Toni and Ryan - At the airport and in the bedroom

Episode Date: October 31, 2022

We're headed to the AIRPORT! And has hype man Ryan done it AGAIN?! Love you! Toni xo Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi, welcome to the podcast. Tony and Ryan here. We're just gas bagging. We're calling Lily, by the way, who's from the Gold Coast. Hello? Lily! Oh my God! It's Tony and Ryan.

How are you? Hi, I'm good. How are you? We're well. Where have we caught you, Lily? What if we interrupt it? Um, not much. We're currently down in Melbourne, actually, for my birthday.

Oh, is it your birthday today? Yesterday. Oh, happy birthday for yesterday. Where are you staying? South Yarra. Oh, not far from us. Fancy. And we've obviously turned on the weather for you.

Yeah, far from us. Oh, yeah, it's beautiful. Beautiful, beautiful. And are you heading out if you're in South Yarra? Yeah, like what hot dinner have you done or like? Yeah, Chapel Street. Actually, I do have a bone to pick. We went to Baby Pizza.

It's shit, Annie. Because it's the best pizza I've ever had in my entire life. Thank you. I'm never going to be able to stop thinking about it. And so as soon as you said I've got a bone to pick, Tony was like, oh, I told you so, because I always bang on how good it is, and then Tony hates it. Well, Lily, thank you for confirming that my recommendations are the best.

You're welcome. I refuse to believe that that is the case. What a great day. Thank you so much for confirming that, Lily. Appreciate it. Does it great? Does it great? Does it great?

Do you approve of the podcast? I mean, I guess I can. What a rollercoaster. That was a rollercoaster. Hey, it's Lily from the Gold Coast and I approve this podcast. Welcome to the Tony and Hype Man Ryan podcast. Yeah. I've got something for Tony coming up.

I have not stopped thinking about this. Yep. I'm really excited. You should be. It's an opportunity of a lifetime of something you already know and love. Cheese. Cheese. Yeah. Big cheese.

Big cheese. As I was sending an email through. That's coming up soon. Oh, my God. So if you, with Tony, want to be surprised and delighted, prepare yourself. So will other people enjoy this as well? They'll enjoy the finished product. Oh, my God.

What is it? But first, this is things you can say in the airport, because we've just been travelling around a little bit. They'll enjoy the finished product. Oh, my God. What is it? But first, this is things you can say in the airport, because we've just been travelling around a little bit, and also in the bedroom. Fuck, everything costs more here, eh? Yeah, it's fucking criminal. Oh, my God, $19 for a croissant, fuck off.

Which gate am I going through? So many to choose from. Sorry. I don't think you needed to act that out. I appreciate it, though. I reckon we'll catch something here. Too soon. I caught COVID at an airport.

Too soon, mate. I meant a flight. Like, we'll catch a flight. Oh. Or an STD. Yeah. Yep. Yep. Tony, can you please be careful when handling my bags?

Oh! Fragile. Travel light. Just a sec. Could you show me your pee-pee? Passport. Oh, sorry. Of course.

Of course. This one's actually very real and quite frustrating because I've travelled with you. Oh. If you go with Tony, she'll make you come early. What can I say? I prefer to get there right on time. But at least when you come with me, it's always at the same time.

Yeah. We always come together. It's nice to come together. Yeah. It's a nice time. Yeah. I always lock this, not so that people can't take anything out, but so that they can't put anything in.

You know when you wrap it in plastic at the front of the airport? Yeah. Yeah, that's important. Protect it. Don't be a fool, wrap your tool. I still just don't understand how something so big and so heavy can lift so easily. Your penis.

But seriously, are you ever on a plane just being like, how the fuck are we in the sky? Yes. It's a hunk of metal. They don't really know how it works, right? No, no one does. Like, mystery. Yeah. Air crash investigation.

Yeah. I hope we're stopping for fuel before we get going again. I need one of those $19 croissants. If you paid in advance, they'd have the food ready for you. Ladies and gentlemen, there will be a five-minute delay. Charisse is clearing the cabin before you enter. What's in there? Cleaning the cabin.

Clearing the cabin. I've never had to do that before. I need to be honest with you. I do have a concealed weapon. How are you travelling with any dangerous girls? Oh, no, there must be something wrong with my booking. I said PJ. To be honest, even if they thought that,

there'd still be something wrong with the booking because I obviously can't get a private jet. Sorry, sir. That package is too heavy. We can't handle it at the top, so we'll have to shove it in behind. Oh! Oh! Is there any way that maybe it could ride up front in the cockpit?

I can ask. You have to ask first. Yeah, it's fine. You can't just put it in people's cockpit. Oh, I'm such a starfish, and it's lucky because this is all duty free. Do I need a visa to enter? We prefer MasterCard. So when I was a kid, I literally thought.

It took me so long to figure that out. It took me a decade to figure that out. Literally, I was like, so you have to travel with a credit card. Yeah. Why can't you take MasterCard? And do you know the other thing that I always thought as well? I was like, why does it cost more to fly home? Because you know how it would be like one way or return?

Yeah. And return would always be more expensive, but return is like both flights. Oh, but you thought the return flight. So I thought it was like getting there is $1,000, but return is two. And I was like, oh, my God. What a ripoff. That's awful.

Yeah, but it's that return flight is both. Fucking hell. Once we didn't have visas to go to Bali, because if you're there for less than three weeks or whatever, you don't need one. Yeah, yeah. And I remember the line is really long because if you've got a visa, you just walk through.

Yeah. And we're in this long line and I was like, Mum, you've got a visa. Yeah, flash your card, Mum. Yeah. Flash the plastic, man. Get it out there. Oh, no.

It's a bunch of lads on a footy trip. Their balls are everywhere. Yeah, yeah. They're loud. It's a bunch of lads on a footy trip. Their balls are everywhere. Yeah, they're loud. It's stinky. Yeah, one in all in attitude. Oh, they're ordering beers while we're going. Yeah, yeah, I'll grab a Pilsner. Yeah.

Mate, get another one for my buddy as well. Did you want anything? Hello there. My name's Tony and I'll be servicing you through this flight. And I look forward to that immensely. I did pay extra to be getting serviced by you. Do you have a frequent flyer or are you interested in joining the Mile High Club? Frequent flyer, barely know her.

Have you ever joined the Mile High Club? No. No fucking way. It's not practical. It's not. Have you? No. Oh, well, you fingered that girl on the plane.

Oh, I shouldn't have fucking mentioned it. Did you see all the comments? Yeah. Yeah, I did. Because when you fingered that girl on the plane, do you think that that is included in the Mile High Club or plane? Oh, I shouldn't have fucking mentioned it. Did you see all the comments about it? Yeah, I did. Because when you fingered that girl on the plane, do you think that that is included in the Mile High Club or no? Well, I didn't, but even if I did. You did finger that girl on the plane, no?

No, but I still wouldn't think that counts. We know that you did. So let's just assume that you did. Are we going to have to get her on the show to confirm? That'd be an awkward conversation. How have you been for the last 15 years? Quick question. Please confirm that I did not finger you.

And she's like, yeah, you did. Have you ever been a hard sex on a plane? No. No. I just can't. Are you lying? No. Like, just the practicalities.

Yeah. I would love to because it just sounds like hot and fun. I'd love to say I did. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But no. Absolutely not. Yeah.

Hang on a second. Is that a groundhog made out of Lego? Oh, my God, I thought you were going to say, hang on a second, yes, I have had sex on the ground. Sorry. Because you're like, hang on. Oh, sorry, I'm so good at acting. I've really soldered in and ruined one of the great moments

of podcast history. I'm so sorry. I do love the air. There's a long line of people to board her. Well, when you want to board this bird, I mean. Oh. Any chance of an upgrade? I've had that before.

It's small. You know when you just want to upgrade to something bigger? Yeah, a bit more space. Yeah. A bit more to sit on. Yeah. Better food. I always enjoy a drink in the lounge before the ride.

It's nice to break the ice. And booze is free. Do we still have to get tested before we board? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Better safe than sorry. You're right.

It is. Yeah. Don't want to catch anything. Once you get up, it's fine. It's all the messing around beforehand that's really tedious. Yeah, ladies and gentlemen, it is going to be a bumpy ride. Turbulence! Turbulence!

Oh, should have worn a sports bra. If you pay a bit extra, you can sit up the front and have a champagne before we pop off. I like to sit up the front. Sounds lovely. My mum always used to get really dressed up before she got up. So now I like to do the same. Yeah, like mother like daughter.

Yeah. Get dressed up before we come to the airport. Yep. Fuck, you brought all that for one night? You don't think you're staying, do you? Are you fucking serious? I can't come with batteries. I'm late.

Oh, shit. Before you come in, you're going to need to take your belt off. Hey, it's Lily from Gold Coast, Australia, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive thank you to a few of our Jump Beyond Duppers over at our Patreon. Ebony Jordan, thank you so much. Annika Panika. Annika Panika. Yeah.

I don't know if that is Annika's passport name. Hang on, is that the same Ebony that was trolling me in the group? I don't know. Ebony Jordan. Because I've started getting a bit more, when I do a post about the inner bedroom. Yeah. And so I posted like a really sexy airport shot. Oh.

And I said, don't ask where I found this photo. Right. And then Ebony says, oh, Ryan, where'd you find that photo? Yeah. I was quite fucking specific, Ebony, but I wanted to ask about it. Oh, right. Well, sorry if that is you, Ebony, that Ryan's just cussed you out on it. What was Ebony's last name? Jordan.

Different, different Ebony. Apologise to Ebony Jordan. You keep going and I'll find out. Annika Panika, thank you so much. Minyok Lee, Ken Miller, Shannon Dollard, thank you so much. Charlie Peace, Alexandra Brain, Jules, Daniel, Tony Wojcik and Sean Marie Turner. Thank you so much for being part of the podcast.

My mum's calling. Should we talk to her on the show? Hey, mum, you part of the podcast. My mum's calling. She talks to her on the show. Hey, mum, you're on the podcast. Oh, really? Hello, everyone. Is there something we can help you with right now? Tony's here, by the way. Hi, Mandy.

Oh, hi, Tony. BJ's missing. I'm sorry. Kenny's missing BJ. How is Kenny going, Mandy? Do you love having the pup around? Most of the time, yeah. It's been interesting having the Kelpie and the puppy.

I bet. So now that BJ is back with Bridget and I, and thanks for looking after him, by the way, would you say that Kenny's more relaxed or is he sad? How about you? Are you more relaxed or are you more sad? Where are you at? No, I loved having BJ.

Don't get me wrong there. It was just I had to be on guard a lot more than I was relaxed. She was dual dogging. Yeah, you were double parked, Mandy, on the dog front. I was in the middle, entertaining both, making sure he wasn't annoying him too much. Look, when we started playing together, they were really wasn't annoying him too much. And they got to – look, they started playing together. They were really good by the end.

Bless. They were playing very happily. Everyone, it was a different Ebony. It was Ebony Jackson. Okay. So, Mum, can you just say Ebony Jackson? No. Ebony Jackson, no.

Thank you. Thank you. All right, we'll chat soon, Mum. Love you. See you. Bye. Bye, Mandy. So, Mum took care, we'll chat soon, Mum. Love you. See you. Bye. Bye, Mandy. So Mum took care of the dogs while we were away.

Anything else that you wanted to, any other personal business that you wanted to cover off with your mum or with me? Well, actually, I do have something, but it's not for me. It's for you. Oh, I'm sweaty. I've got you a significant opportunity. Okay. And something that you will remember forever and we'll all enjoy.

Fuck. Okay. Oh, my God. I'm actually, like, starting to get really sweaty and, like, you know, when you feel a bit nervous and you need to do, like, a nervous wee? That's my constant state. You know this. Yeah.

Sorry. Forgive me. Of course you know what that's like. Oh, sorry. You can hear me typing in the number. Sorry. I'm so fucking nervous. I'm actually, like, feeling puffed.

I haven't walked up any stairs. I'm just literally puffed. All right. Here we go. Now, I think you know this person. Hello. Hello. Is that Tar for Josh?

It is. Is this Josh? It is. Is this Ryan? It is Ryan and I'm here with Tony. Hi, Tarpa Josh. Now, Tony, you know Josh because Josh sent us a message the other day because Josh works for Architectural Digest in the video team. Oh, my God. Hi, Josh.

Hi, Tony. Oh, my God. Hi, Josh. Hi, Tony. Oh, my God. So. Let me read the message that Josh sent us. Because we love the open door videos. We've talked about them all the time. Oh, my God. We frothed Emma Chamberlain.

We frothed Hilary Duff. All those videos. Travis Barker. Travis Barker. Josh messaged us to say, I'd like to say I'm so happy that you enjoy the Open Door series. I'm one of the producers on the video team at Architectural Digest. It truly brings me joy to know that incredible people like you like my work. I've been a tarpa since day one and I cannot thank you enough

for the smiles and laughs you brought back into my life. So when I read that tarpa, Josh, I thought, well, the feeling is absolutely mutual because Ryan, so, um, AD open door, if you've never watched it, it's on YouTube, you can watch it for free. Like it's, you know, it's not gatekeeping. It's amazing. And you get to go into celebrities' houses and so it's fucking sick. So Josh, do you know just how awesome it is? Or is it just like work for you? Oh, I mean, yes. Like sometimes it's work, but a lot of the time it's still like, I can't believe that I get to do this.

And like, I'm just one of the lucky ones that knows that my job is so much fun. It's not really work. Yeah. And so where, me especially, obsessed with Hilary Duff, can you please, and I'm nervous to ask, was she lovely? Oh, Hilary was incredible. It took me so much not to make like any reference to any of her songs from like, you know, way back when.

So is that part of it? You've got to just like be cool? Totally. Just play it cool? Is that part of the job? Yeah, a little bit. And as well, because you're in their house, you kind of have just play it cool. Is that part of the job? Yeah, a little bit. And as well, because you're in their house, you kind of have to play it cool because otherwise they're going to be like,

get the fuck out of my home. Like you're in my space right now, you know. But I will say that Tarpa Josh did give me some inside gossip that Hilary Duff's chickens were lovely in real life as well. Oh, that's great to know. That's great to know. So I want to know, Taffa Josh, how many, because when you watch these videos, it's as if there's one cameraman and just Hilary Duff.

Yeah. But, like, how many people are actually there? Great question. We try to keep a pretty small footprint. So it's actually two cameras and then me, our director and a PA, audio. So just roughly about like six to eight people really. And does it take like hours and hours to get footage and then you cut it up or is it

as simple and flowing as what we see? Oh yeah, it's a whole day. But I mean, so like the interview with the celeb is about an hour and then after that, it's all B roll, you know, like going in and like making sure that we get all of the details, especially of things that we talk about. Like, you know, sometimes they, actually we just talked about this in a meeting a couple of days ago.

It'd be really funny to make a cut that every celebrity saying, and this is where the magic happens. Like a hundred percent of the time someone will say, and this is where the magic happens. So, but yeah, the B roll does take quite a while. So we're there roughly about seven to eight hours. So I know that the brand of Architectural Digest is not the same brand as This Is Where The Magic Happens.

So obviously it doesn't quite fit. However, I can guarantee that if you released a mega cut of all these celebrities saying that, that would be the most viral video ever to happen on the internet. Are you guys aware of this? Yeah, I've been trying to think of a way to bring us onto... Well, so Condé as a whole, we're trying to get back into the social media game, right?

So I think a lot of our brands just started our TikTok channel. So if you guys are listening, please follow us. But I... Shameless plug. But, yeah, I think, honestly, that would be incredible. I think that would be a really fun one for either our TikTok or Instagram. I've watched that 20 times. I've watched that so much.

I actually saw – I've literally watched Travis Barker's Open Door probably five times, and it goes for like 40 minutes. I watched the other day Rita Ora and her house is incredible. But when they're in the bedroom, she's like, and this is the bed and all I do is sleep and just like winks at the camera. And I think every man in the world or person in the world just melted

as soon as she went in and went, oh, my God, Rita Ora, you're amazing. So anyway, Tapa Josh, this is all lovely to hear about. However. Oh, my God, this is amazing. I will never forget. You were right. I'll never forget. No, this is all lovely to hear about. However. Oh, my God, this is amazing. I will never forget. You were right. I'll never forget. No, this isn't it.

What? So this is a business call because Josh and I have been, well, not really me. I'm just the middleman. But, Josh, can you give the plans of what's next for Architectural Digest's Open Door? Yeah. So, well, not only, i don't just do open door i do a lot of other videos for um architecture digest but our next project actually is courtyards of the world and i know that tony has one of the best courtyards in melbourne so i'd really love to have you on. Fuck off.

Because everyone worldwide apparently knows that you do have one of the biggest courtyards in the world. Yeah. And so what was the name of the series again, Josh? Yeah, so we're featuring best courtyards of Melbourne. And you're just on the top of my list. If I don't get you, I'm going to be pretty upset, actually. And I think our editor would also just be a little bit upset that I wasn't able to bag such a talent.

I have no words. It's Tony. I'm in. You're in. Yes. Oh, my God, 100%. Oh, fuck, I've got to call Gardner. I've in. You're in. Yes. Oh, my God, 100%. Oh, fuck, I've got to call Gardner. I've got to get someone around.

I've got to get one of those big bowls of limes. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, the lime. The lime. Oh, my God. Are you fucking serious? Don't fuck with my emotions, Tapa, Josh, and also Ryan. Is this real?

Hey, what just happened? Is this real? Why did you just change tune? Because I don't want to get excited about this and it not be real. On behalf of Tapa, Josh, and I, how fucking dare you accuse us of fucking with you? Is this real? Are you trying to tell me that you don't believe that Architectural Digest is doing a series because they're sick of celebrities in the US and they're now going to concentrate on Melbourne courtyards? Okay, yeah, it's definitely a lie.

Oh. What? Is it a lie? Because you're right, that doesn't sound right. Topper Josh, can you be honest with me? Is this actually happening? All right, I don't have the heart for it. Like, I'm so sorry, Ryan.

It was a really good effort, but no, this is not happening. We just wanted to say how lovely and talented you are and that I want you on my channel. I honestly thought as soon as Josh said that, you would have smelt a rat instantly Now I feel terrible I thought you would have laughed at God You guys are idiots

Maybe I should have thrown in that like I wanted to meet John the cat Guys I really thought Oh shit Tony is Oh god this is I'm like... Guys, I really thought... Oh, shit. Tony is... Oh, no. Oh, God, this is... We don't do pranks.

It's not a prank. It's a prank. It's not a prank. Josh said, is it like a prank? And I was like, nah, Tony will know straight away that we're taking the piss. And he goes, oh, okay. And you thought architecture was a project. Oh, no, Tony.

There's nothing in your courtyard. I'm so sorry. It's a big courtyard, but there's nothing in it. Hey, guys, here's the courtyard, here's the wall, and here's the door that goes back into it. What did you do? I feel terrible. Hey, I mean, like, I mean, our TikTok is pretty small,

so to be honest, like, I could pitch it and I'll let you know. Yeah, our TikTok's probably bigger than theirs. Get fucked. Both of you. I'm really upset by that. I thought that I was going to be on AD open door, open back door, obviously for mine. Everyone knows your name. I feel bad for Taffer Josh. I've roped him into this. I feel bad for me. No, I feel, yeah, I feel bad for Tony.

I'm sorry. Like I'm used to telling people now, so. Righto. You actually, jokes aside, Josh, how many celebs do you have to turn away and go, well, obviously not coming to your shit fucking house? Yeah, there's a couple people that we definitely, they're interested, but we, let's just say it doesn't fit our aesthetic. Right, that's a very nice way of saying it, actually. Yeah, okay.

Well, I'm glad to be added to that list of rejects. Oh, but you can imagine, it's great PR for the people because they come off great in the house. Oh, yeah, and the house looks awesome. Tony, I would like to apologize to Tony Lodge and to Tapa Josh. Because we don't do pranks, I was like, this is real. Well, I just assumed it wasn't. The second he said that, you'd go, ha-ha, you guys are idiots.

Thanks for joining us. Did your heart break when I was excited? Yeah. I was like, fuck, because Josh was like, I could really ham it up. I was like, no, no, just be cool. She'll figure it out. Oh, my God. Okay. Well, just kidding. I didn't, no, no, just be cool. She'll figure it out. Oh, my God. Okay.

Well, just kidding. I didn't think that you guys would come into my house. Cool, Josh. Go fuck yourself. Josh, thanks for being a tarp, though. No, you know what? I'll just put it up to the fact that I'm such a good actor that I, like, made it so real that it was that believable.

Yeah, I'll pay that. Maybe I'm just so desperate. I'm sorry. I'll pay that. Maybe I'm just so desperate. I'm sorry. I'm so great. I suspect it's not true, but I just want it to be true, so I'll believe it. Yeah. Josh, thanks for joining us on the Tony and Ryan Show.

Yeah, I really appreciate it. And keep doing God's work because we actually love what you do. Oh, come on. I could say the same for you guys. No, thank you so much for having me on. This was a pleasure. Aw, we'll love you, Josh. Hopefully we see you one day in the very distant future when i'm a real celebrity and you want to come to

my house oh i don't know would you have time to have a chicken parm with me my gosh yeah i'll have a chicken parm with you but it's on you because you broke my heart today fair enough fair enough oh thanks josh Fair enough, fair enough Aw, thanks Josh Like, all jokes aside though, I'm a bit embarrassed I really, I thought that, you know Well, you can't win them all, can you? Well, I've won nothing because

Well, you have won something, you got to speak to the guy that makes it But I had, like, no offence to Josh, he's a great guy But I'd spoken to him via message Yeah, because he's in the Josh, he's a great guy, but I'd spoken to him via message. Yeah, because he's in the Patreon. Because he's in the Patreon. So I had spoken to him before. But, you know, like maybe one day I'll be up there, I'll be famous enough that they are interested.

I've got to, you'll love to see it. And again, I didn't actually see that playing out that way. So I'm sorry to get your hopes up. But sort of funny though. But also sorry, but also sort of funny. Forget your hopes up. Sort of funny though. But also, sorry, but also sort of funny.

I have just sent you a picture on your phone of Tyler, who is a tarpa. Hi, Tyler. Oh, my God, that beautiful hair. It's fascinating that you said that. Beautiful lady, beautiful curly hair. Why am I looking at tarpa Tyler? So Tyler has sent in a message. She listens to the podcast.

Sorry if this is a bit triggering, Tony. Tyler, her mum, was diagnosed with cancer in June. Oh, Tyler, I'm so sorry. No, I'm not sorry. That sucks. It fucking sucks. So Tyler decided to chop that beautiful hair off in a show of solidarity. But she also raised money for the local cancer charity in her area in the oncology unit at the hospital.

Oh, wow. She raised 7,000 euros or 7,000 pounds, equivalent to $12,500 Australian. And if the money's not enough, Tyler says, all of my hair was donated to a charity that makes wigs for children who have lost their hair through conditions like alopecia or cancer treatment. So that beautiful hair has been donated.

And I wish I was the type of person, you know how some people can just like pull off a bald head? Yeah. Can I send you a picture? And I don't want this to be in a creepy way, but check out what Tyler looks like now. I just sent you that text. Oh, my God. So stunning. Stunning.

Stunning before, stunning now. Isn't it amazing how when someone, like, has their hair pulled back or shaved their head or whatever, the way that you, like, look at their features totally changes? Yep. Like, oh, my God, so gorgeous. Oh, Tyler, well done. You love to say that.

When my mum lost her hair to chemo before she passed away, she had really thick hair like me and she shaved all her hair. And I was like, Mum, I'll shave my head like in solidarity. She was like, oh, God, Tony and I will both look terrible. She's like, I'd rather have something nice to look at. I really don't want to fucking look at you bald. Yeah, if I'm laying here on my deathbed, the last thing I want to see. She's like, I look shocking.

You don't need to look shocking as well. Oh, fuck, you got cancer as well? No. No, my mum does and now I look shit ass. Why are you bald and pale and look fucked? Yeah. Oh, no, that's just me. I'm pasty.

Just in solidarity. Did you raise any money? Nah. Nah. I just did this in my bathroom. Didn't raise any money. Tyler, that's amazing. It is amazing.

That's so lovely. I hope that your mum goes into remission very soon. That's amazing. Will my love to see it? It's so stupid in comparison. I saw this tweet and unfortunately I don't have the handle of someone just like posted the screenshot so I can't credit the owner. But the tweet is, my friend is staying in a hotel in Belgium

and they offered her the option of renting a fish for the night in case she's lonely. Lovely. So I'm just showing you here. My friend is staying in a hotel in Belgium. They offer the option of renting a fish for the night in case she's lonely. Lovely. So I'm just showing you here. My friend is staying in a hotel in Belgium. They offer the option of renting a fish. What a great idea. So there's a photo of, like, a goldfish in a fishbowl.

Yeah. And it says, there's, like, a little picture of Nemo, like, from finding Nemo on the thing. And it says, alone in your room and want some company? Rent a fish. €3.50 a night. And there's, like, a QR code to, like, obviously scan it and, like, take your money. And they bring a fish up €3.50 a night. And there's like a QR code to obviously scan it and take your money. And they bring a fish up.

Yeah. That's so cute. Isn't that sweet? That is sweet. Would you do that? A hundred percent. I just like chatting. So I would enjoy.

Could you imagine the conversations that that fish has had to endure? They would have forgotten about it. Imagine. You know what I thought? Luckily, they've got only that three-second memory because they would have seen some shit. They would have seen some shit. Like some crazy sex happens in hotels.

What if the little fish is watching? Well, they obviously would be. But also when you're alone, because it's for lonely people, but when you're alone in a fancy hotel room. What's the first thing you're doing? Ordering six burgers and a pizza. That fish would have seen me eat like some crazy room service and then think, oh, no, probably not tonight,

and gone to sleep. Did this chick come to town for a reason? Because she kind of just got to the hotel room, ate six burgers and went to bed. Is she here on business? Was she supposed to go to an event?, ate six burgers and went to bed. Is she here on business? Was she supposed to go to an event? Is there a wedding? She came to town and went to town.

On the food. On the food. Not on herself. Thanks so much for... So this is quite a traumatising episode for me, so I'm going to go home and try and regroup. I hope everyone can... I just thought straight away you'd just, you'd just laugh and say,

oh, you guys are idiots. I'm in travel mode still. I'm holiday Tony. And you know that that makes me carefree. So I was like, fuck yeah. I don't know if that's related. They can be carefree and still like... Oh, I don't have my wits about me at the moment.

Better than reality. All right. Well, fucking love ya. Not you. Could you imagine if AD's like, okay, after the celebrity open door, let's do like world's biggest courtyards. Let's start in Melbourne. It's actually not a bad idea.

That's why I was like, this could be real. Yeah, maybe I should have made the idea stupider. Yeah. If you said they wanted to do an open door at my house, I'd be like, obviously not. Like, my house is like... Okay, Tarpers, put in the episode thread. Did you know we were joking straight away?

Not everyone definitely will know. I was the one that was just, like, sold on this dream. Everyone's going to know. They're going to know. Everybody's going to know. They're going to know. Everybody's going to know. Meow. Love you. Not you.

Oh, sorry. Love everybody else. Do you love Josh? Ask me tomorrow. Love you, bye.