and then the restaurant is right there. You'll fall out of a tram into our arms into a delicious steak.

A fucking chicken parma is going to be there with your name on it kind of thing. Anyway, and then they go. You've wrapped it all up in a little bow. You couldn't have made it easier. But they go, oh, we don't understand trams. And because instantly I'm like, well, I said I'd pick you up. I said that you could get it.

Like there were just so many options. How did you receive that news? I went, oh, I could have come and got you in like a, like why didn't you just call me? I would have come and picked you up. Internally how did you receive the news? But inside I was like there were so many options and you could have just called us.

Yeah. Like if all else fails, why did you walk quite a distance instead of just like contacting us? I can't decide which of these three east options to go with. So what I will do is just head west. Yeah, they literally went in the opposite direction and then kind of like got shitty when they were like, well, where should we eat now? I was like, well, all the options we had were in like where you were

and they got, well, where are we going to eat now? And then we had to like walk five minutes from where we were and it was a bit of a hike but like we walked up this place and we found this spot in the end and it was lovely. The food was great. Tony, they actually don't get trams. And so they kind of like, anyway, they go, we don't get trams. I was like, look, fair enough. Like, whatever, that's fine.

And then we finished dinner, right, and we knew where they were staying and I said, do you want me to order you guys an Uber or like grab a cab for you? And they go, no, no, no, no, no, that's okay. We'll just walk. And I was like, why don't you catch the tram? We can put you on the tram. Don't you be saying the T word, mate.

It's two stations. And they go, oh, like, oh, well, which one will we have to catch? And we're kind of going through it. And I'm like, so from here it's two stops. So it'll, like, this is stop seven? Yep. When it gets to the stop, it will say, this is stop nine or stop six or fucking whatever.

You'll know exactly where to get off. And Toothless' dad goes, Tony, you don't have to talk to us like that. We get trams. What the fuck? No, no, no. I actually don't think you do. I actually don't think you do. If you got trams, we would be at a restaurant that I wanted to go to.

That we picked for us to kind of all go to. We thought it would be lovely. We had a reservation, like all lovely. We had a reservation. Like, all good. You had a reservation. Yeah, I booked because I was like, they'll end up wanting to go to this steak place. We'll just do that.

And then I cancelled it and, like, told them we're not coming while we were on the tram. And what did they say? They were fine. Is there a reason for the cancellation? You go, yeah. They don't fucking get trams. And so, but I'm like, okay, hang on.

Not two, three hours ago, the reason that we couldn't go to a place is because you didn't understand trams. And now you're like yelling at me in public because you get trams and I shouldn't be so rude. And so I went, hang on, a minute ago you couldn't understand the trams and now you're yelling at me for it. He goes, no, Tony, don't.

And I went, well, no, like weaponised incompetence. You decided to fucking not. Anyway, and Torbs is just standing there like, what is going on? Would you describe it as a scene? It wasn't really a scene. It sounds like you caused a scene. We were standing at the tram. So anyway, and then like, so Torbs and I, we were going to catch the tram home and our

tram was coming towards us. And I was like, and I was like, cool, so you guys are right to get on the tram and his dad again goes, Tony, it's fine, we'll figure it out, it's fine. And I was like, well, this is our tram but we'll just wait for the next one. They go, no, no, no, jump on. And I was like, okay, just call us if you get stuck

and you can't figure it out and we'll come back. And they were like, yeah, yeah, just go, just go. And they pushed us off and they said, we'll see you tomorrow. When was this? So this is like last Saturday night. Are they still there? And then Sunday, like we get a call from them and they're like, yeah, we'll go catch up.

And I was like, oh, so how did you go with the tram? Like, oh, you're still in one piece. Like, good to know. And they go, yeah, we walked. We waited for you guys to get on the tram, then we walked home. And I was like, Torbs' mum. Tony wouldn't like this. Torbs' stepmum had specifically said, I don't want to walk.

Like, my feet are really sore. They'd fucking walked quite a way earlier in the day. Well, whose fault was that? And I was like, no, she doesn't want to walk. She wants to get the tram. Shut up. Let her take the tram. Anyway, and then the next day they go, oh, yeah, we just walked.

And I was like. So did they? So you served me because you didn't know the trams. You served me because you did. And now you walked because you couldn't figure it out. It was two stops. Did they ever intend on catching it, do you reckon? No.

I don't reckon. They were just humouring you and go, yeah, yeah, two stops sounds good, mate. No, no, you go. You go first. Yes. And then as soon as you left, they went. We're not going to fucking do that. Yeah. And then they go, yeah, yeah, two stops sounds good, mate. No, no, you go. You go first. Yes. And then as soon as you left, they went. We're not going to fucking do that. Yeah.

And then they go, oh, and we started walking and we probably walked two stops up before the tram even passed us. And I was like, well, you told me you didn't want to walk. I said I'd drive. I said like, I just gave them so many options. And I was like, I feel like a bad host. Yeah. Like because you're in our city visiting us and I've tried

to like help you out and give you all this information and still you're like, oh, like we just, we had to walk. I'm like, but we tried to help you. Can I ask a really aggressive question? Please. You love Melbourne. I love Melbourne. You love football.

Yep. How does it feel knowing that these two guys that can't even catch trams have been to the MCG before you have? Don't do this. This isn't about me. What sounds like it? Because it sounds like you're getting chirpy at a tram stop. I'm actually going to the MCG with my friend Scott in a couple of weeks.

Oh, you're Scotty. Yep. That's cute. Yep. Producer Cam's also coming. Oh, okay. Yeah. Cool. How good's Scotty Yep. That's cute. Yep. Producer Cam's also coming. Oh, okay. Yeah. Cool.

Great. Awesome. How good's Scotty, though? He's great. Yeah. So I'm really pumped. So Scott is taking us to the MCD. How you getting there?

Oh, I'll probably have to walk from Federation Square. Hey, it's Jessica from Carnarvon, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champions from the Patreon Catherine Ellingsworth, thank you so much Rebecca Elliott, you'll love to see it, thanks Bec Magda Grabowska and Kay Shen We absolutely love you guys, thank you Thank you very much

And all tiers of Patreon scrolls across the bottom of the show. So if you're a Patreon, make sure you look out for your name. Yeah, and all tiers of Patreon are also getting a discount on merch. Pretty nice little discount, isn't it? And so you could look like this good

for a bit cheaper. Oh, that's hot. Thanks. You look great today. Thank you. I actually don't. I probably, you know what, I'd do anything for a bit cheaper. Oh, that's hot. Thanks. You look great today. Thank you. I actually don't. I probably, you know what? I've pushed out the hair wash probably a day too long is all I'll say. So she's clipped, but I've probably pushed her out a day too far. No, I'd still get that. Yeah, but when you're hitting it from the back,

you can't see my hair anyway. That's the only thing I can see. Oh, the pubic hair. Sorry. Anyway. Anyway. I told my wife I was thinking of getting an Apple Watch and being a Steps guy.

Yeah. And she said, and I quote, I've never seen anyone wear an Apple Watch and not think they're a wanker. Now, I know you're an Apple Watch guy. Only when I don't wear it, like I only wear it to the gym or like if I'm swimming or whatever, I don't wear it very much. Okay. You just gave me a weird face. Yeah, because I don't wear it very much. Okay. But then how would you-

You just gave me a weird face. Yeah, because, okay, because I want to be a steps guy. Yeah. My whole thing is if I'm not wearing it, then I'm missing out on steps. Yeah, see, I see what you're saying. But you know when you see someone in formal wear and they're wearing an Apple Watch and they look like Spy Kid? Yeah. Yeah.

I think that there is a time and place. I think that like day to day, if you're at your job or whatever, I think an Apple Watch is fair game. Okay. But I think like, you know, out anywhere, nah. You can't be doing that. Because it is such a like, it's one thing to like, I mean, we're both sitting here with Apple laptops and iPhones. I feel like there's a line when you go to Apple Watch where you're like,

oh, they're like an Apple guy. You know, like. I do. I know what you mean. An Apple oh, they're like an Apple guy. You know, like. I do. I know what you mean. An Apple guy, it's like. It's a breed of their own, isn't it? It's culty. Like it's full on and like it's crazy.

And I feel like the watch is like, oh, no, he's real into that. And I just think I want to be a steps guy because as like a numbers nerd, if I can just like see the numbers, it kind of like will jolt me to, oh, well, yesterday I did 10,000 steps. Will I take the dog out tonight for a while? Oh, well, I've got to get – I just think it would be like give me a little nudge in the right direction. It is good because like the way that it works, it sounds like a fucking ad for Apple.

It's not. It's not because if you wear an Apple Watch, you're a fuckhead. But like it has like the rings on it, like the activity rings. So it's like did if you wear an Apple Watch, you're a fuckhead. But it has like the rings, like the activity rings. So it's like did you stand up enough times? Did you do enough exercise minutes and like stuff like that? It needs to be on me in the house because I reckon I did, I reckon I got up 100 times and walked five kilometres in circles around the couch trying to get Mabel to sleep.

Mabel to sleep, yeah. So I'm like I don't want to, these don't count as steps because I haven't gone to the gym, but they do because I'm doing them. But those steps are important because all those like – They all count? Yeah, they do all count because if you looked at the step count on your phone, it actually – you've probably done like a few thousand more than that because it's like, you know, if you get up and like walk

around your house like what you're doing with Mabel or if you go down and check the mail or you're putting washing on or something, you don't have your phone on you. Yeah. Like, so all that doesn't. Cause Bridget's like, why don't you just use your phone?

And I was like, no, it doesn't count. Yeah. It does feel really satisfying when you get to the end of the day and you check it and you go, fuck. Yeah.

Like I hit the count that I want ever to. So what, what's like a, is 10,000 like pushing. Is that, that's a high goal. I think 10,000 is is 10,000 like pushing, is that, that's a high goal? I think 10,000 is like what you should aim for, but it's not, if you're going from zero to 10, like you shouldn't be doing that.

And are there any that don't look shit? Like are there different types? So back, sorry, back to the steps numbers question. My trainer Maddie was like, if you aim for like six or 7,000, that's pretty like $10,000 is a lot. But if you aim for like, yeah, $5,000, $6,000, $7,000, as long as you get over $5,000, that's kind of, that's good. And can you get them to not look shit?

So I bought, remember when I bought that like glittery, like that see-through Apple Watch band and it looked less like an Apple Watch. It just looked like a digital watch. Yeah, because the girl from Spotify had one and it looked less like an Apple Watch. It just looked like a digital watch. Yeah, because the girl from Spotify had one and you wanted to be cool like her. Yeah, I wanted to be cool like her and so I found it on Amazon and I paid like $60 for it and then she was like,

oh, my God, Mama's 2Ls from Kmart. I bought it in a pinch when I thought it was like a real statement piece. But anyway. Are you still wearing that one? That's the band that I use, yeah, because it just looks like a digital watch. It doesn't look like an Apple Watch because when you see the band and you- But even a digital watch is a bit-

Digital watches are cool now, aren't they? They come back around, yeah. Those Casio ones. Watches in general because I've subscribed to GQ magazine online and it feels like some of the articles- What? Sorry. What? Why. What?

Why is that? With your briefcase? How to take your suit from day to night. All right. The thing I hate about... What beard oil do you use? The thing I hate about these laughs is I'm about to tell you something and it's going to be even worse.

Watching the F1. I subscribed to the physical GQ magazine years ago. And when you sign up for a year one, they sent me a GQ branded briefcase. Like leather, the GQ branding in it. It was more of a laptop sleeve than a briefcase. Like leather, the GQ branding in it. It was more of a laptop sleeve than a briefcase. It was like a business bag. I bet that's what they're putting in them, yeah,

but I don't know if that's what it is. It was for like carrying documents, but that's a GQ, like stitched into the leather. No, this is a business bag. Oh, do you guys do business in the nightclub toilets as well? So I do like reading. I'm just. GQ.

GQ. I like reading the profiles on some people. Oh, I love the articles. However. I'm not looking at the ladies. I like the articles! However... I'm not looking at the ladies. I like the articles. However, there is always, like, a fucking 20-page spread of, like, oh, this month in watches.

Yeah, and is that when you start reading FHM instead? Yeah. You put down your GQ, you pick up your zoo, and you go, oh. Both of these have a lot to do with the wrist, but very different actions. That's counting steps, I'll tell you what. Fuck, he's run a marathon today. He hasn't even got off the couch.

Zero. Distance run? 42 kilometres. Fucking right yourself. I was there all day. Oh, fucking hell. Sorry, the GQ, that's fucking sent me. What you think of GQ is what I think of watch wearers.

I think an Apple Watch is a bit different, and I know that they do look, it's like when you're wearing an Apple Watch, you're wearing an Apple Watch, and I get it. But I think if it's going to help you increase your steps, you've got to do what you've got to do. Okay, time to get honest here. Yeah. Because as you...

Have you actually bought it yet? No. Oh, this is all... This feels very much like Tony Louise Lodge research before buying. Remember I watched all those YouTube videos about that bag? Well, I like to consult. It was an actual bag, not a business bag. A business bag.

Tax deductible. It's a business bag. That's for networking. Lines on inscribed. If you ask a dealer for a receipt, it's quite difficult. Yeah, so I've got to give it to my boss. You take credit card. I want the points.

Yeah, I want a point. Can I have a point and a bag? Oh, sorry, that's not what I asked for. What the fuck was I even talking about? I have no idea. I said, have you actually bought the watch? Oh, no, because any big life purchase, I need the Tony Lodge sign off. Yeah.

I'm not a good person to ask because you know that I buy stuff like that. Oh, no, here's what I'm saying. I don't exercise as much as I did when I was 20. And I mean, who does when they're 35? Who does? Oh, my God. Yeah. Am I – walking is a form of exercise.

Yep. But am I wanting to increase my walking or am I just trying to claim the walking I'm already doing as exercise? And is that a cop out? You know what I'm saying? I don't need to go to the gym because I have a watch on when I walk around the house. I spent $600 to prove to myself that I'm exercising. I do get what you mean.

But, like, exercise is exercise, isn't it? Yeah. Like, if that's what you need to do to make, you know? Yeah. Like, it's not lying. It's not going like, oh, well, did you exercise? Oh, no, you didn't. But you're like, well, actually, like I've done a million steps today.

Because I, you know how you just said like no one exercises as much now as they did like when they were 20. At the moment I'm exercising more than I probably ever have in my life. Yeah, you have. Like I'm like exercising real hardcore. You are. You're doing good. Thank you.

In fact, and I think I said to this the other week as a compliment. Yeah. But I don't like how much you're showing up the rest of us with how well you're doing. Thank you. I appreciate that. You're doing so well. I've never been this person in a group of friends.

You're doing so well, it's pissing me off. Thank you. I appreciate that. You're welcome. But so I'm like training in the gym with my trainer. Next week I'm going to four times a week. So at the moment I do three times a week and next week I'm doing four. So it's like Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday.

And the thing that I have to do like around that is get my steps up because like I just don't do do it and if I'm at home working I'll work from when I wake up at 8 30 or whatever until seven o'clock and I'll realize that I have sat at my fucking computer all day and not done anything at least now with Mabel you've got to like walk her around and do stuff but like you know when you just get in the zone and you just sit down you don't do anything I miss those those days. So, yeah, I miss doing nothing. So I realised I needed to get my steps up. The Apple Watch wasn't cutting it.

And so I bought a treadmill. What? Because I realised. No, hang on, hang on. Because I realised I wasn't doing my steps And it was getting to like 3, 4 o'clock In the afternoon When did we talk about the George Foreman grills?

Yesterday Okay yesterday on the show We said Tony's considering buying a house Because her current one is too cluttered with dumb shit She decided to buy on a whim Where in your house? At the moment it's like leaning against the wall in our living room. It's arrived.

Yeah, so the thing is Hang on, hang on. I know where you could put it. In your apartment building there's this big room downstairs called a gym. A gym, yeah. You could put it next to the other treadmills that you already pay for in your rent. Okay, so you don't actually have to be an arsehole, is

what I would first say. You're right, I don't have to be. The thing is, is that I realised, I was like, oh, there's a gym downstairs. I won't buy a treadmill. Oh, I can go for a walk around the block. I won't do that. But then I was like, well, I'm not doing it. So I have to change something. So when in doubt, like me, you just spend money.

So I was like, well, if I'm not doing that, maybe then while I'm watching TV at night time, I could just do my steps in front of the telly. I talked through this idea with my partner, Torbs, and I was like I just need to get my steps up. He was like, oh, my God, yeah. I looked on Kogan and, again, not an ad, but they had like. It's like the cheap knockoff version.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Aldi version of electronics. Right. This does sound like an ad. Is that an ad? Is that what they want? No, this is not an ad. If you Aldi version of electronics. Right. This does sound like an ad. Is that an ad? Is that what they want to be known as? No, this is not an ad. If you want something cheap and fucked.

No. You've come to the right place. And so I was looking and they had these walking pads. So not like a proper treadmill, but it's like just so that you can kind of like actually do it. What? Roll the legs over. Is that what they taught you in GQ? Anyway, and so I looked at this walking pad and it was like $200

and I was just like, fuck, like that's a lot cheaper than a proper treadmill. It's probably not going to be amazing but it's going to do the job like perfectly. And I said to Torbs, I was like, I'm going to buy this thing. And he goes, oh, so you're going to do your steps at night time? And I was like, yeah. And he goes, oh, I think I want to do that as well.

Am I about to find out you're going to be doing dueling stepping? So we bought two treadmills. You did not. Where the fuck are they going to go? So they are against the wall and, like, when we use them, we'll take them out and then put them away. You will never do that. Yeah, we haven't so far and we've had them for... Have you ever used them once?

Yeah, once. You've used them once? Once. How long have you had it? Longer than Mabel's been alive. Wow. Wow. Yep. Because I'm not an asshole and I'm a supportive friend. Oh, fuck, you're not showing that right now. And because I'm a supportive friend.

Yeah. I was so supportive of your Apple Watch. What I will note is that you've used it more times than the stand-up paddleboard. Thank you. No, same amount of times because I used the stand-up paddleboard once. Yeah, technicality. How is that a technicality? You didn't stand on it.

I am actually so fucking sick of this. I used it. I couldn't stand on it. There was an oil spill in the water. This is so, that's so, producer Cam, can you please fucking mediate this? That's so unfair. Yeah, all right, all right. You have to pay that as once.

I still went down and pumped the fucking cunt of a thing up. All right, all right. You have to pay that as once. I still went down and pumped the fucking cunt of a thing up. All right, you know what? Yeah, you did use it. Thank you. You did use it. Does carrying the treadmill up from downstairs, does that count as one? I need to take this off. This is such a good quality jumper that I'm going to want.

It's too warm. It's too warm. You pissed me right off. And I've gotten all hot. If I come round to your place for like a little work meeting, can we dual step? Yeah, we can. Like a walking meeting?

Because we've got two treadmills. Yeah. So we've got two. And I was like, why do we buy two? They're so much bigger than we thought they were going to be. Are they pretty big? It's pretty big, yeah. thought they were going to be.

Are they pretty big? It's pretty big, yeah. It's like they fit where they fit for when we're not using them and they're out of the way. But the thing is is that when something's out of the way, you don't use it. Yeah, it's a catch-22. You know what I mean? So it's like, yeah, it fits, but does it really fit?

Can you put them at the back, like underneath in the courtyard? So at the moment, probably not because it's like raining and really cold and they'll probably just like seize up and stop working. Yeah, fuck off. You know what I mean? So I get the whole like let's walk together. So this isn't a question.

But did you consider going like, oh, if we're going to get two things, do you want to get a rower and a treadmill or a bike and a treadmill? Because then at least. That did not cross my mind. Really? No. But you see where my mind. Really? No. But you see where I'm coming from? Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah, it's a really great point if only you were there. Yeah. If Torbs is doing something and I want to change it up, well, I've got some options. We're going to have to get two things. Well, I think it was purely because we were both like the steps is what we need to do. Because when we take Pip for a walk in the morning,

because she's so little and she can't walk that far, like we jog her around the block and then she's fucked and we're like, okay, well, that isn't enough. And so we were like, and then when it's cold and wet and rainy, then we can't use it as an excuse. And I'm so annoyed because I put the money into it thinking like that's going to help. But, I mean, yeah.

I was really supportive of you on your Apple Watch, though, and you've been nasty to me about my stand-up paddleboard and my gym and now my steps. The reason I'm being, you know our thing, the only people who judge you are the ones who are doing less. Remember eight minutes ago when I said I'm getting fucked off about how well you're doing? Yes.

I think if I'm being honest with me and everyone listening and watching, I'm just taking out my jealousy on you. Okay, well, I appreciate that. And I'm sorry. I love it when people are jealous of me, so thank you for saying that. I'm so jealous of you. Yeah, thank you. Guess how many books I've written.

How many? None. Yeah. I'm just writing a book and walking on my treadmill with my Apple Watch on. What a fucking life. It's pretty good. So hang on. Yeah.

For the house that you may want to purchase in the next few years, do you need a gym room? Do we, where does the George Foreman go? Is there enough power points for the George Foreman and the multiple treadmills? Two treadmills. Like what am I up to? During COVID.

What am I actually up to? During COVID I brought a rowing machine. Was there a rowing machine? Did you? Yeah. But because I got a cheap one off Amazon and because like I'm a strong young lad. Yeah.

My weight was a bit too heavy for the thing. So when I like really ripped back on the row, like the whole thing lifted up and nearly ripped the carpet out and I ended up on, like, the... Because you can imagine, like, if it's a light one. Yeah. And then when you go forward, the whole thing kind of, like... And because also at the gym they're normally, like,

adhesive to the ground or bolted in or whatever. So if you're, like, kind of rocking it around or whatever. Have you ever had sex on a really shit bed on floorboards? And you kind of start to walk out the window. Yeah. So that's me on a rower. Oh, right yourself. On a poor man's rower.

Yeah. Only took a fucking couple of goes then. And then because it was a cheap one, the like highest level of pool was not that high. Oh, yeah. So I was just like... So you're like, I might as well not be doing this. I might as well just stay in bed. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. And I mean... And go for a run. Go for a run. For those watching at home, I showed that I would be using my wrist to get my steps up. For those watching at home, they would have seen. Listening.

Okay. So where are we at? Where are we finishing? Okay, this is it. So Tony's got two treadmills. Yeah. And I don't have an Apple Watch. I think, okay, here's what. I'm doing the right things.

I'm taking the right steps. Not that I like that. Not that I need like Bridget's sign off. Yeah. But hang on, let's role play. Yeah. And just you will play the role of Bridget. Oh that I like that. Not that I need like Bridget's sign off. Yeah. But hey, let's role play. Yeah. And just you will play the role of Bridget. Oh, Kia ora.

I'm a Kiwi from New Zealand. She does knock down like that. She's a Kiwi from New Zealand. And you're just going to be like, oh, here's the line you need to say. Do people really waste money on stuff like that? Okay. Oh, don't. No, but then here's the line.

And I'm fucking so ready to say this. Hey, Bridget, I'm thinking of getting an Apple Watch. Oh, do people really waste... Well, Tony bought two treadmills, so the least I can do is get an Apple Watch. You just apologise for being a dick. You're Bridget. Or are you still being Bridget?

You just apologise for being a duck. Being a duck? Being a duck. I'm just trying to better my health. You're not trying, you're doing it. Yeah, thank you. And I want to be doing it. You're flip-flopping and I just can't keep up. That's because I'm not getting exercise.

I'm all over the place. Your brain's not. Yeah, I'm not there. I'm so, I'm proud of you. No, you're not. I am. I actually just can't wait to come around and see. Should we do the next live stream for the champion tapas of us both walking?

Yep, we can because I've got two treadmills. Tax ride off! Who's got the business bag now? Business ride. No. If someone from the ATO is watching, if you get a whiff of treadmill on Tony's tax return this year, fucking red flag that shit.

Nah, it's going to be on the business one. Red flag that shit. It's on the business one. Fucking not our one. Thank you very much. All right. I've got to get up to see it. And I know this is like a whole 10-minute spiel and it sounds like a fucking 80s show,

but just give me a one-word answer. Tony, imagine you're on a first date. Yep. With a guy. Yep. Do you expect him to pay? No. Okay.

This lady named Rachel tweets. Sorry if I fucked you. No, no. This lady. No, because that's like, because you're a modern woman and you can fucking pay your own bills. Oh, I just wouldn't expect anyone to pay anywhere. This lady named Rachel tweets, I'm going on a date tonight and I have $11 in my account. Let's hope he's not a feminist. Ha ha. So. I get the joke.

Yeah, I get the joke. And so then everyone's like, we get it, ha ha. A few hours later, she tweets again with like an update. Yeah. He said in the first three minutes, I follow you on Twitter and don't worry, I've got you covered. Oh, that's quite funny. That is very funny.

But like I would just never do, this is not me trying to fucking be a dick, but like I would never do anything if I didn't know that I could pay because how embarrassing if then he's like, cool, let's split it. And you go, I thought that. Like if I did that with you. It's 1945. If I did that.

Girls don't pay. If you and I went out for dinner, right, and we got to the end and you went, oh, let's put it. And I went, bro, I don't have any money. You would go, fuck. Okay. Like, because we're friends. But on a date, you know, like, you're trying to put your best foot forward.

You can't. Because this person has gone, oh, we'll do the right thing. We'll split it down the middle. Then you go, oh, fuck. I thought this was a done deal. Fuck. person has gone, oh, we'll do the right thing, we'll split it down the middle, then you go, oh, fuck. I thought this was a done deal. Fuck. One of my favorite things to do is to say, hey, Tony, do you want the good news or the bad news?

And Tony goes, oh, I don't give a fuck. I already know the joke. It's fucking lame. And I go, good news is I'm getting us coffees. Bad news is- I forgot my wallet. And you get to pay. Yeah.

Every week. And it goes down this well every time. Yeah, this morning you got a coffee and a little muesli bar, didn't you? So that's all right. Just write it down. Anyway. Thank you. Might love to see it.

Which I thought you would really like. It's very sweet. Is that in Michigan, a five-year-old boy invited his entire kindergarten class to witness his adoption. Oh, yeah. And it's this little boy, and he's sitting there with, I guess it's his adoptive parents. It seems to be parents, yep.

And here's the photo. Oh, it's so cute. We'll pop it in the video show. And everybody sitting behind him is just like a bunch of kids, a bunch of five-year-olds, and they've got these little hearts on sticks showing that they're like really proud of him and really excited. And they are genuinely really proud of him. It's so, so beautiful.

It's like you love to see that. So heartwarming, eh? It's beautiful. Beautiful. And I think when it's like that final – have you got goosebumps? No, I was just scratching my eyes. Oh. It's a beautiful moment, isn't it?

I've actually got a skin condition. Yeah, I've actually got eczema. I don't have eczema. Please don't fucking send me your fucking oceans and potions and fucking stuff. I've got a recommendation. I recommend people... The recommendation is to stop sending me fucking lotions and potions. Send Toni a message and give her some advice.

Because she's never had that before and I think she'd appreciate it. I could really do with some advice. And now it's not technically unsolicited because you've just solicited for it, so I can't even get annoyed. Or, better idea. Yeah. Don't give advice, just like point it out. Go, hey, I don't know if you know, but your skin's a bit shit on your hand.

Yeah, I don't know if you know this, but that's disgusting. What is it, actually? Psoriasis. Psoriasis. Yeah, I reckon DM Tony go, I don't know if you know this, but you've got psoriasis on your hands. No, you know what's better than that? Tony, I don't know if you know this, but you've got eczema.

I go, it's not eczema. And they go, it is. No, it is. I've actually seen it. Yeah. You know what the thing is, is that no one knows better than the person with the psoriasis that they've got the psoriasis.

I tell you who might know better, the multiple specialists who you've gone to and have confirmed that in fact you do have psoriasis. Psoriasis, yeah. Now, I actually think though, it's eczema. Imagine if I go back in there, I go back to the dermatologist and I go, well, about 20 people online told me it's eczema. So are you sure that you know that it's psoriasis? Then she quits.

She shuts down her dermatology clinic, hands the keys over to the guys on Instagram that know that I've got eczema. She goes and starts her own gym with treadmills. I mean, it's a whole for a second. Her and I are actually going into business together. Or you could use a treadmill each. You've got two of them. Yeah, there you go.

We were on a meeting talking about my eczema. Eczema, yeah. Anyway. This has been off the fucking rails. Sorry. We on. Yeah. Shit, I'm sorry, everyone.

I mean, we are on, but we've been off. You know what I'm saying? You got undressed mid-episode. I did. I got so hot that you pissed me off so much I got hot. I know I did. I'm not denying that, but I do want to say I am actually fucking proud of you getting it done.

Thanks. Yeah. Appreciate that. And I fucking hate it because you're showing me up. You're not. Oh, sorry. My disgusting skin. Is that extra contagious?

Is that contagious? I'm proud of my psoriasis. I wear it with pride. Don't have an option, but I wear it with pride. I had a choice. I would choose not to, but I don't. So here we are. But here we are.

Pride it is. We are back on Monday. You actually pull them this way? If you come back around. Yeah. See what's on Monday. Oh, I'm pitching a new segment. Well, I'm going to shoot you down like you shot down my treadmills.

Nah, this is for you. But in the meantime, over the weekend, if you find yourself at a loose end, go to TonyAndRyan.com.au, maybe check out some merch. Can we do Tony and Ryan treadmills? I don't want to be the reason that someone has a treadmill they're not using. I respect that. You know what I mean?

Well, you are at the moment. Yeah, I know. And one's enough. Two's enough. Oh, shit. Love you. Fuck, this has made my weekend. We've got to go.

This has made my weekend. I'm going. I'm going to walk home. On the treadmill? Yeah. Okay, bye.