Toni and Ryan - Anxiety for the win

Episode Date: January 10, 2023

TODAY I PROVED RYAN WRONG! And that's all you need to know! Hehe love ya Toni xoxox Come say hey and get a selfie with us in front of our HOT FUN GARBAGE TRUCK! Saturday 21st January , St Kilda Beach (look for our giant faces on a garbo truck) Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Plus you can find the links to pre-order Toni's book here! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the podcast. Hello. The best podcast in the world, according to us. According to us. Actually wasn't the top of my Spotify wrapped. Oh, okay. Shout out to Pivot by New York Magazine. Great.

But hey, for some. Big fan. Big fan. We are going to call, it says Pacific Time. Nicholas. Should we assume that's California? I don't know. That could be many things.

I've never been to Hollywood. So I can't help you there. Hello? Hello, Nick. Oh, my goodness. Tony and Ryan. Yes. Hello.

Nick, how are you? Honestly, you guys are 20 minutes late again, but I'm good. We actually tried to call and I wonder if something like blocked in your calendar or something. We were trying to get through and it went, no, outbound. Oh, my gosh. Well, you know what? The Canadian Telecommunications Service is a giant oligopoly,

so I would not be surprised. And the reason we called later than we originally planned the first time, what were you doing just a few moments ago today? Honestly, super boring. I'm at work, so I was just answering email. I thought you were getting a massage. Yeah, I know. Oh, you know what?

It's so sad. It got cancelled last minute, so no massage for me. Oh, God. A cancelled massage and you have to talk to us. What a terrible day. Yeah, terrible day. Terrible day. Well, Nick, even though things have gone wrong for you today,

will you approve the podcast? Of course I'd approve the podcast. Yes. Not as good as a massage, but still pretty good. Sweet. This is Nick from Vancouver, and I approve this podcast. Tony, believe it or not, I've actually written you some books. What? Yep.

So is it now author Tony Lodge and author I and John? Oh, that feels like I'm cutting in on your turf. It does. You can pre-order my book now. You can pre-order Tony's book. You can't pre-order my books, but I've got a choice. Actually, no, I've got some ideas for books, and you're going to choose which one you would like.

Oh, okay. Yeah. I like that. That's coming up soon. That's coming up soon. Well, speaking of the book that you didn't write but that I did write, I wrote a book. Congratulations.

Last year. Last Congratulations. Last year. Last year. Last year. Finished the book. It comes out this year, Feb 28. You can pre-order worldwide now at the link in our bio. Show notes. Fuck, every time.

But so the book is like done and now they're printing it. So it's kind of all out of my hands. And I have to do publicity and stuff when the book comes out. What does that mean, we have to do publicity? Oh, yeah, sorry, that sounds real. For us non-authors. Well, it actually, I don't really know either. They just keep saying that to me.

And I'm just like, oh, yeah, the publicity. Yeah, we're going to send a few emails out. Yeah, the publicity, yeah. So they were kind of telling me what it might involve. I might have to go on TV or do like an interview on a podcast or something like that. Got to sell this thing. Spend a year writing it.

Well, yeah. And then I've got to go to Perth for a wedding in March. And so they were like, oh, well, if you're going to be in Perth anyway, maybe we can do a little book signing or something like that. All TB deep. Don't all message me at once and go, what's happening? I don't actually know yet. What's that sick Westfield?

Is it Cannington? Carousel. That Westfield is fucking elite. Have you been there recently? Yeah. Yeah, you've got to do it. If you do a signing in Perth, do it there. Yeah.

Have you actually been there in the last like two years? It's like quadrupled in fucking size. Yeah, yeah. Insanity. That was my go-to. But like have you been there very recently? Like when was the last time you went there? Like just pre-COVID.

No, it's like huge now. Really? Yes. Again? Yes. Right. So it used to be the biggest shopping centre in the Southern Hemisphere and then Chadston took over.

And they've taken it back. And I think it's back. Fucking cop that, Chadston. Yeah. Anyway. Sort your parking out Chadston. Yeah. Anyway. Sort your parking out. It's by the by. Oh, the parking at every shopping centre is fucking a bit shit.

But we'll get to that later. Will we? Stay tuned. Anyway, so they kind of tell me all this stuff. The only thing that I still had to do was record the audio book. Yes. So lots of people have asked if I'm reading the audiobook. Yes, I have. I am. I did. And so did you get to give passion? Because remember we were chatting about that?

Yeah. And so I got to kind of like, there are parts when like, oh, well, I mean, you've read it. So there are parts where it's obviously conversations that I'm having with my family or with Torbs or whatever. And I've gone like like I yelled at this person and I yelled in the book. Oh, great. And then there's like really sad bits of the book where I'm like talking about my mum and I started crying and that's all in there. Really? Yeah.

So there are parts where I'm like choking on my own saliva because it's so sad. It's going to be a tough chapter or two there. I really want people to cry though because I cried. So it's like yeah I'm hoping that people like really feel that I think they will but also if you cry let me know yeah I'd love to know um so beforehand they sent through all of these really intense instructions so I recorded it with like a a totally different studio and people that I hadn't been dealing with.

So through the whole process of writing the book, I had one editor, Tessa, who I get along really well with and she kind of led everything. But the audio book is like a totally separate part of the whole thing. So it was all these people I didn't know and I couldn't just come into our studio and record it. I wrote the thing. I'll just go and nut it out at Tony and Ryan headquarters. I'll just do a voicemail on my phone, send that through. It's in 60 emails.

I hope that's okay. But they send through all of these like crazy instructions like bring this, do not bring this. This is how you park at the studio. This is how you access the studio by public transport. If you're walking, walk through this way. If you're getting an Uber, put this address in because it always gets lost if you put this address in. Question.

Yeah, question. As someone who wants to be organised and doesn't like to be late and needs to know what to wear, what to wear, did you find all of this helpful or did the fact that it was so detailed stress you out because it felt like there was all these things you could do wrong? Kind of the second one. Right.

So I was like, you've given me like too many like details. So where's your sweet spot? Well, I feel like knowing the time and someone being like, oh, there's a bit of parking here or. Because I know if there's not enough info, Tony is a mess. One time I said, oh, we're going to go around to that person's place in the afternoon. I remember. Yeah. Is this when we went and looked at that studio?

Yeah. Yeah. And I was like, oh, what time? Like, oh, I just said whenever we finish work we'll go around. So, you know, you just let me know when you're free. And you go, yeah, okay, cool. Yeah, but what time? Yeah.

I just, I like need a time. Yeah. So they told me that it would be 9.30. Yeah. But then they sent through like two pages of all these other notes and they're like, you need to bring your copy of the book. Like we like, we'll not kind of, we can't promise you that we have your book. So before I went, so I was like, okay, so I got a copy of the book on my iPad and then I messaged them and was like, Hey, I'm just sending you a

copy just in case you don't have it. They go, oh, we've got it. Don't stress. And I was like, well, you've sent me quite intense information saying that you wouldn't fucking have it. Is there anything in these emails that were like underlined, in bold, any capital letters? A lot of that. A bit of italics, a bit of like.

And because my publisher is paying for this time, like I'm not, I'm not, they're not saying, oh, well, Tony, if you want to come and record your audio book, it costs $100. Someone else is paying for this. I'm like, cool, well, I can't fucking be late. I have to make sure that I don't. Don't want to waste a minute. I'm not going to piss them off.

You know, I want to be as prepared as possible. And I emailed them and I'm like, here's my copy of the book. Would you prefer that it was printed because I can go to Officeworks, get some printed for you guys. I've also got an iPad. I can do that. And they're like, oh, it's actually whatever. And I was like, okay, well, I'm getting very different,

like, ends of the spectrum here. So I'm thinking. Just tell me what to do. But because they'd sent all this information, right, I'm thinking it's fucked over there. I'm like, it's obviously very intense, very serious. When they get serious on those, it sounds like a madhouse. I'm scared.

I didn't even have to do it. And so because they were really strict about everything and time limits and someone else was paying, I was like, I cannot be late. Imagine if I rock over there with, you know, half an hour to spare, but then I can't fucking find a parking spot or whatever. So I'm just like getting more and more anxious. And it's a Saturday night and I was supposed to start on Monday morning at 9.30. Were you having a moment?

I was having a little bit of a moment. Were there tears? No tears, but I was just getting a bit worked up. Okay, yeah. And I messaged my friend Jane, who lives in the suburb where the recording studio is in Port Melbourne. And I was like, Jane, I'm just wondering, on Monday morning, I've got to be there at 9.30. How long do you reckon it will take to get there from Richmond? And I compared her answer with what like Google Maps suggested and then added like 15 minutes. You got the median of inputted

information. Yes. Then round it up. Because I'm not just going to take one person's information. Otherwise I would have just Googled it, but I'm like, I'll get a real person, I'll get a computer, and then I'll extrapolate. The average carried the two. Yes, exactly. And so I took both of their information. I'm like looking on the map. They've given me three options of like Uber, public transport,

and parking. So I'm like, there's obviously no fucking parking over there. I'm straight. Why? Well, because otherwise I was like, if they were like, look, there's heaps of fucking parking, then they wouldn't bother giving me other information? Wouldn't they?

Well, that's just what I figured. Okay. I don't know. Anyway, so I'm like, fuck this. I'm just going to drive over there tomorrow. So this is a Saturday night. Saturday night. I was like, I'll just drive over there tomorrow.

It is probably like 20, 30-minute drive from my tomorrow. So this is a Saturday night. Saturday night. I was like, I'll just drive over there tomorrow. It is probably like 20, 30 minute drive from my house. Okay. And there was no traffic because it was a Sunday. Yep. So I did the drive over there. That was all good. And it was lucky that I did because it was a bit of a tricky off-ramp situation. Yeah, off the, we come out of the tunnel.

Over Montague Street. Yeah. And so I did that. So I was like, oh, that's actually very good that I've done that. Get to the place and there's like a bit of street parking around. There's a little bit of parking on the side that they explained and another couple of spots that I can see. So I was like, okay, this is probably going to be all right.

So when you go to scout parking, do you actually park in the spot and kind of take a breath and look around or do you just drive past? I parked out the front, did a bit of a recce around, and I was like, cool, there's a few spots up there, a couple here. That one's a four-hour and I've got a four-hour session, so that's probably going to be okay. So I'm kind of like really like rinsing the area for options. Did you at any stage feel like a fucking idiot?

Or just question like am I actually here doing this? Torbs was being very supportive and I was like this just feels very intense given all the information they'd given me. I was like I just can't fuck this up. I can't be late. Was it almost like spending half an hour doing this Sunday morning is an extra two hours sleep I'll get Sunday night? A hundred percent. Then I don't need to worry about it. I've already scoped it

out. Exactly. So I was like, then I'm not going to be driving there the whole time on the Monday morning going, fuck, what's the parking like? Fuck. You know, it was just, you know, like, what's that like preparation prevents piss poor performance thing, you know? Yep. Yeah. So I was like, cool. If I've done a bit of a recce, I feel like I'll be all right. Yep. 8.30 Monday morning, I'm finishing getting ready. I'm like about to leave the house. I get a text from you. Yep. And I don't know any of this information.

No, you didn't know any of this. Your message, it was actually the sweetest text. Thank you. When it popped up, I was not only flattered that you'd remembered that I was doing that that day. Of course I remember. But we both had our stuff going on. Yeah, but we've got shared calendars on Google.

So it literally popped up and told me. No, I remembered. No, I know. I remembered. Anyway, so I get this message from you. Have fun recording today. Yeah. And then the next message says, I hope you find a car park easily,

which is my love language. It is. It was honestly, I read it and it gave me like a little giggle and I really appreciated it. Then I said, that's the nicest thing you could wish for me. I drove over there yesterday though to scope out the parking, believe it or not. And you said, I believe it but I just, my neck is sore from it or not. Yeah. And you said, I believe it, but I just, my neck is sore from shaking my head.

Yeah. Did you drive over Saturday to see if there was room to park for your Sunday parking scouting mission? That's a fair question. And I said, no, of course not. I did my Google Maps research on Saturday. We know each other. We know each other.

Yeah, we do. And you made fun of me and you were like, Tony, like you obviously don't need to do that. Like that's so ridiculous. But it ended up working out. I did get there on the Monday morning. There was plenty of fucking parking. It was totally fine.

Would you say there was? There was too much parking. Yeah, that's what I mean. Yeah. It was too easy and you're like, no. But it was almost too easy. I was like, were you all good? What day is it today?

Is it public holiday? And I'm just like, oh, good? What day is it today? Is it public holiday? Have I fucked this up? And I'm just like, oh, my God, is it still Monday? Is it still 9.30? Like all this stuff. If you got there in too good a time and you only had a four-hour parking spot, is that like then you're too early? No, so I found another spot that wasn't four hours.

Okay, great. Because I was too early. I did have to kill a lot of time. I ate some rice crackers in the car. But you made fun of me quite a bit. You thought, like, Tony, that's such overkill. Sure. The following week, your wife was in hospital.

Oh. When? Yep, she was. She's all good. Like, it was just some precautions for daughter-McDaughter face. Daughter-McDaughter face is keen. She's keen to come. She's ready.

She's ready to party. And we're like, no, you're not, mate. Yeah, sweetheart, you stay inside. Before you come out here and hang out, why don't you get some lungs first? Yeah, we'd love actually for you to have some lungs. That would be awesome. Yes. I didn't realise this was going to be turned around on me.

Yeah. Oh, okay, right. So you actually. Just remember how supportive I was. So you actually said, that's fucking stupid. Yep. But then Bridget, you had to take her to the hospital. Yep.

And you drove her in. Yep. And you took her to the hospital that you're planning on giving birth at, correct? At the Mercy, yep. Yeah, great. Mercy Women. Lovely people down there. They are actually fantastic.

They did an amazing job with you guys. Yep. I get a phone call from you and you're driving home. Yeah. And because I'm getting the car phone, I think I said this the other day, I'm getting the car phone calls every day from you like filling me in. It was great and I felt very loved to be like part of the process. Included, yep.

But I also felt like I was doing a good job of like supporting you guys and checking in and stuff. Absolutely, yep. And so we're on the phone. This is the first day. We're on the phone and you go, oh. So this is about five days after I've done my wrecking. I hate this story. And you go, oh, I tell you what, Tone, it was actually great going in there first and kind of like scouting out the parking, seeing where the ward is

and, you know, seeing everything, you know, lay the land. And I go, so what are you saying? Someone's changed this tune. And you go, it was great to have a bit of a recce beforehand and you're running on no sleep. You're not realising what you're saying. I'm burying myself. So I would just like for you to repeat that you thought

that it was actually very good and very handy to do a bit of a recce before the fact. This is bullshit. All right. First of all, we'd never seen inside like a birth suite. Yeah. And so it's like, oh, now we know what it looks like. Yeah.

Well, I'd never been to the recording studio. So same thing. Yep. Next. You'd never met the nurse. Oh, well, I hadn't met the woman that was recording me either. Next. You didn't know where to park.

You actually parked in the ambulance bay for a little while. Yeah, okay, let me. Do you want me to defend some part first or tell the ambulance story? Okay, I'll tell the ambulance story. So we get to emergency and, you know, when your wife is pregnant and cramping and unwell. Yeah, you're just trying to get her in. So I parked, in hindsight, I would say comedically sprawl

or splooting across the front door of the hospital with our car. Yeah, your golf was across four parks. So, yeah, in Bridget's car. Just parked literally across the front door of emergency and then just walked Bridget in. And then, you know, I'll come this way and we checked and they go to the triage and you go through to the birthing suite.

And then it was about two hours later and I was like, excuse me, bro, do you know whose car's parked right across the front of the emergency door where any ambulances need to come in and out of? And I went, yeah, yeah, no, I know whose car. That's Bridget's car. That's how we got here. And they go, oh, do you want to, like, put it, like, anywhere else? And I was like, yeah, that's probably a great fucking call.

And they go, yeah, so next time when you come, you can park. And, again, it's like, see that spot two metres away at the side of the door? You're not looking for that when you're in a rush. No. That's fair enough. So it is good. It is good to know now. I want you to say, luckily we did a recce beforehand.

Because I know that that's the truth. And I would like you to apologise to me. I will say the line and I will apologise. I will, however, just let you know that there are a lot of mums listening to this show and they're hearing you comparing reading a book to giving birth. Is that what you're doing? No, we're comparing recces.

No, that's not what it sounds like. It sounds like you think reading a book is harder than giving birth. You're lashing out because you're embarrassed and that's not what it sounds like. It sounds like you think reading a book is harder than giving birth. I don't. You're lashing out because you're embarrassed and that's okay. My name is Ryan. I did a recce. I checked the parking. And now for future, I am better for it.

Yes. Fuck you. I didn't know this was going to happen. This is bullshit. It's bullshit! Hey, this is Nick from Vancouver, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. Thank you so much for being here.

Rickety Beat, thank you very much. Jordan Montgomery, fucking good on ya. Tasha Bourne and the Little Woot. The Little Woot! The Little Woot claims he has not had a champion tapas shout-out. I rebutted this. I refuted that. Yeah, I refute that.

If I had a dollar for every time the little Woot claimed something. But then the little Woot said, no, you've talked about me being a pest, but I've never had a champion type of shout out. If being called out as a pest, is that not a shout out these days? What do you want instead? Yeah. I mean, Tony's never had a champion type of shout out, but she still gets plenty of air time.

That's a great point. Yeah. Little Woot should have done a recce before. No, Little Woot, thank you. You're a prized possession of ours. You are. You are, Anna, just a cherished possession. Should have done a recce on that sentence.

A prized possession of this planet. This podcast? No, planet. Planet, all right. Yep. What have we got here? Oh, fuck, you're making fun of me again. So now we're talking about the book that you wrote.

Yeah. Well, what did you say? You saw me do something online. So I, over the break, I'm minding my own business, living my best life, playing fucking Uno on the PlayStation or whatever I was fucking doing, taking a little break. Watching the cricket. Watching the cricket.

Not the big bad league test. Not the fucking BBL. I'm watching the test. It got rained out the other day. Did you see that? Low light. Yeah. You wouldn't have that problem at the BBL because I got all those

bloody lights flashing all over the place. Yep, yep. And I innocently open up my Instagram and I see this story from Ryan John, who famously cannot read, and it says, just wondering if anybody's got any parenting podcasts, TV shows, movies that, you know, like educational resources that I could, you know, have a look at before I become a dad, books as well.

Mate, what are you doing? You're lying to everybody. You're lying to yourself. What do you mean? You're not going to sit down and pick up a book. You're not. You complained about having to write my book. Yeah, I write your book. Yeah, You complained about having to write, read, not write my book. Yet I write your book.

Yeah. You complained about having to read my book. And the only reason that you had to read mine was so that your name could be on it and you could write a little like testimony. I would like to note that my testimony is not on the front cover. It's not on the front cover. Which is fucking bullshit. You're very dirty about it. Yeah. It's on the back cover, which all the good stuff goes apparently. Hey mate, you love the back of me.

What's the problem? Yeah. It's in the back of your – Maybe it's a compliment for you that your book is a gateway book. Maybe you're such a good writer you've opened me up to this new world of literacy and – not literacy, literature. And, oh, this – literature and maybe not. Maybe you're a gateway book is what I'm saying.

Do you think that? Yeah. That's really nice. That's actually a lovely thing to say. Well, a lot of people listen to our podcast and think, I don't listen to podcasts, but I listen to yours. That is true, actually. Yeah, that's a nice thing to hear.

It is lovely when people say that. So maybe that's what you've done. You've converted a non-reader into a reader. Oh, my God. Put that on the front cover. If you had have written that, it would have gone on the front. Fuck you. That is a good line.

Actually, maybe that was one of the – did I put that on as one? I fucking can't remember. Mate, I got so many testimonies coming at me. Anyway, a lot of great advice and a lot of good recommendations coming through. Be honest, though. You were hoping for podcasts or TV or like that's more what you're after. Yeah, but I feel like even if I purchase a book, it's just like.

You gain something from just owning it. It's just showing my intentions. Yeah. It's when the book rocks up and it goes, how to be the best dad and supportive husband. And then Bridget sees that book rock up, she goes, oh, he's fucking in. Yeah. He's not mucking around.

Even if I don't read it. Like she still gets that hit of like, he cares. Yeah. Or is it she still going to read it? I don't, I haven't heard that. Oh, yeah. Yeah. If people just buy my book, I'd be happy.

Yeah, exactly. There were a lot of great, and I love, obviously, we've got little clips on TikTok and Instagram. I love the reels and stuff. And there's all these great informative like midwives with like these hot little tips. Cool. Because as you know, reading takes a long time. It does. I've got aels and stuff. And there's all these great informative midwives with these hot little tips. Cool. Because as you know, reading takes a long time. It does.

I've got a short attention span. So when they're like, hey, here's two hot tips to do the day before you go into hospital. Do or don't do this or whatever. And thank you everyone. They're like some great advice. That's awesome. A lot of people recommended, now this isn't for the birth, but just for like being a dad in general, Hamish Blake's new podcast from Hamish Nanny.

It's called How Other Dads Dad. Yeah. And it's not just like two boys like shooting the breeze. It's like it's actually very like describe your parenting style in this word. Yeah. Why do you do this? Why don't you do it? It's actually very actionable, which is like Hamish is a comedian,

so I didn't know what I was expecting, but it's actually fantastic. And easy to listen to. Very easy to listen to. So a lot of people recommended that. Now, the one book that people recommended more than any other, and tell me if you think this is not just a good title, but like an aggressive title, like a pointed title. Yeah.

The book you wish your parents had read, in brackets, and your children will be glad that you read this too, which is cute. I like that. Yeah? Yeah. But does that just hit you between, you just go, ooh. Yeah, don't have that out when your mum's over.

Well, that's what I mean. I was like, geez, that's a bit. You're right, very pointed. Yeah. You kind of look at that and you go, fuck, this seems aggressive. I'm going to read it. Yeah. The book you wish your parents had read.

It just seems like, and she's a great writer, but it seems like, are you okay, mate? Like, did you have some issues? Obviously something's gone on over there. Yeah, is everything all right? Have you read it? I've ordered it. Yeah.

But it hasn't made it yet. Just, well, maybe I didn't order it. I intended to order it. How much down the, I need to order it how much down the i need to order it receive it and read it yeah what your body language is telling you for it to count yeah i mean you could just buy that like ebook or something and then you get it straight away i don't know well i don't know how to read ebooks oh okay where how do you read it do you have an ipad or an iphone or i can't read on a phone. I think I like the.

Yeah, I like a proper book. So it got me thinking about like some pointed books that you might like. Oh. That are just really like a bit suggestive. Okay. Oh, okay. Not that kind of suggestive. You'll get what I'm getting at here.

So out of these three books, Tony Lodge, if I could buy you any of these three books, which would you choose? Okay. How to write a good and complete shopping list so you don't need to call your girlfriend while you're at the shops. Because my boyfriend, Torbs, famously calls me during... Oh, yeah. Hello? Yeah, hi.

I'm actually just in the shower. I told you I was going to get in the shower. Did you want spaghetti tonight? We were going to get spaghetti, weren't we? You said spaghetti? Yeah. So is that like pasta and it's like a meat sauce, right? Yeah, I wrote the list down on your phone.

But did you want the... Which brand of tomato paste did you want? Just the one we always get in the white tube. But which one's that? They're all in white tubes. It's, I don't know what the brand is. It's got a tomato on the front. It's a white tube.

Cool. I'll chat to you later. Thanks. Yep. All good. Okay. All right. Oh God, I got wet bloody hair.

Hello. Was it with beef or pork? Normally you get the mix of pork and beef. So I just get that. The one that you always get. Beef of pork and beef, so I just get that, the one that you always get. But did you prefer the beef, pork or beef? I love beef. I love beef.

That is a good one. Next book. Yep. How to always be 15 minutes early so you'll never be late and never make unnecessary anxiety for your colleagues. I don't even need to hear the third one, I feel. Well, I'll give you the third one anyway. The third one is how to stop falling off scooters and out of taxis

so you don't always have a permanently rolled ankle. And you might actually enjoy reading that yourself instead of passing it on as a gift. Well, could I buy that one for me but I'd buy the second one for you? Yeah, and we'll get the first one for Torbs and everyone's a better person for it. God, that author's done well out of us. Three from three.

Thanks for all your tips, though. I've got to get a lot to say. Awesome. Mexican food. Fuck, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Mexican food. Fuck yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you had fucking nachos last night, didn't you?

A new Mexican place has opened in Altham, in my hood. Oh, my God. And it's fucking good. Fuck yeah. It opened like a week ago, and I remember walking by. Oh, God, how many times have you eaten there? Well. About seven times?

It was an Italian place since before I was born. Oh, shit. And then I see this big sign. Oh, that's sad that that closed down. R.I.P. Oh. I think they might have moved. Altham's one of those towns where it's like,

oh, I think the Greek place is closed. No, that's where the Turkish place used to be. Oh, right. They're just doing the rounds. Yeah, and it's like, oh, the Chinese place has moved to where the fish and chip joint was. But the fish and chip shop, they're at the old burger place. Yeah.

So it's fucking confused. Every time I go down there it's like whiplash. But I saw this big sign around Christmas and it's like coming in the new year. New Mexican. And I was like, fucking righto. And they're rolling out the burritos, the tacos. But you mean like a proper Mexican place?

Not like GYG or something? You mean like a... Nah, but it's got a little bit of sort of Tex-Mex vibes. But it's still... Sure. Oh, I'd say not full Tex-Mex, but it's like... But it's not like a chain. It's like a...

Yeah, nah, it's good. It's good. Oh, fuck yeah. And I tell you what, and this is my you love to see it within a you love to see it. Ooh. You know how most places, pizza, fish and chips, burgers, you go to the fridge and it's like Coke, Sprite, orange juice, whatever. Or it might be a Pepsi family.

Oh, stay at home. The Mexican sodas? Jarritos. Yeah. The glass bottles. How good are they? A guava one of those fucked me right up. Okay, so I got a guava.

I saw the grapefruit and I was like, oh, I'll get a grapefruit as well. But then even just the Mexican cola. Torbs is a fan of the cola. And I was like, oh, I'll get a grapefruit as well. But then even just the Mexican cola. Torbs is a fan of the cola. And I was like, welcome to my town. Nah, I love that. I'll be seeing you three times a week for the next ten years because this is awesome. Fuck yeah.

That's my love to see. That is great. You'll love to see it. Oh, fuck. Jaritos. Those guava ones are fucked. If you've never had one, order one. The next time you get GYG, order one.

They are like $9, I think, on Uber Eats or something. You keep saying GYG. Guzmani Gomez. Oh, okay. So I'm not down with the lingo with the cool kids. So I would call that Guzmani Gomez. Oh, right. I mean, now that you've told me what it is, I get it.

But I just didn't know what that was. Oh, we always call it GYG. Really? Yeah. Yeah, that's because you guys are cool in your 20s. I am. I'm in my 20s. No. An older man. He's an older man. I am. I'm in my 20s. Nah.

An older man. He's older than me. I don't know how old he is, but he was born in 89. What does that mean? You can do the maths. Yeah, figure it out. Yeah, you're listening. At home.

What's 2023 minus 1989? Nice. My Love To See It is a message we got through on Patreon from Garrett Mutoff. If you've ever thought about joining the Patreon, it's actually, we read all the messages there. Live streams. I'm always in there replying to DMs. Tony's got a weekly blog. I do have a weekly blog.

Last week talking about my fuck yeah song for the year, my anthem of the year. The year? Yes. Yep. I've already found one. And it might have been the anthem of the year for quite some years for other people. It's a bit of an older track.

And this week was... You jumped on the bandwagon? Yep. And this week was talking about my favourite new recipe. Ooh, is it Mexican? No, it wasn't. Okay. But also delicious.

Anyway, Garrett Mutoff sent us this message saying, just wanted to wish you both and your families a very happy new year, which is lovely. Thank you, Garrett. Also, thank you for teaching me the phrase, that's a long walk for a short drink of water. You know how like when you fucking take a long time to get to something, I go, fuck, that's a long walk for a short drink of water.

Yeah. Pretty common phrase in Australia. Yeah, I guess. What else do we use? Is the juice worth the squeeze? We do say is the juice worth the squeeze. Yep. So a few things like that.

And he says, thank you for teaching me that phrase. At Christmas dinner, my mother-in-law was waffling on about some story that had a very dull ending. If only I had some phrase to rinse the shit out of her. So I said that and everyone immediately burst out laughing. You fucking get it, Garrett. Garrett goes on to say, can't wait to see what you

teach me in 2023. Fuck. Whilst everyone else laughed, did the mother in law fucking hate it? Well, he didn't say anything, so I'm guessing that she was a bit dirty about it. Yeah. But I just fucking love to see that he was just so proud of himself.

And I... Yeah, rinsing his fucking belly. That's what Christmas is all about. Um, can I teach Garrett something else now? Please. Um, and everyone really. Yeah. Uh, when you're saying something like that, start it first with a big,

oh, it just really fucking twists the knife once it's in. That is a bit of you, yeah. Oh, blah, blah, blah, and then this is what happens. It's a bit of a long walk for a short drink of water. Yeah, my favourite is, whew, that was a long walk. That's mine. That's what I do. So if anybody's interested in rolling that phrase out, you're welcome.

Copyright, trademark, Tony and Ryan, 2023. A Marty Sheargold classic. Yeah. Could give me a short boring story. Oh, and then I went to the shop so they didn't have any milk. What else is boring? Torb's favourite one is

tell me a boring story. And to get to the other side. And then I put my shorts on, found $5 and waited for the bus. I hear your shit story and I'll make it shit up. Yeah, he's like, okay, cool. Then the bus went past. Yeah. Awesome. I'll get you a nice one.

Great. Whose birthday is it? Josh. Anyway, I thought, I thought, I thought you'd fucking love to see that. Thanks Garrett for sharing that.

That's great. If there's one thing I've always said, it's this podcast is an education in the English language and how best to use it. I mean, we've just both talked about writing books, so you heard it here first.

A couple of authors giving you some hot tips about the English language. You're welcome. And if anyone would like to pre-order How to Write a Good and Complete Shopping List that you don't need to call your girlfriend for while you're at the shops, it's in our link. The link is in our show notes underneath pre-order Tony Lodge's book here. Yeah.

Click that link and I'm sure that you'll get something along those lines. Yeah, it'll be something pretty similar. You'll end up with something in Feb, I promise. All right. We'll see you tomorrow. Love you. Bye.