Toni and Ryan - Audio Queen VS Emergency Circumcision

Episode Date: June 22, 2022

The Audio Queen is back and telling MJ's story - plus things you wouldn't know if you woke up from a 30 year nap. Love ya!!!! Toni xxx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello? Alyssa! Oh, shit, sorry. My phone, I just put it on speaker and I was like, oh, my God. You guys just came out really loud. Oh, sorry. Where do we find you today? We're in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

Well, it's Tony and Ryan blaring on loud speaking of Philadelphia. Will you approve this podcast? Absolutely. Yay! Hi, it's Alyssa from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and I approve this podcast. Coming up today on the podcast. We decided we wanted to watch the first of a fun trilogy.

Yes, we did. Fun trilogy. Yep. Don't at me with your Lord of the Rings stuff. Oh, we were not going to. There's just no way we were going to watch Lord of the Rings. So today, Austin Powers. I loved Austin Powers

when I was little. I love it too. It's the perfect way to end our Tony and Ryan Friday. Is it? Yes. Yeah, okay. Alright. That's coming up soon, but I would like to welcome MJ. Hi, MJ. Who listens to the podcast from London. And like a lot of people, when they find the podcast

sometimes we'll go back to the start or go and catch up or whatever, which I never saw that coming. I didn't expect that. But then when we were talking about it the other day and you mentioned the way that you would go back and binge from the beginning of a TV show, that makes sense. That's what

I do. Like I would never just start a TV show at season four. So I guess it makes sense. I guess it does. But there's what I do. Like I would never just start a TV shot season four. So I guess it makes sense. I guess it does. But there's a lot of episodes. I know. So MJ sends me a message and goes, we went through a phase where we were talking about sex injuries a lot.

Well, I think we brought it up once and then they poured in. Don't say poured in. Don't say poured in. So I thought we could, so I thought I would share what MJ shared with me. So because you're the audio queen and the queen of accents and sound effects, I thought you could really bring MJ's story to life because, boy, does he have a story to tell. I feel like this is a bit like how Ellen said be kind

and then it turned out she, like, wasn't kind. Like, me saying the audio queen and then not being that good at accent, it feels like I've backed something in that I'm not very good at. Okay, so what you're saying is MJ has gone back to the beginning, he's listening to all the podcasts, got to the sex injury thing and went, I've got a fucking corker. Here we go.

I've got to send this through. All right, great. I've got to send this through. Allow us to bring it to life. Okay. I'm standing up because I was like, I'm going to need to be nimble for this, I think. Okay.

Actually, MJ starts the story. And by the way, he's from London. Okay. And MJ is, how do I say this, a very confident man, very confident in himself, his abilities, his sexual prowess. Okay. I'm not saying he's a Geordie, but there's like that Geordie confidence aura. That cocky.

Wow. Especially how this story ends. Okay. All right. So should I try the accent first? Hello, mate. Like, you got a dollar, mate. Like, I'm from London.

Is that right? Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. Okay, cool. I'll back that accent in. Yeah, back that in. All right.

His first line, you got it in front of you. All right. So one night, I'm taking my boyfriend down to Pound Town, properly working my masculine prowess like a goddamn porn star. So if you're in the- He sounds hot. He is. I'll show you the picture on Instagram.

So if you're in the London apartment next door, this is probably what you can hear. Oh, yeah, mate. That sounds fucking wicked. Then MJ realises it starts to feel a bit warm down there, so he asks himself. Oh, has the cum gun gone off? And he's gone to the Caribbean, has he?

Surely I haven't fired that cockney cannon yet. I'm still feeling my moves. It still feels hard. He's still from the Caribbean, is he? Surely I haven't fired that cockney cannon yet. I'm still feeling my moves. It still feels hard. He's still squealing like the beautiful banshee that he is. I must be sweet. My partner then asked me if I've come and I've told him that I'm fine. I specifically told him. You and the rest of this village know when this hun goes off.

This hun. So in the rest of this village know when this hun goes off. This hun. So in the words of MJ, he... I carried on going like the galloping stallion that I am. But it then became obvious to both of them that something had obviously happened. That warm

feeling. What was that? So MJ jumped up, turned on the light, and then he realised... There's blood fucking everywhere! MJ's first thought was... Fuck, he has taken a proper pounding. So MJ asked his partner if he was OK, and his partner's like, oh, yeah, I'm fine, but are you? And then MJ looks down and he realises...

Me two little boys and their commander general is squirting blood everywhere. Fucking hell. MJ had... Sorry, just let's pause there. How's the voice going? Are you feeling it? It's all good? It's a thing.

It's a voice that you're doing. Okay. I can confirm that. Good. MJ had snapped his frenulum. Oh, the banjo string. The banjo string. had snapped his frenulum.

Oh, the banjo string. The banjo string. And when it sounds like when you snap that is? What would it sound like? Bang. Yeah, you nailed that. Thank you. So what did MJ do next? I stuffed a towel down me undies.

Hang on, hang on. He's from London. That's. Keep going. That's London, isn't it? I stuffed a towel down me undies, bleeding everywhere, went to the emergency room, and the female triage nurse took one look at me meat puppet and was like, fuck, that.

And was like, fuck, that. Hey, this is what MJ DM'd me. Breediest words. Fuck. She took one look at me meat puppet and was like, fuck, that parsnips cost a right roasting. And left me standing there in a packed emergency room holding me bleeding box on.

MJ needed an emergency circumcision. Hang on, what's that word I'm trying to say? Circumcision. Circumcision. Circumcision. MJ needed an emergency circumcision. I didn't have the cash, but I didn't want to tell my parents I was railing some Trentum twink. So in an effort to get them to pay, I said,

Mum, Dad, I went and got me trouser snake caught in the zipper, didn't I? Which would sound like... Oh, no, me meat and two veg got stuck in me zipper. I can confirm MJ's parents paid. MJ's pork sword is ready to roast again. Oh. Well done, Audio Queen. Thank you.

That was lots of fun. And thank you, MJ, for sharing. I think I did a good job on that accent. You did a great job on that accent, and I guarantee no one from the UK, including MJ, is going to message and say anything otherwise. I think they'll like that. They'll be happy with that.

Yeah. Have you ever had anything happen to your banjo string or your meat puppet, your parsnip, whatever? The parsnip getting a proper roasting. No, my friend did and we were there the next day and the mattress was just full of blood. Oh. And so we went in there and we're like, geez, that mattress is pretty fucked.

Fucking murder. I reckon you should flip it over. No. Take it. In the meantime. Just in the meantime. Just in the meantime. Oh.

And you know what he said? What? I already have. Yeah. Permission to use the word harrowing? Hi, this is Alyssa from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive thank you to... Shannon, Alicia Westcamp,

Chai Sadams, Colin Tranquada, Leo Kinnelepa, Tash Stephens... Yes, you did.ens, Megan Scott, Kirsten Anderson. One more. We've got Tilly Rose, Zachary Witzel, Rachel McPherson and Disappearing Mum. Is that?

It's their name on Patreon. Don't know if it's a dead mum joke or a your mum joke because your mum obviously. Not Mandy. Well, your mum disappeared from the planet. Yeah. So did yours. Mine just disappeared to the train station.

Yeah. Mine has an excuse for not being around. Yours doesn't. Saw one, was like, see ya. Wouldn't have thought so. Hit the fucking. Not with those shoes. Skid.

What's that saying? Hit the dusty trail. Hit the skids. Hit the. Hit. Hit the, hit the skids? Hit the, hit, hit the. Beth. She caught the train out of town. She just fucking left.

Like that. I'll get some cigarettes. Wow. So we decided we were going to watch the first of a trilogy. Yes, we did. The options were Austin Powers trilogy, Spider-Man, the original Tobey Maguire one, Back to the Future, Taken, Hot Fuzz, like the Cornetto trilogy, or Naked Gun.

They were the options. I didn't realise the word Cornetto trilogy meant those. Like I knew they were a trilogy but I didn't know they were a name. Yeah. So people kept mentioning Cornetto. I'm like, is that one of the movies? Have I missed one? Oh, yeah.

But that's just what it's called. Yeah, so there is a Cornetto in each of them, you know, because it's like Hot Fars, Shaun of the Dead and The World's End, isn't it? That pub one. Yeah. Yeah. They're very funny, those ones.

They're a bit crazy. Yeah. I'm not a huge fan but it's like inoffensive. Yeah. Like'm not a huge fan, but it's like inoffensive. Yeah. Like it's fine. But I love Back to the Future. Really? So I was a bit gutted when that didn't win.

Maybe we can watch it another week. We'll find another excuse to wheel it in then. Yeah, yeah. So I totally forgot until I rewatched Austin Powers, that first scene where he comes out of, like he's frozen for 30 years? He's been cryogenically frozen for 30 years. And I just thought it was so funny when I was in primary school that he, what do you do when you wake up in the morning?

You go and take a piss. Yeah. And, of course, you've been asleep for 30 years. You're going to have one hell of a morning piss, right? Yeah, yeah. And the piss just goes on and on and then it stops. And it, oh, it's complete. Evacuation complete.

Evacuate. And I don't know why that did me in when I was little. And I used to do that. Like I used to do it. So you used to go, evacuation complete. Yeah. And so if I was, you know, at school camp or whatever, that was like my go-to.

A bit of a comedy genius. Or in the change rooms because, you know, boys are gross and we're, you know, after a sport or whatever. And I just thought it was the funniest thing and probably did it 20 times. How did the other blokes relax? They were very relaxed. They were super relaxed.

How did they respond to that? Like did it get a laugh every time? Because I imagine it would have. I think the first, as in each time when I was like. With a new group of people. Yeah. Yeah. And then you like pee again. With a new group of people. Yeah. Yeah. And then you like pee again.

Everyone's like, ha, ha, ha. But then because the joke goes on and on in the movie. Yeah. You actually don't have that much wee. I don't have that much wee, but I found that people in the room were like, we get the joke and I would describe it as diminishing returns. Sometimes you've got to quit while you're ahead. And this was not one of those times.

Yeah. In fact, I, as I was losing, pushed even harder. Oh, and then you shit yourself. Yeah. Oh, no. Imagine that. Oh, God. Oh, God.

Could you guys go? Yeah. Is this part of the comedy act, Ryan? Or can we just get back to putting our ankle braces on and playing volleyball? Strapping your wrists for volleyball. Don't fucking. I didn't know that there were bathrooms in like toilets or a urinal or whatever.

Is that a thing? You didn't realise there were a urinal and a bathroom? No, in like a change room. There's both. Oh, is there? Showers, urinals, cubicles. Oh, I don't think I knew that. I mean, I don't play a lot of sports.

When you're playing sport, what do you do? I sit down and eat instead and don't play sport. I really like Austin Powers. Like I think it's so funny. And my sisters and I used to watch it so much when we were younger. And I remember like when Goldmember came out and it was huge because it was like the first new one in ages um and my sister Libby and I we set up this um postal service in our house and it was called Powers Post and so we decorated like shoe boxes um and we would like post letters

to each other um and like she was in the bedroom across from mine but she would like sneak into my room put a new letter in there and I would do it to her as well. You lost all the letters though. Oh, it was just like us chatting to each other or like writing jokes down and putting them in the thing. But we loved it. Do you think why we all loved Austin Powers is because we were at the age where, you know how it's a bit like a bit flirty and a little bit sex, like a little, like, you know, Elizabeth

Hurley is like a man and then Beyonce is the next one. And it's always a bit like, it's a bit sexy without being like over the top for, you know, a 13 year old boy a man. And then Beyonce is the next one. And it's always a bit like it's a bit sexy without being, like, over the top for, you know, a 13-year-old boy. You're like, oh, my God. Yeah, but they make, like, boob jokes and stuff. Like the Johnson in the. Yeah, and I still find it funny. Yeah.

There I said it. But it's just so harmless, I feel. Yeah. Like it's mostly like you're watching it and you're just like, that's just fine. I completely forgot about the Johnson scene. Johnson. But it's mostly like you're watching it and you're just like, that's just fine. I completely forgot about the Johnson scene. Johnson. But it's so good.

I agree. And that's such a good way of putting it, of like it being not too much for a kid but like when you're grown up, you're like get the extra jokes, like the Swedish penis pump thing. Like, yeah, it just goes on for too long. I also think that it was only like maybe a few years ago that I realised that he plays all the characters. Okay, I didn't want to bring this up because I was so embarrassed.

Oh, were you the same? I was reading about it. Oh, this was a few years ago, but like 15 years after I'd watched it for the 50th time and I was like, Mike Myers is Austin Powers and Dr. Evil? Yeah. Do you know that he also plays Fat Bastard? Yeah. It's like.

Yeah. And as someone who likes to think they're clever and we both work in media, so we kind of know how stuff is produced. But it's just also like people just know that. Yeah. It's obvious. Yeah. Like look at his face.

They look the same. Yeah, no, that took me a lot longer than it should have to realise. Does that like, comedy actors are often like in a different category because it's like cheap jokes and stuff. But he's obviously like a pretty good actor. And Mike Myers is like obviously a good actor. Yeah. The amount of things that he's been in and done.

But to have conversations with yourself as a different person. And not have the rapport that you would have. Like you and I talking would be very different if I was doing both of us. Wow. Because you don't get. If you pass away, I'll try to edit you in and I'll have a conversation with myself. That would be easy, I think. I actually do think that would be easy.

What sounds would I just add to. Get fucked. Meow. Love you, bye. See. conversation with myself and just that would be easy i think i actually do think that would be what sounds would i just add to get fucked meow love you bye see now we're done oh do you want to hear a fact like you know that's just the things that i say um but when we were watching austin powers so as you talked about he is frozen for 30 years um i have found a list, well, I have compiled a list. Curated a list? Curated, yes, love that, of things that if you had been frozen for 30 years and you woke up today, that would be news to you. So like really big like things that we've experienced in the last 30 years.

Can I play the role of someone who's just awoken and is shocked to learn this? Oh, yeah. Does that work for you? Yeah, that's fun. Evacuation. And the fun thing about this is that it's like a secret way for me to tell you facts.

Oh. Oh. I wrote it down and I was like, it's like a list of facts. You've played me like a fool. And I've already. I'll be it. The fool that you are. And not only that, I'm committed to being a character.

Yes. In this segment. In this play. I was fucking pulling your string. Okay, let me change my tune to someone who's woken from 30 years and is very disinterested. Okay, hang on. But before you do that.

And I'm impressed by what's happened. 1991. The internet is made commercially available. Then you're frozen. Okay. So it's just. The internet has just become a thing like a year before you go to sleep, frozen.

Okay. But so it would have been like, oh, that thing the military uses to send messages. People can use it now. Well, you probably wouldn't have even known about it. That's what I mean. It's a secret. Whatever.

I don't know what it is. Do you want to wake up and I'm telling you or am I doing it? How enthusiastic do you want me to be? You know what? Do you want me to just tell you? Because it's just like interesting. Oh, I see. Okay. This just feels like it's just going to take a long time to figure it out.

You've got somewhere to be, mate. No, I don't. Checking the time. Okay. So basically, the internet would have become available in 1991. Then you go to sleep or frozen, whatever. OJ Simpson. Oh, yeah, fuck. Yeah, like the murder and fling in the Bronco. That was in 1994.

What do you mean the murder? He's just a footballer. eBay was founded in 1995. Well, I don't understand the internet, so that means nothing to me. Mike Tyson bit that guy's ear in 1997. He's not a biter. He's just a fighter. Google was founded in 1998.

I also still don't know what the internet is. Missed Y2K, like the millennium bug thing. Again. No internet. No, I'm just not going for a henday. Again? No, you're fucking my facts again, and it's a different thing. Again? Yeah, I know. No internet. No, I'm just not going for a hand day. Again? Now you're fucking my facts again and it's a different thing. Can we just

have a moment and pour one out for the Y2K bug? Pretty crazy. Like, think about how scary that would have been. Like, I was seven. I don't remember it. But like, that would have been really... They were freaked out. Have you ever gone to a party where there was just

expectations and it was going to be great and it just ended up being a massive fucking letdown like every New Year's? The original letdown of New Year's was the Y2K bug. You wouldn't know about 9-11. That happened in 2001. That would be hard to comprehend, wouldn't it? Well, that was like changed travel, changed everything. Totally. Yeah, fucking hell. Facebook was founded in 2004. Changed everything. Totally.

Yeah, fucking hell. Facebook was founded in 2004. Oh, what's that on? Is that on the internet? Also in 2004, the Boxing Day tsunami in Thailand. Oh, yeah. Crazy. So I lived in Thailand for a year.

Yeah. What year did you live there? Like 10 years after that happened. Sure. But it's still like real fresh in their memory. And apparently what happens with tsunamis is like the water actually goes way out to sea and then it comes back twice as hard. Yeah.

But what happens, because the water goes out, it seems silly to think now, but like the water goes out, your natural reaction is like, this is crazy, let's go out there. So everyone's like, you know, imagine your beach that you go to every day and you can just walk out a couple hundred metres and you're like on the sand and you're like, this is ridiculous. Like this whole bay has disappeared. And you would just be so overwhelmed.

So you go out there and then comes back tenfold and there's still marks where like this is where the water got to. And when you're there, you're like, but the beach is down the street and around the corner and they're like, yeah. Fuck. Yeah, it's heckers. Just I remember. Tsunamis feel like a thing that's not real.

You know, it's like a thing in the movies. That's never going to happen. Yeah. Yeah. Because I think my mum had like just come back from Thailand. She went on a holiday with my sister. And I remember seeing and she was like, we were just there. I was really little. They went together. But my sister's Yeah. And I remember seeing, and she was like, we were just there. No, I was really little.

She, they went together. But my sister's like 13 years older than me. Oh, okay, righto. So they would have gone to the bars and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like they went for like a girl's week. Yeah, good place for it. Yeah.

Anyway. Not a good place for a child. Exactly. Another thing that you wouldn't know about because you don't know about the internet, iPhones came out in 2007. I reckon that would be what would fuck you up the most. Like everybody's walking around with a tiny computer. You don't understand what a fucking is.

Why are you looking at that thing? The GFC in 2007 as well, like crazy. Bitcoin was introduced in 2009 and then only really was like a thing in like what, 2012, 13, 14? Yeah. Became like a real thing. And then it all ended yesterday. So, um.

Yep. See you later. Those guys. Um, Australia's first female PM, Julia Gillard, 2010. What a legend. Water found on Mars in 2015. Really? Hearing that, you just.

I didn't know that now. Yeah. Liquid water was found on Mars. Oh, liquid water. Well, so like that it would be that we could potentially live there because it's not all just ice. Yeah. So don't be a fuckhead.

Sorry, I've just woken up from a 30-year sleep. Sorry, mate. You've got a big wee in you. You know when you wake up a bit groggy and a bit grumpy? That's what I'm like right now. Same-sex marriage was legalised in the US in 2015 and happened in Australia in 2017. That will obviously ruin the sanctity of marriage

and I don't know what they're thinking. Yeah, I mean it's been, what, five years now and it's fucked. Why is the world still turning if blokes are marrying each other? Are we sure that that's... Is that what we want to do? Are we checking the intel on that? Yeah. 2018, the Thai soccer team was rescued from a cave.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. And then, obviously, COVID in 2020 and Apple became the first public company to be worth $1 trillion. Oh, the people that make the Macintoshes. Yeah, the coloured computers with the big Macs. And you would have been frozen during Season 5 of Home and Away

and woken up. What did I miss? And woken up in Season 33. But is Alf still okay? Yeah, he's still there. Does he look the same? He's still in it. Oh, he's still doing the same character?

Yeah. Oh, flaming glass. Flaming glass. Yeah. Fucking hell. You know what's crazy about that? Do you think that's interesting or did you hate that? No, I did like, I hate that I liked that.

Okay, good. The craziest thing is obviously, and we're still kind of in it, is COVID. COVID would be so hard to comprehend. In 100 years, they'll be like, hang on a sec, you guys just kind of like stopped living for two years because someone was sick? And we'll be like, yeah, and a million people died. And it's like I still can't comprehend what has just happened.

When we were in the real depths of it, especially in Melbourne, it was really, really hard because we were locked down for so long. It was actually just a bit like what we just said about tsunamis. It sounds so fake. It sounds like a movie. Yeah, but then we were in it and it's like as if there's a pandemic right now and we're not allowed to leave our houses and we can't see anybody and we can't go to work.

We can't, you know, we couldn't buy any fresh produce at the shops. There was no pasta, no toilet paper. Like it was such an insane. Don't say there was no toilet paper. Well, there wasn't. That was real. No, I know. I had to live through that.

But, yeah, pretty crazy 30 years that we've had. I like that. Thank you. Thank you for delivering facts in a non-fact set up of a chat. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Sorry, I've just woken up. I'm still tired and groggy. The evacuation completes.

I've got a fog. I've got a fog. Hey, you know what I love to see? Yeah. Shaquille O'Neal. What a mad dog. He was on a date the other night. Sure.

Goes to this fancy restaurant in New York. And then when he leaves, goes, how much do you reckon all the meals are here plus tips for the whole restaurant tonight? And they go, oh, probably 25 grand. Pays for the whole restaurant. Now, here's a few things to just add. As if he's not getting his dick sucked by that date.

Like... I was getting, I was going to build up to that. Oh, sorry. In terms of flexing on a date, hey, babe, just one second. I'm just going to pay for the whole restaurant. I'm just going to pay for dinner or ours, everyone's. Just dinner in general. Is that if someone, if your date did that, what's going to happen later?

I know you've already given a pretty clear indication. You'd be, I think you'd, I think it would depend on the person. If they'd been. If you? No, no, no, no. I mean, if the date had been flexing and being like, don't you know I'm so rich and blah, blah, then I'd be like, fuck off, dickhead.

But if they were quite humble and quite nice, and then at the end they were like, look, let me take care of everyone's dinner. It's, you know, it's on me. Then I would, then I would like it. So Shaq offered on his way out and he said, can you not mention anyone for five minutes because I'm going to hit the road.

So he didn't want to be. He didn't want to make a big scene. He's like, hey, I'm happy. And he actually said, don't say who it was, just take the money and hopefully everyone had a great night and it's on me. And apparently someone like saw him do it and it wasn't until a week later they were like, hey, that was Shaq. So he wasn't like, hey, everyone, it's Shaq. It wasn't like hey everyone it's Shaq it's on me yeah now he's like let's let me cover this

everyone looks like they're having a great night times are tough interest rates go whatever let me just take care of everyone wouldn't you be really fucked off if you went the next day if he settled the bill and then you ordered then you went went, look, let's get a champagne or something. But he'd already paid and they're like, well, we're going to have to add that to your plate. He hasn't taken care. It just stops you up, the tub's out, like a menu. Or you rocked up and ordered the risotto because you didn't want

to spend the money on the steak. You're like, I can't afford the steak. I can't afford the steak. I'll just get the fucking small pasta. And then someone goes, it's all on the house. Like, I could have eaten a porterhouse, right? Yeah, I would have eaten the fucking lobster surf and turf. And I'm having a mushroom risotto.

And just table water, thanks so much. So what would you do now you know the circumstances? I'd be impressed. And I would just think, oh, what a lovely, wholesome thing to do. That's very different to your original words. Because there were different circumstances. Oh, it's like his dick. Yeah, oh, sorry.

Why you love to see it is this tweet that went a bit viral during the week. This girl was waiting for a flight. Oh, God. Waiting for a flight. Oh, God. Waiting for a flight, and they were sitting in the departure lounge, and all of a sudden this guy opens up his suitcase, and they're all like, what the fuck is he doing? And he pulled out a groundhog, like a little animal made of Lego.

It's a toy. And it's just on the floor. It's just on the floor. It's just on the floor in the airport. That's not that funny. Why is that so funny? Why are you losing it? What does the caption say? Waiting for our flight and this guy pulls a life-size Lego groundhog

out of his carry-on. But if it's a groundhog, soon it's going to be. For anybody that didn't hear that because I went a bit supersonic. I said that. That was a groundhog. It's a groundhog. Oh, is this the clear explanation? Lucky I got this because I didn't get the last one.

It's going to be an air hog. What has happened to this one? I just thought it was so funny. All right, you and I have to, we've got a short trip coming up in a few weeks. I know what I'm packing in my carry-on luggage. Your air hog. Well, you normally wear Air Jordans. You wear your ground Jordans.

My face is hurting. I'm laughing so much. If you use the air conditioner. Have you got the ground conditioner on? It's a bit cool down here. Oh, sorry. See you next week. My father's really rich. I'm the heir to the throne.

Only on a plane. Oh, I need some ground. What's on the flight today? Is it the ground beef? Well, not when we get up there. Oh, no, on the flight. On the 747, we serve air beef, obviously. Like when you clean your... LAUGHTER

When you clean your driveway, do you use an air compressor? Or a ground blower? An air compressor! LAUGHTER I hope everyone's tuned out and is no longer listening. Oh, my God. I've given myself a migraine. See you on Meownday.

Tomorrow on Patreon, in a bonus episode, there is a bullying expose. Yeah. We'll be live on the air. On ground? Yeah. It's my last day on ground at Kiss FM tomorrow as well. Fucking hell.

Love you. Bye. On ground with Ryan Seacrest. Seacrest. My life. Ground. Seacrest. Kiss me.

Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me.

Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me.

Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me.

Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me.

Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me.

Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me. I'm about to piss myself I'm about to piss I love you see you on Monday

fucking hell fucking earth because we're not in hell