Toni and Ryan - At Starbucks and in the bedroom

Episode Date: November 14, 2022

Things you can say at Starbucks and also in the bedroom, and Ryan needs a favour. Would you say yes? Love you! xoxox Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Plus you can find the links to pre-order Toni's book here! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

For a limited time, switch to Shopify Point of Sale, and you could save up to 20% and improve your bottom line. We're so serious about savings, we've made this ad 20% shorter. That means you get 6 seconds back. Just enough time to visit shopify.com slash POS20. Now that's an efficient ad. Eligibility requirements apply. See shopify.com slash POS20 for details. Yeah, we have. Can't believe there's people in Australia. You know what I mean? That's shocking. It's a genuine surprise. Hello?

Hi, Kiara? Yes, hi. Hi, it's Tony Lodge. I don't know why I said my whole name. Tony and Ryan. Kiara, have we called you at a – are you at work or something? No, I've actually just woke up. Oh, sorry, Chiara.

Well, you can get snooze if you want. Chiara, it's 11 a.m. Yes, yes. No, I actually just had surgery yesterday. Oh, who's the asshole now? Oh, Chiara, are you okay? No, I'm so sorry. No, don't you apologise.

Is everything okay? Yeah, you're good. You all right? Oh, yeah, no, no. I'm great. I'm great. I'm good. I'm fine.

It was just a day surgery. I'm good. Is it quite like a big surgery or do they just do Kiara hole? You're a fucking idiot. Sorry, Kiara. I was just trying to make a pun, but I'm sorry to hear that. No, no. It was funny, Tony. Okay, thank you. Do you want me to? Yeah, you tell her. I was just trying to make a pun, but I'm sorry to hear that. No, no, it was funny, funny.

It was funny, Tony. Okay, thank you. Do you want me to? Yeah, you tell it. It was very funny. Kara, would you let me show that out? Fuck. Well, will you prove the podcast?

Absolutely. I will 100% approve the podcast, guys. Great. I'm glad someone's professional around here and can stick to the script and be on point and get to the point of this whole thing. Great. Hey, it's Sierra from the Gold Coast and I approve this podcast. I have a quick story about a couple of tarpers.

Oh. So, Tarper Chloe. Is this a nice story or a couple of tarpers. Oh. So, Tarper Chloe. Is this a nice story or a mean story? Nah. Because sometimes you get a bit angry with the tarpers. Yeah, nah. I'm for these two. The Tony and Ryan podcast listeners.

Tarper. Yeah, that's what tarp stands for. If you're new to the show. Yeah. People get fucked off when we say that because apparently people start at the start. We'll get ready for the hot fun garbage because it's coming and it's happening. So, Chloe works at Starbucks. Great.

In Australia? I don't know. Okay. Thanks for asking that. I would have preferred some localism here. Okay. Well, there's not many Starbuckses in Australia. No, there's like three in Melbourne.

I tapped the table like I'm right here. There were 88 when I was at uni. 88. Is that hyperbole or genuinely there were 88? And then the next day there was eight because they closed 80 of them because I was in a marketing class. And he's like, scrap the lecture. Let's talk about this.

Really? Yeah, because Starbucks come in and goes, hey, Australia, let us introduce you to coffee culture. And Australia went, hey, we love this. But you know what? Italy beat you by like 90 years. And especially Melbourne because I hate the word hipster. But like chains aren't a big thing.

No. People love the local coffee guy and they know their name. And it's a bit everything's its own thing. And chains of coffee was probably never going to fly. There's lots of independent roasters as well in Melbourne, like not just the shops but like they do their own beans and they, you know, like it's a whole thing. It's not just like, oh, we use the same beans that Maccas do.

So when Starbucks comes in and goes, well, this is how we do it and the beans are all from the same place and it's all the same and it didn't kind of work. And so that's why the marketing class was all about like they didn't actually do much research. They just went, oh, it worked in America. Americans and Australians are pretty much the same, so just roll it out.

And they didn't really have the research and they didn't really back it in. How sad though that 80 stores worth of people like got laid off overnight. Yeah, it was crazy. Fuck, that's awful. So I'm going to assume overseas. Okay, great. But Chloe works at Starbucks and this girl called Esme walks in and goes, I really like your tattoos.

Yeah. Is that a sexy thing to say? Yeah. If you were working somewhere and someone went, oof. They would never say it to me, but yes, that would be a hot thing to say. Esme and Chloe have been dating for two years after meeting at Starbucks. Oh, and they made it through the layoffs. Yeah.

Beautiful. They made it through the layoffs. Well done. But the story just gets better. How does that get better? We're doing a lot of dating advice here. If you want to meet someone, work at a Starbucks during the lunar eclipse, that's all I'll say.

And have sexy tattoos. Yeah, tattoos. Chloe's last name is Beverage. And I know she's probably copped these jokes her whole life. I know the whole time she walked at Starbucks, probably people went, Starbucks, Beverage. But it's fucking funny, Chloe. Do you reckon that maybe, as said like nice tattoos and ah,

I'd love a hot beverage? Wow. I think Esme rocked up hoping to get her mouth around a beverage and she succeeded. And she did. Well done. Kudos. So this week, things you can say at Starbucks and also when you're

feeling up, Esme. No, sorry. Things you can say at Starbucks and also in the bedroom. I feel like you should have told the story after. I can't get any hotter than that. Don't say stuff short, mate. Is that one of them? No.

Can I order an extra hot? That actually might not be enough. Could we go the next size up? You got any more in you? Or is that it? Well, there's actually a lot of cultural difference between Australia and the US. So this is actually a pretty normal size here in Australia.

Well, this is what I got here. Tony's holding up her 57-gallon black. Frank Green water bottle. Sometimes you need to wake up in the morning. Get you up in the morning. Thank you. Do you want a loyalty card? Well, I come here in the morning. Thank you. Do you want a loyalty card? Well, I come here all the time.

You come here often. Can I stamp your card? The 10th come is free. The 10th time you come is free. Well, you're a VIP. Yeah. Very important pussy. Sorry.

Sorry. I'm sorry. I important pussy. Sorry. Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It just happened before I could even think about it. Yep. Just all of a sudden it was happening. Sorry.

Where do I put the straw? You won't be drinking anything here, Sonny Jim. This is for when you order your drink, but you don't pick it up right away. So I'll be like the server person. Ryan! Ryan!

Ryan! Ryan! Ryan! Ryan? Ryan? I'm coming! Ryan! Ryan? Ryan? Ryan? I'm coming! Well, I'm already finished.

That's rare. I'm never finished. I thought that was really good. I was really proud. Fuck, sorry. There's foam everywhere. Is that one? Foam like the sea when there's been a bad storm.

Oh, busy. A lot of people in here today. How do you fit them all in? I know I could get this for half the price down the road, but I just love it here. You love the way I do it. Love how it tastes. Love what you do to it.

When I wake up in the morning, that's what I think of it. And the great thing about Starbucks is that you get it the same all around the world. Never any little surprises. You know what you're getting is the consistency. That's what you're paying for. Should we spice things up? I've got a pumpkin.

I don't know what that means. It just felt right. There's a joke somewhere about chains and I don't know what it is. You know what I mean? Yep. There's a joke about a chain. What is it? The drinks are okay, but there's nothing like being in a chain.

I don't know. There's something there. I'd love to hear what people can do with that. There's something there. There's a joke about a chain. I don't know. There's something there. I'd love to hear what people can do with that. There's something there. Something. There's a joke about a chain. Finish your own joke. Yes, it is.

Complete your adventure. Whoa. You can take an entire grande? That's a lot of liquid for a little spot. Brian. She takes my money. She can't even get my name right. for a little spot. Brian? She takes my money. She can't even get my name right. Have you, um...

Have you ever... Gone to Starbucks? Have you ever said the wrong name? No, but I'm not like a name caller. Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, that could be anyone. Yeah. And when you go on through them like that, it's easier to keep the name simple. Oh, babe. Honey. Oh, my gosh. This is for when it's really busy and, like,

the cashier is getting a little bit flustered. Everyone, I'm going to get you as quickly as I can, okay? I'm working as fast as I can. And I want everyone to come back. You'd be too stressed. I'd only come with Jared McQuag. How? You don't live near each other.

Jared McQuag's in Canada. He loves Starbucks though. Oh, but we've only got 88 here. Or there was 88. Oh, mocha, huh? Someone likes a bit of chocolate. Mocha? I hardly know her. Mocha?

Do you charge extra for the nut milk? Do they? Fuck, when's it coming? I don't have all day. I'm working as hard as I can. Yeah, you know when you just need one before you go to work? Yeah. Something to get you through the day.

Do you know the new drive-thru now? Don't. Something to get you through the day. Do you know the new drive-through now? Don't even need to get out of the car. Do that actually. Yeah. That's a good idea. Why don't more people do that? Oh, Maccas. Yeah.

I was like, why don't more people do that? After copying this, my shits today are going to be harrowing. Oh. After copying this, my shits today are going to be harrowing. You really are having coffee with Jared McQuake. Oh, fuck. You're serving. Yep. You just did a wink and an eyebrow raise at the same time. Was it hot and cool?

No, because the wink brings your eyebrow down, but the eyebrow raise takes it up, so it kind of counteracts each other. Am I still doing it? It looks like you can't see and you're having a conniption. Oh, Starbucks? More like five star fucks. Someone posted a meme about Starbucks and I'm going to try and read it. You're very good at explaining memes.

Well, I'm going to act it out and you're going to have to be a part of it. Okay, great. All right, so you're going to be playing the person that works at Starbucks. Yep. But you can't understand what I'm saying. Okay. So when I say this the first few times, you're going to be playing the person that works at Starbucks. Yep. But you can't understand what I'm saying. Okay. So when I say this the first few times, you're going to be like, what? What?

Yeah, okay. Ma'am, there's a large rat in the bathroom. What? A large rat. What? There's a venti rat in the bathroom. Oh, no. I understand now. Not a venti rat in the bathroom. Oh, no.

I understand now. Not a venti rat. That is really funny. That's real shit. I like that. I'm sorry. I like that. Oh, sorry. You don't have like a napkin or a towel because I've just got cream all over my hands.

Yeah. I'll get you something.'ve just got cream all over my hands. Yeah, I'll get you something. You just lay there and don't move. Yeah, I'm going to need you to mop me up. Sorry. Did you want an extra pump? Yeah, all right. It's worth the extra cash, isn't it?

A little squirt of vanilla. This is for when he accidentally puts it in your back bum, in front of your front bum. Whoa, oh, I didn't order this. You're saying it's for Tony, but I did not ask for it. Your back bum. Yeah, your back bum. I get it. Your back bum. Yeah. Your back bum. I get it.

A lot happened in one sentence there. Sorry. No. Never apologize. Hey, it's Sia from The Gold Coast and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. For a limited time, switch to Shopify point of sale, and you could save up to 20% and improve your bottom line.

We're so serious about savings, we've made this ad 20% shorter. That means you get six seconds back. Just enough time to visit Shopify.com slash POS20. Now that's an efficient ad. Eligibility requirements apply. See Shopify.com slash POS20 for details. Let's hear it for the Patreons. Let's give the Patreons a hand. Yeah.

What? A handjob. Caleb White, good on you. Mel Randall, thank you so much. Jacinta Johnstone, Elise Evans and Zoe. We're giving those Patreons a hand. Let's hear it for my baby. Okay, because we're doing Starbucks today,

we've doubled up on the coffee this morning. We have. We are up and about. Woo. Feeling frothy. Sorry. High tide. Tony Lodge. Yeah, that's me. High tide. Tony Lodge.

Yeah, that's me. Your mate. My best friend. Oh, what do you want? You are... Fuck off. A people pleaser at times? You're a yes person.

You aim to please. I don't mean that in a bad way either. Yeah, I don't want people to think that you mean people pleaser in like a desperate way. No, no, no. But you like to say yes. I like to make things easy for people. Absolutely. So if they say, oh, my God, like this thing's not working,

I go, oh, well, how can I help? Yeah. And I'm glad you said that, best friend, because I need a favour possibly. But the thing about you being a yes person and a people pleaser, this is actually a tricky favour because you're also like an organised person. Yep. You like to have a plan and you like to be in control. There's a few things going.

Like I don't know what you're about to ask me. Like everything in this podcast, it's not planned. I feel like I've got one thing that you are about to ask me and I don't want you to ask. Because you're a yes person and you don't want to say no? But let's hear it. You know how I've moved from the city to the hills? You already know, don't you?

Yeah, I do. I'm moving at the moment. Yeah. What a nightmare. Moving sucks. Letting in plumbers. I have to go back to the old place because the bond cleaners and then the new people who were like, so we were renting previously.

Oh, yep. And so there's like new renters that are like coming to have a look, so I need to like open up and whatever. That actually is one of the worst parts about moving because you're like, fuck, people are coming through the house. So the house you're moving out of has to like be semi-clean and tidy because there's people coming through. Yeah.

And so every day there's almost something I have to be at both houses at each day. Like, oh, there's a guy coming over to drop off the washing machine cable. Yeah. So you have to be there at one, but in the morning there's someone else at the other place that's coming to clean the carpets. Yeah. But he says he's coming at one, but the window is from one till six, so you have to sit there for six fucking hours.

He ends up getting there at 6.30 and you go, well, I haven't eaten anything all day. It's a fucking nightmare. so i'm busy going back and forth uh-huh and as you know yep i don't own a car yep you've just bought a beautiful new car and i'm not saying this to dish you or sway you in any way, but is it fair to say that you don't drive it that much? No, I guess I don't drive it that much. So would I?

But? Your best friend, Ryan. Well, you've never called me your best friend until right this second. I'm your bestest friend because everyone knows it. Would I be able to borrow your car? I fucking knew that this is what you were going to ask me because you're a fucking shit Carla Conti. What? And you can't be organised.

But. What do you mean I can't be organised? I don't have a car. This car, as you know, is my pride and joy. It feels like you want to say no, but I know that you hate to let people down, so I'm surprised in your behaviour. So as soon as you said I need a favour, I was like, you're going to ask me to borrow my fucking

car like i i knew straight away can read you like a book like the one i just wrote which you can pre-order i can read you like a book no actually i read your book i wrote a book so that's interesting um the thing is is that i have a car that i you I maybe don't use that often, but I can use whenever I want. Yeah. So I don't have to ask people to borrow my car. No. Also, this car, like I said, is my pride and joy.

Would you say it's your personality? No, it's definitely not my personality, but I love it and I worked really fucking hard to get it. Is it fair to say you dreamt about it for 10 years? Yep. Since you got a license at 18? Pretty much. Where had I?

18? I was 18, yeah. It was like the week before my 18th birthday. You don't lock anything. You literally like don't lock your house. But if they don't have the keys, I mean, I'll lock the car. No. I'll change my ways.

I can't ever be thinking, oh, has he locked it? Because you probably haven't. Has it got a button where I just press it or do I have to put the key in and twist it? Are you fucking asking me if my brand new Audi has central locking? Are you fucking kidding me? You fucking, there's no way. You can't respect the car.

You don't know anything about it. I'm considering purchasing my first smart TV. So don't get at me with like, oh, central locking. Oh, everyone's got it. You actually, that's quite cool. You actually just like brush your hand past the handle and it locks the car like you don't use the key like it's see i've never used keys and it turns out i don't need them anymore do you need to put them in the ignition or you just have

them on you in the car oh you've got to push that don't you fuck that must be nice it is nice so i don't need keys at all i this is not happening. I can't deal with this. The stress of just thinking about it. Also, you are fucking unruly with where you park as well. You never check signs. You go, oh, I'll just risk it. That'll be fine. There's parking out here that's only for an hour, and when you say, why don't you drive to work,

I say because it's only for an hour. You go, oh, she'll be right. That's not out anyone. Well, that is what you do. I'm not saying you're wrong Do you want a fucking favour on us? All I'm saying Is that if someone from the local council

Listens to our show And they go Oh well I know where we can pick up Some spare change every day Well it's not my problem Because I don't break the law I don't break the law I will park

Except for when we're here recording. Well, no, so no. Fine. And if, similar to a rental, if there is a fine on my watch, I will cover said fine. No. Also, when we drove to Sydney, you'll remember, you don't know how to use cruise control.

My car is quite fancy. I don't think that you'd't know how to use cruise control. My car is quite fancy. I don't think that you'd actually be able to use it. I'm actually not even being a dick. It is, like, quite confusing. How often do you use cruise control, like, in town? All the time because my car, it has, like, adaptive cruise control. So you set it and it, it like speeds up and brakes for you. And like if you're veering too close to the lane,

it will like correct your driving and stuff. I'm actually not being a dick when I say that's fucking impressive. It's very cool. Yeah. So do you even have to drive it or do you just sit in it? Not really. Like you actually don't have to do very much. And that's why I don't trust you.

If I had my Yaris, mate, go for it. And actually you borrowed my Yaris. So you know that it's not because I – well, actually your wife borrowed it. My wife did, yeah. So that's a bit different. Yeah. I feel like – what if she asked you to borrow the Audi? I think I would still say no.

Okay. How long have I had this car for? Two months. Like just two months. It's brand new. It is brand new. Any scratches on it yet? No, not a fucking sliver of a speck.

Also, like what if Pippa needs to go somewhere? I can't not have a car. My daughter needs to get around in style if she needs to. First of all, that's a noxious sentence to say, but you tell me the exact time you need the car and it'll be delivered on time. You're not even on time to work when you have

advance notice. What's this aggression? You're not even on time to work when you have advance notice. What if I call you and I go Pippa needs to go to the vet and you go, oh, cool. Yeah, well, I'll be at yours at like in an hour and a half. I need. I need it now. That's why I bought a car. You know what?

But I don't want to say no. So I'm really torn. Well, all I know is, is that in the past, if I've asked a best friend to borrow something they're not using, that would just go, yeah, sure. And if a best friend asked me for something, I would go, yeah, of course, man. That is really good point. Ask a different best friend with a car.

Okay. This isn't, okay. You for a year now have said, like you've been like trying to like squeeze the words best friend out of me. True or false? I just thought that that would come a little sooner. True or false? I guess true if we have to pick one or the other.

It's not black and white like that, but yeah, I guess it would be. If I can borrow your car for 32 hours, I will officially name you not a best friend to you, but the best friend. You know what? I actually don't negotiate with terrorists. Or emotional terrorists. Emotional blackmail. Which is what you're doing. As soon as that came out of my mouth, this feels really aggressive.

This is really yuck. This is how bad shit starts. Okay. All right. I've got a solution. Thank you for lending me the car. No, you can't borrow my car. What if I pay for a higher car?

You're right. What about that? What if I, because my car, right? How much are you willing to spend to not let me drive your car? I will fly you from the city in first class to the suburbs in a private jet. I'll get you a helicopter. But you do not get in the front seat of my car. I just, I'm really, Torb's right.

Hey, don't fucking say he doesn't drive it. He doesn't have a license. Torb's hasn't driven it. And he's the love of my life. He doesn't have a license. That's a moot point. Even if he had his fucking license. Even if he had his fucking license.

Really? Why? I'm like not being – this is like – I'm sure that in a couple of months I won't be as protective. So, you know, like one of my best friends in the world, Jag and Lane, who I just saw in New Zealand, Jag said, oh, love the car, so excited for you. Oh, I'll have to come to Melbourne and take it for a drive.

And I went. How'd that go down? I was like, you're welcome to come to Melbourne. And I was like, no. One of our bosses at Spotify, they said, oh, when we come down to Melbourne, I'd love to take it for a drive. Didn't she? She said that when we were together.

And what did you say? No one's driving my fucking car. I don't know how difficult it is for people to understand. I'm sorry and I were together. And what did you say? No one's driving my fucking car. I don't know how difficult it is for people to understand. I'm sorry and I love you, but no. Do I sound like an asshole? I'll pay for a hire car. No, I don't want your pity cash. No, I feel really bad.

I don't want your pity cash. No, no, no. I'll pay for a hire car. No, that's ridiculous. What if I just buy you a little shit car? How rich are you? This is ridiculous. Stop throwing money at easy problems.

But I threw money at the car. Okay, gotcha. And so I just. You're throwing money to save money. Because I feel bad because I know that this is a genuine question and it would really help you out, but I just don't. This is a tricky week with the in-between stuff. No, it's okay.

No. Just give me a second. I'm allowed to ask and you're allowed to say no. And that's like. Oh, fucking rewind to 35 seconds ago when you go, you'll be my best friend if you let me take it. But this is in general because sometimes people ask for like, like in the business world, you know, people expect shit customers,

blah, blah, blah. And I actually said the line many times. People are allowed to ask for whatever, like in the business world, you know, people expect shit customers, blah, blah. And I actually said the line many times. People are allowed to ask for whatever they want and you're allowed to say no. So I've asked the question, which, you know, I'm not entitled to your car. I haven't assumed your car, but I will ask. And actually I say that a lot, don't I? I just ask them. Yeah, you do say that. But I just feel bad saying no because I –

Cool, cool, cool. But remember when I said to you, what if I go and wait at the house? What do you mean? Because you're saying you need to get back on the – what if I waited at the house? You don't want to do that. What if I drove you? You would rather drive all the way out there to pick me up

and drive me all the way back in. Because I get to drive my car. What if I pay for the Ubers? No, that's just ridiculous. What if I, see, I'm willing to help. I'll do anything else. You just can't have my car. Because I love it more than maybe Torbs.

You know what? That admission is worth not having the car. Not Pippa, but maybe Torbs. I'll be moving house, carrying some bags on the bus, so I'll see you all on the 5.81. Mate, you took your cum in an Uber, okay? You're fine. Remember when you had to take it?

Yeah, I just wasn't expecting you to say that. It just shocked me a little bit. But trust me, as shocked as I am now, it wasn't as more shocked as the Uber driver on the way to the sperm bank that day. Who went, where am I dropping you off? Go to the sperm bank. Don't you know we need to? Don't look in my jacket pocket.

Thanks for reminding me of a fucking awful day. Maybe I should just get a car. I would say so. It's pretty great. It sounds pretty expensive. Mate, insurance premiums are up. Cost of living crisis. Inflation.

You would not buy insurance. Don't make me laugh. Fuck you. You would get insurance. I tried to not get insurance for the house, but then the bank's like, You need it. If we're not giving you a mortgage, it's not insured. And I was like, no, I'll twist my arm.

And they said, you'll be our best friend. And I was like, no, I'll twist my arm. And they said, you'll be our best friend. And I was like, fine, emotionally blackmailing. Okay. Well, I feel really bad. Well, you should. What were you expecting me to say? You knew I'd say no, surely. I was expecting you to want to say no, but for you to crumble

because you're a people pleaser. Again, not in a bad way, but you're a yes man. Do you want to? I'm strangely proud of you for a yes man. I... Do you want to... Oh. I'm strangely proud of you for holding your ground, which annoys me. Why don't you take my scooter? That's fucking offensive. Don't rub it in that mine was stolen.

Why don't you take my scooter? That's the real issue. I was a victim of crime. A theft occurred of my e-scooter. You were lucky that it took that long for someone to steal it. You were leaving it all... See, what? Do you think I'm going to fucking give you my beautiful brand new car when you fucking leave your scooter ifs, buts and wheres and wherever you want.

That's what I'm saying. I just said that. As if you think that you can be trusted with a beautiful car. Oh, no. I've had it. Fucking sorry. What do you really think next time, mate? A simple no would have been fine.

I'm really proud of myself for saying no. I've had it. Fucking sorry. What do you really think next time, mate? A simple no would have been fine. I'm really proud of myself for saying no. I strangely am too. Nah, I'll get you an Uber. I'll pay for the Uber. All right, well, while I look up the bus timetable, have you got a You Love To See It? I know that I just said that I love my car more than Torbz. How do you feel about that?

My You Love To See It actually is Torbz. What? No, like it's a specific story, not just Torbz in general. Okay, and My You Love To See It is my partner. It's Torbz, yeah. What have you got? No. So at the moment I'm having a really, really hard time with my skin.

So I get really bad psoriasis. Yeah. And I actually never had it before I moved to Melbourne. I was going to say, we have whinged about this before. Is it connected to the allergies and the hay fever and the pollen in the air and shit? So I've seen a few dermatologists because I'm like, how do I fix it?

So I get it on my hands and my arms all over my legs. And it's not just about it looking bad. It really hurts. Is it itchy? Sometimes it's itchy, but mostly it aches because psoriasis is like an autoimmune thing. It's linked to rheumatoid arthritis. What's that word?

Rheumatoid? Rheumatoid arthritis. So it's linked to arthritis because so often if you have one, you kind of get the other. So it makes your joints a bit sore and stuff like that. Anyway, but at the moment, I'm having a really rough time with my skin. It's spring. Like it's just a bad time for it. And it's cold, kind of dry air.

And the other day I was kind of sucking at home and it really gets me down because it's ugly. Like I don't like it. And Torbs went to do the food shopping and I was kind of sitting at home with Pip and he came back, like it took him ages, and he came back with like all the food shopping and like an Enviro bag full of stuff for me to try. So he'd done all of this research online, read all these threads on Reddit and then took all of that stuff, like of people being like,

I've tried this, it worked, I tried this, it didn't work, whatever. He really is a sweetheart, isn't he? And then he went to the chemist and spoke to the pharmacist and was like, I've tried this, it worked, I tried this, it didn't work, whatever. He really is a sweetheart, isn't he? And then he went to the chemist and spoke to the pharmacist and was like, I've seen these 12 things, what five can you recommend? Yep. And did this big chat with him and, like, came home with this massive bag full of stuff. Did you cry?

I was just like, that is really, really sweet. And then he ran me a bath with, like, the soothing stuff in it so that I could have a bath and then he helped me, like, put all my creams on. And is any, like, any luck so far? Well, don't you think that my hands look a bit less, like, angry? They do. And I can actually, like, move my fingers now. Yeah, because it was very...

This sounds really stupid, but, like, I couldn't move my fingers and I was getting, like, massive deep cracks all through my knuckles and I, like, couldn't use my hands. No, they actually, now that you mention it, that looks a lot better. But, yeah, so I think it's just nothing cures it. You can only kind of keep it at bay and then if you have a bit of an outbreak then it gets really bad and then you can kind of bring it back, whatever.

It'll never be gone, maybe unless I moved away. But it was just really, really sweet and I felt very loved because it was like a really lovely love language thing of him going to all that effort and doing that and I love to say that. So would he be a... Acts of service. Yeah.

I'll do something for you. 100%. That is very nice. Yeah, he likes doing things that, again, like me lending you my car, he likes making things easier for me. So similar to me. What's your love language? Paying for Ubers.

Yeah, I can do anything if it's just paying for something. My love language is doing the least amount of stuff for you possible. My love language is fixing problems with what little money I have. You're going to be one of those stories where it's like, you know you hear about those professional footballers that bought all of their cousins a fucking whatever and then they finish playing football and they're like, oh, where's all my money?

You know how every cousin has a new car? Yeah. No, I'm not going to do that. Don't have any cousins, no. Don't have any cousins. My love to see it is from Ryan Fielder, who is from Canada. Yeah, I've spoken to Ryan Fielder and seen Ryan's name pop up and stuff. Yep.

So when he was just 12 years old, they were at Lake Louise in Canada. And I'm looking at Lake Louise now and it looks beautiful, especially in like the snow and like you see the blue and the white and the snow in the background, just like a beautiful spot. And he said to his mum when he was 12, when I'm older, I'm going to get married here. And my mum goes, oh, no, you won't. You know, you can't do that, blah, blah, blah.

And when a 12-year-old says that, it's like, 12-year-olds say a bunch of shit, I'm sure. They do. Well, my partner and I, we've done lots of events and lots of weddings for their work. Oh. And so they're like, you know, I'm guessing when you do lots of other people's weddings, you might be a bit like,

I don't know if I can be fucking doing my own. It just feels like more work to me. Yeah, it's like if you're a chef, you don't want to come home and cook dinner. Exactly. Or if you're a gynaecologist, you don't want to come home. I think you are. Is that what you were?

Fuck, another vagina. Me dealing with it. That's what I think when I get home. I think, oh, another cunt after dealing with you all day. Me dealing with cunts all day. I'm going to get home and fucking deal with it. Quite funny from me. Oh, jeez.

Yeah, you still can't borrow my car. Yeah, keep going. So instead, Ryan and his partner last month went to a registry, signed some papers, and then Ryan's husband and he went to Lake Louise in Canada and all dressed up and got some beautiful wedding photos taken there. So when he's 12 years old, he said, we're going to have a special day here when I'm older. And now he and his husband had their special day some 20, 30 years later.

Just like they said. Oh, wow. And because I know I said a lot of wild shit when I was younger. Yeah, definitely. But to actually fucking do it. That's amazing. Yeah. That is really fucking cool.

And do you want to see a photo of this? Yeah, please. And just have a look at, I mean. Oh, my God. Yeah. That is really fucking cool. And do you want to see a photo of this? Yeah, please. And just have a look at, I mean. Oh my God. Yeah, how beautiful is it? Look at that blue water. I was talking about Ryan's husband. Oh my God.

That is such a gorgeous photo. Where was that? Lake Louise in Canada? Yeah. Fuck, that's so stunning. Yeah, it's beautiful. And don't they look fucking happy? Oh, I mean, wouldn't you?

Well, there's multiple reasons they're happy. One, they's beautiful. And don't they look fucking happy? Oh, I mean wouldn't ya? Well, there's two reasons multiple reasons they're happy. One, they've just got married, congratulations. Two, they're in a beautiful spot. But isn't there something nice about fucking proving your parents wrong? Oh, yeah. I mean, who's the real hero here? 100%. My parents said I wasn't going to do it? Wow. I fucking showed you. Yeah, she's

not there. See ya, mum. We're going up to Lake Louise. You're not fucking coming. You're not there. See you, Mum. We're going up to Lake Louise. You're not fucking coming. You're not invited. See you. Lake Tony Louise Lodge. What a beautiful spot. I love Lake Tony Louise Lodge.

Yeah, and it loves you. Can we go there when we're in America? I know that it's Canada, but can we shoop up and go to Lake Louise? Let me look where it is. The only reason I say that is because I feel like every time we speak to an approver, we go, oh, we'll come to your town and we now need to go to about 4,000 towns when we're in America. Yeah, that's true. Alright, Lake Louise. I'll tell you what's a great podcast idea.

Someone just looking at stuff on Google Maps and then trying to explain what they're looking at. For example, how good is this? Okay, it's actually just out of Calgary. Oh, we spoke to someone from Calgary yesterday. Yeah. Past Banniff. Oh, it's up in the hills. Banff?

What's it called? Banff. Oh, we love to come to Banff. I'm like Louie, see? Near Mount Temple. Banff. Yeah, it's in Banff. Banff.

Banff. It's in Banff. It's in Banff. Banff. You know when you're allergic to something and you eat it and then you get banaphylactic shock? You go into banaphylaxis. There's a place called Mount Arsebone.

I wonder if Ryan and his husband went there on their own. I think that they... They fucking did. Got to go through there to get to Louise. I've always said that. All right. Are we done for the day? Yeah

I've gotta go home and drink some cold water And catch a bus Yeah Well if I make it in tomorrow I'll chat to you guys then What are you up to today? Just gonna Drive your fucking car

Yeah it must be nice No I'll actually probably just look at it in the garage Just look at it not going anywhere God it's a good life garage. Just look at it not going anywhere. God, it's a good life. That's so annoying. Alright, well I'm out of here. See ya.

Love you, bye.