Toni and Ryan - At the Bank and in the Bedroom

Episode Date: November 21, 2022

Things you can say at the bank and also in the bedroom - plus my foiled attempts and getting hot and becoming ~that bitch~. Love ya! Toni xoxox Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Plus you can find the links to pre-order Toni's book here! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

For a limited time, switch to Shopify Point of Sale, and you could save up to 20% and improve your bottom line. We're so serious about savings, we've made this ad 20% shorter. That means you get 6 seconds back. Just enough time to visit shopify.com slash POS20. Now that's an efficient ad. Eligibility requirements apply. See shopify.com slash POS20 for details. All right, we're calling Florida. Florida.

And we're calling Brendan. Brendan in Florida. That sounds like a reality TV show. Hello? Brendan! Brendan? Brendan, can you hear us? Hello? Hey, it's Sony and Ryan.

How you doing? Can you hear me? Oh, shit. It's like a singular commercial. How's it going? It's like a what? What does it sound like? Oh, shit. It's like a singular commercial. How's it going? It's like a what? What does it sound like? Oh, sorry.

It's an old phone carrier in the US. Oh, and it's just as shit as using Skype from Australia, using that one cable that goes under the Pacific Ocean through Mexico to Florida. It's pretty insane that it is actually cables on the ocean floor, don't you reckon? That's insane. Is that true?

Isn't it? I don't think so. What? Sorry, Tony's just freaking out. Hey, will you approve this podcast, Brendan? Oh, of course. I appreciate it. I'd love to. Oh, and you approve that and I approve that I was right because the internet is on the floor

of the ocean. Are you joking? Yes, it's on the New York Times. Must be right. Must be true. 100%. Hey, it's Brendan from Florida and I approve this podcast. All right, coming up today. You know when you really G yourself up for something

and then like a few things happen and you kind of like get off the ball and then someone's like, oh, yeah, do you still want to do that thing? And you go, oh. No. Nah. What have you committed to? Well, I committed to trying to be that bitch. That bitch?

That bitch. What kind of that bitch? You know the one. That bitch. That bitch. Yeah, I thought,? You know the one. That bitch. That bitch. Yeah. I thought, you know what? Here's my time to shine. I'm geeing myself up for this particular thing. And then, you know, the very small window of opportunity closed and I need some help. Okay. From me or just in general? I mean, just in general. Yeah. I need help. What's the name of your book? I Don't Need Therapy. And I stand by that.

Yeah, and what's the next line of it? And other lies I've told myself. Now open for pre-order. Right now, though, things you can say at the bank and also in the bedroom. Call me the Reserve Bank because I'm seeing you and my interest is going up. Someone's been reading up on the economics terms.

Economics chat. Yeah. I'm all about this. Yeah, that's the one that I asked Tobbs for advice about and he went, it's not really right. And I went, you know what? Comedy first. Comedy first. Will you accept this British pounding?

Yes, I will, good lady yeah no i got it i just um i'm really proud of you because i had the exact same joke oh i'll be putting that in the wank bank this is for when i'm trying to take your penis out of your pants, consensually. I'd like to make a withdrawal. How much would you like me to pull out today? The whole lot. Oh, is that all that's in there?

You don't have much in there. Fuck, this is my savings account. Not buying a house with that. I copped a discharge fee. Oh, sure. I don't normally charge that, but here we go. Will you fill up my vault? Yep.

We take all come and see. Yeah, we want you to come and see. Sorry. Can we make this quick? I'm trying to get it done on my lunch break. How long do you have to line up? Depends what time of day you turn up. Well, everyone's trying to come at lunch, so of course it's busy.

CommBank, more like CumWank. I'm with Commonwealth Bank, so thanks to the fine folks at Commonwealth Bank. Should I insert this or is it just a quick tap? Oh! I like that. Thank you. Tap and go. Tap and come.

This is for when someone brings in, like, heaps of spare change in one of those bags. Yep. Oh, that's a big sack. Full of pennies. Full of pennies. Full of memories. Full of potential. Full of potential.

Yeah, this is for my kids. Dick savings or credit? Credit. Because of the size of the deposit I'm going to give you, we actually have to inform ASIC. You don't want to do the wrong thing by them. No. Ah, sick.

Put it in my ass, sick. Bankteller. I hardly know her. Once I fix your... Once I fix your overdraft, I'm going to get you over shaft. And my interest rates are high. Call me inflation because I am rising. Supply and demand, tell you about it. You supply it, I demand it.

I demand you supply it. Did you want to make a deposit? Because I've been checking you out. Ooh, that's good. Thank you. Now the wording on this is tricky, so I just need to concentrate. Is that one? I just need to concentrate. Is that one? I really need to concentrate.

Would you show interest in pound then come, or do you prefer compound interest? And they say having an accounting and finance degree makes no difference in the podcasting world. Well, fucking what's this segment been? I mean, if you're from finance, I could tell because you've got a finance. What the fuck? How long have you been sitting on that for? Literally about three seconds.

Thank God. She's like, you've been waiting for two years for the perfect opportunity to roll this one out. I'm actually here for business. Let's not fuck around. Not for pleasure. My boss is waiting for me. Which phone should I use?

This is a French man who works at the bank. Oh, oui, oui. Should I put this in your account? I beg your pardon. Your account. Your account. A French person at the back. Let me check your name.

Macaulay Conte. What is your county? I use all of my English. I think I'm Italian all of a sudden. You understand my spaghetti meatballs? In your canto. Did I at least start French or have I been Italian the whole time? I liked it though.

Yeah. Oh, my account's full. My account is overdrawn. Do you have an interest in my account? Yes. Hey, this is Brendan from Florida and you're listening to... As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors. Like when our estrogen levels drop during menopause, causing the risk of heart disease to go up.

Know your risks. Visit heartandstroke.ca. Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion typists over at our Patreon. Nathan Schreiter. Oh, Nathan Schronger. Right or wrong? Arbor Valencia.

Grant the Studman Stutsman. Well, spent a night with the Studman. Oh, God. Beep, beep, beep, beep. Good luck walking the next day after hanging out with a studman. Studfinder. I found one. Sorry. Cameron Zingle.

Susie Roll. Sausage Roll. Reece Gorman and Jason Talbot. Thank you so much. My primary school music teacher was called Mrs. Talbot. She was the fucking best. Was she? Yeah.

I wonder if they're related. Probably. Probably. Maybe. In our Patreon today, we will be making an announcement about the live stream for this month, which will be happening later in the week or the week. It'll be in the Patreon now. We haven't decided. We haven't decided right now, but by Tuesday we'll know.

Yep. So go and check that out. We'll be live. Live. God, you sound like you're about to die. Die while being live. Are we still on? Fucking hell.

Have we started the show today? Wow. All right. You're still at the bank. Sorry, I finished. I forgot a good bank joke. Oh. Okay.

Oh, well, where were you 10 minutes ago? Whenever there's a bank holiday, for me it just ends up being a w bank joke. Oh. Okay. Oh, well, where were you 10 minutes ago? Whenever there's a bank holiday, for me, it just ends up being a wank holiday. Nice. Okay, let's continue with the show. Wow, thank God we went back for that. That's what she said. Oh, mate. Tony's lost it.

It's been a big day. All right. I mentioned earlier that in my attempt to become that bitch, it has gone wrong. Shocker. I've tried to become that bitch quite a few times. Now, what is your definition of that bitch? I just want to get my shit together, basically.

So a few months ago on the podcast, I talked about whether it would be okay if I joined your gym. Oh, yeah. You remember that? I haven't seen you there. So I decided against it because I thought maybe it's a bit too close if I'm going to the same gym. Not that you were there either. That's fucking aggressive language.

Is it true? Not inaccurate, but aggressive nonetheless. But we decided on the pod that it was okay. We did, but I just thought split custody just never works. Please. And we've had this conversation about other things. You can come up with excuses for not doing shit you want to do, but don't blame it on me.

Mate, I just want to be there for you. Don't blame it on me. That's just all I'm trying to do. Anyway. While I'm being that bitch in the gym. I decided against joining the gym that you went to, which now won't be your gym. No, it's free for you to use.

Did you remember to cancel your gym machine? No, don't. That's also aggressive. No, I'm not being aggressive. I'm being helpful. Again, both accurate. Helpful, yes, but it's aggressive because I have it. Okay.

I'm just trying to help you save money, mate. Thank you. You just bought a beautiful Beyonce's Airbnb. Yep. I'm tight for cash. You're tight for cash. You know, I'm just trying to. According to everyone in our group, need to probably buy myself a car. Yeah. People aren't happy that you want to borrow my car.

And they went wrong. I'm glad that I had 30,000 people backing me up about you not borrowing my car. Anyway. So I've just been like working out at home and like walking Pippa and stuff, but basically not doing anything except walking Pippa. And then a few weeks ago, I was like, nah, I want to find a good gym. So I was doing all this research and you know how I get with research about like big purchases. So all the gyms. A big $11 a week purchase. No, well, a lot of the gyms, except for the leisure center, which is where you went, a lot of them are like $50 a week. Yeah.

And they can go up to like. It's crazy. One of those virgin ones. Oh, Virgin Active. Yeah. That's like $50 a week. Yeah, and they can go up to like. It's crazy. Are those virgin ones? Oh, virgin active, yeah. That's like $10 million a year or something. It's fucking. That's probably a slight exaggeration. No, I think that's what it is.

It says on the website. Okay, okay, cool. So fucking expensive. Yeah, yep. And because I was really keen on going and doing like, you know, Reformer Pilates like on the bed thing? Yeah, we're talking about expensive. Oh, just triple the price.

Thanks, man. Oh, you want to use those? Oh, sorry. Sorry, let me get out the gold pl man. Oh, you want to use those? Oh, sorry. Sorry, let me get out the gold plated folder. Did you want it to be Instagrammable? That's going to be $40 a class. You are that bitch. So expensive.

So I was like, I want to do heaps of research. And because some of them offered trials and I was trying to compare which one I wanted to do and what I wanted to look like. Trials are a great way to, like, I know that's what they're called. But like, it's fitness. It's great to do a few classes. Oh, the lady who teaches the class seems really nice because it doesn't say that on the website, but that can make all the difference. If you just get a vibe, you gel them, they feel you, you feel them.

Yeah. And another thing that I always do when I'm looking at a gym is look at the photos on Instagram, but look at the tagged photos on Instagram just to see if the people that are going there are all like fucking CrossFit, fucking super-duper women. Yeah, that's going to be quite overwhelming. Because, like, I don't want to be the new girl there.

And everyone starts somewhere, but I don't want to go in there, be the new girl, and then feel anxious and then not go. So I'm like if I know that there's a few other beginners or a few other people that, you know, just drop in three times a week or whatever, they're not there every day at five, you know, maybe it's a bit more comforting, right? I don't know if it's a thing that guys say often, but the thought of me going to the gym where every guy's fucking ripped

and jacked and they're all bodybuilders and I just waddle in there with my fucking dad bod, you never feel like more of a piece of shit. I cannot agree with this more. I usually tease you about your research. No, but it's true. Yeah, no. Because there's either like heaps of hot dudes that I'm like, oh, my God, they're looking at me thinking that I'm not hot or heaps of hot girls that I'm like, oh, my God, are you thinking

like what's she doing here? Am I allowed to sweat near you? You know what I mean? And like you're fucking huffing and puffing at the back of the class and they're like gliding through life like a dolphin. They've got no fucking problems. They've, you know, like never paid full price anywhere. They're not even paying to go to this gym.

You're paying a million dollars a fucking minute and looking like shit. And I don't own any Lululemon. So am I even allowed to go in there? Probably not. Do you know what I mean? Anyway, so that's one of the things that I do. And then I also was like, is there room to park? Is there room to park my scooter?

Can I walk there? Like all of these different things. I've looked at heaps of my area, found one I really, really liked the look of. Looked through their Instagram. Looked at their timetable. The timetable's important. If it doesn't match up with your life, then what's the point? Exactly.

Like if there's a class every Tuesday at 7.30, but that's it, then I'm like, well, I work that day. You know? Must be hard balancing your timetable around working one day a week. Fuck off. Okay. What? There's a 30-minute episode every day.

What do you do for the other 23 hours? Shame! I'm busy working out. God damn it. So I'm looking at their timetable, seeing if there's a place I can park, whatever. I got really pumped about this one in particular. Okay. And I'm like, you know what?

This is the one. I've done all my research. This is the fucking one. Is it fair to say that whilst you can do months and months of research, once you have decided, then that's it. You're pumped. There's no more research. And you're like, fuck, wish I'd started going last week.

Yeah. What have I been researching for? This is the one the whole time. You've decided and you know straight away. And so you've found your one. So I'm like really pumped. And this one day, so this is about three or four weeks ago. I am having a good day.

I'm feeling pumped. I'm feeling like that bitch. And I go, you know what? I've got about six things on my to-do list and I'm going to do every single one today. And the one that happened to be at the bottom was ringing the gym. And I get to the bottom of the list and I go, yeah, I'm feeling good. I've had a really productive day. I call them.

Ring, ring. Ring, ring. Ring, ring. No fucking answer. And I go, well, I guess that's that over. What a momentum killer, though. Yep, such a momentum killer. So when you say that's over, do you mean it's over for me today

trying to call or that's over for you ever attending a gym? Ever attending a gym. So I'm like, oh, not meant to be. What a shame. It's not meant to be. Call the Paris Olympics. I will not be in attendance. Yeah, let them know that I'm really sorry, but I can't be there. You'll Paris Olympics. I will not be in attendance. Yeah. Let

them know that I'm really sorry, but I can't be there. You'll have to get someone else to do the marathon guys. And I've, you know, I've just fallen over in Jakarta. There's no way. And then one day about three or so weeks ago, this is like a week and a half later when we got back from New Zealand, I'm like, all right, I've done nothing but eat shit for fucking five days. I really want to get my shit together. I feel like I just really want to focus. I'm going to join this gym. So the same one. Had my eye on them.

I'd been following them on Instagram. Like, you know. Did the refresh? Refresh. I'm like, yep, no, this is definitely the one. Then, as luck would have it, I see this sponsored post on Instagram and it's for that gym because obviously I've been fucking blowing them up. Yeah, exactly.

They can smell a sale. Yes, exactly. And it comes up and it says three trial classes for $30. Fantastic. No commitment. Exactly. And normally it's like $50 a week. Fuck.

So I'm like, cool, three classes for $10 each is fucking pretty good. So I click on that. There's like a link and it's like inquire now. And I put in my name, put in my phone number, put in my address, whatever. And I'm like, cool, they're going to call me back and they're going to organise it. Yep. A few days go by, don't hear anything back.

Another day and I'm like, oh, please call. Like I'm still, I'm kind of still on the train. But also like you put the ad out. This is your marketing strategy. Yeah. I'm trying to come and pay money. I'm trying to give you money, bro. Yeah.

And also, like, I'm feeling the momentum at the time. Yeah. So I'm like, I need you to call me back. Yeah. And so then before you ask and you say, why don't you just try to call them again? Because I got really anxious that I was going to call them during a class and they'd go, oh, well, we're really busy right now. We can't talk.

Not that that would ever happen, but I freaked myself out. So I was like, I'm not going to fucking ring. They can ring me when they're ready. Okay. First of all, there's a lot of information there. Yeah. A, I was going to ask that. Yes, I know.

Because 12s ask the same thing. Yeah. B, that story you've just created about a girl mid-teaching a class picking up a call. Yeah. Random, because usually you call the office, not the Pilates platform. You've got Rita on the reformer. She's like pumping her leg in and out. Hello, this is Rita.

Get down and give me 20. Sorry, I'm just at home. I'll just squat now. I'm in the wrong pants. Okay. But yeah, okay. So I don't hear anything. I'm a bit disappointed, but I'm like, oh, you know what?

Like these things happen. I guess it's not meant to be. Paris is not my year. And I actually just forget all about it. And then two weeks later, just before we left for Jakarta, this is like last week, I get a call, right? My phone rings and I go, hello, Tony Lodge speaking. She goes, oh, it's Blah from Fusion in Richmond.

I'm just calling about the blah, blah, blah. And I was like, who? What? And she goes, oh, from the Fem1 in Richmond, just like returning your call about your inquiry. And I was like, oh, and I realised it's the gym. But it's been like three weeks. I just totally fucking forgot about it.

What are they doing? And I'm like, where did you get this fucking number? Anyway, she's bubbly and lovely. Has my data been sold from Medibank? Where did you get this phone number? Literally. Is there a data breach? And I'm like, oh, hello.

And she's fucking lovely, right? Of course. She goes, oh, my God, I'm so sorry we didn't call sooner. We've just had like a big change of staff. That's a red flag. Yeah. Well, that's what I thought. Everyone just quit because of the toxic behaviour you know. That's a red flag. Yeah. Well, that's what I thought.

Everyone just quit because of the toxic behaviour. You know, all that business stuff. But would you like to come in and show us your body? Anyway, and she's like, oh, well, I've just seen your inquiry anyway. And I was like, oh, that's okay. And she goes, I've just seen your inquiry. We'd love to get you into the gym. Great.

Immediately, though, I'm offside because I'm like, who is this? Then she tells me the thing about the staff change. I'm like, oh, my God, okay. And then I go, I was actually into this like three weeks ago. You've called the wrong Tony. Yeah. Like that was three weeks ago, Tony, when I was like, new November, new me. But now. Now you've called mid-Movember, mid-don't-give-a-fuck.

Yeah. Like, no, I don't really want to do this anymore. Did you actually not want to do it or were you just like. I just like wasn't prepared at that time to like. The momentum had lapsed. Exactly. And so I was like, oh, this is what I wanted two weeks ago, not really what I want today.

Try again tomorrow, see how you go. And actually when she rang, you were over the road getting a Suvas. So I'm like, fuck, I'm actually about to eat a fucking Suva Laki. Ryan's getting a, hey, guess if it's fucking beef or chicken. Sike, it's both. It's both. And there's chips in there as well. There's chips in there.

Double the garlic sauce. And so I'm on the phone with this woman and she's so lovely. She's like, when did you want to come for a walkthrough before you commit? Like, we'd love to come and, you know, show you the gym so you don't just pay money for nothing, whatever. And I go, oh, well, I'm actually away for work next week. But I've already sounded a bit off. That sounds like you're blowing her off.

So it sounds like I'm fucking lying. And that's a thing that people would say. Exactly. Yeah. You know, business women, they go, oh, well, I'm actually away for work next week. I'm actually busy being that bitch. I'm travelling for business. Yes. And she goes, oh!

So that obviously sounds like a fucking lie, right? And then she goes, oh, where are you off to? And then I go, none of your fucking business. Jakarta. Yeah. Which also sounds like a fucking lie. Who's going to Jakarta? I've never met anyone except you last week going to Jakarta, which also sounds like a fucking lie. Who's going to Jakarta? I've never met anyone except you last week going to Jakarta. And it's so fucking random.

So I'm like, okay, well, there's no fucking way that she believes me. She goes, when are you back? And I go, oh, Friday. I'm away for six months. I'm actually moving there. And I go, oh, Friday the 18th. So like Friday just gone. And she goes, great.

I'll call you Monday or Tuesday and we'll get you back in the gym. Like the following week we'll get you in. I'd love to meet you. Like can't wait to meet you. And I go, okay, well, you think I'm fucking lying anyway. How about you just be polite and go, you call us when you get back. But instead she's backing in and going, cool,

we'll call you when you get back. Great. And I'm like, oh, yeah, okay, well, the time spars, I'm not really keen, but yeah, cool, talk to you on Monday or Tuesday. So the whole time we're away I'm like jeering myself up because I'm like, oh, yeah, okay, well, the time spouse, I'm not really keen, but, yeah, cool, talk to you on Monday or Tuesday. So the whole time we're away, I'm like jeering myself up because I'm like, when I go back to Melbourne, this chick's going to call hopefully and then, you know, I'm going to get into it. And then I'm like, oh, maybe she won't call.

Maybe she's just going to forget. But then I'm like, no, I'm going to call them. Oh, see, okay. I'm going to call them when I get back. I can't keep up with the two of you. I know. I know. Sorry, it's so much.

But then in Jakarta. You fell out of a fucking car. I fell out of a car and I've hurt myself quite badly and I can't do a lot at the moment. Just to recap, you rolled your ankle, you landed on your knee, which was full of gravel and yuck and all. And when something cuts up and scars, then bending and twisting is a fucking pain. And I think I actually.

Bruises on your shins. And then I think I actually have to go and get a tetanus shot. Yeah. So I'm probably going to have like a dead arm for life because they fucking hurt. I didn't realize until I got one last year. They fucking hurt. Well, the needle doesn't hurt, but afterwards your arm is like fucking dead. I thought it was just a little.

No. I'm going to lay a bed. No. It's like fucking. You will not arm is like fucking dead. I thought it was just a little, I'm going to go, bud. No, it's like fucking. You will not be curling those biceps for days. Absolutely not. So now I'm stressed she is going to remember and she's going to call me and go, hey, Tony, like ready to go.

I'm like, well, I've actually sustained an injury on my international work business trip. Do you reckon people can hear inverted commas? So she goes, so how was your work trip to Jakarta? Oh, what was that? You hurt yourself. Yeah, and then she's fucking on the phone and she's rolling her eyes at the girl next to her going, Rita, you fucking hear her on this?

Yeah, work trip, hurt yourself. Yeah, okay, pull the fucking other one. I don't need to do Pilates today because I've got so much exercise from rolling my eyes at the bullshit that you're pulling out here. Oh, my God. And so now I'm like I've G'd myself up and down like 50 times and now I'm stressed she's going to ring because she's going to be like, you're obviously fucking lying to me.

Yeah. Why are you wasting my time? Well, you called me, sweetheart. Well, I'm not going to say like, you're obviously fucking lying to me. Yeah. Why are you wasting my time? Well, you called me, sweetheart. Well, I'm not going to say that. Why not? You're wasting my time. You keep calling me. You're asking for my money.

Why are you calling me and telling me I'm wasting your time? But every time the phone rings, I want to throw it across the room. I'm like, it's her fucking ringing. Have you saved the number? No, I haven't. That's a good idea. Well, because any time a random number calls, are you just throw it across the room. I'm like, it's her fucking ringing. Have you saved the number? No, I haven't. That's a good idea. Well, because any time a random number calls, are you just like, vomit? Yeah.

Oh, my God. This isn't the gym, is it? Hello, Broken Leg Tony speaking. Hello, Tony from the hospital speaking. Hello, this is Nurse Jackie watching over Tony's body. Nurse Jackie. She's currently in a stable condition, but she will not be able to exercise until she wakes up.

Oh, I answer. And then in the background, maybe you could go beep, beep, beep. Hey, let's do a pretend. Okay. Should I be Jackie or should I be the beeps? How about you just audio queen it and you figure it out. Okay. All right.

So am I the girl from the gym and me? No, I think you're just you. Okay. All right. So ring, ring, ring, ring. Oh, here we go. All right. Ryan, are you ready? Hello, Tony Blige speaking. Be're just you. Okay. All right. So ring, ring, ring, ring. Oh, here we go. All right.

Ryan, are you ready? Hello, Tony Lodge speaking. Oh. Is that Tony Lodge? Yes, it is. It's Rita from the gym. Oh, Rita on the Reformer. Oh, hi.

How are you feeling, Tony? Oh, I've actually seen better days. What's something happened in Jakarta? For your business trip? I actually, yeah. That you definitely 100% went on? I can show you the stamp on my passport. Oh, that's not true. We figured out last week they don't do stamps anymore.

They don't do that anymore. Apparently you and your friend Ryan were disappointed because you wanted to seem like travellers and were shattered that they didn't put a stamp on your passport. But please tell me more about your real trip to Jakarta. Yeah, so I just wanted to let you know. Sorry, actually, no, you called me. What do you need?

Oh, would you like to come and see me? I can't wait to meet you. Don't you think it's funny that when I talk, the beeping stops? I actually, oh, I'm so sorry. What's up, beeping? I won't be able to come into the gym this week because I'm actually. What have you done? Oh, is everything okay?

Well, while I was in Jakarta, I actually fell out of a car, a moving car. You moved out of a car in Jakarta. Yeah, Jakarta. And, yeah, and so I'm really sorry, but I've sustained an injury. Oh, what injury? Are you okay? Sounds like you're in hospital. My leg, yeah, I'm here getting a tetanus shot,

so unfortunately I'll have a dead arm and a broken leg for a little while. Oh, great. Well, we've actually got a swim class where you don't need your legs. It's all upper body stuff. Okay, well, my arm will be dead from the tetanus shot, so I'm really sorry. I won't be able to come in. Oh, we've actually got a swim class where you don't need your legs. It's all upper body stuff. Okay, well, my arm will be dead from the tennis shots. I'm really sorry. I won't be able to come in. Oh, we've actually got a class.

It's called left arm boxing. So you just use that one unvaccinated arm. Well, if it's just the one arm, is it half price? We've got an introductory. I'm not worried anymore. That's going to go awesome. Thanks, Rita. See you in summer.

We actually do it in a round pool because you just swim in a circle with one arm. It's a paddling pool. The class is called Whirlpool. Women's Whirlpool. Fuck. Well, I wish you well in your fitness journey. Well, now I'm just stressed because I'm like, she's going to ring and she's going to be like, you're obviously fucking lying. You know what I mean?

But, I mean, I'm pumped and I really want to do it. You call me a liar and you can also call me not a customer. It's also just one of those things where I'm like, I finally was G'd up to do it. And then I was like, now I have sustained this injury. Do they actually have a pool? No, I don't think so. Okay. No, unfortunately, no, I don't think so.

You're genuinely hamstrung. Yeah, it's literally like Pilates reformer and like bar classes and stuff. So it's like squatting and lunging and shit like that. Like I can't do that at the moment. Is it because Beyonce's Airbnb where I'm currently living, and I've gone through this, we're heading into summer. Yep. And we've both gone, oh, we need to get bikini summer ready.

Well, it's not really that. It's more just that I'm like, oh, my God, I just need to fucking create a bit of a routine. Get a habit. Yeah, and I'm not really doing anything that isn't work at the moment. I'm just like, and then I'm going, oh, well, I can't go to the gym because I'm working. Like, no, I could definitely make it work in my schedule.

Yeah. This is the thing that really triggers me when I going, oh, well, I can't go to the gym because I'm working. Like, no, I could definitely make it work in my schedule. Yeah. This is the thing that really triggers me when I realise, oh, I've just decided. It's not a priority. Like, it's not that I don't have the time. I don't make the time. And I know that I just need to make the time. So I was like, if I commit and I'm paying that much fucking money a week, then surely I'll go in there because I can't just throw $50 in the bin each week.

You guilt yourself into it. Yeah. So I'm like, yeah, so it's a really healthy relationship. Very healthy, yeah. Well, I look forward to seeing the progress. Thank you. As someone who hasn't remembered to cancel issue membership because it was so not a part of his life.

Yeah. Yeah. So just a couple of healthy Harrys out of you. What did you love to see? Well, this is sort of on topic. If something isn't right in your life, change it up. Oh, I'd love that. Do something.

I'm currently going through a very long process of trying to do something. I'll support that. Thank you. There's a platform in the UK called Women Who Rebrand, and it's championing growth and inspiring women to like live their real lives. Hey, something's not right. Change it up. If you want to live your best self and it's not currently where you are, we'll help you rebrand. Cause rebrand is like a fun word to be like, change it up. Yep. And what a great sort of positive environment. Totally.

And I don't want to make fun of this because I do actually think this sounds great. Okay. But with women who rebrand, can you tell me what looks wrong with their website when you see it there? Women. Oh. Oh. Okay. So women who rebrand, all one word. Yep. It does end up looking like women whore brand,

which is not what they're going for. No, it's actually not. Yeah. There's a bit of finger me energy about that, isn't it? Yes, there is. And so I really want to support you guys, but I feel like women whore brand coming up in my user history. You're going to go, ooh, maybe not.

What's going on there? Yeah, do that incognito. Yeah. Maybe they could have gone women dash who dash rebrand. Yeah, some dots. Or dots or an underscore. I know you can't with a domain, but the power of a capital letter. Yeah.

So I love to see the message. The message. But, yeah, maybe a better domain. Yeah. So I love to see... The message. The message. But, yeah, maybe a better domain. Oh, that sucks. And, you know, it's always the thing that you notice last. Well, someone else probably goes, you've been working on it for months. And someone goes, you know, it kind of looks like... Or you launch it and then people go, ha!

And then you go, oh. Yep. Fuck. I actually have something similar for my, you'll have to see it. Something, a women's, a women's whore brand? Well, something that kind of looked all good until it didn't. Okay, right. The Victoria Police posted this big post about schoolies,

which in Australia, wherever, I'm not sure if they have it in other places, but basically you finish year 12, which is your, wherever, I'm not sure if they have it in other places, but basically you finish year 12, which is your final year of high school, and you get to go and celebrate with all your friends that you finished up. You go away for a week and get fucked up. Yeah, but like, you're under 18. So like, you're not supposed to... In Victoria, that's not a thing. Oh, really?

Like, everyone turns 18 during their final year. Oh. So you're 18 and... Oh, okay. Well, that's loose. You were 17. In WA, yeah. Like no one was 18 yet.

I've got a brother. He'll go get us the beers. Exactly. Like you kind of go, oh, yeah, I've got one vodka cruiser that my mum didn't have on Christmas. I'll bring that. Yeah, I snagged it. You know, that kind of thing. Or you make like rocket fuel or whatever.

Don't do. Anyway, and they've kind of put together this lovely, like lots of tiles about like if you are in trouble, be honest with the police about what you've done so that they can help you. Yep. And it's like a really lovely and genuine post and there's, you know, lots of care reacts on Facebook and it's done really well.

The top comment is there's one of the tiles says, like be honest, it may save your life. Yep. One of the tiles says, be honest, it may save your life. Yep. But they have unfortunately typed, it may safe your life. Like, just an innocent mistake. The top comment is, oh, it may safe your life.

Great English there. You know, like, this guy, Mark, what a fuckhead. Fuck off, Mark. It's got 17 likes. Yeah, fuck that guy. Victoria Police reply. And they go, Hey Mark, we're looking for people. We're always looking for people with your attention to detail.

If you're interested in a career with us, read more here. And they've put the link to their career setting. And their comment has 300 likes. Yeah, top that ratio, Mark. Yeah, so fuck you, Mark. Suck a dick. I just love that they've turned that around. So Grim and Whore brand, you fuck it. Yeah, so fuck you, Mark. Suck a dick. I just love that they've turned that around. Yeah, right. So, Grim and Whore brand, safe your life.

Very good times. Fuck, I laughed so hard. I just love a comeback like that on the internet. Fucking so good. When brands clap back. I love it. So good. Tomorrow on the show.

Audio Queen. Audio Queen's back. Plus, actually, I'm not sure yet if it'll be tomorrow or the next day, but I have been proven correct. My favourite topic. I fucking doubt it. And everyone who was on my side in a debate the other week will also feel vindicated.

I don't think anyone's ever been on your side, but I look forward to hearing what you've got planned. That's tomorrow on the show. Love you, bye.