Toni and Ryan - Arts and Crafts To The Rescue

Episode Date: January 17, 2023

ARTS AND CRAFTS TO THE RESCCUUUUEEEEE!!! A tale of how the suits came to be! Love ya! Toni xoxox Come say hey and get a selfie with us in front of our HOT FUN GARBAGE TRUCK! Saturday 21st January 10am - 12, St Kilda Beach (look for our giant faces on a garbo truck) Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Plus you can find the links to pre-order Toni's book here! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the podcast. This is Jason. Jason. Good morning, you beautiful people. Luckily it was us, Jason. Yeah, it could have been anyone. What's going on, guys? Imagine if it was the phone company going, Jason, you haven't paid your bill or something. Something interesting to happen during the day for them, I guess. That's actually a great point. That would be a really nice way for someone to answer the phone if you were like a salesman or something.

Hello, you beautiful people. Thank you for the compliment. You owe us $10,000. We're actually not going to try and sell you anything now. Thanks for that. It's beautiful. Jason, will you approve the podcast? Absolutely. Yes. Thanks for saying we're's beautiful. Jason, will you approve the podcast? Absolutely.

Yes. Thanks for saying we're beautiful as well. We really needed that today. A little pick now. Hi, this is Jason New Jersey and I approve this podcast. All right, so this Saturday is our Hot Fun Garbage Truck. It is going to be at St Kilda Beach, Saturday morning, January 21. And on Patreon last week, we asked, should we get our uniforms professionally made

or should Tony have a craft-a-noon? And coming up later this episode, an update on the unit. Is that right? I'm calling this arts and crafts to the rescue question mark. My response is question mark. Let's just. Okay. Yeah.

All right. We'll get to that soon Yeah it's coming Okay but All I want to say though Up Up top Yeah

Is that when you said I'm doing I'll just craft it myself Yeah I go Okay I trust you You didn't seem confident

In fairness I said You're saying that you trust me But that wasn't the energy I got I trust you What your eyes said And what, but that wasn't the energy I got. I trust you. What your eyes said and what your mouth said were two different things. I said I trusted you.

Well, let's see if you were right or if you were wrong. All right. So a few nights ago, I roll over. Fuck, I've been thinking about this nonstop, yeah? My wife, Bridget, is staring at the roof, eyes wide open. Yeah. And I go, are you okay? Sorry, is this like?

2 a.m.? So you've been asleep and you've like stirred and then realised she was awake kind of thing. Yeah. So I'll glance over and see how she's doing. I always keep an ear out to be like, yep, he's breathed. Great. Apparently I don't breathe for very long times. Are you one of those?

Bridget freaks out and goes, you didn't breathe for like half an hour. I had a sleepover once as a kid, right, just like another one of my girlfriends, and she did this when she was asleep. That's fucking so annoying. But I think I might do a bit of that. For the whole night. But, like, so you're hearing the, like, cut of the breath every time and it just fucking made me want to tear my own hair out. Yeah.

Yep. So you're not doing that, are you? No, but sometimes in the morning, because Bridget wakes up really early and so it'll be light and she'll just, like, kind of bump me and goes, just breathe. And I go, what? She goes, oh, you just stop breathing. At least you know she wants you to breathe.

At least you don't wake up to her going, yes, yes, yes, yes. With a hand on each side of the pillow. Yeah. So I kind of went, oh, is everything okay? You're staring at the roof. And she goes, I haven't slept all night I didn't sleep all night last night I've I've done something you're not gonna like it and I totally understand that you're not gonna like it but I just want you to at least try and understand so immediately what's

going through your mind cheating like all of these things probably like run me through your thought process of that moment, like when she said that. Well, I think combined with being 85% asleep. Yeah. It was just like I went from 85% asleep to 100% awake. Yeah. And it was just like I couldn't even go through the possibilities.

I was just like, what? And you just kind of, you know, when you go like, I need to think right now. Yeah. It's like when there's a bit of an emergency if you've had a few beers. Yeah. And you kind of go, I need to slow down right now because I need to figure this out.

Yeah. So what was going through my head was, so I've just been laying next to someone who's wide awake for two nights. Which is pretty creepy. Yeah, that's when I was like, have you just been laying there? Yeah. Listen to me fart and not breathe kind of thing. Yeah, just taking notes and my breath.

So I was like, what? And so I said, okay, I'll, and then just what she said, I'm like, I promise I'll try to understand. That's nice of you. I mean, what are you going to- What else can you say? Do you promise not to tell? And you're like, no. You always say yes, then you tell people anyway.

Yeah. Well, you're allowed to legally tell your husband or wife or boyfriend or girlfriend. Really? I think so. Wasn't there a thing that you can't, like a perjury, like there's an actual rule? Was that an American thing? Yeah. So if you, say Bridget was on trial, legally you could not testify.

Yeah, because you could say like, nope, that's my husband or wife. Yeah, okay. So all these things are going through my mind. Anyway, yeah. And she goes, I've lost the engagement ring. Oh, my God. I don't know where I left it. I haven't seen it for ages.

I thought it was in this spot and that's why I hadn't seen it and then I looked in the spot a few days ago and it wasn't there and I was like, well, it's not there. Oh, my God. And my first reaction was like, so you didn't cheat. Yeah, 100%, 100%. She would just be feeling so guilty about that though because she's like, that's a gift you gave me.

We went and bought it together. It was like a big moment in our life. Totally. It was quite expensive. It means a lot, obviously. It represents our love for each other. I mean, there's an argument about that. All that other shit, yeah.

But it was like she doesn't know where it is. And it's been weeks since she's seen it and she's like, she goes, oh, I sort of had a look around. But you know when you're like scared to look because you're like, well, if I look in all the spots and it's not there, then I've really lost it. Yeah. So like during the day she kind of like went to all the regular spots

and just like, no, not there. Oh, maybe it's there. And she kind of did that and then kind of, I don't want to tell Ryan because I'm embarrassed. Because it's not lost, lost yet. Yeah. It might still only be a little bit lost. Maybe it'll turn up.

And so she said that and the cold sweat because I know how much she loved that ring because we got it like we had a friend who, she's like, I kind of like this aspect of that ring but that with that and they go, yeah, we'll make it for you. Which is just a special thing. Yeah, and I felt sick. I felt sick for her. I felt sick for us.

Wanting to find it. Wanting to find it. And I was like, oh, my God, where could it be? I haven't seen it for weeks either. Like we've moved here. And because we had so many people over for Christmas, there was a lot of just like boxes being thrown out. Yeah.

Because people are bringing food and containers and wrapping and boxes and stuff was just being put in bags. And then we're like, oh, throw all those bags. So like a lot of stuff was just cleared out. I'm like, fuck, was it in one of those bags we threw out? Fuck. So at this point, how long had it been since she- She hadn't seen it for weeks. Weeks?

Since before she went in the hospital hospital which was pre-christmas so she was in hospital for about a week um without it she's all good um she came back um you know christmas her fam was there new year's and then it wasn't until i think we were gonna go out you know put something nice on we're going out for a lunch with the fam because we didn't really leave the house that much um and she's like oh we're going out i'll get dressed up put my nice dress on i'll on, and then kind of went, oh, fuck, where is that? Oh, my God.

And that's when we started going, oh, well, if we left it on the bench during Christmas, that would have gone with that stuff. But if it made it to New Year's, maybe it was with that stuff. You know, so like it's. Oh, how stressful. Yeah. And so, like I said, I've gone from 80% awake to 100% awake.

Then I've started like cold sweating and I was like, okay, I can think of eight spots where it might be. So I'm going to fucking get up and I'm going to. At three in the morning. Your adrenaline's pumping. I've never been more awake in my life. Fuck. And I was like, okay, I think I've got a plan.

I'm going to do this, this, this, this, and then I'll go and check that. And if that's not right, I'll go into the garage and I'll open up all those bulb boxes and blah, blah, blah, blah. So I'm fucking up. I get a, you know, put some clothes on and I'm like, yep, I'm awake. I start putting all the lights on because I'm like, I'm looking for stuff. I can't just walk around in the dark in the middle of the night. Never been more awake in my life.

Bridget's like, oh, okay, I'll have a look as well. Then she walks over. She was awake anyway. Yeah. Well, she's like, yeah, okay, I'll have a look as well. Then she walks over. She was awake anyway. Yeah, she goes, well, she's like, yeah. Let's just fucking find it. So she walks over to her drawer, opens it and goes, oh, there it is. Ah!

Right in the top of her drawer. Like I was in a bag in the drawer. And she goes, oh, there it is. And then rolls over and falls asleep. All the lights are still on. The lights are on. And I repeat, I have never been more awake in my life. Your adrenaline's pumping.

My heart is racing. There's adrenaline squirting out of my eyeballs because it's just squirting around my body. And she goes, oh, there it is. Cool. Thank God for that. Anyway, good night. And was like, I'd sleep like this. Oh, yeah, well, yeah, it's good news.

Night, babe. You know, like, okay. Yeah. So then I went to the garage and turned the light off. Went to the lounge room, turned the light off. Went to the kitchen, turned the light off. Turned the light off in our room. Washed the bin juice off your hands from scraping through the bin.

Well, I didn't even get to that. Didn't even get to that. And then guess what I did? What? I laid in bed next to her with my eyes wide open and stared at the roof. The rest of them. Fuck. That is literally the first thing she opened.

She goes, I'll check this drawer. Oh, yeah, here it is. Thanks for getting up and looking, though. Yeah. Yep. She didn't go, oh, my God, how silly of me. Of course it was. She's already asleep by this.

Whatever your question is, she's already asleep. She'd already, yeah, she'd written it off. She's gone, oh, tick that box, see ya. Great, I haven't slept for two nights. I'm tired, see ya. I feel like, I don't know really what to feel. I feel like I just got so invested in that and now then it was over. You're telling me, mate.

Whatever you're feeling now. We went through the exact same range of emotions. And so it was almost like this relief but I almost didn't have enough time to get to the top of the mountain to – Yeah. Yeah. It's like you hadn't really processed it yet. Oh, my God.

Well, I mean, at least she found it. Yep. Oh, kind of. Kind of at least she found it. But you're right, it was very unsatisfying. Yeah. Because I was like, oh, if I look for half an hour and find it, there'll be this heroic moment.

Yeah. We'll fucking hug. Just that satisfaction. It'll be great. We've got it. Yep. Let me put the kettle on. Let's have a cup of tea and then we'll go back to bed.

Wow. That is just awful. Yeah, I still don't know how to feel about it. You know what you should do? What? Do the same thing to her. She knows I don't know where my ring is. Yeah.

See, that was the other thing that went through my mind. I was like, you never know where your ring is. I think I saw it the other day. I think you wore it on TV the other day. Did I? I saw you wearing it. Oh, maybe it's a Channel 7. Oh, Grant Denya's got it now.

Oh, fucking good luck getting anything off that guy. Oh, it's free stuff around. Grant will take it. Does he still work at 7? Couldn't tell you. Okay. Actually, I think he went to Channel 10 12 years ago. Yeah, okay.

Koshi's probably wearing it. Channel 7, I don't know. Hey, this is Jason from New Jersey, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. Alright, on Patreon, all of our exclusive tapas and champion tapas each week get a blog from the desk of Dr. Tony Lodge. You're welcome. Not a proper doctor, just flamed. Just don't, mate. 2003 is the year we get to say things.

What year? What did I say? 2003. What year is it? 2023. Fuck! Where's the time gone? I just woke up from a coma.

Oh, God. Last week on Tony's blog, a sorbet recipe. Oh, game changer. If Tony goes, I've got a recipe, I go, oh, yeah, cool. But if someone goes, I've got a sorbet recipe? Yeah. So that was last week's. And then this afternoon, three o'clock, a brand new one.

Yeah. You better believe it. Well, I do believe it. Sorry. That one is true. I'm not a doctor, but I wasn't lying about that. Okay. A few of the people that will read that, hopefully.

Saxon Ball, good on you. Zach Tyler, Kimberly Dickens, Roshwin Jones, and Hayley Hershey. Bloody good on you. Hayley Hershey. Yeah, Hayley Hershey. Hardly Hersha. I don't know. Hershey.

Hershey. Hershey. Yeah, Hayley Hershey. Hardly Hersha. I don't know. Hershey. Hershey. Hershey. Hopefully some of those people and a bunch of our tapas from the Patreon and from our Facebook group and just you listening, hopefully we'll see you down at the beach this weekend. Wow. January 21. I hope to be seeing you this weekend.

Oh, you'll be seeing me. And I hope to be seeing you in some sort of team Tony and Ryan outfit. Okay. Now, let me just quickly recap from also from Patreon. Last week, the Hot Fun Garbage costumes, should we get them ordered or should Craft Queen Tony Lodge make them on her cricket? The official vote, I think I'm going to have to vote to find out the answer, them ordered or should craft queen Tony Lodge make them on her cricket? The official vote, I think I'm going to have to vote to find out the answer, 95% said make them yourself, Tony.

5% of sensible people said maybe you should just order them online. Were you the only person that voted that? No, I just voted for make them yourself just then because to see that, you know, you have to vote. Oh, well, who put no? Well, a lot of people. That's nasty. 5% Tony. I don't like that. You know we talk about vote to. Well, who put no? Well, a lot of people. That's nasty. 5% tone.

I don't like that. You know we talk about focusing on the positive. Yeah, sorry. Yeah, that might be five, but we got 95. Yeah, okay. Yeah, but also I don't think they're saying like, you shit. I think they might be like, hey, just order a man. It's okay. You got to be busy.

Like, it's a supportive five. So. How are we looking? Now, I'm quite new to the world of cricket And so Very confident though So not only is this you know like Quite a high stakes first project

It's literally the first time I've ever done Like the heat transfer thing Right okay And so where they It's cutting out like a sticker thing So it cuts out the heat transfer sticker. Yeah. And then you use this thing called an easy press.

Yeah. I don't have one of those. Okay. So I use my iron. Yeah, old school. And yeah, you hold that down and it should transfer to the material. Okay. So great, you can do that in two days.

Well, yeah. And so you've done it? So I ordered the stuff spotlight and it took quite a long time to get here. Okay. Spotlight that place that's 10 minutes down the road. They didn't have it at any stores in Victoria. Okay. I had to order it.

It came from Maroochydore. Oh, hello. Sunshine State. Thanks for having us. Yeah. I stayed up order it. It came from Maroochydore. Oh, hello. Sunshine State. Thanks for having us. Yeah. I stayed up all night last night. What? Oh.

Because we have to wear these in two days. Did you lose your engagement ring? Looks like it. Sorry. Touchy subject. How'd you go? Well, I was up all night. I respect that.

Because we've got to wear them in two days yep i've got something to show you oh here is your costume for the hot fun garbage tour you stayed up all night stayed up all night waiting all night for okay it's quite long so you have to yeah unroll it It's quite long, so you have to, yeah, unroll it. First of all, that's a pretty fucking good job. Thank you.

That's a really good job. You've done great. You're making it sound like you haven't done well. No, well, I just wanted you to have a first. Second of all. Yeah. And this isn't anything to do with the cricket or your crafting skills. It has a lot to do with our logo design.

Yep. Remember early in the piece when we realised, and I should have thought of this, is that when it's a light colour printed on a dark background, I kind of look like Santa Claus. But it's yellow, it's not white. So I think it's okay. You know what I'm saying, mate?

Yeah. That's really good. Do you like it? Yeah. Do you like it? And yours is the same? So. Because the whole point is like we're matching, right? We're a team.

So yours is done. There's been a bit of struggle with mine. This looks good. Yeah. Have you got yours? Did you bring it? No, it's not here. Not fit for human consumption yet.

What happened? What went wrong? Well, it's not here. Not fit for human consumption yet. What happened? What went wrong? Well, I put the – I did yours. So I did a test one on a random old T-shirt of Torbz's. Not random anymore, collector's item. Yeah, I was like, you could sell that online. The first piece of merch we've ever created is like an old Kmart T-shirt of Torbz's.

So I printed that on yours and I thought, fuck, that looks awesome. I'm really proud of that. I'm really proud. For my first try, I'm really proud of it. That's great. And so then I thought I would do it on mine. Mine's a little bit different. Yours has got quite a heavy material.

It also has a seam down the front that I didn't take into consideration. So when I've tried to- Shock on the seam being on your face and not mine. When I tried to press it, I pressed it either side instead of just cutting the transfer and just having a bit more of a gap between our faces. So it was my fault. So it kind of pulled off and then everything online was like, it's very easy to get the residue off.

Torbs and I were up all night trying to scrape the residue off to like redo it. And he's up now doing it, trying to fucking fix it. Because we've got to wear them in two fucking days. If the residue doesn't come off, I've got to try and buy another jumpsuit that fits me in time to- Because you fucked the- Because I fucked mine. Yeah.

But yours is all good. Yeah, but no, no. It's going to happen. What do you know about Tony Lodge? She fucking always comes through. It's going to happen. I'm going to be wearing the outfit. It's going to happen. What do you know about Tony Lodge? She fucking always comes through. It's going to happen. I'm going to be wearing the outfit. It's going to be no fucking probos.

First of all, we don't use the word probos on this show. I do. In for 2023. Me saying probos. Now, this sounds like a beautiful, nice thing to say, but it's sort of not meant that way. Oh. We're a team.

Yeah. So when you go, oh, yours is fine, though. No. Oh, no. I. We're a team. Yeah. So when you go, oh, yours is fine though. No. Oh, no. I just mean yours is done. Yeah. I'm 50% of the way there. Do you know what I mean?

I'm not stressed. Aren't you? Everything's fine. You don't sound it. Because, and here's the thing, when you get yours done, and I know that you will. I will. And we're wearing them together, you'll be like,

look at those guys living their best life, wearing their boiler suits on their garbage truck. Yep. That looks like a lot of fun. Yeah. But if you don't get yours done. Yeah. You just look like a fuckhead wearing a boiler suit with your face on it.

Yeah. Totally. Yeah, no, I know. So for me it's a win-win. I either get to wear the jumpsuit or you look like a fuckhead. And I think that's pretty good. That's pretty good. No, it'll be all good.

Torbs, like I said, as we speak, is at home scraping residue off my jumpsuit and that is not a euphemism. He's scraping resin off a jumpsuit. What are you doing after this? I had a big night last night. I'm a bit of scraping resin off a jumpsuit. What are you doing after this? I had a big night last night. I'm a bit of scraping resin off a jumpsuit later today. Yeah, the missus moved the steps and now I've got to get the residue off my jumpsuit. Does Torb's employer listen to this podcast?

It's the weekend. Is it? Yeah. No, it's not. Because he spends a lot of time doing stuff. It's his lunch break at the moment. Of course. Yeah.

I mean, a podcast is not live. It could be any time. Exactly. How do you know what time we recorded this? Exactly. Don't lunch break at the moment. Of course. Yeah. I mean, a podcast is not live. It could be any time. Exactly. How do you know what time we recorded this? Exactly. Don't you at me? Yeah, thank you. I got to get a lot to say.

Great. Kat, who's a tapper. Now, her daughter used to, they worked at the same place. Mum and daughter at the same workplace. Oh, my God. That's adorable. Is it adorable? Is it like a bit much maybe?

Ah, oh, good call actually. I guess it depends what kind of relationship we have. It worked for them, but I think it's like danger zone because if it doesn't go right. Yeah. I think it's a bit like when husbands and wives or like partners work together. You really got to be sure. It could go one or the other way. Yeah.

So it was going really well. Great. Great. Until the daughter walked into the manager's office and was like, hey, bro, we're really under the pump. You're making us work extra to get it done. We have to work extra to get it done. Yeah.

I want you to pay more hours. If we're working overtime or you're forcing us to do 10 hours worth of work and cram it into eight hours and then have a go at us. No, I want more hours. Fair enough. And he goes, no, we're paying you the regular wage. I know it's busy. You know, if you're loyal, fucking all the bullshit, whatever.

What an asshole. Yep. And she goes, well, the competition down the road does the same thing as you, but they're offering more hours and a better rate and I get better health benefits. So if you're not going to do it, I'm going to go. Good on you. And she just fucking left.

Just like that. Fuck yeah. So Kay says, I'm sad that I won Good on you. And she just fucking left. Just like that. Fuck yeah. So Kay says, I'm sad that I won't see my daughter at work every day, but I'm so proud of her that she stood up and didn't take any shit. I've never been more proud of my daughter. I fucking love to see it. You do love to see that. That's amazing.

She did her research. She knew her worth. She knew her worth. And not many people do. No. That's really cool. And you know what? You just like cat- knew her worth. And not many people do. No. That's really cool. And you know what? You just like cat-shared that.

K. K. Beautiful. And what I will say is that it's actually very easy to say that you would. Oh, my God. Oh, you should just tell the boss. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

I know it's easy for you to say because you don't actually have to go and have that conversation. Or it's also easy to go, oh, well, down the road it's fucking paying more. I should just go down there. And someone goes, you should. And then you go, oh, what if I don't get a job? Oh, but what if? You know? But she actually did it.

Fuck, that's awesome. And you love to see that. Oh, good on you, Kay. Good on you, Kay's daughter. Yeah, well done. My love to see it is last week, well, the other week, I shared an Instagram page called Subway Hands. Yes.

For My Love Just There. I like that. And you liked it, but it wasn't your favourite thing that I've ever shared. Okay. No, and that's okay. Okay. But I've got a different Instagram, similar vein, that I think you'll like way more. Okay.

This Instagram. I feel like I did like Subway Hands. No, you did, but I've got one that you'll like even more. Great. This is called The Doggest, and it's pictures and stories of dogs in New York City. So it's like Humans of New York. It's like Subway Hands. 4.7 million followers. But it's little doggies in New York.

Oh, my God. Look at this adorable Daisy the Dash Hound. Isn't that the cutest fucking thing? She's a crazy Daisy. When she's chewing her bone and not really wanting to, she'll chuck it across the room. She'll also squeak her toy and howl at it. Crazy Daisy the Dozy.

And the guy that takes all the photos, he shared a reel the other day and it was, like like him in action and he has one of those phone cases with the tennis ball on top. Clever. So that the dogs like see it and get excited and I just thought that was so cute. So it's called The Doggest and literally just every single day they post...

Chevo the Afghan Hound. Look how fucking beautiful that dog is. I know. Like, so gorgeous, honestly. The podcast is over. I'm full-time just a fan of this page. Yeah, not even doing it. That's what I do from nine till five.

It's just look at pictures of these dogs. But so adorable. And I thought you'd love to see that because I love it when little dogs pop up on my feed. Yeah. Or any animals because you just go, oh, it's no bullshit. It's just a dog.

It is no bullshit. And they don't do bullshit. No. They just do sweet love. Yeah. Or any animals because you just go, oh, it's no bullshit. It's just a dog. It is no bullshit. Yeah. And they don't do bullshit. No. They just do sweet love. Yeah. And stares apparently. Yeah, and they love pet steps.

Yep. All right. We'll chat to you tomorrow and this Saturday. This Saturday. It's fucking on. See our costumes. You'll see at least one of our costumes. And do yourself a favour and fuck those clothes off you've been trying to fuck off for a while.

Yeah. Let us help you. All right. See you Saturday been trying to fuck off for a while. Yeah, let us help you. Yeah, all right. See you Saturday. Chat to you tomorrow. Love you, bye.